#i just had to write the infamous fight scene at a friend's random party and the make up that comes after

[danganphobia]

i think because laios and shuro’s clashes in personalities it’s unavoidable that they will fight during their relationship. who do you think would be the first one to reach out first after a fight? (this is just an attempt to make you write angsty hurt + comfort laishuro)

DRABBLE INCOMING!

Toshiro wasn't sure how many beers he had tonight. He sat next to other patrons, the number of guests dwindling as the hours passed. He just wanted to get so drunk he wouldn't have to experience a sober thought until the next morning.

This bar was quiet, two blocks away from their university campus - compared to the ones on the flashier side of town where most students went on Friday and Saturday nights to party hard and forget about responsibilities for the weekend.

For Toshiro, beers sounded more tempting than any club to wash away the stress of exams and back-to-back assignments.

When he asked for another refill, his vision started to blur. Next thing he knew, he heard another voice within earshot.

"He's been here for the past three hours."

"Don't worry, I'll pay for it."

"Uh, that's kind of you, but he's already paid for the whole night."

"Then I'll tip you extra."

Toshiro groaned, facepalming. He didn't have to look to know who it was that just showed up. Laios leaned his body against the counter, trying to peek at his face.

"Kabru said you'd be here."

Saying nothing, Toshiro finished his last beer.

Laios' carried him back to campus on piggyback. It's silent, save for the occasional cars driving through.

"Why did you come?" Toshiro asked stubbornly, the alcohol he drank made him lightheaded. If it weren't for Laios, he'd be unable to walk - but the idiot didn't need to know that. Just two weeks ago, Toshiro remembered storming out of that party Namari and Kabru invited him to, with Laios following after him, asking what his problem was, and everyone outside looking on in curiosity.

"My problem?" Toshiro had asked, sneering. "Don't you see it? This - we - doesn't work! I'm sick of it! All I ever get are stares when I tell them-"

"You're with me," Laios finished with a bitter nod, stopping Toshiro in his tracks. "If you're that embarrassed to be with me, why didn't you say so?"

That was the killer. When Toshiro noticed the eyes on them, Laios staring right at him with disappointment and hurt, Toshiro decided to admit defeat. He had only given a sour apology, leaving the party without another word.

They hadn't talked to each other since then. Toshiro stopped coming to club meetings because he didn't want to risk running into Laios, and unfortunately, Laios was always present. It was fine, their campaign could go on without Toshiro considering where they'd left off anyway.

"Why did I come?" Laios repeated the question, exhaling as he contemplated his answer. "I don't know, actually."

This was why Toshiro couldn't stand him sometimes. He was a very logical person. This was how he was raised, otherwise he'd never be fit to be heir of his father's company. Laios Touden didn't need a reason to do the things he did.

"I don't get it," Toshiro mumbled. This should make him a walking red flag, after all. This was the guy who was known for smoking pigs at clubs, did kegstands at frat parties, and could squirt milk out his eyelids for the hell of it. He was the kind of guy that would make a pristine rich kid's parents like Toshiro's have a heart attack if Laios told them what he'd been up to. They were polar opposites; someone Toshiro would've avoided if it weren't for their mutual friends. "After everything I said to you, you still came to see me."

"Yeah." Laios said, like there was nothing odd about it. It only pissed Toshiro off even more.

"Why?"

"I can't just leave you there. What if you passed out in the middle of the street?"

Toshiro snorted, scoffing. "You are aware that I practice martial arts?"

Laios laughed. "I don't doubt you can probably kick my ass while drunk. Then again, you didn't." Instead, Toshiro was clinging to his back, Laios' cyprus scent calmed him, as it was so welcoming. He hated that. It should make him nauseous if anything. "I can't say for any other stranger that would see you this vulnerable."

"I can take care of myself," Toshiro huffed. "You shouldn't have come."

"I don't care if you're mad at me, because I've already forgiven our fight."

"That's - that's preposterous -" Toshiro sputtered in defense, "Why continue to torment yourself by being seen with me?"

Laios chuckled. "Who said being with you was tormenting?"

Toshiro stayed quiet.

"You might think so, so I'll just have to prove myself to you. Lucky for me, I don't really care what people think," Laios explained, pausing at a stop light. Toshiro's eyes widened when Laios turned his head slightly with a gentle smile. "And you shouldn't either."

Toshiro's heart pounded in his chest. The traffic sign flashed - as Laios was permitted to cross the street.

"Yeah, you were an asshole at that party. But at the end of the day, it doesn't change my feelings for you. I think," Laios sighed, "if you like someone, if you really really like someone, you should let them know as much as you can."

Toshiro reached for Laios' ear and tugged on it.

"Ack!" The noise Laios' made in pain just made Toshiro pull on it tighter until he let go. "What was that for?!" He asked, pouting.

"It's easy for you to say," Toshiro said bitterly. "I've spent my whole life trying to live up to the expectations of others. I don't just do impulsive, stupid things out of my own free will. Which is why - I don't even understand why I have feelings for you, either..."

"Toshiro..."

"I am not worth this trouble. You misguide yourself."

"That's not true," Laios countered in earnest. "Tell yourself that all you want, but to me, you're worth it."

Silent and brooding, Toshiro buried his neck deep into the crook of Laios' shoulder to hide the scarlet in his cheeks.

Laios was like a leech that wouldn't pull himself off Toshiro even if Toshiro tried.

And he'd never admit how nice it felt, to be around someone who didn't expect much from him; just his presence, so they could exist together in a world so unpredictable. The air felt easier to breathe the longer they remained, just being.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

I’m probably parrotting to the wrong choir here, but at least part of the truth about liking villains vs. condemning villains is...I don’t consume villain content in order to find healthy coping strategies and genuine life advice. I don’t look for healthy coping strategies in sci-fi films and fantasy books or on ao3 in the first place, because 99% of all that input is not produced by people that a) intent or b) are qualified to give meaningful life advice.

 Sometimes things we read or watch can be detrimental to our mental health or can make us happier or mean a lot to us. And that is also why it is important to tag, warn, and summarise content: So that people can avoid things that are bad for them and find things that comfort them. But what popular fiction never is, is a clear, intentional, professional, and universal guide.

 We already talked about how even the most horrible people will read novels where they resemble the bad guys and identify with the good guys instead rather than reflecting their own behaviour. That is, because narratives need stakes. The hero needs to be David, not Goliath. And we too see ourselves as Goliath, in our lives. Because there are always things that are bigger than us. And because we know that David will win.

 But sometimes...sometimes it is quite nice to feel like the giant. Especially when we’re used to feeling small.

 Sure “I like this villain because villains get to do things we want to but can’t” might seem like a tiny brained answer, but if you expand a little, there is truth to it: Sometimes I want to see someone go bloody ape-shit in response to trauma, injustice, being underestimated or forgotten. Sometimes I want to see someone just care about themselves and burn the whole place down and look fabulous doing it, because I know, that in real-life, very often it is sympathy and empathy holding me back for even insisting on minor and very rational things, simply because I don’t want to be a burden on others and because I prioritise other people very highly. There is catharsis in that; in seeing someone getting it out of their system in the most violent way possible just like there is catharsis in going for a run or punching the hell out of a punching bag when you’re frustrated even though you would never chase down and beat up a person.

Because even when see characters standing up for themselves - think of the infamous internet rage over Captain Marvel stealing that bike from the dude that harassed her – their actions are usually centred around punishing the culprit, not the emotions of the party that was wronged. But people got angry. Not because she stole a car, or because she stole it from a men even – but because her acting in response to sexual harassment connected the scene with deep roots of social context and political opinions and expectations.

And, despite hundreds, maybe thousands of films in existence where a white male protagonist steals a car or bike or anything else to save the day, she is read as a villain here simply for doing the rational thing. Much less could she have killed him and burnt down his house, because she is a hero and it doesn’t serve the plot and that would not be the thing a hero does.

A villain burning the whole joint down because someone looked at them funny is acting selfishly, self-centred. But what are you going to do, call them a villain? Duh. Complain about how what they’re doing is wrong? Well, yes.

 The lane of their actions is not narrowed by the actions of the culprit on the one side (heroes have to react appropriately and proportionally) and the expectations of the good-guy on the other (they have to act in accordance with forwarding the plot). Which means putting up with an asshole sidekick or apologising if they undergo character development that makes them a ‘better’ person and requires them to forgive someone). You might have your odd Logan who will throw a punch when he’s pissed – but here we already venture into the territory of an anti-hero.

And personally, our anger, our disappointment, all that will always be much more contained than any fictional space - by our financial situation, the people we depend on, our job, our studies, or family, our social circle. We live in a web of social expectations that we depend on every moment of our life.

Fiction itself also exists in a web of social context: What influence does it have on the audience? Will it sell? What implications does it have? How does it present its characters? Who is the author and what do they stand for? - but the fictional space, aka the world constructed in a novel, is wholly separate:

If I write a novel where I state that every Canadian person likes the colour blue and wears funny hats, then this is true in the universe of that novel, no matter what any Canadian reader might feel about it. This means two things:

1.       As writers, producers, and even as producers of fan-content, we have to be critical about what we put into the world, because by creating a fictional space, we create characters who cannot stand up against the things we say about them or make them do. Just like the superheroine in the skimpy outfit who gets her powers through the sun shining down on her nipples cannot have an authentic discussion about her body. And when young girls read our comic and see that all the male heroes are clothed and the heroine isn’t, then we are the one that came up with the sunshine-nipples.

2.       Our very own, personal interpretation of the novel – even our own - and the way we relate to it is our own. The feelings we project on the characters are individual, personal, and shaped by us.

And yes, villains usually see their comeuppance. And the thing is, many people argue here: “Well, it’s okay if the villain does x, as long as they’re punished for it.” But...that’s a difficult subject. A piece of fiction can condemn the actions of the villain without seeing them lose – the challenge to the writer is to still form a satisfying narrative, because the villain winning is the ‘likely’-seeming thing that every narrative subverts when the hero levels up and returns with her new friends to kick the villain’s ass. But even if you sympathise with the villain, seeing them win would still be an unsatisfying narrative, most of the time.

Because the whole point of an actual evil villain - and sympathising with an actual villain - is that what they’re doing is unjust. Malicious. Selfish. And projecting your desire to strike back or stand up on a villain and seeking catharsis through seeing them go wild and tear down the city needs the pushback. For them burning down the house to be satisfying, you need to see the house burn. For them to blow up the house of parliament to be satisfying – you must see the explosion.

And watching them lose provides the ultimate, necessary gravitas. Watching Team Rocket fly off with Pikachu and live happily ever after on Team Rocket money would not be satisfying. Watching our super-villain burn the world to a crisp with their death-laser would not be satisfying if they just end up getting their rocket and flying off while drinking space-mojitos.

Whether they end up being redeemed or not: The initial moment that someone fights back and defeats them at the height of their immorality and prevents the suffering of innocents is the moment that their willingness and readiness to commit violence is put to the test.

 We know the hero goes through a journey of their own - one that requires sacrifice and steels their commitment until they are ready to take on the villain. And knowing that someone is willing to make sacrifices to be able to take the villain down is the ultimate acknowledgement of the transgressive act the villain committed. Without it, it would be empty. Like watching someone punch the air.

But the truth is also that when you recreate the fictional space in another, secondary space – fanfiction, fan content, fanart – you decide what to focus on. Like, we all enjoy hurt/comfort stories, but they have a different intention than something focussed on action or the growth of the hero – because that requires for us to see the villain go down. The focus is no longer the transgressive acts of the villain – but to lay bare the pain that caused them. It is no longer about beating them down for the sake of justice.

Like, when I make a post about Frankenstein’s monster living happily ever after and people tell me that hey, the monster killed a lot of people - then we have a different premise. Because me not adding a line about the evil things the monster did to my post was based on the premise that you knew that random tumblr user langernameohnebedeutung does not condone the crime of murder because she posts about a 200-year-old book. And the #fact that my point doesn’t construct an ending where the monster stands in front of a judge and is sentenced to a certain time in jail or punished by a more heroic person is because I have daddy issues and seeing a giant creature go on a rampage through Europe to get back at its asshole Dad in a way I never could makes me quite happy the novel focussing on its acts of violence already did this and my post clearly had a different intention.

[jalapeno-princess]

Thought I Knew You

Mark Tuan x Reader x Park Jinyoung

Genre: Angst, some fluff and SMUT (very bad smut lol) (By the way, this is not a love triangle, sorry)

Word Count: 12k (aw shit I didn’t even realize how long this was hahaha)

Summary: You made the mistake of thinking you could be the one who changed Mark’s fuck boy ways and you end up falling in love with him. However, no matter how much Mark claimed to have loved you, nothing would be as important to him as his reputation.

A/n: This is based on the song “Cake” by Melanie Martinez. Y’all I am dying here in this quarantine it’s only day eight and I’m planning on shaving my sister bald. Please enjoy.

