#i have been writing this for three hours

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Aroace Sonic Shadow pt 15

She lost him at the handholding part.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[fungus-no69]

Pc/you and gn school LIs + Great Hawk doing a three legged race

Whitney is tripping you the fuck up I'm so sorry. They are going to make fun of you regardless of if you were outspeeding them or not.

Kylar is tripping you guys because they got too excited that you're that close and their legs were too weak. Carry them. Please. (--- Status btw)

Depending on your physique and athleticism, you are either keeping pace with Sydney or they run too fast and you fall or something. It's funny and they fuss over you after the fact because you could have gotten hurt. The more corrupt they are, the more likely they are to laugh at you before helping.

Robin will try to keep pace with you no matter how fast or slow you are. Please don't outrun them they will make the saddest most sopping wet cat face at you.

Great Hawk is confused, they simply Pick You Up. Goodbye <33

[shitouttabuck]

oh my god nina!!! 8 for the bedsharing prompts if it takes your fancy <33

thank you sweet peach this scratched an itch !!!

bed-sharing prompts: whispering “Oh, you are going to be very embarrassed when you wake up.”

Eddie’s not old—he’s not even 30, despite the near-constant jokes about his senior citizen-isms he seems incapable of shaking. And he wouldn’t even say he’s a man of creature comforts. He just likes familiarity, and routine, and his own goddamn bed.

Quarantine has brought a lot of change: being away from Chris, living in a single-occupancy apartment with three other people, and sharing a bed with all six-foot-two of Evan Buckley.

Currently, this means waking up at some wretched hour and squinting in the moonlight filtering in through half-open blinds, because the aforementioned best friend has stolen Eddie’s pillow from right under his head yet again.

Eddie groans quietly, easing his neck out of the crick it’s cramped in. He glares at the enormous lump snoring serenely beside him and pats the mattress blindly for his pillow. Eyes adjusting to the dark, he’s greeted by the same sight he’s woken to at ungodly hours thrice this month already: Buck with his gigantic thieving arms wrapped happily around Eddie’s goddamn pillow as he clutches it to his chest, dead to the world.

“Fuck’s sake,” Eddie mutters, reaching out and tugging the end of the pillowcase to no avail. Buck’s vice-grip doesn’t falter even in sleep. Eddie’s usually able to coax it out of his grasp without waking him, but it takes a minute, and their last shift had been a full-body workout from hell, and Eddie just wants to go the fuck back to sleep with a single measly pillow supporting his exhausted head. Surely that’s not too decadent a luxury to expect.

He tugs again, harder and meaner than he normally would. The pillow inches out of Buck’s hold, and Eddie grabs a firmer handful to yank it away, grunting triumphantly when it pops free.

“Hrmmph,” Buck grumbles, crease appearing between his eyebrows. Eddie stills, holding his breath as he gauges Buck’s proximity to consciousness. He thinks he’s in the clear, but then Buck murmurs unhappily and rolls ever-so-slightly towards Eddie.

“S’your turn to be th’ li’l spoon,” he slurs, and Eddie freezes even further. “’M th’ big spoon t’night.” He pats half-heartedly at the mattress between him and Eddie, jaw going slack again after a few seconds.

Eddie grins, just barely containing the snort that bubbles up at Buck’s sleep-talking. There’s enough distance from Ali and even Abby, post-train debacle, that means he can wring weeks’ worth of teasing out of this. Whichever one of them it is Buck’s dreaming of, Eddie thinks multiple nights of interrupted sleep allow him a little good-natured—if merciless—ribbing.

He shifts onto his back, shoving the pillow under his head and shutting his eyes with a sigh, but the movement has Buck mumbling again. His face is mashed into his own pillow, words barely intelligible when he says, “Y’re littler than me. C’mon, lemme be big spoon.”

The snort sneaks out of Eddie then, just a bit. He barely knew either woman, but he can’t quite picture them indulging Buck in this line of conversation. It’s—sweet, if deeply mortifying for Buck himself to know anyone else has heard it.

Buck snuffles discontentedly, forehead scrunching as he reaches out in search of the pillow, still asleep.

“Oh, you are going to be very embarrassed when you wake up,” Eddie whispers, wondering if there’s more entertainment about to be provided and if it’s worth getting up to unplug his phone and catch the tail end of this on video.

“Urgh,” asleep-Buck responds, patting the bed a little more insistently when he’s unsuccessful in his pillow-retrieval endeavours. “Wh’re—c’mere. Eddie. Y’re li’l spoon.”

This time when Eddie freezes, it’s such a sudden locking of every joint in his body that his neck cricks in the opposite direction. He barely feels it, singularly focused on Buck’s latest garbled complaint, because—is Buck awake? Is Buck dreaming about him?

