#and then comes the hell of revisions if i decide to post. I want to but it needs SO much work if it’s going up and it takes me twice as long

[ongreenergrasses]

i’m so close to being done with this wip wtf

[six-of-ravens]

I would really like a single office day where I don't come home and play an evening-long game of Am I The Asshole?

[undergroundbillions]

I don't know if this makes sense or sounds as inspirational as I want it to, but RARE has been one big exercise in Just Do The Thing. Just do that thing that sounds impossible! One small step at a time!

A year ago we had no idea how we were going to plan a whole concert. But now we have! And sure, there's still a lot of stress there in making sure it all runs smoothly (the fact that we won't get to rehearse all as a group until the night before being the main one) but it's still coming together way better than we would have expected, especially three years ago!

all you have to do is find the sheet music in the archives, contact the estate, digitize the sheet music, create new arrangements, research venues in the area, decide upon a list of tech requirements for the show, make a dozen phone calls and a couple emails, keep talking to the estate to secure approval for the performance, make a bunch of infographics and flyers and social media posts, manage donations, make sure your group has all the information about the rally, make some schedules, get back to work on those new music arrangements, drive out there, hand the venue $200, and sing!

and yeah. all at once, that sounds like a lot, doesn't it? But spread that out over three years and a couple dozen people. And I am so proud of us for getting to this point from absolutely nothing. You know at one point they thought it was impossible that we'd ever even see footage of the original production of Rag Dolly? That people had tried and failed and given up before we came along? Once we got that I feel like there was nothing we'd let stand in our way.

We'll figure it out, one small step at a time.

Next, readings, workshops, demos. Small work in progress performances. That'll take another couple years, probably. More script and music revisions, more crowdfunding, more social media posts and schedules and phone calls and emails. More conversation with the estates until we all agree our script is good enough to stage a full production of.

And one day we will look back at all the tiny little steps and go how the hell did a bunch of kids get here??? We won't even be kids anymore! We got here by just doing it, and not questioning for too long if we should or even can, but finding out how we will.

-Mod General D.

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

WIP Questionnaire ±2

I was tagged by @rjcopeseethemald! I haven't done one of these in a while and really enjoyed the questions here, so I decided I'd give it a go for my wip: Wings of Faith!

Original from @illarian-rambling.

If you want to know more about Wings of Faith, check out my post here!

RULES: 1. Answer as few or as many of the following questions as you’d like! 2. In passing the tag along to others, you can add one question of your own, or replace an existing question.

This art is a bit old but it's the last time I've drawn everyone all together haha

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

Surprisingly enough, Emmie (a main character, but not the protagonist) is the first part of my wip that I created (See the red girl on the top left). She was the protagonist of the very first book I wrote in fifth grade, and I wanted to pay homage to that work by including her. However, she's changed a LOT since then (even her name!), and the only remaining carry-over is the red streak in her hair.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Intro song: "Run to the Devil" by Dragonwyck or "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult. Outro song: "It Will Come Back" or "Francesca" by Hozier Instrumental: "Dragonlord Placidusax" from the Elden Ring Soundtrack or "Danse Macabre" by The Oh Hellos

3. Who are your favorite characters you’ve made? Why?

Andrew, my protagonist, is by far my favorite character. Writing from the POV of an incredibly sensitive, incredibly traumatized person (who feels things very deeply), while outwardly projecting a cruel and defensive facade is... *chef's kiss* Otherwise, I'd have to say Emmie. She is a very layered and multifaceted character with an incredibly important role to play in the story, and her kindness is refreshing amid a mostly hardened cast of characters.

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

Six of Crows fans

Dante's Inferno fans who don't mind me bending the lore a bit

Fellow ex-Catholics

Fans of Hozier's "Unreal Unearth" album

Supernatural fans into the "corrupted angel x man struggling for redemption" dynamic

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Keeping the facts straight. This has been a 10+ year project and sometimes I forget the revisions I've made, and accidentally cut out important details...

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Yes! Rimfaxe is a wraith, aka a shapeshifting shadow monster that takes the form of the things he's killed and eaten. (See the top left of the art above!) Emmie stole him from the government and now he's basically her kid.

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

They mostly walk (or fly on Rimfaxe)! Because Hell has a ceiling, the authorities restrict car transport to government officials ONLY to keep down emissions.

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

A giant, chapter-long fight scene that I've been working on for a literal year. It's TORTURE. Can't explain much else because of spoilers haha.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

The main romance is an mlm enemies-to-friends-to-lovers angel x demon pairing! (Angel x demon pairings where they're both assholes>>>>>) Also I feel like there's been a void in lore-focused media dealing with angels and demons, and I'm hoping Wings of Faith will fill that void!

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

That I get it done after 10+ years... and that people will like it :')

11. (Added by rjcopeseethemald) What pieces of media have been the most inspiring to you for this wip?

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

The Inferno by Dante Alighieri

Hozier's "Unreal Unearth" album

Adding a Question 12: Is there a part of your wip you wish that you could change, but it's too late to go back now?

I don't want to bother anyone by tagging them directly, so I tag anyone who sees this post and wants to do it! Blanks below.

What was the first part of your wip that you created?

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Who are your favourite characters you’ve made? Why?

What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

What part of your wip are you working on rn?

What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

What are your hopes for your wip?

What pieces of media have been the most inspiring to you for this WIP?

[lynaferns]

seems like the OC topic is here! how many do you have? and what types of OC you like more? :D espero y tengas un muy lindo dia!

I had to count them... uuuuh, at least 45 OCs not counting my sonas and selfiserts (and DCA AUs), all distributed between 10-ish stories, 33 OCs or so are from the same story and spin off of said story (yeah, I made a whole story and then took the whole cast of characters and put 'em in a completely diferent story and universe). There are many that I haven't posted anywhere yet, some don't have a story yet just the concept and some I haven't even draw them yet lol.

(one day I'll have to make a master post or something of all the OC's)

Y'know what? I'm making a list of the stories I have

(It got long, is under the cut)

A Shadow Between Worlds: Girl born with a shadow entity as her protector has nightmares where she gets chased by a monster she can't see, when she wakes up she's covered in all the wounds the monster made her. One day she gets tired and shearch for an old book her mother kept in the attic, the book contains information about entitys from other worlds. She opens a portal to an utopian world who's population is interested in knowledge, at a point where their world became the Universe's library.

Our Little Wonderland ^^Spin off: Nosy reporter enters abandoned mansion after a few rumours of some teenagers talking about it beging haunted with moving dolls, rooms that changed placement and typical haunted mansion stuff. Finds out the mansion is not haunted but it's magical and dolls want to search for the little girl that lived there with her father but they can't leave the mansion. The reporter finds the girl but she refused to come back to her old home at first. The dolls are fantasy characters from a story setting and needs the girl to do her rol as one of the main characters of the tale so they can complete their purpouse but the girl is not very cooperative.

Syra and Fayne (no title yet): Half human demon escaped her fathers fortress and went to live on earth. Along the ways she meets a forest spirit that decides to acompany her and later on she makes friends with a fallen angel she meets. They both live together as besties.

Robot and Cat (no title yet): Stray cat enters an old abandoned home already claimed by nature and accidentally wakes an old futuristic robot. The robot takes care of the cat and the house and search for evidences of where its owners/creators are and what happened to them.

Spike Boy (andry furries with powers): angry hegdog kid is pissed off with a guy who killed his parents and wants to beat his ass, meets a bunny girl who's parents were also killed by the same guy and she also wants to beat his ass. Said guy is the lider of an organization whos trying to dominate the world to rule it in his own way and make it a safer place but comiting several atrocities in the way to his goal

Khrono Cat (furries and automatons): A baby born dead is taken to the water and time spirits by his parents. Is revived in the lake's water by the spirits and a fallen star. Later on the kids life the spirits call him back to the lake to give him an automaton as his guardian to full fil his destiny of stoping a world catastrophe.

Fase REM (provisional title): There is people who are transported to an Earth like dream dimension when they fall asleep, they have to survive trough the nigth escaping from dangers and monsters. They don't know why but when they enter the dream they are filled with a feeling like they must find a person. If they die in their dreams they die in real life. One day a girl is visited by an entity who comes from the dream dimention and since then she's been afected by this weird event (and tormented by the entity who never left). She has to discover how this entity was created, where did it came from and why all of this is happening.

Heavenly Kids (provisional title, needs revision): Heaven and Hell where at peace at each other but one day corrupted demons started attaking the human realm and Heaven send 3 guardians representatives of parts of the body (bones, flesh and nerves) to save the earth and find out what is going on in the demon realm.

Shadow Family (no title yet, just a concept): A family of shadowy creatures who lives in the forest and sometimes disguises as humans to go unnoticed between them. The parents has some unresolved matters from the past and the kids goes investigate about it (this is actually a dream that I had where it was a show I was watching and got upset when there where no more episodes, then I woke up and got more upset because the show didn't even exist so I drew the family)

Magic Apprentice (no title yet, just a concept): Girl who is abused by her family and neglected finds a secret door inside of her closet that goes to several other closets until she gets to her grandmas house, except that the house now is diferent, is magic, and the world around her too. Her grandma is a witch and made that secret door for her to escape to when she got to be old enough (except that the grandma got tired of seen her grandkid getting mistreated and didn't wait anymore for her to turn 18). The girl becomes her grandma's apprentice and explores the world full of magic. (This is also a dream I had, I think my head mixed Harry Potter with Narnia(haven't even watched this) and Studio Ghibli artstyle for some reason)

I have... to do a lot... a lot of redesigns... and change a few names.

