#i hate you smuckers

[that-jack-kline-bestie]

chopping up my jelly with a knife just so i can spread it properly

[indomitable-ace-of-hearts]

Today (Sept 10) is World Suicide Prevention Day.

And for those who may not know me too well, suicide and mental health are things I strongly support as an advocate....and, transparently, a survivor.

tl;dr: For those who are struggling. I see you. I feel you. I am you. Stay Alive.

Trigger Warning: Long post ahead talking about ideation and trauma (shared not out of sadness or shame, but healed reflection and awareness)

In latino culture, we are used to staying silent about our problems. To keep it in the family. To aguantar las penas. "Just pray."

But as I reflect today on my own experiences, there are things I've learned we should be unashamed about sharing and putting trust in others for. That there is nothing wrong with letting the pain flow outwards instead of inwards. That's because, even though it is scary and hard, doing so helps us feel less alone and more connected to each other.

We are all human, full of complex emotions, individual circumstances, and our own set of problems to figure out.

And for some of us...(and sometimes I think for a lot more of us than some care little to admit) We all have our own dark selves to fight against. For me, the truth is, I've always struggled with bouts of sadness and loneliness since early grade school.

As I look back, I know by the time I hit 5th grade I was already on a long winding journey with it’s own undesirable share of troubles.

Maybe it was because as a military brat I never knew what stability was.

Or growing up in a hispanic household I was taught to keep my feelings to myself and never learned how to properly express myself. Or my nervous system was already starting to get it's wires crossed.

All I know is by the time I was 11 or 12, I already felt like I didn't fit in anywhere... and very much alone. I didn't quite understand how the real world really worked.

Was bullied by classmates (especially the girls) for what I wore.

By then I started hanging out with the boys because it just felt more natural to me.

Even if I was not quite accepted until one of my friends vouched that I wasn't like the other girls and I was alright (because "girls day" and "boys day" on certain recess areas were still a thing and I was always on the boys side of the table where chocolate milk experiments in lunch trays were normal). I started hating the idea of being a girl. Because outside of one or two of my friends - Girls were mean, and liked girly things and always about dressing up a certain way (that I was not allowed to) and having their hair just so, wearing whatever smuckers lipgloss flavor was trending. I wasn't what one would call "pretty". No one ever called me pretty. And that was ok. I didn't think I needed to be so long as I could play with my friends in the T-shirts I snuck changed into on the bus on our way to school and a backwards hat to hide my hair.

Moving back to the states at 13 made it worse.

Being called a Nazi because I lived overseas in Germany. Alienated and ending up somehow eating lunch with the other "latino" kids who I couldn't quite connect with as a heritage speaker. Again made fun of for how I looked, this time by the boys. Missing my life overseas because Civie life and culture made no sense. But hey - at least my dad was now around more and he was the coolest dad ever.

Then came high school, where I auditioned to be accepted into their music and art programs. And with it a chance to start over again and hopefully for the better as music and art served as creative outlets that countered the spirals my mind would go through.

Talking to one of my longtime high school friends in recent years - they paint a completely different picture of me during that time than how I saw myself. It reminds me of how easy it is for people to hide pain and sadness behind a mask.

Whereas my friend shared how much they had (and still) admired me as a leader, and love my sense of humor - I only remember flailing and feeling like a wreck of a human. My jokes? I was just feeling like a fool That I was just a shadow with sketchbook, myspace, fantasy books, and writing journals being the only places I felt like I could pretend I was truly alive.

I remember breakdowns in the art room hiding under a table - and times my art teacher's let me stay in their office until I felt ok again. Art class became my safe space.

And I remember the first time I impulsively took a broken cd to my left wrist and carved out a dark three letter word.

The scar stayed for weeks, or months. I don't recall where I was when I did it. Probably in my room, hiding and in between aday-long reading binge. But I do recall the feeling like things were just too much. And afterwards - how no one ever really asked. No one checked on me. And even today I wonder if anyone actually noticed, but chose to ignore it or not ask. But the moment I did it I knew there was something wrong with how I was thinking and feeling. I wore long sleeve shirts, hid the scars behind a watch. Scratched off the scabs and eventually claimed it was a cooking burn. I was maybe...13 or 14?

But I started to fight against it. Alone because even back then...ending things something only cowards did. The stories I read said so.

Then came college. Another fresh start. And all the things that come with it.

The whole time, I found myself going through moments where I had to keep reminding myself of my dream of being a writer. I'd repeat what I told myself those final high school years. "If you left now, all your stories will go with you."

And as someone with a Creative Writing major - college was ALL about living, eating, breathing life into my stories.

It was in college that I began Taekwondo, and it fast became a physical outlet to the chaos in my head. Eventually becoming part of my survival toolkit, helping me persevere during the times I started to lose myself.

It's become a physical reminder that no matter how many set backs you can have in life - there is no one path to moving forward. Fast forward to today (literally), the martial art helps me stay grounded.

College was also the first place I went to therapy. The experiences I went through during my second and third year had been enough to bring more dangerous thoughts to the surface than broken cds - and I knew at that point I couldn't pull myself out of it alone.

I needed help. But still it was something I chose to keep to myself.

The sessions were short, but it was enough to help me start learning that it was ok to ask for help and lean on my close friends and family.

And accept when the closest of my friends literally pulled me out of my dark hole of silence and solitude. And dragged me out of the apartment or house with nothing more than a "get in the car, we're going somewhere". Because you all recognized before I did how truly dangerous it was to leave me alone.

Even if I did it with an attitude. And had no real energy or desire to think beyond just sleeping all day. Or would go hours with no will to cook or even eat.

Then came news of my cousin's decision to take his own life. The emotions that it brings up even now is just...indescribable because the reality was that in the back of my head, in between the shock, confusion, pain and feelings of loss, my thought turned to: "...that could be me my family would be getting news about the moment I stop fighting..."

To this day, that thought haunts me.

Because I know how exhausting it can be to constantly be in a mental fight to keep yourself alive. It's a thought that as I went through other traumas and experience I would hold on to. Because I personally know what it feels what it is like being on the receiving end. But the thing with depression, and sadness, and complex trauma. It still doesn't care that you logically know what it's like to be on the other side of that pain. When you are in those moments, logic is overridden and shut down. All you can do is react.

I started realizing that I needed to start fighting FOR myself when I was one month post-partum with Meri.

By then I was in a really dark place. I had no faith in myself after spending 4 years being told I wasn't enough through action and in actual words. Wasn't attractive enough. Wasn't taking care of things enough. Wasn't doing enough. 2+ years pushing through feeling degraded and stepped over at work with little to no support while being the shield to my small team. 1+ years taking care of a then 3 and a half year old and a puppy on my own while pregnant as my then husband left to work 7 hours away, 3 weeks at a time.

Trying hard to hold the house and family together only to get told while laying on the hospital hours after giving birth to my daughter that I was going to be laid off once I get off maternity leave.

Followed a month later after hoping to pick up conversations that were dropped while I was pregnant about working on our marriage in hopes he'd move back in - that I was mistaken...it was over and we needed to talk about custody schedule and divorce papers. Knowing the truth and reality - he was already with someone else -from the same place we worked at together. In that dark place, all I could think about was what I was taught about family growing up. That a real family has two married parents and that no matter what, you figured things out together. Maybe my two children were better of with their dad and this other person. So that they were a complete family. I had no job, and nothing to give them. I felt no happiness. No joy. Just pain. I remember thinking they were better off without me. And then I looked over at my daughter sleeping next to me in her bassinet. Me, a mess of quiet tears while she lay quiet and sleeping peacefully.

And the fighting instinct kicked in. A few weeks later, I started therapy again. This time for good. I ended up with a family-focused therapist who not only worked with helping me navigate life as a newly single mother of two, but would work with me for the next 5 years on becoming a good co-parent while helping navigate: - work trauma, - childhood trauma, - emotional abuse, - and only she currently knows the whole laundry list of "elses".

It is only in these past two years that I find myself understanding what it is like to be at peace with life - and almost close to what people describe is "happy."

A huge part of it, as my long-time therapist loves to remind me when I try to joke about things, stems from facing a collection of major traumatic experiences over the course of my life. And actively working on rewiring my brain, starting with the basics:

Did I eat?

