#i have been a fan of hers since i was 12 years old. i lived through the drought. like…

[sturniluvr]

meet my girlfriend

Matt sturniolo x fem!reader

word count: 2,294

warnings: couple spelling mistakes, a couple swear words, lots of fluff (a bit cheesy😅), italics = flashbacks

summary: Matt and childhood friend Y/N announce their relationship on his personal channel.

A/N: Matt is 18 in this fic and reader is 17 as said in fic!

❗️semi proof read❗️

Matt sets up the camera on the dashboard, his best friend of 12 years and girlfriend of 2 years in the car seat next to him. Matt hears Y/N let out a sigh, he looked to his side and saw Y/N looking nervous. 

“It’ll be fine my love. The fans already love you, announcing that you're my girlfriend won’t change that, I promise.” Matt says, grabbing her hand and rubbing his thumb across her knuckles in a comforting manner. “We don’t have to tell the fans if you don’t want to darling. It’s completely up to you.” He added on as he lifts her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. 

“No, I want to do it. Just some silly nerves that’s all.” She replied, intertwining their hands and smiling at Matt. 

“You ready?” He asks. 

“Yeah, press record.” 

Matt hits record and started to talk to the camera, his hand still intertwined with Y/N’s. 

“Hey guys, welcome to my personal channel, where I will be posting content without Nick and Chris. I won’t post as often on here, but I will try my best.” Matt starts with a little laugh before continuing.  

“For my first video on this channel, as you could probably guess by the title, I’m going to introduce you to my girlfriend, she’s a girl that many of you will be familiar with and if not then she’s about to introduce herself.” He added on, Matt gestures for Y/N to introduce herself, she gives a little wave and smile to the camera. 

“Hi everyone, most of you already know me but for those of you who don’t, hi, my name is Y/N and as Matt said, I am his girlfriend. I’m 17 years old, unfortunately I’m still in high school unlike Matthew here” she points to Matt and he lets out a little laugh at her dislike for high school before she carried on introducing herself.

“I just started my senior year, and like the triplets, I am from originally from Boston and I have known the triplets since I was in second grade and they were in third grade I think, is that right?” She looked over to Matt for confirmation to which he nodded. 

“Yep. She’s been in our lives since we were 8 and she was 7. She’s known us longer than Trevor!” He jokes, the couple chuckled together at his random fact. 

“Anyway, today, in honour of announcing our relationship, we’ve decided to answer some questions. I posted a question box on my Instagram story and we’re just going to scroll through and answer some of them.” Matt states. 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened up Instagram and clicked on his story to see the questions. He read out the first question. 

“Okay, first question is ‘how did you guys meet?’ you wanna answer it Y/N/N?” she nodded before answering.  

“So, I actually met Nick first out of the triplets, mine and Nick’s science classes got merged one day because my teacher was sick and me and Nick got paired for a project together. Me and Nick became friends and one day he invited me to his house after school, and that’s how I met Matt and Chris, and we were all inseparable ever since. I constantly got them mixed up until they were about 14.” she replies, Matt and Y/N both smiling at the memory of how many times she got the triplets mixed up. Matt handed his phone to Y/N to read out the next question. 

“Okay next question is ‘who made the first move?’ Matt surprisingly, made the first move, I’ll let him tell the story of how it happened.”  

“So, it’s a pretty cliche story, but we were at a party for our high school’s sports teams and cheerleaders which we both had to be at since she’s a cheerleader and I was on the lacrosse team. Me, Chris, Nick, Y/N and a few other people were playing spin the bottle and it was my turn to spin and it landed on Y/N. At this point I’d had a crush on Y/N since we were in middle school, but I just never ‘had the balls to do anything about it’ as Chris would always say to me.” He rolls his eyes, remembering all the times Chris had tried to get Matt to tell Y/N how he felt. He carried on telling the story.

“So obviously, me and Y/N kissed and then the day after at school, I left a note in her locker asking her out on a date, obviously, she said yes to the date and low and behold, 2 years later, here we are. Pretty cheesy but, hey, what can you do about a man in love?” He shrugged his shoulders with a small smirk on his face. 

“Fun fact, I still have the note to this day.” Y/N stated proudly, looking at the camera. Matt looked over at her shocked. 

“You do?” He asked, looking at his girl in pure adoration. She looked at Matt and nodded her head, smiling at him. She handed him his phone back so he could read the next question. 

“Okay, next question ‘what are you lockscreens on your phones? and what is the story behind them if there is one’”  

Y/N pulled out her own phone and Matt locked his so that he was ready to show his lockscreen. She turned her phone around and showed her lockscreen. (a/n: pretend it’s Matt😭)

“Mine is a picture of Matt from a couple weeks ago. Me and the triplets went to the safari park, and I got this picture of Matt looking at the map and trying to figure out where one of the rides were and thought it was cute.” she smiled at her lockscreen before turning off her phone. 

*flashback to safari park* 

Y/N giggled as Matt looked at the map in his hands, confusion evident on his face. The four of them were stood in the middle of the path, Matt trying to figure out how to get to the log flume. 

“Matt c’mon mannnn” Chris complained. Nick rolled his eyes at his younger brother.  

“Baby, do you need help?” Y/N asked. Matt shook his head. 

“Really? Cause you’ve been looking at the map longer than Nick was looking at the elephants.” she chuckled, and Chris laughed along with her, Nick had spent ten minutes staring at the elephants earlier that day. She walked over to him and looked at the map, trying to help him.  

“I got it, I got it, gimme a second.” Matt said. Another minute passed of Matt looking at the map, looking adorably confused with a little smile on his face, Y/N thought he looked absolutely adorable and quickly took a picture before Matt laughed to himself and smiled as he looked at his brothers and girlfriend.  

“I got it! It’s this way.” he pointed in the direction of the log flume, and they all made their way to the ride. 

*end of flashback* 

Matt turned on his phone and showed his lockscreen to the camera. (a/n: again, pretend it’s y/n and Matt😭)

“Mine is a picture that Nick took of us in the car about a month or so ago. We were going on our annual family trip and as always, Y/N came along with us, and we were parked at the gas station and I noticed Y/N had fell asleep on me and Nick saw and took a picture of us and sent it to me and it’s one of my favourite photos ever” Matt spoke. 

*flashback to the family trip* 

Y/N and Matt were currently sat in the very back on the car with Nick. Chris, Trevor and Justin sat in front of them, and Marylou and Jimmy were sat in the front seats. They were parked at a gas station filling up the car and Y/N was falling asleep with her head in Matt’s lap, sharing headphones with him and Nick was sat on his phone. 

“You tired baby?” Matt whispered, looking down at the sleepy girl in his lap. She let out an incoherent mumbled reply. 

“Look at this TikTok!” Chris said loudly, turning around to face Matt and Nick. Matt shushed him.  

“Y/N’s asleep Chris be quiet!”  

“Shit! sorry, look at this TikTok though” Chris repeated, much quieter. The boys collectively laughed quietly at the TikTok he’d shown them, Chris turned back around and showed Justin the same TikTok. 

Matt moved a piece of hair out of Y/N’s face, smiling at his sleeping girl. Matt was unaware of Nick looking at the couple with a soft smile of his own on his face, he’d always been their biggest supporter ever since they told him about their relationship. Nick quickly opened his camera on his phone and snapped a picture of the couple and immediately sent it to Matt, the younger brother opened the message and a grin automatically grew on his face. 

“Thanks man, I love this photo” Matt spoke as he set the picture as his wallpaper and sending it to Y/N, so she also had a copy of the photo. Nick smiled.  

“Of course, I’m your personal photographer.” He joked and the brothers softly laughed before going back to doing their own thing waiting for Jimmy to get back in the car after filling it up. 

*end of flashback* 

Y/N put her phone back in her pocket and Matt passed her his phone to read the next question.  

“Aww this one is cute ‘what is your favourite memory with one another?’ I love this question” she smiled.

“my favourite memory with Matt is probably last Christmas when Matt woke me up around 4 in the morning because it was snowing so much and he just couldn’t wait to go build a snowman, this kid literally had a jacket and coat and my shoes ready for me and just woke me up.” They both started laughing at the memory from last Christmas and Matt hit his head on the steering wheel as he leaned forward laughing, causing Y/N to laugh even more as Matt held his head in his hand.

“Laughing at my pain, I see how it is missy.” Matt exclaimed, he reached over the center console of his car and started tickling her sides causing the younger girl to yelp out and tears started streaming down her face as he continued to tickle her. 

“Okay I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Y/N shouted, out of breath, softly chuckling as she held her hands up in surrender. She passed Matt’s phone back to him.  

The couple continued to answer questions and laugh with each other replaying memories from as early as their childhood to as recent as last week.  

“Okay, final question, this was asked by quite a few people ‘what is your favourite thing about each other?’ We’ll do one physical aspect and then one personality trait, okay?” Matt spoke and Y/N nodded in agreement before Matt continued. 

“My favourite physical thing about Y/N has gotta be her freckles, I’ll admit that I have caught myself counting the freckles on her face before while she’s been asleep” he admitted with a slight blush creeping up on his cheeks.

“My favourite thing about her personality wise is how persistent she is. I’ve seen her get into heated debates with Nick over the most random things and most of the time she’ll win, and I could honestly sit there for hours watching them argue back and forth, it’s so funny” Matt adds with a laugh and he smiles in Y/N’s direction. 

“It’s true, I’ll never let up if I think my opinion is right.” She said laughing with him. “Anyway, my favourite physical thing about Matt is probably his smile, his has got to be my favourite smile ever!” She said proudly, the blue eyed boy next to her stared at her with a soft expression and a wide smile on his face as she carried on talking.

“My favourite personality trait of Matt’s is how attentive and kind hearted he is, like I remember before he made this channel, we were sat on the couch together and he said he wanted to make this channel to help people who may be struggling with mental health like him and to make it a safe space for everyone. And he’s just such a genuinely great guy and nowadays, that’s pretty hard to come by and I couldn’t be more thankful for him. I can confidently say, I can see Matt being the guy I marry when I’m older.” she finished talking. He smiled at her for what felt like the millionth time this video, his cheeks started to hurt from how much she made him smile. 

“I love you baby” Matt spoke, planting a kiss on her cheek, her cheeks flushed.  

“I love you too Matt. So much.” She replied, smiling at the boy she’d been in love with for as long as she could remember. 

“I hope you enjoyed this video guys, we both enjoyed filming it. We love you. Stay happy and stay smiling.” Matt smiled at the camera and Y/N blew a kiss to the camera before he stopped recording. He put the camera down and looked over to Y/N 

“Did you mean that baby? About me being the guy you’d marry?” He asked her, his eyes full of love. She nodded with a smile on her face. 

“Of course, my love. You’re the best person I’ve ever known. You’re my person” she replied. 

He stretched over the center console and placed a kiss on her lips, both of them smiling into the kiss. 

“You’re my person too darling. I’ll marry you one day I promise.” 

And he did.

They got married a few years later.  

A/N: Lowkey was inspired by @imwetforyourmom one shot that was like this. Hope you don’t mind me stealing your idea ahah🫶🏻😅

[hellishjoel]

dark paradise 

5.2k / pairing: dbf/neighbor!joel x f!reader

Series Masterlist l Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3 pt. 4

summary: Your mind is flooded with the memories of your private time with Joel in his woodshed, but he hasn't reached out to you since the bonfire and it's been a week. You go next door to give him a piece of your mind.

warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), no outbreak, smut, age gap (reader is in her early 20’s, Joel in his 40’s), dbf/neighbor!joel, semi-public sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, pet names, praise, Joel being a horrible communicator and texter

A/N: I edited this 12+ times and kept changing stuff, so therefore there’s probably mistakes. There’s your one and only warning lol. I’m so excited you guys are eating up the first part (off to the races), I hope the next parts to come keep ya’ll entertained ;)

“Joel-” You clenched your eyes closed. “Outside? Are you serious?” Your scolded whispers were useless. Now that Joel knew you had these needs, he wasn’t going to let you be underserved.  He perched one of your legs over his shoulder, the other spread to the side and held open by the warm palm of his hand. You could feel his hot breath on your inner thighs, your walls fluttering as he came closer and closer to your core with each kiss to the exposed skin.  “On the tailgate, Joel?” You whimpered, a flash of concern passing over your face.  “I know how much you love the truck, baby.” Son of a bitch.

Time seemed to slow after your interaction with Joel in his woodshed. The days following the bonfire were filled with excitement but quickly followed by dread and anxiety. It had been a week. 

No text, no calls, no anything.

It wasn’t that serious. It was just Joel. Besides, you had a vibrator to fill the void until he finally decided to reach out to you. Whenever that may be. 

Days one and two were the most riveting. Every time you thought of Joel, your heart raced a little faster. You didn’t have a long list of sexual endeavors, so this was still noteworthy. Giving head to your hot forty-year-old neighbor. You wondered what else would come from it. More importantly, when. 

