#i got their thumbs up to keep saying bro dw

[8uny]

my lil bro started estrogen and our twin energy will soon be unstoppable. we'll actually literally be the identical gender nonconforming sibling pair that fiction wishes was real. my family just mixed them up for me today and its only going to get more confusing. tell people we are transgender energy and no one can tell our agab type of deal.

im planning on growing my hair out too now that i have such passing privilege so im saying its only going to get funnier. its going to get so funny. too many people were mistaking me for a cis man at my internship i have to keep them on their toesies.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Psychometry i want to hear about any trinkets!!!!

👤 Psychometry: What is your OC’s most prized possession? What’s the history behind it?

okay so <3 let's talk about Harrison's guardian angel necklace bc it matters sooo much (and for some reason it's the one piece of OC jewelry I don't own???). In Moth Work, I randomly gave him a necklace and then it turned into a multi-book symbol!

some fun lore before I get into it is that this was lowkey inspired by my kindergarten teacher who used to collect guardian angel pins/brooches!

under the cut because this got autistic and long <3 !! hehe

OKAY SO! It's a small pendant of an angel/cherub though it's described a little inconsistently lol so idk what it looks like (when *I* eventually get one it'll look like That). Originally I described it as a "small wire angel inlaid with the grain-sized opal" which is CUTE but I also describe it with tiny crystals on the wings & in chapter 13 Harrison throws it so hard one of them falls off lollll.

THE LORE is that his mother Suzanna gave it to him (.......... before she abandoned him OOOF) & it's his prized possession! This bit from Feeding Habits explains that history:

Prayer sent him nothing when Suzanna slipped into his room past midnight when everything had settled, kissed him on the forehead. Nothing when she pushed a small golden chain under his pillow for him to and have that be the only thing he’d ever find of her for a decade and a half.

So Harrison really associates that angel not only as a gift from his mother but AS his mother because it's the only thing he had of her for a long time. He wears it under his shirt before he gives it to Lonan at the end of the book (though in SV he keeps it lol like he went "nah it's mineee"), though it exchanges between them a couple times. First time that happens is when Harrison leaves it in his jacket pocket and then Lonan robs him & takes the jacket :) (dw harrison robs him back in fh) & doesn't realize the angel's in there.

From there, it gets STOLEN when Lonan gets beat up by a guy after he unwittingly sleeps with his wife (lol the moth work/feeding habits lonan plots are soooo wild which is probably why hallowed bodies is boring it's BALANCE). This is context of the Lonan Beat Up art:

“I’ll leave,” he says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Blood from his eye makes him see only in red. “Just give me back the jacket and the necklace.” When the man raises his fist again, Lonan cringes into the wall and shakes his head. “Please. They belong to a friend.”

*a friend* bomBASTIC side eye

Lonan actually feels sooooo bad about losing BOTH iconic harrison paraphernalia, though he and Eliza manage to get them back later in the book. Lucky thing that he continues to wear them after this because Suz (who doesn't know him) sees him at a hospital and recognizes the angel and is like... bro you're not my child!! And Lonan's like ohhhh christttt that's my boyfriend's mommmm!!

She stares at him unashamedly, outlining each ridge of eyelash, jaw. Her eyes are a damp brown, something glittering in them like an unturned landmine. At first, he doesn’t react when she grabs the guardian angel. She thumbs the gem, stroking it carefully, and it’s only when she covers it with her palm like she’s suffocating it that he yanks away and cups it with his own palm.

At one point ELIZA starts wearing the angel necklace (because..... we can make assumptions) & is actually wearing it when Harrison finds Lonan again in part 3 after having the time of his life with Jeremiah:

He’s been staring at her for an hour, but only notices the necklace at this point. The gold chain shimmers under her collar, and a miniature figure presses through her scrubs when she leans forward on her knees. “That’s mine,” he says, reaching for it. Before he can touch the chain, Eliza’s grabbed his hand and pushed it away. The dusty turquoise of her scrubs makes her look even redder with anger. “Your necklace? That’s mine.”

She gives it back to him from there and he wears it for like a couple hours before he and Suz have the argument of the century & he does the aforementioned throwing.

But but but when Lonan takes Harrison to The Beach (very vague location loollll) to calm him down he HAS IT!! Love a man who collects his bf's possessions of the ground <3

“This got me out of a lot of trouble.” Lonan closes his hand around the pendant. It’s only when he pulls his hand back that Harrison realizes he’s been holding his since they first sat down—the absence of it cold and sudden. Lonan undoes the clasp, and drapes the chain around Harrison’s neck, so the pendant hits his breastbone.

He wears it for the rest of the book before he gives it to Lonan at the very end when he knows he is Done and Leaving lol

He almost says something but catches himself. He knows whatever he will say will keep him here, in this sun, on this barstool, reading the newspaper about moths, sitting next to Lonan, drinking his tea, never knowing what flavour it is. Harrison inhales, and on his exhale, unclasps the chain and drapes it around Lonan’s throat.

Anyway so from then on Lonan wears it! Harrison doesn't canonically take it back! I'm not sure if he would. Maybe I should write MW 3 to find out :))) this is them talking about it though when they first reunite!

“Are you wearing my necklace?” Harrison asks. His voice is dampened by the snow ledged against the windows. The pendant’s gone from coast to coast, seen things even Harrison hasn’t. Lonan doesn’t move. His eyes remain closed. He fidgets with the angel, says, “Yes.” “Why?” “If you want it back, I’ll give it to you.” “That’s not why I’m asking.”

