#i just felt like word vomiting

[bluespiritshonour]

Thinking about how popular Mai would've been if she were a boy. Like, can you imagine?people would've swooned over her like they swoon over, idk, Jet—it just occured to me that I like her because she's so unconventional for a female character.

Girls like Mai exist in real world—but women are rarely allowed to be complex and three dimensional and grey in fiction.

I would argue that Mai is a grey character; she did start out as Azula's lackey. And well, that's a fictional girl; I found her apathy stan-worthy.

I love that she constantly has a bitch face. She cracks dry/dark jokes. Wears black. Is mysterious and stoic. Does everything she can to disregard authority/even though she's not confrontational about it. (There's one difference. Bad boys are usually very confrontational).

All these characteristics exist in popular male characters. (Except for one thing that I've noticed: most of these “bad boy” characters are volatile and yet, are described as broody/stoic, like, dude. That ain't stoic, that's so emotional.)

So yeah. Coming back to Mai. Imagine if she were a boy.

A boy who's apathetic and has no passion for anything. A boy who's constantly bored/a thrill-seeker/has nothing he cares about. A boy who has a shutter for a face and rarely expresses himself, is amazing with knives and hand-to-hand combat and is gloomy.

There's nothing he cares about because caring gets people hurt and everyone wants something and is two-faced so it's safe to be a mask of indifference. Until—hold on—until he meets a passionate, hot-headed girl who's ✨ different ✨and if not anything, wears her heart on her sleeve/is an open book...

Yes, I'm talking about Zuko.

...and oh, oh, would you look at that? Now he has something to fight for!

I mean, for Mai, Zuko (after Ty Lee) is the only other person in front of whom she can be herself.

Reminds me of “he's only nice to her” trope. Sorry.

“You're so beautiful when you hate the world.”

“I don't hate you.”

Just imagine Mai as a boy. People would eat it up. They don't like her 'cause she's a girl.

[zuzu-draws]

So after the spoilers for Chap 257 dropped, I saw some tweets clarifying the meaning of the Kanji Sukuna used in the chapter when referring to his mother, and the overall reveals in the chapter got me thinking.

I’m making this post as a way of gathering my thoughts, personal speculations and where I think all of this connects to Sukuna’s character and the information Gege has given us over the years. Nothing I say is by any means new information, but like I said, I’m just collecting my thoughts here. By the way, just a warning, this post contains SPOILERS for the JJK Manga! If you don’t like that, please don’t read this!

Something I’ve noticed is that the theme of “Hunger” and symbolism of “Cooking/Food” is heavily referenced with Sukuna throughout the Manga. Gege in a previous Fanbook has disclosed Sukuna’s favorite Hobby to be “Eating”.

This theme is again very much ingrained within Sukuna’s cursed techniques and even his Domain Expansion, the “Malevolent Shrine”. With his two main techniques being “Dismantle” and “Cleave” are cutting-type attacks. He is also able to use a Flame-Arrow, and Fire is essential for making Food. The Shrine in his Domain Expansion literally has mouths on all sides, looking eager to chew down anything in-front of them!

This symbolism also heavily influences Sukuna’s own manner of speech, and the way he speaks to other characters in the series as well. With his post-fight chat with Jogo before his death, Sukuna mentions Jogo lacking the “Hunger” to take control of his desires, preventing him from reaching the heights of Gojo Satoru. Before the Start of their fight in Shinjuku, Sukuna called Gojo a “Nameless Fish on top of his cutting board”, and that he was going to start by “Peeling off the scales”(refering to Gojo’s infinity). There’s also further symbolism that supports this by analyzing the Kanji and meaning of Sukuna’s “Malevolent Shrine” but I’m not very educated on that so I won’t be opening that point here.

What all of this points to is that Eating and Food……is extremely important to Sukuna, to the point that it literally affects him in manners innumerable.

Eating is an instinct, a necessity for the survival of every single living being.

And In the face of extreme Hunger and starvation, even those with the strongest will could lose their Humanity and revert to the basic animalistic side of their existence. (The Heian Period also had a Famine, although I believe the timing to be a bit off, but do with this info as you see fit)

In JJK Chapter 257, it is revealed to us that Sukuna and his Twin were most likely starving in the womb of their starving mother.

On the brink of starvation, Sukuna had to consume his “other self”(his twin), so that he could survive.

