#i have quite a few finished drafts hAHAH

[gomwriting]

Date for hire, Jinyoung | Part 1.

Pairing: Jinyoung x Yumi (OC)

Type: One Shot / Fluff 

Word count: 2227

Synopsis: Eunbyul helps Yumi out by hiring someone from the Date For Hire app to be Yumi’s date to a fashion event. 

“Why would you do that!?” Yumi yelled as she jumped up to reach her friend’s phone.

Running away from her, Eunbyul yelled back, “Because you need a date and there’s no one eligible to take you to this event!!”

“I don’t need a date! I have you!!” Chasing her friend around the dining table, Yumi caught her breath as Eunbyul stopped momentarily, the both of them drained from running around their apartment.

“Look, I would love to go with you to this fancy private fashion event but Jaebum is finally finalising everything in his EP tonight remember?” Tilting her head sideways, Eunbyul continued, “You know I want to support him in every step of the way.”

Sighing, Yumi pulled out a chair and took a seat, glaring up at her friend as she said, “I hate that you know how much of a fangirl I am for your relationship.”

With a smile, her friend circled the table and draped herself over the smaller girl, “I hope you know I appreciate the support you have for us.”

Yumi could only scoff at her friend’s statement, unable to disagree with her truthful words. She pulled out the seat next to her and gave it a pat, indicating for Eunbyul to sit down. Taking it as a peace offering, her friend sat down and pulled out her phone, clicking on the Date For Hire app again.

“As I was saying before you rudely attempted to kill me, this Jinyoung guy seems really neat and fashionable so I think he’ll be perfect as a date to the event,” Yumi didn’t even bother looking over at her phone, already feeling defeated as her friend continued talking, “Now, I know you don’t want to see his face but I’ve already arranged for him to meet you at the carpark. I’ll send you his car plate number and the time he agreed to come so don’t worry about it.”

After glancing to check that Yumi was still paying attention, Eunbyul continued, “It says here that he’s studying to be a teacher so you know, he’s an all rounded educated man. It also says that he’s an introvert but he’s able to be just the right amount of polite extrovertedness for social events. How specific!”

Groaning, Yumi buried her head in her hands, her heart beating loudly at the fear of a stranger having to be her date for her first private event. Sensing her anxiety, Eunbyul rubbed her friend’s back, “I know you don’t want this but the invite did say to bring a date and this is the best solution I could come up for you as a friend without actually introducing a friend of mine that might potentially want to date you who has ‘no time’ for relationships.”

“Okay, you know what? I don’t care. I’ll just think of him as a really really new friend,” After choosing to sweep that concern under her imaginary mat, Yumi gave Eunbyul a small punch as she realised what her friend meant, slightly thankful that it was a stranger rather than anyone she knew. Feeling a little at ease, the girl thought of her next immediate problem, “So now, just help me find something to wear?”

With a relieved smile, Eunbyul answered, “Anything for you kid.”

Jinyoung leaned on his car as he waited, letting out a deep breath as he prepared himself for another full night out. He told himself that this was going to be his last night call in a few days, A straight four nights of being out not doing his body too well. Feeling a little light headed, he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

“Uhm excuse me, are you Jinyoung?” Now, Jinyoung had seen plenty of beautiful woman during his time as a Date For Hire worker but he’s never been struck by a beauty as fast as he did with her. Her short sleeveless black dress fit her nicely in the correct places and it had some mesh material that made her midriff visible, the mesh coincidentally similar to the one on his own outfit. She had on fishnet tights and a pair of combat boots on, fitting the black but unique theme he was told about. Her makeup was simple and she had simple accessories on but what struck him was her smile. It was sweet and bright, conveying her nervousness instantly, something refreshing for him who was used to women who were always confident.

He stood up straight and noticed how he was almost a good 20cm taller than she was, shocking the small girl into taking a step back. Politely smiling, he started his duties, “Hello Yumi, my name is Jinyoung and I’ll be your date for tonight. I promise to treat you well and do as you wish - as long as it is within our guidelines.”

Yumi gave him a smile as he completed his introduction, unsure if she was supposed to clap for him or not but decided against it when he turned around to open the door of the passenger seat for her. He tilted his head towards the inside of the car and she climbed in, giving him a small, “Thank you.”

They both sat silently in the car for a while as Jinyoung started to drive. Quietly, Yumi was thinking about how Jinyoung was such an attractive man. She knew that the men working for the Date For Hire app were supposed to be smart and good looking but only now did she realise that they must have high standards for choosing their workers. Glancing at him as he drove, she admired his side profile in the dim lighting of the night.

“You can just ask me questions freely, don’t worry.” The corners of his mouth lifted as he spoke, his amused tone making Yumi feel warmth in her heart. He was still facing the road as he said this, making her think that he was quite a serious driver, the girl quickly and unexpectedly making assumptions about him.

“I just wanted to know what it takes to be a Date For Hire guy, that’s all.” He could hear the hint of playfulness in her voice and Jinyoung cursed in his head, gripping the wheel a little tighter at the sound of her soft laughing. He was surprised at his own reaction and made a mental note about how he shouldn’t get too attached, though this had never been a problem before. It was just a heart fluttering moment that could’ve happened with any other girl, he thought.

“Well, first we have to go through a grueling audition process at their headquarters where they strip us naked and inspect our beautiful bodies,” Injecting a dramatic tone as he spoke, Yumi realised how deep his voice was and she let out a small laugh, unable to believe that her heart was racing due to such a small thing. She gripped her black clutch bag and bit her lip, trying to contain the extreme warmth in her heart from showing.

“Anyway, could I ask why this event requires us to wear all black?” After realising that she didn’t continue the conversation, Jinyoung tried a different topic. Yumi hummed in thought as she properly pieced an answer together, Jinyoung annoyed how he thought even the sound of her humming was cute.

“Well, the designer wanted to go a step further to show his love for black outfits and clothes so he created the event to be in a white and clean backdrop, the contrast of everyone in black something he’ll be using as a means to show that love.” Thinking about it, Yumi admired how the designer was so passionate in creating the event specifically for him and the people in the business who have shown love for his creations through different mediums, Yumi being from the written medium albeit still relatively new to the fashion industry.

Jinyoung glanced over at Yumi as she went silent for a moment, realising how she had a thoughtful smile on her face and without realising it, he felt himself smile at the sight. Without warning, the girl turned to look at him and they made eye contact, something similar to shock visible in her eyes yet something else he couldn’t quite understand was hidden behind them. He cleared his throat and proceeded to face forward and continue driving, the ride silent but comfortable throughout.

Unexpectedly, there weren’t many people in the area of the event. Yumi had explained to Jinyoung that since it was more of a private event, there was no need for all the glitz and glamour, though there were some paparazzi who came anyway to try and snap some pictures of various celebrities who appeared. As she explained, she felt some kind of emotion overcome her being as she wanted to tell him more, like it was magic, “I write about the fashion events I attend for the magazine I work for.”

“So you’re a big deal huh?” As they were walking towards the venue, Jinyoung silently offered his hand to Yumi, the girl slipping her hand in his outstretched one, the warm enveloping feeling as he wrapped his fingers around hers sending tingles down her spine. He then brought her hand to wrap around his arm, giving her hand a pat with his free hand as they walked together.

Enjoying the feeling of having him so close to her, Yumi couldn’t help but want to tell him more than she should’ve, “Well, not really. The magazine I work for is experimenting with the inclusion of more in-depth fashion related articles and I’m told they see potential in me so that’s why they sent my supervisor and I to this event,” Without even thinking twice she added, “It’s honestly kind of nerve wrecking since my supervisor is into the more gossip side of the the fashion and entertainment scene so I’m afraid she might get me to do things I don’t want to do if she sees me later.”

