#i just dont know what im gonna do in a year from now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mihai-florescu · 1 year

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Procrastinating my actual assignments got me writing poetry for the first time in over a year

#of course not related to the topic i chose for the project #i like doing the research im just scared of what comes after (#an art project)#ive gotten very scared of...that. i dont feel creative or worthy of even trying to be an artist anymore #i also hated the commercial field #im too much of a loner for the social field #and i dont care enough about myself to pursue autonomous projects #its fine #i just dont know what im gonna do in a year from now #assuming ive graduated on time and everything

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bacchuschucklefuck · 3 months

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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people

you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.

#fantasy high #fantasy high sophomore year #fhsy #riz gukgak #baron from the baronies #fh class quangle #class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao #ask to tag #I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what #in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends #they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff #theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron #cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace #lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a #horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre #Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary #and now u just have a Cool Monster #its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao #sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy #well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont #they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch #I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face #it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be #tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to #really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things #it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are #flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best #but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic

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peppermint-moss · 28 days

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✩ peppermint-moss commissions: open! ✩

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Want to commission me? fill out an order form from my website and send it to [email protected]!

Excited to say that my commissions are open again, this time with a new website!! please read my terms of service page.

This post is a more of a quick overview; my website has more details on what i will draw, my prices, the cutest little comic i drew just for the Process page (that i promise will also be posted to tumblr soon!!), and more! 💕

✩ if you'd like to support me but don't want a commission, i also have a ko-fi! ✩

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gifti3 · 2 months

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the au revives for a moment....more arranged marriage au stuff with asmo and reader! Last thing I posted was this. This new scenario def happens once Asmo starts to actual warm up to MC, hence why MC is acting the way they are.

but yea this ones pretty short but i think its worth sharing since i wrote most of it already!

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"Asmodeus can you please get out of my closet?"

He currently eyes one of your casual wears in his hand. "I'm almost done! I just wanted to see what you usually wear..."

Several maids also stood in your room, holding up different outfits you would wear on a day to day basis. Asmodeus kept handing them off to them as he kept going in and out of your closet.

You sigh at the unnecessary work he was giving the staff but they surprisingly seemed to be having fun talking among themselves and with him. Actually it shouldn't really be surprising at all. This was most definitely the norm for them.

You hold back an annoyed groan. "Okay well when you're done make sure everything is put back. I'm leaving."

"Ah! Wait come here. I need you actually! I want to see how these outfits actually look on you."

You stare at him and he stares right back. "......I'm not changing in and out of all these clothes. Asmodeus why exactly are you looking through my stuff anyways?"

"I'm obviously going to revitalize your whole wardrobe. You're welcome."

"You really don't need to do that." You immediately start worrying about the type of clothes Asmodeus would pick out. You had these clothes specifically cause they were comfortable for you appearance and physical wise.

You walk up to him a take your outfit out of his hands. "I like my clothes as they are thank you." You turn towards the maids, "Everyone please put everything back."

"Everyone stay."

The maids stand in place unsure of what to do with conflicting commands. However, they were technically were Asmodeus's maids first and yours second.

"MC I'm trying to do something nice for you?"

"I understand that but I like these clothes..."

You did not understand and didn't really consider it nice.

"I'm not going to get rid of what you have silly! I'm adding to it."

Oh. Well that didn't sound as bad...

"Still that's not really necessary. I'll probably just stick to what I already have."

Asmodeus lets out an over the top sigh. "It's bad to reject a gift dear. Trust me on this, ill pick things that fit you well. Now can you try on the outfit in your hand? It shouldn't be too hard to put on your own."

...Dear?

