#i just needed to be good andb

[moe-broey]

NUTCRACKER WIPS..............,......

[polyamzeal]

So in trying to find a way to explain poly relationships I have described it like a sandwich. Some people like only cheese, some people like only ham. Some like one or the other but not in the same sandwich. Some people like all the fillings, but only want one. And some people like having jam and peanut butter, or cheese and pickle and ham.some people just like extra fillings. It's no less flavourful. You enjoy each flavour in the sandwich equally even if there's less of some and more of something else. Otherwise you wouldn't put it in the sandwich.

My question is

1. Is this a good way to explain it

2. How woukd you improve upon it

Andb 3. How are you today?

Ahh the good old classic food metaphor. Yeah it works well enough. There are a lot of variations of it like with cheese and so on. Personally I use different meals on different days. Like one night you want pizza for dinner, the next night you want tacos for dinner, and so on. Most people don't eat the exact same thing every night, they want variety. So might find it weird to compare people and relationships to food or even demeaning. But I don't think so, you need both to live.

If you say my personal post from a few days ago then you know I had a wild weekend last weekend. But this weekend much more chill and relaxing. Lots of sleep and recovery time. So I'm pretty good. Thanks!

[patricianandclerk]

fsgshsgh my room was an absolute tip because i’ve been Not So Good with the old executive function these past weeks, so this morning i’ve gone through it, cleared everything away, put away half my laundry, assembled my new shoe rack (and i only fucked up one thing and had to disassemble it lmao) and set up my new bins in the bedroom and bathroom

i still need to put away the rest of the laundry, which is mostly cleaned sheets and towels, so i think i’m going to like, sit and write for an hour and a half and eat lunch now, see about making a bigger dent in it, and then i’ll go off to work in three hours

i’m behind on NaNo but not as behind as i could be, and i have my week’s holiday from tuesday to tuesday, thank fuck like

so i’m going to warm up lunch, check in for my flight, eat, write, put laundry away

and that means tomorrow morning will be free for hoovering aggressively and packing my suitcase for wales

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

The Depths

Part Eight of Take Your Time

Two Days | Masterlist | Guilt

Pairing: Oberyn Martell x Reader x Ellaria Sand Rating: M (this may go up—if it does, I will give everyone fair warning before there is any explicit content) Notes: I hope y’all had a good week! 🧡

Warnings: Cursing; angst; yearning

Summary: There are moments, small, infrequent moments, when a flicker of guilt passes between Oberyn and Ellaria.

The first day underwater is terrifying.

You’re queasy; you can’t keep anything but tea down. It’s not sea sickness, it’s nerves.

The boats are all in order, your team is set for the dive. Everyone is buzzing with excitement as they look over the plans that you’ve set out for them for the day. The first couple of days will be used for observation, planning, and photography. The water is cool; the visibility is better than anticipated. When you surface, you have fewer bubbles of fear, and more bubbles of nerves. A lot of the structures that you can identify as part of the Old Palace been very badly corroded; some have become artificial reefs for marine life, and you already know that you can’t disturb them, lest it harm the ecosystem that’s taken form. There were a few things glinting at the sea floor, a few materials that you believe are copper, but couldn’t get a good enough look at at the time—your tank had been low on oxygen, and the team in the boat had been urging you to surface for the last hour.

You tug your gear off, sucking in a breath of fresh air and raking a hand over your face. Your team is chattering around you, delighted, volleying species spotted, structures noticed. You cast your eyes back toward the water. The artificial reefs, what they were covering...Well, you’ll have to review the pictures, but you’re certain, based on what you’ve seen in drawings, that those were key components to the upper portions of the burial chambers. If you’re right, then there will be no touching them—the Dornish ecological society won’t allow it. “...Boss?” You turn your head back to your team. Someone’s said something to you and you’ve missed it. You push a smile onto your face. “Sorry guys, what’s up?” -- Oberyn and Ellaria see very little of their archaeologist in the week following. It’s not that they don’t try—they certainly do. They drop in on her classes, leave notes with invitations for dinner or drinks the desk in her office. They even take The Red Viper near the area of the dive once. They see her pulling on her gear just before she drops off of the boat and into the water. Oberyn watches her during one of her lectures. Where she’s had an ease, a joy to talking about these topics before, the archaeologist is now distracted and almost rigid in her teaching. He’s seen the papers, he knows that the early findings underwater haven’t been nearly as promising as she’d hoped. It’s beginning to wear on her, the threat of failure. And there are moments, small, infrequent moments, when a flicker of guilt passes between Oberyn and Ellaria. They know what else lays at Blackmont Cove—they know what she’s looking for, and they know that she won’t find it in the depths. But they’ve kept their anonymity for so long—they’ve managed to stay afloat by being careful. Doran and the Sand Snakes went out of their way to destroy so many depictions of them, save for the ones that remain in Blackmont Cove. If they’re found...Well, it’s not worth thinking about what may happen.

They get the notes that they leave for her back—slipped under their doors or pinned to the bulletin boards outside of their offices. They bear responses like Sorry, the dig is too busy, or, Some other time. This happens for weeks. They can’t even catch the archaeologist after her classes—she steams out of there, and they know she’s headed for the dive. Ellaria inspects the latest note that she left for the archaeologist—another invitation to the open-air market. This one just has a hurried scribble that reads Can’t. She glances up as Oberyn comes into the office, sees the slight calculation and subsequent concern in his expression. “You look troubled, my love,” He says. Ellaria holds the note out for him, and he takes it, looking over the response. She sees his brow furrow just a touch. “A disappointment, but not a surprise,” He passes the note back to her. “I suppose,” She concedes, looking down at the note again. Oberyn rests his hands on Ellaria’s hips as he considers her expression. “...What is it?” He presses. She takes in a deep breath, her eyes flitting around the office. “It’s just...Quite rare that we meet someone that understands so much about...The lives that we knew. It was refreshing.” Oberyn hums, urging her on, and Ellaria meets his gaze, “I let myself get my hopes up, and now it feels...Foolish.” Oberyn smooths his thumbs in soft circles along her sides. “It’s not foolish to want someone, or to appreciate their prowess.” “Yes. You spent many hours appreciating her prowess.” Oberyn chuckles, raising his hand and cupping Ellaria’s cheek, “Be serious a moment.” Her mirth drops away as quickly as it arose, and she lowers her eyes to his chest. “Well,” She says, “Whatever happens, I enjoyed our time together.” Oberyn nods, tipping his head up and brushing a kiss to her forehead, then her lips. “Giving up so easily? Now who is being timid?” He teases. “There is a difference between being timid and taking the proper caution. I attended her class this morning—I’ve never seen anyone so tired.”

-- The Dornish Ecological society is staunch in their insistence that you leave the artificial reefs alone, as you knew that they would. You’re on the phone with them when you hear a knock on your office door. You glance up and spot Oberyn there. Something in your gut clenches—something nervous and twisty. You hold your hand up and point to the phone.

Oberyn nods.