Btw, this tweet and this thread gives additional characterisation to Sukuna:

Link to the original thread: Link.

More context (and reactions :P):

Link to original thread: Here

This reveals to us that indeed, Sukuna was born a twin. And as we all know, “Twins” are seen with extreme scrutiny in Jujutsu Society, they’re not well liked. This too in a period where Cursed Spirits and Jujutsu Sorcery was at its peak, it is not far-fetched to assume that his Mother may not have been treated very well by the people in her surroundings, especially as she bore twins.

When Kashimo asks if Sukuna was born the Strongest or if he made himself the Strongest, this is the response Sukuna gave to him:

When you think about it, how do you think the people around them would have reacted when the woman: who was supposed to birth two twins, gave birth to a single child instead? and that child had consumed his other twin in the womb itself?

No doubt people would’ve been horrified, disgusted and even revulsed. With the woman and her newborn child.

This would’ve led to their further ostracisation in the already very close-minded society. Unable to fend for herself and her newborn child, it must’ve been difficult for Sukuna’s mother to survive. I feel like somewhere along the line, Sukuna was left alone to fend for himself at an extremely young age. To protect himself from both Curses and Society alike.

This is why I believe Sukuna knows what true starvation, weakness and hunger feels like. Both in the emotional and literal sense. He was left without another person caring about him or his well-being, in a cut-throat period where it was “Fight or be killed”.

Powerful curses roamed all across Japan, nowhere was safe. Simply be strong, or you'll die. There's no room for weakness. And initially, a kid!Sukuna was weak, as anyone would be in the beginning when they're just starting out in this world. (and maybe, he didn't have much to eat, leading to long periods of starvation? :') )

I believe it is this debilitating hunger, and feeling of weakness that eventually led to Sukuna’s current Hedonistic mindset.

He’s essentially traumatised by it, and believes that it was his own weakness that led him to experience this sheer starvation. That he deserved to feel this way because he was weak then. Perhaps, the people around him were right, that as long as they have the power and strength to overcome anything, they’re free to do as they please; And there is nothing anyone else could do about it.

I feel like the irony here is that Sukuna himself, must’ve been a “weakling” before eventually rising the ranks to become History’s Strongest Sorcerer. This is also why he values Strength so much.

Ultimately, Sukuna has decided that there was nothing more important than being strong enough to fulfill your own desires. And “eating” is one of his most important desires. It’s his favourite thing to do, the one he derives the most pleasure out of. And like an animal, whose main focus is to consume, consume and consume. He too, simply consumes.

Most morals likely have no meaning to him. He doesn’t care who he hurts, what he does, as long as he’s able to get what he wants. And this isn’t limited to eating.

This is why people referring to Sukuna as a “Natural Disaster” is so befitting of him. Because Natural Disasters also don’t care about what or who they’re destroying, they just come and go, wreaking havoc appropriate for their nature and magnitude.

I believe Sukuna himself has said lines similar in nature, when talking to Kashimo:

Now I’m not sure how Sukuna perceives or even experiences this “Love”, because I think he has a rather very warped idea of it. I do think that this definition of love is similar to the one that Gojo also understands, but I don’t think he knows what “love” truly is. I’m not sure how I could comment on this, but I do think that Sukuna’s emotionally starved, whether he realises that or not.

Because, like Kashimo himself asked Sukuna “What is the point of dividing your soul into 20 different parts and then traversing across time if you’re satisfied with this?” we do not know the answer to that yet.

But many people have speculated that “Black Box” panels in JJK manga represent a curse (either self-inflicted or put by someone) on the speaker. Like, take a look over here where Sukuna reiterates the same dialogue, except it looks like he’s trying to reassure himself:

This once again shows that Sukuna has only ever strived for himself, in the same hedonistic fashion, to a very very extreme degree. It is possible that he's been lacking something, and he himself does not realise that he’s lacking it. Maybe it was this subconscious feeling, that led to Sukuna agreeing to Kenjaku’s plan of dividing his soul into 20 different parts, and to traverse across time as a Cursed Object.

Sukuna’s an incredibly complex character, and I’m excited to see where this goes. Gege has put extra care in the way he characterizes and depicts Sukuna, and again, I’m really sad that a lot of that characterization gets lost in translation. Still, I’m going to try my best to understand and get the most accurate feel of his character as I possibly can.

