#i haven’t made any new progress

[classical-vanity]

One thing I find really aggravating about myself is that I never finish things

[chrisbahng]

— [3:53am]

AUTHORS NOTE ; this is a repost from my old blog ( chrisbahng-old ). this is the only place this has been reposted and any other reposts are not me nor are they allowed. I am hoping to have new content soon and appreciate all the support so far <3

warnings ; chan is called alpha, breeding, petnames (puppy, angel, baby)

“Channie, it’s s’ big,” you wined as your boyfriend filled you only halfway full of his thick cock.

“I know, baby.” Chan cooed, bringing his hand to rest on your cheek, his thumb wiping away the tears that threatened to fall. “But look,” he brought his eyes from yours to where you two connected. “Alpha’s already halfway in you.”

“Only half?” your gaze left Chan’s as you peered down to see if he was telling the truth. A moan escaped your lips at the sight of him slowly pushing the rest if himself into you.

“You’re taking me so well, pup.” Chan groaned as he nearly bottomed out in you. “Taking my cock like it was made for you, yeah?”

You whimpered in response; hearing him praise you was something you would never tire of hearing.

“That’s my good puppy,” Chan whispered as his hips met yours for the first time that night. Chan let out a blissful sigh and brought his attention back up to you, your puppy-dog eyes watering with tears again and Chan leans his forehead against yours.

“C’mon, I know you can take it, love. I haven’t even properly fucked you yet.” He said, closing his eyes as he starts to pull himself out of you.

“Hurts, alpha, it hurts,” you finally mumble out and Chan smiles down at you softly.

“Shh, angel, you’re gonna be alright. I’m here, alpha’s here.” Chan kissed your lips before pulling out to the tip and thrusting himself back into you. “Shit, puppy,” he cursed as his hips met yours. “How the fuck are still this fucking tight,”

His words made you tighten the grip you had on his shoulders, your nails digging into his soft skin and leaving little moons. “You think your little cunt would be sloppy and messy, but fuck,”

You clenched at his words and whimpered  when he pulled himself back out again. Chan repeated his motions, pulling out to the tip before slamming back into you, but progressively got more and more merciless.

Your mind went hazy, trying to think of any coherent thought or word to say was like reaching for something that wasn’t there. The only thing you knew is that you were reaching your end.

“Channie,” you croak, “‘m close,”

“Aww, is my puppy gonna cum? Hmm?”

You nodded, not knowing how much longer you could hold on. “Please,” you begged. “Please let me cum on your cock,”

Chan’s jaw clenched at your words. He hears you mutter them enough, but it still gets him every single time.

“Fuck, pup. Alpha’s gonna cum,” he said through gritted teeth, leaning his head on your shoulder.

“Cum in me, please,” you whine, bringing your hips up to meet his.

Those four words was all it took for Chan to lose it, he thrust himself into you harder than he’s ever done and bit down on your supple flesh. You could feel his cock twitching as he let go inside you. You felt warm, not hot, but warm.

A soft smile spread to your lips when Chan pulled out of you for the final time that night.

Chan sat up on his knees, admiring his work. “You look so pretty, my love. All my cum spilling out of you like this. You’ll be even prettier when you’re all pregnant with my pups, yeah?”

Chan leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips, then nose and forehead. “Thank you, alpha,”

“Of course, pup. Now why don’t we run a bath, get us cleaned up a bit.” He replied.

You nodded in return, stretching your arms out for Chan to pick you up, not trusting your legs at the current moment. Chan lifted you up and kissed the top of your head. “You did so well tonight, I’m so proud of you.”

[veethefreeelf]

Love is a strong word - Y.JH

This is part 2 to ‘Hate is a strong word’ I’M SORRY it took a while but real life got in the way also my eye is being extra annoying! I hope you guys love this as much as I do (づ๑•ᴗ•๑)づ♡

Summary: 

It’s been a year since you moved away to a new branch. If you’re being honest, things haven’t been great. Being away from all you know and all you wanted has made you realize a lot of things and made you wish you had done things differently. Maybe moving back would be better for you. 

Wordcount: 15k

Warnings: lots of conflict and resolutions, super emotional, angsty as fuck, protected v. penetration, fingering, lots of praising and fluff, nothing major, smut is pretty tame and loving, biting because yes

Requested: yes, by popular demand 

P.S - Italic is for thoughts mainly from the characters’ perspective and quotes. Bold is for text messages/calls/voice messages between characters

It’s been a year since you moved to this new city and another branch at your company. It isn’t exactly going like you thought it would. You thought you would make friends easily. You thought your career would have progressed. You thought you wouldn’t think that much about Jeonghan. You were wrong on all counts.

Your career was still at the same stage it was when you moved. No exciting opportunities had opened. You had met some really nice people and your new team was great but you missed your team, you missed your best friends. You even missed Clara’s perverted comments on a daily basis. You missed the team meetings. You missed Jeonghan. You missed him a lot. 

One thing moving to a smaller town and being new will do to you is give you time to think about the past. You had thought a lot about Jeonghan. What your feelings for him were. Why you were trying to keep him away. Why you told yourself you were fine with him being on a date with Hana while fucking you. Being away from all of them gave you a lot of clarity on a lot of things from your past. It also allowed you to feel things without fear and embrace everything you were too scared to do before.

Too bad it was too late. 

You don’t know what happened with Jeonghan and Hana but you imagine them being happy together. And it devastated you. You should’ve said something. You shouldn’t have ran. You were a coward and it made you lose one of the best things in your life all because of pride.

No one from your previous team ever found out about you and Jeonghan. And every time you visited them or they visited you, the subject was never brought up. And, if you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t want to know. ‘Ignorance is bliss’ you tell yourself. At least this way you can pretend he doesn’t hate you now and that he is single and waiting for you. Your therapist disagrees and hopes you will face all your fears the next time you see him.

That’s another thing you did when you moved here. You got help. You got a therapist and it has helped you a lot. If anything, at least this year has made you grow as a person and made you realize how you should’ve handled most things in your life in the past. She has also helped you figure out ways for you to deal with your current feelings and given you tools to keep improving yourself to make sure you make the right decisions for yourself in the future.

It was okay living here though. The apartment wasn’t the best. You missed your baby terribly but you managed. You were adjusting fairly well. Initially, you had cried every day. It was very difficult to not see your people and not sleep in your bed. Now you were better. You were dealing with the consequences of your decision in a better way. You tried visiting your friends more and tried getting to know your new team more as well. You couldn’t deny that you did want to go back. To the branch, to your team, to your apartment, to… Everything that you left behind. But you didn’t think that opportunity would happen any time soon.

Work was always uneventful. All teams got along great and it was easy making decisions together. Also being a smaller branch, you didn’t get as many big accounts, so sometimes it was just a bit too slow for you and what you were accustomed to.

Today you had to finish the monthly report to your manager but not much else was going on so you let your team go home early for the day. You were having a hard time focusing on your work. Something that seems to have started when you moved here. You didn’t use to have this issue before. You were in the middle of your thoughts when your phone rang and snapped you out of it. You looked at it and smiled before answering.

“Hoshi, my beloved… Why are you calling me during work hours?”

“Seriously, this is your fault. Why would you leave us? This new manager is driving us insane” Hoshi told you in a whispered tone.

“Come on… He can’t be that bad. I heard really good things about him from when he was a team member here”

“I don’t know what kind of lies they told you but he is insane. His demands are outrageous. Remember how Jeonghan used to annoy us because he just wanted to? Well, this new guy has made Jeonghan annoy us even more and now Jeonghan is actually right! Can’t you understand how wrong this is?” Hoshi asked you.

“Here I thought I was special and Jeonghan only annoyed me. I guess we were all played, huh?” you asked Hoshi playfully.

“This isn’t funny, Y/N. Jeonghan has to be an asshole now because someone has to stop this guy. He is not ready to be a manager. You need to help us, say something to someone about him, please. I am begging you. We are begging you. And you owe us from leaving us with this lunatic” Hoshi answered in a very serious tone.

“Look, I can try and find out more about him and talk to my manager to see if anything can be done. But you know I don’t have that kind of power. You need to go to HR. Talk to Cass, she is usually the best person to reach for these things and she happens to be super close with Sunny. I will do the best I can on my side but I can’t guarantee anything” you told him sincerely. 

What you didn’t tell him was that you wished you could switch with their manager and get back to your team. You hadn’t told them yet that you wanted to be back. It’s not a possibility and it would only make everyone sadder. You were done being selfish.

“I know. I know, Y/N. It’s just… Why can’t you come back? This guy is clearly not a good fit for our branch and for our team” Hoshi told you in a sad tone.

“It’s not my choice anymore. There’s no openings at all Hoshi. And I made a commitment to this branch when I moved here. I can’t just up and leave” 

“You say that but we both know your worth and how much this company needs you. They would do anything you wanted to keep you. You could request to come back specially with all of us not getting along well with the new team lead. And it’s nothing personal. He just isn’t good at being a manager and he isn’t ready for it at this branch yet” Hoshi continued sincerely.

“I will speak to my manager about him, okay? But that’s all I can do for right now. You should reach out to Cass in HR on your side. The whole team should actually. And any other team that is also being affected by this should speak up as well” you added sternly.

“Okay, Y/N. Thank you. I have to go before he loses his shit. I hope you’re well and please, visit us soon” he said and you both hung up.

In a way Hoshi was right. You could request this change to the company. And it would make sense. Their new manager came from this branch where things are much slower and much easier. He was not ready for the big leagues as a manager at least. It would be easy to convince your manager. 

For now, you would do the right thing and put your personal feelings aside. You would talk to your manager just like you promised Hoshi and it would be up to them on how to proceed from here.

There was a knock on your door and one of your team members - Chris - walked in.

“I thought I told you to go home for the day. Nothing to do around here for now” you told him and smiled.

“Well, you know me. I can’t leave with the boss still around. Hardly seems fair. Also I like to work for my money, thank you very much” he added as he started to move to sit on the chair across from you.

“Never met anyone that wouldn’t rush out of the office if told by their bosses before. Also please don’t call me boss. I told you so many times Chris” you said. Chris smiled.

Chris was a lovely guy. He was your right hand at this branch. He introduced you to everyone and made it easier for you to adjust to the change. He is also one of your best team members. Very hard working and constantly looking to improve and progress his career as well. He reminds you of a younger you.

The only problem with Chris is that he seems very interested in you. He has reached out to you about his feelings several times and wants you to give him a chance. This is one of the reasons you mostly haven’t gotten to know your team in the same way you tried with your previous team.

He was gorgeous. Tall. Muscular. Beautiful Australian accent. You were simply not interested. You had someone else in your mind and in your heart and even though you weren’t strong enough and brave enough to do anything about it, you knew you could never start something new with someone else without resolving the past.

Chris knew it too. Well not the whole ‘having feelings for someone else’ part but that you weren’t interested. And he had been very understanding. He hadn’t pushed at all. Simply told you if anything changed, he would always be open to explore your relationship further. It was sweet. He was one of the few things that kept you sane over here and you didn’t want to lose him.

“Are you going to be done soon? I was thinking maybe we can leave together?” Chris asked you.

“Sorry, no. I’ve been procrastinating for the last 20 minutes and now I’m late in delivering this. You go ahead and leave. I’m also going to try and catch the actual boss before leaving” you told him and he got up to leave.

“Alright, Y/N. See you tomorrow, have a great night” he told you before leaving.

Thankfully, your manager was still here as well and you were able to talk to him about the new team lead that Hoshi told you about. Seungkwan was his name. He was a very passionate team lead over here and yes, demanding but no one had ever had any complaints since he had been promoted. You explained to your boss the pace of the two branches are very different and so are the team members and the demands. You recommended someone check on the teams of the other branch and with Seungkwan himself to understand how everyone is adjusting and if any changes are necessary and your boss agreed. 

You’ve done your part. You have warned the right people and now it’s up to them to assess and make decisions. 

You got home and called Hoshi to tell him and he was relieved. He also reached out to Cass and everyone else on his team did the same. Apparently, tomorrow the advertising team and some IT members are also going to Cass about Seungkwan. Wow. He really hasn’t made any friends. Poor guy. This branch was very happy with him when he was here. Maybe he just isn’t ready for the amount of work and stress the other branch entails. 

During that phone call with Hoshi, he asked you to come visit the following weekend and you agreed. You needed to see all of them. You told him to please arrange for all the team members to be available to hang out and drink and eat and gossip and he was more than happy to start sending voice messages screaming in the group chat you all have together. It made you smile so hard that they were still the same crazy bunch and they still cared so much about you even after you left.

Since you have a big drive to do whenever you visit, you made a request to your boss to book next Thursday and Friday off so you could really enjoy a proper weekend with them and with your apartment. He approved and you were all set for next week. You were so excited too. You couldn’t hide it.

“I wonder if Y/N will ever get this excited to see us in the future” Hyunjin, another one of your team members spoke and it broke you out of your daydream and silly smile.

“Definitely not. We’re the rebound” Felix - your sweetest team member - chimed in.

“Hey! That’s unfair. I’ve never treated any of you like a rebound. How dare you?” you asked Felix and pouted.

Everyone laughed and your team meeting proceeded again without any incidents. Like you said, your team was great and if you hadn’t had the perfect team members before, maybe you could appreciate them more but you truly missed your people. You were so ready to come and see them. 

The week went by fast and at last Wednesday arrived and you couldn't wait for the day to end for you to go home and get ready to leave. Before your day was done, your boss called you into his office to discuss something that apparently couldn’t wait until you got back.

“I know you have to leave and I’m sorry to call you in right now but it’s precisely because you are going to visit them over there that I wanted to get this out of the way before you left” he told you once you sat down in front of him.

“I’m not getting fired, am I? That would lead to a depressing weekend” you said jokingly and you both laughed.

“Not at all. This company will do the best they can to keep you around in any branch and you know that as well. You’re far too valuable. This is about the team lead situation you brought to light to me last week, actually” he told you and you sat there silently waiting for him to continue.

“After we talked about it, I brought it up to the head of HR and they actually talked to everyone at that branch including Seungkwan and his manager to understand what could be happening. It was determined that Seungkwan is not ready for a managerial position at that branch just yet. However, he still wanted to stay on as a team member for the marketing team and learn from the new team lead that joins their team instead of coming back to this branch” he added and you nodded.

“Now, as much as the possibility of losing you pains me personally, it’s up to me to let you know that the company is actually giving you the choice. Since you were the one that started bringing this to everyone’s attention and you were extremely successful in leading the team in the other branch before, they wanted to give you the opportunity to return to the branch as team lead if you wanted to”

“Return?” you asked confused.

Your manager laughed.

“Yes. You have one of two options. Return there as team lead and continue on where you left off with the team and to your success or stay here with us” he said and you looked down.

“Look, I know this branch isn’t working exactly as you thought it would for you. I’m not blind to that. Not only that but the opportunities that you were told you were getting here haven’t happened and won’t anytime soon. So even though I don’t want to lose you, I really want you to think it over” 

“Does anyone else know about this? Team members, branches?” you asked him.

“No. The managers know but no one else. They will only be told after a decision is made. If you choose to stay with us, they will hire an outsider for the team lead position at the other branch. If you choose to return to your branch, we will most likely promote Chris as the team lead here” he answered you.

“Chris would be great as a team lead for this team. They all trust him and he has seen me do a lot of the team lead tasks so he’ll learn quickly” you told your manager.

“Does this mean you’re choosing to return to them then?” he asked you and you paused.

“No… I don’t know yet. Can I think this over the weekend? I’m assuming you also told me this today to have me think it over while I’m there” you said and laughed lightly.

“Of course and yes, that’s exactly why I told you. Monday we can discuss this more but go have fun and rest” he told you. You said your goodbyes for the weekend and went home to pack and get ready.

It’s funny. You spent most of this year wanting this opportunity to open up. And now that it’s here, you’re hesitating. 

Going back there would mean facing a lot of things you left behind. Things you weren’t sure you were completely ready for just yet. Sure, you had been working on yourself and on making better decisions for yourself and on being more honest with everyone around you but you were still scared.

Returning also meant finding out what happened with Jeonghan this last year and you didn’t know if you were ready for that. If he was still dating Hana and you had to start seeing them together every day, you might lose your mind completely. Not knowing anything made you feel that maybe, just maybe, he was waiting for you just like you were waiting for him. You didn’t want that delusion to be shattered by reality.

On the other hand, you missed everyone terribly. You missed the pacing of your job, your people, your apartment, your favorite restaurants. Would you really pass this opportunity up just because you were scared of getting your heart broken?

You haven’t decided yet. Maybe your manager is right. Seeing everyone and going back there can really help you make a final decision and the right decision for yourself personally and professionally. 

The next day you were well rested and ready for the drive. All you could think about was seeing your apartment and lying in your bed.

As soon as you got to your apartment, you felt like a new person. You loved the feeling of coming home. Your actual home. You went out to get groceries and came back home to cook a nice meal and hang out at your place. You missed this so much, being by yourself in your home and binging a show on the couch. This was all you had planned for today. 

Tomorrow you were meeting them at your usual place where you used to have most of your team building dinners. You missed that place too even if the last time you were there you were faced with Jeonghan and Hana on a date. You were not going to let them ruin a great restaurant for you. Tomorrow you would enjoy hanging out with everyone and hopefully get a better understanding of what the right decision is for you. For now, you’ll just enjoy your cozy home you missed so much.

The next day and a half went by fast and it was now Friday night and you were getting ready to go to dinner. You couldn’t wait to see them and get a little crazy. It’s been such a long while since you were all together like this.

You took a Uber and got to the restaurant a bit early but you were just too excited. As you were getting ready to go in, you heard Hoshi calling your name from across the street.

“Y/N! You’re early! Aren’t you a bit too excited to hang out with your favorite people in the entire world?? Simp” Hoshi yelled from across the street as Seokmin was still getting out of the Uber behind him.

“I missed this restaurant and I’m hungry. Don’t flatter yourself!” you yelled back and the three of you laughed.

Hoshi and Seokmin crossed the street and you finally hugged. You missed them so much.

“We should go in. Everyone else is already here and Shua was already texting me and being clingy. He really missed you” Seokmin said and started moving towards the entrance of the restaurant. 

“Shua? You invited him? I thought it was just us” you said and your heart started beating rapidly inside your chest. 

“Oh it wasn’t me, Y/N. Hoshi here invited the whole advertising team and they all accepted” Seokmin said as he smiled mischievously at Hoshi.

“Thanks, Seokmin…” Hoshi said and turned to you.

“You invited them? Why? Hoshi I wanted to hang out just us like the old days… I thought I was pretty clear…” you said and Seokmin patted Hoshi on the back and got in the restaurant leaving you both alone.

“Look, they overheard me and I felt bad not inviting them. Shua and Wonwoo talk about you all the time. They miss you too, Y/N” 

“Why not invite just them then? Why everyone?” you asked. You were trying to look behind Hoshi into the restaurant but you couldn’t see the table you were all sitting at.

“Is this about Jeonghan? I thought you two were cool…” Hoshi asked as he scratched the back of his head.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I was just surprised. Thank you for getting everyone together, Hoshi” 

He smiled and you both started to go into the restaurant and to the back towards your table. There were a lot of you so they placed your table at the back of the restaurant for more privacy. Also they knew your team well and how loud you could get with drinks in you so it was the overall best option for everyone.

“Stop everything! She has arrived!” Hoshi yelled as you two got to the table and almost everyone jumped.

“I will have a heart attack working with you people” someone you didn’t know spoke up and you stared at Hoshi.

“That’s our new team lead. He invited himself” Hoshi whispered to you.

“So you’re the one terrorizing these teams? Gotta say… Very impressive. Here I thought I was special but you can get everyone just as mad” you said and everyone laughed.

Jeonghan had been staring at you since the moment you walked up to the table. You could feel his eyes on you. You were trying to act normal in front of your team but you wanted to talk to him. Maybe tonight is not the best night to talk things over but you needed to at least understand if there even was a possibility of talking things over. You definitely don’t think you can come back if things are not resolved between the two of you.

Dinner with everyone was easy. Everyone was telling stories and telling you the updates for everything and you even got to know Seungkwan a bit more. He seemed like a wonderful guy. He was loud and he and Hoshi were always on each other’s nerves but if you were to come back, you could see this working well. He would make a wonderful addition as a team member.

Shua, Seungcheol and Wonwoo tried pretending to be upset with you for a bit but that all fell to pieces when you all got into your usual shenanigans. Another thing you realize now that you’re here is that you definitely neglected these three boys when you left. You completely lost touch with them and it wasn’t fair to them. You’re lucky they’re being merciful.

Silvia has gotten really close with Seokmin you can tell. It’s cute. She has always been the quiet one whenever your teams are together and it’s good to see she feels a bit more comfortable around everyone with Seokmin by her side.

Jeonghan didn’t say much throughout the dinner. He laughed sometimes and smiled but didn’t chime in much. You didn’t know what changed (if anything) in his life since you left. Maybe he was doing this on purpose. You wish you were brave enough to ask him directly in front of everyone.

As usual, Clara breaks you out of your thoughts by saying the most outrageous shit out of nowhere.

“So, Y/N… Be honest… Have you fucked that Chris guy on your team yet?” 

There is a moment where everyone is silent and then a few seconds later of staring at each other everyone bursts out laughing.

“I missed your ridiculousness, Clara. Thank you, I really needed a good laugh” you said as you continued laughing.

“Oh come on! Seriously! What’s wrong with you? This guy was so fucking hot, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I went there. Almost requested a transfer instantly” Clara added and you kept laughing.

“How hot?” Sunny asked and everyone stared at her still laughing.

“Wow, I leave for a year and Sunny turns into Clara… Seungkwan, you gotta get a handle on the children” you said and Seungkwan laughed.

“Tall, muscular, Australian hunk. Sunny, literally one of the hottest men I’ve seen with my own two eyes and he was all over Y/N. I was so jealous… Why do you always get the hottest guys to be into you and you don’t even take advantage of it? Unfair” Clara answered Sunny and Sunny gasped.

“Do you have pictures?” Sunny asked.

“Of course, I have pictures of all my coworkers on my phone. Because that’s not creepy at all” you added and got up to use the restroom.

“I follow him on Instagram, let me show you” Clara said and you shook your head and continued going to the bathroom.

When you came back, Clara and Sunny were still looking at Chris’s Instagram page and drooling. They started telling you what an idiot you were for not even trying to date him and you just shrugged.

“But seriously, no boyfriends we should know about?” Shua asked and you were surprised by his question.

Everyone turned to you.

“No. Not really interested in dating at the moment. Still have a few things to resolve in that arena in my life before I even consider starting to date again” you answered honestly and you hoped Jeonghan picked up on what you were trying to say.

Shua caught that as well, smiled at you and looked at Jeonghan who was now staring at his empty plate.

Clara and Sunny booed at you and everyone moved on from that topic and continued to chat about changes or new things they purchased or hobbies they started after you left. You were trying hard to pay attention to them but you needed to talk to Jeonghan. He just didn’t seem interested in talking to you.

As you were trying to convince yourself to just go for it, Jeonghan got up and told everyone he had to leave and your heart sank. There goes your chance.

“Late date?” Clara asked as she raised her eyebrows at him and everyone laughed and started telling her off. You pretended to laugh but you didn’t find any of this funny.

“No” was all he said before saying his goodbyes and leaving. He didn’t even look at you before leaving. He was always so unfair. As far as he knows, you may never be back here again. He may never see you again. Yet, he doesn’t seem to care. He doesn’t even care enough to tell you goodbye. Maybe coming back here would be a huge mistake if this is how you’re going to feel every day.

Seokmin snapped you back from your thoughts by squeezing your hand and smiling at you. He didn’t know about you and Jeonghan but he seemed to understand your sadness at that moment while everyone else didn’t notice anything.

You thought about maybe ending the night early but that wouldn’t be fair to anyone else there so you pushed through. You also deserved to have fun with your friends. You have plenty of time to be sad when you get home.

The rest of the night went by fast. The group moved from the restaurant to a karaoke bar and everyone was having a blast. You might have had too much to drink but you needed to stop thinking about Jeonghan and focus on your friends so alcohol it is. You were going to regret this tomorrow. 

And regret it you did. You woke up with a huge hangover. Your head was pounding. Why did you drink this much? Oh yeah… Jeonghan. At least everyone seemed to have enjoyed the night. You should’ve drank more water though. You got up, took an ibuprofen, showered and decided to rest more until your headache went away. 

It sounded like a good plan and was going great until someone decided to ruin your entire mood by ringing your doorbell. You tried ignoring it and turned around on your bed to go back to sleep but the doorbell kept ringing.

You got up and went to the door. Whoever it was, they better be ready for a fight. You were tired, angry, sad and out of patience for any nonsense today.

You didn’t even check the peephole. You get to the door and you swing it open, ready to fight and when you finally see who’s on the other side, you stop.

“Not a good morning, Y/N?” Jeonghan asks, laughing lightly.

You sigh and gesture at him to come in.

“What gave it away? The disheveled hair? The swinging the door open?” you asked as you sat on the couch.

“The general rage, yes. Had a good time last night after I left, huh?” he asked and he joined you on the couch.

“I forgot how insane they are when they drink. I missed everyone so much that I let myself get carried away. Mistake”

You both laughed. And then there was silence. You couldn’t take this anymore. It was now or never.

“Why did you ignore me last night? You barely said anything or even looked at me. You didn’t even say goodbye. That could’ve been the last time you saw me and you didn’t even say anything. Why?” you asked him.

“I’ll never be able to say goodbye to you, Y/N. I couldn’t do it a year ago and I can’t do it now” he answered without hesitation.

You nodded.

“Why did you come here today? You didn’t seem to be interested in talking to me yesterday” you asked again.