And you figure he’ll leave, but instead he steps further inside and shuts the door behind himself. You narrow your eyes a little bit, lowering your eyes back to the files in front of you and refocusing on the conversation.

“Right…” You answer into the phone, “No, I understand that that species has become a vital part of the Harbor—...I understand, I’m not proposing that we—” It hurts you to press on, “I’m no longer proposing that we raise and restore those structures.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Oberyn still in his looking at your shelves; you see him tip his head back toward you, clearly listening in on your conversation. You clear your throat before you go on:

“But I would like to get a better look at a few of the objects along the sea floor in the area. I think they may’ve been uncovered by the most recent tide…Yes, I had a hydrographic survey done. The area I’m proposing to excavate along the floor is minimal in regards to the entire site, but I'd like to retrieve them before the next tide…I could run the survey down to you now...Yes. Thank you,” You hurry to hang up before you bend over your desk, hurriedly gathering your materials. You glance up as you feel Oberyn turn to face you fully.

“Is there something I could help you with? I’m sort of in a hurry.”

“I can see that,” Oberyn nods, “...The structure you won’t be raising, is that—”

“Yes,” Your answer is hurried and clipped. It’s not your ego that tells you that Oberyn has been keeping up with the dig—it’s how well you’ve come to know him, his fascination and love of Dorne’s history. That brings back that twisting feeling, and take in a deep breath, trying to rid yourself of it You stack the folders and files that you need and grab your bag, shifting it onto your shoulder.

“I gotta go,” You skim around the desk, “So—Sorry that you’ve wasted your time coming over here—”

“It wasn’t a waste—”

“Feel free to stay and to—to browse whatever books you like—”

Oheryn catches hold of your hand, stilling you, and you turn to look up at him, brow furrowed. He’s watching you with something that you can’t quite place—it seems too near concern, too close to something warmer, and you don’t want to read too far into that. “Take a moment for yourself,” He urges you, “Not now, but...Slow down, sweet—when you have time.” Maybe he doesn’t mean for the advice to irritate you; maybe it’s not just the urging, maybe it’s the softness of his expression—maybe you feel that the man has no right to look at you softly, with a concern that should be pointed at someone like Ellaria. You shake his grip off and reel away, slipping out of your office and into the hall. It isn’t fair—what does a man like Oberyn Martell know about time?

Tag list: @massivecolorspygiant ; @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo ; @recklessworry ; @paintballkid711 ; @peoniarose ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta ; @missredherring ; @writeforfandoms ; @grogusmum  ; @phoenixhalliwell ; @donnaa ; @natandtasha ; @quietpainter ; @acrossthestars ; @elen-aranel​ ; @letsfly-andbe-free​ ; @wonderlandgabby​ ; @amneris21​ ; @you-didnt-see-that-cuming​ ; @blueeyesatnight​ ; @ayamenimthiriel​ ; @librariantothejedi​ ; @revolution-starter​ ; @softdindjxrin​ ; @whovianayesha​ ; @youngkenobilove​ ; @emotionalsupportdaydreams​

[twoidiotwriters1]

Happy Birthday, Percy!

A/N: Hi, I know I haven't updated like before, but today is our two favorite Percy's birthday. Happy birthday to Percy Jackson and Percy Singh- Black. -Val

Words: 1,333

Masterlist:

Perseus

"Happy birthday, my star!" I hear my mother's voice as soon as she opens the door to my room. I smile against the pillow.

After a few seconds my bed sinks from the extra weight. My mother hugs and squeezes me . "Good morning, baby boy."

"Morning, mum..."

I turn to her and return the hug, I hide my face in her neck as she strokes my hair.

For as long as I can remember, at every start of our birthdays, we stay in bed until one of us gets hungry. We just hug, we talk about everything. Although every year my family’s dedicated to having a great party, my favorite parts have always been the mornings and evenings, when it's just me and my mother.

"You already need a haircut," She says, then gives my hair a light, playful tug, making me laugh. She moves away a little to see me.

"No, I like it this way, mum."

She laughs. "You're just like your dad."

Rarely does my mother tell me any details about my father with a smile. I try not to ask too much about him, I know it’s a painful subject for her.

"Did he like to have long hair?" I try with fear of making her uncomfortable.

She looks at me without erasing her smile.

“Oh, yes,” She laughs. “I remember when he had it at the level of his ears, it bothered him. Everyone told him that he had to cut it, but he was always doing the opposite. He grew his hair longer, sometimes I helped him style it."

I smile. "I want to do it too."

She looks at me with a raised eyebrow "Okay, I won't argue with you today just because you're the birthday boy," She jokes and then kisses my forehead. She sighs. "My baby’s 13 years old, I can't believe it."

I frown at her words "I’m no longer a baby."

"Oh no. None of that!” She complains. “It doesn't matter if you are fifty years old, you will always be my baby boy,” She says and then kisses my whole face tickling me.

"Okay! Okay! I get it!” I try to say between kisses and laughs. "Just don't do this in front of my friends."

"Oh honey. You underestimate me," She kisses my cheek again. "Let's have breakfast, darling."

***

"Happy Birthday, Paddie!" yells my Uncle James as he enters our house. He walks up to me and hugs me.

"Thank you, uncle James," I laugh in return.

"I can't believe they're both thirteen!" He sighs ending the hug. "In a blink and they'll ask me about girls!"

"As if you were a reliable source for that conversation, James," says my mother coming closer.

He looks at her offended.

"Sorry? I don't know if you noticed, but I got the girl of my dreams and we had a beautiful, blind son."

"After seven years begging her."

"What?" Harry asks coming out of his hiding place behind his father.

"I didn't know that," I add seeing my uncle blush.

“Don't listen to Persephone. I know a lot about girls—but why are we talking about girls? You’re still young. We brought you a gift, Percy!" My uncle stutters.

I laugh at the nervousness.

"It's a broom. Someone told me that you’re interested in Quidditch now, so I took the opportunity.” My uncle smiles, pointing to the broom that is leaning against the entrance.

"Wow! Thanks, uncle James, it's awesome!” I run to the broom to get a better look.

Behind me I hear him clear his throat. I turn to see him beckoning over to Harry who is complaining, but in the end he sighs and walks over to me.

"Happy birthday, Perseus."

"Thank you," I nod.

"How about a hug?" My uncle asks.

"No," Harry and I say at the same time and then walk away.

***

"I see they sent you gifts, Percy," says Jo sitting next to me on the couch.

I smile at her taking the presents from the table.

“Hermione sent me a storybook,” I give it to her “Mrs. Weasley knitted me a sweater with my initial on it,” I hold up the navy blue sweater. “Ginny gave me some candy. The twins sent something too, but I'm scared to open the box. I don’t trust them. Even Ronald sent this...” I tell her, handing her a long box.

"A quill?" She asks. I shrug.

"Surely his mother forced him to send something."

"And whose is this?" She asks taking a huge book.

I smile.

“From Erick, it's an astronomy guide. You know, stars, constellations and their relationship to the Greek gods. I've seen it before, but it was too expensive."

