#i have games alll week every single day

[scarleart]

was going to put out some writing, i have a bit time to write some stuff for you guys but this whole week i’m slumped

[felicityfiction]

i listened to taylor swift and wanted to write a thing. woosang from ateez because their friendship is so precious!! this was written in like an hour. the grammar is bad and the tenses are alll over the place and theres nothing even resembling STRUCTURE but it’s 3am and i needed catharsis!

Wooyoung realises. Maybe a little bit too late.

the classic childhood best friends trope that i love because i think that the best kind of love develops slowly, and not all at once.

“The last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind”

Wooyoung glared at his phone, desperately wringing his hands together. pick up, pick up. fuck

the call went to voicemail. wooyoung dropped his face into his hands, pressing his palms into his eyes as hard as he could, breathing turning ragged. where are you where are you come back

he knew he had no right to demand anything at this point. this was his fault. but an eerily silent group chat sent chills down the back of his spine and left regret clawing at the back of his throat. i didn’t mean it.

he waited for a moment, then picked up his phone from the table. he scrolled down to his latest chat, rereading the messages that had already imprinted themselves onto the back of his eyelids, haunting him, taunting him.

me: god, san, please. just tell me where he is, if he’s alright.

san: it’s not my place to say anything. i can’t speak for him.

me: that’s bullshit. he’s avoiding me, not you. not all of you.

san: not the point

me: none of you are on my side.

san: how can we be? did you hear yourself last night, woo?

me: i get it i fucking get it. i was an asshole. i’m trying to make it right

san: i don’t know that you can.

the scene blazed across wooyoung’s memory, hot and painful. it was all clenched fists, parted lips and wide eyes full of-

of what, he didn’t even know. a mix of sadness, disappointment and regret.

the worst part was the lack of anger. his best friend had a temper shorter than anyone else he had ever met, but anger was easy. anger could be dispelled with time, breathing, and wooyoung’s self proclaimed irresistible charm.

wooyoung got scared when he saw emotions he didn’t recognise, not even after 10 years of friendship.

and because wooyoung was a coward, he pretended that he couldn’t see, and let his best friend walk out his front door to god knows where. that was a week ago. and in the span of that week, wooyoung spiralled. he was grasping at straws, trying to fix the situation.

nothing worked. his best friend had wiped himself off social media and gone radio silent on every messaging app. the number that he memorised like the back of his hand went straight to voicemail, every single time. the worst part was his house. it felt cold and barren, without the familiar voice trailing from the living room when wooyoung woke up.

wooyoung was missing something that he didn’t know he had.

—

“you gave me all your love and all i gave you was goodbye”

love.

wooyoung believed in love just as much as the next person. he was a clingy extrovert who thrived off attention. he had grown up with hugs and kisses from his mom, the occasional girlfriend, and hoards of his classmates in school that vied for his attention. jung wooyoung was the epitome of lovable.

jung wooyoung didn’t know how to love.

rather, he didn’t understand that love came in different forms. love could come from the most withdrawn, silent individual. you just needed to know where to look, beyond the physical affection and vocal admiration.

jung wooyoung couldn’t sense it.

not in the “tell me about your day” that always popped up when he ended dance practice at 8pm, exhausted and cranky but always ready to complain about every single thing that had ticked him off.

not in the magical cups of coffee that appeared on his school desk the day of exams, sometimes with a little post it note. “you got this”

not in the silent presence that was by his side watching him play video games with someone else. the presence that worked mutely in his kitchen, greeting wooyoung with a dinner that he never asked for, but was somehow always what he wanted. the presence that never uttered anything to ask for wooyoung’s attention, seemingly content with just being next to him.

jung wooyoung was a fool.

buried under his covers, he clamped his hands against his ears, pressing as hard as he could,as if he could drown out his own voice sounding in his mind.

are you out of your mind? he heard himself say, over and over again. this isn’t a good prank, man.

then silence. the silence that was always comfortable and reliable, suddenly turned suffocating and tense. it was as if a barrier had erected itself between him and the person he thought he knew like the back of his hand

again, those eyes. the eyes that conveyed everything his impassive face didn’t. shining with mirth when wooyoung lost a game, dripping with fondness when wooyoung danced on stage,blazing with irritation as he shoved wooyoung away from him if he was disturbing his studying.

blank, distant eyes. wooyoung felt his stomach drop, the same sensation that he felt

at that very moment, like he lost something very important that he couldn’t get back.

—

“so this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying i’m sorry for that night.”

wooyoung had had enough. all his friends wouldn’t give him a straight answer to a very simple where is he?

wooyoung was nothing if not stubborn. he was going to find him, and fix everything. he didn’t know how, but he was going to do it.

frankly, it was almost a miracle that they hadn’t seen each other in two weeks, not even by accident. it was like he was going out of his way to avoid the places in campus that he knew wooyoung was going to be at, as if he memorised wooyoung’s timetable and classes and oh

he memorised wooyoung’s timetable, classes and practices. wooyoung stilled, feet stopping beside an empty classroom as he stared blankly at the empty hallway in front of him. classes were starting, and wooyoung was supposed to be in his European History lecture, but he literally could not care less about world war 2 at this moment.

how had he never noticed?

he was always slouched against a locker when wooyoung ended a 6pm economics lecture, whining for food and sleep. always outside the dance practice room hidden in a far block on campus at 10pm on fridays and sundays, with a bottle of water and wooyoung’s favourite ice cream. he always knew when wooyoung’s exams were, and made it a point to appear after every paper, ready to take wooyoung out for chicken. as a celebration if he did well, as a consolation if wooyoung was ready to burst into tears.

always there,without fail. it was the perfect summary of their friendship for the past decade,really.

and wooyoung would be damned if he let that slip through his fingers.

walking with a flame of newfound determination, he wandered through the school until he arrived outside the science labs. as an Arts student, he was never here. perhaps because he was never the one waiting. never reciprocating.

but the large white doors of the biology labs seemed daunting to him, even as he came to a halt in front of one with a plaque reading “anatomy lab”.

anatomy practical, 5pm. block D, level 3.

that was what he found after searching up the timetable of the medical students in his year.

the clock ticked closer to 630pm, when the class would be released. wooyoung tried to use the remaining moments to compose himself. he wasn’t going to throw a tantrum, he was here to apologise. he couldn’t start with why the fuck have you not talked to me in two weeks you bastard.

he wasn’t the bastard. wooyoung was. he was prepared to start with hey, i’m sorry. can we please talk?

but then the doors swung open, and students in lab coats filed past him. some looked at him curiously, and some waved, asking about a party happening this weekend. wooyoung just nodded and smiled, chest tightening, body bracing, like he was ready to be slapped.

and a metaphorical slap had never hurt as much before.

black nike shoes screeched to a halt metres away from him. the same worn shoes that had a permanent place in the shoe rack in front of wooyoung’s door.

wooyoung was staring, and he forgot how to speak.

he couldn’t recognise the person with swollen eyes and messy hair standing in front of him. his best friend was always impeccably neat, something that wooyoung constantly teased him about.

now, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days. maybe two weeks. he looked at wooyoung as if he was going to lunge forward and sock him in the stomach.he looked at wooyoung with fear.

his lips clamped shut, while wooyoung struggled to get out the words he practiced. “i-“

he ran. wooyoung could only watch as his best friend bolted past him, barely grazing his shoulder as he fled. it still felt like a slap to the face. wooyoung was rooted to the spot, his blood felt like lead, he couldn’t move-

“if you don’t go after him, i will personally destroy you.” seonghwa glared at him, taking the place of the boy that ran, but substantially closer to wooyoung. he poked a finger into wooyoung’s chest, sighing loudly.

“he refuses to leave his house except for class. he won’t talk to anyone. he won’t go for his drone flying club or whatever the fuck he participates in. he’s broken, wooyoung, and we can’t fix him.” only you can

“fix him. fix the both of you.”

—

“if we loved again, i swear i’d love you right.”

wooyoung stood outside apartment number 4B, and his heart ached at how familiar it was. he was always welcome, but now it felt as if it was an impenetrable fortress that would swallow him whole.

he had nothing. no food, which he always used to appease his best friend’s anger. because this wasn’t anger. no prepared acts of acting cute, because this wasn’t irritation. just his heart in his hands, ready to be bared and presented. perhaps as a gift, more likely as a sacrifice. it was a sacrifice he was willing to give up.

