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#i have a feeling this might make people mad at me but im right and i just wanted to type it out
infizero · 1 year
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listen i was guilty of this once upon a time too but dawg ppl GOTTA stop calling any platonic dynamic they like “siblings” without any precedence 
#there are many characters where there is good right to call them siblings. but ppl have gotten so trigger happy w it#and like theres nothing wrong with viewing a dynamic that way ig but at the same time it makes ppl who may ship those characters really#uncomfortable. bcuz although there is nothing to suggest that those characters view each other in that way by calling them siblings#instantly you've made it weird for anyone who might interpret the dynamic differently#idk this is very nuanced but it just irked me a little bit#absolutely nothing against the person in the tags of my art btw power to you#but. as someone who ships pearl and scar a little it was a bit uncomfortable to see them be called siblings#i dont like ppl making ANY of the hermits siblings. like grian and pearl are a common one i see and i just. i dont get it i truly dont#none of their dynamics read like that to me. idk. again ppl have their own interpretations of things and they didnt mean any harm by it#it just made me feel a little weird#and this is a problem or well. trend ive seen in all fandoms recently#please. people are allowed to be friends and have close friendships and not have a familial element involved#esp with a girl and a boy THEY CAN JUST BE FRIENDS! YOU CAN HAVE THEM BE TOTALLY PLATONIC WITHOUT CALLING THEM SIBLINGS#whatever whatever idrc. just something ive noticed i know other ppl have talked about this before#again this is not a callout or anything im genuinely not mad or weirded out or anything please dont think i am#serena.txt
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dancing-with-stars · 4 months
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guys. guys !!!!
#vanu is rambling#ok idk this is gonna b a happy post but i think there are lots of people who love me in this world. or at least enjoy my presence.#like i always always always ALWAYS doubt if my friends or family like me and in my head they all secretly hate me#but like for these past couple months things have been different.#i don’t feel so left out (like i usually do in groups) or alone.#like my friends genuinely want me there like they always ask me to go places with them. and i almost always say no because im so busy or#i just cant but they still ask me everytime. yesterday the whole group was calling and playing a game and i got a bunch of texts like hey#where are you u shud join the call it’s rly fun ! but i just couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone at that moment.#today they were rly happy when i joined the call and idk it made me feel like. oh. maybe my friends do like me#and also i have two moods: i’m either super talkative or i go into my little shell and don’t say anything/add to a convo. and like during#those moments they’ll be like hey u ok? or they’ll just listen to me talk about ceramics and how fun it is or how much i hate eating pears#and like. we laugh so much together. like i have so much fun with all of them i love every single one of them omg#and scary thing is we might not even be friends after we start college. but yk what? that’s okay i don’t wanna think about that.#because like who cares? i’m not gonna let my fears ab the future ruin my friendships. i’ll always love them anyways. and we’ll always call.#i’m glad i met them. they’re all such beautiful and funny and amazing strong willed-people. they are my friends.#it’s just so crazy to me that they willingly want to spend time w me and are sad when i can’t. and they’re so understanding at the same time#they don’t get mad about it. and like they have mad eng last year in high school so much more enjoyable.#someone told me that this is ur last year do things so when you look back you don’t regret anything- so you can be proud of what you did#and my friends helped me with that. and like i still feel lonely the majority of the class because despite this there’s like a permanent#stain of sadness right there at the bottom of my heart. but they make the hard days more manageable.#like i’ve been on call with these people until ungodly hours at night just laughing and i go to sleep feeling a bit lighter.#they introduced me to the tech side of theater which i never thought i’d get into but here i am. they teach me silly facts and words in asl.#they taught me dances- knowing full well i SUCK at it- because we all had fun with it. theyve taught me it’s OKAY to be vulnerable in#friendships and that sometimes being open/yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do for your own soul and others. they’re cool#people really. really cool people
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hearties-circus · 7 months
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I've been having a very strange predicament recently and I think. I think this might entirely kill any hope I had at learning any emotional regulation skills
#gamer txt.#cause cause like. im only confident (and sober) when im anger right so i neber ever stand up for myself and tell the truth otherwise#and yknow. generally this makes me pretty sad#being a people pleaser out of fear especially one too depressed to Actually people please atm is uh. hard to say the least#cause i just do nothing and either hope no one cares or tgat im sufficiently pathetic ebough that theyll back off if they get mad#and neither of those options have been going well for ne currently. so theconstant fear level is increaased#but. but but but if i get angry if someone pisses me off enough i get my confidence#i stop letting ppl walk all over me i stand up for myself i say aaaaaall the things ive veen holding back for so long#and it feels. so. good.#it feels amazing! its a delightful feeling finally being able to snap at everyone its great#but uh. now ive started getting really happy when i get angry even when im not doing anything cathartic#the anger by itself with no actions feels fantastic#and well like there is a reason i tend to try not to get angry#i can get. unnecessary and im too much of a grudge holder and a hardass to apologise after#but when its actual proper rage coupled with a childlike glee? thats. a bit worrying#im already always seconds away from assaulting people even when im normal#if im angry + joyous thats really concerning. like 'i might actually physically really hurt a person' concerning#and ive kind of pavlovd myself into getting happy when im mad! so. its a bit of an issue#but at the same time. there is. admittedly a very large part of me that likes that soooo much#and i keep having to be like a real honest to g-d physical aggravated assault or potentially worse is not a good thing#oh. oh but dont i deserve it? do i not deserve to beat the people i hate to near death? i think i deserve it#so you see the issue!!!!! what the fuck am i meant to do here!!!!!!#i cant trust myself not to hurt people when im angry but im only happy nowadays when im angry#and i Really dont want to continue being miserable
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snekdood · 1 year
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Ppl gotta understand that just bc you do x thing because you're mentally ill, doesnt mean your actions dont have the same effect if you weren't. Like if you've been manipulative to your friends, you cant get mad at them for not sympathizing entirely with you when you go on about how they dont accept you for your mentally ilness. Regardless of your reason, you were still manipualtive, you fucked with peoples trust. Theyre still gonna have trust issues about you even if its bc of whatever mental illness you have.
#im not saying its cool for them to abandon you but cmon. you have to consider sometimes other people and what they can handle#bc if you keep manipulating your friends or whatever theyre gonna get used to being manipulated and expect it from other people#whatever the case. people have limits. your friends have limits. im not saying theyre always justified. im not saying your friends are#never abliest. but they do have limits. and if you're yelling at them all the time about being perfect or whatever you cant exactly#be surprised when they dip out.#like for example. im a p aggressive and angry guy. clearly. if youve seen any of my posts.#ive always got something to rant about. and while im not quite as much like this irl its still a thing about me. im very very vocal about#whatever injustice i percieve happening to me or others lol. but i can understand why me being intense and angry and ready to throw hands#at the drop of a hat would make some people want to avoid me. i understand it makes some ppl feel scared and unsafe.#its not something i try to do. i dont try to make ppl i like feel unsafe. i try not to be that way around ppl w those kinds of issues#but im not gonna throw a fit and be like 'you guys are okay with bpd until i get really really angry and call you a cunt'#like... uh... yeah. i dont blame ppl like that for dropping me entirely if im getting angry all the time around them and it triggers them#and i dont seem to stop or be able to stop.#sure its not great. sure i dont want to be as aggressive and angry around anyone let alone ppl afraid of that sorta thing. but this is#the current state of my being. its something im working on. and i can understand why some ppl cant handle me right now as i am.#idk. just. shit like that man#another example. im hella hella HELLA bad at communicating via technology. unless you're in front of my face my mind just forgets we were#even talking sometimes. this naturally will cause issues. how am i gonna get upset at someone for being mad i stoped responding#in the middle of a conversation? sure i didnt mean it. this is purely unintentional. however that doesnt change the fact of my actions.#it doesnt change the fact that that person might feel unwanted. i can apologize day and night but until i actually try to be more attentive#of my phone this is just gonna keep happening yknow. how is it fair to get mad at other ppl for getting mad at you over that?