"Oh, but for a Flint that's not a problem, right?" She says raising an eyebrow.

"I suppose not."

"It seems there are people who love you after all, Percy," She jokes.

"What are you telling me? Don't you love your favorite cousin?" I pout. “I haven't received a gift from you.”

"It's because I only give gifts to the family that I like."

"Oh come on!" I complain leaving the joke.

"Stop crying, here," She says giving me a small box. I open it excitedly, but my smile disappears as soon as I remove the lid and several firecrackers scare me, causing me to throw it away.

What I hear next are the voices of adults concerned by the noise of the gift, my scream of horror, and Jo's uproarious laugh.

"What the hell, Jo!?" I screech looking at her.

"Fred and George knew that you weren't going to open their gift, so they asked me to help," She explains and then continues laughing.

"I hate you."

***

After a long day of visits and gifts from my family, the night finally arrives.

"Of all the things Harry and Jo could agree on, they decided to do it to push you towards the cake," My mother scoffs from the kitchen.

I complain as I pick up some toys my cousins ​​left on the ground.

"I still feel chocolate on my nose."

My mother laughs again. She comes out of the kitchen and we both meet on the couch in the living room.

"How was your birthday, my star?"

“It was great, Mom. Thanks."

"You don't just say it to make me happy, right?"

"Not this time," I joke and she lightly taps my shoulder. "I had a lot of fun and received good gifts."

"Oh, but mine is still missing," she says and then looks for something behind the couch. She pulls out a rather large box and sets it on my lap. "Happy birthday, Perseus."

"Wait, I thought your gift was the new clothes you left in my room?" I say confused.

"I couldn't resist giving you this too," She says smiling, but that smile is different. Her gaze changes.

I frown and open the box, removing the decorative paper to find a black leather jacket.

"Wow, mom, it's so cool!" I put the box on the couch and get up to put it on. The cold of the leather makes me shudder. By pulling it higher, I notice that I have plenty of room. It’s too large. "How do I look?"

She laughs. "It's still big, but you will grow into it."

I run to a mirror in the drawing-room.

"I look great."

"You like it?" My mother asks.

"I love it, thanks."

"It was your father's," She finally reveals causing me to stop.

"What? Really?" I ask surprised.

“Yes, he always used it. I was saving it for when you grew up."

Her eyes water. I return to my place beside her and take her hand. She touches my cheek lovingly.

"God, you are just like him..."

"Thanks for the gifts and for the party, Mom," ​​I say smiling at her.

"It’s a pleasure, my star."

I lean in to hug her and she strokes my hair.

Taglist:

@inkandpen22​ @dielgonacoffee​ @avipshamitra​ @auroraawrites​ @findzelda​ @lizlil​ @siriusmuch​  @chloe-geoghegan1​ @reverse-hxlland​ @may-rapp​   @the-specific-ocean​ @eveft​ @secret-obsessions​ @theeicedamericano​ @xkonpinkx​   @littledeadgirlwalking​ @hamiltonwc​  @treestarrrrrrrr​   @siriuslysirius1107​  @thagreenmoon​ @madmaiden2890​ @ren-ela​  @azura-mist​ @cedricisnotdead​ @letsfly-andbe-free​ @greengarsstuff​ @talksoprettyjjx​

[wanderingpages]

Omfg peach, I read the boom you read, the liars girl, OH MY GOD listen I hated Liz but I started to feel bad for her but at the end I still ended up hating her bc her literal last moments !!! Was still her being a THOT omfg I don’t wanna spoil bc there’s literally NO spoilers on any website I’ve checked, so I’ll just say at first I didn’t get the 10 years !!! It took for him to say something, but the last epilogue type chapter or whatever I was like ok I kinda get the ~repentance 😔 but am I toxic for thinking he deserves better lmao

Also omfg the main girl… her present day self…. I wanted to strangle her. The only time I was like YES FINALLY! Was when she told off Liz that one fucking time omg. But when her mom went off on her, I was like yes thank god someone said and she said it LOUD.

Was a good recommendation though hahah I needed something that was romance/fantasy/young adult. After being stuck in that section for so long it just feels nice to see what else is out there

Omg the spoilers lol, I was doing audible because baby, so I couldn’t skip to the end like I wanted to, like I wouldn’t know where to find what I’m looking for 😭😭 so I was dead on three different websites reading 2 star reviews (cus angry reviews spoil the most!) but still! Nothing!

Andb yeah Liz was….. lol, reminded me of one of my own friend some times 🙈 but it was good, it was fun, felt like watching CSI or Criminal minds lol

[unsoundedcomic]

How do you deal with the dissonance between the amounts of world building of the comic vs this blog? So much things are basically a given here are yet to appear andbe explained in the actual main body of Unsounded.

Well, most of the stuff on here never shows up in Unsounded. I don’t need to worry about it because it’s not relevant to that story. And much of what’s coming up in Unsounded hasn’t appeared here on Tumblr because, of course, no one knows about it!

Almost everything that’s shown up here has done so as an organic consequence of things people have seen in the comic, and wanted to know more about. Whether it’s silly things like Duane’s bottomless bag or how Duane and Jon met, to more consequential things, like Ssaelit eschatology. It’s very rare that I’ll talk about something wholly original to this space. This isn’t a good storytelling platform. And I can’t tell you how many questions I have to scroll past because they’re either spoilers or asking for info I don’t wanna share here first. I have deleted so many questions about Ssael :)

I suppose it’s my wish that anyone who follows this Tumblr has a deeper understanding of the comic, but that people who don’t, also have a perfectly coherent experience with the story. And from what people tell me, they do. Outside of the unavoidable issue of forgetting details because of the staggered delivery of a webcomic, people seem to be reading along fine. And whenever I get an email or a comment from a new reader who’s just done a full binge, they seem pretty with it. Even Russian language only readers who had no access at all to this space. Dusker (our translator) almost never wrote me needing clarification and seemed to be right on board. That was always reassuring. But Dusker was brilliant.

Anyway, this medium is difficult for this story. I have to be selective with what gets put on the page, and character-driving always has to be the main focus, not setting wankery. So a lot falls by the wayside.

Getting to share that here is fun, I think, but it’s by no means meant to be necessary to Unsounded. I stick to my outline.

[monzterzack]

Just a thought

I keep going on an on on different post about abuse, and about how my parents hurt me, and about how being around them makes me feel like shit

I can give examples of things they did unporpouse or unaware, I can talk all night about it

But you know, the worst part is that im not even sure if it's real

I mean it's real in the sense that it happened, but it feels unreal in the sense that im not sure if it's abuse

Everything gets clouded, what if this memory haves the lense of my perception, I keep been told I amplify the bad things, while ignoring the good ones

So much that I constantly scramble for the good ones to seem fair

But it's not fair

Never had been and never will be

I don't feel it's fair to call it abuse, not because I won't like to, I am begging for someone with authority to say "it is abuse" and finally have a veredict

But I feel bad, cause I have been raise to believe that if it's abuse it is also my fault,as part of the family, im not free of guilt, and it's my fault our life's are hell and it's my fault my own life is crumbling apart

I told my father that it wasn't fair that I had to juggle my appointments for therapy, cause of lack of money, it's not like I don't understand that if we don't have money I can't go to therapy, but it's so infuriating.... That always that I try to start therapy suddenly we ran out of money

That it's always my therapy sessions the ones that have to go, and that I should think about "the greater good"

They did this to me, and now that im at this point where I need help to just exist and wake up everyday .... Now im supposed to pay for it?, Now im supposed to fix it all by myself?