So that's the story of the angel necklace! I actually don't know how Suzanna herself got it since it is hers, but I'd assume it was a gift or also passed down to her.

Anyway it basically looks like this!

this was fun!!!

[1252291]

whos your favorite fic writer/moots and why? Got any recommendations?

these aren’t in any particular order.  it’s whatever came to mind first !  i think something that should be kept in mind is that i rarely read a fic entirely and not just skim it. so the people that i put on this list are people that i actually take the time to do more than skim the fic.  that makes me sound like a bitch, but y’know !!   i'm just telling the truth </3

honourable mentions but can’t say much because head empty and thumbs cramping. please know i love you so much even though my fingers are fuckin abt to fall off. if u message me i’ll HYPE U UP DW ABT IT:  @izukine ,  @armins-futon ,  @tetsunormous , @alrightberries , @zekeslut . 

1 .       @weepinglevi   //     lisa is one of the few people that i’ve actually read, and enjoyed the way that eren was written.  any of the eren fics that she comes out with are always chefs kiss.  she’s also an absolute sweetheart to just sit down and talk to about anything that comes to mind.  you’ll love her work, and her horny thoughts on the dash.  go check her out, and tell her that i’m waiting for eren in the kitchen with my plate for that chicken. 

2 .       @onyxoverride   //     onyx is just one of those writers where you read their work, and you sit with it for a little while. it really makes you get up to fucking touch some grass. i do have a rec that was the one that pulled me in, it was uhhhh, lemme link it here.  it’s zeke x reiner x reader .  i’m into that type of stuff, y’know.  also i just started talking to onyx ,  so i promise they’re funny and not intimidating at all if ur not a pussy.  IM KIDDING . zXREAR. ok fr!! check them out !

3 .       @snkslush   //     if horny was personified then mixed in with the power puff girls, hex girls, and lisa frank  –- you’d get maia.  absolutely a smut heathen.  while i don’t have any fics in particular to recommend, their thirsts are enough to keep anybody fed, ok?? also,  they will absolutely bounce every horny thought you have in your head right back to you and ampliphy that shit. bro, i promise you, you won’t regret it. 

4 .       @arumiee   //     i’m not sure if mars knows her actual talent, or potential in everything that they write?? like. i mean, of course they probably do, but the absolutle power they had writing smut to a gospel song. stop.  this is the link to it if you haven’t read it.  10 / 10 please marry me. 

5 .       @bakhoe   //     miss stinky pants who’s going to hook me up with her cousin because he looks like bertholdt and we’re gonna become family -- i mean. talented. absolutely talented. before i started writing my own content for aot ( y’know, back when i was just creeping silently with a blank blog ), i actually read a lot of mar’s things. mostly the armin stuff if i’m being honest. i can’t remember in particular any, but check them all out. you won’t regret. 

6 .       @welcometotheclubhoe   //     should i even tag you when ur in horny jail??? it’s gonna end up leaking over or smthing, ew. gross. but, jay was one of my first mutuals ever.  anything jay writes actually is just inscribed in my brain. all of the things she’s published is going to be read at my funeral. 

7.       @odmlevis   //     riz is one of those blogs i don’t see on my dash for a while then out of nowhere she smacks me with bertholdt nsfw art and calls it a gift.  she’s also very talented. i dunno if you’ve ever gotten to read any of her work, but i promise you won’t regret it.  pls...go look. take a GANDERRR. 

8.       @yuh-arlert  //     this is my grandchild. also, the way i read their first smut before they published it and it was godly but they were STILL UNSURE.  who?? for what??? anything they write for jean has me running in circles, PLS. 

[kbstories]

impression//expression

“It’s not like Kirishima had come all this way to U.A. to immediately break the promise he made to himself upon arrival.

It’s just that Bakugou is as feral as they come, and the moment Kirishima recognizes it’s fear he felt crawling up his spine that day, he makes it his personal mission to face it head-on until it’s gone.”

(Or: Being friends with Bakugou Katsuki is anything but a linear experience. Kirishima Eijirou would have it no other way.)

Tags: Kirishima POV, Developing Friendships, Protective Baku, Soft Baku, Stargazing

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Minor content warning for (discussions of) self-esteem issues. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9.

***

“Bakugou.”

With an absent hum, Bakugou turns the page, squints, scribbles down a line in his neat, tight handwriting. A piece of black fabric separates his hand from the paper, the same wrapped around his pen, too.

Kirishima leans forward, over his own book-and-notepad combination dotted with scrawled comments and colorful post-it notes. It’s been an hour since any of it has made sense to him.

“Bakuuu. C’mon.”

A sigh, annoyed. Another line is added. Then: “The fuck d’you want?”

It takes a few seconds until the silence has stretched enough for Bakugou to look up and into Kirishima’s pleading eyes. Bakugou’s expression barely changes beyond a raised brow, unimpressed. It’s the one reserved for when Kirishima’s being especially dense – slightly more severe than muttered curses and slightly less so than that God-help-me roll of his eyes he premiered during their last study session.

Which was yesterday. Kirishima would be proud of unlocking a new Angry Bakugou Face in record time… if U.A.’s grumpiest genius wasn’t the only thing standing between him and a frankly impressive row of failed grades.

Final’s Week is brutal, even for heroes-in-training. Especially for heroes-in-training. So: Desperate times, desperate measures.

“Slap me”, Kirishima tells Bakugou, hushed in their corner of the library. “As hard as you possibly can.”