Days three and four felt routine and mundane. After picking around your breakfast and staring out the window to Joel’s empty driveway, you would wander to your back porch to read a book on the dock. 

You were lucky to catch glimpses of Sarah. Her summer was busy with her friends from school and working a part-time job to afford having fun the summer before her senior year. If she was free, you guys would jump in the lake, sit on the dock together, tell stories, and catch up on everything that was happening in each other’s lives. Well, not everything.  

Days five and six were torture. Your vibrator had died from its excessive use, and your fingers weren’t cutting it. You wanted Joel, you needed Joel. You hated to admit it, especially since he hadn’t paid a singular ounce of attention to you since the bonfire last Saturday. Even worse, after deciding to watch Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron with your family during a movie night, you started thinking even the horse was kind of attractive. 

Day seven started with your room covered in a pale blue light. You didn’t know what time it was. You weren’t sure how much you slept, but you knew it was very little. This ache was pestering your insides, spreading a rot like an old tree log. Your mind couldn’t fade away from the way Joel felt inside your mouth, the way he filled your throat, and you breathed through the choke. Or the way he finished on your face and your tongue.  

Your well-painted memory of it all was already beginning to fade. The details weren’t as crisp, you wanted to remember every detail and hold on to it for as long as possible.  

That’s what you were trying to imagine at this ungodly early morning hour. The birds weren’t even chirping outside yet. Your fan slowly circled, trying to cool you off from the sticky Texas heat. You wished your windows weren’t jammed closed.

You heard a thud outside, your body alert as you swiftly sat up and peeked out the window. 

Despite it being a Saturday, you watched a tired and slow Joel walk out to his old pickup truck and toss a brown bag lunch inside. Where was he off to so early?

He was wearing his chunky worn-in work boots, splattered with drops of white paint stained into the leather by the steel toe. They were heavy with each step he took on his rickety wooden deck. His faded dark blue jeans sat snug on his hips with his wallet stuffed in the back pocket. His dark hair dashed with silver grays was still damp from his morning shower.  

You watched behind foggy glass as he patted down his jeans and mumbled something, swiftly turning on his heel and lightly jogging up his steps before disappearing inside again. 

Seeing him after a week of silence bubbled up a hint of anger and annoyance in you. It annoyed you that he looked so good. 

Your feet found their way onto cold hardwood before you could waste another second. You would give him a piece of your mind in fuzzy slippers and an oversized rusty-orange Texas Longhorns t-shirt that was so draped over you that it covered your black sleep shorts. 

You tiredly navigated your way out of your room quietly, not to wake your parents down the hall. You crossed your arms and hugged them to your body, the early morning chill hitting you once you were outside. You crossed your driveway to his truck, slowing once you reached his perched-down tailgate. Joel had resurged from his house with his truck keys in hand, his steps slowing once you two shared eye contact.

You’d be standing here all day if you expected Joel to speak first. 

“Hey.” 

He gave you a small nod, his eyes dropping to the shirt that reached the tops of your thighs before they managed their way back up to your face. “Mornin’.” 

He closed the gap between his porch steps and his tailgate, setting down his toolbelt and box in the bed. He looked rigid, tight in the shoulders and chest. His close proximity made you step a few paces back, the length of the tailgate separating you from Joel. 

You were afraid that if he stood too close, he might feel how badly you wanted him by radiation alone. Especially now, fresh out of the shower, half-wet curls plastered to his forehead, still smelling a little musky with his body wash.

You finally let out an aggravated sigh, hip landing against the tailgate with your arms still crossed. 

“So… where are you going this early on a Saturday?” Your face still held a slightly pinched expression though you tried to ask a casual question. 

Your curiosity made the left side of his mouth tick up in a lopsided little smirk. 

“You wanna tell me the real reason you came over here?” Joel’s tactics were ruthless. It made you feel small, young. But you weren’t, not anymore. 

You took in a sharp breath through your nose, eyes on his as your head fell to the side. Finally, the ticking time bomb inside you was counting down. All of your pent-up sexual frustration would be launched at this lumberjack of a man. 

“You haven’t texted me.” 

“Christ,” he muttered, annoyance passing over his face. “Sun’s not even up yet.” 

“Joel.” You pushed. 

“Haven’t texted you in a few years.” He said lamely. 

“I know, the last thing I have from you is asking me what you think my dad would like for a birthday present.”

“I value your input.” His teasing didn’t make you any less angry. Joel could tell. “I don’t text anyone much besides Sarah. ‘ts the only way I can get ahold of her. Don’t even remember I own a phone half the time.” 

“I know.” Your arms crossed tighter around your body. “But I have… needs.” Your voice awkwardly teetered as you evaded his eye contact.

“Needs? Do ya, now?” Joel’s accent came out swinging, his signature smirky-smile working in combination with his cocked up eyebrow. But your face held evidence of your disappointment. 

There’s a gentle lull. He should have texted you, and you shouldn’t be here telling him that. He knows. Or maybe you shouldn’t expect so much from a guy like Joel. No wedding ring, brooding, a bull with horns, Joel. Wouldn’t know it was his birthday without Sarah reminding him, Joel. Wouldn’t leave the house if he didn’t have to, Joel. Wouldn’t think to text his horny neighbor next door, Joel. 

“Didn’t text me either, sweetheart.” He points out, making your head snap up with wide doe eyes. Shit. He was right. 

You didn’t text him, either. You were just sort of expecting it out of him. You hoped he would lead the way, be the guide, reach out wanting more. But that wasn’t Joel. Were you both playing this devilish waiting game? You felt a little silly, your insides wrapping in knots as he surveyed you. 

“Well I-”

“You what?” 

He was the one grilling into you now. The sun began cresting over the water, bleaching your surroundings in a pale orange. The sun’s glare caused Joel’s eyes to squint slightly to block it out. 

You rolled your head to the side and wiggled around as you tried to stand still against his tailgate. Your frustrations were evident as you rubbed your crossed legs together. 

This wasn’t the same girl who took a leap of faith in his woodshed, who crossed the boundary between nothing to something, and set you and Joel up for a thrilling summer. You just wanted him to tell you that he wanted it too. To fuck around and do something different. Make this summer worth a damn. 

“I didn’t know if you wanted more.” You finally muster up, your voice smaller than you intended, shifty eyes looking over his. 

Your statement made him scoff, having to look away from you with a wicked smile. The orange luminescence of the sun warmed his otherwise cold face. He was amused, maybe even a little offended by your statement. 

“‘Course I want more.” He strained before pausing, his voice lowering as he took another step closer. “Look at you. Wearin’ my shirt.” He said before he towered over you, making the first point of contact as his hand reached for your hip and pulled you in closer, his fist clutching the worn-in orange t-shirt. 

You blinked a few times before looking down where he fisted the material. Shit. He was right again. 

Joel had given this to you the last summer you were in Danbury. You and Sarah took a late-night dip in the lake, and she wanted you to sleep over and watch a movie in the basement. You were too lazy to walk back home and change, so Joel gave you a towel and his Longhorns t-shirt.

You easily could have snagged a shirt from Sarah’s closet, but Joel caught you sneaking into his house and dripping water everywhere.

“Just take this. Go dry off. Get warmed up.” A statement laced with annoyance and precaution for his floors, but also attentive care. 

It was probably supposed to be just for the night, but you stole it. 

You remember that evening vividly. It was the first time you fantasized about Joel. Because the shirt wrapped you up and smelled of his musk and deodorant. It brought on a certain warm fuzziness in your tummy. The shirt had been incorporated so much in your wardrobe these last two years or so, you had forgotten its origin. But it was Joel’s.

And now you were standing here in front of him, his shirt draped over your body like an oversized blanket, showing the curves of your tits. He was fantasizing about you too. Fucking you while wearing his shirt.

There was an undeniable tension that now settled between the two of you, one you surely couldn’t satisfy in his driveway. But that didn’t mean Joel didn’t feel the same way. 

His hold on your hip tightened, your lips parting in surprise as his other hand came to your waist and hoisted you up onto the tailgate of his truck. 

He was hot, possessive of your body wrapped in his shirt. 

“Does it look like I don’t want you?” Joel’s voice was husky, lust filled. You liked getting this sort of reaction out of him. His question caused an ache in you, white heat pooling in the base of your stomach. 

Your neediness for him returned. Addicted to his touch, you felt a rush of adrenaline pulse through your body. Joel parted your legs with his body by standing between them, your little fists gripping his large biceps as you tried to regain your bearings. He was so big and burly, wide set shoulders, and a toned chest. You wanted to see him shirtless, examine his body when your time together wasn’t so limited. 

“Joel,” his name dripped off your lips with desperation, sweet like honey. He knew how you said his name when you wanted him. It brought back vivid memories of you kneeling in front of him in his woodshed.

Comfort brought you back, knowing it was safe to lean in and start kissing his stubbled neck. You didn’t want to kiss his lips, it still felt too intimate. Joel picked up on your hesitations and silently obeyed. 

Once you got to the base of his neck by the collar of his shirt, he let out a surprisingly loud grunt that he tried to jam down into silence but had failed. It caught you off guard, the ways he displayed his pleasure.

You moved back in, eager to duplicate the noise as you paid special attention to his sweet spot. You suckled and glided your teeth over the pinpoint before he forced himself away. 

“Keep it below the collar, sweetheart.” His twangy southern drawl was drenched in pleasure.

You smirked as you tugged at the collar gently with your teeth, letting it go and seeing it snap back into place around his tan neck. 

His lips found the crook of your jawline, his lips brushing your earlobe as he took it between his teeth and gently nibbled. The sensation struck a nerve down your center, a weak whine echoing against the collar of his shirt as you tried to stay quiet. 

The air had warmed up with the sun’s presence, the birds starting to chirp. Your parents could wake up any minute now, being the early risers they were. 

You pulled away to gauge his reaction. Joel was looking between you and the horizon carefully. He was debating. You both had so little time. 

“Your parents.” He pointed out, his voice ridged with pain as he planted his body between yours, his large palms splayed on your lower back and upper thigh with his fingers ghosting your sleep shorts.

“Work.” You reminded, lightly tugging on the sleeve of his shirt, fingers delicately brushing over the faded Miller Contracting logo on his breast pocket. 

You’re compelled to tell him that you need him. Because you do. You need him terribly. 

There was a silence, a deliberation of the masses. Stop while you’re ahead, at least you and Joel realized you were on the same page about wanting more. You could let him go, you should let him go. Meet up another time when it was less risky. 

“You’re not pulling away.” Your whisper broke his thoughts. Your long lashes fluttered, and your eyes were filled with an eagerness only Joel could satisfy. 

He rolled his head around, jaw tight before shaking his head. 

“Well, you have needs.” His words were filled with grit, promise. Be quick. 

Your arms wrapped around his broad shoulders, feeling the planes of his back under your small palms. Both of Joel’s big hands moved under your t-shirt, your lips parting at the feeling of his calloused and rough hands traversing your soft body. He liked how soft you were, you could tell by the way he was delicately exploring you with his lips plastered on your neck. 

“Fuck, Joel,” you whisper, grinding your hips against his desperately while one of your hands wound into the damp curls at the base of his neck. He could use a haircut soon, the longer strands winding around your fingers.

His body loomed so much over you that you were arching your spine, your legs desperately wrapping loose around his waist until he had sufficiently guided you onto your back. 

Suddenly his presence lifted. You didn’t realize you were seeing stars until he pulled away. He had way too much of an effect on you. 

“Don’t have time to fuck you right, pretty girl.” His words made you puff out a desperate sigh. 

“But-” 

“But you have needs.” He finished for you, your head feverishly nodding. The truck bed had odd ribs, half your back raised up an inch while your other half was on a little slant. It was uncomfortable to lay your head down on. Once Joel was tugging down your sleep shorts, you were quick to forget the discomfort. 

A heavy breath left you as Joel tossed your shorts over his tool belt in the truck bed beside you, feeling him pull your body closer to the edge of the truck bed with your legs pried open for him. 

Your eyes widened as he sunk to the ground, jaw dropping as your eyes looked to the sky. Holy shit.

“Joel-” You clenched your eyes closed. “Outside? Are you serious?” Your scolded whispers were useless. Now that Joel knew you had these needs, he wasn’t going to let you be underserved. 

He perched one of your legs over his shoulder, the other spread to the side and held open by the warm palm of his hand. You could feel his hot breath on your inner thighs, your walls fluttering as he came closer and closer to your core with each kiss to the exposed skin. 

“On the tailgate, Joel?” You whimpered, a flash of concern passing over your face. 

“I know how much you love the truck, baby.” Son of a bitch. 

You wished every second with him right now wasn’t fleeting. You wished he could take his time. But the both of you were so wound up anyway, you were happy just to have him be a guest between your legs. 