Did I sleep?

Did I drink water?

I did blood tests to check in vitamin levels, and as I slowly checked off what I could control - worked with my therapist on making the decision to go on medication with the goal of using it to help me regulate just enough to keep handling the things I had no real control over.

I fought against voices of family members who spoke out against medication. Who claimed it was unnecessary and just a way for people to not put in the work.

I fought against the shame of it. And then, when it started to kick in, was able to learn for the first time what it felt like to be able to easily pull out of the low moments.

I finally knew what it felt like to have sadness be a passing breeze instead of an ice bath drop.

Now 6 years later, I am showered with love by my two children.

Who remind me every chance they get that they are happy to have me as their mother. My daughter admires me and calls me pretty. My son tells me how much he cares for me and my happiness. I have a job I truly enjoy. I have close friends to rely on and now know how to lean... and support in return. I have a strong sense of self worth. And when things fall out of my control, I am OK. And have been able to start over from zero several times and push even further each time with nothing more than my will to survive. It's a journey that took 30+ years. Which goes to show that there is no straight path or timeline to being ok. There were a lot of highs and low-lows. But each time the lows became easier and easier to recognize, understand, and manage. There were so many times in my life where I could have followed in my cousin's footsteps. As I noted before, I may not be in that story book bliss of happiness as the feeling is still something uncomfortable and strange after years of abuse, trauma, and neglect. But I am so glad I stayed alive to experience everything I am going through now and evolving into a self I am proud to call "Me". The darkness will always be there. But now it is just a shadow of a thing that I now have plenty of light in my life to shine on. Keep fighting FOR yourself and latch on the things that help you make it another day. There is light at the end, and sometimes you find you appreciate it's brightness that much more than others for having lived without it.

[strokes-of-everything]

Obsessed with people who even have the urge to anonymously be mean to others on the internet.

I’ve never once had the urge to send anon hate to someone. Even in my teen years.

Formspring/those anon ask websites also skeeved me out. I once considered asking my crush anonymously if he liked me, I think, but that’s it.

Like, what’s the point? You’re basically screaming into the void.

I’ve never seen someone say, “You know what, anon? I 100% agree with you. Thank you for pointing out that strawberry jam IS the best choice for a PB&J, and that I’ve been absolute trash for suggesting otherwise. I’ll be writing a lengthy essay singing your praises for making me see the error of my ways and petitioning Smuckers to put the Anon icon on all of their jars to memorialize this occasion.”

I just don’t get it.

[dweebalina]

sometimes i hate being a snob about everything lol like i wish I could just enjoy clothes from shein and room decor from walmart. but i know that im a snob because of capitalism and the fact that everything is poorly made with the cheapest materials

i wear cheap clothes and eat cheap food because im not rich but i just hate that it’s so expensive if you want anything of good quality whether it’s clothes or food or furniture

i enjoy things made well with functionality and longevity in mind. i like to know that a lot of love and care and concern for craftsmanship and quality went into a product. a strawberry jam handmade on a small farm is better than mass produced smuckers on shelf

i want soul in the jar! i want soul sewed into the seams! i want people that care about what they’re making

[meganwhalenturner]

Please never vote for any of these people again

Sorry, St Bluebell isn’t here today.  Besides how much I hate Hobby Lobby, the one potentially rage inducing issue I bring up on this site is voting.  After I have encouraged all of you to register and cast your votes, these people voted to nullify the election results in states where their candidate didn’t win.  They did so *after* the assault on the Capitol Building, after they had seen the consequences of their attempt to undermine the peaceful transfer of power in this country.

Every year our government becomes more powerful, gains more power over the daily lives of its citizens.  Its knows where you live, it knows who you talk to on the phone, it knows what library books you checked out, it knows what you had for breakfast.  The most important issue facing us today is whether we, the people, will ensure that we have a government we can trust before we lose all control of it.  Every single one of these people should be primaried by their own party and never allowed to hold any public office again.

Senate

Tommy Tuberville, Ala.

Rick Scott, Fla.

Roger Marshall, Kan.

John Kennedy, La.

Cindy Hyde-Smith, Miss.

Josh Hawley, Mo.

Ted Cruz, Texas

Cynthia Lummis, Wyo.

House

Robert B. Aderholt, Ala.

Mo Brooks, Ala.

Jerry Carl, Ala.

Barry Moore, Ala.

Gary Palmer, Ala.

Mike Rogers, Ala.

Andy Biggs, Ariz.

Paul Gosar, Ariz.

Debbie Lesko, Ariz.

David Schweikert, Ariz.

Rick Crawford, Ark.

Ken Calvert, Calif.

Mike Garcia, Calif.

Darrell Issa, Calif.

Doug LaMalfa, Calif.

Kevin McCarthy, Calif.

Devin Nunes, Calif.

Jay Obernolte, Calif.

Lauren Boebert, Colo.

Doug Lamborn, Colo.

Kat Cammack, Fla.

Mario Diaz-Balart, Fla.

Byron Donalds, Fla.

Neal Dunn, Fla.

Scott Franklin, Fla.

Matt Gaetz, Fla.

Carlos Gimenez, Fla.

Brian Mast, Fla.

Bill Posey, Fla.

John Rutherford, Fla.

Greg Steube, Fla.

Daniel Webster, Fla.

Rick Allen, Ga.

Earl L. "Buddy" Carter, Ga.

Andrew Clyde, Ga.

Marjorie Taylor Greene, Ga.

Jody Hice, Ga.

Barry Loudermilk, Ga.

Russ Fulcher, Idaho

Mike Bost, Ill.

Mary Miller, Ill.

Jim Baird, Ind.

Jim Banks, Ind.

Greg Pence, Ind.

Jackie Walorski, Ind.

Ron Estes, Kan.

Jacob LaTurner, Kan.

Tracey Mann, Kan.

Harold Rogers, Ky.

Garret Graves, La.

Clay Higgins, La.

Mike Johnson, La.

Steve Scalise, La.

Andy Harris, Md.

Jack Bergman, Mich.

Lisa McClain, Mich.

Tim Walberg, Mich.

Michelle Fischbach, Minn.

Jim Hagedorn, Minn.

Michael Guest, Miss.

Trent Kelly, Miss.

Steven Palazzo, Miss.

Sam Graves, Mo.

Vicky Hartzler, Mo.

Billy Long, Mo.

Blaine Luetkemeyer, Mo.

Jason Smith, Mo.

Matt Rosendale, Mont.

Dan Bishop, N.C.

Ted Budd, N.C.

Madison Cawthorn, N.C.

Virginia Foxx, N.C.

Richard Hudson, N.C.

Gregory F. Murphy, N.C.

David Rouzer, N.C.

Jeff Van Drew, N.J.

Yvette Herrell, N.M.

Chris Jacobs, N.Y.

Nicole Malliotakis, N.Y.

Elise M. Stefanik, N.Y.

Lee Zeldin, N.Y.

Adrian Smith, Neb.

Steve Chabot, Ohio

Warren Davidson, Ohio

Bob Gibbs, Ohio

Bill Johnson, Ohio

Jim Jordan, Ohio

Stephanie Bice, Okla.

Tom Cole, Okla.

Kevin Hern, Okla.

Frank Lucas, Okla.

Markwayne Mullin, Okla.

Cliff Bentz, Ore.

John Joyce, Pa.

Fred Keller, Pa.

Mike Kelly, Pa.

Daniel Meuser, Pa.

Scott Perry, Pa.

Guy Reschenthaler, Pa.

Lloyd Smucker, Pa.

Glenn Thompson, Pa.

Jeff Duncan, S.C.

Ralph Norman, S.C.

Tom Rice, S.C.

William Timmons, S.C.

Joe Wilson, S.C.

Tim Burchett, Tenn.

Scott DesJarlais, Tenn.

Chuck Fleischmann, Tenn.

Mark E. Green, Tenn.

Diana Harshbarger, Tenn.

David Kustoff, Tenn.

John Rose, Tenn.