I didn't broke myself apart, and now im supposed to mend myself without help?

It is .... Frustrating, I keep been blamed by everything that has gone wrong with my life

If im fat it's cause I ate too much, if im I'll is cause I didn't took care of myself, if I break is cause I wasn't strong enough

Slap a smiley face on top of my depressed one, it's all I have to do, I gotta WANT to be happy, it's that easy

Except it's not

Except happiness terrifies me, cause I have learn with the stick and stones that happiness is just the begining of the storm

I keep trying to find someone to talk in town about it, someone that .... Will listen, and won't give me the "if u think ur parents are bad, wait until you met mine"

I don't care

I DONT CARE

It hurts now to me, it is hurting, and it's not like im saying im the one that haves it worst all the time, but hearing "your parents are so nice compared to mine" makes me feel like shit

Like im overreacting about everything, and I doubt myself, and I end up backpedaling, thinking "maybe it is my fault, I'll try to be better"

And each time I try to be better I just get slapped in the face by the reality

There is no better, at least not in here

I miss the good old days, but often I find myself thinking "but what were the good old days?" Cause there weren't any, everything is always clouded with fights and hurtful words, things that will be tattooed on my brain forever, things that just we're adding on and on, the refusal to let me live my life and try to keep me captive so I could be the best figurine of their games

And it's funny.... Cause now I just can't ask for help.... It feels bad, I grew up learning that if we had family problems they should stay in the family, no one else can know

And maybe its cause if others knew they will realize how fucked up our life's where

I so happen to find out by saying out loud things I was told constantly, things I was threatened with, things that were said on a daily basis, things that I tho where normal worries until I told them to someone outside of the circle

And they decided to tell my parents, and they made me cry thinking that if something bad where to happen to our so happy family, it will be my fault for not keeping the secrets

It's funny.... It's so fucking funny isn't it

Whenever I had an achievement it was theirs, they did this, they did me, they created me, and they were proud of the achievements I made, but it wasn't because of them, it was me, I was the one that made those achievements, they weren't the ones to help

But when it comes to my failures, suddenly that is all on me, my mistakes, my decaying health, then they didn't had anything to do with it, then it suddenly all my fault, for not being normal, for not being strong,for not doing what they wanted, for not being what they wanted

I want my childhood back, but I don't have found memories of my childhood to go back

I just want it but the truth is I didn't had a good childhood, between the family problems and my already sad social life, I didn't had a place to cover

It's sad.... Im sad .... Im sad all the time and there is nothing I can do about it

Cause now the idea of being normal like them terrifies me

I don't wanna be like them, I don't wanna be normal, THIS all is part of who I am and it's part of what makes me be me, and health and happiness feel like a trap and like I will lose myself entirely and end up being like them

And I don't want to ..... I don't wanna do this,I don't wanna grow old andbe like them

"you will understand what we did to you once u are and adult" THEN SHIT MAN I DONT WANNA BE AN ADULT

I don't wanna understand how someone can hurt someone so much that they would rather lose their mind to avoid how hurtful reality is

I don't wanna understand any of it, I prefer being naive the rest of my life than understanding why hurting others is good

Every year that passes it feels like a ticking bomb, every year im closer to being like them, to becoming like them,to do what they wanted and find sense in the shit they did to me

And every year I dread it more and more

I missed being genualy naive.... Thinking that the world works in blacks and whites, bad people are bad and good people are good

Now I gotta think how all bad people probably had damage or reasons to be bad

And how all good people can be toxic or abusive

It sucks, it truly sucks

I just want time to stop, so I can avoid fate, so I can be who I wanna be and not worry about the tomorrow, so I don't have to understand their sides anymore

I don't wanna understand, cause understanding means that they break me apart and made everything in my soul hurt cause they were hurt, and I had to take their pain and make it my own cause then I will be a good person for doing so

I wanna be a good person, I wanna be good and someone that can help

But taking all this pain, it was never an option, they just decided I was gonna be the one to take it

I didn't even got the chance to choose

And now.... I feel instead of taking it and Morphin it to something good ... It has infected me

I feel im not one person, it feels like im everyone of them inside me, and it sucks, cause the more I fight for my identity the more confused I get

Cause at the end im not a person,I was just the sponge they used to clean their shit

Im exhausted

[jjchantill]

Can you write about Harry beinng on a car trip with niall hailee and y/n, andb he gets carsick and cuddly on the way back?

Hey, love! Sorry, it took so long, I had one typed up but then my computer decided to be stupid and die and so it got deleted. So, I had to rewrite it. It’s not super cuddly but I really like the little scene at the end. Anyway, I hope you like it! All the love-Jess

You and Hailee laugh as Harry and Niall belt out the lyrics to Youngblood. The four of you were on your way home from a small road trip. Normally, it would just be you and Harry but after the two of you learned that Niall and Hailee were free, you had insisted on inviting them. Harry happily agreed at the chance to see an old friend again. Thus, the four of you took a small five-day journey to a little music festival and hung out. The trip consisted of you all sleeping in the VW van you borrowed from a friend of yours, eating strange foods, and listening to great music. Five days later, you guys had no choice but to head back since you all had to get back to work.

“Hey, can we stop for some snacks? I’m freaking starving,” Hailee says.

“And where do you suppose we get these snacks? In case you haven’t noticed we are driving through the middle of the desert,” Niall says.

“There has to be a gas station or something nearby,” she says.

You grab the map at your feet before opening it, “I’ll check the map.”

You are about to tell Harry that there is a gas station a few miles up the road when Harry suddenly pulls the van over. Without saying a word, he quickly gets out of the van and pukes up his breakfast burrito. You grab some napkins and make your way to Harry’s side once he’s finished.

“You okay?” you ask.

He shakes his head and you hand him the napkins. He wipes his face before slowly lowering himself down to the ground.

“I don’t feel so good.”

“You don’t look so good either, maybe Niall should drive us the rest of the way.”

“No, I can do it. Just…just give me a minute,” Harry huffs.

He groans again, quickly covering his mouth and swallowing the bile back down.

“Told you, I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” you say.

Hailee and Niall jump out of the van and make their way over to the two of you.“Everything okay?” Hailee asks.

“Harry’s car sick,” you say, gesturing to your boyfriend.

“I’m not. I just got a little woozy.”

Niall grimaces, “a little, mate. It looks like you regurgitated your breakfast back up plus whatever you had last night.”

