#i hope i'm not being annoying by documenting this whole process

[thebramblewood]

We are cooking with fire, baby!!! I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get all of these to work because the UV maps are... interesting. But I figured it out because I can be smart sometimes. 😊 The only thing is the texture on the crystal one looks so much nicer in Blender than in game. I might redo the texture file and see if that helps since it was the first one I did.

They also don't play very nicely with MXAO/DOF in Reshade because of the transparency, and I'm not sure if there are ways to fix that because I've seen other meshes do the same thing. Anyway, I am also feeling better about my most recent poses, so I just might be able to finish the scene I'm working on, fix those up, and release everything after all. It'll be a very niche and specific pose pack, but maybe someone will find it useful!

Random screenshot of Morgyn effortlessly giving face in Blender for your time. 💕

[bruh-myguy-what]

If Not Him, Perhaps Me

Let me just say... I hate moving. The whole process has been something else (derogatory). I've not gotten to all of my requests either because of that. I've been in limbo with this moving process for the last four months, but I've finally secured a place and will be moving soon! Anyway, I was able to finish (finally) this chapter! I hope you guys enjoy it! ______________________________________________

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4

Pairing- Thrawn x f!reader x Luke Skywalker

Summary- Life on the Chimera actually...improves a lot. You're surprised by the hospitality shown to you and your relationship with Thrawn starts to change? Hearing from Luke also helps since it's been so long...

Word Count- 3.6K

Warnings- Mentions of kidnapping, confrontation, pining, kissing, nothing major

It'd been weeks since you'd seen Thrawn last, from what you counted, at least. Your idea of time had gotten a little better after being moved into a comfortable room with the ability to govern yourself. There had been a time or two during those weeks that you'd left your room to see if you could visit Thrawn, but you were met with the troopers telling you he wasn't around. The troopers clarified that he was away for business. The news was annoying the first time because you'd wanted to give him a piece of your mind for annotating your art as if it were to be critiqued by someone like him! But by the second and third time you were turned away, you were surprisingly disappointed.

Disappointed and mildly apprehensive…

Though, you would've rather choked on your tongue before conceding that to anyone.

Lying in bed, nestled and wrapped in warm blankets, you were reading a few documents on a datapad one of the troopers had brought you a few days ago. You aimed to learn as much as possible about Thrawn and asking him directly was completely out of the question, but you knew that if you were spending time here you needed to collect as much as you could. The vision of the arrogant expression he'd have if you ever even alluded to any curiosity about him appeared in your mind and you couldn't help but roll your eyes. No. You needed to learn the information without letting him know you were interested and also to be able to take the things you'd find back to your friends to benefit in protecting the New Republic. Sleep was quickly beginning to take you and your eyes began to droop; though, it wasn't long after your eyes had shut that a voice softly called your name. It sounded familiar, soothing. The daze of slumber prevented you from instantly recognizing the voice until they called your name again, imploring you to respond.

"Please, answer me. Hear me."

"Luke…" Your first instinct, even through your groggy state, was to whisper his name. There was no clear insight yet of who was speaking to you until his name left your lips and the voice expressed relief.

"Thank the Force, you're alive. I…I've been so worried. None of my other attempts worked and-and I couldn't feel you for so long. I assumed…" He sounded choked up as his voice withered from your mind. "I thought I'd lost you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Luke apologized profusely, his voice trembling as he appeared to speak from far away. Then you recalled, through your sleep, that he used to do this while away on missions. He'd first initiated it with Leia, to let the two of you know he was okay, but then he began doing it with you as well.

He'd explained it before, once when the two of you had been alone and were appreciating the rare free time out on top of the Falcon; it was what the Jedi called a Force bond. Something he'd never experienced entirely, other than with Leia with whom he'd always had a connection. It was also the moment you thought he would kiss you…but he never did; never had. The attachment rule that he'd learned while in his trials with Yoda consistently stuck with him and it maintained you at a bitter distance from the man you'd fallen in love with.

But right now you didn't care about that distance because being that close to him would've been far more comforting than how far apart the two of you were now. "Luke…" You groggily said again as you shifted around in the large bed, the blankets rustling around you and his soft chuckle echoed in your mind. It warmed your heart to hear, it'd felt so long and you'd nearly forgotten the precious sound.

"It sounds as if you're resting, I'm sorry for bothering you." He taunted lightheartedly, undoubtedly at ease to know you were alright.

You smiled, feeling yourself attempting to reach out to the Jedi Knight as if he were in the room with you. Then you coldly realized you were alone, tucking your arms back into the warm blankets. "Yeah," you answered sleepily, "I've been resting very well lately." The truthfulness in your voice seemed to surprise Luke if the hum that rang in your ears was any sign.

"You are? Have you been saved by someone? Are you alright?" His voice rushed out in apprehension, the questions that'd plagued his mind swirling once more. Why wasn't he able to see you or feel you for so long? What occurred that kept you so barred from his reach?

You sighed as you turned over, stretching a bit, eyes still pleasantly closed. "Mmm, no. Still on the Chimera." Your reply was simple and fearless, entirely sincere with Luke in your half-asleep condition.

"You're still with Thrawn?" His voice was pressing now, "And you're comfortable? He's not hurting you in any way, is he?"

"No, he's been wonderful to me…good man, gave me a nice room, drawing book..'m okay."

Luke was silent for a long time and you'd almost woke up, concerned that he'd left you alone, but you were assured of his company in your mind when he spoke once more in a secure voice. "I'm going to find you and I'm going to save you. I promise. I'm not going to lose you again." Then his voice wanes away again for a moment, though it comes back more delicate than you've ever heard when he utters your name. "I…I-" But Luke stops and clears his throat, "I hope you know how meaningful you are to me…I will not give up on you."

But before you could react, you were aroused by a solid knock on your door, jolting you upright. Luke's voice felt like a distant memory as soon as you were sitting up and glancing around your room, eyes refocusing on your surroundings. Had you dreamed all of that? No. You couldn't have, you've had a connection like that with Luke before you'd been aboard the Chimera. But why hadn't you heard from him until now?

The knock at the door roused you again, so you slid out of bed to walk over and press the release button only to be met with a trooper with a plate full of food. And this time the food looked fantastic. "Oh, thanks." You responded in astonishment as he passed the tray over. He replied with a brief 'you're welcome' and began to walk away but not before you called out to him again. "Uh! Sorry, forgive me. I-I was just curious…"

"About what ma'am?" He questioned, evidently he was being patient but had someplace else to be and he wasn't a trooper you were presently familiarized with; there'd be time for that late though.

Glimpsing at your tray full of food, your cheeks burned despite yourself. "Have you possibly heard if the Grand Admiral is back from his business, or not?" The query sounded pitiful even to you, but you couldn't very well have the man who was the sole retainer of the Empire to go off and die without any warning.

That was it, no other reason.

Your cheeks were warming because the heat in the hall of the Chimera was too much. Again; no other reason.

The uncertain sound made by the soldier caused you to look at his impassive helmet. "Uh, no ma'am. The Grand Admiral hasn't returned yet. We aren't sure when he'll be back, he has work to do elsewhere and will return whenever he's concluded that." Then his helmet tipped slightly as if inspecting you and a slight chuckle crackled through his modulator. "But don't worry so much, he's surprisingly resilient. He'll come back in one piece. We serve the most brilliant and adept man in all of the Empire. If someone could prevail over anything, it'd Grand Admiral Thrawn." He clarified and with a nod then left, and you bashfully took refuge back into your room, the door closing behind you with a whoosh.

You griped bitterly to yourself, "I wasn't worried about that blue idiot…how could I be worried about him? He's an ass anyway." But the lingering apprehension in your chest said otherwise.

Another week had gone by and you'd troubled the troopers outside your door every one of those days, requesting an update about Thrawn and his whereabouts. There was no way he was going to abduct you, treat you like a captive, then regard you with interest and compliment you, shower you with gifts, and then go off and die on some random planet! You'd bring the damned Chiss man back yourself if only to give him a piece of your mind for being so rude.

Though with a continued shadow of Thrawn's expected return, you had to entertain yourself in other ways; keeping your mind busy. So, you were standing by the window, watching the stars and TIE fighters training. Thrawn had explained to you previously that they were a project he held in high esteem, something he truly believed would do the Empire well. They looked as if they were doing spectacularly too. To your eye, they handled a lot better than some of the pilots of the Republic… But you didn't have too long to dwell on that before you'd overheard out in the hallway- over the intercom- that Thrawn's personal vessel was docked and unloading its passengers.

Feeling your heart leap in your chest at the announcement and instead of waiting around to figure out why, you ran out the door; blowing past the two troopers. As you ran down the hall, passing by troopers and Chimera crew, you neglected their baffled stares and carved your way toward the docking bay. Though on your way you saw a familiar tall blue figure, it was him. Thrawn was standing at his office door about to head inside until he heard hasty footsteps bee-lining in his direction.

