#i guess i'm just in a funk

[northstarscowboyhat]

can we grown up frisk?

The kids all grown up...

(do not tag as ship)

[mechazushi]

Watercolor Memories

"And where are we at on the budget for the Research and Development Department?" Jozu Nogizaka, the Chief of Staff for Ariaka base asked from his seat at the conference table.

All the higher ups for the First Division were settled in one of the larger meeting rooms for the bi-monthly debriefing where everyone with an important job title get together to make sure everyone is on the same page. Not only was the Chief of Staff and his fellow associates there, but the Head Director of the Defense Force, Isao Shinomya. His assistant as well as Narumi Gen were there as well, with all three of them in different states of mental presence. The Director was listening as intently as he could, seeing as he had the most to gain or lose from a lack of communication from inside his cabinet members. Ebira looked to be following along for the most part, but any light that would normally be in one's eyes had dissipated considerably early into this drool meeting. Narumi, openly picking his nose with his feet up on the table, had certainly lost any and all interest in this communal interaction a while ago.

Which made it a good thing that he had enforced his decision to bring Kafka Hibino to the meeting with him. Not being one for paperwork, much less anything not related to the active takedown of kaiju threats, he usually got dragged along to these meetings by his second in command, Eiji Hasegawa. Recently however, the base had acquired the biological enigma that was Kafka and once they had deemed him not an immediate threat, they had run out of ideas as for what to do with him. They still weren't comfortable with him traveling outside of base, but had decided that he could at least wander around a few select buildings on the grounds as long as he had supervision. Not one to miss out on exploitative labor, Narumi weaseled his way into letting Kafka act as essentially a personal secretary.

Kafka didn't give it any second thought once he heard the offer since it let him outside of his small, barren closet he had to call a room. It became clear that he should have since most of what Narumi made him do had him chained to a desk piled with paperwork or had him running endless fetch quests for food around base. Still, Kafka went about it without complaint. It was either this or working out his room all alone, losing his mind from worry and baseless fear. Hasegawa wasn't too thrilled about this new arrangement since it meant that the strongest division officer to date just got to laze around more often, but he couldn't deny how Kafka's presence streamlined the paper processing and left him open to pursue actual second-in-command duties. It even worked out better in meetings.

All Hasegawa had to do was drag Narumi with Kafka in tow and go off to finish more important tasks. Kafka turned out to be incredible at note and record taking, so all he did during meetings was make an abbreviated list of important facts that he could rattle off to Narumi when he actually had the capacity and care to acknowledge them. All Narumi had to do was show up and look like he was interested... which was turning out to be the hardest task of all. As the First Division captain continued to look at anything else besides those in the room, Kafka just slid glances in his direction and sighed heavily at the patheticness of it all. Everyone here had made several attempts to correct his behavior, all to no avail. If anything, they've been letting him get away with it more now that Kafka was here to cover his attention deficit ass.

But even Kafka had to admit he was with Narumi on this. These meetings were soul-sucking. It took everything he had in him to keep a running tab in his mind about everything that was being decided on. Even then he didn't have to think that much harder as to how to frame his notes in such a way to make it easier for Narumi to understand at a glance. This left him with plenty of free time in between important bulletins for his mind to wander, and in turn his fingers as well. Kafka didn't get a seat at the table during these meetings and was forced to stand behind Narumi the whole time as he cradled a small tablet to write on.

Holding it in one arm meant he had to type with one hand, which he got impressively good at as the days went on. But since the sentences he wrote were so short, it left him standing there inactive for long periods at a time. Something that would eventually garner judging sneers from the other board members. To avoid these leering glances and an ever present fear of reprimand, he had taken up doodling in the margins of his digital notes. The notes app he wrote in had surprisingly adequate artist's tools that he could pull up and use alongside his typed notes. He, of course, deleted everything before he handed the tablet over to Narumi to read later, but the habit at least made him look busy during the more dull sections of the meetings.

It wasn't his first rodeo in dealing with digital media, but it had been a hot minute since the last time he could only work with a lower standard of equipment. He grew up playing around with the School's built in paint programs, but had eventually gone on to dabble in more advanced programs built specifically for mobile. Really, it just started as a way to kill time at work until he could go home and get a hold of his sketchbooks. What started off as glittering fantasies of being the best warrior known to man being put to paper, shockingly warped itself into anatomical studies of the monsters he butchered apart for most of his life. Once a pastime turned teaching tool had now reverted back to a simpler time. One of daydreams and recovering of memories not yet lost. Kafka drew the faces of those he shared the room with as warm ups, but would quickly find himself trying to draw those he wished to see again more prevalently.

It was a dangerous mindset to find himself in. He had a nasty habit of getting too caught up in how Reno would hold his head or how Haruichi would hold a drink to remember to focus on the words being said around him. To be stuck in the past was never good, especially when keeping your job meant concentrating on the present. In a sick sense of bartering, his mind came up with the solution of instead bringing attention to his past relationship to his ex-vice captain, Soshiro Hoshina. It didn't feel like they were together long, but the memories of their connection burned the brightest even in the darkest recesses of Kafka's mind. Their circumstances had changed drastically from the shrouded image of domesticity that they had gathered for themselves ever since the reveal of what lay dormant in Kafka's chest.

Hoshina was mad about it, that was for sure. Kafka had become so wrapped up in the idea of being loved by the last person he ever thought he deserved it from that he actively shoved his biggest secret under the rug. All just to feel one more day of tender warmth from his lover. Recent events had forced everyone's hands and fresh wounds had to be quickly patched with no real healing touch behind them. Hoshina still came to base every two weeks to train Kafka in Squadron Style hand-to-hand, but neither one made any move to bring up how the reveal seemed to cut down the trust that had been built between them. With the looming threat of another coordinated attack looming over everyone, it had been silently decided that it would have to be put to the side for now.

Kafka was desperate to say he was sorry, in any way he could. That he knew he should have said something earlier, damn the fact that their budding attachment to each other was about as stable as a newborn deer's legs. You don't hide the fact that you have an alien entity buried in your chest just because you want to see how far you can get away with courting above your military station. It wasn't just to see if he could either; He never viewed their love as something so empty and vain. Kafka more than looked up to him. Hoshina was the pinnacle of everything he ever wanted to be growing up. And that same person was looking back at him and telling Kafka that he had a chance; that he believed in him no matter how small that chance was. He wanted to be anything and everything that Hoshina could ever want to see in a partner, in someone that could stand by his side as well as Mina's. Hoshina loving him back was just a bonus.

Kafka just had to hope there would be a moment where he could put it all into words.

"Narumi, if you keep bouncing your heel against the table, I will not hesitate to assign you to janitorial duty for a year." Director Shinomiya gruffly commanded from his seat at the head of the table.

"It's not my fault you geezers are talking about dull shit. Losing my mind over here." Narumi groaned as he moved the offending foot off of the table, the movement snapping Kafka out of his spiraling misery.

"This "Dull Shit" as you so put it is critical for the defense of the nation!" Jozu declared as a fist bounced firmly on the boardroom table.

As Narumi began to engage in a battle of differences with the Chief of Staff, Shinomiya stole a brief look at the wall clock, "Tell you what. If you can tell the group what the last subject we were discussing was, I'll dismiss this meeting early."

"Uhhh... okay. Yeah, sure, I can do that." Narumi drawled as he was caught unaware by the proposition.

"The last thing we were talking about was..." Narumi chewed on his lip as he tried his best to think back to what the conversation was about in the first place. He threw several pleading glances back as a distracted Kafka before leaning back in his chair.

"Psst! Help me out here!" He harshly whispered, his lips almost curling into a snarl from how long it was taking Kafka to answer him.

Kafka fingers flew frantically over the screen as he tried to find the last place he left off in his notes for the meeting. As soon as he found it, he leaned down to Narumi's ear to whisper the answer back.

"We were about to move away from talking about the budget for the R&D department!" Narumi claimed with as much confidence as he could muster.

As everyone in the room glared disapprovingly for a moment longer than comfortable, Narumi began to direct the collective brunt of the glare back towards Kafka, who was visibly sweating buckets. A loud and disappointed sigh soon broke the uncomfortable silence before a creaking of a chair was heard from the head of the table.

"Meeting Adjourned." The director ordered as he stood up, the toll of the meeting now seen more clearly in the lines of his usually impassive face.

While everyone there would have gone on record stating that these meetings were important and necessary to have, it wouldn't have taken a trained eye to see just how fast everyone was leaving the board room. Even the Director let out a low gasp of relief, his sinking shoulders betraying his stone visage in the smallest way possible. Not waiting for more people to leave the room, Narumi didn't hesitate to drag Kafka out by the collar and pulled him out into the connecting hallway. Hoping to corner Kafka somewhere a little more private, he dropped his hand and sauntered away knowing his subordinate would follow closely behind. Narumi had long since caught on to Kafka's tactic of playing around with the tablet to give the appearance of being busy, but hadn't cared about it before now. Having almost been humiliated by the potential distraction made him wonder what could Kafka be doing that garnered so much divided attention. Once they had made a more comfortable distance away from the board room did Narumi start his investigation.

"Mind handing me the notes since you're still here?" The captain requested, starting his attack early. The sudden question made Kafka shake himself out of his fog of thoughts and fumble around with the prematurely dismissed tablet.

"Yeah, sure, give me a second." He answered back as he woke the screen back up.

"A second?" Narumi pressed harshly, leaning in to the irritated energy he developed back in the meeting.

"I-I just want to check for spelling mistakes." Kafka casually lied as a bead of sweat rolling down his temple, betraying his nerves.

"That's bullshit and you know it." Narumi countered as he made a swipe for the device in Kafka's hands.

"What's up with you, Mr. McGrabby Hands? Usually I have to print these out and staple them to your forehead in order for you to read them." Kafka retaliated as he had to dance around his commander, making painstakingly sure the tablet didn't fall into the wrong hands.

"Maybe I just wanna see what kinda shit you're doodling on company time." Narumi growled with determination as he tried every trick in the book to knock the tablet out of Kafka's hands.

"Pfffft, w-who me? I-I'm not doodling! I wouldn't do that!" Kafka sputtered as he cradled the device close to his chest while trying his best to erase all of the artwork he had scrawled in the margins of the pages.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Kafka. I would too if I could." Narumi continued to goad as he pressed himself as close as he could over Kafka's back, still in a battle for dominance over the hotly desired device.

"Here, here! Take it! Jesus..." Kafka shouted defensively as he tossed over the tablet into Narumi's surprised hands. Narumi took a moment scrolling excitedly, hoping that Kafka had missed a piece somewhere on the digital pages. His eager grim dropped quickly into a disappointed scowl once he was sure there was nothing incriminating to be seen.

"Told you." Kafka confirmed breathlessly, "Busy with spell checking, like I said."

Narumi eyed him distrustfully through his bangs as he stayed hunched over the tablet. His suspicions over his officer's habits had yet to be dissuaded, but he relaxed his shoulders and took ownership of the device nonetheless.

"Whatever. Anything you draw probably looks like dogshit anyway." Narumi teased maliciously, wondering what kind of reaction he would get if he did.

Seeing the ploy for what it was, Kafka made sure to keep himself looking unshakeable as he tried to stare down his current captain. Soon, the two of them heard a pixelated popping noise that was synonymous with the act of receiving a call over their government issued ear buds. Hasegawa's authoritatively dull tone soon filtered in with a slight crackle.

"Narumi. I request Kafka's presence outside in the West Quadrant. Is he available to do so soon?" The commander's right hand man asked, the sound of the wind unmistakable under his request. Narumi sighed irritably as he gave a long, hard stare right back at Kafka.

"Yeah. Meeting's over so he should be there soon." Narumi answered before he nodded Kafka away, signaling he could go.

Kafka silently bowed back and turned sharply on his heels. Narumi watched as he lightly jogged away at a clipped pace, clearly wanting out of his company. Making sure Kafka didn't come running back for any unknown reason, Narumi picked up the disregarded tablet once again and gave the note screen a thorough once-over. Biting the inside of his cheek, his eyes glanced over the back and forward arrow at the bottom of the screen. He took a chance and tapped on the button several times. His eyes grew wide as he watched the margins of the notes become jarringly splashed in broad strokes of color. Giggling manically to himself, Narumi ran off back to his office so he could study Kafka's colorfully intricate secrets in peace.

Fall in Tachikawa had brought a bitter chill along with the changing of the leaves. It came slicing in on those pervasive and penetrative winds, the kind that makes old men say "It wouldn't be so bad if not for the wind". Soshiro's brother often compared him to this type of weather, saying that if it wasn't for his blades, he would be easier to ignore and that it's more regrettable that he isn't. It was the type of weather that made every fiber of your body run for warmth despite it not being life threatening. Hoshina would have dove for a more welcoming form of warmth, one he had become intensely attached to shockingly quickly, but was forced to supplement it with one cheap glass of beer after another.

He wasn't normally a heavy drinker, not unless you counted coffee. Lately the nights after work had started to require something stronger than coffee and after dark training. Everywhere he walked, it was just another reminder of what he lost. Crumbling walls, cracks in the foundation, it all reminded him of Kafka. It almost felt like it was all taunting him. The cracks and crannies mutating into leering jeers, mocking and slandering him, saying he wasn't strong enough. That if he had taken Number 10 down faster, that the base would still be here, that nobody would have been forced to transfer, that Kafka...

Thus the alcohol. At least with something fermented running through his system, there was a chance Hoshina could redirect his brain to something less soul-sucking. When it was just mug after mug of coffee, all it did was make the thoughts churn faster and bring up every little problem he didn't feel like dealing with right now. With the alcohol, the thoughts were slower. Sure it was the same thoughts, but he could at least buy himself enough time and fake plausible excuses to make himself feel better. His first and most recurring thought being about his current coldness towards his most treasured cadet.

Kafka was a Kaiju...apparently. And he had somehow managed to hide any indication of this affliction during the six months they had been together. Hoshina was beyond mad about it -he was furious- but that feeling did nothing against what he already knew to be self evident about the both of them. Given a second to open his mouth, Hoshina knew that Kafka would spill apology after apology, be on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness. He would probably go so far as to say that he would understand if Hoshina would prefer to never see him again after breaking his trust so demonstrably. It wouldn't stop Kafka from trying anyway, just so he could have a chance to help Hoshina understand that he didn't do it out of maliciousness or genuine distrust. Hoshina had an idea of why he did it, but he didn't want to tear himself up over it any further by jumping to conclusions.

All he knew was that if he was given that same second, he would have cut Kafka's throat before he had a chance to speak. Yes, it was partly because that would be his sick idea of a fitting punishment for not saying anything about it sooner (It's not like he would die from it). But the bigger reason was that Hoshina wouldn't be able to hear Kafka even suggesting they separate over something so trivial. Well, it felt trivial to Hoshina anyway. Soshiro loved Kafka. Even as Kafka was being loaded into the transport, Hoshina had to dig into everything he had not to cut down anyone that would be in his way and drag his dopey partner off over the horizon to whatever sense of safety they could carve out for themselves. He wanted to forgive Kafka just as much as he wanted to forgive Hoshina, but God he was too damn prideful to let this go so easily.

It's not like they had any time to hash this out properly anyway. Not with the attack of Tachikawa Base acting as an indicator for worse to come. He went into his arrangement with Kafka knowing full well that what was being unsaid was going to hurt them both, but talking it out and trying to heal from what would be said would take up so much precious time that they did not have. All this arrangement was to Hoshina was a way to see Kafka one more time, to get to touch him one. more. time. This was his way of making sure that moving forward, Kafka had a chance to be safe, as well as keeping track of how he was feeling. After he explained to Mina what he was going to be doing every week, she wrote down a list of expressions Kafka makes and what they meant. Kafka wasn't just Kaiju Number 8 to the Third Division, and Hoshina had to work with what he could do to make sure Kafka felt anything but unwanted.

But by not saying anything, Hoshina couldn't get back the same treatment Kafka would return tenfold if he just asked. This was the one-sided, unspoken, understanding that sent him to the local bars most nights. He initially despised the the communal loneliness that seemed to permeated the atmosphere of these places, but soon found himself becoming a major contributor of the melancholy fog he once avoided. The dark wood walls offered a sense of artificial coziness while the bartender had a good sense of when to talk it out with a customer and when to just serve and leave. The man behind the bar never offered to converse with him, probably understanding with just a glance that Hoshina's problem wasn't something that could be solved with small talk.

So there he sat. Nursing a third mug of light draft beer and praying that memorizing the wood grain pattern in the mahogany in front of him will be enough to distract him churning mind for one more night. With his eyes crossing and his mind still not quiet, Hoshina quickly understood that he was fighting a loosing battle. With a tired sigh, he pulled out a last ditch effort seeing as he didn't feel fit to head back just yet. He pulled out his phone and began to scroll endlessly, the motions sufficiently rendering his skull numb.

It wasn't something he ever wanted to make a habit out of. He was always going on about how there were so many other tasks that could be done that were more beneficial than doom-scrolling. It made him sound like an out-of-touch senior, but he always stood by that sentiment. Well, before now at least. He hated to admit it but some nights it really was the only thing that could get him distracted enough to sleep. Hoshina pulled up Chatter and skipped over his For You page, preferring to look at more national headlines than anything the algorithm spat in his face. He had only scrolled for a short while before he came across a familiar account profile.

Narumi had had posted something earlier in the day and it was quickly making headway through the notarized list of most fascinating things showcased that day. Hoshina just rolled his eyes at it and quickly moved past it, not feeling like being exposed to whatever attention-whoring shenanigans that fool had cooked up for himself. A few articles later, he felt weirdly compelled to go back up and look at it with the idea that maybe he would feel better if he could glean some scathing retort to it. It might make Narumi's post more popular, but when he joined in the conversation, that just meant that it only drew in more attention because he chimed in. And some days that would be enough for him.

Scrolling back up however, Hoshina was blindsided by the subject of the post. Narumi had posted some art. Not only that, it was art that Hoshina recognized. Hoshina had spent so many hours leaning over the artist's shoulder, critiqued every little doodle that ended up on the bottom of incident reports, and had been the subject of many an artwork that it was impossible for him not to distinguish Kafka's deft hand on the digital canvas. Rounded patches of cool colors cascaded under crisp, but messy line work. Portraits were nothing more than organized scribbles, but the still life's were where Kafka really shined.

In the slim margins of what were clearly meeting notes, Kafka had managed to depict one of the managerial heads sitting across from him at the table, including the top of Narumi's head and boot in frame and in perfect point perspective. "He does not deserve to look like a Renaissance painting" was the caption of the post. Hoshina only caught the heading of the post as he accidentally backed out of observing the screen shots more closely. Looking around the edges of the post, he understood that what he was looking at wasn't even the original post. Clicking one link after another, Hoshina managed to dig around long enough to find the rest of the chain of posts, all talking about Kafka's art.

"My assistant is so cooked Dawg! Caught his ass doodling during a meeting!1!" Was the title to the start of it all. From there, it had devolved into a more serious critique of the art found. One post after another was about how accurate the details were. Occasionally, there was one about how stupid-looking a fellow defense force member appeared, but it just looped back around to the precision of it all. Hoshina wasn't surprised. After all he had the same reaction to the first time he had discovered Kafka's artistic talent. The memory bubbled up unbidden, causing Hoshina to sniff back a runny nose as he tried not to get swept away by his feelings. The memory continued to play in the back of his mind, projected onto the phantom screen hung in the back of his eyes...