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our-lady-of-mcr · 2 months
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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
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lunataurora · 7 months
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kinda funny seeing that last queued tf post with me gushing in the tags abt the comic bc i havent felt joy or even an emotional connection reading mtmte for a while
#idk man something just aint right. whether im just getting hit with another depressive episode or. idk.#the writing just feels... different. it feels weirdly cartoony? even though. the beginning was also really cartoony? but this feels worse#i liked the beginning so much more i liked the characters that cared so little about each other and the overall oppressive mood#idk part of it is i really dont like typical western superhero comic tropes and writing styles at aalllllllll#i cant stand the lack of foreshadowing and 'well just believe that it was secretly always like this' and the superpowers and trying to#raise the stakes by just Saying 'you might die' but its ok nobody does nor does the concern cross your mind#and i cant tell if the jokes are worse or more frequent but certain characters dont even seem like themselves anymore to me#the last thing i enjoyed was around when rewind killed a man. everything since has felt like some marvel movie type writing and it hurts#what happened to nuance and reading between the lines my good friends nuance and reading between the lines#'the one with sunder was good its a really good horror' <- why did you lie to me. are you mad at me#it wasnt even fun..... wasnt even interesting......#isnt this supposed to be a story abt attempting to adjust to postwar life and how fucked everything is. and how no#-thing is morally cut between good/evil? theres nuance? theres depth? whered all that depth go? maybe i imagined it this whole time#like.even the thing with skids gave me less of an impact when its surrounded by such. cheezyness. it deserves more consideration? respect?#good god its a very direct depiction of a very real horror dealt to rEAL PEOPLE#AND ITS CORRELATED WITH 'OTHERS RECEIVE SUPERPOWERS FROM THIS REVELATION' FUCK YOU#i feel bad for that plotline existing in that fucking situation jesus fucking christ you can't just do something like that#like. just. 'trauma gives you superpowers and also your suffering makes others stronger' how abt i go drink bleach.#maybe someone else will have a GREAT time if i do. <- kidding but like. christ man what the fuck#does this have to do with his whole 'i shouldnt have done red alert like that' idk what to tell you boss but that was nowhere near as bad#as the skids superpower giving scene.#red alert was fine it made sense it was severely relatable. it happens. but skids? no that fucking doesnt. what is that even trying to mean#beyond yknow. what guilt does to people. and cementing the worst of the war that um. isnt going to feel much justice at all it seems#sorry im in a very. tear everything apart kind of mood#dummy posts
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siriuslynephilim · 10 months
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.
#my dad is so fucking#frustrating i fucking hate him so much#why can't he just stick to one thing? if you've decided to be an asshole then be a goddamn asshole#why these random bursts of affection and caring I HATE IT it hurts me more than you scolding me#because your love is so fucking conditional and fickle and i never know what to do to keep receiving it#and it makes me question everything about myself my thoughts my relationships whether if im actually ever right when im mad at people#it makes me think oh maybe it was me i understoof them wrong i can never fuckinh trust my judgement#like feeling unloved is all MY fault i am the one who can never get enough#i still don't know if that's true#broken three different relationships and I still don't know this about myself everytime i was like i don't feel like you love me and they#were like what no ofcourse i do but if you can't see it then fine fuck off i give up#he said he is concerned about my weight because he's scared i might get some diseases like thyroid (bc mum has it) or pcod or something???#like dude why tf did u not just say that pehle 😭😭😭😭 i spent like 5 days feeling miserable not eating properly because i thought you#hated my appearance all my fragile self esteem it's all broken now i can't eat dinner without thinking about you saying don't you dare have#dinner if you feel hungry just drink water#and the worst part is i can't even skip dinner because it gives me a horrible headache the next morning and then i can't study and work#which btw YOU can absolutely not tolerate i gave up on being happy for your dreams im just trying to make you proud and happiness feels#like a far fetched dream now but i keep going everyday because im so close to the finish line and maybe if i do this you would finally be#happy with me love me#i told him that my first loan file got sanctioned today and he was so fucking happy so proud so soft like eat the dragonfruit i brought for#you okay it's so tasty and take care of yourself celebrate this little win you've worked hard#like just. please. don't confuse me you saying shit like this made me sob so much harder than all your angry words
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jiminsafairy · 1 month
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the thrill of the show - jungkook (cam couple +18)
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pairings :bf!jungkook x gf!reader
summary: your boyfriend Jungkook comes up with the idea of starting your own cam channel with the excuse of making some extra cash
warnings: live sex (cam couple), tities, a lot of titties! unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, guys), bj, doggy style, he cums in her tits, they are so in love
wc:2k
a/n: this is my first fic, it took me a while to muster up the courage to post anything here... also english is not my first languaje so excuse my mistakes, be nice!!
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"You want us to do what!?" you say, almost choking on your coffee.
"I said, ‘why don't we start a sex cam channel’?" repeats Jungkook on a Thursday morning, while both of you are having breakfast before leaving to the gym.
“Have you gone mad!?” you say.
"Come on, babe, it'll be fun! we get to do what we love and gain a bit of extra money from it. I know how bad you wanna change our couch" your boyfriend says, pointing at the old beat out red couch.
You nod. He was right. You have been dreaming about changing that hideous piece of furniture since you moved to the apartment a year ago. That thing was uncomfortable as hell. Always ended up with sore knees after being fucked on it.
"I give you one chance, one, you hear me?" you state, putting one finger up, "and if I'm somewhat uncomfortable with the whole thing, we immediately cut".
"I wouldn't do it other way, love" coos your boyfriend, giving you a quick peck, "I'm gonna go sign up on the site and set my camera" says disappearing through the kitchen door.
That is how you ended up in this situation, lying in bed with your boyfriend, only wearing a black lace set of lingerie.
"Baby, don't you think you went a bit overboard buying all of… this?" you say pointing at the two — very expensive looking, one might say —softboxes directed at you both, and the 27”-inch new monitor displaying your almost naked image.
"Not at all love, we need to have the best equipment in order to succeed" says Jungkook with a grin, "shall we begin?" he says signaling to the 'start live' button. “You do the honors, babe”.
You reach for the laptop and click on the button, "Here goes nothing" you say, going back to bed.
"And now we wait for people to join us" says Jungkook, placing his hands behind his head and leaning against the pillow "oh look! we have our first viewers!” says excited, “We are Jungkook and y/n, this is our first time doing this so please be good to us".
[imyourdaddy94]: why are they just layin in bed? booooriiingggggggg, imma get out here if you don't start doin something
[punish__me]: you look cute, but I won't subscribe if all you do plan to do is just cuddling
[sugar.tits88]: hey guys, you know this is supposed to be a live sex channel, right...? im leaving
"No, no, guys!" says Jungkook sounding alarmed, "we are fun, please, stay!" he turns to you, placing one hand on your neck and other one on the small of your back, "let's show them how fun we can be".
He starts kissing you, and you reciprocate. You were feeling shy at first, but as the kiss progressed, you started to get more onto the idea of being watched by strangers on the internet.
Your right hands grasps the back of his neck pushing him closer to you. Jungkook breaks the kiss, looking at the chat again, and smiles to you.
[imyourdaddy94]: show us her tits!
"They want to see your tits, should we show them?" says Jungkook placing one hand on the small of your back and going upwards. You nod, giving him permission.
Jungkook unclasps your bra, helping you sliding it down your arms, showing everyone your large, round breasts. He starts planting small kisses on your neck, going all the way down, grabbing your big breasts with his hands, massaging them.
"Can I?" says Jungkook with his lips close to your nipple, ,"would you let me suck your pretty tits?, he asks. The feeling of his warm breath hitting your sensitive flesh is driving you crazy
“Just do it already Jungkook!" you whimper, raising your voice. You need his mouth on your nipple.
[sugar_tits88]: uh, she's feisty...i like her
You hear the sound of the tips filling the room. You are getting that couch. Your boyfriend chuckles at your tone, lips closing around your left nipple, while pinching the other one. "Oh God Jungkook, don't stop!" you moan.
"My girl loves having her pretty titties sucked, right?" he says, while he keeps sucking at your breasts, switching between nipples. Mouth on one nipple, tattoed hand pinching the other. you let out a needy moan, enjoying the feeling.
Your hand travels south, palming his length from the outside of his black Calvin's.
"I wanna suck your cock" you say panting.
"You want to stuff your pretty mouth with my cock? Is that what you want?" he asks, already knowing the anser.
"Yes, please!", you plead.
"Alright then. Could you take my cock out for me, love?" he asks, going back to taking your nipple in his mouth.