Joel’s beard stubble tickled your thighs, his warm lips leaving a wet trail to your cotton underwear. Your hands needed to stay busy, one planting itself against one of the ribs of the truck bed and the other fisting his toolbelt that adorned a Carhartt patch. 

Joel’s mouth was absent for a moment. He was admiring you. Admiring you with your legs spread for him in his Longhorns shirt that was several sizes too big on you. Heat chased through your body, a sly little smirk on your lips. 

“Time is of the essence, Joel.” 

He didn’t say anything back. He was staring at the wet spot that had formed through the material of your panties. He hummed, cocky satisfaction filling him to the brim. 

Joel placed an excruciatingly soft kiss over your covered mound that had you writhing under him eagerly. His palm planted your thigh down again, feeling you quiver under his hold. 

You swallowed a lump down your throat as he pulled your underwear to the side, out of his fucking way. He was seeing you for the first time. It made your chest heave with shakier breaths. 

You were glistening for him, wet and gleaming in the sunshine that was starting to dance across the lake and over the truck. Panic flooded your core. He was taking his damn time. You needed him now. 

“Joel-” you warned again, but it was too late. 

His nose nuzzled against your clit as he flattened his tongue and licked up your center, tasting you properly. Your head dug into the truck bed, a loose moan leaving your parted lips as you closed your eyes and experienced a sweet paradise. His tongue flooded you with his saliva, Joel’s taste buds in galore as he tried you for the first time. 

You wondered if he thought about you tasting you like this before. The thought as well as his head between your legs left you humming in appreciation. 

Your free hand found its purpose, nestling your fingers into Joel’s hair while his head made gentle nods against your core. His jaw was slack, mouth lodged open as he consumed your sex in its entirety. He didn’t leave one centimeter of you unmarked. He commandeered the landscape like it was his territory, his possession. 

Puffs of his name left your mouth, you couldn’t help but be vocal when he made you feel this good. 

Joel’s tongue moved now with purpose, precision. He lapped at your entrance, tongue dipping in to feel your tight walls before moving back up and around your swollen clit. He was discovering you, what made you tick, what made you burn with passion and lust.

You held back moans of his name, bringing Joel’s shirt you wore up into your mouth by the collar to bite down onto. Your muffles were concealed by the material for now. 

You ground your hips lightly into his face, finding a rhythm you liked. He lets you. He wants you to feel good. 

Thumps of your heart pounded against your chest, Joel’s tongue still working perfect circles and swipes at your clit. He pulled away just for a moment to wet his fingers, you watch through hooded eyes. His amber ones flick to yours. Can I?

 You nod your head, a silent and desperate yes. 

He pursed his lips, face pierced with concentration as he pushed his middle finger into you, your walls welcoming the intrusion with a flood of arousal to allow him deeper. You took in a shaky gasp as he filled you to the knuckle.

“Fuckk-” you said a little too loud, your eyes widening as you covered your mouth and got a well-deserved glare from Joel. 

“Can’t hold yourself together, can ya, pretty girl?” His voice was as rough as gravel. 

You couldn’t even answer him back, the threads that held together your integrity were slowly plucking loose.  

You whimpered like crazy, the shirt swallowing as much of the noise as it could, but the rhythm of his finger and his mouth returning to your clit was sending electric currents through your entire body. You were short-circuiting with Joel’s tongue and fingers playing with your pussy. 

Joel’s mouth was warm, the taste of you a new hunger for him. You could hear his jeans scuff against the ground. He was trying to hold himself steady. The realization made you throw your head back, losing the shirt as a vice as you gripped his strands tighter between your knuckles. 

“Fuck, Joel--, ohmygod-” you whimpered quietly. The slurping of your cunt was louder than your words. The noise felt so loud in your pounding ear drums, you were worried it would wake the neighbors. The neighbors being your parents and Joel’s daughter.

You were close, even with just one of his fingers inside of you, you were close. You 

weren’t sure if it was because of your pent-up sexual tension, your vibrator dying, or your fingers not doing you justice. Maybe it was the fact that it was Joel Miller, but you were holding onto a very thin rope on the verge of snapping. 

You pulled your shirt up, releasing his toolbelt as your hand fondled your tits. You could feel him smirk against your thighs as you pinched at your hardened round nipples. 

“Such a pretty girl.. Taste so fuckin’ good too.” His words reverberate against your core, the vibrations tickling your clit and making you whine his name. His compliment caused a certain warmth in your chest.

Your head lulled from side to side. He wasn’t letting you know peace once he added a second finger. You had to take a moment to adjust but Joel could feel it, he knew exactly what to do and when. He was so seasoned, experienced, he’d be the first guy to make you cum like this. 

Your thigh against his head clenched tighter around his shoulder, keeping him in close against your core as he continued to work his tongue in figure eights around your clit. The soothing circles were creating a harmonious rhythm, your stomach felt like it was going to fall through a trapdoor. You weren’t going to last much longer. 

Then he tried something new. 

A loud gasp left your lips, your body scraping its way to sit up on your elbows as you watched him nibble and suckle at your clit. Your elbow had nicked his exposed flathead screwdriver in the process, a hiss seething from your mouth. It didn’t matter now. All your mind could focus on was Joel and his hellish tongue. 

The suckling at your clit unlocked something undiscovered, your lips parting in fascination before your head fell back and landed on the tops of your shoulders as you looked to the heavens with blurry vision. 

A lazy smirk was plastered on your face as he held you in place. You weren’t going anywhere.

Heated pants left your mouth, unable to breathe with the new sensation. The sucking was a distinct sensation, one you liked. You could feel his teeth just lightly grazing your sensitive bud. It made your thighs twitch, and your walls flutter around his still pumping fingers. 

Joel’s digits moved gently with their thrust, a gasp of his name flooding the air as he curled them deep, massaging your spongy walls. 

You were breathless. You could barely muster up anything besides his name weakly on your lips. You tried to tell him, but it was already too late. 

“J-Joel I’m-- I’m cominggg, shit,” you moaned out a little too loud. The whole valley around you echoed, or so it seemed. Joel’s protective grip tightened, your hips convulsing as you came over his tongue. He fucking loved it. He held you there and took you for everything you were worth.

You dropped to your back once more, his fingers still working a slow rhythm that he was insistent on not breaking until your walls stopped fluttering around his knuckles. You were still trying to come down to Earth when he licked you clean, your body twitching every time he flicked his tongue against your throbbing clit on purpose. Fucking asshole. 

Your hold on his hair loosens. You can’t help but make a face at the sight of him. Wild curly locks, mouth and chin covered in your slick, slightly flushed cheeks. He looked just as fucked as you did. He looked submissive on his knees, his eyes gleaming as he looked to you. 

You watch with obsession as he mindlessly pops his two fingers past his lips, licking them clean of your slick. Such a compliment. 

He guided your leg off his shoulder and put your underwear back in its place. 

You leaned up on your elbows, still seeing stars. Joel stood up from the ground and brushed any residual dirt and dust off his jeans. He brought his hand up and toyed with his jaw, meaty fingers adding pressure into the masseter muscle as he worked to relieve the tension that had built while going down on you with such dedication. 

You weakly sat up, the slotted ribs of his truck bed making indents in the flesh of your arms and thighs. Brands of your filth. Your big shirt fell back into place, your legs swinging lightly as they hung off the truck bed. You glanced at the back of your arm, seeing the scrape from his tools. You’d be fine. 

Once you turned straight to face Joel once more, you noticed he was fighting back a little smile about something, his hands on his hips and his knee cocked out.

“What?” You ask, trying to scoot further down the tailgate. 

“Nothin’.” He said gruffly, taking you by your hips and lifting you with ease like a ragdoll back onto the ground. His eyes stayed on the floor, your curious gaze following his down to your fluffy slippers. 

“Oh.” You muster up, clicking the toes together. 

“They’re uh… cute.” He tried to compliment, still with a teasing smirk on his face. 

“Shut up. They’re slippers.” You griped, your hand coming up to wipe away the glisten on his chin. He took over, pinching the collar of his shirt between his fingers and bringing it up to wipe away what was left of you. It was oddly attractive. 

He reached past his toolbox and belt, handing over your black sleep shorts after feeling over the material for a moment with a swipe of his thumb. 

You muster up a thanks, looping one foot in and then the other before you adjusted the band around your waist, the orange t-shirt falling back into place at your thighs. 

You couldn’t help but look around, the serenity of the early morning hours would only last so long on the lake. People liked to walk their dogs and jog, you didn’t want anyone reporting gossip. 

You turned back to Joel and assessed him. The Texas sun was already making both of your skin swelter, despite it being just past sunrise. 

You took in a sharp breath to say something, pursing your lips to keep them shut. Joel looked at you expectantly. 

“What?”

You shook your head and shrugged, holding your hands behind your back as you teetered on your feet. 

A stern expression passed over his face. “What?” He pressed harder. 

You tried to smother a laugh. “Your hair, Joel.” 

With an annoyed sigh, Joel amused trying to tousle his curls into place with the assistance of his truck’s driver-side mirror, grumbling a few curse words in response before leaving it be. 

You admire him, how handsome he looks so effortlessly. You suddenly became glaringly aware of how you looked right now. No makeup, baggy clothes, could use a shower. Fuck. 

“I gotta get goin’, already late.” Joel said as he returned  to the tailgate, lifting it with ease and slamming it into place with a few sharp snaps. “I’ll see you. And I’ll message you.” 

A small smile ticked at one half of your mouth, nodding. It was a promise. “Please call it texting, Joel.” 

He furrowed his brows as he looked over your face. “What difference does it make?”

You snickered and shrugged. “How old you sound.” 

Cue the classic Joel Miller eye roll. “Fine. Textin’.”

“How can you be working on a Saturday? That feels illegal.” 

This mustered up a short little chortle from Joel. “It’s not technically working, that’s why.” 

Your head curiously tilted to the side. “What do you mean?”

Joel shrugged, avoiding your eye contact as he looked past his truck and to the lake. 

This was what you had to deal with. Trying to get information out of Joel was an investigative effort, one you didn’t have the energy to dig into at the moment. You finally felt tired after your week of restlessness. 

You waved each other off, your face electric as you turned away from Joel and snuck back inside without a peep. As soon as you lay back in bed, feeling your heart thumping after your meet-up with Joel, you heard the door to your parent’s room crack open, and your father’s obnoxious morning yawn followed accordingly. Couldn’t have cut it any closer.

Finally, you felt sleep caressing the edges of your mind. Not a beat after your head hit the pillow, you felt your phone vibrate beside you. With hazy eyes, you turned it over in your palm and squinted at the brightness. 

joel miller Anything I can do to get in your good graces again?

You instantly smiled, lazy fingers typing a response. 

how about a movie night? 

He took a moment to respond. You could see him thinking it over in your mind’s eye. 

joel miller Fine. 

Your face lit up as you quickly took advantage of him owing you one. 

and I can pick the movie?

You could practically feel Joel’s eye roll from a mile away. 

joel miller Jesus. Fine. Tomorrow night. 

Tomorrow was perfect. Sarah said she would be on a camping trip and your parents would be visiting old school friends in a neighboring town for drinks and dinner. 

tomorrow night it is, mr. miller 

joel miller Whatever you say sweetheart.

---

wanna read part 3? read cherry!

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[hermesmyplatonicbeloved]

This post [X] contains a pjo fan desperately wanting to believe that Percy/Annabeth isn't toxic.

A Percy/Annabeth shipper responded and honestly I don't agree with some of the stuff they said. They specifically mentioned percabeth antis a couple times and I felt I need to address a few things since they were missing the point about a lot of arguments I've made.

It's far more than just the nickname. That's literally just the tip of the iceberg. I don't know why so many people get caught up on the nickname when it's like. some of the least shit Annabeth has done to Percy that we take issue with. For me, anyway.

Also, like it would be one thing if Annabeth was just using the seaweed nickname as an insult at 12 years old like most children do and grew out of it later on as she matured, but that's not the case. Read Riordan, from Annabeth at college (an adult):

It's more of an indication to me of what Annabeth really thinks of Percy. She doesn't respect him. When he has achievements (ones in academia which he canonically has struggled with and felt shitty about), instead of being happy for him like a supportive friend/girlfriend would, she seethes in jealously and envy. She has to be better than him, because if he's stupid and she's less than him that means she's stupid too, and she can't have that as the daughter of the wisdom and strategy goddess.

This comes from the passage in HoH where Percy mumbles that Tartarus smells like Smelly Gabe and Annabeth laughs at him.

I agree, its fairly flimsy because as far as we've seen Percy has never confided with Annabeth that his first step father was a piece of shit that liked to threatened to beat him into unconsciousness. It's a very traumatic thing and that takes a certain level of trust to share. She could've straight up not known and missed all of Percy's signals that he wanted to confide in her about it then.

