#i have such a rant as to why the haikyuu fandom died off

[taones]

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[jazzytriestowrite]

Can I request a hq one shot for Tsukishima? Maybe where the reader confesses to him that she likes him, but then downplay it and walk off, because she thought it'd be pointless to tell him/he wouldn't like her the same, but in reality he does like her :> tyy 💕🧡💞

Fandom; Haikyuu!!

Pairing; Tsukishima Kei X Female Reader

Synopsis; You were tired of running in circles, tired of not knowing if your best friend had liked you back or not, or if you were a fool with a one sided crush. Deciding to get it over with once and for all, you pull Tsukishima to the side and confess your silly crush to him hoping that in the end you gain a boyfriend and not a broken heart.

Warning; Fluff, well as fluffy as a Tsukishima fic can be

Word count; 2155

A/N; I have been feeling low for some time, and actually saw this request and my heart leaped. I hope you enjoy this maddi!! Hope i did this salty hoe some justice :))

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You had to do this.

You were tired of sneaking glances at him in class, face heating up every time you were caught or the teacher called you out about it. You were tired of sitting with him at lunch and pretending like your heart didn’t hurt every time he called you his ‘friend.’ It was tiresome, and if you had to deal with being unintentionally friendzoned again, you would rip out all of your hair and move to some farmtown to live out the rest of your days hiding from society.

His constant teasing was starting to leave a huge impact on you, and instead of getting snarky like you usually got with him, you ended up going silent whenever he playfully insulted you. Now taking his playful insults more personally than ever.

You had to do this. The fear of not knowing if he liked you back or if the side glances and extra touchie gestures were nothing but him getting more comfortable with you. Being kept in the dark had only made it more frustrating. You needed to confess and see what happened after that. No matter what happened, he was still your best friend first right?

Wrong.

While you were trying to give yourself that lovely pep talk, you had finally noticed that your palms were sweating. Rubbing them together created a grimmy feeling that made your stomach turn and rumble. The sudden confidence you had earlier had vanished, and now your hands gripped the end of your skirt, shaking lightly as they fiddled with the flimsy material.

You had now stopped in your strut towards the blonde haired male, watching as he messed with his headphones, probably going to put them on and start heading home as usual. Were you going to stand here in fear, never to confess and watch as the boy you’ve liked for so long slip out of your grasp because you were too nervous and too scared to admit you had some silly crush on him?

Taking a step forward, your words died in your throat as you felt a sudden chill. Panic clawed at your throat, making you momentarily freeze. The sudden thought of being rejected flooded your mind, and now just the thought of that made it hard to breathe.

He was your best friend, yes, but who's to say he wouldn’t suddenly start ignoring you because you had made it weird between the two of them? Would you be the one to ruin such a good friendship the two of you had just because you ended up catching feelings.

While you kept tearing yourself down, making it seem like there wasn’t any hope, a small flicker of hopefulness filled your heart. The ‘what if’ he did like you backs filled your mind, drowning out the raging negativeness that seemed to overflow your brain.

What was the point in all these ‘what if’s?’ Why not just figure it out and then go from there, in the end, admitting your feelings to someone wasn’t a crime, and sure as hell shouldn’t end a good friendship the two of you had built if it was a genuine one.

“Tsukishima!’’ You call out, breath catching in your throat as you watched him whip his head in your direction, a scowl already sitting on his face. Walking towards him, you gripped your bag tightly in your hands, making confident steps towards the tall male.

Looking down upon you, Tsukishima didn’t look too impressed to see you standing in front of him. Or maybe he did? You could never tell because he either had a scowl on his face or a teasing grin, and both you didn’t like in the slightest.

“What is it y/n, if you couldn’t tell, I was trying to leave this hellhole and go home for some peace and quiet” He says bluntly, golden eyes staring you down as the height difference between you two became more apparent than ever. His tone was the usual annoying one, the one where it made it feel like you were bothering him.

Gripping your bag tighter, you open your mouth to say something but instead end up closing it with nothing coming out. The panic was still there yes, but standing in front of him right had made it more real now that it was really happening. Shifting back and forth on your feet, you looked everywhere but his eyes now, knowing you wouldn’t be able to tell him when his unwavering gaze was on you.