If you made it this far, Thank you for reading! And if you would like, please do leave a comment in the tags or replies because I would love to read what other people think of this and just Sukuna in general. I do not see a lot of people doing critical analysis of him, and a lot of his actions are seemingly swept under the rug. I don’t like that, so hopefully this contributes to people focusing more on Sukuna and his character. (/^v^)/ <3

[turtleblogatlast]

Thinking about the Don Suave scene and what it means in terms of LGBTQ+ representation because my brain does nothing if not torment me with random topics to ramble about on the regular.

Anyway, I just wanted to ramble about why I like the scene but to get it out of the way - the scene can very easily be interpreted in so many different ways, and all of them are valid. I personally see it as Leo having at least some attraction to a man. And the following is an explanation of my own interpretation and thoughts on it and what it means especially for Leo’s portrayal in the grand scheme of things.

Long-winded interpretation under the cut!

Now, to start with, it’s important to me that in the scene Leo looks at Don Suave in the very beginning and then for the entirety of the rest of the time the man is on screen, Leo’s eyes are closed. Yet, in the end, he is still visibly enamored with Don Suave, happily cuddling up to him as he’s being carried away.

You can very easily interpret this as Leo being spellbound and that’s honestly super valid and I believe he likely was at least somewhat in the beginning, but considering how fast he looked away and how he never looked again, I personally think it makes more sense to read it as Leo just finding the man attractive, at least somewhat. (For the record, I personally headcanon Rise Leo as bisexual with a heavy preference for men, but I want to be blunt when I say that any interpretation is valid. Literally any. Ace, pan, gay, bi, none of the above or a mixture of something new literally all of it is more than okay and fair. Hell you could even interpret this entire scene as more romantic attraction than physical and it would still work. Anything goes!! Don’t bother people, guys, really.)

The main reason I take this scene to be at the very least LGBTQ+ adjacent isn’t just because of how it’s portrayed, but because of who Leonardo is. Not in terms of Rise of the TMNT, but in terms of the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles™️ franchise.

Leo’s a character who, while changing with each iteration, has still at his core been around for decades upon decades as “the blue one”. One fourth of the team. He’s the one most are going to look at as the Leader, and oftentimes he is the one closest to having the title of Main Character. Not to say the others aren’t just as important, but Leo’s presence in the A plots of basically all TMNT media is often something very main character-esque.

And that’s very, very important to note. Here we have a Main Character of a prolific and decades long-running franchise distributed by a children’s television network. You can play around with his and his brothers’ characters all you like, but there is always going to be challenges to dodge around, especially since this was still in 2018-2019.

For example, you can play around with their designs so long as they’re color coded turtles, but their sexualities? Now that’s tricky.

“But what about Hypno and Warren?” Not main characters and also they’re Rise originals. They have a lot more room to play around with than a character like Leo does. But even talking about main characters in the franchise, you could arguably have an easier time playing around with Donnie or Mikey’s sexualities than Leo or even Raph, as (unfortunately) the former two tend to get more B plots, so they’d likely have had a little more leeway (still not a lot though.)

So, where does this leave us?

It leaves us in a place where outright stating and/or showing undeniable proof of Leo’s attraction to men is very, very difficult. So, workarounds!

Workarounds like the entire Don Suave situation.

To be honest, as left up to interpretation and lowkey and deniable as it is, this whole scene means a lot to me because of who Leo is as a character. It’s just nice when we get so see even the bare bones of representation with characters that have been such a large part of pop culture for decades, y’know? Even if more would be so much nicer, this is better than I thought we’d ever get for these boys.

And, again, literally nothing I’ve said is the only way to interpret it, I’m more than happy when people interpret media on their own honestly, it’s just something I’ve been thinking of lately and I was wondering if others felt the same way.

Whatever you think when you interpret this scene or Rise Leo as a whole, I just thought this would be interesting to think about, even if it was ramble-y, haha.