I'm not a piece of cake for you to just discard While you walk away with the frosting of my heart So I'm taking back what's mine, you'll miss The slice of heaven that I gave to you last night

Ever since you were a little girl, your parents would constantly warn you about the dangers of drugs. They wouldn’t fail to try and scare you with the kind of effects that it had on people and how drugs could ruin a person’s life once they were to get addicted. However, they failed to explain to you that drugs also came in human form.

Your parents never brought up the fact that drugs could have soft brown eyes, pink heart shaped lips, rosy cheeks, sharp nose and a well defined jaw.

Drugs could have a smile, that could make your heart rate increase as much as it could decrease without seeing it. Drugs could have a laugh that you were sure could cure cancer. Mark Tuan was a drug, your favorite drug and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t addicted.

“Y/n, oh God, please tell me it isn’t true.” You looked at your friend in confusion and tried to help her catch her breath in order for her to go in to depth about what she was referring to. She looked as if she ran a mile in order to come and find you. Your mind couldn’t process why she was so adamant on looking for you as if something was wrong.

“What are you talking about? What’s not true?” She gave you a knowing look and took one more breath before releasing a frustrated sigh.

“You slept with Mark Tuan?” As soon as she said those words, your heart sank and you were sure all color was drained from your face. How did she know? It was a secret meant to be kept between the two of you. Was he spreading the news all around school when he promised not to? What did he think he would get from that? You wanted to throw up. This is what you were afraid of when you first got involved with the older boy.

You knew Mark was bad news. He was known to be the biggest fuck boy in school. Mark had a reputation for sleeping around and he never hooked up with the same girl twice. That is why you made a promise to yourself to never get involved with him, no matter how extremely charming and devastatingly handsome he was. You refused to let your heart get broken by someone who obviously didn’t care about anyone but himself.

However, you don’t regret falling for the charming boy. Sure, he lured you in with his sweet words, countless love confessions, soft kisses, gentle touches and promises to change his ways in order to be a better person for you. But it was your fault for believing in his lies. For putting your trust in someone like him, someone infamous for getting everything he wanted. He made you feel important in the six months the two of you spent together, but now that he got what he wanted, you knew it was over for the both of you.

It was the beginning of your junior year in college, and you were doing just fine. School was always your main focus and you tried your best in everything you did. From the time you won the science fair in 3rd grade, to becoming the president of the national honor society and being nominated as your high school valedictorian, you were known to be one of the smartest people in school. Which is why your English professor pulled you to the side and gave you a really good offer you knew you couldn’t refuse. Until you heard what he was having you do.

When the name Mark Tuan fell from his lips, you didn’t hear anything after that. All the words that your professor said went through one ear and out the other. You were quick to apologize and declined his promises of writing you multiple letters of recommendation and the immediate A+ he would give you for doing him such a huge favor. Although he was upset, he couldn’t blame you for not wanting to tutor the infamous bad boy.

Hearing your professor practically beg you for your help upset you; Mark was a grown man. Even though he obviously didn’t give a shit about his education, he should take responsibility and do whatever he could to maintain his grades. But he was too busy partying, getting high and fucking anything that had legs.

Mark was completely aware that your professor had reached out to you and asked you to help him out with his school work. He wasn’t going to lie, he found you extremely attractive and he admired how dedicated you were to your education. By the way you barely paid any attention to guys other than your best friend Jinyoung, he was sure you were still a virgin and Mark made it his goal to be the one to take away your innocence.

He knew it was selfish of him to want to do such a thing, but he was well aware of how much of a goody two shoes you were and how you thought you were better than everyone else. Mark wanted to be the one to fuck that mentality out of you. That’s how he came up with the plan to break down your walls and get you to fall for him.

The day after your professor talked to you, it didn’t take too long for the boy in question to come up to you and ask you for help himself. You and Jinyoung were studying in the library when you felt a presence join the two of you. Once you looked up to see who it was, you had to do a double take when he took a seat across of you and a frown immediately rose upon your face.

“What are you doing here Tuan?” Mark ignored the disgusted groan that came from your best friend and gave you his direct attention.

“I know professor Kim talked to you about possibly tutoring me in English and I’m pretty sure you declined. So I’m here, asking you myself to prove to you that I’m serious about wanting to raise my grade. I can’t afford to fail y/n and I know you’re my only hope. I’ll do anything. Please.” You let out a scoff and you couldn’t help but stifle back a laugh at the look of anger on Jinyoung’s face.

Jinyoung may not look like someone who could fight, but when it came to you; he would do anything. Which is why you were sure he was very close to jumping across the table and smacking the arrogant smirk off of Mark’s face. As you were about to open your mouth to respond, Jinyoung beat you to it.

“Absolutely not. There’s no way in hell she’ll do that for you. She has a lot more to worry about than your failing grades. You should’ve thought about your education before putting your head between the legs of random girls.” Your eyes widened in shock at Jinyoung’s sudden outburst but Mark was quick to retaliate.

“Scared your little girlfriend is the next person who’s thighs I’ll be in between next? Don’t bother. You’re cute and all y/n, but don’t think so highly of yourself because of what a great student you are. And I wasn’t asking you Park Jinyoung. I was asking our pretty little princess here. Although y/n, if it’s sex that you want in order to get you to tutor me, I wouldn’t mind blowing your back out—“ Everything happened so fast that it took you a while to process the scene going on in front of you. As soon as Mark mentioned hooking up with you, Jinyoung was on his feet and immediately lunged at the older boy. He gripped at his collar and pulled Mark up so that he was standing face to face with him.

“You lay a finger on her, and I’ll make sure you’ll be crossing the graduation stage in a wheel chair. That’s if you graduate punk ass. Now leave.” Mark yanked Jinyoung’s hands off of him before scoffing.

“I’m not afraid of someone like you.” He turned to you and gave you a knowing glance. “Please think about it y/n. And don’t let lover boy here make the decision for you.” Once Mark was gone, you walked over to Jinyoung and took a look at him to make sure he was okay. He pulled you in to his chest and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Please promise me you won’t waste your time on someone like him. He doesn’t deserve your help. He’ll only use you y/n and you’re worth so much more than that. I don’t care how much extra credit professor Kim is offering you, it isn’t worth it and neither is he.” You ran your fingers gently through Jinyoung’s hair and sighed. Your cheeks warmed up at the thought of how protective Jinyoung was over you. It was sweet and sometimes you wondered why the two of you weren’t more than just friends. It was obvious that Jinyoung cared about you and you made it known that you felt the same. But you never had romantic feelings towards him, as much as you wanted to.

You knew Jinyoung would take good care of you, and you did get jealous whenever you saw how close some girls would get to him. Although, you couldn’t blame them for fawning over him. Jinyoung, in lack of better words was gorgeous. He was definitely a sight for sore eyes and you were sure he could be a model or even an actor if he really wanted to. But you just didn’t see him as anything more than just a friend and a part of you felt that it was because you were afraid to lose him if things didn’t work out between the two of you.

You sighed against his neck before nodding in agreement, however; deep down you knew you were going to go along with tutoring Mark. If he was willing to go through the lengths of asking you for your help personally, you knew he was serious about doing better in school.

A few days after the incident in the library, you built up the courage to go up to Mark and tell him that you’d go along with tutoring him. To say he was shocked was an understatement. After getting in to an argument with Jinyoung and saying some mean things about you just a few days prior, he didn’t think you’d give in. In fact, after saying such degrading things about you, he’d thought you’d be disgusted and want nothing to do with him. Which is why he was confused to hear that you were willing to help him bump up his grade. He wasn’t too sure what got you to agree, but he wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass him by.

“So I’m taking it that your boy toy has no clue that you’re here right now and that you’re agreeing to tutor me.” You stared at the ground and shook your head in disagreement. Mark brought his fingers down to your chin and lifted it so that you were making eye contact with him. You weren’t going to lie, as much as you wanted to hate the arrogant and narcissistic boy standing in front of you, his touch did send shivers down your spine. But you were quick to shove his hand away before raising your finger up at him in disgust.

“I’m going to set some ground rules Tuan-“ he gave you a smirk.

“Ooh, my last name. I’m so scared.” The glare you sent him got him to shut up and you released an exasperated sigh.

“This stays between you and I. Got it? Nobody is to know that I’m tutoring you and if I find out from anyone else that I’ve been helping you, this whole thing is over. Don’t you dare try to take advantage of me. Oh, and don’t touch me. We will meet under my schedule, I’m the one helping you after all and don’t do anything you know is going to piss me off. I’m a nice person, but I don’t liked to be fucked with.” He sniggered.

“Maybe that’s why you’re so uptight. Jinyoung isn’t giving you what you want huh? I’m sure I could fix your attitude if you just let me-“ You threw your hands up in defeat and began to walk away, but Mark’s reflexes were faster. He gripped your wrist and pulled you in to him, earning himself a groan.

“Is that all you think about? Sex? No wonder why you’re failing. I’m honestly beginning to regret this.” Mark gave you an expressionless look. He had a hard time understanding why you were actually wanting to help him. It was clear that you hated his guts and wanted nothing to do with him. And although your professor probably offered you extra credit, he was sure it wasn’t enough to get you to give up your pride and help him out. So what was it?

“Y/n. Why are you wanting to help me? I’m an asshole and I’m obviously not deserving. Did professor Kim pay you? Did my parents set you up to this? What is it?” You shrugged. One thing you hated about yourself was how nice you could be sometimes.

As much as you wanted Mark to solve this problem on his own, you wouldn’t be able to live normally without the guilt eating away at you. Like your professor said, you were his only hope. You didn’t care about the offers you were given; you were a straight a student with a 4.3 g.p.a. What more could you really need?

“I like helping others I guess. But don’t take advantage of it. I’m already busy as it is. If I feel as if you’re not putting your all in to our study sessions, I’ll stop them altogether.”

He lifted up his pinky and reached for yours, twisting them together. “I promise. Thank you for this, I promise you won’t regret it. Well, see you tomorrow then y/n.”

In the first few days of tutoring him, you found yourself getting frustrated with Mark. Although you made it completely clear in the beginning that the two of you would meet on your time, he was always running late. One time, you waited almost an hour in the coffee shop and right before you picked up your things and left, he came storming in; murmuring countless apologies and telling you how it wouldn’t happen again.

Most of the time the both of you spent together was solely focused on helping him with his English homework. But then the brought up that he wasn’t doing too well in math and science also. He would try to have small talk here and there, but you weren’t having any of it. You told him countless times that you weren’t there for anything more than to tutor him and after a while, he accepted it.

To your delight, Mark was a good listener and fast learner. You couldn’t help but notice the many glances he would steal and how you could feel his eyes on you from time to time. It would always send warmth to your cheeks, but you couldn’t allow yourself to fall for things like that. After a month of your help, his grades began to rise but he still needed your help. He became more of a gentleman the longer he spent time with you. Since you were helping him, he would pay for your coffee and sometimes bring you a snack to all of your sessions.

Unfortunately, the two of you ended up having to exchange phone numbers in order to plan out your tutoring sessions, but after a while you actually liked texting him. At first, he would only text you when he had a question on some homework, but then it turned in to memes that he found funny, videos that he thought you’d like and sometimes he would ask you how you were doing. You tried so hard not to fall for his charm, but it was hard because he was always so sweet to you.

Two months in to your lessons, you took note that he would always compliment you on every little thing. Whether it be your clothes, the way you did your makeup or the way you styled your hair, he never failed to tell you how pretty you were or how cute you looked. And he always made sure to tell you how smart he thought you were and how he could only wish to be even half of an amazing student as you were.

Mark wasn’t aware of how you’d get home whenever the two of you would finish your sessions together; you’d always tell him to go first so you could finish your homework before heading back to your apartment. So when he saw you walking back to your place one night after the two of you finished around 10:00 p.m. he felt worried and he hated himself for not offering you a ride home.

He turned his car around and sped towards you. In the beginning, this was just a game to him. He would get free lessons from you and get to have his way with you if things ended the way he wanted them to. However, three months after getting to know you, he realized that he no longer wanted to use you, nor did he want to take advantage of your kindness and generosity. He was falling for you and he had no intentions of stopping.

Mark liked every little thing about you. People say nobody’s perfect, but he was sure you came pretty close. You were beautiful, there was no doubt about it. The way you smiled with your eyes, laughed at his jokes like he was the funniest person on earth and blushed at his compliments captivated Mark in ways no one ever has before. He found himself wanting to be the reason behind your contagious smile, he wanted to be the one you ran to when times got hard and to be the one you confide in when you feel as if the whole world was against you. He wanted to be the one who got to love you.

He was scared, he’s never felt this way about anyone before. Mark wanted to protect you from everything evil. However, he failed to realize he would be the one he’d have to protect you from.

The honking from behind you startled you to say the least, and you knew you had nothing to protect yourself with if someone were to try and kidnap you. But once he got out of the car and made his way toward you, taking your things and walking back to his car, you released a sigh of relief.

“Yn, get in.” You were hesitant, but you found yourself climbing in the passenger seat anyway. You quietly thanked him while looking out your window to prevent him from seeing the small grin you were now wearing.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been walking home this entire time? I could’ve been dropping you off. It’s dangerous out there you know.”

