#i guess i fuckin am NOW???
Text
how am i supposed to live laugh love under these conditions
tldr for tags my mom found an old journal of mine and read through it so i accidentally outed myself to her lols
#might be a vent in the tags jsyk#but brooo i had this journal when i was 14-15 and my MOTHER read it today because she Could (tm)#the journal in question was in a box in the storage unit that clearly had my name on it so she chose to open it and read through the journa#right so the journal in question had the name isaac on it and i am not out to her#i guess i fuckin am NOW???#but she hasnt said anything ab that. she def saw it tho. RIGHT on the cover#but no her focus was that i wrote that i. didnt particularly care for her when she lived with her boyfriend which is a WHOLE can of worms#but tdlr on him he kicked my brother and i out bc my brother used his phone past his bedtime. we were 13 and 11#and he fought with my mom + 11 yr old brother every night for like four years. which sucked a lil tbh#i dont know what she EXPECTED it to say#gonna be real im a little mad#because like girlllllllll you chose to open that box and then open that book and like that's mineeeee you cant just do that shit :(#i dont have to deal with it for two more days. am at my dad's house#i am fixing it with the power of ✨white out✨#WHICH I SHOULDNT HAVE TO DO. IT'S LITERALLY MINE#if i keep thinking about this im going to explode#vent#???#i think#ok update like an hour later. i read a little bit of the journal that she read and uhh SHIT.#girlie i wrote all THAT and you're upset because i wrote that i dont like your boyfriend??? okay
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Story About Him / A Story About Huntokar / Who's A Good Boy? pt 1 / Bedtime Story
like helloooooo can anyone hear meeee!!!
#Im still in the mud! Im still in the mud!#the username is MUDWOMB the password is MUDWOMB the website is MUDWOMB!#and the context of bedtime story alongside story about him?? what we know that story is now?? HHHH#personal#wtnv blogging#wtnv spoilers#not to sound like the kevin fans saying boo to a goose but.. huntokar!!!!!!#and they were guessing the name of god :^3#yes this WAS the first thing I thought about on waking up thank you :)#I fuckin love night vale gang I am sinking my teeth into this so hard
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh no I smoked too much weed and gave myself zoomies both from the excitement from my new peak pro and the excitement from the new weed itself and def smoked way more than I should have and probs will continue to smoke more than I should because of this double dose of excitement until I finally just pass out after days of hardly sleeping recently lmao
but ANYWAYS before that happens !!! I currently have the strongest urge to go wreck people in fucking battlegrounds to level one of my assorted disc priests and because like …. ever since I got 100k honorable kills achieve, I’ve wanted that goddamn fucking ‘the Bloodthirsty’ title from the 250k honorable kills achieve and I was farming that before I stopped having the drive to game a few months back.
so let’s see how queues go at 2am on a fucking Wednesday morning, I wonder if I’ll give up before I find a bracket with fast pvp queues tonight tbh. it’s more likely I’ll end up pugging a raid on my mistweaver main if it takes too long to get into a battleground just to preoccupy myself for a bit and try to get a chance at trinkets and shit lmao
#this is huge tho I haven’t WANTED to game enough to drag my laptop out and play in MONTHS#I logged in for the first time in ages the other day and I had so much fun in my battlegrounds I didn’t even realize we were winning#I was just having a fucking blast being a healer and a menace because I’m playing a disc priest rn of course lmao#and now I want to game again so bad but like mindlessly and bgs are mindless to me I guess???#like they’re so easy and all muscle memory and hardly take any thought so I think I could function enough to fuck some people up for a bit#or raiding Amirdrassil on LFR or normal. also pretty mindless even when pugging groups and all that.#everything’s usually one shot one kill or like 2 shots per kill max because people learn from their mistakes !!!#but like as a healer I know my shit so it’s just mindless (except for Larodar ((MY BELOVED)) because I LOVE that fight and get super into it#his dialogue is just too fuckin good and the voice??? truly chefs kiss like perfect voice casting#almost as fantastic as Sire Denathrius tbh and that’s like the big vocally satisfying one for me LMAO#this tag rant went on a wild roller coaster what the fuck I am so sorry for anyone who read these#I’m trying to read them back and I can’t even understand my fucking thought process LMFAO