[pinkhairandpokemon]

I know it’s a pretty common chosen/kid hero thing to joke about our trauma all like “LMAO yeah I stopped the end of the world when I was in middle school nbd” and Feel numb to it for a while but at some point when your life has actually been going normal for a long enough time you have those moments at like... 5 am where you reflect on how actually fucked up all of that was and then you either want to punch a wall or cry or both

and then you feel like shit but don’t wanna tell anyone bc you think “everything is fine right now I have no reason to be upset or dump it on anyone else”

-Blake

[eloiselikescheese]

Don’t you guys love that piece of media where a blonde boy falls for cute brunette boy with a Hispanic dad, one is gay, one is bisexual in denial, and the gay boy makes the bisexual realize he’s bi, though the gay boy has kinda always known. The bi boy realizes he’s bi because of their first kiss at a party when the blonde wanted to get away, but after that kiss it was really bad because the bisexual was confused and the gay thought he had crossed a line. Then the gay tries so hard to apologize but the bisexual shuts him up with a kiss. So they start having a secret relationship, the blonde boy LOVES touching the brunette’s hair. There’s also this jerk who the brunette has a past with who threatens to reveal their secret. (Though this plot line is a bit different from the book to the live action version.) Once their secret is out, the blonde’s really jerky brother is HORRIBLE to him about it. The brunette has this awesome sister who would do anything to protect him. She knew they were together long before he confirmed it for her. The first time they say I love you, the bisexual is absolutely soaked with water, but he doesn’t care, he just needs the other boy to know he loves him. 

Anyways I’ve watched this piece of media and read the book version several times. 

[plusultraetc]

Saw the tags on the Toshinori post and do you have more to share?? Any insights? If so I’d welcome hearing them 😭 He really is so self-sacrificial and it hurts but it’s truly at the core of who he is

This has been sitting in my inbox for almost a week because I needed to make a futile effort at organizing my thoughts into something coherent--but this is as organized as they're going to get for now! Thank you so so much for the ask though bc I do love to yell about MHA <3

(Obligatory reminder that I'm watching this show in such a confusing order so if what I'm about to rant about has been addressed before and I'm harping on it unnecessarily I Am Sorry.)

(For anyone curious, this is the post btw)

SO. It feels relevant to mention that my sister and I were talking about All Might in the first place because we were talking about MHA Moments That Haunt Us. For me, it's the 'I am not here' sign hanging around the neck of the All Might statue in Kamino Ward after the Paranormal Liberation War. It literally lives in my brain rent-free 24/7 365 days a year, especially with the AM vs AFO fight being relatively fresh in my mind. The reversal of All Might's catchphrase and all it represents hurts, but to display it at the site of his 'last stand' in Kamino? That's brutal.

All Might vs All For One and how that rematch plays out is so so important to the story for so many reasons, but one of them is that the fight itself is a sacrifice. Toshinori gives everything he has, short of his life, to defeat All For One. He gives up his physical strength, his public image as the unbeatable Symbol of Peace, and, effectively his Quirk ("Goodbye, All For One. Goodbye, One For All" haunts my every waking moment, still!)

This battle is also the culmination of years of All Might's life and heroic philosophy (because Toshinori has been both practicing AND preaching self-sacrifice in the name of the greater good since we met him. It's what he thinks a hero does). Kamino is the sacrifice to end all sacrifices, if you will. Yes, he does get to walk away from the fight with AFO, but he walks away irrevocably different, almost unrecognizable. He's forced to totally change his focus and his mindset and his life. Everything he has given up is made literally visible in the deterioration of his body.

But most most importantly, All Might's sacrifice at Kamino was... all for nothing. Even if AM defeated him in that moment, All For One is free less than a year later. The world is in shambles. People are afraid, and their faith in heroes is crumbling. Heroes are afraid, and this time, they have no idealized symbol to rally behind. When Dostoevsky wrote "Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing," he was talking about All Might btw.

Toshinori gave this fight (and his career, and being All Might) everything he had, and it still wasn't enough. He sacrificed so much of himself, and so much of how he perceived himself and his purpose, and he didn't even save the world. He just bought them time--and not much of it. I think that's why he's so desperate to keep fighting, no matter the cost, no matter what condition he's in--even 'quite literally half-dead.' He can't let Kamino be the Symbol of Peace's final stand, because Kamino was ultimately for nothing. Instead of saving the world, it has been reframed through the sign on the statue as All Might abandoning the world. And ever since then, he's been scrambling to prove that he is still here.

(There's also probably something here about Sir Nighteye telling him that he was going to die. Since Nighteye used his Quirk on him, Toshinori has been anticipating sacrificing his life for good. Knowing that his entire hero career is effectively a fight to the death has probably maximized his self-sacrificial tendencies.)