Jodey Arrington, Texas

Brian Babin, Texas

Michael C. Burgess, Texas

John R. Carter, Texas

Michael Cloud, Texas

Pat Fallon, Texas

Louie Gohmert, Texas

Lance Gooden, Texas

Ronny Jackson, Texas

Troy Nehls, Texas

August Pfluger, Texas

Pete Sessions, Texas

Beth Van Duyne, Texas

Randy Weber, Texas

Roger Williams, Texas

Ron Wright, Texas

Burgess Owens, Utah

Chris Stewart, Utah

Ben Cline, Va.

Bob Good, Va.

Morgan Griffith, Va.

Robert J. Wittman, Va.

Carol Miller, W.Va.

Alexander X. Mooney, W.Va.

Scott Fitzgerald, Wis.

Tom Tiffany, Wis.

[littlemessyjessi]

Mick Mars (The Dirt) ABC Headcanons : Plus Size Reader

Mick Mars ABC Headcanons Mick Mars Imagine/Headcanons Mick Mars x Reader Plus Size Reader, PS Reader Motley Crue Headcanons, The Dirt Headcanons

--------------------------

A: Admire

You catch him admiring him you doing the most mundane things.  He just thinks you are unspeakably beautiful when doing the most simple things.

B: Beautiful

He calls you that more than anything else.  Babe, sweetheart.  Nothing compares to when says,   "You ready, Beautiful?"

C: Charming

There is such a quiet charm to Mick.  In the way he speaks.  The way he moved.  The way he brushes the tips of his fingers over the curve of your shoulder.

D: Dynamic

Ya'll have such a cool dynamic.   People change from day to day.  Everyone has mood swings but ya'll just fit with each other.  Even when ya'll on each other's nerves.

E: Energy

For all his quiet and brooding nature and the way he lurks in the shadows....he is dynamite on stage.  

The energy he radiates while doing what he loves is breathtaking.

F: Fearless

He does not give a FUCK.  He worries a lot about things but he doesn't hesitate to show you how much he loves you if he ever feels like you might be doubting it.   He'd never disrespect you but he won't hesitate to make it obvious.

G: Good

He is above all a good man.  A very good man and he'd do anything to make you happy and feel safe.

H: Hardworking

He is so hardworking.   In all aspects of his life.   And that very much includes his relationship with you.

I: Intelligence

He is one of the most intelligent creatures you've ever met.

J: Jelly

You picked on yourself one day talking about a 'jellyroll'.   He did not care for this too much and it let some interesting sex involving a jar of Smucker's jelly, lol

K: King

He has never felt more loved and respected by anyone.  You make him feel like a king.

L: Listen

He doesn't say much all the time but he always listens.

M: Milestones

Big, Little, Seemingly pointless.   He's got you.

N: "Normal"

Calls you out when you pretend to be 'normal'.  "I fell in love with you because you were weird and you weren't afraid to be.  Don't pretend to be someone else.  I don't know her."  

O: Offbeat

He reminds you just how much he loves your offbeat self.   Your flaws are his favorites.

P: Power

There is a quiet but powerful presence to him.  It's heavy but so comforting.

Q: Queen

He treats you like the royalty that you are.  You're his queen and he'll be damned if you forget it.

R: Respect

He would NEVER do anything that he felt disrespected you

S: Soft

He is incredibly gentle with you.  And it's precious.

T: Tequila

He never lets you get crazy but he'll never forget the night ya'll passed the tequila bottle back and forth between you.   It was wild but he wouldn't trade it for anything.

U: Unhappy

Always does his best to figure out what's wrong and help you to fix it.  He just wants you to be ok.  

V: Visits

Visits from you while he's touring are his everything.  It can change the worst of days into the best.

W: Watchdog

Watchdog, Mad-Dog, Beast.  All things he jokingly calls you when someone pisses you off.

X: X-Rays

The day he broke down his condition to you in depth and what it could possibly mean was the day you knew he loved you.  He was so scared of losing you and you just diminished all his fears by loving him unconditionally.

Y: Youth

This is not young love for him.  It's not puppy love.  It's not fresh and new and for him.  He's in it for the long haul.  He wants to live lifetimes with you.

Z: Zoo

He hates the zoo but he sucked it up because you said you wanted to go.  However, when he realized your reasons he laughed his ass off and was totally down.

You literally protested the zoo for keeping animals in cages and climbed on top of a huge concrete elephant to challenge the owners.

He fell in love with you all over again that day.

Heeeeeey, darlings! I hope you enjoyed these headcanons for Mick! Sending hugs!

Love, Kenny

@frankie2902

@pleasantdreamqueen   @becrazy–beyou

@littledeadrottinghood @blackirisposts

@therealmrshale @woodworthti666 @thegreatirene@fanfictionandjunk

@angelus320

@alanlizzingtonshore@buriednurbckyrd@disneymarina @tubbypeachwriting

@sullybot @georgiagrl1990 @whenallsaidanddone

@mischiefnevermanaged94 @inumorph

@congurl

@centerhabit

@bubblymusiclover13

@qtmeryr

@thisismysecrethappyplace

@tnupsweetpie

@alisoncdariel

@hannahloveslife

@wormyboi

@blackirisposts

@maggyme13

@amethyst09

@ibenkastberg

@fanfics1717 @mrscasnovak

@thickemadame @babygirl-barnes

@theladyofmasks @aengsty

@kalliravenne​

Love, Kenny

[meteor752]

[Modern sides, sitting in Janus' appartment]

Virgil: You guys it's a beautiful fresh fall day outside, let's do something.

Roman: Oh hey, do you guys wanna have a picnic?

Virgil: Oh yeah, I got some plastic cups and plates I could get.

Roman: Oh Yeah!

Logan: I have lemonade

Janus: I've got bread and such, we can make PB & J sandwiches

[Virgil and Logan leaves]

Roman, excitedly: Awesome! Yes! And I will bring my, winning personality. Okay.

Roman: Oooh, I'm so excited, I haven't been on a picnic since I can't even rememb-

Roman: W-what are you doing Jan?

Janus, who's spreading Peanutbutter and crofters on a piece of bread: Making PB & J sandwiches?

Roman: Uh, yeah but, uh, why are you putting the Jelly on top of the peanut butter on the same piece of bread?

Janus: Because that's how you do it?

Roman: Uh, no, it's not.

Roman: I watched top chef Jan, I know what I'm talking about

Roman: You need to use each piece of bread for each ingredient

Janus: I'm sorry, is my inferior way of spreading two ingredients on a sandwich going to ruin the most basic meal of all time?

Roman: So you admit your way is inferior?

Janus: This is stupid

Roman: You're right. That is stupid.

Janus, slamming the knife on the table: It's not [Strains a smile] inferior, okay?

Janus: This way you get the perfect proportion of Peanut butter to jelly

Virgil, once again entering with cups and plates: Hey guys, What's ah-

Virgil: [Gasps and drops the cups and plates]

Virgil: Jan, what are you doing to that sandwhich?

Roman: He's ruining it!

Janus: I'm perfecting it!

Virgil: No, No, No, you're doing it all wrong!

Roman: Thank you!

Virgil: You gotta put peanut butter, on both slices of bread, and put the Jelly in the middle!

Roman and Janus: What?!

Virgil: That way, the bread doesn't get all soaked up from the jelly!

Virgil with his demon voice: I hate Soggy bread!

Roman: Okay, but then you would taste nothing but Peanut butter! Have you seen top chef Virgil?! There is a delicate balance!

Janus: Which is why, you have to balance both ingredients on one piece of bread!

Logan, entering with lemonade and a basket: I got the lemon- Janus, why didn't you toast those sandwhiches first?

Janus, Virgil and Roman: OH!

Janus: Do you have a SOUL?!

Logan: I do have a BRAIN!

Janus: We are doing this my way!

Roman: Don't ruin this like you ruined Thanksgiving Jan!

Janus: Oh, you had to bring that up!

Virgil: GUYS! Every second we waste is another bite of purple bread!

Logan, pointing at Roman: He is right, okay! Who makes instant potatoes on the most important feast of the year?!

Janus: Have you MADE, real mashed Potatoes?!

Janus: I googled it! You have to peel 'em, boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew! I'm not Samwise flipping Gamgee!