You take his cock out and start stroking it, from the base to the tip. "Mmm...so big..." you say, loving the feeling of your boyfriend's big cock in your hand.
 [punishme__]: look at that thing!! its fucking huge!! subscribing
Jungkook releases your nipple with a loud pop, giving your tits one last squeeze. He proceeds to lay on the bed, stroking his cock at a steady pace, tattoed hand going up and down his shaft.
"What my baby wants my baby gets” Jungkook says with a chuckle, "come here", says palming the space next to him. "I don't wanna brag guys, but her cock-sucking skills are amazing" he chuckles.
Strangers watching you getting your tits sucked made you so horny that you want to give them your best performance. Getting on your knees, you grab his cock by the base, and start pressing small kisses at the tip.
Feeling his cock twitch, you start giving long licks up and down his shaft. You hear him whine, and you wrap your lips around the tip, licking all the pre cum. Jungkook moans, reaching for your nipples and pitching them, “that’s it babe, keep going, wanna fuck that pretty mouth of yours”.
You take his whole length on your mouth, trying to avoid the gag reflex. Jungkook starts bucking up his hips, fucking your mouth, “look at you, taking all this cock in your pretty little mouth. Bet you love having people looking at you while you suck me”.
You moan, nodding, mouth full of cock. “Fuck love, if you keep going at it like that I’m gonna cum in your mouth, and I want to fuck you first” he phants. “On your hands and knees babe, facing the camera, let them see those big tits bounce” Jungkook demands, and you obey.
Getting on all fours, you place yourself facing the camera, watching the lewd image that the both of you portray through the monitor. Jungkook gets behind you, reaching for the hem of your lace panties.
He bends down and start giving small kisses at your back, while tugging at your underwear. Panties off, he kneads your ass checks, “Ready babe?” he asks giving your ass a loud smack. His hand gets to your pussy, placing one finger inside your needy hole “you are so wet y/n, it is all for me? Or is it because people are watching you?” he says, adding another digit.
“All for you, it’s all for you", you state.
"Liar" he says, taking his fingers out of your pussy and licking them clean. “You taste so good baby”.
[badgirlie444]: eat her out!!!
“They want me to eat you out…but I think we’ll leave that out for another time” he says. Grabbing his cock by the base, he gets closer to you.
“Please Kook, want your big cock inside me” you plead, “want you to fuck me numb”. He starts rubbing it up and down your needy slit.
“Like I said before, what my pretty girlfriend wants, she gets” he says entering your pussy with one hard thrust. You moan at the feeling, big cock filling your needy hole.
“God, you are so tight” he moans between thrusts, “such a tight pussy, taking this big cock so well”.
Moans mixed with the sound of the tips coming nonstop fill the room. Your sweaty bodies making the lewdest sounds.
“Harder, please, want you to fuck me harder” you plead, tits bouncing, pussy clenching around his big cock “I want to feel your cock as deep and hard as you can, I need you close”. He starts thrusting harder, cock hitting near your cervix. “That is how you like it mm? such a dirty girl”, he says, giving your ass another slap. You moan in response, just enjoying the feeling of his cock pounding into you.
[cckaddicted]: look at those tits bounce!!! I love you guys
Jungkook grabs your tits on his hands and motions you to get back on your knees and lay against him. Hands pinching your nipples while keeps thrusting inside your needy pussy. “C’mon baby, moan for them, let them know who’s making you feel this good” he coos at your ear. You moan loudly, lost in pleasure.
His right hand leaves your nipple and reaches for your clit, rubbing it slowly. You cannot stand it anymore, you need to cum, “I’m close baby, please make me cum” you implore, hips bucking against his.
He starts rubbing your clit harder, applying more pressure on the sensitive bud, “my dirty girl wants to cum, mmh?” he surprises you with a hard slap to your needy pussy, that sending you over the edge.
“I-I’m cumming Kook, p-please don’t stop, please!” you cry, cumming on his cock while he keeps up with his thrusts. “That’s it love, cum, I got you,"he coos "you feel so good clenching around my cock” whispers your boyfriend next to your ear, as he keeps stroking your clit, helping you ride your high.
Once you get back to reality, you feel his thrusts getting sloppier, and you know he’s getting close to cumming, needy hands grabbing onto your flesh.
Left hand still pinching your nipple, he places two tattoed fingers inside your mouth, and you suck them as if it was his cock. “Baby I’m close, you feel so good, I’m gonna cum, god, I’m so close” he says between moans. “Where do you want me?” he asks you, feeling his release getting closer and closer.
“Tits” you answer.
He takes his cock out your pussy and gets up to stand next to the bed’s edge, and you feel your pussy clench at the feeling. You already miss him, wishing he could be inside you forever.
You, who are still on your knees, crawl on the bed, putting your tits at the same height as his cock. “That’s it, love, press them together for me, would you do that?” he asks, hand stroking up and down his shaft, putting more pressure on the tip.
You press your tits together, looking at him in the eye. God, he’s so handsome. And all yours.
“I’m so close baby,” he whines as he fastens his pace. You kneel a bit, getting close to hiim, and put your tongue out, licking the tip.
That sends him over the edge “I’m cumming, give me your tits”. After a few more strokes you feel the warm spurts of cum landing on your tits, ”I’m cumming so hard”. He keeps stoking his cock, getting all the cum out. He slaps his cock against your tits, smearing all the cum, and you get your tongue out to clean him up.
“That was…something” he says between pants. You laugh as you get up, giving him a passionate kiss. Your cum covered tits press against his chest.
Once you are a bit more relaxed, you decide to look at the chat. Jungkook reads a few of them out loud, happy with the aftermath of your little show.
[cckaddicted]: that was so hot! you have one new subscriber
[gddgirl4]: I hope you guys don’t mind I got my vibrator out for this I came so hard
"Thank you so much monsterdick74 for the tip! Thank you all”, he replies to a few more comments, making small talk. He tells the chat that this was not a one-time thing, and that you are planning on doing more live streams more often.
“Same time tomorrow? What do you guys think?” he asks the chat. Everyone is excited, and the subscriber count keeps going up. “That was all for today guys, see you!” pressing on the ‘end of live’ button, you see the chat disappearing, going back to being only you two.
“Well, I guess we’ll have to do this again tomorrow, right babe?” you say, filled with excitement.
“I gues we finaly getting that couch” he says, laughing.
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mr-ribbit · 4 months
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gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.
i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.
to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community
to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.
so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue
"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"
I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.
"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"
I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.
there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?
there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic
also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.
"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"
they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?
also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????
and another thing:
it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?
focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.
especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.
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awearywritersworld · 7 months
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she mumbled that i was peculiar
sukuna x reader summary: impressively, sukuna is still trying to find ways to deny his feelings for you. nevertheless, he keeps you safe from harm when a late night trip to the store doesn't go as planned. will seeing his violent nature for yourself change the way you feel about him? he seems to think so. w/c: 4.2k (oops) tags/warnings: angst to fluff. attempted kidnapping. canon typical violence. depictions of blood. reader throws up. reader is in shock for a bit. cursing. aged up!yuuji. not canon compliant. fem!reader. no use of y/n. *please mind the warnings for this chapter* a/n: i'm sorry this took so long! im ngl, i struggled quite a bit to write this chapter. i'm still unsure about the pacing, but here it is anyway. thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy! series masterlist // masterlist
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it's not often that you go out for the evening, but tonight is one such occasion. you leave around seven, excited to meet nobara and maki for dinner.
when yuuji falls asleep a few hours later, sukuna doesn't take over right away. he spends a while in his domain, engaging in what some people might call sulking.
before long, however, he begins to feel restless and he tells himself it's because he's grown accustomed to his finite hours of freedom. of course, it has nothing to do with your absence.
so he assumes control of his vessel's body and pulls a short novel from your bookshelf. settling on the couch, his fingertips brush over the cover: the stranger by albert camus
it's the first time he's ever been alone in your apartment, a fact he's well aware of, and his eyes wander to the front door. it'd be all too easy to pull it open, to make his way downstairs and out onto the street.
how long would it last before yuuji regained control? are you nearby? would you get caught up in the havoc he'd doubtlessly wreak?
the thought makes him grimace. returning his focus to the book in his hands, time seems to pass by faster as he makes his way through the pages.