It’s more dangerous in here, alone with you. Unfortunately, you broke the promise you made to yourself. You had developed feelings for Mark, but it was inevitable for you to do so. You were around him almost every day. His optimism and the fact that he was actually trying when it came to his work and his grades made your tummy warm. It was as if he wanted to prove to you that your lessons were worth it and that he wanted to make you proud.

Then came the phone calls in the wee hours of the morning. Mark found a confidant in you; he would tell you things you were sure he wouldn’t dare telling anyone else. You were well aware of who his friends were and how they could be. If they heard how he was afraid of not getting in to the engineering program at UCLA, they would’ve laughed in his face. But he felt safe with you, he knew you wouldn’t judge him and he knew you would encourage him to pursue his dreams. He trusted you and he’s never trusted anyone before.

The ride back to your apartment was quiet, but it was a peaceful silence. You found yourself sneaking glances at him, basking in his attractiveness and how concentrated he looked when driving. As much as you wanted to stop yourself from liking him, it was too late. You were in too deep. All too quickly, he pulled up to your complex and parked his car. Before you could thank him and say your goodbyes, he was walking to open your door and grabbed your things.

“Here, I’ll walk you up. I want to make sure you get up safely.” It’s as if he knew you were about to decline; he began walking towards your lobby and waited for you to lead the way.

“It’s okay Mark. I’m a big girl, I can walk by myself—“ he placed his finger on your lips in order to get you keep quiet, but it only made things harder for you. Once the two of you made it up to your door, you thanked him one more time and grabbed your things. He had a blank expression on his face and you couldn’t quite tell what he was thinking. As you were about to speak up, his lips were on yours.

His lips tasted like hot chocolate and potato chips; an odd combination that you were now very fond of because it reminded you of him. You would find yourself staring at his lips every so often, wondering what it would be like to kiss him. But you would push the thought away to the back of your mind every time you thought about being intimate with him.

Red flags were going off in your head, but you ignored them. One of his hands made their way down to your waist as the other one roughly cupped your cheek. Your hands wrapped around his neck and you found yourself deepening the kiss. You couldn’t explain how amazing kissing Mark felt. It was as if your entire body was on fire and he was the only thing to put the flame out.

Feeling him moan in to your mouth as you bit down on to his bottom lip sent a tingling sensation to your core and that’s when you decided to pull away. You didn’t care how badly you wanted him in that moment, you weren’t going to completely give yourself to Mark anytime soon and you were going to make it known to him that you weren’t just a toy he could play with and discard when he was done with you.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. But fuck, that was amazing—“ you gave him a soft smile before running your fingers through his hair.

“Don’t apologize, I wanted that as much as you probably did. I um..I should get going. Thank you again for tonight, see you tomorrow?” He beamed up at you and you could feel your stomach swarm with butterflies. He placed one more kiss on the corner of your lips before waving goodbye to you. It all felt so surreal. If someone were to tell you months ago that you’d be making out with Mark Tuan of all people, you’d laugh in their face. But it happened, and you couldn’t be more excited to see how things were going to go for the both of you.

Once you walked in to your apartment, the huge grin you were wearing soon fell when you saw Jinyoung with his arms crossed and his brows furrowed. Being both your roommate and your best friend, you would always let Jinyoung know of your whereabouts and if you were coming home late. However, when he didn’t hear from you and you didn’t respond to his text or phone calls, he got worried. You’ve been acting pretty secretive lately and although he didn’t think he had the right to get involved in your business, he couldn’t help but feel as if you were hiding something from him.

Jinyoung was like an open book, he told you everything and anything about himself. He was very vocal to you about his dreams and goals to his self doubts and insecurities. He told you all about the girls he had crushes on and cried in to your shoulder whenever he got his heart broken. So when he was about to go on a manhunt for you and walked outside only to see you kissing Mark, he was furious. Did he not warn you all those months ago about how Mark was bad news and not to waste your time with him? How long have you been seeing him for? Jinyoung couldn’t help but feel angry, but that’s because he cared about you. Sometimes, a little too much.

“Y/n, what the fuck is going on?” You looked at him in curiosity and shrugged. You were sure he saw what just happened, so there was no use in lying to him. However, you’ve never seen Jinyoung so upset over something before. One time, his friend Yugyeom asked to borrow his car and even if Jinyoung declined many times, he found himself giving in to the younger boy. Just a few hours later, he got a call from a towing company, saying that his car has been towed because it was parked in a no parking zone. Jinyoung was furious and didn’t speak to Yugyeom for weeks. You were sure tonight was going to end just as badly as that night did.

“I’ve been tutoring him.” Jinyoung looked at you as if you grew another head.

“After I told you not to? After I warned you about him? Y/n, I’m sure you know all about him. He’s going to break your heart right after he gets what he wants. He doesn’t like you, he likes your body and the fact that you’ve been tutoring him for free is just a bonus. This was his plan after all. He’s going to fuck you and dump you like he does every girl in the fucking school. I can’t believe this.”

Hearing him say such mean things about you broke your heart. Jinyoung never bad mouthed you and fought anybody who did. Jackson Wang found himself with a black eye after Jinyoung heard him call you such degrading names when you bumped in to him at a club once. It was times like this where you felt as if Jinyoung had feelings for you, but you were too afraid to bring it up. You continued to let him say what he wanted to; you were too hurt to say anything back. But what was there to say? As much as you wanted to believe Mark liked you and would take care of you, Jinyoung had a point.

When he saw you tearing up, he wanted nothing more than to pull you in to his embrace and whisper sweet nothings in your ear while apologizing for hurting your feelings; but he was too frustrated with the situation and he was afraid he was going to say something that would end your friendship completely.

Once he was done with his rant, he stormed in to his room and slammed the door, leaving you on the living room floor crying hysterically. The last thing you wanted to do was upset your best friend, but you were afraid that this was going to happen. That’s why you kept Mark a secret the entire time. The next morning, you got a text from Mark asking if you wanted to go out for breakfast to which you were quick to agree to.

After hearing Jinyoung mention that Mark was only using you, you became hesitant of spending time with him. You were afraid that Jinyoung’s words were the truth and that Mark would hurt you in the end. But your stupid heart craved him. Therefore, you found yourself getting ready to go see him. You put on a cute little sundress and applied a light amount of makeup. When you saw the dried tears from last night, your heart began to hurt at the thought of Jinyoung’s disappointed face; but you couldn’t let him get to you.

You were old enough to make your own decisions and if it came back later to bite you in the ass, then so be it. Mark let you know that he was there, so you grabbed your bag and made your way to the living room. When you saw that Jinyoung’s door was shut, you wanted to go and apologize but you didn’t want to make him even more upset. You made your way downstairs and a smile rose upon your face when Mark came in to view. His expression quickly mirrored yours when you came in to view and he immediately pulled you in to his embrace before placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Hey baby. You look beautiful as always. Shall we?” You nodded in agreement. For the next month, you fell in love with him. He explained his feelings for you on the second date and every single detail made your head spin. The way he described you with so much beauty and grace made your heart combust and you’ve caught him looking at you as if you were the one who set the stars in the sky on multiple occasions.

Unfortunately, you and Jinyoung haven’t talked since the night he found out about you and Mark, but you were so occupied with Mark that you didn’t really notice his absence. However, you did find yourself missing him and Mark took notice at how you were never completely happy no matter how much you tried to play yourself out to be. Your smile no longer reached your eyes and as much as he hated to admit it, he knew it was because of Jinyoung.

“Babe.” The two of you were over at his place watching a movie when you felt him tug on your shirt. “Let’s go.” You looked at him in confusion.

“Go where?” He gave you a sad smile before getting up, carefully pulling you up with him.

“We’re gonna go to your place and you’re going to make things right with Jinyoung. I hate seeing you so distressed. You’re not yourself these days. I miss hearing that beautiful laugh of yours that I love so much. And don’t try to deny it. You’re not happy baby and I want to make things right, no matter how much I hate Park Jinyoung.”

It wasn’t that Mark hated Jinyoung. In fact, he was extremely jealous of the younger boy; though he would never voice his worries to you. You and Jinyoung had a very close bond. The two of you were attached to the hip and although you and Mark had something as of right now, he was sure that if you had to choose between the two, you’d go with Jinyoung. From an outsiders point of view, the two of you were sure to be a couple. That’s why it came as a shock to Mark when you told him there was nothing going on between you and Jinyoung.

However, he couldn’t help but feel as if the reason why Jinyoung was so protective over you was because he had feelings for you and he couldn’t blame him. The thought worried Mark, he hated thinking that there was a reason he would lose you. Things were going so well between the two of you and he finally came to terms with the fact that he was in love with you.

The drive back to your place was nerve wrecking. You weren’t even sure if Jinyoung was home. He hasn’t been home during the times you were and you knew he made it that way. Mark’s free hand found yours and he gently grazed your wrist with his thumb. “It’ll be okay baby. He’ll come around.”

Your heart felt so warm knowing that Mark wanted you to reconcile with Jinyoung even if you were completely aware that the two boys weren’t fond of each other. He was willing to do whatever he could in order to make you happy again and it only made your feelings for him grow stronger. When you and Mark pulled up to your building, he told you he’d stay in the car while waiting for you and to let him know if you needed him to come upstairs.

Once you got in to your apartment, it didn’t take you long to find him. Jinyoung was standing at the kitchen counter with a beer in his hands. When his eyes landed on you, he looked as if he wanted to walk towards you but stopped himself from doing so. You felt as if your heartstrings were getting pulled at and you were sure if things didn’t end the way you had planned them to tonight, Park Jinyoung would be the one to rip your heart out completely.

“Hey.” He nodded in your direction before taking a chug of his beer. Jinyoung wasn’t a drinker. The only time he ever drank was when he was nervous or pissed off and you knew it was the latter. You made your way towards him and stole the beer out of his hands before taking a sip of it yourself.

“Can we talk. Please?” He released a long sigh before nodding and making his way towards the couch. The two of you sat in silence for a couple of minutes, neither of you knowing what to say. You opened your mouth to speak up, but he beat you to it.

“Where’s lover boy?” You nervously bit your lip and shrugged.

“He’s waiting downstairs.” Jinyoung took another swig at his beer and took a quick look at you. He knew the distance between you both was having a toll on you. You lost a few pounds, the eye bags under your eyes were dominant and your eyes no longer held the beautiful glow in them that he adored so much. Was this because the two of you weren’t talking? He must’ve looked just as bad as you did if not worse.

When you felt him graze your arm, you knew things were okay. Jinyoung could never stay mad at you, he had the biggest soft spot for you and you were one of the only people he needed in his life.

“I’m sorry.” You looked at him in confusion. Why was he sorry? “I overreacted and ended up putting our friendship on the line. I didn’t meant to stay away for so long. I’m just a stubborn asshole. I’ve missed you so much. Fuck y/n, I would honestly rather you date a monkey than that asshole. You know I only acted like that because I care about you right? Your happiness means a lot to me and I know how Mark is. I don’t want him breaking your heart. I’ll kill him if he ever does.” You softly giggled.

“I’m not worth going to jail for Jinyoung.” He shook his head in disagreement before pulling you on to his lap.

“I’d do anything for you. Remember that. These last few weeks without you have been torture and I learned that I can’t physically live without you. Please don’t hide things from me anymore. I can’t promise you he and I will be friends, but we can at least be cordial for your sake. He um..he’s taking good care of you right?”

You nodded in agreement before placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “I’m sorry for everything that I’ve put you through Jinyoung. I promise to be a better friend, I hate not having you in my life. You’re my best friend, I refuse to be without you anymore. You’ll always be the most important man in my life. Remember that.”

After a few minutes of catching up and continuing your apologies, he sent you on your way. When you got in to Mark’s car, he was quick to notice the wide grin on your face and his heart fluttered. Your smile did wonders to him.

“I’m taking things ended well?” You nodded in agreement as the two of you made your way back to his place. Mark had asked you to be his girlfriend almost two months after your first date and you could honestly say you felt as if you were on cloud nine. He was the perfect boyfriend. Your happiness was his main focus and he did whatever he could in order to make you happy. He never forced you in to doing anything you didn’t want to and allowed you to set the pace of your relationship.

The two of you were kept a secret, but you liked it that way. You didn’t want anyone else being involved in your relationship. A huge part of you felt that if people were to find out about you and Mark, that’s when things would go downhill. You could tell Mark really did change his ways to impress you and you knew that as much as he wanted to take things slow with you, he was slowly losing his resolve. Every time the two of you made out, you could tell he wanted to take things further with you, but you just weren’t ready to give yourself to him just yet. Which is why Mark would excuse himself to the bathroom almost every single time things got hot and heavy and helped himself with the problem in his pants before returning back to you.

However, you were becoming just as impatient as he was and your body craved to be one with your boyfriend. One night, you were over at Mark’s place, attempting to help him study; but one thing led to another and the two of you found yourself making out on his bed. His hands made their way all around your body as his tongue left marks along the juncture of your neck and jaw. You could feel him against your thigh and the feeling sent shivers down your spine. When he noticed his painful and fast growing erection, he tried to pry you off in order to find means of release, but you were quick to continue your ministrations of grinding on to his thigh.