It was an unseasonably warm day in March last year. Hoshina only had the new recruits for a few months now, but he was feeling like they were making lots of progress to breaking in to being the best soldiers of this generation. For a reward, the ground troops of the Third Division got to leave the base for a whole day. There was a slight caveat to this in that they were asked to turn out to a school spirit event, but none of them minded since it still meant they got to skip out on training for a day. In fact, it felt like they were more than happy to show up to the event and get the chance to inspire the next generation themselves. Some even went above and beyond, buying some cheap toys and candy to pass out. Kafka had gone out of his way as well and bought boxes and boxes of chalk.

Hoshina had been continued to be surprised by this man. Even still having only 1% aptitude for the suits, he continued to be a mainstay among the Defense Force. Once Hoshina made enough excuses for him, backed by Kafka's consistent information gathering while in the field, it started to feel like the Higher Ups just gave up and backed off. So what if one guy in their platoon only had 1% percent to spare? He was doing his best to earn his keep and with everyone else surpassing records previously held by earlier iterations of their platoons, it seemed like they could spare to have the extra hand around. Unfortunately, this did unintentionally classify Kafka as a mascot, but no one was going to offer the information up intentionally.

And it wasn't like the man wasn't doing anything to dissuade the mascot allegations. When Hoshina had finally cleared enough paperwork to come down to the school to let some of the other officers take off, he saw Kafka over in a corner of the school's lot looking like he was giving a very educational lesson. Dressed in cheesy vacation finery, that is to say an open Hawaiian shirt with a white tank and jean shorts paired with socks and sandals, Kafka had squatted down so he was eye level with his own congregation of children and was animatedly discussing something that had them all enraptured. Surrounded by buckets of chalk, Kafka was using one to illustrate something on the black top before them. Interest immediately piqued, Hoshina decided to slide on by for a visit.

Childish chalk drawings littered the lot around him as he made his way over, some appearing to have been abandoned halfway through. Looking over at where Kafka was, Hoshina could see a much more detailed drawing of what looked to be a fearsome battle of strength between a comically large Isao and a daikaiju. Just under it, Kafka had started up another illustration and was using it as a base for an art lesson in chalk. He talked in simple words, having to slow himself down in his own excitement several times just to make sure that the other kids were following along. He actively encouraged questions, surveying his grouping to make sure everyone had a chance to see and to understand. On his knees, Kafka leaned over his own makeshift canvas and was about to start demonstrating a new facet of art but suddenly stopped once Hoshina's shadow made his presence known before he opened his mouth.

"Wait! Don't move." Kafka said as he held his hand up without looking, "Don't move a muscle. Stay right where you are."

He took out a piece of chalk and began to quickly sketch the outline of Hoshina's shadow. One Kafka got all the way around his head, he started to sketch other details of Hoshina's face like his haircut and sly shaped mouth.

"I know that silhouette anywhere!" Kafka exclaimed as he finished his rough outline, "Vice Captain Hoshina! I was wondering when you would show up." He finished just as he looked up at his vice captain and flashed him the brightest smile he thought he would ever see.

The two of them exchanged pleasantries, but it was already too late for him. Once he knew of the way Kafka saw the world, Hoshina started to become more and more invested in all other aspects of him. Kafka's art was a gateway into his mind, and Hoshina didn't hesitate to walk right in. It looked so bright and hopeful on first impressions, but the more Hoshina hung around Kafka the more he would start to catch glimpses of things not being the case. Kafka stopped being just the funny man of the group to him after he found out about his talent. Much like other great artists, Kafka was as layered and as colorful as watercolor on canvas.

Thus began a months-long secret relationship with a man that was originally here off of pity and bias. Hoshina was thankful he could stop making excuses to keep him around at some point, because now it meant he could poke around at Kafka a little more. More intently, more personally. He always found Kafka fascinating from the get-go, seeing as his initial performance during the second test was surrounded with an air of secretive fascination, but that all fell away once he saw the shining facets of Kafka's mind. Hoshina felt he was no better than a crow some days, but the love and attention he received from Kafka just meant that he stumbled onto a gift that just kept giving.

Hoshina continued to scroll down the chain of posts, trying to keep himself from bursting into tears. Each new sketch, each scrawl and scratch of digital ink felt better than anything intense nostalgia could replicate. It was almost like a salve for his weary mind, an old childhood blanket that never aged a day, offering comfort and relief and sorely, much needed warmth. It had been so long since a hand-written scrap of love had graced his desk, Hoshina hadn't realized how much he needed them to continue his day. If snapshots of daily life at Ariaka made him feel bad, seeing any piece of Kafka's old life at Tachikawa made Hoshina's heart skip a beat.

Lungs hiccuping as he scrolled past happy recreations of outings long past, he wondered if he was going to be able to keep it together for much longer. It wasn't that he was embarrassed to be seen crying, it was more so with how he felt right then. He felt like he was too open, his heart becoming too exposed. Like a bonsai being harshly shaped and molded into a memoriam of what he and his division once had. A flash of blackish-purple and the side profile of someone's cheerful face finally broke Hoshina. Slamming the phone on the counter, he brought a hand up to muffle an unbidden sob. He hadn't looked long, but he knew Kafka well enough that it couldn't have been anything other than his most favorite thing to draw.

Grabbing his mug of unfinished beer, Hoshina took off running towards the restrooms, not wanting to garner attention from the smattering of people in the dive bar he was holding himself up in. Maybe it was the beer, maybe it was the forced drought of affection, maybe just seeing Kafka art was the last straw, but Hoshina found that he couldn't take it anymore. Hoshina had been forcing a facade every moment of every day he managed to get out of bed. Being in a shitty little bar at the end of the night might have allowed him to drop the mask a little, relieve some of the pressure that the mask had been holding back, but even the Vice Commander, Second to Mina Ashiro in power and strength, had his limits. Seeing that Kafka still thought of him as a muse was his line in the sand.

He slammed the mug down on the long row of sinks as he neared the other wall. Turning sharply on his heels, he fell back onto the teal painted, concrete brick wall as his knees gave out from under him. His brain felt warm, like it had been taken out of his skull and been manhandled under the hot sun for far too long. His chest felt like it was in Number 10's crushing grip all over again, which honestly felt preferable to having nothing to hold him in their arms right now. A part of Hoshina wondered if he was imagining his legs shaking or if he really was being that fucking pathetic; drinking alone, crying in a dirty dive bar bathroom, killing himself over his iron sense of pride. No part of him was delusional enough however to deny the boiling streams of tears falling down his tired eyes as they fell onto his tightly gripped phone.

With just one glance, the same comfort Kafka's art gave him rendered him a sopping mess. He was the one that told Kafka not to get attached to his team-mates, and now here he was, being reminded all over again as to why he should've taken his own advice. It was stupid, it was demeaning, and it was all his fault. Sitting here, on the floor of a place he never would have walked into before he met Kafka, one thought fought it's way through the tears and tinnitus and made him confront this one, now ever present fact about himself. Given the chance to start all over again, to have never been close to Kafka in the first place and had just investigated what he first considered to be a threat, Hoshina... wouldn't have taken it. Kaiju or not, Hoshina would never give that man up for anything.

And yet he did. Because if he really held true to what he wanted, Kafka would still be at Tachikawa, not halfway up the country in another base being placated with busy work because no one trusts him with anything important anymore. For the longest time, hell even to this night, Hoshina's mind continued to waver back and forth over whether or not he ever really had a chance to fight the powers that be. Whether he really could have helped Kafka to stay or if it all was genuinely out of his hands, then and now. Like any of it matters this late at night anyway. Beds had been made, but all Hoshina could do was wish to lie in the one he made with Kafka.

Well... as much as it killed him right at this moment, at least he had Kafka's art. Art was supposed to make people feel something anyway, right? This was just another check mark on the long list of incredible things Kafka was capable of. Taking slow, deep breaths until after the tears stopped, Hoshina prepared himself to look again. The pain of the memory was great, but forcing oneself to not feel anything was starting to be worse. Grabbing the glass of beer from the counter, Hoshina wiped the spilled tears off the screen and turned it back on.

It was just what he expected, really. The last two posts containing about eight images total were all just head shots of Hoshina with different expressions. "Okay, this is just embarrassing. Why is there so many pics of this schmuck?" Was the first post's title, a little rude but a genuine question for those unprepared for the full weight of Kafka's unyielding need to have Hoshina be his inspiration. He let out a small giggle as he took a sip of beer, remembering Kafka's weird obsession with scribbling out rough outlines of his face in the corners of anything paper-like he could get his hands on. Several pages of his notebooks dedicated to kaiju anatomy specifically were often signed with his face next to Kafka's name. Hoshina liked to tease him about it, calling it the new age version of carving initials into trees. Seeing the post sort of healed him inside just a little, knowing Kafka hasn't completely changed even with their undisclosed separation from each other.

The second post was where his tears started to threaten to fall again. It was still bust and head shots of Hoshina, but they all had a reoccurring theme of him in various stages of sleep. "I hate E V E R Y T H I N G about this... WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE ASLEEP?!?!??! I hope this is just some creepy stalker fan-shit on GOD." Was the title of the second half of the post. Again a... reasonable response, considering that their relationship was never public before now. Somewhere in the deep recesses in his thoughts, Hoshina had a feeling that this was going to come around and bite him in the ass, but being three beers in made it really hard to care about problems one couldn't immediately foresee. Sure made it really easy to remember the past, so it seemed. With every side angle, every illusion of light filtering over pale peach skin in every hastily drawn rendition of happy mornings past, Hoshina couldn't escape another trip down memory lane.

Kafka used to have a horrible sleep schedule, even while in the Defense Force. He was the type of person to fight every minute getting up once he heard the wake up siren due to staying up late at night studying. Hoshina was never going to admit this, but he was hoping he was going to have a chance to somewhat abuse his relationship status with Kafka and. . . encourage a slight change to the schedule. All for his own good of course. Can't continue to be a valuable member of the Defense Force if one isn't awake enough to contribute. Come to find out, Hoshina wasn't going to have to intervene at all once it was made clear that he didn't mind being Kafka's muse.

Hoshina caught on pretty quickly that Kafka was starting to get up earlier and earlier so he could sketch him at his most vulnerable. He hardly used paper medium anymore at this point, too much to drag around which made it obvious. He was the type of person that kept his illustrations close to his chest, not wanting to let others see before he was finished. Using his phone was just more convenient all around for him, checking all the boxes in all the right ways. As a birthday gift for Kafka, Hoshina went out of his way to get a hold of a phone that had a built in stylus. Every spare second Hoshina had to snag a glance of Kafka, was every second Kafka had his nose shoved in his new phone, scrawling away at it.

Which led to these precious moments they found themselves in while hiding from the world in Hoshina's room. Kafka had started to sleep with Hoshina at his place, working late enough into the night that everyone went to bed before he did just so he could book it over to his partner's room and stay with him until before morning. If anyone was to ask either of them why he went through so much trouble and risk, they both would jokingly answer that it was all for Hoshina's benefit because he runs cold and Kafka's practically a walking space heater. Really, it was for Kafka. That man would have spent all hours of the day looking and drawing Hoshina's face if anyone let him.

And that's exactly the view Hoshina woke up to most mornings. As his awareness slowly dripped back into his mind, he could feel his body was sprawled out at odd angles over his side of the bed. When Hoshina first joked about his plan to let Kafka stay over at his section of the barracks, he noted how oddly enthused Kafka was with the idea, but became visibly dismayed once the vice captain brought up how the two of them could never fit on his measly, military issued twin mattress. It wasn't long before Hoshina intervened with some supply orders and had a second twin frame and mattress smuggled up to his room. Snugged up against the wall with his pillow crammed under his broad chest, was Kafka; lying on his stomach and was most likely sketching another picture of Hoshina asleep and awkwardly positioned.

Hoshina did his best not to stir, knowing how easy it was for Kafka to break concentration when he was doodling. Keeping his eyes in that closed looking state, he continued to watch as Kafka chewed at his upper lip in deep thought as he was prone to do if he felt like he was struggling with a particular piece. Hoshina could watch him sketch his art all day if he could. The expressions Kafka went through as he worked told a story just as vibrant as his art could be. After watching his face contort from one of irritated concentration to comically restrained victory, Hoshina couldn't hold still any longer and giggled. Catching his muse awake, Kafka moved as if he was struck with a taser and instinctively tried to shield his phone from Hoshina's amused gaze.

"Come on, let me see!" Hoshina wearily droned with a smile, "I've been posing for you for hours." He sluggishly pulled his arm closer to Kafka's shoulder and gently massaged it, making it clear that he wanted to be closer.

Kafka let out a relaxed chortle as he complied and shifted just a little closer, "Uh huh, trying so hard to "pose" you started drooling for accuracy?"

"I do not!" Hoshina sleepily countered as he pushed Kafka playfully. The two of them giggled together as they liked to do, falling into that easy pattern of living that formed naturally when they were alone.

Suddenly not content with just a shoulder touch and a warm view, Hoshina slowly stalked himself closer to his bed-mate while staying under the thin sheets. He draped his nude form over Kafka's equally naked, prone back, slotting his hips over the lower officer's round ass and burying his face into the now super heated neck. Arms were nestled under the heavy frame as Hoshina took a long snort of Kafka's natural scent. He shifted back and forth a little purely for indulging in the sensation of another's heated being underneath him. Any and all thoughts Kafka had about continuing his daily morning sketches went flying out the window as he took the wordless affection with what was hoped to be a touch of grace.

'Seriously. Is there anything other than me in there?" Hoshina placidly asked once he finished absorbing Kafka's essence

"Kinda hard to say. You're always the most interesting one in the room." Kafka answered with a slight shudder, unintentionally exposing his neck at the languid tactility overloading his senses at the moment.

Nosing at the undefended area offered to him, Hoshina wiggled out an arm and took Kafka's phone from his hand. Kafka let it happen since Hoshina was probably one of the few people in this world he would let see such personal designs. His partner never had anything truly mean to say about his work, Even some of his more critical commentary was offered up as a joke which made it all glide down more easily. Those comments were only really applied to moments when Kafka was clearly not putting all of his effort into a piece, so in the end they didn't damage anything ego-wise. Some days it felt like Hoshina was the only person Kafka could get some genuine, reliable feedback, so it made him feel all the better that there was something he could do that occasionally impressed his commander on some level. Continuing to scroll through the list of drafts saved on his phone, Hoshina let out a concerning sounding chuckle at the volume of saved images that appeared to be about him.

"Geez, it's just one after the other with you isn't it?" Hoshina commented as he pulled his head out from behind Kafka's neck to look better.

"No no, keep scrolling. I'm pretty sure I have a few pieces that are different." Kafka challenged, now just as curious as to where those images went.

"From what, last year?" Hoshina jokingly asked as he looked at his lover more pointedly.

"Noooo, hold on. There's gotta be one that's more recent." Kafka answered as he took the phone back. He quickly scrolled the page back to the top and picked one from yesterday.

"Yeah, see? Some of these have multiple images." Kafka politely informed as he moved past a sketch of Hoshina drinking coffee and instead focused on a distorted self portrait.

"What even is that?" Hoshina wondered as he tried to lean closer to the phone.

"It's supposed to be a self portrait, but I drew it from how I look in your headboard. See?" Kafka said as he held up the image to the reflective metal bars that made up the back of Hoshina's bed.

"Oh, I get it now. Distortion practice?" Hoshina observed as his eyes flickered between the image and the inspiration.

"Something like that." Kafka confirmed as he pulled his phone back to search through the rest of his drafts for more evidence that he's not solely focused on his lover.

Hoshina let out a soft hum as he watched Kafka try to defend himself, "You know, now that I think about it, there was detail missing from that piece."

"Wait, really?" I mean, I thought I was doing well with the proportions." Kafka muttered as he went back to the sketch they were looking at first.

"See? Right there." Hoshina pointed to a spot on Kafka's shoulder in the image when it was pulled back up, "There's something missing."

"Really? Not to question you or anything- you're the one with a better eye for detail after all."

"Yep, this." Hoshina interrupted and swiftly bit down on the sensitive part of Kafka's neck where it met the meat of his shoulder.

Kafka sharply gasped as he accidentally bucked into the treatment, "God, you're a menace" He muttered lovingly.

"Hmmm, you love me for it though." Hoshina groaned back after he languidly lapped at the mark it left.

Kafka returned a kiss before continuing to move through image after image. As he watched, Hoshina found his various thoughts coming back to one central theme.

"Surprised you haven't started an art blog before now." He ruminated as Kafka pulled up another sketch.

"Used to, actually. On Chatter? Back in my late high school, early Monster Sweepers days." Kafka offered openly as he tossed an unimpressed look over his shoulder.

"You're kidding." Hoshina responded with genuine astonishment, to which Kafka shook his head no with an amused smile.

"Well show me then!" Hoshina cheered enthusiastically, shimmying impossibly closer to Kafka like he was settling down to a good movie.

"I-I-I can't do that!" Kafka retorted with the blush on his face quickly creeping back over his cheeks, "I couldn't remember the password if my life depended on it."

"You don't have to log in, you still remember your username right?" Hoshina questioned, now desperate for this potential snapshot of Kafka younger in life.

"I mean... yeah?" Kafka answered shyly, "God, this is going to be so embarrassing." He muttered before he closed out of his sketching app and opened up another one.

After several retypings in the quest to remember his old high school username, Kafka eventually came across the page after backtracking from someone else's old post. It was clear from the dated visual puns in the blog banner that it had certainly been a while before he had updated anything. They both cringed a little once they saw that it had been fifteen years since he had last updated.

" 'TheBestDEFENSEIsAGoodArtist'? That's your username?" Hoshina teased with dripping malice and astonishment.

"Look it was either that or something clever with Goromon. It was the last thing Mina helped me with before... well, you know." Kafka tried to defend himself, but any move to do so collapsed under the weight of the memory.

Hoshina noticed the way his face fell just that little bit and snuggled up closer as reassurance, "Probably for the best you didn't go with the second one. Probably would have confused a lot of people to come to your page and not see anything related to it." He mentioned as he squeezed his arms around his partner's chest.

"Well, it wasn't like there wasn't any Goromon fanart from time to time. Maybe if I did, I would have had a chance to be more popular." Kafka countered dolefully.

"What did you draw anyway?" Hoshina politely asked with both curiosity and gentle encouragement.

Kafka slowly scrolled down the page to let Hoshina take in the art. It was set to show from most to least popular, making it clear that a lot of people liked his funnier depictions of kaijus. Every once in a while, something drastically different broke up the timeline. There were several anatomical pencil sketches of kaiju bodies with various layers peeled away from them. From the skin to the veins, down past the muscle and right through the core of the bones, it was a study of raw power poised in a deathly still life. There were even notes and arrows that littered the borders of the page that pointed out something that couldn't be depicted through graphite lines alone. There were several and they all varied in quality, clearly bringing to light a growing talent.

A flash of color snapped at Hoshina's attention as Kafka continued to scroll past. Shooing his finger away, the vice captain took back partial control of the phone so he could see what that last image was. It was a digital rendition of one of the larger kaiju skeletons that continued to rage through the streets of Japan. What made this one different from all the rest was the fact that it wasn't just showing the skeleton, but the damage done to the surrounding buildings as well. Over all of it was a plush blanket of foliage, lacing its way over and under the long broken rubble and the now ancient looking remains of the gargantuan threat. It had set itself apart from the other productions of Kafka's mind, not only from its content but also from a still-fresh feeling of inexplicable melancholy. Such a bright picture should have told a story about new beginnings, but the only thing Hoshina could feel from this particular work was an odd sense of desolation.

"This one is quite different." He commented as he looked at it intensely, absorbed into the alien terrarium on the other side of the digital glass.