Roman: That's why it's a feast on one day of the year!

[Screaming arguments I can't make out]

Orange side, entering: Hey, what are we yelling about?

Orange side, laughing a little: Guys, oh man, you guys are too much fun.

Orange Side: Um, I don't want to be that nosy neighbor or anything, but I couldn't help but overhear your conversation and I think, I can help.

Orange Side: [Pulls out a jar from behind his back] Have you ever heard of Smucker's Goober?

Orange Side: Yeah it's great because the peanut butter and the jelly are in the same container!

Roman: [Grabs the jar and smashes it on the ground]

Orange side: [Gasp] Oh, uh, don't worry about it, I have more at home-

Virgil, still demon voice: Get. Out.

Orange Side: Okay, do you want help-

Janus: [Hisses]

Orange side: [Backs away, slightly scared] Oh! I thought maybe-

Roman: [High pitch yells words at him I can't make out]

Orange Side: [Falls backwards and scrambles to get away, while Logan throws a butter knife at him]

[domesticangel]

I hate the Rich Country aesthetic wtf I will sling ur reclaimed barn wood dining table that seats 16 out into the back yard in front of you, god, and ALL your horses. if u never had to take fluoride tablets bc ur house had well water or eat SPECIFICALLY jiffy cornbread mashed up in milk in a plastic bowl u don’t know SHIT. if u don’t know what smuckers goober is I will PERSONALLY kill you

[ferallymine]

Worldbreaker Pt. 1

The rubble. The screams. The frantic hands digging through the mess above her buried broken lifeless body. The last stone moving away- seeing the white light shine onto her. A hand reaching out-

Mardea shot up, sweat covering her body. Reaching out to see the alarm clock, she had to bite down a yelp of pain.

“Not…again…” Her voice was tired and straining. Black Energy had marked her arms in the night, leaving burns on her skin and the sheets.

She stumbled into her bathroom, slamming the cold water handle on to fill the tub. Her feet sizzled on the chilled ivory tile, heat coming off her body in waves. She shouldn’t be this hot with just panties and a loose cotton tank top on, but this is one of many burdens of being Mardea Lin.

The water stung her tender burnt skin. Steam hissed from her body, distracting her from wanting to scream. Mardea hadn’t been severely burned by fire, but she imagined they were just as bad as her energy burns. Izzy’s the only one she ever felt the need to explain the difference to. His curiosity was always humorous to her.

The fact that the water was ice cold made the next part easier. Keeping thoughts in her mind to ground her to reality, Mardea submerged herself completely in the tub.

Green wisps flowed out from her palms. Interacting with the water, they went to work cooling her down and resolving her burns. A waterlogged scream escaped her throat, the sensory overload and pain being overwhelming. The burnt skin ripped itself off, attaching to the energy  swirling around it. New unblemished skin replaced it quickly- unnatural if one didn’t have a medic-related quirk.

It felt like hours, but Mardea was done in minutes. The water was grey and heavily clouded when she sat back up, now shivering from the cold. Her stomach churned, and without a moment to react, she vomited into the already dirty water.

“…fuck…” her voice was a quaky whisper. She couldn’t keep going on like this.

The push and pull of energy forces from within herself danced with the outside ones. It was as if something out there wanted her to lose control, wanted Code Black to become the new normal.

The water-vomit mixture spiraled down the drain. Mardea waited until the tub was empty before fighting for strength to rinse herself off with the shower.

Morning couldn’t come soon enough.

-----

“But consider the reverse!” Kaminari shoved a spoonful of cereal in his mouth, “If you had a human head and a bird body, all the villains would be too scared to fight and you could round ‘em up easy!”

“Easily,” Tokoyami corrected, pulling his hoodie as he stood up to leave, “And that is utterly ridiculous.”

Sero set his coffee down, “Does that mean if Hawks was reversed he’d have a bird body and human arms on his back?!”

“Holy. Shit. Dude.” Kaminari looked like he had an epiphany, “That would be…terrifying. I love it.”

Ashido slammed her hands flat on the table, “KIRI WOULD BE A ROCK THAT TURNS INTO A BALL OF FLESH!”

“Noooooo,” Kirishima groaned, leaning back with his hands on his face, “I was already a ball of flesh in the hero test! Unpleasant, 0 out of 10 do not recommend.”

Sero giggled, “Guys, guys listen… Bakugo… Is an explosion that throws out humans.”

An eruption of laughter consumed the living room of the dorms. The noise echoed into the hallway leading to the stairs.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Kirishima wiped a tear from his eye, “Does, ehehehe, does that mean that mean that he’s a continuous explosion or like, hah, one out of every 5 explosions is Bakugo randomly spurting out humans to attack villains.”

The laughter quieted, giving the group time to think, then Ashido spoke, “Can you imagine if the latter was true? Like, if you’re a villain using C4 to break into a bank then suddenly ‘I AM A VERY ANGRY EXPLOSION HAVE SOME HUMANS TO THE FACE!’ Bruh, I’d shit my pants.”

“What about the former?” A sudden appearance of Lin behind Kaminari made him jump and spill his cereal. “If he’s a continuous explosion he’d have to be put in a container to function as a ‘human’ in society. Imagine shoving Boom-boy into a reinforced Smucker’s jam jar.”

The laughter resumed. Kirishima looked up to ask Lin a question, “Hey, what if- wait. Lin you’re glowing.”

A brief panic, “Wh- no I’m not.” She looked herself over, “I’m not outputting any en-“

“No! Your skin is radiant,” A cheeky smile, “Did you do a new skincare routine from YouTube?”

A pause, “…Yes…that’s what I did.”

Ashido’s eyes sparkled, “DEAAAAAA you gotta show me!”

“Maybe later, after you bring your grade to a B.” She winked, “Anyway, I’m hungry, see ya later.” Lin meandered over to the kitchen, where Uraraka was making what smelled like waffles.

“… aaaand voila!” Uraraka flailed her arms in a dramatic manner, “A Together Breakfast!” The platter was filled with waffles topped with syrup, whipped cream, popcorn, and strawberries.

“Wow!” Midoriya’s stomach rumbled, “This looks great! Thank you!”

She giggled, “I made enough for everyone so dig in!” She gestured to those surrounding the counter. “Let our Saturday breakfast tradition begin!”

Lin leaned on Todoroki’s shoulder, the sudden contact startling him, “It’s just me, don’t worry.”

“Hello, love,” He tilted his head to lean on hers, “Sleepy?”

“Sore…”

“Training yesterday was that rough?”

“…Yes.” She straightened. Her silent body language purposely telling him that she didn’t wanna talk about it in front of the others. “My whole body feels vulnerable and tender. Like one touch will bruise for days.”

“Take it easy today, then,” He smiled, “Eat something to regain your strength.” A soft kiss to her head, reminding her that they can talk privately later.

“Hey Frick and Frack, save the PDA for when we’re not eating,” Bakugo sat on the counter, munching on toast with tomato and cheese slices on top. “You’re gonna make me puke.”

“Your taste in breakfast food will make me puke,” Midoriya stuck out his tongue.

“Says fucking you. Who eats shitty popcorn for breakfast?”

“It’s not popcorn, it’s pepcorn!” Uraraka tossed a kernel at the blonde, “Popcorn with a pep!”

Bakugo scowled, staring the group down. He swiped the kernel away from him, “You’re not original, this is all from YouTube.”

“Stop being such a fucking killjoy,” Jirou slammed her glass of juice down on the counter. “We get it, your aesthetic is to hate everything and think you’re the best. Don’t you get tired of having your head so far up your own ass? Huh?”

“I’m done,” Lin backed away and turned towards the hallway. “It’s too early for arguing.”

Yaoyorozu stood up, “Mardea, don’t go! We were gonna go out today! The Saturday Flea Market is up in the plaza across town!”

Fuck I forgot “Yeah, right…. Lemme put on proper ‘going out’ clothes.” A snap and she was gone in a green flash.

------

“Isn’t this fun! Nice to stretch our legs on a sunny day off.” Momo did a little spin, flowing out the bottom of her sunflower sundress.