“Y/n—“ Hearing him moan in to your ear was an indescribable feeling and you could feel your core begin to throb.

“I trust you Mark. Take me please. I’m all yours.” The animalistic growl that came from the back of his throat didn’t go unnoticed to you and you found yourself rubbing your thighs together in order to create any sort of friction to help your building orgasm.

Mark was well aware that you were a virgin, you explained to him many times that you wanted to wait for the right person to lose your virginity to. Seeing the way Mark looked at you with so much love and admiration in his eyes; you knew he was the one you wanted to give yourself to.

“I’m gonna take such good care of you baby. I promise.” He placed gentle kisses along your face before dragging his fingertips along your body. His lips marked their territory along your chest, sucking and nipping at your clothed breasts before ultimately ripping your bra off; earning himself a whine from you.

“Mark! That was my favorite bra!” He giggled in to your neck.

“I’ll buy you more princess. Now hush. It’s time to eat.” He played with both of your breasts before taking one completely in to his mouth whilst playing with your other one, massaging your breast and twisting at your nipple. You couldn’t fathom in to words how good this all felt. He knew exactly what to do to make you squirm. When he was done loving on your breasts, he made his way down to your extremely soaking pussy. He brought his finger to your slit and all but gently traced his index finger against it, collecting some of your juices and bringing it in to his mouth.

“Mmm, you taste so good and you’re so fucking wet.” He shoved his two fingers inside of your cunt and began to pump, causing you to moan and release the most erotic sighs. Your facial expressions only made Mark harder to the point where he needed to distract himself. He finally lowered himself to where you needed him the most and kissed your inner thighs before taking the time to suck and nibble on them.

You tried pushing his head towards your entrance so that he would get the hint that you needed him to do anything to help the hot sensation between your legs but he continued to tease you. It wasn’t until he heard you beg that he finally gave you what you wanted. When you felt him lick a strip along your center, you almost screamed but you were quick to bit your lip in order to keep the noise at a minimum.

The grip he had on your thighs and hearing him lick and slurp against your very sopping pussy brought you closer to the edge. To your dismay, he pulled away in order order to catch his breath and to see the effect it was having on you. Seeing him smile so innocently while he was doing such a sinful act made you chuckle, but it was soon replaced by a moan when he reattached his lips to your clit. The feeling of him eating you out while pumping his fingers in and out of you at a rapid pace was sending you over the moon.

You tried your best to gently tug on his hair, but the faster and harder he went only made you get rougher yourself. In his previous experiences, your boyfriend hated hair pulling. It always interrupted him because of how painful it was. But seeing the effect his fingers and his tongue had on you and feeling you tug on his curly locks only turned him on more. He loved the feeling of your long, dainty fingers pulling at his hair. It just proved how much you were enjoying his ministrations.

Soon, you felt yourself releasing all over his tongue and your boyfriend lapped all of your juices up. He made his way back up to you and placed a sloppy, wet kiss on your lips. “How was that princess? You taste amazing by the way. I could eat you out for hours.”

You smirked up at him. “It seems as though I’ve been missing out on such a mind blowing experience. That was wonderful, thank you.”

He got up from the bed and made his way toward his dresser, taking out a condom and returning back to his spot in bed. “Y/n, you sure you want this? We can wait baby. You know I’ll wait however long you need me to. I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to—FUCK.” You playfully brought your hands in to his sweats and began to palm him through his underwear. However, Mark was quick to stop your teasing all together.

He pulled off both his sweats and his underwear before placing the condom on to his hardened cock. He was huge. You’ve heard a couple of your friends talk about their first times and a part of you was nervous of the stretch they all seemed to talk about. From every experience you’ve heard about, it was painful. But you trusted your boyfriend and you knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. He lined himself at your entrance and dragged himself along your folds to lubricate himself.

“It’s going to hurt a little in the beginning, so tell me if you need me to stop. But I promise it will feel so good later.” He slowly brought himself inside of you and you bit your lip to try and hide how painful it was. When Mark saw your uncomfortable facial expression, he connected your lips together in order to take your mind off of the pain. However, you knew your boyfriend was having a hard time staying inside of you and not doing anything.

“Are you okay? How are you feeling?” You pinched at his bicep and quietly let him know that it was okay to move. He released a sigh of relief before pumping in to you. “Fuck, you’re so tight and extremely wet. You’re taking me so well baby. So, so good. Just like that.” With every thrust, the pain was replaced with pleasure and you began to beg your boyfriend to go faster.

“Mark..baby..I need you to go f—faster. Please. F—fuck.” Your boyfriend pounded in to you at such a rapid pace and you loved every single second of it. His hands that were gripping tightly on to your waist made their way up to your hands and he intertwined the two together. Seeing your beautiful mounds bounce as he pumped himself in to you was an erotic sight for Mark and he couldn’t take it, it was all too much.

“Y/n, I love you. I love you so fucking much baby. You’re mine. All mine.” Hearing those three words fall from his lips was an indescribable feeling. You didn’t think people like Mark were capable of love, but you knew he was sincere and meant every single word.

“Please tell me you’re close. I don’t want to come before you do. Fuck baby, you’re actually going to be the death of me.” After a few more minutes of skin on skin slapping, countless moans, grunts and murmurs of sweet nothings, you were coming all over his cock. With the way you were clenching around him, Mark came not too long afterwards. He plopped down on your chest and connected your lips together before resting his face in between your breasts.

You gently ran your fingers through his hair and smile softly at him. “Mark?” He looked up at you with the cutest look of curiosity on his face and hummed. “Did you mean it? You love me?” He happily nodded in agreement before placing a long, passionate kiss on your lips.

“I’ve been in love with you for a while. You’re an ethereal being y/n. I cannot fathom in to words how wonderful you are. You’re an actual dream baby. By the way, that was mind blowing. I’m never going to get enough of you. How are you even real?” You giggled against his neck and pulled him closer to you, the need to be near him was unreal.

“How was that? Was I okay? I know I probably didn’t know what I was doing and I’m sure you’ve been with girls with more experience—“ he placed a finger against your lips to silence you before pushing some of your hair back.

“You were amazing y/n. I‘m having a hard time believing this was your first time. You took me so well. You’re actually the best sex I’ve had and I’m sure it’s because you’re the only girl I’ve ever loved  and the only girl I ever plan on loving.” Tears started to brim at your eyelids and he gently kissed them away before they had a chance to fall. “Come on love, let’s go to bed.”

From that day on, the two of you had a sexual awakening. He meant it when he said once he’s had a taste of you, he wouldn’t get enough. The two of you relinquished in your love pretty much anywhere, the thought of someone catching you only heightened your excitement. Unfortunately, you were too busy falling in love with Mark to notice the world going on around you.

It wasn’t until your friend pulled you to the side to ask you what was going on that made you realize your fairytale was soon to become a nightmare.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. We’re not even friends.” You remembered the pact the two of you made about nobody knowing of your relationship and now you felt as if Mark purposely made it that way. He claimed to have wanted to protect you, but you couldn’t help but feel as if he was ashamed of your relationship and was trying to hide you. She furrowed her brows in confusion before continuing.

“Well you better go set him straight then. He’s telling everyone he took your virginity and that you’ve been begging him to sleep with you again.” Her words sent you in to a frenzy and you became numb. You could only hope and pray that what she was saying wasn’t true. But Jinyoung’s words were coming back to haunt you.

He’s only going to break your heart once he gets what he wants.

You made your way to the cafeteria where you were sure he was and searched the crowed for your boyfriend. When you finally found him, you marched over towards him and released a frustrated sigh when you noticed he wasn’t alone. There was nothing more you hated than Mark’s unfortunate group of friends. They were all fuck boys and some of the biggest narcissistic assholes in your school. You never understood how Mark could be friends with such losers, but you weren’t one to tell your boyfriend how to live his life. Bambam was the first one to spot you and when he did, the obnoxious boy began to whistle.

“Look what we have here. Isn’t it the beautiful y/n. Was Mark’s dick that good that you came back for more?” Strike one. You ignored him and made your way towards Mark.

“We need to talk.” The rest of his friends began to boo as you grew impatient while waiting for his response.

“Ooooh Markie, she wants to talk. Get in line princess. There’s hundreds of girls waiting to hook up with him, what makes you any special?” Strike two. The fact that Mark wasn’t speaking up sent a jab to your heart and you could feel it slowly breaking with every second you were waiting for him to defend you, to fight for you. But you were left with nothing.

“Get out of here y/n.” You could tell in his eyes he was pleading for you to leave, it was obvious things were going to get ugly. You could tell he was trying to nonverbally communicate with you that he would talk to you later, but you saw a side of him that you had thought no longer existed. The boy who listened to what his friends would say. The boy who cared about his reputation more than anything else. Obviously more than you. The person sitting in front of you wasn’t your boyfriend, you didn’t know who he was. You couldn’t take it anymore, you needed to get it off of your chest, even if it meant walking away single.

“Why are you telling people we’ve slept together?” He scoffed before standing up and walking toward you.

“Because we did. Is there a problem with that? Most girls flaunt off the fact that they’ve hooked up with me. That’s the reason why you agreed to tutor me so easily isn’t it? Because you wanted to get in my pants? God y/n, girls like you are pathetic. Face it, girls like you could never get a guy like me no matter how hard you try. You’re nothing but a pretty face, brains and some nice tits. Just like many other girls in this school. Like BamBam said, you’re nothing special. If anything, you should’ve listened to Jinyoung. I was only using you to tutor me. Not only did I raise my grades with your help, but I got pretty good sex too. Practically a steal if you ask me. You were a good fuck, I’m not going to lie. But that’s all you’ll ever be to me. A good fuck—“

Strike three. The loud slap could be heard throughout the entire cafeteria to the point where all heads were turned in your direction. You couldn’t respond, couldn’t process what he just said. You were humiliated; you wanted the ground to swallow you whole. All you could do was smack him across the face as tears built up in your eyes but you refused to cry in front of him. He wasn’t worth your tears. You knew he didn’t mean a word he said.

Your Mark, the love of your life; you were sure he was replaced by some monster. The Mark you were in love with would never do anything to hurt you, yet here he was, making a fool out of you, the only person he claimed to have any meaning to him in order to impress his stupid friends.

“I am so stupid. I should’ve never fallen in love with you. I should’ve known you would do this. You are the biggest piece of shit in all mankind. You’re pathetic Mark Tuan. You know what? Fuck you. I hope you had fun wasting my time. I never want to see your face ever again.” You stormed out of the cafeteria and ran as fast as you could. You didn’t know where you were going, but you didn’t care. All you knew was that you needed to get the hell out of there before people started to come up to you. Before you could open your locker, you felt somebody tug at your wrist and thinking it was Mark, you roughly pushed the person away until you heard him softly call out your name.

“Y/n, hey. It’s me. Come on, let’s go home.” Jinyoung grabbed your things and reached for your hand. However, it was apparent that you had no energy to walk, so he bent down in order for you to climb on to his shoulders. In most situations, you would decline his offer to carry you. However, Jinyoung knew you better than anyone else. Your mind wasn’t completely there and he knew your heart was broken. He was afraid he wouldn’t be enough to fix it.

He just so happened to be in the cafeteria when the confrontation happened and as much as he wanted to beat the shit out of Mark for publicly humiliating you, you were his main focus in that moment. He carried you to his car and placed you in the passenger seat. You felt empty, as if all the life was sucked out of you completely. Mark said those words so easily, as if he meant every single one of them. You should’ve left when he told you to, but it was better that you didn’t. You got to see his true colors; got to see what his priorities were and you obviously weren’t one of them.

Once Jinyoung parked, he walked over to your side and picked you up bridal style before carrying you up to your apartment. As soon as the two of you entered, he brought you in to his room and lied you on his bed before joining you and pulling you in to his embrace. He didn’t want to say anything, he was going to wait for you to react before doing anything. When you began to cry, Jinyoung was sure his heart was breaking with every sob. If there was anything Park Jinyoung hated; other than Mark Tuan and his stupid group of friends, it was seeing you cry. Being friends with you for years allowed Jinyoung to see it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. However, this was by far the worst thing that had ever happened to you. All he could do was run his fingers through your hair and gently rub your back in order to calm you down.

After a good hour of crying in to his chest, your breathing became steady and you looked up at Jinyoung with the saddest smile on your face.

“Say it.” He looked down at you and frowned. 

“Say what?” You shrugged. 

“I told you so. I should’ve listened to you. You’re always right. I don’t know why I thought this situation was any different. I’m so fucking stupid.” He was quick to shake his head in disagreement before gently pinching your cheek.

“You’re not stupid. He said all the right things that made you fall for him. Hell, I even fell for his act. He seemed to have genuinely cared about you y/n and I don’t doubt that he does. He just made the wrong decision and now he’s going to pay for it. But please don’t be so hard on yourself. If anyone is stupid, it’s your dumb ass ex boyfriend. He just lost the best thing that’s ever happened to him and for what? His playboy reputation? Friends who obviously could give less of a shit about him? Girls who could never hold a candle to you? What a fucking piece of shit. I’m gonna kill him, I’m telling you. Nobody hurts my girl and gets away with it.”