"Yeah." Kafka scratched the side of his head and sighed with bitter sounding heaviness, "Believe it or not, that is a vent piece." he continued as he pointed a quick accusatory finger at the screen.

"A vent piece?" Hoshina questioned.

He found it was an odd subject matter to use to depict intense negative emotion. Not only that, he had a hard time picturing Kafka illustrating something so calm and serene as an outlet for whatever turbulent emotion that could be concocting inside that thick skull of his.

"Yeah." Kafka sighed again as he took back ownership of the phone, "I drew this one after my... sixth? Attempt at joining the Defense Force."

He scrolled back up a little so Hoshina could read the caption over the attached picture.

"Just got out of the Defense Force testing lab again. Just gotta wait for an answer now, but I can already tell this isn't going to end well. Got a job interview with a kaiju cleaning department in a few days since I'm leaving High School at the end of the month, so lets hope that goes better!"

"Don't you think you were jinxing yourself a little with that caption?" Hoshina tried to jokingly ask, but it was clear that Kafka was stuck relieving his childhood blues.

"At that point you get a sense of what the instructor was looking for in their recruits. They don't really hide their preferences well, even when they're just glancing in your direction." Kafka answered dejectedly as he moved away from the image.

"After that, I had stopped captioning them. I didn't even bother giving them names." Kafka continued to scroll down his page, every once in a while another, similar piece of art made itself known.

He was right. None of them were captioned. He didn't know if it was intentional, but with none of them being named it seemed to add on to the sense of grief. It almost made it feel like these pieces were abandoned, which was not like Kafka at all. Failing time and time again in such a predictable manner would obviously break anybody's will, but the outcome of such torment had created these pieces. Now with context, these illustrations had ingrained themselves into Hoshina's mind. This was the first instance of him ever learning what a broken Kafka looked like.

"Here." Kafka quietly announced, "This is the last thing I ever posted to this account." He pulled up what looked to be the roughest sketch Hoshina thought he would ever see.

This looked more like a vent piece than any of the others he had seen along the way. Quick, harsh, and dark lines were strewn all over the limited space of the sketchbook this was depicted on. From what Hoshina could deduce, it was one of the larger kaijus with nothing remarkable about its appearance. The details would have come in later for sure, but it was clear that this piece never made it to that stage. From what he could tell however, was that this one had the potential to be one of Kafka's more disturbing artworks.

Buildings were flattened all around the corpse, cracked and broken apart like several city blocks had undergone a devastating explosion. The body was lying on its back, its limbs at unnatural angles. Its stomach looked more than exposed, more so that the explosion that leveled the buildings around it had been caused by whatever was inside the beast. It didn't look flayed, more so shredded and mangled- almost beyond recognition. While the others had been depicted with at least some sense of grace among the dereliction, this was far from it. This was agony and misery made pure and raw. Hoshina was almost glad that Kafka didn't finish this one. He hadn't known that his officer had such an ability to express such pain from just a bare-bones sketch, and he hoped that Kafka would never have to again.

"Told myself if I made this final test, I would finish it." Kafka's cold and stoic words broke the trance the image had held over Hoshina at that moment. "Not hard to guess what happened."

"You finally did make it though, haven't you?" Hoshina offered as a small token of relief against the unintentional strife he didn't know he would be causing that day.

The Kaiju Alert system went off before Kafka could give back an answer.

There wasn't a day that hadn't gone by where Hoshina had wondered if there was anything better he could have said in that moment. What even was there to say? Better late than never? You made it anyway, despite everything? He knew Kafka wouldn't take any of those as consolation. After all, Kafka still hadn't made it, per se. He wasn't by Mina's side like he promised all those years ago. It didn't help Hoshina was technically standing in the way of that, and that wasn't even getting into their unapproved relationship or the whole "Defense Force's New Kaiju Pet" situation. Even if it wasn't expressed through his art, Hoshina knew that it was probably still chewing Kafka up inside.

At least their current situation hadn't caused Kafka's art to revert back to his earlier standard of subjects. That meant that there was still something he was holding onto, some semblance of hope or light that managed to drag Kafka through each day. Which was more than Hoshina could say for himself. He couldn't show it, but he had long since lost any hope for a sign that things had a chance to go back to normal. That was just the case some days, having to adjust to what could potentially be a permanent change in schedule.

Hoshina really didn't want that to be the case. If he had any true, real power, he would tell the directors to shove it and have Kafka back at Tachikawa by morning. But he couldn't. The best he could do was arrange these weekly visits under the guise of training and nothing else, and that "Nothing Else" clause was what was truly killing him on the inside. Despite the pride, despite the resentment, he wanted to see Kafka again- really see Kafka again, Not just for training but to hang out and have dinner together again, to wake up together in the morning and rush out the door before anyone could question them again. The only thing stopping it all from continuing was time...

...Or was it? Looking back through the drawings showing moments from before everything went to shit, Hoshina started asking questions he had thought he had already answered but only gave slapdash, shoddy excuses as a stopgap for the emotions he wasn't ready to deal with. Yes, they didn't know how much more time they would have together, but most normal people would take that as an excuse to do everything they could to spend more time together. The real fact of the matter was, it wasn't Hoshina using a lack of time as an excuse to hold off having the one conversation that was the key to fixing his lack-of-a-relationship-woes. It wasn't just keeping up the excuse of not wanting to further complicate their already uncertain future. At the core of it all, Hoshina just didn't want to admit that he was a petty, prideful man.

Kafka being a Kaiju didn't bother him in the slightest. If anything, he would have probably have been milking that excuse dry to weasel his way around any potential hiccups that would be stemming from his technically inappropriate relationship to his subordinate. What really bothered Hoshina the most about this whole unfortunate situation was the fact that it felt like Kafka didn't trust him enough to tell him about his situation before now! It boiled his blood some days when he remembered that Reno and Kikoru both knew about Kafka's condition before he did. He was also aware of the circumstances surrounding how those two ended up finding out, but he always felt like he was dealt a similar opportunity and somehow that information was denied anyway. They were dating! They were serious! What do you mean Kafka never felt like telling him?

It wasn't until about a month into their awkward separation treatment that Hoshina stopped and thought about why Kafka held it back from him. Even if Kafka did trust him completely, there was no guarantee it wouldn't have made things worse. Kafka could have proven seven ways from Sunday that he could be trusted to fight alongside others, but there would always be doubt. Hoshina wouldn't have been able to offer any certainty to Kafka that the captains or the directors could be trusted with his unusual situation. Hell, if Kafka had told him in the earliest days of their relationship, there might have been a chance that Hoshina would have been the one to give his partner a reason to never trust again. Solely because of the pressure from his job, of course, but if push had come to shove then... Hoshina had a feeling that things would not have ended up as passively as they are now.

In the end, Hoshina had no right to blame Kafka or hold anything against him. At this point, the silent-not-silent treatment was purely because Hoshina's pride was wounded from the insinuation. Now that fire that kept his ruefulness going was practically down to the embers. Even the resolve to not be the first to apologize was dwindling. It became clear all of a sudden that Kafka was never going to be the one to apologize for withholding information because he follows Hoshina's initiative. If he's the one acting like it's not a good time to hash out one's feelings for each other, then Kafka will sit tight and hold his tongue until Hoshina makes any sort of indication that he's ready to listen. Kafka's just as good at respecting boundaries as he is following orders, but it certainly makes it harder on Hoshina when he knows he's the one at fault for perpetuating this purgatory he didn't mean to drag Kafka into.

Screw pride and screw pettiness, Hoshina was truly missing his man tonight and if the price of having him back in his was the cost of losing face, then fine. Having to eat his own words would definitely be a step up from wallowing in a shitty bar drinking shitty beer night after night. The beer would taste better with company, but in order for that to happen he'd have to find a way to open the door to a proper apology. He didn't want to make it feel like he was only apologizing because he was lonely, he really did want to be sincere about it. Problem was, he couldn't remember a time where he sounded genuinely sincere. In his line of work, if he was found to be wrong on something it would have cost him his job. And as far as being wrong in his friendships went, well... when everything comes down to a matter of opinion, one doesn't tend to care who's right or wrong then. This really would be the first time he would have to admit that he was both sorry and wrong.

As his hand unconsciously brought the near empty beer mug to his mouth, Hoshina came to understood that he wasn't even in the right head-space to come up with anything sincere, let alone sound like it. Looks like this was just going to have to be another problem for Morning Hoshina to work out among the other million problems he usually had to deal with. Most of those problems might just end up getting shoved to the side tomorrow. Once he figures out a way to get his Kaiju boyfriend back in his arms, a lot of those problems aren't going to seem so big after then. For now though, Hoshina just felt like milking whatever time he had allotted for himself in the bar, just savoring the crappy drink and watching the shit show Narumi dug himself into tonight.

By accidentally refreshing the page, he had discovered a fresh trail of posts linked to the chain he had already made. Turns out Narumi had started an argument with another professional artist over the quality of Kafka's boredom doodles, and in retaliation had tried his had at a self portrait. It looked no better than a child's pre-school scratches, but Narumi was trying to say that there was a basis for a new, hidden talent somewhere in the mess of scribbles on their screens. Hoshina just chuckled as he saw Kafka's fiercest supporter come to his defense in near-real time. He took a couple screenshots of the conversation with the plan to hold it over Reno's head later as blackmail. Might also become a teaching tool as to when and how not to feed internet trolls, who knows?

It appears that several other members of the Third Division also couldn't sleep tonight as the likes and reblogs of more, familiar accounts began to trickle through the now popular chain of posts. A lot of them had begun to openly theorize over whether or not Kafka actually knows his Vice Captain that closely or it's all just some imagery practice. If Hoshna wasn't under the influence, he normally wouldn't have started to develop this intense feeling of being out of the loop. If Hoshina wasn't under the influence, he wouldn't have started thinking about how funny it would be to stir the pot a little. If Hoshina wasn't under the influence, he would certainly have never acted on such invasive and impish thoughts.

Picking himself off of the bathroom floor and feeling like there was nothing to loose, Hoshina took a long look at himself in the mirror. Instead of reflecting upon himself and reconsidering how damning this could turn out, he defaulted to being the one thing he and Kafka understood all too well-

-the joy of becoming a class clown.

Taking inspiration from Kafka's continued use of his image and depicting it in any way, shape, or form, Hoshina decided to shed both his jacket and shirt and tossed them carelessly onto the bathroom counter. Chugging the last of the beer, he intended for some of it to leak down the sides of his mouth and spill slightly over his chest. Twisting and shifting under the bright florescent lights, Hoshina managed to find a pose that felt vaguely suggestive enough to his likeness and still looked tasteful enough to look like something an artist would use as a reference pose. Pulling up his camera and hovering it by the side of his head, Hoshina gave himself one more once-over before he took the photo. At the last second, he remembered some of the faces Kafka had sketched out earlier at the meeting, with one in particular being a portrait of him with his tongue playfully sticking out. A face he was sure done before as far as he remembered. Replicating the face, Hoshina took the photo and posted it directly to one of Narumi's older posts from this morning, one that was more directly related to Kafka and his obsession to his Vice Captain.

He posted it with the caption-

"Tell your "Assistant" that he can have his Muse back if he can promise not to cry into his sketchbook over it."

@margoteve <- felt only right to tag you since it was your headcanon about Kafka being an artist that caused this to spiral out of control.

@iceclew <- just letting you know I posted another story. I'll port a copy over to Ao3 later tonight.

@kafkahibinomybeloved<- you were probably going to find this on your own anyway, but I just thought I'd cut out the middle man.

[keeps-ache]

i'm tired, but it's not about you

[lanadelspray02]

HOLD ME ANYWAY: CHAPTER 20

paige x azzi

Hey guys, I'm sorry it took me a while to get this out. I honestly had a hard week, and I have sort of been spiralling a bit :/ I don't really like talking about my mental health, but I do suffer from depression, and I'm in a funk I can't seem to get out of. So, I guess this is me trying to be brave and say that if you ever need to talk to someone, don't be afraid to reach out <3 i know how hard it can be to ask for help but maybe we can help each other out!

Now, on another happier note, enjoy this chapter. Sorry, it's not the best, but the next chapter will definitely be better! <3

crossposted ao3 here

masterlist here

wc: 9254

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Tuesday Afternoon

Azzi hadn’t expected the knock at the door.

She’d just finished rinsing lunch plates, sleeves still damp, her brain still cycling through the same quiet swirl of thoughts that had followed her around all morning. Ruby was in the living room, legs splayed on the rug, Sparklehorn tucked under one arm while she coloured with deep, determined scribbles.

Azzi turned off the faucet and wiped her hands on a dish towel. Another knock came, louder this time, followed by a familiar voice.

“It’s us! We come in peace! But with snacks!”

Azzi furrowed her brows and stepped to the door. When she opened it, she found Caroline and Ines standing on the front step like they’d just wandered out of a sitcom. Caroline was holding a bag of chips, Ines had a shoebox stuffed with markers and glue sticks, and both of them were smiling like this was the most normal thing in the world.

“Hi,” Caroline said. “We brought art therapy.”

“And sugar,” Ines added. “One for your heart, one for your bloodstream.”

Azzi blinked. “You guys didn’t have to—”

“Exactly why we did,” Caroline said, brushing past her and into the house like she’d lived there all her life. “We figured you might be having a rough week, so we’re here to play backup.”

Ines followed, giving Azzi’s shoulder a soft squeeze as she passed. “We missed you. And Ruby. And Sparklehorn. Mostly Sparklehorn.”

“I’m… fine,” Azzi said, shutting the door slowly behind them.

“You’re allowed to not be fine,” Caroline called over her shoulder. “But either way, you’re stuck with us now.”

They reached the living room just as Ruby looked up from her spot on the floor.

She gasped like she was seeing celebrities. “Ines! Caroline!”

Ines dropped to her knees and held out her arms. “There’s our girl!”

Ruby sprinted across the rug and launched herself into a hug. “You came to my house!”

“We brought royal supplies,” Caroline said, kneeling down and flipping open the art box. “Paint pens. Glitter glue. Foam stickers shaped like cupcakes.”

Ruby’s eyes went wide. “This is the best day ever.”

Azzi lingered at the edge of the room, watching as Ruby immediately took charge. Within thirty seconds, she had Ines sorting markers by color, Caroline unrolling sheets of butcher paper, and Sparklehorn seated regally atop a folded towel throne.

“This one’s the dragon,” Ruby explained, holding up a picture with swirls of fire. “And this one’s Team Sparklehorn. It’s Mama and Paigey and me. And Sparklehorn’s our captain.”

“Obviously,” Ines said, very seriously.

“I want to draw a castle,” Ruby announced. “But you have to help me.”

“Absolutely,” Caroline said, already grabbing crayons.

As Ruby handed out assignments, she paused mid-command and looked between them thoughtfully. “Hey. What do I call you?”

Caroline blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Like… I call Paige “Paigey”, and Mama is Mama. But what do you want to be?”

Ines smiled gently. “What do you want to call us?”

Ruby thought for a second, tapping her chin with a glitter pen. “Can I call you Aunty Ines?”

Ines lit up. “I would love that.”

“And Aunty Caroline?” Ruby asked shyly, turning to her.

Caroline’s voice softened. “That might be the best title I’ve ever gotten.”

Ruby beamed, clearly pleased with herself, and leaned back into Ines’s side. “Okay. Aunty Ines and Aunty Caroline. You’re on my team now.”

Caroline bumped her shoulder gently. “We’ve always been on your team, squirt.”

“Team Sparklehorn forever,” Ruby declared, raising a marker like a sword.

Azzi sat on the couch, arms crossed over her stomach, trying not to smile too much. But she couldn’t help it. Watching them, Ruby so at ease, Caroline and Ines folding into her world like they’d always belonged—it filled some aching part of her chest that had been too tight for days.

At one point, Ruby crawled over and leaned back against her legs. “Mama, look! Aunty Ines is making Sparklehorn a crown!”

“I see that,” Azzi murmured, gently brushing a hand through her curls. “It looks perfect.”

“And Aunty Caroline is doing her makeup.”

Caroline held up a glitter sticker and stuck it to Sparklehorn’s cheek. “It’s a bold but classy look.”

Ruby giggled and twisted around so she was sitting between Azzi’s knees. “You can colour too, Mama.”

Azzi looked down at her, then at the pile of markers, then at Caroline’s glittered nose, and finally—finally—let out a quiet laugh.

“Alright. What’s my assignment?”

Ruby handed her a sheet of paper. “Draw the heart castle.”

Azzi took the paper and settled back. “Got it.”

And as the living room buzzed with colouring and tiny voices and bits of chaos, something in her chest unknotted. Just a little. Just enough.

She wasn't alone.

--------------------

The front door creaked open just after three.

Paige stepped inside quietly, easing the door shut behind her as she shrugged her backpack off one shoulder. She looked tired in the effortless, end-of-day kind of way — her UConn hoodie rumpled, sweatpants loose at the waist, hair twisted up in a messy knot like she’d barely managed it between class and the drive over.

She was still adjusting to the sudden shift in temperature when she heard it — the thundering of small feet, the sharp patter of excitement racing down the hallway.

“Paigey!”

A blur of rainbow leggings and wild curls launched itself across the living room. Ruby hit full speed as she rounded the corner, Sparklehorn bouncing against her side with each stride.

Paige dropped her bag without hesitation and opened her arms just in time to catch her. Ruby flung herself into the embrace, and Paige lifted her easily, laughing as she spun them both around once, then again, until Ruby squealed. Sparklehorn nearly slipped from her grasp mid-spin, but Ruby clung tighter, breathless and glowing.

“There’s my girl,” Paige said warmly, adjusting her hold and nuzzling her cheek. “Were you painting the whole house again, or just this room?”

“No,” Ruby giggled breathlessly. “We’re saving the rainbow castle. Aunty Ines is helping me make sparkle bombs.”

“Obviously,” Paige murmured with a grin, eyes drifting across the room as she shifted Ruby in her arms.

And then she saw her.

Azzi was sitting on the couch, one leg tucked beneath her, posture relaxed but gaze alert and the moment their eyes met, Paige forgot everything else.

She forgot about the art supplies on the floor, the marker-streaked coffee table, even Ruby still chattering in her arms. Her entire body stilled, drawn magnetically to the warmth blooming in Azzi’s face — the soft, caught smile, the subtle reach of her fingers toward the sleeve of her sweater like she always did when Paige looked at her too long.

Caroline glanced up from where she was laying out construction paper on the rug. She followed Paige’s gaze, then bumped her knee gently into Ines. “There it is,” she murmured under her breath.

Ines smirked. “They don’t even know we’re here anymore.”

Ruby tilted her head, eyes flicking between Paige and the couch. “Paigey, are you frozen?”

Paige blinked and smiled again, pulling herself back to the room. “Nope. Just... absorbing the scene.”

She set Ruby down gently, smoothing her hair and brushing a little glitter off her cheek. “Looks like y’all started without me.”

“Art waits for no one,” Caroline said sweetly, her nose dotted with a smear of silver paint. “We’ve turned your girlfriend's living room into a national monument.”

“We’re making Sparklehorn a wedding dress,” Ines added, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. “There’s a lot of tulle involved.”

Ruby darted back to the floor, immediately climbing into Ines’s lap like she belonged there. “She’s marrying Kelvin. He’s a dragon with a secret lab.”

Paige raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like high-stakes.”

Still smiling, she crossed the room toward Azzi without breaking stride. She sat down beside her on the couch and leaned in without preamble, brushing a kiss to her lips — soft, casual, lingering just long enough to draw a quiet hitch of breath from Azzi’s chest.

