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writsgrimmyblog · 6 years

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Rec List #1 Theme: 2018 Favourites

One of my fandom resolutions is to rec more in 2019. I’m going to post rec lists for some of my favourite Nick fics divided up by theme/content/ship or whatever I fancy throughout the year. It seems fitting that my first rec post of 2019 should be my favourite Nick Fics of 2018. If you’re interested in my Harry Potter themed recs, you can find them over on my other blog @writcraft under the tag #writ recs where I’m undertaking the same initiative.

This is by no means an exhaustive list - I’m limiting myself to ten recs per list and it is very difficult, I could have recced many more. I’ve read and enjoyed a whole raft of terrific stories and this rec list is simply based on my personal tastes which may not be everybody else’s cuppa. Please heed the content warnings the author has flagged on AO3 in each case, none of my recs include the content tags.

#1. Ten Track Sophomore Album by @junkshop-disco

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles | 4,228

Nick has always lived in noise, been the cause of a lot of it, but one day a boy writes him into a pop song and the whole world dissolves into static.

It doesn’t happen like that, not that easy, not that linear, but that’s the heart of it, the soul, if these things have such a thing.

My Rec: The Nick fic of 2018 is undoubtedly the final installment of junkshop-disco’s incredible Doodle of a Surface Life but that has quite rightly garnered so many recs by now if any Gryles reader hasn’t yet indulged, run, quick, what are you waiting for? I love DOASL with all of my heart, but I’m also a sucker for angst and I wanted to highlight this equally terrific fic in my rec list. The structure of this story, in which Nick loses his ability to hear music, is so cleverly done. It’s a very skilled writer that can create an entire fic around sound and make it come alive, and junkshop-disco manages it brilliantly. The fic reads like music, even as it describes the absence of it and it’s a stunning piece of writing. If you like your Gryles contemplative and angsty with confident, lyrical prose, this is the one for you. Junkshop-disco has such a terrific way with words I highly recommend reading all the works by this author. Every single one. But when you do make sure you take a moment to stop by this beautiful story and leave it all the love it deserves.

#2. Tell Me It’s The Strongest Shape by @louandhazaf

Nick Grimshaw/Elgar Johnson/Louis Tomlinson | 73,224

Nick and Elgar have it all. They’re famous, successful, and engaged to be married—and sometimes they play with others.

When uni student Louis gets street cast by Elgar for a GQ photoshoot, he's drawn into Nick and Elgar’s complicated relationship.

They've always invited mates into their bed. It doesn’t ever mean anything. Until… it does.

My Rec: This is such a great exploration of polyamory and the complexities of open relationships, and the author took a great deal of time developing the relationships between the characters and really working on highlighting some of those difficulties. I tend to gravitate towards fanfic where I care deeply about the characters, and although Elgar seems terrific I don’t have the same fannish relationship to him as I do to Nick and Louis so I was curious to know how I would respond to this fic. Basically, the author killed it. I felt such a deep investment in Elgar, Nick and Louis throughout and everything just flew by as I was reading. It’s also really fucking hot. Like, REALLY. Brilliantly done. I loved it.

#3. Let The Boys All Sing And The Boys All Shout For Tomorrow by @lunarrua

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles | 18,429

It's February 1988. Thatcher is in power. There's a new drug sweeping through the clubbing scene. In Manchester, it's the eve of a major protest and a new musical movement. And when Nick finds Harry looking lost outside his favourite chip shop, it's the start of a weekend that will leave an indelible mark on both their lives.

My Rec: I saw the summary for this fic and actually yelled at my screen when it popped into my inbox. Gryles, set in Manchester in the 80s? Hell yes. The fic itself certainly didn’t disappoint, it’s absolutely beautiful. The author writes a well-researched, confident piece and the result is stunning. The atmosphere of the whole story is captivating and you can feel yourself transported to the heady days before the Manchester music scene shifted, the anxieties of the AIDS crisis and the fragility of the relationships formed during that period. The Harry of this fic has a transient quality which evokes the nostalgic reflection on a different time in our not so distant past. A real triumph. I loved this story with my whole heart.

#4. Séjour by @silveredsound

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 6,288

It is so quiet, which should be conducive to concentration, but Nick is bored and listless and lonely. He’s been there for two days and wants to know where the helpful lady is who’ll deliver him a gamine but takes-no-shit housekeeper who he can fall in love with without words. Words are not his friend.

“Where is my Love Actually moment?” he asks the ceramic kitchen sink as he pokes holes in the cover of one of the M&S ready meals he brought over with him.

«≠»

Nick’s got writer's block. Louis is a master of distraction.

My Rec: I’ve loved a number of stories by Silv this year and I was swinging back and forth between this and others, but there’s something about this little fic that has wormed its way into my heart and has taken hold so this is the one I’m choosing. As I said in my earlier reblog rec, this has such lush, evocative prose it perfectly captures the sense of a fleeting summer. There’s a seductive quietness to it, and a lovely unfolding of the story through snippets of tasting notes left by Louis on bottles of wine and Nick feeling a little bit lost and searching for words as he struggles with writer’s block. Two boys find one another in the warmth of a sleepy French town and it’s beautiful. Really wonderfully done.

#5. Fists & Flowers ‘Verse by @jiksax

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles | 1,613 (Make It Worse) and 2,322 (I’ll Do What You Like (If You Stay The Night)

He’s looking at Nick with that soft, terrible look in his eyes, the look that tells Nick the two of them are probably something.

My Rec: If anyone other than Jiksa had told me they were planning an angsty fisting fic series I would have been like umm really? But of course, it’s Jiksa, so naturally I found myself sobbing at the raw, devastating intensity of the story. Jiksa deftly weaves the intensity of the physical act itself into the emotional tumult of Harry and Nick’s relationship in a way that’s incredibly beautiful. A bold, brave, superb piece of hot, confident writing, rich with emotional complexity. Gorgeous.

#6. Constantly on the Cusp by @shiftylinguini

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 6169

It’s 5 in the morning, and Nick’s got an alarm going off, an unexpected bed full of pop star, and a nation to wake up.

It’s far too fucking early for this.

My Rec: UNFFFFF. I love Shifty’s writing. Like, an obsessive amount. I was so thrilled when Shifty started writing Tomlinshaw I didn’t know quite what to do with myself. It’s actually hard to believe this was Shifty’s first Tomlinshaw, because everything about the fic felt like they have been writing them for years. Louis is sleepy, horny and pissed off, Nick is awake, horny and wondering what it all means, and together they have this scorching hot, sexy moment. Nick’s internal monologue gives us so much insight into their relationship and the fic offers a lovely, warm, hopeful moment at the end. Fantastically written and a sexy delight from start to finish. Loved it!

#7. this cookie’s baking by @disgruntledkittenface

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles (Genderswap Femslash) | 8,148

Harry’s eyes flicker between Nick’s eyes and lips. “I just want to be your–”

“Baby,” Nick says softly, cupping Harry’s jaw, “you already are.”

Nick and Harry have a long-overdue conversation.

My Rec: This was the first genderswap Gryles fic I have read and I absolutely loved it. The relationship between Nick and Harry feels so perfectly them and there’s a lovely warmth to the whole story. It’s light and funny but also contains moments of real emotional depth and those first time explorations and the hesitancy of admitting to being something more than friends is handled in such a terrific way. It’s a gorgeous story with wonderful writing and I loved every minute of reading it.

#8. let’s make some new rules by @camiii

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 12,743

A coffee shop, a Christmas party & a fake date to make sure no one gets laid at the end of the night.

My Rec: This was such an enjoyable read. I love camiii’s Tomlinshaw, and seeing this pop up was a wonderful surprise. Barista Louis agrees to be Nick’s fake boyfriend as he pines over an ex that definitely isn’t worth his time, and they become closer in the process. The pace of the story is wonderful, the flirting is brilliant and despite some misunderstandings and Nick’s no good ex trying to fuck things up, the ending is warm and hopeful. A lovely story, full of festive cheer. Thoroughly enjoyable.

#9. I’ll be seeing you by @daretomarvel / renlyne

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles | 11,481

It’s 2028, and Nick’s bought a house.

My Rec: I love Ren’s writing and this Notebook inspired Gryles is a beautiful treat of a story, in which Nick starts buying little bits for his dream house. It’s hard to believe this story is just over 11,000 words because the world the author creates is so rich, detailed, layered and complex. The relationship between Nick and Harry has all of these gorgeous details and nuggets of history as it grows and develops, seedling-like, into something that might just be everything they’ve both been searching for. It’s a warm, hopeful, beautiful story but as it’s Ren, it manages to still tug at the heartstrings in the best kind of way. I read this again as I was putting my rec list together and did so with a lump in my throat, full of feels for the Nick and Harry of Ren’s universe. Gorgeous writing with bags of emotional intensity. I loved it.

#10. All I’ve ever had are love songs by @candybarrnerd / icarusinflight

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 21,688

Things are finally coming together for Nick.

Nick is the DJ of his uni's radio stations, and he passively aggressively dedicates a song to Louis.