“It wasn’t easy seeing you. After all this time. I went there because I needed to see you but I didn’t know if I should be there. If you wanted me there. I didn’t want to ruin your night but I couldn’t not go. I was being selfish” 

“So you decided to leave early yesterday and come here today and ruin a whole new day for me?” you asked in a playful tone but he didn’t laugh with you.

“I wanted to see you, Jeonghan. I know I wasn’t being obvious about it yesterday but everyone was there. I didn’t want to ruin the night for them. It was the first time we were all together in a long time. I couldn’t be selfish. But I wanted to be” you added to your previous statement.

He nodded.

“Then can we talk? Right now? It’s why I came here. There’s a lot of things we need to talk about. I should’ve done this earlier. Way before last year even. I’m a coward when it comes to you” Jeonghan said.

“Yes, please” you answered and you both smiled.

“I’ve never been the smoothest guy around. The guy that can easily talk to a girl he likes. I’ve always gotten weird and acted stupid. I don’t know why. And now I would like to think I’m better but back then when we met 6 years ago, I was still that stupid kid that didn’t know how to act when he liked a girl. That’s kind of why this started. Back then, when I first saw you, I wanted to get to know you more. You were so beautiful, I still remember what you were wearing the first day we met. But you didn’t seem to notice me. At all. The only time you acknowledged me was in an interdepartmental meeting when I made a snappy comment and you started getting snarky with me. I thought this was my shot. This is how you were going to notice me” he started and you scoffed.

“So you decided to be an asshole from then on? Why not just come to me and talk to me?” you asked.

“Like I said, I was a dumb kid. I wanted your attention but I wasn’t brave enough or confident enough to simply walk up to you and start a conversation so I decided having you mad at me was better than having you not know I even existed. Things went downhill fast from there. You were hating me more and more and I was… Liking you more and more. But after a year of this dynamic, I didn’t know how to stop it and just talk to you. Seungcheol always gave me so much shit for it. He kept saying I was going to regret not having talked to you and gotten to know you the proper way. That it was going to bite me in the ass and he was right” he sighed as he continued.

So that’s what Seungcheol meant when he asked you if you didn’t know why Jeonghan treated you this way. He knew all along of Jeonghan’s feelings for you and he probably thought you knew as well, somehow.

“Y/N, I’ve had feelings for you from day one. That’s why it hurt so much hearing you say you hated me even if I brought it on myself. When you gave me a chance to have you in my arms, even if it was just that night at the party, I didn’t hesitate. I couldn’t. I had wanted you for so long. Desperate for your attention. Part of me wishes I stopped myself from having you that night. I should’ve told you the truth right there but I couldn’t risk you leaving. I was selfish that night too” 

You looked down and he sighed. 

You didn’t know what to say. Even though this made sense, it also didn’t. You still had so many questions. You needed to know everything. No more fear. No more being a coward.

You looked back at Jeonghan.

“Why did you sleep with Hana then? If you had feelings for me from the start?” you asked and he laughed.

“Another stupid mistake I made because of my feelings for you” he said and you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Do you remember the only year we had the Christmas party at the office? The one where the office almost got destroyed?” he asked and you nodded.

“Before that party I promised myself I was going to talk to you. Really talk. Maybe drunkenly confess my feelings for you and hope for the best. But you spent the first few hours of that party with Jackson. Smiling and laughing and having fun and I was fucking miserable watching you two. I started drinking a bit too much and when Hana came to me I thought ‘fuck it’. If you could live your life and probably end up dating Jackson, I could fuck whoever I wanted too. I didn’t really think about the consequences of sleeping with her until it was done. She told the whole office and the look of disgust you gave me when you found out was enough for me to realize that if I hadn’t ruined all my chances with you before, I definitely had then”

“You’re an idiot” you told him.

“I know” he agreed.

“Even if you regretted it afterwards, you seemed to have a good time. She said a lot of things about that night. Hard to believe you cared about me that much but fucked her that good. Or maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic that doesn’t understand fucking without feelings” you said and you looked down.

You know you wanted the truth but you had forgotten how much the truth could hurt.

“You fucked me and you hated me though” he said and you scoffed.

“You really are an idiot…” you said and sighed.

He looked at you with a puzzled look in his eyes. 

“Don’t look so confused. I’ll explain my side soon. Continue” you told him.

“About what she said, it was all lies. I may have been drunk but I remember that night clearly. It was terrible. I didn’t even put in an effort. I didn’t care. I was picturing you the whole time, I’m actually surprised I didn’t say your name. Probably because nothing felt good. I just wanted to get it over with. When we were done, I left immediately without even saying a word to her. I was disgusted with myself. I went to sleep that night hoping you would never find out about it. You know I’m like you, I know you’ve heard it around the office too. I don’t just fuck people, I don’t do the fuck buddy thing. I’ve always been looking for the real deal. I will always regret that night” he said and you started to understand him a bit more, but there were still a couple of things on your mind when it came to Hana.

“Why let her hang around you all the time at the office? If you were mad about her telling everyone and if you really weren’t interested, why let her follow you around and grab you whenever she wants?” you asked.

He smiled at you.

“The first time she did it in front of you, it seemed like you were jealous. I didn’t know if it was wishful thinking on my part, but the look in your eye when she started touching me gave me hope. Again, I’m an idiot, I know” he answered and now it actually made you laugh lightly.

“Can’t argue with that” you said and he laughed with you.

“Last question about her and I think you know what’s coming” you said and he sighed and nodded.

“If all of this is true, what happened when I met you both at the restaurant? She said you were on a date. Why?” 

“This one is actually an easy one to answer. We were never on a date. Woozi in IT invited me out for dinner and drinks to join their team dinner since I wasn’t doing so well and I agreed. When the time of the dinner came, everyone else canceled except her so I was stuck with her. Not sure if it was her plan all along but I know Woozi wouldn’t do that to me so I guess it worked in her favor somehow. I decided to stay because I was hungry and tired and wanted a drink and then we ran into you. When she said it was a date, I really wanted to say something different but the look in your eyes… I knew I needed to explain myself outside of that situation. You weren’t going to let me do it there specially since you were late for your team dinner”

He does know you well. You would’ve left either way that night. What you still don’t understand is why he didn’t tell you all of this before you left.

“Why didn’t you tell me all of this? Why did you let me leave thinking you were fucking me while dating her?” you finally asked.

“Before that restaurant situation, you had been distancing yourself from me. I didn’t know why but I was too scared to find out. I thought maybe you were done. With us. With me. I didn’t think you would want to hear anything from me anymore. And when you also didn’t reach out or asked for an explanation about Hana, I thought that meant you didn’t care. I thought you didn’t care if I was dating her or not because we were just fucking. I thought if I reached out and told you the truth, you were going to tell me it was just sex. That it was never more than that between us. I didn’t want to hear that”

“So you let me leave? No goodbye. No explanation. Just a text. How do you think I felt when you did that?” you asked with tears in your eyes now.

“I know how much I fucked up. After sending that text and staring at my phone, I realized I would rather let you know the whole truth even if it meant you rejecting me than this. I drove to your place but when I got there, you were gone” he added and he also had tears in his eyes now.

“Why didn’t you ever call me? Or even texted me? Why not tell me all of this even if I was away?” you asked him as you cried softly.

“I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me. You had this new life now in a different city with new people. I thought you were over whatever happened with us”

“I spent this whole year thinking about you” you said and he nodded sadly.

There was a silence in the room with you now. 

He had told you the whole truth. Since the very first day. No more hiding. 

It was your turn now but you didn’t even know where to start so you told him just that.

“Thank you for telling me this now. I also have some explaining to do but I don’t even know where to start…”

“From the beginning. From when we met, please. I need to know” Jeonghan told you and you agreed.

“I thought you were the most beautiful human I’d ever seen. When we first met. I’m also not the best at talking to people I like. I usually don’t, at all. I stay away and just enjoy the person from afar. It seems easier than being rejected. Adding that to how obsessed I was with the company and being hired there, I guess it would have seemed like I didn’t notice you at all. But I did. Which is why I was so pissed every time you were an asshole to me. Not only was the career I dreamed of taking a hit but the guy I had a crush on apparently wanted to destroy my career” you said and laughed.

He laughed with you.

You were both idiots. 

“After that, I accepted that you just hated me. I had to move on or I would end up breaking my own heart. So I told myself that I hated you. I would hate you from then on and treat you exactly like you were treating me. I spent years avoiding what I really felt about you. It seemed easier that way. I needed to focus on my career and ignore whatever was going on with you. It was the smartest decision for me” you told him and continued.

“I didn’t realize all of this until I left though. Being away and getting a therapist helped me realize all of my feelings for you. Made me understand what I did wrong and what I wish I could change. Distancing myself from you after our last night here was a huge mistake. But at the time I was confused. I still thought I didn’t like you at all so how could I let you in here. I didn’t want to see the truth. I wasn’t ready for it. It’s easier now, even if it hurts, knowing exactly what my feelings for you are” you added.

“Is that why you didn’t say anything after the restaurant incident?” he asked you.

“Yeah. I had already been distant from you trying to sort out my feelings and when I saw you with her I made my decision. Maybe it was best if we stopped whatever it was we were doing. Then when we didn’t speak after that and my manager gave me the option to leave, again, it seemed easier than trying to deal with everything. I used my career as an excuse but I just wasn’t ready to face this. I am now” you answered.

You were trying to explain everything to him but sometimes it’s hard to put all of this in words. It’s been 6 years of confusion and misunderstandings. Where do you go from here?

“I don’t want to ask this but what about Jackson? What happened at the Christmas party?” he asked and it surprised you.

“Honestly I don’t even remember that party at all. I don’t remember spending that much time with Jackson. I never liked him and I always knew he was just trying to fuck me. I was nice to him at first but I guess over time I lost patience and that’s why now it may be more obvious of how not interested I am” you told him and he nodded.

“And Chris?” he asked in a more hushed voice.

You laughed.

“Chris is a great guy. And he has told me he’s interested in me. I told him no. I still had things from my past to sort out and wasn’t interested. He understood. We’re friends. Sure, he still hopes one day I’ll give him a chance but I already told him many times not to wait for that” you said and he smiled.

You smiled too.

You weren’t sure if there was anything else he wanted to know but it seems most of your past issues have been explained on both sides. Past has been resolved in a way. But what about the future? Is there a future? You’re trying to figure out how to ask this question when he interrupts your thoughts.

“What about now? What happens now? You’re still living far away, it would be tricky but I want to see you again. And a lot more. Maybe we can go back to how things were between us…” Jeonghan said and the last part he said with more nervousness in his tone.

Thing is… He still didn’t say what his feelings were. He said he liked you but that could mean anything. Now he wants to go back to how things were? No… That’s not what you want at all. You thought you had been clear.

“No, I don’t want to go back to how things were. I know that for sure” you told him and his smile fell from his face.

“Oh… Hmm… Okay… I thought that was what we both wanted. I guess I got that wrong” he said as he started to get up from the couch and move towards the door. 

“Wait, where are you going? You didn’t let me finish” you said as you followed behind him.

“No, I get it. I thought things could go back to that but they can’t. We’ve been hurting each other for so long. I wouldn’t want to be with me either. Sorry. I should go. I’m meeting Seungcheol for lunch but thanks for listening to me” he said as he left your apartment.

You were left alone, in the middle of your living room, confused and staring at your door.

‘What the hell just happened?’ you asked yourself. You thought the conversation was going well. You were both reaching an agreement so why would he leave. He didn’t even let you explain what you meant when you said you didn’t want things to go back to the way things were. Was that all he wanted from this? To explain everything and then go back to just fucking each other? Why was he always so confusing? Things between two people aren’t supposed to be this difficult. You can’t even hold a conversation without misunderstandings. How was this ever going to work?

You were left confused and wondering what any of it meant for the both of you.

The rest of the weekend went by fast. You met up with some of the guys for lunch and just to hang out and Sunday came fast. Before you knew it, it was time to leave again. You couldn’t leave without trying to understand what went wrong and what you said that made Jeonghan leave so abruptly. You decided to call him. He didn’t answer so you texted him.

“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you and do this on short notice but I would really like to see you before I have to leave today. I feel like our conversation ended and you left on another misunderstanding. Can you please, make some time for me today? I have to leave by 6PM, the latest. I’m free the rest of the day. Let me know, okay?”

Nothing.

He didn’t answer the text. He never called you back. 

It was 6:30PM and you were still in your apartment staring at your phone, waiting for him.

Crying, you pick up your bags and get ready to leave.

This would never work. He is unable to resolve things by talking. He always runs away from you. You would end up getting your heart broken in the future.

Not that your heart isn’t broken right now. You opened up to him and told him the whole truth and somehow he chose to listen to the wrong thing and leave. This time you were proud of yourself though. You reached out to him and you tried to resolve everything before having to leave again. It was his choice to not listen. There’s only so much you can do. Relationships are a two way street. You can’t keep fighting for something while the other person simply gives up and walks away. It’s exhausting and you will always end up in tears. 

Maybe this was for the best.

That four hour drive was done listening to sad songs and trying to tell yourself you’ll be just fine. You still had no fucking clue of what you wanted to do. Even though you had an amazing time with everyone including the new guy, this situation with Jeonghan might prove to be a little too much for you to handle. 

You needed to sleep on this and hope your boss didn’t ask you for your answer first thing in the morning.

The next day you went to work and went back to normal. The usual meetings, usual coachings, usual schedule. It felt normal. 

By the end of the day you still didn’t know what to do. You missed everything about the other branch, city and people. But you didn’t know if your heart could take any more hits. Going back there wasn’t going to be easy.

You were split. 

It was the end of the day and you were packing up to go home. Your boss hasn’t mentioned it at all. You talked about work during the day and he checked-in with you and the team but he didn’t ask you anything else. You felt relieved. Maybe he would give you more time before making a final decision.

As you reached for the door of your office to leave, there’s a knock.

It was your boss.

Fuck. You knew it was too good to be true.

“Hey again, Y/N. Going home?” he asked you.

“Yup. Not a fan of overtime especially when the work's all done” you told him and you both laughed.

“Look, I don’t want to pressure you but we have their branch breathing down our necks. They need an answer asap. I assume you don’t have one yet since you didn’t talk to me about it but just a heads up, they might contact you directly if you take too long deciding” he let you know and you sighed.

“I want to go back. Nothing against this branch but it’s just a bit too slow paced for me. You’re a great manager and I’ve really enjoyed my time here but it’s been difficult adjusting even to my apartment. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier today. Not gonna lie, before this moment, I had no clue what I wanted but as soon as you asked me I knew what the answer was” you answered him and he laughed.

“I get it. You and that team are the dream team. Hard to move on from that when that’s what you love. I don’t hold it against you. We can let the team here know tomorrow so that you can start helping Chris with stepping into the role, is that okay?”

“Of course but this soon? When do I have to leave by?” you asked a bit surprised on how fast this was moving.

“They want you back there asap. I don’t blame them either. I’ll let them know of your decision and let’s say two weeks? Would that be enough time for Chris to get prepared? What do you think as his current team lead?”

“That’s more than enough time. Like I told you before, Chris was already aware and saw me do a lot of the team lead’s tasks. It should be an easy adjustment for him” you said and he nodded.

“Alright, then! Have a good night and we’ll meet with your team first thing in the morning” your manager told you as he walked out with you.

“One more thing… Can we not tell the team over there? I wanted to surprise them, if that’s okay?” you asked your manager and he laughed again.

“I’m okay with it. Let me ask them over there and I’ll let you know tomorrow, yeah?” he answered you and you nodded.

You got to your apartment, sat down on the couch and started laughing.

You have no idea what came over you but when your manager asked what you wanted to do, you couldn’t help but say you wanted to go back. This whole thing with Jeonghan won’t be easy and you will hurt but at least you’ll be around the people you love most in the world, in your comfy home that you love so much.

You couldn’t wait to leave.

The next two weeks went by so slow. Every day seemed to drag on forever. This was how bad you wanted to go back. 

Your team was sad but they understood your decision and they were also super excited about having Chris step up. 

You spent those two weeks helping Chris and preparing him for the role and by the end he was full on taking care of the team while you shadowed along. Maybe that’s why the days went by even slower at the end. You were watching Chris do your job and reporting to your manager but you weren’t doing much more.

Your manager was able to convince the other branch about keeping this a secret for now. Seungkwan was informed and he also promised to not say anything since he knew what this meant for you all. He may have only spent that one night around all of you but it was clear to him you belonged there with the team and that he still had a lot to learn before stepping up at that branch.

It was difficult not to say anything in the group chat specially since your team figured out some moves in the team were going to happen but they just didn’t know what and they kept talking about it and speculating. They were suspicious it had to do with Seungkwan since they all filed the same complaint with HR but they weren’t sure since Seungkwan wouldn’t tell them either.

The day before you left you had dinner with Chris and the boys to say goodbye. They were a great team, really. You just didn’t belong here with them. You hoped the best for them and you knew Chris would grow a lot more in the future if he kept working the way he had.

The next day you drove home. Home. Felt good to say and to think about. You couldn’t wait to get there. 

You had to be careful once you got there though. You didn’t want to get caught and be told on before Monday. Clara lives very close to you so grocery shopping was going to be a risk but you had to risk it because there was no way you weren’t going to cook and enjoy some nice home cooked meals. 

Those days went by fast and so far no one had found out you were back and would be back working at the branch.

When you got to the office, you went straight to your manager’s office and as soon as you walked in, you two shared a huge hug. She had missed you just as much as you had missed her. Having another woman team lead to fight Jeonghan’s manager was much needed since he had been on a whole other level after you left.

Part of you thinks your manager asked the whole office to join the meeting so that she could rub it in his face that you were back permanently to make his life hell if needed.

The time for the meeting was finally here and your heart was beating fast. You’re excited to see your team’s reaction but also you can’t deny that you want to see how Jeonghan reacts. 

How can something so simple be so terrifying?

When everyone was gathered in the big conference room, your manager started the meeting by saying there would be a few changes happening in the marketing team. She kept her speech short and gave Seungkwan the floor.

“So as you guys know, I transferred here from a much slower branch. When I was team lead there things were very different. I adjusted well and got along well with everyone. Here, things have been tricky. Even though I get along with my team on a personal level, things have been less than ideal on a professional level. When all of this became clear to all of us, I was approached by my manager and I was informed I was going to be replaced here as team lead. I could either choose to stay here as a member of the marketing team, or go back to my previous branch as team lead” he paused then and everyone started looking around in confusion. Probably because they knew you were the team lead at that branch so what did this all mean?

“Well, I chose to stay here as a team member. I wanted to learn from the new team lead whoever that was. Initially I didn’t know who that was. The final decision hadn’t been made but once I found out who it was, I was incredibly happy to be working and learning from her. I don’t want to prolong this anymore than I already have so let’s all please, welcome the new team lead for our marketing team!” he said and started clapping.

Everyone else joined and started to look around trying to find the person who was replacing Seungkwan. 

You got in the room from behind your manager and as soon as Hoshi’s eyes landed on you, he ran to you and picked you up while screeching like an insane bird.

“Put me down, you maniac!” you said and as soon as he did everyone from your team ran up to hug you.

“Better surprise than last time?” you asked and they all nodded.

You were all in your little world and your manager interrupted you.

“Not to ruin this family reunion but do you have a few words for everyone?” she asked.

“I’m not very good at these things as you probably found out last time so I don’t have a lot to say. It was a good experience over there but not enough for me professionally. Also I missed my team and my home. And now I’m back so I’m looking forward to working and/or fighting some of you” you said and everyone laughed. 

You found Jeonghan in the back behind everyone. He had a blank expression on his face and as soon as your manager told everyone they could go, he was the first one out the door.

You were disappointed but not surprised. This reaction was very him.

Shua, Wonwoo and Seungcheol ran up to you and welcomed you back. Told you they missed you. Silvia was a bit more chill about it but you could tell she was happy mostly because Seokmin was happy to have you back. You’ll take it either way.

From then on everything went back to normal. Usual team meetings, usual interdepartmental meetings, usual lunch with everyone. After three weeks, it felt like you had never left. Seungkwan was a great addition to your team just like you thought. He may have not been ready for the team lead position but he was an extraordinary team member to your team.

Everything went back to what it was supposed to be. You were so happy to be back even if things with Jeonghan stayed the same. He never answered that text and never called you back and ever since you came back, he never spoke to you. You talked during meetings but about work only. He seemed to have found a good balance of being an asshole and simply accepting your teams’ proposals when they made perfect sense. Everything was going great but somehow, when you were alone in your office and at home, you still felt empty.

Right now you were in your office, looking out the window. The day has been going okay so far, you just didn’t feel good. It seems the more time passes like this between you and Jeonghan, the worse you feel every single day. 

As you were almost falling asleep in your chair staring out the window, there was a knock at your door. You asked them to come in and to your surprise, Shua walks through the door.

“May I come in and sit? Do you have a few minutes to chat, Y/N?”

“Hmm… Yeah, go ahead. Surprisingly, it’s been a slow day. What do you need to talk to me about? Is it about the Privé campaign proposal?”

“Actually it’s not work related. It’s personal” he said and you started to get nervous.

You gulped.

“Okay” was all you said.

“Look, I don’t know how your conversation went the last time you were here before you moved back but he’s been miserable since then. From what I can tell so far, you haven’t been doing much better so forgive my intrusion but what the hell happened that day?” Shua asked and you just broke down.

You started sobbing. He locked your office door and came back to you to hug you. 

You got up from the chair and you both moved to the couch in your office.

“Sorry” you said as he handed you the tissue box from your desk before sitting back down again next to you.

“I don’t know what happened. We were talking and then he just left out of nowhere. Then Sunday I asked him to meet with me so we could fix whatever misunderstanding this was and he ignored both my call and text. He hasn’t spoken to me since that day. I wanted to know what made him leave but he won’t give me the chance” you told him and you tried to stop crying.

“He told me you confessed to him and then turned him down. It didn’t make sense to me at the time but he’s sure you rejected him” Shua said and you looked back at him confused.

“I didn’t reject him, Shua. I told him no when he asked if things could go back to the way they were before with us because that’s not what I want. I… Have feelings for him. Why would I want to go back to being fuck buddies or whatever the fuck we were before?” you asked and you hoped he would understand what you meant.

“You love him and you wanted a relationship… You weren’t rejecting him, you were rejecting being fuck buddies…” he said as he looked around and scoffed.

“Love is a strong word” you told him and sighed.

“Is it though? Look at you two. You’re both miserable and for what? You should be together, Y/N. How much longer are you going to keep hurting each other?” he asked and you got offended.

“Hurting each other? He’s the one that keeps making shit decisions and not listening to me. Even when I reach out to him, he pushes me away. He’s the one constantly breaking my heart and I’m the one stupid enough to keep letting him” you said as you got up back to your desk.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound that way. I’m just tired of watching you both fight this. I know you’re tired of trying and being the one pushing but maybe you should do it one last time. Tell him what you told me and make sure he understands you can’t be the only one fighting for the two of you. That he can’t run away any time he thinks he heard something he doesn’t like”

“Is it worth it, Shua? To keep fighting? There’s always been misunderstandings between us, something always happens to break us apart. Maybe it’s a sign we just shouldn’t be together. Being with someone shouldn’t be this difficult. I know a good relationship means hard work but this is too much. I can’t keep fighting for someone who just runs away every time. Just avoids the issue and ignores me. No relationship can survive that”

“I’m a firm believer that nothing good comes easy. You have to put in the work. And I know he fucked up more than once and you’ve been the one carrying all of this but are you really going to let him go just because of this? A silly misunderstanding about him not getting you wanted a relationship? Think about it. He’s a literal man, Y/N. He needs things spelled out to him most times, specially when it comes to the person he loves most in the world. You’ve been through so much together that his mind just picks the negative and runs. It’s not your fault but if you think this relationship could be the real deal, try one more time. Tell him everything. Clearly, with no room for misunderstandings”

You nodded and he nodded back.

He got up to leave and as he was unlocking your office door and leaving he turned back.

“Just think about it, please, Y/N” he said and left.

When you got home that night, it was all you could think about. 

You wish you could ask someone. You had never told anyone about you and Jeonghan so you didn’t have anyone to talk to about this and share their opinion. You didn’t know if you should either. This is a decision you need to make by yourself. 

You spent the night thinking it over and you decided it was time to be brave and grow up. You wouldn’t do this through text or call. Tomorrow morning you were going straight to his office and you’re going to lay your cards on the table. You’re going to tell him what an asshole he is and that this is his last chance. If he wants it, he’ll have to put in the work from now on. No more running. No more ignoring you. Open communication or it’s not even worth starting anything back up between the two of you.

You couldn’t sleep very well. You woke up nervous and angry. You rushed to the office so you could be there early and talk to him before the day started. But of course, nothing ever goes to plan when it comes to Jeonghan, and your manager called you in to talk about the new accounts that were joining the company and what you and your team should expect from them. 

By the time you and your manager were done with that small meeting, everyone was already in the office and working hard. Shit. Should you do this now or later? Fuck it, you need this to be over with. You can’t suffer like this anymore.

You went to his office and of course, the first thing you are greeted with is Hana with her paws all over him, twirling his tie in her hand and laughing. He looked bored. He was leaning against his desk. He still let her do it though and you were beyond angry. 

You knocked on his open door and cleared your throat. 

He looked up and when he saw it was you, he gulped and tried moving away from Hana.

“Can’t you see we’re busy?” Hana asked you with disdain. 

You’re being tested. ‘Please, do not choose murder, please. Stay calm’ you told yourself as you walked in his office towards them.

“Hands off and fuck off, Hana. Don’t you have work to do? As far as I know this is a fucking office so act professional and not like a hormonal teenager or I’ll report you to your team lead and to HR” you told her and she gasped. 

Jeonghan just kept looking between the two of you and removed his tie from her hand.