The arch of Bakugou’s brow climbs higher, utterly devastating in its wordless criticism. He says, “What”, tone Aizawa-levels of flat, and it’s not a question. It’s a command: Explain or else.

Kirishima is in no state to resist. The confession bubbles out of him in a whiny rush.

“Dude, I slept like… zero hours last night ‘cause Kami got Pokémon Colosseum – y’know, the reboot? So cool – and we kinda lost track of time. I know, I know, it was a stupid idea, I swear it was an honest mistake!”

Bakugou continues to stare as he puts down his pen and wipes his palms on the edge of his shirt. Kirishima ducks his head, hiding behind the limp strands of his hair.

“Don’t look at me like that, man. I’m seriously about two minutes from passing out here and there’s like a hundred pages of this thing I haven’t read yet, let alone understood, and oh shit Mic will hand me my ass with words tomorr–”

It all happens so quickly: Kirishima catches a blur of motion headed his way and squeaks; his skin hardens about half-way before there’s sparks and his cheek smarts, and a hissed “Motherfucker” sounds right in front of him.

The sharp slap! noise registers only after the fact, when Kirishima holds his face and Bakugou holds his hand and they both stare at each other in mutual bafflement as their skin turns red with the impact.

That moment is like glue, clear and sticky as it extends past its natural limit – then Bakugou snorts and starts to laugh, a cackling hyena-laugh that Kirishima’s never heard in full and certainly not like this, loud and unrestrained, and all hopes of holding back his own laughter is lost as he cracks up, too.

They laugh and laugh, until Kirishima’s stomach starts to cramp up and there’s the sheen of tears in Bakugou’s eyes. “Your f-fucking face”, Bakugou wheezes at some point. “Fucking bastard, you almost broke my hand! With your fucking face!”

All it does is send them into another round of hysterics.

At some point, Kirishima glimpses some of their classmates poke their head around the bookshelves secluding their study corner from the rest of the library, faces ranging from exasperated to deeply disturbed. There’s Ashido, giggling at the sight of both of them bent over and struggling to get some sort of grip, and Kaminari, who just mumbles “What the hell, guys” while straddling the line between sleep-deprived and intensely fascinated by what he’s seeing.

And hey, at least Kirishima’s really freaking awake now. There’s the problem of trying and failing to breathe without dying, his face helplessly flushed and sweating, but the world’s colors are back to being bright and sharp. Across from him, Bakugou isn’t faring much better, shaking his head and the back of his hand covering the broad smile he can’t seem to get rid of.

“Fuck you, you stupid, moronic idiot. For fuck’s sake, Kirishima.”

Kirishima rubs at his chest, the ache in his lungs starting to lessen now that he’s marginally back in control. “I’m so sorry but like”, he waves at himself and he can’t help his grin despite the stinging protest coming from his cheek. “Thanks, dude!”

“Eat a dick.” There’s no bite whatsoever in Bakugou’s grumbling as he sits back down and digs his nose into his book once more, thoroughly ignoring their flabbergasted audience.

After a moment of pantomiming what amounts to I’ll tell you later to their friends, Kirishima joins him, ready to tackle the final boss that is the English language.

*

Nitro!! (Baku 💣💥 )

yo nitro (sent 17:48)

where u at? (sent 17:48)

-

why (received 17:52)

-

why what 🤔 (sent 17:53)

OH uh to hang out? (sent 17:55)

dw dude it’s just me (sent 17:55)

-

[location] (received 18:10)

-

bakugou katsuki what are you doing in the middle of the woods??? (sending…)

NO WAY (sending…)

signal’s gone AGAIN i’m going feral (sending…)

screw it (sending…)

*

The GPS signal craps out twice more before Kirishima heaves himself onto the edge of a cliff and spots a familiar silhouette. Sheltered by a bend in the rock bed, the glow of a fire illuminates a backpack set aside, a pair of discarded hiking boots – and Bakugou, leaning against solid stone with his arms crossed behind his head.

“Took ya long enough”, he says, the lazy smirk on his lips cut in flickering shadows.

“Listen.” Kirishima wipes beads of perspiration off his temple; a spontaneous rock-climbing session by the last light of day is not what he had hoped for after hours of exhaustive quirk training. “We already have a perfectly good camp. There’s, like, leftover curry and hot springs and stuff down there.”

Bakugou scoffs. “Yeah. And a bunch of extras.”

There’s an exasperated reply on his tongue – They’re called classmates, genius. Y’know, friends? – but Kirishima knows it’s pointless to even start that debate. He snipes him with his sweaty headband instead, celebrating his own marksmanship when it hits Bakugou square in the chest with a wet thwap.

“Wha– Shitty Hair!”

“You made me climb this stupid cliff in the middle of the night. Deal with it.”

Bakugou just throws it back, the force of an explosion propelling the thing past Kirishima’s shoulder and off the mountain entirely. Kirishima watches singed white fabric disappear into the abyss, bidding it goodbye with a somber salute.

“Well, that’s lame.”

“You’re lame, fuckface.”

“Bro.”

Shaking his head, Kirishima laughs and joins him by the fire.

It’s quiet for a bit while he gets comfy and Bakugou throws a chunk of wood into the flames, sparks bursting into life immediately. This far up, the air feels… brittle, in a way, thin and cold enough Kirishima wouldn’t have been surprised to see his breath mist. The breeze ruffles the crowns of the trees around them, the rush of rustling leaves in the distance strangely soothing.