....This got longer than I intended. Well you can see the repetitive concept of non-human worlds or semi-human realms lol, and magic, dreams, and I didn't mention it in the list but there are a couple of stories that involve tecno-magic.

I generally like fantasy-sci-fi and retro-futuristic themes, non-human characters trying to live a mundane life or human and non-human (or diferent especies and cultures) living together. It's actually really hard to tell what type of characters exactly I like. I'm picky too, that doesn't help. If it's a robot I'm almost surely gonna like it, and if the robot has a living being as a friend I'm gonna like it more.

Y gracias! espero que tu también. Me he tirado aquí como 4 horas pero he entrado a archivos viejos buscando a todos mis OCs y he revisitado un montón de ideas viejas, así que gracias por eso también :D

Edit: I don't know what hapened but the cut moved placement and the images are one on top of the other, vertically instead of horizontally, I hope I fixed it. It doesn't let me edit from the phone so I went back to the computer.

[fuck-customers]

Have any of you guys had a manager/coworker that you were honestly fine with, but everyone else hated and you can't figure out why?

So I've been through 3 store managers in my time working at my current company and the first 2 were HELL CUNTS, just absolutely horrible. And the current manager is fine. Tolerable at worst, nice at best.

A small summary of SM #1:

-screamed at me in front of an entire store of coworkers and customers and physically pushed me out of his way when he wanted to use the store computer, but I was using it first

-would schedule me for recovery/go-backs and would lecture me for not being able to finish them all in my 4 hour shift and blame me personally to the rest of the store. Was later told by a coworker that she would see him go around the store and grab random items off the shelves and throw them in a cart to create another "go-backs cart"

-would assign me one task and then take me off task A to do task B and then take me off task B to do task C, etc etc etc and I was never able to finish anything and then would throw me under the bus to other managers and claimed I didn't do any work

-would ask me to come in for a shift on my day off and when I showed up to the store to clock in, he would ask why I was at the store and either pretend like he didn't call me in or pretend like he "forgot" to tell me that he already got coverage

-just generally would talk down to me and belittle me as if I were a small child or an animal

-there's probably more, but I probably blocked it out so I could continue going to work without going on a rampage

SM #2:

-was only there for a little over a year, but fired/forced all my coworker friends to quit

-would gaslight me about anything and everything; store policies, things she said, things other managers said, etc.

-also would assign multiple tasks at the same time and refuse to let me complete one

-hired new people left and right and then refused to train them so the new employees didn't know how to do anything and made more work for everyone else

-waited until after 5:00 on Saturday, the last day of the work week to post the schedule for the next week and then revised it multiple times throughout the week each week so no one ever knew when they were working

-regularly changed my schedule to cut my hours and then would attempt to call me in throughout the week + would cut a shift and then try to get me to come in for a different shift on the same day after revising the schedule to give me that day off

-scheduled people, but mostly me, 3 hour shifts so she wouldn't legally have to give them a paid break

-most importantly, fabricated a fake story to attempt to get me fired for a fake EEOC complaint, which would've effectively ruined my entire future

The current SM:

-is a little bit ditzy/spacey

-is wound a little tight/is a little bit neurotic

-???

-That's about it?? Almost every employee hates her and I cannot figure out why. I suspect that the previous SM (SM #2) is somehow involved, since every current employee other than me and 2 other people (who also don't mind her) was hired by SM #2. None of them have given me any reasons that make any sense. She was a little bit snippy with them? Ok? She didn't yell at them in front of customers or call them names or swear at them. They claimed that she made the store messy/disorganized, when she had only been here less than a week and the previous SM #2 didn't do any recovery or cleaning of the store for a year. One of the complaints I heard literally imo translated to "she asked me to do my job" Like, I also don't like to do my job, but that's what a manager is supposed to do. Tell you to do your job. One of my leads and a small group of employees have banded together and decided they wanted to report her to HR and get her fired. Because of the above mentioned "incidents" (I don't think they actually submitted the report though. Or if they did, HR looked at it and laughed and threw it away)

Posted by admin Rodney.

[the-resurrection-3d]

@glitteronin activated my autism trap card so I decided to expand on my "the poison song in Hazbin ep 4 feels like rape porn" hot take.

I'm kidding. My actual hot take is that the episode is pretty alright anyway.

So this originally was going to be a reblog of someone else’s posts about how Angel’s characterization "makes it obvious [Viv] doesn’t think abuse is bad,” but I decided to just leave that person alone. I’ve also revised this quite a bit, because I want to present ways of thinking about representation of trauma that aren’t just “graphic = bad” and “metaphor/off-screen=good,” and preserve my own attempts to think through this conflict. So don’t expect a definitive thesis or anything too prescriptive—I welcome other perspectives here!

It is also worth noting that someone with a rape kink DID help storyboard the Poison montage. Last I heard, they are not a survivor and just grew up very repressed. I didn’t bring this up before because the Instagram post I saw from them only said they helped “choregraph” the dance, so I wasn’t sure if they has only storyboarded the dance sequences or if they’d done the entire thing.

Anyway.

Based on the latter part of episode 4 and what Viv has said in the past about being a survivor (IIRC) and Angel Dust being her comfort character, I feel like she does care about abuse, but there are a ton of little different points of friction that are all coming together to undermine Angel Dust's arc as a part of a larger anti-abuse project for many people.

I want to say I’m coming at this from the perspective of someone who largely appreciated what the episode was going for, and was not triggered by the montage. Not to say that people who were triggered are wrong in their criticisms – just that I’m not coming from a place of immediate emotional distress, and I’m not judging Angel’s reactions to his trauma against my own.

I’ve said elsewhere that the Poison montage has the same energy as a lot of rape porn—meaning it has the same focus on the heightened emotional states but none on the real physical toll of these events. Specifically, the scene made me think of this quote from Angela Carter’s The Sadeian Woman, which is a book-length academic work on the rape porn of the Marquis de Sade:

It follows that prostitutes are favourite heroines of the pornographic writer, though the economic aspects of a prostitute's activity, which is her own main concern in the real world, will be dealt with only lightly. Her labour is her own private business. Work, in this context, is really dirty work; it is unmentionable. Even unspeakable. And we may not talk about it because it reintroduces the question of the world. In this privatised universe pleasure is the only work; work itself is unmentionable. To concentrate on the prostitute's trade as trade would introduce too much reality into a scheme that is first and foremost one of libidinous fantasy, and pornographic writers, in general, are not concerned with extending the genre in which they work to include a wider view of the world.

Of course, this does not perfectly map onto Hazbin Hotel: indeed, the project of episode 4 (however successful the individual viewer found it to be) is to introduce a lot of reality into Angel’s facade of a Being A Walking Hole.

Still, to me, a lot of the episode still works on a similar wavelength as the porn author’s “libidinous fantasy,” as even the parts of his story we are supposed to find upsetting and painful are still the parts that are sexualized in conventional rape/non-con porn, and follow the same fantastical logic. By which I mean, Angel can be shown briefly in pain or tired from being attacked for hours, but never for too long, and he certainly doesn't get too tired or high he stumbles in his high heels, or so tired or sore he messes up a take and they have to stop and redo shots (something that is very common in the production of even regular ass porn, btw). Hell, his bruised eye from Val slapping him is gone by the time the montage is over.

Indeed, the montage revels in forcing us to become not merely witnesses, but spectators to Angel’s victimization: the song is energic, the cuts frenetic, with tons of small shots that can easily be clipped out and used as regular pornography—the shots of Angel and Val fucking being probably the most obvious example, as without context, there’s nothing to suggest that Angel is being coerced, even as he is bitten. Part of this is intentional, since Angel Dust is supposed to be "addicted" to the lifestyle—the song itself is clearly supposed to have the energy of something like "Toxic" by Britney Spears, which Viv said in a Q&A was Angel's audition song.

And despite our culture’s increased awareness of and (lip service) empathy to survivors, it is truly daring to be portraying this kind of reaction to abuse. I saw multiple people on my timeline say this made them feel seen, and I am happy for them.  

 But then we have Husk calling Angel a loser over being abused a few scenes later, and them singing a fun, jazzy song about it. Sure, we now have a good grasp of Angel's character motivations—and I wouldn't be surprised if this pacing decision was in response to Angel getting blasted for years as an offensive caricature of gay men—but would someone who just got gangraped for hours really be receptive to THIS message from someone they were just fiercely arguing with? Furthermore, on a purely character level, why is Husk doing this and not Charlie, who is the one Angel was having actual conflict with earlier in the episode? The scene itself is fine, and it's completely understandable why they would want to end the episode on a lighter note, but the way the story is being paced makes it feel like Viv wants to just rush through to get to the HuskDust stuff.