By this time, they walked to the entrance and the bouncer requested Yumi to show her invitation and as the girl let go of Jinyoung to take out the letter from her bag, he placed his hand on the small of her back and pulled her slightly toward him when a group of people walked past them quickly, unaware of their surroundings while leaving the venue. Yumi turned to look at him for an explanation and she could felt herself grow red as he said in a low voice, “Sorry about that. They nearly hit you.”

Unable to respond, Yumi gave him a quick nod in reply before quickly digging her bag to find her invitation, showing it to bouncer who let them both in, the air conditioning in the venue cooling her down a little.

The music in the venue was slow but upbeat, contributing to the overall minimal vibe of the event. Jinyoung was amazed by the various styles in black around him and he would’ve been frozen in his position if Yumi didn’t gently tug on his sleeve to get him moving.

Surprisingly, Jinyoung continued their conversation, unable to think past how Yumi seemed to be taken advantage off at work, “Why don’t you just tell her you’re uncomfortable with doing that? I’m sure she would understand since she’s probably been in your position before.”

“When I confront someone it usually doesn’t end well, for them that is,” With a sheepish smile she continued, “I get a little overboard with what I say so I’d rather not do something risky like that especially if it’s related to work.

Taking it all in, Jinyoung nodded in understanding, letting out a small laugh as he said, “That’s probably the most confident you’ve sounded in yourself tonight.”

Letting out a laugh of her own, she looked him in the eyes as she said, lightheartedly, “I wish I had that confidence at work honestly.”

As Jinyoung gave her hand a pat of encouragement, Yumi realised that the both of them had naturally returned to their positions, her arm wrapped around his. Despite being embarrassed at the thought of being naturally physically close to him, a slight feeling of sadness struck her as she realised she would probably never have this with anyone else. Jinyoung was indeed hired to be her date but the fact that he helped her feel comfortable around him was too much of a bonus for Yumi to comprehend.

“So, do you see anyone you know yet?” After getting the feeling that Yumi’s mood dropped after her last statement, Jinyoung steered the conversation elsewhere as he looked around at the many people, making eye contact and smiling in greeting as they went about.

With a sigh, the girl said, “I haven’t seen anyone I know yet and I’m still kind of frightened at the sheer scale of this supposed small event so, uhm no, no one I know yet.”

Jinyoung could feel her holding him a little tighter and something rung in him like a bell, something telling him that he had to make her even more comfortable as he possibly could at all costs. It might’ve been his instinct as a date for hire but why did something that was supposed to be so familiar feel so foreign to him?

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey Steph, I am just asking a little bit but I have been writing a rather long Johnlock fic for over a year now. And it's been fun I admit but I just don't feel like I get many people interested compared to other writers. I still want to finish my work but I just am a bit scared of screwing up.

Currently, John and Sherlock in my fic are going through what would be called as a rough patch with both pining majorly for each other but John doesn't want to confess because he thinks Sherlock isn't interested and also due to other circumstances.

My fic features Sherlock screwing up a lot and I just don't know if this is in character enough.

From I have seen, Sherlock just seems like the type to screw up a lot, especially since he kinda seems emotionally constipated to me.

I have gotten some comments asking why I don't just write John forgiving Sherlock (by the way this takes place after season 2 aka Sherlock's fake place and is a canon divergence in some ways, meaning season 3 and 4 won't happen but Sherlock will still come back and John will still feel angry).

I am a bit confused because in my eyes, there are still a lot of problems to work through between the two.

Am I just writing too long or am I just a bad writer when handling Sherlock ?

Because I just think writing Sherlock screwing up and trying to repair his mistakes is an in character idea. No offense but I just think Sherlock can be a dick sometimes and has a chance of ruining his chance with John.

And I did write John after give Sherlock a good lunch after he returned, just letting Sherlock slip back in his life, but he's just more cautious now and tries to keep his temper in control because he doesn't want to physically assault anyone out of nowhere again. And apparently some think that I am writing John like a doormat.

What do you think, Steph?

I know my question is a bit too long but I am just desperate for a second opinion

Hey Nonny! *HUGS*

First off, OOOOOF I feel you on the "taking a year or more to write a fic" front, hahah. I've had a few drabbles drafted for years now and because I keep nitpicking them, they're not getting done, heh heh.

Secondly, Nonny, there is no right or wrong way to write your interpretation of the characters in your own fic! Every single one of us reads all the characters differently, and just because you see a character as X and I see them as Y, doesn't mean you're writing them "wrong", just means you have a different idea for the path you want to take these characters on! It's TOTALLY natural to be concerned about how you're projecting them, but you also have to remember that, say, a super bubbly character isn't going to work in a dark brooding setting unless you're intentionally writing a parody. Same goes for your interpretation of the character: you have a character journey planned, and you have a baseline for his character based on your interpretation of the show, and you go from there!

I know it's easy enough for me to say all that, but really, I think as long as you're "feeling" his character is believable within the universe you created for him, then I don't think there's anything to worry about! AND if you're that concerned, put a call out for a beta to check over your story when its first draft is done. A beta is essentially a second set of eyes who will correct inconsistencies that you've missed, grammar check, and ensure your plot threads are all tying up nicely!

And, here's the thing, "if you write it, they will come". If you're concerned about negative, non-constructive feedback, set the story to be locked to Ao3 and turn off Anonymous comments. Quite frankly, your story sounds super interesting and I'm totally wanting to read it now, hahah.

Don't think too much on it, Lovely, and remember that you're writing the story because it's one YOU want to see. I wrote Sonic fanfiction in my teens over 2 decades ago, and while I do cringe at them now, I do still enjoy the world I created for those characters, and always enjoy going back to that universe. And the same goes for your story. You might cringe about it years from now, but as long as YOU enjoyed it, and can look back fondly upon it, then there's no "right or wrong" way you could have done it <3

That all said, I'm SURE you have written something great, and please, when you do start posting it, let me know, I would be honoured to promote it for you :)

I hope to hear from you again soon, Nonny. Please don't second guess yourself, get a second set of eyes on that story if you're unsure, and take constructive criticism for what it is: people wanting more stories set in your universe from you, and just want to make sure you feel confident in doing so. <3

If any other authors have some suggestions for Nonny, please do!

[mysticscorpia]

hey! for the writer asks: 🌗, 🌎, and 📒! <3

Heya Nerdy! :D

Thanks for the ask!

Question number one: 🌗 fluff or angst?

Oooooo you got me for this one 😂😂

I both love writing them both! Plus, I usually enjoy doing a tad of both in a fic. The easier one is angst, for me! It's easier to write angst because there's so many ways to "twist the knife". Doing substantial fluff takes more out of me to make it both heartwarming, pleasing and not too cliche! It's definitely a balancing act! My natural head space is more angsty, but I do find it pleasing to deliver fluff that makes someone genuinely smile! ^^ I hope that answers it...? 😂

I'm not trying to dodge the question, I swear...😂

Question 2: 🌍fave type of au to write?

Oooooo wowser! Well, as a phan fic writer of 2020 I've only explored a few different general and well-known AUs in my writing!

My default AU however, is modernised! If I had to give it another, more specific one, I'd give it the good ol' coffee shop AU (there's sOOO much 🇵 🇴 🇸 🇸 🇮 🇧 🇮 🇱 🇮 🇹 🇾 TOT) ! I've written that twice, and they are still in my Drafts 😂.

My current fanfic Falling Petals (just a good example, not shameless promotion (●’◡’●)ﾉ) started as a College AU!

So generally a mix! 😂

I am intrigued to write more AUs though in the future! 😉

Question 3: 📒any fics planned?