Azzi blinked up at her, dazed but smiling. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Paige whispered back. Her hand found Azzi’s knee, thumb brushing absent circles over the fabric of her jeans. “You good?”

Azzi nodded. “They just showed up.”

“I love them for that,” Paige murmured, glancing toward the art chaos on the floor.

Azzi let out a small breath. “I kinda do too.”

They sat like that for a moment — close, steady, with the kind of quiet that didn’t need filling. Paige tilted her body slightly so her shoulder touched Azzi’s, letting herself settle into the warmth of her without pulling focus from the rest of the room.

Across the living room, Caroline pretended to cough. “We can leave if you need the couch.”

Ines didn’t look up from her glitter scissors. “Yeah, we’ve got a backyard full of chalk and zero supervision.”

Azzi rolled her eyes, biting back a laugh. “We’re fine right here.”

Paige didn’t even blink. “Public space,” she called over. “Completely neutral territory.”

“Neutral,” Ines repeated, amused. “Sure. Except for the way you were looking at her like she’s the sun.”

Paige shrugged. “She is.”

Azzi’s cheeks flushed a deeper pink, and she ducked her head slightly but she didn’t pull away. If anything, she leaned closer. Paige took that as her win.

They sat like that for another few seconds before Ruby piped up again from the floor.

“Okay! Now we need flower petals for the aisle, and Sparklehorn says the dress has to have diamonds!”

“Coming right up,” Ines said, handing her a sheet of glitter stickers.

As Ruby resumed her royal planning, the room filled with movement and colour again, but Paige and Azzi stayed quietly nestled on the couch, just out of reach but entirely present.

No one said it, but everyone felt it: the ease was back.

--------------------

By the time Ruby declared that Sparklehorn’s wedding crown was complete, there were five different kinds of glitter embedded into the living room carpet. The coffee table was buried in markers, glue sticks, and paper scraps. The couch pillows had been rearranged into a “royal observation tower,” and someone, probably Caroline, had stuck two rhinestones to Sparklehorn’s horn like earrings.

Caroline stood, stretching her arms overhead. “Alright, tiny queen. I think Sparklehorn’s ready for her bachelorette weekend.”

Ruby giggled, adjusting the purple scarf tied around Sparklehorn’s neck. “She says thank you for your service.”

“You’re welcome,” Ines replied, giving a dramatic little bow before gently nudging Ruby’s elbow. “You wanna show us your chalk dragon out back before it gets dark?”

Ruby gasped, suddenly remembering the half-finished mural she’d started earlier that morning. “Yes! I need to finish the wings!”

She turned toward the couch, Sparklehorn tucked under her arm like a purse. “Mama, Paigey, we’ll be outside, ‘kay?”

Azzi nodded, brushing a curl back from her face. “Just stay where we can see you from the window.”

Caroline tossed her hoodie on and reached for the back door. “We’ve got her. Come on, Sparklehorn security detail.”

The three of them stepped out into the backyard, their laughter following them through the screen door. Paige watched until it latched behind them, then turned her gaze back to the room. The moment felt quiet now, a different kind of stillness, not heavy like the silence from earlier in the week, but soft. Safe.

She rose from the couch and offered her hand. “Come on. Let’s clean up the glitter apocalypse.”

Azzi groaned quietly but took it. “You know Sparklehorn’s probably shedding rhinestones into the furniture now.”

“I’m choosing not to think about it.”

They started on the living room together, moving around each other with a kind of ease that didn’t need direction. Paige collected crumpled drawings and scraps of gluey paper from under the table while Azzi uncapped markers and dropped them into a lopsided mason jar. Every so often their hands would brush — brief, quiet touches that lingered longer than they needed to.

Azzi knelt to pick a foam star out of the rug, her fingers brushing glitter off the hem of her jeans. “They’ve been good for her,” she said quietly, eyes focused on the floor. “Caroline and Ines. It’s like… she doesn’t even hesitate around them.”

“She trusts them,” Paige said softly, moving behind her to fluff the displaced couch pillows. “And they clearly adore her.”

Azzi paused. “It’s just… I didn’t expect it to feel so normal. For her to feel this safe with people I’ve barely let into our world.”

Paige glanced over at her, watching the tension in her shoulders shift. “You let the right people in, Az. She’s a great judge of character. Just like her mama.”

Azzi looked up at her then, something flickering in her expression, somewhere between surprise and softness. Paige held her gaze for a moment before turning back toward the mess. She grabbed Sparklehorn’s pink plastic tiara from the armrest and placed it on the windowsill gently, like it was made of glass.

“Hey,” she said, voice low but steady. “I wanted to ask you something.”

Azzi looked up again, standing now with a handful of colouring pages stacked under one arm. “What’s up?”

Paige hesitated, chewing lightly on the inside of her cheek. “This weekend. It’s a long weekend, right? No practice, no classes, no games.”

Azzi nodded slowly. “Yeah…”

“Well,” Paige began, moving a little closer. “I was thinking. What if we got out of here for a few days? Just… took a break. Somewhere quieter.”

Azzi’s brows knit together, uncertain but listening. “Where would we even go?”

Paige didn’t look away. “Maryland. My dad's place. I already texted them, including Drew. They’d love to see me, and I told them I wanted them to meet you. Both of you.”

Azzi froze for a second. “You mean—me and Ruby?”

“Of course,” Paige said, her voice softening even more. “You’re my girls.”

Azzi looked down at the pages in her hands. One was a drawing of a purple castle with Sparklehorn standing on the roof. She set it aside slowly. “Are you sure? I mean… are they ready for that? For all of this?”

Paige took another step closer until she was right in front of her. “They’ve been asking about you for months. And I know it’s not the same as seeing someone online through FaceTime or hearing about them over the phone. But I want you to meet them because you matter. Both of you. You’re not a secret to me. You’re my life.”

Azzi blinked once, twice, the weight of those words landing somewhere deep in her chest. Her voice was quieter now, almost unsure. “You already booked the tickets, didn’t you?”

Paige smiled a little. “I did. I used miles. We’d fly out early Thursday, come back Monday. Just enough time to unplug. No headlines. No cameras. Just real air and space.”

Azzi took a slow breath. “Ruby’s never been on a plane before.”

“We’ll make it easy for her,” Paige said. “She’s been asking to see the sky clouds, remember? It’ll be an adventure. You, me, and Sparklehorn in a security line.”

Azzi laughed under her breath, the tension in her body finally beginning to ease. “You planned this whole thing.”

“I wanted to give you something to look forward to,” Paige said. “And honestly, I wanted an excuse to show you off.”

Azzi rolled her eyes but her smile curved quietly. “That’s gross.”

“You love it.”

“I really do.”

They stood there for a moment, close enough to touch but not quite, hearts thrumming in the space between them. Through the kitchen window, they could see Ruby twirling in a circle with Caroline, chalk dust puffing off her sleeves as Ines drew wings on the driveway.

Paige reached out and took Azzi’s hand again. “So… is that a yes?”

Azzi laced their fingers together and gave her a look that was all affection, all trust, all yes.

“Let’s go meet your family,” she said. “Me and my unicorn.”

Paige leaned in and kissed her again, a little deeper this time — not rushed, not dramatic. Just certain. Like she already knew they were headed exactly where they were supposed to be.

--------------------

By the time Paige and Azzi stepped out into the backyard, the sun was already dipping behind the trees, casting long golden beams across the grass. The air had cooled just enough to raise goosebumps, but the energy outside was warm, buzzing with leftover laughter and the scent of crushed sidewalk chalk.

Ruby knelt near the patio, face flushed and focused, scribbling furiously with a pink chalk nub clutched in her fist. Sparklehorn was perched in a lawn chair behind her, wrapped in a sparkly scarf and wearing a paper crown that had definitely been taped together with glitter glue.

Caroline stood off to the side with her hands on her hips, inspecting the scene like an art critic. Ines was crouched next to Ruby, her cheek smudged with a streak of blue chalk, nodding seriously as Ruby added one final swirl.

“Okay!” Ruby called, tossing the chalk into a bucket with dramatic flair. “Now you can come look! But don’t step on the wings!”

Paige and Azzi exchanged a look, half amusement, half bracing themselves, before carefully stepping onto the path.

Ruby pointed like a tour guide. “This is the rainbow wedding! See? That’s Sparklehorn. She’s the princess. And that’s Kelvin. He’s a flying dragon with science powers. And this is the sky bridge! It’s only for true love people.”

The mural stretched across nearly the whole patio, a wild explosion of color and shapes and sparkles. Sparklehorn was drawn with purple chalk and had three tiaras. Kelvin was blue with extra-long wings and little hearts coming out of his fire. There were stars and castles and a rainbow arching over the whole scene like a giant pastel dome.

Azzi leaned in to inspect one section. “Is this Caroline?”

Ruby nodded. “Yep. She got a cloud bouquet.”

“And what’s Ines doing?”

“She’s spinning me!” Ruby said, giggling. “We’re throwing flower petals and Sparklehorn’s flying down the aisle.”

Ines squinted. “Who’s that up there with the glasses and the big cape?”

“Oh, that’s Nika,” Ruby said seriously. “She’s the wedding lady. She’s gonna do the talking. Like, ‘Do you pick Sparklehorn to be your dragon forever?’”

Caroline tilted her head. “Why Nika?”

Ruby shrugged. “She’s bossy but nice. That’s how wedding ladies are.”

Azzi let out a quiet laugh and bent down to kiss Ruby’s temple. “She’ll love that.”

Paige crouched beside her, brushing chalk dust off Ruby’s sleeve. “What about us? We’re in the drawing too.”

Ruby looked between them, thoughtful. “Well… maybe you and Mama could get married too.”

The words came out so simple, so direct, that both Azzi and Paige froze.

Azzi blinked. “Wait, what?”

Ruby gave a dramatic shrug, as if this was obvious. “You’re already my team. You sleep in the same bed. You kiss. That’s what married people do.”

Paige coughed, clearly caught off guard. “Wow.”

Caroline turned away, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Ines covered her mouth, trying not to snort.

Ruby kept going, oblivious. “I could throw flowers for you too! And Mama could wear a twirly dress. And Paigey could wear pants. And Sparklehorn could bring the rings in a basket. She already practiced.”

Azzi crouched and gently pulled Ruby into her arms, holding her tight. “Baby, that’s really sweet.”

Ruby rested her cheek on Azzi’s shoulder. “I just want you to be together forever.”

Azzi’s eyes fluttered closed for a second, and Paige reached out, brushing her fingers along Azzi’s arm.

“We’re working on it,” Paige said softly.

“You should do it soon,” Ruby whispered. “I wanna wear sparkly shoes.”

They stayed like that for a while, the three of them in a small tangle of knees and chalky clothes, tucked under a fading sky. The mural sprawled around them, full of dragons and crowns and rainbows. Somewhere behind them, Caroline quietly snapped a photo before stepping back again to give them space.

And in the center of it all, Azzi held her daughter close and let herself believe, even just for tonight, that some fairytales could be built with glitter and sidewalk chalk and truth spoken by a nearly three-year-old girl who saw the world exactly as it could be.

—--------------------

Wednesday Afternoon

The hum of game day buzzed through the walls.

Sneakers squeaked across the polished court outside, music thudded faintly through the speakers, and bursts of crowd noise filtered down the tunnel in waves, rising and falling like a heartbeat. Inside the locker room, the energy was more focused. The air was thick with anticipation, the smell of muscle rub and fresh tape. Jerseys were being pulled on, laces tied, headphones adjusted.

Paige sat at her locker, taping her fingers methodically, earbuds in but music paused. She was already in game mode, half-tuned into the world, half zoned in on what was coming.

Across the room, Azzi sat quietly, tying her shoes with careful precision. Her movements were slow, almost hesitant. Her brows were slightly furrowed, and though she hadn’t said much since they’d walked in, Paige had clocked the shift in her energy almost immediately.

They both knew why.

Ruby wasn’t here.

The decision had been made the day before, after a quiet conversation with Coach and UConn PR. After Darshay’s unexpected reappearance, everyone agreed it was better... safer for Ruby to sit this one out. No headlines. No risks. Just one game watched from afar.

Still, it stung.

Azzi’s phone buzzed softly on the bench beside her. She glanced at it, and for the first time that hour, her face shifted into something lighter.

Incoming FaceTime: Katie (mum)

Azzi didn’t hesitate. She grabbed the phone, stepped just out of the way of the main lockers, and hit “accept.”

Ruby’s face filled the screen, upside down and way too close. Her curls were wild, cheeks flushed, Sparklehorn clutched tight in one arm. “Mamaaaa!”

Azzi’s whole face softened. “Hi, baby.”

Paige looked up across the room, smiling despite herself.

“Look!” Ruby yelled. The camera flipped around clumsily to show a blanket fort made out of two chairs and a tablecloth. “I made the game tunnel! Me and Sparklehorn are doing team huddles!”

Azzi laughed, adjusting the phone angle. “Wow. That’s some serious pregame prep.”

Ruby flipped the camera back to her face, tilting her head dramatically. “Are you nervous?”

“A little,” Azzi admitted.

“I’m not,” Ruby said with a serious nod. “I told Sparklehorn we’re gonna win by a gazillion. And I saved your lucky snack. The pink gummy.”

Azzi smiled, her heart aching in the way only Ruby could make it ache. “Thanks, baby. I miss you.”

“I miss you more,” Ruby whispered. “You need your kiss now?”

Azzi nodded. “Yeah. I really do.”

Ruby puckered her lips with full toddler dramatics, holding the kiss for three full seconds before declaring, “Double good luck! That means no airballs!”

Azzi laughed again, quietly this time. “Thank you, Coach Ruby. I love you.”

“I love you too, Mama,” Ruby said, yawning a little. “Tell Paigey she better dunk it.”

Paige called from across the room without looking up, “You got it, kiddo!”

Ruby squealed. “Go Huskies!”

Azzi ended the call gently, pressing the phone to her chest for a second before setting it down.

She stood still for a beat, shoulders rising and falling with a breath she hadn’t realised she was holding. Paige walked over, silent until she was close enough to touch. She leaned back against the locker next to Azzi and bumped her shoulder softly.

“You okay?”

Azzi nodded, but her eyes were shiny. “I just… I hate that she’s not here. I know it’s the right call, I do. But this is the first time I’ve played since… all of it. And she’s not in the stands.”

Paige reached over and hooked her pinky with Azzi’s. “She’s in the tunnel, babe. She’s watching from her fort. Probably giving Sparklehorn play-by-plays.”

Azzi let out a shaky laugh. “She told me no airballs.”

“Well,” Paige said, giving her a crooked grin, “you better get it together then. That’s the boss talking.”

Azzi leaned against her a little, letting herself soak in the calm that always seemed to radiate from Paige on game days. Paige shifted closer, bumping her knee. “And hey. You still got your good luck kiss.”

“Yeah,” Azzi said softly. “But I could use another one.”

Paige tilted her head. “From me?”

“Obviously.”

Paige stepped in slowly, gaze flicking down to Azzi’s lips. “How hard do I need to kiss you for a triple-double?”

Azzi laughed through her nose, her smile finally breaking through. “Just kiss me, Bueckers.”

And so she did — quick and sweet, but enough to settle something low in Azzi’s chest. It was nothing flashy, just familiar. Certain. The kind of kiss you gave someone who made you feel like yourself again.

The locker room buzzed around them, but in that moment, everything narrowed down to this: the steady thrum of trust, the hum of energy between them, the echo of Ruby’s voice still warm in their ears.

Azzi pulled back, already feeling lighter, when Paige gave her a look, one of those crooked little smiles she wore when she was about to be annoying on purpose.

“What?” Azzi asked.

Paige tilted her head. “I’m just saying… you got your kiss.”

Azzi blinked. “Yeah?”

Paige leaned in a little, her voice low but playful. “So where’s mine?”

Azzi huffed out a laugh, but her face warmed. “You want me to kiss you for your good luck?”

Paige shrugged, all mock innocence. “Seems fair. I’ve got a stat sheet to fill too, baby.”

Azzi rolled her eyes, but she stepped forward anyway, gripping the collar of Paige’s warmup shirt and pulling her in just enough to press a kiss against her jaw. Soft, lingering, warm.

Paige didn’t even try to hide the grin that bloomed across her face.

“There,” Azzi said, tugging lightly at the hem of Paige’s shirt before stepping back. “Now we’re even.”

“Not even close,” Paige murmured, but her voice was all affection.

--------------------

The buzzer had barely sounded when Coach Geno motioned for Paige and Azzi to hang back near the end of the bench. The team huddled briefly on the court, cheers still ringing through the arena as the other players headed toward the tunnel, sweat-drenched and flying high off the win.

Geno stepped closer, lowering his voice beneath the noise.

“You two, skip media tonight.”

Azzi blinked. “What?”

He gave them both a look, firm but not unkind. “It’s handled. PR’s running point. They know Darshay’s name doesn’t come up. But I don’t want either of you sitting under lights answering questions that don’t matter right now. Go shower. Go pack. I’ll tell the reporters you had family business.”

Paige hesitated. “Are you sure?”

Geno nodded once. “This team’s got your back. I got your back.”

Azzi’s chest tightened as Paige reached out and briefly touched Geno’s arm in quiet thanks. Neither of them said much as they made their way through the tunnel, but the relief between them was obvious.

They left the arena without press interruptions, walking side by side under the purple-orange wash of twilight. Their bodies ached in the good way — muscles sore and buzzing from the game. Paige carried her duffel lazily over one shoulder, while Azzi tugged at the strap of her backpack with one hand, the other brushing the edge of Paige’s hoodie every now and then without even thinking about it.

“So,” Paige said casually, glancing sideways as they turned toward the dorms. “You packed already?”

“For Ruby? Yeah,” Azzi said, the mum-tone kicking in automatically. “Snacks, blanket, tablet, headphones, backup Sparklehorn, crayons, and the emergency glitter pouch. It’s all in her little carry-on.”

Paige smirked. “So she’s more ready than me.”

“She’s been ready since last night,” Azzi added with a fond smile. “She told me she’s gonna wear her unicorn hoodie through security so they know she’s magical.”

“She’s not wrong.”

They climbed the steps to Paige’s dorm in companionable silence. When they got inside, Paige dropped her bag on the floor and turned toward Azzi with that familiar glint in her eye.

“You know,” she said slowly, “we could get started on packing. Or…”

Azzi raised an eyebrow. “Or?”

Paige shrugged, voice lower now. “We could shower first. For, like, practical hygiene reasons.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And also,” Paige added as she stepped closer, resting her hands lightly on Azzi’s hips, “because you’re hot when you win and I’d like to be clean and naked next to you.”

Azzi groaned. “You’re the worst.”

“But so charming.”

Azzi shook her head, smiling despite herself, and nudged Paige toward the bathroom. “Start the water. I’m not showering in a freezing dorm stall.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The water was running within seconds, steam curling into the air and fogging the mirror. The tiny bathroom wasn’t luxurious by any means, but none of that mattered as Azzi peeled off her jersey and stepped in behind Paige. The stall was barely big enough for both of them, but they fit like muscle memory.

Azzi tilted her face into the spray and let the water run down her spine. Her breath softened, easing out of her chest like it had been waiting for hours. Paige stood behind her, fingertips gliding gently along Azzi’s waist as she leaned forward to press a kiss to the slope of her shoulder.

They didn’t say much.

There wasn’t a need.

Paige washed Azzi’s back carefully, running a soapy hand over each shoulder blade, down the ridges of her arms, the curve of her spine. Azzi let herself melt into the touch, eyes closed, breath syncing with Paige’s like they were tethered by the same current.

