#i hate being understanding because white hot anger and hatred is easier

[why-fucking-bother-anymore]

I swear I've gone through every emotion known to man.... (And then some) today...

[turnupswritessometimes]

Scars - KyoRu - Fruits Basket - Oneshot

Title: Scars

Word Count: 3102

Description:   She had lied to him. Kyo wouldn’t have ever known – he never would have known. But it wasn’t like he meant to see. Really, it was her fault for leaving the door open when she was in the bath. He had only seen for a moment. That moment had been enough. It had been enough of a glance for him to see the silvery scars stretching over her neck and shoulder like lace. Scars that had come from him. His claws. * Set after the True Form arc. They say in the manga, Kyo doesn't leave any scars on Tohru, but I wanted to explore if he did. Hurt/comfort to a little bit of fluff.

Note: This is available on A03. I would post a link, but then Tumblr wouldn’t include it in search results.

She had lied to him.

Kyo wouldn’t have ever known – he never would have known.  But it wasn’t like he meant to see. Really, it was her fault for leaving the door open when she was in the bath.

He had only seen for a moment – a flash of her pale back and her long hair tied in a neat bun on the top of her head. She hadn’t even turned around all the way, before his face was burning and he was slamming the door shut with such force that it shook the walls. That moment had been enough. It had been enough of a glance for him to see the silvery scars stretching over her neck and shoulder like lace. Scars that had come from him. His claws.

She had laughed it off when she came into the front room in those oversized pyjamas of hers. Ridiculously cliché, button up at the front pyjamas like something out of a storybook. Of course, they suited her, and Tohru’s friends were right, pink really was her colour. That was good, because Kyo’s face was still much the same colour.

“I’m so sorry, Kyo-kun, I just wasn’t thinking!” she said, sitting down like everything was normal.

Shigure muttered something about Kyo being lucky, though his eyes never strayed from the game show rerun on the TV – Kyo hoped he was just leaning into that bizarre creepy Uncle joke. Yuki simply gave him a look of pure disgust and disdain – a more intense version of the way he normally looked at him.

“I didn’t damn well mean to see!” Kyo had snapped.

His eyes had flickered to hers as he said it. He couldn’t help glancing at her shoulder, though the scars were covered now. Just the thought of them made a lump appear in his throat, like he had swallowed a plum. A plum that seemed to dry out his whole mouth and send his head reeling.

So, he stormed out of the room.

Kyo couldn’t deal with all those emotions – rage, guilt, disgust, remorse – and his master had always taught him to just walk away when that happened, so that he didn’t explode. He couldn’t head to the roof. She knew he always stormed there, so he hid himself in his room, stormed across it and flung himself down on his bed and-

Brooded.

The moment was gone. He was alone. What now? He’d never been told what to do next. Calm down, he guessed. Easier said than done. Kyo sat there, one hand curved into a fist as he stared at the wall. How long did he sit here and stew in his own guilt and hate and loathing? It just sat there, washing through him like a wave – like he was floating in the ocean and was being dragged along by the tide.

He was drowning.

He heard footsteps and listened to them fade away. He swallowed, paying attention to the bile receding down his throat. It was still sore, like he’d swallowed a dagger. He fell backwards onto the bed and lay staring at the ceiling. The tree outside cast shadows across the blank white ceiling like reaching fingers.

So, take him already, he thought. If he couldn’t drown, then just take him away from here, and be done with it. He was lying on a book. It was digging into his back. But he couldn’t find the energy to move.

The footsteps returned. There was a knock at the door.

“No.”

The door opened anyway. Enough for him to get a glance of a big, brown eye. Like a Shiba Inu asking to be let in. She never listened to him.

“You saw, didn’t you?”

Tohru’s voice was soft. A strange mix of nervous, embarrassed and apologetic.

Kyo had meant to reply – that was why he sat up, but the bile surged up again and silenced his words. It was all he could do to clench his jaw and nod.

“I’m sorry, I-“ Tohru was opening the door all the way, stepping into the room. She stopped at the sound of his voice.

“The hell are you apologising for?” his voice was more of a growl than his usual bark. “It’s not your fault, is it? You’re not the reason you have-“ he couldn’t say it. “Just – shut up.”

It was a weak ending, he knew it. But what else could he say? There was nothing to make this better.

“I’m sorry that you saw,” Tohru’s voice had none of its usual quiver. When he looked up, he found a determined stare on her face. She was sorry – he could see in her eyes – but she wasn’t apologising. Which was infuriating – because it was the one thing, she did too much and the one thing Kyo told her not to do so much. Now she seemed to be taking his advice – and that made the corners of his rebellious mouth twitch upwards.

But then the anger returned.

“Are you sorry that you lied to me?”

She winced then. At the harshness in his voice, but she also didn’t hesitate. She had thought her answers through.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” she said.

Kyo slammed his fist against the headboard. His flash of fury, like a flash of lightning, had demanded to be let out. He was bad at controlling his temper – that was what everyone had always said about him.

“You should have told me, dammit!” he snapped. “You should have said – that I – I scarred you! Do you not get that?! That’s on you for life. I. Scarred. You. For. Life. It’s my fault – it’s my fault that you have –! You should hate me – you should punch me!”

He leapt to his feet and stalked over to her. Tohru’s face was blurred in his vision, but that was because of how close he was. Definitely that and not the fact the plum in his throat had exploded into mush. He could still see that her skin was pale, and she was swallowing hard, as though she was trying to keep the tears in her eyes spilling onto her cheeks. Her eyes were just two dark blurs, wide and staring back at Kyo.

But she stood her ground, her hands clamped at her sides and her jaw set.

He grabbed her wrist. It seemed pitifully thin underneath his fingers, like it would snap under his fury. He pulled her hand up, and to his surprise she resisted him. Clenching her wrist underneath his fingers. She was really trying, but he was stronger. Her pulled her fist up so that it hovered near his face.

“Go on!” he yelled and Tohru winced again, her eyes on her hand. “Hit me! Hurt me as much as I hurt you! Come on!”

His hand fell.

It was like a rock at his side and he was panting as he stared at her, searching for any sign of hatred. Any sign of bitterness. Because there had to be – she had to hate him. She just couldn’t be this nice and understanding. No one could be. The cat wasn’t meant to be treated with kindness. The cat was meant to be hated and why didn’t she hate him when he had hurt her – she was the one he had genuinely hurt –

Tohru had to hate him.

Her hand wavered in the air, a trembling butterfly.

It alighted on his cheek. Soft but cold. Steady but trembling.

“I can’t hurt you, Kyo-kun,” she said, her face sombre as though she were delivering bad news to a loved one. Something in her had changed. No, not changed, it had just come to the surface how strong Tohru really was. “Not when I know you never meant to hurt me.”

“I did,” Kyo’s voice cracked and he felt something drip down his cheek. “I did. I did want to hurt you.”

“That was just because you were scared. And that’s okay,” Tohru said. She was close, a shaking hand moving up to cup his other cheek. “It’s okay.”

His eyes were hot. Hot and itchy and he wanted Tohru to stop touching him – to get away from him, because she couldn’t see him like this. No one could see him like this.

No one usually saw him like this. No one had ever touched him when he was like this. Not when he was snarling and hissing.

But now Tohru was there – right in front of his face, even though his vision was blurring again. Much worse this time and he couldn’t stop the tears.

And Tohru could see. She could see everything. She could see the rage, guilt, disgust and remorse, but she wasn’t leaving. And Kyo was staying, because for some reason that was okay. For some reason, part of him wanted her to see. Then she would understand – she would understand this feeling in his chest that felt like fire and ice and as if he was full of butterflies that he couldn’t put into words.

Kyo’s arms moved without his mind registering. They wrapped themselves around Tohru’s waist, pulling her closer towards him. Her hands slipped from his face as he rested his chin on her shoulder. She had one hand in his hair, another curling itself around his neck as if he was a wooden post in the middle of a stormy sea.

He was holding her too tightly – he realised just as the air was filled with smoke and he was transforming. Still held in her arms, though now his legs dangled off of the floor and he had dug his claws into her shoulder because of the shock. That was probably hurting her – he retracted them. Then, allowed his eyes to squeeze shut for just a moment, before he tried to untangle himself. Before he hurt her – just like he had before.

But Tohru didn’t let him go. She clung to him, just as tight. Too tight.

It could have been the longest time Kyo had ever been hugged for. It felt good – considering he could barely breathe through the pain in his throat, and his eyes were itchy with tears and he thought he might be shaking, but that might have been Tohru. It felt like he was realising all of the emotions he didn’t know what to do with around them. Like they both were. Tohru was taking his rage and taming the storm – showing him there was nothing to be angry about because she wasn’t “angry and don’t be at yourself, because there’s nothing you can do about it now.” There was nothing to be guilty about because “it’s better that it strengthens us, than tears us apart. I don’t want to be torn apart from you, Kyo-kun.” There was nothing to be said about because she was “happy. Happy for all of the time that she got to spend with the Sohmas, and if she got a few scars helping them, then fine. It was worth it. It was worth this.”

Kyo wished he could have replied. But he was still choking on that plum in his throat and waiting for the pain to subside in his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Tohru whispered, the breath of a butterfly drifting by his ear. She had knelt down now, and his hind legs had found purchase on her knee. “I’m sorry for scaring you.”

That – impossibly – made him chuckle. Not even really a chuckle, an exhale of breath and a slight upwards turn of his mouth. He pinched his claws into her skin very lightly for just a moment, so that she got the message.

“You’re sorry?” he muttered. He could feel her heart hammering in her chest – just under his. Could feel his own, pounding steadily under her ear. He could feel both heartbeats in every muscle of his body. “I’m the one who’s-“ a monster. “Cursed.”

"You didn't do anything to get cursed," Tohru said.

"I hurt you." He stared at the fabric of her shirt. Underneath his paws were silver, spiderweb scars.

"Ah, but you hurt me after you were cursed." She pulled away and - impossibly - smiled down at him. That almost cheeky smile that made her entire face glow like she was a star captured on earth. "So that's not a reason for you being cursed in the first place."

"Maybe it was a pre-emptive curse," Kyo said, because he needed to argue. He had to, because so much of those horrible emotions had gone. They had left a huge void in him that his heartbeat was echoing in and he needed something to fill it. "Because I  would hurt you, I was cursed ahead of time."

"That's not how curses work." Tohru was still smiling, as she shook her head, slightly, and finally let him hop back down to the ground.

"Oh, I didn't realise you were some kind of curse expert." He shook himself out, stretching his tail as far as it would go.

"Well, no - I'm not, but-"

"So how do you know there can't be a pre-motive curse?" Kyo sat and cocked his head to the side. He didn’t even realise that he was smiling at her. More of a smirk, really. The kind of smirk he had when he was winding up Yuki.

"Because you can't be cursed for something that was my fault!"

"It was my fault, dammit!"

"Well maybe I'm the one who's cursed,” Tohru cried, which was just completely nonsensical to the whole conversation.

He was saved from coming up with a counter argument by another puff of smoke and the return of a human body. Which, of course, made Tohru yelp and turn away as he tugged his clothes back on. It was strange, he hadn’t even thought much about the transformation. He had noticed it, but there wasn’t quite as much loathing at her seeing it. It wasn’t so uncomfortable to have her sat there talking to him as a cat. It was just like being with her normally.

He liked being with her normally, he realised.

"Idiot." Kyo surprised himself by how soft his voice sounded. The small chuckle that came out of him surprised him even more. For some reason, his hand was on Tohru's head and it was ruffling her hair.  "If anything, you're a blessing."

She stared up at him. Her eyes were still damp, like the tears had been caught in a net. It took a long moment, but then she smiled again. A grin, really, that made her large eyes twinkle like the star that she was. Only this grin had pink cheeks to accompany it.

"I didn't - I didn't mean that in a weird way, or anything. I just meant-"

"Thank you, Kyo-kun," Tohru said. Her hands were suddenly clasping Kyo’s. They were still cold and trembling, but still sent a rush of warmth through him. "And thank you for being so worried."

"Well, it's-" jeez, it really was warm in here. Kyo faced the window to try and get a breeze to cool his face down. "It's only right, right?" He paused, using his free hand to rub at the back of his neck. “Thanks for – I don’t know, checking up on me, I guess.”

“You’re a real gentleman, Kyo-kun.” Tohru said. Her fingers slipped from his hand rather than let it go, and he immediately missed its presence. It hadn’t been an unpleasant sensation. “One of the Sohma Princes.”

What the hell was she going on about now? Kyo had no idea, but he did snort at the notion. Sohma Prince, indeed.

“Yeah, more like Beauty and the Beast,” he said, sitting back down on his bed. He had sat on a book. He moved it aside.

“Oh, I love Beauty and the Beast,” Tohru said, sitting right by him as if this had been a perfectly normal evening. He supposed it was, for the Sohma household. “But Cinderella is also nice too – and Alice in Wonderland is really interesting!”

She burbled on a bit longer and Kyo half-listened to her. He was concentrating more on the way her face lit up – the dreamy, far off look that appeared in her brown eyes. She was – incredible really, and she didn’t know it.

Tohru trailed off when she glanced at him. There must have been a weird expression on his face – but he didn’t feel like changing it. She had seen the ugly side of him tonight – the hateful side – now maybe she could see the flip of that.

“Thank you,” he said. “For tonight.”

“That’s what the year of the cat fan club is for!” She was trying a little too hard now punching him lightly on the shoulder and grinning at him so widely that it was a near impossible feat not to grin back. Fortunately, Kyo was getting used to the light of Tohru’s star – and her punches were still as weak as ever.

“Yeah, whatever,” he said. And realised he hadn’t succeeded completely – he was smirking. The fan club thing was some bullshit, and yet it brought that warm feeling back. The warm feeling was feeling the emptiness of his stomach and that was good. He brushed his knuckles against her shoulder in return. “Don’t you have rat boy’s homework to be copying off of?”

“Yuki-kun only helps me with my homework-“

“And we have a history pop-quiz tomorrow.”

“Then I’d better get to work!” Tohru hopped up from the bed, panic mixing into determination. She was crossing the room much too quickly for Kyo’s liking. He was finding that he didn’t want her to leave yet, after all.

“Tohru,” he said. And waited until she had turned back to him so that he could see her face as he asked, “Will you let me see them? Not now, but – one day?”

She blinked at him for a moment, not understanding. Then her hand went up to her shoulder and her expression softened. She nodded.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“And – uh-“ It really was boiling in here. His face felt like it was on fire and his heart was racing for some reason. It was like getting in a bath that was much too hot. “I get better results than that damn rat, so if you ever need any help with homework – you can – you can come to me, if you like.”

Maybe he wasn’t used to the light of Tohru’s star after all. She seemed to fill the whole room with that smile of hers, and he couldn’t look anywhere but at her.

“Thank you. Kyo-kun.”

[sm-entertain-me]

Savior

Contains: Smut, adult language, Min Yoongi x (f) reader

Synopsis: When you’re being hassled at a local bar, a man clad in dark clothing as dark as his eyes fills the position of being your savior.

God, being in this bar was probably the worst mistake you’ve made in a long time, and you’ve had your fair share of mistakes. The music was being played way too loud for you to even enjoy the experience, the alcohol was cheap and tasted so, the women in here were just looking for some guys to take them home, and you were just trying to unwind since you had such a hard day at work. Your boss has constantly been on your ass for your procrastination of a semi-important briefing and threatened to fire you if you didn’t get your shit together. Your friends had miraculously gotten “super busy” last minute and flaked, even though they already knew how much you hated your day by the amount of complaint filled texts you had sent them throughout the day. 

Sighing, your hands gripped tightly at the neck of the beer bottle, wincing as you threw your head back to finish the rest since it tasted so bad. Of course, the only beer they sold at the bar that you’ve heard of was Keystone Light, and we all know how shitty that tastes. Your eyes flickered around the bar, taking in the rather drab scene. Most of the guys in the bar were crowded over the pool table because they had place bets on who would win the matches, a few ladies in super short skirts hanging onto their arms and acting like they were interested so they could score a few free drinks. You scoffed at the desperate scene unfolding in front of you as you got the bartender’s attention, signalling that you wanted one more beer before heading back out. Instead, the bartender pulled out a shot glass and set it down in front of you while he filled it with a clear liquid that reeked of tequila. Your eyebrows scrunched together as you looked at the bartender in confusion, silently asking him why he would give you tequila instead of the drink you requested in the first place. The bartender set the bottle back into its place on the shelf and pushed the glass in front of you, then motioning down the line at a group of men who were smiling at you, “They wanted to buy you a drink. My guess is they got you tequila to make it easier to get into your pants. But you seem like you can handle yourself by the way you double fisted those beers earlier.”