Hahah! Well, I do have one that's still in my head at the moment. Since Falling Petals is probably going to head to be another few chapters before the finale, (my hope is that I can try and finish it this summer 😬), and word count is going to smack upwards, I might be taking a break before I post another full length fic (this coming year of education is quite important for me so I'll have to focus my efforts!) But, that doesn't mean there won't be some lovely little ficlets popping up! 😉

I might put out my feelers for a few different AUs that are more adventurous 🤭 keep tuned, is all I can say!

Once again, thank you so much for the ask! ☺️ Have a nice day!

[silvysartfulness]

Hi! I love your fic Heaven has a road but no one walks it, always looking forward to reading the new chapters. Last one ended in a huge cliffhanger hahah.

Also I love how you portray the characters and the slow development of their relationship, as well as the art you include in every chapter.

I wanted to ask you some questions if it's okay.

When did you have the idea for this fic and when did you decide to start writing it? How did it develop?

How do you organize your writing process?

Have you drafted how many chapters it will have?

Have you decided how it will end? If so, did you know it from the beginning?

Sorry if they are too many questions, please don't feel obligated to answer them all if you don't want to.

They are more about the writing process and the generation of ideas than the plot itself, but they have been in my head for some time now and I was curious. Some questions I had about the story have already been asked ans answered before.

Thank you so much, and happy writing!!

Hi! I'm so glad you like the happy Heaven Has A Road misadventures! (And yeah, there will be a few cliffhangers in this arc. Sorry in advance. ♥)

And of course! I love it when people ask me questions about the fic and the process and thoughts behind it!

I had the idea not at all long after I finished watching The Untamed for the first time last summer – going by the date stamp of the first few sketches I made for it, I had already started envisioning the outlines of this story some two weeks or so after I finished watching the series. The first loose premise was very simple – what if they all lived? What if everything that happened happened, but they all had to deal with it, with each other, after the fact? What would those dynamics look like? And it sort of spiralled from there. My brain does this, all the time. Telling myself stories, playing out endless fictional scenarios, then picking some favourites and building upon them, making even more ones... until there's a whole story there. There are conscious choices made, sure, but it's also kind of the background radiation of how my brain operates. It's always in storytelling mode.

I've also been casually watching some short nature and food documentaries on Youtube, as well as reading a lot of meta posts and doing my own research, which has in turn helped fine tune and even generate entirely new ideas.

Even once I started having a general outline of the concept, it was quite some time before I decided to actually write it down, though – I hadn't written fanfic for some 10 years and wasn't sure I could. But I met some super-supportive and encouraging friends in the fandom who talked me into giving it a try, and then it just sort of snowballed.

My ”writing process” is just chaos. I have extreme executive dysfunction, so I only have very limited control over when I'll be able to actually do anything. Sometimes i write 8000 words in a week. Sometimes I go a month without being able to write at all. I'm extremely inconsistent! Again, I'm very grateful for my friends (and readers!!) who always encourage me to actually sit down and open my document, trying to get a good flow going. ♥

As for drafting the number of chapters - nope. I have no idea how many chapters it'll be – I know what will happen, but what goes into any given chapter is something I pretty much only decide once I start a new one. I check my very simple bullet point outline and try to think about what would be a logical collection/sequence of scenes for a chapter, or what point would make for a good break, and only then do I work on that chapter as a whole based on that decision. I also try to decide on a chapter title reasonably early in the writing process, so I can double back into its hidden meanings while I write it.

I do know how it will end! I had a vague idea from the beginning, but a few months ago I metaphorically finally sat down, shook all the loose thoughts I had on the subject out on a table and did some serious rearrangng, thinking, planning and plotting, hammering out the details. It's much better now, neater, and makes more sense than that first hazy concept!

There are some transports that are still a bit fuzzy, but for the most part, I do have the rest properly planned out!

And yes, as ever promised – there will be a happy ending. For everyone. ♥

[quinncupine]

okay, so this is most definitely a dumb question (but I am new to Tumblr and kind of horrible with technology, so please forgive that), but how do you create a masterlist page? and how do you post your fics without them being under the "posts" page? Also, I am rather invested in your Taken series hahah. I love the way you write Izuku!!

No question is a dumb question! And thank you, I'm so happy you like my taken series! I really relate to Izuku so I'm glad you like how he's written, it makes ma heart do little pirouettes☺ Now let's talk about Masterlists! I'm gonna put it under here cause it got a bit long! Heh

The first step is to create a new post ( which is that little pencil icon in the top righthand corner of the page on desktop and at the bottom righthand side on mobile) then label whatever you want your masterlist called.

Next, depending how you want to organize your categories, you can write down the titles of whatever your putting in your list. For example I separated mine into a few categories such as Izuku X Reader, Izuku Centric, and a few others. It all depends on how you want to organize your posts. You can jazz it up with pictures or dividers, whatever you want like I did below! When everything is finished the linked works will be underlined like this:

Once you have the layout you want, its time to add the links! If you don't know how to add links, its pretty simple!

On desktop (I find desktop a bit quicker than mobile), open a new tab and go to the post you want to use.(I'm using my navi post as an example here!) Hover the mouse over the righthand corner until it folds down. Right click on the grey part and a pop up menu will appear. There will be an option to copy link. Click it.

If you're on a post that doesn't have the three dots in the corner thats okay too! You can just simply copy the web address, its the same thing!

Then go back to your masterlist and highlight the title of the post you copied. Another small pop up menu will appear. Click the little infinity sign.

A box will appear and you can paste the copied link into it! Hit done and voila! A new link is made. Repeat this for all the other titles

When its done the link will be underlined and you have a few options to edit, remove, or open it! I always open it to make sure its working correctly.

On mobile (I have an android so I'm not sure how different it would be for iPhone or other types), you'll want to tap the three little dots in the top right hand corner for whatever post you want to use. From there press the copy link option.

Go back to your master list (Its saved in my drafts at this point) and highlight the title you want to link. A small pop up menu will appear. Click the infinity symbol and paste the link. Hit done and presto, link made! Repeat this for all the others.

Okay so that was a lot but I hoped it helped! That's how I made my masterlist anyway! If you want to add the finished Masterlist to your description on your blog, tumblr has a great description here: Add Links to your Tumblr Description (you might have to scroll down just a bit!)

Now as for posting fics without them being under the "posts" page. I'm not quite sure what you mean but if you don't want them being seen, you can always post privately so only you can see them. If you want to give me more detail I might be able to help further!

Thanks for the ask and I hope I was able to help a bit!

[lambourngb]

Behind the Scenes- Last Year’s Wishes

@zuluoscarecho - ““Oh man you have been busy! I’m glad the writing Has been going well for you. I would love to hear about your process when you get a chance if you’re keen. Like whether you plotted it out, whether the whole fic came to you (more or less) or how hard you had to work to fill in the gaps to get you where you wanted to go, whether you’re a “push through” kinda writer and just sit down and do it or whether you scribble stuff down all day and then type it up at the end or whatever. Many questions I have”

Oh boy, these are great questions- my approach to writing has changed from how I started “Last Years Wishes” and how I’m finishing it. First of all, I was out of practice. The last long story I tackled and finished on my own was in 2002-2003 on ff.net  (for a moment I thought it was 2012-2013 but I just looked it up and still can’t believe it was that long ago, hahah) Then I wrote a follow up with a co-writer that ended …poorly due to stuff outside of writing with that person. I hit a very bad depressive cycle and didn’t write again until 2019 and RNM.

The idea came after I watched some true crime story in August- I think it was “Murder Comes to Town” - which is all small town population less than 10,000 gets hit with a salacious murder. I immediately thought about Michael, and first I thought he could be blamed for Max’s disappearance, but then I remembered how visible Noah was to the town, and I was off plotting. Carina said on twitter- oh lord what a loaded sentence that is - that we don’t know when Alex was at the Airstream or what he had to say- which fine, but that made me think about juggling the time a bit, letting the police show up first, then Alex go to the wild pony, THEN MAX, and yeah boom! Conflict! Alex knows Michael wants to be with someone else, but he just gave him an alibi. They are stuck! Fuck Alex’s whole life, amirite? That part of the idea came all at once.