“Jeonghan, say something!” she said as she turned to him and crossed her arms.

You looked at Jeonghan with a tilted head and raised your eyebrows.

“Get out, Hana. Go back to work. You shouldn’t have been here in the first place” he told her as he finally moved away from her completely and sat down on his desk chair.

She scoffed, flipped her hair, looked you up and down and finally left.

You closed his office door behind her and turned back to him.

“Am I just going to have to see that forever or do you plan on telling her to stop it anytime soon? I guess old habits die hard, huh?” you asked as you sat down in front of him.

“I’m sorry” was all he told you.

“Getting fucking sick of hearing that. I need to talk to you and you seem to ignore me through text and phone calls and even around here so you left me no choice. Do you have time now or do you want me to leave?” you asked and he stayed silent.

“Just know that if you tell me to leave, it will be the last fucking time I’ll give you the chance to push me away, so choose wisely” you continued and waited for his answer.

He continued to stay silent.

So be it.

You got up and started to leave his office.

“Stop, please. I’m sorry. Stay. Yes. Let’s talk” he said as he grabbed your hand and pulled you back, closer to him.

“I’m going to make this simple. Joshua talked to me yesterday. He told me you said I rejected you. You really need to start listening to what I say, Jeonghan. I didn’t reject you or your feelings. What I told you was that I did not want to go back to being fuck buddies. I wanted more for us. But you didn’t let me say that. You just got up and left with an assumption that I was rejecting you” you said and you could see the cogs starting to turn in his brain. He was realizing he had fucked up yet again.

“And because I was confused and didn’t understand why you left the way you did, I reached out to you. I wanted to talk it over before I left. I wanted to make everything clear between us and you ignored me again. I waited for you in my home and you didn’t even text back. That really fucking hurt” you continued and you started to cry now.

“You know that weekend I had already been given a choice to either stay there or come back here. After what happened with us, after you broke my heart again, I almost stayed there. But I chose to come back because I was always happier here. Whatever was going on with us, I couldn’t let that stop me so I came back. And you didn’t give a shit. You were the first to leave the meeting and you haven’t spoken a word to me in weeks”

You were getting angrier now. He needed to understand this was his absolute last chance and you were going to make sure you got through to him.

“When Shua talked to me yesterday, he said I should try one more time. Telling you everything clearly so that were no more misunderstandings. I didn’t want to. I can’t be the only one fighting and pushing through the misunderstandings. We can’t keep having these misunderstandings. I deserve better than getting hurt all the time because you won’t talk to me. You just run and ignore the issue and break both of our hearts. You need to choose, Jeonghan. Either you start taking responsibility and we start a mature relationship where we talk to each other about everything that is bothering us or maybe, if you don’t think it’s worth it or you’re not strong enough, we just end everything now. Completely. We’ll be nothing more than coworkers”

This was it. 

You were done.

He had all the information he needed to make his choice. 

No more ambiguity, no more uncertainty. He needed to choose to either fight for your relationship and stop being scared or let you go.

“You don’t have to answer me right now but--”

He stopped you from talking by kissing you. 

His hands were holding your face as he kissed you and you kissed him right back.

You missed him so much. He was such an asshole for torturing you both.

He backed you both up against the back wall of his office and he kept kissing you hard. 

You stayed like that for a while. Until your phone started to ring in your pocket.

It was Hoshi. He probably couldn’t find you and he needed you. 

“I need to go” you whispered against his lips and he kissed you again.

You started laughing.

“Seriously, I have to go. That’s a yes on the relationship then?” you asked, still holding him.

“Fuck yes, absolutely. I will never let you down again, that’s a fucking promise, angel”

“It better be. Let’s take it slow, yeah? I know that’s a bit of a cliché but I want us to start fresh. Going on dates, getting to know each other. Since we’re both hopeless romantics after all” you said and you both smiled.

“Anything you want, angel”

You left his office and met with Hoshi who was freaking out about something Seungkwan had said. These two will drive you insane but nothing matters right now. All you can think about is Jeonghan. You wondered how things were going to progress between you two from now on.

After a few weeks, you and Jeonghan were doing great. He started by leaving you coffee on your desk every morning with a note and he always checked on you during the day. You had lunch together every day (with your teams but still) and he took you out on dates almost every day. 

It may have been too much for some people but you wanted to spend as much time with him as possible and he felt the same. You had dinner together almost every day and you spent the weekends together. You had gone to amusement parks, gone on hikes, you had picnics by the river and so many other good things. 

You were slowly getting to know each other and your feelings for him were growing more and more every day. You hoped he felt the same way. 

You had been honest with each other about everything. You told him you needed him to put a stop to Hana following him around and being all over him. It made you uncomfortable and he agreed that was a door he needed to close permanently for both of you but also for Hana’s sake. So she could move on. He always talked to you every time he felt insecure or scared and you helped him through it. Your dynamic stayed the same. Always challenging each other and being snarky but you both loved it that way.

You had even met each others’ families already. It was funny watching your families react to you and him dating. You both talked so much shit about each other to your families that everyone was confused when you told them. His sister seemed to be the only one that knew this was exactly how you and him were going to end up.

There were a few things you haven’t done so far. You haven’t told anyone in the office, well except Shua and Seungcheol. And, you haven’t slept together yet. It just didn’t happen. You had been so focused on doing things right and getting to know him that that part hadn’t really been on your mind too much. You already knew that side of him and sure, you missed it but you didn’t want to rush anything. He seemed to feel the same way since he hadn’t made any moves towards that at all. You also haven’t told each other those three words. You wanted to. You knew you loved him. It was clear. It had been clear for a while but you were still scared about that. He hasn’t said them either which has surprised you so far but you understand. He’s probably just as scared as you are.

Next Friday was the regularly scheduled end of quarter party at your company. It was at the usual place, at the usual time and you wanted to be able to enjoy it with Jeonghan but the office still doesn’t know so you decided to ask him about it.

You went to his office during the day and brought it up.

“I was thinking… Maybe we can tell people… In the office… I wanted to go with you to the party and I can’t do that if we keep hiding this…”

“I would like that very much. I’ve wanted to do that since day one, angel”

You smiled and kissed him.

He pulled you closer to stand between his legs and you made a bolder move and straddled him on his desk chair while you kept kissing.

He pulled away from you and held your face with his hands. You moved to kiss him again and he laughed and stopped you.

“Hey… Look at me, angel…” 

You stared into his eyes deeply.

“I love you, Y/N” he said and he gulped. He was nervous. It was the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your fucking life. You smiled hard.

“I love you too, Jeonghan”

He smiled just as hard as you and he started to kiss you again. Hard. One of his hands had now moved to your ass and he was pushing you on his cock. He was hard. You telling him you loved him back got him hard. That was fucking hot.

Your kiss started to get more and more heated but neither of you could stop. Not now knowing that you loved each other. Finally hearing it from each others lips was the last straw and you got reminded of how much you missed fucking him. You could feel how desperate he was for you too and you both just couldn’t stop what was happening, neither did you want to.

“Y/N, we need your approval on this. Can you--”

Hoshi and your team barged into Jeonghan’s office and you jumped away from Jeonghan so fast. But not fast enough. Jeonghan started laughing and moving his chair towards his desk to cover his very prominent boner.

You were all silent. Hoshi, Seokmin and Seungkwan looked horrified while Clara and Sunny were smirking behind them.

“Hey, what’s going on? Why is everyone just standing here?” Joshua asked as he walked by Jeonghan’s office and saw the crowd.

He looked into the office and immediately realized you two had been caught red-handed. 

“Oh… You should really lock your doors, guys” he said as he laughed and Jeonghan laughed with him. You affectionately slapped his shoulder for him to stop.

“I need to go wash my eyes” Hoshi said but didn’t move.

“I knew it! I mean I didn’t know it but very nice, Y/N. We have to talk” Clara added and Sunny laughed and nodded.

You rolled your eyes and smiled.

“This isn’t how I wanted you to find out. We were actually going to tell you about it today” you said.

“Before or after you defiled his office?” Seokmin asked you and everyone laughed.

“Definitely after” Jeonghan answered and you were ready to kick his ass.

“Come on, let’s get back to work. We can talk about it later” you said and started to leave. You gestured at your team to follow you.

“Oh we’re talking now, screw work” Sunny said and everyone agreed.

“This is why I didn’t tell you sooner” you added and they all laughed.

You told them the truth about everything with you and Jeonghan. Except what Clara and Sunny wanted to know. That, you didn’t say shit about. They were not happy about it. 

Nothing changed from then on out. Everyone knew but it didn’t change any dynamic. Just some added jokes about you two angry fucking each other after your usual disagreements at interdepartmental meetings. 

You also informed HR about your relationship and followed all the right steps. Soon enough, everyone at the office knew. Most people were surprised but nice about it. There were a few that were angry and doing their best to ruin your relationship either by creating rumors or trying to get in between you two. Hana and Jackson. Jackson was being an asshole but he wasn’t pushing anyones boundaries or creating issues. Hana on the other hand, was trying her best to ruin this for you two.

She started rumors about him still fucking her. She constantly tried to touch him and follow him around. It was frustrating but all you could do was report her to HR and move on. It had only been a few days but she was working hard trying to break you two up. It didn’t matter. You trusted Jeonghan and he always stopped her and her rumors whenever he heard them. You two agreed she would eventually stop. This was still fresh to everyone and she needed to get it out of her system. 

You and Jeonghan were really good now and nothing she could do would change that.

Friday came fast and you were excited. This quarter was a rollercoaster but you were happy to be back here at this branch with the people you loved, in your home that you loved so much as well.

Jeonghan joined you and Clara in the Uber and you met up with everyone there.

You sat at the same table you had last time, with the same people, but so much has changed. 

This time around, you were in love with the one you claimed to hate before. You were here with him and you were going to enjoy this completely. 

Everyone was drinking and having fun. Dinner and the awards started and it was just as fun as you remembered. You had gone to a few end of quarter parties at the other branch and you never had this much fun. This was the best. This was where you belonged. With these people. With this team. With him. You were so happy right now, words couldn’t begin to explain it.

The awards had just ended and they were getting ready for the DJ set to start and you decided to get a refill on your drink. 

When you came back to the table, Jeonghan wasn’t there. You checked your phone just in case and he had texted you.

“Join me. You know where”

You smiled and got up to go meet Jeonghan in the room you first started this whole thing in.

You walked in and locked the door behind you.

Jeonghan was sitting on the sofa by the window that you sat on last time. He was in the dark again, just like last time. 

You walked towards him and sat down on the opposite end of the sofa, looking out the window.

He looked at you and you smiled still staring at the window.

“Getting sentimental, baby?” you asked, still looking out the window.

“Hopeless romantic. Remember, angel?” he asked and you laughed.

You looked at him and you stayed there looking at each other silently for a while until he sat up.

“Come closer, angel. You’re too far away from me”

You moved closer to him. As close as you could. He pushed your hair behind your ear and kissed you. Softly. Like he was scared you were going to break. This felt different. He was trying to show you in actions how he felt about you. You kissed him back and held his free hand in yours.

He started to deepen the kiss and you let him. 

You moved to lay down and pulled him with you. 

He was on top of you kissing you and you locked your legs around his waist. 

You were already wet and he was hard. It had been too long since you had been together like this. You were being desperate for him and you knew he felt the same.

You reached down and started stroking his cock through his clothes and he whined.

“Don’t play with me, angel” he told you as he stopped kissing you.

You continued to stroke him through his clothes and he was panting and moaning into your mouth. You bit your lip. He was so sexy. You were losing your mind.

He pulled your hand away from his cock and pushed your dress up your body. 

Jeonghan took your panties off and put them in his jacket pocket. From his other jacked pocket, he took out a condom and threw his jacket on the floor. 

He moved down and kissed your thighs and your mound. Close to where you wanted him but not quite there. After a while of this, he started to leave bruises on your thighs. Fuck, you were wetter and wetter.

“I can see you clenching around nothing, angel. Are you that desperate for me?”

“Yes… Hannie, please… No more waiting…” you told him breathlessly.

“Fuck…”

He got up from the sofa and took his pants and underwear off. He moved back to the sofa and started fingering you slowly. He kept kissing your neck and all you did was moan and run your hands through his hair. He started scissoring his fingers inside you. He was impatient and you both knew it had been a while. He wanted to be inside you now and he needed to make sure he wasn’t going to hurt you.

“I love you” you moaned.

He stopped kissing your neck and kissed your lips deeply again. More forceful this time around.

He pulled away.

“I love you too, Y/N” 

He put the condom on and started to tease your hole with his cock.

You whined.

“I don’t want to hurt you, angel. It’s been a while. Let me know if it’s too much, yeah?”

“Just get inside me, please… You’re driving me crazy, Hannie”

“Will you be a good angel for me then?” 

“Always” you moaned and he pushed the head of his cock inside of you. 

He was going slow. Rubbing circles on your clit, kissing you and with every stroke he pushed more of his cock inside you.

You started getting louder as he got deeper inside you.

“Not gonna gag me this time?” you asked and he laughed.

He moved closer to your lips.

“Let them hear it” he whispered and you both laughed together.

You pulled him down for a kiss and he pushed his cock all the way in until he bottomed out. You were moaning together against each other's lips.

After a few seconds, he started his pace.

Short, deep strokes, hitting the right spot. He knew your body so well. He still remembered exactly what to do to drive you crazy. 

You were both loud. Moaning and panting. Not giving a shit about anyone outside of that room.

He grabbed one of your hands and interlaced it with his.

He kept fucking you hard and whispering how much he loved you. You whispered  and moaned it back to him.

You were both close and you knew it.

He increased the pace of his fingers on your clit and increased the pace of his strokes as well. 

You started squeezing his cock and you could feel yourself closer and closer.

Jeonghan squeezed your hand and moved to whisper in your ear.

He told you he loved you but when he said he would never let you go again, it pushed you over the edge and you came. Hard. It felt different this time. More tangible. Stronger. 

When you came down from your high, his strokes were slower and he was looking in your eyes. 

You pulled him in to lay on top of you and held him impossibly close.

Much like he did to you, you whispered in his ear and told him how much you loved him. That you wanted to be in his arms forever. And he emptied himself into the condom with a moan of your name.

This time around you laid there together. Just holding each other.

There was no rush. No weirdness. Just two people that loved each other and had finally found their way back to each other.

You didn’t know what was going to happen in the future. 

You knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Nothing ever is with Jeonghan. But it certainly is worth it.

As you lay there with him you start thinking about the day you left. 

About how you thought you were both just passing through each other's lives. 

 At that time it seemed that way.

He was just a boy creating chaos in your life for a while and you were just a girl that left and used your career as an excuse.

Now you know how wrong you were. How sad and miserable your life would have been without him in it. Without him with you. Just like this. Every day.

You know that from now on, you weren’t just another person passing through each other’s lives. You were everything in each other’s lives. You were both where you belonged.

With each other. Always together, and never to be apart again.

IT’S FINALLY HERE AND IT’S A MONSTER AGAIN Another rollercoaster of emotions 😭 I hope you love this as much as I loved writing it 💕 As usual, please let me know in the comments and such if you enjoyed reading it <3  Thank you for supporting me! Happy holidays! 🎆 CHEERS 🥂

Taglist (if you requested specifically): @woofie-nctzen-fanarts, @lovrchl, @lockburn-castle, @luchiet, @deeznutzaintnutting, @cheesytangerine, @avocifera, @odetoyeonjun, @listxn, @gyubbgist, @cvpidxo, @leicy0756, @sunflowergyeomie, @whore4stucky9104, @bangtanskz, @cecefarm, @staurdvst, @haahydvhkmhhn, @tsukkisdoll, @miniseokminnies, @namjinsworld

[killergee]

Part 3! Sorry for the late update, but here's the last part, my friends. I had no idea what to do, so I fell into a good old trope. Slight nsfw, but it’s mainly just Hoshina and his dirty mind, hehe. Oh, and some kissing.

Summary: Angry, frustrated, jealous, and trapped in an elevator. Who will crack first?

P1 P2 P3

Tagslist: @surprisemodafakas @yrxhyes @voidsatoru @vash-yuu @er0ssu @rosesandquartzz

---------------------------

Hoshina knew he was the only one at fault for testing his own patience, but God was he so sure he was going to explode if things continued like this.

He wanted you to be the one to take the final step and cross the distance. He wanted to see you want him like you said you did so many months ago. To see that passion for him once again.

That didn’t mean he waited around for you to confess, though. No, he didn’t hold back when it came to you.

If anything, he became greedy when it came to you.

Hoshina didn't know how he survived before, now knowing what your touch felt like. It felt like fire on his skin. One that left a burning desire that he only knew to quell by grasping at you for more. Yet, even then, it wasn't enough. You always left him wanting more. You left him clinging to what was left of his sensibilities to not take you there and then. Hoshina thinks he must be a masochist because of how he kept pushing for more, knowing you'll reject him or that he'll have to stop himself before he goes too far and ruins everything.

Yet, when you did accept his affections, the feeling was unparalleled. When you did reciprocate, it made him feel butterflies in his stomach. It made him feel a different type of warmth, a different sense of fulfillment. One that told him it was worth it to keep trying.

So, he gave in to his desires again and again and again. As long as he doesn't straight-up confess, he still has a shot at making you take action. Right?

Hoshina groans as he finishes another one of his reports. Mina has been working him to the bone lately. Taking him out of sessions to work on mission plans, interrupting him mid lunch to accompany her to meetings, even going as far as interrupting his midnight training sessions with you to ask for his opinion on the production of a new weapon. Hoshina swears he’s barely seen you for the last two weeks because of this. To say he was a bit annoyed would be an understatement. Especially since because of his busy nature, Mina delegated his tasks to you to handle. Tasks that included working with his unit.

Now, this normally wouldn’t be a problem if Kafka hadn’t taken such a liking to you. Hoshina should’ve known Kafka would like you after he overheard your conversation with him the first time. While trapped in his office, it takes all his efforts to not jump out the window and tell Kafka to take a step back from you. He didn’t know if it was the exhaustion, stress, or withdrawal from your presence, but he felt absurdly angry at seeing you being so friendly with Kafka. Hell, even seeing you laughing with his unit left a bitter taste in his mouth.

While you and his unit seemed to be getting closer, you and Hoshina haven’t made any progress at all since that night. Hoshina felt frustrated on so many different levels and mixed with the pressure to not disappoint his superior, Hoshina was so wired he could barely sit still. He nearly snapped his pen in half just thinking about it.

He either needed to train or fuck this out of his system.

He couldn’t concentrate on anything. The words on the paper in front of him were starting to blur, and he was seconds away from writing “because this is stupid” as his rationale for rejecting proposals.

Looking up at the clock and seeing the hand tick closer to 2am, he groans into his hands and decides that the responsible choice would be to go to sleep and pray that tomorrow never came.

Putting on his jacket, he barely gives his desk a second glance as he leaves to lock the office door. Once in the elevator, he pushes the button to the fourth floor and immediately slumps against the railing on the wall of the elevator. With his hundredth sigh of the day, he tries to think on the brighter side. Since no one would be up at this god forsaken hour, he didn’t need to wait for the elevator to open on every floor.

When the elevator stops, Hoshina rolls his eyes at his luck. Looking up at the ceiling and exhaling, he doesn’t bother to acknowledge the person entering the elevator.

It wasn’t until he heard the familiar click of your tongue does he snap his head down to see you standing beside him.

There you were.

Standing with your arms crossed and staring at the doors of the elevator as if they’ve wronged you. The object of his affections and his frustrations. The person he was craving most at the moment.

Seeing you in the flesh again, skin pink probably from showering, shirt unbuttoned a little too low combined with the scent of your faded shampoo wafting through the elevator…

Fuck it, the training room will have to do, Hoshina decides, quickly leaning forward to press the button to the second floor. He can feel the weird look you’re giving him, but he decides for both of your sakes he’s going to keep looking at the doors. God, he couldn’t believe your presence alone was doing it for him. He needed out now.

But, unfortunately for him, the world continued to ignore his wishes. With a slight tremble, the elevator slows in its tracks until it abruptly stops. Not being able to believe his luck, it wasn’t until the lights began to dim that he lets out a curse.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he hears you say as you immediately dig into your pocket to get your phone. Pressing the help button on the elevator, he waits for you to finish your call with security. With the way you were scowling, he knew the news couldn’t be good. With it also being so late, he doubts anyone would come rescue you guys any time soon.

“Yea sure, we can have super suits and high-tech weapons, but god forbid we have a working elevator” you mumble sarcastically after hanging up the phone. Barely looking at him, you announce, “they said they’ll have it fixed within an hour.”

“That’s fucking great,” Hoshina groans, massaging his temples with one hand as he curses whatever god fucking with him right now. Finally turning to look at you, he notices how far you were from him. You were practically squishing yourself into the corner of the elevator to distance yourself. With the night taking away his patience, he comments without any restraint. "Now what’s got ya so pissed off?”

You turn to glare at him. “Excuse me?”

“I said what’s got ya so mad ya can’t even stand to be in the same space as me,” Hoshina scoffs, adding fuel to the flames. “Scared I got cooties? A little too late for that, I’m sure.”

“You’re unbelievable.” You hiss, anger rolling off you. The piercing glare you sent his way satisfied him in a twisted way he couldn’t understand. He’ll blame the adrenaline and the frustration.

“What are you even doing here so late? Ah, sneaking out from the Captain’s room, I’m sure." You spit venomously, mocking his phrasing. "Wasn’t satisfied enough, so you’re coming to me?”

“Now what the hell are ya going on about?”

Your eyes narrow a fraction more. “Oh sorry, Vice-Captain. Did I hit a nerve? Sad that the Captain didn’t like you enough to let you stay the night?”

“You’re being ridiculous, you’re lucky no one else is here to hear you say that. If ya weren’t you, I’d have you punished for talking about Min- Captain Ashiro like that.” Shit, he was losing his grip.

You let out a hollow chuckle devoid of any humour. “No, no, you don’t need to correct yourself like that in front of me, Vice-Captain. I won’t tell anyone,” you say, drawing out the syllables of his title.

“Don’t call me that, y/n,” he growls. “Nothing is going on betwe-”

“You think I’m fucking stupid? Everything you’ve done to me. The late night training sessions, 'working' together on reports, having lunch together, everything that we’ve done together you’re now off doing it with her.” You continue, your voice getting more heated with every word. “Her interrupting us again and again, you think I can’t take a fucking hint? I know my place now, so you don’t need to worry about anything.”  

“Y/n, it’s nothing like that. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t b-”

His explanation falls on deaf ears as you continue your angry rant. “You know what? Kafka was right.”

Heart stopping, the flash of heat Hoshina felt throughout his body broke the dam holding the last bits of his sanity. “What’s Kafka got to do with anything?”

“Kafka noticed how you two were always together for the last couple of weeks. I told him it was nothing, but I guess I owe him an apology. I’d hate to see the look on his face when I tell him.”

“Ya seriously trusting Kafka over me?”

“I mean, why not? He’s trustworthy, he’s kind, he’s reliable-”

Hoshina lets out a hostile scoff, “Oh, and I’m not?”

“He’s never touched me and then gone off and-”

“He’s never what?” Hoshina pushes off the wall, making his way into your corner. “He better not touch you the way I do. And even if he did," his eyes gleam in a dangerous manner, "he'll never be able to make you feel the way I make you feel.”

Hoshina's tone is strong and sure. “Stop talking about that damn brat and listen. Nothing is going on between me and the Captain. I do not like her like that and I can promise you I never will.”

The sincerity in his eyes makes you hesitate. But you need his words. You need solid proof that he feels the same need for you that you do for him—so you push on anyway. “How can I be sure? How can I trust you?”

Not one to backdown, you meet him in the middle before he could completely corner you. With your finger to his chest, Hoshina takes a step back. His attempt to put space between you doesn't deter you as you push forward. In fact, it emboldens you to press on until his back hits the wall and your as nose to nose as you possibly can with your height difference.

Hoshina couldn’t think straight. The only thing he hears from you is jealousy, and it's going straight down to his dick. The feel of your body on his, the heat of the argument, the intensity of your glare, he was about to snap. "Please don't do that," Hoshina hisses.

“Where’s all the heat from before? Answer my question."

"Y/n." 

The sternness of his voice makes you falter. 

His hands raise slightly in a sign of surrender. "Don't touch me if you're not willing to take responsibility for your actions." He says in a teasing voice, but even you could hear the strain in them. 

“What are you talking about.”

“If ya touch me now, I can’t promise ya that I’ll be a gentleman about it.” As if warning you about what's to come, Hoshina brings his hands down onto your hips, pulling you close until your hips press against his. His actions evoke a different kind of heat than your argument.

“How could I ever want anyone else when you’re the only one who’s always on my mind. You think everything I’ve done to ya up to this point was casual? That I was only teasing ya for fun?”

“Ya want proof? Fine.” He brings your hand to rest over his chest, his heart beating wildly at your touch. To lay it all down on the table, to bare his soul to you, he'll do it all if it means even the slightest chance you'll accept him.

"Tell me to stop and I will. Tell me to move away, to not touch you, to not love you, and I will never bother you again." He grits through his teeth. "God, tell me now so I can stop myself before it's too late." Maybe it already was, but he won't tell you that. 

At your silence, his heart plummets. Hoshina lets go of your hand. “Sorry-”

"Kiss me, asshole." 

"I- what?"

"Fine, I'll do it myself." You grab the back of his head and pull him towards you, lips crashing into his in a passionate fury.

After a beat, Hoshina hungrily returns your passion. His hands back onto your body with a fervor. The kiss was heated. It tasted like frustration, anger, jealousy and want. It was exhilarating and intoxicating and Hoshina didn’t want it to end.