One thing that trips me up tho is that a lot of people like to excuse the laughter saying that Percy is using jokes to cope with the trauma - and while we've seen other characters do that we literally never see Percy joking about Gabe's trauma. He never talks about it, barely even thinks about it. So I would say it's incredibly unrealistic to say that he was making a joke prompting laughter as a coping strategy.

Yeahhhh that's the thing!! They never do talk. They never communicate about these super important issues!! If they did, then they could have a healthy relationship. But they don't! And that's the problem!!

You can say "you doubt she would be insensitive " and "you believe she would stop [calling him seaweed brain]" and that's wonderful and present in fanfiction and your beliefs but it's not canon? Like it hasn't happened and we haven't even seen anything alluding to something similar to it.

Communication is not just beneficial - it's necessary to healthy relationships especially when you partner may be doing something that hurts/triggers you. And since they don't get this stuff out in the air, it makes the relationship unhealthy.

Yes. Percy enjoys being around Rachel, and the issue is that he directly contrasts that to Annabeth and his experiences with her come up lacking! Which is something that falls on both of them btw.

"They aren't trauma bonded... they spend time with each other outside of life threatening situations." / "They go on dates."

Yeah, Percy and Rachel did. Nice dates, that didn't involve killing or missions or quests.

Has Percy ever gone on a quest with Annabeth that didn't devolve to a mission or quest? Not that we've seen. There's nothing straight up mentioned in the text. They've been on outings together - ie. the failed movie hangout, the date in central part, etc. that start out fun but it always goes back to a quest or mission.

That's not Annabeth or Percy's fault to be clear (yes I'm repeating this twice) - but it does indicate that they cannot get away from that aspect of their lives and relax together. It's always war-fighting-gods with them, tarnishing the domestic moments. It's always hanging over their heads.

When you consider Percy's character (ie. his first words; "I never wanted to be a demigod," and his desire to have a normal life and be done with the quests, prophecies and missions it's not good. This is not Annabeth being abusive to re-iterate. Not her fault. It's more of a "we're not good together" because of external factors - Percy's not getting what he wants. On some level, he's not happy with the relationship.

Also, since we brought up that experience/convo with Rachel, there's something else I want to talk about. It's a lot less 'subjective.'

Percy's POV from TLO: "She [Rachel] was so much easier to be around than some other girls I knew. I didn't have to work hard, or watch what I said, or rack my brain trying to figure out what she was thinking."

I don't think we talk about this enough?? Like it's so telling about the nature of Percy/Annabeth's relationship. When they got together, Annabeth said, "I will never ever make things easy for you." And it's probably some of the truest things she's ever said.

In TTC instead of communicating with Percy and asking him to dance with her, she punches him. And a lot of people call Percy obvious in that situation, but they had just agreed to split up from Thalia and Grover. It's reasonable for him to be thinking that he would further split up from Annabeth to cover more ground and get closer to the demigods they were watching, instead of dancing together.

In HoH while they were in Tartarus, Annabeth intentionally brings up Rachel, and (from her POV) says that she likes to keep Percy, "on his toes." - House of Hades.

Meaning she likes to keep him on edge, guessing at what she's thinking and wondering if he's doing wrong etc. They're in the middle of Tartarus - you'd think that she'd give him a break there context considering but no. She adds to the mental toll he's going through after being kidnapped by Hera, brainwashed and being separated from his friends/family in close to a year on top of being in Tartarus and fighting a war where the existence of everything he loves hangs in the balance.

Idk if I'd classify this as abusive, but its definitely a massive red flag. You do not want to be in a relationship with someone who takes pleasure in giving you anxiety and 'on your toes.' That's definitely unhealthy.

This isn't the case. There are multiple instances of Percy fearing Annabeth outside of active battle from his narrative.

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” Annabeth interrupted, shoving aside the other campers. I thought she was going to punch me." - Battle of the Labyrinth. Context: Annabeth was very upset/worried about Percy, and he assumed abuse from Annabeth.

“Shut up, Silena. Hand me your dagger.” / I was afraid Annabeth was going to stab me with it. - Bronze Dragon. Context: Percy complimented another girl in front of Annabeth, and then assumed abuse from Annabeth.

He repeatedly expects to be hurt by her - in absurd situations! Like its not reasonable to hurt a friend/significant other in these contexts!! That's a strong red flag, and an indication of an abusive relationship. You have to ask yourself why does he think this way? Why does he think Annabeth's going to hurt him? Has she done that before?

Yes, she has. She has stuck him many times in situations where she has no right to do so:

"Um, who should I ask?" / She punched me in the gut. "Me, Seaweed Brain." - Titan's Curse. Context: Percy doesn't read her mind and doesn't know what she wants, so she hits him before telling him to dance with her.

"Annabeth alternately shouted, gagged, hit me, called me names like “Idiot! Stupid—dirty—moron—” and topped it all off with “Kill you!" - Staff of Hermes. Context: Percy saved himself and Annabeth from being killed, by travelling up sewer water. Annabeth gets livid and hits him multiple times.

"Annabeth grabbed his wrist and flipped him over her shoulder. He slammed into the stone pavement [...] Annabeth put her knee on Percy’s chest. She pushed her forearm against his throat." - Mark of Athena. Context: similar to botl case above, Annabeth was extremely worried about Percy and takes her emotions, her bitterness out on him physically.

"'You did an awesome job.' [Jason, to Percy]. / 'Back at you,' Percy said. / Annabeth kicked his shin." - Mark of Athena. Context: Annabeth kicks Percy while he's bonding with Jason to tell Percy to shut up so they can talk about the great prophecy.

None of those situations warrant striking Percy, but it does prove why Percy fears Annabeth. His fears aren't unfounded - they're built upon actual things Annabeth has done to him.

And if that's still not enough evidence for you, Annabeth has a tendency to place Percy in danger by using him as bait without letting him know the plan, literally shoving him head first into danger, etc.

The lightning thief, Annabeth uses Percy as bait to distract Clarisse + Ares warriors so Luke can get the flag. She doesn't tell Percy that he's being set up, nor does she give him any back up - which you'd think would be important considering that Percy had no experience holding a sword and shield. Reminder: Percy got electrocuted. He thought he would die.

Chalice of the gods, Annabeth shoves Percy off a cliff without warning. Percy gets his ass kicked by the river god, getting a bleeding head wound. (Do I need to remind you how bad head wounds are?) Meanwhile Annabeth sits on the side in safety tapping her wrist impatiently.

I elaborate about it more here. Yeah, I can see why he's scared of her. She puts him in danger with her plans without communicating anything to him. And he gets hurt.

And if that's still not enough, Annabeth has literally said, "I only attack my boyfriend like that." (Edit: - Mark of Athena). Can't remember where its from because it's from a short story someone quoted on tumblr to make an argument. You only attack your boyfriend? Domestic violence right there. Or a really shitty joke that's not really a joke because its a habit that she follows through with repeatedly.

So yeah. Even if you ignore the last point because I don't have the source, there is overwhelming evidence that Annabeth is abusive and Percy canonically fears her. This is not healthy relationship, and the flaws are not acceptable minor grievances you can dismiss by saying that they're just teens learning to be people.

The things Annabeth do are intentional. It starts in tlt, and she doesn't learn or grow out of it by cotg and beyond when she's an adult/ She doesn't have the reason/excuse of being a child anymore. The relationship is toxic and they shouldn't be together.

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (7) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n switch out one shitty ex for a slightly less shitty one

masterlist | last part | part 7 | next part

ARTICLE

Revisiting 'Twelve More Days' : How Empty Bottles Spun Their Signature Sound on its Head on Tour April 12, 2024 · Written by Catherine Moore

Almost halfway through the Asian leg of their world tour, it's finally time to talk about what the pandemic-era rock band Empty Bottles has been up to. For greener artists, it's the cookie-cutter way to stick to a genre that has previously worked and give the masses what they want but instead, Empty Bottles have taken their 2022 sophomore sensation 'Twelve More Days' and tweaked the songs for their world tour.

Long-time fans of the Sydney-born band are familiar with the classic rock elements that brought Empty Bottles into the spotlight; claiming influence from fellow Sydneysiders 5 Seconds of Summer, Arctic Monkeys and other croony rock artists, so it was a rather big surprise for critics and fans alike when the album opened with a much softer, hypnotising approach.

The even bigger surprise was the creative and musical approach they took with their tour. As noted by various critics back during the album release, 'Twelve More Days' had a not-so-subtle jazz flavour to their sound, and the band seems to have embraced the jazz-rock sound by opening their tour with a speakeasy-style set, complete with the band decked out in snazzy 1930s reminiscent suits and frontwoman Selina Bui in glittery minidresses, opera gloves and a thematic vintage ribbon microphone.

Despite close to three years since she last performed in front of a live audience, Bui took to the stage like a fish to water, instantly entrancing her audience with her universally acknowledged rich sirenic vocals, drawing in the attention and sending the venue back to a 1930s speakeasy. Strangely, she performs this part of the show without her trusty guitar, leaving the grunt work on the other lead guitarist, talented Lukas Zhang, who delivers without a hiccup with no twin guitar to help cover any mistakes.

Quite a few of the sophomore album's songs are given a jazz-rock twist that nobody could have predicted. Other already jazz-influenced songs - namely deluxe track number 13 'money talks' and track 6 'typo' - have been breathed to life, as well as a couple of songs from the band's debut album 'overtime'.

Empty Bottles then returns after a brief intermission with their award-winning pop-rock sound, spending the rest of the set in much more familiar-looking leather jackets and t-shirts and a guitar returned to Bui's hand. Bui, very well known for having an interesting sense of humour, made the choice of returning to the stage with the fitting song choice of 'do you remember me?'. One thing you have to give the 22-year-old is that she really does know how to pick her moments, and the now-iconic first chords of the cocky, energetic track are enough to send the crowd screaming.

The exploration into the many subgenres of what is considered rock 'n' roll has always been a very fuzzy point of conversation, and it's been an honour seeing Empty Bottles have fun playing jump rope over that line. What makes this tour such a raving success is their perfect balance of experimentation and keeping to what is tried and true for them; the classic, hard-hitting, no-nonsense, inane-lyricism rock coupled magnetically with Bui's captivating execution on stage.

Would you find me at one of their shows again? Absolutely, there was truly nothing more thrilling than the first moments you see Selina Bui walk onto stage with her infamous cheshire cat smile. What did I personally think about the sound change? I was pleasantly surprised at how seamlessly they've adjusted the songs to fit the jazz-rock genre, I also believe that they have found the perfect sound to complement Selina Bui's voice. It's uncanny how it just clicked that she was born to sing the soft, almost lullaby-like, calming songs. If they were to release another album with a similar soft sound, I would happily eat it up.

Empty Bottles wrap up the Asian leg of the tour in Bangkok, Thailand later this month and then shortly begin the European leg in Sofia, Bulgaria.

INSTAGRAM

cameliazzz

liked by aidan_ebass and 122,394 others

cameliazzz life lately 🐾 tagged: selinabui

aidan_ebass Yes ma'am 🫡 ↳ selinabui @aidan_ebass i'm dying u are such an old man ↳ lukaszhang @ selinabui he's like barely a year older than you??

cami.png the hottest drummer ever 💜💜💜

conangray a little commotion for the drummer pls and thank you ↳ cameliazzz @ conangray stop i'm blushing 🙈

TWITTER

fiona🩷 @fififorlina · 4h i mean we can all thank tommy for one thing and that's for twelve more days lmao ↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 3h i forget that not all empty bottles fans have read this article but i think they all should: Why 'Twelve More Days' isn't a Break-Up Album, it's a Healing One

emme @flowersforcami · 1h yes twelve more days is full of t*mmy slander BUT remember that all the band members have writing credits and they ALL helped write songs so basically what i'm trying to say is that twelve more days is actually the rest of the band roasting the shit out of lina's ex ↳ emme @flowersforcami · 1h every one of those bitches rocked up to the studio and went for blood. that is a universally hated man in their group chat.

amie <3 @mieflrs · 2h it's been 3 years, i think it's time to admit that keeping tabs is absolutely not about thomas fucking howard ↳ amie <3 @mieflrs · 2h i don't care how delusional u are, where in those 3 minutes 54 seconds did you hear a single line that sounds like anything like that sorry excuse of a man??? now a certain japanese-american singer who is exceptionally hot playing the guitar on the other hand... ↳ lukas 🔛🔝 @lukiepookie28 · 2h yes i agree it's not about t*mmy but it's also not about CHRISTOPHER like WTF R U ON???

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 32m we're in an oscalina drought and it's plain to see not all of us are coping well

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

INSTAGRAM

selinabui

liked by chrisyamada, oscarpiastri and 279,384 others

selinabui now he's thinkin' 'bout me every night, oh is it that sweet? i guess so

amelia_belrose pop!lina perhaps 🫣

oscarpiastri Didn't need to call me out like that ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri don't tell me u miss me already

sabrinacarpenter she's working late coz she's a singer

lukaszhang woman you hate coffee what are you on ↳ selinabui @lukaszhang why are u even here

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

Yamada Updates @chrisyamadanews · 2h 🚨| Chris spotted at the Empty Bottles 'Twelve More Days' Tour in Seoul Night 2

Yamada Updates @chrisyamadanews · 32m 🚨| CHRIS ONSTAGE WITH EMPTY BOTTLES!!!