Fiery red eyes peeked in your direction first, before ultimately turning his head to watch you frantically trail toward him. Your heart raced as you eventually made it to him, the admiral looking down at you with a single brow lifted and the touch of a smile at the corner of his mouth. Your cheeks burned as you gazed up at him, but you blamed it on the brisk pace you'd opted for to reach Thrawn. Out of breath, your chest heaving slightly from the labored breathing, Thrawn's eyes returned to the door as it opened, "Perhaps you would like to join me in my office?" It was poised as less of an inquiry and more of an assertion as he walked into the dark corridor where you joined him. Surprisingly there were no unwelcomed remarks from the darkness as there usually had been, though your eyes still searched around for any sign of the creature.

"Rhuk is recuperating from our mission, he is not present with us, at this moment." Thrawn's cool voice expressed through the shadows and as you glanced at him to ask how he'd known what you were thinking, you caught a peek of his glowing eye over his shoulder as he observed you. "Your thoughts are easier for me to read than you may think." Though there was typically a chill to his voice, a remote remnant of detachment lingering underneath, it felt strangely… warm with that last sentence.

Once the door finally released the two of you into his office, Thrawn wasted no time in returning to his side of the desk and you approached the chair you sat at during your sessions. The annoyance instantly took over once again, "Where have you been?! It's been weeks!" You spoke without genuinely considering and the smirk that suddenly sat on his face made you mourn opening your mouth, your head sinking to cover your maddening blush.

Thrawn was quiet for a prolonged moment, creating an even more unnerving situation because you knew- you just knew- he was analyzing you as he did when he thought something was intriguing. "As I have heard it," He finally began to talk again but it wasn't making anything any more painless, the blatant smugness in his tone causing the burning in your cheeks to rush up your ears. "You were rather concerned about my unannounced absence."

"I wasn't that concerned!" You bit back quickly, lifting your head to scowl at him for his arrogance but were hushed by the raise of his brow, as if challenging you to prove him inaccurate in his observations.

"Were you not?" Thrawn queried rhetorically as he sat back in his seat, reclining far more casually than you appreciated for the circumstances. "Please, clarify for me then. Why were my troopers in rather steady communication with me, telling me about your continued inquiry of my whereabouts?" His voice was curious but mockingly so, and entirely too soft as his eyes appeared to admire you from across his desk.

You swallowed at the accusation, understanding you had no rebuttal, and instead clutched at your elbows, crossing your arms over your waist awkwardly; evading his burning gaze. "Y-You left before I could give you a piece of m-my mind-"

And his unexpectedly too affectionate voice cut you off mid-sentence, "About what, may I ask?"

You were caught off guard by his simple question, eyes coming back to meet his. The dominance he was maintaining over you at the moment wasn't one he'd used before; he wasn't trying to intimidate you, nor was he trying to exploit you. Thrawn's power came entirely from how much you had thought about him while he was away. You'd first considered how furious you were with him, how he'd treated you as if gifts would make you give up your friends, but then you began thinking about how he'd quit regarding you as a prisoner; opting to give you more freedom, and more respect. Thrawn was curious about you and consistently genuine in his queries as you spent more time with one another. Then you'd found your mind lingering on his eyes, the way his brows were the most expressionate part of him but if you observed closely enough you could see the shift of sentiment in his eyes. Thrawn was small in his mannerisms but he appeared to open himself up more to your company lately and allowed you to see past the stoic behavior.

"Have you perhaps forgotten whatever it was that you were going to chastise me over, hmm?" The soft underlying tease in his voice brought you back to your present reality and you huffed indignantly at his arrogant expression.

"Hardly." You complained as you turned your head away stubbornly. "As if I could forget why you piss me off. You seem to enjoy bugging me." Thrawn seemed to find your retort comical because he chuckled, staggering you slightly. You'd never heard him sound so…pleasant. It was hardly a lively sound, more as if he were taunting you but even still, it was the closest thing you'd heard to spirit from the Chiss man. Your eyes widened at the sound, watching intently as he shook his head and began to stand once more; neatening his admiral coat.

He rounded the desk, his hands ever positioned behind his back as his steps felt calculated, gradually coming toward you. "Then, please, continue. I am rather fascinated to hear what I've done to incur your outrage, my lady." His voice was unfairly warm, matching how his eyes bore into yours, glancing down to appreciate the rest of you only once or twice.

You were losing all of your built-up frustrations as the subject of your anger approached so calmly, tension building with each step he took toward you. The buzzing in your mind only intensified as you caught his eyes favoring you. "I-I…you…" You swallowed cautiously then cleared your throat to regain your composure, closing your eyes and breaking the rapidly building connection that made your stomach ache in an unfamiliar way. After a moment, you trusted yourself to speak finally and you leveled the approaching man with a lethal glare. "You annotated my art as if I asked for your commentaries." With every word, Thrawn took a step closer, the smile leaving his face the nearer he grew. "Then you ran off without allowing me to tell you how stupid your observation of my work even was. I didn't know if you were going to die or-"

"Would that have troubled you so greatly if I had?" Thrawn's voice was hushed and low, but cold as usual. Standing directly before now, his impressive height towered, eyes keenly observing you.

You made a vexed sound and rolled your eyes at the ludicrous question. "Don't flatter yourself, Thrawn. I just didn't want to miss my opportunity to set you straight before you died." But then you look back at him and are frozen by how close he'd gotten, inclining closer to your face.

The air around the two of you was electric as Thrawn admired your face up close; so close that his breath fanned over your lips causing a warm shutter to race up your spine. He was quiet, silently surveying you and you couldn't help catching how his eyes fell to your lips multiple times; the realization making your stomach flip. His proximity was overwhelming, drowning you in him wholly. His broad shoulders obstructed anything else from your sight, the way he leaned over you trapping you in place though nothing behind you was preventing you from running away if you wanted.

But you found that you didn't want to.

His presence was intoxicating this close.

"Allow me to speak now," Thrawn whispered, his voice sounding gentle despite how confidently he said it. His fiery eyes searched your face before he spoke again, possibly waiting to see if you would stop him from voicing his thoughts but when you didn't, he persisted. "Would it surprise you to know as I was on your mind, so were you on mine?"

The admission sends your heart into a frenzy. What does that even mean? What did he mean, you were on his mind? It felt as if he were communicating in riddles that you couldn't fully decipher and the vague meanings would be incredibly humiliating if you were to assume. So you stood there wide-eyed and lips slightly parted to steady your labored breathing, waiting for any explanation but rather you were met with a cool touch as the knuckle of Thrawn's finger brushed against your warm cheek. "This knowledge does surprise you." He stated matter-of-factly at your speechlessness, the delicate caress passing down the soft line of your jaw and allowing him to take hold of your chin, between his finger and thumb delicately. "I cannot help but find my unfamiliarity in these matters rather displeasing, as I assumed my intentions would have been made clear by this point."

"I-Intentions?" You questioned dumbly, brows upturned in surrender, "I thought you wanted to know more about the New Republic an-and Luke…that was all I was here for." The unstable whisper that left your lips signaled your uncertainty at Thrawn's next move.

Sighing narrowly, Thrawn rose to his full height once more and allowed his hand to fall away from your face; to which you let out an audible gasp at the loss of contact. "Indeed I aimed to gather details about Skywalker through you, as you appeared important to him. Though, as your tenacity and overall insolent attitude toward me continued I found myself…" He paused momentarily, contemplating his words, "Curious about you. Your boldness to defy the orders of an Imperial Grand Admiral is as brilliant as it is reckless, though, I can't help but find myself drawn by your full refusal to recognize my endeavors at rapport. I spoke to my troopers on numerous occasions to see if they could understand why it was that you were so uncompromising against my advances though seemed so agreeable with them-"

"Wait-" You interrupted him, jerking your head side to side to get your thoughts back after being so enamored with his attention. "You asked-"

"My troopers, yes." Thrawn concluded your sentence for you with a simple shrug. "Is it so unlikely that I would pursue the guidance of those in better regard with you about your preferences?"

"W-Well no…b-but-" Then it hit you; what Danvers had said before, about you being Thrawn's favorite aboard the Chimera, and your cheeks flushed once again. "So…what you're saying is…" You trailed off, expecting Thrawn to finish the sentence again for you.

Thrawn took to your hint fast and the corner of his lip quirked barely, "Perhaps I persist to fail in making myself clear." He conceded then leaned back into your space as he had earlier, stealing the breath from your lungs at the closeness.

"I-I wouldn't mind you saying it clearly so I don't make a fool of myself for guessing…" You implored quietly, lashes fluttering a few times.

Thrawn smiled now, showing the beautiful white of his teeth, contrasting against his blue skin, his red eyes narrowing delightfully as he stepped the last few inches closer to diminish the space between you. "It would see my words fail me in this moment and rather actions would be far more suitable."

And with the last delicate words of his spoken, Thrawn's chilled lips descend upon your awaiting ones in a soft display of his withheld admiration.