#asmodeus x reader #obey me asmodeus #obey me nightbringer #what if i said i forgot this was in my notes pretty much finished and i forgot about it🎤🎶#okay this is the last one i have done tho fr #i want to do one more scenario cause it would be cute #but not promising anything cause i have to write it out oof #and i make fan stuff very sparingly now #but i just wanna go back and post old stuff i have sitting around #so the work i did finish doesnt go to waste!#i have one other asmo fic unrelated to this im gonna post cause....it was a bday fic for him from over a year ago #im sorry asmo ahhhh #idk if anyone else is like this #where posting on socials is so tedious u dont wanna do it lol #ANYWAYS #thanks to the ppl who supported this au #its niche but knowing that even one other person liked it made me wanna keep exploring it #even if for a short while

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dreamsy990 · 11 months

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on the first day of school one time one of my teachers was asking the class to share all their opinions as like a get to know each other thing and one was 'is cheating okay' and apparently my opinion on this. did not align with almost anyone else (that couldve just been because they didnt want to admit it in class) so i am asking the people. to be clear when i say grade school i mean from grades 1-12. This is NOT about anything past that.

#personally! yes i do think it is okay to cheat!!!!#im fine with admitting ive cheated before #i think everyone has at some point #dont get me wrong i think school is important #obviously learn the material know what youre doing etc etc #but i think the actual class is way more important than test grades #i think my latin teacher has the right idea honestly #he completely cut out test grades from his class. he doesnt give tests he doesnt really give homework #your grade depends entirely on the amount of effort you put in #its learning for the sake of learning instead of memorizing things for a test #and i have learned just about as much latin from 2 months of classes with that teacher as i did in the couple years of spanish i took #i think the way tests in schools work is fundamentally flawed honestly. it works in theory but thats about it #okay im gonna stop now but. im curious!!

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hella1975 · 10 months

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ive never felt more rural than i have in the past few weeks since hanging out with a lad who has only ever lived in cities. what do you MEAN YOU'VE NEVER DONE A MORRIS DANCE

#he didn't even know what morris dancers WERE i said some shit like 'you know it's summer when the morris dancers come out'#and he was like 'the what now' I FEEL LIKE IM GOING CRAZY. HE'S FUCKING WITH ME SURELY #AND THIS HAPPENS SO OFTEN ABOUT THINGS I JUST ASSUMED WERE BASICS #'harvest festival 🤨' PARDON. YOU ARE JOKING #and also the CONCEPT of a village is baffling to him. i said there's probably about 100 people in my entire village #and we don't have a pub or a single shop the closest ones are in the NEXT village over which is a 3 mile walk #and this boy was HORRIFIED. we are both in a constant state of thinking the other is taking the piss #and now every time i think/do something abundantly rural im SO self-aware 😭#my mum told me the farmers are gonna do a xmas tractor run through our village this year #(they usually miss our village bc even by village standards it's tiny)#and she was like 'shame you'll miss it! i'll send you a video!' and im there already picturing this boy's face when i show it him #like sigh. yeah. yeah okay maybe the rural england is ingrained deeper than i feared. never escaping the allegations etc #had a conversation with him the other day that concluded with me 100% genuinely being like 'you need to touch grass'#i literally said 'i think it would fix you. like actually go and touch some grass what the fuck'#bc at this point he's so far removed from nature that it's INSANE TO ME. i didnt realise how much i took growing up rurally for granted #THESE PEOPLE DONT EVEN GET DRUNK IN FIELDS. THEY HAVE NO FIELDS. I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO HIM WHAT A CAMP OUT WAS

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zymstarz · 4 months

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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out

#zymart #zymtalk #rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st #the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL #i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board #bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route #and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week #then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly #in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized #after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly #SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it #oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi #i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie #[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now #idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim #but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it #anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe #edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j

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nomairuins · 27 days

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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And #make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not #saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was #going to say #like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so #bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the #winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000 #other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but #i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its #been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody #responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple #muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it #but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like #im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good #solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start #all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the #punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4 #im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but #even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think #avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is #like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they #hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be #the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO #difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15 #minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case #it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel #stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and #tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i #tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction #like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint

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faaun · 1 month

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ok let's catch up quickly

#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth #(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian #like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told #him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive #fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research #(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux #to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him #my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept #insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them #and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating #apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they #keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading #this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY #JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT #NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn #this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore #i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt #himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure #even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin #right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love #her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her #its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking #kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD #i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society #feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO #WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best #its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good #one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much