You looked up at him and softly pecked his cheek. “I feel like shit. It’s as if he ripped my heart from out of my chest and stepped on it countless times. Am I really that worthless and pathetic like he said I am Jinyoung? Is that all I’m really good for? A one night stand? Am I not worthy of being loved by someone? Everything he said to me was a lie. I hate him. I never want to see or talk to him ever again.” Your best friend frowned before pulling you closer to his chest. He hated hearing you talk so negatively about yourself. You were the most beautiful human being to exist. You deserved the world and more. Why would Mark throw away everything that happened between the two of you just to seem high and mighty to his friends? You couldn’t process it.

Jinyoung knew that he had to do something in order to get back at Mark; he just didn’t know what he could do without getting in to too much trouble. A black eye was too easy; Jackson’s healed up in a few days. He wanted to hit Mark where it hurts; and that’s when an idea popped in to his head. But he was going to give you a few days to rest and recover before telling you of his plans. After all the crying and stress you went through, you found yourself falling asleep pretty quickly. Jinyoung took this time to admire you and wished that you would bounce back from this. Nobody deserved heartbreak, especially not you. You were always so quick to put others before yourself and Jinyoung was aware that you put Mark on such a high pedestal. Which is why he knew his idea would practically ruin Mark and he could only hope that you’d want to go along with it.

The next day, you woke up to an empty bed, but you noticed you were changed in to one of Jinyoung’s shirts. You smiled at the realization, he must’ve helped you change right before he left. It didn’t take you long to notice the letter on his desk explaining that he went to school and left breakfast for you on the stove. He also prepared some of your favorite movies and a few bottles of alcohol for when you were in the mood. You slowly made your way in to the bathroom and sarcastically laughed when you saw how horrible you looked. Why did you allow such a stupid boy to do this to you? As much as you wanted to avoid looking at your phone in case Mark tried to get in touch with you, you wanted to thank Jinyoung for taking care of you.

A part of you was worried of what he was capable of doing to Mark at school, especially since you wouldn’t be there, but you didn’t care. He broke your heart, so you wouldn’t mind if Jinyoung broke his face. You weren’t surprised when you saw the 32 text messages 19 missed calls and 12 voicemails all from Mark, but you just weren’t ready to read or listen to any of them. You just wanted to get drunk and sleep the day away. As you were twenty minutes in to watching Friends, the knock on your door got your attention.

“Y/n, we need to talk. Open up. I know you’re in there.” Hearing his voice after only 24 hours brought so many feelings to you. Anger. Hurt. Pain. Humiliation. However; it only made you realize how much you missed him and how much you still loved him. Even after what he put you through, you weren’t going to lose feelings for him overnight. But what good would it do if you were to open the door? If anything, you’d be making a big mistake if you were to let him in. Letting him in to your apartment meant letting him back in to your life and there was no way you could forgive him as of right now.

“Y/n please. I can explain. I made a mistake. A huge fucking mistake. You know I didn’t mean anything I said. I know you know I love you with every fiber of my pathetic being. Fuck baby, I’m so fucking sorry. Please open up. You need to know I’m not the one who started telling people that we hooked up. I don’t know how he got my phone, but Jackson read our text messages and opened his big ass mouth. Please open up. I need to see you. I’m nothing without you. Please.” His voice cracked when he said the last few sentences and you were sure it broke your heart even more if that was possible. Your heart begged for you to open the door, but your mind stood it’s ground.

You called Jinyoung and let him know Mark was outside and that you didn’t know what to do. He told you to stay put and to not allow him in. You knew exactly what would happen if you allowed him inside. Plus, you had nothing to say. This man used you, broke you and acted as if you were nothing. Silly you for believing you could be the one who could change his ways. He continued to knock and cry for what felt like hours until you heard another voice outside. Jinyoung was home and you couldn’t be more happier.

You heard him telling Mark to leave and threatening him to call the cops in which Mark was quick to retaliate. You knew Mark wasn’t going to leave without seeing you, so with the tiny amount of courage and strength you had left, you opened the door and pulled Jinyoung inside.

“Go Mark. I meant it when I said I never want to see you again.” The tears welling up in his eyes and his broken expression made you tear up yourself, but the tight grip on your waist prevented you from doing anything you’d regret.

“Please..hear me out y/n. I can’t lose you.” You sent a chilling glare in his direction.

“You already lost me when you decided I wasn’t as important to you as your fucking ego. Now get out of here before I scream.” He looked as if he was crying all night. His eyes were extremely red and his cheeks were puffy; but you didn’t care. He deserved it. Jinyoung slammed the door in his face before pulling you in to his chest.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t come home sooner. How are you feeling?” You began to cry in his chest again and he gave you a couple of minutes to let it all out before bringing you back in to his room. It seemed as if all you were capable of was crying. Jinyoung sighed when he saw the food still out on the counter, he was completely aware that you had no appetite. But he knew there was only one type of food you would eat no matter how upset you were. When he got up from the bed and made his way outside, you let out a small whine but you were still too numb to get up and see where he went.

Just a few minutes later, he came back with a container of ice cream and a glass of wine. You smiled tiredly at him before he handed you the tub and made space for him on the bed. To your surprise, he picked you up and pulled you on to his lap, taking the tub of ice cream in his hands and began to feed you.

“You’re gonna be okay y/n. Remember your worth. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you.” Two weeks past since that horrible incident and although you weren’t completely yourself just yet, you finally got up from Jinyoung’s bed and actually went back to school. You blocked Mark’s number completely and deleted him on all of your social media. Since you only had two classes on campus, you were quick to leave before risking the chance of bumping in to him and his stupid friends. You slowly got back in to things and you were sure it had a lot to do with your best friend.

A week after Mark came to your apartment, Jinyoung had told you of the idea he came up with to get back at Mark and although you were hesitant and didn’t like the thought of using Jinyoung, you knew that seeing the two of you together as a couple would ruin Mark. There were times that Mark would come over while Jinyoung was home and Jinyoung would jokingly touch you in order to mess around with the older boy. Everyone and their mothers knew how jealous Mark was of your best friend and you decided that this was a great plan to get back at him with. However, you were sure Mark was already moved on. He could get any girl he wanted. You wouldn’t be surprised if he added more girls to his body count and you rolled your eyes at the thought.

“You know y/n, instead of fake dating, we could film a sex tape and send it to him. Or even lure him in to coming here and walk in on us having sex—“ you threw a pillow at him and released a sigh.

“The second option doesn’t sound too bad, but I want the whole school to know about us and there’s no way I’m sending our sex tape around campus.” He shrugged, but the thought of having sex with Jinyoung brought a blush to your cheeks. In the last two weeks, you found yourself looking at Jinyoung in a different light. You didn’t know if it was because you were still so vulnerable or because you missed being loved on. But you were sure it also had to deal with the fact that Jinyoung took such good care of you. He tended to your every need, made sure you were eating your meals and getting your work done. He made you feel wanted, made you feel like the only girl in the world. He made you feel things not even Mark could.

Jinyoung wanted you to get rid of the thought of Mark completely. Which is why he was so willing to do this for you, even if it meant developing feelings for you and getting hurt in the end. Finally the day came where Jinyoung’s plan would be put in to action. The two of you made your way to school and once you got out of the car, he was quick to intertwine your hands together and took your bag from you.

“Ready babe?” You giggled at the pet name before nodding. People who knew the two of you were aware that you were friends, but when some of the students saw the two of you holding hands, you didn’t fail to notice them whispering while the two of you began to walk. You went about your day as if nothing happened, but news spread around your school like wildfire. You didn’t think people even knew who you were, but after what happened between you and Mark just a few weeks ago, everyone seemed to know your name. You could only hope that Mark got word of your newly formed relationship. When lunchtime finally came around, Jinyoung picked you up from your class and reached for your hand.

“Show time.” You tried your best to ignore the stares, but it seemed as everyone in school was completely aware of your situation. When you walked in to the cafeteria, you tried not to make it obvious that you were looking for Mark, and released a sigh of relief when Jinyoung whispered that he was there. He placed a chaste kiss on your forehead before having you sit down so that he could grab something for the two of you to eat. You decided to go on your phone for the time being and waited for Jinyoung to arrive back to your table. When he finally came back, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your lips before handing you your food. The two of you should’ve really practiced the night before, you weren’t quite used to feeling his lips on yours. His lips felt foreign but you weren’t going to lie, you liked it. He wasn’t rough nor as passionate as Mark was, but you knew it was because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

“I always liked it when you wore my clothes. You look cute.” You playfully rolled your eyes as you shoved a piece of watermelon in his mouth. Jinyoung discreetly took a look at Mark’s table and let you know that Mark was fuming. You took a look for yourself and playfully bit your lip as you leaned forward and placed a long, sloppy kiss on the corner of Jinyoung’s mouth. To your dismay, you saw a figure making their way toward the two of you in your peripheral vision and prepared yourself just in case it was Mark. However, when you saw it was Jackson, you released a sigh of relief.

“Wow, who would’ve known. The two of you? I honestly didn’t see it coming. Jinyoung here has been following you like a lost puppy for years now. Are you finding comfort in your best friend since Mark doesn’t fuck the same pussy twice?” Jinyoung quickly stood up and hovered over the arrogant boy.

“You want another black eye again don’t you? Punk shit.” You gripped at Jinyoung’s bicep before motioning for him to sit down. You got up and made your way towards Jackson and turned in the direction of Mark’s table.

“Mark didn’t tell you guys did he? We were dating, for the last six months. When he wasn’t busy sucking on your dicks, he was with me. He had to wait five months for me. Do you really think, with that tiny brain of yours that he would’ve waited around for me for that long if I was nothing but a simple fuck to him? You and your entire group of friends are capable of nothing but sex and from what I’ve heard through the grapevine, everything about you is short and underperforming.” You heard Jinyoung quietly chuckle behind you and the angry look on Jackson’s face only fueled you to piss him off some more.

“Yes, Jinyoung and I are dating. It took a really shitty relationship with Mark and underwhelming sex to realize my worth and what I deserve. I deserve someone who loves me and cares for me the way Jinyoung does. And someone who actually can get me to come. By the way, I’ve only slept with two guys and Park Jinyoung is by far the best sex I’ve ever had. Now if you excuse me, I’d like to enjoy lunch with my boyfriend in peace. And tell your friend over there to stop trying to contact me, my phone company keeps complaining about his nonstop calls and texts. Let him know that I’ve moved on to bigger and better things. Literally.”

Jackson’s mouth was hung low and he couldn’t do anything but just stare at you in disbelief. When you realized he was still standing there, you wrapped your arms around Jinyoung’s neck and pulled him in for a sweet kiss. You then turned around to face Mark and blew him a kiss while winking. With the way his jaw was tightened and his fists were clenched, you knew you got to him and it felt great.

Jinyoung looked at you with so much confusion yet confidence and he let you know that he was extremely proud of you for standing up for yourself. “So, shall we go home now and I can show you how big I actually am?” You coughed up some of your water before playfully slapping his arm. “Take me on a date first Park Jinyoung, then we’ll see how it goes from there.”

If I am just a piece of cake (cake) Then, you're just a piece of meat You're just a piece of meat to me

[dat-fandom-losertown]

I LOVE YOUR PACIFIC RIM AU SO FAR!!! I was so engrossed I almost forgot to sleep last night! I love how you portray things, and you write very well! If it's okay to ask, do you have any examples of what you think the characters wear? I know you explained some, but I'm a bit visual when it comes to outfits (in my head I just imagine them in whatever suits the Mood™ :'3). If not that's okay!!! I wouldn't mind a (more?) thorough word-explanation, either!!! Please and thank you? :D

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I am so touched that you like TDBU so much!! Is it weird to say that I saw you liked each chapter and it 100% made my day?  And, like, the mom friend in me wants to yell “DON’T SKIP SLEEP”, but I can’t count all of the times I’ve pulled an all nighter just to finish a good fic so... 😂😂 But really, thank you so much for taking the time to read TDBU and leaving an ask!! 😄💖

As for what the characters wear, I plan on drawing the main 4 once my Hand and Brain decide they wanna work together Lol (I hate artist’s block), but for now I’ll try giving you a description and various reference pictures of what they wear, because I don’t think I ever went into real detail about it. Clothing is one thing I usually don’t think about often in real life, and, looking back, my writing really shows it 😅🤣

This got really long because I did everyone (because not everyone gets a custom wardrobe like the main 4) and I love to ramble and talk a lot, so I put it all under the cut 😊

Basically, in my AU, trainees are allowed to wear basically whatever they want as long as it’s “gym appropriate” (but no shorts). So for the OC trainees, imagine a lot of yoga pants, leggings, tennis shoes, fitted T-shirts, and tough pants. All of the background employees and Luther wear the cannon Pacific Rim uniform (the first and second outfits), with the only exceptions being the scientists and Chloe (they go semi casual, some good examples can be found using Google Images), and Marshal Fowler (who also follows cannon; the third pic).