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Local owlbear, what she gonna explodee✨
#neopets#neoart#vandagyre#not technically an oc but it is an original design i guess lol#Same with the ogrin I'm starting to open my eyes to these fellas#i used to hate them but i think its just the neo designs lol#Also this technically was a practice to see if I ended up making one of my real OCs into one#but i just settled into a classic eyrie#and i wanted to finish this sketch cause i really liked the pose lmfaoo#I don't.... think I'll be using this for anything??? just wanted to draw an alquemist vanda for my scrungly soul#anyways it takes me stupidly long to finish drawings maybe i should stick to some doodles here and there#vin doods#forgot the tag woops#also stole the green colors from mneo as well cause they're easier on my eyes and the drawing LMFAOO#i want to thank all the likes and reblogs once again though!! it's so heartwarming whenever I open this site i see some notifs :D#i am working on my characters lore but oh god please take the keyboard away from me i write so fuckin much HHHH#ok too much rambling you can stop reading my thoughts now haha
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
How dare he release a banger cover of one of my favorite songs ever at 4am where I cant yell, I hate him so much why
#im laughing so insanely rn i love this so much#i am actually losing my mind but like in the best way possible#also he's speaking/singing Japanese again & bros still p good it since haiku#don't have an official translation & im gettin it from discord but its a more worded version of “hurt people. hurt people” basically#i don't wanna fully state it cos i do not know the language & someone who's smarter than me can do that#but still cool to know#anyways I'm exploding now goodbye#hey hey did i ever mention i love saxophones#cos guess what i love saxophones#these songs are gonna have a LOTTA saxophone in it#also the screaming tho?????? fuckin losing my mind rn dude#my Spotify will never recover from this#chonny jash#moss post
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
i would really like to see a canadian team win the stanley cup, but all i have to root for is toronto edmonton and vancouver :/
#i Was rooting for winnipeg but they’re out now#they got fuckin ass-blasted by colorado#i guess i’ll root for the leafs? i highly doubt they’ll win tho#maybe the canucks too#not edmonton tho. anything but edmonton#i’ll destroy the entire state of colorado if the avs win#as a red wings fan i am morally obligated to hate the avs#tea time!#a royal outing to the polo grounds!
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i literally could not have thought I would care less about this poll. but now people are picking The Wrong Option™ and Apparently I Have Opinions On This Now
#*screams into pillow*#I SHOULD LITERALLY NOT CARE????#I USE THEM BASICALLY INTERCHANGEABLY???? DEPENDING ON THE BIT???????#AND NOW I AM SOMEHOW UPSET????#ABOUT THE CONJUGATION???#OF FUCKING *Y E E T*?????#SO LIKE. FUCKIN RIP I GUESS#I SAY AS MY SOUL IS FUCKING YEETED/YOTE INTO THE ABYSS
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
just threw up for the first time since maybe like 6th grade i forgot how awful that feels omg
#so fuckin violent too goddamn#im okay now btw that was just super weird lmfao#i am however very scared of burps rn tho i dont trust them#i dont wven know why i threw up tho#im guessing its the frozen pot pie i had maybe the chicken was bad idk but thats never happened before#also frozen chicken isnt supposed to go bad lmao#at least my tummy ache is gone HAHAH#not a fan of stomach bile tho AHAHA#im really only sad about it bc it broke my streak of not throwing up for years on end lmfao like it was going good for a WHILEEE
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
under the influence is 80k words in total today...