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triglycercule · 15 days

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me when i find the PERFECT mtt song (yamitsuki,,,,,,,, maretu my king how did you do it,,,,,,,,,,,,, literally HOW did you do it why is this song weirdly accurate wtf and its for a completely different character 2??? HOW DID YOU DO THIS??? THE ENTIRE FUCKING SONG FITS??? THE ENTIRE SONG COULD BE MADE TO HAVE CONNECTIONS WITH ONLY MILD REACHING??? HELLO??????) (this translation!!!) (the translation is not.linking i will be shooting myself. its the on on the vocaloid wiki NOTthe video....)

literally like. 1/3 is horror. 1/3 is dust. and then the last is killer. in that order. the first 2 verses talk about bloodshot pain (bloodshot EYES.... HORROR'S EYE) and a rotting fatal wound (THE FUCKING HEAD CRACK!!! HIS GODDAMN HEAD WOUND!!!!). commiting brutality. i dont think much else is needed. wrong/right and judging biases,,,,, jesus fuck wtf. AND THEN in the next verse there's a mention of "starving for necessary evil" HELLO!!!! HELLO!!!!!!! him starving himself while also feeding snowdin human which totally sucks,,,,,, horror sans,,,,,,???? chorus of shrill voices (duh snowdin. or also could be undyne and royale guard. i like snowdin more). and then the last line of the second verse mentions sadism. nothing more to say. horror sans i mayhaps perchance mightve just encountered you in a song. or maybe the translation is freakily accurate and the song itself isnt that specific (probably but hey i can dream)

and then th next 2 verses r dust except i dont really know about the first verse but also a line that says "this is the death of the conflict, come and see me" could be referring to the human's death which like. man. and then the next verse is just dust sans but in a single verse. give me more excellent pain could be interpreted as LV but also the mental pain that comes with yk..... killing all you love.LOVE. LV. he needs more LV... anyways. mad off the beaten track. MAD. MENTION OF MAD LIKE CRAZY LIKE MAD TIME LIKE DUST SANS!!!! echoes of a haughty voice resound,,,,, phantom paps,,,,, "severe punishment, 100 renouned sights, i long for pure pessimism" i cant explain this one well i think but just think about it okay. this time you get to be the one coming up with the ideas (σ´∀`)σ

killer only has one verse that i can link this song 2 but i also think its th most freakily accurate. verse 1 is "through instantaneous joy, entertain me for my whole life, i'm cunningly"LUCKY". i get completely bored. give me pleasure without worry. and now, right away." and then "i'd rather head to eternal darkness. i'll abide by you always, emptily "HAPPY". i shed tears from my clear white eyes. come and show me your best smile!" HELP HELP HELP THEYRE SHOOTING ME HELP HELP!!!! THEY JUMPING ME (these lyrics) because WTFyhis isFREAKILY accurate. the entire first verse and its spiel on boredom and having someone else manage the entertainment/emotions,,,, and the cunningly lucky part is just. i think the word cunning is just really good to describe killer (sneaky little bastard) and then he's "lucky" emphasis on quotes because idk he got chosen for whatever the fuck his chara wants. what luck. really bad luck but whatever. and then MORE on the following another person and EMPTILY!!! EMPTY!!! KILLER FEEL NOTHING EMPTY!!!! fake happy too,,,, and killer has white eyelights sooo IM NOT REACHING!!! also he literally cries

in conclusion MARETU is a god amongst men and somehow this song managed to fit the mtt i have no idea how. next coming up: how NAMIDA fits horror. how thirst fits dust. how i'm high fits killer. idk if i already said this one probably did BUT JUST IN CASE maretu also has maegamist,,,,, maretu i knew i listened to you for a reason. so i could make totally irrational and unreasonable connections of your songs to the fucking murder time trio of all things. what joy