“i know you’re in there.”

nothing

“i didn’t come here to hurt you.”

quiet.

“please.”

all he could hear was the ringing in his ears.

wooyoung breathed in once, deep. “fine. it’s okay, i’ll talk from here. i’m just banking on the fact that you’ll hear me out. it doesn’t matter if you don’t respond.”

this was the hardest thing wooyoung had ever done.

“i’m sorry. i know that’s the most useless thing to say right now, but i have to. i’m sorry i acted that way after what you said. i was being a complete idiot, and a jerk. you know i am that way, but that doesn’t excuse it. i’m really, really sorry”

breath two

“i miss you. it’s honestly been hell, these two weeks. my apartment’s a mess. all i’ve been eating is instant food, and honestly i couldn’t give a shit about all the tests we have right now. it’s always silent in there. i can’t blame all the guys for ignoring me, i deserve it, but it’s just- it’s just hard. i got used to you always being there. and it’s like i can’t function when you’re not.”

breath three

“i know i’m being selfish. i’m starting to think that i’m inherently a bad person, because even now i’m still thinking about myself. seonghwa said you haven’t left your house, that you won’t do anything. i’m sorry. fuck, i really am. you shouldn’t do all that. you shouldn’t have to suffer, you didn’t do anything wrong. i’m the one that made the mistake. so please, come back. you don’t have to come back to me, but the guys. they’re worried. so am I, but i’m past the point of deserving anything from you.”

breath 4

“i couldn’t stop thinking about that night.” wooyoung dropped his gaze, even though the door remained resolutely shut

“i know you can’t either. fuck, i messed up. i didn’t mean any of that shit, i honestly don’t know why i said that. but i’ve been thinking about it. about you. i think about you a lot.”

here goes nothing

“you’re important to me. you’ve always been, since we were dumb kids fighting over a soccer ball in the school playground. and i think i just finally realised how, how much i started to rely on you. i need you. it’s like i can’t breathe without you, and i just realised because you were always there,and i didn’t know to miss you. fuck, i miss you. “

“i’m pathetic. i don’t know how to understand you like you understand me. i don’t know why you put up with me, i’d probably get tired of myself. but you do. and i-“

wooyoung struggled to get his bearings through the shaky breaths that come through his lips, eyes blurry. there’s so much he wants to say.

like how he finally understands the meaning behind every little action that he took for granted. how his eyes have finally opened to another way of communicating, of expressing care and concern.

i know. i know it’s your language, and i must have been fucking blind my whole life to miss it but please don’t stop talking to me i’m just starting to understand.

how he realises just how much his best friend means to him, right when he’s on the brink of losing him

“i get it now. you’ve always been too good for me. and i’m sorry it took this for me to see what was always in front of me”

wooyoung can be brave for once. wooyoung can be the one giving.

—

“and if the chain is on your door, i understand.”

three words. just three words.

“i love you.”

wooyoung shuts his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in a bid to stop the hot tears. the door is still shut, and the silence is threatening to overwhelm him.

“i don’t expect you to accept that. i know i hurt you. but i had to come and say it. maybe this is me being selfish again.”

one last breath.

“but i swear on everything we’ve ever promised over the past 10 years. i mean it. yeosang, if you can hear me, i love you. i should’ve said it back that night, i don’t know why i didn’t, because now i look back and i think i must have loved you from the start.”

wooyoung blinked rapidly, and tilts his head upright to start at the block of mahogany in front of him.

“if you’re out of your mind, then i am too.” a wry smile found its way onto his lips as his mind replays a decade of laughter and memories, bitterly juxtaposed against the crippling loneliness and fear he feels right now. he’s going to walk away, and his best friend isn’t going to chase him.

“i’m gonna go now. i’m sorry, yeo. i won’t blame you for not believing me.”

—

but apparently jung wooyoung still doesn’t understand kang yeosang.

kang yeosang has never been able to push wooyoung away. not when they were 10, and definitely not when they’re 20.

someone grabbed the hood of his sweatshirt and yanked him back harshly. wooyoung stumbled, and his heart flipped in his chest. before he can comprehend anything, he’s being pinned against the mahogany door, but on the other side.

wooyoung loves yeosang’s eyes, because they burn with an intensity that is incomparable to anything else. wooyoung is still crying.

“if there’s one thing i hate about myself, it’s that i don’t know how to not love you, jung wooyoung.”

wooyoung thinks that he finally, finally, comprehends everything as yeosang crushes their bodies together in a semblance of a hug. but it’s tinged with desperation, and years of unspoken words and hidden actions. it’s the physical representation of please don’t leave me.

jung wooyoung is a fool. but he’s starting to learn.

lesson number 1: he’s in love with kang yeosang.

[irepookie]

Infinity Chapter 5

Summary: QUEEN AU where Rog (aka Rowan Queen) is a young single dad struggling to make it into music industry.

Warnings: not really. Just fluff, sappiness and swearwords here and there

Disclaimer: I don't own the pictures. The boys are based on Queen, but Piper, Gina and Callie are mine.

CHAPTER 4: MEET THE FAMILY PART II

In which Row and Gina finally confront each other.

"Thought you didn't want anything to do with us" Row made his presence noticeable for the woman sitting on the rocking chair.

He had been watching them for a couple of minutes, since returning from a last supply run for Piper's stuff. He was only gonna get a few more onesies, but ended up with:

3 rattles, six onesies (one of each color of the rainbow),

a nightlight (which, come to think of it was ridiculous because his room didn't have lids so it was never really dark due to street lamps)

and another two pinkies to add to the collection of 9 he already had at home.

Gina looked up from her granddaughter and to his son, who leaned against the doorway with arms crossed.

"If you can't beat them, join them. Is that what you're doing, mom?" He added, before she could speak.

"I'm not your enemy." She said

"Bloody seemed like it."

Gina sighed. She really didn't want to fight now, so she looked down to the infant again "Gotta admit she's gorgeous." She grinned.

He beamed proudly "You bet"

"And how are you?"

"Nearly as gorgeous"

"I mean mentally.  Cause you look like shit"

"Why, thanks Mom"

She rolled her eyes. "How are you sleeping lately?"

"Funnily enough I can't sleep at night because I'm worrying about her. Really. Had a week when I could last sleep through and I couldn't"

"Good start"

"I'll manage"

"Just promise me something"

"Depends"

" If she's actually yours..."

"She's mine mum."

"Listen. There will be times when she won't let you be. On your bloody ears for days on end. I believe you made me lose half my auditive capacity. And that's stressful. Now, you've never been the best on anger management..."

"Mom..."

"Let me finish. It's normal. It will happen. You will probably want to suffocate her with a pillow -I did sometimes when you were this little-. If that or any close thought comes to mind just put her down and walk away from her, and hit something. Do whatever you have to do, and call me. I'll help you out. But put her down first somewhere safe. Understood?"

"Mum I don't need~"

"Understood?"

"Understood"

"It's not her fault"

"I know"

"Don't make her pay for it"

"I'd never"

"I hope so"

"Really mum. I love her. I'm gonna do my absolute best, I'll be the best dad ever, I will always be there for her, I'll put her always first, I won't let anything happen to her."

"I just don't understand why you want to do this"

He shrugged, reaching over to caress her warm cheek "I just can't get enough of her, I guess. I can't explain it. She makes me... I don't know. But I can't imagine her with any other last name or any other father."

Gina grinned to herself. It made perfect sense "Speaking of last names, you got a full name?"

"Oh yes um... Piper. Piper Rock Queen" he smiled

"Oh... Err, Rock?"

"As in Rock'n'Roll of course"

Gina couldn't help an eye roll "It's too late to talk you out of it, isn't it?"

"Very much so. She's already registered." Row smiled as he had already predicted mom wouldn't like it. The idea of naming her Gina had briefly crossed his mind, but that was more common. And he knew his daughter was special, so she deserved a cool, unique name.

"So Piper Queen" Gina looked.at the tiny being in her arms.

The mentioned opened her baby grey eyes as if she knew she was the topic of conversation.

Gina had to smile. She was beautiful. She already had Row's eyes.

"Hello there Piper . I'm grandma." She cooed instinctively.

Row would deny it, but he was relieved to hear her say that. She was there for him. For them. And that was more reassuring than anything.

"Yes, hello dearie."