Bakugou’s gaze is lost in the night sky when he starts to speak. “Been thinking of borrowing my parents’ car and driving out here by myself. Y’know, once I got my license and shit. ‘s got some good trails, people were talking ‘bout it on those shitty hiking forums. Forums, like we’re in the fucking 2000s.”

His elbows on his knees and his head propped on his hands, Kirishima hums and looks up as well. The moon is a thin island of white in an ocean of indigo blue growing steadily darker, a myriad of stars coming out to keep her company. “Yeah?”

“Mh”, Bakugou makes around a soft breath. “Guess they’re all shit out of luck though ‘cause it’s the personal playground of pro heroes, apparently. It’s a miracle none of our idiots got fucking lost coming out here.”

‘Our idiots’, huh? Kirishima nudges his chin lower and into his palms to hide his smile. “Kinda far of a trip to make just for some hiking, isn’t it?”

A casual shrug, followed by a nod upwards. “Not for this. The lodge is the only structure for miles in any direction and even with us here, it’s got fuck all on an entire city. Get it?”

“Yeah! No light pollution, right?”

“Yup”, Bakugou confirms, popping the ‘p’. A small grin is shot Kirishima’s way, teasing rather than mocking. “What’s this, huh? Don’t tell me you paid attention in fucking physics after all.”

Kirishima breathes an offended huff, mock-hurt.

“Pshh, please. Y’know how everyone has that one niche thing they randomly obsessed over as a kid? That was me with astronomy. Back in Middle School I had like, a huge model of all the planets in my room and my favorite constellations mapped across the ceiling with those glow-in-the-dark stars. Years of useless knowledge, all stored right here.”

Kirishima’s thumb taps his forehead as he smiles at Bakugou; Bakugou’s lips pull into a smile of his own, small but there. When he turns back to the stars, Kirishima does the same, sighing wistfully.

“If Thirteen’s class were just about that I’d freaking ace it, dude. I get that I’m kinda dumb with literally anything else, but space is my jam. Did you know that–”

“You’re not.”

The train of thought Kirishima was about to gleefully jump onto screeches to a halt. “…huh?”

Bakugou frowns at him. “You’re not”, a vague wave in his general direction, “stupid or whatever.”

Perhaps the dumbfounded blinking Kirishima’s doing in response is already enough to prove Bakugou wrong on that. Still, Kirishima sits up a bit straighter, eyebrows pulling together tightly.

“Um. I appreciate you saying that, bro, but I’m only here ‘cause Aizawa decided to get in touch with his merciful side after all. Like, Cementoss totally wiped the floor with me back home. There’s no point in lying to myself about that.”

“So you’re calling me a fucking liar, is that it?”

“Huh?”

Kirishima can only watch as Bakugou’s mouth twists beyond the usual doom and gloom and into something… frustrated. Genuinely annoyed. An iron weight settles in Kirishima’s gut, heavy and hard to ignore. “I didn’t– Look, man, can we not fight over this? I’m just saying I wanna face my mistakes and do better, that’s all.”

“Then say it!”

There’s a severity to the words that catches Kirishima off guard. Bakugou is staring him down with eyes so intense they possess their own gravitational pull, closer to black than crimson in the fire’s light–

Kirishima likes to think he knows Bakugou, at least a little. What makes him tick, what makes him angry – because there is a reason and a rhyme to his anger, a pattern to the things that set him off that Kirishima has yet to properly figure out. It’s just that Kirishima isn’t usually one of those things, not anymore.

“You lost me, Baku”, he admits, quietly, after a beat or two of tense silence. “What do you mean?”

Bakugou sighs, a harsh noise between them. The deep breath afterwards is new, however, a sharp inhale followed by a calmer exhale before Bakugou points at him, a wordless listen up.

“Just– Okay. You fucked up and wanna learn from it? Cool, fucking say that then. Not some bullshit about being too dumb to do shit ‘cause you’re not. Fuck right off with that.”

Mouth opening, Kirishima is stopped by a flurry of firecracker sparks and a terse growl of “Shut the hell up, I’m not done.” Finally, Bakugou’s look snaps elsewhere, one sock-clad foot kicking at a loose rock in clear irritation.

“Studying isn’t your strength, who gives a fuck? You got into U.A. top-fucking-two, you’re one of the only capable fuckers around and if you seriously think you don’t deserve to be here because Cementoss got lucky one fucking time then you got another thing coming.”

Kirishima sits there in a state of mild shock until Bakugou huffs and glares at him again. The threat behind it is ridiculously empty considering the impromptu speech he just gave and holy shit, Bakugou Katsuki is praising him. Kirishima Eijirou.

He might actually cry.

“What? You’re competition, bitch, so don’t make me a fucking liar by pretending otherwise.”

Scratch that, tears are definitely part of the picture now.

Wet-rimmed eyes and a quiet sniff, that’s as far as Kirishima gets before Bakugou’s expression suddenly falls, crestfallen to an almost comical degree. Kirishima does laugh then, a watery little chuckle that doesn’t seem to make things much better, either.

“Sorry, just… Damn Nitro, I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. You really think so?”

And okay, yup, that’s a real glare, this time. Bakugou throws up his hands. “You’re so– Urgh. Did I fucking stutter?”

Kirishima rubs the moisture out of his eyes and smiles. “Nope.” Faint embarrassment heats his cheeks; he focuses on the warmth curling in his chest instead, glowing bright and comforting like the embers at their feet and the stars above.