[damnation-if]

Hi, I just played the demo and I loved it! I was wondering if you could give us an estimate of when the next update is coming?👉👈 (Or link a relevant post, if you already talked about and I just didn't scroll down far enough to see it 😆)

Also, I wanted to check, can you be in a romantic relationship with more than one character, and not just a sexual one? Because I might be in love with every single character in this game 🤭

hi, thank you! i'm glad you're enjoying the game :) i've answered the question about romancing multiple characters a couple of times in a couple of different asks but the posts all kind of link back to each other so you should be able to find all the info by. following the various links in each ask i think, starting here XD

i'm going to put the answer to your other question under a cut because some of it is quite emotional for me

i did Sort Of talk about this at the time when it happened, by which i mean that rather than making a post, i talked about it in the tags of an unrelated post i was using to distract myself (i think it was character playlists and how i'm not sure if it's a good idea to do them or not if i recall), but earlier this year while i was already going through a really rough time, my laptop died and i lost a lot of work on the game.

i knew my laptop was old and that this was possibly approaching so i made regular backups and the good news is that because i write in a separate word document and keep backups of those also i didn't actually lose any Writing. however. my twine has a problem in that every second or third game file that i publish from the build is Haunted - it contains passages i removed weeks ago, or writing that i deleted long before publishing it, that kind of weird annoying shit. (other authors have seen my files do this lmfao) and i just have to hope that the backups i make either won't be needed or aren't haunted. anyway... because hope is futile, the last backup i made was indeed haunted, and utterly useless to me as a recovery file. because it's just twine, i still have all the writing, as i mentioned... but i would have to re-code the entire chapter and put it all back together again because of how much the file did not export, which is a complicated and daunting process.

so i made a rambling explanation of this in the tags of a post and decided to take maybe a couple of days off and cool down from this specific disaster before getting into it.

i wake up the next morning to find the IF community absolutely plastered all over with Helpful Informative PSA posts about how Silly it is not to make backups and how if you just make backups you'll never have problems again and you should know better than to not make backups.

now. i'm not a catastrophist. i know for a fact that nobody was making or spreading these posts out of cruelty or a desire to make me feel bad. i also know that it's not particularly realistic to expect people who don't even know me to hunt down the source of a piece of hearsay that's like "i heard from someone that someone said that an author lost a bunch of their files and is really upset about it" to find out what the situation is and whether or not it's what they imagine. i don't even think the vast majority of people knew who it was that was the author involved, or who i am either.

but to already be going through an extremely stressful time and then lose my laptop on top of that and then be obliquely referenced by people i thought of as my peers as kind of just a big silly bumbling goose who didn't know how to manage my files and a "don't be like this person" attitude really, really hurt me. i can't express just how deeply it hurt me. one particular author was openly laughing at me and saying it was my own fault for being too stupid to make backups using a certain twine peripheral program.

so. there was a period of time where i could have found the motivation to just restart the whole chapter myself and re-code it in a frenzy because i wanted to get right back into writing it because. like a lot of authors, i LOVE writing. that's why i do this even when it's difficult. but that potential recovery was sandblasted away by the reactions of people that i thought of as my colleagues in some sense (even though i understand that they didn't do it with bad intentions, in most cases). and i hope people can understand that it greatly lengthened the amount of time i needed to spend away from the game recovering emotionally, despite being a Very Small issue to most people. i'm literally upset again just typing out this answer lmfao

however one other small piece of good news is that my laptop seemingly just lost the ability to turn itself on (because of its age) so i Think the hard drive is intact. meaning that i think i can get someone to pull all the files off it and just have them back fine once i do. the other piece of bad news is that my life is a trainwreck! and i cannot afford that right now. which is why i sort of pivoted to writing the 2000 follower celebration sidegame as a way to enjoy myself while i hurtle through hell sdjgbdfhfdgh

shortly after this thing with the laptop the house i was living in was sold out from underneath me, even though it wasn't supposed to be, and i had to find somewhere to live with my 18 year old cat, but the city i lived in had zero places that would allow cats (they're totally fine with Dogs though of course) so i had to move to an entirely new city on my own while worrying about her health. and right now i spend every fortnight desperately trying to scrape together enough to survive the next fortnight. there were entire months where i had no access to internet! it's been pretty Bad!!

so i get that people really want updates, and i'm really flattered that people do and it makes me happy that people like the game so much. but i am currently expending so much time and energy trying not to die lmfao, and i need to save up the money to get my files back around that. i truly cannot tell you when the next update will be, but i promise you that it Haunts me, probably more than you can imagine XD the sidegame will Definitely come out before it though, if that's something you're looking forward to.

thank you again for your message, and i'm sorry that i don't have good news for you. but i am trying, constantly. every day.

[angellayercake]

did anyone ask for "i hate writing" yet?? I'm terribly curious what that could be!

I am sorry I am only seeing this now. I'm not sure if it is me being incompetent or Tumblr or both but anyway 🙃 apologies!

'I hate writing' is my working document for Banchetto because writing it (or not writing it as the case usually is) stresses me out so much! I know I haven't updated in forever but I genuinely am still chipping away at it. I am just way too overinvested in this story and although it is all planned out in full actually getting from outline and draft to finished is a difficult process haha

But saying that I do have something finished from the next chapter so here it is a treat/apology 💜

The shift was subtle at first as you had spent a great deal of time in his rooms anyway. In a matter of days that time grew longer and longer until you rarely left on more than an errand from morning to evening. He would ask you to sit with him as he worked, join him for meals, linger in the kitchen as you prepared and even once attempting to help you clean the dishes. That is until he ended up dropping a plate in his inattention, the resounding crash making your heart skip a beat in a much less pleasant way then it usually did around him. You couldn’t even begin to be annoyed with him though, his apologetic puppy eyes forcing you to let him off with only a banishment to the kitchen table and a kiss to the tip of his nose. 

Affection was easier now, not always so underlined with that awkward tension you had almost become used to. He liked to touch you. To lace your fingers together across the table when you ate, rest his hand on your waist when you stood together, play with a lock of your hair as you spoke, press a chaste kiss to hand or your cheek in passing. You had been hesitant at first to return his affection so boldly but the way he would glow when you reached for him first, his wide smile emphasising your favourite creases at the corners of his eyes, was enough to override your self consciousness. 

There was still tension there, hot little frissons if you look into his eyes a bit too long or his body rests a little too close. Part of you wants to chase it but there was no need to rush. You chose to relish in this period of getting to know each other better, talking about your likes, dislikes, views and opinions. Other times it is like you just wanted to exist together. It is comfortable in a way you never imagined you could be with him but you are more sure now than ever that ‘Papa Emeritus III’ who had led the Ghost project and the church was only a very superficial part of who he was. 

There’s a childlike glee in him every time he tells you stories of his life peppered with ridiculous puns and dorky jokes that feels so far removed from the persona you had though you had known previously. And yet you can see how he thrived as a performer and took to that role so naturally. He puts his whole self into recreating the tale he is telling with animated hands, exaggerated expressions and often silly voices whether he is talking about his misspent youth, rising through the clergy ranks or touring adventures. You would start to feel very uninteresting in comparison until he would start to tease stories from you. Your worst cooking disasters that have him crying with laughter and disbelief that you could ever make a potato explode. But when he asks you of your family and your childhood you see a sad wistfulness in his expression that makes your heart hurt and you hope that one day he might open up about some of the harder parts of his life as well. 

[zippverschluss]

ep 9 notes

haven't checked the tag yet, need to sort through / document my thoughts first.

i'm a bit... disappointed, i guess? but i think that's owed to my expectations. after a week of collective theorizing i was (not so) secretly hoping for a sauruman VS gandalf style face off and so what we got felt a bit... pedestrian?

so i guess the gardener did hurt him after all, just not the 'shears-in-your-body' kind of inury? i honestly thought he'd stick to stalking.

speaking of which, i'll be disappointed if it's really garden dude using nayeon and not the other way round. nayeon being skilled in black magic and just using / playing men left and right to reach her own various ends and satisfy her needs would have elevated the character immensely. feels a bit disrespectful tbh.

speaking of disrespect, i suspected as much, but still... how can they have the mother not know? like honestly? how can her asshole husband tell the woman his son just broke up with about the illness but not his wife? i reeeaaally want hj to hex him... like, make him step on a lego everyday of his life. or have shampoo get into his eyes. something like that.

back in ep. 3 when sy saw hj in the dress and just last episode, we focused on his right hand. same happend during the proposal scene in ep. 5 and yesterday in the hospital with nayeon. i guess that holds significance?

were sy and ny ever intimate with each other?

i liked how they filmed the nightmare hj had.

also, how ambigious jg still feels. though i'm leaning towards ally who hasn't realized yet that he missed his shot. (also, does jg know the mayor is dirty? the mayor is dirty, right? playing footsie with the haum ceo? is that why he poached sy? to take on the mayor? and if he doesn't know, doesn't that just really undercut his character?)

did garden dude hit sy with some magic to make him black out? did that magic bring back his past memories? i thought he remembered when he woke up in the hospital.

but then i really don't understand the artistic decision process behind the scene in front of the hospital. that scene made (makes) me think i must be mistaken? how can he remember loving / killing her 300 years ago and the first thing he asks about is the in house messenger? (yeah, i know, he wanted her to go back on her word...) but even if he wanted to not let on, where were the longing / pining / loving eyes from last episode? the whole thing just felt very bland and weird.

also, poor rowoon. they obvs. didn't find hospital pants long enoug for him.

also, pls. don't push sick / hospitalized people. you don't know what tubes / needles they have sticking in or out of them. drama writers, find other ways to initiate physical touch. (just as lazy as drunk alley dude in ep 2).