That was your first mistake, showing him such a panicky side of you would only make him more interested in what you had to say, and that was a known fact. Now instead of looking at you with disinterest, he now had a shit eating grin on his face. His whole demeanor changed in a second, taking your moment of weakness lightly and in his favor. He was now interested. It was easy to see.

His hand now rested on his hip and he leaned in closer to you, wanting you to spit out whatever you had to say to him. He had even stopped messing with his headphones. His attention was now all on you, and you didn’t like it.

“Come on cupcake, by now I could have been halfway home”

His words were playful and provoking. You knew it was too late to go back, he already knew something was up, and giving him some lame excuse or telling him nevermind would surely make him angry.

Taking a deep breath, you looked up and met his golden eyes once more, trying not to get sucked into the beauty of them. He was always handsome when he grinned at you, since it was so different from the scowl he gave everyone else.

“Any Day now, I believe I’ve aged a few years standing here like a fool”

“I LIKE YOU OKAY”

You blurt out, his previous statement making you just spit it out. It had felt good to finally say it, but it also made you cringe when you realized you yelled. What made it worse was when you noticed that a few students had stopped their chatter and walking, stopping to look at you who had created a scene.

Rubbing the back of your neck, you continue your previous statement. ‘’I like you, way more than friends. You are very annoying and half the time punching you seems like the greatest idea in the world. Despite your often teasing, I’ve come to like your annoying, weird, dino loving ass and keeping it to myself has been tough. I just want to let you know how I feel, in the hopes that you like-”

You had paused in your mini rant when your eyes met his again, searching his face for any changes. You had been able to catch the flicker of shock that had crossed his features, but it had changed to his usual shit eating grin again. That grin had made you nervous once more, making your heart close up and your words die in your throat.

‘’You know what” You take a step back, letting your eyes fall to the ground in shame. “April fools, bet I got you huh” Your voice didn’t match your words, and instead of your usual upbeat voice, it was replaced with a sad tone, a tone on the verge of tears. “I’m a good prankster I know”

The silence that you were met with only fueled your now aching heart. ‘’I gotta go’’ You say, turning around and walking away before you not only embarrassed yourself more, like crying in front of a guy who would definitely make fun of you for it.

You felt a hand grab your wrist, and before you could shake it off, you were turned around abruptly, head almost falling off your neck at the sudden force. Stumbling towards the male who had pulled you back, your teary eyes met Tsukishima’s once more. A silent ‘what’ being communicated through your expression.

You watched as he leaned in, so close you felt your face burn painfully now that you could feel his soft breath on you. One of his hands came up and was placed on your cheek, softly caressing the soft flesh. His eyes were filled with an emotion you had never seen before on him, and that took your breath away.

The sunlight had perfectly hit his features, making his golden blonde hair look gorgeous in this lighting. The light breeze helped in his favor, blowing it in the wind to add an extra effect to this moment. His large hand caressing your cheek had made you flustered, along with the look he was giving you. How he had to slightly bend to reach your height added some magic to it.

“You idiot, I had thought I was being perfectly clear with the hints I was dropping. Don’t be scared y/n, I’ve liked you for a while too, and while I may be very annoying, you probably didn’t notice that I ONLY act that way with you.’’ He paused, gazing into your eyes for a few more seconds. “y/n, you can stop being so nervous now” One hand now rested at your hip, holding you in place.

Was this some sort of dream? Her crush just admitted he liked her back and was also acting all cute instead of douche. The new unknown side he was showing you had made your heart race, and for a while you couldn’t even think of something to say. Instead your mind was filled with happiness. He wasn’t that much of a jerk after all.

The way he stared at you like you were the only girl here made you feel special. The way he was publicly grabbing you without being ashamed of what someone else seeing had also made your heart flutter. Maybe Tsukishima could be that hot guy who showed his true feelings to someone he liked, someone who deserved his attention.

“Ow” Your hands fly up to your forehead, your body stepping back and ripping yourself from his embrace. While you had thought the two of you were having a moment, he had decided that your lovey dovey time was over and flicked your forehead with a bit of too much force.

Laughing, his shit eating grin was back. “Idiot, acting all nervous and stuff like I was going to reject someone like you’’ It had sounded like an insult, but listening in closer you heard the compliment amidst it.