#me when i complain about not listening to music in english and then i see this GEM #yk what... its okay i'll never get to understand songs on the first listen #its OK that ill never get to have it easy when it comes to lyric translations...... ITS OK!#i might totally be upset that i cant just point to a song and be like this is mtt or something because i have to check the fucking wiki #this is your sign to listen to more vocaloid. you probably already do but like. LISTEN TO MORE #last years spotify wrapped for me was all pepoyo can i be considered a true fan now #everysong is murder time trio if you reach hard enough. if you just SQUINT..... you can see them in it #cannot believe ive been listening to this the entire time and i never checked the lyrics to see #see this is why!!! im missing out on mtt content if i dont check lyrics!!!!!!!!#and the songs a fucking banger too. i love how dramatic snd threatening it gets on the killer section #idk i just think the chanting in the background is cool. and so killer. thats him btw. he's waving wave back to him!!!!!#i cant WAIT for Spotify wrapped this year.... im so excited to see #i already know who's gonna be number 1 (my queen pepoyo) but still #i found lonePi later in this year so i wanna know if lonepi managed to beat maretu or not. probably not idk #theres a lot of songs i consider mtt related. theyre in a differently filed section of music in my head than everything else #tricule rant #days of not posting about mtt has my brain thinking about them in overtime #or these are just built up ideas from the past few days i didnt talk about. eitherway a person that thinks all the time #i dont feel like making more posts explaining those last few songs i mentioned in the last paragraph #if you read the lyrics on the wiki youll understand. if not you need to adapt my mindset

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svnflowermoon · 4 months

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why can i literally not function at school like i swear i'm trying i just can't focus????

#luc posts #like i take notes but then i get bored and the doodle on the side of my page thst was meant to take 5 seconds took 10 minutes :(#and then im lost and bc im lost i get all fidgety and i keep doodling and then jts just a cycle #if i work for 20 minutes i feel like ive ran a marathon and i have to take a 40 minutes drawing/staring into the distance break #and im gonna fail maths but theres literally nothing i can do no matter what i do I can't focus for over 20 minutes at a time #and then its the end of class and i feel guilty bc oh i didnt do any work :( like i feel bad and i want to fix it but idk whats wrong so ho #can i fix it if i dont know whats wrong with meeeee #ugh #it literally makes me want to cry am i just lazy is that what it is am i literally useless why cant i work #like i was so ahead kf the average grades and i never learnt to study and now ugh i dont know how to function so i just dont #and it doesn't help that my friends are all geniuses #like they complain about their one mark away from full marks and im just like OH MY GOD if i could just focus then i coukd do so well #likr ok i guess i wont mention tjst i failed that test bc yall sre complaining about getting one mark off fukl makrs #likr fuckkkk okay i have so mucb potential why di i waste jt :(((((#i hate school so mucb #i genuinely consider dropping out sometimes like I CANT DO THIS hiw do these peiole di ut how hiw how someone tell me how to function #like these peiole getting top marks withiut eben truijgn and i tyr and i cant fishcis so i fail snd then ufh i want to die #bc its so embarassing i eas like top 10% of the class a few years ago and now i just cant function like how do these peiple do itso #someone explain ot me how oieolem focus and dony get distracted and ginish things kike ugh

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soggypotatoes · 2 months

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part of why I had to stay up all night is bc a few nights ago I ruined everything bc I found a lil naked baby doll on the side of the road and it distressed me, so I spent the night learning how to sew her a dress

and by 'learning' I mean googling how to sew, deciding nah I don't need that I can figure it out. then googling how to sew a dress for baby doll. but all the tutorials looked too long so I didn't read any. somehow I did actually make a decent dress

#like im shocked that it turned out ok #it looks like a dress! it tapers in a little and everything!#but theres loose strings everywhere cause idk what youre meant to do with the ends #like how you finish sewing so it doesnt undo itseld #i literally dont know how to sew guys i just hate instructions #but i got some cute fabrics im gonna try to make another one now that i know 1% of what im doing #ed mumbles #i bought a sewing kit from a dollar store 4 years ago and im finally using it lol

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welcometoteyvat · 1 year

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jing yuan and yanqing are giving zhongli and xiao if the latter’s canon relationship was Actually fanon’s made up father figure/adopted child dynamic