My Rec: Icarusinflight is another author who was already on my periphery from Harry Potter fandom who wrote their first Tomlinshaw fic this year and I was so thrilled to see them writing in this fandom and I’m very excited about their upcoming 2019 projects which also includes fics featuring the 1D boys in various ship combos. I love uni AUs and I hadn't read one for a while, so this was such a treat. I loved how Louis is sharp, sassy and confident but with niggling insecurities. Harry was so affectionately humorous in this story and Nick’s voice is wonderful. This is a really well-paced, enjoyable story with a hot af first kiss that deserves a mention all of its own. The music references, the tea and the cameos from various 1D members are all terrific and the writing is brilliant. Can’t wait for more from this author this year.

Bonus Rec: I was meant to limit this to just 10 recs but I also wanted to give a quick shout out to @nightwideopen. I’ve said this in previous rec lists before, but I am constantly impressed by the quality of @nightwideopen‘s writing and the way they explore things such as asexuality and gender dysphoria which can be harder to find in a relatively small fandom. I’d particularly rec so far (it’s alright) and i’ve been thinking lots about your mouth from this year, both Tomlinshaw.

#recs #writ recs #gryles #tomlinshaw #rec list 1

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ettadunham · 5 years

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A Buffy rewatch 3x19 Choices

aka everyone’s just dying to give each other a piece of their mind

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and rant about it in 10-3k words. What you can expect: long run-on sentences and disjointed observations, often focused on one tiny detail about the episode. What you shouldn’t be expecting: actual reviews that make sense.

And I’ve been waiting forever for today’s episode to finally discuss some quality Willow and Faith feelings... And it turns out that it was just a 2-minute-scene all along? Still, we’ll be making the best out of those 2 minutes, folks.

There’s actually a lot going on in Choices, but I want to get the main rant out first, before I get lost in all the small details of it.

So... Willow and Faith.

Fun fact, did you know that that is actually the 5th most popular BtVS F/F pairing tag on Ao3? Right after the popular canon, the popular “it’s basically canon and you can fucking sue me” ship, the pairing of the two main female characters (shout out to the Wuffys, I got you) and the less popular canon ship.

Which... wasn’t really what I was expecting? I mean, I also wasn’t expecting #6 being Faith/Dawn (having a 2 fic-lead on the ultimate OTP because you’re all heathens), so I guess I know nothing.

Some of those switch though if you filter for the F/F category, look, I have charts:

(Meanwhile Buffy/Kendra has like 12 fics, you really are all heathens.)

Anywho, thanks for coming to my Ted talk about the math of Buffy femslash. Now, back to Willow and Faith specifically.

Once I thought about it, it did make sense that this is actually a popular fandom pairing I guess? On one hand, it’s a common denominator situation, as in note which characters pop up consistently on that chart... On the other hand, in this episode alone Willow taunts Faith to which she responds by punching her and threatening her with a knife... And that’s pretty much how foreplay works as far as Faith’s concerned.

Faith just likes it rough, okay? Remember the screencap I used for Consequences after Buffy punches her?

I rest my case.

But I’m already way off topic here. Because what I was actually planning on talking about initially was how Willow felt about Faith, and the source of those feelings.

I already pointed this out, but I feel it’s worth repeating - Willow’s dislike of Faith goes back to two episodes in particular: Bad Girls and Consequences. As far as I was able to discern this time during my rewatch, there were no previous signs of animosity between the two preceding that two-parter.

In Bad Girls, Buffy blows Willow off for their study session to go out with Faith, and starts rambling about how Willow and Xander wouldn’t understand anyway what she and Faith do.

Willow is deeply hurt and jealous... She actually blows Buffy off too in return when she tries talking to her at school in the next episode, and only listens once Buffy shows up crying at her doorstep not knowing what to do about the whole Faith killed a guy situation.

In the same episode, Xander lets it slip that he and Faith had sex... And Willow is once again obviously hurt and jealous. She even has a good cry about it in the bathroom.

And I guess that that seems like a stronger emotional response than how she reacts to Faith stealing away Buffy from her, but it’s still coming from the same place. Note her line in that episode when she acknowledges her biases:

I'm not the most objective, I know. I kind of have an issue with Faith sharing my people.

“Sharing my people” - she’s pointedly talking about both Xander and Buffy here.

And there is a specific kind of betrayal that she feels from Xander, and that’s going to translate to pretty much all of Xander’s relationship... But at this point, it’s not really about her wanting that relationship with Xander. She had the option and she rejected it.

Still, if Xander has that with someone else, that makes their shared experiences feel less special. It makes her feel like less special in his life. (Which unfortunately tracks with a lot of Xander’s behavior about how he’s always chasing the new, shiny and unattainable thing in his life.)

Meanwhile with Buffy, Willow is mostly supportive of her relationships... up until to the point that she feels like they’re taking up the space that she occupies in Buffy’s life. And that very much happens with Faith in those moments, as Buffy suddenly feels like she can’t share with Willow what she and Faith has. (I swear, I’m not even trying, these sentences just turn out this way.)

So... yeah. Willow is super pissed at Faith for having the audacity to try and take away her people from her, and then hurting the both of them.

And I guess we can see some of that same kind of jealousy with Faith (I can and I will read parallels into Willow and Faith’s characters, just you wait) and her whole thing with Buffy and Angel in Choices... Except it’s weirdly misdirected? Like is the Mayor and the show seriously trying to tell us that Faith is jealous about Angel not wanting to make out with her, when that whole thing was all about Buffy in the first place?

Really, Mayor Wilkins? Really?

Well, I guess he is evil.

Back to Willow though, we have this scene where she gets taken hostage, and after she murders her vampire guard with a pencil (amazing), she decides to get comfortable in the Mayor’s office and read through all 5 tomes of the Books of Ascension??? It’s such a delightful nonsense.

Of course, I’m definitely with her on the whole “knowledge is power” notion. Even if they were to prevent the Mayor from having this Box of MacGuffin, there’s no way to tell if that would actually stop the Ascension. But knowing what’s to come and what they could do about it? That’s a definite win.

The issue is that as Faith puts it, being caught red-handed while gaining that knowledge makes Willow some very strong murder material for the bad guys. She could’ve just put the books in a bag, and tried escaping with them, or get the hell out there the moment she discovered those sensitive pages.

But do you know what I think? I think Willow just wanted to have the chance to confront Faith. She was ready to die just to give her a piece of her mind.

Willow: It's way too late. You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends in your life like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer and now you're nothing. You're just a big selfish, worthless waste.

That’s commitment.

Notice also how she highlights Faith having Buffy in her life and not appreciating it enough to keep fighting. I do feel like Willow is deeply offended by that. I talk about her jealousy a lot, but her commitment to the people she loves is usually her more dominant character trait. Feeling like Faith stole her friends from her hurt her; but her anger mostly comes from the fact that Faith hurt Buffy and Xander in unimaginable ways.

I guess this episode did give me a lot of Willow feelings.

Someone else who shared Willow’s need to impart some wisdom in the most inconvenient times was the Mayor. And honestly? I didn’t care a whole lot about it. Angel and Buffy has a million other conflicts that come before him being immortal.

Like, I get that it’s supposed to shake them out of their own little bubble a bit, and face the fact that they don’t really see a future together. I believe the phrasing I previously used was that being together prevents them from becoming the people they want to be.

Their initial exchange at the graveyard is kinda hilarious though. “You never take me to any place new” - I’m still laughing, ngl.

At the same time, Xander and Cordelia still appear to be having their bitter verbal conflicts. Which is weird, especially after Earshot, an episode that I praised for including Cordelia in the group once again. (I guess maybe Earshot was written with a different place in the season in mind for it initially? I know that it didn’t air when it was supposed to too, because of the school shooting aspect...)

Here, the two of them are once again out to get each other. Even Buffy ends up in the crossfires, as Cordelia aims one of her pointedly cruel jabs at her. Yikes.

But we also find out here that Cordelia is working in a dress shop now, so there’s that.

And this episode of course is also about everyone’s futures. Willow decides that despite being accepted into literally every school ever, she’s going to attend UC Sunnydale with Buffy. Not just to be with her, but because she enjoys saving the world and all that jazz.

Oh, Willow, if you only knew...

This of course also presents a welcome contrast for Buffy, who feels like she doesn’t have a choice but to stay in Sunnydale. It’s a really nice moment between them, as Buffy realizes herself that she too very much made that choice herself. Because that’s who Buffy is. Someone who could never turn her back on the people who need her.

Buffy: I kinda love you.

We all do, Buffy. Just ask Oz, and his decisive ingredient smashing move that annihilated the whole argument about whether or not they should rescue Willow. (”That’s your future wife!” - me @ Alexis Denisof in that scene.)

Also, shout out at that whole Mission Impossible heist premise we got going on in this episode. I always appreciate a weird clash of genres.

#buffy rewatch 2k19 #btvs talk #btvs

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knightofbalance-13 · 6 years

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http://nerdgasrnz.tumblr.com/post/168146804389/you-bigoted-geek-ass-homophobic-transphobic

Old post I know but-

Point still needs to be made.

You bigoted geek-ass homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist MOTHERFUCKERS still don’t understand what the problem is, do you?

Looks like you’re finally getting some self awareness.

Oh wait, you’re not talking about yourself? Huh.

This is not the “rwde community” looking to tear RWBY to shreds ever since Monty died or whatever bullshit excuses you keep coming up with everytime ppl critique this cartoon

My past two years say the exact opposite and what should I trust: my instincts or a liar?