“Good”, Bakugou mutters.

More wood is tossed into the fire and rekindled with red-hot palms. Scooting closer, Kirishima holds out his hands and hums happily as it chases away the ever-cooling temperatures. They can’t stay up here forever – Aizawa will have his hide for sure if he doesn’t show up to the remedial course tonight – yet Kirishima figures they have a few more minutes.

Bakugou goes right back to his earlier sprawl, unaffected by the cold: arms crossed, eyes on the sky like he can’t get enough of the sight. Kirishima thinks of glow-in-the-dark stickers, faded over time. Quietly, he wonders which constellation is Bakugou’s favorite.

“Kiri.”

“Hm? Yeah?”

Shoulders relaxed, voice even, Bakugou says: “Tell me something. About space, I mean.”

As complicated as being friends with Bakugou can get, it can be so, so easy, too. Just a while longer, Kirishima decides as he settles in next to his best friend and starts talking.

>>Chapter 4

[ocean-tumbled-pebbles]

What if Happy Internet Cafe was a Cosplay Internet Cafe?

Fanfic slightly edited from my submission for the June fanfic contest on the discord server! I now have a FFN account and AO3 pending lol. Feedback and comments welcome~

Prompt: Ye Xiu has retired from Glory and departs Excellent Era but doesn’t head to Happy Internet Cafe and become a night manager.

Summary: In which Happy is a cosplay/internet cafe, Ye Xiu is a pro player magnet, and Chen Guo is a shrewd businesswoman

Tags: All叶, allye, cosplay, crossdressing, crackfic, tw minor sexual harassment, help i dont know how chinese money works, timeline is slightly off, let’s play spot the author’s favorite anime characters

(1)

Ye Xiu leant back languidly in his chair, his arms stretching out and coming to rest behind his head. “I feel that I match all of the qualifications, and work and pay aren’t a problem. So how about it?”

Chen Guo eyed him up and down. “Stand up.”

Ye Xiu took the time to stretch out his legs before lazily getting to his feet. Chen Guo circled him like a vulture coming upon a juicy piece of meat, muttering comments to herself.

“Hmm, he’s a little bit tall, but has pretty delicate features.” She crouched down to inspect his legs. “Long legs, not too much muscle....” She circled over to look at his back side. “Hmmm...”

Suddenly Ye Xiu felt a Smack! across his buttocks.

“Um...!” Ye Xiu yelped and rubbed his abused backside.

Chen Guo covered her mouth and snickered. “Oh, you’ll do.”

“Haha..?”

“So which shift do you want?” she asked.

“Night shift is fine!” Ye Xiu figured that he’d avoid the crowds and make some extra money. He didn’t mind switching his sleep schedule and he had always been pretty good at pulling all-nighters, thinking back to his time playing Glory all night long with Su Muqiu.

“Absolutely not!”

“Oh?” Were all the night shift posts taken?

“It’d be a waste to have a good looking guy like you take the night shift! If you want a less busy time you can take either the morning or the evening shift! Pretty boys like you need their beauty sleep!” Chen Guo explained.

Ye Xiu sweatdropped. “Uhh... Okay.... I guess I’ll take the evening shift then.”

Chen Guo clapped her hands together and gestured for him to follow her. “Great! You’ll work from 4 until 10. You get a break at 7 to eat. Most customers only come to use the computers, but if they need any help or want to order food they’ll ring the service bell. We offer special service if they order from us, which is that they can request you to do something, within reason. This usually means saying a line or doing a pose, so do your best to please the customer, alright?”

“Hmm?” Ye Xiu blinked. Wait. What was that last sentence?

“We’ll start you off easy, but we’ll want to take advantage of your good genes later. We’ll let you have a trial period tonight, but you can start officially as soon as tomorrow.” She started  rummaging through a closet in the back room. She finally pulled out some folded clothing in a box that Ye Xiu assumed was the uniform. “You’re about the same height as xiao Li, so this should fit you. I’ll show you the employee locker rooms!”

In front of the locker rooms, Chen Guo shoved the clothes she was holding into his arms.

“Try it on!”

Ye Xiu looked into the box. “Uh, boss, this... is your uniform?”

“You’re chickening out now?” She smacked his back. “You signed up for this, remember? How can we be Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe, the only cosplay internet cafe in all of China, without the cosplay?!”

Ye Xiu almost choked. “Cosplay?”

Chen Guo face palmed. “Have you been paying attention to your surroundings at all? Or at least been listening to me explaining your work?”

Ye Xiu looked around. At a second glance, it turned out that all the staff were wearing costumes of some sort. He had been so focused on getting out of the cold he really hadn’t noticed it!

He’d probably give a bad impression if he admitted he hadn’t been listening to his new boss though, so he coughed and said, “I’ll go change now.”

If he came out with a slight flush in his cheeks, it was a small matter. Well, maybe not, since Chen Guo had squealed and promptly whipped out her camera and begun snapping pictures of him to post on her Weibo. She gave him a big grin and a thumbs up.

“We’ll give you proper training with wigs and make up later. Can’t wait to have you crossdress~!”

A look of horror passes over Ye Xiu’s face. Just what did he sign up for?

(2) Su Mucheng

Dancing Rain: Big bro, you doing alright?

Lord Grim: dw, I got a job!

Dancing Rain: lol who would hire you. Your only skill is gaming

Dancing Rain: you should go back to my place! I’ll provide for you, and you can be my housewife!

Lord Grim: ...