even so, he deems the narrative a bit boring. in his (what's the opposite of humble?) opinion, dead mothers and nagging girlfriends don't make for the most captivating story, so his mind begins to wander once he happens upon the quote:
"so why marry me, then?" she said. i explained to her that it didn't really matter and that if she wanted to, we could get married. besides, she was the one who was doing the asking and all i was saying was yes. then she pointed out that marriage was a serious thing. i said, "no." she stopped talking for a minute and looked at me without saying anything. then she spoke. she just wanted to know if i would have accepted the same proposal from another woman, with whom I was involved in the same way. i said, "sure." then she said she wondered if she loved me, and there was no way i could know about that. after another moment's silence, she mumbled that i was peculiar, that that was probably why she loved me but that one day i might disgust her for the same reason.
sukuna thinks about you— the woman who forced her way into his solitude.
although, what if it hadn't been you? what if the brat had been involved with another woman? would he have eventually taken an interest in her too?
are you really that special, or is he just going crazy inside the cage that is itadori yuuji? the latter is much more likely, right?
he supposes he prefers the idea of madness over... feelings for some human.
all of a sudden, your apartment door seems much more inviting. would it be so bad if he were to step through it? what did he really have to lose?
yeah, that's right. he'll get up any second now and act on every horrible impulse he's been repressing. any second now... any second...
he can't quite figure out why he's unable to bring his limbs to move, weighed down by some force that's beyond him.
it's at that moment the door clicks open and for a split second, he thinks it must be his sign to go, but then you come waltzing in.
"'kuna!" you greet in an excited manner, disrupting the peaceful quiet.
kicking off your shoes haphazardly, you make your way over to him and promptly drop yourself into his lap. it elicits a bout of unwelcome clarity for the king of curses.
no, he wouldn't have taken an interest in just anyone, that much becomes obvious. it wasn't through a medium as flawed as chance that he came to... tolerate you. you're much too annoying for that to be the case.
"hello???" you wave your hand in front of his face. "i'm home."
"i can see that."
"welcome home, darling," you say in a deep voice, a poor imitation of him. "i missed you so much— that's what you're supposed to say."
yeah, definitely too annoying.
"but i didn't miss you." one of his hands comes to rest on your thigh, a betrayal of his preceding assertion.
"you're sitting alone reading—" you pause to inspect the book lying open beside him. "existential fiction about a nihilistic frenchman. of course you missed me."
he changes the topic rather swiftly. "you're drunk."
"i'm tipsy, at best." you roll your eyes. "can't i just be happy to see you?"
"you'd be the first."
"i don't mind making history."
you place a kiss on his lips, casual and affectionate in way that makes sukuna's body stiffen, and stand up.
"i need to get ready for bed, then we're gonna watch tv together because i missed you— gosh, see how easy that was?"
you run off to the bathroom and his body doesn't fully relax until he hears the shower turn on.
the thought of missing someone is a strange notion to him, because it implies eagerness and desire. for as long as he cares to remember, those emotions have been reserved for proclivities much more sinister.
so he hadn't missed you. he just would have preferred it if you stayed home. that's all.
when you return to the living room around fifteen minutes later, you're wearing one of yuuji's shirts, and as far as sukuna can tell, very little otherwise.
making yourself comfortable on the floor between his legs, you pass a hair tie behind you. "can you braid my hair?"
he's watched you get ready for bed enough times that he's fairly certain he can manage it. taking the tie from you, he still asks "why can't you do it?"
"because i'm sleepy," you frown, reaching for the tv remote.
gathering your hair in his hands and carefully dividing it into sections, he sighs. "you require so much looking after."
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"you're not going to die if you can't have cookies tonight." sukuna states dryly, glancing at the clock that reads eleven o'clock.
"please don't trivialize my struggle," you begin, pulling on your jacket. "i want miso butter cookies— my grandma's secret recipe."
most of what you need can be found in the kitchen, but a trip to the store is in order for a few final ingredients.
"my mistake," he huffs, rising to his feet. "how insensitive of me."
"oh, it's alright. just don't let it happen again."
"sure. i'll keep that in mind, princess." sliding the apartment door's chain lock off the track, he does little to hide the vexation in his tone.
just as he reaches for the handle, you stop him and wrap a scarf around his neck, forcing a hoodie into his hands. "put this on. you'll be cold."
he looks at you as if you're crazy. "i don't have to worry about things as insignificant as the weather."
"well, put it on anyway," you insist.
he decides that acquiescing will be easier than arguing for the next five minutes and slips the hoodie over head. when you both step out into the chilly air of night, there are still a decent number of people traveling the streets.
stopping at a crosswalk the next block over, you begin to prattle on about what you need to pick up and the different steps in your recipe. naturally, you completely miss it when the pedestrian sign turns green.
"come on," sukuna commands, his hand wrapping around your wrist and tugging you along with him. "i don't have all night."
you scoff. "to be fair, i didn't say you had to come with me."
"yeah well it's late. you shouldn't be out alone." there's a hint of exasperation in his voice, like he truly had no choice in the matter.
despite that, once you reach the other side of the street, his fingers slide down your palm and thread through yours.
you glance over at him and find he's looking off to the side, so you bite your lip to suppress your pleased smile. is he avoiding your gaze intentionally? you decide that bashfulness suits him better than you would have expected.
offering him a light squeeze of the hand, you hope it conveys your appreciation of his small display of affection.
"so, are you going to help me make the cookies?"
his lips press into a thin line. "as thrilling as that seems, i don't particularly have a penchant for baking."
"you think you'd humor me a little! you know, since i'm your only friend and all."
"if anyone else asked me such a ridiculous question, they wouldn't live to see tomorrow." you ponder whether he's joking and quickly decide that he isn't. "this is me humoring you."
"you're so mean to me."
"hardly."
"fine," you pout. "then you can't have any!"
"now, hold on." the threat does make him hesitate. you've come to learn that if there's one thing he loves as much as reading, it's food. "let's not be hasty."
you're approaching the store, the sliding doors just a few strides away.
"it's only fair! besides, you're not going to die if you can't have cookies," you throw his earlier words in his face.
he exhales deeply. "have i ever told you how irritating you are?"
"woah! now you're definitely not getting any, mister!"
"alright, alright," he groans as you step inside. "i'll help you bake your stupid cookies."
"perfect!" you exclaim as if you knew he'd give in eventually (you did). "then you can start by finding the miso paste while i get everything else!"
you scamper off before he can tell you not to order him around like some common servant. he's never even been grocery shopping, how the hell is he supposed to find anything in here?
wandering the aisles, he stews over how domestic this is. for god's sake— the king of curses, shopping for ingredients and making baked goods. what have you reduced him to?
just as he considers giving up, he spots the item he's looking for and grabs it so aggressively that it knocks a few packets of instant miso soup to the floor. wrinkling his nose in distaste for the entire experience, he sets off looking for you, though his efforts are to no avail.
he wonders where the hell you could have gone off to when a flickering light catches his eye, filling him with a strange sort of unease.
it's emanating from a narrow hallway tucked away in the back corner of the store. at the very edge of the hall, a phone with a familiar case is lying on the floor, the screen shattered.
his blood runs cold, a sensation that is fully unknown to him, and the miso paste slips from his fingers. he appears in the hallway the very next second and the sight that greets him ignites a furious hostility in the center of his being— heavy and consuming.
you're struggling against one man as he drags you out of the backdoor and into an alley. another man is holding the door open, urging his partner to hurry up.
the hand over your mouth keeps you from yelling, but you're unsure you would have been able to make a sound regardless.
one second you're cast into darkness, and the next, the light seems blinding. the flashing is unceasing and it makes your head hurt.
two limbs are wrapped around your torso, keeping you firmly in place, and your arms are trapped at your sides. you might be kicking your legs, but they may just be dragging along too. you really can't be sure.
there's a thrum of a heartbeat at your back. it's pace is unforgiving, the intensity mirroring that of your own. you've a vague concern that your heart may very well beat right out of your chest.
then there's an abrupt shift in the air and a sickening crack echoes through out the night. crumpling onto the concrete, you think it must have started raining before you realize that the droplets on your face are warm.
you wipe at your cheek and your fingers stain crimson, the color matching that of an increasingly large puddle seeping across the pavement beside you.
there's a heap lying a few feet away and you recognize that it's wearing clothes. it's a sight you struggle to make sense of.
needing to focus on something else, your eyes find sukuna and the expression he's wearing is fierce and unreserved. "tell me what you wanted with her."
you've never heard him speak in such a way. his tone is low, his cadence nothing short of threatening.