I wrote the first draft of the scene for Tumblr - August 8th - started it before work when I like to write- kept writing once I got to work (bad employee!) posted it and as the comments and likes rolled in, I kept writing. First day was like 6,000 words.

Then I didn’t really touch it for 2 weeks. I kept adding stuff here and there, using WIP Wednesday to motivate me to share a bit. In one month though, the story was at 10,000 words by September 12. Mainly because I just wrote as it came to me, and let my brain just fuck off on Tumblr or reading other fics. I wasn’t really serious about it. Six weeks later it was 15,000 words by the end of October. This time I thought the reason I didn’t have more progress on it was because I didn’t have the practice of finishing a story- so I attempted at the very beginning of October to do Whumptober. I managed to write 2 stories - truth (to the people we love) and If You Regret (What You Know).

So two stories finished, I went back to Last Year’s Wishes and used everyone working on NaNo for November to buckled down. I wrote out a rough outline of future scenes. I made a point to write, if I could, every day something. I do try and write in a linear fashion, but if I couldn’t move forward in the story, I would go back to previous stuff to add in descriptions, put in some introspection- sometimes a whole scene needed to be inserted, then I could push forward again.

The story grew from 15,000 words on Nov 1 to 28,000 words by Dec 1. Nearly double in size. And the more I put my ass in the chair to write, the easier it became to focus. It will never be easy to focus for me- I really like scrolling on my phone, chatting with other people, etc. But I had to build a muscle in my brain from the ground up with no real belief that I would succeed because I thought depression and anti-depressants had broken my brain. But Malex kept me interested.

By the time December rolled around, I made a goal of finishing it by New Years, but then my outline kept growing. I kept thinking about the underlying plot, I kept thinking about how big the communication divide was- I couldn’t just say “they talked, they fucked HEA!”. As December came to a close, I realized I had written 32,000 words in the month of December but I was only half done with the story. So while I was disappointed I hadn’t hit my goal of being done, I was very pleased at the progress. The story was around 60,000 words by the end of the year.

January- I increased my goal of 1,000 words a day, to 2,000 words a day.  I really believed I could finish it in one sustained push. I wrote nearly 40,000 words in the month of January- bringing it to just under 99,000 words but…it still wasn’t done. My assistant quit. I got sick. Progress stuttered. But I felt like the end was in site- so I contacted  betas, two of which came through- tasyfa and Maura - and kept writing. I thought it was just 20,000 words to go, and since I just wrote 40,000 in one month, I could easily write 20,000 2-1/2 weeks, right????

February- beta comments were great, I started releasing it publically in chapters, and then the feedback started rolling in- and instead of motivating me forward, I started obsessing over the next thing people would read- I wanted it to be perfect. I started inserting new scenes, fleshing out other areas- driving my betas crazy I think- because I kept poking at it. I wrote those 20,000 words easily as the story was getting posted, but they were all in the existing frame of the plot. New stuff … that didn’t really start happening until March.

Another thing that I realized was my outline needed to be supportive but flexible. Originally (which remind me once it’s complete) but I had some different ideas for how the last few chapters were going to go, and I had to let those narratives go because it no longer felt natural to me with the narrative I had established.

Even now I have 5 scenes outlined for chapter 22, but as I started writing it this morning, I am leaning toward blending it into 4 or 3 scenes. Oh- my scene should have a standalone point to accomplish, and if that point isn’t clear or can be accomplished in another way, then it gets moved or blended. I don’t really jot things down on paper- but I have two documents- the writing doc, and the story doc. Writing doc has the outline, I always write with my outline heading just below my cursor so I can keep looking down at my goals and construct the scene from there. The story doc is where I cut and paste it into the whole thing. Sometimes as I scroll to find where I am in the doc, I will add something or edit something, before putting in the next bit at the end.

This is what chapter 18-19-20 looked like on Feb 9th in my outline : [1.. After their pathetic attempts to decorate Alex‘s leg was starting to bother him. Michael took one look at him and advised that he remove the prosthetic. Alex protested mildly about being seen that way. Michael reassured him that Isabell not only knew but didn’t care.

1a. - Isobel and Kyle arrive- she found him in the grocery store attempting to leave with the last baked ham - Mom working a double, Rosa was going to midnight mass with Arturo and Liz- 1b. Isabell and Michael have a quiet talk that Alex overhears while he changes and removes his leg for the night-. He discusses talking to Maria and reframing some of what Alex had said. 1c- walks past them to the kitchen with Kyle]

[2.  Isobel and Kyle show up  to the cabin for Christmas Eve- Isobel sleeps over. Michael offers the spare, Kyle takes the couch, Alex objects to Michael sleeping in the airstream. ]

[ 3. Alex wakes up to an alert on the day after  Christmas Day that gets an alert about someone at the cave. Finds Michael staring at Jesse and not Max.. Why did you think you were like him- that night that Noah died. What did that mean. It means he was ruthless about his agenda and so am I. I’ll do anything to protect you. Michael is silent and closed off, but follows him back to the cabin - knowledge from the ship piece ]

ONE MONTH LATER on March 10 the notes looked like this based on how the story looked: [2.  Isobel and Kyle stay in the face of the weather- Isobel sleeps over. Michael offers the spare, Kyle takes the Airstream ,Michael volunteers himself to sleep with Alex - Michael quietly explains he isn’t going to have a conversation with anyone afterward, Christmas gift exchange- Michael gives him the handprint- remnant from the console and his mother, sharing the intensity - they have sex  ]

[ 3. Alex wakes up to intense sorrow by Michael via the handprint n the day after  Christmas Day that gets an alert about someone at the cave. Finds Michael staring at Jesse and not Max.. Why did you think you were like him- that night that Noah died. What did that mean. They discuss Alex’s family and the future- do you think you would ever forgive them? I’ve been mad at Max, but if he came back today I would take him back, What about Flint and what he did ? Do you think he’s sorry? knowledge from the ship piece- soul mates, forever tied together ]

Err— I’m long winded, so did I answer your questions? Feel free to ask more!!

[bunnykaye]

Hi there! It’s your FSSS. I know I haven’t been in touch in awhile, so I hope you’re doing well! I have a draft of your gift finished and will tweak it in the upcoming weeks so that it will hopefully really great once I publish it. I really hope you will like it. I’ve enjoyed writing it. Do you think Fitz in S7 will have his own support team? Or will he be all alone (*ugly crying*). I really hope he has Hunter by his side, tbh. That’s my dream. And maybe Piper.

First of all, I know I’ve read this ask a few days ago but I just realized I haven’t answered this yet! *whacks self* So sorry about that! 😅😅😅 ALSO, It’s okay Secret Santa, coz I have been busy in the past week as well -- adjusting and all that hahah

Now with regards to your gift.......

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH YOU KNOW I AM FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS I’M SO HAPPY OH MY GOSHHHHHHHH

As for the question: MAAAAANNNNNN.... I sure hope so! Not to be on the dramatic side but it seems like Fitz usually gets separated from the group throughout the seasons (or at least it started during the FW arc) that I sometimes get quite sad about it. And now he is technically separated from the group too, but there are quite a few key players that were not on the Zephyr by the time they traveled to the past. So that’s Piper, maybe Flint (pretty please with cherry on top!) and Hunter OF FREAKING COURSE. Give us some more of that sweet, sweet bromance 😂 Since AoS loves giving us major twists, I’m crossing my fingers that they’ll fool us to thinking Fitz is all alone.... BUT HE ISN’T. I’ll cry if that happens. 😭😭😭

[boba-beom]

i’m doing fine, i’m just writing here and there, trying to get back into writing since i’ve been 😴 for a few weeks now

im also in a smut phase rn bcs i’m reading smut on top of smut omg, i usually don’t even read this much 😭

And also! Beomgyu’s hair!!!! I usually like darker colored hair on him, but the brown makes him look so soft and precious :,) It rlly makes me think of him being a bear, and i just wanna hug him 😔 but rumor is going around that it’s actually a wig 😳 I can’t tell, myself, but what if he had rlly short hair underneath the wig? I love with idols have either super long hair or super short hair and i think it would fit beomgyu.