He’s frozen so still he doesn’t realise Buck’s questing hand is now well in range of Eddie himself, and he jolts back into his body when Buck’s strong, calloused fingers wrap around his wrist.

“C’me back,” he whines, tugging at Eddie while shuffling closer at the same time. Eddie holds himself carefully still, hardly daring to breathe as Buck slowly but surely plasters his long, long body along Eddie’s side, hitching one leg over Eddie’s thigh before flinging an arm across his torso and dragging him nearer.

“Mm,” he hums, brow smoothing out. His cheek rests on Eddie’s shoulder, face smushed but seemingly satisfied. Eddie’s arm is trapped between his own side and Buck’s stomach, and he worms it under Buck’s body almost on autopilot, more to get comfortable than anything else. This leaves him basically cradling Buck to him, and Buck gives one final happy grunt before burrowing his face into Eddie’s neck and going limp, a dead weight over Eddie’s right side.

Eddie makes his fingers relax where they’re clutching the back of Buck’s t-shirt. This is—fine. Normal and fine. So Buck isn’t dreaming about cuddling an ex-girlfriend, he’s dreaming about holding Eddie. They’ve been living out of each other’s pockets more than usual recently, leaning on each other a little heavier through a global pandemic and missing Christopher. Eddie’s told himself it’s because of constant proximity, and maybe it is, but whatever the reason, if Buck’s subconscious is embracing that vulnerability in this way, that’s fine. He’s an affectionate guy, and while it’s relatively new for Eddie to be on the receiving end of that from another man, he’s not one to shy away because of someone else’s archaic ideas of masculinity.

And—hold on. Y’re littler than me? Was that what Buck said? Eddie huffs indignantly, and then huffs again for different reasons, feeling his cheeks heat. He doesn’t know why, but he pulls Buck a little closer.

It’s still normal and fine, he finds, turning his head to press his nose into Buck’s curls. That surprises him a little, that there’s no freak-out of any kind accompanying—whatever this is. Buck smells like vanilla, because he used Chim’s fancy shampoo that’s actually Maddie’s fancy shampoo because both of them are missing her something fierce, and he’s definitely drooling onto Eddie’s neck, and now that he’s not sleep-talking he’s back to snoring like a motorcycle, and Eddie’s slipping under before he can marvel any more at just how normal and fine it all is.

When the moonlight is swapped for sunlight, Eddie stirs to Chim singing along to radio in the kitchen downstairs. Buck blinks awake right alongside him, cheek imprinted with creases from Eddie’s collar and turning pink as he hastily peels himself away.

“Oh, um, sorry,” he says, voice rough with sleep. He contorts his body in surprise trying to roll off Eddie’s arm. “Did I—sorry, Eds.”

Eddie works his arm back under Buck, easy and deliberate. “S’fine,” he yawns. “It was my turn to be the little spoon.”

In his peripheral vision, Buck turns a brilliant red, and Eddie gives him a reassuring squeeze before taking great joy in telling him just how embarrassed he should be about the contents of his dreams.

(Buck’s mortification is blessedly short-lived, since the contents of Eddie’s dreams are equally embarrassing in the very exact same way, as it turns out.)

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

[vibrating slightly, not unlike a heavily caffeinated chihuahua] hello, respectable Raven expert. do you have the time, means and brain juice to infodump at me about Azarath? I am in a hell of my own creation (possessed by a post canon fanfic idea, I'm sure you've managed to catch that from my deranged ramblings in your replies earlier this week) and I don't know how much lore I'm gonna need from Raven's past. Backstory. Stuff. I remember bits and bobs from the show but y'know. You prolly know all manner of juicy bits from beyond it.

That I do, my friend!

So here's the thing: there are a few different versions of canon, and what I consider to be the biggest tone in Raven's upbringing in the comics (they feared and hated her) was directly contradicted by Arella's words to her in the cartoon ("you always had the love of your people" and a "home here [in Azarath]").

But if you're asking for MY take, I've chosen to ignore that line in the cartoon entirely, because they never developed it. The comics, on the other hand, had an entire 20-page issue about it!

(And in the Daughter of Darkness miniseries there's an entire conversation about it, but it's just a couple of panels and it retcons some things that I've also elected to ignore.)

So let's start with what you already know if you're planning a post-canon Teen Titans '03 cartoon series-based fanfic:

Raven was born in Azarath.

When Raven was born, "they looked into [her] future." A prophecy was built upon this, likely what Arella references when she says "It was too late for Earth, just as it was too late for Azarath."

Raven was born to be "a portal" to bring Trigon to Earth.

She was "protected by the monks of Azarath".