Revising this essay, I revisited an old essay by Will Harris that I frequently cite when discussing ethics of representation, wherein he points out that the “I”/eye of the [there poet, here viewer] is not ethically neutral:

Witness carries no moral imperative in itself; the act of seeing is not inherently virtuous. Or you could say, its moral charge lies less in the “evidence” it provides than in how it’s rendered in language. The viewing “I”/eye is a fiction, inasmuch as it cleanly separates the subject from the object. So the job of the writer is not just to choose what to look at, but to work out how to represent the complex relationships embedded in the act of looking.

The paragraph before this has Harris cite Scenes of Subjection: Terror, Slavery, and Self-Making in Nineteenth-Century America, wherein scholarSaidiya Hartman refuses to reprint Aunt Hester’s beating from the first chapter of Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass. “It’s too easy to put such horror into words and so think that you’ve faced up to it,” as Harris writes. “Accounts of extreme hurt may prompt indignation, but Hartman argues that they eventually “immure us to pain by virtue of their familiarity.” That in some sense, to demand “suffering be materialized and evidenced” is more “obscene” than the original torture.”

Of course, placing this quote here in this essay about a show that is currently being lambasted for portraying graphic rape at all, in an online culture that often conflates representation with endorsement or some secret moral deviancy on the author’s part, would be to suggest that portraying rape on-screen is itself an issue, when representations are always bound by their historical and social contexts. Sometimes you do have to be that graphic, but like Harris says, it’s easy to think just showing the horror in itself is meaningful — and I think we all are a little too blackpilled here on Tumblr to think that just Showing The Horrors is enough to produce meaningful change within the average person.

However, I think the more useful idea of Harris’s is “withness.” Harris writes that in these more ideal poems,

Subject and object are no longer distinct from one another. In such a state, the self is implicated—emotionally and ethically—in the other. It’s impossible to conceive of “being” without “being-with.” Hopkins writes: “With witness I speak this.” In my head that line always reads: “With withness I speak this.”

I think this is what the episode was attempting to do—to force us into the uneasy position of a spectator before moving us into witness (as Husk is asking the same kinds of questions we would be asking about Angel’s behavior, reacting with concern as we would even as we see through Angel’s facade) and then withness. Literally, two characters dueting about finding comfort in their core similarity. This is why it had to be him and not Charlie: Husk is in a much better position to produce withness than Charlie, given how the episode clearly parallels his deal with Alastor to Angel’s contract with Val.

Still, this kind of emotional-logic-driven storytelling leaves out any viewers who don’t resonate and does not offer them anything else to latch onto. It also does nothing to satisfy the structural questions raised earlier (couldn’t Charlie have sent Husk to deal with Val for some reason? It probably would be a dumb reason but at least the episode would have symmetry).

I still hold the big problem with the episode is that we are directed to think—indeed, are told directly—that Angel is “addicted” to this lifestyle, but we aren’t given a real origin point for this behavior: the trauma and addiction to said trauma are a closed loop. Val is such an obvious piece of shit, to the point of even sexually harassing the literal Princess of Hell the very second he meets her, that we get no sense of what drew Angel in. Sure, we can make inferences that he likes sex, likes drugs, liked fame, but if Val has always acted like an obvious psycho, Angel blaming himself for his abuse is, in a very cruel way, completely justified.

But in real life, even people who get with obvious shitbags often have reasons for this laid in their past: it’s rarely the case that a normal, well-adjusted person is just so fucking stupid they end up marrying Mister Rape.

This disconnect between what I’m being told to think and what I’m actually being shown is where this attempt at withness failed for me, and the lack of attention to reality and general indulgence of the montage is probably what people are picking up on when they say it gave them kink vibes.

But still! Looking at the montage in context, I can appreciate what Viv was trying to do. The real sickening thing, to me, is that the internet is so unwilling and unready to engage with Viv’s work and with this type of representation in any type of good faith, so even if it were a 10/10 absolute masterpiece, it wouldn’t have mattered. Can’t wait for the next Angel episode so we can have this discourse all over again!

[remedyxtragedy]

Hello!!! Pleasure to meet ya!!

I only really wanna go by RemedyxTragedy but you can also just call me Rem or Remedy, whichever you prefer. I've been posting on tumblr for a good few months now on my other two accounts, however I've yet to emulate the online identity I've always wanted on platforms like this and so I decided, why not start anew and see where I get?

What I really strive to accomplish here is sharing my work with the masses, in a way that's 100% better and more organized than my previous attempts. Before I continue on about my stories, however, some basic and completely relevant facts about me are--

I prefer a much darker and grim style of writing so fluff, heartbalm, and mushy light-hearted stuff isn't really my cup of tea, although I do like wholesome from time to time just as a refresher from the more serious themes and subjects I often entrench myself in, to an unhealthy extent, so if I'm in the mood for it I might post such a story or two

I'm still very much in high school, but writing has been my passion for many years now. I enjoy playwriting and the regular creative style of writing, but as I've stated before my work will most likely only ever consist of Horror, mystery, or Thriller--it's what I'm best at.

Yes, I make art. I'm a rookie, by all means, but it's a very precious hobby of mine and so I make the most of it. My main blog is where I post art showcasing my main art style which is pretty vibrant and colorful so if you're interested you can check that out, but on this blog I'll only be posting art using the particular art style I adopted for Idiosyncratic, my other big story (name to be decided), and any other story I come up with along the journey. You'll see what I mean

I have a kitty cat, Tsukiko, and she's my pride and joy. Probably the most unnecessary detail I've shared about myself but in my eyes this is absolutely vital information the world should know about

I'm a Christian through and through, though I'm quite interested in a variety of religious and philosophical concepts which I incorporate in my writing, including of course heaven and hell, morality based on what is religiously acceptable compared to moral relativism, solipsism, theodicy, eternal recurrence, and many, many more.

I've been working on Idiosyncratic since seventh grade, technically six, so what I have now is the result of more than three years worth of heavy revision, redrafting, and complete reworking of my original idea. And let me tell you, what I had before is like the ugly grandfather of my current version of Idiosyncratic and if you were to place the two together side by side, you'd have no idea that they're related. The juxtaposition would be jaw-dropping, but ultimately all of this is to say that Idiosyncratic is very important to me and I pray that the final product, whatever it becomes, gets me somewhere in this world

Now, derailing from the mini tangent and while we're on the topic of Idiosyncratic, I'll give you all a pretty detailed summary of my idea and I'll make another separate post about my other big story that I recently started working on since this introduction post is already long enough. So, without further ado--

Idiosyncratic follows the twisted tragedy of Calixte Stanhope, a rather callous and apathetic but…ordinary enough young man who awoke in a truly bizarre dystopian world after being pushed in front of an ongoing train while escorting his significant other home, a faceless and nameless woman he remembers only by her mere existence in this vivid memory. Throughout his journey he's haunted and tormented by an ever-worsening deep longing for her that seems to spur his unnatural incentive to do whatever he must to survive.

Rather than being welcomed by the pearly gates of heaven or the fiery pits of hell, Calixte found himself standing in the midst of the deceptively benevolent town of Baltimore, where everything from the largest bank to the tiniest coin is made entirely of cardboard and plastic, like the set for a play—mimicking the real thing while not actually being it. One can say, a rip off of everything in our world, and yet it functions all the same, strangely enough.

The citizens of the town too; although they're quick to greet you with a warm smile and talk with such an enticing charm that is sure to ensnare anybody desperate for answers to their odd predicament, they are not even close to being as ordinary as first impressions suggest--first impressions of which Calixte, for whatever reason, could see straight through. And soon enough, those illusions of a Utopian society vanish into cinder as the true reality of the young man's situation is unveiled to be more abstract and dreadful than he even considered feasible. A reality that threatens to permanently twist and pervert the very perceptions of right and wrong our civilizations were forged upon.

What'll ultimately become abundantly clear to Calixte is that this world to glorifies the degeneracy we spurn, endorses the activity we condemn, and corrupts the principles we have used to scaffold our lands from the ground up--essentially, a complete burlesque or anti-thesis of what we stand for that is fueled by entropy. Violence and madness is praised and empowered, old concepts of morality are muddled and deemed obsolete, and humanity's animalistic drive to persevere at all costs is just a catalyst for a higher man's twisted wonderland. The citizens of this delightful world are diehard fanatics for this way of living, lusting for violence so much to the point where its broadcasted on television, discussed fanatically in literature, and displayed publicly as theatrical performances. The more irredeemable and atrocious something is, the more the residents of Baltimore revere it like sacred scripture, and the man who proudly encourages and orchestrates this madness, the aforementioned 'higher man', is none other than the eccentric mayor, “Whitman Sedgwick"--which is his pen name, as he usually regulates his hegemony and maintains a formidable presence through various propaganda, manifestos, and biographies that can be found all around town--the most famous of which being his disturbing pro-anarchy book, 'All Good Things'.

The very unlucky menagerie of people who wound up in Baltimore under bizarre circumstances similar to Calixte’s, properly labeled as “actors”, have to routinely partake in abhorrent acts for the public’s entertainment otherwise more than just their dignity, humanity, and pride will be torn from them. And eventually, once you're fully proven yourself to be of no use to Whitman's design, you are properly "dealt with"...