#idkkkkkkkkkkkkk who looks at zx and is like 'you know what. this is a healthy parent child relationship'#like girl by fitting them into father son boxes you are actively making their relationship imbalance Worse #if you do that and dont shy away from it i respect that but if you say dad/son makes their relationship more wholesome or whatever like WHY #now i wont deny shippers might do that too but i see the dad son version so much i think im just averse to it by default #also because i think father son makes people actively Try to make their relationship something that its not and it erases a bunch of subtlet #subtleties in it. it's the nuanced r/ship -> entirely unproblematic and flavorless r/ship that i hate #also the number of people who'll block if you ship zx. like damn thats crazy you guys really think theyre father son (fake)???#at their peak they're like. 4000 year old guys who have too much history and repression and some weird entanglement of 'nah im bothering him #too much' and 'gotta protect him w my life' complexes. and then this devolves into theyre never gonna kiss until 3000 more years have passed #listen they just Contain Multitudes idc if you dont ship it just dont make it into dad and son and we will be so gucci #jing.yuan and yanqing are like different i think mostly bc yanqing is actually like a minor and jing yuan is also a normal ish person #plus the light cone and the abouts?? yeah this is an actual like adopted parent/child thing #also good or bad news i caved and am now playing hsr. the plan is to pull yanqing and then go on infinite hiatus in the game 👍#JWKFLJWEK i dont think theres really any draws for me besides him. personally neutral on turn based combat and the open world isn't giving #the only saving grace i have rn is 1) ive gotten to the part where bron.seele is real and man theyre gay 2) trailblazer trio 3) tall female #mc 4) everyone has way better emoting abilities than genshin 5) su.shang's really cute <3 #the story doesnt really interest me though its like cool but not mindgrippingly interesting #tbf i think genshin is the same way storyline wise (at the beginning) but the difference is that turn based combat isnt really my thing LMAO #ramblings!#zhongxiao #if you want to filter it out ??

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violasmirabiles · 3 months

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apartment update: still no pictures cos everythings still Ass but that old desk of my sister in laws thats very nice and all but kind of in the way is gonna go to my old room in my parents house. and in its place im gonna get my old bookshelf from my old room. in my parents house

#its this like almost 20-year-old lundia that i think could do with an extra shelf piece #cos when it was first assebled i had this bigass cd/cassette player with big separate speakers #and theres this huge space to accommodate it all. i havent had that system in Years and now theres tons of empty air in there #where a Lot more books could fit #sure my record collections there but again i dont have a player. but i do have books. and they COULD fit that goddamn lundia #IF i only had EVEN THAT ONE extra shelf piece.#i do need to make an inventory of what books from that old shelf simply need to Go.#like for example i do Not need those hardcover finnish harry potter books #and i need to make a decision about the finnish hardcovers of dark towers 3 and 4 #on the one hand story good on the other hand the translation makes me want to either kill myself or just. make a better translation #like the translations bad in ways that cant all be explained by sking being Like That #much like that shining translation i consulted for the finnish version of that gbu x shining fic. god that sucked ASS #i dont know if it was the same translator. but man. its like hey man do you like. Understand what youre reading. is this a first draft #anyway. the parents are going to the summer cottage tomorrow so the desk/lundia exchange wont happen till sometime next week #also also next week my brother and sister in law are coming over for tea (i need him to put up my curtains im too 160cm for that 😔)#and! im gonna get a pakig tomorrow. with a vacuum cleaner in it #home

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toastsnaffler · 10 months

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in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....

#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns-#that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭#to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space #like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use-#to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol)#to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum-#or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else #other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh #to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn #i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding #and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt #unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world...#its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow #and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while..#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation #abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol #and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever #and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress #i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters.....#altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes #like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up #a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl #ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs #im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌#another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo #.diaries #zzzzz

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opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months

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#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan #i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch #shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else #even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress #but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside #academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project #i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send #myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it #but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or #maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something #just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there #it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so #tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing #ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position #and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle #sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux #i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices #even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it #unrelated

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