This is the fact that REAL LGBT people watch this show; real NON-WHITE people watch this show; real WOMEN watch this show, and WOMEN are the literal lead characters of this show. But those parts of the audience wind up disappointed with the lack of care, consideration, or prioritization in this weak-ass writing, where only the art and animation salvage it.

Heh...

Then why are some of the most prominent fans of the community LGBT, Non-white and/or women? I mean, surely if this was handled so poorly they wouldn’t be so prominent. Unless of course, the issue isn’t with the show but a certain group of people with a similar thought process (that being “If it doesn’t pander to me, it’s bigotry!.’)

Diversity isn’t a fucking myth like you think just because you have less social aptitude than a fucking rock, or because you refuse to interact with anyone that isn’t the same as you.

Says the woman who rejects other LGBT/non white people for not thinking exactly like her.

Monty was GENTLY asked in a post-show interview if there’d be LGBT+ rep in RWBY, and he confirmed yes. That was 2014.

And he also fucked over his own show numerous times. He wasn’t exactly a good writer so him saying that would have probably resulted in a ham fisted, out of place moment of gay angst that would never be mentioned ever again.

What Miles Luna, Kerry Shawcross, and Gray Haddock have done, instead of giving us a named PROTAGONIST character to be the first instance of that rep, they made the first openly gay character a VILLAIN. (no, Matte Sky does not count bc the VOICE ACTOR named them, not the creators)

You mean the single sympathetic villain who would later get a redemption arc among the other straight villians who are portrayed as irredeemable and monstrous *cough* ADAM *cough*.

Oh no, how terrible. You get a complex and well written character instead of the edgelord.

Nothing is groundbreaking about that trash. LGBT+ historians and fandoms have noted that in the media, villains were portrayed as gay, trans, or implied as such for YEARS. (it’s called “queercoding”)

And that’s called ‘bullshit’ because coding is only ever brought up in subjective ways.

Not only that: You were never promised something GROUND BREAKING. Show me where it was said that.

Monty was GENTLY asked by fans at a convention when more brown characters would be in RWBY. He confirmed that Sun and Velvet have “cool” dark-skinned teammates. That was 2013. (after an animation panel at Supanova)

So no, this isn’t just “rabid tumblrinas” hounding the creators for the sake of being special snowflakes like you fucking think. These are real fucking people who love the soul of this show but don’t actually SEE THEMSELVES IN IT. And Monty, rest his soul, was so excited and earnest in wanting to be inclusive so this show could be shared and loved by more people.

Yeah and Miles and Kerry get death threats over this. That was proven in 2018. I could not care less.

And here’s the deal: If you cannot relate to a character because they do not share the same skin color as you, you do not DESERVE a character to relate to. Because creators are suppose to make compelling characters and skin color is NOT COMPELLING. Expecting me to find a character compelling because they are white is honestly INSULTING to me.

But the fact is that it’s not as inclusive as it could be. Even when he was alive, he made missteps too. And it’s not even like it’d be a big deal to fix. But hateful people go out of their way EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. to make it seem like it’d be such a lorebreaking addition to make a character brown, gay, or trans.

The fact that ‘it’s not as inclusive as it could have be’ is a flaw shows you do not actually care about the show. Because you care SO LITTLE about the show actually being good you try to prioritize something COMPLETELY DIVORCED from quality above all else.

And no one wanted them to just do it because it was not the right fucking time or place. Imagine a character in Berserk went off on a tangent about how gay they are. That’d be pretty cringy right? Now think of that same thing in MHA. Not even bad now is it? Because one is not built to support this and the other CAN support it.

Honestly, the way they handled Illa, from a purely writing standpoint, is the best way they could have gone about it. It’s used to emphasize her pain with Blake and quickly takes a backburner for Illa’s more personal and universal issues. They showed it was athing before moving onto more pressing matters.

It makes absolutely ZERO SENSE how a FANTASY REALM can be lacking so much variety in terms of its inhabitants. And Diversity is an AFTERTHOUGHT. Or a “lorebreaker” (remember the homophobic “how would you show gay characters? just have them make out during the chaos? That’d make no sense!” argument? Fun times!!!)

Damn near every single piece of fanart about Illa emphasizes her being gay, apparently that was an informed guess on their part. And honestly ticks me off since Illa is so much more than that.

How many times do we have to sift through the garbage comments on fanart (FAN ART!!!) of Blake being portrayed as black, as if that’s some huge leap from what she could have represented in the first place?

Representation doesn't matter here, it's the fact that these designs usually look like shit because the people making don’t care about good character design and use dark skin on a design that is built around light skin. It’s like if someone made a light skinned Emerald-it would look fucking awful.

How many times do ppl turn a blind eye to femslash fanart of team RWBY but suddenly complain when someone mentions the notion of one of the characters in team RWBY actually being canonically gay? Or bi? Or pan? Anything outside or in-between?

Never. I have literally never seen that happened. I’ve seen people be called homophobic for shipping straight ships before I say this.

Hateful people are like “u should be thankful” when they’re having a buffet of representation and we only get, not just breadcrumbs, but moldy ones that the ants are crawling on. Then, when we make our own stuff to satisfy us (again: FAN ART! FANFIC! HEADCANONS!!!) they’re suddenly so defensive and wanna police our shit???

A. Nobody has ever just eaten certain foods because of their color,

B. You actively REFUSE to accept any character that isn’t EXACTLY like you and proceed to try to hurt REAL PEOPLE over this. Mold crumbs with ants on them is more than you deserve, honestly STRAVATION is more than you deserve.

C. Making fanart and fanfics that are fundamentally WORSE than canon and calling it ‘fixed’ or ‘improved’ like these people always do is insulting. You are actively pissing people off.

Oh and D. I have seen people ATTACK OTHERS over them not following their headcanons.

RWBY’s first dark-skinned character was a villain. That’s not representation, that reinforces racist beliefs that black people are thugs and thieves that can’t be trusted and need to be put down.

Yes, a dark skinned character with understandable motives, symapethic beliefs and conflcits about her actions.

Meanwhile, the white guy Adam is portrayed as an edgelord monster who seeks genocide and talks like a Nazi.

RWBY’s first openly GAY character is a villain. That’s NOT representation. That reinforces homophobic beliefs that lesbians are predatory temptresses that seduce your daughters and sisters to lead them down a path of hellfire and brimstone.

Yes, the sympathetic lesbian who has shown more love and care and respect for Blake than her straight abusive boyfriend.

Adam pretty much exists to DISPROVE your shit on this front. All the bullshit you complain about in Illa ACTUALLY EXISTS in Adam except WORSE.

RWBY has been making transphobic jokes since volume 1 (Penny’s “*gasp* Is she a man?” reference to Blake) Those jokes reinforce the transphobic belief that trans people wear disguises to bait unassuming people so that they can harm them eventually.

A. Name me a single trans person who said that, let alone enough people for me to even consider that.

And B. Adam is cisgendered and a genocidial Nazi. Good luck beating that.

It’s not rocket science. Rooster Teeth’s animated show, “RWBY” has a problem not just with it’s writing, but with diversity. Pure and simple. And this show has had since 2014 to improve. But you’re still surprised that some of us are fucking mad.

And yet every single example you gave not only doesn’t work but would set a standard for STRAIGHT WHITE PEOPLE to complain about their representation.

You and everyone in RWDE are mad because you WANT to be mad. It justifies the immoral bullshit you pull on a daily basis...

Huh, exactly like Adam.

Guess you guys ARE represented after all. And quite accurately.

#nerdgasrnz

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ankhlesbian · 7 years

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FE Femslash Week 2018: Day 7

Prompt: None

Fandom: Fire Emblem Fates

Ship: Mitama/Soleil

Title: Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue

AO3 Link: Here

Mitama agrees to go on a date with Soleil under one condition: She must first bring her an original poem that meets her standards.

“Mitama! I want to court you!” Soleil declares, pointing dramatically at said teen. Mitama looks up from her writing and stares blankly back at her.

“Pray tell, what would this entail?” Soleil flashes a grin, gesturing emphatically with her hands as she replies.

“I’d bring you flowers and gifts! Homemade pastries, fresh roses, stuffed animals, the whole five yards. I’ll stand wistfully outside your window, reciting heartfelt poetry to make you swoon.” Mitama taps her quill against her lips thoughtfully.

“Poetry, you say? I shall accept your offer, under one condition.” Soleil bursts out into happy cheering before she can finish speaking. Mitama clears her throat. Soleil snaps her mouth closed and mimes locking it shut, throwing the invisible key away behind her shoulder.

“To me you must bring / An original poem / To earn a first date.” She bounces on her toes, saluting eagerly.

“You won’t know what hit you!” She promises, dashing out of Mitama’s room so she can get started. She’s halfway back to her own room when she realizes a major problem with that request. The last time she tried to read a poem to a girl, she had been laughed away and had promptly burnt the cursed thing to ashes. She’s going to need assistance, or Mitama’s going to never want to see her ever again.

“Ophelia!” She wails, knocking on the mage’s door furiously. There’s no response, so she presses her ear against the door to listen for any sign of life. It’s possible Ophelia’s out, but she can always just wait here.

The door swings inwards and Soleil stumbles forward. Ophelia raises an unimpressed eyebrow at her.

“I take it you want something from me?”

It’s kind of embarrassing to be figured out so quickly. Soleil clutches at her chest, eyes filling with sorrow.