i cared about ma and go for the first time. that scene was funny. i don't appreciate that once again show insinuates that a man is needed to keep a home in order, but since ma is freshly divorced it is plausible. for a moment i thought he was gonna choke her out or pass out himself. lol

also, re the hug, 'what kind of man asks that beforehand?'. the kind that respects boundaries and gives you the chance to say no? uncool ma, uncool show.

i guess no tentative friendships at work, but passive-aggressiveness?

loved the fireworks and the traditional music. was my favourite part of the episode. that slapped. wished they would have kept that music for the romantic scene.

there's still the option that him wholeheartedly embracing his feelings for hj brought upon the past memories. in which case that must be one long-ass hug. still, i'd prefer that scenario over the hospital-dream one. embracing his feelings because he remembers cheapens it a bit imo. its prob. the latter though seeing how he asked his mom about past lives.

his parents' bickering is getting on my nerves.

this episode felt really disjointed. i understand the cuts / edits were to not reveal too much, but at this point i'm just really annoyed by it.

for that reason bridge scene didn't have the impact it prob. should have had since i wasn't really sure what was going on?

spell scene too short, dress not as strange / pretty. but loved the music. also, what spell did she use? seduction?

i liked the child actors surprisingly much. i liked it even more that already as a child she had shaman capabilities.

i know tall people fall in love too, but man those hugs looked uncomfortable.

there's many other thoughts in my head but lastly: i guess only him remembers the past out of the two of them. i don't like that. at all. after 8 episodes it finally felt like they were on somewhat even footing when it came to knowledge about magic, spells, curses.... having only him remember once again means he knows more and is the proactive one, whereas she is only reacting and being driven by him. (but, if only him remembers, how can we as an audience see the things that only she can know? being brought to the shaman as a child? her premunition of the bloody hand?)

on that note, i hope the next kiss is initiated by hj. would be nice to see her express her desires / feelings. 3 kisses in and it's always him planting one on her. reciprocity is hot!! gimme gimme gimme!

[nagisadelune]

Promise Rings Chapter 7

(Definitely not edited)

Previous: Promise Rings Chapter 6

Back at it again with another chapter of Promise Rings! I once again apologize for not posting this earlier. I know that I even have the whole thing written, so all I need to do is copy and paste onto here; however, work just increases at times, and I'm currently in the middle of that work peak. These are going to be slowly coming out, but hopefully I can still release these more consistently.

Anyways, we are only about a tenth through the original document. (Yeah, we've only gotten through 10% of the entire thing.) That's crazy to me because there are people who are actually reading it, so thank you guys for that! Alright, it's time for the new chapter, so I hope you enjoy this one!

⭐⭐⭐

Age: 15

“I don’t get it though! Why do I have to be teammates with him?” I asked, slightly aggravated from the surprise encounter with the small boy from middle school. I think his name was Hinata? “It’s not like we’re going to play together all the time, right?” I questioned again as she could only sigh at my thought process. “What is it?” I knew she wanted to say something but wouldn’t let herself unless I stopped. I watched her eyes stare into mine as she seemed to be thinking.

“Just because there’s a possibility that you might not be playing at the time, that doesn’t give you a reason to not try to be friends with him,” she reasoned calmly, and I could only bite the inside of my lip at her words. I knew she was right. She was always right about these things.

“But Karin-chan,” I started whining slightly. She glared at me as she knew what I was trying to argue back with her.

“I get that you’re not exactly sure how you can get close to Hinata after the whole third year thing, but you need to at least tolerate him,” she scolded me, and I stared at my hands. “Plus, I see no problem with getting a new partner to spike your serves,” she reasoned again, and I could only huff in anger. I didn’t want her to be right. “You also need friends that aren’t me because I know for a fact that people are going to get the wrong idea,” I heard her mumble as I looked up to see her playing with her friends.

“But this kid seems annoying,” I sighed, trying to excuse myself from having to be friends or at least acquaintances with him. “And I don’t need other friends,” I mumbled more to myself as the conflicts started to make me question my behavior.

“Just because he’s annoying, that doesn’t mean you can’t at least tolerate him enough to spend a lot of time with him,” she sighed out. “This is high school; we should try to at least be different by the end of it.” I felt my shoulders drop, letting her input mesh with my reasoning. I sighed knowing that her reasoning made more sense than my irrational thoughts in this current moment.

“But how do I become friends with him?” I asked her, giving into her opinion. “I had three years to get close to my teammates in Kitagawa Daiichi, but here we are.” I heard her take a deep breath as a silence fell over us. Even though I felt slightly uncomfortable with her being so silent, I let it sit for her to think.

“I think that’s something for you to figure out, Tobio-kun,” she responded, breaking the silence. I glared at her as she seemed to refuse to give me an answer. When she felt my gaze on her, she glared back at me. “You need to get better at getting closer with people,” she bluntly stated, and I could only shy away at her statement.

“Why do I need to do that when I have you?” I quietly muttered to myself, but she somehow heard me. She huffed out, her way of trying to calm down from yelling.

“Because we both know that I can’t always be with you,” she answered simply. I sighed as I watched her eyes drift to her hands, knowing how she felt about the statement. Her fingers played with each other as she seemed like she wanted to avoid the topic or just the mere thought of being separated. I guessed it was only because we have been close together all this time, so it would’ve been weird to be apart, right?

~~~

“Hey Karin-chan!” I heard a faint voice call from a distance. I stopped and turned my head to the source of the sound to see Tobio rushing up to me in his uniform, his black volleyball team jacket hanging from his arm. I completely turned around before waving at him. He stopped in front of me, his hand on his bag.

“What’s up, Tobio-kun?” I questioned, tilting my head slightly. I watched his cheeks turn red, most likely from running around so much.

“Look at the new jackets they have!” he excitedly pointed out, lifting up the jacket. I chuckled at his behavior as I admired the simplicity of the jacket. “Oh wait!” he calls out. Looking up at him confused, He holds the jacket out behind me, motioning me to put it on. Hesitantly, I slipped my arms through the sleeves, my fingers just barely being exposed. Tobio’s hands slightly adjusted the jacket onto me before he zipped the zipper up.

“Why am I wearing it?” I questioned him as he was beginning to roll up the sleeves. For a moment, he didn’t answer, concerning me about his real intentions.

As he patted my head, he answered, “Because I don’t have somewhere to put it. And also because you always complain you’re cold.”

“They blast the AC, I swear!” I retorted, gaining some warmth inside the jacket. Somehow, the jacket already smelled like him even though he just got the jacket yesterday evening. After he zipped up the jacket, he began to walk away. For a moment, I stared at his figure before I called out, “Boke, your uniform!” He turned towards me, confused at my call. Walking over to him, I looked at his collar and shirt; as per usual, it appeared a little untidy. I felt his eyes on me as I buttoned up one more button on his shirt and smoothed his collar down. When I looked up at him, I noticed him staring down into my eyes, and I quickly looked away and rubbed the back of my head. I felt my cheeks warm up, probably from the cold. “Anyways,” I start again, awkwardly chuckling, “let’s get going? It’s getting a little cold.” He hesitantly nodded before walking with me into the building.

I swore, every time we walked in anywhere, eyes were literally watching us. I got the normality to look at the person who just entered, but their gaze was different from the various identity questions; it looked like they were looking at some popular couple, and there was no good way to fully explain the feeling. With our conversation, I could feel their piercing gazes into my back as I laughed at one of Tobio’s jokes.

“Oi,” I called out after glancing at the time on my watch, “you’re going to be late if you don’t start walking over now.” He rolled his eyes as we continued walking towards my classroom. For some reason, he started walking me to all of my classes ever since he found out that some of the seniors were bothering me for my number. Tobio is strange sometimes. 

“I insist on walking you to your desk,” he responded to my reminder. Right, they would bother me until I sat down at my desk. We arrived at my classroom and walked over to my desk before he decided to finally leave. “I’ll see you during break?” he confirmed as he was adjusting his bag. Nodding, he gave me a small smile before patting my head and running off to class. I began getting ready for class as I heard some steps approaching me.

“Yamaji-san!” one girl’s voice called out. I looked up from my desk to see my deskmate, Kimura-san, approach me. Waving at her, she sat down on the desk beside me before she questioned, “Are you dating anyone?” For a moment, I hesitate at her words; why would she ask me something like this?

Looking up for a moment, my gaze shifted to Kimura-san who was staring at me before responding, “No, why?” I watched her think for a moment before she formed her response.

“Oh, I thought you were dating Kageyama-san,” she responded as she was rummaging through her desk for her workbooks. For a moment, my heart skipped a beat when I heard his name. Looking at her, I stared in disbelief. This is what people were thinking about whenever they saw us together?

“O-oh, Tobio-kun and I are just really close friends,” I responded to her answer, trying to cover up my little stutter. Crap, she’s going to notice. “We’ve been friends since preschool, and we see each other as brother and sister,”  I continued, hopefully covering up my little mishap.

“Ah, is that the case?” Kimura-san answered. “But here you are wearing his jacket?” Kimura-san pointed out. I glanced away for a moment, trying to come up with an excuse for the jacket.

“He just lent me the jacket for a bit since I kept forgetting mine,” I answered, trying to not have anything suspicious against me. “And because I’m always cold,” I muttered quietly, hoping that she didn’t hear my voice.

“So you guys have a platonic relationship?” she questioned as she turned her head towards me. Nodding, she then proposed, “Then maybe you can introduce me to him. He is pretty cute.” Shocked by her answer, I stared at her. This has happened in the past where a girl would want to get close to Tobio through me, but most of the time he would reject them anyway. However, I felt my heart do something in my chest when she mentioned wanting to get to know Tobio; I shouldn’t have to feel like this since he was his own human being. He’s free to do what he wants, but why do I not want her to get to know him?

“I’m not sure you want to try and date him, Kimura-san,” I answered cautiously. “His only main focus is volleyball, so I wouldn’t recommend it.” At least I didn’t completely lie about it: Tobio really does focus a lot on volleyball, on and off the court. Waiting for a response, I decided to take a sip of water from my canteen.

“Are you just saying that because you like him?” Kimura-san suddenly questioned. I choked on my water for a moment before coughing. Glancing at Kimura-san, her eyes stared at me intently, expecting an answer. 

“N-No,” I stuttered in a short response. Stupid stuttering. “I just know him well enough to know his reaction,” I explained as a way to cover up  the stutter that I briefly obtained. She glanced amused at me before she burst out giggling. Looking at her with confusion, she finally calmed herself down enough to talk.

“Oh my god,” she managed to get out between laughs, “Megumi-san was right. You are really obvious.” I stared at her in disbelief as I watched her hold her stomach and squat over the ground.

“I am not!” I felt the heat in my cheeks rise and redden as I tried to defend myself, “and also, I don’t like Tobio-kun in that way!” Kimura-san started laughing even harder as she processed my words.

“Don’t think I don’t see the way you guys look at each other!” she responded. Placing my hands into my face, I felt the cold of the ring against the skin on my face, and my face started to cool down slowly. Once she finally calms down, she takes a deep breath before adding quietly, “Plus no one even thinks about trying to approach you two anymore because of that.” Wanting to ask her what she meant by that statement, my train of thought got cut off by the bell ringing. I listened to my classmates scramble to their seats as the teacher walked into the room. Getting comfortable in my chair, I placed my face inside the jacket and inhaled Tobio’s scent, feeling my exhale warm my face again. Do I like him, or do I love him? Questionable.