#that's 46k for chapter two so far and 34k for chapter one#and I just finished the first seggs scene... moving on to the second one now...#100k soon???#oh god no#I don't know if I have 20k words of aki sex left in me LOL#100k is probably a little tooooooo long#it's long enough as is#truthfully... I'm putting in a lot of effort...#but I worry maybe it's just too long or will be boring...#I worried about that a lot with the first chapter but I was pleased to see people enjoyed it#I guess it's definitely not for everyone though...#every time I read through what I wrote I'm like#damn you'd have to be a whole new level of insane for aki to read this many words of you getting it on with him#and then I remember I wrote the fuckin thing#and then I remember I am in fact that insane
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Health paranoia is annoying as heck. >_>;
#am I 70% certain that half of the sensations I’m experiencing are just fuckin’ anxiety?#yes#does the fact remain that my back and arm have been painful and/or numb off and on for a while now#and that just now I felt properly lightheaded for the first time since my med change?#also yes#(the arm/back bs is real and I have an appointment tomorrow.)#(the lightheadedness is SUSPICIOUSLY precisely timed with me worrying about heart attack symptoms 🙄)#edit: 98% certain. shockingly I felt fine after being distracted for 10 minutes. who could have guessed!#arm and back are still v unhappy though. so. yeah. appointment tomorrow I guess#life flails#health flails#complaining#my stuff
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
feel so stupid crying abt my ex!!!! but i am!!!!!
#i wish i could just. oh wrench some sense into my stupid stupid heart#because she hurt me! she used me! & i think abt her & all i act on is this ridiculous softness#there's so much anger when i position the scene rationally! but no. as soon as i consider her... think of being near her#my will just evaporates & i guess that hurts me more. knowing how goddamn doggedly soft i am#& always goddamn will be?? thought maybe id have a better hold by now#i deserve better. i do. but my heart fuckin quails & weeps & flips toward her. resolve boiled to nothing#bitter bitter feelings washed over by this achingly tender front that i can never pry out!!#okay im normal again
98 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why do so many psychiatrists love to gaslight. Okay, Hannibal Lecture.
If I had a nickel for every time a psychiatrist straight up told me lies I would have too fucking many and that's a problem.
#like first a psychiatrist tells me my seizures r psychological BECAUSE of my history of Forbidden Disorder and anxiety#and then they get worse and its clearly epilepsy and im on meds now and my condition was neglected bc a misdiagnosis based on stigma#and then now im like hey so i am still struggling with Forbiden Dissociative Disorder can i get some resources or a mf therapist rec#and this psych straight up tells me DID isn't a diagnosis anymore (I FOUND NO EVIDENCE OF THIS CLAIM BTW)#AND tells me my amnesia is bc of seizures.... LIKE I LIVE IN MY BODY AND U HAVE LITERALLY ONLY SPOKEN TO ME VIA PHONE#IDK I THINK I KNOW MYSELF A LITTLE MORE THAN YOU DO FUCKING JEFF#and i know the mf difference between switching and and HAVING A SEIZURE like???#those r very different things. like ik theres different kinds of seizures but for ME theres just no comparing theyre 2 different things😭#there is a clear difference between me collapsing and becoming unresponsive on the floor like a fish outta water#and me telling people to call me a different name and having completely separate identities that others notice. and i cant remember#and like ive dealt with it all long enough that I'm aware and can communicate w my alters n stuff and i have to to function#and for YEARS since highschool its been like. i talk to professionals and theyre like hm yea u basically would meet all requirements#however u might as well not get diagnosed bc no one wants to deal w that.#LIKE IVE LITERALLY BEEN TOLD THAT MULTIPLE TIMES ALMOST EXACT WORDS#and i hate how i know fake claiming being a public thing has rlly fucked w peoples perception of did n stuff#idk im so fuckin pissed man. reverting to my will graham era i fucking guess
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Man.