Tsuyu joined the twirling, though her green romper left little to flow out. “Ribbit, it’s the perfect temperature today. I bet the pools will be packed.”

“Whaddaya think, ‘Dea?” Mina, clad in her pastel blue crop top and matching shorts, “Should we try swimming today or just mingle in the market?”

Mardea thought a moment, “Market wandering sounds good for now. Plus I didn’t bring a swimsuit- I doubt jean overalls would fair well in a pool.”

“Hmm, fair point.” Mina skipped ahead, stopping at a sunglasses stall. The sun reflected off them, making the products glitter and look more enticing.

Mardea glanced around the crowd. Mina was at that stall, whereas Tsuyu and Momo had been lost to the growing population of the market. The tips of her hair shifted to magenta. Her eyes scanned the scenery. Where were their energy signatures?

“Nice trick,” Mardea froze at the unfamiliar voice behind her, magenta instantly switching to lilac, “Color shifting is good for quick blending into crowds, though I feel that this little cosmetic show is a front for your quirk.”

It was a feminine sounding voice- maybe an older woman who smoked on occasion?

“I can feel your thoughts from back here, pumpkin.” A warm hand gripped her right shoulder, “You don’t have to turn around, I know who you are, Mardea. Don’t you think it’s strange that I snuck up on you with your magenta setting on?”

The lilac grew.

“You don’t need to be afraid. I want to help you. There’s a lot of energy in this world, you know. How would it be to not feel like it’ll crush you at any moment? What if you could control it? Not your definition of control- you still let that Code Black sit alone, festering. What if you could harness it?”

“Hey ‘Dea?” Mina’s voice called out, “We got lunch! Where ya at?”

“I will find you again,” The hand left, “Be wary, Mardea. You’re not the only one who knows energy.”

Momo came through the people, “Guys! She’s over here!” She turned, smiling, “Where have you- oh my god are you okay? You’re purple-y.”

Mardea looked up, eyes matching her hair, “We need to leave. Now.”

“Okay yeah. Yeah.” Momo took her twin’s hand, “You’re okay now. We’re here.” Mina and Tsuyu emerged, confused at the color shift. Momo pointed at them, “We’re leaving. Now. Back to UA.”

-----

“You’re sure it was a woman?” Aizawa sat across from Lin in his office.

Lin shrugged, “That what she sounded like. She snuck up on me, didn’t let me turn around.” She pulled her shirt collar over to expose her shoulder, “She bruised me when she grabbed me.”

Aizawa raised an eyebrow, “How did she do that?”

“I DON’T KNOW!” Lin’s stress boiled over, red and lilac strands forming in her hair, “I don’t know who she is all I know is I didn’t sense her and she said I wasn’t the only one who knew energy and that she’s gonna find me again and I don’t know how to not let that happen because if I cant find her then no one can find her probably like how-” A gasp of air, hair returning to normal, as Aizawa grabbed her shoulders, kneeling in front of her.

“You need to calm down.” His voice was calm. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not going to tell you to not worry, because I know you will anyway. All the teachers will be on the lookout for suspicious women around campus. I’ll let the Pro-Heroes know that this happened and see if they can snoop out anything. Okay?”

“Okay…” She leaned forward, hugging him with tears in her eyes, “Thank you…”

A smile, “It’s okay.”

[coulsart]

i just tasted the most disgusting jam in my life and i want to die

[artisticestheticreads]

CRYING OUT FOR ME

DISCLAIMER: This is an one shot of Erik Stevens and Black Reader. This contains angst, fluff and a little soft boy Erik. Enjoy. PLEASE LISTEN TO CRYING OUT FOR ME BY MARIO.

ERIK ‘KILLMONGER’ STEVENS X BLACK READER 

   It was 2007, Oakland, California and Erik ‘Killmonger’ Stevens was about twenty four years old. He had baby dreads that you had done for him since he practically begged you and it was time for his weekly twist and line up. You were the type of stylist that every one in the hood came to. You gave amateur prices but your work was at a professional level. You opened the door to see him in jeans, navy blue tee and some converse as you wore a green and black track jacket with skinny jeans and your house slippers with your hair in fed in French braids.

   “What up, E”, you said with a huge smile. He picked you up and gave you a big hug. “What up, baby girl? You ready to bless my shit?” You tussled his hair and said “shiiiit, ima need more than hair gel and oils for your ol’ peanut head. Lemme get my holy water.” You walked off like you were serious but he pulled you back by your belt loop as he sat on your nice maroon couch. You stood behind him by your end table with his back to the arm rest. He turned on the TV to see that Love Jones was playing.

   “Aye, Y/N. This yo shit”, he said with a straight face. You smiled as you started. He was telling you about his “appointment” with from Ashley down the street. “She do got a fat ass. Especially when she got those sundresses on”, you said imagining her round ATL peach bottom at attention. Even though, you had a whole boyfriend and you were no where near gay, you still checked females out..especially with Erik. Erik chuckled at your remark and said “hell yeah. But, of course, you know I had to wrap my shit up because she get tossed around more than Mac and cheese on Christmas Day and I like my dick as it is, ya feel me? But yeah, so I’m tryna clap the fuck outta her cheeks but she running and shit so I held her ass down. Yooooo, but Y/N this chick got the ugliest fucking moan. She sound like one of them white hoes in porn and shit. My shit got mad soft, yo. No lie.” You laughed with your head back with a snort that your man hated but Erik loved.

   “Damn, I can’t breath. Thanks for the laugh, E. I honestly needed that it.” He looked to you with stitched brows and asked “what’s poppin’, princess?” You saw his eyes as said “it’s Bryan. We got in a huge argument again.” You were finishing up the last dread and his line up. Erik rolled his eyes in annoyance with the petty arguments with your “man”. You went to wash your hands as he put on his du rag and made himself more comfortable. “What his bitch ass crying about now, girl?” You plopped down on the couch with two bottle Arizona watermelon drinks, with chips and subs you made for y’all. “Man, get this. This nigga over here complaining about you and shit.” Y’all sipped y’all drinks at the same time without knowing and placed them on your coffee table with a quiet burp from both.“The fuck is my name in his mouth for, Y/N?!? He betta check his self before I break his fucking neck.” You giggled and added “he tryna put shit in my head.”

“Like what?”

    Y’all bit into your sandwiches and you said “he tryna tell me you was checking me out when was all together for the game.” You grabbed the remote and switched the channel to ESPN to see the highlights. Erik stopped from biting into his sub and looked at you. “Why he say that?” You leaned back with your arms on the back of the couch and said “something about you looking at me like you tried to fuck or something when we was all hugged up apparently.” You laughed and then he thought to him self.

   He was sitting on the couch of your boyfriend’s house with you and all y’all guys friends watching the cowboys game. You wore a baby blue body suit with the ice Jordans and he wore a matching shirt with tan cargo shorts and his matching Jordans y’all got together on Black Friday. The Cowboys were about to make a touch down as y’all stood up, cheering. When they did, you all hopped up with joy and you jumped in E’s arms. He pressed y’all chests together as you wrapped your arms around his neck and legs around his waist. You held him tight then you landed on your feet to chest bump him and do y’all handshake; Bryan watched from the kitchen. When you all calmed down, you sat next to each other with his arm around your neck and your head on his shoulder as y’all high fived.

   After that, you noticed the pitcher of beer half empty and also the bowl of tortilla chips and guacamole. “Oh shit, we out”, you said as you looked to the table then the TV as there was a commercial going on. You smiled to Bryan and kissed his cheek before getting up gathering everything to fill up. You straightened out your body suit as you stood straight. You side walk passed Erik and he watched you with loving eyes. He grabbed your wrist and asked “can you get me a sprite from the fridge, little momma?” You smiled and said “of course, boo daddy.” You and your friends all laughed, except for Bryan, who didn’t get the inside joke. But that’s a story for another day. You kissed his forehead and he used the palm of his left hand to touch the small of your back; Bryan wasn’t very fond of that affection between you two.

  Erik looked at you with your eyes on the TV and watched as you got up to take y’all plates in the kitchen to wash. “Can you believe that shit, E? Bryan tripping, right?” You was met with silence but when you turned around he was standing right behind you, extremely close. “Why you want this punk ass nigga anyways, Y/N? You not happy wit him so why not try us out?” He held you close by the hips as his dark brown eyes softened. “Erik, what are you talking about?”