For Markus, Simon, North, and Josh, I imagine them wearing things that are close to cannon like below. Just imagine that North’s shirt doesn’t go off one shoulder, and Josh loses the jacket, and Simon and Markus lose the turtlenecks/hoods. They all, of course, have their casual outfits, but whenever Connor or Ritch see them, it’s like this. The one exception being at the party where they were all wearing various types of pajamas and comfort clothes (imagine whatever you want for the pajamas, honestly).

I imagine Hank wearing clothes close to Cannon as well (at least for now), like below. That’s his favorite sweatshirt and is seen most frequently in it along with various, dark-colored sweat pants that usually have food stains or random, small holes at the seams from age. Although, as Connor mentioned briefly in the last chapter, he has seen Hank without his infamous sweatshirt once when he dropped the alcohol off the night of the party (and I am offended at myself for not pointing that out in that chapter. It was supposed to me a very minor thirst moment for Connor because Hank’s arms are 👌 in this AU), and that was the stained, grey T-shirt we all know from the “Wake Up Lieutenant” scene. He also either wears an old pair of tennis shoes or slippers depending on how his day is going/what kind of mood he was in that morning (Connor will actually mention this in the next chapter, which will be up tomorrow!!).

Gavin is where things start to deviate (no pun intended) from cannon. He normally wears a grey (any shade as dark or darker than below) or a muted red T-shirt (similar below). He always wears dark (either blue or grey/black) fitted jeans (but not skinny or tight!!) with it, but no jacket. He’s technically a full-time Jaeger pilot, so he needs to wear clothes he can easily and quickly change out of so he can get into uniform and to the jaeger ASAP. A jacket and tight pants are two more obstacles between him and a city-destroying alien, but he’s also vain enough to not want to wear the official uniform all the time and to not go around looking like Anderson.

The only connection to D:BH cannon that Ritch and Connor’s wardrobe have are their “light and dark” color schemes. Their wardrobe is almost completely identical, with the only major differences being the colors and the fact that Ritch has heeled boots**. The pictures below show what Connor wears every single day (minus the gloves; he only wears those during training), but his shirts can be any shade of dark grey, and he has another set of pants that are navy blue. The second picture is more accurate to what Connor wears as pants than the first pic (whch should also help explain how he hid so many alcohol bottles without it being immediately suspicious), but the belt is the same as the first pic. All you need to do to get Ritch’s outfits is replace the black shirt with a white, off-white, or silver/light grey shirt, make his pants grey (he always makes sure his pants are darker than his shirt, but lighter than Connor’s shirt), and replace the boots for the ones in the third picture. His gloves and boots are both black for dirt and blood reasons, but his belt is a dark grey so it doesn’t "clash” with the light color scheme.

**Ritch fully realizes how dangerous it is to fight in heels, but by the time Amanda had adopted them and started their training, Ritch had been stealing heels and wearing them every day for years in order to be significantly taller than Connor and more easily differentiated from him, so his leg muscles and feet had literally grown used to the incline of the heels. Wearing normal boots (like Connor’s) was (and still is) uncomfortable for him. There will be more details and such about this discussed within the next 2 or 3 chapters, but know that there’s a low chance of him breaking an ankle or something while training or fighting due to reasons. (I’m taking some creative liberties with Ritch’s “shoe problem” because [both thankfully and frustratingly] I couldn’t anything about overuse of high heels by children or anyone else with developing muscles. However, the effects Ritch has in this fic do happen to women after years of almost daily wear, just to a lesser extent, but nowhere on the sites I used said that the heels were higher than 3 inches, which was the minimum Ritch was wearing.)

[tcmmysheiby]

guest of honour: john shelby. [smut]

Requested: Yes.  Word Count: 3.4k words. Authors Note: Loved writing this even though it took me so long! Requests are always open and I’m down to write anything, just make sure you check my rules beforehand. Feedback is appreciated! Also credit to @impracticallyperfect for helping me with certain scenes! Please go and check out her work, some of the best smut I’ve written and sadly it doesn’t go in the tags. 

Too many drinks had led to this, your hand in John Shelby’s as he dragged you through the endless crowds of random people who had turned up to Tommy and Grace’s wedding party. You giggled as you bashed into people, barely having the time to apologise before you were bumping into the next person, wasted champagne drenching the floor due to yours and John’s rushed running.

“It’s not even midnight yet, we could have walked,” you jokingly said, shoving John against the wall in the hallway, thankful that everyone was too concerned with drinking until they couldn’t walk and finding out gossip that involved the Shelby’s. “Why did you bring me out here anyway?”

John shrugged as he leaned down to grab his cigarettes from his trouser pockets, kindly offering you one as he pushed you back and away from his chest. “Just wanted to get to know Grace’s mysterious cousin a little bit better.”

“And you couldn’t have done that in there?” You asked, referring to the main room which was decked out with people, decorations and loud music. You had to shout to get John’s attention when you first made conversation, eye-contact across the room not doing enough to satisfy your desire for the man you had only met and seen from across the church and dinner table.

John smirked as he handed the matches to you, his skin brushing against yours intentionally to get you going - which of course, it did. “Too many people, too loud and frankly, I wanted to see that pretty face of yours in a better light.”

“Are you flirting with me, Mr. Shelby?”

“Yes, have you got a problem with that because I can stop? I mean, there’s plenty of other girls in there that have been eyeing me up all night and I’m more than - “ John began to move away as he spoke but your small hand wrapping around his wrist and pulling him back with all your strength had him smirking. “That’s what I thought, darling.”

You went to speak but you found yourself tongue-tied so instead, you moved so you were stood next to him, your back pressed against the wallpaper that Grace had picked out when she and Tommy first moved into the manor. The two of you continued to smoke, no words being spoken as you soundlessly enjoyed the company of each other. You spotted John flick his eyes over to you every now and again, the smirk remaining on his face as he looked you up and down, annoyed with Grace for keeping such a beauty away from England.

“Should have come over sooner, would have been more than welcome to come and bunk up with me,” John said as he began to walk off, wandering over to a vacant room that was further down the hallway.

You stayed a few feet behind as you replied back to him. “If I knew my cousin’s husband to be had such a good-looking brother then I would’ve been on that boat before you could say Birmingham.”

John paused in the hallway and flicked his cigarette out of an open-window before taking your cigarette and doing the same. “Are you flirting with me, Miss. Burgess?”

“Is that a problem? I mean, there’s plenty of men in there that will be more than willing - “

“Shut up,” John laughed with a playful roll of his eyes as he moved towards you and grabbed your waist, entertained by the easy flow of banter that the two of you shared naturally. “You’re all mine tonight, nobody else's.”

“Who said that?”

Grabbing your wrist with his much larger hand, John held your hand up in the air so he had easy access to your palm. His finger stroked your skin slowly, the action making you smile widely as you tried not to burst into laughter at the handsome boy's unorthodox behaviour.

“The line here says that you are going to get fucked tonight,” he finally replied with so much calmness that it shocked you slightly. One of his eyebrows arched as he looked down at you, your hand still being held by his in the air as he waited for your response. For a second, he believed that he had rushed you but your shocked expression was soon replaced with one full of passion and desire, John’s nonchalance and confidence nothing but a turn-on in your eyes.

One-night stands had never been your thing but when someone as handsome and charming as John wanted you, you were never going to deny your feelings. You fully understood that you might not see John again, your trip in England coming to an end now that the wedding had happened so maybe fucking John would be your last memory of England. Every time you thought of the country, John would be your main thought, the man forever with you.

“John, Tommy wants you,” A voice called from down the hallway, a bang following their words. With anger visible on his face, John turned to look at Arthur who was staggering about, a sympathetic expression etched onto his face when he realised that he had interrupted John and his new lady friend. “I didn’t mean to interrupt but it’s important, Tommy needs you now.”

“Tell Tommy to fuck off,” John shouted back, pushing you away gently and walking towards Arthur despite his words, never one to actually rebel against his brother. “What the fuck does he want?”

Arthur shrugged before turning to look at you, his mouth turning into an ‘o’ shape at the realisation of who you were. “Is another Burgess being added to our family?”

“It’s not like that, Arthur. We were just talking,” John tried to defend, somewhat embarrassed that he had almost been caught acting like a love-sick child in front of his older brother. “Where is he?”

“Main office talking to some of the other lads, business matters.” Arthur whispered the last words as you stepped closer to the brothers, not bothering to listen in on the conversation as you smiled sweetly at John and then at Arthur. “Do you plan on getting with our John?” Arthur asked with a chuckle, shutting up when John angrily poked him in the ribs and cursed under his breath. “Alright, sorry. Right, I need to go and sober up a little bit. See you both later.”

Both you and John watched as Arthur sauntered off, giggling to himself as he thought about something that had happened the previous week yet also terrified of what his wife's reaction would be when she finally caught up with him and saw the glare in his eyes that only came out when he had downed a bottle of alcohol.

“I’m sorry about that,” John mumbled as he anxiously played with his hands, frustrated that his time with you had been cut short. “I’ll have to go and deal with this business before anything else - “

“Don’t worry about it,” you interrupted, placing your hand on John’s arm. “I’ll come and find you later.”

John was a devil, with an angel's face, and a personality that even a genius couldn’t work out but beneath it all, there was boyish boy who still lived in his teenage years that had been cut short by the War and the death of his mother. The small smile that crept onto his face at your words confirmed what you had believed when you first saw him, that under the hard gangster persona, the high-priced suits and cologne, there was a normal man infatuated with a woman he had just met. Cockiness and arrogance disappeared for a few seconds as he smiled down at you and gently tapped your cheek before walking away and leaving you stood alone in the hallway, mind racing with thoughts and dreams about what John would do to you when you were finally alone.

It was a couple of hours later when you finally bumped into John again. All of the ladies that had been invited to the wedding ceremony were spread around inside the house, dancing and chatting with each other, all of them congratulating Grace on finally becoming Shelby despite the disruptions at the start of the strained relationship.

The smell of smoke and booze soon became too much along with your desire for John. You had heard whispers from others about what was occurring outside, the set of rules that Tommy had placed at the start of the evening disappearing when he realised that he needed a distraction. You had a good idea as to where John could be and without thinking, you slipped away from Grace’s side and made your way through the house until you reached the doors that led to gardens that were perfectly kept.

It took you awhile to realise it was John but then you noticed the familiar smirk on the man’s face, the same smirk that had you smiling like a lovestruck teenager over dinner. With his suspenders hanging down and a look of evil in his eyes, you had never felt more attracted to anybody in your life. There was something dangerous about him that brought you in further, desperate to have a taste of the infamous boy even if it was for one night and one night only.

In a crowd of men, you looked out of place as you watched on with a cigarette hanging from your lips, wincing a few times when John managed to get the other man to the ground and kick him in the ribs a few times. His eyes were on you whenever he got a quick moment to look away, his confidence at an all-time high when you arched one eyebrow and smiled seductively.

John didn’t stick around long enough to have a rematch as he made his way over to you with his white button-up in one hand and a wad of cash in the other. The poor man who had been on the receiving end of John’s fists stayed on the floor as he spat out blood, unimpressed with being defeated by a Shelby and in pain but you felt no sympathy towards him, he knew what he was getting himself into when he stood up and announced that he would be the one to take on John Shelby.

“I know somewhere we can go,” John mumbled, his hand pressed against your lower back as he pushed you through the crowd of men who were eager to see the next fight take place. Sensing that you were about to question his activities, John spoke as soon as you opened your mouth. “Less you know the better, alright?”

You nodded your head, not daring to question anything that went on within the Shelby business and certainly not this. It was clear that something was happening secretly that only the Peaky members knew about and John was right, you would feel a lot better not knowing what criminal activities were taking place on your cousin's special day.

The money that John had been holding was given to another man that you did not recognise, a few mumbled words exchanged between the two of them before you were led away again by John’s hands. You wanted to question where you were going and what you would be doing but silence seemed like the right idea and John’s skin on yours was doing nothing but make you wordless.

“Up against a wall? How classy,” you joked, wrapping your arms around the back of John’s neck and dragging him closer. “Not that I’m complaining at all.”

High on adrenaline, John wasted no time as he unpinned your hair and wrapped his fingers in the curly locks, tugging your head to the side slightly so he had access to your neck.

“Going to have you upstairs as well, sweetheart, don’t you worry about that,” he mumbled, his mouth hot on the skin of your neck as he left open mouthed kisses along your glistening skin. “Been waiting all day for this though and I don’t want to wait any longer.”

“What are you going to do?” you teased, pushing John’s head away from the crook of your neck and forcing him to look at you. “Going to fuck me up?”

“Yep, might have to redo your lipstick by the time I’ve finished with you.”

You arched your back at his words and giggled like a school girl as you responded back to his comment. “Are you sure about that?”

“Get on your knees for me, girl, and I’ll prove it to you. How does that sound?”

Nothing else needed to be said, your body already sinking to the floor as you looked up at John. The nerves in your stomach were soon replaced with lust as John unbuttoned his slacks and signalled for you to continue with the rest, his need for your mouth stronger than earlier on in the night. It had been years since he had become attached this quick and deep down, it frightened him a little, not sure if it was lust or developing feelings.