Reluctantly, your hands gripped the glass and brought it slowly to your lips, but not before you said thank you to the bartender as you were raised with common decency as a human being. Your eyes shot to the two men who held their beer to their lips, their eyes never faltering from yours as they winked at you after they had raised their beer bottles to you. Of course, you didn’t want to seem rude, so you gave them a half-assed smile and knocked the shot back, the cold liquid burning intensely as it rushed down your throat. A small cough escaped your lips as you slammed the glass upside down on the counter, telling the bartender you didn’t want anything else as you paid for the three beers you had tonight. He asked if you had planned on driving home, concern lining his voice, but you assured him that you only lived a couple minutes away so you wouldn’t be on the road. It’s not like you were drunk either, just a little buzzed. That tequila shot was really the thing that pushed you over the edge to become buzzed and you didn’t like the feeling, so that’s why you made the decision to leave the bar. But as you were leaving, you felt a hand grab your wrist a little more tightly than you would’ve liked.

Turning your body slightly, you came face to face with one of the guys who had bought you the tequila shot. “Can I help you?” You seethed at him, yanking your arm out of his grip since you weren’t too keen on random strangers grabbing you, especially at one in the morning and when you were slightly buzzed. The man had sandy blonde hair that reached over his ears and he had stark blue eyes that glistened at you. He seemed like the kind of guy you would normally go for had he not invaded your personal space. “Well I bought you a drink so I feel like you owe me some kind of conversation before you just up and leave,” The guy said, a rude tone hiding in his voice accompanied by the hardened look he gave you. Taken aback, you continued to walk out the door as you spoke to him over your shoulder, “I don’t owe you a damn thing. You decided to buy that drink for me so you could get into my pants. Now leave me alone. Thanks for the drink though.”

Well, he didn’t really like that response and he yanked you back into the bar and pinned you against the wall, his hot breath reeking of alcohol attacking your cheek. Anger filled his eyes as he glowered at you, his hands on either side of your neck as he had no intention of letting you leave without getting something he wanted out of you. His teeth were gritted as he glared at your cheek since you had turned away from him, terrified, “I’m not fucking letting you leave. I bought that drink for you and you’re going to give me your number or else.” You turned your head to face him to see if he was being serious, and serious he was as his stare could easily pierce through you like daggers. You could feel your throat tightening as you became frightened at what the man might do to you, and no one in the bar seemed to care that you were in a very compromising position. “Or else what?” A deep voice sounded from behind the man, the body belonging to the voice being slightly hidden from the man’s stature blocking your view. The man who was holding you prisoner turned around slightly, coming face to face with the man who had come to your rescue, “Fuck off Yoongi, this one’s mine.” The man addressed as Yoongi had eyes as cold as ice as he glared at the guy with such intense hatred that you were convinced he was going to kill him, but softened his stare slightly as he bent around the guy and looked at how frightened you were, “She doesn’t look like she wants to be yours. Matter of fact, she looks like she wants to get the fuck away from you.”

The guy who pinned you against the wall earlier focused all of his attention on Yoongi, yelling and cursing at him, throwing empty threats at Yoongi as they seemed to bounce off of him with no effect at all. Yoongi rolled his eyes at the guy and moved swiftly as his patience had finally ran out, grabbing the guy by his shirt collar and slamming him against the wall just mere inches from where you were standing. Finally, you could see Yoongi clearly as he stood next to you, his brown hair contained in a backwards snap back as he adorned a black leather jacket, a simple white tee shirt, black ripped jeans, and black leather boots; embodying the epitome of a bad boy. Yoongi’s jaw was locked tight as he glared into the man’s eyes, his grip tightening slightly around his collar so that it started to cut off circulation as he had him raised slightly off of the ground, “If I ever see you harassing another woman in my bar again, I will bash your teeth in so fucking hard that you’ll be swallowing teeth for a week, you understand me?” The guy trembled underneath Yoongi’s grasp as he managed to squeak out, “Y-Yes.” Yoongi finally decided to let the guy drop to the ground after releasing his collar, glowering down at him and drawing his fist back as if to punch him but ended up being satisfied by the way the once intimidating man quaked in his shoes, “Good. Now get out of my bar.” Yoongi didn’t have to tell him twice as the man ran out of the bar as if he was running for his life, you turning your attention to the man who possibly just saved your life.

Although his actions should’ve frightened you far worse than the guy before you, you found yourself intrigued by the man who now stood in front of you. Yoongi’s eyes were dark and unforgiving, his lips forming a small pout even though he wasn’t showing any hint of emotion in his face, his skin a white crystalline hue underneath the dim lights of the bar and it contrasted sharply with how dark his outfit was. “Are you alright?” Yoongi’s deep voice called out to you, snatching you back into reality and allowing your thoughts to fade away. Your eyes raised from the floor and met with his dull brown ones, nodding slowly at his question, “I think so...” His hands reached out and placed themselves softly onto your shoulders so not as to make you feel threatened after the extremely terrifying situation you were just put through, “Are you sure? Do you want me to take you home?” You normally would’ve denied such a request since you were much too stubborn to allow people to do you a favor if you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself, but that’s the thing. You were not perfectly capable of walking yourself home in fear of that guy finding you again. Nodding slowly at Yoongi’s second question, his hands dropped from your shoulders as he returned your nod and held the door open for you so he could escort you to his car to take you home.

The car ride was pretty quiet as he played some music to try and calm your nerves, you staring out the window of the car and watched how the moonlight cascaded down on the trees lining the road leading to your house. Yoongi would look over at you occasionally, his mouth parting slightly to say something but then choosing not to say anything, fearing he might ask the wrong kind of question at the time. He could pick up on social cues pretty well and could sense that you weren’t really in the mood to talk by the way your hands were gripping tightly at your knee caps and how you held your phone with a death grip just in case he would try something on you. But in reality, you really wanted to strike up a conversation with him but didn’t exactly know how to since it would probably end up being awkward for the both of you. Your eyes would travel from the outdoors to looking at his big hand on the steering wheel while the other was resting against his forehead, him leaning back in the seat as he drove, listening to your directions and looking for your house intently so that he could make sure you got home safely. From his hands, your eyes traveled to how his jawline was accented by the moon light, seeming as if his jawline was sculpted by the gods themselves as you were convinced you could slice some vegetables on how sharp it really was. 

“Is this you?” Yoongi asked you as he stopped suddenly at a small house with no lights on, looking over at you and you looking away from him quickly as you were afraid he would catch you staring at his jawline. Hoping that the red hue on your face wasn’t as obvious as it felt on your cheeks, you leaned over and looked at the house number, nodding at his question, “Yep, this is me.” Yoongi nodded as he got out of the car and rounded over to your side, opening the door for you to get out, smiling softly at you in another attempt to calm your nerves. You thanked him for holding the door open as you stood awkwardly outside of his car, wondering if he were just going to disappear into the night without a single goodbye. Instead, Yoongi insisted on walking you to your door so he could rest easy at night knowing that he did all he could to protect you from any malicious activity that might go on tonight. He was convinced that the guy wouldn’t have followed you guys, but he wanted to make sure by walking you to your door and checking all around, being on the defensive just in case. You, however, admired how protective he had become of you since he scared the guy at the bar shitless, taking you under his wing and wanting to make sure you were safe. On the outside, Yoongi seemed like the guy who would just let you leave the bar immediately and never check up on you, not really caring how you felt about anything, but there’s just something about him that makes you think otherwise.

Maybe it was the way his body remained close to yours as he led you up your stairs to your front door, his hand resting on the small of your back to assure how safe you were when he was next to you. Or maybe it was the way he looked at you as you fumbled with your keys to try and unlock the door, you looking over at him with an embarrassed smile and apologizing over and over for taking so long and prolonging him leaving you. Yoongi chuckled at your incessant apologizing, telling you it was okay and that he really didn’t mind it since he had no place to be at the moment except maybe in his bed. “Do you... Do you want to come in?” You asked as you had finally managed to get the door open, waiting to see if he would accept your offer since you really wanted him to come in so you could get to know him better. Yoongi flicked his wrist to look at his expensive looking watch that hung loosely around his wrist, proceeding to shrug his shoulders and accept as he helped you push the door open wide enough so the both of you could fit through the doorway.

“I just wanted to say thank you. For everything you’ve done for me tonight. I don’t know where I would be if you hadn’t come along. You have no idea how grateful I am for you,” You said, showering Yoongi with praises as you had joined him on the couch, the two of you sitting on opposite ends. A smile fell onto his face as he looked down at the beer you had given him, “Of course. You were a beautiful lady in trouble and I don’t take kindly to guys who force themselves on women simply because they said no. I just wanted to make sure you were okay before I left you.” Yoongi then threw his head back as he finished off the rest of the beer and set it on the coaster on the end table, waiting for you to finish yours before leaving because that may have been perceived as rude if he left any sooner. You didn’t know if it was due to the fact that you were buzzed but you could find yourself becoming slightly turned on by the way Yoongi would look at you with such intensity and how his voice sounded when he talked to you, causing you to gulp hard when he pushed himself up from the couch and allowing his hand to graze your leg slightly in the process. As Yoongi walked away from you and entered the kitchen to throw his beer bottle into the recycling, you decided to follow him both for making sure he didn’t steal anything from your house and to look at him some more. He had already taken his leather jacket off so you were admiring the way his shirt clung to his back muscles and how wide his shoulders were, you feeling your teeth clamp down on your bottom lip to suppress the deep sigh escaping your lips.

“See something you like?” Yoongi said playfully at you as he turned around to face you, you leaning up against the doorway and clasping the nearly empty beer bottle in one hand. A smile worked its way onto your face as you nodded in a goofy way, the alcohol in your system speaking for you at this point. But let’s face it, you knew you loved what you saw in Yoongi. The bad boy attitude while also being extremely kind to you was something you enjoyed very much. “Well come here and you can see even more,” Yoongi teased as he invited you to be in his arms, holding out his arms wide for you to crawl into his grasp. Slinking over to him, you found your way into his embrace and set the beer bottle down to the side of him, his hands wrapping around your waist as he looked longingly down at you due to his slightly taller build than yours. His eyes managed to soften over the course of the night as he smiled at you, causing your heart to leap in your chest. Yoongi leaned down to kiss you, filled by his liquid courage. As your lips crashed together, you could feel yourself becoming victim to however he wanted to touch you, his hands roaming your lower back and cupping your ass to force a moan out of your lips. Yoongi pulled away to look at you, wiggling his eyebrows before he spoke, “So, you wanna...?” A goofy smile branded your face as you nodded quickly, pulling his shirt collar towards you to force your lips back onto his, Yoongi gripping your waist as he flipped you around and pressed against you.

The way Yoongi leaned into your body was something you had never experienced before, feeling how passionate he was despite the fact he was slightly intoxicated. But you didn’t care as your tongues danced with one another, the taste of alcohol remaining on both of your tongues as they washed over each other, Yoongi becoming bold and nipping at your lips playfully but also to see how loudly you could moan into his mouth. Whenever you did, his hands would wrap around your back and push you toward him so he could get even more contact with you, you feeling his erection growing against your thigh. Your hands were woven tightly into his hair as you pushed your whole body against his, but Yoongi lifted you up onto the counter so that your legs could easily wrap around his waist, him pressing his hardened cock up against your screaming heat. The wetness from your sex was hardly being contained by your shorts as you could feel yourself becoming wetter by the way Yoongi’s hands gripped your ass hard, pushing your body against him so that there was no possible space between your hot bodies. You took it upon yourself to grind your hips onto his dick, a low growl escaping Yoongi’s lips that turned you on even more, responding accordingly by grinding even harder into him. “Take off your pants,” Yoongi commanded at you as his hands were already fumbling with his pants so he didn’t have to feel the pain of his jeans straining from his dick. In your drunken stupor, you took off everything because of how hot your body was getting from how turned on you were getting. Yoongi pushed you lightly so that your back was on the top of your counter and your legs fell lightly over the edge, waiting to see what he would do next.

“Fuck!” You squealed out as Yoongi had used his tongue to trail up from your inner thigh to your glistening folds, occasionally licking the inner most part of your upper thigh and biting down lightly to tease you. Your pussy was begging for Yoongi’s tongue as you tried to buck your hips up to reach his pouty lips, but he would pull away playfully pull away to show you who was in charge and would only lick you when he wanted. Instead, his fingers were the first to play with you, one of his fingers sliding into you while his thumb tended to the need of your red, swollen clit that begged for some kind of stimulation. Yoongi smirked down at you as he watched your face begin to twist in pleasure from his fingers alone, finally dropping his face in between your thighs. You looked down at him while he maintained strict eye contact with you, winking as his tongue licked greedily up your folds, flicking mercilessly at your clit. Your hands found their way into his brown locks again as you brought yourself close to his tongue, grinding your hips against his talented tongue to get the kind of touch you craved.

After the minutes of intense licking and sucking of your swollen clit, lapping up of any liquid from your folds, and filling of your dripping wet entrance with his thick, pink muscle, Yoongi finally relieved you of the torture and decided to finally give you the type of attention you needed. Yoongi pulled you up lightly so that your back was no longer against the cold material of your counter as he pulled you over the edge a little more to have you sit and watch for what he did next. He finally pulled his boxers off and kicked them to join the rest of the clothes you had thrown on the ground, revealing his throbbing cock with the red head already spurting two thick beads of precum in anticipation for the wild fucking he was determined to give you. “You’re so big,” You blurted out to him, your eyes widening at how big he really was and wondering if you could take him all in one go. You would soon find out for yourself.

Yoongi made sure to be gentle as he pulled your legs around his waist, lining his cock up with your entrance that was begging to be filled. He licked his hand and rubbed his cock, tracing his thumb over the head to pull the precum down the length of his shaft to allow for more lubrication, as if the liquid pouring out of you onto the counter beneath you wasn’t indication enough for the two of you. With that, Yoongi slid into you with ease, filling you up to your full capacity as a groan escaped his lips from how tight your walls felt around him. Yoongi relished at the feeling of your tight, extremely wet walls gripping onto his cock as he began to take slow, drawn out thrusts so you could get used to him inside of you. He wrapped his arms around you again and pulled your torso up to him so he could feel your soft lips on his again, offering a slight distraction so he could speed up his thrusts into you without it being too painful. The minute amount of pain you felt when he would pull all the way out of you and slam himself back into you to hit the start of your cervix was well worth the intense pleasure you were feeling from the angle he had you at while fucking you nice and deep. Whenever he would slam back into you, he would come in contact with your special spot, every time he did would earn him a loud moan from your lips into his mouth as you two made out while he fucked you.

“Oh god don’t stop!” You cried out as your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, gripping his skin so hard that your fingernails would leave small crescent like shapes in his skin. Yoongi’s thrusts were at top speed now as he thrust as deep as he could, your breasts bouncing wildly from the speed he found to be pleasurable for the both of you. “Baby, I’m gonna... Gonna cum real soon,” Yoongi admitted as his face was buried into you shoulder, his teeth sinking into your skin in an attempt to hinder the impending orgasm he would surely feel. His lips found your neck and placed wet, open mouthed kisses and would continued his attack on your neck every time you would mutter his name or moan out loudly, either one would earn you the same punishment. The coil in your stomach was staring to unwind as you spoke out through perfectly time and placed thrusts from Yoongi, “I’m gonna cum too, baby. Keep going! It feels so good!” You could feel Yoongi’s lips form a smile against your neck as he tightened his grip on your waist to stabilize you as he thrust the deepest he could inside of you, his cock no longer visible to either of you every time he thrust into you, coming out completely wet with your essence, and then slammed back in. Oh god, you were close.

The coil in your stomach was threatening to unwind with every thrust Yoongi made into you, but wouldn’t come undone just yet. That was, until Yoongi took one of his hands and circled your aching clit with his thumb with his unforgiving thrusts inside of you. This is when you felt your walls beginning to tighten around his cock, twitching and throbbing uncontrollably inside of you, your walls trying their hardest to milk his dick dry of any cum he was holding inside of him. With the buck of your hips and a scream of his name, your slick walls clenched tightly around his cock, feeling every part of his throbbing cock inside of you. Yoongi’s cock could feel how wet you really were as your walls were gripping greedily at his member, forcing him over the edge as well. He thrust one final time inside of you, calling out your name as his cum sprang free from his cock, coating your walls with his thick white substance. Yoongi’s eyes were screwed tightly as he repeated your name over and over like it was his favorite prayer while simultaneously thrusting slowly to ride out both of your highs, calming yourselves down as best his could. 

Your nails no longer dug into his skin as you let them fall to the small of his back, resting your chin in the crook of his neck and breathing heavily in an attempt to return you back to normal. Yoongi released his grip on your ass and pulled his thumb away from your clit, collapsing into your arms as you struggled to keep him up, laughing slightly at his reaction. Your laugh proved to be infectious as Yoongi joined you, chuckling against your shoulder and allowing both of your bodies to shake from the laughter. Yoongi pulled himself away from you and cupped your face into his hand, tracing a small circle with his thumb on your cheek. You smiled a shy smile as your eyes met with his, “This is one hell of a thank you, isn’t it?” Another adorable chuckle fell from his lips as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to him so your head resting against his chest to feel how fast his heart rate was, “I guess you can call me your Savior now.”