#First site I used to watch Dungeon Meshi stopped uploading episodes after the third one#other site I used to watch shit didn't have it at first but only just today got it#but only the first three episodes#smh my fucking head now I gotta go fuckin hunt down a new site to watch it on I guess#Because brother I am being fucking evicted from my house I am not paying for fucking netflix#Pun's text Posts
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
There's been a sudden surge of people seeing and liking and sometimes even reblogging my art and I want to say I see you and I love you and I appreciate you so much where did you come from I love you I love you I love you
#HI WHERE DID YOU COME FROM I LOVE YOU#likely none of them will see this b/c no new followers but like STILL#hi??#where is this coming from what the fuck?#happy about it#just confused#I am a tiny littol art blog with not many followers#thank you for blessing me with your likes and reblogs#especially when there's tags in the reblogs#always makes me entire fuckin' day#shit I don't know what my tag for text posts is on this blog#it's fine#I'll go find it and edit this post#turns out the answer is I don't have a tag b/c I don't post textposts on this blog#oops#guess I will make one#uhhh#arrowhawk says things#that works for now
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I changed my mind. Hater behavior is undeserved, when it comes to works, & idgaf about holding creators accountable when their games are mid, anymore.
#em.txt#now i only care about how you treat your workers tbh#so there are still series i hate. but now I don't want to be mean to people who put time & effort into making shit#this is about post shift 2. people were too fuckin mean to Rjac for a game he made for free#& as a bitch who loves that game a lot i see your criticisms i understand. but you're not gonna be mean to him abt this#that fucking teen that held that interview & told him he needed to be held accountable for his mistakes. god#he made this shit for free across four years. what can happen in four years? what did he work through?#to deliver you a free game. even if you don't fucking like the game if you invite a creator on to talk about their works#you don't fucking talk to them the way uyeah did. shit was cruel & uncalled for.#this game is fucking good but it's forever going to be burried as a game that's complicated with weird tutorials#ps2 is fun. you should try it. if you don't get it -- ask. I'll answer any question at any time#i will vc you i will write a text doc -- whatever you want. more people need to experience this fucking game#it's compelling in a way few games are to me.#i can homestly only compare it to rain world but not for a reason that's overt & easy to explain. more in how it feels to play#rather than what you do.#man. idk. i gotta learn how to talk about shit i love without being mean now#this started because i was talking mad shit to my friends & it asked me to stop because i was downtalking something she loved a lot#& i realized this isn't fun for people. i thought we were having fun but tbh? I'm just a mean negative bitch#& that's not fun. that's mean.#i have to redo this character arc from when i was 13 because i guess I didn't learn it the first time around#cynicism doesn't make you funny or cool. it makes you mean & unfun to be around. finding kind things to say is tougher.#if you can present your criticism nicely then maybe you can criticize too#but that alone does not a good critique make & it definitely don't make you fun at parties#listen. i am still gonna be a bitch. but i am going to be less of one.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#I'm having anxiety for some reason which is an unfamiliar physical feeling for me#I do depression and my SISTER does anxiety we're the mental illness brothers you see#but nooo apparently she has lent me some anxiety or whatever#anyway I was feeling useless and kind of like shit about how I never do anything anymore#and never get anything done or help around the house or even clean up my own living space#so I just decided I was gonna get out of bed at three in the morning and sweep the whole house#which like. that's fine I guess#and I wouldn't sit down or take a break even when I wanted to stop because I have got to!! start fucking doing things I can't just#be a lump that complains and consumes resources all my life#but anyway that was a bad idea or whatever bc my hands and feet got real hot and red and now I feel like I'm gonna frow up#I'm laid out on the couch near the phone charger. save me phone charger. charger for my phone save me#so what do we think am I feeling unwell from the activity because I don't do the activity enough or because I am just unwell#last time I swept a large area AND mopped was less than a month ago#I. also had to lay down after that actually except I was at work#just laid across a row of seats like yeah just. gimme a fuckin second to necromancy myself here#anyway#I'm a lil anxious bc of my neurology appointment I guess?? it's either that or the Wellbutrin#OR a yet to be identified food sensitivity maybe??#I actually have no fucking clue I just have a bunch of ideas ranked by plausibility#I'm. a little dizzy and the nausea is mcgetting me#farewell cruel world it's been nice knowing u
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
krispiifloof
Jae 🍉
lucasmaurity-blog
Sem título
nightknightstuff
violence
masterredcrow
Master RedCrow
xcount-fagulax
Hailey waz here