She let out a distressed moan

Row looked at his watch "She must be hungry" then leaned over until he was inches away from his daughter, in her short distance field of vision "You wanna come with Daddy? I bet you do." He cooed, and carefully slid one hand under her the back of her neck and her back

"Mind the head"

"You're 8 days late" he said, taking her with ease -as he had been doing it for a week- and nestled her on the crock of his arm "Good morning, you beautiful thing. We're going home tomorrow. Yes we are, I'm so excited" he spoke with high pitched voice as he gently bounced her, and Gina had to admit that he was quite a natural.

The genuine love in his eyes was the same -or even more intense- as he had have 8 days before when he had first laid eyes on her.

But that could still change quickly, a little voice reminded her.

"You're so lovely, darling." Her son continued, eyes fixed on his new daughter as if she was the only thing that existed.

His daughter.

The realization that she was now a grandmother shrunk in Gina.

Damn she felt old

And if this was to become a tradition, 19 years from now maybe she'd be a great-grandmother.

God no.

She then registered what he had said

"You're getting discharged tomorrow?"

Row looked up at her voice as if he had been snapped out of a trance "uh?".

"You're getting discharged tomorrow?" She repeated

"Oh, yes" he smiled, looking down again "Yes we are. We're going home! Yes darling. And we'll have so much fun..."

"Do you have the equipment?" Gina had to interrupt their little conversation:

It was good that he was genuinely looking forward to it, but that didn't mean he had any clue or had thought about alll of the things a newborn needed. We're talking about a boy who tried to put the washer on without detergent, and who would always leave coins in his jeans when throwing them in the laundry.

He was capable of letting her sleep in the couch and feed her cow milk from a tin a can and a straw.

"Yes. The basics anyway. Carseat, clothes, bottles, formula, diapers, pinkies, more pinkies, more clothes... Oh, hopefully I'll get the boys to help me out building the crib. Haven't had the time yet"

"Where will she sleep until then?"

"With me in bed. I know it's dangerous cause I could suffocate her and blah blah blah, but that's not gonna happen. I'll be careful and... Well let's face it we're not going to sleep much, are we?"

Gina had to chuckle "You have it all thought through."

"Of course I do"

"Okay, not bad. What about bathing?"

"The sink will do cause she's so little, right?" he cooed, and she whined in response so he went to a bag and got a bottle out "Yes sweetheart, that's your milk. Yes. I'm gonna have it heated up for ya, okay? We'll get Callie." He smiled, and as if on cue, the young woman walked past the room. She stopped for a moment when seeing the older woman.

She smiled: she knew she'd come. She stuck her tongue out at Row when he noticed her, as if saying <<I knew it>> and he waved her away with a wink, tossing her the empty bottle so she could refill it.

Gina stayed the rest of the morning. She was curious, actually, about seeing her son as a father. Turns out he handled it quite well. Once she was fed, he changed her, played with her (game consisting on him making all sorts of faces to her as she stared intently up at him, one hand on his hair and the other around his index) until she got tired and fussy. After that, he only had to call Callie once cause he had really messed up with the swaddle and both him and his daughter had lost their nerves.

"There, all done. Don't worry baby, your daddy will get it eventually." The nurse cooed at the bundle, as Row scratched the back of his blond head.

She then turned to Gina with a bright smile, and repeated the same words she had told her When they had first met 8 days earlier.

"And you must be Grandma"

And this time, Gina smiled and nodded "I am"

Then the nurse turned to Row, whose  attention was back to his child, and mouthed an "I told you."

And when he had have to go the the toilet and the babe had woken up, there had been nothing Gina could do that had calmed her down until Row finally came out and held her on his chest.

"Already a Daddy's girl. Goddamn it" the new grandmother commented with a slight grin of disbelief and marvel.

"Well I'm not complaining" Row smiled back, as he walked around the room in hopes he'd get her to sleep.

"Wait until girl wants daddy three times in the middle of the night" Gina half teased.

"Well, daddy will get up. As many times as she needs me I'm gonna be there" he kissed Piper's forehead, as she began to let her eyelids drop.

Her smile grew at the confidence in his words. Perhaps they could all make this work.

She watched as he walked the room a few more times, humming a little tune Gina hadn't heard before, and only when being sure she was off, he laid her down and sat on the sofa, between the cot and his mother.

"She's a real doll" Gina commented quietly as they both watched her sleep. "Or at least appears to be."

"Yea. She manages to stay cute even when she's crying like crazy."

"That's cause she's your daughter. I thought the same about you, but that's bullshit: every newborn baby is, objectively, ugly. But we love them anyway and that's why they become, in our eyes, the most beautiful thing in the world" she looked through her purse and got out a cigarette. (Remember this is the mid 80s, where smoking was allowed everywhere, as far as I'm concerned).

"No, mom. Not here" his eyes flicked to his sleeping daughter

"Why not?"

"It's not good for her."

"The cigarette's for me, not for her."

"She'd be second hand smoking. And her lungs are very vulnerable."

Gina scoffed. "Dear, I smoked through the first three months I was pregnant with you, then, as soon as you were out my butt, the first thing I asked for: a cigar. And then your father too. And you're fine"

"I had pneumonia three times as a kid"

"Oh please, don't you dare blame me for that"

"I'm sure they were related"

"That's bullshit! That's a bunch of shit the government made up to raise the price of cigars and rip us off!" Gina always raised her voice when sensing she was losing an argument.

Which never failed to set his son off too.

"It's a fucking scientific study!" He yelled.

"Says the boy who would take money from my jackets to buy tobacco at 15!!"

"Yea so?"

"Don't go all anti-smoking on me, when you smoke just as much!"

"I've quitted, just so you know!"

Gina laughed "Yes right." and put the cigar between her lips, getting a lighter out her pocket.

"Get the fuck out of here" he stood up, as he tried to contain his anger.

"What?"

"Get the fuck out of here!" He repeated, louder. He could handle her questioning him: they were both stubborn as hell and he was used to it. But he wasn't gonna let her get her way and disrespect him this time, especially when it was his baby and her health at stake.

"Oh c'mon Rowan"

"You light that shit up and you won't have to worry about being a grandmother, or a mother for that matter"

She froze and looked defiantly at him with at him with the corner of her eye.

"Was that a threat?"

"Of course it was!"

"Oh c'mon, you wouldn't be able survive on your own for a week, let alone taking care of a baby!"

"Just you watch! I don't need anything from you!" It wasn't true.

"Oh please! Don't be ridiculous. Last week today you lost the last copy of your flat's key, and guess who had to save the day? Oh, I got it, the same woman who helped you buy the damn house in the first place!!!"

"Well that's what you wanted, huh? 19 years up my ass, telling me how bad you wanted me to come of age so I'd be gone!"

"Yes because living with you was a nightmare! Always had to clean after you, and make excuses for you when one of your "conquers" from the night before turned up on my doorstep because you hadn't called them back or whatever bullshit! And now this?" She pointed at Piper

Row stepped in front of the cot protectively, staring menacingly at the woman "This what? Huh?"

"I don't know what the fuck you think you're playing to, but I ain't taking care of her when you get tired of pretending to be Mr.Mom!!!"

"Oh believe me I'd rather leave with a raccoon than with you"

"Well that's a relief. Any raccoon would have a more stable life and responsibility than you!"

"Oh yes any raccoon would have more support than what I'm having!"

"I told you where I stood from the beginning! I told you I'd wash my hands off you if you chose this!"

"Then what the fuck are you doing here now?! If you washed your hands off us, why did you come? To judge me? To repeat all the bullshit you already told me 8 days ago? Or to try and convince me to turn my back on her like you?  Well, bad news for you, Gina, that ain't gonna happen. I love this kid unconditionally, more than anything, above myself and anything else, which is apparently way more than you ever loved me.

>>And you know how I know that? Cause I'll support her in everything. Even if I don't agree with it. And I won't push her, or put pressure on her to finish school or get a job. And if 19 years from now I've become a grandfather, I'll be there for them. And if she wants to drop out school cause she's sick of it, I won't force her. And if instead of a secure stable job she wants to follow a dream I can't even begin to understand, I'll help her in any way I can." He kept stepping closer to the woman as they made unbreakable eye contact, until she was against the wall, and snatched the cigar from her. "SO I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR BULLSHIT OR YOUR GODDAMN OPINIONS! SHE'S MY GODDAMN DAUGHTER, AND I SAY WHAT I WANT HER TO BREATHE!"

