#i have an ecg tomorrow at 10am

[dogbunni]

HELTH SUX!!!! (eating paste)

[jadeclaymoresworld]

Been feeling sick and nervous all day.

Finally quitting my job tomorrow.

This week I ended up going to hospital with chest pains, back pains and breathing problems.

Everything was clear, they took bloods and did an ECG and it was all clear.

The day after I was in hospital I had off work because I didn't get back home till the early hours of the morning.

Day after that I went back to work, fully knowing it was going to hurt because I hadn't gotten over what ever is wrong with me.

I told my boss during that morning shift that I was in pain and having trouble breathing and didn't think I'd be able to do the evening shift.

When I left the morning shift, she told me that they were fucked for the evening shift because I wasn't well enough to work it.

This morning, on my scheduled day off, she text me at 11:10am, when we start work at 11:30am, and asked me if I was working.

I said no, because it was a scheduled day off and I had plans.

She replied saying, so I wasn't well enough to work the night before, but am still going ahead with my plans.

I told her my plans were for my friend to come to my house, so I could try on a bridesmaid dress, for her wedding in October.

I didn't leave the house, I didn't do anything else today.

But she made me feel like shit.

So tomorrow I'm quitting. I already have another job lined up thankfully.

I am worried about how the conversation is gonna go.

She's already in a bad mood with me, so I know she's going to get aggressive, I know I'm going to cry, but I can't work for her any long.

I love the job, I love the people I work with, and I will miss the, but her attitude during the summer months is really taking a toll on my mental health.

I wake up every morning and dread going to work, because I don't know if she will be in a good mood or a bad mood.

I'm going to miss working with two people, but one of them is leaving on the 17th of August anyway.

[freeingames-blog]

Nailed It 🔨🔨🔨

Admission day (27th April Thursday). I arrived at 10am to the EDU and had a whirlwind 2 hours of 💉bloods, 👎🏻braless ECGs, blood sugars, signatures, 📇📊paperwork, meeting doctors and nurses etc. All the staff have been lovely and supportive so far.

Meals! Oh my goodness. I have DONE IT. I have completed 100% of the diet today and feel stuffed/overwhelmed.

¥ Lunch was ½ chicken 🍗mayo sandwich, side salad, crisps then vanilla 🍦ice cream.

¥ Dinner was beef chilli🌶, rice, carrots then ½ pineapple 🍍sponge with custard.

¥ Supper is going to be branflakes cereal.

I have not felt too horrid as portion sizes have been somewhat manageable. It is just a shock to have all the different types of food I think. I felt very strong urges about two hours after lunch to partake in self-damaging behaviours. I avoided this fairly easily by getting my sewing out then went to sleep. Then once I’d woken I could think clearly and repeatedly reminded self of what I am set on: life free ☮from all of this.

I have chosen challenges tomorrow including chips, a roasted veg tart, red cherry pie. I also have to have a breakfast too which is cereal and toast. I know I can do this now though as I have done it on my first day which is always the hardest. I have proven myself today and the nurses are impressed and I will never lose this focus💕.

The other patients seem nice but I am not here to make friends. I’m not here to socialise or even make conversation. I am here to get back to my real life - to get back to reconstructing it with my family around me. As post meal support is about half the time it was at The Priory, I don’t need to be in the lounge much at all. I will mainly be in my room 📚reading and ✒️writing and planning life <3

I spent a lot of time at The Priory caring for other patients, becoming involved in their food issues, copying behaviours without realising, comparing myself, feeling crap about new patients etc. It is completely toxic🆘❌ to become close to people with this disorder and I will not be doing that this time. I am focused on myself.

Goals goals goals & it is only the first day!