Lord Grim: that was mean.

Dancing Rain: where did you get a job?

Lord Grim: Happy Internet Cafe!

Dancing Rain: you mean that cosplay cafe across the street?

Lord Grim: ...

Dancing Rain: omg are you in cosplay rn???

Lord Grim: ...

Dancing Rain: im coming over

Lord Grim: dont.

Lord Grim: mucheng im warning you

Lord Grim: It’s an internet cafe. What if you get mobbed?

Dancing Rain: dw im good at disguises!

It turned out that Mucheng’s “disguise” consisted of a pair of glasses, a hat, and a face mask. Yup, real subtle Mucheng. Everyone was thinking that, but no one dared approach. Why would Su Mucheng even go to an internet cafe across the street from Excellent Era after all? When Chen Guo took her id card, she nearly started screaming, but was quieted by a wink and shushing finger sign. Through the power of fangirling and selfies, Mucheng was able to obtain the whole second floor to herself, as well as Ye Xiu as her personal server. He was currently dressed in a simple school blazer with a blood red wig. Mucheng was snapping pics of him left and right.

Ye Xiu sweatdropped. “You better not post these.”

“I know,” she said plainly. “These are for my personal enjoyment. Besides, I’m supposed to get a ‘special service’ with my ice cream. So keep still while I take more photos.”

Later Chen Guo dreamily asked him, “Hey, do you think Su Mucheng will come again? Should I build a private room for her? I should build a private room for her.”

Ye Xiu sweatdropped again. Hey, don’t ask me if you’ve already decided.

(3) Huang Shaotian

Tang Rou thought that Huang Shaotian was a creep when he showed up outside around 10pm and covered in scarves, so she went to go get Chen Guo.

“Old Ye!” He whisper yelled, tiptoeing through the door. “Where the hell are you?”

Ye Xiu poked him in the back and the blond puppy jumped five feet in the air. “I’m right here.”

“Shit! You’re Old Ye?!” Huang Shaotian spluttered disbelievingly. To be fair, Ye Xiu was crossdressing, but you’d think that Huang Shaotian would have noticed him.

The short flouncy skirt of the black and white school uniform dress along with the mismatching colorful socks showed off his mile long legs wonderfully, and the orange wig with green highlights had pigtails that framed his handsome face. He was taller than a real girl, with slightly sharper angles, but all in all, he looked really good crossdressing.

“How could you? After all these years of friendship, you’ve forgotten me so soon?” Ye Xiu said in mock sadness.

“Nononono! That’s not it at all! I haven’t forgotten you though maybe I should seeing as you’re an old man dressing up as a girl that is not that you’re some creep or anything but just that you’ve retired and such but I promise I haven’t forgotten you after all you’re probably my best friend after Captain and all of the Blue Rain players and - Hey! Why are you leaving?!”

Ye Xiu turned in the general direction of the word explosion and shrugged. “It’s the end of my shift. I’m going to change.” And he sauntered off toward the back room to change into more comfortable clothes.

Shaotian sneakily grabbed his phone to snag a picture. He grinned down at the photo evidence of the battle god crossdressing.

“There he is, that’s the creep!” Tang Rou had come back with Chen Guo in tow.

“F-shit! I’m not a creep! That Old Ye invited me!”

Chen Guo and Tang Rou looked at each other.  A stalker?

“I’m going to have to see your ID.”

Some selfies and monetary transactions later, Huang Shaotian and Ye Xiu were in the private room running through the plan on the boneyard record.

“Hey Old Ye, it says that if I order some food, I can get special service. I’m going to make you PK with me!”

“Not happening.” Ye Xiu refused plainly.

“Why not?! PKPKPK!”

“Because it’s not my shift.” Ye Xiu wasn’t obligated to do anything for anyone right now. He was also tired after a long day taking requests from customers and didn’t want to deal with Shaotian’s shit right now. The boss had also given him a strict bedtime of 1am at the latest and he wanted to get in all of his dungeon runs before then.

“...”

Ye Xiu suddenly felt a chill down his back. Shaotian being silent? Never a good thing.

The next day at 4 pm.

“OLD YE!” A blond fluffball came flying at Ye Xiu. Ye Xiu tumbled to the ground under the unexpected tackle.

“Oh god.”

“PKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPK!”

Six hours later...

“Boss, please kick him out.” Ye Xiu was disheveled and exhausted, pale and looking like he was about to collapse.

Chen Guo paused from counting the money Huang Shaotian had spent on reserving the private room and repeatedly ordering food with service for 6 hours. “....Hmm? What did you say?”

(3.5) All Star Weekend

“Ye Xiu! You’re really Ye Qiu?”

“...Yes.”

“Dammit! We should have charged Huang Shaotian more!”

“...”

(4) Ye Qiu

For the Lunar New Year, it turned out that Ye Qiu had found out he had retired from Excellent Era and was now working at Happy.

“Brother,” he tutted, “Come home for New Years. Do you even have a place to stay?”

“I’m going to work over time!” He just wanted to avoid going home over the holiday and play Glory all day.

“Fine, then I’m going to stay too.”

“Go home little brother. Unless... the boss has been wanting to do twin cosplays...”

“Happy New Year, I have to go attend to mother and little dot! Let me know when you’re coming back already! Bye!” In a flash, Ye Qiu was out the door.

Chen Guo came out of the back room holding a box of costumes. “Why did he leave? I had the cutest matching cosplays for you two!”