Opening and closing your mouth, you watched as he rolled his eyes at you. “Let's not stand here any longer, we should get walking. And maybe, just maybe we can stop and get some snacks” He says, using your shock to slip his big hand into your tiny one. He didn’t give you a chance to notice, instead tugging you so you would start walking.

And god, if you had pointed it out he would have surely blushed at being caught trying to be smooth.

In the end, you hadn’t cared enough to point it out. Instead, you silently agreed to his previous statement. The toll of being stressed out and worried had finally worn off, happiness filling your insides. You had claimed yourself a salty french fry, YOUR salty french fry. Nothing felt better than this.

Tsukishima walked, hand in hand with you in silence. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, it was a mutual silence that felt good. The two of them needing the time to comprehend everything that happened in such a small amount of time.

Since your eyes were averted, he finally dropped his shit eating grin, a real genuine smile replacing it instead. It might sound weird, but he wasn’t just some cocky bastard who had no feelings. He was a human being who had crushes as well.

And as he watched your big grin as your eyes stared off ahead had made him feel butterflies in his stomach. He had liked you for some time, but he himself wasn’t brave enough to say something and opted to drop crazy hints instead. While that didn’t work, he still got himself a girlfriend in the end.

Watching you be happy about being with someone like him amazed him. How you lightly swayed their intertwined hands was making him feel some kind of way, a feeling he wasn’t used to. You were the prettiest girl in the world to him, and just the thought of someone like you liking him back made him feel good.

He had liked you so much, and now that he was able to act on his feelings, he would be sure to give you hell.

He was, after all, Tsukishima Kei, the saltiest human to exist.

“Also, It’s march, not April you fool.”

[tigersplaygrnd1]

About YoI, “resellers,” and market depletion

Mostly ranting.

Recently, I went to the Bungou Stray Dogs Ani-kuji lottery event. For those who don’t know, Ani-kuji is Animate’s own anime goods lottery, in which you buy tickets and then get prizes. Much like Ichiban Kuji, there are no losing prizes, but the higher level prizes are not only rare but also exclusive. “Kuji” is translated to “lottery,” but I would liken the event more to a raffle, which has limited prizes and doesn’t necessarily get better with the more people who draw. Bungou Stray Dogs does not do any other lotteries, such as Ichiban Kuji; so often enough, the Ani-kuji is the only event to play this kind of psuedo-gambling for the series.

It was on a weekday, which means that I would have to take off time from my “day job” in order to go to it. I woke up at 4:30 am to see the sunrise and headed to the office to get my morning’s work done, as I expected that I would probably be standing in line all morning long.

To my pleasant surprise, when I arrived there were only about 5 people in line with three people already at the register doing their lottery pulls. At the previous Ani-kuji last November, I had arrived around an hour late but still managed to draw even though there was a line well out the door. I thought I was in good shape. I was wrong.

For the most part, there is no limit on the number you can draw. This system worked for the previous BSD Ani-kuji, as fans tended to be measured in their gambling and just do a few draws and then get back in line to draw again hoping the odds would move in their favor with more people drawing. This system works out for most, because as people are satisfied with different levels of prizes (i.e. I wanted the second-to-lowest prize), it helps people try for the item they want with the lowest amount of tickets necessary. This year, however, this did not happen.

There was a reseller, who was already there when I had arrived. I am not even sure how many tickets they had pulled, but it was well over 100. It is even possible he drew most of one box of prizes by himself. We were all standing in line. A few more fans showed up, like me, pleasantly surprised by the short line, but as we watched the reseller open each ticket one-by-one and then subsequently receive all their prizes one-by-one (necessary to confirm the winner is getting the correct prizes), we all became antsy and just generally not happy, even though we all walked into the store generally excited.

Now, the more cutthroat amongst us might be saying, “Well, there is no limit. That should be expected.” 

While that is true, that is definitely not in a JP BSD fandom context. Sure, some people will show up to the event ready to drop down $1000 on lottery tickets, but in general, they won’t. Who really wants to spend $1000 in one go anyway? They’ll space it out in order to play their odds and not hold up the line. Sure, there is a level of competition for prizes, but we are generally nice and polite to each other.