Arella tells her those lines about "love of your people" and "a home here."

And that's about all we've got.

(This show, for all its glory, really didn't do much with backstory......)

But if you're anything like me, that's not enough to work with! That doesn't sate your desperate hunger for information and character exploration!

So if you want to follow me on a journey across comic canons and continuities, delving into ~45 years of Teen Titans history, let's go!

It's time to play in my favorite sandbox.

Before we begin: Raven's backstory comes with some heavy tw's, namely for attempted infanticide, attempted suicide, heavily implied sexual assault, and like... emotional neglect? Is that a thing you tw for??? It's Heavy, whatever way you slice it.

Alright, SO! The first thing you need to know about Raven's comic book history is that, so far, it spans about four and a half decades-- that's nearly HALF A CENTURY of stories! There have been times when she wasn't there (dead at the time, mostly), but even the same writer has given her a few different backgrounds.

The original is my favorite. It's the one that's explored the most in-depth, it's the most deliciously angsty, and the one that developes important elements of Raven's childhood, especially Azar.

This was all written in Tales of the New Teen Titans #2. It was part of a four-issue miniseries that existed solely to explore the Titans' origin stories! #2 was 100% solely about Raven.

The vast majority of it takes place in Azarath. I was so tempted to grab some panels for you, but I have all the quotes I need memorized anyways. If you want, you can read it here:

(This is optional, especially if you plan on leaning into the fact that the cartoon DOES differ from the comics. Take what you like and leave the rest; that's the fun part about a franchise with so many different canons, if you ask me!)

But you asked me for an infodump, not a link, and I am eager to oblige.

There's so much I could talk about! But the biggest points that I think could serve in a story are these:

Even from infancy, Raven was taught to suppress her emotions.

This was taken to an extreme level. She was even TAKEN AWAY FROM HER MOTHER so she wouldn't feel those mother-daughter emotions.

Raven was raised instead by Azar, who was the High Priestess to the Azaratheans, their leader, but more importantly, "she was the only one who treated [Raven] like [she] was something special." She calls Raven "my dear Raven" in one panel, which is exceedingly warm compared to the way the other Azaratheans treat her.

Raven's birth caused chaos and destruction throughout Azarath, and for this and her father's identity, the Azaratheans hated and feared Raven. Many were convinced she was evil.

One man was so desperate to get Raven out of Azarath, he tried to kill her as a baby.

Trigon saved her when Juris tried to cast her into limbo. The man was killed in the blast.

Raven wasn't allowed to play as a child; she was trained instead, taught how to use her powers (especially, in the comics, those of an empath and "traveling between the dimensions", i.e. basically teleporting).

She was constantly told that if she didn't control her emotions, control her powers, control Trigon's influence over her, she'd unleash Trigon on the world and he'd end all life forever.

No pressure. /s

Azar died when Raven was 10 years old. Now that she had been taught how to control her emotions ("if you do not TEMPT her"), she was allowed to see her mother.

But her mother was AFRAID of her. On her deathbed, Azar had told Arella not to fear her, but Arella apparently couldn't help it.

The Azaratheans had never told her who her father is. (Implicitly, she didn't know why she had these powers, or why she had to be raised this way, or why everyone was afraid of her.)

Raven met Trigon sometime between age 10 and 18. (I suspect it was age 13, because in the panels between Azar's death and this event, Arella mentions "For the past three years", and there's no other indication of time.)

Basically, Trigon summoned Raven out of Azarath and into the interdimensional limbo, Arella followed, Trigon humiliated her, and Raven tried to defend her mother, but wound up getting her soul zapped by Trigon, who "baptized" her in his, uhh... "essence." (I'm not gonna touch the verbiage there.)

Trigon let Raven and Arella go back to Azarath, but Raven literally asks Arella Who That Was. Was He Really Her Father?

Arella, apparently, could only hold her and cry.

...whew. It's not a happy story. (But it's Raven we're talking about. These things rarely end happily for her...)

That list got longer than I meant it to, oops. There's a Lot Happening in those 20 pages.

Before the backstory miniseries came out, there was also a bit of backstory in some of the very earliest issues of New Teen Titans (1980), but that mostly focused on Arella and how she met Trigon.

Tl;dr on that, Arella was a foster child who felt unloved by the families that took her in, and she turned to the occult. She somehow got wrapped up in a group actually practicing those things. (The 80's comics didn't get into How but later comics did, more on that in a moment). They performed a ritual Bride-of-Satan style, Trigon was who they summoned, and Arella was the bride. And then, well, Raven happened. (She had changed her mind when she saw what Trigon really was. Trigon didn't. He forced it.)