↳ Yamada Updates @chrisyamadanews · 30m this made me break ok, i am so fucking thrown off. WDYM WE GOT SELINA BUI AND CHRISTOPHER YAMADA ON STAGE TOGETHER IN THE YEAR 2024???

mabel @ maplemabel32 · 25m i can't breathe chris and lina??? chris and lina???????? after so long??? CHRISTOPHER AND SELINA???? as in "hello it's chris" "and lina"??? MY BESTIES REUNITED???

june @linafesting · 18m sometimes, i'm convinced lina spins a wheel on how to break the internet today

↳ kat ୨୧ @yamayaps · 2m with all due respect, this stunt was NAUT selina's idea, this was a move that christopher 'no boundaries' yamada suggested

INSTAGRAM

emptybottles_official Olympic Gymnastics Arena

liked by chrisyamada and 334,294 others

emptybottles_official Nowhere as incredible as Seoul! Always special to have @chrisyamada join us on stage. tagged: chrisyamada

chrisyamada someone better return the favor later 👀 ↳ selinabui @chrisyamada u begged me to let u come what are u on ↳ chrisyamada @ selinabui ok maybe i did

pi4str1 ok someone catch me up bc i did not know chris and lina were friends??? ↳ linasgirl4 @pi4str1 it's probably best we don't get into it

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee

[theafterglow83]

Stray thoughts on a Sunday morning.

5/12/24

Since the release of TTPD I’ve heard and seen a lot of Maylors rising from the grave. Some words of advice- stay buried.

Their claim is that Taylor has had a hidden relationship with Matty Healy for the past 8 years. I’ve even seen some claim Reputation is about him

I laughed.

I’ve heard people say kissgate was to make Matty jealous.

I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes

They even think Maroon is about Matty😂

* shakes head

Let me tell you something honey- NYC ain’t screaming nobody’s name but Karlie Kloss who also just happens to be the only one Taylor’s ever dated who is fit like a daydream and Matty Healy’s lips and disgusting stained teeth are not the lips she called home.

Open the schools!

Dream girls

Do they even realize how utterly ridiculous that is?

Do they process any critical thinking skills whatsoever?

Please tell me why Taylor Swift would have to hide a relationship with a white male her own age ?

What’s the scandal?

Yeah, he’s rough around the edges but PR could have easily ironed him out if she was so in love with him as they claim. Nobody’s worse than the overrated, clout chasing, alcoholic, fading athlete she’s bearding with now. They covered up for him when his old tweets surfaced.

At least they got the hidden relationship part right - but she wasn’t hiding ratty you brainless wonders -she was hiding Karlie Kloss.

There also is that rumor that Taylor had a short lived fling with ol ratty from around Feb- March 2023 till around June. Thing is she was touring through most of that time. He was seen at a couple of concerts and out once in NYC. Hardly the making of a love affair - but a good diversion trail for her beloved Swifties to follow and take the bait that he was her secret lover she was hiding from the world if the topic were to come up in her songs.

The entire thing makes me scratch my head. It’s as crazy as the people who believe Karlie was PR to cover up Taylor’s relationship with Diana ( who there’s been zero connections to her in years) or Lily ( which in my opinion is completely fan fiction)

My God there’s more photos of Karlie with Lily than Taylor and not to mention that Derek Blasberg ( KK’s ride or die) is still friends with Lily. Does anyone really believe he would even associate with her if she betrayed his beloved Karlie.

Use your brains!

And please tell me why you would get Karlie Kloss who had multiple bi/ lesbian rumors attached to her to do a PR relationship with Taylor to cover up the fact that Taylor was bi/ gay.

Open the schools - hire more teachers

All roads always lead to Karlie Kloss … and my God who could blame her! Karlie Kloss is one in a 8 billion. Ratlors - Nice try -crawl back in your hole

Rant over - enjoy your day🤍

[thehomeofplatonicfics]

Hi I recently discovered your account and I’m obsessed your writing is amazing and I don’t know if you’re still doing Tudor!reader Fics but if you are I have a request. So reader is Anne Boleyn’s eldest daughter and had to watch her mothers execution (for the storyline reader was 12 or so years old) and never forgave her farther so when she’s like 15 (maybe the day after Catherine Howard’s execution) she overthrows him as revenge. I hope you understand what I’m trying to say total understand if you don’t want to right it. Have a good day/night❤️

A/N: I love how kooky the timeline would have to be warped for this to be possible but I absolutely love the idea of this! So sorry for taking so long to write this, real life does enjoy getting in my way :(

Revenge

Someone had to stop King Henry VII, your father, from his increasingly brutal reign. Lady Mary, your half-sister, seemed unable to do anything without the counsel of her precious Ambassador Chapuys. Elizabeth was of course just a child, too young to rule. Edward was a mere baby. It seemed to you that the responsibility of saving the realm fell solely on your shoulders. It was a burden you were glad to take.

You were grateful that you’d had enough time being raised by your mother Anne Boleyn, that you had learnt how to be as cunning and manipulative as she had once been. Of course, having Mary as an older sister helped solidify those ideals, as Mary was able to inspire a great deal of loyalty in others when she wanted to.

It had been a long, arduous task to slowly turn the King’s courtiers against him. An entire year had passed before the perfect opportunity had finally arisen. Only two days had passed since poor Queen Catherine Howard had been executed on your father’s orders. Though you hadn’t been the greatest fan of the silly child, she was just like you… an innocent girl. Too many young women’s lives had been destroyed on the whims of an undeserving King, and the unrest among the populace seemed at its highest. It was the perfect time to strike.

The foundations you had laid throughout the year, telling little white lies here and there, promising things that you’d never do in order to gain the loyalty of the courtiers, would serve you well. The King had noticed some changes but could never trace them back to you. Often you would have agents loyal to you do the work that needed to be done while you were at home with Elizabeth in the country, creating a wonderful alibi.

Knowing that the King seemed to be favouring Catherine, the Lady Latimer, as his potential sixth wife, you realised that she would be the perfect distraction for your coup. You knew she wanted to be with Thomas Seymour so she would be likely to help you, especially as you had always had a good relationship with her growing up. Elizabeth, of course, was easy to manipulate into playing the part that you needed her to.

You dressed in your most regal black dress, deliberately picking out jewels and a French hood that made you look like a true ruler. You took a deep breath in and out to try to calm your nerves and your trembling hands before you went into the court. You gave a subtle nod to Catherine Parr who, along with Elizabeth, went up to the King to talk to him and distract him.

As soon as the King had begun discussing something with them both, you gave the signal to your loyal people who captured his guards and those you knew were still loyal to him, discreetly dragging them away.

You gave a sly, satisfied smile as you secretly prepared your weapon behind your back. You knew that your father’s greatest fear was getting sick, so you poured a poison on your blade before walking up to him, curtsying, and then holding the blade tightly against his throat. “Y/N! What is this?!” King Henry asks incredulously, clearly not believing one of his daughters could pull this off, his face grew white as he saw all the people loyal to you with their weapons drawn.

“I am now your Queen. You will take orders from me, and no one else.” You call out to the people in the court, who begin to cheer. You smile smugly to yourself as you see your father’s world crashing down around him.

“Why, Y/N? Just… why?” You give an incredulous laugh, sneering at him. “Why, father? For my mother.” You lean forwards, your breath touching his face as you snarl your words.

You turn to your guards, and give a sweet smile. “Throw him in the tower.” You command, pushing your father towards them. You sit on the throne, looking around at your successful coup. Allowing yourself a few moments to gloat in your glory, you immediately turn to your advisors. The Queen had work to do.

[lostinthesasuke]

do you think sasuke is religious or upholds his clan's religious practices? i was rereading and in the part where they go to resucitate the hokages orochimaru says "there's nothing left of the uchiha's nakano shrine", to which sasuke answers "the exterior doesn't matter" and it got me wondering

HI YES thank you so much for sending this ask. it's very close to me. elaborated a Lot under the cut but tl;dr - yes.

he is religious in the only way he remembers how to be. preserving Uchiha tradition and culture is deeply important to him. when he said the exterior of Nakano shrine didn't matter, sure he was referring to the fact that there was a hidden underground level... but it meant much more than that.

genocide doesn't just claim lives, it claims languages and religions and every facet of culture. konoha has been known to participate in the censorship and eradication of culture. this assimilation functions as an extension of genocide.

by virtue of being a survivor, i think sasuke feels an obligation to "carry the torch". since he was so young when the massacre occurred, it's likely a lot of practice and customs have been lost altogether. this is distressing to him. even during his character introduction at 12 years old, his clans "restoration" was first and foremost in his mind. to me this statement was never about re-population as many people interpret, but about justice, pride, and culture.

he feels as though the Uchiha name has been "tainted" and it is his responsibility to "purify" it. but what that means to him shifts over time.

the Uchiha clan's religion is obviously based on and deeply tied to the Shinto religion, just like the clan's jutsu and kekkei genkai. many Uchiha jutsu are named after Shinto deities.

this part i am not going to delve into too much yet because one day i will probably write a paper about it, but one of the tenets of Shinto belief is the importance of purity. Shinto practice and customs are regionally variant but the practice of purification is central. death is considered to be extremely impure. this context is deeply relevant to Sasuke's belief system and the way he thinks about himself and his clan.

it is likely that the uchiha religion is closed, evidenced by nakano shrine being kept a secret. sasuke not only has to contend with the fact that the remaining pieces of his culture are guarded and hidden, requiring the use of high-level dojutsu to decipher, but also that any of it may have been altered. the revelation that the stone tablet was altered in order to facilitate madara's manipulation and further subjugation of the uchiha was destabilizing. sasuke has to put the pieces of his religion back together with mostly his memories to rely on.

many parallels can be drawn between sasuke and the sun goddess Amaterasu. when she is betrayed by her brother Susanoo, she withdraws into a cave and plunges the world into darkness. Susanoo conspires to manipulate her into leaving the cave, and then binds her.

this gender reversal is sort of fascinating. Amaterasu and Susanoo contradict the popular notions about the sun and moon and the masculine and feminine. of course this reminds me of sasuke as well, because everything does.

sasuke is typically associated with the waning crescent, the phase just before a new moon, and itachi with a full moon. since sasuke is associated with the moon, the yin, and the feminine, it would logically follow that he would be passive like water; low like a valley. however, he subverts this expectation.

i believe this is a big part of why he makes so many people uncomfortable. he is fire and lightning and he is not a perfect victim.

after speaking to the kage and revealing the secrets of Nakano shrine, he resolves himself to burn the world down and be reborn like a phoenix. like the waning crescent before a new moon.

he is not "pure" the way itachi expects, kishimoto states, or many fans anticipate. he has strong convictions and he is confident. he is not apologetic and he is impossible to ignore.

the first time we ever see sasuke associated with the sun is after he learns the truth about the massacre. he leaves his cave. he sheds hebi and becomes taka, predator instead of prey. he is ready to spill as much blood as it takes.

i have many ideas about what Uchiha religious customs might look like, and many of them concern fire. the uchiwa fan that stokes the flames is their crest. they are seen as fully fledged members of the clan once they can perform katon jutsu. the shrine that houses the Uchiha's patron deity has eternal flames lit.

drawing from my own religion, one of my favorite metas draws a parallel between the Uchiha fire affinity and

אש תמיד (Aish tamid)

which means eternal flame. (sorry for line break, tumblr hates right to left languages). Aish tamid refers to the flame in the temple of Jerusalem that was always kept alight before its desecration by the greeks. just like the torches located in Nakano shrine.

the greeks attempted to hellenize and extinguish Jewish culture. they outlawed observance of Shabbat and circumcision, spat in the face of kashrut by sacrificing pigs in the temple, and even built statues of their gods within. the Jewish people rebelled against them and the flame was rekindled.

rebellion, justice, and pride in culture is in the spirit of fire. unending, always enduring. Sasuke and the Uchiha clan embody this, their crests always emblazoned on their clothes even at the cost of armor. from Madara's rage, to the coup, to Sasuke's revenge, justice is an integral component to the Uchiha ethos.

to me this is a really interesting contrast to the will of fire. the will of fire is the ideal of nationalism-- putting the state before the self. this idea is lauded as heroism. it was originated by the senju, no wonder.

meanwhile, the uchiha clan with their fire affinity and deeply spiritual connection to flame are seen as transgressors. they are seen as disruptive to the ideal of the "will of fire" due to their strong cultural identity. they refuse to assimilate into the dominant culture. they prioritize their love and familial bonds with each other over konoha's interests.

naruto wiki im going to kill you

they are labeled with the opposing "curse of hatred".

it is no surprise then that itachi was praised for his strong "will of fire" for carrying out the massacre-- putting the well-being of the state over the lives of his family. groomed into following the senju doctrine and abandoning his own culture. assimilated and outcast.

in modern culture Aish tamid is kept alight by the continuation of religious practice- praying and studying Torah keep the flame burning. "The exterior doesn't matter". the flame is already burning within Sasuke.

sasuke carries on whatever pieces of his culture he remembers, and he prays in the dark, and he thinks of his mother with her hands clasped at the kamidana, and he visits shrines often on his journey. he lights incense and he burns brightly. and he walks on.