When Azzi finally turned to face her, the water streaked down both of their cheeks, their hair curling damp around flushed skin. Paige lifted her hand to cup Azzi’s jaw, brushing her thumb across her cheekbone.

“I’m proud of you,” Paige murmured. “For tonight. For everything.”

Azzi looked at her for a long moment, something quiet and open in her expression.

Then she kissed her.

It wasn’t a kiss that demanded anything — just a kiss that said thank you, that said I’m with you, that said I love this with you, and I love you in it.

They stepped out of the shower warm and clean, wrapped in towels and a kind of quiet that felt like safety. Paige pulled on a soft tank top and shorts while Azzi slipped into one of Paige’s oversized t-shirts and dried her curls as best she could with the little towel Paige handed her.

“Okay,” Paige said, moving back into the room, “let’s finish packing so we can get back to your place.”

Azzi nodded. “Yeah. Ruby’s probably already in pajamas waiting for us.”

Paige grinned. “Think she’ll sleep tonight or be too excited?”

Azzi gave her a look. “She packed Sparklehorn’s toothbrush. She’s gonna crash early from the stress.”

They both laughed softly and crouched down together by Paige’s suitcase. She already had most of her things laid out — clothes, shoes, chargers, travel snacks. Azzi helped with the last few pieces, folding a hoodie and zipping up the sides while Paige tucked her AirPods into the front pocket.

When they were done, Azzi leaned forward without a word and wrapped her arms around Paige’s waist, burying her face in her shoulder. Paige didn’t even flinch — just pulled her in tighter, her hand resting against the small of Azzi’s back.

“Thank you for doing this,” Azzi whispered, her voice barely audible. “For making it feel like… like we’re allowed to breathe again.”

Paige didn’t respond right away. She just turned and pressed her lips gently to Azzi’s temple, then down to the corner of her mouth. The kiss was slow, deliberate, tender in the kind of way that didn’t ask for anything back. Just love. Just care.

Azzi leaned into it, then kissed her again, one more, softer, this time with her hand cupping Paige’s jaw.

It wasn’t flashy. It wasn’t even spoken.

But it was hers.

And it was enough.

Or, it could have been — until Paige’s fingers slid just slightly along the edge of Azzi’s thigh, her thumb tracing that soft skin above the hem of the borrowed t-shirt. Azzi’s breath hitched. She looked up at Paige, eyes darker now, lips parted slightly.

Paige leaned in again, this time slower, her lips brushing just below Azzi’s ear. “You keep looking at me like that and I’m not gonna make it to morning.”

Azzi smirked, fingers curling around the hem of Paige’s shirt, tugging her closer. “So don’t.”

Paige’s hands slid to her waist, and for a second it was all pressure — warm breath, damp skin, tension tugging at every seam between them. Azzi’s nails dragged lightly across Paige’s back, and Paige let out a low sound that definitely wasn’t PG.

But just as Azzi started to shift into her lap, Paige stopped. Just for a second.

She pressed her forehead to Azzi’s and groaned. “God, I want to. You have no idea.”

Azzi blinked, dazed and breathless. “So what’s stopping you?”

Paige let out a quiet, reluctant laugh. “She’s probably in her unicorn pajamas right now waiting for us to tuck her in. If we’re even ten minutes late, she’ll claim Sparklehorn got worried.”

Azzi exhaled, half a sigh, half a laugh and nodded. “Right. Ruby.”

Paige kissed her again, quick and lingering. “She comes first.”

Azzi softened. “Yeah. She does.”

But as Paige stood and reached for her bag, she threw one last glance over her shoulder, the kind that promised unfinished business.

“Just so you know,” she said, voice low, playful, and entirely serious, “when we get back from Maryland… I’m not letting you get away with teasing me like that again.”

Azzi smiled slowly, grabbing her bag and following her out the door. “Good.”

They left the dorm together, the air cooler now, their fingers brushing again like always. And somewhere across town, a little girl in sparkly pajamas was probably waiting with Sparklehorn tucked under her arm, wondering what kind of adventures the next morning would bring.

--------------------

The ride from campus to Azzi’s place was quiet and easy, the kind of quiet that didn’t need filling. Paige drove with one hand on the wheel, the other resting loosely on Azzi’s thigh. The soft hum of the car and the rhythm of the tires against the road settled them into a familiar calm, even as the anticipation of the morning flight hung quietly between them.

By the time they pulled into the driveway, most of the neighbourhood was already dark. The porch light was on, a soft yellow glow against the steps. Through the front window, a flicker of the living room TV lit up the edges of the curtains. Inside, Ruby was already winding down with a blanket over her lap and Sparklehorn tucked tight against her chest, cartoon voices echoing faintly from the speakers.

Azzi unlocked the door quietly, peeking in first. Ruby’s head popped up the second she heard the latch click.

“Mama!” she whisper-yelled, dramatically flinging her blanket off as she ran full-speed to the door.

Azzi crouched to meet her, arms open.

“Hi, baby,” she whispered as Ruby launched into her arms.

Paige stepped inside just behind them, closing the door gently, and grinning at the sight. Ruby twisted in Azzi’s hold to reach toward Paige.

“Paigey! We won the game, right?”

Paige chuckled, already reaching for her. “Crushed it.”

Ruby stretched toward her, and Paige scooped her up in one smooth motion, spinning her gently until Ruby giggled and clung to her neck.

“I missed you,” Ruby said into her shoulder.

“We missed you too,” Paige murmured, holding her close, but her eyes were already fixed on Azzi. Soft. Warm. Stubbornly in love.

Ines and Caroline would’ve had a field day with it if they were here. Paige didn’t care.

Ruby babbled all the way back to the couch about Sparklehorn’s bedtime adventure and how she saved a fake worm from the laundry room. Azzi turned the TV off with a smile and promised to read her a book if she brushed her teeth for two minutes, which Ruby declared was “easy-peasy for a big girl almost three.”

Once she was back in pajamas and freshly scrubbed, they all headed to her room together. Paige settled Ruby into bed while Azzi tucked the unicorn beside her pillow, fluffing the sparkly mane as if Sparklehorn herself needed proper sleeping posture.

Paige sat down on the edge of the bed and smoothed a hand over Ruby’s hair. “You excited for tomorrow, baby?”

Ruby nodded so fast her curls bounced. “Mhm. Gonna go on the big airplane! Gonna fly with the clouds!”

Azzi leaned on the frame of the doorway, watching the two of them.

“And who are we going to see?” Paige asked, eyes twinkling.

“Drew!” Ruby squealed. “And your daddy! And Drew’s gonna teach me how to win at Fort-kite.”

“Fortnite,” Paige corrected gently, grinning.

“Yeah, that one,” Ruby said seriously. “He said I can build a sparkle house.”

Paige laughed and bent to kiss her forehead. “He’s gonna love that.”

Azzi came over and kissed the other side of Ruby’s head. “You’ve got your hoodie, your snacks, and your colouring stuff all packed. Ready for the adventure?”

Ruby nodded again, clutching Sparklehorn tight. “Can I sit by the window?”

“Of course, baby,” Azzi said. “Window seat is all yours.”

After hugs, kisses, and one final reminder from Ruby that Sparklehorn had “never been on a plane before,” the lights were dimmed and the door gently pulled shut.

Back in Azzi’s room, the quiet wrapped around them like a blanket. Her suitcase sat half-open at the foot of the bed, a few clothes already folded neatly inside, enough to show she’d prepped Ruby’s essentials in advance, down to a small pouch labelled snacks for ears with toddler-size gum and biscuits for the plane.

Paige took off her shoes and sat down on the carpet beside the suitcase. “Okay. Boss me around. What’s left?”

Azzi smiled and dropped to the floor behind her, then slid into Paige’s lap without hesitation. “You’re already doing it. Keep going.”

Paige blinked, amused. “You just gonna sit here and cuddle while I pack for you?”

“Yep.”

“And you call Ruby spoiled.”

Azzi hummed and curled her arms around Paige’s waist. “She learned from the best.”

Paige laughed under her breath but kept going, folding soft hoodies and rolled-up leggings, sliding in toiletries, and triple-checking that Azzi had remembered her ID. Every time she shifted forward to reach something, Azzi shifted with her — like they were tethered, like her weight on Paige’s lap made the space feel anchoured somehow.

“This is the best packing method,” Azzi murmured eventually, resting her chin on Paige’s shoulder.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“But you like it.”

Paige didn’t deny it. Instead, she leaned back just enough to kiss the corner of Azzi’s mouth. “You’re all set. Sparklehorn’s passport is in the side pocket.”

Azzi smiled sleepily. “Then we’re ready.”

The bags were zipped. The house was quiet. And Ruby — their fearless, glitter-crazed, magical daughter — was fast asleep down the hall, dreaming of sparkle houses and high-altitude unicorn adventures.

Paige wrapped her arms around Azzi’s waist and gave her a gentle squeeze. “We’ll be okay,” she said softly. “Tomorrow, and after that. You know that, right?”

Azzi nodded without hesitation. “Yeah. I do.”

--------------------

The alarm went off at 5:15 a.m., chirping softly from Paige’s phone on the nightstand. It was still dark outside, the kind of thick, early quiet that made the world feel like it hadn’t quite woken up yet. A chill settled low in the room, the kind that made slipping out from under the covers feel like a betrayal.

Paige didn’t move.

Azzi was already up — technically — sitting propped against the headboard with her hair tucked in a loose braid, scrolling through her checklist one last time. But Paige stayed curled at her side, arm draped across Azzi’s stomach, face tucked somewhere against her ribs like a human blanket with a grudge.

“Baby,” Azzi whispered, brushing the backs of her fingers across Paige’s cheek.

“No,” came the muffled reply.

Azzi laughed softly, shifting so she could run her fingers gently through Paige’s hair. “We have a flight to catch. Ruby’s already up.”

Paige burrowed deeper into her side. “She’s three. She’ll forget.”

“She’s not even three yet, and she already reminded me that Sparklehorn packed first,” Azzi said gently. “C’mon, sleepy. You gotta get up.”

Paige groaned. “You’re warm. I’m staying right here.”

Azzi leaned down and kissed the top of her head, then her temple, then just below her jaw. “I’ll warm you up again later,�� she promised, voice soft. “But right now we need to go play airplane with the sparkle queen.”

That earned a reluctant laugh. Paige opened one eye, gaze a little blurry but adoring. “Why are you so good to me?”

Azzi kissed her again. “Because you let me love you.”

Paige didn’t argue after that.

Down the hall, Ruby was wide awake and narrating her outfit to Sparklehorn, something about “big girl socks” and how today she was dressing “airplane brave.” She lit up the moment Paige entered the room with a yawn and a hoodie, launching into her arms and declaring her hoodie was “not sparkly enough but still nice.”

They were out the door by six, Tim waving from the driver’s seat and Katie handing off a small thermos of coffee from the porch with a wink. “Don’t let her fall asleep before the plane takes off,” she warned Azzi, nodding toward Ruby. “Or she’ll be up the whole flight asking why the clouds aren’t pink.”

At the airport, things went mostly smoothly until they reached security.

Ruby clutched her unicorn carry-on like it held the secrets of the universe, lips trembling the moment the agent gestured toward it. “We just need to scan it, sweetheart,” the woman said kindly, reaching out.

But Ruby pulled back instantly, holding the bag to her chest. “No!” Her voice cracked. “Sparklehorn’s in there! And her toothbrush! And her snacks!”

Azzi knelt immediately beside her. “Baby, it’s okay. They’re just going to put it through the little machine so we can make sure it’s safe, okay?”

Ruby’s eyes filled, her body stiff with fear. “But what if they don’t give it back?”

Before Azzi could say anything else, Paige stepped in — calm, gentle, steady.

“Hey, hey,” she said, crouching beside both of them. “Look at me, Roo.”

Ruby sniffled, eyes still shining.

“I’m gonna walk your bag through the scanner myself,” Paige said. “I’ll stand right there and watch the whole time. Sparklehorn’s not going anywhere, okay? I promise.”

The agent nodded and knelt a little herself, smiling warmly. “And guess what? Sparklehorn gets to go on a special ride. We’ll keep her safe the whole time, promise.”

Ruby hesitated. Then, slowly, she held the bag out to Paige.

“Okay,” she whispered. “But only if you hold her hand the whole time.”

“I got her,” Paige said with a small smile. “I got both of you.”

They made it through without another hiccup. Once past security, Ruby climbed into Azzi’s lap at the gate and insisted on feeding her animal crackers one by one until boarding began. She took her window seat proudly, Sparklehorn buckled in next to her, and declared, “We’re flying to sky land now,” before yawning big and curling up with her hoodie pulled over half her face.

Fifteen minutes into the flight, she was fast asleep.

Azzi shifted slightly in her seat, careful not to wake her, and glanced down at her daughter with a mix of affection and fatigue. Her hand rested protectively on Ruby’s little leg. Paige, seated in the aisle seat, passed over one side of her AirPods and offered a quiet smile.

“Wanna listen?” she whispered.

Azzi nodded, accepting the earbud and leaning just slightly into her side. Paige’s playlist filtered in, mostly R&B. Comfort music.

A few songs passed like that — just quiet and shared.

At one point, Paige leaned over and pressed a light kiss to Azzi’s shoulder, her hand settling on Azzi’s thigh beneath the tray table. “You doing okay?” she whispered, lips brushing skin.

Azzi nodded slowly, her eyes still fixed on Ruby. “I am now.”

Paige kissed her again — softer this time. “Good.”

They didn’t talk much after that. They just held onto each other, floating a few thousand feet above the noise, with Ruby asleep beside them and Sparklehorn keeping watch from the window.

--------------------

The plane’s wheels touched down with a gentle thud, followed by a rush of engine hum and a soft, collective exhale from the cabin. Ruby stirred immediately, blinking awake as if her internal clock had been set for landing.

“Are we in the sky still?” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

“No, baby,” Azzi whispered, brushing a hand through her curls. “We just landed.”

“Where’s Drew?” she asked groggily, already craning her neck to look out the window. “Is he down there?”

Paige chuckled. “He’s not on the runway, Roo.”

Azzi smiled, but Paige caught the flicker in her expression — that subtle tightening in her jaw, the way she adjusted her posture as the other passengers began shuffling around them.

Nervous.

Azzi didn’t say anything, but Paige knew her well enough to feel the difference in her silence.

She reached over without thinking, her hand slipping beneath the armrest to rest against Azzi’s thigh, just a quiet, grounding touch. Azzi looked over and blinked at her, almost like she’d just remembered Paige was still there. Paige gave her a small smile — soft, steady — and Azzi nodded once, letting out a breath like it helped.

When it was their turn to stand and collect their bags, Paige kept her hand on Azzi’s lower back. When they stepped into the jet bridge, her fingers found Azzi’s again. And when Ruby started chattering about whether the airport had unicorn statues or not, Paige used the distraction to gently lean into Azzi’s side, guiding her through the flow of passengers without crowding her.

“You good?” Paige asked quietly as they moved toward baggage claim.

Azzi didn’t answer right away. Then, finally, “I’m just… it’s a lot. I want them to like us.”

Paige squeezed her hand. “They already do. You know that, right?”

Azzi nodded, but Paige didn’t let go.

The terminal was buzzing with people — kids dragging backpacks, announcements over the loudspeaker, wheels of suitcases thudding against tile. Ruby skipped ahead a few paces, dragging Sparklehorn behind her by the leg, only to pause dramatically in front of a vending machine shaped like a rocket ship.

“Is that the spaceship we’re taking to Drew’s house?” she gasped.

Azzi actually laughed — a soft, real laugh, and Paige felt it in the way her fingers relaxed.

“No, baby,” Azzi said. “That’s just snacks.”

“Space snacks?”

“Sure,” Paige added. “Let’s call them that.”

They kept walking, and Paige didn’t let go of Azzi’s hand once.

--------------------

They rounded the corner toward baggage claim, the tiled floor catching slants of afternoon light as rows of travellers leaned over silver carousels and checked their phones. Ruby clutched Azzi’s hand with one and Sparklehorn with the other, swinging both back and forth with increasing excitement.

“Do you think Drew will have snacks?” she asked, skipping a little. “He said he had a snack drawer.”

“I’m sure he does,” Azzi said with a smile. “Probably just for you.”

Paige walked beside them, wheeling one carry-on behind her, her other hand resting at the small of Azzi’s back. She didn’t say much, but she didn’t need to, she could feel the way Azzi kept glancing around, the faint but familiar restlessness that came with too much attention and too many people.

They were almost to the carousel when Ruby’s entire body jolted with energy.

“There he is!” she cried, nearly tripping over her unicorn rolling bag. “Drew!”

And then she was off, Sparklehorn dragging behind her by one limp glittery leg.

Azzi made a soft sound, half instinct, half alarm. “Wait, Ru—!”

But Paige caught her gently by the arm. “She’s okay,” she said, steady and close. “Look at her.”

Ruby was already barreling toward Drew, who had just spotted her over a line of luggage carts. His eyes widened with surprise before a grin split across his face, and he dropped the foam cup he was holding just in time to catch her flying hug.

“You’re real!” Ruby declared as her arms wrapped around his waist, almost knocking them both off balance. “You’re really here!”

Drew laughed, half-winded. “So are you! You’re way taller than the iPad said.”

“Sparklehorn came too,” Ruby added seriously, then whispered, “She’s shy.”

Bob, who had stepped in behind them, crouched gently and opened his arms. “Hey there, Ruby girl.”

She turned, eyes sparkling. “Hi Grandpa Bob!” she shouted, like they’d seen each other every day for years.

She wrapped her arms around his neck like she’d been waiting her whole life to do it.

Behind them, Azzi came to a stop and stood just out of the way, unsure of what to do with her hands. Paige leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

“You okay?” she asked.

Azzi nodded, a little stunned. “She’s never like this with people she doesn’t know.”

“She does know them,” Paige murmured. “She just needed to see it in real life.”

Ruby pulled back from Bob, then turned and darted toward Azzi again. “Mama, come say hi!”

Azzi blinked, then stepped forward slowly, hand still caught in Paige’s.

Drew looked up at her — curious, excited, and completely unfiltered in the way ten-year-olds often were. “You’re Azzi,” he said, matter-of-fact.

“I am,” she said, a bit breathless.

He stepped up and gave her a sudden, fast hug — short and simple, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to, but wanted to anyway.

“You’re cooler than you looked on FaceTime,” he said quickly, then looked at Paige. “She’s so tall in real life.”

“She’s always been tall,” Paige said, grinning.

Azzi laughed under her breath, not quite sure what to say, and then turned as Bob stepped forward, not with a handshake, but with open arms.

“Good to finally meet you, Azzi,” he said, warm and low.

She returned the hug, surprised again by how natural it felt. “It’s good to be here. Really.”

Bob pulled back just slightly and glanced between her and Paige, then down at Ruby, who had now taken Drew’s hand and was rambling about “sky gum” and juice boxes.

He didn’t say much just offered a small, knowing smile. “You’ve got a good crew,” he said quietly to Paige. “The way you look at them…”

Paige ducked her head, just a little. “I know.”

Bob nodded. “You’re softer than you used to be.”

Paige glanced over at Azzi, who was crouching now to zip up Ruby’s unicorn bag while Ruby told Drew a very long, very incorrect story about airplane turbulence. “That’s a good thing, right?”

Bob smiled. “It’s the best thing.”

A chime echoed over the intercom as the luggage carousel began to churn and thud. Paige let go of Azzi just long enough to grab their bags, and when she turned around, Azzi was already adjusting the strap on Ruby’s little backpack like it was second nature.