~~~

I hated periods with a passion with the amount of cramps I got from just existing. I curled up in my bed as my hands clutched onto the blanket. I would’ve gotten up to grab an Advil, but I used the last one last month and forgot to buy more. As I began punching my pillow from the pain, my phone began to vibrate on the bedside table. I reached over to grab it, revealing that Rei-chan was calling me. I tried to hold back the pain as I answered the phone.

“Hey, what’s up?” I questioned as I felt myself curling into myself.

“Where are you?” she asked as I heard the girls’ team practice in the background. I could only nervously chuckle before I answered.

“Cramps,” I simply stated, knowing that she would know exactly what I meant. “I have no pills to relieve them too.” I heard her sigh on the other end of the phone. I didn’t receive an immediate response, so I waited for her to say something back; she seemed to be talking to someone else with her.

“Alright then,” I heard her voice a little louder as she seemed to return to the call. “Do you want me to stop by with some Advil?” she questioned as she seemed to rummage through her bag.

“No, you live in a different direction, so don’t worry about it,” I answered and reasoned, knowing well enough that I just need one pill in order to relieve the pain. However, the pain was still bearable enough to not be completely immobilized.

“Fine, but I’ll ask Kageyama-san to go check on you,” she answered as I could imagine the smirk on her face. I rolled at my eyes, knowing what the tone of her voice meant.

“Okay, fine. Good luck at practice,” I responded before I quickly ended the call. I placed the phone beside me as I tried to hold out on the pain. A minute later, I heard the front door open and shut quickly before footsteps pounded against the floor. The door suddenly opened, revealing a sweaty Tobio.

“Okay, why is Rei-san spamming me with messages to come check on you?” he questioned as he studied my appearance. “Did you get sick or something?” he muttered quietly as he sat on the bed beside me.

“I just have cramps, Tobio-kun,” I answered as he briefly placed his hand on my forehead to take my temperature. I blushed at the gesture but covered it up as I calmed myself down. “She was probably just overexaggerating it,” I muttered as he stared at me in confusion. When he processed my words, he sighed in relief as he laid on my bed.

“She texted me like you were about to die,” he answered as he finally managed to catch his breath. I laughed at his reaction to her text.

“What were you expecting from Rei-chan?” I questioned as I turned towards him carefully, trying to ignore the pain.

“Everything she said,” he answered as he sat up after a few breaths. He ran his hand through his hair as he seemed to space out. I lightly smacked his head to bring him back to reality. He shot a glare at me as he slightly rubbed his head. “Well, what do you want to do?” he questioned as he sat cross-legged on my bed. “I didn’t run here with food and stuff just for you to kick me out after,” he explained as he knew that I would kick him out.

“Don’t you have practice though?” I questioned as I checked the time.

“Cancelled,” he quickly answered. “Everyone needs a break after our practice matches from yesterday.” I nodded my head as I looked down at my hands to think of some activities. “What should we do about your cramps though?” he questioned as he eyed me questioningly.

“I think I’ll be fine doing some stuff,” I answered, not completely sure if I wanted to actually do anything. “It just hurts like hell. That’s all.” He nodded as he comprehended my answer. For a moment, we made eye contact, and we seemed to understand what we were going to do. He held out his arms, and I slowly scooted closer to hug him. His arms wrapped around me to keep me against his chest.

“Hopefully, my residual running heat can help a little,” he muttered into my ear as he carefully patted his fingers against the fabric of his shirt. I released a small laugh as I hooked my chin on his shoulder. My cheeks heated up as I understood the position we were in, but he hugged me back which helped me hide some of my embarrassment. If Rei-chan caught me doing this, she would more than definitely take pictures to send to the group chat. I closed my eyes as I enjoyed his warmth for a moment before I heard my bedroom door open. In an instant, we pushed off of each other to look at the door. I noticed Rei-chan with a small smirk on her face and a plastic bag hanging on her fingers.

“Well, hello lovebirds,” she greeted as the smirk on her face grew larger. I playfully rolled my eyes at her before I responded.

“Hey, and also, we aren’t lovebirds,” I shot back as I glanced at Tobio quickly nodding at my response.

“Sure, sure,” she brushed off my answer as she handed the plastic bag over. “Here’s some Advil and some snacks. I know you already have food, but sometimes chips are just the way to go.” She added a little wink, and I scoffed at her behavior before peering into the bag. Inside, I found what she was talking about but also found a small silver square. I glanced between her and the bag before I decided to confront her.

“Rei-chan, why is there a condom in here?” I questioned as I held the square between my index and middle finger. I squinted my eyes at her as I tried to read her face. I noticed her trying to stifle a laugh as I continued staring at her.

“You seem like you need it more than me,” she answered as her laughter died down, a smirk growing on her face. From the corner of my eye, I noticed a small blush growing on Tobio’s cheeks as he stared at the foiled square between my fingers. I threw her a fake smile before I threw the square at her.

“Rei-chan,” I started with a laugh as I noticed her flinching from my throw. “I haven’t done it yet, so save that for your boyfriend.” She laughed awkwardly as she knew what I was talking about. I faked a smile as I watched her pick up the square from the ground and place it in her pocket. “Now, go home,” I told her. “Don’t think I didn’t know you ran here from school.” She rolled her eyes as she got ready to leave.

“Alright then,” she responded. “I’ll see you at school on Monday. See you guys!” She shut the door behind her, and I listened for the front door to open and close. I shook my head at her behavior before I peeked at Tobio. His cheeks were still red as he stared at the ground.

“Well that was interesting,” I heard her mutter as he trained his eyes on the lines of the wooden floor. I laughed at his reaction and pinched the bridge of my nose.

“Rei-chan is just something else sometimes,” I added as I fished the bottle of Advil out of the small mound of chips she bought. I began opening it as I waited for Tobio’s response.

“Why did she think we would do it in high school?” he questioned as he looked up at me. I shrugged my shoulders as I opened the top of the bottle and shook out one capsule. 

“Rei-chan’s brain can be weird sometimes,” I responded as I reached for my water bottle on the nightstand. I popped the pill into my mouth before drinking the water, effectively swallowing the pill. I sighed as I shook my head. “I don’t know what goes through her brain, and I’ve played with her for so long,” I answered as I closed everything and placed them in their spot. From the corner of my eye, I noticed his head bobbing up and down at my response. “Should we watch a movie while eating these snacks? There’s a lot,” I questioned as I held up the bag for him to see. He shook his head as he noticed the amount of snacks.

“Those are all your favorites, Karin-chan,” he responded as he took a closer look at the contents. “Plus, I need to get ready for more practice games on Monday, so I need to stay in shape,” he continued, and I nodded as I understood his viewpoint. “Do you still want a hug?” he questioned as he held his arms out. I nodded quickly as I scooted back to my previous spot, letting his arms wrap around me. I hugged him back as I rested my cheek against his shoulder. For the rest of the day, we talked as he kept me warm, and eventually, the pain faded away.