But in all honesty, I didn’t have a bias in txt until lovesong era, and in that era, Beomgyu became my bias. It was all bcs of his HAIR and bcs EMO BEOMGYU UGH i LOVE emo beomgyu lololol

but how are you? I hope you’re healthy and happy, and eating well and all that!!! <3

- sunshine elf

I can’t believe I never came round to answering this jgnekjgn I thought I lost it forever but it was in my drafts— it’s been a busy week 😭

I'm here thinking so hard if any of my moots loved emo beomgyu that much but I guess we all did HAHAH but I feel you entirely! I haven’t read a lot of smut until very recently and ngl I’m just so fascinated by the way these writers write?! idk the writing styles differs and it’s so interesting because it kind of inspires me to write better, if that makes sense?

I mean, dark hair on any of the members will always remain superior imo, but something about dark hair on beomgyu has my heart racing and the butterflies fluttering 🥺 and he just looks more of a tapioca pearl hehe I don’t believe it’s a wig 🤭 I think it’s his actual hair but it’s just sprayed over with brown hair spray, just like how hueningkai’s hair was sprayed the same brown to hide his platinum hair soooo 👀 it’s just a guess ofc, but I’ve slightly convinced myself that beomgyu may have like rose gold kinda hair? when he was on freehug radio with changmin, his hair looked like it had some sort of pink undertone to it— unless this is just me trying so hard to convince myself lmao BUT I agree with you, beomgyu could literally pull of any length hair, like excuse me???? his pending mullet hair has me W E A K ugh

that sounds about right LMAOO picking biases are so difficult, they really said no roles other than leader soobin HAHAH I will forever cherish and miss emo beomgyu, what a time to be alive dngjerj I can sense all your love for emo beomgyu omg but pls, taehyun and his faded out blonde hair with his brown roots, idk what it is but I was OBSESSED with that hair colour on him 🤧 it just looks so natural on him AAA

but I am doing alright, angel<3 I woke up feeling quite groggy the whole day and suddenly didn’t feel well so I took my medication and took a nice nap, other than that uni’s just occupying my time and I feel awful because I haven’t posted anything since christmas and it’s almost valentine’s day 😖 and I SHOULD finish my valentine’s series from last year fjkngkej I just have tyunning to do :p but we’ll see how busy I’ll be

I also hope you’re all good and healthy also! don’t forget to stay hydrated and wrap up if you’re in a cold area! ‘til next time sunshine elf!!

[tinypurpleparrot]

Fanfiction Writer Asks

Fuck it, I’ll do it myself, because I know I can’t count on you nerds to actually ask anything. :p

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

I really don’t know. I’ve been writing creatively since I was like 6. I don’t really remember writing for fandom until Pokémon, but I’ve been in fandom since the original Sailor Moon and Ronin Warriors/Samurai Troopers.

 2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

I guess the Yogscast. Except I only really like a few of them, and it sure as shit isn’t the main channel people. I haven’t found a new obsession because I can’t sit still for tv anymore, and I’m a patient gamer/reader. So once I find something I like, it’s probably old and everyone’s already moved on.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

OCs. I am boring, shy (and thus no fun), and quite good at ruining the moment.

 4) What is your favourite genre to write for?

Action/Adventure. Fight scenes. Getting out of dire as fuck situations. Underdogs.

 5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

I have so many… XP I guess a story I wrote in called Royal Infamy. It was literally hundreds of pages long, spanned at least 4 different fandoms, and could’ve been a standalone series if I just changed the names. Unfortunately it’s been lost to the ooooolllllddddd (and I mean 2001) internet. I like to think that maybe it’s on some ancient server, saved by those sorts of people who try to archive the entire internet and have literal exabytes of hoarded data. It was also how I met my SO of 13 years.

 6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

A Prince of Persia fic. I don’t even like Prince of Persia.

7) When is your preferred time to write?

I never get as much inspiration as when it’s 1am and I’m supposed to be going to bed like a normal person. But never at a normal hour in the evening unless I’m inspired at work and have to rush home before I forget.

 8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

It used to be from all the anime I used to watch, now it’s cobbled together from fantasy books and video games.

 9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

Like erotic fic? Eeeh. I’m so terrible at it that I literally only have one, I’m writing it right now, I’m not finished, and I don’t particularly like it because I keep subconsciously writing away from the part where they hold hands because I’m conflicted and discomforted by the whole thing, to be honest. Like, even when I was adolescent and supposed to be thirsty as teenagers are, I just wasn’t and couldn’t. My ex tried to get me to write something for him, and I still couldn’t do it. *shrug* It doesn’t help that I’ve never been big on shipping. …Those characters sure are standing next to each other, yep.

 10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?

Hahah… endings. That’s good. (Also see previous question.)

 11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Not that I can recall, unless you count ‘stop doing that thing’, ‘okay’ *does it more*

 12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

Rythian. Fuckin’ edgelord. Just everything about him and his OC is *kisses fingers*.

 13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

Unfortunately Rythian is usually entangled with other people from the Yogscast. :p

 14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx?

Current project doesn’t even have a title, that’s how non-committed I am to it (she says even though it’s fast approaching a novelette.)

 15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

If it’s an OC of a particular universe, there’s probably a naming convention, and I go by many names. If it’s just generic freestanding story, I keysmash and pick through it until it rolls off the tongue.

 16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?

Classic ‘rivals who hide their sexual tension behind their distaste for one another.’

 17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

“I haven’t seen your face since when you first came back from The End. And the … incident with trying to rid you of your curse.” He chuckled. “I’ve actually seen a lot more than your scars.”

 18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Like 75% of my work is abandonware. I have ADHD, I get bored, and I usually take so long, the fandom “dies” before I can finish. And the moment is gone.

 19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

Royal Infamy. And make it mine this time.

 20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Probably Royal Infamy.

 21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Ilona Andrews. Her style is exactly what I aim for. …Okay maybe not the monster fucking, but the rest of it. Exciting, tense, a little bit scary.

 22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

The Prince of Persia fic. The first draft of the erofic. The weeb crack.

 23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Silence. My brain goes 100% towards analyzing music and then I can’t focus on anything else.

 24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

Eeeeeeehhhhhh *whines* I don’t wanna…

 25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Nope. I don’t write that kind of pain.

 26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?

The part where these two people who’ve tried to murder each other could even reasonably be in each other’s presence, let alone fuck. Also eternal hatred for evasive genital description brought on by a broken, puritan society.

 27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I should start making outlines. My current three projects keep going off the rails.

 28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

To go in with no expectations of people ever responding let alone giving feedback to anything. You’re just tossing shit in a hole and for every ton, one flower might grow.

 29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

I did a thing about how Lalnable Hector created Echo, and *crickets*.

 30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Twenty years later, I still get emails about a fic I wrote about Birdy the Mighty (C-tier anime about a dead boy soul-sharing an intergalactic cop’s body.)

 31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)

-

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Other than putting slivers of wish fulfillment in, no.

 33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Someone found a fic I wrote in two weeks in an archive over 20 years old and sent me kudos. Like, that shit should’ve been buried. But they found it.

 34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

Mary Sue. And you’re goddamn right she was. And I’ll fucking do it again.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Nope, not for fear or anything, I just don’t think to share before it’s done because I’ll probably abandon it anyway.