"s-s'kuna?" your own voice sounds foreign to you and it goes unheard by him.
he has your attacker pressed against the brick wall of the alley, both hands wrapped around his throat. he's too livid to realize the pressure on his windpipe is preventing him from answering.
sukuna throws him to the other side of the alleyway out of frustration, the man rolling onto his back and wheezing to appease his lungs.
"tell me!" sukuna commands again, louder this time. less collected.
the man scrambles away from his looming figure. "th-they sent us, told us they needed her for an important matter."
"who?"
"they'll kill me if i tell you—"
sukuna crouches down, laughing dryly. "and what do you suppose i'm going to do?"
his eyes are almost unrecognizable to you. they're frenzied— a few shades deeper than the scarlet you've grown so fond of.
"you'll k-kill me either way, so at least i'll die with honor—"
"tch. useless." sukuna waves his hand, and you can hardly comprehend what happens right in front of you.
neat red lines appear across the man's body, then it ruptures into nothing at all. the only evidence that he was ever there in the first place is his blood.
the stench of which is perhaps the worst part— intense, coppery, and hot. it makes your eyes water, and before you know it, you're hunched over and emptying the contents of your stomach onto the ground.
sukuna is at your side in an instant, pulling your hair away from your face, but while one of your hands is braced against the concrete, the other endeavors to push him away.
his body doesn't budge at the contact, but he takes a step back anyway in an attempt to respect your wishes.
your mind is a mess filled with racing thoughts— what the fuck? this cannot be happening. what the hell even happened in this first place? that man was there and then he wasn't.
inhaling sharply, you wipe at your mouth and shift to pull your knees to your chest.
"what..." you trail off, surveying the unutterable, incomprehensible scene before you. "what did you do?"
he doesn't respond, though his features noticeably soften. somewhere in the back of your mind, you know very well what he did, but you can't help repeating. "what did you do?"
"we need to leave." it's not that sukuna couldn't handle whoever might show up, but seeing as this is your reaction, he has no desire to. "if you let me touch you, i can take us home."
you take a moment to think about it, then nod wordlessly. as soon as his hand falls on your shoulder, you're met with that same sensation you felt the night gojo teleported you and yuuji home after one too many drinks.
though this time, the sick feeling in your stomach isn't caused by liquor. you don't stand up, you don't so much as move a muscle when you feel the surface beneath you shift from concrete to carpet.
sukuna breathes out your name, his uncertainty evidenced by the way he's shoved his hands into his pockets. meeting his eye, you reiterate the same inquiry once more. "what did you do?"
it's almost as if you want him to tell you that he didn't do anything. that the whole experience was some disturbing nightmare.
"those men would have hurt you."
"that doesn't mean they deserved to die." you choke on the final word.
"yes— it does."
with that, silence hangs in the air like a suffocating miasma.
looking to your hands, you're reminded of the blood you've been spattered with. "i need to wash up."
you still don't move from your spot, too fixated on your flesh and the dreadful hue that it's been painted with. sukuna notices now that you're trembling.
he approaches you hesitantly before extending his hand. "let me help you."
you decline his offer, shying away from him. "i think you've done enough already."
god, the look in your eye is utterly despondent. he struggles to swallow the lump that forms in his throat.
his arm falls limply to his side and he looks across the room, your copy of the stranger earning his attention.
he's overcome with chagrin when he realizes that his concern brought about by camus' quote the other night was wholly misguided. he'd been focused on his own feelings, whether they were genuine or simply wrought by his isolation.
how foolish was he to ever question what you truly mean to him? with the anguish that's settled in his chest at the sight of your current state, the fact he ever doubted it makes him feel like a hopeless idiot.
had he any sense at all, the part that resonated with him would have been—
she mumbled that i was peculiar, that that was probably why she loved me but that one day i might disgust her for the same reason.
disgust. is that what you're feeling now? he's certain it is.
it was just last week that he relayed the story of his past. you're the only person alive to know the truth of how his wickedness came to be, and you met him with unconditional sympathy and understanding.
you pulled him close and embraced him, but now that you've seen him for what he truly is...? you can barely stand to touch him and it's like a knife to his heart.
you're so fucking warm— like the sun against his skin after weeks of endless rain.
and if you're the sun, surely he is the moon— cold and barren on his own, but brilliant when in the presence of your light.
to be without that? to be without you? it's a prospect too terrible for him to bear. it makes his stomach twist miserably.
you're startled (as is he) when his form falls to the floor, his knees meeting the carpet with a dull thud. he calls out your name again, but this time, his voice cracks as he speaks. "please."
he doesn't have a clue what he's even asking for. a chance to explain? forgiveness? a way to turn back time?
you don't say anything, but you do shift your gaze to him. he knows that he needs to fix this, so he wracks his mind for the right words.
"i didn't enjoy killing those men." he's somewhat surprised to find he's telling the truth.
"you didn't?" your voice is so small and timid that he can hardly decipher your words.
"no. my only concern was to keep you safe— to make sure they never put their hands on you ever again. all i felt was rage and... and... guilt. i should have never left you alone and it's my fault—"
"stop," you interrupt him.
there are tears welling in your eyes, making it difficult for sukuna to breathe. he's positive you're going to tell him that his intentions were of little consequence and that you never want to see him ever again.
instead, you push yourself forward and collapse against his body, your own wracked with violent sobs. the reality of the situation is only just now hitting you. it'd been much easier to focus on what sukuna had done, rather than what almost happened to you.
"i was so scared, 'kuna."
and still, despite the way you're clinging to his shirt and burying your face in chest, he's under the impression that it's him you were afraid of.
"i'm sorry," he tells you earnestly. "i never meant to frighten you."
"n-not of you. those men." you're struggling to speak in between desperate gasps. "why did they do that? what did they want with me?"
"i don't know." though, he is going to find out.
sukuna is not a man well versed in comfort, so he's not entirely sure why he begins rocking you back and forth, but he does it anyway.
when you finally start to breathe a little easier, he mumbles into your hair, "come on. let's get you cleaned up."
he doesn't give you a chance to respond before he scoops you up in his arms and carries you to the bathroom. setting you down on the counter gently, he searches the linen closet for a cloth.
it's quiet, save for your intermittent sniffling, as he runs it under warm water and wrings it out. his free hand moves to rest against the side of your neck and he dabs at the blood on your face, rinsing the washcloth every now and then.
he tries his best not to show it, but sukuna is agonizing over what might be going through your mind.
do you still feel safe with him? have your feelings changed? do you still love him, even when you've been so harshly reminded what he's capable of?
when you speak for the first time your words are hoarse, barely above a whisper. "thank you for saving me, sukuna."
he thinks about telling you not to thank him, not when it shouldn't have happened in the first place. he left your side, an error in judgement he'll never forgive himself for.
he considers your mortality— your weakness— in relation to his feelings for you. he's always seen this exceptionally human quality as despicable.
but now? all it does is terrify him.
"in the past, i was only concerned with my own whims and desires." his hand moves to cradle your face, his thumb running over your cheekbone. "though after tonight... you have to know..."
it's clear that he's struggling. his eyebrows draw together and his mouth twitches as he ponders his next words.
"i care about you, angel." his voice is hushed when he adds, "very much."
your eyes widen briefly and you murmur his name, but your mind is still reeling from the events of the past twenty minutes and you can't think of anything more to say. you're emotionally exhausted in a way you would have never thought possible.
it's plain to him too, so he knows his next question is selfish, but he can't go on without knowing. "does what you saw tonight change things between us?"
the silence preceding your answer seems to stretch on forever.
"i thought it would," you confess eventually. it was as if you'd put up a wall in your mind separating sukuna the king of curses from sukuna the man you spend your evenings with.
and it's difficult to reconcile the fact that the hands you saw used to murder two men are the same hands that are caressing your face so delicately.
at some point, however, you realized that the only time you felt fear tonight was when you were without him. his arrival and ensuing actions inspired shock and apprehension, though in some twisted way, you knew it meant you were safe. "but it doesn't."
the next question tumbles from your lips thoughtlessly. "does that make me a bad person?"
he chuckles and some of the tension in the room dissipates. "i think i'm the last one on earth that can pass moral judgement on you."
he tucks your hair behind your ear and scans your face, relief coursing through his body when he sees you smile. in this moment, there isn't anything else in the world he would have asked for.