Breaking the kiss for air, the intensity of your gaze sends a delightful shiver up his spine. "You drive me insane, you know that? Getting off on teasing me and then trynna back away when you finally got the chance to do something, to do anything. Do I need to spell it out for you? I want you. I want you all for myself." you say, grabbing a handful of his hair with a strength that was bordering the line between painful and amazing. 

"Take responsibility? Talk about your fucking self. You've ruined me for anyone else. Do something about it."

“Yes ma’am.” Without hesitation, Hoshina dives back in for a kiss, and all that could be felt was lips on lips and the sting of teeth.

Hands grasping at every inch of your skin, he turns you and pushes you against the wall of the elevator. Lips moving from yours to your neck, his hand hungrily tugs at the top of your shirt. Unable to control his strength, the button pops, but your gasp is replaced by a moan as he bites into the expanse of your neck.

Motivated by the sounds you make, Hoshina snakes his arm behind your back—pressing your body against his in an almost suffocating manner. Blinded by his eagerness, he didn’t notice the lights turning back on and the elevator running again. It's not until the doors ding open, and you push him away does he finally come back to his senses.

Moving away from him, you use your hand to clasp at the top of your shirt—trying to replicate the security of the button he ripped off. You have half the mind to yell at him, but the smugness in his smile makes you bite the inside of your cheek. Satisfaction reeked from his body, and his cat-like eyes raking over yours made your knees weak.

The next time the doors open, he takes your hand in his and leads you out. "This isn't my floor," you say face flushed as you knew where he was heading.

"Yep, it's mine," he replies with uncontainable excitement.

He turns his head to glance back at you. “If I knew all it took for ya to confess was to trap ya in an elevator with me, I would’ve done this much sooner.” Hoshina says with a cheeky grin, hand gripping yours in a way that said you weren’t leaving him any time soon.

You roll your eyes, but you continue to follow him anyways. A small smile tugs at your lips.

“You’re unbelievable.”

[neptuneschldd]

Difficult Placements in the Natal Chart.❤️‍🩹🖤

small disclaimer; none of these placements listed are depicted as bad or evil placements, these are areas in a chart that require more attention to and tell more about a much more darker/struggling side about the individual.

Sun in 8H/6H/12H. These individuals may take on the heavier parts of life rather than having things come easy to them. These individuals have a possibility of having a distorted self-image, they may not even know exactly who they are and may bc hidden from the spotlight. These individuals are resilient and often work hard in secret, they’re the type that don’t trust anyone and sometimes not even themselves, they can be critical on themselves. Additionally these individuals may have a struggling or complex relationship with father/make figures.

However in maturer years they learn to go with the flow of things, and find peace even in difficult moments.

Along with this, mainly any personal placements within the 8H/12H. These individuals at a young age are shown to the tougher sides of lives, they experience a lot and hold lots of knowledge even at young ages about various things from their own personal experiences. They have a heightened awareness and deeper understanding of the things around them. Wise yet unheard, often very misunderstood individuals. They benefit from expressing their emotions verbally or even through art or their desired professions.

Lilith at 18°. These individuals suppress their shadow side and several traits that make them, them. These individuals are strong beings yet are often underestimated by others because of how much they suppress themselves. These individuals should work more on their inner beings (ie. shadow work) to appreciate the different sides of themselves.

Jupiter 3H. These individuals in early life may lack when it comes to communication skills, they often hold themselves back from their full potential. Once they get out of this they can amass huge amounts of success, they grow when going out of their comfort zones and communicating with others.

Sun/Moon-Pluto Asp. (Esp. conjunction). These individuals are powerful people, seriously. However, they often have complications with their image (Sun) or their emotions (Moon), they can. They tend to have inner turmoil that they usually hide effortlessly, their issues may fluctuate and they’re always experiencing new things every month, they often can’t catch a break.

Sun-Chiron. These individuals have serious issues with their images, often dealing with power struggles in younger years. As they get older they may have felt like they spent an eternity trying to figure themselves out yet still haven’t made any progress (I promise its okay🫂). Once these individuals accept their past experiences and grow their confidence and work on themselves, they’re truly unstoppable.

Chiron in Aquarius/Leo/Gemini or in 11H/3H. These individuals may have struggled in the past or have a common theme in their lives relating to their self expression. May have been force to hide their true selves and conform to societies standards. They may have been treated as the odd “black sheep” or the outcast in groups/family. Misunderstood however as they get older they learn to shine a lot better and it comes almost effortlessly.

Moon-Mars/Mercury Negative aspects. These individuals may struggle with emotions. They may spiral out of control and express things that they don’t actually mean. They often don’t know how to properly express negative feelings and people may see them as too much. They find it hard to put their thoughts into words. They often need to journal out their feelings, even talking to people anonymously may benefit even possibly therapy.

Jupiter/Moon-Neptune negative aspects. These individuals are more likely to highly depend on daydreaming as means of escape. They may even resort or become highly co-dependent on false depictions of love, substances, etc. With these individuals there’s like a huge storm cloud that’s constantly covering up the beauty of a scenery. They may overindulge in materialistic things and are likely to maladaptive daydream or technology. These individuals should spend more time away from material things, or do small activities that keeps their mind stable and working.

Neptune/Pluto in 11H. These individuals constantly are blinded by their surroundings and their enemies tend to hide in plain sight. They’re more likely to fall susceptible to the evil eye, and attract envy a lot from others. They may be delusional when it comes to friendships, and not notice that the people they call their “friends” are actually trying to tear down their energy. These individuals are also likely to absorb a lot of negativity from others and can often feel drained easily from being around people. They benefit from becoming more aware of the people around them, perhaps having a form of protection near them and watch carefully who they let in their vicinity.

Uranus 12H. Similar to an Aquarius Chiron imo, these individuals suppress who they are from others. They have a subconscious fear that often holds them back from expressing their unique side completely. They benefit and notice good change when they be their authentic selves rather than conforming to society because they truly are one-of-a-kind individuals 🖤.

Saturn in the 1H/5H/7H/11H/8H. These individuals often restrict themselves from the pleasures of life, they can’t have fun and often are overly critical of themselves. These individuals are highly reflective people and often have trust issues, they overanalyze people and themselves throughout their lives. These individuals need to learn to let go of the harsh standard they hold themselves and other people to, they can’t change things that are out of their control and should learn to relax and live life, these individuals will find fulfillment when they finally let go.

Virgo Moon. These individuals may have grown being overly criticized, they also may have had a critical mother and often take onto these traits into their adulthood. These individuals are the type to work hard and don’t give themselves any time relax at all, they are genuine people yet most people often misunderstand them as controlling or too serious.

Mars/Mercury in Pisces/12H. These individuals may have a lot of suppressed feelings, they often don’t express how they truly feel and perhaps people around them often made them feel that they shouldn’t show their emotions. These individuals can even be explosive at times, they need to learn to control their emotions.

Saturn Square Venus. These individuals not only struggle in relationships but often struggle with themselves and their self-love, these individuals restrict themselves and often have a closed minded approach when it comes to love, either this or they don’t receive much opportunity to experience it. These individuals are pushed to find love within themselves without the dependency of someone else.

——————————————————-❤️‍🩹

That’s all for now, please comment if there’s any other things that can be added. And if you have any of these placements listed here’s a hug 🫂!

-neptune. ❤️‍🩹

[hellfire--cult]

Edit of Eddie: pitifulbaby

Chapters: Masterlist (Go here to see list of chapters, plotline and general warnings.)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Non-Traditional Omegaverse, Slow burn, Modern!AU, Mechanic!Eddie

⚠️18+: sexual tension, slight drinking, pining, smut. yes. smut. loads of it. i won't spoil it, but yes, everything. (no omegaverse)

wc: 16K

A/N: roe finished a new chapter of baring teeth and it didnt take her 6 months? lets call that progress! i hope yall enjoy this one...

Anyways, Enjoy! ❤️ And don't forget to always support me by hitting the reblog button or leave a comment!

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CHAPTER 17

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

You are dying. You are absolutely certain you are fucking dying. You were regaining consciousness and you wanted anything but that. Why be alive when you feel like this? Your stomach is messed up, your head is banging tremendously and you feel as if a bulldozer ran over your entire body.

You mustered a small whine, and you tried to stretch your limbs but everything was painful. Everything hurt and you wondered what you did to deserve to feel like this. Well, you could not have drank as much as you did the day before, so maybe you do deserve it a little for not having any self-control. 

You didn’t want to open your eyes. 

You could already feel the light burning your pupils through your eyelids. It was an orange hue, and you couldn’t manage to even open a bit of your eye. You just want to rot in bed until you actually die. What impulsed you to drink that much yesterday? And how did you even get home? How did you manage to get in bed if you knew you couldn’t stand by yourself?

You whimpered in pain as you tossed on the bed. You could smell the smoke of the club on you, probably still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. You could feel the tightness of the shirt and the elastic of the pants. You could also smell cologne, one that is quite familiar if you had to be honest. It was wooden, kind of, but it was very penetrating.

You whined this time as you received another pang on your head, the more conscious you became, the more you were aware of your headache. The more your stomach turns. The more you grew uncomfortable in every position you turned, making your distressed noises louder.

“Can you shut the fuck up?”

Now, that made the headache leave for just a second because your eyes snapped open like plates as you lay on your side. And there, looking at his profile, was Eddie, with an arm over his eyes in order to cover them. Your heart stopped completely, and then you could hear the blood rushing to your face, to your ears, even behind your eyes. 

You, where were you? Why is Eddie next to you? Why is he here? Why? Oh, god. Did you two… Oh fuck, oh no, you would remember it, wouldn’t you? You definitely would… But what if you didn’t?

You felt a cold sweat invade your body as you quickly sat up on the bed, opening your mouth to talk, but the sudden movement was a bad idea, because as soon as you did it, your stomach betrayed you. It swirled around, the nausea unbearable and soon you realized you were in Eddie’s home.

You could worry about the reason for being here later, you need to run to the bathroom, quick. You haven’t been to his room, ever, and you quickly got up from the bed, ignoring the ache that your body felt, and rushed out of the room, leaving Eddie on the bed.

He was in his own hell as well. Probably not as bad as yours, but he still felt pretty horrible. His head wasn’t the problem, it was mostly his stomach, and hearing you emptying your own on the toilet from across the hall was making it all worse. He groaned as he slowly got up from the bed, feet hitting the floor and– 

“Fuck.” Was his only response as his stomach yelled for attention. He quickly got up and rushed down the spiral steel staircase, his feet clinking and rattling it all as he rushed to the secondary bathroom below, right next to the kitchen.

You were hugging the toilet seat now, your throat burning from the intensity of the emptying of your stomach. You hated vomit. You hated to puke… But sometimes it was what your body needed, and as minutes passed and you were sure there was nothing else, you did feel slightly better. Your stomach was a bit more settled than before, not swirling as much.

You flushed the toilet, and with a groan, you got up on wobbly legs. You felt disgusting, wearing the same clothes as the night before, but you weren’t going to ask Eddie for clothes. No. What were you doing here anyways? How did you even get here?

The clothes were a clear indicator that nothing happened the night before. You can barely remember the club. The last thing you remember was the champagne you were taking, and then beer? You had flashes of dancing with Robin and Nancy, then with Steve… Why are you here with Eddie?

You looked around the bathroom, and it was dark, industrial style, just like his whole house. Black walls, or bricked, with steel and wood furniture. You walked to the sink and you almost screamed at the reflection. Your makeup was all over your face, your hair was a mess, your lips were swollen, and you’re pretty sure you had dried drool from the corner of your mouth to your ear.

You looked like a monster. You wanted to shower, you wanted to wash yourself, take everything off, and take care of the fucking headache you were suffering. You looked around and decided to open the cabinet of his mirror. You found some face lotion, and it might help with the removal of your makeup, but something else caught your attention.

A pill bottle, with Eddie’s name on it. You reached towards it, wanting to know the name of the medicine he was taking as your curiosity picked up. Your hand stopped when you heard the clinking of the stairs, signaling he was coming back up. You put a bit of lotion in your hand before putting it back inside the cabinet, closing it.

You put your hair behind your ears with the hand you had no lotion on, and then began to clean your eyes with the cream. You then rubbed it all over in rushed motions, feeling dirty all over. You turned on the water, letting it warm up as you kept rubbing the lotion into your skin. You then bent over to wash your face, rubbing your hands and taking off the cream and makeup as best as you could.

You straightened up, looked into the mirror again and rubbed underneath your bottom waterline to take the last bit of mascara off. It wasn’t completely clean, but at least it was better than before and you felt tidier. You grabbed the toothpaste and put a bit on your finger to then try to brush your teeth with it. You gurgled some water with it, making it foam in your mouth before spitting on the sink.

You wiped your mouth and you groaned as you felt the headache hit again. You looked at the door and dread came over you as you knew you had to face the owner of the house. You took a deep breath in and walked out of the bathroom and then took steps into Eddie’s room, only to find him shirtless, looking through his drawer, his back turned towards you.

Your eyes were transfixed onto the ink on his back, finally being able to see it. He had a demon, an imp, on his right shoulder and moving down, and then some kind of markings, or symbols, followed by other drawings on his other side. You couldn’t help but stare at him, your head tilted to the side as you studied him, but the panging in your head made you snap out completely. 

“Fuck…” You whimpered and that made Eddie finally turn around, tiredness in his features, his hair down. He felt his stomach turn in anticipation of seeing you after last night, wondering what conversation would be presented today.

“Morning.” You only grunted at his response as you held your head. He gave a nod as he rapidly threw a shirt over himself and then looked inside his dresser again, taking another shirt out and throwing it on the bed, as well as some pair of sweatpants on a drawer below. “Here, wear these. Yours smell like alcohol and smoke.” 

You rolled your eyes at him which only made you wince. You gave him a nod as you walked towards the clothing on the bed and he was expectantly looking at you. If you were faking you didn’t remember, you were a great actress. You were acting almost normal, but probably it was the fact you couldn’t even think. You looked horribly sick if he was being honest.

“Thanks… You have any advil? Ibuprofen? Just anything, a gun works too.” You joked with a raspy voice and he chuckled, rubbing his own head.

“Yeah, I’ll wait for you downstairs.” He left the room, going back towards the stairs to try to prepare the ibuprofen and some breakfast for the two of you. He was gonna wait until you were a little more focused, but what if you actually didn’t remember anything from yesterday night? He remembered it all. 

He remembered the way your lips felt on his, the way you were desperately eating him whole, your tongue, your taste, your scent… He remembered it all despite the haziness of the drinks. He remembered how his hands wrapped around you, gripping your body and pulling you to him. How you pressed yourself on him, moaning into his mouth and–

If he doesn’t stop thinking about it he is going to get a hard on and he won’t be able to either hide it or control himself with you here.

You looked towards the clothes on the bed, and your gut turned at the idea of wearing something of his, but the night clothes were a little too much already. The elastics were killing you and you really wanted to wear something comfortable for your headache and overall state.

You gulped as you slowly took off your clothes, wobbling a bit due to the dizziness the headache provoked. First, the top. You realized quickly that you had no bra on, the cups of the top having pads on for support. You felt heat spread on your face as you pondered on putting the shirt on or not. 

But being comfortable won over embarrassment, and you quickly put it on. A little loose, which helped with the lack of bra look. Then, you took off your pants and you felt so relieved to toss those constricting, yet really nice, pants away. You quickly put on his sweatpants, tying up the knot on the waist so they wouldn’t fall. You looked down at your bare feet and you looked around his room for the first time.

You saw pictures hanging on the wall, posters, vinyls in frames, and then a guitar. It was red, and it was certainly from the 90’s or 80’s. That must be Eddie’s most precious guitar. Then you turned towards the pictures that were on a corkboard, all pinned up. You saw him with Steve, then a picture of him with Nancy, and you smiled as you saw a picture of him in a green graduation gown, holding a diploma with his uncle next to him.

Your smile faltered a bit at seeing his uncle. He had shown you pictures of him, but never ones that were when he was completely healthy. He looked like another man. You took a deep breath in, about to look for something to wear on your feet, but then a picture caught your attention. 

It was a picture of you two. It was a picture Steve had taken while sitting in Jonathan’s bar. You were looking at eachother, drinks in hand, smiling. You felt your heart start to beat rapidly the more you looked at it because you two looked like a couple. Steve had uploaded the story on Instagram and more than one person had asked if you two were dating.

Why couldn’t they understand you two were friends?

Why can’t you understand that?

Just friends. 

You snapped out of your thoughts as you looked on the floor, seeing a pair of slippers. You put them on, giggling at the size difference, but you didn’t want to catch a cold for going barefoot on cold floors. 

You walked out of the room and headed downstairs, the clinking announcing your appearance to the man who was cooking some grilled sandwiches for the two of you. You grimaced at the smell, your stomach turning at the idea of eating something. Could you even get anything down?

“As much as I appreciate the food, I don’t think I can eat anything Munson.” You sighed as you walked towards the kitchen stools to sit at the island counter. His back was towards you, his hair up in a bun this time, much to your dismay. You shook that thought away, closing your eyes as you felt another pang of pain thanks to your headache.

He turned around and the air got knocked out of his lungs as he saw you with his clothes on. Maybe giving you something else to wear was a bad idea. It was worse than seeing you in your club clothes. Way worse. He felt heat run all over his body as he stared at you while you rubbed your temple. 

How are you able to get him riled up by just wearing his Limp Biskit shirt?

“You’re gonna eat because it will make you feel better.” He went towards his fridge to get his jar of water out, placing it on the island counter where he had already put two glasses for both of you and a pill of ibuprofen.

You immediately lunged forward, filling both glasses with water and grabbing the pill. You threw it into your mouth and chugged the entire glass in a matter of seconds, realizing how dehydrated you were. He was stunned, wide eyed, looking at your display. He already had some water and his own medicine, but he grabbed the glass either way and took a sip from it.

“Shit…” You moaned with delight at the cold liquid running down your dry throat. Eddie’s grip on his glass tightened at the sound as he quickly turned around, trying to think of anything but you. You, who was sitting in his house in his clothes and did you think that he didn’t notice you didn’t have a bra on?

He put the glass on the counter and flipped both sandwiches from the pan to the two plates he had prepared. He grabbed them and turned again to put a plate in front of you and then one for himself, sitting across. He grabbed his glass and sat down with a groan, which caught your attention.

You felt your body becoming hot as you side-eyed him. You wanted to kill him for looking so good, even with a hangover. You probably looked like a wet raccoon that was kicked multiple times out of a Chuck E. Cheese.

“So…” He started, wondering if you showed any kind of nervousness, any at all, but he didn’t see any of that, perplexing him. Just a pained face after taking the first bite of your sandwich, making him frown. “Hey, it’s not that bad.”

“It’s not, I just feel like I have a war in my stomach.” You forced yourself to eat another bite as he took a bite from his. It was silent for a second, your stomach turning in nerves as you looked at him. “How uh… How did I end up here?”

And now Eddie knew you didn’t remember shit. He couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief at the situation. You two finally crossed the line and you didn’t remember it at all. You tilted your head as an angry frown came to your eyebrows at the lack of response. He cleared his throat as he took a sip of his water and then looked at you.

“Argyle. You were too smashed to go home alone.” He stated and looked back down at his sandwich, taking another bite from it. You read his expression, noticing a certain frustration behind his tone.

“Did I… was I a burden? Did I cause trouble for you?” And he looked up at you, realizing how he came across, and shook his head, your shoulders losing the tension you didn’t know you were holding. You suddenly noticed that he had his TV on, music playing in low.

“No, you weren’t. It’s just my hangover face, Peach.” He cleared his throat as you nodded and took a bite of your sandwich, noticing the more you ate, the easier it was to gulp food down. He licked his lips as his eyes kept looking at your face. “I’m guessing you don’t remember shit from last night?”

And you rubbed your temples in embarrassment. It was all foggy. Absolutely everything. Flashes of the night coming to you, but it was just you dancing, or drinking, or grinding against Robin. 

“Not most of it, no… I drank too much. That first bucket of champagne was a mistake.” You giggled and looked up, connecting your eyes to his. He was looking at you with a serious face on, but you felt yourself sinking into the brown irises, your smile faltering as you felt those stupid butterflies in your stomach. 

There was silence between the two of you and then you heard it in the background. A song. “Pray for me” by The Weeknd started playing. 

More flashes.

Someone. You made out with someone. 

You remember the cologne.

It was the same cologne–

Your eyes widened like plates as you almost fell out of your stool, gasping as the memory became clearer the more you listened to the song. No, no, it cannot be. No, it was someone alike. Eddie only smirked as he sat back on the stool and took a slow sip of his water, realizing you had remembered.

“No… We didn’t. Right? We–”

“Made out? Yeah. Glad you could remember Peach.”

Your body froze, and your blood went cold as you sat there. You felt it draining from your body, not knowing where it was ending at, but that was the least of your problems. You started remembering it vividly.

The intensity of it, his tongue, his smell, his taste, the way he pressed himself into you, how he devoured you and you didn’t hesitate to return the favor. You slowly placed your elbows on the counter and you grabbed onto your head, running your fingers through your hair as you clenched your eyes tightly.

“Oh god…” Eddie only chuckled at your response, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

“And you were the one that came onto me. Didn’t think you’d be that bold.” He was mocking you, but the embarrassment washed over you as you remembered how you pressed your ass against him on purpose, trying to rile him up. He even warned you that you were crossing a line. 

Not only that, but you remembered that you were the one who kissed him. You were the one who made all the first moves yesterday night. All the flirting, all the innuendos. It was all you. You fucked up. You fucked it up. 

“Shut up… Goddamnit Eddie, shut up.” He grinned at your words, looking over at you as he raised his eyebrows.

“That’s the same thing you said before you kissed me–” And you slammed your hands on the counter, glaring up at him as you felt your body burning with anger, embarrassment, shame, and also arousal. You couldn’t deny how good it felt. How amazing he was. How perfectly you two molded together. 

“We’re gonna forget it happened.” That was your response, making Eddie’s smile fall completely. Were you serious? Forget it? After weeks of dancing around the line you two didn’t know if it was worth crossing? A line that was crossed already?

“Humor me. Why?” His voice was low, a bit threatening as if he was warning you to choose your words carefully. You straightened up, clearing your throat as you held your head high, showing him your word was final.

“Because… It was the alcohol. We’re friends, just that.” And oh, that made him mad. So you think you can rile him up, kiss him, give him the idea something more can happen, only to then say this? He felt played with. Even he never fell that low. He was always honest with his needs, with his wants. Girls he hooked up with and got attached, he cut them off to spare them from heartbreak. 

“Right. Friends.” He chuckled humorlessly at that, shaking his head as he looked down at his glass of water, taking a sip from it, hoping the cold drink would simmer the flames down a bit. You frowned at his response, crossing your arms over your chest.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He shook his head as he looked back at you.

“Are you always that touchy with your friends?” Your breathing stopped at his question. The air around the two of you grew tense and heavy. You felt it pushing you down onto the floor, like an elephant’s foot. He was staring at you with a piercing gaze, and you felt a shiver running down your spine as you saw how he was inspecting you.

You clenched your legs together as you moved in your stool, trying to ignore the ache that was forming between them. It was just a stupid crush, a crush that had to pass. But he couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped his lips as he stared at you, as if he had figured out something from you. 

“Maybe. I made out with Robin once.” You admitted, and honestly, you did. And Eddie knew it, he was there when it happened. A guy was not leaving Robin alone, not understanding the word no. So you did what a good friend does. Pretend you are their partner. 

“That was situational. Ours was a little different, don’t you think?” His voice was low, angry. You understood him, you truly did. You’ve been following this game of flirting with him, you are to blame for this one, but now you know that it cannot happen again. You are not satisfied with just one kiss, but nothing else can happen between you two.

You can’t lose Eddie. You are too fond of the friendship you have.

“And it won’t happen again. Like I said, I was– driven by alcohol, and you were drunk too.” You tried justifying it, and it only fueled Eddie’s irritation. He wanted to kill you right now, or rather, bend you over the counter so he could fuck your brains out until you forgot your name. Show you everything he could do to you, ruin you for everyone else.

You two were looking at eachother, the air completely charged, the sparks flying all over the place. You felt your heart beating in your throat and you saw him opening his mouth, only to then chuckle and shake his head, making you frown. 

“Right. Let’s pretend it didn’t happen.” And his gaze went back to his sandwich, finishing it in three bites. You blinked once, not expecting it. Why did you feel disappointed? He agreed with you, didn’t he? What else were you expecting? It’s not like he was gonna force you… or convince you… or punish you for what you did the night before.

You opened your mouth to talk to him again, only for a ringing to interrupt you. He looked over to his phone, answering it with one swipe. You heard Steve’s voice on the other side, making you tilt your head. You whispered to him, a frown on your eyebrows.

“Is that Steve?” Eddie shushed you with a swat of his hand, continuing to talk to his friend.

“I can’t understand shit Steve.” Again, you heard Steve on the other side, almost yelling at him. Eddie clenched his eyes as he looked up at the ceiling. “Yeah, I forgot, but I have a hangover, can you blame me?” More talking on Steve’s end as Eddie nodded. “Alright man, stop yelling at me, the ibuprofen didn’t kick in yet, and I’m a little… irritated at the moment.” A glare was sent your way and your mouth dropped in disbelief.

Why is he irritated? You were just being civil, rational, a good friend that doesn’t want to throw the friendship away for a simple fuck. Were you wrong for doing that? Were you an evil person for it? You scrunched your nose at him, anger now fueling you at his attitude and you stood up from the stool as he watched you while talking on the phone.

You walked towards the couch, seeing your shoes sitting on the side. You winced at the idea of wearing the heels again, but it was your only footwear to go home. Eddie hung up and stared at your figure as you scratched your head, not turning to look at him. He felt your irritation, as well as your nervousness, or uncertainty. He wasn’t sure. 

