#i hope you're in a good place
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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
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#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
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A redraw of an old thing because exam season is the only time i get creative energy ig
#but no fr i just came home from 2 consecutive exams. like consecutive as in one after the other in 2 hours#next week is all finals and theyre all like 2 hours 1 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon like bro#whatevs tho medical update THE MEDS ARE WORKING alhamdulilallah i feel im getting way more energy :)#2 years on immunosuppressants and at least 3 months of corticosteroids which means no salt :( BUT we are getting thru it#im cooking again :')#ok enough my life is not what you're here for. idk if cbeeduo at the end of 2023 *is* but idc#i just rly missed them yk and the vibes and the place i was in plus i have fun drawing them so suck it#i hope my good cbee mutuals enjoy this love yall#my art#dsmp fanart#cranboo#ctubbo#cbeeduo#fashion notes for the cool peeps still reading is i am dying on the hill that cranboo was decked in a 70s aunt wardrobe argue with the wall#also tubbo cowboy cus. like. look at him.#will probably draw tommy next i rly miss him. nothing big as always im a doodle kinda guy at heart#anyway xoxo love yall still here <33#fennec.art
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I want to become stronger sooner to help Master wipe out the miasma from the Immortal Realm to free the people from oppression.
#cdramaedit#cdrama#the legend of shen li#zeng li#feng xue ya#与凤行#baby ah'li is crazy good#even in the troop sparring at the camp you could see how she mirrored and improved upon the drills with her shifu i–#the matching silver sword ugh yes more passage-to-screentime#really gets to me that despite her accomplishments in the field that earned her the throne#despite being whispered about as a weak ruler#shen muyue's leadership policy is about aggressive diplomacy#'twas not enough to prevent shen li from making The Choice#and so she is left as survivor yet again... hoping against odds#last night's ''her holiness will never give my belongings away.''#and you're right about that darling she's resorted to be a mainstay at your armory#caressing the training spear in place of all the blisters turned calluses in your tiny palms
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"Write for yourself" and "Comments are good" are not mutually exclusive ideas.
"Comments are good" is true! They are good! We like them! It's nice to leave them and it's nice to read them.
"Write for yourself" is how you get through the draft knowing that feedback is not (and it never is) guaranteed.
#people get so up in arms about this#i assume because they think 'write for yourself' means you shouldn't want comments#which isn't true#it's fine and normal to want feedback#to hope that people read your work and that you can have a connection with them#that's all good#it's just not ENOUGH imo to motivate your when you're struggling#it can't be JUST for the comments#there has to be another reason you're writing#why you keep going even when it's hard or you're stuck#that's where 'write for yourself' comes in#there's a reason you started writing in the first place#don't lose sight of that#writing
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There's a deep irony in Berserk being so admired by people who really really hate what Berserk is about on an emotional level, but especially when writers want to take influence from it. Because Berserk is very strong thematically, and someone who can't acknowledge subtext is going to whiff on emulating anything good.
#And by that I mean that like many of its influences and descendants the plot is fundamentally driven by toxic gay shit lol#Listen there's just no beating around the bush here: you either understand this type of story is super emotional#That the softness and hope and love for humanity is vital connective tissue between the edgy violent dark setting#And that at its core the queerness is *central*#Or you will just end up creating something toothless and cynical with tokenizing bullshit at best#You cannot make that lightning strike twice if you're too scared to even write that shit as ACTUALLY core to the plot#You don’t have to make your shit gay to be good you just have to understand if your major influence was gay and why#So that you respect subtext and thematic writing and emotional resonance in writing in general#And maybe understand that if you also want credit for pushing the envelope you get where the real standard is#This is one of those things I see in equal measure in dudebro homophobes and supposedly progressive queers#No that wasn't “bait/delusion” it was barely subtext and if you go into writing with that attitude you're going to write shallow shit lol#I genuinely believe when people lament about reading comprehension they're actually talking about willful ignorance#Because willfull ignorance *does* cause a need to deny reality to a point where it warps your ability to understand information#Having difficulty comprehending text from a learning disability or improper teaching#Has fucking nothing on someone whose deliberately trained themselves to rationalize away anything uncomfortable#Tag rant over but this shit really is a plague and you can see it so starkly when it comes to Berserk#An undeniably respectable work from a place many envious little goblins that covet it do not actually respect
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It is not okay to speculate whether or not someone is suicidal. If they claim to be, you should 100% take that shit seriously and give them the benefit of the doubt.