“That’s a good girl,” he whispered, hands returning to your hair where he tugged gently and signalled for you to hurry up.

John was warm in your mouth, heavy against your tongue as you struggled to take all of his girth. His moans sinfully sweet as he helped you move along his cock by the grip in your hair, so tight that you could feel the headache that would come with his release. You knew that you were in for an immoral night, a one night stand with a man you would most likely never see again, but you were so soaked at the thought of it that you already knew that he would make sure that no other man would ever compare to the way he felt and the way he fucked you. There was no going back from just this one taste.

The whimpers coming from John should have caused concern that you might get caught in the act, a Catholic girl on her knees for something other than prayer, but with his body and mind weakening all you cared about was bringing him to the place he desired most. His dominance changed form as he neared his end, too rough to keep his grip on your hair and his hands instead flattened against the brick wall as he thrusts his hips, your throat constricting as he forces the tip of his cock to meet your gag reflex. John allowed you to do your own thing for a couple of minutes as you struggled to recover your breath, sweet words slipping from his lips as he told you how no other woman had ever sucked his cock like you and how he already knew that he would be lost when you left for Ireland.

Your lips were darkened and red with salvia, your tongue flicking out and licking along your bottom lip in an attempt to tease John. His face was emotionless though when you looked up at him, John unimpressed with your sudden attempt at teasing him. The emotionless expression was soon replaced with pleasure though when you swirled your tongue around the head of his cock, continuing a few times until he was whimpering above you, desperate you feel your warm mouth around his length. Cheeks were hallowed as you bobbed up and down without stopping, keen to get John to his peak so you could remember the taste of him in your mouth and the way he looked as he came down for his high.

“Get up,” he moaned, leaning down to grab you when your hands continued to move up and down his length, desperate to see and taste his release in your mouth. “Darling, I said get up. Don’t worry, you’ll get a taste later.”

You looked up with innocence, hand still wrapped around his cock as you made him promise. His mouth was slightly open and eyes half-closed as he nodded once before gulping and pulling you up so you were now stood.

With one swift movement, John had picked you up and was carrying you towards one of outdoor tables, your body hitting the wood with a force as he dropped you. The pain subsided as you grabbed John and finally felt his mouth on yours, his breath warm as it mingled with yours and took your breath away all over again. You tugged on his hair as you pulled him closer, the thought of being caught no longer in your mind as you focused on John and not the fact that you wouldn’t be able to do this again.

His hands gripped your thighs as he dragged you back against the wood, your legs around his waist and your back pressed against the wooden table. Touches up your thighs had you mewling for more, words you had never spoken before coming from your mouth as you begged and pleaded with John to either give you his mouth or his cock.

“Going to fuck you with my cock before anything else, girl,” he said, silencing your pleads with a few simple words and turning your body into a wanting mess.

Your back was pressed against the wooden table as John thrusted his hips against yours, his fingers digging into your waist with pressure at the way you felt around him, all hot and wet and all for him, nobody else at that wedding party. You had your choice of men, a beautiful woman such as yourself could have sneaked off with any of the Birmingham lads but you choose him and he would forever be thankful to God for that.

A series of moans fell from your mouth that was now painted with smudged lipstick, mascara threatening to stain as you cried out loud and attempted to reach up and grab John’s arms for balance but you couldn’t move when your body felt like this.

“Keep going,” you mumbled when John paused for a moment so he could bring you up, your neck now pushed into the crook of his neck and your legs open as you allowed him entry.

Your fingernails sunk into his skin leaving marks that he would most likely have to explain to his brothers the next day when they questioned his disappearing act. He could already see the disapproval on Grace’s face when he explained that he had snuck away with her cousin but John couldn’t care less what others thought and neither could you.

You clenched around John’s cock as your eyes rolled back, your orgasm growing closer with every thrust. “You feel so good,” he moaned against your mouth, all sense of sanity rushing away as he continued to move himself in and out of you at a breath-taking speed. “How am I supposed to let you leave for Ireland when you fuck as good as this?”

You could feel your whole body becoming numb with pleasure as he filled you off, sane thoughts officially leaving your mind as you thought about a life in Birmingham with John when you could have him whenever you wanted. Grace had kindly offered you a place to stay at the country manor but you always declined, now you had a reason.

“Make me want to stay then.”

A variety of moans and screams left your mouth as John’s thrusts became deeper and more brutal with your words. Arching your back, you brought his mouth down to yours, wanting not more but to feel his mouth on your own as you kissed him with passion and need, kisses wet and hot as you swallowed each other's moans.

You were sure that someone would have heard the way you cried out around John’s cock as you came, his thumb on your clit as he brought you to the edge, whispers of filth lingering in the air as his own orgasm hit him hard, his teeth sinking into your shoulder as he rode out your orgasm. John’s breathing was all over the place as he pulled back slightly, pecks pressed against each other’s skins and words of praises shared.

“When do you leave for Ireland?” he asked as he grabbed your hand, turning it so he could trace his finger along your skin. “Because this line here says that you fall in love easily and trust me, doesn’t take long to fall in love with me.”

[sensenoi]

I recently reread Cruel Prince/read the B&N short story, and I had THOUGHTS:

Cardan is already drunk at the coronation because he's angsty about his least favorite brother becoming king, but he gets really drunk to the point of completely missing the coronation massacre because he's pissed about Jude. So essentially, Jude is indirectly responsible for saving his life.

I love how Jude is so shocked that Cardan is attracted to her that her first thought is that he must somehow be lying or twisting his words, while Kaye figures it out in about five seconds flat just watching them dance from a distance, before she's spoken to either one of them.

During the nixie episode, Jude thinks Cardan goes to the river's reeds to get a better look when she slips and falls in the water. He's really about to get into the river to help her if she was actually in trouble. I love how she automatically assumes the worst conclusions with him.

Cardan was probably looking for Jude under the tables after the coronation massacre. She and Taryn have a well-established habit of hiding under the tables at feasts, and he knew she would be in danger. It wasn't luck that Jude got her hands on Cardan - he was actively trying to find her.

One of the guards at Hollow Hall tells Jude and Sophie that Cardan has to return them both back this time. This raises SO MANY QUESTIONS. Cardan at the start of CP wouldn't be the type to return glamoured humans to the human world - he really does have a contempt of them, learned from Balekin and from his friends. But he also wouldn't intentionally hurt human servants either, and definitely not kill them. So what was happening there? I don't think we'll ever get answers and that upsets me a little.

When Jude first breaks into Cardan's room, she sees that he broke his pen. The pen he was writing his infamous Jude note with… so many angsty feelings.

Jude and co are literally the biggest dumbasses for not seeing the Balekin/Madoc alliance coming. Jude recognizes the spy she killed as being Madoc's and just decides not to mention it?? Jude figures out they've been misreading the blusher mushroom note and then not only fails to follow up on her investigation (to be fair, getting sidetracked to rescue Sophie is a noble cause), she fails to mention it to the Court! Sorry but the Court of Shadows is really bad at spying. Just epically bad. No wonder they mess up again in WK.

Cardan making out with random fairies while watching Jude make out with Locke is a mood and I can't believe Jude didn't figure out things sooner.

At the beginning of WK, when Grimsen is introduced, Jude mentions that Cardan had told her some info once about the Alderking's son Severin. I totally forgot that happened in CP and that we also met Severin.

I love how at the coronation and the Hollow Hall party, murder and mayhem is happening with abandon and everyone just stands around eating popcorn and watching the shenanigans unfold.

I really liked The Lost Sisters novella, but it ended a little too soon. I'm forever curious about Taryn's thought process when Jude comes in with Cardan at the Hollow Hall party.

In addition to Jude and co being unbearably bad spies, the one other major failing of the book is that it starts at the point when Jude stops giving a shit and starts fighting back. For the majority of her childhood, Jude has sat with Taryn under tables and hidden in balconies at feasts, bowed her head and bit her tongue to Cardan, and generally kept a low profile when the faeries are asshats to her. At the start of CP, Jude decides she's had enough and enters her rebellious teenage phase. Taryn says multiple times in CP that Jude fighting back "isn't like you" and is a new bad idea Jude hasn't had before. This is reinforced in The Lost Sisters. But we don't really get much of a glimpse of Jude's previously meek behavior, except at the first feast when she curtsies to Cardan. Because of this, Jude starts off in feisty rage mode, which rather lessens the effect of said mode because we don't have anything to compare it to. I wish CP had started a little earlier, so we could get a better contrast and also a better idea of how Jude survived this long if she's willing to push everyone's buttons.

It's very clear that Cardan was attracted to Jude even when he was with Nicasia, which much have pissed him off to no end. I'm so curious when he started developing feelings for Jude.

I didn't notice this so much in WK, but in CP Cardan and Jude's contrasting approaches to alcohol speaks volumes about their personalities. Jude has a low alcohol tolerance and wouldn't drink anyways because she likes to always be in control of herself and always be in a sane frame of mind. She feels like she always needs to be on her toes and can never truly relax (and is in fact kind of creeped out by how relaxed and chill she was at Locke's house). Cardan drinks in excess because he hates his life and if he's drunk he can basically forget about it. Jude is constantly aware of her shitty situation and makes copious efforts to improve it by any means possible. Cardan is unmotivated to improve his shitty situation because he believes there is no way to fix or improve it, so might as well get drunk and have fun.

It will never cease to amuse me that one of Cardan's demands in exchange for helping Jude and co stop Balekin is all the alcohol in the palace. Like, damn.

I love the part when Jude and Cardan are in class the day after she snuck into Hollow Hall and saw Balekin beat him, and she realizes he's actually in a lot of pain but pretending to be his usual chill, snarky self. And she realizes that there's been plenty of times he's come to class and has pretended he's fine when he isn't, just like her. It's a nice moment early-ish on where Jude starts to understand that she and Cardan have more in common than she'd like to think.

It's also a great scene when Jude finally tells Cardan the exact circumstances of Valerian's death. Cardan says he assumed Jude had hunted down and murdered Valerian, and I rather like that Cardan had begun to think the worst of Jude in the same way that she thought the worst of him. When she holds him at knife's point at the end of the coronation, she realizes she's smirking in the same way that Cardan usually did to her. So there's some nice continued role reversal where Cardan is taking on Jude's worst case scenario expectations. When Jude explains that Valerian actually tried to kill her again and came pretty close, Cardan realizes that he had misunderstood Jude's character. Holly Black has said that Cardan is the only person who truly understands Jude, and I think that moment is when Cardan really starts to get Jude and how she operates. He understands that Jude isn't actually as mean and nasty as she's been pretending to be, and that she must have given Valerian quite a few chances for him to have nearly strangled her.

Not a new note, but Vivi's decision to give zero fucks about anything Madoc cares about is amazing and a beauty to witness. The fact that she has maintained and sustained this kind of rebellion for ten years is honestly life goals.

Returning to the B&N short story, I quite like Kaye and I hope she and Jude become friends. But I really don't get the Kaye/Roiben dynamic. I don't think the story did a great job of making their relationship convincing, in part because the story got majorly sidetracked with playing voyeur to Jude and Cardan. Which was my favorite part of the story, but still. This is Kaye's short story, not Jude and Cardan's.

I have SO. MANY. QUESTIONS about the Ghost's motivations. After the coronation massacre, everyone is upset, but the Roach is mostly upset that they now have literally nothing without Dain while the Ghost is mostly upset that Dain is dead. So the Ghost is loyal to Dain, whereas the rest of the Court of Shadows were mostly opportunistic and loyal to the power and money that Dain could offer them. But then why would the Ghost side with Balekin and the Undersea in WK? Balekin literally killed Dain. He stabbed him straight through the chest. I can see the Ghost thinking Jude and Cardan and shitty rulers, but I can't fathom him siding with Balekin. There is clearly other things going on that will be explained in QoN, but right now I am a very confused person.

So it wasn't clear to me until after I reread CP that the original Hollow Hall plan was to drug Madoc and then have him fall asleep at the party while Jude was in the hallway letting the Court in through the window. It wasn't Jude's original intent for Madoc to follow her out, and their duel was her improvising to delay Madoc until the poison took effect. So the OG plan was just for Madoc to collapse in the party in front of everyone and for Balekin to just think this was fine and normal?! I would think that would totally freak Balekin out and maybe even lead him to cancel the party immediately, which would ruin Jude's plan.

Where are the other faerie lands?? Where do the other courts live? Jude has literally only ever been to the islands of Elfhame, but there's this massive faerie world out there that she's heard about but never been to. I'm so curious, and I have a good feeling we'll find out in QoN since the setting is ice and snow.

By the way, super curious also about how Cardan has a copy of Alice in Wonderland in his room. I guess he sees Alice as a Jude parallel. Is he more curious about Alice, the intruder in Wonderland, or about the inhabitants of Wonderland themselves? Everyone keeps commenting that Jude and Taryn's situation is like a fairytale come to life, but I think it's interesting to view their situation through an Alice in Wonderland lens. In the book, Wonderland is insane because it literally runs on dream logic, nothing makes sense, and Alice spends the entire book attempting and failing to apply human logic and reasoning to the madness she encounters. But what if Wonderland wasn't a dream, and what if Alice couldn't go back home in the end? What if Alice had to stay in Wonderland forever?