“You wound me, dear Ophelia! I can visit my bestest friend whenever I want with no ulterior motives whatsoever.” Ophelia crosses her arms.

“I am always willing to provide my assistance to the less gifted, but I cannot help if you do not tell me what it is you seek.” Soleil sighs.

“Mitama said she’ll date me-”

“Congratulations! You’re pining was becoming insufferable.” Ophelia interrupts, eyes sparkling with mirth. Soleil scowls and elbows her.

“But I need to impress her with a poem first. You like books and scrolls and stuff, yeah? So you can help me write one!” Ophelia purses her lips.

“It is true that my Chosen status blesses me with an unprecedented way with words….” Soleil clasps her hands together and gives Ophelia her best puppy dog-eyes.

“Oh, alright. Stop it with the pathetic look, and let’s get writing!” Soleil hugs her tightly.

Within a few hours, they manage to come up with a draft of a poem. Soleil knew that Mitama liked to write haikus, and Ophelia assured her that they could easily write something that fit that format.

It isn’t even dinner time when they finish. Soleil stares uneasily at the piece of parchment in her hand.

“Do you really think this will work?” Ophelia pats her on the shoulder reassuringly.

“If not, we can just write another one.” Soleil takes a deep breath.

“Alright. I’m off, then.” She leaves before Ophelia can attempt to cast a good luck charm on her. The past few times she did all turned out disastrous.

She finds Mitama lounging near a practice field, her staff resting idly in her lap.

“You completed a poem so quickly?”

“You come up with them on the spot all the time. I may not be as good at them as you, but I’ve got charm and determination to make up for it!”

Mitama gestures for her to begin. Soleil unwraps the scrap of paper that she’d nervously crumbled while searching for Mitama and smooths it out. She can’t bring herself to look Mitama in the eye while reading it, which is really for the better since she doesn’t have the thing memorized.

“It’s a haiku,” she explains before clearing her throat. “Maiden born under heaven’s stars / Healing innocents of ravaged lands from afar-” Mitama whacks her on the head with her staff. The paper flutters to the ground as Soleil clutches the lump on her head pathetically.

“That was not a haiku. And it wasn’t even written by you.” Soleil deflates.

“How’d you know?”

“Vocabulary / Unique to only a few / Among them not you.”

“I consulted Ophelia,” she admits. “I figured she’d be better at writing poems than me. I’m rubbish with artsy stuff like that.”

Mitama stands up, waving her staff as a second thought, healing the bruise she caused.

“Do not overthink this. However, it wasn’t the worst first try I’ve ever seen. Effort expended / A reward to encourage / Future endeavors.”

Soleil cocks her head in confusion. Mitama places her staff under Soleil’s chin and tilts it upwards, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek.

“After one that meets my standards, we can get tea. I’m off to bed now. Slumber beckons me forth.” Soleil gapes at her as she leaves. Mitama really does like her back! That just means she needs to step things up in the poem department. She needs to pull out the big-boy tomes. Consult people close to Mitama, and then do something of her own.

This time, she’s going to hunt down Shigure.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Shigure covers a laugh with his hand when she tells him about Mitama’s challenge.

“You’re her brother,” she continues, undaunted. “Surely you know what she’d like.” He takes a moment to think.

“You could try singing to her. She always tells me that singing is its own form of poetry, and it would show creativity.” Soleil considers it. She’s far from the world’s greatest singer, but maybe Mitama will appreciate her willingness to embarrass herself.

“Do you have a song I could use? I’ll pay you back somehow, I swear.” Shigure smiles softly.

“I know just the thing. And don’t worry.” His smile grows wider, scarily wider. “As long as you make her happy, you don’t need to do a thing.” The aura he’s giving off promises terrible things in her future if she doesn’t. She salutes, too frightened to speak. He turns away to rummage through his desk.

“Here. I sung this to her all the time before bed when we were children.” Soleil takes it and examines it closely. Theoretically, she knows how to read sheet music. She can make this work.

The next morning, Soleil heads to Mitama’s room bright and early. It’s easy to get up early when you didn’t sleep. She’d spent all night practicing, and needs to perform before she forgets it all. She rounds the final corner only to trip, her face smashing right into the stone ground. Her hands come away from her nose streaked with red, which she immediately tries to rub off on her pants.

“I am awakened / Fortuitous accident / Good morning to you.”

The thing she tripped over was Mitama, who mumbled out her haiku while still curled up on the ground. Soleil turns to face her. This is her chance.

“I hope you’re ready for this. Listen up!” She doesn’t have paper to stare at this time, so she focuses on the wall behind where Mitama’s sprawled. She’s sure her voice is out of tune, she knows she can’t keep up the rhythm of the song, but she gives it her best shot. When she finishes, her voice is dry and raspy from the effort.

“How was that one? Mitama?” She looks back at her and…. She’s asleep. “Mitama!” The only response is a snore. Soleil sweatdrops. Well, that was a bust. She wipes the remaining blood from her nose and pokes at it, glad it’s not broken, then sits in silence, just watching Mitama. It dawns on her that this is probably a little creepy.

She gets to her feet, ready to go crash herself, but something stops her. Mitama’s still in the clothes she saw her in yesterday, meaning she’s probably been here since before dinner. Even though Mitama can sleep anywhere, the floor can’t be comfortable.

Soleil crouches down and hooks one arm under Mitama’s knees, the other around her shoulders, and lifts. She staggers the last few steps to Mitama’s room, but the bridal-carry doesn’t leave her hands free for door-opening. Instead, she kicks the thankfully unlocked door open. There’s some clutter on the floor, including, bizarrely, a couple of swords.

She makers her way to Mitama’s bed and sets her down gently. She pulls up the sheets to Mitama’s chin and combs her hair out of her face before withdrawing. She’s already turned away when a hand grasps at her shirt. Mitama’s looking at her blearily through one eye.

“I give you my thanks / A lullaby so peaceful / Made sleep’s grip too strong.” Soleil feels her lips turn upwards. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about her singing. She takes Mitama’s hand in hers, and she knows exactly what move to make to charm the pants off Mitama right now. She kisses the back of Mitama’s hand before returning it to the bed, and then leans over her to kiss her forehead.

“Next time I’ll have one that keeps you wide awake,” she promises before taking her leave. She’s ready to crash too, but she’ll do that in her own bed.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

She spends the next few days trying to think of a poem that Mitama’ll like, that expresses how she feels about it. She doesn’t know if there’s any words out there that can capture that, but she has to try something.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. She loves her dad, she really does, but he’s not the best at wooing ladies. But, he did manage to win over her mom, so he must have some wisdom to impart.

He nods sagely as she explains.

“You need to do this yourself.” She goes to interrupt, and he holds up a hand to stop her. “You’re my darling daughter. I’d listen to you even if you were talking about the most boring topic on the earth. It’s the same principle. She just wants to hear something from your heart, even if it isn’t a top quality poem.” It makes perfect sense.

“You’re the best!” She latches onto him for a hug. He returns it fondly.

“Anytime, sweetheart. Now go make Daddy proud!” He flashes her a grin and a thumbs up.

She doesn’t bother with paper this time, and heads straight for Mitama’s room.

She knocks on the door boldly, standing at her full (unimpressive) height.

Mitama opens it and smiles. Her hair is sticking everywhere, like she was just napping. The sight makes Soleil’s heart weak.

“My hair is pink / Your hair is blue / I’m crap at poems / But I like you / Let’s go on a date / It’ll be great! / We can drink tea / Just you and me.” She goes silent. Mitama lights up, eyes sparkling, and claps.

“Absolutely delightful! A poem so heartfelt / I cannot help but agree / We should be girlfriends.” Soleil grabs her hands and squeezes them tightly.

“I can’t believe that worked,” she confesses. Mitama swings their hands between them.

“I will admit to mostly wanting to see you splutter.” Soleil fakes a scowl.

“Rude!”

“You’re awfully cute when you blush.” Soleil goes red.

“Ah, yes. Just like that. Now, what were you saying about tea?”

Soleil knows the perfect place, in a town not too far from their base’s current exit portal.

“They’ve got an open floor for poetry and fiction reading tonight.”

“Then let us make haste.”

Soleil turns to lead the way, tugging Mitama’s hands along with her. It’s going to be the best first date ever.

#fefemslashweek #mitama (fe)#mitama #soleil #soleil (fe)#soleil/mitama #mitama/soleil #it writes

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officialmaleclibrary · 7 years

Photo

This month we’re showcasing an author in the fandom who has written popular works such as Your touch is contagious and forces on the heart. Mel is on ao3 as melbopo and tumblr as @mel-iorn, and we’d like to thank her once again for taking part in the OML author showcase!

1. When did you start writing fics? Tell us a little of your journey as a fic writer.

Ho Boy! I started writing fics in middle school but I didn’t know I was writing fanfics to be honest. I am pretty sure I started with writing Jonas Brothers fanfics (that were self insert sometimes?) when I was like 12 or 13 years old. Then I sort of left the world of writing fics after about a year and entered the world of online role playing (wizarding world of Harry Potter and some original mythical worlds) for a couple of years because it had that creative writing that I love. Then I stopped writing characters or rping for many years (a combination of poor self esteem, mental health issues, and not feeling connected anymore to fandom spaces). Then in college I was finally in a safe environment that let me examine myself, my interests, and I embraced this nerdy side of myself. So I re-discovered fanfiction. And as I was reexamining all these aspects of me, including my sexuality, I began to notice a big gap in femslash fanfiction and that is ultimately what brought me back to writing. I wanted to write stories for people like me, passionate about characters they already related to and with a desire to see these characters in relatable (if maybe unrealistic) scenarios. In a world where there are so few out LGBT+ characters in books and media, creating content that depicts us as we are: beautiful, important, valid, and worth writing about is really, truly healing. I started writing fanfiction again at the same time I was finally learning to accept my sexual orientation and the process has been really helpful for me to fully embrace being queer.