“I need to call a cab and go home. I just want to lay down and rot.” He wanted to go towards you and kiss you senseless again so you realized how hard it would be to forget about it. How stupid is it to even try to forget about it, like you are doing right now. Wanting to change the subject, pretending you hadn’t just remembered everything from last night.

But he understood as well. The mixed feelings of crossing a line that maybe you were afraid of doing so. He closed his eyes, coming to terms that maybe that was it. He won’t be able to taste you again, nor taste you fully. He won’t be able to know your body, to know what you like. He won’t be able to have you the way he wants to, because you value his friendship.

So, he will accept your decision.

“I’ll take you home. I have to go to Steve’s anyway.” His voice startled you, making you turn to look at him. He had to make up for his irritation from before, probably telling you some of his truth. “I get touchy when drunk too. I made out with Nancy once. Kissed Argyle on the mouth, as well as Robin. I received a punch from her though.”

You blinked at his comment, confusion and– disappointment filling your core once more. What? Wasn’t he angry before? You felt the air lose its tension, and the hotness you felt around you left, only making you yearn for it again. 

“Oh…” Is all you muttered, not knowing what else to say. He sighed, getting up from the stool, and pointing a finger at you with a serious look in his eyes.

“You though, you owe me.” You were startled by the statement, tilting your head with a squint of your eyes.

“What? Why!?” You raised your hands up in a motion of ‘What did I do?’, making him chuckle.

“Because I had to deal with your drunken ass yesterday. I couldn’t leave you alone, what if you choked on your own vomit Peach? Also, I cooked for you and saved you from a headache.” He gave a few taps to his temple and you rolled your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Oh, so you being a good friend means I owe you?” And that comment was not liked. Neither of you liked that. You didn’t like calling him that… but he cannot be more than that. Eddie’s eyebrow twitched, but he masqueraded it with a grin on his face.

“Me being a good friend doesn't come for free.” 

And him saying it… only made you even more annoyed.

Things returned to normal after it and you didn’t like it one bit. It was your decision, it was your say. It was you the one who told him you two were just that. Friends. Friends who send eachother tik toks, memes, joke about what happened at work to both of you that day.

Just like before. Before the bantering. Before you– Before you broke up with Billy. Those first days of friendship, those first weeks and months where it was just you two having fun. Sure, you have noticed his instagram stories before, but you hadn’t paid attention to them. You never lingered more than one second on the story. Now, you lingered five… maybe ten. Maybe you even took a screenshot here and there. 

You had to stop. You had to, but as the days passed, you remember the kiss more and more. You remembered the heat of his body, the way your fingers ran through his hair, the way you wanted his leg to press in between your thighs, and how he gripped your waist and held you tight. 

It was intense and you wanted that intensity once more. You wanted to feel him again and even more. It wasn’t enough, and you told him it was, lying to him as well as yourself. You weren’t an idiot… you knew he was pissed about your decision, but he still respected it. It was just a crush. It was just that and you two had to leave it behind.

But can you?

Can you really put it behind you? How? How when you hadn’t tried him the way you wanted to? How when you touch yourself to thoughts of him? How when you still hadn’t returned his shirt and sweatpants from a week ago and you still use them to sleep?

And how can you put it behind you when the bastard looks fucking great in a goddamn short-sleeved black turtle neck, showing off his tattoos as he pours drinks for him and Steve in the kitchen of his house. 

You were standing on a corner, next to Jonathan as you two watched the people all around you. You had greeted Jeff and Gareth, Eddie’s coworkers, or well… workers since he is the boss of the shop. Then all your friends were here too but then… there were also strangers. 

“I think they’re friends from clubs? Or– I don’t know who the fuck these people are.” Jonathan comments while you take a sip of your beer, promising yourself to not drink much tonight. Who knows what you might do if you have more than what you can take?

“I have no clue… maybe it’s friends from friends from friends…” You tried to pitch in but– You couldn’t help to look at all the girls that were in his home. You heard the doorbell ring, even through the music and Eddie patted Steve’s shoulder before going to get it. He opened the door and you took a sharp inhale of breath as you saw a blonde greeting him with two other girls behind her.

Eddie smiled at them and the grip on your can tightened. You felt your stomach flipping, and you tried to push it away as best as you could. They’re just friends. Absolutely. Of course, just like you are, or Nancy or Robin. Just friends.

But you couldn’t help but wonder if he fucked one of the girls here… or a few.

You didn’t believe Eddie would be stupid enough to put girls he fucked in the same place, well, unless he planned to fuck more than one. That thought made you take a large sip of your can. You had tried to set your eyes on someone else but you couldn’t. Your eyes drifted to the same dark-haired man with tattoos showing. 

You realized you ran out of beer and saw Steve sauntering over. You excused yourself to get another can, moving through the people that laughed and drank. It wasn’t a big party, but there were many people, probably twenty, or a bit more. You reached the kitchen and opened his fridge to take a can out, only to feel another presence next to you.

“Now, don’t overdo it tonight Peach. Don’t want to take care of you again.” You closed your eyes as you felt irritation bubble inside of you, turning to look at him. His eyes scanned your face, his eyes moving down your body as you turned to put the can on the island counter behind you, opening it.

You were wearing a small simple black dress with straps, heels on your feet. It wasn’t too much, but it wasn’t casual. Your perfume was a tad stronger than other times, knowing you sprayed yourself a few more times than you usually did. He stood next to you, grunting when he realized the drink he prepared before was gone, grabbing another red cup for himself to start preparing himself another one.

“Don’t worry Munson, not planning to. It’s my second one of the night, and we have been here for two hours already.” You say as you take a sip of your can. His eyebrow raised up in question at the hint of anger behind your voice. The irritated tone you delivered that phrase with.

“Damn, if you are getting bored you can leave Peach.” He says as he rolls his eyes, pouring rum into his cup. You side glare at him, looking at all the people around you.

“Who are all of these people anyway?” You asked and he looked at you and then at the people around him.

“Friends I met, some were clients from my shop, and then it’s just friends of friends.” And that was that. Before you could even process it, the next question was out of your lips with so much venom that you didn’t even recognize it yourself.

“And I bet you fucked more than two of the women here, right?” He was shocked at your question and before he could say anything you were gone. 

And now, Eddie Munson was angry.

He was fucking pissed, and as he took the first sip of his drink, he knew you weren’t going to leave his home tonight. Not without answering the many questions he has. Why were you playing hard to get? Why tell him to be just friends and then say stuff like this? Why tell him to forget it all when you clearly didn’t want to either?

He clenched his jaw as he walked towards Leslie, an old worker at his shop before she got married. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as he talked, a smile on his face as he did.

“And George stayed home tonight, playing with his own friends. I just needed a night out by myself you know?” She says and Eddie nods at that as Gareth chuckles, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe you are married still. I remember when you told us you didn’t believe in such things as marriage and shit.” Eddie smiled as Leslie started bantering with Gareth, but he caught something in the corner of his eye. 

You.

You were looking his way. It was a mixture of a glare and a squint as Nancy talked with Robin. You straightened up and pretended to look around you instead of him and directed your eyes back to your two friends. His jaw clenched once more as he realized what you were looking at. He wasn’t a fucking idiot, and you were pissing him off.

He had been civil, not letting the kiss ruin the friendship you two had before, just like you wanted. He had been sending you memes all week, talking about your car and even making fun of you still about how old it is. No flirty remarks like before, but now you do this. 

Why do you care if he fucked any of the girls here? Why do you have to make those kinds of comments to him? Why would you glare his way because he had his arm around another girl’s arm? Why would you tell him to forget about the kiss and stay friends and just that, and you act like this?

And you, you don’t want to be obvious, but you can’t help yourself. You are watching the girls that talk to Eddie throughout the night, see with whom he acts differently. Maybe see if seeing him flirting with someone else makes you realize that your decision was correct. That your decision of staying just friends was the good one. You know it is. You know it is for the entire group dynamic, not just the two of you.

But why do you have this sensation of regret? Of knowing you might be missing a chance? You want to shake off the feeling, the nauseous-like feeling swirling around in your stomach. Maybe it’s time to stop drinking for the night. You place the half-empty can on the small table next to the couch and see Eddie leading the girl he had his arm around up the stairs, where his room was.

Your stomach twisted and you closed your eyes because you were being dumb. You and he didn’t do anything, you just made out, nothing special. He is just a friend, you wanted this, you have to keep your word. You have to–

“You okay?” You’re startled by Robin, looking at you worriedly. You blink a few times to center yourself back to the present and turn to look at her, a fake smile spreading on your lips as you nod at her.

“Yeah, just kind of spaced out.” You try for your voice to not sound strained, as if you didn’t feel your heart hammering, pounding to come out of your chest. Suddenly, you hear the stairs again as Eddie talks to the woman who follows him. A sense of relief washes over you when it was only a minute since they went upstairs, nothing could have happened.

You shouldn’t feel relief. You shouldn’t be feeling anything at all, but all you fucking remember is that kiss.

You stayed with Steve, telling him to take you home afterwards while Robin and Nancy left a bit early, as well as Argyle. One hour later all the strangers left one by one, and not a girl in sight that stayed behind. You were pitiful. You knew it. But you couldn’t help yourself.

“Ready to go?” Jonathan asked and you nodded, walking over to the coat hanger to look for your coat, only to find that it was gone. Dread filled you as you thought someone mistakenly took it, or worse, stole it. You didn’t know more than half the people in here so–

“Peach, I left your coat upstairs in my room. It was getting a little crowded in that hanger.” His voice startled you, turning to face him. He was towering over you, a look in his eyes that you couldn’t pinpoint what it was. A smile was on his lips as he kept talking, “Plus, you are staying behind.”

You frown in confusion at that, your eyes still connected with his. You tilted your head in question as Steve grabbed his coat alongside Jonathan’s jacket.

“Why? You need help cleaning?” He asks and Eddie chuckles as he looks at his best friend.

“Yeah, and she owes me. Isn’t that right… sweetheart?” He tilted his head at your nickname and you knew that it wasn’t that. He doesn’t want to clean the mess that is his living room and kitchen. Jonathan whistles as he puts on his jacket.

“Well shit, I’m glad I’m not you.” He comments and you turn around to look at them, your face still stunned at the turn of your night. Your nerves were breaking you from the inside out. Was he going to yell at you? Break the relationship for how you acted tonight?

“You’ll take her home later on?” Steve asks and Eddie’s hand presses on your right shoulder, and you notice the slight pressure on it, more than needed.

“Sure.” Steve only gives Eddie a pointed look and you didn’t want them to leave, but you couldn’t stop them. There was no excuse to make them stay, or to wait for you since you and Eddie are on good terms. They waved at the two of you and finally walked out of the door. You felt the hand on your shoulder leave you as Eddie passed by you, grabbing the keys from the small key holder next to the door and locking it.

Your heart was running wild, feeling the hot air all around you, the pressure of it, the tension. It came right at you like a punch to the gut. His head slowly turned to face you and you could now see the fire in his eyes. Eyes you never saw before. Eyes that make your knees quiver, threatening to give out on you. 

“Ed–”

“What the fuck are you doing?” 

His voice was deep, demanding, and authoritative. You felt a shiver run down your spine, sweat starting to form throughout your body, from the tip of your fingers to your toes. His eyes were piercing you, making you bleed. His jaw was clenched tightly and you knew you had to stand your ground here, so you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Well, helping you clean, so it seems?” You tried not to make your voice sound small, but how his body language reacted made you even more nervous. His body turned to face you completely as one step was taken towards you.

“Oh, you know very damn well you’re not staying to fucking clean.” Your heart was beating rapidly as you looked at him, feeling like a small rabbit being hunted by a wolf. You managed to gulp as you stood your ground. 

“Then I don’t know what the hell you mean.” He laughed dryly, not believing your attitude right now. Better be straightforward with you before he loses his patience.

“Cut the fucking crap Peach. What the hell was that comment about the girls here? Why the fuck would you care?” You winced a bit at it, feeling ashamed and embarrassed about the outburst, but it was out of your own control.

“It was… It was just a question!” His eyes widened in disbelief for a second as he shook his head at you.

“Was it? Was it really? Because you didn’t even give me a chance to answer, so it felt more like a complaint.” He wanted to rip you apart right now. His anger and his pent-up attraction towards you were making him get way too riled up. He couldn’t believe how much you could affect him, but here he was.

“A complaint? No, it was just me wondering if there were any girls you fucked in the party, that was all.” And he only responded in a low voice.

“And so what if there were?” Your stomach flipped. He was right and you didn’t want to admit it. Not for a second. You turned around and started walking towards the stairs, needing to leave as soon as possible.

“Can’t a friend simply ask something out of curiosity?” And Eddie’s patience was about to spill out of its glass, all it needs is a few more drops. He groans, no, growls at your words as you start walking up the stairs, him following right behind, his steps louder than yours.

“A friend? A fucking friend? As far as I remember friends don’t glare at one another when they’re with someone else. As far as I fucking remember Peach, friends don’t flirt with eachother–” His voice was annoying you, your pent-up arousal towards him, your anger towards the situation, all of it was overwhelming you. “-- where the fuck are you going!?”

“Home! I’m getting the stupid coat you purposely put in your room to make me stay behind!” You reached his hallway, and you heard the quick clinking of his shoes catching up to you. You were about to turn to go into his room when suddenly you felt your shoulder being grabbed, forcing you to turn around as he slammed you against the wall, not enough to hurt you, but enough to keep you in place.

His chest was moving up and down rapidly, as much as yours was, and then, his other hand came to wrap itself around your throat, not putting any pressure on it. You were about to talk, taking a breath, but you were interrupted when his lips crashed into yours. His body pressed against you, and your breath got knocked out of your lungs.

He moved forcefully, with purpose, as his lips slotted with yours, sometimes teeth knocking by the desperation of his kiss. You were stunned still, your lips being taken by his, making them move the way he wanted them to. The hand that was on your shoulder pressed on your waist now, and the smacking of lips vibrated throughout the small hallway.

Your heart hammered in your chest, your blood rushed to your ears as you felt a hot sweat, a hot wave that ran all over your body. You flushed all over as your breathing quickened. You pressed your hands on his chest and you pushed, separating him from your lips, his hands ripping away from your body as he slammed on the other side of the narrow hallway, in front of you.

You were breathing heavily just as much as he was, staring at one another with glares, with defiance, with a challenge. You were sober, and so was he. There is no excuse this time, no playing games, no lies. He waited, knowing the cards were on your side now.

And fuck the stupid invisible line.

You went forward, hands slamming on his chest to push him into the wall as you raised up to clash your lips against his, roughly, messily, your body showing him just how much you want this, how much you have been wanting this. He groaned into the kiss, delight filling him all over as you reciprocated the kiss, the neediness, the attraction.

His hand flew towards the back of your neck, pulling you into the kiss, his tongue parting your lips and you willingly let him, needing to taste the tobacco on him, just like a week ago. You needed to feel him, completely, and you just had to promise yourself one thing. One small yet enormous thing. 

This has to be a one-time thing.

His other arm wrapped around your waist and your hands traveled north, towards a place that had been there a week before. Your nails went towards his hair, his half bun still holding his hair up. You wanted to rip it off, but you knew it would be a nuisance for him. His scruff tickled you as your tongues danced together, desperately, as if your time was running out somewhere in the universe.

You pressed your body against his, your belly coming in touch with the bulge that resides inside his pants, making you gasp in surprise. You felt your pussy throb in need like it always did whenever he looked better than usual. You felt your blood rushing to your head at the overwhelming feelings of it all, at how your skin was burning you, like a raging fire.

He groaned into your mouth as he devoured your lips, his tongue ravishing yours, fighting for dominance. Goosebumps raised on his skin as he felt your nails graze his nape, and he needed you. He needed you. He fucking needed you. He had to taste you, he had to make you scream, show you what you have been missing, what he has been missing. 

He moved, lifting you two from the wall and slamming you back to the other side, just like you were minutes before. He begrudgingly pulled away from the kiss, but instantly clashed his lips on your neck, making a moan get stuck in your throat as you felt his teeth nipping at your skin. You felt his hand desperately reaching down towards the hem of your dress, grabbing onto it and yanking it upwards and over your ass, leaving you on your thong out in the open.

Your eyes were wide at this intensity of his, but you didn’t dislike it. No, on the contrary, you were loving it. You wanted more. You wanted to feel him more. Wanted to know what else he can give you as you felt him suck on your neck, drunk on your perfume, drunk off of you.

The hand that lifted your dress went towards your ass, cupping it with his large hand, and you felt his digits digging into your skin. He moaned into your neck and then his warmth was gone as he dropped to his knees right in front of you. Your eyes snapped down towards him, your belly contracting in need, your stomach just doing overwhelming flips. 

You felt a tad self-conscious, but it was quickly wiped away when he leaned forward to press a kiss to your right thigh, his hands running from the back of it towards your calf. He kissed your knee before lifting it up so you hooked it over his left shoulder. The position familiar to you, but you couldn’t bother remembering it. Not when he was looking at your clothed center as if it were his last meal.

He bit your inner thigh gently as your scent worsened his state of arousal. His dick twitched in his pants as he raised his hands, his left one going over your thigh, and grabbed the elastic of your thong, the small strap that was on the left side of your hip. His eyes locked with yours and you knew he was asking one last time for permission, for approval.

You could back out. You could tell him to better not do anything… but where would that lead you? To feel disappointed again? To yearn for him? To want him more than before? No… You don’t want that again. You need to try him. You need to experience him, or else this crush might never go away.

So you nod as your body flushes all over, and then, a snap.

You gasp as the thong uncovers you right in front of his face, still hooked on your right leg. He was grinning as he leaned forward, kissing right at the top of your clit, on your belly. Your hands were pressed against the wall behind you, looking down at him with pleading eyes. He gave you one last look and then he dove in.

His left hand went to your ass while the other gripped your hip. His lips gave a teasing kiss to your clit, making you shiver on top of him which only urged him on. His tongue darted out next, licking a strip through your cunt, savoring your juices and he swears you were the most delicious one. 

He knew you were. It must be the pent-up anger and sexual frustration he had with you that probably makes you delectable right now. He just needed the taste, that’s all. But fuck if you weren’t delicious.

And then your eyes widened when he started licking, no, devouring you. And you raised your hand to your mouth, throwing your head back as you muffled your moans into your knuckles. You were being consumed in a way you never experienced before. You felt his tongue all over, his lips enclosed on your folds so he could run it back and forth. The noises were filthy, but he was determined to break you with his mouth.

He noticed how you were holding back your moans, making a growl vibrate in his throat, his mouth unlatching from your pussy so he could bite, a little hard, on your right inner thigh. You yelped at the feeling, your hand moving away from your mouth as you glared down at him with glossy eyes.

“Moan. Let me fucking hear you, friend.” He mocked you and your mouth fell open, stunned, ready to go at him with words, only for those to fall dead in your throat. His tongue was back on you. The tip of it flicked your clit before it went back down to your folds, and then, you felt it enter you.

You finally let a moan out of your lips, your left hand coming to grip the back of his head to hold onto something, anything at all. And the sound of your moan made him groan in need against you, wanting more, wanting to make you fall apart even further. He wanted his name on your lips, he needed you to scream for him.

He felt your warmth all over his tongue as you gripped his hair, sending jolts of electricity down his body, reaching the tip of his cock. He’s sure he is already leaking precum, knowing he is riled up to no measures. Your mouth was still open as moans left it, soft yet sharp breaths as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, leaning against the wall behind you.

You felt him licking, sucking, kissing, flicking, you just felt him all over you, leaving no place untouched. His digits dug into your skin, your legs trembling at each strike of pleasure he gave you. This was new. Completely. You felt good, way too fucking good. After these months of bland hookups, Eddie eating you out, and just doing that, made all of those burn in shame. 

“Fuck…” Was a small little word that fell from your mouth and it urged him to continue, to break you further. His fire for you made him grow impatient with the need to taste your climax, making his muscles tense, clench and unclench, just as your pussy was doing on his tongue.

He pulled away reluctantly with a pop and a slurp in his mouth, moaning softly at your taste. He was eating you but it was not enough, he needed to go deeper, harsher. He needed to brand himself into your memory, claim a small part of your brain that you won’t be able to erase. 

“Trust me.” You were panting as you looked down, about to tell him to shut up and keep going, only for a squeal of surprise to leave your mouth. His right hand was urging you to lift your other leg up, to put it over his other shoulder. Your hands pressed against the wall behind you as you grew unsure about the new position.

“Eddie, you won’t be able to–” His eyes connected with yours, a glare in them, something that told you to not defy him at this moment. You felt the need to comply with his request so you braced yourself on the wall and your eyes widened when his left hand went to hold your waist, pinning you to the wall, while his other hand hooked on the back of your left knee and hoisted it up over his right shoulder.

Then his hand joined his other around your waist, holding you up with his strength and you hooked your ankles together behind him, biting your bottom lip, afraid of falling to the floor, your fingernails digging into the wall behind you. You opened your mouth to tell him that you weren’t sure again, only for it to be silenced by him going in once more. 

He ripped a moan out of your throat as his tongue licked from your entrance to your clit, filthy sounds of his saliva and your juices mixing together, slurping, squelch, everything sounding absolutely dirty and erotic that your senses were overloading. 

He was pussy drunk, his pupils dilated as he ravished you, as he tore you apart with each lick. You couldn’t even care that he was holding you up all by himself, you were looking at the ceiling, your body already flushed, feeling as if you were burning up with a fever. You couldn’t believe you heard moans coming from him doing this to you.

He held your waist, not even feeling your weight, only caring for your taste, only caring for the taste of your impending climax, wanting you to yell his name which you have yet to do. His nose hit your clit each time his tongue dove into you, the tip of it flicking against your walls which made you mewl, your back trying to arch only for his grip to keep you stuck to the wall behind you.

Your climax started to build up, your belly burning and contracting in itself as you panted on top of him. Your senses were overloading, your rational mind was all over the place. For one, you knew you shouldn’t do this, but on the other hand, you couldn’t stop it, not even if you wanted to. You couldn’t find it in you to care anymore, at least not for now.

“Eddie, Eddie–” His name came out of your lips as you felt the coil turning and turning in your belly, everytime he flicked your clit with his tongue. At the sound of his name, he opened his eyes and he realized he won’t be able to see your face when you cum, and he won’t have that. He preferred to see you than taste you, after all, he could lick his fingers afterwards.

He pulled away from your pussy, chin glistening, a string of saliva in between his lips and your clit. You whined as you looked down at him with a pained frown. What the hell? Why? Why did he stop? He made you take your right leg off him, and the moment your heel pressed onto the ground again you felt like you were gonna tumble to the side, but he kept you up thanks to your left leg still on his shoulder.

He tapped on your leg for you to move it off him and you groaned in disdain, wanting to curse at him for stopping, for edging you the way he just did. Was he probably regretting it? Did he come to his senses maybe? You felt your heart beat rapidly as you saw him getting up from the floor, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, once you set your other foot down. 

He towers over you once more, his eyes clashing against your cloudy ones as you feel your legs about to give in on you. His pupils were dilated, the brown of his irises was gone. You gulped as you opened your mouth to say something only for his lips to clash into yours once more. 

You tasted yourself in his mouth, moaning into the kiss as his lips moved on yours. Your hands were about to move from the wall but you stopped your movements when you felt his hand rub your belly as it went further down. You jolted, making you pull away from the kiss with a gasp when his middle finger touched your sensitive clit, making the coil return to your belly once again as if it had never left.

Your gaze went downwards, looking at how he coated his fingers in your juices, a trembling sigh escaping you. You felt his other hand pressing underneath your chin with his index finger, and he made you look back up at him at the same time he teased your entrance with his fingers.

“I’m gonna watch you cum around my fingers Peach.” Your mouth fell open at his words, only for then to feel your eyes roll to the back of your head when his middle finger entered you. He groaned at the feeling of your warmth, the sensation going straight to his dick, which was now hurting from how hard it was, and the pants were too constricting on him. You were so warm, so fucking perfect, and he knew he had to prep you for what he was going to do in a matter of minutes.

You felt his fingers grab onto the sides of your chin, making you pucker your lips slightly as you looked at him again. His gaze was intense as his finger started pumping in and out of you. Your moans were breathy, hot and he could feel them in his face. He saw how a sheen of sweat was over your forehead now, and he could feel your body temperature burning as his finger picked up a pace, your legs spreading a little wider for easier access, making him chuckle. 

“Eager.” He mumbled and you whined at how he was making fun of you, only for a moan to escape you, this time throaty, his ring finger joining his middle one. Your knees started shaking as you felt him go in and out of you. You could feel the thickness of his fingers, rubbing perfectly against your walls as your fingers dug into the wall behind you, trying to keep you up.

“Fuck–” You cursed as you felt him curl his fingers inside of you and your belly started screaming and turning into itself as he hit that spongy part inside of you. He smiled as he looked down at your wrecked face, your eyes being filled with tears of pleasure as your mouth never closed. 

He immediately started a rapid and brutal pace, the squelching of your pussy with his fingers filling both of your ears. You were drenched for him and he was in love with the feeling of it. He pressed his palm over your clit, keeping the pace of his fingers and your eyes widened when you started thrashing underneath him, the pleasure becoming too much as you felt your climax threatening to destroy you.

“Cum.” And that order was low, and you felt it vibrate in the deepest part of your brain. He felt your body start shaking and he ripped his hand off your chin in order to press his entire forearm over your torso, keeping you stuck to the wall. 

Your vision went white, your pussy clenching around him like a vice, throbbing, as your climax hit you like a fucking truck. It was earth-shattering. Your hips tried to move away from him, but also against him. Your moans were all over the place, not even knowing if you were saying anything or just crying out. 

You could see his delighted smile through the fog, as he saw you squirm, helping you ride your orgasm. His pace slowed down as you slowly got some clarity back into your body. You twitched as you breathed heavily, whimpering at the sudden overstimulation. His arm left your torso, grabbing onto your waist to help you stand steady on your heels again. 