It’s a horrifying ordeal to most, but a paradise to some of humanity’s greatest degenerates, and that minority is powerful, hungry, and determined to survive by any means necessary--no matter how low they must stoop, or how much of their pith they must forsake in order to prevail. Thus leading Calixte, a not-so-righteous man with an ambition, to meet some other morally questionable people he never would’ve otherwise, creating a fragile alliance that will either make or break this band of reprehensible lowlives, all depraved in their own ways but alike in their desire for freedom and above all, answers.

As he begrudgingly adjusts his mind to this new world, he quickly realizes his dangerous willingness to do anything and everything he must in order to discover and accomplish his true purpose, and of course, to reunite with the one woman so dear to him. As his journey of metaphorical self destruction embarks, Calixte molds himself a vessel most apt to not only survive in Baltimore but to succeed beyond expectations, seemingly becoming a version of himself that'll soon be unrecognizable from its original form. In spite of his sturdy mind, as he comes to realize, there was absolutely nothing he could've done to brace himself for the scary revelation that the utter absurdity of this world may extend far, far beyond just the glamorization and capitalization of moral debasement. It seems, there's a larger horror waiting to be unearthed just beyond what his lenses can capture. It seems, there's more than one person pulling at the strings--its just a question of, who exactly is at the end of the cross brace?

OOOOoooh so ominous

Also, PLEASE, give me feedback.

[seahdalune]

Seana's 2023 art highlights

(surprisingly, not a reupload this time!)

January: i drew nothing! we're off to a great start.

February: i drew something! i love Champ even if i haven't drawn anything tf2 related since April. i think it was this piece where i decided to give Champ RED coloring. [link]

also, this is the month i made my second Moldy plush.... i wasn't very happy with this one, though. [link]

March: uhhhh. more of my tf2 ocs but i think those aren't that interesting. just go to my tf2 oc blog @brokenbrainstormbulb if you wanna see them honestly, i have an image limit to keep ffs. that said, this was around the time i got into TC2, so i drew a lot of that kind of stuff... i'm never drawing stuff for it ever again, sorry. [link]

April: look at the cool thing i drew for a fellow tf2 robot fan! now, this is the point in time where i start drawing more because of a certain interest, so look forward to all the art that'll come up here.....

May: wow, this really was my first public piece of Papa Louie art, huh. i was so proud of it when i showed it off on tumblr the first time... i don't like it as much anymore. for one, the office wall color is wrong.... i still can't believe Papa Louie was what got me out of art block, but god, i'm glad it did. i don't think i've drawn this much before, and even though the community's tiny, i'm glad to give back as much as i can. anyways, i said something like "it's so funny that people think they're either super married or divorced as hell" on the same post. i still think that, and it's defos funny as hell, but i've grown a kind of appreciation towards the ship as well. like yeah, you go girls, we love that extra slow burn with so many road bumps on the way! [link]

June: how the hell did i pump this out. this was also like a few days before i had to leave for the airport too... i don't know myself sometimes. i swear i still love Boigashipping! i just... i'm just busy with other ships okkkk [link]

July: i didn't draw anything...? i was in Bali. and i was busy selling adopt designs to draw anything substantial, oopsie! actually, i DID draw the first part of WDB... it's uh, still the only part. i'm sorry!!!! i'm sorry!!!! i swear i have the whole thing outlined!!! can you just give me anons about the story instead so you won't have to wonder what comes next!! [link]

August: TOSI fixation. it had not gone past it's conceptual stage, i must note. i do wish i would do something about it though. [link]

September: the art trade i did with my friend! actually, i was a few weeks late with my part, so it was supposed to be finished by August. oops. i like the textures tbh. my Chuseok drawings.... i need to draw more characters in hanbok, hee hee. [link]

October: (breaths in) ...this is the month i finally gave into the JoGotcha wantings. LOOK. ever since someone put the idea into my brain i couldn't get enough of it, and like,, nobody draws the ship anymore so i had to take matters into my own hands. this is the first ship i'm this obsessed with. i usually leave ship stuff to other people but this time that wasn't enough and i... i had to do SOMETHING, y'know? [link]

Cringetober? who's that? haha;; i stopped feeling like doing the whole list after less than a week. impressive.

November: oh look, Plushy Power League. Quinn didn't win, but i do like the thing i drew as propaganda, so whateves. the first Papa Louie character i ever drew (minus Chuck and Taylor)... did i change how i draw her? uhh. maybe? i'm not too sure. [link]

also look! the keychain drawing... i need to talk about my Gods and Monsters au again at some point. actually, since i last uploaded the image of my keychain, i revised it tons... it's kinda different now, and i defos think it looks better. this is actually the time i finally fixed the stupid display setting thing that was really messing up my coloring! [link 1] [link 2]

December: ...oops! tablet broke. and i got my 3ds back so i just didn't draw that much even after exams were over. didn't stop me from drawing though, and in fact i think i made something pretty neat with my christmas art.... even if it did come one day late. [link]

wow. that's a whole year of stuff... and that's defos a lot! i think i'm really happy with what i drew this year.... i don't know what was in my water the last few years but my art highlights felt really.... miserable? for some reason. i mean, yeah, i didn't do a lot of what i had planned (GOE ANIMATIC IM SORRY) but i can see that i've done just as much with my hands anyways, so like, who cares? plus, i always have next year... that's coming in 3 hours, oh god- so, maybe i won't be too hard on myself for not fulfilling my goals... like, i kinda glossed over it, but i did sell my designs for money, and that's like, really impressive! so many people around me buy and sell their art stuff already, so i guess i didn't really register it as something to be proud of... but doing that shit (making, and marketing) is hard!! so like, it's a wow moment for me!

anyways, i'm tired, i only came back home a few hours ago, and i need to get up again for church in a few hours.... mrphgdjd. lets stop being sentimental, and i'll see you people next year. that's a long way off! hope you don't miss me.

[actuallycassidyiambusy]

Okay so I saw a post you reblogged a while back with a picture of your ocs. They are absolutely gorgeous and I'd love to know more about them! Is that archangel a boy and do they have history with that demon?? How'd you come up with their names? Aeshma and Talon are so unique!

Oh, dear sweet anon, now you've done it.

*deep inhale*

I don't normally post about my original work, but if I'm asked, I shall speak.

I have been working on Helpless since the beginning of my 9th grad school year. It's a series. A few years ago, my work was published through Palmetto Publishing.

Though, due to them being too apprehensive about having a gay protagonist, I cut ties with them.

I am now working with a publisher out of the UK. Olympia Publishing. I had a lot of other offers, but most of them were vanity publishers. With Olympia, I have all control of what is published.

I did a lot of revisions and book one will be coming out either late this year or early next. It will have a new cover with a different allure. Peep it:

Talon is a boy for sure. He's just graced with beauty. His mother is Aphrodite and his father is Saint Michael. He is the first son of an archangel and goddess. He's gentle and understanding, unlike his father. He spends his time with the garden angels and finds comfort in being outdoors. His father wants him to follow in his footsteps and lead the angelic army alongside him, but Talon doesn't like the idea of war. Pointless bloodshed saddens him and he doesn't understand why either side feels the need to battle over petty disagreements. I often describe him with feminine grace and appearance. He's soft spoken and dignified, but not to the point of arrogance. He is also the only angel in heaven with pink eyes. He's slender and he's 5'9" When I describe him, I mention that he sparkles in the sun like fresh snow. His father keeps him away from his mother so she doesn't influence him to step away from the path of an archangel. Talon is torn between making his father proud and doing what makes him happy. He doesn't want to be a warrior. He wants to work in the gardens.

This is some really old art I have of him. I have to work on some more now that I picked up a new program. The ginger is Fawn. She is Talon's best friend.

Aeshma is a Persian war demon from a place in hell called Khadah. A place in the circle of wrath. His parents are Amara and Angra Mainyu. Both of them are war demons as well. He was bred for battle, starting his training as soon as he could run. His kind have been at war with Michael for years and Angra makes Aeshma a commander in the demonic army. He's cocky but humble. It's very hard to get him to switch from soldier to young demon who wants to have fun. Aeshma is almost seven feet tall and built like a tank. Chocolate brown skin and jade green eyes. He's covered in battle scars. He makes his parents extremely proud. He's a ruthless killer who has taken down kingdoms without the aid of an army. So, when it comes to invading heaven, Aeshma is the one Angra can count on.

A meeting is called by Michael after he invades Khadah and kills Aeshma's sister. Angra accepts and brings a small group of demons with him.

Talon is forced to attend this meeting. None of the angels know that Angra's presence is only a distraction from Aeshma's attack. They don't want peace, they want revenge.

This attack leads to Aeshma breaking into Michael's house and stumbling across Talon. While other demons want to kidnap and sell Talon, Aeshma makes the decision to let him go. Talon is intrigued by Aeshma and even decides to accompany his father to hell where they sign a treaty.

I don't want to give away too much, I could talk for years about this, but I'll just give the basics for now.

Talon and Aeshma start to meet in private. In one of Heaven's abandoned gardens. Eden. Aeshma is there for information and Talon is there to get to know him.