   “Lemme take you away from him, come on. You not dumb so why be with him, huh?” You looked away from him and as he tried to caress your cheek, you smacked at his hand and walked away. “Erik, where the fuck is this coming?” He walked behind you on your heels and pulled on the loop of your pants. “Y/N, why you with him, hm? He accuses you of cheating all the time when you are the most faithful personI know. He probably fucking some other bitch while you here wit me” he said. You looked up at him with your brows stitched together and arms folded. “Erik, I love him, aight? He was my first everything.” He stepped back and said “not your first everything... remember? When we were middle school and we played truth or dare with DJ and nem. He dared us to kiss. I remember what you wore and everything. You had on the peach Baby Phat crop top with those flared jeans and some Keds. You had your hair in those cornrows with your baby hairs on point because if they weren’t you would spend hours until they were. When we kissed, your lips tasted like Cherry smucker chapstick and they were so soft. I bet they still are. I still can’t get over those lips” as he grazed the bottom one with his right thumb. You were in a daze to the point you never noticed he got closer, inches away from your lips. You pushed him and spat “E, we only kissed because it was a fucking dare. YOU really think I would have done that if it wasn’t ?!?!?!?!? AND BESIDES YOU FUCK OTHER BITCHES ON THE SIDE SO HOW I KNOW YOU GONNA BE FAITHFUL, HUH?!?!”

   “BRYAN CAN’T LOVE YOU LIKE I DO, Y/N!!!!! YOU KNOW THAT SHIT, GIRL!!! HE TREAT YOU LIKE YOU ARE SHIT! WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT?!?!?! DAMN I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMARTER THAN THIS!!!!” He yelled as he was in your face, nostrils flared and everything. You felt a tear run down your cheek but turned fast enough to wipe it off as you went to open the door looking at him. “I think you should leave, Erik”. He looked at you, at the ground then slowly lifted his head up to see you with folded arms. He walked up to you but you looked away trying your hardest to not look into those beautiful eyes. He stood in the doorway and wiped your cheek saying “Y/N, I can’t stand seeing you unhappy with a no shit ass nigga so we might always not be friends anymore. I’m sorry, baby girl but I can’t stand to see my girl being played like that.” When you looked up to him, he kissed your forehead and left. You stood speechless as you closed the door. You had tears down your face.

   A week had passed and you were at Bryan’s, watching TV for Movie Night. You wore a black tee that smelt like Erik just to remember him by along with some booty shorts he bought you when you were at Venice Beach. Bryan held you close and kissed your cheek, asking “everything okay?” You nodded and remained silent until you both heard Mario’s Crying Out For Me coming from outside. “Who is that blasting that music” Bryan asked. You ignored it until you heard “Y/N Y/L/N.” You stood with an arched brow and opened the door to see Erik leaning on his car that had that song on full blast. He wore an all black sweat suit you bought him. “BABY GIRL, come on. Listen to your heart. It’s crying out for me, Y/N. Please, princess. I know I ain’t got the money like he do. I live check to check but I can give you so much more. I wanna give you the world. I swear you aren’t just another notch in my belt. You are my everything. I can’t see myself with anyone but you, Y/N. Please give me a chance and I’ll show you, I’m not some fuck nigga like Bryan. I am in love with you, Y/N. I always been. Let a real nigga have you. I wanna make you happy, baby please. Lemme save you”, he said with tears coming down as he walked slowly to the locked gate.

      Bryan stood beside you trying to hold your hand but you looked at his hand in yours and yanked it away with your eyes still on Erik. “E” you yelled as you walked away from Bryan, towards him and he said “wassup” with that damn smirk you loved so much. You ran to the gate, opening it and jumping in his arms with your lips making love to one another. He held you so tight you two could’ve been conjoined twins. “Damn, softer than I remembered. I wonder what else is softer”, he said with a squeeze of your behind making you laugh and snort in shock. “Better than Ashley’s” you asked and he said “girl, waaaay better.” He lifted you up with your legs around his waist, hand full of your behind and tongue in your mouth. “Aye, Y/N...what about me” Bryan said and like clockwork without separating, you both lifted a hand up and flicked him off. When he slammed the door, you both laughed and he said “I love you, princess.” You tussled his locks and said “I love you more, my prince.”

𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟠

    “And that is how mommy and daddy got together”,

you said as you sat between the twin sized beds of your own set of five year old twin prince and princess.

“And what happened next, momma”, 

Erik the Second asked. You looked to his beautiful almond skin, dark eyes and a cut like his father’s but his dreads were really long.

“Well, my prince. Daddy was so in love with momma that he soon proposed like months later”.

Nyla smiled big with cocoa brown skin and said

“really?”

You nodded and said

“yeah. I was and will always be a queen.”

You heard

“mommy made daddy get on a knee and propose. The king didn’t have a choice as usual.”

You looked to Erik who long dreads were braided back and wore a pair of silk pajama pants with a white v-neck showing his scars. You tucked your twists behind your ears and said

“negro, don’t lie to my babies.”

   “Man, Y/N. Look, kids. If the Queen ain’t happy, then nobody can be.” You nodded and said “true. Daddy knows better.” Nyla looked at her baba holding her stuffed black panther with a gold chain close and asked “do you love momma, baba?” He walked in with folded arms, sat on your prince’s bed and looked to you as he said “more than anything and anyone in this world.” You smiled and looked at Nyla with a wink when you sat on her bed. Soon, the kids, fell sound asleep as you two stood, tucking them in and showering their little faces with kisses. You and Erik held each other’s hands as y’all walked to your shared bedroom. “So, did the king make the queen happy today”, he asked with his arm around your shoulder. You looked up to him and said “eh, could have been better.”

   “Oh yeah?” He stood in front of you and looked up and down at the outfit that matched with his but you had on silk shorts instead. You poked his chest and said “yeah.” You smiled big biting into your lip and in one swift motion, he picked you up and put you on his big, broad shoulder. “E, you betta not drop me.” He smacked your butt and said “Y/N, I ain’t no weak nigga but this pull out game is about to be hella weak because how you lookin’ in these shorts...sheesh. I hope the kids ready for another brother or sister.” You both laughed, you with a snort of course, as he took y’all to your master bedroom and closed the door that read:

“𝕬𝖑𝖑 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖑 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕼𝖚𝖊𝖊𝖓”.

@muse-of-mbaku @im5ftbutmythroat66 @chaneajoyyy @melanin-samii@theunsweetenedtruth @doux-ciel @unicornluvin8765 @vikkidc @wakandantings @thadelightfulone @mzamethystp @simbiann @tropicalsun10 @babydoll756 @notoriouslynay @vminax @quinsly @pinkdemolition @quietstorm-73 @chaoticcashfancroissant @bugngiz @chocolatedippedinhoney @yafavcocoa @lostgalaxies

[catetistrash-blog]

Incorrect Incorrect Sanders Sides Quotes

@thatsthat24

A friend and I (he is a great voice actor and was acting them out) were making these up today and wanted to share them with you.They are random things your sides would never say.

Logan: Crofter's is atrocious. We should put it all in a hole, and bury it. I prefer Smuckers. =========================

Remus: Life is nothing but fluff and rainbows.

=========================

Virgil: Living with the Light Sides is horrible, I wish I could just go back to Remus and Deceit.

========================

Patton: Sometimes, Remus can be so positive and happy. You just have to listen to him and do as he says.

========================

Virgil: Deceit is a totally trustworthy side, and I would do anything for him.

========================

Roman: I fucking hate Disney

=========================

[acne-agony]

Day 3 - 114 lbs.

11 am: I wake up with an appetite. I'm so scared of this feeling. Of feeling hungry. I am going to the cinema with my brother, and it's very likely that he will want to get lunch before. The battle began behind my eyelids, before they were even open, when I was still in bed, half-unconscious. Shit. Shit. Shit. I take my vitamins, then step on the scale. I know I said I'd weigh myself every three days, but I can't help it. 115. Fuck. This number haunts me as I get ready. 