⭐⭐⭐

And that's a wrap on this chapter! This one feels pretty long, so I hope that you liked it! (I actually have no idea what's considered a long fanfiction chapter or if this is longer than my previous chapters lol.) Either way, Rei-chan is definitely an interesting one to say the least...? Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter, and hopefully I'll see you in the next one (if I can post it sooner rather than later next time)!

Next: Promise Rings Chapter 8

[dabiboy]

Did someone order angst? Here it is! My heart broke while writing this, but I promise you, read all of it, it's angst to fluff and together with my broken Dabi piece this became one of my favorites too.

TW: blood, violence, death, curses. Also some manga spoilers.

In a Million Years

All of his body hurt. Different types of pain. What had happened? How much time has he been there? Hawks didn't know, and what woke him up was the annoying white light coming from the roof, that, and the blood dripping down his forehead.

The pain and the lack of weight on his back made him aware or the missing wings, but it was still hard to focus and to process how he got there.

"Are you finally going to tell us where the documents are, bird shit?" A male voice said out of nowhere. What documents?

"I don't know what are you talking about" He said weakly. His hands were tied behind his body, all of his limbs were in pain. And there were no feathers around to help him.

"The documents, now!" A kick in his face. Where the hell where his wings? Not even feathers?

"I have no idea what are you talking about!" Keigo hissed, trying to stay firm and not to break in front of those unknown man.

"Boss, the pidgeon won't talk"

"Oh, is that so?" Another man knelt down in front of him, pulling his golden locks to make him look up "Then let's make the bird sing" They laughed, standing up and walking away from him "bring the kid"

At the selection of words, Hawks eyes went wide open. Did they kidnap a kid? Was it the name of a villain? Fuck, wait a second. It couldn't be. His heart started beating faster and harder against his chest, hoping he was wrong. And then, his soul left his body, replacing it with fear and despair. When the huge metal gate opened, he saw it. A large man's hand on a tiny shoulder, a shaking shoulder. Haru had a bruised eye, tears were still wet on his cheeks as he hold on to his dino plushie, cucumber, with his last bits of strenght.

"Daddy!" He screamed and try to run to him, but the man didn't let him.

"Haru!" Keigo screamed, losing his mind, breaking his voice "What the fuck do you all think you're doing!" He tried to get away from the ropes grip, but it was impossible "Let him go! Please! He has nothing to do with all of this!"

"Are you gonna speak then?" One of the men asked.

"I know shit! I-I swear I don't just let him go" He kept moving, but when he did the man that was holding Haru pushed him down to the floor, his knees getting hurt. He started crying again.

"We'll start plucking him if you don't speak, fucking pidgeon"

"I swear I know nothing, I work for the commission, my father was a thief and a murderer, I was undercover with the league, I- I fucking killed Twice but please just don't hurt him, he's just a kid, he's just-" they cut him off when another kick was given to him, making him spit blood.

"Don't hurt my daddy!"

"Shut up you too" The other man did pressure, making Haru legs hurt thanks the hard concrete beneath him.

"Hey, hey kid. Look at me, it'll be fine, ok? It's fine. Just hold on a bit longer, I'll get us out of here" Keigo said with a trembling voice, blood covering his face together with sweat and dirt.

"And now you're lying to him. So pathetic." Haru's plushie was taken away from him, and the man kicked him towards Keigo's direction. "Fucking speak or next will be your damn child!" Rage was the only emotion in his voice, and Hawks was helpless than ever.

"I already told you everything! I-I don't know what the hell you're talking about," a sob "listen, I've got money, I can give you everything the fuck you want you can even kill me right here but let my son out of this" he spoke through his teeth, pain more evident than ever.

"You are worthless," their boss said "let him go, and the child to" a man started cutting the ropes that were holding Hawks, finally feeling peace "get rid of both of them" and with that last sentence, everything went to shit.

Haru was free from his grip too, running towards his dad who was still weak on the floor, and just two steps before he could make it to Keigo's arm, a deafening noise filled the room. A gunshot.

Hawks didn't even have the time to scream when his son fell to his arms, blood dripping his shirt.

"Haru!" He said, moving as he could, laying him on his leg as he pulled his bleeding torso to his body "No no no no, you fucking bastards!" A piercing scream left his throat, but the men were already gone. "Baby, baby come on. Look at me, please" he gave little slaps on his cheek, trying to make him open his eyes, while his free hand tried to put pressure on the wound. "Haru I need you to wake up, please my boy come on, stay here" his chin was trembling, tears running wild down his dirty cheeks "Someome help!" Keigo looked around, but it was only him and Haru.

"Dad?" He said weakly. "Where's... Cucum..." He was already slurring his words.

"What? Cucumber, your dino. Right here baby, there" after looking around, he streteched his arm towards the stuffed animal, giving it to Haru.

"Come on chicken wing, talk to me please. We-we gotta go home, to mommy, to your friends, come on" it was impossible to describe Keigo's emotion at thar point. He was broken, more broken than any other man in history.

"Daddy I'm... I'm scared" Haru finally opened his golden eyes, breaking Hawks's heart even more "I'm cold"

"No, no, don't be. It'll be fine I promise I, please I-I will take you home now. Haru? Hey, Haru!" Keigo held him tight against his chest, his mouth wide open but no sounds leaving, just drowned screams full with sorrow. His boy, his precious boy was suffering and there was anything he could do about it. He was about to leave. And he knew it, he fucking knew it. Keigo's lips were on Haru's forehead, whispering words of hope, promises that he was not going to be able to fulfill. Not anymore. His hand was on Haru's head, afraid of let him go. But after short seconds, the green-like dinosaur plushie fell to the floor. Free from Haru's hug. Keigo's throat almost bleeding from the strength of his painful scream, of his cry for help.

And then, he woke up.

Hawks sat abruptly on the bed, cold sweat covering his whole body as his erratic breath kept him unaware of his where being. A comfy bed, natural sun light, smell of cookies, fresh mint, perfume. Home. He was there and he couldn't tell. It was his room, the room he shared with you. Pictures of Haru, you and him were on the night stand and hanging on the wall. His cheeks were still wet, he was crying in his sleep. Keigo got up, the similar pain on his limbs returned, but also did the weight on his back. His wings were there too, big and strong as always. Giving a fuck about the pain, he walked out the room. The hallway that led to the living room was empty, also the bathroom, the guest room and Haru's room. But there was noise coming from the living room. And when he got there? His heart skipped a beat, his shoulder resting on the wall when he lost his balance.

"Daddy you're awake!" Haru said happily, setting his dino book aside. "I will call mommy, she said I should call her when you-" Keigo interrupted him. He had walked towards him when he was still talking, and kneeling on the floor he hugged the kid tighter than ever. "Uhm, are you ok?" Haru asked with curiosity. "You're sweating! Maybe you have a fever, I gotta call-"

"I'm fine, my chicken wing" a sob, followed by a smile "I'm better than ever" gaining distance, Keigo cupped Haru's face in both hands "I'm just very, very happy to see you" He laughed just a bit, combing his hair and kissing his forehead. He pulled him in again, his hand caressing Haru's hair. And then it hit him. He was on a mission, and a wanna be villain with a strong quirk disabled him and made Hawks fell to a rooftop, hitting his head and vanishing. Everything was a dream, a nasty dream.

"Did you have an ugly dream? I have those sometimes too" Haru said, trying to look at his dad, whom nodded.

"I did. It was, uhm... A very ugly one" Keigo tried to smile, reassuring his kid that now he was fine. He got free from his grip and ran to grab his plushie.

"Here! You can hug cucumber, I hug him everytime when I have ugly dreams" Haru smiled widely, giving Hawks his most precious item.

"Thank you, chicken nugget" Keigo hug the plushie and kissed it's head, but then placed it on the couch. "Wanna eat some fried chicken, and a huuuge milkshake? Whadaya' say" again he didn't even care about his pain, he grabbed Haru by the waist so he could lift him in his arms. "We can even call mommy and tell her to leave the agency earlier, sounds good?"

"Yes!!" Haru raised his arms in victory "can cucumber have a milkshake too?"

"He can have two milkshakes" Keigo kissed his cheeks, making the child clap in joy. "Hey, kid" this time, Haru tilted his head, showing he was paying attention and that, at the same time, he was curious "I love you. So, so much. Never forget that, ok? I will always protect and take care of you, got it? You're my chicken wing, I love you," a kiss on his temple, "I love you" another on his forehead.

"I wub you too, daddy! And Cucumber loves you as well" Haru smiled widely, giving Hawks's heart the peace he needed.

"Yeah, there's love for him too" Keigo laughed and started walking towards the kitchen "Now, let's order some food and call mommy, ok?" Haru held tightly to his father's neck, resting his cheek on his shoulder. And Keigo? Keigo held him with all of his strength. He was not leaving his baby boy. Never, never in a million years.