"i guess you're right."
and now, the hand over your mouth is your own, an attempt to stifle your tired giggles. the light of the bathroom is warm and steady. sukuna's hands rest atop your hips, his touch firm but comforting. while you can't feel your own heartbeat, you're positive it must be beating in time with his.
when you crawl into bed that night sukuna pulls you close, your back pressed to his bare chest. you're thankful for the softness of his demeanor, because you need it tonight more than ever.
he doesn't recede to his domain until yuuji wakes up the following morning. he's determined to keep an eye on you as you sleep, to watch the slow rise and fall of your chest with newfound gratitude.
he knows he needs to speak with the brat about what happened. someone is after you and while he hates to admit it, he knows he can't ensure your safety alone.
and he will keep you safe, no matter the cost.
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quaranmine · 2 years
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i very much dont want to work on this presentation. because i dont really want to give this presentation despite being on board with the idea. but i have to because we have a practice run on monday (low stakes) bc my coworker is insane and is like at 2pm on a thursday: hey will yall be ready monday. no! not mentally! but at least it's not the high stakes run of the presentation yet
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naomi-nana · 2 months
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bofurin and romance tropes . wind breaker
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just as the title says, bofurin and romance tropes.
featuring : umemiya, sakura, kaji
cw : fluff, gn!reader, probably ooc
a/n : since there isn't many wind breaker fics right now, i'm gonna make one since im obsessed with the characters! if this goes well, maybe i'll make a second part:D
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UMEMIYA HAJIME . friends to lovers !
the two of you first met in café pothos, when you were helping out kotoha since it was pretty busy that day. he was the one that noticed you first and came up to you with a huge smile on his face. he didn't say anything and only stared at you for a while, which makes you think that the leader of bofurin is a freak. but you talked to him anyway.
and that leads you to being friends with him somehow. and because of that, he won't stop bothering you whenever he got the chance to. "name, look! my plants are looking so beautiful under the moon today, hahaha!" he showed them off proudly at you. you only nod your head with a smile on your face. "that's great. but, why are you taking me to furin at night? surely this isn't because you want to have a bbq party with me."
"do you want to?!"
"just tell me what you want, ume."
he chuckled and looks over at you with sincere eyes that makes you feel weirded out. not because you're disgusted by him, but because he usually looks at you that way whenever he has something serious to say. "say, are you alone right now?" you tilt your head to the side at his question. "what do you mean? i'm with you right now."
"haha, sorry. i should've been more specific. i mean, are you single?"
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SAKURA HARUKA . clueless and flustered !
"stop doing that!" sakura glares at you while his whole face glows bright red. suou and nirei only watches from the side as the interaction between you and him goes on. "doing what? i'm not doing anything!" you put the bandage on his injury. the three of them had just gotten back from a fight in the town. and apparently, sakura jumped way too early into the fight and got injured because of that. which is why you're trying to put bandages on his arms right now. keyword, trying.
"could you please stop moving?" you grab his wrist with your hand to make him stop running away from you, but it only makes it worse. he's now screaming like a crazy guy. "hey! get them away from me!" he stares at suou who only smiles at him.
"i-i think we should help him before he passed out from the amount of affection name is giving him." nirei whispers to suou, which earns a hum from him. "hmm, you're right. but this is way too amusing to watch. i say we wait a few more minutes."
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KAJI REN . talkative and quiet !
kaji is known for being a person who's easily angry. well, he might look calm, but the second someone or something pisses him off, he's really scary. which is why people often run away from him. not the people in furin though, including you, who came from a different high school. of course people think you're weird, acting all smiley besides him while he's 'ignoring' you and listening to his music.
but, in reality, he actually hears whatever you're currently saying. "kaji, did you hear? apparently that new coffee shop is closing because they didn't sell well!" you crossed your arms together as you looked at kaji with a dissappointed face. "how sad, i really liked how their coffee taste!" kaji only nod at what you said, and didn't say anything back.
you noticed that he didn't say anything and decided to just shut your mouth, since you think that you're bothering him a little and you don't want him to get mad at you. but then, he suddenly stops walking. "what's wrong, kaji?" you noticed he stopped at the coffee shop you were talking about. he took off his headphone and opened his mouth to speak,
"do you..want to buy coffee?"
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naomi-nana. do NOT repost, do not use,(with or without permission), do not reccommend or talk about my works outside of tumblr.
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zeldasnotes · 6 months
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𝖆𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖆𝖓𝖙 𝖔𝖇𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 🪽
This post contains both natal & synastry observations!
These are my personal observations based on people Ive met and celebrities and are not to be taken as facts. The rest of the chart has to be taken into consideration so not everyone will relate.
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• Having Saturn and Neptune both aspecting the Ascendant is perfect for a model. The Saturn effect makes the model look cold and untouchable. But the dreamy Neptune effect makes the onlookers delulu enough to think they might be able to look like the model too if they buy the product the model is wearing.
• Ascendant ruler in the 10th house people makes someone come across as authoritative.
• Capricorn Risings wants to come across as somebody with high status. Might like to wear their work uniform or ”the original” and ”timeless” brands. The kind of people to wear their stethoscope and white coat on their profile pic.
• Mars Square Ascendant can have this tense ”you better watch yourself” look.
• When your Lilith conjunct someones Ascendant they might represent everything you just cant be with. Huge age difference seems to be the most common theme here but also different religions especially if Lilith is in Sagittarius. If Juno is involved yall might make it work anyways but if not it can be secret relationship. Ascendant person feels like the Lilith person see right through them.
• Bella(695) conjunct Ascendant shows up a lot in the charts of beauty queens. Both Vanessa Williams and Priyanka Chopra have Bella conjunct Ascendant and Priyanka won Miss World and Vanessa won Miss America.
• Ascendant ruler conjunct the Ascendant seems to give a very strong personality and presence. Both Madonna and Beyonce have this.
• Ascendant Ruler in the 2nd house = making money bc of your looks. Ex. Pamela Anderson.
• Ascendant ruler in the 2nd house or vice versa might change their look a lot when they get money. Might like to spend money on their looks. Kylie Jenner for example have her 2nd house ruler in the 1st house.
• Venus/Ascendant usually have a beauty mark, very often beside the eye or the Marilyn Monroe mole.
• One of the easiest ways to recognize a venusian ascendant is the lips. They seem to often be heartshaped, a prominent cupids bow or just a very soft and plump look. Pouty mouth.
• Ascendant Ruler in the 9th house might have a look that you see instantly where they come from or the opposite. Might get a lot of questions about their cultural background.
• Someone with planets conjunct your Ascendant in synastry will make sure you notice them. Because they sure as hell noticed you and you better reciprocate or they will start acting all rude to get your attention.
• Pluto conjunct Ascendant in the Fama(408) Persona Chart makes you THAT bitch. Makes me think of the lyrics ”you know im the face of the city bitch, thats what you mad”
• Lilith aspecting the Ascendant can make someone look very ”goth” even if they dont even have that style.
• Pluto conjunct Ascendant liked to hide and protect themselves which is seen on how they style themselves. Might like sunglasses, a lot of makeup, a lot of tattoos, wearing a cap, military clothes, walking around with a bulldog.
• Dainty(9758) conjunct Ascendant makes someone look so delicate.
• Air Ascendants seems to just know everyone.
• I cant stand Venus Square Ascendant in synastry. Im a Cap Rising and so many Aries Venuses said I was boring and too serious. I know its true but the Cap Venus guys love it. The issue with this aspect is that there seem to be some kind of attraction but at the same time something bothering the Venus person. And if the rest of the synastry is good it can make Venus want to still be around Asc but still be bothered by them. And I cant stand relationships where you only ”half” like eachother.
© 2023 Zeldas Notes All Rights Reserved
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silverstonesainz · 3 months
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hi!! could i request "i'm in love with you, you dumbass." & "i've been following you around like a lost puppy since the day we met, yet you couldn't see?" with Max? thank you!