[hi-im-secretly-satan]

Fever

Fandom: Banana Fish Pairing: Soy sauce (Shorter x Yut-Lung) Word count: 1745 Warnings: Choking, references to character death/(sexual) abuse Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16866739 Summary: During their stay at Abraham Dawson's house, Shorter unexpectedly falls ill. Yut-Lung brings him some rice porridge but it doesn't quite go as he had planned. Notes: This hell took me three months to write but I am damn happy with how it turned out. @shorterxwong requested soy sauce with the prompt “Fever” and who am I to turn down a soy sauce fic request? I really really hope you like it, I poured my soul into this hahaha

When Yut Lung had gotten his orders, he had had expectations.

His subject could have been a loyal dog, refusing to cooperate and yelling about how he’d rather commit suicide than betray his fellow boss. If that were the case, it would be easy to have him killed and make it look like he had taken his own life. That would definitely rile up the infamous Ash Lynx.

His subject could have a grudge against that sly bastard and be rearing to get back at him. That would be even easier to work with, although over-enthusiasm, he knew, was prone to sabotaging operations of this delicacy. Previous missions had taught him that harsh lesson.

He had expected many things.

However he hadn’t expected Shorter Wong to be so damn attractive. His purple mohawk and eyebrow piercing radiated courage and strength, hinting at a rough attitude befitting a gang leader, in stark contrast to his ever-present grin and puppy-like enthusiasm. He hadn’t expected just how easy it was to rile him up with threats whispered when no one was watching, reminders of how all of his actions were monitored and controlled, how he was completely at Yut Lung’s mercy. The heated looks Shorter directed at him, filled with rage and disgust, left him burning for something he couldn’t quite identify. It was mesmerising to watch him shake with helpless anger, clench his fists in rage, itching to close those fingers around his throat, to make it all stop. At times, Yut Lung wanted those fingers around his throat, to have Shorter touch him, to feel something, anything at all.

He hadn’t expected him to fall ill either.

So when his old maid told him that Shorter had collapsed with a fever, he had expected to be pissed at the unexpected turn of events—this really threw his plans into disarray—but instead he found himself distressed. He managed to feign impassiveness as Suk-Leui finished her report and went to make some rice porridge on his orders. He was tired. By now he’d had to feign impassiveness so much the line between feigning and his real feelings had become so blurred he wasn’t sure how much of his actual feelings were left.

Taking a moment to quiet the sound of his blood rushing through his veins, he sank down on the edge of his bed.  Stay calm , he told himself. This was nothing to get so worked up about. It was probably just the flu, nothing life-threatening. It’d be over before he knew it. He traced his lower lip with his thumb.

Maybe this was his chance. To show Shorter that he was just another victim of this cursed endless cycle of using and abusing that resulted from being born in the mafia, just like him. To show Shorter that he cared. He immediately berated himself for even daring to think this could work out positively, but really, was it too much to ask to be wanted in the same way he wanted someone else? Someone to cling to when he felt like he was drowning in hate and hungry stares and unwanted hands claiming his body for their own?

When he entered the room, Shorter was asleep. His breathing was heavy, his face flushed and his usually carefully styled mohawk was mussed up and unkempt. It was a frightening yet strangely attractive sight. His thoughts strayed, unbidden, to a more impure scene in a purer world, one where they would be free of the cruel chains of hatred that held them down. He willed them away. Reality was harsh and there was nothing he could do about it except fight it from the shadows. He knew he could not save Shorter. It was foolish to even think about it.

Taking a deep breath to steel himself for the undoubtedly unpleasant but strangely addicting interaction he slid back into his cold and manipulative façade and made his way over to the bed. He placed the steaming bowl of porridge on the nightstand and, after a short moment of considering the chair, sat down on the edge of the bed.

The sudden dip in the mattress woke Shorter from his slumber. Yut Lung watched as his hostage blinked and tried to get his bearings through the fever induced fog in his mind. He felt a jolt when those dark brown eyes found his, still soft and pleasant, until they realised who they were looking at and they hardened. Shorter’s expression turned feral and—it probably would’ve been in a flash if he hadn’t been crippled by that fever—managed to pull a knife from under his pillow and lunged at him.

Yut Lung couldn’t help but smile, almost wanting to let him just to see how far he’d get, but instead slid his fingers around Shorter’s knife-wielding wrist, twisting it until the weapon fell, his other hand on his shoulder pushing him on his back. His long hair fell down like a curtain, and with his knee digging into the side of Shorter’s hips he had him perfectly caged. “Come now,” he drawled, lazy smirk dancing on his lips and eyes sparkling with mirth. “That’s no way for an ill person to behave.”

Shorter growled and struggled weakly to break free. “You...” he snarled, voice hoarse from coughing. Yut Lung felt another jolt go through his body at the sound of it. The sight of him flushed and panting underneath him did little to calm him down either. He let his eyes take it all in and wished he could have what he wanted for once. His gaze wandered from his eyes—deep and dark and surprisingly brown—to his piercing—seeming to sparkle in the dim lighting—to his nose—big for an Asian but beautiful—to his parted lips. He wanted to lean down and claim those for himself, wanted it to be reciprocated.

He wanted.

“Hush,” Yut Lung muttered, pressing a long finger to Shorter’s lips; those tempting lips. “Wouldn’t want your dear Ash to hear. Or  Eiji, for that matter.” Shorter flinched at the mention of his Asian friend and averted his eyes.

The irrational feeling of betrayal suddenly made it hard to breathe, like someone had bound his chest in too-tight bandages. His earlier thoughts of wanting to claim Shorter for himself, both physically and emotionally, turned to anger. He wanted to break him. Have him crumble beneath him, fall apart into tiny pieces and rearrange them all into someone new, someone who would really see him. Who would want him back and hold him and tell him he was good enough. Was that really too much to ask? Suppressing his feelings once more, he let his hand wander to brush Shorter’s cheek with the back of his fingers. “What’s this?” He cooed, hoping his inner turmoil wouldn’t make his voice tremble. “Is that air-headed boy that special to you?”

Shorter looked back up at him with resentment burning in his eyes. “You’d never understand,” he sneered and coughed.

Yut Lung narrowed his eyes and leaned back a bit so he wouldn’t catch whatever it was his hostage was hacking up. “And why is that?” He asked icily.

“Because you don’t know love.”

Yut Lung felt his blood run cold. He didn’t know love? Shorter had no right to make false accusations like that. He knew love, but the only love he had ever known was taken from him by his brothers. He could still hear his mother’s anguished screams when he closed his eyes at night.

But there was a tiny spark of hope deep inside his chest. Would Shorter be willing to show him what love was? Would he be willing to take his cold and neglected heart and warm it in his hands? Hold him in his strong embrace and treat him like he was his most precious treasure?

Shorter continued and his hopes were crushed. “I pity you. You hide behind a mask of indifference and you’re scared to let people in. You only know how to manipulate and wreak havoc. It must be such a lonely life.” He actually dared looking remorseful. His eyes were still hard, he hadn’t let his guard down, but they were sad and sincere. Compassionate.

Something in Yut-Lung snapped. He surged forward and his fingers closed around Shorter’s neck. “I don’t need your pity!” He cried. “Don’t look at me like you understand my life! What it’s like to be used and abused, molded into the perfect image of the woman they loathed.” His voice shook and he choked back a sob. Underneath him Shorter froze and his eyes widened in shock. “I don’t want this life either, Shorter Wong. I’m just waiting for the day they hit me too hard, kick me in the wrong place or strangle me too tight…” His eyes burned. He blinked and tears rolled down his face, landing on Shorter’s cheeks. A cruel mirror to just a week ago, when their positions had been reversed.

But then he felt a warm hand on his cheek. He froze and his vision came back into focus. Shorter was looking up at him with those damned brown eyes, soft and full of sorrow. He tried to say something but nothing came out except for a few rasping gasps. As if burned, Yut-Lung let go, wanting to create some space between them. But the hand on his cheek was so tender, he did not want to lose that warmth. Shorter coughed violently as air rushed back into his lungs.

Suddenly scared of what Shorter would say he scrambled off the bed. With his back towards his hostage, he wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. “Eat the porridge while it's still hot.” His voice trembled with suppressed tears. “Don't worry, it's not poisoned.” He shot Shorter one last look before heading towards the door. But when he put his hand on the handle he heard his raspy voice.

“I can't fathom what you're going through. It must be hell.”

His knuckles turned white from how tightly he was holding the door handle.

Shorter coughed again. “Do you really think this is the right way to deal with it?”

He gritted his teeth. Shorter had no right to talk to him like that. Ignoring the question still hanging in the air he opened the door and left the room.

His throat was sore. He must have caught whatever Shorter had after all.

[yotsutama]

SS1.12.1 - One Step Towards Tomorrow

Part 1 Side Story Chapter 12.1

Side Stories

Gaku: Thank you! Thank you all for tonight!

Audience: Kyaaaa! TRIGGER!

Audience: Your new song is the best...!!

Ryuunosuke: ......gh, haa haa... Ahaha! This new song is the best!

Gaku: Yeah! Everyone's really excited!

Ryuunosuke: I really like this song!

Gaku: Me too! I've always wanted to sing this kind of song!

Tenn: ............

Gaku: It's time for the encore, let's go! Of course, the song will be, "Let's✧NATSU"!

Audience: Kyaaaaa....!!

Momo: Good work!

Yuki: The live was great.

Gaku: Re:vale-san! You were here!?

Tenn: Well, I realized they were here.

Momo: Hey! You did some fanservice, right!?

Ryuunosuke: Even though Yuki-san and Momo-san are always so busy, thank you for coming!

Momo: No, no! We got to hear your new song, and I got to have a date with my darling. I'm so happy!

Ryuunosuke: A date?

Momo: Yeah! We came here holding hands!

Yuki: We didn’t, we didn’t.

Momo: We were two-stepping when we crossed the sidewalk! (1)

Yuki: Pfft... Even an elementary student wouldn't do that.

Gaku: Joking as always, huh, Re:vale-san.

Momo: Ehehe! We're aiming for an appearance in a commercial for household detergents so we're practicing for it!

Gaku: Another commercial!? You've appeared in commercials for cars, cosmetics, foods, drinks, smartphones, and even air conditioners too, right!?

Momo: We wanted to do the commercial for White Hot Thunder Dry the most though! Ryuu-chan, you were so sexy and cute up there~!

Ryuunosuke: Ahaha! Thank you very much!

Yuki: TRIGGER, your new song is nice.

Gaku: Do you mean it!? We're so happy to hear that!

Yuki: It resembles Zero. That Hyuuga-san, he's more than what I expected him to be.

Momo: It's different than the usual songs, but it's energetic and cute, I like it! "Let's✧NATSU"!

Ryuunosuke: Thank you very much! We look forward to Re:vale-san's new song too!

Momo: Ahaha! That's taboo for now!

Ryuunosuke: Eh!? Why’s that!?

Momo: It's writer’s block.

Yuki: We're currently cursing the whole world.

Gaku: You can't make a song if you curse the world, right? ...gh, ow! Why, are you pinching me!?

Yuki: Even if you're right, we can’t do it after all, you know......

Momo: Don't, Yuki! It's the face of the Desired Embrace No. 1, take good care of it...!!

Gaku: Putting my face aside, don't vent your anger on others please. I like the cool Re:vale-san.

Yuki: ............

Gaku: If it's Yuki-san, you can do it. Definitely. You're a great person.

Gaku: You're a genius. Everyone knows about it, and you know more than anyone, right?

Yuki: You're right.

Momo: Gaku... So cool......

Ryuunosuke: He's cool......

Gaku: Huh? We're talking about Yuki-san's coolness here, not me.

Momo: Haaa... So handsome... I wanted to say that line......

Yuki: You can say it later.

Momo: Wait... Tenn, why are you so quiet today? Are you tired?

Tenn: No......

Momo: Well, your new song used a lot of your energy, right?! The audience was so excited too, they were overflowing with happiness!

Momo: Tenn always thinks of the fans, you really showed TRIGGER's sincerity and spirit! The three of you were so cool!

Momo: Being able to see that kind of amazing stage overflowed with your pride and great services, I'm sure TRIGGER's fans were so pleased!

Tenn: ............

Tenn: ... We don't deserve those kind words. Thank you very much.

Tenn: I'll take my leave now.

Momo: Tenn......

*slam*

Ryuunosuke: What's wrong with him?

Gaku: I wonder. I don't understand what he's thinking. Just what is he unsatisfied with......

Gaku: After a great concert like today, I wanted to be happy with my members, and yet......

Ryuunosuke: Gaku......

Announcer: Now then, it's a single that reached the top of the ranking this week! TRIGGER's "Let's✧NATSU!"

Riku: Ah......

Nagi: ............

*turns off*

Riku: Y-you're not watching?

Nagi: I'm not.

Riku: But, it's Tenn-ni... I meant, TRIGGER's new song......

Nagi: It's not TRIGGER. Their name is "Shameless Song Thieves".

Nagi: Filthy criminals who dumped away their TRIGGER name.

Riku: ...... Don't say criminals! TRIGGER might have sung it without knowing anything, right!?

Nagi: OH... Riku, are you supporting the TRIGGER who stole our song?

Riku: That's not it. I'm upset too, but......

Nagi: But?

Riku: I don't want to talk bad about my family, I don't want to hear it either.

Nagi: That judgement is full of flaws. Even if reality is cruel, we must admit that......

Mitsuki: Nagi!

Nagi: ............

Mitsuki: Come with me.

Nagi: ...... I don't want to.

Mitsuki: What?

Nagi: Mitsuki, you're angry. I'm not in the mood to talk with an angry Mitsuki.

Mitsuki: I'm not angry.

Nagi: You're obviously angry. You can't fool me......gh!

Riku: Mi, Mitsuki!

Mitsuki: Why are you looking away? Look at me.

Nagi: ............

Mitsuki: Come with me.

Nagi: ...... Yes......

*slam*

Riku: ...... He took him away... Mitsuki can be scary sometimes.

Nagi: I... I won't apologize. I'm not wrong. I'm not going to forgive TRIGGER who stole our song.

Mitsuki: Why do you look scared?

Nagi: Mitsuki, you're gripping my collar......

Mitsuki: Well that's…! Because I was in hurry! I don't think it's good to say those things in front of Riku. Now, let's sit already.

Nagi: Excuse me......

Mitsuki: Nagi. We couldn't sing our new song, and I’m upset and angry too. Everyone is. There's no one who's ok with it.

Mitsuki: However, for Riku, TRIGGER's Kujou is his older brother. Of course, he doesn't want to hear insults about him.

Nagi: ...... That's a big mistake.

Mitsuki: What is?

Nagi: One can betray even one's own family for the sake of gaining an advantage. Feeling deep hatred, even more than towards outsiders.

Nagi: If we don't admit the facts, then we won’t take any countermeasures. Riku will just be hurt, without ever knowing the truth.

Mitsuki: ...... I don't think TRIGGER are those kinds of guys.

Mitsuki: And, even if they fight, or if there are things they don't like, siblings will be siblings. There's no way they would go that far......

Nagi: They wouldn't?

Mitsuki: ............

Nagi: Can you say that you would never do that to Iori?

Mitsuki: Of course.

Nagi: Can you say that Iori would never do that to you?

Mitsuki: ......, even if he did, he wouldn’t mean it, right?

Nagi: Even in situations where one didn’t mean it, as it piles up it will cause serious trouble. Pain can lead to hatred.

Mitsuki: I'd never hate Iori!

*knock knock*

Mitsuki: ...... Come in.

*click*

Iori: I'm sorry. I heard my name being mentioned, did you call for me?

Mitsuki: Ah... No, we're fine.

Nagi: Iori. What would you do if Mitsuki stole something important from you?

Iori: ...... Is it about the new song and Nanase-san? If it is, then you have used a wrong example. Nii-san would never steal my things.

Iori: He would say it straight out whenever he wants something. Isn't that right?

Mitsuki: ...... Yeah. Although, if it's something I can never get, then saying it out loud wouldn't change anything so in the end, I wouldn't say it.

Iori: Nii-san...?

Mitsuki: Anyway, you should stop saying bad things about TRIGGER in front of Riku. He gets weak from stress.

Nagi: ...... I understand.

Mitsuki: It's not like you, Nagi! You always find people's good traits. You always find hope in even those who are at their lowest.

Mitsuki: We couldn't sing that song. I know hearing that song makes our hearts hurt, but hurting others because of it is wrong, right?

Nagi: ............

Nagi: Mitsuki, can you spoil me.