Paige didn’t say anything. She just walked over, looped her free arm around Azzi’s waist, and kissed her cheek.

“Let’s go home,” she murmured.

Azzi nodded, eyes shining.

“Yeah,” she said. “Let’s.”

As they stepped away from the bustle of baggage claim and into the calm hush of the terminal exit, the air outside was crisp and golden with afternoon light. The car sat just a few paces away from the curb, the trunk already open, Drew jogging ahead to help Bob load the suitcases while Ruby darted between them, still animated from the airport reunion.

Bob closed the trunk with a gentle thud and turned back toward Azzi. She was standing just beside Paige, her posture a touch hesitant again now that the quiet had settled around them. Maybe it was the way her fingers curled near her waistband, or how her gaze flicked between Ruby and the street like she was trying to take in too much all at once.

But Bob didn’t give her the space to linger in it.

He opened his arms, not dramatically, not forcefully, just warmly and said, “I’m really glad you’re here.”

Azzi blinked, startled for a second. But then something in her seemed to ease, and she stepped forward without overthinking it, letting herself be pulled into a brief but solid hug. It was the kind of hug that didn’t ask for anything but offered reassurance anyway.

“Thank you for having us,” she said quietly into his shoulder.

Bob pulled back with a gentle pat to her back and a kind smile. “Anytime.”

Ruby had already claimed the middle seat in the back, arms crossed in determined ownership. “I’m gonna sit here ‘cause Sparklehorn needs both of you to keep her safe,” she declared, climbing in and buckling herself in with practiced drama.

Paige laughed and followed her, sliding in first so Azzi could sit on the other side. Ruby immediately passed Sparklehorn to Azzi like a sacred offering, then snuggled into her lap sideways with a sigh of exaggerated relief. “Now we’re all together.”

Drew climbed into the front passenger seat and immediately adjusted the side mirror like he had any reason to. “I call aux.”

“You don’t even have a phone,” Paige teased from the back.

“I brought my iPad,” he said smugly, already pulling up a playlist labelled VIBES WITH SPARKLEHORN.

Bob raised an eyebrow. “No songs with cursing.”

“I know,” Drew groaned. “You say that every time.”

Paige shifted in her seat, her thigh pressing lightly against Azzi’s, who sat with her head tilted back and one hand still gently holding Ruby’s leg. The kid was rambling now about what Sparklehorn wanted to eat for dinner and whether Drew had “real Fortnite snacks,” but Azzi barely looked away from the window.

“You okay?” Paige murmured near her ear, just low enough not to be overheard.

Azzi nodded slowly, then turned to meet her gaze. “Yeah. I really am.”

Paige smiled and reached over, brushing her knuckles lightly along Azzi’s jaw. “Good. Because this is your family too now, okay?”

Azzi didn’t reply with words. She just leaned in — not all the way, not dramatically, but enough. Enough that her forehead touched Paige’s temple and stayed there for a moment, long enough to settle something deep inside her chest.

In the front seat, Bob started the car. The radio came on low. The windows were down just enough to let in the evening breeze. And as they pulled away from the airport curb, Paige, Azzi, and Ruby sat tucked together in the backseat, bodies pressed close and warm. Ruby hummed softly, Sparklehorn now balanced on her lap, one foot resting lightly against Paige’s knee.

There were still things to face. Conversations to have. A world beyond this drive waiting for them.

But for now, everything felt full. Whole. Safe.

[saintshadow]

this PAC is for romantic and platonic connections!

The connection between you and whoever is on your mind.

P I L E O N E

You could have a very watery feminine energy & Your person could be a little strict or strained sometimes in their love language. Saturn as well as Black Moon Lilith in Aquarius came out here. So, we've got a lot of saturnian energy going on, especially with Libra being in the mix. Your person might encourage you to be your authentic self, while struggling to maintain that for themselves.

I keep seeing images of a couple arguing on a dock while a storm is just blowing. The woman looks frantic and upset, and the man seems very disconnected and unworried.

You could have very powerful thoughts and emotions, you could have water in your big 3 and you might be a beach girly or something, I also did hear marine biologist so idk if that applies to someone 🤣

It feels like your person has a hard time letting people know when it feels dark inside of them. I feel like they can be a bit restrictive at times, they could make you feel trapped or lost sometimes. Like you don't know where you're headed or what to look towards.

This person seems very unhealed. It feels like they will literally rip themselves apart for whoever they love. They intend well, they may have a tendency for secret self harm? Or very cruel and negative self talk and self image.

They could also be in the process of ending this cycle of self harm & being a martyr. It seems with the 6 of air that they are trying to start a new cycle in their lives. I guess we're getting a very balanced look at this person 🤣

They may be very traumatized.

Afraid of reality, or scared of vulnerability.

Mercury by Steve Lacy just came on, this person could be a Gemini!

Ykw. The 8 of earth just came out, this is some goddamn Virgo energy 🤣

I feel like this is the type of person who has a very practical improvement and solution oriented approach to life and relationships.

They could have Venus in capricorn, or DSC in capricorn (cancer rising).

It feels like they are fiercely loving & protective & loyal.

They really care about you, they care so deeply it hurts them sometimes. Because you may remind them of something or someone. Something they felt they could never have or attain. I feel like this person could be elevating your status somehow.

To me it feels like they're very methodical and forward thinking but also very eccentric and a bit chaotic mentally as well.

A very unique person, could be some intense uranian energy here as well. (Moon/mercury/ASC/10h aspect to Uranus)

I heard maladaptive but also thought of the word malediction.

So they could get very stuck in their head to the point they create almost like very negative manifestations of reality into existence in the world around them.

They're very scared of being hurt again & it honestly feels like they avoid deep connection. It's like superficiality can be easier because it is easier to maintain. This person could be very scarred by their past. It feels like a lot of trauma and loneliness was experienced by your person. They try their best to forget and it seems almost like whatever they experienced penetrated their heart very deeply.

They may have loved someone before that hurt them very very very badly. It feels like theres almost this innocent scared child inside of them. I heard sad eyes, it's important not to get into a savior complex.

Don't take on unnecessary baggage, if this is something you do want to engage with and they are working on themselves & healing I think this could be a really positive connection.

It feels like this person is a soul nurturer. They know how to make you feel like the center of their universe & It makes you feel very warm. I keep thinking of like velvet textures and sort of a 70's aesthetic in my mind. I'm also thinking of bootsy collins, they could have a retro aesthetic or vibe to them.

They may also like funk music, funkadelic/Parliament in particular comes to my mind for obvious reasons lol.

This person is really eccentric, they just stand out. It's weird the dichotomy of this person. They almost feel like a walking paradox 🤣

They could be very surprising, maybe they do & say a lot of unexpected stuff. You might never know how they'll respond to something or fully guess what they'd think about it.

They might really enjoy contrast, I also heard contrarian. So they may like to break the boundaries and barriers and ideas that people try to place upon them. This is very Aquarian/Uranian 🤣

We love a rebel

If you want a more detailed message on this person you can always dm me for a 1:1 in depth reading on this topic for 50$ 😚

Channeled messages:

Condescending, Let your hair down, Atrophied, Catastrophic, Nails on a chalkboard, Lonely, Drowning, Swallowing, Brown hair, Virgo, Gemini, Cap, Libra, Aqua, Cap venus

P I L E T W O

I feel like your person is goofy as fuck, they may be a stark contrast against people you've liked before. It seems like this person has brought you a lot of simultaneous joy and connection as well as heartbreak. I feel like this is someone who may be a provider, or who could be very humble. This is someone who will get the job done, one way or another. They may be the type to take on mundane or frustrating tasks. I feel like one of the ways this person shows love oddly enough is by dousing out their flame. It's not on purpose, but I think that this person may silence their selves and their needs super frequently in favor of allowing others to take up their space too. I feel like this person is very in their own mind. I heard "brother" and "sibling" so this person could feel like family to you. I also feel like this person makes you feel different. Like, almost as if you are your unique self expression. They could make you feel soft and feminine in ways you haven't experienced before. Which results in a lot of anxious, internalized, almost deflective energy between the both of you. In the Eve Oracle card which came out, her back is facing towards Adam as she holds an apple. It could be that you overlook this person's love at times, thinking that there is something better for you out there. That this person isn't worth your time, which, granted I can't tell you what to do or what your experience is. But, in my perspective, I think you actually need to give this person more credit. You need to be honest with them, and maybe put down the walls. I heard can't forget the past, so it's possible y'all had a difficult run. If that's the case & you can't forgive I feel like you need to ask yourself why you still participate in the connection. They clearly adore you, and it seems like you don't understand that they are capable of adoring you. They have a very deep admiration for you, I feel like they always have. This person may fight for you and defend you in ways you aren't aware of. It feels like a passive form of protection, you don't always understand that they are a bit more passive in their love language. This is someone who is more thoughtful than passionate. I feel like you two manifested each other in some way shape or form, especially if this is a romantic connection or friendship. I heard soul connection, your souls came across each other in this lifetime to help each other unleash and integrate your shadows. To purify your souls, and to release what no longer serves you. I just keep feeling that this person is very unique, they're nothing like what people might expect of them. I see here where you may not know it, but this person is kind of a master manifestor.

You could've also been family in a past life, the Mother Earth card came out with Saturn. So it feels like this is a very karmic relationship. I see where you may feel driven to let them go, or almost this push or pull to be with them simultaneously. I heard something about "the moon wants you to be together" which is weird? For someone this could have to do with Hekate. I also heard Lilith. I feel like this person is trying to step up to the plate but you aren't seeing it. For some reason astrology is extremely important in this connection, looking at the synastry between y'all could help you better grasp the magnitude of what you are both experiencing. It's crazy how this song is lining up in a way the lyrics are "Feel the warmth coming through Streams of light come into view In a daze, but coming to Slipping away, falling through"

I honestly recommend listening to this song for clarity, Invisible - The Groovy Nobody It feels like this connection was fated or destined, I heard written in the stars. You guys really need to look at your synastry together or something. If you and your person are into astrology. I also have Neptune with Black Moon Lilith in Pisces and Black Moon Lilith in Leo. It feels like your shadows almost become projected unto one another. The Sun also came out, it feels like you two Mirror heavily. I'm not big on twin flame shit, and never have been- HOW IN THE EVER. IF that's something that's come up HEALTHILY, and not in a dynamic that is actively harmful and abusive then MAYBE it's something you should POSSIBLY consider pondering as a concept and learning about soul connection. If this person treats you like shit then forget about it, immediately, and do not engage. I don't care how much they love you, if they're actively causing you intentional or unintentional damage in the same pattern even if you've communicated about it, and if they are unreceptive and unwilling to change kiss their ass goodbye.

Know your worth. I just want to make one thing abundantly clear here, which is the matter of the fact that any point you can come out of alignment with someone. The thing is, that everything is part of a cycle, and part of a collective. That's how collective energies work, so just as there are plenty of you in this particular collective having this particular experience there are more and less evolved versions of that same person. Different people of course, who are unique and different from your person. Yet, who have a similar energetic composition or depending on how things go that could even be YOU shifting into a new collective or them shifting into a new collective. This is about matching energy, but not in a petty way. Learning that the two of you are literal mirrors to each others souls', so just keep that in mind.

Astrological placements: 12H Sun, Gemini moon, mars in cancer/4h Mars, Mars square moon, Mars conjunct sun, moon in the 9th house or 9 degree moon, Aquarius Sun, Aquarius Moon, Venus in Capricorn.

Channeled words: Dominance, envy, compassionate, bones, baby blue converse tennis shoes, Santa muerte, stellaris, Planetarium, Cassiopeia, Vashti, Cereal Milk, Vampire Diaries, Courage the Cowardly dog, City of Angels,

P I L E T H R E E Whoever holds Feminine energy in this connection is a very powerful being. This is someone who has a commanding energy, very womanly, very witchy, very much dark Feminine energy. This Feminine is very in tune with their shadow, it seems like second nature to them low-key. This person may push the boundaries and limitations of what you previously thought you knew. This person may be contemplating their next moves at the moment. They could feel like they want to make shit work out in their favor in life for once. It's such a cosmic energy, it's so powerful. I feel like if you're the feminine energy this is your energy, I don't think the feminine energies in this pile fully grasp their power. You deserve what you desire. Anyways, back to you and your person! It's so crazy, because as I was pulling cards I kept thinking to myself how your person feels like outer space. Or like a void, but not in a negative way, it's just that their energy is very deep and almost reminds me of the darkness that exists within and without. This connection is likely deeply transformative for you in some way shape or form. Anyways, but ASHERAH fell out and I remember my mentor telling me before that when Asherah divorced from Yahweh she went to space. He told me about this because at the time I was super curious about Jack Parsons and asked about his suicide. A lot of people believe he killed himself to be with Asherah. ANYWHO LOL, This connection is meant to guide you towards your purpose. I heard high level soul mate, so you and this person could be very in tune and in a healthy state. There feels like a lot of passion and admiration. I'm channeling Dirty Woman by Pink Floyd, lmao wowww the song is 3:33 3 is the number of Saturn, and I low-key see this in a sense of longevity. This may be your person frfr, I feel like there's sooo much passion here. It's giving Aries. You could have Aries Mars, Moon, Venus, or Sun. This is deep awe-inspiring passion that lights your heart on fire. It feels like there is a deep creative or sexual connection here, take what resonates!

I just heard Mars in the 12th house? Idk why I started channeling I wanna be Evil by Eartha Kitt, I feel like this person is incredibly unorthodox. They may be a bit of an edgelord (it Is very Aries energy tho, so are we really surprised?) I feel like this is someone who can be sultry, passionate, and outgoing, but also is highly intelligent. Someone with a huge personality, they could be very Theatrical in their self expressions. It's very much giving Leo and Black Moon Lilith in Leo actually came out LOL with Queen Jezebel and The Black Madonna, and The Sun... so like, are we surprised at how big this person's energy is? It feels like you've never experienced someone like this person almost? I'm getting a lot of channeled Songs for this pile, The next one is 11 AM by Incubus. Your person could be depressed. They may be struggling with a lot of difficulty in how to move forward with this connection. They may feel estranged or disconnected at times, I feel like there is a deep wound they are healing. I also keep hearing evil eye, so you may need to be more private about your relationship or this friendship. This connection is very special, and people don't always understand it. I think there is at times judgement from others regarding this connection and it makes them feel pessimistic and isolated.

Don't be afraid to communicate with your person, I feel like they really care a lot for you. I keep feeling a weird feeling in my stomach, it could feel like the prospect of love is scary for one or both of you. Connection could be something that feels very dissonant at times to someone? It's important for you guys to not dwell in the past, to move forward with great passion and vigor is the best thing you can do. I think this pile needs to do some cleansing and hex removal, you'd possibly benefit from revisiting some of your old notes for some of you? Something in a notepad, or on a computer. Notes of some kind. Something about clues? that's so specific lol. Channeled Songs: I wanna be Evil - Eartha Kitt, Dirty Woman - Pink Floyd. Placements: Aries (Sun, moon, Mars, Neptune, Venus), 12h Mars, Mercury conjunct Jupiter Channeled messages: Past life energy, "keeper of keys", I heard "master of none" as well, catch me if you can, count your blessings, "I can't wait to meet you", FNAF?, LMAO tell me why I just channeled master builder (I need to rewatch the lego movie soon fr),

[vulchak]

So. I watched the live action Lilo and Stitch. (Completely unrelated but Jack Sparrow is one of my favorite Disney characters, anyway-) The original is my favorite 2d Animated movie. I wanted to wait a couple days just to get my thoughts in order but I think the notes I took while watching are more accurate to how I feel about this insult to animation, storytelling and character

It got long so TL;DR, This whole movie feels gutted. Gutted of the themes, of the atmosphere, and of the heart. A downright insult to the original. How this badly acted, lit, and animated thing is getting good reviews is beyond me. It doesn't hold up neither as a remake, nor as a movie in its own right

Right off the bat the pace is 5 times quicker than the original. Nothing has time to sink in, I feel like I'm watching the movie at double speed

And they've moved things around for no reason, Stitch is shown first, then Jumba is brought in, which just dampens the impact of both their introductions

Jumba sounds 20 years younger and way more boring than he should, he sounds like a stock random guy, not an experienced and unhinged genius. His grammar is fixed but his accent is also gone which just makes him sound less unique. I don't blame the VA, he did great as the Lego Joker but he was just miscast here

The grand councilwoman is done so dirty already. In the original she sounds genuenly hopeful Stitch can show signs of goodness and be spared. Nope, here she's so monotone it's like she's obligated to ask him to say something

She doesn't ask for an expert, Pleakely comes running in himself. In a cowboy hat for some reason. She also has a bizarre amount of modern slang like "crikey" and "you're kidding" which feels extremely out of character and forced

She also gets Stitch's biology wrong? "Water increases his molecular density" the fuck it doesn't, HIS OWN molecular density is great, which makes him sink. He's dense, that's the point. Water doesn't affect him he just can't swim cause he's heavy

She doesn't seem to care about her own people because she doesn't tell no one to back away from Stitch's ship when he engages hyperdrive. Which in the original was also a built up dangerous thing he did, here it's blink and you'll miss it. We don't even see him properly escape anything. The guns just blow up the door, we see him running down a hall for 2 seconds, next time we see Stitch he's on the ship, that's it

Pleakley is excited to go to earth and Jumba is the one who SUGGESTS it, he basically blackmails the grand councilwoman, saying he'll capture 626 in exchange for his lab back. Pointless changes that only serve to make the story less impactful and more childish. And this whole thing goes by in 5 minutes, in the original I swear it was at least twice as long. (Edit: I checked, it is twice as long)

The social worker scene, completely different, no "my friends need to be punished" line. Overall just, worse version of the original, not much to say

Nani is now outright stated to be studying to be a marine biologist instead of the subtle environmental storytelling of her being a champion surfer from the original. Not a bad idea? But it should've been more subtle, so far it feels like this movie thinks you're stupid and need to be told everything, despite supposedly being "the more mature version for adults"

David is cringe now and that's his whole joke. He's not really endearing anymore

Stitch wrecking his own spaceship is just stupid

Lilo and Nani's argument and subsequent make up talk have absolutely zero impact compared to the original. The constellation thing is cute I guess

When Nani is being shoved out the room so Lilo can make a wish, she didn't even fall on Lilo, and Lilo's wish is worded much worse than the original. More long winded. Stitch coming out from the crash site is SO UGLY compared to the original

If I had a nickel for every movie that's got a blue CGI character crashing a wedding and Uptown funk in the soundtrack I'd have two nickles. Which isn't a lot but at least SONIC 2 WAS A GOOD MOVIE

Lilo meets Stitch. MISSED. THE POINT. OF THE SCENE. ENTIRELY.

First of all he's supposed to go "Haaaiii" after he heard Lilo way hi to him first. How the fuck does he know to say hi when all she did was scream? Second, he's tiny, Lilo picks him up. He's supposed to be so dense adults can barely hold him, how the hell is Lilo just, carrying him around? And if it's water that makes him heavy for real. Then that's just stupid

Also love how no one is freaking out about it, the lady working there casually leashes him and sounds so disinterested. Every person in the movie (except Lilo she's doing very well) sound like they don't wanna be there

They're giving Nani less to do and making her worse. In the original, they were at the dog shelter because she heard Lilo's wish and wanted to make it come true. Now its the neighbour taking Lilo, and not even to the shelter, not to adopt a dog, they just kinda. Do. Without Nani's permission which is another problem

Cobra being CIA and involving the authorities as a whole is. Dumb

Oh so Nani came up with the name Stitch. Wonderful. One stupid decision after another

"I read her text messages." People in present day still keep diaries there was no need to change that. Hello fellow kids ass line

Nani being mean to Lilo after losing the job and making it very clear it's Lilo's fault, instead of comforting her and going along with her bug imagination. Way to ruin the best big sister in your history, Disney

They turned the "Ohana means family" scene comedic. WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA AND WHICH SLUG-BRAINED MORON APPROVED IT?