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not enough 𐙚 all the words, all the love– it's still not enough (1.4k words)
d rambles. . . im sorry this took forever and that it kinda sucks. i did what i could. thank u for requesting
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The room feels stuffy. Twenty minutes ago you were shivering but now you’re hot. The whole room pays no mind to your discomfort, you’re sure no one even has a clue how uncomfortable you feel in your own skin. You try to find the will to stay, to tough out the next hour or so for him. But the longer you stand in a crowd of people who you could care less about being here. It was no fun watching Max flirt with another girl at the bar anyways, and the more you stand and stare the more your will withers away. 
It’s stretched thin, a rubber band being pulled well beyond its means. You’re holding one and Max has the other. He pulls and pulls and—
Max leans in. He leans down so close you can only imagine the lucky girl can smell his after shave and feel his warm breath tickle her skin. And he makes her laugh. 
Snap.
You inhale sharply, balling the fabric of your dress to calm your nerves. You don’t bother to excuse yourself from the conversation you were stood in, just squeeze past bodies and through the room in search for just a bit for fresh air because you can’t fucking breathe. 
The double glass doors take you out onto the bustling street and straight into the cold wind. You welcome the kiss of cold air against your skin, the shiver it sends down on your spine. You welcome the brief distraction because at least for the next few seconds you don’t have to feel your chest caving in. At least for now, even with people rushing by you with people to see and places to go, you are happy in your solitude. Misery and loneliness cannot find you in these five seconds, you are untouchable. 
But it was merely just a moment, nothing less and nothing more. It’s fleeting, quick to slip from you. You’re pulled back down to earth when you hear your name called behind you, confused, waiting for an answer to an unasked question. You squeeze your eyes, ball your fist at your sides and find it in you to pretend like you’re alight. Breathe in, breathe out.
There you are, Max sounds relieved when he says it. “Why’d you leave?”
“Felt stuffy,” You admit curtly, still refusing to look at him. “Couldn’t breathe.” 
Your tone does not fly by Max, and you miss the way he frowns at the back of your head because of it. But he’s Max, ever hopeful and ever oblivious. “Well come back, they’re about to make an announcement.” 
Tension falls from your palm as you flex your fingers back. You inhale sharply, letting cool air fill your lungs and creep under your skin. “I think I might just go.” 
Max’s footsteps pit-pat around you, feel his hand hold onto your elbow gently as he takes a look at you. He tries to find a sliver of emotion, a tell of why you suddenly want to leave. But all he finds is exhaustion, a dead-pan look that leaves him without a clue. 
“You’re mad.” He shifts on his feet, says it like he knows because he just does. Of course he does. He steps out so he’s directly in front of you, head tilted so he can get a better look at your face. “You’re mad at me?” 
You turn away. “I’m not mad at you.” 
You’re mad at him. You’re mad he can’t see you, mad that he doesn’t want you. You are mad, but you don’t have a right to be. You’re upset and aching in your chest all over a boy who has no fucking clue. You’re mad. You’re mostly mad at yourself, for letting your feelings grow as much as they did, to allow your heart to dictate the way you move around him. 
“But you’re mad. Why?”
You groan, head falling into your hands, “I don’t wanna talk about it, I just wanna go home.” 
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.” Max tucks his index finger under your chin, forces your gaze up to his face. You resent the way he worries, resent the way his bright blue eyes are just filled with it, it almost makes you feel guilty for the way your chest aches. His finger feels hot against your skin, shoots sparks through every nerve ending and suddenly the cold air does nothing to keep you calm. 
You turn your head, yanking your chin away from him and take a few steps backwards as you search for the feeling of cold air, for the freedom of just being able to fucking breathe. You’re ashamed of the way your chest heaves, that you show just how weak he can make you with just one touch. Max asks what’s wrong, calls out your name with the same worry you saw in his eyes two seconds ago. It shouldn’t make your blood boil but it does. It fucking does. 
“Stop! Stop! Stop!” You beg, “Please stop. Please stop saying my name and asking what’s wrong because—“ The cold air finally catches you and grabs the words in your throat. You swallow, hard, pushing down every single thought and mistake that threatens to come out. “I just need space.” 
Max’s shoulder’s slump behind you, expression wounded and confused. “What’s your problem?”
It’s an honest question. It’s Max being Max— blunt and straight to the point. He doesn’t spare your feelings, doesn’t tiptoe around your obviously fired state because why should he? He’s always been this way, and it was a trait that you’ve always found endearing. But in this moment, with smoke pouring out of your ears and your heart beating so hard it rattles your ribs, it was like turning up the stove on water that is already boiling. It’s just enough to break you, just enough for everything you’ve spent months trying to keep at bay to bubble over. 
“You!” Your fingers rake through your hair roughly, undoing the effort you put in to make it look nice. You were shaking, every bit of you searching for bit of release and all you had was the words on the tip of your tongue.
“Me?!” Max answers back, confused. “What did I do?!”
“You’re just…” The words begin to tumble out of you in an incoherent stutter. “I've been following you around like a lost puppy since the day we met, yet you couldn't see? You still don’t see…” 
You almost want to laugh at the way Max looks at you and how invisible you truly are. This was the moment it was supposed to click and yet he still doesn’t have a clue— like it’s almost unfathomable to him that you could ever want more than what you both share. 
“I’m in love with you,” Your voice shakes, “you dumbass.” 
Max’s brows furrow, eyes expectant. He’s waiting for the punchline, the part of the joke where you shove him back and say that you were only kidding. But you stand there, cold wind kissing your skin pink and the world just bustling by. Despite the people walking too and fro, despite the murmurs of conversation that are completely lost to you, the silence between the two of you was deafening.
You don’t know how long it is until the boy in front of you makes a move. You watch as he rubs his jaw, eyes cast past you as he searches for the right thing to say. The wind is knocked out of you as you watch Max try and fail to say something, anything. Instead you’re left to listen to the stammers and syllables of failed words. 
I’m sorry, is all he manages. 
He’s sorry that you’re upset. Sorry that you bore your heart out for him and all he had to show for was a stutter and stammer. He apologizes because he sees you, he sees all of you, and somehow you were not enough. Max says he loves you — because of course he loves you, you’re his best friend. He says that he appreciates you, that he can’t stand to lose you and he hopes that you would still want to stay even if he can’t love you that way. Max says all the right things, all the things that were meant to quell your aching heart. Instead it does the opposite. The words pluck at the pieces of your heart, shard by shard until you’re left with a hole in your chest in the shape of him. Max does everything right and yet, like you, it’s not enough. 
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qawcamiz · 1 year
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flirty scara x insecured reader? like maybe self loathing themselves 😙
Glimpse — Scaramouche
Synopsis: You were nothing but an ordinary student, People never attempted to approach you, Until a certain Indigo-haired dude asked you out.
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warnings: self-loathing, flirt attempts, offensive content, bullying, ooc, etc.
notes: agghsge I'm sosorryyy for being inactive 😭😭🙏🙏 I'll js fix the error tmrrrrr and if there's grammars my apologies im half asleep when i wrote this 🙂🙂
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"y/n."
A voice called out from behind, startling you out of your thoughts. Veering around, your eyes locked with the Indigo eyes that were fixed on you, "Uh, Yes?" you asked, baffled.
It wasn't every time people would call out to you. In fact, No one attempt to chat with you unless they ought something. You'd probably be more surprised if someone spoke directly to you and it's happening, the person talking to you is known all over the school for their coldness and mindset. So you were kind of thrown when he began speaking to you.
"Be my partner."
Gasps can be heard throughout the room as students turn to look at the male who just spoke up, when he finished his sentence, your cheeks bloom red. It was not the statement you anticipated, especially from him, and you're kind of dumbfounded.
'He's probably just... Ugh.'
"Pardon?" you ask politely, though unsure about what his intentions are with this whole situation. "Did you not hear me? I want to be your companion for the upcoming task." He continues, giving you an expectant look which you fail to return because you're still trying to process what he'd said.
"Huh?! Scara~ Are you sure you want to be partnered with this— thing? Come on! Think twice!"
"Unless he lost to a bet?"
"Understandable."
"Right! He probably lost to a bet that's why he's asking y/n for their help, they don't even seem interested, Haha!"
"Seriously? Scaramouche and y/n? Is he just trying to get them a good grade by partnering with them?? That's stupid,"
The whispers around you grow louder as everyone starts to make fun of you for the current situation you're in.