“I’m fine, just help me up mate,” Harry says.

Niall helps Harry stand up and Harry groans, his cheeks puffing out again.

“Here, take them. I need to lie down,” Harry says, tossing Niall the keys.

You, Niall, Hailee, and Harry get back in the van with Niall and Hailee in the front seat and you and Harry in the back. Harry lays his head down in your lap and you run your fingers through his hair repeatedly as Niall gets back on the road. Eventually, you get distracted and stop playing with his hair. Harry, who is asleep groans in his sleep before taking his hand and moving yours back to his hair. Smiling down at him, you laugh before continuing to play with his hair as Niall drives you guys the rest of the way home.

[pastelpendant]

pretty boyss like me dont need to thibk

just need to serve and submit

just need to obeyy and do as im told

obedience is pleasure and pleausre is obedience

nothing but obedienc3

nothing but pleasure

blan k mindless bliss

nothing but You an d Your words and Your control

i love veing Master's mindless toyy

jusr showint everyone how easy and weak and submissive i sm to Your words

deeper and deoer andb deeper nd deeper and deeoer andbdeeper and deeper and deepr and deeper

It feels so good to show that off, doesn’t it~?

It’s just so right

Master’s mindless toy

Pen’s pretty boy

A plaything for Me to tease and display for everyone to see

So they know just how powerful I really am

And you’re a remarkable display 💞

[vocaotome]

I'm so pissed after finishing Zero time dilemma (ZTD spoilers)

First of all, it completely ruined the characterization of Junpei whom I loved

Junpei from game 1: desperately tries to go back and screams when one of their group members (snake) is about to die struggling with a villain, even though he couldn't because the area was about to catch fire one of their other group members (seven) literally had to knock him out to save him from sacrificing himself (note that he has known all of these people only for 9 hours)

Junpei from game 3: gleefully laughs when 6 of their group members died because it meant he and 2 others were free to leave???

apparently between game 1 and 3 he joined a detective agency and saw a lot gory stuff and terrible people and it changed him 

I'm like that's not how it works fam

that's nowhere enough to justify that extreme a change

he’s so fundamentally different that he’s not even the same character anymore???

I saw ppl whining about Akane being too girly and stuff and not the mastermind she is but I thought she was better than Junpei in this regard. Sure, there were some times where she felt a bit off but it was not nearly as bad as Junpei’s case. And her valuing human life is not OOC like many claim, she doesn’t want to hurt innocents if she can avoid it. Being pragmatic andbeing  a good person isn’t exclusive, and ppl who claim otherwise are trying too hard to be edgy.

I don’t like how the SHIFT mechanism has evolved in the last 2 games tbh, it is making less and less sense with time and the multiverse theory makes everything we do so useless tbh. If the “bad future”s still exist, then is it really worth it to stage these nonary games that result in one nice timeline at the expense of countless tragedy filled ones? I liked how in 999 we could assume that the only true timeline was the one where Junpei saves Akane in the incinerator and the rest were just “possibilities” that didn’t actually happen, but the introduction of SHIFTING mechanism in VLR made that assumption invalid. Still, it was more or less well executed so I didn’t mind it as much. But ZTD has made SHIFTING a cheap and lazy answer to everything and I don’t really care for it anymore.

Also the “twist” at the end about Q’s identity was so un-foreshadowed god. They did show us some flashbacks to some scenes hat apparently were supposed to be foreshadowing but those were nearly not enough IMO. You cannot freaking 999 was the best at the foreshadowing stuff, VLR gave too much away and ZTD didn’t reveal enough hints.

I can nitpick more about 9230647938310 other things, but I’m feeling hungry and need to go eat, so I’ll end this with one last complaint

Alien dna copying machine??? That’s the cheapest plot device I’ve seen in a long time wow

[knightofbalance-13]

Welcome to Reality

http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/165307951521/is-remnant-stupid

How many times are we gonna go over this?

First, let’s do the big stuff.

Almost all of which will bite you in the ass.

All abusers should not exist. They shouldn’t exist in the real world, but the reason they shouldn’t exist in Remnant is because abuse breeds resentment, fear, sadness, and hurt. Emotions that we are told would attract grimm. Why would an abuser do this if the risk of a giant murder bird coming in to eat you is likely?

Because Grimm would hunt down the people being abused and the abusers are psychopaths so they aren’t a target. Likewise, why should they abuse someone when they could get killed in their sleep? because human beings and our reality isn’t rational so why should Remannt be any more rational than our world?

Racism shouldn’t exist. Much like abusers, it really shouldn’t exist in the real world, but in this world, racism would breed resentment, fear, sadness, envy, and hatred. Why do that if doing that to an entire minority race would cause a giant armored gorilla to come by and rip you in half Mortal Kombat style?

Why would you devalue someone because of their skin color in real life? Because you’re irrational and things like that don’t apply to irrational people.

Shrinks should be more valued than Hunters. I mean, it would be better to PREVENT the grimm from coming in the first place with some good psychology rather than having a bunch of glorified exterminators kill them off? What, do these guys not understand what attracts grimm? I’d rather have my emotional issues be solved rather than have it build up so that a two-headed snake can try to digest me.

Because Grimm are only ATTRACTED to negative emotions and they’ll still attack people. Not to mention Shrinks don’t always work and people won’t always admit to having problems or needing a shrink despite the emotional problems this will cause because PEOPLE ARE NOT RATIONAL, especially the people you are explaining.

Now for the little stuff.

Which will bit you the ass even moreso. Yes, it is possible.

Cardin would have been morally right if he had just outed Jaune from the beginning. Jaune’s lack of experience and competence is not only putting himself in danger, but his whole team as well. I don’t give a shit if he’s a “Good Tactician™” or whatever, but Jaune’s lack of combat abilities would get him and his team killed sooner rather than later. Instead, Cardin bullies Jaune, which leads me back to my rant on how this would breed resentment yadda yadda yadda You know the drill by now

Of course: Everyone not Jaune right, Jaune wrong. Excluding the fact that the same can be said for Ruby and her reckelssness and her immaturity and her lack of experience and amplified by her sister Yang being around as well as her uncle and especially her father constantly worrying about them being killed like SUmmer but I don’t hear you saying that at any point.

Jaune is in the wrong for melting that stuff down to upgrade himself. Instead of going to my usual tirade though, I have a screenshot of how I perceived Jaune’s actions that’s from another post of mine here.

I also have a post I cvan reference (http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/163800343229/i-hate-jaune) proving any opinion you have on Jaune is disbarred due to bias against him personally and any opinion on any male characters disbarred due to sexism.

Follow-up Question: Why does nobody think about Pyrrha’s parents?

Because if they are so stupid to have lost all of their daughter’s stuff while she was gone, so selfish they sold it or so blind they didn’t think to keep anything then they don’t really deserve it.

Qrow calls his own niece either “a Liar, Crazy, or both” when she was tricked into kneecapping Mercury. Real Uncle of the year material there, Qrow. What’s next? - You use your other niece as bait for a deadly agent of Salem - Oh wait that actually happened. Why are the adults all assholes in this world?

