#i hope everyone has a good night

[the-blackest-spider]

I didn’t make it on tonight, sorry about that, I’ll try again tomorrow, but I do have some stuff to do. Honestly this week is going to be extremely sporadic unlike the last few days. Also...

(putting below cut for reasons) 

I’m doing better, but I’m still on the struggle bus. Some of it is me, my own head telling me stupid shit and some of it is hormones also telling me and my body stupid shit. I know some of you have been around here long enough to know about the big health scare I had back at the end of 2014 into 2015 and it was mentioned then, that I might start going into pre-menopause and even menopause itself early, well pretty sure I am doing one or the other. I have a long list of symptoms to share with my OBGYN I just need to call and make the appointment, but here’s the thing... I’m kinda terrified and I’m just tired, and stressed for so many more reasons than that and it’s starting to spread into every corner of life. 

I feel like in one group of people I’m not doing enough, I try to do too much and want too much, and that I just need to admit the truth, that I really don’t fit in there, I'm really not necessary, cut my losses and leave. It was fun while it lasted. 

I feel like here, I’m wanting too much, that my ideas are too complicated ( I feel like that all across the board, here on tumblr and elsewhere), I feel like some of my writing choices, things I’ve attempted (whether in the wrong or right ways) have driven people away, and one situation that turned out very badly did drive some people away from me. 

I feel like over all I don’t write things the way I should, and the voices I give to fictional characters are all wrong. That I want to make it all about who I’m writing and I don’t, when I write with others, I want it to be about everyone involved, end of story.

I used to be so eager, so excited and willing to reach out to people new and old around here and now I worry in both cases, will I annoy them, will I come on too strongly, will I do or say something that just ruins everything? 

And in both situations I feel guilty because over the last couple of years, since a particular situation I haven’t been around as much, and when I am around I feel like if I say hi to people or pop into a dis.cord server including ones I’ve made or helped make that I shouldn’t do it, and I should just continue to remain quiet and not even bother trying, because I’ll annoy someone or everyone or say the wrong things or go on too much or be too excited and so on. 

Anyways, if you read this, I apologize. I’m trying very hard not to be this way, it’s a process and maybe it will be one of those things that I’m constantly battling with, maybe I’ll go and get checked out, get some more things to help get my brain and get my hormones under control. I’ve had a lot of good days this past week, so maybe this is just me getting in a bad day, I don’t know.

What I do know, is I’m tired, and I feel aggravated at myself because I know all the things I don’t want to do, I should do and some of the things I want to do, I shouldn’t do at all. 

Anyways, as a line from a favorite book goes, tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it.

[bigxrig]

Thank you to @larrieblr and @neondiamond for tagging me again to do the last line challenge! I have been steadily (and slowly) chipping away at my poly fic.

“I was worried you weren’t going to come so I’m glad you gave it a chance.”

16! Oof okay here we go: @berzerkshires @thebreadvansstuff @parmahamlarrie @kingsofeverything @disgruntledkittenface @allwaswell16 @tommokat @restless-rebels @harryslonecurl @lululawrence @crinkle-eyed-boo @jacaranda-bloom @thinlinez @musketrois @homosociallyyours @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

[dearreader]

mutuals, i am tucking you all in and telling you a bedtime story

[storiesofoko]

In these quiet times of the night, There's no pretending, no mask in sight.

All alone with my thoughts of many, Wishing to fall asleep already.

~Oko

[1800batty]

I am soooo sleepy goodnight <3

[pigeonguy]

i have not been on tumblr in so long and I am very worried about doing an etiquette uh oh whoopsie daisy

[themyscirah]

Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.

Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now

Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.

Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!

Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.

[thecrowslullaby]

an oldish animation I found (that i'm not sure if i posted yet)

[biblically-accurate-dca]

HEYO!! This is such a fun lil section of the inter-webs :DD !! As a fellow biblically accurate enjoyer, I made a lil gift for you! :3c Enjoy!! :DD

Have a great day/evening! :DD

THANK YOU SO MUCH??? YOUR ART IS SO COOL (´；ω；｀) !! AND YOU DRAW THEM SO WELL???

i hope you have a great day too 😭

[kazoologist]

congratulations to Mme. Pascale Leclerc, who has surely just experienced both the funniest and most unhinged weekend a mother could ever have. Dear fucking christ, I hope your middlest son brought you a bottle of champagne for yourself, ma'am.

[sillylittleraccoon]

i love being myself.

[goldenhypen]

guys i was so fortunate and lucky to get to see enhypen irl tonight :’) sooo grateful omg it was so good and i’m going coocoo bonkers crazier than ever rn

[tianhai03]

an accidental detour: part 1

a short little comic where dante gets sent back in time to a familiar place.

[riwooga]

DOL npcs part 6, Monster edition 👀✨

This…..took years off my life 🥲

It was really a struggle of figuring out how humanoid vs monstrous they each should be, but I tried to find a good balance! 🤧

Can I also just say that the Night Monster is severely underrated I cannot stress enough how much I want to romance them 😩💕💕💕

…and here are the close ups 👀✨

[songofstrawhats]

Hi yes hello I cannot stop thinking about Kaya going off to medical school (I think realistically she'd be in more of a private internship situation but GO WITH ME HERE) so she's at med school and her classmates are like ooh girl have you got a special someone we can hook u up if not

And shes like hahaha there is sort of someone he's so sweet and such a fun storyteller he was really there for her after her parents died and they both left home to follow their dreams but they write and she hopes they can make something together someday

And her classmates are alternately like aww how sweet or like babe if you don't wanna go on a blind date you can just say so you don't have to make up a canadian boyfriend

And Kaya is mostly very good at medical school and very helpful when her classmates are figuring out how to study and sometimes she doesn't know basic things about how the world works but they all help each other out and then sometimes she'll do something concerning like stare out into the ocean and say 'oh I hope Usopp is having fun out on the Grand Line'

And they're like ........right okay he's a storyteller isn't he lmao the Grand Line is a metaphor hahahahaha for a moment there I really thought your not!boyfriend was out on the Grand Line for real or something hahahaha

And Kaya's like no i was seriously he actually is, last month he sent me a letter about [insert relevant plot point here idk I'm only at Alabasta]

And her friends are like ...........as a Marine? Kaya please say that your not!boyfriend who has run away to follow his dreams and ended up on the Grand Line joined the Marines. Or that he's lying to you. Kaya please say psych right now

And then they conveniently walk past a wall of wanted posters and Kaya is like OH LOOK THERE HE IS RIGHT THERE!!!! Awwww his bounty has gone up I'm so proud of him ^v^

And her classmates are there just like ......... and reassessing everything they know about her lmao

[bigmammallama5]

do you ever just. yeah.