12 pm: My brother, his wife and I go to lunch before the film. They ask what I want to order, I say, I’ll eat off your plate and grab a diet Pepsi from the fridge. My mouth is watering when the food comes. Poutine. I’ve only had it once, and in Seattle. The smell is so enticing. My brother asks if I want to try it. “Maybe when it cools down,” I smile, and take a sip from my Diet Pepsi. My sister-in-law asks if I want to try hers next. I shake my head. “Maybe when it cools down,” Just the smell of it makes me feel full inside. They finish their plates and throw them away. I take a breath. Phew. I got through it. I take another sip of my Diet Pepsi and walk into the cinema. 

3:30 pm: We arrive home. There are potato chips and a Smucker’s Uncrustable sitting on the table. Something inside me catches, and gurgles, and I am unwrapping the Uncrustable before I can even think about it. I savor each bite, and chew slowly to relish in the taste of the soft bread. I look at the Nutritional Contents, then inwardly panic. 210 Calories?! Fuck. 

5 pm: I clean my room, and the next time I look at the clock I am both surprised and relieved. More hours have slipped beside me and I haven’t eaten anything more. Still, those triple digits. They pop back up in my mind to taunt me. Over and over and over. I can almost hear someone saying it in the back of my mind. 210. 210. 210. 210. I do 40 sit-ups and bike for 20 minutes. The guilt recedes to some extent, then flattens when I step on the scale. 114. 

6 pm: I panic when I hear my mother mention dinner. She wants to go out with the family at our favorite Italian restaurant. My favorite restaurant, specifically. My mind swarms with food. The bread and butter. The salad. The delicious pastas. I begin thinking of excuses not to go. I’m not feeling well. Head hurts too badly. I’ll stay home. Rest. You go. Eat well. I am grateful, and a little disappointed when she settles for Taco’s at a nearby Mexican Restaurant. The good part being I won’t miss out on my favorite meal. The bad part, they’re coming home to eat it. I quickly make some green tea and prepare myself for their return. 

7 pm: They return with their food, and offer me a taco with beans and rice. I say no and quickly disappear into my bedroom, where I draw to pass the time. My mom comes in a short while later with a bowl of rice and taco. Because I have my headphones on, and because I am facing away from the door, I dont see her enter and just as I catch a glimpse, I startle and knock the bowl, spilling beans and rice bits and tortilla all over the floor. I am so relieved that there is not food waiting for me that I begin laughing. 

8 pm: Dad buys powdered donuts from the market. Mom offers me one and, with great strength, say no. I have taught myself to get used to automatically responding with a no anytime anything is offered. That way, I dont have time to mull it over. I spit it out, then the decision is done for. 

9 pm: Mom makes me a bowl of warm ramen. She notices I haven’t been eating and reckons its because of my chronic stomach issues. I tell her that yes, I am having a flare-up. It is mildly true. She asks me to stay and eat it while we watch television. There is no escaping. I take one bite, then another, and before I know it, the bowl is empty. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I hate this feeling of full. Of satisfied. The headache was just starting. The faintness is gone. I feel energized, and I loathe every minute of it. I’m fearful of stepping on the scale, so I tell myself I will check my weight in three days.

10 pm: Still panicking from the food I so blatantly consumed, I run to the bathroom and swallow two more laxatives. I hope these kick in quickly. 

[peaches--n-scream]

ok i was actually so excited because @senberet tagged me in this post and it took me literally 3 days to like actually do it but it was so cool because i love their account and i was stoked i am stoked anyway

Relationship status: in a thing with a boooyyyyyy Chapstick or lipstick: Chapstick bitch it makes ya lips all soft and shiny and nice smelling and u can apply it coNSTANTLY Favourite color: Yellow and like lavender? like soft purple? Last song I listened to: SMUCKERS FT LIL WAYNE AND KANYE (ok listen y’all i know everyone hates Kanye and I hate him as a person bUT I LIKE HIS MUSIC AIGHT??) Last movie I watched: SING with my little cousins. It wasn’t bad actually and JENNIFER HUDSON WAS IN IT and Tori Kelly has got some pipes Top 3 TV shows: Ok so I just started watching Sleepy Hollow and my little historical nerd heart was just screaming and ALSO IN SEASON 2 Ichabod gets a goddamn cold and Abby is just so cute and sweet and takes cARE OF HIM and it’s literally the best sick episode™ ohmygod. He’s just a sexy british man with the long hair and the beard and that damn accent  (I hated him for like the whole first half of the first season because of what he said to Abby in the first episode and I was nOT having it but he grew on me, unfortunately. He learned from his mistakes, but I wish Abby had smacked the ever living daylight out of that boy in the first episode omg) There’s history, supernatural stuff, and a strong black female protagonist and I love it.  I like Brooklyn 99, and YOU GUYS there’s this kid show called Just Add Magic about these 3 little girls who find a magic cookbook and it’s for 13 year olds but it is literally so cute and well done and I love it. Top 3 bands/artists: I’m a biiiiig RnB fan, so I love Alicia Keys, and Marvin Gaye, but I also really like Tyler the creator (SMUCKERS) and Childish Gambino, and YBN Namir. I PROMISE IM NOT JUST INTO RAP AND RNB I also really like alternative pop and rock. And also show tunes. and some country which my friends always give me so much shit for lol. I just like everything ok

I’d love to hear from @strange-capers @sicklylittlesnowflake @corporalviolet and @poorsickies if y’all feel like it! <3

[cowboyarc]

tagged by @lostnoise​ ty!!

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black pens, because in english they always asked us to use blue. and english was awful for me so no blue :p

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? city, i lived in the bumheck middle of nowhere for 18 years and hated it.

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? oooh, i really want to get better at the guitar, or learn to sword fight.

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Yes, but very very little.

5. what was your favorite book as a child? I dont remember having a favorite book? but my dad had this whole story written out and he’d use that to tell me bedtime stories. it was so cool.

6. do you prefer baths or showers? Showers, i am get anxious in baths? i feel weird just sitting there.

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? d-r-a-g-o-n-s. in my dads stories that i mentioned above? there was an elf that was a half-ling and could turn into a dragon.

8. paper or electronic books? I dont read much? but definitely paper.

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? a ramones t-shirt my dad bought me on a business trip once. (its the rocket to russia album)

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? I friggin hate my name, i wanna change it so bad but i dont know to what.

11. who is a mentor to you? i um.. dont have one?

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? I don’t know if I want to be famous, i’m very private person, but i guess if i had to maybe like a jenna/julien type of deal? like his aries kitchen series.

13. are you a restless sleeper? Very Much Yesss, I’m move so much.

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? no... i’ve never had the opportunity to be?

15. which element best represents you? I’d say fire. maybe?

16. who do you want to be closer to? probably a couple of people? i dont talk to many people? but physically? my best friend i miss her a lot.

17. do you miss someone at the moment? my best friend, audi and alex and thier dogs, and my pops.

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. a lot of my childhood wasn’t the greatest? so i dont remember a lot of it? but i guess the bedtime stories my dad would tell

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? fried kool-aid with powdered sugar from the south carolina state fair.

20. what are you most thankful for? um.. being able to have a place to sleep/and food?

21. do you like spicy food? ohhhhh yes, its all i grew up on. audi’s ma is chinese and she cooked the best food all the time. and gave me sooo much.

22. have you ever met someone famous? Not that i remember

23. do you keep a diary or journal? i’ve tried several times, but i stop pretty fast, because i have nothing to say or the way i write starts to piss me off.

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? Mechanical pencils

25. what is your star sign? Aries babbey.

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy? um... i know that maybe the crunch would be hard on some peeps teeth, but not in my house.(crunchy)

27. what would you want your legacy to be? i dont tend to think that far ahead.

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? i wish i did? its really hard for me to find a book that will hold my attention, and audio books are not a fun time for me because some sounds/voices i cant handle like that.

29. how do you show someone you love them? im definitely more of physical/small gestures kinda person. i’ll buy/make them little gifts, or offer cuddles (if they’re cool with touch) that type of stuff

30. do you like ice in your drinks? very little if at all, i only drink water, hot tea/coffee, and i dont like iced tea/coffee at all so.