The small whine that usually preceded a cry broke the air, and Row instinctively reached over to put one foot on the cot's wheels to rock it back and forth and try to calm her down before she woke, holding his mother's defying gaze at all times.

It didn't work though and a wail escaped her lips, drawing her father's full attention as he turned around to look at her (with an automatic soft features that had nothing to do with the agressive behaviour he had showed no less than a second ago).

"Hey prune princess" he cooed, resting a hand on her stomach. He didn't want to pick her up while fighting with Gina. He didn't want to scare her further than he already had with that shout. "Hello sweet stuff. Everything's fine, go back to sleep, c'mon"

She whined again. Row sighed, leaning towards her untill their foreheads were glued so he was in her short distance field of vision and began to pat her tummy in gentle rhythmic patterns. He forgot Gina's presence, and their argument all together at the sight of her, because she was all that mattered.

She quieted down instantly, safe and warm below the familiar mop of blond hair that she already associated with calm and shelter. He remained in that position until she was asleep again, gradually slowing down the rhythm, untill he stopped.

But still he didn't move. He didn't want to. He didn't want to resume the fight with Gina. Why did every single one of their conversations have to end in an argument?

So he stayed glued to her, taking in all the strength and the power of will he was gonna need to face his mother again.

"I came here to meet her" she spoke, this time in a calm manner.

He sighed, pecking Piper's forehead before stretching up and turning around "And?"

She sighed. She sucked at this. But he -well, they- were her only family left. And inside, she had to admit she was at awe at his decision and determination to follow through.

Who said he couldn't make it work?

"And to apologise" she finally said.

"What for?"

"Oh you know it."

"Yea but she doesn't."

"She won't remember any of this."

"But perhaps one day she'll want to know, and I'll have to tell her Grandma was too proud to admit she was wrong."

Another eye roll "Alright." She walked to the small bassinet, which was still being moved back and forth by Row's foot "I'm sorry I was such a bitch about all this, dearie. I just know your... " She sighed, the next word still tasting weird in her mouth "your dad too well and I guess I'm worrying. Cause that's what family does. I just hope it's in vain this time. Good luck, you little bugger"

Row smiled. Gina's apologies wouldn't mean a thing without a couple insults towards him here and there. That was just her way.

And he guessed she had passed it down to him, just like one day Piper would get retention for shouting a few f words in kindergarten.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Author's Note:

Please please whoever's reading this, reach me out. I'd really like to know if all this hard work is worth it!!! Reblog, Ask, Comment... Even a single emoji would make me smile.😍😍

And as always, Hola to my dearest @definitely-darcy whose marvelous mega-paragraphs help me improve way more than any English class ever has.

-Pookie

[celtfather]

St Patrick's Day Playlist 2019, 3 Hours #400

St Patrick's Day starts early with three hours of Celtic music from the award-winning Irish & Celtic Music Podcast.   http://bestcelticmusic.net/

The Gothard Sisters, Banna De Dha, Beyond the Pale, The Duplets, Lochlainn, Clan Celtica, Irish Whispa, Keith Hinchliffe, Kyle Carey, Ceol Gan Achar, Vicki Swan & Jonny Dyer, Bedlam Bards, The Merry Wives of Windsor, Rose Rock, Ella Roberts, Bangers and Mash, Screaming Orphans, Ceann, Ed Miller, Kennedy's Kitchen, Dark Patrick, Paddy's Pig, We Banjo 3, Talisk, Lothlorien, Madd Paddy, Marc Gunn, Kinfolk, Gaelic Storm, Fergus, Albannach, Calasaig, Derek Byrne and Paddygrass, The Hallions, The Fighting Jamesons, Hexperos, Dervish, SeaStar, The McCabes, Old Blind Dogs, The Kreelers, Conor Caldwell, Runa, Seamus Kennedy, Brobdingnagian Bards, Johnson's Motorcar, The Canny Brothers Band, The Poxy Boggards, Celtic Soul, Ockham's Razor

I hope you enjoyed this week's show. If you did, please share the show with ONE friend.

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast is dedicated to growing our community and helping the incredible artists who so generously share their music. If you find music you love, buy their albums, shirts, and songbooks, follow them on Spotify, see their shows, and drop them an email to let them know you heard them on the Irish and Celtic Music Podcast.

Remember also to Subscribe to the Celtic Music Magazine. Every week, I'll send you a few cool bits of Celtic music news. It's a quick and easy way to plug yourself into more great Celtic culture. Plus, you'll get 34 Celtic MP3s for Free, just for signing up today. Thank you again for being a Celt of Kindness.

VOTE IN THE CELTIC TOP 20

With the new year comes a new votes in the Celtic Top 20. This is our way of finding the best songs and artists each year. Just list the show number, and the name of as many bands in the episode as you like. Your vote helps me create next year's Best Celtic music of 2019 episode.

THIS WEEK IN CELTIC MUSIC

0:05 "The Three Coins" by The Gothard Sisters from Story Girl

3:34 "Comb Your Hair & Curl It / The White Petticoat / The Black Rogue" by Banna De Dha from Band of Two

8:29 "Catalpa Rescue" by Beyond the Pale from Wantin' Something More

12:02 "Garry Porch's" by The Duplets from Leverage

15:07 "Green Window" by Lochlainn from Fisher Street

19:07 "Triantan" by Clan Celtica from Tribal Thunder

22:34 CELTIC FEEDBACK

23:08 "Rising of the Moon" by Irish Whispa from Irish Whispa

25:54 "A Wee Dram or Henry the Horse's Hornpipe" from Keith Hinchliffe from A Wee Dram

27:48 "Cairistiona" by Kyle Carey from North Star

30:40 "Hedigans Fancy Hawson" by Ceol Gan Achar from Ceol Gan Achar

34:59 "Grandpa Joe" by Vicki Swan & Jonny Dyer from Twelve Months & A Day

39:48 PATRONS OF THE PODCAST

41:11 "Whiskey in the Jar" by Bedlam Bards from Furious Fancies

44:22 "Jenny's Story" by The Merry Wives of Windsor from Tales from Windsor's Tavern

46:35 "Down by the Sally Garden" by Rose Rock from Aire Loom

49:22 "North Wind" by Ella Roberts from North Wind

53:18 "Paddy's Day NYC" by Bangers and Mash from Whisper Valley and Other Stories

56:49 "Dr. Gilberts Sel" by Screaming Orphans from Taproom

59:49 CELTIC INVASION VACATIONS

1:00:26 "Almost Irish" by Ceann from Almost Irish

1:05:38 "London Town" by Ed Miller from Follow the Music

1:09:48 "Christy Barry's Jig/The Rolling Waves/The Old Favorite/The West Clare Reel" by Kennedy's Kitchen from The Birds Upon the Tree

1:14:27 "Eamonn An Chnoic" by Dark Patrick from Fainne Gael an Lae

1:17:21 "Henry My Son" by Paddy's Pig from Maple & Wire

1:20:47 "Two Sisters" by We Banjo 3 from String Theory

1:25:29 "Rations" by Talisk from Beyond

1:32:33 CELTIC FEEDBACK

1:33:00 "Paddy's Green Shamrock Shore" by Lothlorien from Single

1:37:27 "The Leprechaun" by Madd Paddy from Arrived

1:39:52 "Henry Martin" by Marc Gunn from Not Every Day Is St Patrick's Day

1:42:19 "Paddy's Stout" by Kinfolk from This Land

1:44:53 "Kiss Me I'm Irish" by Gaelic Storm from Bring Yer Wellies

1:49:37 "P Stands for Paddy" by Fergus from Green St.

1:52:49 CELTIC PODCAST NEWS

1:53:51 "Auld Nick's A Piper" by Albannach from Eye of the Storm

1:56:21 "Lazy Bairn / Instrumental: Doug McPhee's Welcome" by Calasaig from Merchant's City

2:00:03 "My Only" by Derek Byrne and Paddygrass from Half and Half

2:02:52 "Devil's Kiss" by The Hallions from EP

2:06:53 "A Song for Letting Go" by The Fightling Jamesons from Every Day Above Ground

2:11:26 "Giant's Causeway" by Hexperos from Lost in The Great Sea

2:15:45 "Red Haired Mary" by Dervish from Midsummer's Night

2:18:47 CELTIC FEEDBACK

2:19:21 "Galway Bay" by SeaStar from Never Go Back

2:23:21 "An American in Paris" by The McCabes from Songs for Breakfast

2:27:34 "Died and Gone" by Old Blind Dogs from Room With A View

2:33:28 "Johnny Don't Go" by The Kreelers from Saints & Sinners

2:36:42 "An Art Revealed" by Conor Caldwell from To Belfast...