(5) Yu Wenzhou

“Captain Yu! What are you doing here?” Ye Xiu was so surprised to see Yu Wenzhou turn up one day that his half and half red and white wig almost fell off.

Yu Wenzhou was disguised in naught but a pair of dark sunglasses. Since Huang Shaotian had turned up the other time, more and more Blue Rain fans had been coming to Happy to see if they could catch a glimpse of their idol. Seeing the captain himself, of course some Yu Wenzhou fans crowded around to see if they could get an autograph. But as they approached, suddenly an ice cold aura appeared, and the fans decided it would probably be a good idea to back off.

“Hello Senior.” The blue-haired captain greeted amiably. “I came to see you in your new place of work.”

A slender hand came up to readjust his wig. “... I meant, how did you find me here?”

Yu Wenzhou smiled and merely handed him a thick wad of cash. “Let’s discuss this in the private room, shall we?”

So Ye Xiu led him up the stairs and Yu Wenzhou explained over coffee and biscuits. “Several weeks ago, Shaotian disappeared after the match with Excellent Era, and later claimed that he wanted to stay in Hangzhou for an extra day to visit family. He has no family in Hangzhou, so of course he must’ve been visiting someone other than family. He clearly lied about it, and as such it couldn’t have been anyone he would publically visit.”

He took another sip of his coffee. “The night he disappeared also happened to be the day the boneyard record was broken by Lord Grim and a swordsman Flowing Tree. Lord Grim is infamous in the tenth server with his technical skill, and he started in the tenth server around the time when you retired. Of course, I had a sneaking suspicion it was you, but Shaotian’s disappearance confirmed it. When he returned after his one day visit to ‘family’ he was in a surprisingly good mood and kept snickering at his phone. Naturally, I confisticated it and searched through the contents. Did you know he had this picture of you on it?”

He held up his phone and Ye Xiu saw that there was a picture of him crossdressing, shot from the back as he walked away to change clothes. It was slightly blurry, as it was dark, and Ye Xiu was surprised (but not that surprised) to know that Yu Wenzhou could recognize him even though the view was from the back and he had been in costume.

“That little brat!” Ye Xiu exclaimed. “Who would take advantage of such a good-looking guy like me, taking pictures of me on the sly?”

Yu Wenzhou put the picture away, ignoring the self-proclaimed ‘good-looking’ god. Ye Xiu noted that he didn’t delete the picture though. Wenzhou continued with his explanation. “When I saw this, I knew immediately that Shaotian had not gone to visit family but had rather gone to visit you at your workplace. A quick search of cosplay cafe and Hangzhou turned up this place. Did you know that this is the only cosplay internet cafe in China?”

“...Your deductive work is too scary Captain Yu.” Ye Xiu sighed. “So what did you hope to gain by coming here?”

Yu Wenzhou gave a little smile. “I was hoping to perhaps chat about some tactics and maybe play a match or two.”

Ye Xiu cracked his knuckles and began stretching out his arms in preparation. “It’ll be 100 yuan for each match, and you’ll need to buy food for any other requests.”

Yu Wenzhou tilted his head. “Hmm?”

“Boss’s rules.”

“Ah.”

(6) Zhang Xinjie and Han Wenqing

When Han Wenqing and Zhang Xinjie came to Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe one evening, they didn’t even bother disguising themselves despite being in the midst of Excellent Era territory, in fact, literally across the street from their so-called rivals.

A whisper chorus of boos echoed up from the computers. The quiet protest was quickly vanquished with the signature Han Wenqing GlareTM, resulting in the offenders groveling on the floor, offering their wallets as penitence.

All the commotion brought Chen Guo over. She reflexively wanted to jump back when he turned his gaze to her, but she held her ground and offered, “What can Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe do for you today, God Han, God Zhang?”

“Where’s Ye Qiu?”

Zhang Xinjie smoothed out the conversation. “We would like to rent out the private room and talk with Senior Ye if possible.”

“It’s 200 yuan per match and you need to order food for any other requests. The private room has a lock. Ye Xiu can let you in.”

Han Wenqing picked up a wallet off the floor, and dropped it on the counter, much to the dismay of one unfortunate booer.

“Yo Old Han.” Today Ye Xiu was dressed in a cute sailor themed idol costume with a long dark colored wig. He gave a mock salute. “Never thought I’d see the two of you here in a cosplay cafe in Excellent Era territory no less.”

“Never thought I’d see you here crossplaying at an internet cafe across the street from Excellent Era after having retired no less,” the older player spat back.

“Let’s go upstairs and fight in the arena instead of in the lobby, Captain, Senior.”

Ye Xiu laughed and led the two of them to the stairs. “You first.”

Zhang Xinjie, feeling that it was out of character for Ye Xiu to be polite asked, “Why don’t you go first, senior?”

“Gasp, Xiao Zhang! How perverted! You want to peek under my skirt as I go up the stairs, don’t you?”

Xinjie turned all shades of red and blurted, “That wasn’t it at all!”

Han Wenqing was not amused. “If we wanted a peek we would just lift it up. Now show me that unspecialized character of yours.” He began pushing Ye Xiu up the stairs.

“Ooh how brazen, Old Han.”

(7) Tiny Herb

Business at Happy was booming. Not only was Chen Guo obtaining more business from users hoping to see their favorite pro player, but she was able to charge the visiting pro players exorbitant amounts and they would gladly pay to play with Ye Xiu. Using the extra money, Chen Guo was able to upgrade the private room upstairs to include a full row of new computers and a comfy couch and coffee table.