2. What fic of yours are you most proud of and why?

I think the fics that I am most proud of are my two opening fics for my Handful of Days of Magnus Bane because I’m really proud of my characterization of Magnus (which still isn’t perfect), who is one of my favorite characters but someone I struggle to write in a way I think he deserves. I also love my two universes of forces on the heart (Malec and Mizzy) and never say never (Jimon) because I love alternate universes and exploring how the characters would react in them.

3. Who is your favorite character to write and why? Which character do you find the most challenging to write?

My favorite character to write is Simon to be honest because it feels the most genuine for me. I’ve always felt really connected to Simon so I feel like I write him in character the best. He also has this nervous ramble habit that I love to use to touch upon important topics.

I think Canon Magnus specifically is difficult for me to write because there are so many nuances to him that I tend to feel like I’m always just a little bit off which really annoys me because he is also one of my favorite characters for that very reason. I do reference a lot of meta posts on tumblr for writing Magnus which definitely helps but I think I just need to practice with more introspection fics.

4. What is the hardest part about being a fic author? The easiest?

For me, the hardest part about being a fic author is not just actually writing the words on the page but asking for feedback. I know I’m not an amazing writer but I struggle to ask people to beta/edit my fics in a way that gives me constructive criticism back so that I can improve and be a better writer. On one hand I really crave that sort of helpful editing/soundboarding but on the other hand, I’m hesitant to ask people to take time out of their day to read something they might not like as well as be truly honest with me (aka not just be nice and fluffy even though I do appreciate support!).

The easiest part of being a fic author for me has to be coming up with alternate universe fic - if you look in my collection, it’s 90% of what I write. I am always getting ideas of different scenarios or words to place characters. I also find making graphics for my fics relatively easy and something I like to do (even though if I do a graphic before I finish the fic, I’ll never finish the fic…).

5. What inspires you? Where do you find your muse?

Honestly, this is a little corny but I’m inspired by my life and my friends (in real life and online) most often. Writing is an important outlet for me because creativity is really important to me and my mental well being. I write to share stories I have inside of me and share lessons that I have learned (or I am still in the process of learning). Knowing that I have friends that support me and encourage me to write (regardless of if they read what I write or not), really pushes me as well. Also knowing that other people are connecting with and enjoying my stories with their ao3 comments or tumblr tags can also re-energize my muse.

6. Do you write original content as well as fic?

I actually just had my first inspiration for an original story (a folklore piece) this year which is really exciting for me! I’m probably going to adapt it to a Shadowhunters Maia x Izzy fic instead but it was exciting to have that bit of original character inspiration! For original content, I do write poetry occasionally actually!

7. Do you have a favorite fic from another author?

I have to be honest, I am so so behind in fics that I want to read (it’s embarrassing and sad!) but some of my favorite writers I have queued up to read include works from these tumblrs: francy @hufflebee’s mine and charl @lightwoodlesbians and elle’s @magnusragnor Days of Dark !

8. What’s something you’re looking forward to in the upcoming season of Shadowhunters?

LORENZO!!! I love Javi already and can’t wait to see what kind of difficulty he is going to make for Magnus as well as seeing more Luke and Maia interactions now that Alisha is a main character! I’m scared for my love Simon and hope he’s okay.

9. Can you give us a sneak peek to what you’re writing next? Or at least any hints to what’s to come?

Currently I’m working on my first chaptered Shadowhunters fic! I’m honestly really excited about it because it touches upon coming out stories, found families, sexuality exploration, and the Lightwood siblings’ bond. I mostly wrote it for myself and to push myself to attempt Nano but it’s be a really rewarding process. It’s called a rainbow colored corner of the world so keep a look out for that (if it sounds interesting to you!) - I’m using the tag rainbow colored corner on tumblr if anyone wants to stay up to date! Down the line I already have some more fics planned/outlined that include: Shadowhunters 99, farm folklore, and high school reunions!

10. Do you have advice for anyone who might be interested in writing fan fiction?

I’d say if you have a story you want to share that isn’t harmful, then absolutely go for it! You only get better at writing by actually writing. And if you want to share a story that makes you question if it is harmful or offensive in anyway, maybe ask yourself why you want to share this specific story and really examine that answer.

11. Does writing energize or exhaust you? Why?

Honestly, writing does a bit of both. When I’m writing a scene I’m really excited about or I think touches about some really important topics, I feel so energized and that feels carries over when I finish it. But if I’m writing a scene that I don’t really have planned out but I know some important plot points should be included, then I feel drained as I try to drag it out and just force something out. I am really bad at just writing to write because I am bad at going back to edit my work. So part of why writing can be exhausting for me is that I obsess too much over making sure I am saying exactly what I want to say instead of writing down the bare minimum and knowing I will go back and make it better. I think it ties in with my issue with asking for feedback/a beta because I feel like I have to catch these errors or wordings while I’m writing since I don’t like rereading my own work.

#melbopo #author showcase #shadowhunters

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ncruuk · 7 years

Note

Get to know the author: 6, 19, 24 & 25.

In non-sequential order because I’m contrary like that *g*....and because they were a great selection of questions.... so not only is there a ‘keep reading’ line but some of the answers have footnotes.....

Thank you for the great questions - I’ve had an agonising interesting evening trying to come up with the answers!

19: When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline etc.?

Honestly? I don’t… I just think and write. And think some more. I know I probably should have lists and outlines and the like. I’ve tried few apps and programmes but never manage to actually get going with one.

I’m not very good at writing stuff down generally - by the time I got to university I couldn’t really write for very long, so my notes during lectures were virtually non-existent compared to my fellow students (back in the days of longhand note-taking in lectures). Two sides of A4 (UK speak for a decent sized piece of notepaper) was about my limit for a 1 hour lecture when others would be 4+ sides. I ended up dictating all my exam scripts*. Suffice to say, I hadn’t exactly written out many revision notes or mock essay answers either…

I am fascinated by people who do plan/outline/draft things, fascinated in the same way I am by people who can produce fabulous craft projects or complex cooking concoctions or dance etc. To me, it’s a completely separate and distinct activity to story telling and writing….and one for which I have the writing equivalent of two left feet!

*You think turning over the exam paper, reading questions and thinking I have no idea what to put on this blank piece of paper is bad, try sitting in a little room on your own with your exam paper, your amanuensis (willing volunteer to write to your dictation) and an invigilator...in silence because you have no idea what to answer with, the amanuensis sitting there pen poised, waiting for you to speak…

24: Have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

I’m not sure I’d call myself an ‘expert’ on anything, including all the topics I’ve supposedly studied academically or use on a day to day basis professionally…. But I certainly would never have done any of the following in the last couple of years had I not been writing in my current two fandoms of choice (Dr Who (for the Kate/Osgood) and Holby City (for the Bernie/Alex) - I’ll let you play guess the story that required each area of reading *g*:

Studied the Queen’s Regulations (the UK Military equivalent of the US Uniform Code of Military Justice and so forth)

Read about the protocols for traumatic limb amputation by first responders outside the hospital ED environment

Studied Swiss Railway timetables and customs regulations for the importation of dairy products

Read up on the step-by-step approach needed to extubate a patient, including the UK/US differences in preferred angle to have the patient at for the procedure

Read about the Curiosity Rover SAM and how/why it ‘sings’

Got to grips with what the VLT is, what the GMT will be, why the E-ELT is going to be cool but not as cool as the OWL would have been had it been affordable enough to construct…

Various bits of quantum and particle physics, inorganic and organic chemistry, what exobiology is (vs what I thought it should be given how cool it sounds…)

25: copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

Captain Janet Fraiser was a medical doctor and commissioned Air Force Officer. An exceptional student, both of medicine and the military, she had advanced far up the ranks of both bodies quickly, achieving far more than her career lengths would at first suggest. Her current posting, to the Centre for Disease Control in New York, was testament to her expertise in this area. Highly infectious, often unknown diseases were this lady's speciality, making her a highly valued physician, not only to her fellow medical staff, but also to the military. In short, the perfectly formed, diminutive frame that housed the vibrant personality and phenomenal intellect that was a world class doctor and scientist, as well as being a model officer, was an academic and military force to be reckoned with.

Is it my ‘best’ writing? No.

Is it my most ‘popular’ writing? Not by a long shot - in fact, I’m probably the only person who remembered it exists, and even then I couldn’t remember it word for word. It’s not even finished, I can’t really remember where the story was supposed to go, nor can I read much of what comes after that first paragraph without cringing at some point. And I certainly can’t remember the specific moment that I posted it, although the Yahoo Group I posted it in tells me it was almost 14 years ago.

It is, however, the bravest I have ever been in the context of fanfiction writing, and therefore the paragraph I’m particularly proud of.

That ordinary introductory paragraph to a long forgotten SG1 WIP is, after a quick bit of (rather terrifying) arithmetic, words 3-130 of what is now about 1,150,000 ish words** of posted (so I can’t fiddle with it any more) fanfiction.