Nani being a jackass again. "We were left behind" that's exactly what you say to your grieving 6yo sister about the parents who tragically passed, Nani, way to go. Makes it sound like they ditched them on purpose

Telling us about the room full of trophies instead of showing us. This movie is for babies in a way the original never was

Stitch spelling out he has no family instead of the again, much more mature and subtle dialogue of the original

The teaching Stitch hula thing was alright I guess

Nani doesn't even see Stitch being a record player is lame. Followed up with a fart joke

Remix of Hawaiian Rollercoaster ride is worse than the original in both sound and placement. It was a personal moment for the family. To take their minds off the bad day of not finding jobs. Now it's just. Full of tourists, and Nani teaching/being at her job

Also Stitch being the one to ask to go in the water first. Goes against the story, he's supposed to be shown it's OK first, by being taken in by Lilo. But no, just sees a dog, decides he wants to. FUCKING STUPUD

Whole hospital insurance thing seems so showhorned in. Not having a job was reason enough for that contract

And Stitch not being directly blamed for it. Again. Zero. Impact. They've literally turned this into a stock "CG character stuffed into a plot with live humans" movie. And it's disgusting to watch

Jumba is turning into a villain. Lame. His dynamic with Pleakely is also fucked

The hammock scene is again just. A worse version of the original, I don't know what to say at this point. This whole movie is somehow so fast and so sluggish at the same time, it's impressive how bad the pacing is

Stitch doesn't even see the ugly duckling book, doesn't talk to Lilo, doesn't go to the woods with the ducks just. Goes to his crate??? For some reason??

And LILO finds HIM. NAH, missed thr entire point, AGAIN

Wedgie joke, butt joke. More completely unnecessary childish humor

The portal gun is an alright gimmick but. Meh. And no song playing over it. So immediately less memorable scene. Elvis as a whole is very absent from this movie

NAH WE AIN'T DOING A LIAR REVEALED WITH STITCH, WHAT EVEN IS THIS MOVIE

Stitch himself feels like a non character in his own movie somehow, he's just there to be a dog, a cute CG character to sell merch. So many of his important scenes are missing or so watered down it barely feels like the same character

Reference to the other experiments is neat but thats not how 627 is made, you can't just turn one experiment into another

Cobra being the one who turns and helps them. Stupid. He was supposed to be a good guy the entire time

The climax is so anticlimactic compared to the original too. Painfully obvious they were out of a budget

Lilo having to leave Stitch to drawn should hit hard. It doesn't. That thing spent the whole movie being annoying, stiffly animated, and frankly I don't care if it drowns. That's not Stitch. It's a badly made imitation

Oh and now they're recussitating him. With jumper cables. And he threw up the important family photo. This isn't Lilo and stitch. In writing, acting, or soul. And I swear they're reusing voice lines for Stitch in some scenes

The reason for Stitch staying before was such a beautiful simple solution. He was adopted, as a pet, he's Lilo's. But now. Overcomolicated, stupid, and again, the councilwoman used to geneunly want to give Stitch a chance and let him stay. Now she seems much more reluctant and it doesn't work as well. The mosquito thing didn't come up, Stitch doesn't let his antenna and extra limbs out for Lilo to see

David is being so fucking stupid- they turned one of the best Disney men into an annoying stock moron. Oh and Nani doesn't have a job and can't be in charge of Lilo. Sure putting her with the neighbours and letting Nani go study is fine, I guess? But it isn't nowhere near satisfying and misses the entire point of Nani's character

Not sure if there's anything past the credits, I didn't watch those.

[celtrist]

Alastor's the most supportive guy I know.

Okay, but I'm sure some have noticed it's been a hot minute since I've done some drawing, and there's a bunch of reasons! But, for what I am willing to share:

Simply an art block. I don't know what to draw. I haven't been pulled into any doodle or illustration ideas too much lately and have been suffering from an ever-so-light burnout. Any recent art I've done is character based (like designs or refs), so not really anything anyone would be too interested in here. I have been sitting on doing a line-up of the hazbin gang to actually figure out how I would draw everyone, so maybe it'd be good to get around to doing that?

To follow up on that hazbin line-up idea and burnout, I think I've been getting a bit burned out on Hazbin. Not to say I'm leaving the fandom or not to expect any hazbin art in the future at all (who knows, a piece for the series might strike inspo). BUT, now would be a good time to remind that this is very much not a Hazbin-specific blog, it's a "whatever strikes my fancy at the moment" blog. And lately, while still a bit in a Hazbin mood, I've definitely been steering into other and new hyperfixations. It's honestly impressive I stayed in a Hazbin mood this long, I'm a very "get into a different fandom every few months" sort of person. Unfortunately, with a new fixation means new characters to get over drawing (I get very awkward drawing canon characters, it took a while to even attempt drawing for Hazbin haha). But, I'll probably push through and make art for it? I dunno, we'll see. I already wrote two stories on Ao3, so there's that, I guess?

So yeah, not dead but have been stumped on inspiration to draw and a bit Hazbin-ed out. I'll probably get back into it when season 2 comes out. Who knows, I could totally get back into it before then. But considering a large, if not most of everyone, who follows me (which I've never mentioned but holy shit, there's definitely more than I ever thought I'd get. Thank you so much!!) is for Hazbin, I figured it's fair to remind and warn that this is more of a multi-fandom blog.

Hopefully, I'll get more out of this funk with the art soon! I just wanted to give a quick update and offer a semi-lazy doodle.

[n0rmal-cat]

Okay, this time for farmer yan, it's a pretty NSFW ask, so feel free to skip

You said he's open to accepting the idea of not having smexy and having all year around funking time, but what if yn has, like, super low lust

Like me personally, I'm a hypersexual person, constantly got my mind in the gutter, but other than my imagination, my urges are of that of a fossil,,

How would farmer react to that? Is he understanding and just happy with anything he can get or is he pouty and sulky?

You guessed it, it's me, ✨

Farmer x reader- love or lust?

Farmer is a very respectable guy if reader doesn’t want to have sex with him, they’re not having sex.

He wouldn’t be angry or sad with reader at all. You two are just different and he accepts that, if anything he’s asking reader if he can deal with his urges alone.

He loves reader and love is different from lust. He's going to do everything in his power to make sure reader loves him back, because reader is his whole world. He'd rather change himself then make them change.

“So you like to think about and engage online with lust, but don’t have the drive for it in the real world?” He asks, looking at reader up and down.

“Well that’s kinda the bare bones of it yeah”

“Would ya like it if I…wrote smut for you about us?…”

Reader bursts out laughing, he blushes and tilts his sun hat down to cover his face in embarrassment.

“Hold on hold on I’m crying, give me a sec” they pat farmers forearm.

“That’s a very nice thought, thank you”

He rolls his eyes “yer stupid…”

“I love you~” they hug his arm

“Oh get off me you little pest, wait till you read what I’m gonna write see how you act then” he doesn’t push them away but reader can feel his form become more loose, he was struggling to keep it stable.

“Alright alright whatever you say big guy” reader just smiles and leans in to him

[sirxlla]

Last Call

----------------------------------------------------

Warnings: Fluff

Prompt: Late nights with Tyler (Dancing in a bar together)

Notes: female reader, italics are actions and thoughts.

-With that said it's all under the cut-

The night started out with a rowdy bunch of all his friends just eating and drinking at the bar. Dani and Lily both needed to get to bed due to being shitfaced, Javi and Kate had left to get the two women home safely. Dexter had found a woman he really liked and started chatting her up so it left you and Tyler alone.

Tyler had just a few beers and you a few coke and whiskeys, nothing fancy. He slowly pulled you out into the middle of the now more empty bar.

"Ty! I don't- I don't dance." You giggled as he pulled you tword the dancefloor, your face bright red.

"Hey, I never said we had to do something fancy." He laced his fingers with yours and flipped you around so both your arms are wrapped around you, your back against his chest. He kisses your temple snd gently sways you back and forth.

"You totally lied!" You laugh as you look over your shoulder at those beautiful green eyes of his feeling his warm chest against your back.

"I think we need to reevaluate your definition of fancy, Pretty Girl." He brings his face closer to yours and you can almost taste the beer on his breath.

"I think you've got beer goggles, Hun." You arent one for compliments but it never stops Tyler from showering you with them like a thunderstorm. He wants you to know how much he cares about you even if he knows it's hard for you to believe due to your upbringing along with your exes.

"The only think I'm drunk off of is the sight of your beauty, it's very intoxicating." He kisses your neck gently and pulls you a bit closer, as you relax into his touch he continues his kisses upon your skin. Tyler gently guides your hips as you both sway to some country love song in the background.

"I'm just gonna have to keep giving you compliments until you realize how goddamn important you are to me, Cowgirl." His lips brush against the soft skin of your ear, his voive is soft and sincere. He's not even trying to be flirty or get any tonight, all he wants is tonight is to make you feel appreciated and cared for.

"Oh! You kiss your Mama with that mouth?! Ohhhhh, I'm gonna tell her!" You giggle as you tease him about that time she reemed his ass over saying goddamn even though she says it all the time. You wriggle out of his grip and pretend to go for your phone.

"Oh, no you dont!" He chuckles before pulling you back to him by your hips. His eyes shine in the fairy lights above the dancefloor, his smile lighting up the room. His smile killed you, you could be the most sad, angry or upset and that smile could just so easily pull you out of your funk.

When you both initally got together you noticed how often you's smile smile just because he was, you laughed because he was and quickly realized how happy you are just because of his exsistance. He's the light in your life and you couldn't think of anyone else in this way but him.

"Oh no, she's gone off to Fairy Dreamland." Tyler jokes pulling you closer to him, wrapping his arms around the small of your back.

"You thinking about my eyes? Or is it my washboard abs, rippling pectorals? Or maybe it's my glorious buns." He says, teasinf you in that Chad voice he does just for you. Tyler's always teasing and joking, really anything to get a smile to your face.

"Bars closing, Y'all! Last call waas an hour ago!" The bartender called up as they cleaned up which prompted you to both look around and realized how you were the only two customers in here.

"Time flies when you're having fun, I guess?" Tyler commented as he handed yoi his keys since you'd had a drink much earlier in the night than he did.

"You're letting me drive the truck?!" You asked with excitement as you grabbed the keys from and guided him outside. The smile on your face is massive, he just loves how little things mean the world to you.

"Hell yeah I am, don't worry about anything. Don't worry, she's seen worse than anything you could do to her." He helped you in the truck before going around to the passenger to climb in himself.

You start it up and another love country song starts playing on the radio. The both of you buckle up and you pull out of the bar parking lot very carefullly. Tyler passes out in the truck on your way to his apartment.

About twenty minutes later you wake him up as you pull into his driveway, putting it in park before killing the engine.

"Come on, Ty, I'm not strong enough to get you in." You told him as you got out and went around to help him out as well, his human crutch for the night. The booze wasnt even the problem now, its that he just doesnt wanna move.

You help him in and he just purposefully lays on the couch, he just wants to sleep everything catching up to him from the past weeks of chasing.

You stripped his shirt, pants and cowboy boots off and get a blanket from the hallway to drape over him. You head to the kitchen to get water, ibuprofen and Cheese-Its for when you both wake up tomorrow and the hangovers hit a bit.

Then you sit down and take your dress and heels off and crawl into bed with him, cuddling into his chest. It takes a bit of listening to his heartbeat but it lulls you to sleep like a melody.

Masterlist

Send me prompts if you'd like

[fuctacles]

<< 10 | - | 12 >>

Robin finds them sprawled on the grass, resting after their play break. Steve notices her first, his head raising and tail wagging excitedly, though he doesn't move from his spot warming Eddie's thigh. 

"Steve?" 

That's when his friend realizes what got him so excited and he waves to Robin as she spots them in the middle of the yard. Their eyes meet and he knows she's surprised to see Steve in his other form again, but she doesn't say anything. Their werewolf friend yips happily and stands up, away from Eddie's petting to greet his best friend. 

"Hello, Buckley."

"Hello, Munson." She puts her hands on her hips in a perfect mirror of Steve. "I see you two are hard at work?" Robin quickly folds when Steve sits at her feet, his tail moving so fast it is barely visible. She squats down to scratch around his ears. "Hi, dingus."

"Exactly, and we're taking a well-deserved break right now," Eddie says with a smile, sitting up. "The barbeque is out and cleaned up, and we're almost done with the pool and chairs," he sums up their work so far, pointing vaguely to where everything is. 

"Damn, it's like you don't need me at all, huh?" she asks mostly towards Steve with a tilt of her head. He nibs at her fingers in retaliation before trotting away. "Hey, I was joking!"

But Steve picks up the ball still lying next to Eddie's leg and brings it back to Robin. She looks at him in confusion, so Eddie quickly swoops in with an explanation.

"We were playing fetch!"

The yellow, damp ball falls away from Steve's mouth like he might have just gotten self-conscious about the thing. But Robin takes it in stride, grabbing the toy and straightening up. Her friend quickly forgets his inhibitions and straightens up, hyperfocused on her raised hand. 

"Fair warning, I'm not the best thrower. But I guess I can't be much worse than Munson."

"Hey!"

She proves her words seconds later when the ball barely misses his head and Steve jumps right over his body, making him yelp. 

"Jesus H Christ you two!" he yells at them, but is genuinely happy for his friend enjoying his dog form without second guessing himself. 

He idly picks at the grass, observing them and dodging Buckley's shitty aim, wondering how he would feel if he could shift to a creature loved by everyone and with simple needs and ways to express himself. It sounds freeing, but he likes too many things his opposable thumbs can do, like playing the guitar, petting a dog, or playing fetch. 

Does Steve have things he needs his thumbs for? Is he still playing basketball? Maybe Eddie could teach him the guitar. Or Maybe Steve just needs a healthy balance between human and animal treatment. 

Eddie is so preoccupied with his thoughts, that the next ball Buckley throws boinks right off the side of his head. 

Steve skids to a stop in front of him, eyeing the skittering ball like prey, but in the end, jumps up to Eddie and starts licking at the sore spot, while Buckley yells her apologies in the background. 

"Okay, okay, I'll live! It's just a flesh wound!" he laughs, while Steve's hot tongue is ruining his already questionable fringe. The dog boops his cheek with a cold nose and goes to pick up the ball. Eddie takes it as his clue to stand up and fix himself up a bit.

"It pains me to say it, but I guess it's our sign to get back to work," he sighs, dusting off his knees. Steve shows up next to him, eyes huge and the ball between his teeth. "Nuh-uh, man, we can play more later. We gotta finish the yard today so we only have the food to worry about tomorrow."

Steve huffs, the ball falling from his mouth with a sad thump, but he walks away towards the house, bumping Robin's leg on his way to the back door. While he disappears inside, Eddie jogs up to her. 

"Hey," he says again. "I'm trying to help Steve out of his funk." 

Robin raises her eyebrows. 

"How?" she crosses her arms. 

He suddenly feels uneasy, shifting his weight while trying to give his theories and plans shape. There's no one better to talk it out with than Steve's best friend, so he pushes through. 

"Well, he likes how we treat the dog-him, so I think we should treat him more like that on a daily basis. You know, scratches, praises, and shit," he looks up at Buckley hoping he doesn't sound completely insane. "So he likes being human a bit more."

She hums, glancing back at the house.

"You're right," Robin says to his surprise. It's not something he hears often. "Though I think it works best with you."

"What do you mean?" he asks with a frown. 

But she waves him off, turning to where Steve is emerging through the back door wearing loose sweatpants and with his hairy chest on display. 

"Robs!" he greets his friend with a grin, gathering her for a side hug that quickly turns into a friendly chokehold. 

Eddie hopes Buckley can sense his menacing glare despite their roughhousing.

Tags: @noodle-shenaniganery @jaytriesstrangerthings @imaginary-maggie-waggie @samsoble @croatoan-like-its-hot

@dragonmama76 @storyranger @scoops-aboy86 @ollyxar @estrellami-1

@stevesworldxx @ajeff855 @live-laugh-love-dietrich @thelittleclare @wheneverfeasible

[keeps-ache]

mm i Neeed to go the beach

[bigwishes]

I went to the gym yesterday. I don't go there regularly, just to keep fit. When I was looking for a free locker, I accidentally opened one that was occupied but not locked.

I totally slammed that thing shut like, ASAP, no questions asked! It was, like, a matter of serious honor, you know what I'm saying? Yo, I swear I can't shake off the stench of those gnarly gym clothes from my nostrils!

Like, what's the deal with that, dude! It's like my nose has been hijacked by the funk and it won't let go. Send help, bruh! And y do i say "bruh"?

Hmmm seems like some curse left behind and forgotten, not to worry I'm sure its nothing too serious, in fact a lot of guys get scared by the word "curse" and don't see it for the blessing that it really is. That terrible smell hasn't just latched onto the inside of your nose dude, its latched onto you that's why you smell it non stop and you'll probably notice that when you don't go to the gym for a day the smell gets worse. A little counter intuitive I know but hey some people use thing sort stuff to encourage them to hit the gym more. You might want to up your 1 day a week routine to a 7 days a week policy unless you want to hold the world record for the worlds worst stench by the end of the week.

What's with saying "bruh, bro and duuuhhh" so often you ask? I dunno maybe the original owner of the locker made a wish to fit in at the gym more but that's most of your vocabulary now. You are still you, at least on the inside but nobody really knows about that anymore because you talk like a fucking moron so you get treated like one. It seems your muscles are really ballooning up too. This is probably for the best, you sweat a lot, say bro non stop may as well have the size to go with it otherwise people might think you are weird, better to just conform to the stereotype.

Huh? what's that? "like duhhh, bro can you errrrr, fix duuhhhh curses bro" Sorry my dumbass is a little rusty but I think you're asking for these wonderful gifts to be removed? nah man I won't be doing that you definitely came to the wrong place because I think all men should be like this. In fact I think you'd look better 10x bigger and sweatier but I guess this is a good starting point. But hey, the choice is still yours, either turn into a putrid smelly dumb cunt.....or be that with huge muscles. Better hit the gym dude I can already smell you getting worse.

[samoankpoper21]

Save Me I'm Yours - Jo Togame

Sequel to Numb

Huge thank you to @cherryblossomwitch26 and @calculust-prime 🫶🏽 I'm sorry if this isn't as great as the first one 😅

Jo Togame x chubby! reader

Content warnings: cursing, unprotected sex (wrap it up folks!), p in v, creampie

Genre: slight angst, smut, smut with plot

Word count: 2.5k

ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED 18+! MDNI!

⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰

Watching the rain fall heavily in droves you sighed. You hated rainy days, not for the typical romcom reasons but because rainy days meant unpredictability for the clinic: some rainy days you saw dozens of patients, others meant you saw at most 5; today was the latter. You were also reminded of your nasty spat with Togame, not having seen him since. Deciding to close the clinic early you trudged upstairs to your attached apartment finalizing on a bubble bath; might as well take advantage of this shitty weather and relax.

With the rain having stopped, Togame looked to Choji. "Choji, I need to go. There's someone important to me-"

"Is it that beautiful girl you told me about?" Smiling bashfully he nodded. "Kame-chan, make sure you make things right with her."