The upgrades were a good investment. How else would the entire Tiny Herb pro team be able to fit comfortably into the room?

“Order whatever food you want. The club will pay for it. Don’t forget to think of your requests. You can ask him to do anything reasonable, so make sure you learn from this opportunity.”

“Yes Captain!”

Ye Xiu sighed. Today he was wearing a black and white sailor style girl’s school uniform, along with a short brown wig and white cap. He also had a staff and a stuffed animal to complete the cosplay, but they were too annoying to carry around while playing. “I left Excellent Era so that I didn’t have to be a training partner...” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that senior?” Wang Jiexi blinked his uneven eyes.

“Nothing, nothing. Just a reminder that it’s 300 yuan per person per match and that I require a break between matches. Oh, I know. While you’re waiting for me, you can fight Xiao Tang. I’m coaching her!” He gave a big thumbs up.

The whole ordeal was like one huge party with food and fun and Glory. Tang Rou despite getting utterly smashed bravely continued to fight, earning the respect of Tiny Herb. Ye Xiu then proceeded to crush them all in return. It was a bit depressing to think that all of them combined had still been trounced by a single guy dressed like an elementary school girl.

“Thank you Senior Ye!” exclaimed one Gao Yingjie on the way out.

“Yes. Thank you for your guidance Senior Ye. I hope to be like you someday.” echoed Qiao Yifan.

Ye Xiu patted both on the head. It was nice to see rookies with such enthusiasm. “You two have a lot to learn, but you also have a lot of potential. Keep working hard. And Yifan, why don’t you think about what I said?”

‘Why don’t you try out a Ghostblade! It would suit you!’ Yifan kept thinking of this phrase over and over again walking out of the internet cafe, such that he almost bumped into Chen Guo.

“Woah! Careful there.” She steadied him on his feet. “You know, you’re pretty cute.” Chen Guo handed Yifan a business card. “If you ever need a job or even a side job, you should contact me! I have some cute cosplays that would be perfect for you!”

Yifan almost choked. When he said he wanted to be like Senior Ye, he didn’t mean it that way!

(8) Jiang Botao

“So what brings you here by yourself?”

“Senior Ye! Please grant me a request!” Jiang Botao bowed deeply at a 90 degree angle.

“No need to be so formal,” Ye Xiu laughed. “As long as you buy something from here, I’ll be willing to hear you out.”

Jiang Botao ordered a What a Big One ice cream cone. “Sooo...” he started nervously, “ummm.... Please... Allow me to record a message from you to captain!”

“Oh? To Xiao Zhou? What would you like me to say?”

“Please say, ‘Zhou Zekai, Jiayou!’ a-and then umm, please blow a kiss!”

“Hoho? Well, alright get your camera ready!”

Jiang Botao aimed the camera at him portrait-wise, making sure to capture the full picture of Ye Xiu in a purple accented swimsuit and blue and white jacket covering his shirtless torso. He didn’t need a wig this time, but settled for some styling with gel to achieve the character’s likeness.

Ye Xiu grinned, not caring that it was out of character for the cosplay. “Xiao Zhou, Jiayou! Keep working hard!” He winked saucily and blew a kiss.

Jiang Botao was so grateful he kept thanking Ye Xiu over and over again and insisted on giving him extra cash. “For the wink! Please keep it for the wink!”

Later...

“Captain! Please make an effort to connect more with the rookies! They’re all intimidated by your silence!”

“...”

“If you coordinate well with them and get into the playoffs I’ll give you this!” Jiang Botao pressed a button on his phone, playing the video.

“Xiao Zhou, Jiayou! Keep working hard!” *Wink* *kiss*

Zhou Zekai stared at the little screen. “Want... Senior...”

“If you want it, please make an effort to get along!”

Zhou Zekai nodded emphatically.

“If we do well this season, we can go visit him later!”

Zhou Zekai was already walking out the door.

(9) Happy

“God Ye! Is it true that you initially worked as a staff member for Happy Internet Cafe?” Cameras flashed during the press conference following the Challenger League.

Chen Guo butted in, “It’s Happy Cosplay Internet Cafe. Get your facts right!”

“God Ye! Is it true that you engaged in crossplay?”

“It’s not that bad when you get used to it! Besides, my boss says I should show off my ‘legs for days.’”

“God Ye! Is it true that the other members of Happy cosplay as well?”

Chen Guo again interrupted. “At this time I would like to announce the limited edition release of our new cosplay photobook. It includes both group and individual cosplay photos of all of Team Happy. This limited edition will also include a section of Captain Ye’s best cosplays and a new cosplay as One Autumn Leaf. The photobooks will be on sale starting at midnight tonight and will cost 800 yuan. Proceeds will go to the development of Team Happy and also Ye Xiu’s costume repertoire. Thank you for your patronage.”

All the reporters gossipped among themselves. The males complained it was way too expensive, more than double the price of other costume books, but were quite sorely tempted by the One Autumn Leaf photo. The females wanted to see those legs for days.

The clubs were some of the first to buy the books when they came on sale. When questioned why they wanted to help the enemy the teams merely said, for research. Yeah, for research.

And so, Team Happy became the most influential team in the alliance for the sole reason of Ye Xiu fangirling.

//End notes:  *sweating* Yeah this totally fits the prompt. “Ye Xiu has retired from Glory and departs Excellent Era but doesn’t head to Happy Internet Cafe and become a night manager.” Hahaha *runs away*//