Mitsuki: Ahaha, what the heck. Fine.

Iori: It's not fine!

Nagi: Mitsuki, Sorry... My heart has been rough. Please comfort me until the thorns are gone.

Mitsuki: Geez, you're so helpless.

Iori: You can just meditate by yourself. Japanese mind training. Rokuya-san, you like ninjas, right?

Mitsuki: Iori, don't say cruel things! Nagi is trying to hold back his frustrations.

Iori: ......, Even I, even I am holding my frustrations in too!

*slam*

Mitsuki: Iori! What's with him......

Nagi: Look, it’s just as I said. Even in situations where one didn’t mean it, if it gets piled up it will cause serious trouble in the future.

Mitsuki: Uum... Serious trouble, huh... If you say that, then MEZZO" too......

Nagi: OH! Stop thinking about other things. Now focus on comforting me. Let's try it.

Mitsuki: ............

Mitsuki: Good, good, you're a good boy! (2)

Nagi: OH... I feel like a dog being stroked. But, it actually feels nice.

Mitsuki: Nagi, are you on bad terms with your relatives?

Nagi: ............

Mitsuki: You said it before, right? Women treated you nicely, but you didn’t get along with men because they're jealous of you.

Mitsuki: The closest male near you is your brother, right? I also get jealous of Iori sometimes.

Mitsuki: Nagi is super beautiful, you can also do anything. But, I never got jealous of you.

Mitsuki: However, if you were my brother, I wonder if I would.

Nagi: Mitsuki.

Mitsuki: Hm?

Nagi: One more time please.

Mitsuki: ...... Good, good, you're a good boy!

*click*

Yamato: Sou.

Sougo: Yamato-san... You're still awake?

Yamato: That's my line. You stayed up late yesterday so you said you were going to sleep earlier today, right? What are you doing?

Sougo: I'm preparing for tomorrow's job.

Yamato: Preparing what?

Sougo: The script is written in difficult words, so I'm re-writing it to make it easy for Tamaki-kun to understand.

Sougo: I can't explain things nicely, so I always anger Tamaki-kun... I thought if I could make a memo, it will be easier to understand.

Yamato: I can explain it to Tama later. You should go to sleep.

Sougo: I can't let you do that. This is MEZZO”'s job......

Yamato: You are looking in a mirror every day, right? You haven’t realized it? You look tired.

Sougo: ...... I'm sorry.

Yamato: I didn't want you to apologize. I just want you to rest. Now, go sleep.

Sougo: But......

Yamato: No buts.

Sougo: ............

Yamato: Why do you look so troubled. Onii-san didn't want to trouble you. I just want to be told "Yamato-san, you are so niceー".

Sougo: ...... Yamato-san is nice, always......

Yamato: Yeah, yeah. I'm cool right.

Sougo: Yes......

Yamato: ...... You saying it like that is embarrassing me though......

Sougo: ...... I'm sorry for making you worry. It's my fault for being unreliable......

Yamato: I don't think you're unreliable. You're just unskilled at this.

Sougo: Am I, unskilled...? My way of doing this job......

Yamato: Wrong. Whether it’s refusing or relaxing, you should watch Onii-san and learn how to do things loosely.

Yamato: You should live more skillfully. If you keep being like that, you'll just break yourself.

Sougo: Yamato-san, are you living skillfully?

Yamato: I wonder.

Sougo: ...... I don't think you do things loosely. But......

Sougo: I feel like I've only seen your back. Because you always dodge things.

Yamato: Oh. You being able to complain now means you've recovered, huh.

Sougo: I didn't mean it as a complaint though......

Yamato: Night. I'm turning off the light. If you wake up again after I leave, there's gonna be punishment, okay.

Sougo: I understand. Good night... Thank you very much.

Yamato: Yeah, yeah.

*slam*

Sougo: ............

Sougo: ...... Oh right. The directions for tomorrow's workplace......

*click*

Yamato: Are you trying to wake up?

Sougo: I, I'm sleeping.

Yamato: Ok.

*slam*

Sougo: ............

Sougo: ...... Let's sleep......

Sougo: I hope I can do well with Tamaki-kun tomorrow......

*click*

Tamaki: Rikkun.

Riku: Ah... Welcome back, Tamaki. You came home late today too. Good work.

Tamaki: Did you want something?

Riku: Eh? What, that's sudden. Ah! Then, can you put this on the wardrobe?

Tamaki: Right.

Riku: And thenー Handstand!

Tamaki: You really like handstands, huh!? Fine. ......gh, here...!

Riku: Wow! Amazing, amazing!

Tamaki: ......gh, there you go. Anything else?

Riku: Next is......

Riku: Try praising Tenn-nii. Anything you can come up with, anything is fine.

Tamaki: Rikkun's big bro? Uum, he gave me King Puddings. He's nice.

Riku: Yeah.

Tamaki: He worked hard even when he had a fever. That's admirable. He always tries his best. And..., he's a good guy who always thinks about the fans?

Riku: Yeah... Yes, that's right!

Tamaki: Is this enough?

Riku: It is! Thanks! I'm cheered up now!

Tamaki: Hehe......

Tamaki: I, I like being with Rikkun.

Riku: Really? That kinda makes me embarassed!

Tamaki: Haha... Yeah. Rikkun, you are always happy. You think nicely of yourself......

Tamaki: ...... I'm not good at being with Sou-chan. It's not that I don't like him. How should I put it......

Tamaki: Being with him always makes me feel like a bad guy.

Riku: Tamaki... Are you fighting with Sougo-san?

Tamaki: We always, you know. Always. When we're not, we just keep silent awkwardly. I don't like that.

Tamaki: It feels like I'm troubling him just by being with him, I don't want that......

Riku: I see... So that's why you came here to do the handstand.

Tamaki: It would be nice if Sou-chan was easier to understand, just like Rikkun......

Riku: Don't say things like Iori!

Riku: Then, you can just help Sougo-san out tomorrow! Just like how you helped me today!

Tamaki: But there's nothing I can do to help him.

Riku: There is! Like, holding his bag, maybe? Tamaki is strong, right!

Tamaki: I wonder if that'll make him happy......

Riku: He will be! But before that, you should say to him that you want to get along, you want to help, that is.

Tamaki: ...... That's kinda embarrassing......

Riku: He'll definitely be happy! Those feelings are important!

Riku: Sougo-san and Tamaki are good guys! There's no way it won't go well!

Tamaki: Rikkun......

Tamaki: Should I, do the handstand again?

Riku: Yayy! Backflip! Do the backflip!

Tamaki: That, I made a hole in the wall when I did that last time!

*click*

Iori: You're so noisy!

Tamaki・Riku: Uwa...! You surprised me!!

Iori: Please think of what time it is now! Nanase-san, aren't you a working adult!?

Riku: Ahー! You only blame me!

Tamaki: Iorin, sorry... Riku-san ordered me to, and......

Riku: Uwaー! You suddenly act all innocent!!

Iori: I told you, you are all so noisy!

*click*

Mitsuki: Iori is noisy too, you knowー.

Iori: ......, Nii-san......

Riku: Mitsuki!

Mitsuki: Sougo is sleeping so keep it down, okay.

Tamaki: ...... Okay.

Iori: ...... We're sorry......

Mitsuki: The three of you, sit over there together.

Iori: What is it...?

Riku: ...... Like this?

Tamaki: Uwaa, he'll definitely hit us......

Mitsuki: ............

Mitsuki: Good, good, you're all good boys!

Iori: Wha......

Riku: Ahaha! What is it!?

Tamaki: Ahaha! We're not dogs, you know!

Mitsuki: Ahahaha! You're all, good, good boys!

Mitsuki: So that we don't lose to all the troubles we have, let's work hard starting tomorrow!

To be continued......

T/N

First, I'm sorry this is SUPER LATE. rl stuff happened and the next SS is SO LONG (I'll post it after this) thankss @ousama-pudding for proofreading!!!!❣

(1) two-stepping is a dance step that looks like this (lol)

(2) よーしよしよし is expression of affection and usually used when you pat someone/your pet on the head.. It literally translates to "good good good", I changed it into "good, good, you're a good boy" hahah

Thanks for reading~

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

NOTES: The Forkannukah celebration continues! I'm really determined not to slide on this; I want to put up a chapter a day of this SM fic until it's done!

Also, this chapter borders on NSFW (but isn't really).

Act 2. Rei: Royally Steamed

"Take that BACK, you stupid bubble-head!"

The way Usagi stamped her foot against the tatami, reached up to her head and touched her odango in annoyance pissed Rei Hino off even more than she already had been. They were talking about something at least semi-serious and all that dumb blonde could focus on was her hair! Where did it end? When would she grow up and stop acting like a spoiled child instead of the leader of the Sailor Senshi?

"I'm not gonna take it back! You're a jerky, annoying jerkface!"

"It's not 'mean' to say you need to train harder, Usagi! God, maybe if you did we wouldn't spend half of our time scraping your butt up off the floor instead of actually fighting the Dark Kingdom!"

"Well, maybe if you didn't yell at me all the time, I would get better sooner! SO not helping!"

"Please don't fight," Ami interjected. She actually looked highly uncomfortable, which only made Rei's temper ratchet upward by several more notches. "This was only supposed to be a planning meeting, not an argument!"

"See?!" she flung at Usagi. "You're upsetting Ami!"

"No, you are! You're the one griping at me like I'm messing up on purpose! Seriously, I'm trying my best!"

A scoff erupted from her throat as she folded her arms over her white haori jacket. "Right. Like anybody would believe that someone stumbling around as badly as you do and screaming like a baby was 'trying their best'. Get a grip!"

Finally, Usagi had reached her limit. That was one thing she could never quite pin down: when Usagi would keep arguing until she was blue in the face, or when she would break down in a fountain of tears. The way she was doing right now.

"Waaaaahhh! Rei, why are y-you like this? Why are you so m-mean all the t- all the tiiiime?!"

"That's enough!" Luna interrupted brusquely, hopping up onto the table on her soft kitty paws. Ever the voice of reason compared to the girls, which Rei thought was pathetic given that she was an actual animal. "Usagi, dry it up! We have important Sailor business, and this outburst is absolutely not going to help us fight the Dark Kingdom!"

"B-but-"

"Rei, I would like to speak with you out in the hallway!"

That took them all aback. Blinking down at her furry head, Rei pointed at her own chest and asked, "Me?"

"Yes! Out you go, come on!"

As they stepped into the hall, she noticed Ami patting Usagi's arm gently as she sniffled and blubbered. What a pathetic mess. Sometimes, she really wished she were a mere miko and could continue her priestess duties without having to worry about the forces of darkness, and the annoying pigtailed nuisance that she had no choice but to assist in fighting them. Lately, she wished that on a daily basis.

Once they slid the shoji door closed behind them, she squatted closer to the cat and whispered, "What is it?"

"I know it's difficult, given her attitude," Luna began with a long sigh, slumping in such a human gesture that Rei had to suppress a laugh. "But… you might want to go a bit easier on Usagi."

"What?! But she's such a-"

"She's a girl. Barely old enough to be making her own decisions! I agree that she needs training, and maturity, but we can't expect them to come merely because we demand it. We have to help her mature. Do you understand what I'm asking of you?"

She thought she did. It was annoying, and she pursed her lips in an effort to keep from snapping back at Luna due to her anger with someone else. Then she finally said, "Alright, I'll try. But she doesn't make it easy!"

"Believe me, I know." Shaking her purple-furred head for a moment, she glanced back at the door. "I think it would help if you went to fetch us some drinks. Give both of you a moment to master your emotions."

"Probably. Okay, I'll be right back."

After letting Luna into the room again, Rei sighed to herself and made her way to the kitchen, her red hakama rustling around her legs. Familiar steps, familiar surroundings. The Shinto shrine really helped bring her peace in times like this, when her fiery temper got the better of her. She did the breathing exercises her grandfather taught her as she prepared tea, making sure there was plenty of sugar in the bowl for Usagi. Which annoyed her, but it was going to be far less annoying than hearing her complain, "Hey, why isn't there enough sugar?"

Why did she get under her skin so easily? She was a brat. Most brats she would simply scoff at and ignore. If she were to hazard a guess, it would be that it was being forced to work alongside her. There was no easy way to walk away from the temptation to get angry when that option didn't exist. They had to get along. They had to fight against Queen Beryl's forces, or the world would be in danger.

And like it or not, 'they' included Usagi Tsukino. World's whiniest superhero.

                                                          ~ o ~

Training that afternoon went better than usual. Usagi threw her tiara and hit more targets than she normally did, though only by one or two. The sparring never yielded excellent results, but at least Usagi didn't fall on her tailbone very often. Ami's movements were really coming along, and so were Rei's; she definitely wished she had taken martial arts at a younger age to have more knowledge stored up, but Luna was quite encouraging, and a capable teacher despite not being able to show them many of the moves herself.

Rei didn't see the girls the next day. Sometimes, she regretted that they went to a different school, but it came in handy when she was upset with Usagi to simply attend classes and not worry so much about her. They could go to the public school, and she had T-A Academy as a safe haven from her 'leader's' ineptitude.

That night, she lied awake for far longer than she wanted to admit, trying to figure out what to do about the situation. Luna was right; Usagi wasn't evil, and she wasn't being stupid on purpose. Just ignorant and not as mature as she and Ami were. And even though it was difficult to admit it, she could see some potential in Usagi as a leader if she ever worked through her shortcomings. But she had to figure out a way not only to get past her impatience with her, but also show Usagi that just because she couldn't stand her on a regular basis didn't mean she 'hated' her, or that her admonitions were groundless due to said imaginary hatred — if Usagi thought she was only saying those things because she didn't like her, she definitely wouldn't listen.

But what could she do that would show her that she didn't want her to go jump in an active volcano?

It was only the next morning when asking her grandfather for advice that she got a hint of what to do. It was a little iffy, and she had to admit that it made her a little uncomfortable, but the old-fashioned coot might have a point. There were certain activities that fostered more closeness than others.

                                                          ~ o ~

"A sento?!"

"Yeah," Rei sighed, feeling awkward enough for both of them without Usagi adding to it with her wrinkled nose and furrowed eyebrows. "You know, check it out? I've never been."

"But isn't that a little… old-fashioned? I mean, nobody uses public baths anymore; we all have them in our houses, so there's not much point."

That had been exactly what she first thought, so she couldn't fault Usagi for thinking it, too. Shrugging her shoulders, she leaned back against the telephone pole, playing with the hem of her fuku skirt. "Yeah, I know, I know. But to be honest, the shrine temple basically just has an old wooden ofuro tub and like, that's about it. So even if it's a super-traditional sento, it'll still probably have more modern facilities than I usually get to use."

"Well… why don't you just come over and use my bath? Mom probably wouldn't mind." Usagi's voice was reasonable, and she leaned slightly to one side, trying to catch Rei's gaze. "A-and I wouldn't, either! I'll just stand guard so Shingo doesn't poke his weasly little nose in."

Against her will, she laughed at the idea. "Your little brother isn't at that age yet, is he?"

"Maybe not, but he's still a boy. Can't trust 'em." Another laugh, and Usagi laughed with her. "What do you think?"

"Nevermind. Just wondered if you would be interested in trying it with me, since that would be less weird than going by myself. Forget it."

"Wait, wait!" she protested when Rei turned away to start off toward home, skipping a little so that she could get in front, then walk backwards in front of her with her school satchel held in the small of her back. "I didn't say I'm not interested! Though I'm kinda surprised you'd ask me to go… but I mean, you're right, I've never tried one. An onsen once or twice with my family, sure, but that's more about soaking in the hot springs and playing ping pong."

Snorting at the idea of Usagi trying to play ping pong — and failing — she nodded her understanding. "Okay. I wasn't saying go right this minute, anyway."

"Cool. And hey, it could be fun! Not that I know what to expect… I mean, are they still coed? Do I need a bathing suit?"

"NO! Don't be ridiculous, I don't want a bunch of guys drooling over me!"

Leaning a little closer with a playful gleam in her eyes, she whispered, "You think they'd all be drooling over you, huh? Wow, someone sure thinks she's hot stuff!"

"USAGI!" But the blush only made it worse, and Usagi was laughing loudly and freely. Even if it was at her expense, maybe this was the right way to go; she definitely had cheered the bun-head up.

                                                          ~ o ~

They didn't wind up going that day, but the next. Ami and Naru were asked along by Usagi — which Rei bristled at, but there was no way for Usagi to know that this was supposed to be so the two of them could understand each other better and stop squabbling so often — but they both declined. Ami because she was studying, and Naru because, in her words, "that's kinda gross." So it all worked out in the end.

They stood in front of the sento with wide eyes. It was highly traditional, at least from the outside; tall pillars and curved tile roof, with a banner over the door proclaiming "hot water" in hiragana. It put Rei at ease, since the classical aesthetic of it was so similar to her home. The only thing that marred the experience was the soda machine a meter from the entrance.