[rucow]

my humble era is over, i now claim ownership over my faves and i Will be your voryn/phantom/hircine/fíli mutual. all yuor blorbos are belong me now

[naenaex0xx]

maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread  

Tears in the Water

NA contemporary slice of life romance about a competitive swimmer with anxiety at a sports university

they start seriously questioning their gender when they make some new friends and start dating a trans volleyball player

queer friend groups, aspec characters

[microwavepopcorn]

[bluespiritshonour]

Another thing I've been muling over: a complain I've seen about Maiko is that she keeps him from going on the right path—and... I agree.

For Mai, Zuko's well-being is her sole concern and the rest of the world could crash and burn and that's... Okay?

Realistically speaking, your support system should NOT be one person. One thing I love about ATLA is that (despite romance writing not being one of it's strong points) the lack of ships that follow the tropes.

Kataang is not an archetype. Neither is Sukka or Maiko.

Having your support system be just your romantic partner isn't healthy (for them or for you) or realistic. But most romances do that and until I watched ATLA it didn't occurred to me that that's not a good thing.

ATLA and Maiko are very realistic in that Zuko needs both the Gaang and Mai. He needs the Gaang to hold him accountable for every shitty little thing he did—and he needs Mai there to keep from spiraling and self-destruction.

Zuko and his uncle were de facto conquerors, so they had to do much more to redeem themselves than Mai and Ty Lee (mere soldiers, but NOT innocent) had to.

Zuko had to work hard to earn the Gaang's forgiveness (personal opinion: he should've grovelled more and he should've been called out on his racism against Aang) and Uncle Iroh reconquered Ba Sing Se in the name of it's people.

They both did reparations to the very people they hurt. And their crimes were much more direct and vicious compared to Mai and Ty Lee’s.

As someone not as responsible as them, Mai and Ty Lee's redeeming themselves was at the Boiling Rock.

And well, when Zuko is Firelord right after the war—he would be paying for the crimes of his ancestors. He needs the Gaang there to keep from acting like he did with Katara pre-Southern Raiders (everyone else seems to have forgiven me!) and he needs Mai to keep himself from actually spiralling into self-destruction and undeserved guilt (Sozin's and Ozai's faults aren't his even if he's paying for it and someone needs to remind him that)

So, yeah. He needs them both for different things.

As for Mai, her conflict was that she was never allowed to express herself. And loving Zuko made up for that—she finally stands up for something she believes in (not in the cause, but in Zuko) and Zuko didn't even have to do anything beside exist. He didn't “fix her.”

Although, again I do have the the complain that Mai has to do a lot of emotional labour for him and if you really are gonna shit on Maiko: it's Zuko who needs to step up, not Mai—well, Mai tried to “fix him” and she couldn't!

That's so important to me!—I’m tired of girl fixes boy narrative. And she couldn't fix him because only he could fix himself and Mai herself is used to making the best out of a situation and being selfish/passive/choosing the path of least resistance. She tried to do to Zuko what worked for her (or maybe didn't, considering she was coping)—and well—later when Zuko's Firelord it'll be Mai who keeps him from harming himself.

Zuko needs both to be balanced out.

He needs multiple people to act as support system and that's both healthy and realistic. Mai isn't everything and neither should she be.

I know what the comics did; don't bring them up here. It's not about the comics.

[thebroccolination]

I saw you mentioned Queer As Folks recently. OMG how I missed Brian and Justin. When they went angst, they reeeeeaaaally served angst. I seriously don't have access to watch the entire series in my country, I can only watch snippets from youtube. I'm so sad 😭 Can you share with me what you like most about QaF and maybe if you have your favorite Ao3 fics about them. Thank you so much, Key ❤

Aaahhh, Anon!

You've unsurfaced some deep memories.

Okay, I just finished writing the thesis below. I'm back from the future. A lot of what you're about to read is pure emotion, so I apologize that it's not, uh. Well structured or especially rational. Queer as Folk was very formative for me, so my thoughts on it are very formless. \:D/

•

I watched Queer as Folk in high school, and it was a core experience. I vaguely remember writing Brian/Justin fic, but I think I mainly just read, and unfortunately, all of the fic I read was on LiveJournal, so I have no idea how to find it anymore. I'm really, really bad with names and titles, so I'd really only know them if I saw them again. :')

I have hot takes, though!

As far as fandom goes, the US version was phenomenal. So much fic. So much fic, and I loved it so much. The fanvids, the art, the meta, etc. It was such a great fandom.