Togame ran towards the clinic the sun beaming down slightly warming him. He was excited to tell you about the revelation that he and the rest of Shishitoren had, wanting to tell you about how they finally got their sun back and how, later on down the road, he wanted you to meet Sakura, his new "friend" and the rest of Furin. "Y/N! Y/N!" Attempting to slide the doors of the clinic open he realized that the rainy weather probably didn't bring much patients in. Taking 2 steps up at a time to your attached apartment he turned your doorknob shaking his head and smiling at the fact you never locked your door. Stepping inside your living room he calls out, "Y/N?" Seeing your bedroom door cracked he made his way towards it. Placing a hand over his beating heart he peeled your door open slowly.

"Y/N!" Wrapped only in your towel you turned to see a panting Togame, eyes warm, hair loose from his braid, noting that something was different, a fragment of his former self. Turning back around to your drawer you ask, "What are you doing here Jo?" Smiling he went into detail about the earlier events: how he met this annoying acquaintance named Sakura whom he came to respect, how Sakura made him realize how far he's strayed from his ideals, and finally how Choji was "back from his funk" after having a "conversation" with Furin's leader Hajime Umemiya. A small smile graced your face as you listened; whenever Togame was excited his manner of speech was a tad, just a tad bit faster. Taking a shaky breath closing your drawer with your back still facing him you ask, "That's all great and all Jo but why are you telling me this?"

"Wh-what do you mean why am I telling you all this? You're the first person I think of whenever something happens. Why do you think I always come to you?" Biting your quivering lip you finally turn to him praying that the tears lining your eyes wouldn't fall. Swallowing the lump forming in your throat you finally meet his eyes, your expression deadpan. "I told you the last time that once you go back to Shishitoren that that was the last time you and I would see each other." Seeing him clench and unclench his bruised, skin rubbed raw fists your eyebrows shot up. "Are you here so I can patch you up again? Is that it?" Togame knew you were hurt, he's attuned to your emotions after years of being together. "Y/N, I'm saying that Shishitoren has finally found its sun again, that we'll continue on the path that we were originally on." Turning to your drawer rummaging for a pair of panties you walked past him saying, "Well I guess I should go say thanks to Umemiya-san then." Grabbing your wrist preventing you from going any further he stutters out his eyes scanning your face frantically, "Wha-why would you say thanks to Umemiya-san?"

"For knocking some got damn sense in your head!" Inhaling deeply he lets out a breath, his hold on your wrist tightening slightly. "Y/N-"

"I heard about all the shit you've done: 'skinning' people for not being strong enough, that's practically picking on the weak! You guys might as well call yourselves SHITTYtoren! If that's really what your stupid devotion to power means, to bully those who aren't as strong as you all, then we can't be friends." His grip tightening, head tilted, he drawls out, "Friends? When were we ever friends Y/N?"

"Let go of me Jo. I want to get dressed and express my gratitude to Umemiya." Pulling you flush against his chest you squeaked looking up into his emerald eyes, his right hand finding purchase on the roll above your love handle. "Answer my question Y/N," he breaths against your lips. Gulping you quip, "T-the fuck do you mean? We've been friends since we were little."

"Wrong." Tearing your gaze away from the intensity of his stare you retort, "I don't have time for your games Jo." You stiffened when you felt his forehead press against yours, his eyes closed Togame inhaled slowly, taking in your scent, this moment. "I know I've hurt you, you know I'm bad with my words, and I realize that sorry won't fix this but please forgive me. You are so much more to me than a friend." Feeling your lip quiver you look up meeting his soft gaze, his adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed a bit of saliva. "Don't look at Umemiya-san," his heart pace quickening at the realization that you're still in your towel. "Don't look at Sakura," he whispers against your skin, goosebumps forming in his wake. "Only look at me." he licks at the exposed column of your neck, you bit down on your lip trying to contain the moan wanting to escape. Planting your hands firmly against his chest you pushed against him slightly creating space, you were feeling a small tinge of suffocation. Biting your trembling lips looking away from him you whisper, "You really hurt me Jo. I don't even know-" Taking a cautious step forward he closed the distance between the two of you. You wanted to run, make him suffer for all the negative emotions he put you through the past weeks but your heart kept your feet planted. Keeping your face downward you felt his breath tickling your forehead. Gently tilting your face towards him he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, your eyes closed leading him to peck your eyelids, your cheeks followed, and finally he whispered out, "'m sorry Y/N. Let me show you how sorry I am sweetheart." He gently pecked your lips the tears you were trying to hold finally breaking free from the dam. Swiping your tears with his thumbs Togame murmured, "My poor baby. I know I'm a bad man, such an asshole to my beautiful baby." You gasped, eyes flying open, when you felt the wet swipe of his tongue against your cheeks, licking at your tears peppering kisses. "'m sorry."

Once the tears subsided you reached up cupping his face bringing his forehead against yours. "Y/N?"

"Let's just stay like this for a bit...please?" Noticing the goosebumps now decorating your skin he chides, "You should hurry up and get dressed. Don't want you getting sick." He pressed a kiss on your forehead about to pull away when you stop him. "Y/N?" Looking away with a blush dusting your cheeks you quickly peck his lips, almost laughing at how wide his eyes got. Groaning running a hand down his face you silently gasped when you saw the pure lust in his eyes. "'s not fair. You can't start something and not finish it."

Smirking you quip back, "Looks like you're gonna have to beg for it." He gently walks you backwards until your legs hit your bed frame making you sit. Dropping down on his knees in front of you he sat not moving. "To-Togame?"

"You did want to see me beg."

"Eh?!?" Togame scooted closer to you grabbing your right ankle planting a firm kiss on it. Slowly dragging his tongue against your calf your lips were caught between your teeth, his head turned slightly planting another kiss on the inner corner of your knee. You gasped when he finally looked at you, his pupils blown out, hair tousled when he nips and sucks on your inner thighs, pleading, "Forgive me Y/N." You could feel yourself getting more aroused as he continued his slow sensual ministrations along your left leg. Pushing your towel past your hips he begs, "Please?" With this new switch in power you couldn't help but revel in the fact that you had this aloof 6',1' man on his knees in front of you, worshiping your half naked body in all its glory, rolls, dips, and all. You could feel your wetness seeping through your thighs, squirming at the new position. Tilting his chin up you ask, "What do you want Togame?"

"Want-no need ta show you how sorry I am."

"Show me then." Togame peeled your legs open groaning at your slick folds, watching your pussy clench and unclench around nothing, your clit at attention. Wrapping his arms around your thick thighs he inhaled slowly, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Gawd he missed this. You. Licking a long, slow stripe he stopped at your clit, his tongue circling the tiny bud, Togame groaning at your saccharine taste. He sucked and licked his way towards your entrance, his tongue circling and swirling against your folds. "Mmph, Togame, more." Tightening his grasp on your thighs he pulled you more towards the edge of your bed causing you to lay back as he began slurping and eating you out like a man starved. Gathering some of your slick with his middle finger he slid it into your entrance while drawing circles on your clit with his tongue. Adding his ring finger after feeling your walls opening up he glided his fingers in and out of you in a slow pace watching as you buck and rock your hips, some of your sweet juices spilling into the cup of his hand. "Togame please stop teasing me." Sucking on your clit he added a third finger wanting to burst at how your pussy stretched, intoxicated by how long and drawn out your moans were. Moving and scissoring his fingers in rapid succession he bent them forwards and upwards against that spongy spot in your pussy. "O-oh Togame! Right there!" Tangling your fingers in the depths of his black trenches you dragged your pussy up and down his face and fingers. "Fuck sweetheart you're soaked. Listen to her." Falling silent for a brief moment your pussy tightened around his fingers as you listened to the squelching noises coming from below. "Fuuuck Togame."

"Come on sweetheart, cum on my face."

"To-Aaaaaah!" your legs shook as your thighs trapped his face in place, fingers pulling roughly at his black trenches as your orgasm hit you hard. Attempting to catch your breath you slowly unhooked your legs from his grasp. "Sorry." you offer sheepishly.

"Don't be sweetheart." you watched intently as he slowly licked his digits clean, his tongue circling the tips of his fingers. Traveling the length of him you took in his bulge, your mouth already salivating. You missed his taste, his scent. Him. Sitting up reaching for the waist band of his sweats he gently swats your hand away. "Nuh uh sweetheart, today is about you."

"But I want to make you feel good."

"You will don't worry." Slowly stripping himself of his shirt, boxers, and sweats you rubbed your thighs in anticipation, licking your lips when your heard the loud smack of the tip of his cock hitting his stomach. Pushing yourself up towards the headboard he climbed in between your legs prying your legs open. "Damn," he whistled. "You're so fucking beautiful." Grabbing his cock by the base he rubbed it up, down, against your folds tantalizingly slow. "Togameee." you whined. Slapping his tip against your clit you jolted. "Can't believe you thought we were just friends." he spat out. Alternating between slapping and rubbing his tip against your clit he continued to tease you. "Here I was thinking I was yours and you were mine."

"Togameeee-" Without warning he slid into you, his hips flush against yours in one go, your mouth agape, his jaw clenched. His thrusts were slow and languid, each one punctured deep into your gummy walls. "Here I was thinking you were smart because of all those damn books you read but it looks like you couldn't even tell how I felt about you. How I've always felt about you. 's ok, 's probably my fault anyway." Lifting your hips up a little higher, he leaned back against the haunches of his feet pounding into you, the new angle making you gasp at how deep his thick, long cock was reaching, his ever observant gaze watching your breasts bounce and sway. "To-Togame."

"Tell me you're mine Y/N." You couldn't get the words out if you wanted to, his cock hitting your g-spot repeatedly made you into a moaning mess. "Y/N," he demanded (pleaded). "Need you to tell me you're mine."

"To-Togame pleeeasse." Smirking he drawls out, "What's wrong sweetheart? Dick so good can't think straight?" Moaning as a response he kept your hips in place as his hips snapped against yours furiously. Through lidded eyes you watched the sweat drip down his forehead, his luscious black locks falling in front of his face, pecs and abs flexing at each powerful thrust he was delivering, veins more prominent. Locking eyes with you his jaw clenched as he felt your gummy wet walls squeezing him oh so good. He wanted, no needed, to hear you say it before he came. Cupping your chin firmly he demands, "Don't make me tell you again Y/N. Tell me you're mine." Feeling the tightness in your belly threatening to snap you yell out, "Yesyesyes Togame. I'm yours, all yours, only you!"

"Good girl." With those two words you screamed as the tightness in your belly snapped, your vision white, ears ringing. Togame's jaw clenched as your pussy squeezed him tighter, he groaned his release into you, hands a bruising grip on your hips, your walls painted white with his hot, thick, cum. Laying there panting trying to catch your breaths you felt wet lips peck and suck at your collarbone. "Togame," you giggled. "Stop that." Pulling out of you slowly he made his way to your bathroom wetting a washcloth wiping you and him down tossing it on your bed stand once he was done.

Pulling you against his chest he chuckles, "Soooo SHITTYtoren huh?" Groaning hiding your face in your hands you beg, "Oh my gawd please don't tell them I said that." He barked out a hearty laugh, your heart warming at the sound. You reached up caressing his cheek, he took that same hand planting a kiss on the inside of your palm. "I love you." Togame affirms.

"I love you too."

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───>>

A/N: Hello! Thank you for showing so much love to the first part of this ^^ to be honest this second part was actually inspired by BTS' Save Me ^^ I wasn't thinking of the first part, I was more focused on the second part lolol Anway make sure to check BTS out! Enjoy~!!

[jonquilyst]

Day 19 - Socialization Day

Guess what, kids? It's almost time for THE MERGE! This is the final socialization day before our teams dissolve for good. Tomorrow, our final challenge with the teams will take place, so today will be especially important for both within-team and cross-team bonding!

Alanna (IN) and Avery (IN) make sure to reinforce their friendship by showing each other funny videos at breakfast!

Marilyn (OD), Tomiko (OD), and Nite (OD) do the same thing and have a silly chat together!

However, Avery was not the only contestant Alanna bonded with today. Let's just say that Alanna and Estrello (IN) have been becoming... quite close 🤭 I caught Alanna sharing her leftover breakfast with Estrello this afternoon and it made me melt 😭

Ziggy (OD) was kind of in a funk today and didn't do much socializing. I think he's pretty upset about Raylan's departure, and with his teammates becoming pretty close among each other, Ziggy knows that there's a real possibility he might be choked out of his position on the plane if his team loses tomorrow...

It was a lively evening for Team Integrity, who threw themselves a dance party to hype themselves up for tomorrow's challenge!

On the flip side, it was a quiet night for Team Odyssey. Both Nite and Tomiko were unusually tired today and decided to go to bed early.

Our final socialization day with the teams closes off with Team Integrity having a close late-night chat among each other (barring Matteo as he wanted to go to bed)

Today's Confessional: Estrello Pyre

"There's something about Alanna that's just... amazing. She's talented, kind, funny, and not to mention pretty... I think her wanting to experience an adventure like the ones in her stories is one of the coolest things about her. I really hope that Total Drama Sims has lived up to her expectations."

"I'm happy to have Alanna because I historically haven't had a lot of friends in the past... Team Integrity has helped with that, but ever since I started hanging out with Alanna, she has really helped me. I think we just connect really well and... I get excited whenever I see her in the morning."

"Now that the teams are gonna break up, I'm vowing to always help Alanna, even if it ends up in my elimination. I've decided that if I don't win, she should win instead."

@kari-sims @paracosmic-sims @lyratea @hellogreta @aliengirl

@kissalopa @invisiblequeen @ethicaltreatmentofcowplants @matchalovertrait

[rederiswrites]

Oh for goodness' sake.

Went to Urgent Care for persistent, worsening pain in my back. Don't worry about that part, that's not the story. Came home, found the kitchen full of smoke from cooking burgers in our badly designed oven broiler. Turned on the fan and went to open the window, but got interrupted by a call from Phantom's room. Went to find Binabik tangled in the blinds cord and peeing on the floor. Lamb untangled, I went to get a rag to clean the floor. I ask, and find out that Binabik is an hour overdue for his bottle. Okay, I'm hungry, but first I'll make up his bottle I guess.

On my way to the laundry hamper with the dirty rag, I get stopped by my husband with the news that there is a THIRD set of twins, brand spanking new and still gooey, and Mama isn't currently with them. He's hauled the chain link dog kennel out to the field, and wants help trying to catch Mama and babies in there together in hopes that they'll sort themselves out. I turn over bottle feeding duties to the boy, we grab lights (it's full dark outside), and out we go.

The babies are separated from each other and from Mama, crying piteously. Mama, identifiable when the light catches the trailing strings of afterbirth, is baaing, but refuses to be herded to her babies in the kennel.

Finally, we give up for the moment and go inside to give it half an hour and see if she'll figure it out herself. It's chilly out and the babies need to be dried and get colostrum as soon as possible, but the more we handle them, the less likely she is to bond properly. Two more bottle babies might send us all screaming into the night.

Not wanting to get blood all over two jackets tonight, I just remove the worst of the...hmmm... globs, let's say, and set it aside for later. I go to get a glass for water. Ah, sister in law's recent artsy experimentations provides the perfect thing:

Uncle Funk's Critter Gunk indeed.

[lj-lephemstar]

Progress Checkup! (Jan. 2025) | Scratchin' Melodii Devlog

Hey guys! Time for another progress checkup; This is actually the first one of the new year! I hope you were all able to enjoy the holidays. I took a bit of a break from working on most stuff last month and have been getting back on things this month. First, I wanna thank everyone who's wishlisted Scratchin' Melodii on Steam! So far, the game's gotten over 17,000 wishlists! Thanks so much for the support!

In the previous devlog, I mentioned some changes to the rhythm system. In the Dragon Funk preview, you can see the new rhythm system and character icons I mentioned in the previous devlog! Actually, let's unpack some of the new things you're seeing in action there:

Hold Notes This is the first song in the game to include hold-notes! They mostly work the same as they would in any other rhythm game. However, since this game has an emphasis on self expression, moving the control stick during these will let you tune the note's pitch-bend for extra expression points! I showed that off in a post here. As for Pow Notes, I've been working on a way to let the player get expression points from these too! I'd like for most of the special notes like these to be not just a gimmick, but a tool that the player can use to their advantage.

Quadruple Lines Yep! The first blue line in this one is extra long and has 4 rows! Fun fact actually, I had to implement this feature after I realized that part of the song was too long to fit in just two rows. It was pretty difficult to figure out both how to do it and how to execute it in a way that doesn't feel too jarring, but I'm pretty satisfied with the results! In fact, barely anyone's even noticed it; I guess that's just how natural it feels! Not sure how much more often I'll be having lines longer than two rows, but it's great that I have the option now.

AutoPlay You might also notice that the player inputs are perfectly timed... TOO perfect... that's because I've developed an autoplay feature for the game! At the moment, it's mostly for debugging and stuff, but if all goes according to plan, AutoPlay Mode and Replays should hopefully be available to players as well in some form when the game comes out!

"Next" Indicator & Other UI Related QoL Some of the top things players said they had trouble with in the demo were related to being prepared for the next line. So, if you look at the right-end of the rhythm bars, you'll see a little tab that shows the color and amount of rows the next line will have! Also, now each line's suggested notes can be seen before the rival performs them. This did take some thought, as I actually kinda still liked the idea of it appearing as if the characters were making it up on the spot, but to put game design first, it makes more sense to have it displayed as soon as possible so the player has more time to react and prepare. This also opens up more possibilities for future mechanics, so in the long run, I think I've made the best choice here.

Now, let's get into what I've been and/or will be working on that you haven't seen yet!

Act 2's Boss The music for the Act 2 Boss is  nearly complete! I'll likely be starting to animate it pretty soon. This song is the longest one I've done so far, clocking at a duration of a little over 3 minutes long!

More Animation Updates for Stir & Mix At this point, I've done even more cleanups on the sequence you saw in the last devlog and I've finished animating the "I wanna" scene of the song, which will probably have the most changes out of any other scene in the song. When I first animated Stir & Mix, I didn't quite have the time or skills to do everything I really wanted to do with it. That scene in particular I felt was WAY too stiff and boring, especially compared to the more dynamic and fluid scenes that appear in some of the other the stages now. I'd say I'm about halfway done retouching all the animations for this one!

Refined Model Sheets I don't talk about these very often, but sometime around 2023 I started using model/reference sheets for the characters. (I might show them off someday, but for now they're staying private!) Before this point, the designs are pretty inconsistent from shot to shot, so this helped a lot with that. Recently, I've done some revisions I'm really pleased with. Their designs are finally becoming... well, final! I'll be reworking the affected characters' hub world sprites at some point to reflect these changes.

Slight Reworks for some Act 1 Songs On the sound side, Stir & Mix's vocals have been reworked again! As I've mentioned in the previous devlog, 2cada's tuning style and techniques have evolved a bit since we first started working together, so we thought it'd be fun to go back and incorporate some of that into it. We'll also probably be reworking the structure of Nami's song a little bit at some point just to make it a feel a bit more solid, which may require a new line or two from her voice actor, Meggie-Elise! So funnily enough, it seems some of the songs will have end up having TWO unused beta versions after this.

Also, a quick PSA: Please note that beta versions of content will NOT be included in the full game. I've heard people ask for them to be "brought back" or toggleable, but in my situation something like that is both easier said than done and I also just... don't want to LOL. With as many directions I can take this game, I know I can't satisfy everyone, but I can make a game that satisfies me, so I'm aiming for that! And hey, maybe other people will like it too.

I think that's all I wanna talk about for now! Thanks so much for reading. It can be a bit of a daunting task to write these at times, but I'm glad to keep you up to date on the project when I can.

-LJ