*insert a shit ton more lore and plot here lmfao*

Michael ends up finding out about what Talon has been doing and he imprisons Talon. Talon escapes and Michael's only option is to cast him down. He subdues Talon's angelic powers and strips him of his memory. He kills Talon and has him reborn to a human family. An abusive family that see him as evil because of his paper white skin and pink eyes. He was born to a twin brother, Tyler. Talon ends up with a red streak in his hair. Michael describes it as his physical scarlet letter. And his life will be nothing but pain and suffering.

That's what book one is about. Talon's life as a human. His battle with neglect, abuse and sexual assault. Living in a place where no one wants to help and no one cares. He finds peace in one human, who in fact isn't human. David.

Talon learns all about possessive behavior and psychological abuse without even realizing it until it's too late. He also doesn't realize he's being hunted. While it's subdued, demons and angels can smell Talon's power. Asmodeus and Samael included. He falls into the lust demon's grasp, lured in with the idea of revenge on the people who have hurt him.

All this leads into a hefty series of Talon finding out exactly who and what he is. Royal demon blood is blended with his angelic golden ichor, turning him into a hybrid. One of the most powerful weapons in all creation. And he is faced with a decision. Michael isn't the only angelic threat to Talon and his newfound family. It goes all the way up the political angelic ladder. Being a hybrid and possessing the blood of Michael, Talon is the only one who can bring him down.

There is literally so much that I left out, but hopefully that was enough of a lore drop lmfao

I deeply apologize for the massive info dump, but I am literally so excited about this series, I could cry. I worked so hard on it.

There will be

Helpless

Helpless: Retaliation

Helpless: Revelation

Helpless: Redemption

Helpless: Revolution

And it will all lead up to the release of Divine Chaos which will be all about Talon before his fall.

The names took me forever. I have a shit ton of characters throughout the series. The Dictionary of Demons is a MAJOR life saver when it comes to name and even lore. It's a fantastic book and if you're writing about angels and demons, I seriously recommend it.

[newgenog]

REVENGE

Notes: This is part two of chapter three. If you're just stumbling across this, and haven't already done so, please stop and start by reading part one of chapter one.

This #Batwoman AU is based on the ABC tv series #Revenge. Playing with these character parallels has been fun. And writing an intentionally vengeful Ryan Wilder (who is not a cloaked hero) is an interesting challenge, too.

I break my (super long 😅) chapters into parts and post them on Tumblr each Friday. Then, I post their the final part with the complete on A03.

Aright, let's get into it.

CHAPTER THREE - BETRAYAL (Part Two)

Summary: Before he can announce his intent to run for Mayor, Robyn Wilde makes it her mission to destroy the life of the District Attorney that decided to bring criminal charges against her for the events that led to her mother’s death when she was the child known as Ryan Wilder.

THE LOFT, 2PM ON SUNDAY

Ryan felt tugged towards The Hold Up. She knew that was exactly where she shouldn’t be. She came back to Gotham for one reason: to rectify the wrongs done to her mom and her. She was pursuing a vicious but precise attack, and the risk was great for anyone who got caught in the crossfire. 

Still, when she arrived outside of her new home, the door to the bar seemed to glow, and she couldn’t decide if it was indicating ‘stay back, radioactive relationships are on the other side,’ or ‘everything is bright and warm here.’ Regardless, she’s combustible and that heat was likely to create the perfect amount of pressure to blow everything up. All walking into that bar would do is cause more damage. So, as she sits at her kitchen table, staring at the stairway that will drop her off in front of the office where her favorite feline is likely curled up napping, and where the family she feels protective of even though she’s who they need protecting from is trying to manage yet another thing, she reminds herself that she has work to do. 

She’s spent the last hour reviewing, revising, and finalizing the packet she’ll use to introduce her shared business venture proposal to Kate. She needs to put that to bed so she can focus on her next target - Roman Sionis. She saves the pitch file, and then opens up the folder of footage from the statements recorded at the police station that Luke was able to obtain from Arther Brown’s hidden archives. 

All named witnesses were called into the police station after Cora was shot. Because they were minors, parents were able to accompany them in the interrogation room. She selects a video and fast forwards to the statement that ultimately damned her to growing up too fast in youth hell at the detention center. 

Catherine Hamilton and Beth Kane sat in a room with two large-mirrored walls, lit with one overhead lamp, and at an oval conference room table. Catherine was clutching her step daughter’s hand in a way that felt more threatening than supportive. She was clearly doing everything in her power to maintain control over this spiraling situation. 

Catherine: "Detective, why are we here?" Sionis: "Your daughter was named as a witness at the scene where Cora Lewis was shot to death." Beth: “STEP daughter.” The sharp look Catherine shoots Beth seems worse than lethal.  Catherine: “Who would be foolish enough to say such a thing?” Sionis: “Her daughter, Ryan Wilder.”  Catherine: “And what’s her word worth? That girl is obviously disturbed, and this is a waste of our time.”  Sionis: “Are you suggesting she’s falsifying her story?” Catherine: “I’m not suggesting anything. I’m stating for a fact: my daughter was nowhere near that heinous tragedy.”  Sionis: “Ryan Wilder just watched her mother die in front of her. What reason does she have to come up with such an exaggerated lie?” Catherine: “That misguided child just doesn’t want to be held accountable for her mistakes, and it’s a shame her mother’s life was the ultimate price for them. That neighborhood they lived in was so rotten, it must have had a hold on her, and it’s no wonder Cora felt the need to protect herself with a firearm. We took care of Cora - treated her like family. But, honestly, I’m quite horrified to think she was in my home, near my children with that God awful thing.” The outright offense, shock, and disappointment seeping out of every word and gesture Catherine relays is hard to argue with. She is putting on a very impressive performance, and it is swaying this detective who has had years on the job, talking circles around criminals. Cathrine Hamilton isn’t his usual criminal though…Nothing about this is typical. Sionis: “I don’t know, Catherine. Why would she pluck your names out of thin air?” Catherine: “It's not out of thin air. It’s our building she and her mother were moving into. To think, I tried to help get them somewhere safer by offering them a nice place that they could afford. Her mother even told me how worried she was for her daughter, attending that public school - said that she’d gotten into fights... That girl brings trouble with her everywhere she goes.”  Sionis: “I’m not sure I’m following.” Catherine: “Beth, tell Detective Sionis what we discussed on the way here.” Beth rolls her eyes, and receives a squeeze to her hand that jolts her and earns Catherine a death stare of her own. She answers without breaking eye contact with her step mother. Beth: “She came to our school today, saying she wanted to make some new friends, and that she had party favors for anyone who wanted to ditch and follow her to her new apartment.”  Sionis: “And your friends went, but not you…?” Catherine: “Of course she didn’t.” Sionis: “Ms. Kane?” She finally faces and answers him, almost verbatim. Beth: “Of course I didn’t.” Sionis: “Why would you pass up on a party? No offense, but it’s not exactly a secret that you’re pretty out and about.”  Cathrine: “And that’s exactly why I’ve had her coming home after school to help me coordinate the annual Christmas Charity Drive. She’s learning some responsibility. We’ve received a number of generous donations, and she spent the afternoon with me, organizing everything that needs to be wrapped.” Sionis finally takes a seat in his chair, and drops his shoulders. It’s as if he’s having a conversation with himself. Could the family he spends Christmas time with, giving back to the community every year, really have been involved in a scene that involved drugs and a shooting, in a neighborhood so far from their home and their children’s school? Granted, the kids present during the arrest also attend the same school, but this family is separate from even their peers… Them being targeted isn’t a completely far-fetched idea. He releases a breath, apparently coming to a decision.  Sionis: “That is a very lovely event you plan, Mrs. Hamilton. My team really enjoyed themselves last year.” He smiles at her, and they exchange a knowing glance stemming from shared memories. Sure, donations are collected, but that’s not what makes them look forward to attending the event each year.

Catherine: “It was a wonderful night; we were able to help a lot of families together. They depend on us, Roman. So, I’d love it if we could get back to our important work.” 

Sionis: “Fair enough. I wouldn’t want to get in the way of them receiving their meals and presents. But, we’ll be in touch if we have any other questions.”

Catherine: “I’d expect nothing less.”

And with that, they were free to go. Nothing Ryan said from that point on could unplant Catherine’s seeds. It was easier for Roman Sionis to believe that a kid he didn’t know, from a lower income neighborhood and attending a public school could convince some rich kids to get into trouble than to wrap his mind around the fact that a wealthy family had a daughter who was the trouble. His allegiance was to his own community, which he was barely a part of himself. At the time, Roman wasn’t a member of the elite based on his earnings or his reputation. However, his jurisdiction and agreeable relationship with The Crows made him valuable. The Kanes knew how to protect their assets. 

Whether Ryan’s case made him want to put distance between his decision to press charges against her and the outcome, or get closer to the people in power and position to influence the ending to cases like hers, Roman changed his career trajectory from Chief of Police to District Attorney. He pursued a law degree, and became a prosecutor within the years that Ryan was serving time. There did seem to be more prestige associated with law manipulators than there was for law enforcers. He could even pursue anything from being a Judge to a life in politics from this side of the law.

When Ryan was released from the facility, she was suddenly wealthy beyond measure thanks to her inheritance from Lucius Fox, but she couldn’t really make sense of that. The funds she’d been gifted sat untouched in an account with her name on it. She needed to at least try to find her way back to what she previously understood to be a normal life. 