Had it not been for that paragraph (and the ones that followed it) and the kindness of the writers and readers in that Yahoo Group who didn’t laugh or flame but quietly encouraged, I wouldn’t have believed I could write something worth reading, wouldn’t have carried on writing, discovering a multitude of characters over the intervening years who had stories I wanted to read if only I’d just write them down first.

** Seriously, and I scared myself. Thanks to AO3 I think I can roughly pinpoint my 1,000,000th word as being somewhere in the first few chapters of ‘Boiler or Helicopter? It’s a Matter of Perspective’. In the process, I’ve also realised I’ve still got some of my ‘favourite’ fics to round up from their various scattered homes across the internet and dump into AO3 so they’re easier to find and reread. Ho hum.

6: Something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now?

Early 1995.

They’re the first 2 words of the fic that is my answer to the previous question. Because right from the beginning of my fic writing, I’ve latched onto the big idea with the long establishing backstory that I have to write in order to give my characters a proper foundation to stand on for the actual story. It’s far too late (see previous answer re words written) to correct this habit, but boy is it making life complicated… I can’t begin to imagine all the different ideas and half thoughts I could have had room for in my ‘fic plotting brain’ if I’d not lumbered myself with writing epics…...

[For context, the wonderful website ‘Passion and Perfection’ which was my first femslash website haven as both a reader and a writer used to run a writing challenge called ‘Epic Proportions’ for stories >20,000. ⅓ of the stories I’ve written since rediscovering my writing for the most recent time two years ago would have qualified for that challenge. Who knows what stories I might have discovered if I’d been a drabble expert....]

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femslashrevolution · 8 years

Text

I Am Femslash by SETI-fan

This post is part of Femslash Revolution’s I Am Femslash series, sharing voices of F/F creators from all walks of life. The views represented within are those of the author only.

I was very surprised and touched to find out I’d been suggested as a femslash writer by readers to contribute something for this celebration, especially since I came out so late in the game, relatively. So, I decided that might be a topic worth discussing in itself: the role of femslash in my long journey to discovering who I was.

I read and see so many stories about lgbt+ individuals coming out in their teens or early twenties and knowing early on they were “different”. My situation wasn’t nearly so straightforward. I didn’t figure out how I identified until I was nearly thirty, and even then it still took some self-analysis to piece out what I wanted. This process was made a lot more complex than it should have been thanks to one particular speed bump:

My physical sex drive didn’t kick in until I was about twenty-eight. Nothing is medically wrong with me as far as I can tell, I just always was a late-bloomer, physically, socially, and apparently in this respect too. Don’t get me wrong, I had crushes in high school, but they were of a very PG-13 variety. I thought kissing could be fun and longed to hold hands and have sweet dates like I saw in the movies and TV shows, but when it came to the idea of sex? Ugh. I actually remember crying as a pre-teen when my mom gave me The Talk and explained that’s what happened. I had never had anything bad happen, it’s just like some part of me already noped out of that from day one.

(In retrospect, I’m very grateful I didn’t end up with any of the guys I crushed on in high school. Younger me…didn’t have the best taste and liked the idea of rehabilitating a “bad” guy with a good heart. Yes. I was that cliché. Thank you, life, for saving me from myself.)

Anyway, so in high school I wasn’t ready and in undergrad I was so preoccupied with school, work, and family drama at home that relationships weren’t a priority I thought much about. By grad school, I finally started feeling ready to give dating a bit more priority, but the old road block was still there.

Sex still didn’t sound remotely appealing. In fact, in many ways, it sounded repulsive.

I started thinking that I just hadn’t found the right person. I figured if the emotional side was there, then the physical side probably follow. If I really loved the guy, maybe that made the rest happen more naturally, or at the very least maybe I could at the very least tolerate sex if I didn’t end up enjoying it particularly. After all, I definitely found some guys handsome and had great emotional connections and blushing feelings with some. Maybe that could develop into more. The few unsatisfying dates and unrequited crushes I had didn’t get me any closer to wanting to explore that option, though.

Now, as this internal debate had been going on, my mom came out as a lesbian and I started acknowledging that option as being out there. I knew I had aesthetic appreciation for both men and women, I knew I tended to pay more attention to female characters in fandom than male ones and didn’t tend to go crazy over the actors everybody else did, but without the physical desire to reinforce things, I couldn’t tell where the line was drawn between just interest and attraction. But I quietly opened my mind to the possibility maybe I was a little bit bi, or at least okay with the idea that whoever I fell in love with could be in any gender’s body. I started getting flirted with by girls at conventions, and was flattered and intrigued, but nowhere near ready to take that step and actually make a non-straight move.

So how does all of this tie in with femslash? Because it was ultimately fandom that led me to a better understanding of what I wanted.

While I had kind of jokingly enjoyed a few slash ships in the past, the first one I actually seriously shipped was Princess Bubblegum and Marceline on Adventure Time. It started the same way I had with past non-canon slash pairings, “man you can find interpretations of scenes to make any pairing work with a bit of creativity”, but then the show actually was going there and it worked for these characters and I was in. The fandom was gifted with talented writers and artists who took the little hints and allusions the show slipped past network regulations and built gorgeous backstories and complex relationships for these two.

Unlike many people in fandom, I avoided smutfic in general. (See again my feelings of revulsion about sex.) But when writers I knew and enjoyed included scenes like that in their Bubbline fics, I stopped skimming past them and decided to go with it because their storytelling overall was so good. And then I started reading purely smut stories by writers I liked. And a little voice in my mind started saying, “So that’s what everyone’s been talking about all this time.” Suddenly, instead of thinking “don’t want to do that, ugh, maybe could tolerate that”, I was thinking “I’d try that, that sounds cool, ooh I want to try that…”

I’d never wanted to try anything before.

Around twenty-eight years old, the physical side of attraction finally kicked in, likely helped along by the coaxing in these stories, and to my great surprise, it only kicked in for girls (and a range of nonbinary situations that are more case-by-case since I dig androgyny too, but I’m going to oversimplify a bit here before this becomes an even bigger essay since the focus is femslash). I’ve tried reading straight erotica and felt the same lack of appeal. I can still find guys handsome and imagine kissing or cuddling with them and enjoying emotional relationships, but when it comes to going any farther than that, I recoil.

But suddenly it was like I was given permission to let in the feelings that, when I think back over my younger life, were honestly there all along, just muted and unrecognized. Heteronormativity, yes, but made harder by the lack of a sex drive too. The signs were there, I just didn’t have the libido to reinforce what I was thinking and give it that full meaning. Femslash let me tentatively explore that world before I was ready to take the first steps toward actually asking out or accepting an invitation from a woman in real life. Baby steps into allowing myself to feel those things.

And then the new Ghostbusters and Holtzmann hit me like a ton of bricks and I’ve pretty much just leapt off the cliff at this point, cheering all the way down. (Huge appreciation and apology to my best friend who’s had to put up with me turning into a teenager at thirty-one and tolerated my fangirling patiently. I’m leveling out some, I promise.)

Femslash opened that door in a way no other erotic fics or content ever had before. It’s stories about female sexuality written by women, for women. It was a perspective I hadn’t encountered before (especially since I wasn’t going to talk with my mom about her own personal experiences that way and the only other gay people I knew were men). It included women my own age talking about coming out later and discovering yourself and negotiating female-female relationships. And there are so many writers using it as a way to expose young and/or inexperienced readers to important concepts on healthy relationships, like navigating when mental illnesses affect one or both partners. Or how to communicate through emotional times and express your needs without shutting down and distancing from each other. Or even just the safe ways to explore kinks and how to provide aftercare and discuss boundaries and consent. God, the inclusion in some of these stories of how communication and consent don’t take a thing away from the passion and sensuality of the moment is incredible and should be part of every young person’s education on how to be a good sexual partner. I know not every fic is written to be realistic and healthy, nor should they be, but it’s so nice to see people using the medium to provide healthy role models as well, not just pornographic fantasy.

So yeah, I’m still at the beginning of my journey into embracing this new development and find someone to have a real-world relationship with, but the door is open now and I’m finally comfortable exploring those interests and I feel like I’m not going into this world completely blind and naïve. And I finally want to pursue a relationship like that instead of vaguely dreading it and hoping things work out okay. I don’t have to settle. I know I can find happiness and experience a physical relationship to its fullest. Femslash did that for me. I’m sure it’s done that for a lot of other young women. Hopefully most didn’t have to wait as long as I did to find that peace with who they were and what they wanted in life.

About the author:

I’m a biology teacher, writer, and artist who first experienced fandom as a 12-year-old obsessed with Star Wars and joined the internet fandom at 15, back at the turn of the millennium. I’ve been writing fics (under this same screenname) ever since and think I’m finally starting to get decent at it.

http://seti-fan.tumblr.com http://archiveofourown.org/users/SETI_fan/ https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2430050/SETI-fan

#seti fan #I Am Femslash #Femslash February #Femslash February 2017 #Type: Meta #submission

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banshee-cheekbones · 8 years

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title: right where we belong [ao3: here]

fandom: Preacher

main pairing: Emily Woodrow/Tulip O’Hare

rating: m, for sexual content

word count: ~3000

written for: Femslash February, the ‘domesticity’ square on my FemTrope Bingo Card, and for the Femslash February Celebrates Black Women' event!

summary: Tulip O'Hare possesses a long, long list of talents and skills (some more illicit than others), but if there’s one thing she’s perfect at, it’s slotting into Emily’s life like she was meant to be there from day one.