That said, if someone is using their own suicidality as a weapon to gain sympathy, emotionally manipulate someone, or to push other people down, GENUINELY fuck that person. While it's not okay for us to doubt that statement just because they're weaponizing it, that also doesn't mean we need to ALLOW that manipulation to convince us of something.
If you feel the need to use your terrible mental health as a step-stool in a conversation to make your side more heard than the other, you need to take a step back and re-evaluate yourself. And I am saying this as someone who ALSO has shit mental health and has been in the trenches with it before. I get it. I understand. But also STOP.
It's tempting to want to save your own ass over recognizing where you've gone wrong, but just a word of advise: recognizing where you've gone wrong WILL save your ass and give you better mental health and wisdom down the line.
However, emotionally manipulating people absolutely will not.
#suicide mention#tw sui ment#tw suicide#suicide tw#tw sui#tw sui talk#james somerton#k with all that out of the way i do wanna say that this is a response to james' apology#im honestly glad he deleted the vid and also that he's going to genuinely get into a better place#that is GOOD#i mean this genuinely i hope he gets better#but also the fact that he opened the video with an emotional guilt-trip is something i have just been wanting to talk about for a long time#it's manipulation 101#if you wanna tell your audience you're struggling with mental health that's one thing but not in a fucking apology video#and if you do need to mention it DONT MAKE IT THE VERY FIRST THING YOU SAY#that's such a shitty thing to do#what you need to do is apologize to everyone FIRST and say everything you need to say#and THEN bring that up#but even then i'd disclaim the shit out of it and make sure everyone knows it's not a guilt trip it's just true#but like. at the end of the day dragging your own mental health into an apology is a double-edged sword#tjhat really just depends on the situation#like i said i genuinely hope he gets better#but it's not just him doing this shit. i've seen like 3 cases of this shit in just the past few months#i guess james is just my excuse to finally say something about it
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the relationship between the chantry and the mortalitasi in nevarra is SO fucking funny. the carefully politic and civil syncretism of it all. the ‘I’ll refrain from scratching your back to bloody shreds if you refrain from scratching mine :)’. left hand politely averting its eyes from whatever the fuck the right hand is doing merrily up to its elbow in entrails because it usually knows what it’s doing I guess. speak softly, and have an army of the restless dead ready to go banapants horrorshow bonkers if you don’t get to tend to them. We Receive: being able to keep doing our goth thing mostly unimpeded. You receive: us not raising the great majority to protest your unwelcome meddling. render unto the chantry what is the chantry's and unto the watchers what is theirs (or, with all possible courtesy you understand, else…)
#dragon age#nevarra#mortalitasi#a watcher's work is never done#The maker may take the souls but someone still has to care for the graves#the necropolis is such a trump card for the nevarran mages when you think about it -- try to annul the mortalitasi?#soon you'll have some VERY unpleasant things starting to come up from underground and no one who knows how to deal with it#that place has grown and been built upon itself for like a thousand years at this point hope you're good with surprises with no guide#it's not grey wardens in a blight levels of immunity granted but it's up there. thedas realpolitik hits different idk what to tell you#the idea that the ‘higher dead’ are the original souls lingering after death must be getting spicily close to heresy right#even more so than the mortalitasi usually get I mean#Poor Cassandra. Imagine being born a jock among goth nerds no wonder the religion got to her#if her parents had lived she could have been a hotheated dashing noble getting in righteous duels but instead. her uncle. alas.#I jest but I really am so interested in seeing more of nevarra to understand even more of where she's coming from originally#I'm visiting my wife's folks for the first time I'm really excited :) (I do think my adaar would find it fascinating actually so. sry cass)
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catching up after the wolves' howls
mini-sequel to this old comic i drew!