A. He was stating teh proof that was there and there is no otehr rational explanation.

AndB. He clearly didn’t know about Tyrian. Although has a dick so it should be obvious you would try to portray as bad.

Ironwood doesn’t take Weiss into child custody. He’s seen what pressure Weiss is under in her own home. Winter has surely told him about what Jacques does to them to keep the family under his thumb. Why doesn’t he take action? - He has two seats on the council, it shouldn’t take that long, and considering that child abuse might breed negative emotions… Well, you saw my comments about abuse earlier in this post.

Except Jacques is the richest man in Mistral and there is nothing saying that Ironwood has authority over child services and if he failed, Weiss’ abuse gets worse. Also, how does Ironwood know? He has never been in the same room as when Weiss and Jacques talk, Jacques is subtly abusive in public and people don’t exactly talk upfront about this.

Ozluminati sends the drunkard whose semblance is BAD LUCK to guard a person of importance. Was Ozpin TRYING to get Amber killed? I mean, you can’t have a person with super speed to guard Amber so that if she gets in trouble, the guard can rush in to save them? You can’t have a sniper keep watch from a distance, and pick off opponents who would kill her? Why the drunkard whose semblance is the causation of bad luck to those around him?

A. Because Glynda is teaching in one of the most, Ozpin is running a school, Ironwood is running a school AND a miltary and Leo is runn9ing a school. Qrow literally has the most time.

B. Who is this person with super speed? Can they be trusted? Are they stronger than Qrow? Can a sniper be trusted and would a sniper be effective due to Aura? See, you don’t answer YOUR questions.

C. Wow Dudeblade, I thought you were critical bt you’ll take Qrow haing bad luck at face value when any evidence for this is cirtcumstantial at best? ALmost like you only do it to bitch about it.

Winter should have taken Weiss away from Jacques. Winter knows full well what her father can and will do to Weiss. Why doesn’t SHE take Weiss away from Jacques? She’s got the power to do so! She’s a legal adult, she has a high rank in the military, she can afford Weiss’ living expenses! Why can’t Winter help out her sister? Is she selfish or something?

Because Jacques is richer, more powerful in a legal systemn, could manipulate Winter since he also abused her and Winter has nio proof. You know, like how child abuse works in real life.

Why didn’t Ilia just pass “Color Change” as her semblance? - It probably wouldn’t have been that hard,and she could have offhandedly mentioned that maybe, a faunus once saved her life once when she was younger so that she could have an excuse to sympathize with them? - This makes no sense at all as to why she couldn’t have kept her cover better. For a chameleon, she does an awful job of blending in.

No, you just don’t pay attention: You cannot accidentally activate a Semblence and Illa’s color change is inherent in CHAMELOENS as a sign of EMOTION: This shit isn’t a Quirk, stop acting like it is.

Why do Raven and Qrow play the Pronoun Game? All Qrow had to say was either “Yes” or “No” to Raven’s question,and she would have answered his. But no. Mr. “I’m using my niece as bait” has to try to take the moral high ground over Raven and lecture her about ‘family’ and crap. While, y’know, USING RUBY AS BAIT!

A. You’re lying and trying to paint a MASS MURDERER as a good guy.

B. Raven was also dancing around teh subject and used her own daughter as leverage and unlike you, I can provide proof in the fact that Raven never visits Yang, outright spat in her face and only pressed Yang when she could be used to control Qrow.

C. So...why aren’t you criticizing Raven for mass murdering people and abusing her daughter? Let me guess: She has a vagina and thus your sexist ass ignores her.

RNJR doesn’t take any kind of transport to Mistral because of reasons. Despite the fact that they’re trying to get to Mistral ASAP to warn them. And since Ren and Nora decided to NOT say something like “Hey, this place is dangerous, we should find a different way around or get through as quick as we can.” Then they waste a bunch of minutes against the Nucklevee. With his stupid noodle arms, and ability to make buildings and other structures relocate themselves. Maybe that’s how it killed other, more experienced hunters. Whenever one of them found cover, Nucky would use it’s structure relocation powers and make that cover disappear.

A. https://youtu.be/IZKpkzPIRlw?t=16m42s

B. Trama nor is it shown that the Nucklevee was near by until it was heading towards Kuroyuri and they were informed about the Nucklevee.

C. ANy proof it can do that? Becuase not only is this a baseless accusation, this has no point in what you are saying. Of course, peopel could give you teh benefit of the doubt...but between your apparent sexism and you’re lying: It’s safe to assume you said this because the writer’s are male and you wanna put in Ad Hominin.

Salem only sends one goon after the dreaded “Silver-Eyed Warrior.” She has a guy who gave her a tough time when all he was doing was stalling, a person who can alter one’s perception, a bunch of other fighters, and an army of grimm at her beck and call. Goddamn villain stupidity.

A. Gee, not like they killed those so called “dreaded” warriors before...

https://youtu.be/IZKpkzPIRlw?t=3m45s

Huh, almost like you ignore facts to suit your narrative.

B.  What other fighters? Mercury and Emerald would be fucked against RNJR due to their new abilities, everyone else is doing their own work: What “fighters” are you referring to? And the Grimm? Why not wlak up to Ozpin and his allies and say “HERE”S THE TRHEAT I’M TRYING TO ELIMINATE”?

C. Yeah...this is just like getting a hold of the world’s most powerful warrior, having her in the palm of your hand and the  not doing anything Oh wait, Korra did that. ALl the fucking time. And I do believe that in Storm Hawks, Piper has let t5he main villianess go due to their bonds before.Yeah, almost like youy are setting an unaturally high bar for RWBY.

Darwin. Award.

Every single person in Remnant is gunning for a Darwin Award. Like, only our ‘main’ protagonists are somewhat smart, and even then, Blake thinks that just putting on a disguise is going to distract from the fact that she shares the same last name as a previous WF leader.

Everyone on Remnant is an idiot.

Just like our world where the examples you pull exist here. And whil;e you can point at Grimm, I can point at Dust and Aura and the three would counterbalance each other. So Remnant is no more unrealistic than our world with the same flaws and the same actions. ALmost like humans can’t remove themselves from their own experiences and being is the ENTIRE POINT OF A SHOW.

God, no wonder you suck at writing: You’re too obsessed with faulty logic.

Either that, or the writers are making this up as they go along. But that would be insulting the original writers. And we can’t be critical of people who are ‘trying.’

Yeah, lying and being sexist and being bias and setting unnatural high standards and ignoring facts is not being critical. My proof: This entire post.

[becauseliteraturethatswhy]

When you were an undergrad, how did you cope with all your reading? I've just started uni and you're kinda my inspiration but I'm struggling to balance my reading for my essays, different reading for my classes as well as making room for socialising. Do you have any advice?