BUT as a show, I preferred the UK version. I thought it was better crafted, the story and characters felt a lot stronger, and the dialogue was fantastic. It felt more inclusive in every way, and it had this…cozy warmth to it. Even at his worst, Stuart is nowhere near as much of a menace as Brian, and I think that's because he has Vince, and Brian has Michael.

(I didn't like Michael. At all. \:D/ The actor is lovely! I just regularly pined for the character to be pushed through a nineteenth floor window and then get stepped on by an elephant tourist visiting family at the Pittsburgh Zoo.)

The US version also screamed Written by White Cis Gay Men Who Held a Weird Grudge Against Lesbians and Didn't Believe Bisexuality Is Real. I was a "definitely straight except for that one time and that other time and that other other time I had suspiciously queer thoughts and also argued a shade too passionately about queer rights at the dinner table" teenager, and while I loved Brian and Justin as a ship, the UK version made me feel like I could find friends who'd feel like family one day. (And it came true, and they're queer, too.)

I think of the US version of Queer as Folk as fandom fodder. After every episode, I'd dive into LiveJournal, read fics, meta, look up fanvids, etc. I learned so much from Elder Queers who talked about safe sex and the importance of getting tested and all the things either referenced in the show or totally ignored that Elder Queers were like, "This was ignored but if you're ever in Justin's situation, here is what you do, please promise you'll do this."

The UK version is the one I rewatch when I want to revisit that warm, safe feeling.

And it'll always fuck my brain up that the US showrunners of Queer as Folk watched Stuart fuck a fifteen-year-old that was blatantly framed as "this is a bad thing, Stuart is doing a bad thing, everyone is aware that this is a bad thing, this is very bad, Stuart" and thought, "Okay, the bad thing is that he's fifteen, so let's age him up to seventeen and make him the love interest instead of the best friend who's the same age."

MIND. BLOWN.

I mean, it explains why Michael's all [evocative hand gestures]. His English counterpart actually ended up with his hot Irish best friend. And, like, Vince is obsessed with Dr. Who, so they gave Michael comic books? Like? Why not Star Trek? And he's obsessed with Brian and has the same soul-destroying crush that Vince has on Stuart, but there's a point to Vince's crush on Stuart the point is that they end up together and Nathan is a high school boy who is genuinely meant to be a blip on the radar in the background of their story.

It's been long enough that I don't hate Michael anymore, I'm just still fascinated by CowLip's bizarre story decisions.

Here's how I'll summarize my complicated relationship with the US version of Queer as Folk:

Season five was an insult to me personally, and I never watched the last episode. That stupid ending reversed all five seasons of Brian's character arc and landed him exactly where he was in the first episode, only multiple years older. And CowLip talked about it like it was brilliant and not a pathological misunderstanding of how storytelling is meant to operate to connect with audiences.

But.

I remember watching the Babylon bombing episode. Viscerally. I was staying at my sister's house, and I waited until everyone fell asleep. I snuck into their home office to watch the episode on their computer because I kept all queer media I watched secret from everyone in my very conservative family. I turned the volume down to one bar, kept the lights off, and held my shallow breath whenever the house made any kind of noise. Because Brian had never said "I love you" before, and this was it, because he thought Justin would be one of those corpses rolled out on a gurney from the club where they met, where their friends and family all gathered, the only place they felt safe being gay.

And many years later, when something similar happened far, far away at Pulse in Orlando, a memory surfaced of secretly watching an episode about love and desperation and grief. Of feeling caged inside a sexuality prescribed to me. And it was the first time I came out on social media.

Because it was a ridiculous show in some ways, and a terribly written one sometimes, but I think it also cut to the quick for many of us who just…didn't have anything else. We didn't have many options back then, and the fandom was massive, and it nudged me a little closer to understanding who I am and who I love.