Arella was tormented though, and after trying to get help and not being given any, she tried to commit suicide in an alleyway. Strangers came to her, and they took her to Azarath. (Arella thought she was in Heaven.)

Now here's where it gets... fucky. Come about 2003, right when our beloved cartoon series is starting, a comics writer by the name of Geoff Johns takes on the Teen Titans for the first time in his career (and god, I wish it had been the last). The relevance to Raven is especially in that he added quite a lot of detail to Arella's backstory.

He mostly added that Arella was in fact being abused in her foster homes, implied she was a rebel child, and added details about Arella being uncomfortable during her pregnancy (I believe he was the one who wrote in that panel where Arella's being held down and begging the people there to kill her).

He also added the specifics of how Arella got involved in the cult: She had run away from home, come to a "Church", and drank some water they had. The people who ran the church found her, and inducted her.

Geoff Johns added a LOT to the Teen Titans stories, so you can feel free to take or leave what he did. I won't deny that his revival brought our favorite team back to the forefront of DC's lineup, but he also made my NOTP canon in the most shoehorned way I could've imagined. (A morgue, Johns? Really?)

But that's a tangent for another essay entirely.

A handful of real-life years after that (or before that? The site I'm looking at says it was in 2001, but I didn't read it until like... 2006?), there was an issue of, I believe, Legends from the DC Universe that touched on Raven's backstory a bit.

Relevant to this question, it added that when she was 15, the very first time she came to Earth, she was so overwhelmed (by all the chaotic emotions, via empathy), she had to flee back to Azarath and was unconscious for "seven passings". (What's a passing? Is that an hour? A day? I have no idea. But it's implied to be A Long Time, Arella seems pretty concerned about it.)

For awhile, Raven's backstory mostly went unaddressed unless Trigon was involved.

(And comic writers really LOVE involving Trigon in a Raven story. Most of them try to re-do the Terror of Trigon storyline from around 1984, the New Teen Titans comic book storyline that the season 4 arc of the show was based on! It was epic; there was the prophecy, Azarath's destruction, lots of mystical craziness.)

((But as with many pieces of media, the original version in the comics was by far the best. I think the cartoon is the only successful adaption of that I've seen, besides maybe Justice League vs. Teen Titans but Azar's not even really mentioned unless I want to extrapolate "Mother of Azarath" being a call to her, so they lose points for that. I'm only half joking. At least the cartoon included the rings of Azar, even if they're not NEARLY as important as they were in the original...!))

Fast forward a few years in real-time. New52 did some fuckery with Azarath being a place Trigon ruled, but we don't acknowledge New52 here. It was a mess and the New52 Teen Titans comic was... not great. The Villains Month event also had an issue that hinted at a hero named Alezandra and a different origin story between Arella and Trigon, but that story thread NEVER got picked up to my knowledge.

In the DCAMU (DC Animated Movie Universe), specifically in Justice League vs. Teen Titans, Raven tells a backstory similar to the prior comics in a lot of ways, but she adds in that she didn't "fit it" on Azarath, and she had been aware enough of Trigon being her father ("the monster that created me") that she could summon him to Azarath. (In hopes of understanding more.) She also spent an indeterminate amount of time in his realm. (Hell, implicitly, I think?) And then she trapped him in a crystal and left him there.

In that Daughter of Darkness miniseries I mentioned (one of three Raven-centric miniseries), she tells her school friends about her childhood, and she says there were no other children, and no books. I choose to disregard this, personally, because:

1.) Raven had to have learned how to read SOMEWHERE. Sure, the miniseries says she was barely taught English, and I've always interpreted her diction in the 80's comics to be that of someone who's not used to speaking aloud, but especially if we're leaning heavily on the cartoon, Raven reads voraciously. It's the whole Thing with Spellbound (nudge nudge). Books and Raven are inextricably linked in my head because of that cartoon, and I latched onto that too hard to let it go just because Marv Wolfman randomly decided she wasn't allowed to read as a kid for some reason.

2.) In TotNTT #2, there's a sort of montage splash page where she's looking at a book with Azar, she looks Intrigued, and that just pulls my heartstrings in wonderful ways. I'm Keeping That, Thank You.

3.) This one's a little more obscure, but there's a line in a New Teen Titans issue (I can't remember the issue number) where Wally is checking on her, asking her how college is going, and she says she's doing fine because she was raised by people who knew how to study. College wouldn't be easy for her if she couldn't read, and also it's DAMN hard to "know how to study" if you don't have books! What else would they be studying?!

4.) I see some minor plot holes in the claim of there being No Children, largely because in the 80's issue, she points to other children playing, while she had to train. Also, not to be awkward, but Raven was a baby and her mother wasn't feeding her. She canonically had a nursemaid. But... uhhm. You don't lactate spontaneously, you know? I theorize Galya had children of her own and that's how Raven had anything to eat.