 36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

You’ll be unsatisfied with the ending.

 37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?

You fucking made me open one of my old Gundam Wing crack fics to check. Now I don’t know because I’m still cringing.

 38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

*shrug* Like… I haven’t done a collab in *checks calendar* 17 years. I don’t have any live fandoms. I’m not big on trying to meld with other people’s styles.

 39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?

Third.

 40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

No.

 41) What’s your favourite minor character you’ve written?

Can’t think of one. I usually don’t have minor/background characters?

 42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.

…Okay, now I seriously can’t tell if xxx means erotic or a particular example. 😐 Anyway, I for some reason lost the ability to link songs to fics/personalities. I just don’t think of any particular person when I hear a song and vice-versa.

 43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

That would imply enough people cared.

 44) What is the last line you wrote?

Despite the queen pushing him, he couldn’t move even if he wanted to (which he didn’t.)

 45) What spurs you on during the writing process?

If I don’t fucking do this it’s going to bother the fuck out of me for weeks, even if I don’t finish. Just get it on paper so it goes away.

 46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?

More action and intrigue.

 47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?

 -

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?

The antagonist finds the protagonist’s berserk button and realizes that maybe they should not have pushed it.

 49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

I can’t remember fics I wrote. And shit, that was at least 23 years ago. (She says even though she can perfectly remember her first fantasy novel 30 years ago. (The Gammage Cup))

 50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Angst. I think. I’ve gotten good feedback from my more serious stuff.

[hajiiwa]

tagged by @aizawashoutah, @shitabukenjirou, and @foxyena !! thank u guys so much~

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

hajime = haji, iwaizumi = iwa, haji + iwa = hajiiwa~ i love my mans but not many people understand my username 

(the rest will go under the cut!)

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

huh, well

FMK technically has the most hits and kudos (something i am a little disgruntled about, seeing as it was not a fic i worked very hard on), only fools has the most comments, kaminari is a schemer has the most bookmarks, and of fountains and flowers has the most subscriptions so idk what to tell you. i wish ofaf had more recognition bcos i’ve worked hard on it rip

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s kuroo!! and i just chose it bc i Love him and it was an icon i made that i sorta liked so

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

yes and i love them all!! seeing names that consistently pop up in my kudos/comments section really warms my heart <33 i’ve made good friends that way tbh

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

uhh there are many that i like to go back and read, mainly by my fav authors that i’m subscribed to

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

bookmarked: 53 subscribed: honestly, i... don’t really subscribe to works? i’m subscribed to 8 authors tho

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

oooh, probably... medieval aus or domestic magic aus? and slice of life

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Subscriptions: 80 (rip, i didn’t know if u meant user subs or work subs so i combined and it’s still a tiny number) Bookmarked: 203

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

umm... i don’t think so? 

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

finishing current projects before taking on new ones, avoiding burnout, the usual

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

well i’ll go based on haikyuu since those works take up the majority-- iwaoi is set firmly in first place based on number of works followed by bokuroo, both of which are fairly popular so i’d say that i lean more toward the bigger ships but i also have works for kurooiwa, iwaaka, tengoshi, etc

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

22! that number fluctuates a ton because i’m very impulsive and if a fic doesn’t receive the recognition i feel it deserves/i no longer like it/etc i take it down

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

that i have yet to publish? too many.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i normally keep them in my head, unless i think they’ll turn into something bigger and then i’ll jot them down!

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

not yeeet~ @frenchibi have plans to tho. i have tried to co-author in the past but it mever worked out

16. How did you discover AO3?

when i graduated from using wattpad,, fun fact, there is so much smut on there that i legitimately thought ao3 was just used to write porn. i was both horrified and confused

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

lol

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

no...? this question assumes that i would be Popular (honestly do fanfic writers even have “fandom names” for their readers?? im)

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

not really, no. i stated writing fanfics when i was really young on my own, unprompted, and i’ve met other authors through that medium that have helped me?

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

interact with other writers! i know it seems daunting, but leave comments, go to spaces where you will find other writers, participate in events-- there are few feelings more satisfying than seeing familiar names pop up, either in your notifications or in a group you’re in. most of the time, they’re all very kind and you won’t regret letting them into your life!

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i plot out almost always, though this sort of bites me in the ass. it bores me when i’m writing to already “know” what’s going to happen and that’s why i lose steam. it’s weird

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

sort of. i write a lot of angst and i’ve gotten quite a few “fuck you author” comments-- most of the time they’re paired with “for making me feel these feelings” or “for writing something so sad” or some shit but i don’t appreciate that bc, like, fuck you too? i’m sorry that you felt the need to cuss me out?? i tag pretty liberally and if you felt that you couldn’t handle the topic i was writing about then you shouldn’t have clicked

unless it’s, like-- a friend or regular going “fffuCK YOU AHHH” which HAS happened and makes me snicker lmao

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

huh. i’m trying to become more proficient in the Big Three (smut, angst, and fluff) and thus far i’ve got one of three down p good. but specific scenes i have trouble writing would have to be scenes in which i have zero experience and pretty much have to improvise-- it helps me grow as a writer, ig, but it’s just frustrating

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

the rest of the writers’ inktober prompts

a fic wars piece with @frenchibi

a post breakup iwaoi

of fountains and flowers final chapter

a handful of voltron fics, 4 of them sheith

alien!iwaizumi

maaaany half-abandoned drafts

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

YES AND IT IS TERRIBLE SOMEONE STOP ME

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

nah. motivation is fickle and i don’t want to make writing a chore. writer’s inktober was hard enough (it’s december and i am still not done :,)

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

considering i started on wattpad, yes lmao. i’d like to think that i have since i’ve been on ao3 but hahjajhjkh

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i reeeeally liked writing a bit of magic is key and three’s a crowd because they were both humorous domestic magic aus~ but i’ve liked most things i’ve written tbh. also, obviously, of fountains and flowers.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

that i’ve posted? i honestly don’t know. maybe you can be so stupid sometimes because i was just starting to write iwaoi and i now hate the way i portrayed them, not to mention that this dumb little fic has more kudos than my recent stuff and i just *clenches fist* don’t think it deserves that

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

not sure. maybe i’ll have ofaf finished by then hahah,, but really i don’t know. writing is a tool but fanfic writing is just a hobby

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

i’m pretty good at writing emotionally charged situations. also dialogue, i find banter or long back-and-forth conversations fairly easy

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

transitions, justification of characters’ actions. the hardest thing writing-related would be fighting through envy and feelings of inadequacy but i experience the former plenty anyway rip

33. Why do you write?

i write because i enjoy it-- i love creating my own worlds, interacting with other writers, living vicariously through my characters

well, that was fun! i’ll tag @frenchibi, @astersandstuffs, @minyardxva, @josai

[artificialqueens]

Heal me, baby. (Biadore) Ch 2- Miri

Things are going a little slow, keep in mind I’m still getting the hang of writing fanfiction hahah. So I hope you like this chapter. It took a while for me to write since I’m dealing w/ a lot of stuff but here it is. The beginning might be a little slow but it’s going somewhere!!

Tell me if you like it and want to read it! Then I’ll continue writing. I have a few drafts that I’m putting together to continue on it :’) All of you are amazing, thanks for reading my fanfic.

Also hahah, I believe there are probably some grammar that’s off or spelling or something somewhere in the text, but I tried correcting it as much as one can.  Xx- Miri.

Adore woke up the next day in her room. She was laying on her back and looking up at the white ceiling. She sighed. Another day, another challenge. She knew her first lesson was with Bianca, which made her excited. She felt the fluttering in her stomach just by thinking about it.