Thank you !! I’m happy to hear that my blog inspires you; I can’t believe it’s been nearly four years since I was inspired by some of the blogs I still follow today to pursue my own dreams of studying English 😊 

Advice wise: the first thing I had to learn was how to effectively manage my time andbe aware of what was due when – I was (and still can be at times) a terribleprocrastinator and would be tempted to push some of my reading assignmentsuntil the day before it was due, or even a few hours before! Needless to say, thisreally doesn’t work!! Something that really worked and helped me keep upwith everything I needed to do was sitting down and writing up a big to-do liston Sunday evenings that would lay out exactly which assignment I wanted to workon, and when during the week, based on when the assignment was due and anyother activities I had that week. So if I had a meeting to go to or knew I wasgoing to hang out with my friends on Wednesday evening, I’d try to do a littleextra reading the day before so I’d have open time for socializing that nextday. One semester my second year, I had two classes on MWF but four on Tuesdaysand Thursdays – so you can be sure I did most of my reading and writing onMWF!! It was always nice to have a break to socialize, especially after a longday of four busy classes, and I wouldn’t have to worry about my assignments ifI knew I’d done them the day before. Even if this meant I needed to finishreadings or assignments a couple days early (which seemed really out ofcharacter to my naturally-procrastinating self), it definitely helped mebalance both my assignments and socializing most of the time.

Of course, being aware of when things are due, or how long it will taketo read a novel or article is really important too, so you can schedule outyour time effectively. Knowing your limits and reading pace is super crucial tobeing able to figure out how much you’ll be able to achieve on any givenafternoon (if you’re able to stay focused and keep away from distractions likeYoutube, Tumblr, or Netflix, that is! 😂)  Something that was really helpful to me concerningthis was breaking up my reading in manageable chunks; if I knew I needed toread 3 20-page articles for my seminar on Friday (but would definitely loseinterest or motivation after just one), I’d try to read one on Mon., anotherTues., and the last Weds. or Thurs., depending on how busy I was working onstuff for my other classes. Sometimes professors will try to do this for you,especially in English courses, where they’ll assign chapters or page numbers,which is nice, but I took a lot of courses for my British Studies minor where I’djust be expected to have read an entire book by a certain date. It absolutelyhelped to assign myself chunks of a chapter or two at a time, so I could figureout approximately how long it would take me to read the book.

It took me awhile to develop a system that really worked for me to balance my assignments and time to hang out with my friends (and get a much-needed break from all the reading) but once I figured it out, it all became so much easier! Hopefully some of this advice will be helpful for you - good luck with uni! 😊

[cake-of-awesome]

im in a very bad state right now , i dont want to talk to anyone, but ruminating wont help anything either so im just going to write all of my anxieties down and see how that goes

for the past few weeks i feel emotionally haywired. like im short circuiting or something. i have emotions, i know i have emotions, i can express emotions, but its like im expressing emotions without really knowing what im expressing or why, or expressing them waaaay out of line.

like, i went to the movies today and there was a local commercial before the movie previews, it had a baby smiley,  and i wanted to sob right then and there, there was nothing sad about the baby, nothing was wrong with the baby or anything bad was going to happen, but i wanted to sob at the smiling baby

i alternate between coming off as sarcastic or condescending to coworkers, being super angry and defensive whenever my mom speaks to me to just not feeling anything at all, being unfocused, having a hard time motivating myself to do anything at all and just

basically feeling too many emotions to nothing at all and its so stressful

my only guess is that this is another hormonal surge, and that i’ll probably have a period again sometime next week

which ok, thats fine, or not, honestly i should do some research into birth control and actually learn what the hell it does in terms of dealing with hormones

but, big picture wise, i should ALSO be going back to therapy. i NEED to do this yet i still dont, and its realy hurting me, i know i should, i know it can help me with identifying my emotions and learning better coping methods in properly expressing them rather than bottling them up or letting them run loose, i know it can help me rewire my brain so that im not always thinking so black and white all the time too

yet i dont

i need to admit that part of me just hates doctors. that i have anxiety dealing with them and clinics, i need to admit i do have somewhat of a fear of it since having cancer and having to deal with all of those visits

im so programmed to just saying yes to anything that goes on just so i wont stay there any longer, which is so incredibly hurtful in so many ways. i know i can do better

but the one time i did end up being truthful to my therapist and saying yes!!! i do think about killing myself every!!! single!!! day!!! i almost got thrown in psych ward. i dont want to go in there. i cant go in there. i know it can help and get me the meds i need but god i dont want to go back into the hospital please

but i need help. but the longer i put it off the more anxiety i have about coming back, having to answer questions on why i didnt make an appointment for 5 months now

i mean sure part of it its because i hate talking on the phone, that the only time i can call is either when im at work, cause they close right when i get out and arent open util an hour after im in work

part of me also gets anxious talking with my therapist, the topic of gender comes up a lot since during the first sesson i said iddnt know and it makes me really anxious cause fuck??? i dont know. i barely have a construct of an identity as a person, much less a gender. 

i feel like my entire identity is an outline of a person, the kind you draw on paper like how you outline your hand and the inside of the hand is all hollow and the outside is just as blank

i dont know, i dont know anything and i dont want to talk about this, at least not yet

but i also dont want to say anything either cause i just want to get out of there as soon as possible

i also feel like a lonely loser spilling my beans (or a select few beans since i constantly lie while in those sessions)

like everytime i go in there i realize just how lonely i am, i dont have many RL friends to hang out with, and those that i do i never have big conversations , our relationship is the lazy kind where we’re only friends bc we used to be in the same highschool or we’re cousins somehow or w/e

i wish i had someone i could hang out with on a regular basis and have those deep conversations and feel valid for whats going on, but thats on me, im the lazy one who never goes out to meet new people or tries to keep up with friendships and make sure that they thrive

if i want those kinds of relationships i need to get out there and be vunerable, be open, stop bing afraid of getting hurt or not being understood or rejected, adult relationships are a lot harder to maintain than in school, cant rely on classes and lockers to build a friendship, i need to put in effort to maintain a connection with others

but its so much effort, and so frustration when my invites are rejected bc one person has to work at night and another is busy planning a wedding or graduating or whatever

its no wonder i’ve relied on internet friendships to maintain a semblance social life. its easy and convenient, and always there.... which means the anxiety of being out of the loop due to working long hours and that people are only putting up with me because i’m there and can be easily replaced if i m too much of an ass, is always there too

I cant let this anxiety control my life and relationships though, real life or online. people are social creatures and at the end of the day most people just want to have a good time and not have any drama, and most likely, so long as i try to be a decent person who respects others things will be okay

and part of being a decent person is having empathy and sympathy

if im this stressed out, im never going to be able to pick up on what other people are feeling and connect to what they’re going through

which means being in tune with my emotions, knowing what im feeling and knowing when to express them and how intense to express them

i know therapy can help with this, and i know calling is scary, and making an appointment and going to an appointment is just as bad. but if i want to get better andbe a better person that means doing scary things

maybe i can write down some bullet points from this  post and bring it next time i go in and see how that goes

[moth208]

had a nother terrible fucking nightmare lads!