...anyways.

In the comics, in the entire several decades of comic book history, Raven's backstory is absolutely devoid of that "love of your people" and any sort of feelings of "having a home here". For my own personal fanfictional purposes (and believe me, I Have Many of Those. Gestures widely at how my main OC's entire backstory relies on Raven having been abhorred.), I've decided to lean into the comics. There's just so much more information, so much more DETAIL, and so many more EMOTIONS!

If nothing else, I'm not sure I can imagine even mystical, pacifistic Azarath having a child they knew was going to cause the end of the world, and NOT have people who were afraid. That's just human nature, you know?

I'm realizing I didn't say much about WHERE she was raised, so let me remedy that right now: Again, drawing from the comics, Azarath was a place of great mystical power and EXTREME pacifism. When I say "extreme", I mean they don't believe in violence for the sake of self-defense, they don't seem to believe at ALL in self-defense actually. At least not if it means fighting or violence or resistance. Nonresistance, that's the word. Complete and total NONRESISTANCE. Not to defend yourself, not to defend someone you love, never. The ultimate endpoint of philosophies where you just "let it be".

(Raven has always stood in opposition to that. Obviously. Kinda hard to be a superhero and also be entirely pacifistic.)

Azarath was created "between the dimensions" by the first Azar (the grandmother of the woman who raised Raven). When Azarath was founded, they took those peoples' souls and actually separated out the violent urges and sent it all away.

Also, in the earliest 80's comics, it was those same evil urges that later coalesced into Trigon, which lends itself to some REALLY fascinating thoughts if you think too hard about how Trigon was the one who destroyed Azarath!

But most comic writers chose to ignore that little bit and one even made him more of a Green Lantern flavored creation. (I forget exactly how it happened, but Trigon was still created out of Someone's Evil Becoming Sentient, basically.)

The Azaratheans seem to retain that power to pacify violent urges though, if no less than two of the Raven miniseries' endings are to be believed... (Spoiler alert?)

There's so much I could say here, but the line between what's cold hard canon and headcanon is a little blurry for me, because I think my headcanons are fully grounded in canonical fact, but others have interpreted the same lines to mean very different things...

I am physically withdrawing my hands from the keyboard here because I love talking about Azarath, I have so vastly many headcanons about it and some wacky adventures in both writing and certain pop-culture-influenced practices, and I can write a TEXTBOOK on what I know and think and believe and headcanon about Azarath! But it's the background setting to your question. I think the people and events are, perhaps, more important. If you have anything more specific you'd like to know, just ask!

Please! Please ask me about Azarath.

Oh, I do have this tag for all things Azarath, but I don't have a tag on just my Personal Extrapolations and Headcanons. Or canon. (I... really like Azarath. And as I've told you before, I tag meticulously. So of course there's an Azarath tag, too. When I'm babbling, I usually bring up the canon details that lead to my conclusions...)

I will say though, that being raised in Azarath was the only way for Raven to learn how to control her powers / emotions / Trigon's influence. It's a place of study and discipline, meditation is par for the course and they forced themselves to get rid of violent urges, and Azar said if they didn't keep her with them, there was no hope for the world. (Not in so few words. She mostly said "This is what would happen if we Didn't Do This" and showed divinations of places exploding. But that's the idea.)

So there's the infodump you asked for. I've been sitting on this question for two days and mentally compiling everything I want to say. This isn't even everything (I haven't poked a single bit at the tension evident between Raven and the Azarathean Council after she leaves for Earth), and hell, half of this might be extraneous and you may end up using Absolutely None of This in your fanfiction.

But even if you don't use a word of this, I'm SO curious what you'll do with your ideas! I have indeed been watching your tags and I'm delighted to see the creative juices flowing in that direction! Let me know if you end up writing this thing, okay?

P.S.: Calling me "respectable Raven expert" made me raise my eyebrows at first-- I mean, you're not wrong. But then it made me smile. I hope I've lived up to that title, and I hope you enjoyed reading this! Or, at the very least, that I helped you decide if you want to include comic canon or not.

[cant-breathe-without-you]

[sainz100]

💚 he's proud of his tortellino

[oh-no-its-bird]

As with all of my blogs on tumblr I found you via Fugaku.

<3

The way god intended !!!