2:39:10 "Big Fellah" by Black 47 from Rise Up

2:44:49 "The Ruthless Wife" by Runa from Current Affairs

2:50:39 CELTIC FEEDBACK

2:51:25 "Wild Rover" by Seamus Kennedy from By Popular Demand

2:56:34 "Old Dun Cow" by Brobdingnagian Bards from Brobdingnagian Fairy Tales

3:00:26 "Redcrow/Tamlins/Gravelwalk" by Johnsons Motorcar from Funky Disco Hardcore

3:05:05 "Spancil Hill" by The Canny Brothers Band from One Drop of Whiskey

3:08:12 "The Drinker's Praise" by The Poxy Boggards from Bawdy Parts

3:10:10 "Tempest in a Teacup" by Celtic Soul from Way

3:20:00 "Lanigan's Ball" by Ockham's Razor from Ten Thousand Miles to Bedlam

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast was produced by Marc Gunn, The Celtfather. To subscribe, go to Apple Podcasts or to our website where you can become a Patron of the Podcast for as little as $1 per episode. Promote Celtic culture through music at http://celticmusicpodcast.com/.

CELTIC PODCAST NEWS

* Helping you celebrate Celtic culture through music. My name is Marc Gunn. I am a Celtic musician and podcaster. This show is dedicated to the indie Celtic musicians. I want to ask you to support these artists. Share the show with your friends. And find more episodes at celticmusicpodcast.com. You can also support this podcast on Patreon.

Get our free app. Go to the iTunes or Amazon store to download the app for free. You'll be able to listen to every episode of the Irish & Celtic Music Podcast, not just the latest 300. That's all that Apple Podcasts will allow. The app will give you access to every show.

You can join my band Kilted Kings at The Hangout in Gulf Shores, Alabama on Sunday, March 17th for St. Patrick's Day. Go to KiltedKings.com for details.

Subscribe to my Pub Songs Podcast. I'm sharing 11 St Patrick's Day facts in a couple weeks. But you can listen right now and hear some great Celtic Heroes & Musical Legends from the past show.

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TRAVEL WITH CELTIC INVASION VACATIONS

Every year, I take a small group of Celtic music fans on the relaxing adventure of a lifetime. We don't see everything. Instead, we stay in one area. We get to know the region through it's culture, history, and legends. You can join us with an auditory and visual adventure through podcasts and videos.

2019 is the Celtic Invasion of Dingle. 2020 is the Origins of Celtic Invasions. You can find out more about these two exciting trips. Join the invasion at http://celticinvasion.com/

THANK YOU PATRONS OF THE PODCAST!

Big corporations want to force feed you Music.  Even though Celtic music is a niche market, There are big labels who want to tell you what music is good. With this podcast, you decide. Not a corporation. Not a billionaire. You!

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast is listener-supported. I make this show free and let you, the listener, support the podcast through your kind patronage on Patreon. You can make a per episode pledge and cap how much you want to spend each month supporting this podcast.

Your generosity funds the creation, promotion and production of the show. Best of all, you get episodes before regular listeners, discounts on merch, and when we hit a milestone, you get extra special episodes.

I want to thank our Celtic Legends: Shawn Cali, Bryan Brake, Annie Lorkowski, Kevin Long, Hank Woodward, Rian P Kegerreis, robert michael kane, Theresa Sullivan, Hunter Melville, Scott Benson, Carol Baril, Lynda MacNeil, Nancie Barnett, Tiffany Knight, Marianne Ludwig. These amazing people pledge at least $25 per month to support the podcast.

You can become a generous Patron of the Podcast at http://patreon.com/celticpodcast

  I WANT YOUR FEEDBACK

What are you doing today while listening to the podcast? You can send a written comment along with a picture of what you're doing while listening. Email a voicemail message to celticpodcast@gmail.com

Bill Hayes emailed: "Hi Mark, I just became a patron and I just wanted to drop you a line and say thank you for alll the great music you play. I wanted you to know how much this podcast means to me, I’ve always wanted to explore my Celtic heritage and I always loved the music of my ancestors. Thanks for sharing all the independent artists that make this music!"

Brian McReynolds emailed: "I have been listening to your podcast since late 2005. I love the variety of music and love listening to the podcasts. For Christmas I got some Bluetooth headphones and have been listening to the podcast while watching college football bowl games. It has been rather fun watching the action on the field with such great music on instead of listening to the commentary."

John Helminski emailed: "Hi Marc, Thanks for your great podcast. Is there one specific show dedicated to Celtic harp music?"

Catherine Koehler emailed a reply to my reply: "How providential that you responded tonight...the very night that i was writing YOU, lol. I was at the best pub in Louisiana this weekend, Enoch's Irish Pub and Grill of Monroe, LA, and made sure the podcast was well represented.  I'm sending along a few pics of the podcast sticker that was ceremoniosly placed by Enoch's wonderful daughter Molly .  In her words " we're placing it down low so everyone can see it!"  Fyi...it is in front of everyone who stands in line for the rest room!! No billboard ever had a better placement!"

  Check out this episode!

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S2 Ep2: Fire, Screaming, More Fire

Last we left Yugi, he’s yet again endangered his life by ditching school in order to duel some magic weirdo in an abandoned warehouse instead of just calling the police. Bakura’s been staring at the outside of this warehouse for at least a few minutes, probably deciding if it’s worth the effort. A rough decision.

Also, I mentioned this last episode, but it became super apparent in this episode with all these slow pans on this kid, but he used to actually look like a child last season but now looks...different? This awkward teen had a real big growth spurt over the past few arcs he was away. Apparently Bakura joined the local barre class or did Keto or maybe just used dark magic? I dunno.

They very clearly were like “we gotta sex up Bakura, he’s just so hard to look at” but then they changed nearly everything BUT the hair? The one irredeemable thing? The most cringey thing to look at on Bakura? they left it? They made him tall and fit but then left this weird mass of shapes on his head?

Anyways, he came out here just to track the puzzle but realized instead, he got a 2 for 1 package deal today.

(read more under the cut)

...he can just un-possess people? Ring beats wizard staff? (or rod, or whatever it is that this guy is holding off camera in the shot below. I think it was called a Millennium rod or something. Makes sense. It’s gold and has an eye on it.)

Keith has been possessed for...who knows how long, and he has a lot to take in. First off, he’s in a different country when last he remembers he was stranded in the ocean. Secondly, he’s in an abandoned warehouse with a minor which is all sorts of awkward to explain to the police. Third off, he’s playing cards? And then fourth off:

So glad I got to post this Bandit Keith meltdown in July. Even when he’s dumped in the ocean, possessed, trapped in a cult, shipped to Japan, and forced to dress like a knock-off heartless, despite alll of that, the flag bandana remained? You can remove all of Bandit Keith from Bandit Keith, but he will always wear his USA pride like someone who’s originally secretly born in Ontario and is desperately trying to hide it from their Texan Mother in Law.

That or he’s totally bald under that bandanna. Like one of those gas station redneck hats.

Here’s a redneck hat for the people in the room that aren’t from the States:

Like I’m 80% certain that Keith’s hair is not his real hair.

Also, damn, this brand is called “Mullet On the Go” and that is the best business name I’ve ever heard.

Yugi just assumes that Bandit Keith is mad about losing...and it says a lot about how much people freak out in this universe in how Yugi can’t tell the difference between when someone loses a game and when someone is possessed and trying to regain control of their mind. The two type of meltdowns really do look strikingly similar.

Even the bird looks like he’s just embarrassed to be here. Especially when this happens.

OH.

This is possible!?

I just assumed all those pieces welded together magically or something. But apparently this is hella possible!

So, possessed Bandit Keith decides to pull “A Mokuba” Which is what I call it, when someone peaces out halfway through the game and just steals stuff so the other person can’t play anymore. Still the ultimate move. Unrivaled in how effective it is. So far one of the only risk-free sure fire ways to beat Yugi Muto (other than threatening to kill yourself, which is option #2)

Does it count as a death if Pharaoh is already dead? Probably not, huh? Anyway, Ryou Bakura snaps out of it, goes back to Ryou, buttons up every single button on his shirt and jacket all the way up to his neck because he’s like way too much of a prude when he’s nice to show off that he’s been running that 5K, and then...decides to do this????