[stillm0nster]

what  prompted  milo  to  leave  his  comfortable  bed  at  1:00am  and  venture  around  to  find  a  place  where  he  can  buy  flowers?  he  had  no  clue–-  well,  maybe  he  does  have  a  clue  but  why  rush  to  put  labels?  despite  his  desire  to  get  an  actual  bouquet,  while  looking  at  the  flowers  at  the  only  open  flower  shop  in  the  neighborhood,  milo  realized  he  didn't  know  what  is  haerin's  favorite  flower.  a  single  rose  caught  his  attention,  thinking  how  he  couldn’t  go  wrong  with  this  one.  wasn’t  it  too  bold  though?  the  confident  guy  was  really  overthinking  it  now.  guess  a  lot  of  the  questions  he  was  having  could  be  answered  with  this  -  he  was  in  love.  in  like  as  he  would  prefer  to  put  it.  no  rush,  remember.

after  dropping  his  coat  at  home,  he  found  himself  at  haerin's  door.  2:14am.  what  if  she's  asleep?  milo  rubbed  his  free  hand  against  his  hoodie,  his  palms  feeling  sweaty  all  of  a  sudden.  taking  the  rose  with  his  other  hand,  he  repeated  the  action  before  knocking  on  the  door.  silence.  he  was  about  to  turn  around  and  head  home  when  the  door  opened,  catching  him  a  bit  off  guard.  but  that's  milo,  he  managed  to  keep  his  composure.  " i–-  wanted  to  give  you  this! "

walking  in  to  shelter  himself  from  the  chill  air  in  the  hallway,  milo  went to sit  on  the  couch.  he  was  feeling  so  awkward.  that  was  so  not  like  him.  " ah  ...  you're  welcome. "  with  the  small  talk  that  she  seemed  to  have  picked,  he  nodded  slightly  to  her  question  then  glanced  at  her  for  a  brief  moment.  " i  had  a  tiring  day  and  i  think  that's  why  i  couldn't  fall  asleep. "  losing  a  game  always  took  a  toll  on  the  team  and  it  was  natural  to  feel  down.  nobody  likes  to  lose  anyway.  her  following  statement  however  caught  him  off  guard.  a  chortle  flew  past  his  lips,  his  face  displaying  a  mixture  of  embarrassment  and  amusement.  " ayy...  who  do  you  think  i  am,  huh?  i  can  be  very  romantic  actually! " / @faeriemists

[banana-vatore]

(x) I’d love to hear your thoughts on Lawrence, because I have so much to say about him too. (Even tho he’s not canon in the slightest … rip him ig)

Mostly his age, actually, because I’ve wondered for so long if he’s depicted as an old man because he’s been at the dispatch for so long (meaning reapers age, gradualness aside) or that he died at the age he now is physically (meaning that they don’t).

The former raises questions about Othello and Undertaker, whereas the latter would be even more of a mindfuck than what reaper ages are now! Like, hypothetically, let’s say he’s physically 60, and he’s been at the dispatch for like a 100 years, compared to Othello who could be (hypothetically) the physical age of 20 but having been at the dispatch for 500!

(Like the old guy in a circumstance like this could be like “respect your elders!” and then the ‘younger’ guy could be like “lol okay son, I’m a millennium old”)

Honestly tho I wouldn’t be surprised if Yana went with the latter, just to be confusing.

Every day I wake up in tears remembering Lawrence technically isn’t canon, smh, I think he’s a really good concept.

Anyways, reaper ages!

I actually had this idea written down for a couple of weeks now

(yes I have a note in my phone dedicated to ideas for tumblr posts, i’m a nerd, sue me)

In my opinion they stay the age they physically died at (aka they don’t age).

Heads up i’m not a manga reader (yet! working on it) so I might be incorrect but i’m pretty certain Othello has been a reaper for a longer time than Grelle, and he still seems to be physically younger than her, from what I can tell. Also Othello and Undertaker have known each other for a long time (I can’t remember, we’re they classmates?/however you’d call reapers of the same “graduating class”), and Othello mentioned him having white hair back then too, meaning it didn’t change with the time he was a reaper, he had it originally as well.

In my note I mentioned Lawrence aging and that’s because in the flashback in The Story of Will The Reaper he seemed to look younger than he does in present time in the same episode, but i’m blaming the anime inconsistency on that. (Undertaker not aging as well- I was referring to the flash of him in the end of season 1 where William was describing him to Grelle and he was shown to be looking pretty much the same age physically as he is now).

A different question that arises is why do most of the reapers we’ve seen look to be pretty young but I know thinking about that for too long would just make me sad so I’ll avoid that :’)

TLDR In my opinion they don’t age as reapers. Am I actually able to give any concrete evidence as to why? not really but I sorta tried to.

[pinkspiraling]

i feel so sad i don’t want to be here

[90oznihilists]

If i see that stupid fucking cunty rococo doll discourse on twitter again