Her door flew open. Court, Willam and Alaska stormed inside laughing and talking to each other. “Let’s all get ready for school together!”, Alaska said and put her big pink bag with make-up on Adore’s make-up table. Adore rubbed her tired eyes and sat on the side of her bed and nodded. “Let’s”, she mumbled before walking towards her make-up table.

The four of them fixed themselves and helped each other get ready for school. When they were done, they walked together to the main building of the school. They all went to their lockers that were placed right next to each other to get their books. Adore had always felt a little out of place when she hung out with the three of them, since they were kind of a clique and even had their own singing group and called themselves “The triple A girls”. They all looked at their schedule. “We have history with Miss Del Rio”, Willam stated. Adore nodded and took her books. When they closed their lockers, Alaska looked at the school clock. “We still have 15 minutes before class starts… I need a smoke”, she muttered. Alaska, Court and Willam decided to go out and smoke before class but Adore wasn’t feeling it and decided to be the first one to enter class.

She started walking towards class and stopped right before the open door when she saw Bianca in front of the whiteboard writing something. She stared at her well-rounded body as the pencil was dancing across the whiteboard. Today she was wearing a tight dark red gown and her hair was up in the most perfect style she’d ever seen. Adore had seen a lot of drag styles but never someone quite like Bianca, she was almost mesmerized by her looks. “Take a picture, Delano. It lasts longer”, Bianca said and turned her head with a smile. Adore felt warmth. “I… uh… I’m”, Adore stuttered. Bianca laughed.

“It’s hard not to be kind of shocked when a real-life clown is standing in front of you”, Bianca joked and turned to Adore. Adore felt the fluttering in her stomach again and she smiled at the floor. “Come inside, you dork”, Bianca said and started sorting her papers. Adore snapped out of the sort of trans she felt she was in and walked inside. She walked towards one of the tables in the front of the classroom. For the first time in years she’d decided to sit as close to the teacher as she could. Bianca smiled and pulled out the list of names.

“So, you decide to sit next to Tatianna?”, Bianca asked and looked up at Adore. Adore nodded and smiled back at her. “Yeah, sure!”. Bianca looked at the clock that that was 5 minutes before the lesson was going to start.

“I’m gonna say this before the entire class arrives. I’ve noticed you eating alone every day. I don’t know if this is something you’re actively choosing or if you just feel out of place but well, if you want someone to sit with at lunch today then hit a bitch up. I’m almost always sitting at the red table”, she said and smiled a sincere smile. The tables in their cafeteria were all different colors that together made a rainbow. Adore nodded. “I’ll find you”.

Tatianna was the first to arrive to the classroom. She halted in front of her usual table. “Adore?”, she asked and tilted her head. Adore nodded. “My uhm… eyesight has gotten worse so I need to sit closer to the whiteboard”, she made up an excuse. Tatianna accepted it and sat down next to her.  Right after that the entire class started to enter the room. Alaska, Willam and Court shot her a glance before walking towards the back of the room. She felt her phone vibrating in her pocket and picked it up.

From: Court Tue, 08.59

Trixie and Katya are hosting a party tonight, you coming with? Willam and Lasky are going too! They’re throwing it in that big house across the street, apparently they rented the entire house for tonight. We’ll be there at 9 pm! Xx

Adore looked up from her phone and thought for a minute. She knew that the smartest idea for her probably was to stay at home since exposing her to alcohol would lead to her being too drunk too soon. She knew that she low key wanted to drink her feelings away. Yet isolating herself from her friends and classmates wasn’t the right answer either. She decided to go.

From: Adore Tue, 9.00

Party! I’m coming xx

“Class listen, today we’re talking about the fact that Hitler was a major cunt”, Bianca started the lesson.

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The lesson was over soon enough. An hour just flew by and Bianca had dismissed the class at 11.00, everyone gathered their things and Adore did the same but way slower just so she could look at Bianca a little longer. When everyone had exited the room, Adore took her things and started to walk out before Bianca stopped her.

“Hold up, queen. Let’s walk together to lunch, I just need to drop off my books at my office but it’s on the way there. So’s your locker too, right?”

Adore nodded. Together they walked out from the classroom and to the hall. The halls were empty, everyone had gone to lunch. They walked in silence for a little while, Adore tried to focus on her breathing while walking. She was nervous to be walking with Bianca, she didn’t want to mess anything up.

They got to her locker first. She opened it and put her books in. “Are those stickers of the pizza emoji on your locker?”, Bianca laughed. Adore smiled. “Yes! I love pizza!!”, she responded and closed it. Bianca’s laugh was low, raspy and sounded unique, nothing like Adore had heard before. She loved it, it was like music to her ears. They walked towards Bianca’s office that was just across the hall from Adore’s locker. It was minimalistic with almost all furniture being dark wood, the desk was so clean it was shining. She started imagining Bianca bending her over the desk. Her naked flesh against the wooden desk, the cold wooden desk.

Bianca put her papers in one of her drawers and looked up at Adore. “Shall we go?”, she asked and made Adore snap out of her thoughts. Adore nodded and felt herself blushing.

They walked towards the cafeteria, the line was long and Bianca sighed. “Drag queens that are actually on time here, that’s fucking news”. Adore giggled and nodded. The line got smaller and they got closer to the food cart. Bianca gasped. “Look, Delano. They got pizza!”. Adore fake gasped and laughed.

“Do you think I eat nothing else?”, Adore joked.  

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They sat down at their red table with the trays with pizza on them. “I can’t believe you convinced me to put pineapple on my pizza. It looks bad!”, Bianca stated and made a face. Adore had a Swedish friend that had introduced her to bananas on pizza as well but she didn’t want to scare Bianca away completely. Adore smiled. “You’ll realize that you’ve been missing out your entire life once you taste it!”.

Bianca took a slice in her hand and smelled it before taking her first bite, she chewed a little without saying a word. Adore looked at her, waiting for a reaction. Bianca nodded while eating. “It’s good, I admit it”.

Adore was pleased with introducing Bianca to one of her favorite pizza toppings. “So what’s up tonight? It’s Friday, so I’m guessing there will be some sort of party somewhere or maybe a gig”, Bianca asked. Adore started eating a slice and finished chewing before answering.

“Katya and Trixie are throwing a party tonight, so I guess I’ll be going there. It’ll be fun”. Bianca nodded. “How are you getting home later?”, she asked. Adore felt happy talking to her, it was obvious that she was looking out for her, which was what she probably did for all her students but it struck Adore as unusually nice of a teacher.

“It’s just across the street, I guess I’ll be walking home afterwards”, Adore responded. Bianca nodded and started looking for something in her clutch. She dug up her phone and unlocked it. “Put your number in my phone and I’ll text you so that you have my number in case anything happens and you need help. I live just outside of campus so I’m available”, she said and gave it to Adore. Their hands touched and Adore flinched and drew her hand back quickly.

She felt ashamed and sick to her stomach. She didn’t want to feel so repulsed by someone touching her but she couldn’t help herself. She tried to shake it off and act as if nothing happened. “Are you okay, kid?”, Bianca asked with a concerned voice. Adore nodded with a smile. “Yeah, you’re just cold. I guess I reacted to that”, she made up an excuse and started typing her phone number while she noticed Bianca touching her hands to see if she’s really that cold. Adore handed over the phone back, this time making sure their hands didn’t touch. Bianca took her phone back and typed a fast message and put her phone back down. Adore looked at hers.

Pizza slut

She laughed. “You’re acting as if I eat nothing else just because you saw those stickers”. She saved Bianca’s number on her phone and put her phone in her pocket.