While standing in line, my phone battery died. I watched the same anime trailer over and over again on the staircase’s LCD TV while the three other people at the register waiting to draw started to get into a panic seeing all the prized go to this one person, who showed next to zero interest in the prizes, just stuffing them into bags with zero emotion.

The next two people drew 80 tickets and 60 tickets, respectively. Regardless, the number of tickets had dwindled, the atmosphere grew more competitive, as a woman, I assumed had already drawn, came back and asked if she could draw more, because she didn’t know there was no limit. She had to get back in line. Another fan asked to wait until the new box started because she didn’t want to draw if certain prizes were missing. It was, indeed, a cluster-fuck.

To add insult to injury, the Animate staff this time had zero competency to deal with the issue at hand. As you would expect at a retail establishment, the employees deferred to the manager, who I would say, is not a very good manager. She sat by and watched as the reseller spent over 45 minutes at the register and tried to explain to the fan who bought 60 tickets that she could not buy more, because they will start a new box, and she can’t buy from two different boxes at once. (Luckily it seems the 60-ticket fan hit her prizes, so she did not draw again after that. She was asking for 100.)

After the manager finally woke up and realized that they were running out of tickets, she went to the line and asked us one-by-one how many we wanted to draw. We, of course, are not sure. We wanted to know what was left before we decided how many to draw. If the prize we want is not there, we will not draw or we will draw less. It’s a pretty simple logic, but the manager seemed to not understand this. Even when questioned by the fan in front of me about why she was asking and if she was asking our maximum, etc., the manager brushed her off, explaining her own logic that she wants EVERYONE in line to have a chance to draw.

Most of us say we want 20-30 draws. This should have been expected. We don’t know what prizes are left. We don’t know how many tickets are left. Even if I’m only going to draw 10, I said 20. The manager goes to the calculator and then announces, “THERE IS NOW A 10-TICKET LIMIT, BECAUSE IT IS ONLY FAIR FOR ALL OF THE PEOPLE LEFT TO DRAW. PLEASE COOPERATE.”

This, of course, didn’t improve the atmosphere at all, and the workers were also showing signs of stress and were rushing, because the manager was rushing them. The did not update the remaining stock in time.

By the time I get up there, there are less than the limit of 10 tickets in the current box, and I am also restrained by the “no fishing in two ponds” rule. They show me the “remaining items.” There are still a slightly rare prize that my friend wanted so I agree to draw out the rest of the box. This should, by any logic, mean that I am guaranteed those prizes. I did not win those prizes. Instead I won all the lowest prize. (If I had known it was all the lowest prize, I would not have drawn.)

I got back in line with the few remaining fans, who all seemed to be dying for Chuuya, to finally be able to really draw 10 tickets. My first draw didn’t even feel like a draw. When I finally get to the counter for the second time, the manager is like, “Can I help you open the tickets?” More rushing, but I agree because I am not an asshole, but she is opening the tickets literally as I draw them. She opens an A prize, the highest prize, but she does not tell me. I don’t even know what my prizes are until she is running back with all my items, mostly can badges, but OH MY GOD IS THAT A BLANKET. It is literally in a bag before I can react.

[You can see some items I got from this event in the livestream I uploaded to YouTube. Yes, my double can badges are all missing from this image.]

Now, you might be thinking this is the manager’s fault, or there should have been a limit from the beginning. I asked, and at other stores, there were not really many problems with resellers or having to impose limits. This was in fact a special case, and indeed, they mishandled the situation. In my personal opinion, Haikyuu events are the most well run. Even if they run out of an item, they still have enough stock for at least 70% of their expected capacity. They also literally write they will refuse to sell to resellers, which means, even beyond the “limits” they can literally say, “No, you cannot buy here.” (Even if they don’t enforce the rule, it keeps resellers from even trying.)

Additionally, last year’s Ani-kuji, at the same Animate, was pretty well-run. They didn’t rush, but they also didn’t make any mistakes with what was remaining. In that kuji, I came up, and there were about 12 tickets left. I asked for 10, but she showed me the remaining items; and, after asking about what I was shooting for, she told me in more words, “Just buy them all.” I got all the prizes she showed me were remaining.