31. what are you afraid of? um... nothing really that i can think of

32. what is your favorite scent? im very sensitive to smells, but i really like this sandlewood body wash i have.

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? soooo... i grew up in the south-south. so it was always yes ma’am, no sir, mr. smith, ms. jones. like even if someone was like call me betty or whatever it was weird to do that. but i’m slowly getting away from that since i moved away.

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d really like to help people, not sure in what capacity but yeah.

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? i did grow up about 40 mins from the ocean and would go there all the time. the water was gross and i wish the waves had been better, i’ve always wanted to surf proper. so ocean i guess.

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? probably see if someone comes back for it? prob give it toward food or something for someone

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? okay so audi’s house was prefect for star gazing and we’d do it all the time and we saw a couple over the years, and got torn up by misquitos.

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? dont want kids, but i’ll prob be a godparent eventually so just to be happy and comfortable with themselves.

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I have several but the next one I want to get the doom symbol with my pop’s birthday (probably in roman numeral cause that look best) and whenever he passes his death date. a little morbid but ive always wanted that cause its his fav game.

40. what can you hear now? animal crossing, netflix (hannibal) and my smuckers pb&j wrapper lol (strawberry ofc)

41. where do you feel the safest? uh... my room sometimes?

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? a lot i dont wanna talk about.

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? the 70s/80s to go to some concerts i guess

44. what is your most used emoji? im on pc so i have no clue, but the shaka sign 

45. describe yourself using one word. sarcastic

46. what do you regret the most? there was a girl and we didnt have a lot of time together because i was leaving and i hurt her i think, i apologized later but that doesnt make it okay so yeah i hope shes doing okay.

47. last movie you saw? I watched the new animated Scoob! movie. i loved itt, scooby doo is my shit always.

tagging: i dont know i dont wanna bother folks, if you see this and it catches your fancy :)

[momentsinsong]

Moments In Song No. 017 - Bria

“Moments In Song” asks people one simple question, “What are you listening to?” We believe that you can learn a lot about an individual and their experiences based off of the music they love. For every installment we ask someone to make a playlist of 10 songs they’re listening to, whether it be something new they stumbled upon, or a song they’ve always loved, and explain the story behind their choices. The person’s playlist is then uploaded, giving them the chance to share it with others. Each post aims to profile someone from a different walk of life, whether they be an artist, a student, the mailman, a school teacher, an athlete, a nurse, your next-door neighbor, anyone with a love for music; showing that no matter where we come from, what we do, or what we look like, music has the ability to bring us together.

Half turn up. Half mellow. Bria’s playlist is a collection of songs that document her day to day emotions and influence her style. We talk to the make-up artist and fashion entrepreneur about how N.E.R.D introduced her to new genres of music, her online clothing store, and the struggles of finding that perfect song for your MySpace page.

Listen to Bria’s playlist on Apple Music and Spotify.

Words by Julian.

Photos by Tayo.

What was the thought process that went behind making your playlist?

I think for my playlist I was figuring out what artists I really love at this point in time, and finding the best song from them. I really like a mellow hype turn up. I picked songs that made me feel chill, but also get me a little turnt up. Songs to get you a little cute, you know [Laughs.]

When you were making your playlist what song did you know instantly had to be on there?

Doja Cat, “No Police.” I just love that song. If I could put my style of music into one song, that would probably be it. It’s that mellow turn up I was talking about. It’s real chill, but it’s also a little psychedelic at the same time.

I basically made my playlist based off of how my day goes. It starts off mellow, and then I feel a little cocky in the middle of the day. Then sometimes I’ll be feeling like shit, but then motivated afterwards. I based it around those feelings for sure.

Can you pick what songs fit the moods you just listed? You know starting out mellow, and so on after then?

I actually like to play all of my playlists on shuffle, because I feel like that matches my mood. It always bounces around. I feel like that’s an emo thing for me [Laughs.]  I would definitely say “Drowsy” by Banes World is the most emotional song on there. It sounds sad, but I love it. It’s super moody. And then that made me go into “Biscuit Town” by King Krule. I love “Biscuit Town,” because I feel like it was the most upbeat song for him, in his own way. He make’s a lot of mellow stuff. And from there it went into Tame Impala, “New Person, Same Old Mistakes.” Then Doja Cat, that’s kind of my get up in the morning, get out of my grogginess and start my day song. Then that goes into “Better” by Kelela and “Ride” by Steve Lacy. Then I start feeling a little G [Laughs], and that’s where the Tyler, Clipse, and Kendrick come into play.

How would you describe your taste in music?

I think I said it earlier, I love a mellow turn up. That’s why I always put my playlist on shuffle, because it can go from rap, to Banes World, and then to Kendrick the next second, to Kodak, and then back to Pink Floyd. That’s just what I really like, a mellow turn up. I think that’s the best way to describe it.

When you listen to music is it more lyric based or instrumental based? Or does it vary?

It varies. I think it depends on what kind of artist I’m listening to. But I would definitely say I go off of beats first. If it sounds good to my ear, I’ll probably end up liking the song, and I’ll probably end up hating the lyrics. But I’ll just block it out [Laughs.]

When you first start listening to music you listen to what’s on the radio, and what kids in school are listening to, but then as you grow older you start to develop your own preferences and taste. How would you say those have evolved over time, and if there was one particular song, artist, or album that started that for you?

For me, I would definitely have to say it was N.E.R.D. in high school. That started my “music journey.” I used to love this other group called The Bird and The Bee. That got my ear open to more psychedelic, eerie type of music. That got me listening to more rock, like Gun N Roses, and I’ve always listened to Hip-Hop, but I would definitely say N.E.R.D. jumped it off. I don’t think my taste in music changed over time, but now I know what I like, and what type of sound I like.    

What N.E.R.D. album was that?

What’s the album with, [sings] “All the girls standing in the line for the bathroom?”

Seeing Sounds

That’s the one. That’s the song that really started it for me.  I was like, “Oh this is tough.” They got Hip-Hop, they got drums, they got Rock. It was a clash and I thought it was so dope. And I knew that if people like him are doing it, there are definitely others making music like this.

Does music play a role in your creativity fashion wise?

For sure. I’m actually starting a brand called 7th  and I use music to give me inspiration and motivation, because living in Baltimore people aren’t as open minded to people who don’t dress like them and music inspires me to continue to dress like me regardless of my location.

Could you tell people what your business is?

Well it’s called 7th and doesn’t launch until 7-7-2018, but it’s a brand for the laid back woman who dresses for comfort but is very stylish doing so. I’ll be selling 7th clothing as well as clothing from indie designers and wholesale clothing. But back to the music, it influences my style daily, I could play a song and get inspired to style a piece of clothing a certain way. One of my favorite things to do is play music and figure out an outfit to wear somewhere. It’s very euphoric for me and that’s why I chose to add a playlist to the site. I want women to feel the same way while shopping on the site. Bring back that MySpace feel [Laughs.]

I took that MySpace song seriously.

For real!

I would be searching all over to find the song I wanted.

Yeah and then you’d be mad when someone got your song. You’d be like, “I don’t even want this shit anymore” [Laughs.]

Can you pick one song on your playlist and give us the story behind why it’s on there?

I’m gonna go with Tyler, the Creator, “Smuckers.” I feel like that song should have got more publicity than it did. That song was kind of legendary. I mean he had Kanye West and Lil’ Wayne on a song with him. He had Lil’ Wayne rapping how he used to. He was so witty. He said, “I'm starin' at a tramp-on-lean, make my eye jump.” That was so sick! He was so smooth with it. And then you had goofy Tyler coming in, so that helped keep it light. You even had Kanye really rapping on there. It was just cool seeing these two different rap worlds coming together. You had your artsy side of rap and then your hood rap, come together on a cool beat. It all worked out really well and they all had their own different look.

Connect with Bria:

https://www.instagram.com/robin.bri/

https://www.instagram.com/7.seventh/

Connect with Moments In Song:

https://www.instagram.com/momentsinsong/

https://twitter.com/moments_in_song

https://tinyurl.com/MISAppleMusic 

https://tinyurl.com/MISSpotify