[bidisaster-peanut-romano]

soo hi everyone!! i'm back on my bully essay/meta/something writing!! sort of. i did this.

anyways anyone who's been on this page for some time know how from time to time i have insistently mentioned the parallels between lola and peanut, right?

welp! that was a joke but the time has finally come!! a super-pretentious essay just for the fun of it!! (and also bc i haven't been writing actually argumentative texts in like months perhaps a year, so. yikes, i really need to practice again)

word count: 2.2k WOAH. IM SORRY

i, in my corner, with my monstrous needs. — susan sontag, as consciousness is harnessed to flesh

take this quote both as a title and an anticipation of what is to come. the essay will be distributed analyzing first the dependence of each of them on johnny, to then draw comparisons. i'll make sure to steer as away from headcanons as possible, sticking closely to the source text. obviously, some things' interpretation might be ambiguous, but, you know. your usual occupation hazard.

also, a disclaimer before we start: while they are psychologically complex and there is always a mimetic intention in developing them, these are fictional characters, and, as such, their primary function is to be vessels for different themes, questions and so forth. therefore, i will prioritize meaning and themes over moral implications and similar elements.

i. peanut

for how much i can adore talking about him, the way peanut depends on johnny is very much on the nose; worn on his sleeve, even. in 11:11 minutes of voice lines, he mentions johnny 30 times.

many interpret this as the caricature of a boy crush, but i have reasons to believe it is much less cute than that.

the problem is that, really, more than trying to identify specific situations... peanut seems to rely on johnny for a significant part of what he does. when he does good at dodgeball:

Look at me, Johnny, look at me!

almost like a child calling for his parent's attention to be praised. he calls johnny's name when he's going through hardships, when he's scared or when he's sad.

more than someone he just loves, johnny is a point of reference. whenever there's something going on, whenever he does or has to do something, his first thought goes to johnny; vice versa, what johnny asks of him is his priority.

I gotta tell Johnny! No time. I gotta see Johnny now. Gotta help Johnny. What can I do next to please Johnny? I mean Lola! I mean…

(this also goes in a "negative" direction, envy being the other side of the medal to adoration. especially because, in some way, this reliance on johnny might be felt by him as emasculating, and, being johnny his model of masculinity, adding it to the napoleon complex thing, it's not hard to guess why it can be so unpleasant. we can see this manifest through some of the things he expresses in regards to lola- not as much an interest he has towards her, but the interest he wishes to have from her- which are a bit more different than it might seem at a first glance. but this is a mouseketool we'll need later. still:

Last time I saw her, Lola made eyes at me, not Johnny!

do we really need this part? heh. i'm not sure, but it's always good to point out)

(also, just because, for the purpose of this analysis, it might be useful to specify: while these sentiments are very much implied in peanut's canon quotes, we have no evidence in canon in what measure they are reciprocated by johnny. the fandom has universally agreed that johnny also views peanut as his Best Friend In The World; while in some measure, they must be at least a bit close, i think it is even safe to say, given the caricaturist nature of bully's characterizations, that johnny holds peanut in less consideration that peanut deludes himself into believing. quoting another post of mine, the kids who show some level of obsession towards their leader mention him on average ten or less times (gord mentions derby eight times, parker six times, kirby mentions ted five times). the leaders don't usually make names at all, that much is true; however, peanut mentions johnny 30 times, and, even in front of this proportion, johnny mentions peanut 0 times. just to make that clear)

overall, what undeniably shines through his voice lines is a feeling of general inadequacy, whether about his height, or his strength in front of a bigger adversary. the audios in which he tries to show off range from being disingenuous, to straight up improbable.

crossing what we have until now said, it is not hard to come to the conclusion that he really tries to make up, to fill this empty feeling of inadequacy by taking pride in his role as johnny's second in command.

while i am a big fan of bully's characteristic of having left much content out of the main game, leaving the gamers to dig it up for themselves, i do believe that scrapping some of the stuff that was prepared for peanut is a loss. we have a number of voice lines coming from chapter 3, in which it was heavily implied how important peanut's role as johnny's right hand man was.

for example, much like... all other seconds in command, really, he was to be followed and then fought in the rumble, before you could get to johnny, with the specific duty to cover his back. even his very first scene, the opening cutscene of chapter 3, i believe, is not to be underestimated. most of the other people, as far as i recall, call you when they need it in person; johnny, however, sends peanut. making him, de facto, an extension of himself, almost.

again, you choose the motivation. what is important, from a narrative point of view, is that peanut clings to johnny through these acts of service, almost making it the foundation of his personhood.

basically, he makes it so that, if he can't be of help to johnny, his whole self is fundamentally annihilated, giving himself completely to johnny.

ii. lola

with lola, reading between the lines gets a bit more difficult; first of all, because lola is much less transparent than peanut, her insincerity being a supporting beam of the whole chapter 3. secondly, whether she was done dirty by the creators or not, it is undoubted that being the perspective that of a teenage boy (namely, jimmy, but we certainly, as viewers, are brought to sympathize more with johnny than with lola) with all the prejudices it can bring with itself.