She'd taken a job bussing tables at a bar that was much mustier and darker than the one she lives above now. It was always cloudy with smoke and noisy with belligerence. Even still, there was an odd comfort to the chaos. In juvie, angry children created a similar sound effect, and even while she hated every moment of her time there, the detention center was what she was most familiar with after having lived there for so many years. Her basement apartment provided some of that sensation, as it too was relatively dark and small, but the silence was almost impossible to sit with; the only time she’d been that alone was when she was forcefully isolated after fights…

One night while working at the bar, she was clearing used glasses from a table that was waiting for their next round, and her ears tuned into hushed strategizing among the small group of suited men seated around it. One of their voices she knew too well, because she’d replayed it in her mind so many times, trying to figure out how she’d ended up where she had. She was instantly taken back to that interrogation room - the first dark, windowless room that was like a sneak peek into her future. She was suddenly fourteen again, with no guardian or legal representation to protect her. 

She remembers sitting alone with a tall, white man, with slicked back hair, a charismatic voice, and a tone of authority from his years of experience. He'd asked her questions about school, and her neighborhood, seeming empathetic about what it must be like to be a Black kid growing up in a single parent home, and having to spend a lot of time on her own, being trusted to make responsible choices. He imagined it must feel lonely and challenging to not always have a parent around to take you to after school activities, or help you figure out who you should be making friends with.

Ryan had tried to talk about how close she and her mama were, and how they had had community through the church. Her mama wasn’t raising her alone… But the truth was, Cora worked long hours at the Kanes. Ryan did spend a lot of time trying to contribute where she could, to keep their home in order. She and her mama were a team…

Ryan's attention returns to the customers' conversation when Roman Sionis slams his fist against the table, somewhat quietly, trying to make the point that he’s serious about what he’s saying without drawing too much attention to his companions, which she’d later find out were the man who replaced him and ultimately became Captain, and his ADA, Arthur Brown. She begins spraying and wiping down a nearby table to stay within earshot of their discussion. 

Sionis: “I will not allow her to go down for this. She’s my daughter. It’s my job to protect her.” Captain: “She’s not a child, Sionis. How did you see this ending?” Arthur: “Look, we need a plan.” Captain: “WE? I’m not a part of this.” Roman looks at the new police captain with intention, like there’s no point in the captain trying to pretend he doesn’t know what part he’s expected to play in this. Arthur: “You’re here, aren’t you?” Captain: “No! Hell no! I’m not losing my job for you two.” Sionis: “After everything we’ve been through…” The captain lets his head fall. Clearly they’d buried secrets before, and it was time to do it again.

Now, Ryan pulls herself out of her memories, and clicks on the video that matters most in these discovered files. She trims a clip that’s incriminating, but that doesn’t show who’s doing the crime. She zooms in, so there will be no mistaking who was harmed in the incident. Then, she picks up her phone. 

Luke: “Hey, I’m downstairs.”

Ryan hesitates to respond, and then allows herself one small concession. 

Ryan: “How is she?”

Luke: “There are a lot of people here; apparently word got around about Ms. Moore ending up in the hospital, and they came to show their support. Of course, Ms. Moore couldn't stay away from this place. She’s at least seated at a table, but I think Sophie’s too busy managing her, their visitors, and the bar to be much of anything right now.”

Ryan isn’t even going to pretend to be surprised that Luke understood who she meant, and she’s somewhat relieved that her promise to check on the Moores probably won’t be top of mind for them. 

Luke: “I’m guessing you’re not on your way down to ask me whatever it is you called about, in-person.” 

Ryan: “I’m kind of in the middle of something, but I’ll check on them…” 

Ryan doesn’t want to commit to a timeframe, even if it’s only herself she’ll be letting down. 

Luke: “Okay then. What do you need?”

Ryan: “I need you to send a video in an untraceable email to Roman’s campaign manager.”

Luke: “Send it to me, and I’ll handle it as soon as I leave here.” 

Ryan: “Sent.” 

Luke: “Great.”

Ryan ends the call, and sets her phone down on the table. She pushes her laptop to the side, and pulls her mama’s box closer to her. Finally, she digs out the journal and flips to the letter that comes closest to breaking her heart every time she reads it. 

Dear Daughter, I want to share a moment of reflection and gratitude I experienced today with you. I believe that people often have more in common than we don't. Regardless to our upbringing, our access, and our exposure, many of us are trying our best to overcome our hardships and make the most out of the time we've been given. Running the Kane's kitchen and making sure their family is well fed might not be seen as glamorous work, but it's an honest living and it allows me to do what I love while being respected and appreciated. It also reminds me not to make too many assumptions about people I'd previously struggled to relate to.  Catherine Hamilton has a daughter your age named Mary.  As Asian Americans, they often have a hard time finding their place in their own home. Catherine was a single mother until a few years ago. While her wealth thanks to her success in her company means her challenges are not exactly the same as mine, taking care of a child on your own is not easy for any parent. Like me, she also doesn't have other relatives to depend on. So the responsibility of making decisions about how to care for her child has been solely on her.  I believe that helps us understand each other. We share knowing glances when she's mothering Mary in one way or another. If you call me at work with a question, and she catches the end of a conversation, she'll smile at me with compassion. She's always supportive when I ask for flexibility so that I can be present when and where you need me. I read the articles about her. They say she's cold, and prioritizes her success above everything else. I've seen a different side of her though, and so you can't always judge a book by its cover. Her daughter is like you in a lot of ways, too. She's not expecting or entitled the way her step sisters can be. She's responsible, independent, and most of all kind. No matter how those Kane girls treat her, and even though she's two years younger, she's always doing what she can to help them. Her mother's love and example has to have something to do with that. Today, I told Catherine that I had saved enough and that I'd like to start a restaurant. I believed her building would be the perfect location for us, and I hoped she wouldn't be too let down about me leaving my role in her kitchen to pursue my dream. To my surprise she suggested we move into the apartment above the unit where my restaurant would be. Without hesitation, she picked up the phone and started making arrangements for me to meet with the individuals I'd need to so I could lease the two places. I'm sharing this because we live in a world where you might look across those train tracks and assume no one on the other side of them will ever understand or embrace you. But you have to give people the chance to see you if you want to be seen. You have to be open to the possibility that there's more to someone than the external things that seem to separate you. And, the more we can each walk over those tracks to get to know our neighbors, the closer we'll all eventually feel to each other. Don't limit your own ability to learn about someone else's experience based on how they seem from a far. There's often more to the story.  I'm so excited about this next chapter of our lives together, and appreciative of everything that led to us getting here. Your Mama, Cora