#huang#yanqing#hsr yanqing#yanqing hsr#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr oc#riverin art#riverin oc#hsr 2.5 chapter so good it made me reevaluate my old animosity towards a character#i think i found some of his earlier story quests to be a little slow hence why i wasn't fond of yanqing#but oohhhhhh they let this fella SHINE in 2.5. so proud of him now#i hope yanqing fans had the TIME OF THEIR LIVES in the 2.5 chapter and that you're eating and hydrating well <3#huang's animosity to yanqing run a Bit deeper#and i don't want this to be a full 180 turn for their opinion#but again. credit where credit is due. the guy stalled hoolay And feixiao#like good gravy. back to back fights with potentially(?) bruised ribs from hoolay yoinking him and being tossed all over the place
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#p4#p4g#persona 4 golden#persona 4#yosuke hanamura#hanamura yosuke#and now you're in couple clothing#funny how that works#not to mention how to definitely do more than just talk (like hugging obv ahem)#but on a serious note “someone to talk to” is so URGHHH because it's so flippant but also#yosukes unwittingly admitting to how lonely he felt before in front if everyone (also bold move with chie and yukiko being right there)#i just think yosuke's feeling at the start of the game were so complicated and yet so much is revealed here#yosukes belief that he couldnt form any connections here. his reluctance in letting them reach out to him even when they wanted to.#his embarrassment over living in the “country” and partaking in their “country ways”#(if you are reading this rn this is your sign to pls read the magiciam manga)#but also here. in this moment. the hopes that he had placed on yu when yu arrived in Inaba#how those hopes were dashed in part but also lived up to in a way beyond yosukes wildest dreams.#GAHHHH#he's good with his queue
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thinking more about a silly talent show chapter where things get a bit outa hand
#yes i know i spelt it tallent im dyslexic n medibang cant autocorrect#anyways i have alot of silly thoughts abt it#logan and haliey are probably back in school at this point and they may of got word of the-#-event around their entire school. Hope you're good infront of a crowd!#Nicole wasnt gonna do it but Cole asked her to be his partner in the show after catching her playing guitar#this whole show is just taking place on a makeshift stage behind the hospital in the parking lot lmao#rhythm doctor#cole brew#nicole ting#rhythm doctor hailey#rhythm doctor logan#rhythm doctor lucky#rhythm doctor miner#rhythm doctor samurai#rhythm doctor ian#rhythm doctor paige
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listen i would've supported 23.5 no matter how terrible it might've been and i will continue to support it no matter which route it takes; but i am incredibly happy that it starts sweet and gentle and goofy as all queer high school romances deserve to be 🥰
#23.5 the series#23.5 degrees#i adore that altho it is shown that ongsa is having a hard time settling in and finding her place and we are told this has always been#the case for her#it is also immediately shown that there is kindness and friendship and care in this new universe for her if she is able to reach back to#those reaching out to her#i adore that they use slightly unhinged over the top moments to highlight the genuine awkwardness and terror of being a teenage girl#and even more so a queer teenage girl#i have already seen people call out the over the top 'weirdness' as too much#(tho too much is never quite called out as much in male performance bc the threshold for too much is so much lower for women huh)#but that is genuinely how it feels in that moment tho isnt it#everything is so heightened and over the top and everything is the WORST and the BEST#and you are the only outsider even tho you're not#like not to project too much meaning onto the silly little gl romcom#but it feels really genuine even in its silliness and i appreciate that so much#and i have genuine good hope for a quiet small sapphic romcom set in highschool