Every time Cardan tells Jude that she doesn't belong in Faerie and should leave, all I can think about is in WK, when he tells her, "I wasn't sure if I wanted you or wanted you gone from my sight so I that I would stop feeling as I did." Having read that in WK, it's so interesting to go back and see those moments in CP where Cardan is trying to get Jude to leave Faerie so he can forget about her and move on. 

When Jude first starts trying to make alliances with other courts, we get this great line: “’Take care’ he [Cardan] says, then smiles. ‘It would be very dull to have to sit here for an entire day just because you went and got yourself killed.’” Cardan admitted earlier to Jude that he smiles when he’s nervous, and I’m convinced that’s why he’s smiling here. He tells her to take care because he’s genuinely worried about her safety. Then he has an ‘oh shit my feelings are showing’ moment and backtracks by covering his slip up with an insult. 

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”

[kamino-ink]

Masterlist | Kamino-Ink

LEGEND |

✿ - angst

❀ - fluff

✾ - suggestive

I will no longer be including smut in my work! Suggestive themes simply refer to an innuendo that might lead to more in a story, or mentions of sexual themes.

Fantasy!au - in which you explore the lives of all the boys in a new world full of magic, royal debacles, and of course; love [completed!] ✿ ❀ ✾ 

Chan, Woojin, Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin

Disney!au - in which the boys are the children of classic Disney villains and heroes [will be updated whenever, no set schedule] ✿ ❀ ✾ 

Preview, Minho

Soulmate!au - in which everyone has a strange connection to the person they are destined to be with [will be updated at least twice per week] ✿ ❀ ✾ 

Chan, Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix, Seungmin

Hogwarts!au - in which the boys experience life at Hogwarts [not a series yet, just headcanons]

Headcanons

BNHA!au - in which the boys are implemented into the My Hero Academia universe; quirks and all

Headcanons

Wither [Kim Woojin series] - What’s left of the two Koreas is now the pit of entertainment for the rest of the world, built upon corpses, natural disasters, and lost wars - the scattered districts now fight to survive each day. When your name is plucked from the hundreds of thousands in the country, you are left no choice but to comply to your fate - either kill and win, or die trying.

01

October Prompts - I will be following a prompt list for the spooky season, redirect to a mini-masterlist for a list of each work so far. ✿ ❀ ✾ 

Spooky Masterlist

Individual Pieces - a collection of writing that does not belong to an entire series

Meteor Garden [Lee Felix] - You’re the side-character in someone else’s fairytale, and for the most part, you’re okay with it, except you’re constantly seeing the nice guy lose. Sometimes you wished you were the main character of your own story, just so you could make him happy. ✿ ❀ 

Detective Dumbass [Bang Chan] - Detective Bang refused to accept any help from the rest of the squad, insisting that he worked better alone - but what happens when he realizes that he does need his team with him? [loosely inspired by B99] ✿ ❀ ✾ 

Stray Kids as Benders [ATLA] - a bullet-point headcanon about the boys as benders from the Avatar universe.

Bubbles [Han Jisung] - You were one of the many children sent back in time to help change the future - your reality. Along the way, you reminisce on old memories with a childhood friend that calls you quite the endearing name; bubbles. ✿ ❀

Behind The Mask [Lee Felix] ~ spiderman!au - You’ve started to notice how your friend has begun to show up to class absolutely exhausted, always falling asleep - he claims it’s just his schoolwork and his internship, but what you don’t know is that his so-called “internship” is actually his duty to serve the people of Queens as Spiderman. ✿ ❀

Nude [Lee Minho] - Art is your passion, so it’s no surprise that you happen to take quite a few fine art classes during your years at university; however you most certainly were not expecting to draw a nude model so early in the year, nor were you expecting the model to be Lee Minho in the flesh. ✿ ❀ ✾ 

Trust [Bang Chan] - you are a regular ole’ demonologist, just living your best life attending the occasional possession or exorcism - until a novice exorcist with a giant ego accidently gets you into harm’s way. ✿ ❀

Smoke [Hwang Hyunjin] - you’re an infamous school druggie, always coming to school with bloodshot eyes, purple bags, and cracked, bloodied lips. rumors are nothing new to you, and in all honesty you don’t fight them - you don’t want to waste time on meaningless drama, after all. everything starts to change, in a way, when a quiet, easily amused boy comes to your school - and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. ✿ ❀

Burn [Seo Changbin] - your little brother, full of pure innocence and blooming life, was kidnapped by a cult on a remote island - your deadbeat dad doesn’t care to pay the ransom, leaving you to even make sure jeongin is still alive so you can rescue him. the cult is strange, but what’s even stranger is one of the oldest members of it - a mysterious man by the name of seo changbin. ✿ ❀ ✾

Romeo [Lee Felix] - ever since the boy you called your best friend left on the day of his sixteenth birthday with no goodbye or warning, you’ve been determined to grow past the pain he left with you; but of course, not everything works out that way - especially when two years later you end up in South Korea as an up and coming variety show host. ✿ ❀

 Disney!au - a headcanon post about who the boys would be the offspring of in the beloved Disney universe.

 Headcanons

Hogwarts!au - in which you can immersive yourself back into the world of Harry Potter; only this time, the boys of EXO are the characters you’ll be reading about [on hiatus] ✿ ❀ ✾ 

Baekhyun

Finifugal [Park Chanyeol Series] - After an ambush that leaves your left shoulder in stitches, your head bodyguard decides to scour the country in search for a new recruit to help up your safety - when Park Chanyeol shows up and his first request is to dye his hair, you can’t help but wonder who in the world Junmyeon just so happened to recruit. [ongoing - on hiatus] ✿ ❀ ✾ 

01 | 02

Individual Pieces - a collection of writing that does not belong to an entire series

Trouvaille [Do Kyungsoo] - You end up having a one night stand with some random guy at a party, with him leaving you to wake up all alone the next morning. Unfortunately (or perhaps, fortunately) for you, it seems as if fate is truly out for your heart. [requested] ✿ ❀ ✾ {smut scene included}

Disney!au - a simple bullet-point list of NCT 2018 as the sons of treasured Disney characters 

 NCT 2018

[nottooldforthisship]

Here’s the fics I read (and like) during May! (it’s a very long fic rec, fair warning)

☾  Blind Date With A Book  , by  thepsychicclam:      Stiles thought the Blind Date With a Book trend was a great way to drum up business for his small bookshop. He definitely thought it was a great idea after the hot guy kept returning and buying more blind dates with books.Derek didn't know how he kept getting set up on blind dates by his family, or why he kept going on them. The highlight of his night was when the date was over and he could go to the little bookshop in town and buy something to read for the rest of the night. He wanted to read, not date. (30k, M)

☾  Deputy Derek Hale, Alpha  , by  eldee : Deputy Derek Hale has recently become an alpha, and that changes things for him.  Now that he's back after a leave of absence, he's hoping to get what he and Stiles had almost-started back on track. The thing is, it seems Stiles is going through some changes of his own and Derek's not sure how he fits. (12k, E)

☾  Deep Down in His Blood , by wangler  :   “Do you want me to get you wet?” Derek asks, low now, like a growl. (4k, E)

☾  If We Could Match , by  InTheArmsofaThief : As Stiles waits behind the camera during an interview, he thinks he should maybe quit.  Because, in all honesty, despite the charming smile the actor is pulling out for EW, Derek Hale is kind of a jerk. (23k, E)

☾  The Awkward and Sometimes Painful Life of of Genim Hale,  by BlueRunawayMoon  : Stiles is a writer of gay erotica whose work, according to his Editor (one miss Lydia Martin) has gotten dull and boring. Lydia suggest's that Stiles try to LIVE a little, gain some new juicy experiences that he can write about and bring the heat up again. Only problem is Stiles is a bit on the dorky side and not good with 'living a little'. After a whole slew of embarrassing situations brought on by his best(sometimes!) friend Scott, he's given some wise advice and decides to take a tropical paradise vacation. All's going good and well, and he's got a major crush on his super hot tour guide Danny. Yet it seem's like he can't stop bumping into Derek, who, as annoying and brooding as he seem's, also makes it quite clear he WANTS Stiles. As in...wants wants. With the two being brought together almost by fate, Stiles discover's that Derek is more than he seems....WAY more. (113k, E)

☾  Riding the Lightning, by  Vendelin : Stiles finds himself on the doorstep to his home in Beacon Hills, not remembering how he got here or why he’s barefoot. As it turns out, he was abducted a couple of weeks earlier from a college party and bears the same marks on his body as victims of a serial killer his dad just can’t seem to get a hold of. So there he is, with no memories of what happened, the last couple of weeks like a blank line in his mind and knowing all too well that he’s the best shot they have at catching this guy. As a key witness and in acute, assumed danger, he finds himself under surveillance 24/7 and more often than not, his dad’s best Deputy: Derek Hale, is sitting at his kitchen table. (23k, E)

(more under the cut)

☾  Losers, by  stilinskisparkles :  Where Derek is new to college, eager to spend his time learning, and Stiles is everything he didn't want in a room mate. He's loud, he's into sports, and he keeps trying to make Derek do things. Or, the one where Derek falls for a jock, Erica will cut you if you disturb her studying, and Jackson is a closeted romantic who pretends to hate everything. (34k, E)

☾  so, hey, let's be friends. , by standinginanicedress  : Stiles has been fucking obsessed with famous werewolf author Derek Hale since he was fifteen years old and the first book came out. Like, embarrassingly obsessed. Like, had a poster of the guy hanging up on the wall above his bed, obsessed. When Hale moved back to Beacon Hills, Stiles just figured he'd hole himself up in his rebuilt mansion, writing his fourth book, never to fulfill Stiles' endless daydreams about running into him and having the alpha fall madly in love with him. It's completely fucking improbable and nonsensical, would never happen in a million years, so of course Stiles somehow winds up in a no-strings-attached agreement with his literary idol, all while eating chicken McNuggets out of his pocket at random intervals and plotting the demise of the McFlurry mixer. (30k, E)

☾  You'll See Me Again,  by  matildajones  :      Stiles is the soldier who saved Derek and brought him back home. He doesn't seem to care that Derek's a prince or that he's a little bit broken. Derek falls, quick and sure, but it's not easy knowing that Stiles will soon have to return to the war. (10k, T)        

☾  Tremble , by  secondstar  :    Stiles may be cursed but that doesn’t mean he’s going to lay down and die. He’s going to fight. He won’t stop, he can’t stop. If he does, they win. (59k, E)

☾  Strong, Stronger, Strongest , by  Green  :   Close to death, Stiles can choose to die or accept Derek as his Alpha. It's up to the rest of the pack to heal him and face the Alpha pack threat. (16k, E)

☾  Don't You Hear that Rhythm , by  secondstar  :  Being the opener for Blue Pagan was only the beginning for Marked & Bitten frontman Stiles Stilinski. Falling for their violinist, though, felt something more like the beginning of something greater. (49k, E)

☾  Til We Ain't Strangers Anymore, by WriteByNight  :  Or the one where Derek takes off without warning and Stiles finds out he could be Derek's mate and the distance between Derek and Stiles, along with Derek's refusal to develop the bond, is slowly killing Stiles. Without Derek, Stiles will die, but no one knows where he is or how to contact him. And Stiles is barely keeping it together. (35k, E)

☾  Five Time The Pack Made Assumptions About Stiles (+ one time they were right), by graveltotempo : There are 5 things the Pack is sure of: 1. Stiles Stilinski is a virgin 2. Stiles Stilinski can’t defend himself 3. Stiles Stilinski doesn’t have friends outside the pack 4. Stiles Stilinski can't dance 5. Stiles Stilinski has terrible fashion sense . Apparently, they were all wrong (3.5k, NR)

☾  Fling,  by  the_ragnarok  :  Stiles hates spending heats alone. (7k, E)

☾  Word By Word, by  Cobrilee : The first time Derek sees the words, he’s had a really shitty day. Laura was on his case again, all in the name of sisterly love, of course, and Cora was wielding her usual acerbic wit like a rapier. He’d gotten to the scene of a shooting too late and the victim had died before Derek could call for an ambulance. His Camaro had gotten a flat and while he was attempting to change the tire on the side of the road, someone drove by and sent a wave of muddy water arcing, drenching him, and he was cold, muddy, and miserable.Then, as he was sliding into the front seat after toweling off as best as he could, he felt something prickling on his arm and glanced down. Shaky, thin lines began appearing, little by little, and he could do no more than stare as the infamous phrase formed on his arm.  Are you 18? (13k, T)

☾  Laying Groundwork,  by  LunaCanisLupus_22  : Or the one where Scott and Stiles go clubbing and there's this broody Bouncer out to get Stiles-Or get into his pants. Thank God it's the latter. (11k, E)

☾  I Wanna Take a Ride On Your , by Sheepnamedpig :  Stiles is...endowed. Derek...likes it.  (21k, E)