He pulled his fingers out of you, and you felt so empty all of a sudden and you let a sigh escape you as your body felt like plummeting to the floor. It was one of the biggest orgasms you had in your life, and you didn’t know he could do this. You couldn’t believe he had this power all along. Your eyes followed his fingers as he smirked at you, darting his tongue out.

“What–” He closed his eyes as he licked his fingers and then put them in his mouth, sucking on your juices, on the awaited climax and he didn’t contain the pleased moan. He felt his dick twitch at your taste. Sweet. Very sweet. Like a peach.

That action made your entire self burn up once again, the shakiness slowly stopping as he opened his eyes again to look at you. Your chest was going up and down as you caught your breath, and he tilted his head in question at you.

“What’s wrong, friend?” Your eyes widened as anger rose from deep within once again. It gave you the needed strength to pull yourself from the wall, feeling your juices running down your inner thighs, and your hand found the back of his head so you could pull him down and kiss him again, ferociously, bruisingly.

He groaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around you as he took a step back, and guided you into his room, his foot hooking onto the edge of the door and pushing it closed with a slam. You weren’t even phased at the sound of it, you just kept kissing him as one of his hands was splayed on your back while the other was kneading your ass, fondling it. In that small walk, your broken thong fell down your leg, and naturally stepped out of it.

Your hands found purchase on his biceps, running towards his chest and then downwards to the hem of his shirt. You tugged on it, and he broke away from your lips, desperately, his breath hitting you as he ripped his shirt off his body, throwing it somewhere in the room and then slamming his mouth against yours again.

You wanted to look at him, see the body you saw on the instagram stories, the one you took a screenshot of and resides in the gallery of your phone. But you cannot stop kissing him, it’s too addictive and he feels the same with you. He was eating you whole as if he were trying to suck the soul out of your body and maybe he was. 

His hands moved towards your shoulders and he quickly put them underneath your straps, pushing them down your arms. While he did that, your hands went towards his belt, unbuckling him, but he stopped you, pulling away from the kiss. His eyes opened the same time yours did and your pupils clashed together, but before you could think, his hands pressed on your chest and you were pushed backwards, making you yelp.

Your back bounced against his soft mattress, and your breathing was quick, elaborated, and you raised yourself up on your elbows to see him intensely looking at you, ripping his belt away from him. Your mouth filled with saliva as you saw his body, the tattoos that scattered all over his chest, tummy, arms, and part of his neck and you just wanted to reach out, run your hands all over, and lick and trace each patch of ink.

He quickly unbuttoned his pants and unzipped them before pulling them down his legs with a harsh push, and when he straightened up, your eyes almost bulged out of your skull. Your eyes were trained on the bulge that was strained in his boxers as he looked down at you. 

He was huge. The biggest you’ve ever seen.

He knew his size, and he knew how this would go, just like all the times that he had sex, he knew it was going to be too much. But that wasn’t going to stop him from having you, not at all. He stepped out from his pants and boots, and he reached down towards you, his hands dipping into the top of your dress and tugging it down from your body. You helped by raising your upper body off the mattress, and then your hips as he undressed you from your last garment of clothing. 

He threw the dress to the side and unclasped your heels, and you shook them off, your eyes never leaving his bulge, your cunt throbbing at the thought of having it. He dove in again, crawling on top of you, guiding the two of you to the middle of the bed, his right knee hooking underneath the back of your left one, and he pushed it upwards, spreading your legs for him to slot himself in between them. And then, you felt him.

You threw your head back at the feeling of him against your pussy. You knew your juices were drenching the fabric of his boxers but you didn’t care and he didn’t either. The only thing the two of you could think of right now was to fuck like rabbits, fuck eachother into oblivion, fuck eachother until one of you simply passes out.

His lips found your neck as he rubbed himself against your wet cunt, finally moaning into your skin as he got some friction on his cock. He heard your moans, your arms wrapping around him and then the feel of your nails on his back, scratching as his thrusts were a little harsher. His patience was running thin as he felt a sweat all over his body. His chest felt as if it were on fire and he knew that if he didn’t have you now he was going to go crazy.

Your hips moved against his and nothing felt more delicious than this. You barely recognized yourself. This felt too good and you weren’t ashamed of your actions, of showing just how turned on you were.

But you wanted a taste first.

Your hands moved to his shoulders and you used your strength to push him away and rolled the two of you over so you would be on top of him. He bounced underneath you, a little startled at the change of position. You were looking down at him and he finally saw how much lust your eyes were holding for him, and it probably matched his.

You dipped down, and your lips kissed his neck, making him close his eyes at the feeling while your hips were rubbing against his bulge. You moaned into his skin, feeling your clit being hit just right. You sighed as you started moving downwards, your lips kissing his torso, his eyes opening to look down at you. 

No one did this for him. He didn’t mind that they never did but now he realizes what it feels to be truly desired. It felt like you were worshiping him and fuck if he didn’t love it. Your kisses found way towards his stomach, his small formed abs as you kept crawling backwards and then a bit of panic set in him as you held the hem of his boxers.

You bit your bottom lip as you pulled away, hooked your fingers and pulled those boxers down, and the moment his dick sprung out, your eyes widened at the sight. It was longer than average, thick, and you never saw anything like it before. You were awestruck, but Eddie thought otherwise.

He thought you were hesitating, wondering if you would feel pain. It was always the same for him. They would retreat slightly at the sight of it and he would promise to not go all the way, and he always kept that promise. He opened his mouth to say something, to tell you that you didn’t need to do anything, but then he felt something he hadn’t felt in a while.

You leaned down, your tongue lolling out of your mouth, and licked over his tip. He held in a whimper as he raised himself up on his elbows to watch you. You were on all fours, ass in the air as your upper body leaned down so that you could lick him, with the flat of your tongue, from base to tip. 

He shuddered at the feeling, and he could see how hypnotized you were with him, and that made his dick twitch. A smile broke on your face as your hand wrapped around it, letting the other one rest on his thigh. He then saw you let a drop of saliva fall out of your mouth and onto the tip. Your hand went upwards and you lubricated it with your saliva and then you moved it back downwards, starting to slowly stroke it.

He groaned into his throat, throwing his head back at the feeling, only for his eyes to snap open again and look back down to you. Your mouth closed on his tip, sucking on it and his mouth dropped open at how you looked. He felt his stomach turn as you took more of him into your mouth and you moaned, sending vibrations all around him.

Oh, you were fucking perfect. He hasn’t been inside you yet and you are already the best he’s ever had. Your eyes were closed as you started to slowly bob your head up and down, helping yourself with your hand to reach the rest of his cock you know you won’t be able to fit into your mouth. 

You were getting wetter as you sucked him off, his moans filling your ears as you slurped on his cock. You’ve never felt this hungry for a dick before, like, you’ve never had this intense need of tasting it before. But Eddie… Eddie you needed a taste of. It’s not even about reciprocation of him eating you out, it’s pure desire. Your own desire.

You needed to know how far you could take him, so you unwrapped your hand from around him and relaxed your throat. You breathed through your nose as you bobbed downwards, taking more than before and his eyes widened as you kept going. You almost made it, a little more than half in your throat, but then you gagged, knowing it was your limit.

He whimpered, and it was the most delightful sound you heard from him yet. Eddie Munson whimpering. You should record it. You moved upwards and your hand wrapped around him again, as you continued bobbing your head. You moaned when you started tasting the precum in your tongue, and it was tangy, a little bitter, but it was still good. 

Eddie was breathing heavily as he saw you pulling away with a ‘pop’ only for your tongue to dart out and dip the tip of it on his slit. 

“Oh, fuck me.” He threw his head back as he closed his eyes, feeling them rolling to the back of his head. You smiled with satisfaction as you kissed his tip before getting it into your mouth again and swirling your tongue all around it. His eyes snapped wide open and his hips jerked when you rubbed his frenulum with the tip of your forsaken tongue. 

You took him back in and you quickened the pace of your head bobbing and your hand. You heard yourself slurping, your saliva all over his dick, and your hand helping the movements. His belly tightened and you saw it as his hips jerked slightly when you, once more, teased his frenulum. You pulled away with a pop and smirked as you looked at him with half-lidded eyes, saliva running down your chin.

“Someone is liking this a bit too much, isn’t he?” It was time to be cocky with him and his eyebrows met in the middle, as if he were angry, and he glared at you as you looked back down on his dick. Your pussy throbbed as your smile faded from your face.

You wanted it. You needed it. Maybe it is what you have been needing all this time. Maybe this– Maybe you could finally feel full. You bit your bottom lips as you desperately tugged on the hem of his boxers to pull them all the way down. He caught on and raised his hips to help you remove them. You wiped your mouth afterwards with the back of your hand. 

You raised your head to look at him, to ask him where the condoms were but he was already stretching to the side, opening his drawer. You bit your lip as he took out a black foil condom, getting himself back in the middle of the bed. He sat up and looked at you as he ripped the foil open with his teeth. Your hands instantly flew to grab the condom from his hand before he could react. 

He closed his eyes as his jaw clenched when he felt you rolling the condom down on his cock. He needed to fuck you like… yesterday. He opened his eyes again, ready to throw you to the side so he could get on top, but his eyes expressed confusion when you threw one leg on the other side of his hip and you pressed your hands on his chest, urging him to lay back down. 

You could literally have hearts in your eyes from how cock drunk you felt, without the cock being inside you yet. You rubbed yourself along the shaft, letting your juices lubricate it. Eddie winced, loving it, but he had to warn you, he had to tell you he had to change positions.

“Sweetheart– Peach– Listen–” You glared down at him as he talked, and his eyebrows were knitted into a worried frown as your hand got in between them and you raised your hips upwards.

“You regretting this Munson?” Your voice was low, challenging, and fuck no. He would never regret any of this. Ever. His hands gripped your hips, trying to warn you not to move.

“No, fuck no Peach, but I have to warn you–” He choked in surprise when he felt his tip go inside of you, and fuck you were so warm, but he had to stay focused. He could hurt you if he didn’t. “Sweetheart– It won’t–”

“Shut up Eddie, for fuck sake–” Your hands gripped on his chest as you sank lower and lower and his eyes were wide as he saw himself disappear in you, his fingers digging into your skin as he felt you engulf him more and more, and you were reaching the area that he knows would be painful if you tried any further. He gasped out, looking back up at you.

“Shit– Shit–!” He was trying, but you were deaf to his words. He felt himself burning inside out but you, your eyes were going wide as you threw your head back. There was more and more, and it never stopped. The stretch was insane, and Eddie– Eddie wasn’t shutting up.

“Munson–!” It was your last warning before you slammed down on him.

His eyes went wide as he choked a gasp, his head thrown back onto the pillow as he felt you engulf him completely. As he felt someone taking him all for the first time. Covering that area that no other girl could ever take. He was choking on his breaths, the sensations sending vibrations and shocks all over his body. He had to check if you were okay, first and foremost. He looked back at you, his eyes still wide as he breathed heavily.

Your head was thrown back with blown eyes, and you were trying to regain your breath that was knocked out of you. You felt… you felt– Full. You were filled. Fuck, it feels good. He feels so fucking good. A shiver ran down your spine as your senses started to kick in from the initial shock. With your head thrown back, you raised your hips back up and Eddie’s gaze turned down to where the two of you were connected and then–

You slammed back down again, knocking a loud groan from him and a delighted moan from you.

Oh, how good it felt. He was so deep, so deep inside you and you needed to feel it even more. More. More. More. You were primal, and it was a new feeling that you didn’t want to stop. You were oblivious to how Eddie was feeling, not knowing that he had never bottomed out before.

So, you weren’t aware of how he was staring at you. How his eyes were wide and his chest was bright red. How he trembled every other second. And now, he saw you raise yourself up again, your hands on his chest to use as leverage before you slammed back down once more, knocking another moan out of his lips.

You were adjusting, and you rutted your hips on him, back and forth, and you moaned loudly as you felt the tip of him just abusing your g-spot in each hip thrust. He was speechless as he looked at you. You weren’t in pain, you were enjoying this. You were moaning, and he could hear the squelching your juices made against his pelvis.

Against his fucking pelvis.

You smiled with delight, and you closed your eyes as you finally let your head fall forward, and Eddie saw your contorted face of pleasure. His mouth was open in awe as he stared at you, and then you raised your hips back up and that’s when you started a slow pace. A slow, but deep pace.

His hands were gripping tightly onto your hips, and he felt his body becoming hotter and hotter, his mind becoming hazier as if something was trying to take control of him. Your pace started catching more rhythm and you started bouncing on him, choking moans out of your lips as you felt him hit the deepest parts within you.

“Fuck– Fuck– It feels so fucking good, what the fuck–” You were spouting nonsense, yet it was still the truth. You were confused, not recognizing yourself, your voice, your desperate movements, and how your mind was being rendered stupid. You never felt this, with anybody, not even with Billy.

He twitched inside of you, everytime your walls rubbed over the base of his cock made him choke. How the fuck were you able to do this? Maybe there were in fact people made for him, and you are just one of them. His pupils dilated, his breathing heavy as he started groaning through his teeth at each bounce you did on him. 

Your nails dug into his chest as you kept going and then your eyes opened to look down at him. His hips raised up from the bed and his grip on your hips tightened. You could see his jaw clenching as a vein popped out from his neck. His nose flared and you thought you were seeing an animal for a second there and then–

Your mouth fell open as he started thrusting in and out of you, wildly, keeping you in place so you wouldn’t bounce down on him. He was abusing your insides and it was so good, so fucking good. You heard the slapping of skin, the squelches, and your choked moans as you looked down at him, but you weren’t really seeing. You couldn’t focus your sight, feeling a pleasure you’ve never felt before.

He was taking and taking, letting himself go wild for the first time in his life. It was an ecstasy he never felt before, and he just felt– so feral. The moment he noticed your cockdrunk face, he knew that you weren’t in pain. He knows you are loving it just as much as he is. 

He kept going, abusing your cervix in the most amazing of ways, your g-spot being rubbed over and over. Your belly burned, your climax slowly building up, and his eyes were trained on your body as it shook from how fast he was pumping himself in and out of you. He saw you leaning down as your back arched upwards, your mouth open in a constant ‘o’ as your eyebrows met in the middle.

One of his hands shot from your hip to the back of your neck, his thrusts never stopping, not even feeling the slightest bit tired. His touch made your eyes clash with his. You couldn’t even formulate a word, just choked moans as he kept going. He growled as he pulled you down, making your face dive in the crook of his neck while his other hand moved and his whole arm wrapped around your waist.

Your eyes widened when you felt your spongy part being stimulated more than before. The bending forward, helping his cock reach it. Your nails dug into his chest as you moaned into his neck, a babbling mess, drool coming out of your mouth.

“Fuck– Baby–” He moaned your name as he gave one sharp thrust, sitting deep inside you, making you gasp, your breath knocked out as the two of you breathed heavily. Your heart was hammering in your chest, and you felt like your whole body was up in flames. You were growing tired, but you didn’t want this to end. No. Your hips instinctively moved on him, back and forth and he cursed under his breath.

Your world turned, and now you were looking at the ceiling, your chest going up and down as you tried to catch your breath. He was on top of you, his dick still deep inside of you, both his elbows on each side of your head. You looked beautiful like this, wrecked by him, drooling, tears slipping out of your eyes. Good.

He leaned down to take your lips with his, and his hips started to slowly move against you, and your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you parted your legs even farther for him. You moaned into the kiss as he rolled his hips, meditated thrusts that were smoothly deep, and all too delicious.

His tongue invaded your mouth when a moan left you, and you felt his base rubbing against your clit at each push forward. You could hardly focus on the kiss. Your mind a hazy mess, the only thought process being, ‘I need more’.

You were intoxicating, poisonous, and yet addictive. He won’t be able to get enough of you, he knows it. This won’t be enough and he hopes it won’t be either. He will make sure it won’t. He’ll make sure you will still want this afterwards. He’ll make sure you remember how he felt, what he made you feel, how he made you scream.

He pulled away from the kiss and raised his upper body up, looking down at your disheveled form. One of his hands went behind your left knee, holding your leg as he started moving a little faster than before. Your hands gripped the sheet beneath you as you stared at his form, at his eyes looking down at you. 

It felt like an out-of-body experience, for the both of you, forgetting who the two of you were, or what relationship you had before this. He does remember the amount of times, the mouth that is now crying out his name at each thrust said mean things to him, and it prompted him to slam his hips harder into you.

“Eddie–!” You choked out, your belly turning, coiling all around as your climax kept growing and growing. His harsh thrusts making you jerk upwards, the bed slightly swaying back and forth at the movement. He smirked through his breaths, the sweat on his forehead and chest glistening with the soft and bright moonlight coming through his windows.

He looked down at where the two of you were connecting over and over again and he still could not believe he was bottoming out, that all of him was being engulfed by someone, by you of all people. He groaned as he felt your walls fluttering around him and you started choking on your own moans.

He looked back at you, leaning downwards again, his arms cradling your head, his breath on your ear as his thrusts turned short and fast. Your eyes widened, your hands finding his back, nails dipping into his flesh. It was a perfect rhythm, rubbing you in all the right places, the feeling of his pubic hair creating friction on your clit. 

“You take me so well Peach… fuck– you take me so fucking well–” He moaned out with nothing but the whole truth but it was enough for your walls to start clenching as your back started to arch towards him, your belly burning, turning into itself.

“Oh– Fuck, I’m– I’m gonna–” And he let go of you so he could kneel back up, his thrusts still short and fast but he pressed his right hand on your knee, while his left one pressed on your belly. He darted his thumb out and pressed it on your clit as he pressed down with his palm as well, pushing your belly down. 

You gasped, arch arching as your hands were now gripping the pillow under your head, moans, grunts, groans, whines, whimpers and his name. His name was on your lips like a prayer, like a worship. His thumb rubbed circles as he watched intensely, his curiosity and his need for you to cum around him, for him to feel it for the first time making him go insane.

You took a sharp intake of breath as you felt yourself break, coming undone, vision seeing stars as you clenched all around him, with a death grjp. Your climax hit you once again, whimpering and squealing at the intensity of it, and Eddie… Eddie was grunting through his teeth as he felt you clench around him, around his cock, from tip to base. It felt too good. Way too fucking great. 

He didn’t want you to stop climaxing, he couldn’t. He needed it again, he needed you to keep clenching on him like this. He whimpered at the feel of you, looking down at his dick going in and out of you still, with a bit of restraint that felt incredible. Your body fell on the bed again, your walls unclenching after a few seconds and his hands moved towards your hips, his thrusts unrelenting, not letting you rest up.

“You– You’re gonna give me one more Peach.” Your eyes were watery at the overstimulation, but fuck if you didn’t want it to stop. His chest was ignited with newfound fire, his balls starting to tighten, but no, he wasn’t going to cum until he felt you around his dick again, until you cum around him once more. This new experience was just too great for him.

“I– I don’t know– Fuck– I don’t know if I can–” You mumbled, bouncing at his mercy as he kept railing into you. He only chuckled through his moans, and you could hear a low growl coming from deep within his chest. He guided your hips to meet his thrusts and your hands flew to the headboard, trying to ground yourself into a hard surface as it started slamming against the wall thanks to how hard he was thrusting into you. 

“Yeah, you fucking can. I won’t stop until you give me another.” He was demanding, ordering you to do something you didn’t know if you even could, but he did indeed not let you rest. He didn’t let you ride the orgasm out. He didn’t let you take a breather. Your G-Spot never stopped throbbing, and you could feel the coil in your belly start to alarmingly turn again. When your eyes widened as he felt your pussy flutter, he only smirked, “There she is.”

His pace quickened, sweaty skin snapping against yours, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP. It was echoing all over the room, just as loud as your moans, your cries, feeling your whole body burning up, tensing, your muscles trembling now and then as you were on the edge of falling off the cliff.

“Shit, shit, shit, Eddie– Oh god– Oh fuck–” You cried out, almost sobbing as tears of pleasure rolled down the side of your face, throwing your head back onto the pillow as your walls started clenching and unclenching around him and he moaned over you, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist now.

“Fuck yes baby, cum around my cock. I need to feel it again– Please, please–” And you cried his name out as you arched your back off the bed, and he groaned in pleasure, your name tumbling out his lips as you tightened all around his cock. This orgasm was the biggest of them all, of the last two you had. You’ve never had a multiple orgasm before, and it felt so good. 

He was breathing heavily, his chest red all over, and he clenched his teeth as if baring them. His vision went white and he clenched his eyes, tightly, relishing in the feeling of you around him. All it took was two more pumps into your tight heat and then– He came.

He grunted loudly as he shook all over, a whimper mixing in the middle of his breaths as he felt his seed shooting into the condom, spurt after spurt. This was the hardest he’d ever cum in his entire life. You whined as you felt him seething inside of you as he came, and amid your post orgasm, you could see his contorted face. A face that showed pleasure.

The last shot came, and he sighed out with trembling breaths, his heavy panting mixing with yours. He slowly opened his eyes to find you lying before him, eyes now closed as you tried to stop your legs from shaking. The overstimulation was now painful, and all you wanted was to rest. You were drained and so was he.

He groaned and you whined when he slowly pulled out from you, his eyes slightly widening at the amount of cum that was at the tip of the condom. He saw how spent you were, and he leaned down, kissing your cheek softly, his voice low, almost a whisper.

“Rest Peach, I’ll clean you up.” You mumbled something, your brain slowly shutting off, your energy gone. Your conscious mind was already squashed, can’t even think of what had just happened. 

Eddie crawled backwards, his legs trembling as he got on his own two feet, huffing as he felt them wanting to give up on him. He shook his head to center himself again, tying the condom and walking out of his room to go into his bathroom. He threw the condom in the trash and turned to look at himself in the mirror.

He was still breathing heavily, less than before, but still pretty heavy. He saw his face, flushed and then his neck and chest were red. His pupils were still dilated and he took a deep breath in to calm himself down, making numbers in his head to figure out if he missed any of his pills. But he didn’t. 

His body reacted to you in ways it never did with other girls. He’ll have to ask if it could be possible, but in the meantime… His hands went to the sink, washing them, growling when he remembered– He shook his thoughts away. He can’t think like that. He sounds possessive and he is not like that. He can’t be like that.

He brushed his teeth and washed his face. He grabbed a small towel and drenched it in warm water. He cracked his neck as he walked out of the bathroom again and entered his room, to see you in the same position, but he now knows you had fallen asleep. He walked towards you and he pressed the towel on your inner thigh, making you flinch but you didn’t wake. He cleaned you up, being extra careful when he passed over your puffed up pussy. 

He smirked in victory at the sight of it, at how much of your own climax he gathered in the towel. He flipped it inside out and with it he cleaned the drool and tears off your face. You started mumbling something as he held your face in his hand, looking down at you.

“Eddie…” You breathed out. He felt a tug somewhere in his body, but he didn’t know where. He clenched his jaw as he pulled away, putting the towel on the night table. He knew the two of you would talk the next day. He was excited about it, wondering what is going to happen between the two of you after this. 

He wrapped you in his blankets and then got into bed next to you. Your body instantly felt his, and you moved to cuddle his arm. He chuckled at you, his gaze looking up at the ceiling as he realized his energy was too spent, too drained. His eyelids started to drop, the images of you flashing behind them.

He had so many questions, but maybe there were just no answers to them. It was simply that way. But out of all the girls he’s been with… you, being the only one… He had to stop thinking about it, maybe he was just trying to look for something that had no explanation. He gulped as a smile broke on his face. One thing is for certain.

It will happen again… and again… and again. 

end of chapter 17

a/n: after 17 chapters, now that's slowburning at its finest.

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[gacha-incels]

“Arknights/Limbus Company/etc is obviously very political, why are these incels playing it?” Here’s a longer answer if you’re interested.

If you haven’t been watching gacha communities for the past decade this might be confusing to you, but these guys see the games as just apolitical stories with a majority or all-female cast being there to titillate the male viewer. They are for his consumption. It’s why in both eastern and western “gacha game” communities you can see them talking about how these games are better for having “beautiful” anime women versus the hideous hags of western media. I’ve seen so many people asking “how are incels playing a game with so many strong female characters?” They see them not as “strong female” characters but rather “eyecandy made for me”. tbh when it comes down to it I wouldn’t call any of the designs in these games absolutely groundbreaking for the anime genre they’re aiming for. Arknights even follows the standard “fully animal faced-guy” and the female equivalent “small featured anime animal girl with some fur”. This doesn’t mean the designs are bad or you’re foolish for enjoying them of course, there are a lot of fun ones. Anyway, you can see the same sentiment in the majority of anime communities as well. Like do you think that stereotype of an anime nerd who “loves 2D women but hates 3D women” means he’s a feminist because the 2D girl is still female?

To be frank, after some of the actions taken by these companies (ex. the firing of women for posting anything vaguely feminist) can you honestly say an “apolitical game with anime babes” is not the way the games are often enjoyed? The company Yostar who publishes Arknights in Korea literally wrote a statement saying the game is apolitical and calling feminism a dividing force. If the publisher can say something so flippantly like this just to appease their incel fanbase, how can the game be making any meaningful, hardline progressive political statements? I am of course not saying this renders any positive message you get from these games moot nor am I saying it’s impossible for the writers to be passionate about their work, I’m just relaying the thoughts of the incels/“gacha gamers” playing them because there seems to be confusion. What I’m writing here doesn’t mean the worst interpretation of these games are their defining interpretations. I’m trying to explain how the games that many people see as being antithetical to incel beliefs can have these same men as high-spending fans.