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Zero Day (2002)
#movies film cinema#zero day#ben coccio#I actually talked to the director on Facebook super nice guy and he told#me a lot about the filmmaking process and even helped me with tips on directing non-actors and new actors#I remember him telling me to always be supportive and tell your new actors they're doing a good job even if they aren't in the first take#cause you can instill confidence and still reshape and change their choices and mistakes later#Sometimes I'd message him for advice when I was running into problems on some of my early projects#he told me once ''did ya choose to collaborate with this actor cause you were lonely or you guys had passion and chemistry''#“collaborating is like a relationship” and he was so right#there's nothing worse than working with people you disdain cause there's no communication and no trust.#he told me how he wrote the first couple of drafts of Place Beyond the Pines but his take on the 3rd act wasn't clicking for the director#so he took the script and went and had another writer rewrite the 3rd act but he liked the process cause he learned a lot and still got pai#but I'd still like to see Ben Coccio's take on Place Beyond The Pines he says the 1st and 2nd act are mostly unchanged#Ryan Gosling's scenes are still mostly the same he said but he couldn't tell me too much cause of the NDA he signed#The bloopers of Zero Day are hilarious his tip he gave me about being supportive#“This is actually great but can we-” and Cal interrupts him “He says that no matter what if you're doing good or bad!” and everyone lols#I hope I can make it and ask him to collab with me on a script#He's such a nice dude compared to the harrowing film he made.#I wish there was BTS but he had only one tape to film on and this was made when digital camcorders were infants#I think he had only one 2 hour tape that's how low budget#The bloopers is just Cal or Andre secretly filming and Ben getting annoyed “Is it recording?” and Cal going “Nah..."#Cal is such a funny guy IRL I wanna see him act more cause he's so good. He was so great at playing a sadistic psychopath in this.#the final shooting is so harrowing and disturbing#I told Ben he srsly gut punched me/disturbed me and this is what made him really open up.
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the other side of someday [complete]
When the Yellowjackets’ plane crashes in the Wilderness, they aren’t the first. Another team has already been here. Other girls have already died here.
As Taissa discovers when she awakens with a long-dead goalie sharing her body, dead doesn’t mean gone.
chapter 1/4 - head
chapter 2/4 - hands
chapter 3/4 - hips
chapter 4/4 - heart
M; 49k words
A blink of the eye, and graduation is here again. She’s packing up her dorm for the last time, smiling gently—if a bit awkwardly—at half-remembered girls who try to catch her eye down at the local watering hole. Her parents are embracing her, excited beyond words for the progress their daughter has achieved in only a few years.
“Just think,” says Van lightly, “four years ago, your plane fell out of the sky. And now you’re Columbia-bound. You should take your story on the road, use it to spread hope across the nation.”
Taissa very subtly flips her off in the reflection of her drink. Van beams.
“Seriously, dude. Proud of you.”
#fanfiction#yellowjackets#yj fic#yellowjackets fanfic#taivan#taissa turner#van palmer#in all its glory: a completed rom-com full of dark turns and delightful banter#in all seriousness thank you for reading this one. it's weird. it's weird and it's fun and it's DARK in places and i'm proud of it#that said: please tread carefully with the final chapter. it's noted at the beginning but bears repeating#there are references to suicide in this guy. depression and melancholy and repression are scattered throughout#van's journey has some especially rough turns so check in with yourself and make sure you're good to follow it to the end#(does have a happy ending of course but even so. i know that isn't always easy to read)#as with life i hope the good outweighs the pain. enjoy!