Cora had dreams she was close to reaching, and she never got the chance to see them manifest. She related to people who didn’t truly value or respect her. She had faith and believed in people that didn’t deserve her trust. She gave so much and, in the end, she lost everything. 

~~~~~

To be continued...

Reminder Time:

Come back next Friday for part three.

All #Batwoman things I do now are in the name of #SaveBatwoman. Go follow all the social handles and support the cause, please. Have you signed the petition? https://www.change.org/p/savebatwoman

[ashlynniis-bracketeers]

ENIGMATIC ALCHEMIST {Guilty Gear OC}

MERRY CRISIS.

HAVE SOMETHING THAT TOOK ME FOREVER. MIMICKING THE STRIVE PORTRAIT STYLE IS A PAIN IN THE ASS. I DON'T HAVE ANY 3D RENDERS TO TRACE JERRY.

I actually got this done last night, but it was too damn late to be doing anything other than going to bed afterwards lmao.

The Guilty Gear brainrot has gotten strong enough for me to make an OC for it, so meet Desdinova. With how much GG likes rock music, I decided to base them off a song by Blue Öyster Cult song/album that I like: Astronomy (I prefer the Secret Treaties version, admittedly, but I still like the Imaginos version) and Imaginos in general. I mean, Imaginos/Desdinova (two names for the same character) is a gender bending shapeshifter with powers derived from aliens and the stars, all while being involved in an ancient conspiracy that eventually involves multiple interdimensional obsidian mirrors, they're basically already a GG character lmao.

Extra notes:

- Genderfluid. Pronouns are a mixture of he/him, he/they, she/her, she/they, they/them, and it/its.

- Their braid acts more like a prehensile tail.

- The white pupils are not a stylistic choice.

- They're older than they look. How much? Just guess, they won't confirm anything.

- Their height and weight are extremely variable, though they often will default to 6'3" (190.5 cm). They will mess with you if asked for their weight.

- They're not actually that flexible or athletic. They could shapeshift to be more flexible or athletic... it just doesn't cross their mind. They just want to run their bar for void's sake.

- They have a... complicated relationship with Goldlewis. Probably.

I hope you like it!

I'm going to be posting the sketches the eventually led up to this UNDER A CUT. Because it's not like this damn thing isn't big enough already lmao.

The FIRST Desdinova sketch

Yep, just the first concrete sketch I ever did of Desdinova's concept lmao.

Second Desdinova sketch

The second go-around of their design, featuring color. Even earlier versions were actually quite green lmao.

Third Desdinova sketch

The third sketch, featuring a bunch of extra fancy details I ended up adding. Also some concepts for their bag, shaker, and thrown bottles.

Desdinova sketch revision

A revised version derived from the previous, mostly revising the back vest details.

Desdinova shoulders and cape sketch

Just their shoulder straps and cape. A cleaner version of the cape will appear later.

Desdinova clean bag sketch

Technically a cleaned-up version of a previous sketch page. Their fancy hammerspace bag.

Desdinova fullbody finalized sketch

Basically the design I settled on. Done in the style of a lot of shown GG Strive concept art.

Desdinova alternateforms sketch

Genderfluid shapeshifter is gonna genderfluid shapeshift.

Desdinova cleaner sketch 01

A cleaner sketch of their face and hair clip done in the style of some shown-off GG Strive concept art, along with their irises/pupils

Desdinova cleaner sketch 02

Similar to the previous, but with their vest, tie, spangles, and various buttons.

Desdinova cleaner sketch gloves

Their weird gloves and little obsidian thingies.

Desdinova cleaner sketch cape and belt

A cleaner version of their cape + fancy belt buckle.

Desdinova cleaner sketch shoes

Decided to give them some fancy shoe treads/soles like Gio and Faust.

Desdinova normals and taunt 01

You FOOL. We've got MOVES IN THIS BITCH.

Yeah, their braid can glow lmao.

Desdinova normals 02

MORE MOVES.

The doggy's name is Sirius 83

Desdinova normals air

AIR MOVES 83

Desdinova misc and throw

Burst, RC, regular throw, air throw, regular throw whiff + air, command throw + command throw whiff. I gave 'em a bouncer throw lmao.

Desdinova shakerandtonic concept 01

The finalized shaker design + thrown potions/tonics.

Desdinova tonic specials

Now for their specials! They've got one hell of a throwing arm.

Desdinova overdrives

OVERDRIIIIIVES.

The name of their first Overdrive is a reference to Blueshift (wavelength change as something comes closer) and the term "86" (to abandon/discard/throw away). The name of their second Overdrive is derived from the term "Hair of the dog that bit you" (as in, drinking more alcohol to fight the effects of a hangover) and referencing Sirius the "dog star".

[gisellelx]

For the fanfic author asks do you want to talk about: 6, 30, and/or 42?

Thanks, @palmofafreezinghand

6. How do you come up with ideas?

In fanfic, I write the stories I want to read for which I can't find a version I love. Almost all of my fics come from me basically just wanting to be a voyeur: "The Talk," my first fic, was me reading the line in BD where Edward mentioned he'd talked to Carlisle about having sex and me thinking, "Well now that had to have been an interesting conversation!" So I wrote what I thought happened. They also come from conversations with people--Ithaca Is Gorges came from talking with my bestest bestie about the fact that as you get older, you start realizing that your parents are fallible people, and that one of the biggest problems with the Twilight saga is that Bella is taking Edward at face value when he has not ever managed to get to that point with Carlisle and Esme. So what do the Cullens look like when they're not filtered by Edward?

Also I was trained to write characters first; plot second. So "ideas" for me usually are "okay, in this situation, how would this character logically respond, given all the things they hold dear, are afraid of, think are at stake?" I don't think of plots first. Plots emerge (and frustratingly, keep emerging.)

30. What do you struggle with most when writing?

Perfectionism. So, so much perfectionism. I very often see something that needs to go first before I can write the second thing, and then if I can't write the first thing, it doesn't matter if the second thing is more white hot. It's the main reason I've shifted to fully drafting long fics and only posting fics that consist of what are effectively related one-shots: Cien Años right now has been stuck because there's a chapter with Rose and Esme I need in order to establish something about what Esme thinks of Carlisle before I go to one of Esme and Carlisle 70 years later. But I've been having issues with that one. I will obsess over pieces of a work and over individual sentences until they truly pass muster, and, if I decide there's something else that belongs in the work, I will edit it later. I appreciated your tag comment btw, and also laughed about it because I revise everything. Sideblog answers? Yep. Headcanon posts? Yep. This post? Yep! I will move beats around in a sentence on a reddit post so that it has the rhythm I want it to have, even though there's absolutely no creative merit in it at all.

I used to be way better at just writing and letting stuff stick but not anymore. The other day one of my collaborators talked about her writing process and described mine as "Oh and then [giselle-lx] just produces these perfect sentences that say exactly what we all mean" and I was like, "No I have just already edited five times before I put them into Overleaf!"

42. How do you get over writers' block?

I...don't? I'm staring at a fic in Scrivener that hasn't been updated since 2019 and which I started drafting in 2010. And like I said above, been stuck on another work for a year.

But the thing which works the most reliably is reading. When I read, whether nonderivative stuff (which is mostly what I read--I am a bad fanfic reader, I confess!) or fic, my brain starts sparking with ideas and then I can get going again. If I'm struggling to get words down, it's usually a sign I need to read more.

Oh and the other thing which reliably creates writing is getting the hell off social media. Every single time I am serious about that practice, my brain just rebels at how bored it is and starts writing. "Ordinary Time" happened after I deprived my brain of social media for a month, and "Drying Up" happened after I deprived it for merely a long weekend. I know this in my soul, and yet... :/ :shakes fist at Mark Zuckerberg:

Ask me things!

[profesionalpartyguest]

I posted 975 times in 2022

That's 975 more posts than 2021!

236 posts created (24%)

739 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@2fingerswhiskey

@girlsjustwannahaveadegree

@profesionalpartyguest

@annieshowell

@sixamese-simblr

I tagged 507 of my posts in 2022

Only 48% of my posts had no tags

#sims 2 - 95 posts

#ts2 - 80 posts

#ramblings - 51 posts

#non sims - 51 posts

#sims 2 download - 50 posts

#the uberhood - 35 posts

#s2cc - 32 posts

#sims 2 cc - 29 posts

#sims 2 maxis match - 28 posts

#widespot - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#alien university townie pool of alt mr bigs and divas (with different faces) townie pool but with just teens and kids and desiderata valley

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Jenna Marbles "HELL YEAH" eyebrows for the sims 2

"if ur a crackhead like jenna marbles your eyebrows would say HELL YEAH"- Steph0sims @microscotch posted about how she wanted those hell yeah eyebrows i was working on, so i decided to finish this bitch up. These come in one pitch black (they're drawn on, since no bitch is this chaotic naturally) Download here

148 notes - Posted November 27, 2022

#4

Fairlake University- A University for Riverblossom Hills!

"Fairlake was founded in the 19th century to serve as a source of higher education to those living in the isolated hills. Small and lovely, this place has kept it's soul all the years" This is a custom university made for Riverblossom hills (although it could fit any rural hood), compromising of 15 lots (2 dorms, 5 residential lots and 8 community lots) and 11 characters (including some familiar names) across 4 households. DOWNLOAD HERE CC needed: College hood decorations Life Stories Build Collection Special Thanks to: @jawusa being so kind and motivating me :D! Members of @lazyduchess's server for giving me the idea My friend @rsimss903 for playtesting. Enjoy! if you post any gameplay please tag me!

156 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

#3

Millennial Values, Puritan Customs- the name mod

inspired by some tumblr post alongside @penig and @withlovefromsimtown, here's name mod which adds 60 horrific unisex first names. works like any townie name mod, just with worse names. download here

210 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

#2

KIDS AND TEENS TOWNIE POOL!! this is a shopping district containing 24 townies (6 male teens, 6 female teens, 6 female children, 6 male children) ready for your usage! these were requested by my friends @veronaviile and @average-vidcund-enjoyer (shout out to the latter, who was obsessed with my takemizu townies). Enjoy! download link here! install if by putting it in the neighborhoodtemplate folder in the OFB folder/ Best of Business folder

216 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Fix for broken "Break Up" Want

my first ever mod, a fix for broken maxis coding, this case being the "Break Up" want. This want is now appears in the wants panel for adults and elders sims of all aspirations, instead of not being rolled at all

Download here conflicts with any custom WantTrees package, future revision with other wants fixes coming soon

Notes: The want does not appear originally because no ages (adult, elders , teens, children etc.) are checked on the panels, and only two of the three packages have any aspirations checked (romance and family) with the third having not having ANYTHING checked, so yeah. Additional special thanks to @simnopke for finding the wants that relate to it and setting up the foundation of this mod. @lamare-sims for noticing that my dumbass uploaded the wrong thing O_O , it got lost cause this upload went through 4 revisions so far (not including the mashup with dreadpirate's want trees)