"Yep, this is definitely gonna be interesting," Usagi said with a little nod, hefting her bag of clothes.

"Yeah. I mean, you can still back out…"

"Hah! No way, then you would win!"

Rolling her eyes, she said, "I wasn't daring you to do this, you know. But fine; if either of us chickens out and wants to leave, they have to pay for ice cream. Deal?"

"Deal," Usagi laughed, and they pinky-swore on it. Then they went inside.

It didn't take long for them to get checked in, leave their shoes up front and go through the red curtain into the women's changing room. Usagi stopped to pee before they got on with things, and Rei took the opportunity to find them a spot along the benches to put their bags down. While slipping out of their clothes and shooting furtive glances around, a few old ladies laughed at them for being so modest. They chatted about that, and about the whole experience while moving through into the tiled bathing area. Which was not coed, much to Usagi's relief.

"I just feel weird!" she was hissing under her breath as they stood there awkwardly in the steamy room, holding towels in front of themselves. "Like, this bathroom's too big! Feels like I'm in the wrong place or something. Or worse… at school."

"Yeah," Rei laughed as she looked around for a suitable spot. "Except it's a school full of grandmas." When she spotted two unoccupied stools, she grabbed Usagi's arm and led her over to them, and they got rid of their towels and Rei's basket of soap and shampoo and settled in to start washing. "At least it's warm in here."

As she turned on her faucets and tested the water temperature, then flicked on the showerhead, Usagi glanced over and said, "This makes me feel like a little kid again. Y'know, with my mom washing me? Even though nobody's going to be doing that, like, I guess because I'm not alone in here…"

"No, I get it. Used to bathing on your own now." Belatedly, she started doing the same; her instinct had been to go to the baths and collect bathwater with a washbowl, since that was how she had been taught to do it at home. As they rinsed off, she asked, "Did you want to wash your hair? You'd better put it in a shower cap if you don't."

"What?" Her hair was already wet, and she blanched. "Oh… well, crap. Too late now, huh?"

"Dumbbell." But she didn't say anything more as Usagi quickly undid her buns, letting her hair fall loose down her back as she rinsed it out.

In that moment, as she watched Usagi close her eyes and let the water drench her long, golden locks, Rei was struck by something she hadn't spent a lot of time thinking about. That Usagi was a girl, and a pretty one. She spent so much time fixated on how dumb and annoying she was that sometimes, remembering that she was also a person was a lot harder than it should have been. Maybe it was the peaceful expression that she didn't often get to see on Usagi's face that made it that much more obvious now.

"Oh no…"

"Hm?" Rei said, snapped out of her reverie. "What's up?"

"I forgot shampoo," she whispered, looking embarrassed with her hair all damp and hanging around her face and shoulders. That definitely broke the spell. Rolling her eyes toward the ceiling, Rei reached into the basket for her own bottle and handed it over.

"Hopeless. Completely hopeless, you know that?"

Usagi clasped her hands on either side of the bottle in front of her face and bowed slightly. "I'm sorry! Really, I'll pay you back for it! Only… not right now, I'm kinda tight on money…"

"You never have money! Just… wash your stupid hair!"

And that was that. Or it was supposed to be. When she saw Usagi moping and scrubbing the suds into her hair, she began to feel bad for snapping at her. Normally, she wouldn't have, and she knew it was partly because this trip had been her suggestion that it affected her more than usual.

"Thanks," Usagi said earnestly when she handed the bottle back.

"Yeah. It's… no big deal, I guess. Just one little blob of shampoo."

As she lathered her own and watched her friend rinse hers out, then rinsed hers while Usagi began to wash, she felt worse and worse. Neither the borrowing nor the snapping had been too terrible, yet it stood out like a sore thumb in her memory. The point of this trip was to get closer to Usagi, to stop the bickering by learning to understand her comrade-in-arms. Maybe it wasn't enough to be in the same room; she had to put in actual effort.

So when she saw Usagi trying to reach around behind her back with her washcloth, she turned on her stool and said, "Here, I can do that."

"Huh? Really? You?"

"No, Akarenger," she scoffed, striking a heroic pose. "Super Sentai!" Catching her own ever-present sarcasm this time, she sighed and made herself say, "I mean, it's just an offer; if you don't want me to, that's fine."

"N-no," Usagi stuttered, surprised at the genuine response — even if it followed the random TV show reference. "I just… well, if you're sure you don't mind?"

When Rei shook her head and reached for the cloth, Usagi handed it over before she turned to face away from her and gathered up her hair atop her head, starting to gently wring out the water and then bundling it above her with her towel. Feeling a little weird but trying not to care, she began to gently scrub her back.

"Ahhhh… guess somebody's washing me, after all. Even if it's not my mom."

"Don't make it weird by moaning," she grumbled. This time, she actually felt Usagi tense, so she said, "Sorry."

"What are you sorry for? I'm the one that made the noise."

"Because it's a pretty normal noise; I just…" Sighing, she scrubbed a little harder. "Why do you care so much about what I say when I'm always on your case? I'm surprised you don't just flip me off everytime I open my mouth by now."

It only took a second for her to get over the question being asked in order to answer. "Well… y'know. You're my friend. I care what you have to say, I guess. Even when it's mean," she added in a more petulant tone.

Normally, Rei would have hopped all over that last part. The instinct was there. But hearing that Usagi still cared what she had to say, even when they were arguing like children, changed how she felt like reacting. "Really? I mean… wow. I don't know, I thought you hated me."

"I thought you hated me! Like, you're always the one yelling at me and telling me to be less stupid, or whatever, and I don't really know how to do that! I'm just… me, y'know?" Then she slumped a little lower. It was actually convenient, because Rei had been about to ask her to lean forward so she could more easily get her lower back. "Now I get to be a dumb Sailor Moon on top of being a dumb student and a dumb person in general. Like, how am I supposed to handle fighting the Dark Kingdom creeps if I can't even handle my classes?"

After a few stunned seconds, Rei lowered the rag as she whispered, "Huh."

"What?"

"Oh. I, um… I figured you didn't care about any of that. You always act like all you care about are boys, manga, and dessert. Since when have you cared about being a good Senshi?"

"Since always. Just don't know how to do it, that's all." Then she turned to reach for the washcloth. "Your turn."

Nodding, Rei put her own wet hair up and spun on the stool to face the opposite direction. It didn't take long for the soapy cloth to appear on her back, and she felt herself relaxing the same way Usagi had relaxed. Maybe there was something to her grandfather's insistence that "skinship" between young women was important; that being uninhibited physically might help them be uninhibited emotionally. In the back of her mind, she had worried that he was up to his usual perverted antics again, but he'd never done anything like that to her specifically since she was family so this time, she was willing to give the old letch the benefit of a doubt.

"Usagi-san? I, um… well, I'll do my best to help you. Be a better Senshi, I mean. It might not happen right away, sure, because you're a giant ball of klutziness. But if you really want to get better, I think you can."

"Whoa…" She didn't expect such a strong reaction, but she was smiling about it. That is, until she heard Usagi finish with, "I don't think you've ever called me 'Usagi-san' since we met. What's up with that?"

Huffing through her lips, Rei remained silent for a moment rather than snap something irritably. After all, progress was progress. And her patience was rewarded a second later in a way she couldn't have predicted in a million years.

"It's… too nice. I don't deserve you acting like I'm that important."

"What? I mean, what do you mean?" After a second, a face was pushing into the back of her neck. "H-hey, don't-"

"Okay, so I kind of suspected you were gonna pull some kind of prank on me once we got here. So like, I was planning to wait until you started to act like a jerk, and then push you onto one of the attendants or something. Get you thrown out. Then you'd lose the bet and I'd get back at you for, y'know, whatever the prank was." The face shifted a little, and Rei felt an odd shiver down her spine. "But now… I'm pretty sure there's no prank. So that means I'm just a… suspicious jerk, and a bad friend for thinking you'd do that. I'm really sorry."

Their two spots were mostly silent, other than the sound of running water. Then Rei began to giggle. After a second or two, she felt Usagi draw away in mild concern and shock, so she turned around to smile at her over her shoulder.

"Can't lie, that's pretty hilarious. I'd be royally ticked off if you actually went through with it, sure, but like… the idea is funny. Could probably record it and get on that show 'Kato-chan Ken-chan Gokigen'." When she only got a lot of blinking in return, she went on, "And I get it, I'm kind of a bitch to you most of the time. No wonder you thought I invited you here as a set-up."

"I didn't think that for sure," Usagi hedged with an uncomfortable squirm. "And you aren't a B-word. Just…"

Hearing Usagi at a loss for another word to describe her personality made Rei's heart sink. "Alright… I'm sorry. I really am, Usagi, but you do drive me up a wall sometimes! And I just… react badly. I should learn to treat you better."

"Rei-chan…"

For some reason, the way Usagi said her name that time, with the overly-familiar honorific attached, made her more uncomfortable than the formal "-san" did. She knew it was only because Usagi wasn't used to hearing her be nice in such a way, but the fact that she was naked and washing her back made it come across a little differently.

"A-anyway," she finally said, clearing her throat. "Hurry up so we can go soak."

"Yeah… y-yes, you're right." Then she started scrubbing with renewed vigor, causing Rei to hiss from the harsh feeling. "Sorry!"

They rinsed off the soap thoroughly, then picked their way across to the baths. After some testing, they found one that was hot but not scalding and slowly lowered themselves into it, making yipping noises that caused the ladies in the nearby boiling-hot tub to chuckle at them.

"I'm glad we could come here and provide them with so much comedy gold!" Rei grumbled under her breath.

"Old women are funny," Usagi tittered as she settled in next to her. "And I'm used to everybody laughing at me when I trip and fall on my face or whatever."

"Hmph. We should send you to finishing school, right? Teach you how to walk with poise and dignity. And not trip over those clumsy feet," she added, poking one of Usagi's with her own underwater. It earned her a laugh and a kick in return, which she let happen this time instead of shoving back. "That plus our karate training, and you might not be uncoordinated forever."

"You're being mean again!" Rei butted her shoulder against Usagi's, and she shoved back, and they had a brief contest of strength that ended with Usagi nearly falling over. This time, unlike usual, she grasped Usagi's arm and kept her from getting her hair-towel wet by going completely under. It was weird how they were still squabbling but it was quite different than their usual squabbles. Gentler, and of a more friendly nature.

After a few minutes of playful splashing and teasing, which made a few of the women in the other bath move further away — their own tub was empty other than the two of them in the first place — they settled in to lean against each other slightly, recovering their wind.

"So how long do you think it's gonna take us to find Serenity?"

"Princess Serenity?" Rei asked, and she felt Usagi nod. "Hmm… no idea. Luna keeps saying she could be anywhere and we have to keep our eyes open, but like… I have no idea who we're looking for."

"Exactly! How are we supposed to find some princess we've never met, or even seen a picture of?!"

"She's bonkers! We could at least get a description! How tall is she, does she have a birthmark?"

Holding up one slightly-pruning finger, Usagi said, "Where does she live? What's her blood type, her measurements?"

"Now it sounds like we're making her a dating profile." They both laughed a little, then let it naturally subside. "Ohhh… yeah, I'm frustrated with that, too. If it's so damned important that we find her and protect her, then we could use a couple more details."

A few seconds passed in relative silence, save for the distant sounds of showering and other conversations. Then Usagi said in a quiet voice, "I… did think I found her once."

"Hm?"

"The princess." Shifting slightly, she went on, "I thought it might have been you, Rei."

"WHAT?!" she burst out, and she felt Usagi flinch away from the outburst so she lowered her voice. "What do you mean? Of course it's not me, I'm Sailor Mars!"

"I know that NOW!" she shot back defensively. Then she reluctantly leaned back again, and when Rei didn't shove her away her face settled on Rei's shoulder. "But like, the first time I saw you at the shrine… you were so beautiful and glamorous looking, and kind of… I dunno, elegant, but fierce? A little bit taller than me, even though you only had zori on and I was wearing shoes with actual heels… and I felt my heart beating faster, my head lighter, and I thought, 'Wow, she's so perfect. She has to be Princess Serenity.' Pretty dumb now, I guess."

"Perfect?" Rei couldn't help whispering. She didn't know what else to say other than asking about that.

"Sure. I mean, have you seen you?" Usagi's tone was clearly matter-of-fact, as if anyone looking at Rei would think the same thing.

"Y-you're right, that is dumb. By now you know I'm anything but perfect. All I do is keep being mean to you. Maybe you're kind of lazy and forgetful, but you're obviously trying your best, and I just…"

When the sentence was never finished, Usagi's face turned slightly to look up at her. Then she drew back in alarm. "Rei? Rei, what's wrong, what happened?"

"I d-don't know," she sniffled quietly, not sure why she was crying now, either. "Sorry. But what you said was so sweet! I can't believe you… really…."

"Hey, I didn't say it to be 'sweet'," she gushed ahead nervously, waving both of her hands. And she only continued to talk faster and faster. "It was just a thought in my brain! Like, you're really pretty, in a super glamorous, classic Japanese way, you have- like your hair is always so shiny, and even in a miko outfit with no makeup or anything y-you're way cuter than most of the girls I know! Or maybe it was the outfit that made me think you were the princess; like, I don't see any women wearing stuff besides normal boring clothes often, a-at least I didn't before I became Sailor Moon — and even that outfit is just a sailor fuku with-"

It was the stupidest thing she could have done. Rei only meant to shut Usagi up, but for some reason, with her arms underwater the way they were and Usagi so close, it seemed like it would take more effort to bring them up out of the water to push a hand over her mouth. Also, she was too flattered and dumbstruck to put into words the reason she wanted Usagi to be quiet, and her usual tactic of just shouting "SHUT UP, MORON!" would have been in poor taste after she had just got done reminding herself to be nicer to her teammate, especially when she was being so nice herself.

So those were the reasons, strange as they were, that Rei kissed her.

And it worked. Obviously, having a mouth pressing into hers cut off anything else Usagi had been about to say. There were a few "MMPH!" noises before she relaxed into the contact, and the lips kneaded each other until the consequences of her actions began to catch up to Rei and she drew away, eyes wide as saucers and chest heaving with adrenaline.

Even as she watched Usagi's hand slowly raise up to touch her bottom lip in amazement, she heard a chorus of "UWAAA?!" floating up from the shocked ladies in the nearby bath. They began muttering shortly afterward, and then one of them said "yuri", which made Rei's face began to glow like a stoplight.

"R-Rei, you… I don't… what?"

"Shhhh!" she hissed, crossing her arms over her chest and turning to look away. "That wasn't a… that w-was only supposed to get you to stop babbling so much! I didn't know what else to do!"

"You kissed me. Oh my God, whoa, what…. It was so soft…"

"It was?" Quickly shaking out her head, she ducked it down lower until her chin was slightly under the surface. "Shut up! Seriously, w-we shouldn't talk about it! Ever!"

"It really does taste like lemon!"

Rolling her eyes, she rolled a little further away, trying to ignore both Usagi and the other ladies who wouldn't stop whispering and pointing at them. "You sound like a primary schooler."

"But why would you do that? Like… you were crying, and I was just talking like a weirdo, so I don't get it. That came out of nowhere!" Then Usagi's voice took on a teasing tone, which immediately made Rei's stomach drop clear to the bottom of the tub. "Or did it? Have you been thinking about that for longer than just today?"

"Usagi, enough! It was one kiss, no big deal! Don't they say most girls go through a phase? 'Class S' or whatever?!"

"Oh, so now you're saying you have a crush on me for real?" she kept teasing. But as Rei stewed, Usagi slid her arms around Rei's middle — and trying to pretend she didn't feel a pleasant thrill shoot into the pit of her stomach wasn't easy. "It's okay, don't fight it. Just show me that big rainbow heart of yours, PRINCESS REI!"

"Do you want to die by drowning in a sento, Bun-head? Is that really how you want to be remembered?!"

Usagi was still giggling when they heard a very loud clearing of a throat somewhere above them. They both slowly craned their faces upward to see the attendant of the baths with her arms folded over her chest, steam-coated glasses glaring daggers downward. She didn't seem to find the situation nearly so amusing.

                                                          ~ o ~

And that was the story of how Rei Hino and Usagi Tsukino got thrown out of a bathhouse and asked never to return. At least neither one 'lost' so nobody had to pay for the other's ice cream.

"I'll never tell another soul," Usagi was promising her as they walked back to the temple. "Even if I might tease you when it's just us, like… that's different."

"Thank you," she sighed, feeling oddly both refreshed and completely drained. "Especially not grandpa or Ami — or Luna! Like, no thank you, I don't need to spend the rest of my life explaining that!" When she felt an arm sliding through hers, she bristled. "Usa…"

"I want to be escorted by my beautiful, blushing princess," she whispered. Said blush worsened a lot. "I mean, maybe you're no Tuxedo Mask, but I could do worse."