They talked about the different genres of drag the entire lunch and enjoyed their food. The time went by quickly and before they parted right outside Bianca’s office, Bianca stopped herself before she took a step towards Adore. “Is it okay if I give you a hug?”, she asked. Adore was shocked. She cared enough to ask? She was used to people doing pretty much whatever they felt like. Adore nodded but then stopped and said; “Just do it slowly”, she said. Bianca smiled and nodded. Slowly she put her arms around Adore waist and pulled her closer. Adore was slowly processing what was happening and was managing not feel repulsed by it. She focused on her breathing and put her arms around Bianca and rested her head on B’s shoulder. She inhaled and could smell Bianca’s perfume. It smelled amazing and Adore almost felt a high from hugging Bianca and smelling her amazing scent.

After holding each other for a while, Bianca let go. “Good job”, she smiled and opened her office to go inside. “Thank you”, Adore whispered behind her. She felt the biggest joy over being able to for the first time actually hug someone for that long.

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When Adore had gotten back to her dorm after all her classes, she started to pick out a dress for the party. She took out one of her self-made dresses that was mermaid inspired and put it on her make-up chair, then she laid down on her bed to take a nap before going out.

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Adore was awakened by Lasky shouting above her head. “GIRL, WE. ARE. LATE. Everyone at the party has started drinking and it’s 10pm. You better get your party on, we’re leaving in 20”, Adore quickly got up and looked at her clock. Alaska was right. She hurried to get her clothes off and started to put on her dress.

It took her a little over 30 minutes to get ready and Lasky was sitting impatiently on her bed making loud noises every now and then as a hint to Adore to hurry a little. When she was done, she took one last glance at herself in the mirror. It wasn’t perfect, but then again, her drag wasn’t meant to be perfection. She loved it. “Oh, I love your dress!”, Alaska said before they stepped outside of her room. Adore smiled.

“I’m a fucking mermaid”.

Together they walked quickly over to the part that was just exactly over the street from where they lived. It took them about 5 minutes to get there and just like Alaska said, pretty much everyone was drunk. The first thing she saw when she walked inside the house was Trixie and Katya making out in the kitchen. She was standing in the hall and had a perfect view of the first half of the kitchen where they were standing kissing. Alaska took Adore’s hand and smiled. “Let’s have fun”. She led her to the kitchen. They passed Trixie and Katya and made their way to the fridge. “I bought a bottle of tequila for you, since I kind of figured you’d probably forgot to buy it yourself”, Alaska said and handed her a bottle. Adore took the bottle held it close to her. “I appreciate you so fucking much, Lasky. You know how I am”, she said and opened the bottle. “Now where can we find some shot glasses?”, Adore asked and started looking through the cabinets.

“There are none, I’ve looked everywhere!”, She heard Miss Fame saying from the other room. She took a regular glass and poured some tequila in to it. “Guess I’ll just drink it from a regular glass”, she muttered and downed her first “shot”.

One thing led to another and in 30 minutes she’d downed half of her bottle and was grinding on Cortney on the dance floor. People were jumping and dancing to sissy that walk. Adore took another sip on her tequila and started feeling light headed. Her lips were going numb. Am I dying?

She stopped dancing and walked towards the kitchen to drink water. Please don’t be alcohol poisoning…She quickly drank her water and looked out the window for a moment. Out of nowhere she felt two hands wrap around her body and someone kissing her neck. She froze to ice and felt everything drop. Her entire body felt numb and she felt afraid. She tried looking at who was behind her. It looked like Miss Fame. She broke free from Miss Fame and panicked. She felt her chest closing on her and she heard her own breathing going faster and her knees getting weak. The world was spinning and flashbacks from her ex abusing her came to mind. She wanted to scream. She took her jacket on one of the chair in the kitchen and ran outside. Katya was smoking outside when she passed her. “Are you okay, Adore?”, she heard Katya ask behind her. She couldn’t focus, she needed to run. She ran along the street until she got to the big bridge they had near school. She stood before the water. She started crying and panicked. Her phone started vibrating and she looked at the display. It was Bianca. She answered and put the phone to her ear. “Hey, kid. You texted me a while ago saying you needed help. Are you okay”, Bianca asked. She was able to hold it together until she was asked if she was okay.

She shook her head. “No”, she pushed herself to speak without screaming. “What’s wrong?”, Bianca replied.

“Everything, Bianca. I’m broken. I’ll never be okay, it’s gone too far. I’ll never be able to fully love someone and no one will ever be able to put up with me for too long. I’m so sick and tired of putting on a fake smile every day and pretending to be okay when I’m in pieces on the inside figuring out how to take my next breath. I can’t deal with this anymore, living just hurts too damn much. I can’t do this”, she cried on the phone. She took a step closer to the water.

It was so clear and blue and the reflection of the moon was on it. All she could think about was drowning. “Queen, you’re not dying on me. You’re one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met and I barely now you and I usually don’t like people. That’s saying much. You will heal in time, you need to give yourself time and you need to accept the fact that things will take time. Nothing happens over a night, you need to work on yourself. Now I don’t know you that well, but I’ll gladly help you with whatever you’re working on. Tell me, where are you now?”, Bianca tried to calm her down.

Adore took a deep breath and let her tears fall as she whispered in to the phone; “I’m in front of the river. Please, save me from myself”, she cried and turned her phone off.

[birdblackdesign]

Eliesha Keenan Signing Out

So here I am, at a pivotal point in my career – to stay or not to stay. To spend more time working at a passion that excites me or to be more present in my toddlers’ life and watch him flourish and grow!

I am sure that there are quite a few mums out there that have come to this exact same and difficult choice, in which neither I feel is wrong or right.

Our generation has more pressure than ever to juggle both the working Mum and stay at home Mum and you know what it’s bloody hard! Hats off to you mummas out there that can have it all. I have had to do a lot of soul searching in my decision and have made the difficult choice to leave the Birdblack team (or at least for now). With another little bub due in September it is time to simplify and really enjoy these fleeting moments.

A short year ago I started my job at Birdblack. Sarah and I had bumped into each other via social media (she actually purchased a custom artwork from me) and the rest was history! I was thrilled to start my new job, however a tad scared as my little boy Caspian was 7 months old and we were going through a very difficult time with him. We had just discovered he had sleep apnea.

Caspian wired up for his sleep study

He had to wear a CPAP machine with mask every time he slept. Now if you know of someone with sleep apnea or have seen this machine, you will understand our tricky situation. I was waking up every 15minutes to half an hour through the night, then learning a new job in the day. I worked with Birdblack two days a week whilst doing kitchen design with our family business another two days a week or more.

I remember I would go to work and cry when I got home, I was just so tired!

Caspian (snork)and I with his CPAP mask

As challenging as it started out, things got easier and sleep improved and I can walk away with a wealth of knowledge of interior design that I didn’t have before.

I have learnt how to design other spaces in the home, apart from kitchens, laundry and joinery! Master bedrooms are so much fun!

I have strengthened my CAD skills drastically!!! Horayyyy ...this is a drafting program that a lot of interior designers and architects use. This was the hardest aspect of my new job as I hadn’t touched it since I had finished my studies (7 years ago).

I have also learnt a lot about bathroom design and the fixtures/accessories available on the market. Toilets that massage the bum ! I mean come on, we all need one of those! Latest technology in massaging shower heads, mixing water with air- thanks Hansgrohe!

Hansgrohe “Raindance” shower head

I also learnt a lot about the Hamptons style (Sarah’s personal favourite) and was able to design a lot of kitchens, fireplaces and bedrooms to suit this style of home.

Sarah has also left me feeling inspired. She has such a passion and drive for interior design and it’s been infectious to say the least.

when I first started with Birdblack Design at a KBDI event

Lastly, It has taught me to be present, wherever I am and that God doesn’t give you a passion and say - “here you go, now have kids and struggle” hahah

Everything has a time and place and I am so grateful for all that Birdblack has taught me. Birdblack has such a drive and future in the Illawarra and I feel so chuffed to have been a part of Sarah’s vision for her growing business.

So for now, Ciao and God bless team Birdblack!

Xx

Eliesha Keenan