If there's one thing that Tulip O'Hare is good at, it's making amazing microwave popcorn.

Of course, that's far from her only talent; in the months that have passed since Tulip whirled into Emily's life with all the grace and fury of a tornado, she's demonstrated that she's in possession of a long, long list of impressive skills. There are some that Emily thinks she'd rather not know about; like how Tulip can drive 110 while simultaneously thumbing away on her cellphone, how she can snap a man's wrist clean through his skin with one swift movement, how she can nurture a vampire back to health with nary a grimace in sight, even when her hands are soaked in animal blood.

Emily knows all of those skills are part of what makes Tulip... well, what makes her Tulip, but still. She thinks she would have been happy remaining willfully oblivious of those particular skills.

Thankfully, Tulip also possesses a number of other talents that aren't so illicit. She's surprisingly patient and tolerant with the kids, although Emily doesn't think she'll ever forgive Tulip for accidentally teaching them to curse when they stub their toe on the corner of the couch. She always manages to rustle up supplies for the church before they actually run out, and she's more than capable of picking Emily up and carrying her to bed.

(Emily is sure that looks rather ridiculous, since she's almost four inches taller than Tulip and has at least fifteen pounds on her, but she's always been too distracted to look in any of the mirrors they pass.)

She can mix drinks in only a few seconds, use her sharp tongue to tell off Jesse (or the sheriff, or Cassidy, or anyone else, for that matter) without flinching, and then use that same tongue hours later to make Emily's breath catch and toes curl.

But while all of those skills are important and valuable, after a long day of running errands for the church followed by a six hour shift at the diner, Emily values the popcorn the most.

They’re on their second bowl of the night, and Emily’s fingers are greasy with butter; the real stuff, not the cheap junk that comes in a plastic yellow tub, or the almost orange gunk they offer at the movies. They’re both curled up on the couch, backs resting against opposite armrests, legs entangled in the middle, the bucket resting on the dip between their knees. Tulip’s bare toes are curled against Emily’s hip, resting just underneath the hem of her orange work polo. Tulip’s still wearing the same thing she had when she blearily stumbled into Emily’s kitchen at seven o’clock in the morning; a black crop top with fringing hanging down, a baggy, ripped pair of jeans that used to be Emily’s, and a soft cloth headband to keep her dark curls pushed off her face.

There’s a black and white detective movie playing on the television, casting the room in unsteady flickering light. The volume is down low, but closed captions roll at the bottom of the screen. The movie is reaching its ending and amazingly, not one of the kids has interrupted them by asking for a glass of water or another blanket or for their sibling to stop snoring.

“You didn’t drug my kids, did you?” Emily asks teasingly during the next commercial break, absently licking a drop of butter off her finger.

“Doped them right up,” Tulip replies, grabbing a single piece of popcorn, tilting her head back, and tossing it straight into her mouth. “Nah, just read them that story they all like. Added some details of my own. They were out in five minutes.”

“They never do that for me,” Emily says, more than a little envious, as she adds master storyteller to her internal list of Tulip’s many skills.

“Maybe you ain’t doin’ the voices right.” Tulip grins at her as she slides her foot a little higher up Emily’s shirt, poking her lowest rib.

“Maybe my voices are too good for them to sleep through,” Emily retorts, a grin of her own spreading across her face. She’s still getting used to this, the easy back and forth, the teasing that never grows mean, never has some kind of hidden edge to it. It’d never been like that with her husband; he’d been a serious, stoic man, strong and rigid as a pillar of rock. He almost never laughed, only smiled when she welcomed him home.

But he’d been a good man, and she’d loved him, truly. It’d just been a different kind of love than what she has with Tulip, no better or worse.

“Whatever you say,” Tulip drawls, as the film comes back on. Emily dips her hand into the popcorn bowl and comes back with only a few kernels that are slippery with butter. She drops them back into the bowl and brings her fingers to her mouth, licking off some of the residual taste.

(She peeks behind herself first, at the hallway leading down to the kid’s rooms, just to make sure there’s no one standing there, waiting to call her out on her bad habits.)

“We out again?” Tulip asks, taking the bowl and setting it on the already cluttered coffee table.

“Yeah, but I'm fine. Two bowls is enough for one night.” Her fingers are no longer covered in butter, but they still feel gross, so she reluctantly untangles her legs from Tulip’s. “Lemme know if I miss anything important. I need to wash my hands.”

“Bet he did it,” Tulip responds, pointing to the main character, a world weary detective with a jet black suit and a constant stream of cigarette smoke curling over his shoulder. “It’s always the fucking cops.”

“You’re probably right,” Emily laughs, craning over the back of the couch to quickly press her lips against Tulip’s. When she pulls back, her lips are tingling slightly, and they continue to do so all the way to the bathroom.

She takes her time in the bathroom, scrubbing soap between her fingers and under her nails, until her hands ache from the hot water pouring over them. She towels them thoroughly and, after glancing at the overflowing hamper in the corner of the room, decides to add her work shirt and thick khakis to the top of the pile, swapping them out for a faded t-shirt and equally faded pink pajama pants. It’s far from a sexy outfit, but she’s long since given up on going out of her way to impress Tulip.

(The first few times had just ended in embarrassment, after which Tulip straight out told her there was no need to go out of her way. She was “more than perfect” just the way she was, without lace or frills or attempting something she’d read about in a magazine.

Emily thought that might have been one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to her.)

As she pads back into the hallway, she takes a moment to linger outside the kid’s rooms and listen. There’s quiet music playing from the boy’s room, presumably from their new iPad (which Tulip had showed up with one day) but other than that, not a single sound.

“They still out?” Tulip asks once Emily comes back into the living room. The television has switched to another movie, color this time, a Western if the sand swept scene is anything to go by. Tulip’s no longer sprawled out; she’s sitting up, back against the cushions, arms stretched along the back of the sofa.

“Like lights,” Emily says, sinking back into the couch. “You sure you didn’t drug them?”

“Not on purpose,” Tulip says with a lazy shrug. “Maybe they got in my trunk when I wasn’t looking.” Emily rolls her eyes, but before she can do more than drop her mouth open to speak, there’s a flurry of movement as Tulip rolls up and onto her lap, knees tucked into the cushions on either side of Emily’s waist. The flickering light of the television coronas around her head like the world’s most unsteady halo, and Emily has to resist the urge to reach out and touch it. She settles for dropping her hands to Tulip’s hips, warm and bare and soft above the frayed waistline of her jeans.

“Were you planning this?” she asks, biting her lip as Tulip slides her fingers over the crown of her head to where her hair is still pulled into a tight ponytail.

“Not exactly,” Tulip replies. “Just saw an opportunity.” Her fingers brush over the elastic and she raises an eyebrow, waiting for permission. Emily nods, carefully staying still as Tulip works the tight elastic out. She sighs with relief as her hair drops loose around her shoulders, Tulip’s combing fingers working it of the prison it’s been in all day.

“Better?” she asks, nails gently scraping down Emily’s neck. Emily nods, curling her thumbs to brush along Tulip’s waist. Her jeans have slid down low enough for the elastic of her underwear to be visible, poking out of the top, a dark stripe of black tattooed against her brown skin. She idly thumbs at it as Tulip hunches over and presses a hard kiss against her forehead.

“You’re beautiful,” she mumbles, curling one hand around the back of Emily’s neck as her mouth trails down her cheek, which immediately flushes with warmth. It’s one tiny remark, but the way Tulip says it, almost reverent, like she’s at prayer, makes Emily feel like she could spontaneously combust and be completely content with it.

She knows that they should move to the bedroom; it may be closer to the her children’s rooms, but at least there would be a locked door to shield them if anyone got up for a glass of water or to use the bathroom. Here, all it would take is a few steps down the hallway to step into the living room, and while the couch would block out something, Emily isn’t sure if it would be enough.

But it’s been over two hours, and none of the kids have come out.

It’s a risk, but she thinks that it's one worth taking.

She cranes up and meets Tulip halfway, lips curling around each other automatically, slotting together like a record and a needle. Tulip’s hand tightens on the back of her neck, and her tongue presses forward, scraping along Emily’s bottom lip and coaxing out a quiet sigh that Emily still barely recognizes as herself, even after all this time. A gunshot rings out from the television screen, and Tulip abruptly pulls away.

“Don’t think we need that right now,” she says, twisting at the hips and arching backwards until her hand snags the remote (and knocks the empty bowl of popcorn over in the process). She thumbs at the mute button and plunges the room into near silence, aside from the sound of shifting fabric as Emily moves and the very faint strains of music coming from down the hallway. When Tulip moves back, she idly plucks at the thin straps of her crop top.

“Want this off?” she asks. Emily muses for a few moments, thumbs smoothing over the thin skin stretched over Tulip’s hipbones. Having Tulip’s shirt off would make things considerably easier, but it would also make it significantly harder to explain if one of the kids happens to wander out of their room.

“Maybe not today,” she sighs reluctantly, twirling one finger around a hanging piece of fringe brushing against Tulip’s navel. Tulip just shrugs.