Then, there is the reseller. People might find it hypocritical that I am criticizing a reseller, because I am, after all, a reseller. For events, however, I never buy more than what is acceptable for one person to buy; and additionally, I respect the other fans and don’t hold up the line, by, for example, doing 10 at a time. I limit the number of requests I accept. I go with one or two specific buyers in mind, sometimes my personal friends, so I know what they want and am shooting for certain prizes, just like everyone else. I make measured decisions on how much I have to spend and try to spend less than quoted. I’m not just trying to buy the whole damn store. The reseller wasted our time by doing their pulls that way, when they could have done it all online. They also changed the atmosphere completely. Regardless of the”Black Friday” mentality of the culture I grew up in, I like and enjoy this fandom and like to share anxious moments with them, but this time was not enjoyable at all.

(As a perspective, the vast majority of attendees to non-kuji events, myself included, will buy 1-5 items max. Also, buying “gifts” for friends is a common practice in Japan, so I stay within my own limits of what that looks like. While there are fans that buy up to the store limits for themselves, it isn’t as common as you would think.)

What does this have to do with YoI?

I’ve known for awhile that certain resellers that sell to international fans ruin the atmosphere in similar ways at YoI events. In general, I don’t usually run into them as I usually don’t have the resources or time to go to an $80 event for just 2 people. Additionally, I go at different times as them, because, well, again, I’m busy and don’t have time to be there Day 1. Yes, this means I do miss out on some goods, but I usually can still get what my buyers are asking for, so it isn’t a big deal.

But, if I am being honest, if I saw one of these resellers in the line ahead of me doing this to me, I might say something to them. Much like the reseller at the BSD event, they seem to slip by because of stereotypical Japanese politeness. I’m going to say this in a rather rude way, but that is taking advantage of an otherwise friendly fandom. Much like the reseller at the BSD event, they are probably already out the door without realizing the chaos they have caused in their wake. I would stretch to say it is even worse, because we were just some 10 people in line being imposed a limit at a free event. It is no comparison to some hundreds of people who paid good money to attend an event but are faced with sold-out goods. That is just devastating. Sure, the event is partially to blame for not being clairvoyant, but then, you have to remember the resellers are making money from it.

The unpopular point. 

The main point I want to make is that these resellers are in seen as my competition. People think maybe because of my mediocre social media presence, I am somehow the same as them. I am not. I do not see them as my competition because I do not do “preorders.” I do get exclusive goods, but I get them the same as a normal Japanese fan: second-hand markets, trying to attend to events with the little time and resources I have. I get the bulk of my goods second-hand, which is being influenced and affected by these resellers, whether international fans realize it or not.

I even find the discourse on YoI prices laughable, as the international fans need to know the fact that they are willing to pay high prices and “requesting” large amounts of goods before they can even hit the Japanese second-hand market is indeed increasing the resell prices in the Japan. International fans aren’t just innocent bystanders at the whims of the Japanese fandom. I’m not saying international fans should stop buying. I am saying they need to be open-minded to the idea that international fans affect the Japanese market as well.

Finally, these items are in fact, exclusive goods, regardless of how easily they are to buy on the internet. Sure, there is a premium, but compared to the everyday Japanese fans who do not know about the international preorder market, the fandom is not expecting to be at the exclusive event and then being told everything is sold out before the event is even halfway in, or getting there four hours early to have to wait another hour for one person to finish their transactions. The average Japanese fan spends a lot of time and energy just to get one thing, but resellers can bulk buy and spread their premium out over dozens of buyers who aren’t even at the event.

Now, some people seem to think I am a fool for wanting to play by unspoken rules in the Japanese fandoms (that I enjoy and regularly interact with, btw). Others seem upset that I would even dare to say anything is wrong with the international preorder market or the business practices of my “competition.” I get that they are your “only outlet” to exclusive goods, but that just tells me that you do not see me as a viable “outlet.”

I have over a hundred unsold YoI items in my store. My only option is to turn back to the Japanese market and do a part of my selling again here.

I will still continue to sell YoI, but my stock will be much more limited then it is now. Thank you all for your support until now and your continued support in the future.

(Yes, beka army fam, Otabek goods will still be priority items for me.)