[gunsatthaphan]

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: February 2024 ~ 

🌱 Happy March!!! 🌷

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post! 

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 Anti Reset - February 2nd (Taiwan)

🌟 Love Syndrome: The Beginning - February 8th (Thailand)

🌟 Baka Pwede pa? - February 9th (Philippines)

🌟 War of Y: The Reunion (special episode) - February 10th (Thailand)

🌟 1000 Years Old - February 14th (Thailand)

🌟 My Strawberry Film - February 16th (Japan)

🌟 A Secret Love - February 17th (Thailand)

🌟 To Be Continued - February 19th (Thailand)

🌟 Unknown - February 24th (Taiwan)

🌟 Wedding Impossible - February 26th (South Korea)

🌟 Kiseki Chapter 1 & Chapter 2 - February TBA (Thailand)

🌟 Ambiguous - February TBA (South Korea)

Monthly likes/dislikes

❣️ I'm gonna have to list Cherry Magic and Cooking Crush again just because they filled me with so much serotonin lol. Truly beautiful productions, so carefully written, so well executed and with so much wholesomeness and so many green flags lol. I had the best time watching them and the fact that 2 OG pairs had comeback shows back to back gave me so much nostalgia lol, especially since the genre is reminiscent of their old shows. It's been a blissful and therapeutic few months and I'm extremely sad that it's over 😩🥺🫶🏻 A+ content from everyone involved. 12/10 for both.

👎🏻 It has been a year lmao a lot of things happened this month, the Pawin situation makes me sad, we don't know what actually happened but the whole thing is messed up either way. James dropping out of LUAT came as a surprise as well, I'm not a NetJames fan but if they really had a falling out like the rumors say then that's sad. Singto coming back to gmm has been a nice surprise amongst the scandals lol but other than that I hope things go uphill after this 🥺

New series & movie announcements

🎥 My Bias is Showing (manwha adaption) - Date TBA (South Korea)

🎥 All About Lust - Date TBA (South Korea)

🎥 A Balloon's Landing - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Roommates - Date TBA (South Korea)

🎥 Good Night to Get Drunk - Date TBA (South Korea)

🎥 First Note of Love - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Living With Him - Coming April 11th (Japan)

🎥 The Young Gangster - Coming 2025 (Taiwan)

Other news from the BL world

❗️ Actor Singto Prachaya has returned to GMMTV as an artist. He previously left the company in 2021 to work as a freelance actor & producer after being under contract for nearly 5 years. It is unknown whether he will be part of any projects of the 2024 lineup.

❗️ The Thai BL Playboyy is getting a second season.

❗️ The upcoming Korean series High School Return of a Gangster announced the removal of the original BL plot. The show will air as a censored version, focusing on the friendship between the male leads.

❗️ Actors Charles Tu (HIStory 4) and Michael Chang (My Tooth Your Love) were confirmed to star in the upcoming BL First Note of Love. The series tells the story of a musician who is struggling with stage fright and one of his fans. An air date has not been announced.

❗️ Actor Non Ratchanon will no longer partake in the upcoming BL Live in Love. In an official statement, the production company stated that the decision was made due to disagreements between his agency and the one representing his co-star Hearth Chindanai. A recast for his role has yet to be announced.

❗️ GMMTV actor Win Pawin was accused of physically assaulting his ex-girlfriend, who made public allegations with photo evidence of her wounds. As a result GMMTV released a statement announcing the suspension of Pawin from all further work activities until legal investigations are complete. This lead to him making a public statement saying he is withdrawing from the upcoming BL We Are. He was cast as one of the 8 protagonists and was paired with his former partner Marc Pahun. GMMTV released a followup statement today, announcing Pawin's character would be recast to newbie Poon Mitpakdee.

❗️ Actor James Supamongkon announced his withdrawal from the upcoming Domundi BL Love Upon a Time. He released a statement on Twitter, saying he wants to expand his career and focus on other projects as an artist apart from acting. The company stated that Net and the others will stay part of the cast and that a new partner for Net will be cast shortly. This caused a big uproar amongst the fans who have been waiting for the series since it was announced over a year ago. Whether James' dropping out has anything to do with a dispute between him and Net is not confirmed.

Upcoming series & movies for March

👉🏻 Love is Better the Second Time Around - March 5th (Japan)

👉🏻 Deep Night - March 7th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Two Worlds - March 21st (Thailand)

👉🏻 High Demand - March 23rd (Thailand)

👉🏻 Wuju Bakery - March TBA (Thailand)

👉🏻 The Star - Date TBA (Thailand)

👉🏻 Blossom Campus - March TBA (South Korea)

👉🏻 Jazz for Two - March TBA (South Korea)

[rxmqnova]

The Scarlet Witch

Y/N: 12 years old Story: After finally escaping hydra, Y/N discovers her mother is the Scarlet Witch… ——————————————————

Y/N'S POV I'm sitting in Central Park in New York after so many failed attempts to get someone to tell me where my mom could be. My mom is an Avenger and apperantly the Avengers are pretty famous, so why nobody knows where's Wanda Maximoff?

It's been 4 years since the last time I saw her… or I think. I was taken by hydra when the agents attacked the Avengers compound. They kept me in a cell, but then something happened and in 5 seconds the place was all clear. No one was around. So I ran…

I wish I could see her again, but anyone I ask doesn't know anything about her. I just need to find out what happened to her.

It's been 3 days since I got out of that terrible place. I always like to walk around this weird house with something on the roof that looks like a big eye. I don't know why, but I can feel some sort of power from this house.

I managed to find out that a man called 'Doctor Strange' lives there. According to one older lady, he has some sort of powers too. I want to ask him if he by any chance knows anything about my mom, but everytime I knock at the door, no one opens. But I can't give up, I have to try again.

I knock at the door, praying someone will finally open. I let out a sigh after a few minutes of standing there. I sit on the stairs in front of the house, resting my head on my knees.

My eyes widen when I hear the door creak. I immediately stand up, turning around and looking at a tall man with a cup in his hand and a clock who stands there, looking back at me.

"H-hello, don't you know by any chance where-" I start, but he cuts me off.

"Listen, kid, this is not a place to play. Go home" He says coldly, already closing the door.

"Wait! Do you know Wanda Maximoff?" I blurt out, the door opening again.

"Wanda Maximoff? Why would you look for her?" He raises an eyebrows.

"I-I need to talk to her. She. Hm. She's my mom" I explain, but only earn a look that tells me he doesn't believe me at all.

"Okay. I understand you're probably a fan, but go home, kid. It's getting late" He says, rolling his eyes and closing the door again. I've never wanted to do this, to use my powers on other people, but he gives me no other choice. He clearly knows something about my mom and I just need to know.

I close my eyes, concentrating only on the power I feel from this house. I take a deep breath, trying to get into the guy's mind. It takes a while, but once I'm in, I carefully search for any information about my mom.

Finally, I find out that the man is heading to some place called Kamar-Taj where my mom is supposed to be too. This will be hard to get there, but I'm a witch after all.

———————————

Took me more than a whole night to actually find my way to Kamar-Taj, but I did it. Now I'm hidden behind one of many statues that are around this place. There's a huge castle and people in pajamas looking outfits. I mean… it's literally almost 1pm, why would they wear pajamas? Whatever, now I just need to wait until my mom shows up.

Suddenly the sky darkens, all the people watch the sky, waiting for what happens next. My mom appears, the guy from yesterday flies up to her and they start talking. I'm just watching it, wondering what they could possibly talk about, but then Doctor Strange flies back and the pajamas people make a shield. I don't get it, is my mom the bad one now? She's always been very caring, she wouldn't be evil, right?

I watch in confusion as my mom tries to break the shield, throwing her magic at it until it breaks. She flies down on the ground, knocking everyone down. Tears form in my eyes, this can't be true, my mom can't be evil.

She starts walking towards the castle and since no one is outside except for the dead bodies, her and me, I get out of my hiding spot.

"Mama?" I say shyly, tears quietly running down my cheeks. Mom turns around, her face impression turning into a shocked one when she sees me.

"… Y/N/N?" She whispers, walking towards me, tears building up in her eyes.

"No" I take a step back, unsure of her next actions. She stops, tears running down her cheeks too by now as she's looking at me, hurt visible in her eyes. "Mama, why would you do that? You're not evil, you can't be" I tell her, my voice breaking at the sight of all the dead bodies surrounding us.

"Y/N/N, I… I just wanted you back" She says, her voice also breaking. "Please, sweetheart. I-I'm sorry, I missed you so much" She takes another step towards me on which I shake my head, tears still running down my face.

"No, please don't hurt me" I step back, shaking my head. "I want my mama" I cry out, my breathing not really working right now.

With a swift move of her hand, her clothes change into jeans and green jacket, her hair is put into one french braid and her fingers don't have the black color on them.

"I'm here, Y/N/N. You need to breathe, sweetheart. Breathe with me, honey" She holds my shoulders, looking me in the eyes and trying to help me to breathe.

"Mama" I wrap my arms around her, burying my head into her chest.

"Mama's here, my little monkey. You're safe. You're okay" She says, rubbing my back and kissing the top of my head. "You're okay" She repeats. "Where have you been, baby?" She asks when I finally manage to take a deep breath, wiping away my tears with her thumbs.

"Hydra" I manage to say, wrapping my arms around her tightly once again. "Please don't ever leave me, mommy"

"I will never ever leave you, my little monkey. I promise I'll always protect you, no matter what" She smiles and kisses my forehead. "I will never let anyone take you from me again"

"Mama, I don't like it here. Can we go away?" I ask, not feeling comfortable at all here. I just want to cuddle with my mom on the couch and watch a cartoon.

"Let's go home" She smiles and presses a kiss to my forehead before taking my hand in hers and leading me away from this place.

----------------------

Wanda deserves a happy ending🫶🏻

Wanda Maximoff masterlist

Masterlist

[oneatlatime]

Hiii!!! I’ve been binging through your blog for the past few weeks and I noticed how you talk about how Kataang(Katara x Aang) is portrayed in the show. Honestly yeah, I will admit I didn’t like it at first but now I just don’t really care for it. But I’d be interested hearing an in-depth opinion on the ship(unless you already did and I just never noticed or forgot 😭).

Another question, do you think you’re going to read the comics that came out the series? If you’re asking my opinion I’d say they’re a uuuh 7-8 out of 10 IG?

I do have thoughts on Kataang which I haven't shared yet. Part of me thinks I should wait to answer your ask until I've finished the series; it's obvious to me that these two are being set up to be the big finale couple, which means if I talk about them now I'm probably missing the pieces I need to have a full, well-rounded opinion. But you know what? I feel like talking about them now. So here goes.

Short answer: It peeves me that Aang comes from a culture that seemingly doesn't even have parents, yet he still manages to date his mother.

Long answer: they're both way too young. I'm a huge fan of letting the kids be kids for as long as possible. Especially with these kids, who have been prevented from being kids by the war. As Katara points out in the opening scene of the very first episode, she's been the mother since her own died (or at least she feels like she has had to be the mother). Call me crazy, but I'd rather Katara spend a few years after the war doing dumb childish stuff to recapture that lost childhood than jump straight into a relationship. Isn't the safety and space to do dumb childish stuff one of the things those who are trying to end the war are fighting for? Shouldn't she get to enjoy that? And Aang is just way too young no matter what way you look at it. He's 12 right? I think that would make him a grade 6 student. Back in my day (yells at cloud) Grade 6 students collected yugioh cards and feuded over who had the snazzier lunch box. I could picture a 12 year old having a crush on a slightly older girl that goes to the same school, but it would be short lived and unactionable. I guess Katara would be around 14? So, a grade 8 student. A grade 8 girl would not date a grade 6 boy. It would just never happen.

They've both got bigger fish to fry. Aang is the last Air Nomad AND the current Avatar. When he fully takes on both of those positions, what time will he have for a girlfriend? Katara is the only Southern Waterbender. Whether or not she wants the responsibility, it will be her duty to single-handedly reconstruct a huge portion of her nation's culture from the ground up once she returns south. Does she have the time to ping pong around the globe mothering her boyfriend as he rides giant animals or does Avatar stuff? Say she wants to: what will her family and the rest of her tribe think of the only person who can access such a huge part of their culture riding off into the sunset?