"T-Thank you for the offer, really, But I'm certain I can work alone on our lesson," you say with an awkward smile, "Maybe you could just try asking someone else instead," you manage to say while staring into his pretty eyes.
"No way! Are they actually refusing Scaramouche?"
'What the fuck do you guys want me to do then?! You were just judging me a few seconds ago because he wants to pair up with me! And now that I'm rejecting his offer you're mad too?! Ridiculous!'
"they think rejecting him is cool! It's not like they ALWAYS get a partner, right?"
"They might reject him just for looking like this and making them feel inferior,"
"Poor Scaramouche! How can someone like them reject him?"
The students went on to talk as you tried to maintain yourself calm and steady despite all these comments, but unfortunately, all that did was cause you to start feeling a little tense. Not enough to go wild or anything. Just a tiny amount. You could still deal with the ridicule, but not enough to get furious at them,
Scaramouche grimaced at the crowd of students who were talking about you while you were staring at the floor, Making them look away,
He picked up your bag off the ground and threw it over his shoulder, grabbing your hand to pull you out of the classroom with him. You didn't resist as he dragged you outside, ignoring everyone calling after him as they watched him go.
Once you two left the room, he eventually let go of your hand and kept walking. You followed behind him, keeping your mouth shut. It wasn't until he stopped in front of you and uttered, "Apologies for dragging you here against your will, and well- drawing attention onto us," he says awkwardly, scratching his neck with his free hand as he looked around,
"Also, it's not every time I do requests. I wish to be your partner for the project. we have mutual chemistry and I believe that working together would benefit both of us," he said grinning,
You blinked rapidly a few times, not knowing how to respond to such a sincere statement,
"...You're aware that bunch of people out there desire to have you as their partner for this right? I mean I am glad and surprised that you're inviting someone like me but you don't have to push yourself!" you respond nervously, fiddling with your fingers before rubbing your hands to keep from getting too nervous.
"Look, I won't force you. You can simply say no, you're only saying that because you care about what people think, Right?" he asked.
He stared at you for a moment. Then he grabbed your chin, making you meet his intense eyes. You gasped slightly at the contact, then relaxed after a second. "Just do whatever feels right to you, okay?" He sneered.
Your face flushed again as you nodded shyly at him. He smiled lightly at you before releasing your chin and letting go of your hand,
"Okay..."
After a few days, You've gotten closer to Scaramouche, everyday he would go to you and walk you home, helping you study in class and even hanging out at lunchtime.
it also took you a bit to realize that you were starting to develop feelings toward him, Who wouldn't? With his handsome features paired with his cold demeanor, plus that cute laugh of his whenever he speaks, you're sure to fall in love with him sooner or later, no matter how hard you try not to.
The earlier morning he asked you to hang out with him at the park near your house so you agreed, and now you're walking with Him beside you. It was quiet between you two, as you weren't much of a chatterbox.
The silence is mostly comfortable, though you felt your heart beating faster than normal, which made you panic slightly. Why is your heart beating this fast? Maybe you're sick!
You shake the thought away, it's probably nothing... "You alright?" Scaramouche asked, tilting his head slightly as if noticing you panicking a bit before shrugging.
You nod quickly, trying to avoid eye contact, "Yea! I'm fine, Sorry, Don't you think it's gotten cold? It's not even winter yet—"
Your rambling stops abruptly as you felt his arm move across yours to hold your hand tightly. "If you wanted to hold my hand, you could've just said so, instead of making absurd excuses," he grinned at you, squeezing your hand reassuringly,
"T-That's not—" you stutter. Your ears start burning from embarrassment. You really shouldn't let his charm affect you that easily. Or maybe it was just the way his touch felt so warm and inviting?
"What's that? Do you also want to kiss me? Now aren't we getting ahead of ourselves a little early?" he smirked down at you, leaning forward until you were nose to nose,
"I didn't even say anything— I wasn't going to!" You argued back, taking a step back from him as he chuckled.
His laugh was nice to hear, "Go ahead, I might let you." He whispered in an amused tone. The smirk remained on his face as he leaned forward again, bringing his other hand to cup your cheek, "Are you blushing?" he teased gently stroking it with his thumb while keeping eye contact with you.
Your body was heating up, it felt warm and tingly from all those butterflies suddenly fluttering around in your stomach, and your cheeks felt flushed due to his closeness. It was weird and uncomfortable how he had made you feel all flustered and embarrassed. You didn't know how to respond, so you simply closed your eyes, allowing your cheek to be caressed while his breath tickled your ear,
You felt his lips brush against yours and your heart began racing again. His thumb moved from your cheekbone and rested itself over your lips before moving slightly and softly kissing them. Your eyes flew open in shock. You stood there, frozen and completely dumbfounded as your heart rate increased drastically in both speed and volume,
"There, I kissed you." He snickered down at you, his voice low and smooth. His voice sends shivers down your spine and you blush more.
You shook your head slightly and cleared your throat before smiling at him,
"Right!" That was all you managed to mutter back.
You looked back at him for a second, then averted your gaze toward the ground once more. You couldn't believe that you got kissed by someone like Scaramouche! you didn't have any idea how to react.
but, to be fair, most girls would jump at the chance to kiss him when they first saw him, so you weren't complaining.
Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt his hand slide down your arm to grasp your hand and intertwine your fingers. You glanced down at your interlaced hands, then back up at him in confusion, "Are you fine with this?" he asked, looking at you curiously.
"Mhm! No worries." You nodded quickly as you started to walk, but hesitantly intertwined your fingers with his, causing his grin to widen.
"But... If any chance s-someone you know strolled by— we can quit holding hands, I don't want to embarrass you in front of your friends..." you mumbled, feeling his hand squeeze yours tighter.
"If someone I know happened to catch a glimpse of us, I'd pull you extra close."
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watchmegetobsessed · 5 months
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okay so hear me out: yn’s dad owes a hell lot os money to harry’s dad, not like in a maffia way, but its a serious situation. harry’s father comes up with an offer: if yn marries harry, he will let go of the debt. ofc yn’s dad refuses to sell his daughter but she wants to help her family so she ends up convincing her dad to accept it.
now, harry is known to be this grumpy, closed off loner, he has his own house with lands that he takes care of himself, he is doing his own business but he is known to be distant and doesn’t want anything to do with people. thats the reason why his dad wants him to marry someone, so that he might come out of his shell and start acting “normal”.
there is no wedding, they sign the papers separately and yn moves into harry’s house but they are just two strangers living together. harry ignores her most of the time, even tells her to stay out of his space and she can do whatever she wants as long as she doesn’t bother him.
but ofc they can’t avoid each other entirely so they have awkward encounters and run ins here and there, they even talk sometimes and slowly, i mean veeeryy slowly they get used to each other. but yn still feels incredibly lonely and homesick and one night harry finds her crying in the kitchen and he realises how awful she must be feeling so he tries to make her feel more home: he plants her favourite flowers in the garden, he repaints the window frames in the sunroom where she likes to read to her favourite color, he even attempts to cook for her… and slowly, she realises he is not the grumpy, mad guy everyone fears in town but a wonderful man who has been going out of his way to make her happy and ofc she is falling for him, just as hard as he is falling for her.
that is until he finds the emails she has exchanged with a lawyer about a possible divorce without fearing consequences towards her dad. he gets mad and disappointed and so sad, bc he felt like he found the person he could open up to but he was reminded that yn was only there to help her dad, not for him.
bc he still loves her, he gives her a way out: she can go back to her old life, they are getting a divorce and her father will remain dept free. she is confused about the 180 he just took, he is cold all of a sudden and she doesn’t know why. she convinces herself that he doesn’t love her and that she has to move on so she takes the deal and moves back home.
they start the divorce process, it takes about a month and they both suffer that time without each other, she realises he is her home now and he believes he will never love anyone again. they have to sign the final papers and so harry tries to make it happen without them meeting but she shows up at his place and says “i will sign these papers if you say you don’t love me, but if there is the slightest chance you have any feelings for me then im ripping these to pieces and coming right back where i belong” and he goes “feelings? yn i love you like i never thought i could possibly love anyone, i was just a shadow all my life until you came into my life and brought light and love and i will never be the same man again, not after seeing a glimpse of what life could be with you”
so ofc no papers get signed, their dumb asses realise they both been in love with each other so she moves back and they never let go of each other.
wow this was a long rambling lol
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