879 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bthearst]

update #2.

NaNoWrimo, BookTwitter, Rejections -- oh my!

THIS IS A LONG ONE.

It's been a doozy of a month with the beginning of the holidays, nighttime knocking on my frosty bedroom window by 4:30pm, and the ongoing decline of the accursed bird app. The days keep coming and they don't stop coming.

Starting off this post with a celebration of the devastating total of 20k words achieved on this year's Nano project. It's only devastating because, as a completionist, seeing goals left unmet is the equivalent of taking 10d6 damage to the soul. Last year saw the birth of The Unbinding, with 50k written in November and another 20k added at the beginning of December to round up its first draft. I thought that with that manuscript currently being queried, I would be able to tackle a fresh new story, and this was my first mistake which turned into a necessary lesson, one I've been fighting for the last three weeks.

You see, The Unbinding is the first project that I have ever seriously committed to publishing through traditional means. I've been writing for upwards of 15 years and it wasn't until summer of 2021 that I came to accept that I could, and should, hold myself to the same esteem that I hold my favorite writers to. This meant that I would be buckling down, rewriting, and revising a story I truly fell in love with. Revising is like pulling teeth for me, so I established myself as a one-and-done type of person from the get-go. Outline and outline well, leave no scene unscrutinized. This meant I had a pretty solid base, an impenetrable one, when I began last year's Nano. So, five drafts in (five!), I decided that this was as good as the manuscript was getting. I called it a day, participated in two whole Twitter pitch events, and sent out my first query batch.

Every writer is different. I've read about writers pitching third drafts, fourth, tenth, twentieth, and landing agents. After all, the amount of revising that goes into a book is never-ending. After all, by the time some agents get back to you, you'll be another two revisions in.

This is hubris speaking. Don't you fucking listen to it.

I set this manuscript aside for three whole months. Had it sent to beta readers go through it while I focused on other things. And it was all well and good until I realized that nothing -- nothing -- that I put down on this year's Nano felt right. Every word felt rushed, wrong, empty, and while yes sometimes this is what it's like to write a first draft, I realized that I just wasn't having fun with it. The story may be good, but I was fighting something else inside my head that I didn't want to acknowledge, and that's that The Unbinding wasn't ready. I was tackling a new project and 'abandoning' something that held me in a vice grip for the better part of ten months.

"But, Mitch," you say, "if it wasn't ready, why the hell did you start querying it?!" One word (Or two, depending on how you look at it.): BookTwitter.

Twitter is the internet's hub for writers trying to break out into the scene. You have your users who post daily prompts for writers to QRT with their nifty little graphics and fun snippets of their epics, promos left and right, follow chains, the whole shebang. It's a place where young authors build a readership based off engagement and the wringing of the algorithm.

I am not a Twitter person. Sure I've been using the app in tandem with Tumblr since 2011, but I've never been savvy at it. Good lord did I try to be savvy though, engaging with said games and graphics but alas, I'm also not a graphic designer so my moodboards weren't as stunning as those WIP spotlights with 200+ notes.

That being said, I plucked a handful of books during my year-long foray into that side of the internet. It's a great platform to find diverse books by diverse authors, but it's also a place that is oversaturated with everything. Advice from querying writers, authors prepping for their debuts, agents searching for manuscripts, all going by at rapid speeds. The dreaded "this is what's selling so if you want to sell your manuscript you need to jump on it RIGHT NOW or else you'll miss your window".

So I did. Queer Gothics are in right now, I saw an opportunity, and I took it. Even when the story felt like it needed work, I went for it. I wanted to be in with the cool kids, wanted to make friends with all these hip zoomers clawing their way into tradpub. I focused so much on it that I lost sight of what truly mattered-- writing the story I need to write. Writing is rewriting, after all. I wasn't sick and tired of looking at this manuscript. In fact, I was still excited to work on it, make it into the best thing it could possibly be.

Since the whole Musky Man debacle started going down, I decided to simply cut back on my Twitter usage. It was making me miserable for a variety of reasons, but mainly because it isn't just for writing or the laughs. There's no way to curate that damn place, so one tweet will be about this cool new book that I would want to preorder and the next is about mass shootings and the government sanctioned genocide of trans people. As a trans QPOC, I literally cannot continue to split what little brain power I can spare towards creativity between doomscrolling and trying to squeeze myself into zoomer spaces.

I'm a writer. A cave-dwelling hermit. I am not designed to market myself, I do not have an algorithm-based software in my brain that enables me to build engagement, to grow my follower number on Twitter so that when agents ask me to link my profile on their query tracker submissions they can look at it and go "oh yes we can get a best-seller upon launch on these numbers alone!" It's exhausting. I'm an adult who's constantly fighting for their life, to make ends meet, to keep a roof over my head, to not spiral into depression every time I see another gut-wrenching article. There aren't enough hours in the day for me to blast on social media while also trying to write a damn book.

Shit's fucked, lads. I wish I had an answer to this. I don't. All I can do is step away, recalibrate, buckle down on creating, and start swinging again.

In short, The Unbinding is facing a major rewrite. Restructuring the plot for many a reason. Of the ten queries I sent out, I've gotten three rejections, and the jury's still out on the other seven.

I'm actually not discouraged by said rejections, either. There's this feeling of accomplishment that comes with every one I receive, an opportunity to learn, the understanding that I'm here, that I've done it, that I have something to put out in the world. It's daunting, terrifying, exhausting, but goddamn am I enjoying the ride. With any luck I won't get any full manuscript requests now that I've decided to go back in, but if it does happen, I'll just be completely honest with them.

I'm also fairly certain that my query packet was a hot fucking mess because I'm not joking when I say I have no idea what I'm doing. Beta readers? Critiques? Nah. I'm rawdogging this shit (for now).

BUT ALL OF THIS ASIDE---

The Wilds (first longer-ish play) has been workshopped and is currently in its second draft. What was meant to be a one-act has grown to a considerable length, but we're going with the flow and seeing where it takes us.

The Untitled Folk Horror story is still in the pre-drafting stage. I'm knee-deep in research, found some good sources while learning that my researcher badge on campus has finally been revoked thanks to me graduating last May, so things are getting a little harder to find. Who knew it would be this hard to find anything about a colonized culture from its own people rather than their colonizers, especially when two whole powers did their best to destroy everything during their invasions? Hurr.

So yeah. This concludes this very long post. Went to the library today to pick up a book I had placed on hold, ended up walking out with three whole books. Said book is What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher, and depending on if the mood strikes, I'll write a little review on it on here!

Cheers.

[valcuda]

- Picnic With Big Sis

Jasmin taking Quinton and Elizabeth out for a picnic. Like my previous work, this is a scene from a short story I have planned (I have 3 full books that come before it, and only 1 has a competed draft, so don't expect it any time soon), with this one taking place a bit prior to that one, with Jasmin taking Quin and Liz to the place they'll eventually cloud gaze at.

Also like that one, I made a 3D scene as a pose draft, with that picnic basket actually being a 3D model I made and rigged specifically for this! This gave a bit of difficulty, since Jasmin's Mannequin's hand, was blocking part of the basket that's visible in the final artwork!

When I was originally planning the scene, I thought about just having Jasmin doing nothing with her hand, until I decided to make her holding the lid open, so Quin and Liz could see. I didn't consider the fact I was now making the hand a focal point of the artwork! And when I did realize that, I nearly cried, cause I absolutely suck at drawing hands! But using a mashup of knowledge I've heard over the years, and some good guesses, I managed to make the best hand I think I've ever drawn!

And holly crap am I glad I decided to draw it! The sense of scale you get from seeing Quinton and Elizabeth that close to her hand, it really puts into perspective how small they are! I also think it's cute, having her holding the basket open for them, and it shows you a bit of a difference between Quinton and Elizabeth! Quinton trusts Jasmin, so he's fine just sticking his head out, trusting Jasmin won't accidentally smack his head with the lid. Elizabeth however, is a bit more cautious, not really trusting people as much as Quinton does, so she has her hand on the lid in case Jasmin lets go.

Something you'll probably notice is that Quinton and Elizabeth are seemingly frowning. They were smiling originally, but I thought giving them a mild frown makes them look more curious, which I thought was cuter, compared to them smiling. Though it kinda looks like they just realized Jasmin tricked them.

Anyways, I decided to not finish this in my painting style, since that was meant as more of a crutch originally. With v2 of Cloud Gazing, I said I was debating making it's line draft into it's own piece, just due to how good it looked, and that was kinda thanks to the "Painting Style" leaving out a ton of detail. So with this, I decided to finish it in my usual style. However, I did the shading differently, using a digital paintbrush, and doing it all on one layer. Usually, I plan out the shades, do them all on their own layers, combine them, and blend, which is really slow! This new method was a lot faster, and it worked wonders on Quinton and Elizabeth! It definitely has its flaws tho. I might end up revising this sometime down the line.

Something incredibly ironic, is that I have yet to shade Elizabeth's actual artwork! Meaning she got shaded in some misc artwork, before her actual artwork. Past me would be so dumbfounded if he knew.

Anyways, I don't know exactly how long I worked on this for, but I can definitely say it took longer than Cloud Gazing! I wanted so badly to finish this yesterday, that I stayed up til 3AM, doing the final linework, which is why it's a bit sloppy in some parts! This is despite me having post saying it wouldn't release that day, at 10 PM.

Hell, I wanted to release it so bad, I made 80% of this post last night, cause I was seriously considering uploading the non-shaded version! I'm so glad I didn't tho. It doesn't look bad unshaded, but the shading ties it together IMO.

-

Anyway, I don't know when my next artwork will be, or what it'll be about, since I'm a bit burnt out from this sudden art rush XD I pushed the limits of what I thought I could do, and while that is thanks to making a simple 3D as an initial draft, it still feels absolutely amazing! I definitely still need quite a bit of practice though.

Anyways, that's all for now!