Their current relationship dynamic is still too mother/son. This is more obvious in season 1 than in season 2 (maybe that's growth?) but you can't depict a male/female pair as pieta and then expect me to ship. I think this could change somewhat, but I've already been disappointed in that. I thought that once Katara had mastered waterbending and therefore felt she had something other than mothering to contribute to the group, she would back off with the mothering. And she did, a little, but not enough for my tastes. Maybe as Aang fully steps into the Avatar role and the last Air Nomad role (sidenote: no idea what the latter would look like) he'll move on to a more equal relationship with Katara.

I think Katara is meant for better things than rebirthing a nation. Bending seems to be at least somewhat genetic. So if Aang wants Airbending in any form to survive after his death, he's going to need a billion kids. While I could definitely see Katara wanting children, I don't see her as the barefoot pregnant type.

I'm not convinced that Aang has a clear picture of Katara. She has flaws, which is good! Does Aang see them?

I get the feeling that, while they are helping each others' skills grow as they travel the globe, they are also preventing each others' personalities from growing. As long as Aang is around, Katara has someone to mother. As long as Katara is around, Aang has someone who prevents him from feeling the full weight of his responsibilities. Again, this is worse in season 1, but how often did Katara deny that Aang was to blame for something that was at least somewhat his fault? Aang will never become a fully rounded person until he can look at his flaws and mistakes dead on and say "my bad" without a Katara in the background going "no you're perfect!" Katara deserves to find out what kind of person she is outside of a nurturing role. Quick thought experiment: what if you pair Katara with someone who needs no nurturing, or better yet, nurtures her? And what if you pair Aang with someone as bluntly truthful as Toph? Katara and Aang might find both of those situations uncomfortable at first, but I think it would contribute to their growth.

Aang having a crush on an oblivious Katara would be a great single season arc. I think it would fit both of their characters well, and I think Aang growing past latching on to the first person he saw after the iceberg would be a good way to show that he's rooting himself in his time-displaced present, and fully committing to ending the war. And don't get me wrong, I love Aang and Katara both as a fighting team and as friends.

These kids are all fighting a war, and all kids. I don't mind the supporting characters having romances, because it's not like Sokka or Suki can end the war, no matter how hard they try/might want to. But I'm a big believer in doing one thing at a time, and I think if you're the only person in the whole world who can end a war, then ending the war should take precedence over dating. I'm aware that that's an unrealistic expectation and out of step with the show's theme of balance. In the real world, birth rates skyrocket during war time because people live for the moment and grab happiness (read boinking) wherever they see it. But both these kids are pre-boinking age so I'm going to be a cranky old fart about it.

Being the wife of the Avatar is a position that will often come with being relegated to second place, especially with the amount of work that undoing a century of war will take. Although she works well in a team, Katara is a naturally dominant personality. Katara did enough of putting herself in second place before the series started. I think Katara could very easily fall into the pattern of subjugating her own needs and desires and putting her husband's first, but I don't want that to happen. And one way to prevent that from happening is to prevent her from dating the single most politically important person in the universe. (To be clear, Aang would never deliberately squish a wife like that, I just think the workload of being Avatar and last air nomad would cause that to happen)

A lot of my objections to this pairing are very adult objections. I don't know what I would have thought about this pairing when I was the age of the show's target audience. It undoubtedly would have bothered me less, although I probably would have been put off by how twee it is. As an adult, all I can see are babies playing house.

As for the comics, I hadn't made any concrete plans to read them. I don't know where I'd get access to them. I'm not sure how canonical they are. I guess I should probably decide whether or not I want to read them after I've finished the whole series. I've been told that my girl Jin appears in one of them, so I definitely have some interest. I have also had the Avatar Kyoshi novels strenuously recommended to me. But so much of Avatar's charm, to me, is in the medium. And while comics are closer to animation than books are, they're still static. Avatar does movement so well.

[royal-tea-blogs]

Lily Orchard Deserves Better

These thoughts have been rumbling around in my mind for a while now and considering what happened recently with her tumblr being taken down twice and the recent situations, I just wanted to give my two cents so my brain can stop bothering me about it. Heads up for typos and grammar since I wrote this on my phone.

The first Lily Orchard video I ever watched was Over Cooked, a video about Steven Universe’s handling of Amethysts character. Now even as a 12 year old at the time I still knew it was better for me to avoid the content I know would make me mad, and I was a huge fan of SU at the time. But curiosity got the better of me and I ended up watching it.

Then I watched more. Because she made sense. Then I wanted more of her videos. I vividly remember thinking to myself “wow that was harsh” every now and then, but beyond that there weren’t too many cases where I was actually mad at her (because I’m not a pathetic diaper baby who gets mad at opinions what who said that?)

I watched her from then on rip my previous favourite show to pieces, I watched her rip brony pedos and crybabies to pieces and I loved nearly all of it, even if I didn’t agree with some of it.

It took me a while, don’t get me wrong. She discussed it herself in a few videos: people on the internet are used to a lot of shield jokes and bootlicking by the creators (which is fine!). But once I built of more of a tolerance by listening to what she had to say, I found myself a lot more critical in the long run.

Now I still haven’t quite learned my lesson on my curiosity getting me to watch things that I know will make me mad, so I’ve seen a few Lily Orchard debunking videos. Near every single time it is blatantly obvious that they either didn’t understand what her actual point was, or are deliberately misunderstanding it. I just wanted to grab my monitor and shake it screaming “THATS LITERALLY NOT WHAT SHE MEANT” but alas.

The sheer amount of harassment that Lily has gone through for OVER A DECADE is ridiculous. Especially considering a huge amount is from whiny cartoon stans who have nothing going on in their lives.

As for the criminal allegations, if they have the proof they claim (and proof that has apparently convinced other friends so apparently despite Lily’s previous support of them) then take it to a courtroom. I’m personally done listening to those sorts of accusations until something is at least ATTEMPTED to be done about it in a meaningful manner.

As for Stockholm allegations: I’ve seen the clips. I saw one years ago and it broke my heart at the time. It does seem like Lily might have written Stockholm. But I haven’t done lots of searching into that. You know why?

Lily has made it abundantly clear, for the entire seven years I’ve been watching her (at least as long as I can remember) EXACTLY where she stands when it comes to pedophilic behavior, proshippers, abuse victims, and that type of content.

Did she write Stockholm? Her behavior and stance nowadays means that, to me at least, it doesn’t matter. The Lily of today (hell, even years ago) certainly wouldn’t support such a fic and would rake the writer over hot fiery coals, she’s made that blatantly obvious.

Would admitting if she did write it been the morally correct thing to do instead of denying it? Yes.

Do I blame her for a denying it (if she did write it)? After seeing even a tip of the harassment iceberg she’s had to endure for far pettier things? I don’t blame her a bit.

Either she never wrote Stockholm and she’s always held these beliefs and behaviors, or she saw the error of her previous behavior and CHANGED FOR THE BETTER. It’s not like it would have been the last time, I see she tries her best to correct her mistakes.

Honestly? That’s good enough for me. Harassing her over a fic from a decade ago that she has either never even written or blatantly disowned and now condemn the very behavior of is just nonsense. All of it is.

Anyways Lily, I love your content and I really hope you can keep doing what you’re doing and writing what you love ❤️

[pixiemage]

I haven't seen anyone else talking about this yet, so I'm sharing a little lore bit I found on a wall outside the Glamrock Salon during my last Ruin livestream. I was doing a Bonnie% run (basically the wet floor bot glitch forced me to restart the game from scratch and speedwalk my way through deactivating all the bots in one go askjdnbajkf) and when I got to the end of the Salon section of the game, I happened to look up with the Vanny mask on and found this on the wall by the bathrooms, right before you loop through the Salon again to get into the Foxy flume ride:

"Gone for a while. Money for food on counter. Emergency contacts on fridge."

Now, this is a level that is very Cassie-focused from the get-go. We already know Roxy is Cassie's favorite, and as the level progresses we are treated to peeks into Cassie's backstory prior to the events of the game. We see her getting her makeup done with Roxy, we see the sad aftermath of her failed birthday, we see Gregory comforting her afterward, and we then see the Missing posters with Gregory's face on them. So we can only assume this sticky note is also specifically related to Cassie's story.

We don't know much about Cassie's dad, but the game does go out of its way to mention him on multiple occasions. We know he is/was an employee at the Pizzaplex. We know he was a technician of some kind. He has a Fazwrench, he "never told Cassie what happened to Bonnie" (implying he would have known that insider information), and we also see mention of Cassie enjoying the Foxy flume ride despite the fact that it closed before it was ever open to the public.

(Granted, that last one is up for debate, because half of it was a flavor text at the bottom of the pause menu, which isn't always reliable as Cassie voice. I also can't really see someone allowing a child to be a ride tester when said ride was later closed before its open due to "safety concerns"...but then again, this is Fazbear Entertainment.)

We know Bonnie is her dad's favorite, and we know he collected the lunchboxes from the old show, meaning he's been a Fazbear fan for years.

(I also love the theory implying that Cassie's dad could be one of Michael Afton's old friends we see in the FNaF 4 crying child cutscenes, because he has the same hair, skin tone, and shirt color as Cassie and is wearing a Bonnie mask to boot...but that's not a theory for this post.)

But the one thing I always wondered was, if Cassie does have a dad back home who cares about her, then why wouldn't she ask for his help in saving Gregory? Or at the very least, why would he have just let her sneak off by herself in the middle of the day when she can't be more then 10-12 year old at best? And then I found this note...

"Gone for a while. Money for food on counter. Emergency contacts on fridge."

I think Dad isn't home right now. I think he's been gone "for a while" and Cassie has been alone. It's possible that this mystery, where he's gone, is attached to the Pizzaplex too, or at least Fazbear Ent., because this franchise never has disconnected characters be mentioned in passing so pointedly like this without it being secretly significant. Though there's not much of a foundation to build a theory on for that one just yet.

But the note and its implications ALSO echo the story that Candy Cadet tells us in the basement of the 'Plex. A single parent and their child live together in their home while a monster is locked away in a basement. The parent leaves the kid home, the monster lures said kid to the basement by mimicking a familiar voice, and then the kid unlocks the door and sets it free. It's not 1-for-1 because obviously it's not Cassie's dad that the monster at the Pizzaplex chose to mimic, but it's a definite parallel that can't be ignored.

I can't help but wonder where Steel Wool plans to go with this in the next installment, since the cliffhanger they left us on can only mean that the story isn't over yet. It's like they say...it always comes back.

[Reblog edit with additional theorizing about Cassie’s dad can be found HERE]

[bloomingstay]

favorite kpop group tag~ thank you @binniesbang!

who is your favorite kpop group?

stray kids, if that was any surprise

which member sparked your interest first?

hyunjin! i've almost always been pulled in by the dancer (lee know i know but) specifically the style of dance hyunjin excels in. the isolation is so satisfying and cool. for some reason choreo always gets a song stuck in my head??

But also!! I had heard they produced their own music and that really got me interested in kpop again

who was your first bias?

chris bang 🤍 went from zero to ult within no more than two days tbh…

what makes them your current bias?

oh god. um. i'll put this in the least embarrassing way possible. (this is a kpop tumblr blog I should probably get over it)

it was a particularly bad year. i stumbled upon their silly videos (thank you stay for the edits<3) and they made me laugh. then i started seeing clips of chans room and him interacting with the boys and just like... he's so wonderful. he's generous and kind and loving and thoughtful. just a shy lil guy who also happens to be a flirt and a fucking dork and it's cute man idk shut upp

who is your bias wrecker?

i was certain i'd never have one, i truly adore each of those boys so so much.

i was however proven wrong after a very sweet, silly compilation of binnie being ridiculous. followed by a face cam of his sclass performance in the supreme jersey?? and the curls?? he has such amazing stage presence and he's a great dancer. but he kept going from his cute sweet binnie expressions looking like he was just so into it and having fun, to the "dark rapper" eyes and commanding stage presence. and like, wow. 🖤 i am a sucker for that kind of duality.

which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/wrecker?

in another reality han is my wrecker. that boy is the epitome of what i used to look for in guys: babygirl. lol. well, and insanely talented and funny and everything. I adore him

after befriending a couple seungmin stans, i started looking for pics and clips to send them and found myself so incredibly impressed with him and touched by some of the things he's said and done. plus he’s a funny little shit.

hwang hyunjin is such a sweet boy. since we got producer jinnie on the last album i have been looking back and just so impressed with his growth 🤍

when did you first discover the group?