[hot-mysticc-mess-blog]

I love your blog and I was wondering if you could write a headcanon for the RFA+V&Saeran when they see MC who they broke up with for something in the past. Like they miss her and want her, so how would they try to win her back. I'm sorry if I'm being a bit confusing.

My Masterlist

Zen

His contract to keep your relationship quiet, a new fantastic role, a rough patch he knows, in hindsight, was his fault.

He doesn’t really remember but he thinks your last argument was something about fish-shaped bread? How stupid.

It was awkward for a while. Zen used to leave the chatroom anytime you showed up, until you offered to leave in his place

He felt so guilty about it that he always stuck around, lamenting logging into the chatroom in case he found himself trapped watching you chat happily with everyone else

You seemed like you were doing so well

Even after that, the two of you ignored each other for the most part

He texted Yoosung party guest suggestions and made the poor boy ask in Zen’s place, even though he knew you were too nice to turn down a guest just because the suggestion came from your ex

He mellowed out as things got better in his career. He found a new girlfriend. She was pretty, and content with anything she could have of him, even if that did not include his love.

But you still saw each other at the party, and he was still absolutely taken with you

He caught himself staring, his eyes following as you moved throughout the room

A few drinks later and he was itching to touch you, kiss you, beg for your forgiveness

Would that be cheating?

Zen turned to his girlfriend. She caught his eye and smiled.

It would? Damn

His relationship lasted all of another two weeks before he broke it off

Zen tentatively starts conversations with you, notably reserved. Yoosung even mentioned the sharp drop-off in his narcissistic comments.

He spent every spare moment rehearsing the speech he was going to give you. And he waited, for the perfect moment.

Could he have texted you at any time? Or called? Absolutely.

But no, the perfect moment came at 3 AM one evening. Yoosung had just left the chatroom to play games, and Zen was just about to hit the exit button when your name popped up on screen

He spewed out his speech, taking up nearly three whole screens of the chat…and then he couldn’t stop

He just kept on babbling, whatever words he could think of that might get you to come back to him.

Jaehee

Nothing like internalized religious shame to ruin a relationship

It was always something she had fought with, but over time it became too much and she gave in

She was being too greedy, and it would hurt both of you in the end.

Your break-up was a quiet, soft discussion over coffee at table 7

Jaehee already did most of the administrative tasks for the cafe, but she took over what was left

She opened the cafe in the morning. You closed the cafe in the evenings. A manager relayed any communications.

You had never told the rest of the RFA you were together in the first place, and the breakup was somehow even more awkward for it

Things went back to the way they were…except not. It was like peeling a sticker from a bottle only to find that the invisible sticky residue had been left behind.

Jaehee was professional as always, you were polite as always, but everything hurt

The rest of the RFA noticed the gloom, Seven put the pieces together easily enough. Jumin at the very least suspected, which you put together when he offered both of you vague but particularly relevant advice

Jaehee immediately noticed how much she misses your presence

Running the cafe wasn’t half as much fun without you

Sitting at home and watching Zen’s musicals was still very relaxing…but not as enjoyable when she doesn’t have you to enjoy them with

She swears even her coffee isn’t as flavorful when you aren’t around.

She found herself up at wee hours of the morning most nights, looking at the crucifix up on her wall.

“Is this really what you want?” She asked, out loud to an empty house.  

She finally found happiness…why was she sabotaging it for herself?

The next day she came by right at the end of your shift, clinging to a clipboard with the inventory documents in order to avoid anxiously fidgeting.

“MC?” Her voice came out more unsure than she had hoped for. “Would you mind have a cup of coffee with me?”

Audibly sighed with relief when you agreed

She waits until the awkward silence takes over before speaking

“I think, no, I made a mistake when I broke up with you. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, that I was being too greedy by wanting the coffee shop and such a close relationship with you. I should have just spoken with you about it. You were the one who made me want to chase my happiness, and I wanted to build this cafe with you, together. My life is better with you by my side.”

“Of course, I understand if you don’t want to but I…I would like to try again.”

Yoosung

The process of breaking up was a messy, three weeks of arguing. The actual break-up lasted all of twenty-four hours

School was hard, and you understood that, but he was irritable all the time

Everything that everyone did annoyed him and you two found yourselves arguing over anything he looked at

He brought your fights into the chat room, even when you tried to keep negative conversation to private texts

You suggested maybe he should take a break

He took that phrase, and interpreted it to mean something you hadn’t intended at all. “If we need to take a break, then we shouldn’t be together at all! We’re done!”

Yoosung had about twenty-four hours of rage-based satisfaction before your absence caught up to him

By then, the RFA found out from you what happened.

Zen was torn between his closest friend and you. You told him you would be alright, and that he did not need to come and see you

That was good, because Yoosung arrived at Zen’s apartment 10 minutes later.

Zen updated the chatroom later that evening, letting everyone know Yoosung drank a can of beer, cried, and then Zen put him to bed on the couch

Yoosung was back up again at three am, alone in a chatroom frantically typing out how much he missed you while he paced in Zen’s living room

Then he started calling

You woke up to several voicemails, all apologies from Yoosung

Jumin

He swore he would never let you go. Even when things were bad he couldn’t bring himself to get a divorce

Instead, the two of you separated. Though he felt he could no longer provide support for your emotional well-being, he offered his continued financial support.

The polite refusal you gave him, tears in your eyes and hands on your suitcase, made his chest tighten. He loosened his tie, hoping that would make it feel easier to breathe.

Zen spent the next week with you in Rika’s apartment, doting on your every need and bitching about Jumin every chance he got

Jumin threw himself into his work

He went back to treating you professionally. Seven made the mistake of joking about your newly single status only once before he discovered Jumin’s wrath was not worth it.

You spent the next several months trying to untangle your life from Jumin’s, knowing it would never fully work

Jumin tried to convince himself things would be okay without you. Love was a foolish endeavor. Work was the only thing that mattered.

But you had changed him, and now all of a sudden the idea of going back to a life without love, without the light you brought into his life make his heart ache.

Jaehee took over any communication that involved you, relaying any questions and information Jumin needed.

He made sure that was nothing for the first couple of months, even to the point of procrastinating on things that needed to be done just so he could avoiding saying your name

There were little things you left all around the house by accident. He couldn’t go anywhere without being reminded of you. He left them alone at first, refusing to touch them. If it was in the path of somewhere he needed to go, he had a maid remove it.

Slowly, he started gathering them all up. Whenever he would find something that was yours, he would store it in a box he kept on nightstand on your side of the bed. One day, he would send it to you.

The party came around. The entire RFA is on edge, anxious about the two of you seeing each other for the first time in nearly a year.

Seven helped you get ready beforehand. He made sure you looked great, even without Jumin’s designer gowns and personal stylists.

Jumin had never sent you the box with the last of your things, nor any divorce papers.

Yoosung and Seven had far too much fun pretending to “scout” for you, checking the entire venue for Jumin before you go inside. When he arrived, you knew because your cell phone vibrated four consecutive times with text alerts from the other RFA members

Jumin caught your eye a couple of times, you look away and continue your mingling, but the moment he saw you he knew exactly why he had never fully ended things with you: he never wanted your relationship to end

Those vows he took at the alter when he married you, he meant every word. A year of separation and all the arguments in the world would never change that. He wanted to fix things…but did you?

Jumin kept an eye on you while he networked with other guests, until he finally saw you wander to a quieter corner of the main room for a brief respite.

He ended the conversation he was having rather abruptly, in favor of approaching you with two glasses of wine in hand.

“MC?” He held out one of the glasses for you. “Would you be willing to try couple’s therapy?”

Saeyoung

He thought he could keep you safe from the agency. You were the one who made him believe that

And he could, from his original agency, but then a new agency started to recruit him just as he was getting his civilian life with you in place.

The two of you were engaged now…but if you got married, then your bond would be on paper.

He let his thoughts spiral, panicked one evening at the third attempt to infiltrate his security systems. It didn’t work, of course, but the potential threat was still there.

He pre-packed your things, set up a tracker on your phone, and arranged a Buber to take you to Jumin’s penthouse

The break up was quick. You were in the car and moved out of the house before you had time to process anything that happened.

After you two break up, Saeyoung went quiet.

No one knew if he was actually reading the chat logs at all, but the entire RFA spoke out, asking him to talk to you, to explain what happened, eventually just to say anything

Saeyoung spoke only with Jumin, and did all his work from behind the scenes.

Saeran gave semi-regular updates on his brother in the chatroom after reading the third chat log of you begging to know if he was okay. His brother’s relationship shouldn’t have been any of his business, but he liked you. You were a good person, and no one seemed to understand why Saeyoung did it.

Your role in the RFA only grew. It was rough at first, but the entire RFA was supportive in helping you get back on your feet.

Saeyoung read all the chat logs, including the messages you left for him. He kept an eye on where you were at all times, back to checking on you every 2.35 seconds in his bunker. He made sure to never look you in the eyes, lest it break his resolve.

Saeran lived with him now, but the house was quiet without you around. The twins’ relationship was still tense, but this had just made it worse.

At first, it was just more petty arguments than usual. Then, Saeran started asking why Saeyoung left MC. When Saeyoung wouldn’t answer, it became constant displeased grumbling every time they passed each other. Eventually, it became an outright fight.