"Do you want another kiss? Are you angling for that?"

"Maybe."

Rei stopped dead, turning to stare down at her as the breeze ruffled clean clothes around clean bodies. It felt chilly, even though it wasn't a very chilly time of year. "I'll really do it. Don't be an idiot if you don't want another kiss for real."

"Bet you won't." It was somehow even more thrilling because Usagi was teasing her so much, when normally by now she would have backed down or started whining about something. "Bet you that ice cream that you're all talk."

"Oh yeah?!" Once she had grabbed Usagi by the shoulders and pulled her in close, she hesitated. "Um…"

"Rei… oh my God…" But Usagi didn't complain further or try to push her away. When Rei bit her lip and swallowed hard, she whispered, "You don't have to. I'll buy the ice cream. Really, I mean it."

Forcing herself to breathe, she whispered, "Maybe I want to. Did you ever think of that? Did you…" Licking her lips, she leaned closer, "Just to see. Just to find out if I liked it, or if it was the steam going to my head."

After a moment of her own indecision, Usagi breathed, "Sure. If… it'll help…"

That was all the prompting Rei needed. This time, it was a lot slower, more real, and she was stunned by how sweet and perfect the moment became the longer it went on. While it didn't exactly taste like lemon, Usagi's mouth was so open to her, and soft and vulnerable, and she couldn't believe she was being allowed to try it out like this with little-to-no strings attached. The hands that slipped around her waist made her squeak into the mouth, but that only opened her up to a hesitant, curious tongue, which she surprised herself by welcoming inward right away.

Usagi was frenching her. In the street, in front of everyone! And she didn't care. Well, that wasn't true; she cared a LOT but she was too swept up in the novelty, the desire to explore this, to let anything else stop her at the moment. She saw something move out of the corner of her eye…

Once they broke apart, breathing hard and trying to ignore the clapping of a group of high school boys who had witnessed their moment, Rei pushed her hand to her mouth for a long few seconds. Then she finally whispered, "Your foot popped."

"Huh? Popped, wha… what? Oh wow, you're such a good kisser…"

"Mmm, yeah, you too. I m-mean- well, not like I have anything to compare it to…" Then she cleared her throat and put her hands in the small of her back shyly as they started walking again. "But during the kiss, I saw your foot pop up as you leaned in. It was really cute."

"I did?! And it was cute? Oh wow, it- like, I was so focused on your mouth that I didn't notice-" A little squeak floated out as she remembered. "Your tongue! I know what your tongue feels like, holy moonbeams!"

"Shut up already, don't say that so loud! Everybody already saw us!" Both of their faces were glowing red, so it barely mattered that Usagi took her arm again. This soon — minutes after they first kissed, that was beginning to feel normal, which she was fairly certain was anything but normal. "Usagi… do you think this is only a Class S thing, a phase, or are we really…?"

The blonde's shoulders rose and fell as she laid her head on Rei's shoulder. "Who cares? Let's just… go with it for now. I got to kiss my princess; it's like a fairy tale."

Though she wanted to protest, to demand Usagi stop calling her that or move away so they would be less conspicuous, she wound up putting her own hand on the one poking through her arm, her heart fluttering when she felt the little blonde cling right back. "Fine, granola bar brain. Just don't forget that so-called 'magical' first kiss was while we were totally naked."

Rei's plan to take the wind out of Usagi's sails backfired drastically. That thought helped neither of them stop blushing the entire way home.

                                                          THE END

                                                                 [Next: Naru!]

[rageagainstthemarine]

Do Not Reach Beyond the Sky (4/?)

Warnings: None Tags: Canon-typical violence, Freeform, Retelling, Additional Tags Pairing: None yet Characters: All of them

Fahleon Lavellan is several things, a Dalish elf, a deserter Warden, but Herald of Andraste is not of them. The Creators have played a cruel trick if anyone is to believe he played some part of the Conclave even if the evidence is a rift-sealing mark on his hand. Where he does fit, he doesn’t know and isn’t fond of finding out.

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Cassandra surrounded herself with strange company - and she was strange enough on her own. She was fairly tolerant of the dwarf she'd shown herself to hate. She showed him more compassion than she had ever had for him. Varric chatted constantly about everything from the wet of his socks to the part of his hair, and not once did Cassandra raise a hand against him. It was only by the Creators' divine intervention that he spoke with no intention of being truly heard that kept Fahleon's own hands clenched tight at his sides. It was easier, and with less consequence, to tune out Varric's sudden and vicious hatred towards hills, and the background buzz was easier on his ears than another clap to his head. It was still loud enough to keep any thoughts at bay, and Fahleon found a headache pound at the forefront of his mind at the growing frustration of not not knowing where he was and where he was going.

Solas was even stranger, and the way Fahleon gravitated towards him so easily was unnerving. Outside of Fahleon himself, he was the only elf he'd met since leaving the clan and he felt almost safer with another of his kin nearby and that wasn't odd. His magic buzzed along the lines of the mark in a way that was almost pleasant after the burn of power it took to close the rift, and that wasn't it either. It was his complaints about apostasy and spirits that were almost welcomed in his soft tone, and Fahleon caught himself with his head tilted to pick up every gentle word. Fahleon wouldn't call it soothing - he wasn't foolish enough to believe he could relax enough around Cassandra and her disapproval, but he was finding it easier to go along with her demands so long as Solas did. That unnerved him. How easily he approved of Solas, as bare as he was of the vallaslin that would mark him as Dalish.

The mage caught him off guard again with a chuckle. He'd been staring and wandered every closer, and Fahleon busied himself with checking the number of arrows left in the pouch at his hip to keep his face away from the mage's direct line of vision. As if he could reminds, he didn't remark his embarrassment, but he did bring up the Dalish. Fahleon frowned at that.

"You're very far from you clan. Did they send you here?" Solas asked. Despite his own warning to himself, the answer was ready on his tongue and he pursed his lips to keep it from jumping past them. If he could read minds, Solas would already know the truth of his lie. He toyed with the fletched arrows a moment longer and flicked his eyes to Cassandra. She was out of earshot, still engrossed in not listening to Varric, but he continued with his story with a strong thought of the truth. Just in case.

"The Wardens sought for me." He watched Solas' face but there was no sudden realization that brightened his face any more than the waning sunlight already did, but his smile did grow a fraction. Fahleon's brow furrowed.

"The Wardens? Now that's an interesting turn. You are not what I expected."

Fahleon's nod was hesitant and slow. Did he read minds or not, or was he only laughing at the stupidity on his face? "You say that like you know them," he said, even slower. There was nothing behind the red of cold and windburn, not a trace of a hidden tattoo. The way he held his arms behind his back, folded and in the way of casting fast, and stepped so sure of himself even with the snow blinding them all at every footfall spoke of a confidence and a comfort of being surrounded by beings not of his kind. It puzzled him to no end, and Fahleon was not fond of puzzles. He used elven magic and knew some of the Dalish culture. That should have been enough but there was something he wasn't saying.

"I have wandered many roads in my time and crossed paths with your people on more than one occasion, but I do not know them personally. They are not my people, and I do not consider myself Dalish, if that was your question," Solas confirmed for him, without even having to ask.

There. There was that feeling of unease, hot and heavy in the center of his chest, and Fahleon let the disappointment remind him of the lesson he should have held close - that no one here was a friend to him. They all had their agenda, all of which included using him until he wasn't needed.

His lip curled and Solas nodded, like he wanted to acknowledge his anger, as if he needed it to be recognized. Fahleon felt a snarl well up in the back of his throat, but he'd walked to Cassandra, as straight and proud as any human. Fahleon didn't weave any path near him and his stomach churned if he neared any closer. So that was what the polite laughs were for. Solas wore no marks because he had no need of them, not when he was only playing at elven. He could say he didn't see the Dalish as his people, but it was the comfort around Cassandra that truly spoke for it. As if any elf could feel truly at ease around shems. Anger clouded his eyes until a hand on his shoulder stopped him from walking over the dwarf. His skin prickled under the touch and he jerked away with a growl. Varric drew his hand back to himself and raised both, palms out and fingers splayed empty.

"No need to bite, we're all friends here. Or, well, maybe we're not ready to roast chestnuts over a fire, but no one's stabbing each other," Varric said, and he knocked a thumb back over his shoulder. "Don't let Chuckles get to you. He's a weird one - weirder, I'd say, with all the shit that comes out of his mouth - but he means well. If he didn't, he wouldn't have tried so hard to keep you alive and jumping."

Fahleon frowned. It didn't mean he had to like Solas.

Varric snapped his fingers and Fahleon twitched.

"Shit! Smiles!" Fahleon tossed his gaze to the snow to check the path ahead, but saw no mar in the white to watch out for. He lifted a corner of his mouth in case Varric had asked for a demonstration rather than a warning, and frowned deeper when Varric laughed. He'd had enough of that. "Don't hurt yourself - it's just a nickname. Solas over there is Chuckles, and Cassandra is...well, Cassandra is Cassandra. Seeker when she's not around because she will tie me up to a chair and threaten to stab me. That's not what friends do." He raised his voice loud enough for her to hear and Fahleon caught a disgruntled snort. He furrowed his brow, still at a loss. Varric scratched at his cheek. "See, well, Solas has a weird laugh so his nickname is fitting, and I haven't seen you do anything but frown so it's the ironic sort of funny."

"It's funny," Fahleon repeated, with much less enthusiasm, but it didn't stop Varric from clapping him on the shoulder again with encouragement. He squeezed for a moment before wisely letting go. "You'll get the hang of it. Another Dalish I knew didn't understand for a whle either. Daisy was her nickname; as pretty and innocent as a flower until she cut her arms for blood magic."

Fahleon nearly tripped over himself. "Merrill?"

"Shit, Smiles," Varric crowed, face split into a wide grin. "Was she...what was that word she used. Laddle-something."

Recognition startled something that rumbles like a laugh out of his chest. "Lethalan." Varric clapped his hands together with that matter settled, and began another. The sting Solas' not quite betrayal brought upon with his distancing was closed with Varric's wild tale about his clan mate after her banishment, and Fahleon didn't mind his insistent prattle even as the weather soured further and the snow grew deeper. He matched pace with the dwarf and refused to meet Cassandra's eyes, even when she announced their approach to the camp. Varric's last sentence was left only for the wind to hear as Fahleon pushed forward in staggered strides towards it. Ada was just up ahead, and whether he bothered to listen to the dwarf or not wouldn't have mattered. Blood rushed hot and loud in his ears as he followed the screeches.

She was caged like she was nothing more than another messenger raven. He wanted to reach through the bars that pressed tight to her body and pull her free, but she snapped in anger at anything that got close to her - including him. There was some pride in her resilience, but more fear than he was comfortable with. Ada screeched in outrage as her cage was lifted away from him and she fought with beak and talon even in her distress. Fahleon wouldn't let her see him just stand around. He reached for his bow and stopped only when a knife point pricked at his back. Varric was at his side and Fahleon shrugged off both the weapon pointed at him and the hand at his elbow.

"You left him unbound?" a man shouted, like Fahleon was the true animal that should have been caged. He was robed in a white dress edged in yellow and stained red at the hems in some uniformity of the Chantry's sunburst insignia. It burned Fahleon's eyes to look at it, and he lifted his narrowed eyes up to meet the man's face. The man's pointed finger trembled. "He should be caged! He should be beheaded! As Grand Chancellor, I hear by order you to take this criminal to Val Royeaux to face execution!"

He expected another knife in the back. Or, knowing the way things had been going, knives. Plural. Instead, Cassandra argued with him with a voice sharper than any blade, and the one at his spine lifted.

"Order me? You are a glorified clerk," she said, first, and some other insult, second. The attention was off of him and even Varric had taken his hands off him to watch the spectacle. Fahleon slipped a foot forward, and then another, and dared to slip past them all with every eye on the two bickering.

He should have expected to be stopped, again, and of course from Leliana. She stepped on his toes and hushed his hiss with a hand against his chest. He couldn't shove her away unless he wanted a swollen foot, and the smile that made her eyes cold said she knew it, too. With her in the way, he'd lost sight of Ada, and he half a mind to try anyway.

"Remember that we serve the most Holy, Chancellor Rodrick-"

"Who is dead - need I remind you?" He drew in a sharp breath and Fahleon wondered if it was to steady whatever remorse he might - or might not - have felt, or to wrap tight the lie along his tongue. "We must elect a replacement for her and follower her wishes on the matter. But first we need to take care of her murderer-"

"I'll need to kill someone first," Fahleon snapped. He was lucky and frustrated when Leliana spoke over him to mask his anger. Fahleon felt her nails dig into his chest as a warning and he slapped her hand away. She didn't respond to it, and that made it all the worse. The most he could do was send a glare at the chancellor. The outrage on the man's face eased Fahleon's ire. A little.

"We must first get to the temple and stop the rifts before we do anything else." There was a map spread out on a table crafted out of several crates shoved together to separate the raven cages from the supplies. Leliana smoothed the edges of the map out and Fahleon finally shoved past her as she moved around the table. Still, she blocked him from Ada. "I say we send my spies as a distraction while you climb the mountain path. It's the quickest route."

"But not the safest," Cassandra argued. "We've already lost a dozen lives to the mountains. It's too risky to make another attempt." Fahleon felt another pair of eyes hot on him and he turned his attention away from stretching past Leliana to narrow his eyes at Cassandra's red face. "Do you have any opinions on the matter?"

Fahleon glanced behind him and found only space. "You're asking me?"

"You have the mark," Solas said, as if that cleared anything up. Fahleon waited a beat before snorting. Solas shook his head. "It is up to you to decide how to use it."

That wasn't how Fahleon saw it.

"I don't want to use it. I want it gone." Had everyone but him forgotten that he wanted no part of this? That he'd followed along just to get his bird back - and that he hadn't yet. Perhaps that was their game. The longer the chancellor held on to his bird, the longer Fahleon had to play along.

It wasn't a game he enjoyed playing, and he knew Ada was never one for spectating. He whistled a sharp sound and Ada knocked at the cage until it tumbled over. She snapped at Leliana's fingers as the woman tried to right it, and the kite swooped from the bars when the small door swung open. Ada took off, uncaring of the ravens she angered in her haste, and circled high above him. Another shrill call brought her close to him, and Fahleon was unsure if she'd come down at all after her ordeal.

"Whatever's fastest," he finally said, and ignored Cassandra's wry look. She sighed and staightened from her lean over the map.

"The mountain path, then."

"You really won't make this easy for us, will you?" Varric said, surprising him by being the one to complain. He expected more input from Solas for being to rash as the only one to save them all. "I might have to come up with a new name for you, Smiles. Like Crazy or Dumbass, or, Don't Do That You'll Get Us All Killed."

He muttered something else under his breath as he lumbered away and off to follow Cassandra up a latter set into the rock of the cliff at the end of the bridge. Beyond that was even more snow. Fahleon slapped at his sides to fight off against the cold. With the crowd behind them as he worked their way up the mountain, Ada calmed enough to perch on his shoulder and lend her own heat.

The snow turned black the further up the mountain they walked until it was raining gray. Fahleon frowned as he passed blackened trees and signs of fire. He didn't remember a fire. He remembered a mockery of reality, where the sky was green and the ground was wet and it rained liquid fire instead of snow. He remembered the temple as it first broke apart and the screams of those within it. He could see them now, charred black from the blast that had incinerated them completely to mark them forever in the throes of agony. He could see the temple now, nothing more than a hole in the dirt for miles. Fahleon's brow furrowed. If this was how he was found, alive in the middle of this destruction, he almost felt guilty for spitting at Cassandra.

Almost.

He looked to her and her face had softened, somewhat, from stern disapproval to something more resembling apologetic.

Maybe a little more guilty that just almost.

"This is lyrium, Seeker. Red lyrium," Varric hissed as they ducked under what remained of the grand entrance. Large, ornate doors had been blasted to pieces and pillars of something red and glowing and crystalline stood in their place. "Do you know what this means?"

"I do."

Fahleon didn't, but he knew enough that he didn't want to be near it. He gave it as wide a berth as he could between the wall and Cassandra, and felt his skin crawl when he couldn't. It grew more difficult to avoid it as they entered the temple proper. Or, what was left of even that. The rift filled up the main hall from the cracked floor to its broken ceiling to press against the confines of the walls. It made the air thick with ozone and heavy with magic. The rift snapped and the mark crackled back, softer, in a way, but no less powerful. Fahleon shook the static away with a jerk of his hand.

"Bring me the sacrifice."

"What's going on here? Release me!"

He came to a sudden halt and eyed the Breach. He remembered that - the voices, if not who spoke them. Cassandra gave him some hints from her gasp and the curse she muttered her breath. The Divine, probably, and the one who had really started all of this.