Gacha games are unique in the world of consumer media in their extremely close and constant relationship with the consumer. You have to not only love each character’s design (and sometimes story) but also be willing to drop serious gambling money to “buy” them every single month. It’s like merchandizing on steroids. I think the term “whale” has been watered down since younger kids have started playing, but these people spend thousands per patch. Over the years I’ve heard about multiple games like this being sustained by just a couple of high spenders. In 2018 there was even a western news article about a man who had spent $70k+ on FGO. The publisher can’t rock the boat too much to displease the consumer too many times without risking EoS. Every character design and story of a gacha game is affected by this FIRST while any artistic intent comes second.

A Korean woman who had lost her job due to similar “feminist hunting” tactics wrote an article describing the way these incel men think. I posted it here and part of it summarized: the men that play these games see themselves as buying and “owning” the female characters in gacha games, who are often dressed and presented to them in a highly sexualized manner and will obey their commands. In the same way they “own” these 2D women, they also want to own the thoughts of the real live female illustrators who work on the games. Therefore, if these women have expressed ideas that the male gamers find upsetting, they will be angry she doesn’t conform to what they want like the servile 2D girl and do everything to get her fired (this is where she mentions Limbus Company as the most recent example of this happening).

You can argue for some of these games, maybe the girls aren’t dressed super provocatively and give (you) shit instead of being a simpering doll, but in the end it’s not like they can physically walk away or stop speaking to you. For the “waifu” hunter guy it’s just a different type of anime girl to collect.

The stories in these games are generally not what gets targeted as much by incels. In gacha “gamer” communities, especially the Korean incel ones, their main concerns are: how revealing are the summer swimsuits? How many women work for the company designing characters? and related, Are the male characters designed for women or for men and do they “look gay”? If you search through this blog, you can see them directly speaking about these things in regards to their hatred of Genshin Impact and Star Rail. All of these have also been encapsulated in the original Limbus Company incel attack: they hated that the summer female character looked more “clothed” (wearing a skintight suit instead of a bikini) than the male summer character. They thought the collar necklace and open shirt on the male summer character meant he was “a slave” for the female viewers, so obviously it was designed by a woman. When they learned a man designed and illustrated those characters, they searched to find a female illustrator who worked in the game and went after her instead. These guys WERE FANS that played the game beforehand and didn’t think anything in the story was upsetting enough to attack the company about. They were familiar enough with the works of Project Moon to name their little group after an antagonizing force in one of PM’s previous (non-gacha) videogames. And Project Moon saw them as such a significant part of their gacha fanbase that they wrote an immediate apology and fired the artist. How do these actions in reality inform their fiction and the interpretation of it? Getting this out of the way, they were NOT in any danger, the “fans” were not clamoring to get in their offices or camping outside, they were let in and calmly had a meeting with some employees at the office. You can still find photos of them goofing around, the ridiculous write up they brought with them and a transcript of the conversation. This was not a “guy shows up at Mihoyo’s offices with a knife” situation. In the end it was a financial and moral loss for the studio with many new and longtime fans completely dropping the games and Limbus Company taking one of the biggest financial and D/MAU drops for a gacha I’ve ever seen. You can read more regarding the ramifications of this here, this post is already pretty long for this website anyway.

Again I’m not writing this to shame anyone who plays these games, loves their characters or enjoys their stories. I don’t really care either way, and I obviously find the genre interesting or else I wouldn’t have been monitoring it and the fans for a decade. I just want to shine a light on the thoughts of the more “incel” gamers that play some of these games since I have seen a lot of genuine confusion as to why they would play them. In the future my aim is to write a more in-depth post about these issues, their history and the way antifeminists think.

[st4rrth0ughts]

Hello!! How are you doing? Is everything okay? How did you sleep? In any case, don’t forget to have a snack if you haven’t already!

I really enjoyed your Argenti fic! I actually have so many more ideas, but I don't want to push myself too much.. But anyway! What did you think of Blade with a fellow immortal reader? Again, ignore if you don't like it!

-🌾anon

im running on 6 hours of sleep and Subway so im fine :33

Bladie with immortal reader who's indulgent in his desires. 🗡️🩸

tw, cw: a little bit of knife play. bladie is a maso, and your all to happy to indulge him (going into uncharted territory)

Blade and you weren't so different, other than the fact you were in the IPC and he was a Stellaron Hunter. But you two could care less about that. Damned be your bosses, your both immortal, what the hell were they going to do? The cosmos were infinite, and there were millions of planets the two of you could run away and settle down in. If you were to describe your bond with the man, its passionate, sweet, everything in between. But even then, new things were always being explored by the two of you, like how the both of you could heal from wounds instantly. Might as well make use of it.

Tracing the knife over the exposed skin of Blade's neck made him shiver, his hips already trying to grind against your thighs as soft sound escape him, his eyes tearing up. You click your tongue disapprovingly, pressing the tip over the side of his neck, breaking just a little bit of skin to draw blood, but not enough to be too painful, as much as he wants that. He whimpers, watching his blood trickle down the knife, the deep red of the liquid making him grind faster, a growing wet spot more and more visible in his pants.

He's bucking himself on your clothed cock, gripping your shoulders tightly, whining as he buries his head in your shoulder, soft pleas of 'wan' you to fuck me' and 'I'll be a good boy, please?'. Its rare to get him to even submit so willingly, to get him to be begging and panting like a little bitch in heat is even rarer. Savouring how his fingers dig into your arms, pretty tear filled eyes closed in pure shame and arousal as he grinds his bare pussy against you, your own self restraint is broken when he lets out the smallest whimper.

The normally cold swordsman is thrashing against the pillow as your tongue is plunging into him, cuffs forcing his legs open as he twitches from overstimulation, sobbing as he squirts on your mouth as your finger his clit roughly, flicking and fiddling the nub as he arches his back and grinds his head back into your mouth, fisting your hair as your tongue grazes the soft spot that made him squirm against the mattress. You trail the knife over his stomach, lightly touching his abs as you press it right above his cunt, eliciting a squeal from your love.

When you finally push your cock into him, he splutters as he rubs a bandaged hand over the bulge in his belly. He's babbling some stupid shit about how you were going to fuck a baby in him and being your cute baby momma. How adorable, he cant even speak properly. He really was mushy in your hands, wasn't he? You start off slow, pumping your cock into him as he grips the sheets, soft moans spilling from his lips as his eyes close in pure delight.

of course, it quickly progresses into you pounding him into the mattress, Blade swore that you were trying to fuck his womb with how roughly your cock his hitting his cervix, making his body spasm and loud shrieks of 's' too big-!' as his pretty red eyes are shut as tears spill from them. Your finger reaches out to pinch his clit, flicking and pulling it roughly as your length impales him, making his back arch violently against the bed, dark hair spreading around the bed, giving the illusion of a sea of darkness, the prettiest void you set your eyes on.

The immortal doesn't know how many times you've wrung a orgasm out of him, you haven't even came yet! he's sobbing stupidly into the pillows, pleas of 'cant- s' too much-!' and 'n-no, cumming! m' cumming, please, don't-!' as he fists your ponytail, trying to get you to stop, he cant even think straight and speak anymore? Perfect! Afterall, your goal was to break him and make him a cute little cocksleeve greedy for your cum! You finally decide to end your lovely swordsman's pleasurable torment, movements slowing as your seed fills his womb, making his eyes roll back as you pull out with a wet sound, cooing in his ear as you finger your cum back into him, making his body weakly squirm. You'd honestly thought he would have been able to handle you better, but oh well, being able to fuck him stupid on a daily basis is awesome too.

[rapunzelbro]

A Sacrifice For a Friend Angel Dust x Reader 2

This is super angst sorry not sorry part 3 will be up later in the week or two I decided to switch to story format

Masterlist Taglist

1 2 2.5 3 3.5 4 5 6 Statement

“WHAT THE FUCK Y/N!” Angel Dust was late. By the time he got to where you were that sick fucks fog pulled you down to who the hell knows where and Angel’s chains appeared before they shattered “Goodbye Angel Cakes, seems like a bitch did actually love you after all..” Valentino just had a smirk, the contract signed with his name, Anthony, suddenly appearing, getting set ablaze as the ashes hit the ground “Enjoy freedom bitch” Valentino disappeared. Angel was just stuck in silence as the tears began to pool up is his eyes “No I no..” he struggled to get his words out, his breathing labored as he slowly begun backing away from the spot you were preciously, staring at the space like he could still see you “this wasn’t- this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen you’re so reckless damn it! You know that right? You just.. you..” his voice was mumbling as it turning into sobs “Why did you leave me Y/n?”

He drank a lot that night, he almost lost all his progress with quitting his drug addiction, he didn’t know what to do. The guilt just consumed him entirely that he just was left questioning why. His room was torn apart out of the frustration he was left in. The rest of the hotel found out about the news later on, they never saw any of the signs of Y/n changing and becoming distant. Part of Husk felt responsible that he didn’t force Y/n to stay at the hotel that night, he knew something was wrong, he knew what stupid shit you’d be willing to do for Angel Dust.

His stubbornness on not getting involved caused all this bullshit to follow through, he didn’t have the heart to tell Angel Dust or any of the hotel. Charlie was the first to go into your room after you were finally gone, the photos on your decorated door remain, ones with you and Angel Dust together, ones you took with the entire hotel. She decided for Angels sake it would be better if she took them down. Entering your room hit her like a rock. It was so empty, like someone was moving out or just moving in, It was nothing like how you had it before. The once pink and glamorous room that resembled a lot of Angels room, was bleak dull and boring. That alone broke Charlie’s heart to see the progress even if it was a little, go away. She remembers when you first arrived how you said you weren’t going to be here long so why the fuck should you decorate? You said you were going to jump here and there, but that’s before you met Angel Dust. You two spent the last two weeks decorating your room to perfection, you were always next to each other and there for each other, she remembers when you first made your decision to stay and try to be redeemed. She had such a proud smile and had a cake in celebration, that was captured in the photograph that once was on your door. But now you were just gone. She could only worry about Angel Dust and how she had to be strong for his sake.

Angel didn’t leave his room for days and that’s when Husk went to investigate, he wanted to give him time but if he didn’t come out soon he wasn’t sure what would happen. He didn’t knock, he just opened the door to see multiple bottles of liquor on the ground, he’d lie if he said he wasn’t relieved there wasn’t any drugs in that mix, he didn’t want to see him go that far down. Angel was just on his bed with Fat Nuggets cuddles up to him, as he just laid there silent. “Angel” Husk started before Angel visibly tensed up “The fuck do you want? Haven’t you heard of knocking” he didn’t bother to look at him, he didn’t want to look at anyone. “You’ve been up here for two days, what the fuck I want, is to make sure you’re okay” Husk replied annoyed crossing his arms looking at his silhouette. Angel didn’t respond to him for a while but Husk remained in place waiting for whenever he is ready “Why… why did Y/n do it Husk? Please tell me.. why would they do this..” Angel weakly said, trying to not break out sobbing again “Angel I wish I had the answer to that, but you knew how crazy Y/n could be, they said it once before at the bar, they would risk their life for those they loved. Y/n did just that..” Husk tried to explain before Angel jerked up glaring at the man “I never asked them to! Do you remember me ever fucking saying that shit!” He yelled, startling Fat Nuggets who jumped off the bed and retreated elsewhere “No but they knew you wanted out. Y/n was the one who took care of you and knew the most. Y/n’s room still has their stuff in it.. I didn’t know if you wanted in there but if you wanted to go through her remainings you can.. there’s food downstairs if you decide to head down there” Husk left after that and Angel just sat up wiping his tears standing up and going into the mirror. God he looked like shit, he would be caught dead if anyone saw him like this under his contract with Valentino, but now he doesn’t have to worry about it. He doesn’t have to worry about coming home bloody and bruised. It still didn’t make any sense to him why you did what you did. He left the room after trying to fix his appearance, he didn’t care as much right now as he went to your room. His heart ached more the closer he got to your room, he didn’t see the photos there anymore, the ones with the hotel all together and the ones with him and you. When he opened the door he instantly started sobbing when he saw your stuff in boxes and the once lively room looking absolutely lifeless. He tried to look through the boxes but it only caused him to break down more. He didn’t know if his heart would ever recover..

Angel Dust tag list: @vendetta-ari @brithedemonspawn @satansmanager @storydays @saturnhas82moons @zamadness @fizziepopangel

[punksocks]

Astrology Observations: No.29

*only based on my observations, only take what resonates

(Oml I didn’t realize that I haven’t written out a proper observations post since May?? I’m so sorry y’all life has been crazy b u s y and the world has been on fire due to colonialism, but I’m going to write more again 🙃 I love astrology but existence is wild y’all)

-I had a client say Geminis always get Gemini tattoos.. while getting a Gemini tattoo lol (and they were right!!) (Leo suns are second most likely imo)

-mutable venuses like changes in fashion a lot, they tend to go through fashion phases



-Every Pisces sun I’ve met has said they don’t really like being a Pisces at least once. Which is so interesting because Pisces sun isn’t a placement in determent, Libra is ! And I think 9 times out of 10 Libras will say they love being Libras (or it’s a huge part of their personality fr)

-My favorite thing I’ve heard from a Libra sun I knew was that they hated doing all of the things that made them appear socially functional so I said “why do you do it? why not just stop doing what you hate?” and they just looked blank like they couldn’t even imagine not conforming (even though they were an aqua moon)

-Ok so I’ve been wondering why I’ve had repetitive instances of some people being passive aggressive and w e i r d at my main job when I literally own the business and I’m their boss?? But it’s that Lilith in 10th. No one is neutral about your energy and you can rub folks the wrong way just by minding your business. I don’t like it but especially at work bc I’m a Capricorn and this isn’t productive >:/ lol

-Oh another Lilith touching Asc observation is when people start a conversation with me like 60-75% of the time they try to challenge me or ask lowkey rude questions (sneak diss shit lol) like 3 different people asked me what tattoo I regret the most and I was like ??? Hello? Who are you? Lol these streets oml…

-cancer placements can be really centered on defending their self, their perspective, their family, their community (they don’t have to be but it can be a common trait). I just noticed the pattern after ages of wondering why cancer was associated with nationalism on a wide scale. (Pluto in Cancer generation and the rise in nationalism after ww2 for example)

-I feel like Sagittarius placements (especially the big 3) will always be ready to do something new and life changing at any age (moving abroad, going on vacation and exploring new places, getting their first tattoo, anything that seems like it’ll open the door to a set of new experiences)

-Strong mars and mercury energy can make someone brutal in arguments (air mars, Virgo and Gemini mars, even Kendrick is an example he destroyed Drake- and Kendrick has mars conjunct Mercury and a Gemini sun)

-Sag Venus culture is being clingy because you need a lot of attention/stimulation and suddenly ditching when you don’t get enough attention/stimulation to keep your interest 🥴 (even more with sag mars since they’re action oriented, they’re in the same camp imo lol)

-I blame America’s Aquarius moon for the cultural phobia of being too “irrational” or “emotionally expressive” ….while being known as being too passionate and irrational in many non US cultures (also the US and the emotional detachment for the sake of “progress”, dark side of this placement but thematic nonetheless)

-imo when sun’s transiting your Lilith you can feel like a lot of attention is on you, sometimes good but often pretty scrutinizing. I also feel like you can achieve some impossible things during this transit due to Lilith’s energy (she’s built for rebellion, so when a lot of criticism is pointed her way she finds an unconventional way to come out on top)

-I have so much writing to do but if there are specific placements you want me to do observations on, let me know in the comments and my inbox!

[cupcaketeddybehr]

when your credit card declines pt. 2

featuring: gojo, geto, and sukuna!!! sorry the storylines are all so drastically different LOL i made gojo's a meet cute 😅 also i've never written for sukuna before so i really hope you guys like it!

here's part 2 as promised! thank you so much to the lovely lovely @luvxoxo for the request!! ILYSM!!

for anyone who has a request/just wants to chat, my ask box is open!! (please please please please send me requests)

tags! <3 : @itawifeyy

Gojo

you sigh as you peer through the pastry display case at your favorite cafe. you came as soon as you got off work, but it doesn’t seem like you came early enough. with fifteen people in front of you, you’re sure that the three boxes of kikufuku, your favorite sweet treat, are going to disappear by the time it’s your turn. after dealing with annoying, entitled clients for the entire day, this brings your mood to a new all time low. unsure of what you’re going to end up ordering, you stay in the line, hoping that some kikufuku will be magically left by the tine you get to the front.

the man behind you doesn’t make waiting in the line any easier. either talking to himself or talking to someone who barely responds to him, he’s talking at a volume that’s making your ears ring. you have no choice but to listen as he excitedly gushes about the progress of his students at whatever school he teaches at. you assume that it’s the nearby jujutsu school you used to attend as a child. you feel the gusts of wind his exaggerated hand movements create on your neck. eventually, one of them end up accidentally smacking the side of your head. you turn around to yell at whoever's behind you when you make eye contact with the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. you take in his expressive blue eyes and perfectly styled white hair. you’re wondering how he looks this good after a long day of work.

you two stare at each other a bit until the black-haired man next to him, who you assume is his friend (weird because you haven’t heard him talk the whole time), smacks him and hisses, “satoru, apologize”

satoru blinks and says, “oops, sorry, i didn’t mean to hit you,” still not breaking eye contact.

all anger suddenly leaving your body, you shake your head, “it’s okay” you stare at him a little longer, both of you waiting for the other person to say something. when neither of you do, you turn back around, a bit disappointed. maybe you were being delusional.

you drag your feet as the line in front of you gets shorter. you hear people shoving each other behind you, and you hold back a giggle.

“shut up, suguru”

you hear the two shove each other back and forth, careful not to hit you or anyone else with their antics.

when you get to the front of the line, you look into the display case again to look at the leftover kikufuku. to your disappointment (but not your surprise), there are none. turning to the cashier, you ask, “do you have any more of that?” as you point to the empty platter labeled “kikufuku”

she shakes her head, “sorry, all we have left are kikufuku pre-orders”

you frown, continuing to look at the display case, hoping to find something worth buying.

“you can have some of mine” satoru says from behind you. he looks at the cashier and asks her to bring his pre-order out from the back.

“no, it’s really okay i-“ you stop mid-sentence as you see the cashier come out of the kitchen with more kikufuku boxes than you can count. you can’t even see the top of her head. you look at suguru, who has his hand over his eyes, embarrassed. “i take it back.”

satoru laughs, “you can have a box!”

“ONE BOX? YOU HAVE SEVENTY”

“BECAUSE I PREORDERED”

you huff, ‘i guess… thank you, satoru”

he beams at the sound of his name, nods, and goes to look at the other pastries, asking suguru if he wants anything. currently, his eyes are only on the sweets in the bakery.

you take a glance at him as the cashier asks you to swipe your card for the box of kikufuku. you fish for your card in your wallet and then tap it on the machine.

“sorry, could you swipe that again?” the cashier asks. you panic and wonder how much money you have left in your account.

satoru suddenly looks away from the pastries and looks at you, “why are you paying?”

you’re confused, “i’m buying the box? if you don’t want me to anymore its fi-“

he steps beside you, asks the cashier to add a few more other sweet treats, and tells her to add your tab to his. “do you want anything else?”

“why are you being so nice to me?”

“maybe i want to take you out on a date” he says. “also- i never got your name”

“yes! uh- i mean, i’d love to” you grin, “and my name’s y/n”

he smiles and dumps the seventy boxes of kikufuku and bag of pastries on his friend. “suguru, hold this.”

grumbling, suguru takes the boxes and bag as satoru pulls out his phone.

“can i have your number?”

you nod, taking his phone and typing in your number and name with a little heart next to it.

“wanna come with me to this kikufuku shop tomorrow? i haven’t tried it yet” he asks.

“didn’t you just buy seventy boxes?”

suguru peeks out from behind the boxes, “he’ll be done with these by tomorrow.”

Geto

you walk through kyoto’s don quijote superstore with your boyfriend, suguru, on the phone. wandering the aisles searching for cheap peripera and romand lip oils and glosses, you can’t help but notice how shiny suguru’s hair looks through the screen. you swear that it’s reflecting light, sheen glistening as he moves around the house.

“sugu?” you begin, “did you change your haircare routine?”

he rubs the back of his neck with his hand, “noooooooo”

you gasp, betrayed. “you changed it and you didn’t tell me? is that why your hair looks so much better than mine right now?”

he doesn’t even try to argue that your hair is on equal footing, “maybe” he says, as he looks anywhere but you.

you glare at him through your phone, “we literally share the same hair care products. what have you been using?”

“i have a secret stash that i take out when you’re not looking” he sheepishly admits. “satoru told me that your hair looked better than mine the other day.”

you sigh, knowing how suguru is when it comes to his hair. “really, sugu? you’re letting your hair come between us?” you pout, jokingly. his entire ego relies on the appearance of his long black locks.

he laughs, “sorry, angel, my hair and i have a special relationship”

you roll your eyes, knowing that he would buzz his hair off if it meant saving you from a life or death situation. but that was the condition. you had to be on your deathbed. “can you at least tell me what products you’re using?” you beg.

“i use ten different products.”

“WHAT. you must be joking.”

he walks up the stairs and pans his phone camera to the stash of haircare products he’s apparently been keeping under the bed. your eyes widen as you spot every single one of the ten products. among them are hairbrushes, hair oils, dry shampoos, combs, and hair ties (the fancy spiral ones that don’t leave dents).

“why do i feel like this is the equivalent of you cheating on me”

he laughs, “baby, you’re being dramatic.”

“suguru. remind me which one of us keeps a secret stash of hair care products under the bed because he’s too scared to be tied for best hair?”

he clicks his tongue, “fine… i’ll help you find the products. but not all ten”

“why can’t i just use yours?”

“they’re mine.” he says possessively. “but i promise to help you find some.”

you grumble as he gives you step by step directions to the shampoo and conditioner aisle. apparently, he knows the way to the hair care aisle by heart.

when you flip the camera over, he points to the viral &honey shampoo and conditioner. “get that, angel. it’s a really good brand”

you two spend about thirty minutes picking out hair oils and hair masks before you’ve just about had it. “suguuuuu this is too much work” you whine.

he laughs and starts walking towards your garage. “i’ll be there in ten, okay?”

he arrives exactly ten minutes later and you take on a mindless, drone-like state, letting your boyfriend do all the work for you. you watch him as he squints at the labels of all the hair care products, making sure that they either contain or don’t contain a bunch of ingredients you can’t pronounce.

when it’s time to check out, you’re walking hand in hand to the cashier when he starts massaging his temples, “shit, i forgot the new tsubaki hair mask i wanted. i’ll be right back, okay angel?”

“okay sugu! get me one too!”

after looking at the ten person line, you decide that you might as well queue to save time. apparently, people move faster than you thought, because you’re at the front of the line with everything on the conveyor belt. you feel like your parent just left you at the cashier.

panicking, you glance behind you at the long line of people. no way you’re getting back in that. you decide to just tell suguru to come back another day for the hair masks. you double check the total and swipe your pink credit card on the machine.

“i’m sorry, could you try that again?” the cashier asks. you look at the screen and pray that the bold “DECLINED” message is just an error. when you go to swipe again, your card is snatched out of your hand before it’s even halfway to the machine.

“sorry i took so long, angel. i had to fight people for the last two hair masks.” suguru explains. “also- didn’t i tell you to call me whenever you’re buying something? you shouldn’t have to spend your money on anything.”

you breathe a sigh of relief, “usually, i would offer to pay… but i think i’m broke”

suguru stifles his laugh, “remind me to transfer money to your account when we get home, baby.”

you giggle and kiss him, “you’re the best!”

a week later, your hair starts looking a little shinier than his and the cycle begins again.

Sukuna

after admiring sukuna’s tattoos for months, you’ve finally psyched yourself up enough to get one.

you hold his bicep still as you color around his black markings with sharpie while he’s quietly eating his extremely rare-cooked (was it even cooked? you have no idea) steak. “kuna? what tattoo do you think i should get?” you ask as you hand him your phone.

he scrolls through your “tattoo” pinterest board with a look of distate. “these wouldn’t suit you, brat”

you frown as you glance at the pins he’s looking at. you had been hoping to get a cute little studio ghibli linework tattoo on your arm. “why not? I think they’re really cute.”

“something else would look better. those look weak and pathetic.”

you start to get annoyed when he takes a sharpie from your pile and takes hold of your arm. “kuna… what are you doing?”

“drawing your tattoo, obviously” he grumbles. he seems to be annoyed at the fact that you consulted pinterest before him.

the pen strokes on your arm lull you to sleep as sukuna draws all over your forearm, elbow, and bicep.

thirty minutes later, he flicks your forehead to wake you up. “i’m done, brat”

you yawn groggily as you take in the masterpiece on your arm. it’s an entire sleeve of beautifully drawn flowers.

“kuna… this is beautiful.”

“i know” he says, “it suits you.”

you grin at him, “awww thank you, kuna”

he nods, “you can look up the meanings of the flowers later.”

MEANINGS? your boyfriend knows the meanings of flowers? you know that he gardens, but you didn’t know that he loved flowers this much. “i love you so much! you’re so cute!” you squeal while you throw your arms around his neck.

“ditto… and don’t call me cute.”

you tug on his hand and pull him to the car, “let’s go!”

before you know it, you’ve been laying down on the tattoo bench for almost two hours. the piece is huge, and you’re sure that you’re going to be here until they close. sukuna sits beside you, brushing his long nails through your hair and squeezing your free hand with his other hand every time you wince.

at some point, tears are falling down your face. sukuna yells at the tattoo artist to get out while he wipes the tears from your face and kisses your forehead repeatedly. “you can do it, just a little bit more. it’s going to look so pretty on you”

you nod, squeezing his pointer and middle fingers with your hand.

when the tattoo artist walks back in, sukuna shoots him a glare before returning to his original position. an hour later, he’s stroked your hair so much that you’ve fallen asleep.

when the tattoo artist pokes your shoulder to wake you up, you take a moment to admire the beautiful spread of flowers on your arm. as you turn to tell your boyfriend, you realize that he’s fast asleep on the chair. now that you’re looking at him, you have no idea how he fit into that chair to begin with.

you quietly make your way to the counter to pay, trying not to wake sukuna. when you pull your credit card out of your wallet, it somehow suddenly goes flying right into sukuna’s hand.

he walks towards you , running a hand through his hair. “WOMAN. how many times have i told you that you’re not allowed to pay for anything in this relationship?” he snips, inserting his platinum american express card into the slot.