(Upon editing I realize I read this as ‘how’ but oh well)

okokok so

i was a kpop fan 2014-2017 and went all in. kcon and concerts the whole thing

but then i was just on my usual 6 hour yt shorts binge as i tried to fall asleep and saw skz reacting to the "your eyes" mv, specifically felix's part, obviously. i watched it like 12 times just cry laughing at han screaming, hyunjin trying to escape, channie hiding behind his hands and squealing. it was just so funny to see a group kind of clowning their own shit? i thought they were hilarious.

then i saw julien (solomita) had reacted to 'topline' and i was soooo into it. immediately went to watch some mvs and decided cool i'll be a totally normal casual fan of this group’s music….. :)

THEN a lovely lady i'd followed on my 10 year old tumblr account posted about skz. i messaged her that I’d finally decided to check them out and she was kind enough to answer questions and entertain my onslaught of messages as I screamed about how much I love these boys. and she still does everyday so. thank you hana 🌸

have you ever been to one of their concerts?

not yet~

what are some of your favorite songs by them?

THIS SECTION TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG. disclaimer: I absolutely could not include non ot8 this would’ve been 30 songs (I’m probably going to cheat)

Hall of fame. bitch ever since that live stage (which was the first time I’d heard it) I’ve listened to the sclass album 3 times a week no joke, goddamn it’s so good. so just know, i pulled almost every song from that album off this list when i made cuts

levanter. a hard pill to swallow mid relationship struggles and holds a lot of meaning for me.

secret secret. i can't get over how professional this song sounds and how it was just a few years in?

leave. where i got my username~ like I said, relationship stuff. You have not yet really bloomed When the new season comes I hope the warmth will make you bloom Into a flower that never dies

sclass. *bling bling* HIPHOPSTEP. such a fucking chaotic mess of a jam.

megaverse. the breakdown? MEGAPHONE. Han, bitch? We make the rules nobody can hold me yeaaahhh. Your body shakes - STRAY KIDS EVERYWHERE ALL AROUND THE WORLD. Sorry, flawless.

gods menu. ate, bitch. chan was something the fuck else

domino. neeed I say more

social path is bomb

grow up. read lyrics for the first time just now ow

eternity. told u I’d cheat.

love poem. big cheat my list worth it

I am going to be so mad when I realize I missed a song I listen to 7 times a day but been doin this for 2 hours so I’m calling it. Also forgive me I’m still working through the discography (backwards) and haven’t listened to the full first couple albums.

the adhd is allowing no further focus or thought so i will be tagging the same friends as my last tag post no pressure <3

@channieblossoms @skzms @roseykat @thefantasyden @seungsungracha @astraysis @channieswife

Thank you again @binniesbang for tagging me~!

[owlhari]

a guide to not being ableist about norman becile

greeterings, fellow steam powered giraffe fans. while browsing becile content, i've unfortunately noticed a lot of ableism, both subtle and not, when it comes to folks talking about norman. i want to write a quick "guide" on how to not do that.

some disclaimers: this was not inspired by any particular post or user. it's a general trend i noticed, and to be fair, there are many years-old posts in this fandom with authors that may have changed since writing them.

don't take it as a personal attack if you realize you've done something mentioned in this post. take it as motivation to learn and grow!

also, i do not have a visible body/facial difference or an intellectual disability, but i am physically disabled and neurodivergent in multiple ways. i may have some "authority" on this topic, but don't take my word as the final say for any of this.

mini-essay starts below the cut.

let's start with language.

when describing norman and the 1950 incident, try to use neutral words. instead of saying he is deformed, disfigured, or crippled... say he was changed or transformed.

of course, if you are writing fic where a character is supposed to be ableist towards him, or maybe norman's feelings about himself immediately after the incident, it might make sense to use language with negative connotations.

but out of character, there's no excuse for using slurs. please don't call norman crippled. there are so many other words you can use.

why is neutral language important? because disability is not a negative thing by default. having a facial difference or a cognitive disability is not inherently bad.

(side note that yes, the official timeline uses language that is... maybe not the best. the official timeline also hasn't been updated since 2015.)

sort of related to language, look at canon for norman's speech patterns.

he appears in pages 11 and 12 of the comic, with plenty of dialogue. he does not speak "like a child" or have any apparent speech difficulties. of course, there's nothing wrong with that (i have a stutter! again, disability is neutral!) but the fact is norman speaks like every other character we see in the comic.

he enunciates himself just fine, he uses vocabulary you would expect an adult to use, he can be sarcastic and make jokes.

don't write dialogue for norman where he talks in the way you believe people with intellectual disabilities "should" talk. it just makes you look like a jerk who makes assumptions.

my last big point: wanda and norman's marriage.

it is canonical information that wanda walter married norman and took his last name. wanda's last name being becile in the timeline was confirmed by bunny bennett as not a typo or a mistake, she really did marry norman.

there is no reasoning given for their marriage, and they are never shown interacting in the comic. we don't even have a date for when they got together, aside from the fact that it was before 2015. however, this does not inherently mean their marriage was forced, that they're unhappy, or that wanda "had no other choice."

norman has been living at walter manor since at least 1956. if wanda truly did not want to be around him, why would he be there at all?

she has clearly forgiven him for what he did, else he wouldn't have been allowed to live with her for over fifty years. there are war-enhanced robots in the manor at all times, and you're telling me if norman made wanda uncomfortable in any drastic way, he wouldn't have been kicked out immediately?

of course, as i said, there is no truly canon reason behind their marriage. you're free to headcanon whatever you like. but if you're dead-set on writing that wanda was coerced or married him out of pity, i'd like you to consider why.

if norman didn't have a facial difference, if he wasn't disabled, would you be making those headcanons?

and finally... why does this matter, if norman's appearance isn't anything a human could possibly look like?

it matters because the way you talk about norman might come across as what you think of actual disabled people and it might make actual disabled people uncomfortable.

if your first thought when seeing norman in the comic (who, despite how little we see of him, seems happy and fulfilled) is that he must be a miserable man, suffering from his disabilities, with a wife who married him out of pity... i encourage you to do some reflecting about that.

thank you for reading. please be nice to disabled people, and have a wonderful day.

[unfortunatetheorist]

*Joint Theory 6 - @unfortunatetheorist & @snicketstrange*:

-The Truthful Time Period-

When EXACTLY do the events of ASOUE (Netflix & Book) occur?

Firstly:

*Happy New Year, wherever you are celebrating from!*

(This post debuts on my, @unfortunatetheorist's, blog; 00:00 GMT)

The subject of time has been one of great debate throughout the ASOUE fandom, especially with references such as the Baudelaires' favourite film being the 1938 version of Dawn Patrol and Olaf saying he bought the hourglass from TBB online.

In this theory, @snicketstrange and I have come up with what we believe to be a definitive answer, for each case - Netflix Canon and Book Canon.

A firm starting point is this line from TBB:

"In the years since, I've inquired what became of the Brothers Poe. One followed his father into the world of banking. The other lives in a cave and talks to sheep. They each think the other has it better."

This means that the time between the main events of ASOUE and the release of the first season of the series on Netflix in the ASOUE universe is enough for Mr. Poe's children to grow up and one of them to become a banker. We can assume that it would be reasonable to think about at least 10 years. This should be approximately the age difference between Lemony who appears in TSS and Lemony who narrates.

Also, Violet's line from TRR:

"Um, Dawn Patrol, the 1938 version."

This implies 2 things: there was a later remake of Dawn Patrol (hence, "version") and the Baudelaire parents must have been at the suitable age rating to watch the movie when it came out, as:

Monty: "It was your parents' favourite too."

Let's estimate to see how accurate we can be. In 1938 the film was released. Bertrand probably saw this film when he was a teenager, but perhaps not at the premiere. But maybe. (Favourite films when we are adults often arise when we watch these films in [pre-]adolescence).

So, Bertrand in 1938 could have been 12 years old. Let's put this scenario as the oldest. If he was 12 years old in 1938, he must having got married and fathered Violet at around 28 (estimate based on all of Beatrice's history with Lemony prior to her marriage to Bertrand, and Bertrand's appearance in TE). In this case Violet would have been born in 1954, and the series' main events would have been 14 years later in 1968. Lemony would be narrating the story in about 1978.

Now, thinking about the upper limit, we would have the case where the premiere of the Netflix series in our universe happened in the same year as in Lemony's universe. In this case, 2017 would be the year of Lemony's narration, and then 2007 would be the year of ASOUE's main events. So, to date, our estimate is between 1968 and 2007 (book + Netflix).

The main problem is that ASOUE in the books is quite anachronistic. Despite the aesthetics Netflix exists within the universe. But, in contrast, we can argue that Netflix at the time was a video home delivery service, as was the original Netflix. (We don't see people with internet at home in ASOUE, and a computer like in Prufrock Prep was quite rare, hence it being called 'Advanced').

[And apparently something not connected to the internet.]

And this is very interesting. ASOUE's Netflix series is meant to be a video delivery service. After all, we see in THH that there are video delivery services in the library and devices for showing videos.

The first type of Home Video to exist in our world was Betamax in 1975.

And the first microcomputer for personal use was also launched in 1975, the Altair 8800.

And if we look at a detail in LSTUA.

They are separate universes, but this photographic record is the only one dated in the entire Unfortunate universe: October 1977. It wouldn't be surprising if the series' writers (who are fans of the books) had this enigmatic date in mind, and made ASOUE take place in the 1970s.

And 2 years after the launch of home video and after the launch of microcomputers would be exactly the time needed for a newly launched technology to have spread enough to suggest services like Netflix in the world of ASOUE.

Long enough for some people to buy video cassettes and even cameras.

Here's the full picture:

So the answer to our original question:

JOINT THEORY: ASOUE is set in the 1970s.

[jell0buss-37]

My Peter B headcannons!

General HCs, however I will take requests for different HCs (only for Headcannons rn though 👀)

He's a reporter rather than a physicist in his universe.

He was probably more of a jock type, who knew more about sports. When he got bitten he got more active, but never played any team sports because he was still scared of his bullies.

He had asthma before he was bitten.

He loves the color blue, but specifically navy blue.

Loves classic rock, but like 70s sort of classic rock, so definitely more of a Kinks, Rolling Stones, Queen sorta fan.

In his Universe, Harry was his Green Goblin.

He's very emotional.

He is a HUGE horror movie buff.

Is actually a very big bookworm, especially mystery books. Growing up he was a big Sherlock Holmes fan.

His parents were actually alive, but they couldn't take care of him, and so they sent him to live with his Aunt and uncle when he was 5.

He's actually from Nebraska.

He's not a fan of his birthday, so he never makes a big deal about it.

Also gets butthurt when nobody makes a big deal about it.

His universes Gwen was actually a babysitter he had a fat crush on when he was 9. She was 8 years older than him.

He likes funny women, it makes his stomach flip whenever a spunky woman can joke with him.

More of a grease monkey than a lab rat, however he somehow is and actual whizz when it comes to many subjects. Except for Arts of any sort. He actually is not creative at all.

He has the most useless facts stored in his head, it can literally be the most out of pocket thing ever, and yet doesn't know basic things.

"Did you know that Pelicans can pull their spines through their unhinged jaws to cool off?" ".... Peter wha-"

"What do pelicans eat?" "Idk, broccoli?"

He can't sing or dance for the life of him.

But he can play the harmonica

And he likes colorful drinks. Alcoholic drinks or not.

That and Root Beer

An absolute Mug Root beer fiend

Also really good at video games, doesn't matter what game, he picks it up so fast

Looks like big dumb, but really that's just him not caring.

Has a fear of Michael Cera.

"Where are his eyebrows???"

Is literally just Nick Miller, actually.

He's a cat dad

His cat's name is Tyler

"I am sick of Tyler just jumping into the shower and getting freaked out and scratching me-" "Woah, WHAT?? Like your roommate!?" "No. My cat. Why would my roommate attack me-"

Uses punctuation when he texts so you can never tell what tone he's using when he texts

'omw now want me to get u smth from the store'

'No. Drive safe.' (so menacing???)

Has a Ned in his universe that is his office buddy at the Daily Bugle

Ned is an intern and he and Peter have horror movie marathons, and he is also an artist

Peter can't drive. Also he's literally Spiderman so that doesn't matter anyway. But if you ask him, he will not know how to drive. He fixes cars, doesn't drive them.

Never went to college, but got a degree in quantum physics online

That and a wedding licence as spiderman. He thought it'd be funny if Spider-Man could officiate weddings

Is actually scared of kids until Miles

After Miles, he is so good with kids

In his mind

Is writing his own book about a detective from New Orleans (iykyk)

Is Irish-Italian

Likes Baseball a lot because it reminds him of his Uncle Ben

His universe doesn't have reality TV

He's also a DM for Ned's DND group

Totally LARPs, but doesn't admit it

Doesn't like Apple sauce and hasn't eaten it since he was 8 because he ate too much of it and threw it up

Genuinely loves his friends interests, and will genuinely try them out or watch whatever it is they like so they can gush together or debate

Has a barber shop he goes to where he just talks with the old men there, he's been going since he was 12 because Uncle Ben took him

Can Bake really good and sew because of May

He actually asked her to teach him these skills

Has a dream to live in the Oscar Meyer Weiner mobile one day