“Alright. I can work with that,” she says before leaning back down and returning to Emily’s lips hard enough to push her head back against the couch.

They don’t remain sitting up for long. While the light from the silent television flickers and spasms, they shift and twist until Emily is on her back, half-slumped against the armrest, her loose hair mussed around her shoulders, too-big t-shirt bunched around her ribs. When Tulip situates herself between Emily’s legs, her cloth headband slips down her forehead and over her eyes like a makeshift blindfold and, with a muttered curse, she tears it off and tosses it over the back of the couch, into the darkness of the living room.

“You know, we’re never going to find that again,” Emily says, tucking her knees tight around Tulip’s hips.

“Doesn't bother me,” Tulip says. “There’s plenty more at the dollar store where that came from.”

Emily is fairly certain that the subtext in that statement is that there’s plenty more waiting to be stolen, and she doesn't exactly condone that, but she has more important things to focus on at the moment, like how Tulip’s lips are slipping over her neck and flitting up to her jaw. Everywhere she moves, she leaves behind flushed skin, and Emily feels like she’s slowly melting from the inside out.

And that’s before Tulip speaks again.

“You’re the best thing about this town,” she says quietly, her warm breath brushing over the base of Emily’s neck, around the stretched out collar of her shirt. “The only thing worth sticking around for.” Part of Emily thinks that she should stick up for Annville, say that it has some redeeming features, but she knows that Tulip won’t listen to her.

(And, frankly, she’s not sure that she could think of any real redeeming qualities, not unless she set a few hours aside just for thinking).

Instead, she gasps softly and wraps her hand around Tulip’s shoulder, cheeks flushing like coals. Tulip’s teeth scrape gently against her collarbone before she settles back on her knees. Shadows flicker across her sharp cheekbones and jaw.

“Want me to keep going?” she asks, hands settling on the drawstring waist of Emily’s pajama pants.

“Yes,” Emily responds with a swift nod. “Please.” Tulip’s teeth press into her bottom lip and her head quickly turns to glance down the hallway towards the kid’s rooms. She only looks for a few seconds, but it feels like an eternity, and Emily finds herself squeezing her thighs together for relief from the warm heat pooling between her legs.

“You gonna be able to stay quiet for me?’ Tulip asks with a raised eyebrow, tugging Emily’s pajamas down an inch. Emily nods again. Normally, Tulip likes to hear her, whispers in Emily’s ear or against her heated skin that she can be louder, but this definitely isn't the time for that.

“I’ll be quiet,” she whispers. The room plunges into darkness for a moment as the movie fades into a commercial, and when the light floods back, Tulip is smiling at her, dark eyes sparkling.

“Good girl,” she murmurs, hooking her fingers and finally, blessedly, tugging down Emily’s pants and underwear in one swoop.

Emily has to bite back a relieved whimper.

Tulip only pauses long enough to grab a blanket from the back of the couch and drape it over her back before she curls over her knees and buries her face between Emily’s thighs. Emily’s pants and underwear are still wrapped around her ankles, which means she can’t open her legs any wider, and a frustrated groan leaves her mouth unbidden.

“Hey,” Tulip says, tone soft, as she pokes her head out from underneath the blanket. “You alright? We can move.”

“No,” Emily says, yanking one foot out of her pajamas, which gives her at least some freedom. “I’m okay. Please keep going.”

“You’ve got it, darlin'.”

The next time a noise slips from Emily’s lips, it’s the furthest thing from frustrated.

It takes her some time to catch her breath afterwards. As her chest rises and falls and spots of color flash beneath her closed eyelids, Tulip presses kisses along the curves of her trembling thighs and up to her stomach.

“You’re amazing,” Emily gasps, pulling in a deep breath of air that still smells like popcorn. She feels Tulip’s mouth twitch against her stomach as she continues moving upward, blanket falling away from her head and down her back.

“Hon, you’re the amazin' one,” Tulip says, pressing one last kiss just below the curve of Emily’s breast before she sits up on her knees. Her lips part to say something, but before a word can come out, a tiny, exhausted voice comes drifting from down the hallway.

“Mommy? Can I have some water, please?”

Emily sighs and reluctantly opens her eyes. She was hoping she’d get a chance to return the favor to Tulip before they were interrupted, but she’s not surprised that her luck didn’t turn that way. But, as she starts to sit up, Tulip stops her by gently pressing her hand to Emily’s chest.

“You stay here,” she says, leaning down and pressing her mouth against Emily’s briefly. “I’ll get her some water.” With that, she slides off the couch and disappears out of Emily’s sight, footsteps soft on the worn carpet leading down the hallway.

“Your mama’s asleep, honey. Do you want me to get you some water?”

“Yes, please.”

“Alright. Let's go together.” Emily takes that as a sign to pull her pants back up, and she’s just barely gotten herself fully clothed and hidden under the blanket when Tulip walks by, effortlessly carrying Alice on her hip like she’s been doing it since Alice was born. Tulip briefly catches her eye and smiles before continuing on her way, asking Alice quietly if she wants anything else. Emily slumps back against the couch and sighs gratefully.

Tulip O’Hare may be good at making a great bowl of microwave popcorn, but if there’s one thing she’s perfect at, it’s slotting into Emily’s life like she was meant to be there from day one.

#femslash february #ffcbw #femtropebingo #preacher fanfiction #preacher #so i'm gonna need y'all to write more femslash for this fandom #there's only like six real fics and i've written three #mine #mine: fic #emilytulip #long post #food mention cw

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catty-words · 8 years

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Buffyverse tagging meme: i was so hoping someone would tag me in this, so thanks a million @willowsrosenbergs. you’re the mvp of my heart.

top fifteen characters?

1. buffy summers 2. dawn summers (what can i say?? i love my summers girls) 3. fred burkle 4. willow rosenberg 5. rupert giles 6. faith lehane 7. lorne 8. tara maclay 9. oz 10. spike 11. cordelia chase 12. drusilla 13. charles gunn 14. xander harris 15. anya

favorite minor characters?

glory, harmony, robin wood, buffybot, clem, lilah, gwen, and phantom dennis!

ranking of favorite seasons of both shows?

oh god. but it changes all the time!

btvs: 4, 2, 5, 6, 3, 1, 7

ats: 3, 2, 1, 5, 4

top ten episodes of both shows?

i can’t believe i have to choose between my children. fine. but i’m cheating by pairing together two-part episodes.

btvs: 1. once more with feeling 2. becoming 1&2 3. restless 4. this year’s girl & who are you 5. storyteller 6. the gift 7. i only have eyes for you 8. tabula rasa 9. prophecy girl 10. fool for love

ats: 1. birthday 2. fredless 3. five by five 4. i will remember you (buffy’s involved and i’m instantly more interested tbh) 5. rm w/a vu 6. sanctuary 7. waiting in the wings 8. through the looking glass 9. there’s no place like plrtz glrb 10. smile time

ats or btvs?

btvs b t v s BTVS

least favorite main character?

angel, probably. the character just really doesn’t intrigue me

top ten ships?

1. faith & buffy 2. buffy & spike 3. fred & willow 4. willow & tara 5. willow & oz (the relationship is just super cute okay?? can’t help but love it while it’s happening) 6. giles & jenny 7. cordelia & angel 8. wesley & lilah 9. buffy & tara 10. tara & faith

do you write fanfic?

hell yeah!

what fanfic do you read?

very little in the buffy fandom, tbh.

right now i’m digging @angelandfaith‘s femslash ficlet collection (which i need to catch up on pronto). and @bisexualbuffy‘s fuffy fics are all to die for (she’s written two for me and i love her!!!!!)

when did you start watching?

january of 2014! i’ve been thinking about writing on my discovery of buffy, actually, because the show came into my life at exactly the right moment and kinda absolutely saved me.

show recommendations for buffyverse fans?

hmm, i don’t watch a lot of television. but! the only show i love as much as i love btvs is community. they’re super different, but they have the same wit and sharp writing.

do you own/collect anything related to the shows?

i have several sweatshirts and posters. i’ve gotten some figurines as gifts. my most cherished piece of buffy merch is my omwf poster.

how often will you watch an episode?

pfft. i do not watch single episodes. i will rewatch the entire show if i get a craving. it’s my way.

how many times have you watched either show all the way through?

i’ve watched ats through twice. btvs? i’ve lost count, but i’d put it around 6 or 7 times.

five unpopular opinions?

1. i love love love dawn summers (not too unpopular here on the tumblr, but definitely unpopular in general) 2. willow and faith are just as culpable as spike when it comes to nasty, terrible consent issues (i hate the sneakiness of rape in the buffyverse and if you want me to elaborate on this, just let me know. it sounds a bit stark and insensitive without the unpacked explanation) 3. joyce summers is the absolute worst 4. xander harris is an alright character 5. the kiss in enemies should not have gone on as scripted....i would have loved for faith and buffy to kiss on the mouth. but if it’d happened at that exact moment, idk. it would have felt like such a violation of buffy. i just. i don’t like how aggressive it would have been.

least favorite thing about the fandom?

the willow’s bi/willow’s a lesbian discourse. LEAVE WILLOW ALONE!!

i’m probably gonna tag some people who’ve already done it but um... @angelandfaith and @bisexualbuffy. also @bisexualcordelia, @bisexualbvffy, @bluehura, @buffster, @demandingbillydolls, and @faithandbuffy

#btvs #tag game!#rape tw

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