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#quite literally a how it started vs. how it's going moment#i watch erik haula exit interview and go completely ballistic. THIS is female hysteria!!#you've been traded. you think it's going to be a good fit. you're excited. you believe things happen for a reason#you HOPE you're there to stay even before you step foot in the rink. you don't want to keep packing up your family from team to team#the season ends. you've got a new family now. you don't want to pack up and leave them for anyone else. you WANT to stay for them#“this is My Family.” i can't play anywhere else when nothing will ever be This#these people i didn't even know 9 months ago become these people i broke records with and made it places no one ever imagined…#the devils happened to you for a reason. you stumbled into something unknowingly and now you are pleading to stay. absolutely unreal#i think it's extremely warranted to go bonkers when guys who've been ran through the league finally find a place that is Their Home. sorry#erik haula you are so fucking special to me dawg i WILL pay for your contract. i WILL make sure you are here to stay. that's a promise.#quite literally gnawing on the sharpest edges of sheet metal i am so fuckin gSICK#if fitzy doesn't work something out with him and they lose the certified uncle and the goat…
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and then an overwhelming sense of dread apear.
#finished my last exam for this year YAY YIPPEE YAHOO ETC. but also now we wait for if i pass or not DREAD FEAR WARINESS ETC.#which i rlly don't think i will like. did not feel good abt the 1st exam period felt worse abt the 2nd and this one is like.....idk idk...#pretty confident abt the books part of the exam bc i KNOW i got everything on that correct but the thing is it was an oral exam and i was#stumbling over my words so bad + my voice was quivering i could hear it. hoping they don't count that as minus points but for the speech#thing i also had to do 2day they DO include how your voice sounds when you speak and like stammering and such in the final point count so#like. what if it's the same there.....ALSO they include use of gesturing to emphasize what you're saying and CORRECT EYE CONTACT in the#final point count. which. i don't have a problem with gesturing & i had a piece of paper in my hands so at least i wasn't too bad on that#front but when it comes to eye contact it's only flitting eyes or unnerving stare with me and nothing in between so i'm completely fucked i#that regard.#r.txt#WHATEVER it's done now. stupid ass weird rules WHO CARES if i don't have correct usage of eye contact what even is correct usage of eye#contact?????? like HOW am i supposed to know what the quote correct amount unquote is man. ALSO WHO GIVE A SHIT.#anyway going 2 luxembourg with my family for two weeks on august 5th probably. maybe sooner maybe later. we're going hiking + camping ⛺🌲👣#but the hiking is mostly done without backpacks and the camping is gonna be in campings. camping places. however english calls it.#which is a little less fun but also easier. but also less fun. but ANYWAY we're going on vacation and my final exam is done so no more#stress 💪🥳🙏🗣💥‼ (<- guy who's SO gonna be still having stress until the results come in. and then some afterwards. yay 4 me 🙂👍)
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i refuse to feel responsible if my friend's relationship ends up being a bad idea even though there was a period of time in which he would have broken up with her if i had told him to and i didn't. because that is too much power to have in someone else's relationship. he needs to make his own decisions and if they turn out to be mistakes that is not on me.
#i think probably he should not even have said that to me in the first place. 'do you think i should break up with her? if yes then i will.'#you are grown and also my ex...this is not something for me to do for you#it's not an unhealthy relationship it's just very complicated because she has kids and is going through a messy divorce#and like. is he prepared for that? very possibly no. but he is the only one who can make that determination and that is what i told him#obviously i talked it through with him and presented him with various scenarios and asked him things like do you think you could#be a good stepfather etc etc. i can lay out the options but i can't pick one! it's your life. you're the only one who can do that#anyway just thinking about this because i just got off the phone with my own stepdad and when he heard about this he was like#do i need to talk some sense into him??? and i was like no you need to let him make his own decisions for better or worse#which is interesting because later in the call we also talked about my little sister and how she wants to move across the country#to be with her girlfriend and he thinks it's a bad idea and i'm like yeah maybe it is. but she has to make her own mistakes#really channeling my 'you can't learn from things you never do' energy today lol#i hope things work out with my ex and his girlfriend though. i want him to be happy and i also want those kids to have some stability
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