"It's a memory from the Breach," Solas explained, unwarranted and unnecessary. "It has have been closed improperly from the initial blast. It will have to be opened again before it can be finally closed."

Fahleon grit his teeth against the way the Breach sucked at the mark, how it dragged his hand away from him. He fought against it and raised it with his own power, on his own time.

"There will be demons. Get ready," Cassandra called.

The magic came pouring from the wound in his hand before he knew what he was doing, and Fahleon cried out as his arm lit ablaze with pain.

[simplyoriginalcharacters]

Esben Teodor Svanevagt

Hi team! I love what you’re doing, and how kind and patient you are about it! Thank you for your time. Apart from a general review of Esben, please help me find any contradictions in his characterization, as well as obvious clichés. SETTING

Esben is part of an ensemble cast, in a story set in contemporary Sweden where witchcraft as known from traditional European fairy tales is real. The story centres on a police task force focussed on zoomorphism curses (people turned into animals). APPEARANCE Esben is a Swede, of medium height, pale-skinned and soft rather than muscular, with unremarkable, outgrown brown hair. His long face is dominated by a strong nose and greyish-blue eyes framed by dark, horn-rimmed glasses. He does not look his age, strangers usually put him around 20 (all of 17 on an off day) when in reality he is pushing 30. All of that is overshadowed by his missing left arm and the white swan’s wing he has instead. The transition at the shoulder is uneven, misshapen feathers growing out of puckered human skin. His remaining hand is soft, nails maintained by a manicurist. His voice is deep and low and he speaks very quietly - people tend to whisper around him. He has a bittersweet smile that almost makes his plain face handsome. He usually folds the wing tightly along his body but he only hides it under jackets (a cape if he’s feeling fancy) when he goes out among strangers. He wears primarily dark colours, blues and browns. At home he just rips the sleeves off shirts, at work he wears professionally altered button-downs (he can do them one-handed) and shoes without laces. PERSONALITY & SOCIAL INTERACTIONS Esben is sharply intelligent but very self-absorbed. He deals better with facts than feelings and he hates explaining himself. He works best alone. Spending his formative years as a swan has severely impacted his ability to relate to people. Despite his quiet, gentle demeanour his factual statements often come across as aloof and uncaring. Nevertheless, he is fascinated by humans in the abstract. He likes processing human data, finding patterns, and he is well read about psychology and criminal profiling. A lot of his time is spent in front of a computer, he has an easier time dealing with people this way. His sense of humour has been warped by memes. It is difficult to get to know him personally. Due to his experiences, he values safety and privacy. His self-defence mechanism is to disengage and withdraw, rather than argue. If pushed beyond the limit he gets angry fast; the only warning he gives is a hissing sound his human vocal chords aren’t quite equipped to produce. In a fight he is surprisingly vicious. He will flap his wing when startled but he hates that response and will be flustered afterwards. He abhors manipulation, violations of trust and sensationalism. He has a special hatred for reporters. DAY-TO-DAY LIFE JOB:  Esben is the computer expert on the task force. He provides online research, fact checking and follow-up on alibis, as well as some minor hacking. He also maintains and monitors a community platform where victims of zoomorphism curses and their families can exchange information and support. Due to his abrupt manner and his recognisability (more in the Backstory section), the leader of the task force rarely takes him out into the field unless his specific experiences can help. When he does get dragged out on a case he is very soft-spoken and distanced. He looks around their homes but only reluctantly into people’s faces. Still, he finds kindness when he needs it most. His tenaciousness and his affinity for technology make him good at his job. He’s a night owl, he likes to ghost through the station at the most ungodly hours, compiling that or following up on this, commenting on the forum. He works for the police because he has expensive tastes, very specific talents, and he likes the combination of seclusion and a steady social life his desk job at the station affords. HOME: He lives on the first floor of a beautiful old city house, with sky high ceilings and designer appliances (or empty spaces where designer pieces are to come - he does not like compromise). He invests a lot of money and care in his home. He shares the apartment with a colleague (see Relationships) and they manage to coexist in a surprisingly healthy symbiosis, as long as he never enters Nils’ room to see the cheap IKEA furniture. HOBBIES: He loves music, he listens mostly through headphones, at work and at home. He likes the classics, Hayden and Beethoven, but also glam rock and weird remixes and electro-swing. He very much identifies himself via his music taste. He does a little mixing (not very well though). He goes to the Kungliga Operan when they show one of the dramatic operas he likes (never Lohengrin). A migratory instinct is still buried deep in his subconscious, to unwind he stays at a family cabin at a secluded lake and watches wild swans. He rather misses flying, he reads poetry instead. It helps him deal with feelings he lacks the words for. BACKSTORY He is the younger son of an Olympia-winning cross-country skiier and his first wife, also an athlete, both darlings of the tabloids at their time. His mother died in a motorbike crash. In time, his father fell in love again, with a beautiful, much younger woman, the daughter of a witch. Jealous of the reminders of her lover’s first marriage, and tired of the children’s attempt to sabotage the relationship, she cursed the boys into swans. Only Elva, young enough not the remember her mother, escaped. But Elva remembered her brothers. Elva wanted them back. She sacrificed two years of her life never laughing, never speaking, weaving shirts out of graveyard nettles, and when the swans came back in spring, she succeeded in breaking the curse – his brother’s completely, his only partially. Zoomorphic curses are rare enough, and their family was high-profile enough, to make the news, kicking off a media circus during his first summer as a teenager. Painful live interviews full of invasive questions, demeaning photographs and some very disturbing ‘fan’ encounters brought on a lot of shame and blame and anger and ultimately broke the family apart. Esben withdrew from humanity for a while, after. He dug himself deeply into a virtual reality that could not hurt him, and after a prolonged affiliation with the Arga Unga Hackare, he came back up with a barely legal set of skills. That knowledge was the reason he got a job with the police. RELATIONSHIPS FAMILY: He has broken off contact with his father and his brother. His sister, Elva, still tries. Their relationship is strained, she needs his absolution and he does not know how to give it, he is still far from reconciled with his wing. FRIENDS: Esben’s closest friend is Nils, the only person who answered his ad for a flatmate. Their experiences are similar enough (Nils was a frog for a while) to create a real bond. Nils made him regain his curiosity about the outside world, he drags him out of his head and his comfort zone, and he calls him out when he’s being stupid or self-destructive. His relationship with the rest of the squad builds over the course of the story. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: He is in a relationship with an online person with whom he communicates exclusively in poetry and song lyrics. He has never seen this person, nor does he wish to. They are an artist, he thinks. Their user pic is The Last Unicorn. He feels unprepared for the complication of another human being.

Hi there, thanks for the kind words! I'll be handling Esben's critique. I just wanted to let you know before we start that I really like the way this is laid out - all the information is very clear separated, and the headings make it really easy to find exactly what I'm looking for. Thanks for that!

Esben's description is really well-done. I like that it has enough details that I can get a pretty clear image of him in my head, without making a list out of them. I also really like the additional information about how he dresses and how he manages his appearance with only one hand - particularly the detail about the manicurist, as it suggests to me that Esben is a person who cares about his appearance and likes to be neat and tidy.

Similarly, his personality comes across clearly. I can see Esben sitting at a computer, perhaps with a mug of a hot drink, smiling wryly at something someone posted on a message board. Perhaps it's a meme; perhaps someone is simply being wrong on the internet. I can also get a very clear picture of how Esben would react in a variety of situations - anger, embarrassment. You bring it across very well! If I have one small criticism here, it is that I don't see a lot of specific information about what makes Esben happy. Does he get a thrill out of solving a puzzle? Does he deal with stress by taking long, hot showers? Has he got a garden of succulents? I don't know, but you've covered some of his more neutral and negative emotions and reactions so well that it seems odd that you haven't covered the positives as clearly.

I understand everything about Esben's work life except one line: what do you mean when you say that "he finds kindness when he needs it most"? Do you mean that he finds it in himself to be kind when others are struggling, despite his difficulties in dealing with others, or that when he's struggling others are kind to him? I suspect it's the first, but the sentence itself is somewhat unclear, so you might want to take another look at it. After reading about his home life, I am a little interested in how much he must be getting paid to afford his "expensive tastes" and "designer appliances". I'm not certain how much computer experts in police stations are normally paid for their work or what sorts of lifestyles that affords them, but it's a minor detail if anything. As long as you can sell it to your readers, you can do anything you like in a fictional world! Esben's hobbies are overall sort of what I expected to read, with a nice surprise in his musical tastes. I like to be surprised, so that works for me. I also like the detail that he listens to music primarily through his headphones, as it matches really well with the information about how private he is! This all knits in very nicely with what we know of Esben's personality.

I'll be honest: I love fairy tales. They're one of my most favorite things in the world. The backstory you've written here is why I took on this profile in the first place - it's true to the feel of the original, but very updated and modern, with contemporary consequences and problems. I like the focus on how his ordeal affected Esben, and I like that you've included what happened to his family, how he coped, and where he developed his skills and why. This is really well-done and I'm quite enamored of it, actually. It makes me want to pick this book up and read it right now! I would like more details here about how Esben coped with the loss of his mother, and the expectations he must have had for his stepmother initially. Grief affects everyone differently, and we don't see the effects of it here, but we probably should. Additionally, a young child with a parent who remarries may have a lot of conflicting feelings about the event, such as happiness that their parent is happy, resentment that this new person is taking over a role perceived as belonging to the deceased parent, reluctance to bond in case this step-parent is also lost, hope for a peaceful home life in the future, etc. You don't need to cover this in depth, but you should at least have some ideas, and try to work them into Esben's existing story and personality so that they make sense for him.

The details you've given here about Esben's relationship with his family members as a whole and his sister specifically make sense, but what I'm missing here is any information about Esben's brother. Does he resent that his brother's curse was fully lifted, does he miss the bond they used to share, does he have any regrets? Does his brother ever try to contact him? And whatever happened to the relationship between his father and stepmother; did they break up after the curse came about, or are they still together, or something else? A lot of drama was alluded to and not written out here, possibly because it isn't relevant to the story you're writing right now, but familiarizing yourself with it can only add more flavor to Esben's reactions to and interactions with others. It's like putting a bay leaf in soup stock: you're not going to eat it, but it still affects the flavor of the final dish.

I like the details you've given here about the relationship he has with Nils, although I wonder if the things you're listing are things Esben appreciates about him or just ways in which their relationship is expressed. On the other hand, it probably isn't necessary to say too much more than this. You could add more information if you wanted to, but if it's going to be covered pretty thoroughly in your story anyway, you might want to leave it be.

As for Esben's relationship status, I'm intrigued and a little confused, but mostly intrigued. This section reminds me a little of what poets used to call "courtly love" - a supposedly "pure" type of love for another person that made itself visible in acts of devotion and tokens of affection, not in physical expression or connection. I think it's understandable given Esben's past that he's conflicted about it, but I also think it's admirable that he's reaching out despite those feelings. Very interesting, and something I would love to see explored in more depth.

So, as for your questions, I'm afraid my answers will be unhelpful. I don't see any obvious cliches here, first of all; there were a few places where I read something and thought "of course this is how it is", but in the sense that a detail made sense for the character, not because it was something that I found cliche. I don't see any really glaring contradictions in his characterization, either - I cannot tell you enough how well you've assembled this character. Every piece of information fits together to form a very cohesive, very interesting, and well-rounded person. Esben is complex in the way that real people are complex, and I think that can be a very tricky thing to pull off sometimes, so I absolutely want you to know how much I admire that in this profile.

I can't think of anything here that absolutely requires revision on your part, but I hope that some of my suggestions and questions have at least given you something to think about. If you do choose to make any revisions and you'd like me to take another look, I would be positively delighted. Likewise, should you have any other characters you'd like me to take a look at, I'm sure I would enjoy them just as much. When you finish this story, let me know - I want to read it! Good luck with your writing!

-Kyo

[sailor2xmoon]

Alternate Ending: Shion dies at the Correctional Facility, Nezumi does not.

Shion tells Nezumi about a book he read, The Five Stages of Grief. Nezumi enters stage one when he covers Shion's body with his jacket on the correctional facility floor. (x)

Rikiga throws Nezumi over his shoulder "Don't die here Eve, Shion is already gone." Nezumi can't stay conscious enough to fight back but he doesn't want to leave.

Put me down. I can't leave Shion. Let me sing for him... Shion. Shion. Sh-

Inukashi is running next to them, crying as quietly as possible. It wasn't supposed to end like this.

The correctional facility collapses, the walls between No.6 and westblock crumble just like Shion's third option, but Shion doesn't know because he is buried underneath the rubble. That's fine. Nezumi thinks it was a worthy cause if any existed, Shion had to be sacrificed for his vision to come true, fair enough. It's how the world works. Who knows if Shion is even dead, crazier things have happened, it's fine. He manages bed rest for two whole days before it becomes suffocating. Staring at the ceiling, Nezumi never noticed how cold it gets at night. Living people are so warm. There are strands of shiny white hair left on the pillow. 

When it turns out the manager didn't die in the manhunt, Nezumi goes to work at the theatre. For a few hours, Nezumi gets to become someone else and he feels relieved. With the fall of No. 6, chaos floods westblock and the audience becomes more colourful than ever. Eve performs as many shows as the manager wants under one condition, Nezumi will not sing. Sometimes Eve sees a tuft of white hair in the audience, just at the corner of his eye. But the stage lights are too blinding, his eyes can never adjust quick enough to catch the culprit.

Is Shion going to surprise me after the show with his air headed smile? "Ha, I got you good huh? Don't underestimate me, I can take care of myself." After the show, Nezumi sometimes receive flowers and trinkets, but that flash of white hair never materializes into anything more than a hallucination.

Nezumi still goes to the market, still goes to Inukashi for miscellaneous jobs, and hell, even finds Rikiga to be useful if there's enough money on the line. Life continues like clockwork, Nezumi doesn't feel anything about anything. He thinks maybe the emotional part of him disintegrated with the city, and he is finally free from those messy feelings that caused him so much inner turmoil. Nezumi wonders if he has reached a state of nirvana, but the catch 22 remains. There is no more hatred and bitterness the same way there is no happiness or pride. There is nothing at all.

Every time Nezumi meets with his two associates, and they look increasingly unsettled. Rikiga and Inukashi glance at each other with side eyed wariness, an unspoken name, like a thick, damp fog rests on the three of them, Nezumi can't find it in him to care. It wasn't hard to see how Shion exposed the hidden humanity that Nezumi tried so desperately to abandon, even if only a glimpse.You're only human. You can only do so much. Inukashi warned Nezumi the night Shion kisses him goodbye. 

Nearly a month passes and it's finally Inukashi who breaches the subject.

"Nezumi, this is going to sound uh..." This is unknown territory for them. "About Shion..."

"Shion is dead, what about him."

Inukashi's eyes widen and he scrunches his nose before tearing straight into Nezumi's invisible, bleeding wound. There was no need for pretense between a dog and a rat. "You reek of grief. It'll only go away after you let it take its course."

"Sincerest apologies, your highness. I promise to take a shower next time if you agree to do the same." Nezumi sneers.

"Nezumi I'm serious. You're in den-"

"Shion's dead, I get it. What do you want? A waterworks show?" Nezumi bites out his words, eyes glinting.

"Okay." Inukashi winces. "Rikiga and I are planning to hold a little memorial if you..."

"Waste of time." Nezumi turns his back and begins to walk away. What if he's still alive?

Inukashi says nothing.

Nezumi goes to the market place and buys cherry pie in case today was the day Shion was coming back to surprise him. He does this every time an elusive head of white hair escapes his scrutiny. Sometimes at the theatre, sometimes in the market, sometimes even in the underground room they used to live. Later that night, when Shion does not pop out from behind a bookshelf, Nezumi tries to eat the cherry pie only to realize the vendor had swindled him with a convincing illusion. It looks like cherry pie. It feels like cherry pie. It tastes like dust.

Nezumi looks for The Illiad and finds that it's been put back on the shelf, in the Classics/Mythology section arranged in alphabetical order. He is annoyed. Shion just had to clean it up and now Nezumi can't find where anything is and has to follow a shitty library system just to find that stupid book that would've been strewn on the floor next to their bed. His bed.

Later, Cravat finds a stray button that had fallen off Shions' cardigan and holds it in his front paws, squeaking to Nezumi. Now he's pissed. Stupid Shion never sewed that button back on his sweater even though it's a lot warmer without a gaping hole down the center. Stupid Shion never listened when Nezumi tried to teach him the basic tactics of survival. Why does he always have to go out and put himself in life threatening danger all the time. Why can't he have some sense of self preservation? No. 6 citizens are all like that, so spoiled and ignorant in the face of danger. After 8 whole months and Shion improved only marginally in avoiding dangerous situations, it's like he was almost drawn to trouble. Why is he like that? Always a breath away from death, doesn't he know what that does to Nezumi? 