“oops”

“whatever, just don’t pull something like that again. i ordered you a credit card linked to my account. it’s coming tomorrow.” he says.

your eyes widen, “WHA-“

he clamps his hand over your mouth, “shhhhh… just accept it”

you nod slowly, “okay… thank you kunaaa”

“mhm” he says as he spins you to the side to get a good look at your new piece. “do you like it?”

“of course i do, you drew it” you say, staring adoringly into his eyes. “wanna tell me what flowers you drew?”

he points to each one as he names them, “alstroemeria, calla lily, baby’s breath, camellia, daisy, marigold, and rose”

“wanna tell me what they mean?”

“no. google it.”

later, when you go to google the flowers, tears well in your eyes at your boyfriend’s thoughtfulness.

[alstroemeria (devotion and friendship), calla lily (magnificent beauty), baby’s breath (everlasting love), camellia (perfected loveliness), daisy (cheerfulness), marigold (power and strength), rose (loyalty and love)]

you come up behind him and jump on his back, kissing his cheek, “you’re the best”

the corner of his mouth lifts, “so when are we getting matching tattoos?”

thank you so much to @saradika-graphics for the beautiful dividers and support banners 🫶

and thank YOU so much for reading! i appreciate you!

[shootingstarwritings]

Body-a-Day #1: Smoke

There existed a certain forbidden ritual allowed mortals to open up a portal to Hell and use its unholy flames to burn one particular target. The flames of Hell were unique, being much harder to douse than a normal inferno. This quality assured the caster that their target would be eliminated. But opening up a portal to Hell was a price that nobody could pay the cost.

On a certain day in a certain city, a particularly bold businessman who happened to be an amateur mage had used such a ritual to set the home of a rival co-worker ablaze. While the home itself had been miraculously empty at the time, firefighters still struggled to combat the otherworldly fire. After a horrifying hour of hard work and exhaustion with little progress made, the flames almost seemed to… give up.

While some believed that a miracle had happened, it couldn’t be further from the truth. A demon, Asmodeus, had slipped through the crack between the realms and commanded the flames to surrender. He needed the firefighters to end it quickly and raise any suspicion.

With the flames finally put out, a few firefighters inspected the razed remains of the home to see what could be salvaged. One of them, a volunteer by the name of Hank Sutherland, walked just the tiniest bit away from his fellow firefighters. Asmodeus had his target, now he just needed to take him.

~o~

A cold chill ran up Hank’s spine as he looked around. It felt as though something was watching him. Nervous, he called out, “H-Hello…?” Yet his only response was a column of smoke rising from beneath the burst wreckage and forcing itself into his mouth. “MMRGH! MMM…!” Hank gasped and choked as the demon flowed inside of him, filling his lungs and effectively silencing his cries from the ears of the other firefighters.

Strength failing, Hank fell backwards as the last of Asmodeus’ smoky essence filled his body. He groaned and writhed on the ashy floor before his eyes turned the same shady of darkened gray as Asmodeus. Then, his body grew stiff and he fell unconscious.

Hank awoke to an unfamiliar white ceiling and several cables attached to him. Cleared from duty for the rest of the week to rest, Hank eventually made his way back to his apartment. As soon as front door shut, Asmodeus groaned and cracked his neck. He let out a guttural groan as he adjusted himself properly inside his new flesh—as though he was stretching out a new pair of shoes.

Hands ran up against the man chest and stomach as the new Hank moaned as he experienced the pleasures of the flesh. He walked over to the bathroom with a swagger than the real Hank never had.

“Now then,” he said to his own reflection. “Let’s find the mortal who summoned me here. I haven’t eaten a soul in what feels like centuries.” Hank bellowed in laughter as a new playground was now in his grasp.

[hugz4hoon]

stargazing (pt.2) - s.j.y.

read part one here!

summary — you finally come to the conclusion that you need to get over your one sided feelings.

pairing — best friend!jake x fem!reader

genre — fluff and angst

wc — 2.3k

a/n — she's here! it ended up taking longer than i thought because i absolutely hated my first draft LOL so i completely scratched it and restarted it with a new plot hehe but i really hope u guys like this one!!!

It’s been two weeks since you last spoke with Jake. The last time you saw him was when he left you heartbroken on your rooftop. Since then, Jake has regretted not telling you how he feels that night. The only reason he hasn’t called or texted you is because he’s embarrassed about how he acted, and he doesn’t know what to say to you. Meanwhile, you’ve been forcing yourself to get over him by distracting yourself everyday. It’s obvious he’s been avoiding you; it’s definitely time to move on.

You were at the mall with your friends when you saw Jake walking in your direction. It was a bit nerve wracking—you haven’t seen him for two weeks, and suddenly, you didn’t know how to act around him anymore. But, that didn’t seem to be a problem, because when you made eye contact with him, his eyes widened as if he had seen a ghost. The second Jake saw you, he immediately turned to walk in the opposite direction. And that’s when you saw who he was with… a girl that you’ve never seen before? You watched their backs as they left your eyeline.

Your heart ached with a newfound heaviness. You felt as if your whole world was crumbling down. Who was that? Does he hate me so much that he can’t even look at me? Did he really find a new best friend in the span of two weeks? Or even, a girlfriend? Your mind was going haywire, and your distress definitely showed on your face.

One of your friend’s voices snapped you out of your daze.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just feeling a little tired right now. I think I should head home,” you half heartedly smiled at them. You had to get out of there. If you stayed in the busy environment for any longer, you’re sure you would’ve passed out. Shrugging off your friends’ demands and questions asking whether you wanted company, you called a taxi and headed home.

--

As soon as you got home, you took a hot shower to collect your thoughts. You didn’t want to be heartbroken over Jake because that would ruin all the progress you’ve made in getting over him. Instead, you decided to take a nap to try to sleep it off.

When you woke up, it was 6pm; you ended up sleeping for around three hours. You wake up to the vibrations erupting from your phone. Before you could see who was calling, the call ended. That’s when you saw the many missed calls adorning your notification center. There are over a dozen missed calls from… Jake? You keep scrolling to find Jake’s text messages to you from two hours ago.

jakey <3: can we talk

jakey <3: i shouldn’t have walked away from u

jakey <3: i miss u

Now you're pissed. Saying he misses you right after ignoring you for two weeks, and walking away from you without so much as a quick hello at the mall, is confusing as hell. Not only is it confusing, but it’s also rage inducing. With anger clouding your mind, you sharply respond to his messages instead of calling him back.

y/n: that’s so stupid

y/n: you say all that but your actions say otherwise

He calls you immediately the second you text him back, but you cannot be bothered to pick up.

[missed call from “jakey <3”]

jakey <3: pick up ur phone y/n

y/n: no. i don’t wanna hear it jake

y/n: i’m done

jakey <3: done? what do u mean by that

jakey <3: y/n please just call me we need to talk

jakey <3: y/n

At this point, you’re so annoyed with him that everything he says pisses you off. You stop responding when you start to feel as if steam is blowing out of your ears, before your head pops off due to built up pressure. As you start to distract yourself by doom scrolling through social media, you get another notification from Jake.

jakey <3: open ur door

Sure enough, he’s at your house now. You ignore the message and continue scrolling, hoping that after a couple of minutes, he’ll leave. About five minutes pass by, when you hear a tap on your window. You jump at the noise, and your gaze immediately turns to where the sound came from. There on the tree branch sits Jake, in all his boyish charm, as he sports that damn quirky and apologetic smile again. Unfortunately for him, this is the first time it doesn’t work in his favour. Honestly, you still don’t want to let him in, but it’s a particularly windy day, and despite your anger, you don’t want him to hurt himself.

With a stern expression plastered on your face, you unlock the window and turn right back to your bed. He watches with sorrowful eyes as you sit on your bed, realizing in his haste to see you, he forgot to prepare an apology.

He hesitantly pulls open the window and enters your room. After closing the window, he awkwardly stands there as he thinks of how to approach the situation. You, on the other hand, are staring daggers into his eyes.

“So, are you going to tell me what you’re doing here?” Jake flinches at the clear irritation in your tone. This is the first time you’ve ever been mad at him, and he doesn’t know how to handle it. He hates it. He hates that he’s the reason behind your disdain. All he wants is to see your beautiful smile again.

He shuffles his feet clumsily as he searches for the right words. “I’m here to atone.” He announces with an uncertain voice. Hm, maybe that wasn’t the way to start off, he thinks as he sees your face change into an expression of disconcert.

Your jaw falls open at his statement. What kind of stupid opening is that? “Jake, if you're not going to be serious, I don’t want to hear it,” you firmly state, while getting up to leave your room.

“No, wait, let me finish!” he spews out before you can leave, which gets you to stop in your tracks. “Sorry, I know that wasn’t the best thing to say, but it’s because I don’t know how to address this,” he mumbles.

“Why? I don’t understand, Jake. We used to be able to talk about anything. You used to tell me everything, what happened? I feel like I’m going insane right now.” Your eyes start to water from the vulnerability you’re showing him.

Jake’s eyes soften after hearing your words. He never meant to make you feel this way, in fact, this is the opposite of what he wanted. The reason he didn’t reach out to you was because he was terrified. Terrified of ruining the friendship you two had built over the years. Jake had spent countless nights thinking about you, replaying moments in his mind, and imagining what could be. He wanted to tell you the truth, but he was paralyzed by the fear of your rejection.

What if you didn’t feel the same way? What if confessing his feelings meant losing you forever?

Jake walks over to you and pulls you down to sit on the bed with him, his expression filled with a mix of desperation and vulnerability. His eyes gaze down at your teary ones as he starts to speak in the most serious tone you’ve ever heard from him. “Y/N, the last thing I wanted to do was confuse you.”

“Well, you are confusing me!” Although you want to hear him out, you can’t help but be angry while thinking about his previous immature actions. One thought in particular crosses your mind. “Who was she?” You whisper as you break eye contact with him, prepared for the worst.

Jake takes a deep breath, knowing he needs to explain everything to you. “The girl you saw me with at the mall,” he begins, his voice steadying, “she's not what you think.”

You raise an eyebrow, still feeling a twinge of uncertainty. "Then who is she?"

"She's a friend from one of my classes.” Jake explains, running a hand through his hair. She asked for help with a project she's working on, and we decided to grab some coffee and discuss it. That’s all it was. I promise."

You feel a wave of relief, but there’s still a lingering doubt. “Why did you walk away when you saw me?”

Jake sighs, his shoulders slumping slightly. “When I saw you, I freaked out. I didn’t know how to face you after everything. I thought you might think she was someone important to me, and I didn’t want to hurt you more than I already had. But running away just made things worse.”

You take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions inside you. "You could have just told me, Jake. I spent these two weeks thinking you hated me or something."

Jake's face softens even more, his eyes pleading. “I'm so sorry, Y/N. I never wanted you to feel that way. To be honest, I was just really scared of losing you. But I've realized that keeping my feelings from you was the worst thing I could have done.”

Your heart races at his words, relief and apprehension filling your chest. "And what are those feelings, Jake? What have you been so afraid to tell me?"

Jake takes a breath, finally ready to tell you what he’s wanted to say for years. It’s now or never. “Y/N, I’m in love with you, and I have been for years. I was scared to tell you because I didn’t know how you would react, and the last thing I wanted was to lose you.” His heart races as the precious words fall from his lips.

You gasp at his sudden confession. You’ve been waiting for this for years and years, and as it’s finally happened, you feel your heart burst with excitement and joy. However, you still feel a fair amount of hesitancy to accept his feelings due to his previous actions.

He watches your face, searching your eyes for an answer. “Jake, I… I’ve waited so long to hear you say that,” his eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the uncertainty in your voice. “But do you understand how much you hurt me by ignoring me for so long?” Your voice trembles with anger and sadness. “How am I supposed to know that you won’t do that if we get into another situation like this? I don’t ever want to go through that again.”

Jake’s eyes fill with regret. “I know, Y/N. I was such an idiot. I thought staying away would somehow protect our friendship, but all I did was make things worse.” He takes a hold of your hands and kneels between your legs, while looking up at you with pleading eyes. “Please, Y/N, I’m so, so sorry. I can’t lose you, I don’t know what I would do with you.”

Your lips part in shock and overwhelm as you can sense the sincerity in his words as a couple of tears slip from your eyes. “Okay, Jake. I believe you. And actually, I’ve loved you for years too. I love you so, so much. But you need to promise me that you’ll never do that again, okay? We need to be there for each other, always.”

Jake’s eyes light up with elation. Under this light, he looks a bit like an excited puppy. How adorable, you think to yourself. “I know, I promise I’ll never do anything like that again. I love you, Y/N. I want to be with you.”

Now that you’re feeling more secure in your relationship with Jake, you finally feel at ease. With him, everything is easy and comfortable. With him, you feel at home. “Well, of course you do. I know I’m hard to resist,” you tease. Jake smiles up at you, happy that you’re back to your normal, witty self. “Yeah, imagine how hard it was for me to hide it for so long,” he replies with a grin.

“Mm, yeah, must’ve been pretty tough,” you nod sarcastically as you gently pull him up by his chin. He beams at you before cupping your face and bringing it closer to him until your lips meet in a tender, soft kiss. You both feel fireworks as your mouths rhythmically move together in waves of passion. The kiss is filled with years of unspoken feelings and promises of a future together.

When you finally pull apart, the room is filled with nothing but sounds of heavy breathing. Jake then rests his forehead against yours. “I love you, Y/N. I won’t let you down again.”

You smile, feeling a surge of warmth spread through your chest. “I love you too, Jake. Just don’t keep me in the dark anymore, okay?”

Jake nods, his eyes shining with love. “Never again. From now on, no more secrets.”

You two lay back on the bed, and Jake pulls you close to his body, letting you rest your head on his chest. You talk late into the night, much like you’ve always done before, the difference being instead of best friends, it’s now a conversation between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. This is all you’ve ever wanted and more.

The sun begins to rise again, painting the sky in shades of pink and gold, just like that night on the rooftop. But this time, there are no unspoken words or missed opportunities. Just the promise of a new beginning for you and Jake, together.

tags: @breadlover01 @en-chantedtomeetyou @14-hibiscus

[un-love]

— afternoon | kmg

mingyu x f!reader

a/n: i wrote this last august and forgot about it. self indulgent asf bc my period is a horror story 💢

“good game, guys. i’m gonna log out now.” putting his headphones aside, mingyu was greeted by complete silence in the house. it had been an hour since he left the bedroom to let you sleep in peace. the week of your period was always a hard time for you. hard is an understatement, really. he couldn't physically understand how you felt but the first time he saw you cry out in pain and struggle to walk yourself to the kitchen, he had decided to be there for you without you ever having to ask for his help; that’s the least he could do after all. the little widgets on his phone notify him of the approaching doom every month without fail, and one might even say he’s as prepared as you now (maybe more).

as he approaches the living room, his ears perk up. he opens the door carefully, and catches you wincing as you try to sit up. you look even worse than how he left you, somehow. sunken eyes and disheveled hair, there really wasn’t any way to romanticize this pain. “why didn’t you call me?”, he whispers and immediately springs into the practiced routine he’s got down. you're too far gone to protest as he props up your pillows, gets you a reheated hot water bottle and orders you to open your mouth as he makes you take your prescribed pain meds. regaining some consciousness after feeling the burn of the hot bag on your skin, you can’t help but smile at the concerned expression on his face as he assesses you. the way his brows furrow and a little pout appears on his soft lips soothes some of the ache in your body.

“what are you smiling at?”, he asks. “you’re just so cute like this. worrying about me and all.” the look he gives you is one of fondness. it’s somewhat relieving for your boyfriend to see you talk like this, despite the state you’re in. he could tell how disoriented you were by the way you hadn’t met his eyes the whole day. “who said i’m worried?”, he says cheekily, before disappearing into the kitchen again.

“i don’t feel good; i think i’m going to throw up”, you call out from your new resting place on the couch, chewing on scraps from the kitchen for lunch. mingyu had asked you to move to the couch (read: carried you) so he could change the sheets and clean up the room a little. it still felt embarrassing to have him take care of you like this, but his kind eyes and kinder hands made you go along with whatever he said.

thinking back, you had tried to avoid seeing him the first few months after you started dating, for this very reason. he knew you were having a hard time with your diagnosis, so he never wanted to push you too much; until the day you had woken up in a pool of blood with him next to you on your bed. you had sobbed endlessly (from frustration, pain, embarrassment) before threatening to poke his eye out with a butter knife if he ever made fun of you for this. this was all very bizarre to your new boyfriend, who grew progressively more concerned for you after that. had someone made you feel bad for something like this before?

a head pokes around the door with a determined expression you could read extremely well. another wave of nausea rocked over your body. “don’t come close to me, kim mingyu. i haven’t showered since yesterday. i stink.” “but you don't know what i’m going to s—” he tries to go on but you cut him off. “the sound of the air conditioner is making my skin crawl.” “but-” “the fabric of my tshirt is touching my skin in the worst ways and the birds won’t stop fucking chirping outside the window and you- you’re here seeing me like this. i want to dig a life sized hole and bury myself in it right now. just go away, please.”

he’s careful when he comes closer to you and stops right before sitting on the couch. “baby, i promise you, nothing about you can disgust me. unless you do something unforgivable like putting milk first in my cereal bowl”, he says, and you finally look at him. success. “and i’ll leave you alone, if that’s what you want. but can i get you something else for the pain or a hot drink first?”

how could you say no to him when he looked at you like that? with those big brown eyes, trying his best to read your face. freshly washed bangs falling into his eyes, and his pretty hand outstretched towards you. your eyes get distracted by his tongue coming out to wet his bottom lip, a nervous habit of his you found adorable. in the split second between his question and your response, you imagined pulling him by the shirt and kissing him breathless. swatting away the (welcome) visual in your head, you let yourself fall against the soft cushions, the fight leaving your body. it's time you let somebody love you.

fin.

[tommykinard6]

Buddie fans, my loves, come have a seat for a moment.

I want to have a chat, from a long time Buddie lover to you, whether you’re new or have been here a long time.

It’s okay.

I’ve been in the trenches with you. I’ve been pulling for Buck and Eddie to get together for years. I haven’t given up, even as I’ve seen other fans leave because they lost hope. I don’t blame them. The Buddie section of the fandom has been powerful and beautiful and all consuming. We’ve gone seven seasons and up until this point, not one of the two men in question was even confirmed to be queer.

But we all need to take a moment and breathe. That’s it. Stop doom scrolling for a moment and breathe in.

Good. Now hold for a moment.

And breathe out.

I’m going to get real here, alright? And you might not like everything I say and that’s ok.

We need to stop being a problem. Stay with me. I’m not saying we need to stop shipping Eddie and Buck. Far from it. I will love that ship forever. I’m not saying we need to stop our fanfics or fanart or our love for these two. Our feelings are valid. Many of us have been in love with these two for a long time. The Buckley-Diaz family is a strong unit.

Our feelings are valid and we feel what we feel. But our reactions are utterly and entirely our own responsibility.

We need to stop the bullying.

Let’s face it, many Buddie fans have also been long time bullies in the fandom. Particularly in regard to the actresses who have played the female love interests in the past. Don’t get me wrong, aside from maybe Ali, I have disliked every love interest introduced. But have we not yet learned to separate actress from character? If we are going to dislike an actress, let’s do it for a valid reason. Marisol’s actress for example is problematic. But many fans have rained hell down upon any woman introduced.

I’ve noticed this issue for a long time. But now we’re dealing with the issue being even more widespread because of Buck/Tommy. Now fans are bullying each other. The fandom is divided, even in what is probably one of the better seasons we’ve gotten (in my opinion). I need you guys to stay with me here.

Buck is bi.

Let’s say that again. Evan Buckley is bisexual. A major character on a major show on a major network, previously a womanizer and still a very masculine figure, is queer.

This is monumental. This is amazing.

But so many of you are letting your feelings about Buddie get in the way of appreciating the progress we’ve made. Especially with the reintroduction of Tommy Kinard, Buck’s love interest.

Let’s clear up a couple of things, shall we? Tommy Kinard is not Sal DeLuca. He is not Captain Gerrard. While he was part of the old 118 and definitely was in the old boys club, not only is he not the major problem, but in most cases that he’s an asshole, it can be traced back to his own secret. It’s not great, sure. But let’s look at the facts. Chimney is friends and still keeps in touch with him. Hen appears to hold no animosity and was clearly comfortable with him. In Bobby Begins, they all are friends. And clearly, Tommy has undergone a massive self-growth period. You cannot try to back up your point with inaccurate facts.

People can change. People can also be forgiven. It’s the prerogative of those involved. Enough said.

“But TK6,” you may say, “Buck should be with Eddie! Tommy is a plot device!”

Let’s set aside instant gratification culture really quick and talk about storytelling. You cannot get everything you want when you want it. You also cannot have your cake and eat it too. Buck and Eddie, if both queer, were never going to come out at the same time. Do we really want that?! Because identity is messy. Self discovery is messy. Eddie has Catholic guilt. Buck has self esteem/worth issues. Life isn’t a fanfiction. The real possibility of their relationship surviving such a transition isn’t all that high. IF Eddie is canonically queer, he’s going to have a rougher path than Buck has had.

Also, everyone is a plot device. Let’s get real. If a character doesn’t move a plot along, what’s the point? YES, Tommy is there for a storyline. That doesn’t in anyway invalidate his existence or his presence in Buck’s life.

If you want an instant Buddie storyline, visit ao3! There are amazing stories on there.

Now let’s talk about Buck/Tommy, or TEvan.

I am a long time Buddie lover. I also proudly ship TEvan. Yes, those can coexist. I don’t often multiship, but it’s a beautiful thing. I want Buddie to be endgame, sure! But I’m also okay if TEvan lasts. If they end up being endgame, will I be disappointed about Buddie? Of course. I will also be thrilled because Buck and Tommy are a sweet couple and I’m here for it.

As a queer woman, I’m happy that Buck is bi. Multisexual representation is still sorely lacking. Male sexuality that lets a man keep his masculinity while being queer? Even more so. Just take a look at the ao3 tag. Buck is emasculated in many fics. That’s why I stopped reading a lot.

We have a ship here that includes two very masculine men, who are emotionally vulnerable and exploring something new. I understand ship disappointment. But the negativity is wild. We need to stop the bullying. We need to stop the cheating storylines. We need to stop making Tommy into an ab*s*r only because we apparently can’t handle a love interest being a good person.

At the end of the day, these are fictional characters. It’s a fictional show. But these are real people. All of us are sitting here behind our screens with real feelings. We need to stop.

Buddie may one day happen. And maybe they won’t. TEvan might be endgame. They might not be. Tis the way of 9-1-1. It’s exciting, isn’t it? Waiting for something new and exciting. It was starting to get a little stagnant.

As a queer person, I’m not trying to gatekeep anyone. However, we cannot sit here and say “stop queerbaiting us!!!!” (They weren’t, we’ve always had queer representation on 9-1-1) “give us more representation” and then when they give it to us say, “NO! Not that way!”

If it was about the representation, it being Eddie or Tommy would matter a lot less.

So if you are someone using representation to shield yourself, kindly just be honest with yourself and everyone else.

In the words of our Lady and Savior Taylor Swift, “You need to calm down”.

Now, back off into the world of scrolling you go, my lovelies. Remember, keep an open mind and breathe. At the end of the day, it’s a show. But I for one will happily wait for every episode because I’m loving this.

[blughxreader]

Ok but I just wanna know how Bruce would feel about knowing that your two new brothers broke some boundaries in the a/b/o fic, like he’s over here trying to make you comfortable in your new family while Dick and Jason are are activating their step sis kink

Haven’t touched much on Brucie in my abo fics, but he’s complacent!

Before “reconnection session,” where Dick and Jason forcibly pack bonded w Batsis, he was growing increasingly worried.

The man’s so kind to the people he saves, but he CANNOT, for the life of him, figure out how to emotionally navigate around you.

He knows he’s the villain in your eyes, so his attempts at kindling a bond with you are immediately hindered. He's tried being gentle, he's tried giving your life comfortable structure and clear expectations, but there's still been no progress.

Bruce is very slow on forcing emotionally binding things on you.

So upon finding out what Dick and Jason did over the weekend, he was... apprehensive.

What made his acceptance easier was because it was DICK who did it. Dick, the universally-accepted heart of the Bats. If anyone knew how to ease you into the family, it was him.

Bruce wasn't happy, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little relieved. (Especially when the pull of the pack bond started making you welcome their intimacy.)

Furthermore, when your body began resisting heat suppressants, Bruce knew he had to find a heat mate for you quickly.

As BEGRUDGINGLY as he accepted this new reality, he admits that having his sons, who he knows inside and out, be your heat mate is the best solution.

Jason has been working hard to curb his Pit Rage and bloodlust (and although he operates differently than Bruce, there aren’t any more duffle bags of heads). But he still has the core values and kindness he did as Robin.

Dick is a non-starter, honestly. Batman says that Nightwing is the cleaner, better version of Batman.

YET Dick also has a nasty habit of bottling up his emotions and being manipulative. Jason, who empathy and emotional perception for days (& who doesnt take shit from anyone), is a good counter.

Overall they’re a good combo that balance each other out. Bruce isn’t happy with the brother to heat-mate to potential husband pipeline, but its not the very worst thing that could happen.

As long as they put your needs before their own, he approves.