Is this how he’s been working out this whole time??? Has he just been Footloosing it through warehouses in his off hours, how is he so good at this???

Bakura kinda switches back and forth from being nice and being...Bakura. It’s not clear if Ryou is a face Bakura’s wearing just to deceive Yugi, or if Ryou is doing his best to interfere but just can’t interfere with the important stuff like this:

Yugi, reunited with the many pieces of his puzzle, looks at them with this big dumb smile while, at the same time, Bakura hashes out for us, the viewers, a reminder/recap about everything we learned about the history of this puzzle thing from last season.

TBH it’s a fair way to do recap for an entire season. Instead of having it slapped together at the beginning like some boring book report, instead just have it naturally slip in when you actually need to remember all this content. Although, TBH, if you just started watching Season 2 without Season 1, I doubt any of this recap would have helped make any of this make sense. Especially the part where a Pharaoh had Yugi’s hair. That’s just...that’s sort of a stretch, ya?

And Bakura does all of this within 2 feet of Yugi.

I guess we get to go back to Brain Fortress at some point. Have fun with the floor traps, Bakura. Have fun dealing with every corner of Yugi’s mind including the room that is just that really weird huge bowling pin and 50,000 oversized legos.

And then, Bakura just falls off this platform and flat on his ass, which kind of summarizes this guy altogether. Lots of trying so hard to look cool that it ends up going full circle and making him more awkward than just being...chill.

But, once the dust has settled, and the Bakura ancient curse has left the field, Bandit Keith decides he’s not dead and fully wakes up because the jetlag is apparently very real when you’re possessed.

WHAT!?

WHO!?

Just two rando cans of leaky ass gasoline???

Ah, now we’re watching Yugioh.

Yugi, the genius he is, decides he must save the puzzle. But like...why? Pharaoh’s already dead. He’s not going anywhere. But maybe Yugi never attended enough class to learn that most metals don’t melt in a house fire.

I mean this is magic metal so like...probably needs way more than fire to get rid of it. Probably have to toss it straight into space.

Oh man, the big new chain came back to bite him in the ass yet again--and not just this time, but multiple times this episode it keeps coming back to “why the hell did you get such a strong ass chain!?”

This chain is Yugi’s hubris. His Icarus wings.

Busting through the door with their feet, Joey and Tristan come across a whole lot of random things that happen all at the same time and it’s just them saying WTF WTF WTF over and over again until the episode ends.

They assume that Keith was the only one in this building quickly entering the first stage of Hell, but they had a feeling they should just double check, just in case, and their reaction to seeing their best friend here amongst the fire was  “ah damn it, not again.”

Very surprised that Yugi’s hair has held up and has not gone up like a match. Maybe it was hair washing day and so it wasn’t full of grease yet?

Also, it’s nice to think that somewhere, just a few blocks away, Kaiba and Ryou are just having a wonderful day on the soccer field, birds singing, sun shining. A soft breeze in the air.

Meanwhile:

That’s not a joke I made--Yugi really did pass out like this. Which is how this bizarre scene happened:

This show has MOMENTS.

When they realize they should maybe pull the ring out instead of in, they finally got it out.

How did Bandit Keith get it in there in the first place!?

I’m pretty sure I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve seen someone in an anime carry someone from the front.

Yugi wakes up in a hospital, everyone is covered in anime battle damage (you know how when you get 3rd degree burns they just toss a couple bandaids on your face?), and he has some pretty choice jammies.

The episode ends on a weird note of Tea just getting real dark out of nowhere. OK

Bakura didn’t feel like coming to the hospital? Man. I can never tell with that kid.

Well that was a lot of...fire...right out of the gate, next week, on Yugioh:

Will Pharaoh and Bakura have a wacky Odd Couple situation in the puzzle chamber? Does Yugi change in the tow chain for a series of combination locks? Does Bandit Keith get stranded in Japan without any money, and have to race ducks like he’s in Shenmue?

[cannotollie]

Day 0 to 9 How I Survived My TONSILLECTOMY

🧸Welcome back to my tumblr page! 🧸

I’m here to share you some of my latest nightmare, cruelity, disgusting experience about my tonsillectomy surgery !

If you have no idea what is tonsillectomy, shortly, it’s a surgery to remove your tonsils. And what are tonsils? It’s the twin egg that stays in the middle of your throat to prevent your from infection but if you’re unlucky they turn into a self destructing machine to gets your sick every. Single. Month. And YES I HAVE SORE THROAT EACH MONTH 😒 thanks to my overly inflamed tonsils. Moving on... I’ll just leave a link about tonsillectomy

These past week has been the hardest week of my life. Not being able to eat solid food, lost 12 lbs in 5 days, midnight suffering and many more. I have written you my day by day experience, I hope you enjoy reading it 😊

Day 0

I was told to fast at least 6 hours before the surgery this means I wasn’t able to eat or drink anything before the surgery

Day 1

operation at 9am, they changed my clothes even my underwear and injected me with anesthetic medicine ( I heard that it was morphine ), I coughed for several times until I finally passed out

after 2/3 hours I woke up in my nursing room, I was still super unconscious and right after the anesthetic had clearly gone they gave me cold water ( no popsicle they said they ran out of it 😡 )

My nose bled because they put tubes inside me to help me breath

tried to get up and grab some water but I felt extra nauseous, I threw up that day for like 7 times. At first I was so afraid to throw up because I’ll definitely throw up blood, but then it gets so much better after you get them out, they said that it was because of the anesthesia

they injected some pain killers every several hours so I didn’t feel that much pain

didn’t eat anything on day 1 because I was feeling super nauseous

mom bought some ice cream but dairy products produced so much mucus on my throat so I stopped eating dairy. I can only drink cold water and also ice packs was my best friend

Day 2

they gave me some porridge with chicken broth, but I was still not able to eat anything. I probably only ate 2 spoon of porridge that day. Day two I didn’t feel that much pain (but there were definitely pain )probably because they still gave me pain killers intravenously every 4 hours

In the afternoon my ENT doctor came to visit me and told me that I was ready to go home, great!!! But this was where all the pain started 🤣😂

The doctors gave me some antibiotics, and some pain killers, but I have to switch the pain killer with some OTC products that is made for kids called ‘rhelafen’ because the one that the doctor gave me made my stomach hurts like hell

Day two the pain was increasing continuously and I was still not able to eat anything. My mom bought me non dairy popsicle and that helped me so much, also I never stop the ice pack because that really helps to numb the pain

I can talk but the more you talk the more you have to swallow your saliva so I suggest you not to talk too often. The more you have to swallow your saliva the more it hurts

I woke up at 2 am in the morning because of the sharp pain on my throat, I even cried that night, I really can’t help it but I didn’t take any pain meds I just put ice packs on my neck and tried to suck popsicles as much as I could

Day 3

was hell, I woke up with sharp pain on my throat.

Day three was like the very downhill of this recovery process

I started to take pain meds more often (every 4 hours) the pain lasted throughout the day, I also have light fever because of the infection

Swallowing and talking was even harder than day 1 and 2

I didn’t do anything on day three because I feel so hopeless but I was able to eat some scrambled egg because I was super super super hungry

Day three I have thick blood coming out of my nose

Night time was the hardest, It’s even harder to fall asleep, and again I woke up in the middle of the night to put ice packs on my neck because my throat hurts so damn much, it felt like glass coming out of your throat.