Nezumi is furious at Shion but more so with himself for giving in to such idealistic thinking. They shouldn't have gone to the facility, Safu was already dead by the time we got there anyways. Nezumi is also not too happy with Safu. Why'd she have to get captured of all people, being attached to someone is so restraining for this exact reason. Always trying to keep someone else alive as if keeping yourself safe wasn't already enough work, especially with someone like Shion. If she didn't get caught Shion would still be alive today.

The image of Shion, with his hand outstretched and a bloody rose blooming out from his shirt, falling backwards down the garbage chute. Down, down, down... 

Shion's heart stopped before they hit the ground. Nezumi didn't get to say goodbye, he didn't get to say anything. ("Don't you ever give me a goodbye kiss again!")

I should have gone down with the correctional facility but Rikiga and Inukashi carried me out. Why did they do that? They had no right to do that. I should have died next to Shion. But instead I'm left here all alone. He remembers the conversation that happens last spring, Shion standing there with Hamlet on his shoulder. 

Whats summer here like?

I want to spend the summer here. 

We'll come back to this room, together.

Alive? Nezumi asks. 

Alive. Shion answers. 

Liar. LIAR. Making promises he could not keep, Nezumi would never break his words. (What about your promise to Karan?)

The next time he meets with Inukashi and Rikiga, Nezumi starts off cool but there is a white hot burn clawing inside his chest. The ice he wears melts and his sharp tongue is quick to dole out cutting remarks upon the slightest provocation. It was all their fault, they think too much of themselves, to act as if they know what's better for me than myself. I should have died with Shion! He yells. Rikiga looks resigned, and Inukashi, almost horrified. 

I should have died with him. I wanted to. (Do I still?)

The survivors are the one who win. SO WHY DID YOU LOSE SHION? 

Why? There will never be a good enough answer. Nezumi hates Shion for chaining him down in a way he can't bring himself to escape from. They should have never met. Nezumi would just find somewhere else to hide in the next life, he would have died in that storm and maybe that was for the best. But instead, Shion saved him in more ways than one, and Nezumi is left without answers. WHY? Nezumi can't understand why. Anger boils inside him because this is all wrong.

Was there a right way to do this? Maybe if Nezumi had gone into the chute first and Shion would climb in after him. With his back to the shooter and a super fibre cloak, that bullet would've missed his heart. Maybe if they had just walked a little faster, that guard would've passed by only after they had both escaped down the chute.

What if they hadn't spent so long gawking at those corpses on the conveyor belt, then maybe Rashi wouldn't have caught them mid way and Nezumi wouldn't have been injured. What if Shion didn't need to shoot someone in order to protect Nezumi and dirty his hands the way he did. What if Safu was alive and the three of them managed to escape and destroy the correctional facility. What if everything just went according to plan? Or if Elyrius had protected them the entire time and everything that went wrong was made right by divine intervention.

Maybe Nezumi should have just taken care of it himself. Shion had a good memory but a robotic mouse can store enough information for Nezumi to make the trip alone. It would have been much easier for him to get around without having Shion to worry about. Then maybe he wouldn't even get into all those shoot outs or take a detour to find Rou. Even if Nezumi didn't manage to make it back, at least Shion would still be alive. Probably in this room, organizing books and worrying about Nezumi. Shion should be in my place, Nezumi thinks bitterly. He can deal with the torture of being the one to survive.

What if, what if, what if. These words eat at him, Nezumi cannot help but to think of all the things that could've been done differently. If I had a time machine... Shion would still be alive if only...

This must be revenge, Nezumi thinks. Some form of higher power made aware of his dubious morals has been looking for a way to to settle the score. Nezumi couldn't think of anything more terrifying than losing Shion. Not even all the pain and cruelty in his past could induce such a fight or flight response in him, not the way Shion did when he tried to run off to the Correctional Facility alone. He was running straight to his death and Nezumi will be damned if he let Shion do it alone. 

Nezumi can't understand why Shion dies when he gets to live. The world needed more Shions and less Nezumis. 

Hey higher power, what if I promise to give bread to wide eyed children like Shion did? What if I look for the good in strangers who had none visible? If Shion lives through my actions, can I repent? Will you give him back to me?

If Shion comes back Nezumi promises himself he would drop the grudge against No. 6 for good. Or even given the chance to go back and never telling Shion about Safu in the first place. Yeah it'd be selfish, but that's what people are. Nezumi would stand by his choice if he got to make it again. If he knew the outcome. If the correctional facility must stand in exchange for you to be back by my side, I would let it. 

Hindsight is 20/20 and Nezumi couldn't help but look.

Nezumi cries after the goodbye kiss, tears rolling down his face before he could register what was happening. Nezumi cries after Shion kills another human being, it's embarrassing but he can't stop even though he tries. Nezumi does not cry when he touches Shions face to find that it's gone cold, like turning on a tap with the water shut off. If the pipes had been frozen then, that is now no longer the case, the dam bursts. Nezumi hates the taste of tears in his mouth but lately he has been drinking oceans because it tastes like the over salted soup Shion makes. Because it is punishment, because Shion is gone and not coming back. Nezumi has nothing left but memories. The gift of a memory, that's what Shion would say. 

These are not gifts, they are cinder blocks around his ankles when Nezumi was already drowning. The moments won't stop playing in his head, the ones he so desperately wants to throw away. But it's embedded into his skin like splinters. Every point of contact hurts, and when it doesn't, Nezumi can feel it. Irritated, begging to be picked at but never to be picked out.

The little underground room Nezumi has spent years living alone in is now suddenly too empty. He was a wanderer and never knew a place to be home, why should this place be different. But then Shion came and Nezumi says to Inukashi that he's going home without realizing the connotations. Inukashi hears it loud and clear. 

The underground room was not home, Shion was. How does it feel to tame a wanderer only to disappear and leave him in the desolate cold?

Nezumi stops going to work so he can stare at the coffee table from his bed. Most of his effort spent on ignoring the endless hurt flowing out his tear ducts. Maybe if I cry until I'm drained dry then it will finally stop. Nezumi stops eating and drinking and sleeping in the meanwhile. He is determined to starve this sadness to death, if that means taking the vessel along then that's just collateral damage.

Would you forget it all if you could? Shion asks him in a deprivation induced hallucination. They're in bed, floating in the ocean. Water laps at the sides of their mattress, Shion is wearing a blood stained shirt, the dream will end when they are consumed by the waves. 

No, Nezumi says even though he wants to lie and say yes. You know the final stage is acceptance, Shion says with a smile. His hair glitters in the sunlight, sometimes, if Nezumi squints, Shions' hair is every colour all at once. Tell me the truth, Nezumi.

He feels as if they are floating away. Nezumi is too exhausted to be anything other than honest. You are my humanity.

The water swells and pulls them under. Nezumi wakes up reaching out for Shion.

He finds no peace in this truth. Nezumi leaves west block to find a new place knowing nowhere will ever be home (again). He wears his loneliness around him like armour, trying to conceal the pain that still bleed out his pores. He travels for years and always keeps an eye out for a boy with snow white hair. Nezumi looks for answers and finds only threads. Shion appears to him in dreams, in a trick of the light when Nezumi stands in a crowded marketplace, in Cravat and Hamlet and Tsukyio. In hurricane storms and untouched snow. 

We'll meet again, Shion. That's a promise. 

Nezumi remains alone.  

 I will always open the balcony door for you. No matter how many times I go back, meeting you made me into who I am. Shion tells him with determination in his eyes and Nezumi can't help but wonder why. Do you really believe that? Meeting me killed you, Shion.

Well, that's okay, isn't it? I would have been a shell of a person, going through the motions, working for a faceless authority until I was deemed worthless and thrown away. But instead I got to truly live as myself, you awakened me, and I got to live by your side. For that, my answer will never change. I'm glad I met you. 

Nezumi remembers Shion's smile. The gift of a memory.  

[dismissyourdoubt]

03/18/2017

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up. Seven Wonders by Fleetwood Mac, Self Control by Frank Ocean ft. Yung Lean and Austin Feinstein, UGH! by The 1975, Love Money Party by Miley Cyrus ft. Big Sean, Someone Like You by Adele, In My Eyes by Best Coast.

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Honestly I can’t deny my love for Anderson Cooper like hi daddy

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. “...time. I cover her up, then go to bed and dream.”

4) What do you think about most? Honestly, boys and work.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? It says: “wait the hoodie was more than that it was a different one i was looking at but still got it for $18 bc only 36”

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I sleep with underwear on, but that’s it.

7) What’s your strangest talent? Fucking things up and pushing people away, overthinking everything.

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence) Literally as if @ this question

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? Um yeah guys actually all of Frank Ocean’s love songs are about me because we’re in love soooooo

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? As if I know

11) Do you have any strange phobias? I have a pretty bad fear of ovens? Like I’m afraid that I’ll basically either fall in or be pushed in and then burn myself and die.

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? No but there’s a hilarious story about my dad sticking a pencil eraser up his nose in Catholic school and what happened when it got stuck up there...

13) What’s your religion? I don’t really follow any religion, I like certain aspects of Buddhism but I don’t know enough about it to actually consider myself a Buddhist. Sooo yeah I don’t know.

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking to/from the bus stop for work, because in the winter that’s really the only reason I leave the house, lmao.

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind it, usually... Although I film fake vlogs all the time because I think it’s so fun...

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Okay so like the way this question is phrased, I’m only considering bands, not solo artists. So... hmm... Daughter

17) What was the last lie you told? I told my dad I can’t go to a family dinner tomorrow because I have a test, he doesn’t know my driver’s license is suspended because of a speeding ticket and I don’t have it back yet...

18) Do you believe in karma? I mean, I like the idea of it. I don’t know if I necessarily believe that it actually happens.

19) What does your screen name mean? Song lyrics, from Broken by S. Carey.

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness is honestly my depression and the fact that I’m awful at taking care of myself; my greatest strengths are my work ethic and my intelligence.

21) Who is your celebrity crush? I mean if I had to pick just one I’d probably have to say Tom Daley... or Hunter Parrish?

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? I actually don’t think I have.

23) How do you vent your anger? By texting a friend or something like that. I normally don’t get “angry” though, more just annoyed or upset.

24) Do you have a collection of anything? I have a collection of antique keys, tapestries, glass pieces and other stoner shit.

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? I mean honestly neither like just text me honey, it’s much easier for me that way

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become? This is a good question. I look at who I was a little over a year ago, and I’ve definitely changed as a person, and the change has definitely been for the better. So, in that regard, I’m happy with the person I’ve become. At the same time, I do feel that I have such a long way to go. I want to start going back to the gym and make a lot of other changes in my life. But I’m definitely on an upward journey.

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Okay I’ll just say I love the sound of Kehlani’s voice because I’m listening to her right now... And I hate the sound of babies crying.

28) What’s your biggest “what if”? What if I can never have a successful relationship and I end up alone?

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I mean, honestly, I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t be that surprised if either of them existed. So I’ll just go with yes for both.

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. With my right arm, I touched the back of the couch I’m sitting on. With my left arm, I touched the wall right next to me. So exciting.

31) Smell the air. What do you smell? Oregano ;)

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to? Is college an answer to this question?

33) Choose: East Coast or West Coast? Definitely West Coast, even though I live in Pennsylvania, I’m dying to move to California...

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? This is a hard question because there are so many queens I’ve been idolizing lately... Tinashe, Kehlani, Jhené Aiko, Beyoncé, Zara Larsson, Ariana Grande, like damn they’re all hot as hell, you know?

35) To you, what is the meaning of life? As if this question isn’t gonna send me into an existential crisis.

36) Define: Art. Okay literally.

37) Do you believe in luck? I mean, yeah, I definitely think that at some points in your life you are “luckier” than you are at other points in your life. But, I think it’s entirely coincidental how much “luck” you have at any given point in time.

38) What’s the weather like right now? It’s not as cold as it’s been the past few weeks. I think it’s around 40, and it’s kind of windy/rainy, but not snowing (it was last night), so that’s good.

39) What time is it? 7:22 PM

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I drive. I’ve never been in an accident, although I did have a near-death experience driving on the parkway a few months back. It was raining and my tires started spinning out of control; I almost crashed off the side of the road and then my car swerved across both lanes of traffic and almost crashed into the middle barrier... Then somehow I regained control of the vehicle. Crazy shit. Not fun.

41) What was the last book you read? I literally don’t know. Maybe Perks of Being a Wallflower?

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? In a way, yes.

43) Do you have any nicknames? Nothing really other than Kev which is just short for Kevin.

44) What was the last movie you saw? Get Out. It was fucking wild. Especially because I went into it without having seen any trailers or anything like that... But I highly recommend.

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Ummm, I’ve never broken a bone or anything like that, so I’m honestly not sure lmfao

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? I haven’t and now I’m kind of sad that I haven’t. Like thanks for calling my attention to that.

47) Do you have any obsessions right now? Kehlani, I’m definitely obsessed with her right now, like without a doubt. Her and Tinashe but what else is new.

48) What’s your favorite music genre? R&B

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Of course.

50) Do you believe in magic? I mean, probably.

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? I try not to. I mean, when I cut someone out of my life, it’s (typically) pretty permanent. But I also understand that people change, so I’m not sitting around holding onto hatred for anyone.

52) What is your astrological sign? Capricorn

53) Do you save money or spend it? A combination of both. I make enough money that I can do that ;)

54) What’s the last thing you purchased? I spent like $400 on Amazon, oops. But that included nice chino pants, a ton of random drinks like Snapple and Diet Coke, a tiny golden statue of an elephant, you know, things I totally needed... I also bought a beginner’s dabbing kit which included a little wax container, a dabber, a carb cap, and a titanium nail, so yeah that’s cool.

55) Love or lust? This is a hard question. Like lust is so much better when it’s passionate and there are feelings (love) involved, and love can be so great but love also hurts like fuck. So I mean you know there are definitely pros and cons to both so I don’t know.

56) In a relationship? HAAAAAA AS IF

57) Are you a virgin? Nope.

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Nope, definitely can’t do that.

59) Where were you yesterday? Work, then home, which is literally how I spend 99% of my days, so no surprise there.

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? CYNTHIA IS PINK

61) Are you wearing socks right now? Nah son

62) What’s your favorite animal? The zebra. I just think they’re so beautiful and majestic and stuff.

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? I really don’t have one? I just act like myself and hope for the best?

64) Where is your best friend? She’s at a party with her boyfriend’s family.

66) What is your heritage? Like primarily Czechoslovakian on my dad’s side, I’m not too sure about my mom’s side, but you know I’m basically as white as they come.

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping. I’m an old man so I go to bed early now.

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name? This is the stupidest question ever and I’m also just noticing that question 69 is missing. And 65 was missing too. Probably others. Bish wut.

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yes, I’ll always listen if you need to talk about anything, I’m pretty chill and easy to get along with.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? I would stop to save the dog, then explain the story to my boss. If the boss wasn’t understanding about that and honestly wanted me to leave a dog there to die, that’s probably not someone I’d want to work for anyways.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a) Yes, I tell a select few. b) I travel, try different drugs, try to experience as much as possible in my last month. c) Obviously I would be afraid?

73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love. Love, trust is impossible for me anyways.

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Distraction by Kehlani, current obsession

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 8108

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? There are a lot of things that make up a great relationship, I’m certainly no relationship expert but I think some of the more important of those things are mutual trust, attraction, respect, and compatibility.

77) How can I win your heart? Consistent communication, paying attention to the little things, asking how I am, stuff like that.

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? Absolutely.

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Dropping out of traditional college and switching to an online university.

80) What size shoes do you where? YOU MEAN WEAR? 10.5 or 11.

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Ya know, my name, birthday, death date, maybe a cute little illustration, nothing too fancy, just the standard tombstone because I’m nothing too special.

82) What is your favorite word? I really don’t have an answer to this question...

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart. I thought of the song Black Heart by Carly Rae Jepsen.

84) What is a saying you say a lot? AS IF

85) What’s the last song you listened to? Currently listening to Nights by Frank Ocean my king.

86) Basic question: what’s your favorite color/colors? Growing up, green was always my favorite color, like olive green. But honestly now I’m more into the blues? And obviously black.

87) What is your current desktop picture? It’s like a scenic portrait of a mountain and a sunset.

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Donald Trump. Am I going to get arrested for typing that?

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Honestly ask me anything, I’m not afraid to tell the truth, haha.

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? I really wonder how stoned the person was who wrote this survey...

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Ability to read minds! Or invisibility. Yeah I’d actually probably like invisibility the best.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Can I just erase the entirety of 2015?

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? FRANK OCEAN

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Somewhere in California or Hawaii. Or maybe I should leave the country and go somewhere nice in Europe like Amsterdam.

96) Do you have any relatives in jail? No I don’t.

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? I never have.

98) Ever been on a plane? Yeah, like three or four times.