however, it doesn't mean that there isn't anything to work with- quite the contrary, actually. the issue with lola is that there is a certain amount of layers to get through before gaining a satisfying perception of her as a character. still, we're here to try our best, aren't we!

even behind the muddiness of her intentions and the manipulation she shows herself a master at, it is clear from the second we first meet her that what she does is in function of johnny.

to get through this mess with order, we'll start from an easy, measurable numeric information: lola mentions johnny in her audio files 19 times. which, we're assessed, IS a considerable amount.

we have extensively talked about the way her cheating patterns are a strategy not to succumb to the passive role of the girl in the heteronormative, patriarchal prototypical couple (there's a post here breaking down a lot of this stuff, if any of you is interested!!), so, instead of this, i want to focus on what lies beneath that behavior.

ultimately, the whole point is that lola expects and wants johnny to fight for her. whether is it because she feels taken for granted, or just because he can't perceive it if not through grandiose gestures like the rumble- your interpretation will work; she wants to see johnny fighting nail and teeth not to lose her, she wants him to show her that he wants her.

she's all about that attention, and she knows exactly what and how to do to get it. and i think this is especially clear when you compare the moments in which she knows there's no advantage she could go for; when she has understood that jimmy won't fall for her manipulation, when algie and chad leave her unsatisfied, when norton openly accuses her and antagonizes her - she loses her temper, lets go of that sweetened and/or flirtatious voice tone, abandons that specific kind of gesturing. she doesn't care anymore about obtaining something. she was actually angry, and she was actually upset that johnny had disappeared.

in some of her audios, she references johnny with some amount of fondness, as well:

Johnny and I were on the best date ever.

(there is also a voice line in which she says "He told me he likes me because of my personality. Isn't that sweet?"; due to it being a general chatter and not exclusive to one chapter, i assume it is relatively safe to assume she is quoting johnny. however, as i said at the beginning, we're trying to stay as close to canon material as possible, so, do your thing- and i'm open to arguments!!)

a considerable amount of audio files, however (which will lead us to our final point) is about her... calling for help for johnny, or stating, confidently, that he will come save her, or avenge her later.

Someone get Johnny! Johnny's gonna get you for this. Johnny is gonna kill you!

but wait... i have some sense of déjà vu...

You're gonna be sorry when Johnny finds out!

iii. two faces of the same medal

if i had to pick an effective image for a metaphor, i'd say that the thing about lola and peanut is that they are both dogs looking for someone to take their leash; we’re talking here about an exclusive relationship with someone they can rely totally on, someone we’ll call the Other (with a capital o, distinguished from just other. yes it is unnecessarily complicated i’m sorry).

for what my professor would call accidents of history, it happened that both of them found that Other in johnny.

each of them attempts at creating an exclusive relationship with the Other, one foolproof and fundamentally… perfect. perfect in the way that everything works like oiled gears, in the way that every next move is predictable, in the way that any accident will not break the created equilibrium. (even if, in the general sense of the term, lola and johnny's relationship is everything but perfect, it is in the connotation that we have established here. lola is aware that, no matter what she does, johnny will come back around. hell, the very thing that she does is aimed at keeping that balance; specifically, keeping him a bit on the edge, pushing him into a corner where he has to actively make an effort to keep her close.)

they both hide something they are ashamed of, regulating not only their actions and reactions but their very way of existing in the world, in order to keep that gear working, in order to remain in johnny's hand. lola hides that craving for a genuine and stable affection, dissimulating it with the cheating and the fatuous physical demonstrations of closeness; peanut hides his sense of inadequacy and complex of inferiority, by being the tough and reliable second in command.

basically, what they mean to achieve is a sense of security, the safety of not really being the one to lead but, at the same time, finding a purpose, other than a shield from the outside world that they are not willing to concede themselves to. like a... symbiotic relationship?? i was going to say parasitic, but, yknow. the Other does get some advantages, which are, respectively, peanut's acts of service and lola's capacity to boost johnny's pride.

now, of course, johnny is not aware of either of their play. which makes it even better, since, as we already said, both of their approach to the relationship needs some degree of insincerity.

like, i don't deny that johnny might be a good friend, or a loyal one. but he is an oblivious, prideful fuck who can't see past his own nose; he's got a tendency to make it all about himself - which of course goes perfectly with what we said about both peanut and lola making the Other their center, taking up, in a certain way, a passive role in the relationship.

this way, both of them aim at creating with johnny a relationship that is, in a way, codependant and conditional, in which the do ut des (their respective "service" ↔ johnny's guarantee of stability) creates the foundation of the very relationship.