Day 4

The pain was crazy when I woke up in the morning I forced myself to eat some porridge and took my pain meds

But it gets so much better during the day, I felt less pain, I can do a lot of stuff I can even made a banana smoothie to brought in some vitamin

I can see the scabs (the white thing that covers the open flesh around the tonsils we’re getting thicker

I felt pain when I wanted to go to sleep but then it was not as much as the midnight pain. I woke up suffering (it’s always worst during this hours I have no idea why)

I took my pain meds again, because I really couldn’t sleep because of the pain

Day 5

day 5 was pretty much the copy of day 4

Burning sensation when I woke up in the morning, sharp pain when I woke up in the middle of the night

And less pain during the day

Woke up in the middle of the night to put ice packs and took my pain meds

My nose were still bleeding and the weirdest thing is that everything I tried to drink something it got to my nose, tasted to weird... 🤮

Day 6

The pain felt exactly the same like day 4 and 5

Everything goes uphill during the day, I even tried to swallow some super soft chicken breast my mom brought

Wake up at 3 in the morning the pain was crazy, so I woke up and took my pain killer but I stopped compressing ice packs because it gets way too cold, pain killers helped me that night

Day 7

I woke up today feeling frustrated because my throat is burning, I think I took too many pain killers that I was getting resistant to it :( I really couldn’t swallow barely anything that morning so I took my pain killer before having my meals

I took a look at my tonsils and i saw some of the scabs were falling off. Maybe that’s why I have sharp pain just by drinking water and also the metal taste caused by the blood

Everything was fine during the day, I ate more today, drank some carrot juice, I stopped taking pain killers in the afternoon because I had too much of it and it’s not good I already had 4 bottles of OTC pain killer

However, I slept better that night, I didn’t even wake up to take my pain meds

Day 8

the morning was less horrible than day 7, but I still have to take my pain meds before I can actually swallow anything

Today I went to see my ENT doctor Yeay! She was surprised because I didn’t bleed and my breath wasn’t stink

I got soo confident after seeing my doctor because she told me that I’m actually doing great compared to her other patients and that the pain I was dealing with was normal

She also told me that after my first weekly check up everything is going uphill, I really hope so

I still take my pain meds before going to bed, but never in the middle of the night anymore since that day

Day 9

she was right! Everything is going uphill. I can even eat some rice and noodle but it still felt pretty rough

I didn’t take any pain meds unless I feel pain swallowing something

I slept well that night with only 1/10 pain

THATS ALLL~

Right now I’m on my 10th day, and everything is going waay waaay waaay better than I expected. Still not able to eat solid or spicy food but I gained some weight and feeling a lot better than before. The doctor told me that the full recovery takes up to 1 whole month.

For anyone that’s asking does my voice change? I guess I can say yes just a little bit, even my boyfriend told me that I sound different, heavier, I guess it’ll fix itself after I’m fully recovered

🧸TONSILLECTOMY RECOVERY TIPS 🧸

1. Stick to your medicine (I took antibiotics, pain meds and dexametashone)

2. BRUSH YOUR TEETH! it helps you to get rid of the bacterias, not just brush your teeth, do daily hygiene as much as you could

3. Less talking and don’t force yourself to eat solid food to prevent bleeding

4. Use ice packs and buy tons of popsicle

5. Drink some juice, don’t starve... eating helps you to heal faster

6. Take a 10 days rest, just stay inside the house and focus on your healing

7. Take pain meds in the morning before having your meals to help you swallow

8. STAY HYDRATED

Thank you for reading this, if you like my writing please leave some notes. If you have anything to ask text me on my social media account 💝ifafathika💝

If you like to play mobile games add my on pubgm : Prynncess

Bye

[coffee-and-kpop]

✨ please read the rules before you place your order ✨

🍰 Ships

You have a few different options for ships (please specify which type of ship you want)

*** ALL MY SHIPS ARE SHIP FOR SHIPS *** because honestly, why not? I get so many ship requests alll the tiiimeee and sometimes it just wears me down but I feel like this is a cute little incentive for me to get ships done faster and it’s fun to ship each other! Also I’m kind of using this as a way to make sure people are reading my rules! So, here’s what ya do:

Go to my about page HERE

Tell me in your ship request who you would ship me with. It can literally be ANY group. Any at all.

BAM that’s it. It’s literally nothing and you’ll have your ship in NO time!!

1) Selca Ships

Max 6 groups

Send 1-3 pictures of your gorgeous face

No heavy snapchat filters

NO DOG FILTERS

2) Written Ships 

Max 3 groups

Please provide a description of yourself. The more detailed your description, the better the ship! Literally go crazy with details!!

3) Collage Ships

Max 4 groups (I’d prefer a different pic for each but if you don’t want to that’s fine!)

Please send 1-4 pictures of your beautiful face.

NO DOG FILTERS/ANY FILTERS THAT HIDE YOUR FACE

4) Favorites Ships

They’re similar to written ships, but you just fill out the “form” below and I’ll ship you from that.

Max 6 groups

** If you’re another shipping blog, and think that you’d like to start doing favorite ships too, that’s so great! BUT I created this form, so if you’re going to use it, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me credit for it! Just a simple shout out for my idea is all I ask :) xx

Form: Favorite season: Favorite type of food: Favorite smell: Favorite coffee drink: Favorite planet: Favorite emoji: Favorite city: Favorite sound: Favorite song and/or book: Favorite color: Favorite body part: Your Hogwarts House: Your GOT House (if you watch it):

5) Name Ships

Max 4 groups

Just send me your name and I’ll ship you with your groups!

I’ll also provide your ship name :)

6) Ultimate Bias Ships

Send in a selca and/or a tiny description of yourself

I’ll pick a bias for you out of ALL the groups I know

7) Zodiac Ship

Send me your astro info! You can send in your sun sign only, or your sun/moon/rising! Honestly, doesn’t matter to me! (Or any other details about your chart!)

Max 6 groups

8) Kink Ships

Send me 1-3 kinks that you have

Send max 3 groups

I’ll ship you with someone in that group based on who I think has those kinks or similar kinks!

  9) Poly Ships

These will be selca ships! send in 1-4 pictures

No heavy snap chat filters that cover your face. they’ll automatically be deleted

Max 4 groups

I’ll ship you based on your selca on who i think you’d look the best with in a poly relationship (I will pick TWO (2) members from the groups)

10) Outfit Ships

Send me pictures (1-4) of outfits that you’re wearing! (they must be on your body in the pictures)

Max 4 groups

I’ll ship you based on who I think will be most attracted to your style!

11) KDrama Ships

Send in 3-5 selcas. No heavy filters that hide your face!

Go to my face page here and ship me with someone in a drama/an actor! It can be a girl or a guy!

You can ask me to ship you with up to FOUR (4) KDrama casts! Just send me the name of the Dramas you’d like to be shipped with, and I’ll look through the cast and decide!

If you’d like it specified (like boys leads, girl leads, only boys/girls, etc..) just let me know!

🍰 “Dating ____ Would Include…”

Bullet point format

Please only request one idol at a time! But can be any idol from any group we write for (check our groups lists on our main rules page)

🍰 Idol x Au (bullet point format)

Bullet point format

You can request a single idol or a whole group x an au from any group i write for!

Example requests include ‘Jungkook x Hogwarts au’ or ‘Pentagon x Football Players au’

🍰 “The Signs As…”

These are new, and I’m still trying to figure out rules for them

But I see them a lot and they’re just too cute

They’re like “The signs as BTS albums.” Or “The signs’ Seventeen zombie apocalypse squad.” Here’s one of my examples

Max ~ 2 groups/things per request :)   

🍰 Confessional Friday

Confessions are fun and everyone loves to confess on anon

Send me sexual confessions, fantasies, wet dreams, day dreams, literally send me anything

If they include your bias(es), great! If not, no big! But I’ll include a little something for you in the answer to you confession :)

You can send in confessions all week, but I’ll only be posting them on Fridays! (It’ll be every other Friday from now on until further notice!)

I write my confessions in a female perspective unless stated otherwise

here’s the tag link if you’d like to go through previous confessions   

🍰 Outfit Requests

Max 1 group per request

If you who don’t know what an outfit request is, just pick a group and a situation (etc. first date, move premier, growing potatoes idc) and I’ll make an outfit for you for each member :)

Here’s an example   

🍰 Scenarios/Drabbles/Imagines

i don’t write malexmale or memberxmember. however i usually keep my reader pretty gender ambiguous

Scenarios take the most time to finish, so PLEASE be patient for these!

I’ll do fluff, angst, or smut

Of those three categories ^ you have to at least tell us one so we have something to go off of

PSA: I LOVE writing au’s so please please request a ton of those and you’ll make my whole day :)

Drabbles: - Here’s the link to my regular drabble game list: xx - Here’s the link to my AU drabble game: xx - Pick at least one number from either list and a person you’d like me to write it with! - These will be max ~600 words

Scenarios: - Can really be anything you’d like - However, we need at least some sort of guidelines! So, give me a person and at least an idea of what kind of scenario you want! - These will be max ~1000 words

Imagines: - These will be max ~300 words - I do two different kinds of imagines (pick one): - Time Together Imagines:            - Give me a time and a bias and I’ll tell you what you’re doing - Song Imagines:            - Give me a bias and a song to base your imagine on

🍰 MTL

These stand for ‘Most to Least likely’

Honestly, anything goes

The smuttier the better, but I’ll do any scenario

Max 4 groups per request :)   

🍰 Sex Analysis

So, I’ve gotten a ton of requests for these and I love them lots!