“They didn’t do a damn thing and you left them! You left them just like you left me!”

“It’s for her protection Saeran! I took took care of my agency, but if we get married they’re going to be a target for anyone that wants our skills!”

“Did something happen? Did you even talk to them about this!? Why didn’t you ask me for help?”

“I don’t need help. If I told them why I wanted to end things, they wouldn’t have let me do it. It was for their safety. This was the best option.”

“And how did your idea of ‘the best option’ work out for everyone last time!?” Saeran slams his hand down on Saeyoung’s desk, knocking over a long cat bobble toy you had given him as a gift. Saeran’s eyes welled with tears, hands shaking with rage. “MC knew exactly what they were getting into! You had no right to just kick them out of our lives!”

Saeyoung looks up at his brother with wide eyes. Was this what you looked like right now too? Was that the expression and the emotion and the reality that he had been avoiding?

The next day he showed up with a eleven robotic roses that meowed like cats, an IOU for a kitten, and one rose that played a recording of him saying ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again

The sound was awful

Not his best idea

V/ Jihyun

He was the one who decided he was not okay with making you wait

It had been two years of barely keeping in contact

Another cancelled ticket. Another stub for the scrapbook. Another RFA party he would miss, not that he did anything for the group anymore.

You had been amazingly understanding, as usual, even when he broke your heart.

Yoosung already hated him. Jumin was getting a little frustrated, and the rest of the RFA expected him to never really come back. Him breaking up with you? You were the only one particularly heart-broken by the loss.

Everywhere he went, he saw you. Greece, Africa, The United States, Egypt. No matter what country he was in he would see someone on the street and for a few seconds he would be convinced it was you.

God knows how many times he whipped around in the middle of the street only to find himself staring at someone who was…decidedly not you.

Until one day, on a brief return to Korea, when he whipped around and he swore he saw your face. Not the back of your head, not you hands or your clothes, your face.  

“MC?”

You turn to look at him, surprised to see him after all these years.

At first, it just starts with an invitation to a cafe

He’s friendly and kind and apologizes for how things went between the two of you

Of course he wants you back, but he’s not going to force it. He was the one who broke the two of you up to begin with, and he has done nothing to earn your respect or love.

So…he stayed. And he texted. And he logged on to the RFA app to speak with all the members. He rented a studio and slept there on a couch in the back room while he put a life back together in Korea.

Things still aren’t perfect, but he’s trying. He has a place here, and friends, a life he can offer to share now.

He waits until the next RFA party ends, and catches you as you stow away one of the crystal centerpieces for the tables.

“I hope I’m not ruining you evening with this request…would you want to go out on a date with me?”

Saeran

The two of you started your relationship way too early.

He thought he was better now, that he could just live his life

But one day, the feelings hit him hard, like a ton of bricks. All of the progress, all of the work he did to get himself back where he was disappeared.

What was the point? What was the point of trying when it was all going to come back with no warning for the rest of his life?

He doesn’t even remember exactly when he broke up with you, because you never left his side.

It was somewhere between not eating for two days and Saeyoung checking him back into the psychiatric hospital.

“Go home already!” He would shout. You had no idea why, he had been okay with you here just a moment before.

It was because he noticed the glimmer of sadness in your eyes, or the way your expression drooped with disappointment.

Eventually, he got better. They released him from the hospital, but you stopped coming by so often.

It used to be you were there every single day, now you come  by sometimes to talk to Saeyoung, and check in on him briefly before you flee the bunker.

You got eerily quiet in the chatroom; even when he wasn’t around, you just weren’t quite as bright as you had been

He missed seeing you smile. He missed hearing your voice.

It’s another night of being up at three am. Another night of Saeyoung hovering around him, like if he looks away Saeran might try to hurt himself again.

An infomercial for some terrible super fruit health drink is on, and it reminds him of the time he tapped your shoulder to tell you his snarky comment about it, only to find you had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

You were the best thing to ever happen to him

He picks up his phone, and opens the text log.

i’m sorry for what I said

I wish you’d come by more often

I miss you

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Hello!! I am absolutely in love with your writing! I was wondering if you had any advise for an up and coming fanfic writer. Like what is your writing process? What do you do when your stuck? Things like that...I'm not very confident in my writing so I feel getting advise from someone I admire would help.

Hi! ^-^

So this is a list I have shared with several people already, in order to give a basic idea of how I do things.

1. Always have punctuation at the end of your sentences.

2. When you have someone speaking, you capitalize the first word in the quotation marks(") and put a period at the end, inside the quotation. Not outside.

Ex: "Pretty Mary dances around Scranton." !!!NOT!!! "Pretty Mary dances around Scranton". G.

A.)

If you want to let the reader know who says it though...

Ex: A.) "Pretty Mary dances around Scranton," said Mark.

B.)

If you have a sentence that is connected by a description of movement maybe, then you end the first half in a comma(,), add your linking description, add another comma(,) and then begin a new quotation, but you DO NOT capitalize the first letter. You can either leave it as is(unless it's an I, you always capitalize that), or you use a endash/hyphen(–).

Ex: B.) "It might have escaped your notice," Snape hissed, eyes narrowed into dangerous slits, "but the world does not revolve around you!" not supposed to start a sentence with Because or But. A lot of us do it anyway, but in this particular case for a speaking part, you should not capitalize the letter.

3. Don't forget your commas(,), periods(.), and apostrophes('). This (`) is NOT an apostrophe and should not be used as one. It is a grave accent.

Ex: barús. ú. Can't. NOT can`t!

4. If you are a beginner, try outlining your thoughts first. Most of my stories are done from memory because I plot all day long. I then act out my own plots to see where all the holes are and what needs work. I rework the same scene in my head multiple times and I talk it all out as if I'm the different characters. I have been doing this for years. Beginners should not do that, you'll get lost.

Ex: Write your ideas down. Any idea. Don't just shove it aside. You never know when it can be useful.

5. DO NOT just erase your work if you don't like how it's going. If the writing seems off to you, don't just delete it! The best course of action is to pull away for a bit and either take a day of a break, or move on to a different story to see how you're doing. Remember, you are not being paid to write this, so deleting all that hard work will not do you any good or make you feel better.

Go read some fanfics in your break time. Take a nap. Pull away completely for a few days. But never just up and delete everything if you’ve lost inspiration!

6. Google Translate is not perfect. If you have to use it, make sure that you make a note in your author's note. Tell everyone that it is a 'broad translation'. That means it isn't perfect and you know it.

7. Your author's notes are your time to address the readers personally. DO NOT make your whole chapter an author's note. That is against site regulations on many fanfic sites and will end up reported by someone. 

DO NOT answer reader reviews who are signed in, in the author's note. If they are signed in, chances are you can reply to them if you want by going to your review list(FF.net). There is a little bubble to the far right of the review, and then a triangle. The bubble is a Reply button. The triangle is the Report button.

Ex: When half the of chapter length is an author's note that is filled with replies to reviewers, people get annoyed. It's not pleasing and it's deceptive. The chapter is 2,000 words and 1,000 words are an author's note. The fic itself is 25,000 words and you find out that only about 10,000 is actually the story. Trust me, you lose readers by doing that. As I'm one of the readers who won't continue reading if it comes to that, I can vouch for others. I have never done that because it's annoying.

And AO3 has a comment section where you can reply right there.

8. You can customize your chapters(On FF and AO3). When you are in the doc on Fanfiction, you can upload a doc from your computer, or copy and paste. Copy and pasting allows you to customize the document when you open it up(because saving a doc from the computer deletes all customs you’ve made). Don't be afraid to use the italics or the spacers(the big black line to show that you've changed to a new section of the chapter). 

Ex: Instead of putting XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX or writing THIS_IS_A_LINE_DON'T_MIND_ME, you'll use the black line instead.

9. If you're going to post on AO3, know that that site doesn't save your customization from Google Docs or Microsoft Word. However, it does save your customization from the Fanfiction Doc. So copy and paste from FF to AO3. 

HINT: AO3 requires you to double check that that all of your centered texts are actually in the center though.

10. You can prevent people from leaving you Guest reviews on Fanfiction. You can disable that feature. On AO3, you can disable Anonymous comments, or manage them, meaning if someone leaves a comment, you can 'Approve' it or 'Delete' it. No one will see it until you Approve it though.

11. There will always be an asshole who doesn't like your work. If it's a guest review, there is a button on your FF account page. 'Reviews'. You click on it and the option to 'Delete Reviews' will appear. You choose the review that you want gone, and then delete it.

On AO3 you can actually delete any reviews.

12. Starting off in a popular fandom would be your best bet. I noticed that in the beginning I wasn't getting much, but when I started writing for Naruto and Harry Potter, my follower list shot up and now I know how to work my way around. In many smaller fandoms, I've managed to get my singular fics in those groups, to be at the top of the review and fav charts. It just takes time.

13. There are Facebook groups you can join for your writing or fandom. You just have to find them. Get some advice from fellow writers maybe. Join any writing communities that interest you. Expand your knowledge and have fun.

Hope these helped. These are observations I have made over the past 8 years. Mind you I am not a perfect writer, but the current me is the best writer I’ve ever been. ^-^