this, of course, brings up the problem of exclusivity; on which, however, i prefer not to delve into too much, as this would bring us to the topic of their antagonism which... isn't really what i wanted to go for, at least not here. (it would risk bringing us a bit too close to my subjective interpretation and too far away from the canon, which i PROMISED i wouldn't do. however, someday i might elaborate on that??? idk , please do lmk if someone's interested around here)

i will, however, show you a diagram (it looks like a triangle- i guess it is, but it is VERY important that it is a pyramid, with a top and a larger foundation) and a quote, to wrap this up bc i think it is already WAY too long and ramble-y lmao. let me know what you think anyway, my ask box is always open <3

it almost feels like a joke to play out a part when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart you know i'd rather walk alone (i'd rather walk alone) than play a supporting role if i can't get the starring role -- starring role, marina and the diamonds

[moeblob]

having a stressful time at work but i think it's very important to point out the other day i was asking a guy for help and he's like aight gotcha and then we go to this freezer room and he, from somewhere beyond a mound of boxes, just goes "you like anime right?"

sir this is the FIRST TIME we have spoken how did you clock that.

(he claims i had the vibes of someone who liked it then i was like oh like the woman in the deli wearing a jujutsu- and before i can finish the series name he says "no not her, she just liked the shirt. she's never watched anime". . . oh. i see. you have already had this debate with her then. okay.)

EDIT UPDATE:

So I got clocked AGAIN as a weeb by a coworker because I saw part of her outfit and was like "oh, Attack on Titan?" and while I then said I've never watched it she said that's fair then "do you know anything about vtubers?" and I just. Are you kidding me. I mean yeah but like. Why is your safe question with me "do you know about vtubers".

WHAT AURA DO I BRING TO A GROCERY STORE TO BE CALLED OUT LIKE THIS?

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i bombed that so hard dash 🙏🙏🙏

[starpros-sunshine]

Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope

PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?

I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me

But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.

Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).

Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.

I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line

from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)

kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.

And then dropping this?

I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.

Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?

The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4

And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:

"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.

He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.

3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.

But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.

Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)

(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)

So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p

PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game

as well as absolute banger dialogue such as

Among others <33

And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long

And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.

And that concludes my essay :)

[aries-temporis]

Anna Glass used to be part of a team that mattered. Raised in a well-off, image-conscious family, she was expected to pursue a respectable, high-status career. But even as a kid, Anna knew what she really wanted: to join the Bureau of Emotional Sanitation and become a Magical Fighter. To hunt Ghouls. To help people. To make a difference! Everyone she told thought it was a joke. After all, Magical Fighters are glorified sanitation workers - low-pay, low-prestige, and knee-deep in psychic filth. “Why would anyone want to slog through the emotional sludge of society?” they’d say. “You’ll end up working in crumbling ghettos, drenched in Ghoul guts, alongside those creepy Eaters.” But Anna didn’t care. At eighteen, she joined the Bureau with her best friend Bella. And for a while, it felt like she was living her dream - slicing through Ghouls, racking up wins, doing real good, all with her best friend by her side. Until the reality of the job hit her like a dodgeball aimed straight at her face: the endless trauma, the public disgust, the bureaucratic indifference. For Bella, it all seemed easy, like it was all nothing. But Anna? She burned out fast. By nineteen, she’d quit. Now, a decade later, she’s out of chances and out of money. With nowhere else to turn, Anna returns to the Bureau in defeat… only to be placed on a team cobbled together from the department’s least desirable misfits - the burnout, the conspiracy theorist, and two ultra cute mascots… one with some scary looking teeth. The Bureau calls them expendable. Anna’s not sure they’re wrong.

I went crazy and drew and wrote sooooo much for my magical girl/boy story idea thingie xD if this is ur first time seeing anything about them the basic premise is that Ghouls are manifestations of concentrated negative emotions and turmoil, and they're so common they're treated like a rat or cockroach infestation. the only way the Ghouls can be defeated is with the help of Eaters, little magical creatures who can eat the Ghouls (duh), after preparation from magical girls (and boys).

they also have Keepers, magical creatures meant to soothe the emotions of Eaters and keep them stable.

so basically magical girls (and boys) in this setting are kind of seen as magical janitors or exterminators more than anything else, with two cute mascots to parade around for marketability Individual character art (and Bureau notes) under the cut:

[clowningcrows]

shoutout to the audhd + auditory processing issues making me feel like a stupid fucking idiot once again

[deoidesign]

I can't wait for this to come back!!! >>> when is this coming back?

[sophsicle]

YALL i want u to read this chapter so bad. so immediately. it is WILD and there is no one for me to talk about it with but myself.