Just pick ~ MAX 1 ~ person from any kpop group I write for and I’ll tell you what I think sex with them would be like!

Here’s some examples if you’re confused: 1 / 2 / 3

🍰 Aesthetic Associations

I saw these on another blog and they’re amazing

Max 1 group/max 3 artists (for ex. 1 group = BTS. But you can mix and match members, so max 3 artists would be like = Kai, Jungkook, G-Dragon)

I’ll write a pretty length list of aesthetics I associate with each artist/member

Ex: Jungkook - distressed denim, chocolate bars, cartilage piercings, (I’ll do more in the lists but this was just an example)

[gemin1moon]

i was tagged by @veu, because she wanted to see me struggle lol so here you go

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag some blogs you would like to get to know better.

nickname: ami

starsign: virgo

height: 179 cm or sth...

last thing I googled: ten nct old twitter (lol)

song stuck in my head: too good to say goodbye by bruno mars lol yesterday i cried to this song when i drove to school

last movie I watched: i haven’t watched a full movie in ages... i think the last one i watched was split a few weeks ago

last TV show I watched: suits

when did you create your blog: in 2012 omg but i was so embarrassing back then

what kind of stuff do I post? : oh man i don’t even know.. fashion?? but i feel weird saying that lol and kpop obviously and quotes that i can relate with

do you have any other blogs: yep

do you get asks regularly?: no, but if i do, i’m the happiest girl ever omg 💖

why did you choose your URL?: this one because i love the song starry eyes by cigarettes after sex.. and my last url was de-motiviert which means demotivated/ not motivated in german and i chose this one bc at the time i was extremely unmotivated to do anything for school

average hours of sleep: 6

lucky number: 6 and 8

fave characters: okay here you go ali let’s see how long this takes me and how embarrassing this will be lol: ok so right now i’m in love with mike the main character from suits? that’s veery random lol.., alec and isabelle from the mortal instruments series because these books were my life when i was 14 lol, joonhyung (weightlifting fairy) obv., i loved day from the legend series, every single character from the harry potter series (except umbridge and peter pedigrew ew) because that was my whole childhood, patrick (the perks of being a wallflower) i lov ezra miller, and honestly in tv shows i mostly like the evil characters bc they make the plot interesting? so my fav characters from game of thrones are ramsey and littlefinger (and sansa) lol but u know that ali. AND HANSUNG FROM HWARANG obviously (and jackson from got7 dream knight lolll) mmh what else... lol dean from supernatural.. alll of this sounds kinda basic :/ but that’s because at the moment i only read thriller- type books or like classic english and french literature to prepare for the exams so i don’t really pick any fav characters and i don’t really watch movies anymore lately which is very sad .. so if anyone is reading this... pls recommend me sth interesting to watch, help a bored girl out haha

how many blankets do you sleep with? one big blanket and like 3-4 others bc i’m always freezing

dream job: i don’t know :( i’d love to do sth. with languages because i really liked studying english, french (and spanish) in school, and i’d love to learn more languages

following: 478 

i tag everyone who is reading this and wants to do this, especially the lovely @hugedanzy  💘

[chelseyroseblog]

6 SUUUUPER EASY WAYS I STAY FIT ON VACA

Hi Beauties!!

I just got back home from cabo and literally feel like I'm sort of old AF, lol. 

Ugh. I was like one of those old people that didn't feel like they could even relax on vaca until day 3 out of a 4 day trip. I was checking emails after 2 days and felt like I hadn't looked through my inbox for at least a year and was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. 

But you guys know from following me on insta that I have been ON THE MUTHA FUGGIN GOOOOOOOO.

My life got really insane there for a few months while I took on a second job at Orange Theory (quit after two months because shit was so hectic), continued working nights at the lounge I cocktail at, plus going to school and taking on new clients for Health Coaching.

So it was safe to say I NEEDED vaca. 

Here's the thing with vaca's though. If you're busy like me, you realize that you go 1000 miles an hour to a dead STOP. And that includes your BOD. Working out? NAH, thanks though. Margaritas by the pool? Make that 5. Chips and salsa and warm tortillas dipped in quesso for no god damn reason. You betcccha. 

Even though it took me a few days to TOTALLLLLY relax, I still told myself that no matter what, I was going to enjoy this trip, because I knew I needed it. I wanted to enjoy the lounging, the wine by 10:00am, the whole bag of salt and vinegar chips to myself, and the goats cheese pizza, followed by a poptart...I wanted it ALL.

But at the same time, I didn't want to hate my life when I got back home.

I'm one of those people that will legit grow cankles on the airplane if I'm not drowning in hydration so you can imagine how I look when I finish 3/4 a bottle of white wine and snack on salty foods all week....

So without putting in much effort, I was able to enjoy myself but also not turn into a blimp with these 6 tips:

1. EAT SLOW

I've talked about this before. Have you ever noticed that everyone in places like France and Italy and Spain...is thin? It's partially because the have incorporated LEISURE into their meal times. 

They don't sit half their ass on a stool and swallow a 6 inch sandwich and get on with their day. They kick their shoes off, sit back, and RELAX. This allows them to EAT SLOW which helps IMMENSELY with their digestion. It also helps their body signal to them when they are full (this is a huge topic that I go more in depth on with all of my 1 on 1 clients!) 

So take advantage of being on vaca and sit back and just chill the ef out for a second. You can eat shit food but if you eat it SLOW, it will do your digestion more good than if you had scarfed down something healthy. 

2. WALK AROUND

I remember when I went to Thailand with my now boyfriend but we had kind of just started talking so I was imagining myself after 2 weeks of eating whatever and not working out and it was giving me reaaal anxiety. 

BUT sure enough, we got home and I actually weighed LESS than I did when we went. We walked every single day for hours as we looked at the city and explored. I didn't even realize how much we were walking but it definitely paid off. 

Walking is an excellent exercise specifically for FAT BURN. It has the ability to dip into fat reserves and burn stored fat. HEELLOOOO RESULTS, GOODBYYYE ENCHILADA I HAD FOR LUNCH!

3. BRING SNACKS TO THE AIRPORT:

You've heard this a thousand times but it's legit. I feel like airports have been better (in some places) about offering healthier options but they still charge like 800 dollars for some almonds. WE LITERALLY bought some dried apricots at the airport in Cabo when we landed and there was 4 APRICOTS IN THE BAG. FOUR. 

FOUUUUURRRRR. 

I was so annoyed lol. 

So bring your own snacks just to have with you on the plane in case you get hungry so that you're not forced to eat peanuts and pretzels for however many hours. 

4. DRINK A LOT OF WATER

Luckily this was easy for me on this last trip because it was pretty warm out but hydrating is CRUCIAL. Not only will it help your skin looking fresh and your eyes clear but it's going to help A LOT with your digestion. Because we've all been bloated AF on vaca so we know how things go if digestion isn't running properly..

It will also help you avoid hangovers, and curb your appetite. 

5. DO FUN ACTIVITIES OUTSIDE

This is the other nice thing about vaca - you have TIME to actually do shit, lol. Go play volleyball, ride a jetski, go swimming in the ocean, go fishing, or even hit the hotels gym! It's a good way to sweat and check out your surroundings.

6. USE THIS DETOX AND CLEANSE POWDER

This was my savior on this last trip. MRM-USA is a company I loooove for their plant based proteins and superfoods like maca root and spirulina. 

Recently they came out with some new products, one being this cleanse and detox powder. (Get promo code below). It's an alll natural powder that actually tastes BOMB that is a game changer when it comes to bloating and digestion. Sometimes on vaca for some reason my digestion just turns off. 

I have no idea why. I can't help it. Next thing you know it's like 3 days later and I look 7 months pregnant. I mixed this powder with some cold water a few times after lunch and every night before bed and amazingly had a pretty flat stomach for the trip. 

LIFE SAVERRR.

If you purchase it make sure you use my code CHELSEY at check out so that you get 40% off!!

I highly recommend it!

Let me know in the comments if you have any other super easy tips to stay fit on vaca! Coming up next is 'How to QUICKLY get back on track AFTER vaca!'

See you there :)

 XXX

[deafeningpizzaruins]

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