[5:59:59 AM] moth: i dont know why i am so fucking cursed to have endless nightmares [6:00:18 AM] moth: hahahhahaha just had one of the worst if not THE WORST ive ever had [6:01:01 AM] moth: i specificially asked myself, to mabye give me a fucking break. to give me something nice. i specifically though t about good things ebfore passing out [6:02:56 AM] moth: what do i get? a dream about some political fucking movement joke or whatever, smoe dick named JET, getting raped by josh again twice, and the thought that maybe , JUST MAYBE, you havebeen josh this entire time! [6:03:33 AM] moth: woudns stupid right ? its fucking TERRIFYING i dont understadn why i keep having these fucking dreams i dont understnad why i have them every fucking night every fucking time i sleep [6:04:00 AM] moth: melatonin used to make me not dream at all! what happened to dthat! [6:04:28 AM] moth: is it the dopamine pills? it hasto be right? right? right? whtas the other explanation i dont know i need it to stop i cant keep having these over andoverand over [6:05:49 AM] moth: in this dream we were moving inthis tiny ass rv-van thing adn miitu and jayjay were kittens again nthat needed to be bottlefed and they were about to die i think jayjay DID and my computer fell like 3 times the sameexact way 3 time and it was completely fucked up so i had no computer [6:06:24 AM] moth: my quilt got shredded my teeth started to fall out hmy hair got too long jenny wasnt anywhere to fucking be seen after my computer got trashed [6:06:51 AM] moth: adn im not going to g o into too much detail about the Wrost [6:06:53 AM] moth: Partl [6:07:29 AM] moth: becuase i feel like im about to throw up but i ended up having to tell EVERYBODY adn no one fucking believed me and i went on my phone to tell you and this stupid fuciking political meme. this [6:07:33 AM] moth: this JOKE or somtethng [6:07:52 AM] moth: it was EVERYWHERE i dont even knowwhat it was it was like a sticker and it was red andb lack and [6:08:32 AM] moth: you were using it too and i tol d you stop and you were like "why jet uses it "WHO THEfuck is jet why is everoen talking about him who is that i dont know but now i have to see this [6:09:48 AM] moth: IMAGE or sometmhing every where and be REMINDED of what happened EVER single stime and it was like. a signal. some kind of secret message i dont know. and it got me so scared.adn josh kept acting like he knew everything about me like it wwas black mail if i didnt do what he wanted and i tried to hide my phone and it didnt work and evereything just kept falling apart [6:09:55 AM] moth: and then i woke up .

[topicprinter]

Hi, my name is Afif Ghannoum and I’ve launched over 13 consumer products that have been sold in 27,081 stores across the US. I've also launched an ecom brand that does seven figures in the supplement space.I’m a co-inventor on two patents and I’ve licensed technology to a big pharmaceutical company through a royalty deal for a product that is sold in tens of thousands of stores in the Unites States and Canada.I’ve also raised over $17 million in investor capital for my various companies.I’m often asked how I went about raising that amount of capital, so I figured I would share.I don't sell a program or anything (I still run my companies), I've had people help me out along the way, so this is part of my pay it forward.Let’s get to the good news upfront….You Really Don’t Need a Lot of Capital Upfrontbut here’s the thing…You don’t necessarily need that much capital to get through a large part (if not all) of the product launch process.Part of this is going to depend on the type of product you’re creating.If it’s a specialty chemical (like a skin cream, car wax, mouthwash, etc.), it’s typically extremely cheap to get a prototype product together.I’m talking a few dollars a unit (which will get even cheaper when you buy in bulk).One option is to purchase the ingredients yourself and do your own formulation, which has become a lot easier in the internet age. You can purchase in quantities ranging from a small order to entire truckloads. You can even have products private labeled for just a few hundred bucks.Point being, for literally less than $100, you could easily start creating and launching a brand of products.But even when you’re past the “launch” stage, you can often sell a product to a retailer with just a prototype in hand.I’ve actually sold major retailers on just a concept of a product with only mock up packaging to share.So the big takeaway upfront is: “I can’t afford to launch my own product” may have been true just a few years ago, but it’s just simply not the case nowadays.YOU WILL (LIKELY) EVENTUALLY HAVE TO RAISE MONEYWith that being said…even though you can get pretty far down the road to launching a product with a relatively low budget…sooner or later you’re likely going to have to invest capital to make sure you’re able to grow and scale your product.In fact, even once you’re in market, you may still have to invest significant capital in your business.I’ll give you a quick personal example….With one of our biggest launches, our product won “Best New Product” of the year. An award that was especially meaningful (and important), because it was awarded by 100 of the largest retailers in the country.The result?We instantly got distribution in over 20,000 stores…..GREAT NEWS RIGHT!?Yes….and no.Yes, because obviously we were getting mass distribution right off the bat with everyone from Walmart, Target & CVS, all the way down to local independent pharmacy stores.We were also getting a ton of publicity.No, because the downside to instantly getting that much distribution with such high profile retailers was that we had to be able to produce over a half a million units in a matter of months.We also had to pay for a national television, print, and digital advertising campaign in order to support all that distribution.So while we had raised a substantial amount of funding up to that point, and had money in the bank from sales of other products etc., it was clear we were going to have to raise A LOT more money in order to make sure we could comfortably pay for all of the expenses headed our way.Well thankfully, I put our fundraising process to work, and we were able to raise millions from investors over a few months and were off to the races with our national product launch!HOW I RAISE MONEYNow you may be saying, “Afif, that’s great, but I don’t have a financing background, I’ve never raised any money and I don’t have any venture capital relationships, so I don’t think I can raise money.”Well when I started, I had never raised money, I didn’t have a financing background, and not a venture capital connection in sight.How?The analogy I like to use is that I like to take the Obama approach to fundraising (this is nothing to do with politics…just fundraising…everyone relax).Basically, when Obama was running for President in 2008, he was up against the Republicans’ giant fundraising machine made up of a Who’s Who of America’s wealthiest families and political donors.While Obama eventually got those guys on board as well, he started out by reaching out to every day people and basically saying, “I don’t care if you can only spare $5, if you’re willing to donate it, I think it’ll make a difference.”And slowly but surely those small figures amounted to a TON of capital. Along the way he also added big dog investors, and we all know how the story ended.That’s sort of how it went for our company.At first, it was friends and family, some of whom put in just a few thousand dollars, and slowly, as we continued to make progress, we raised a substantial amount of money and attracted very large angel investors.Point being, you do NOT need any experience, background or connections to successfully raise money for your product and business.You just need a strategy and a process you will stick to.THE TOUGHEST PART OF RAISING FUNDINGNow before we get into the meat of the strategy for raising money, it’s incredibly important to address the three toughest parts of raising money:AttitudePerseverance, andBeing AND STAYING organizedATTITUDEWith attitude, you MUST be willing to reach out to people, and ultimately, you have to ASK them to invest in you.Trust me, it’s very difficult when you first start asking (especially when someone says no, and they will), but you have to do it.No one will do it for you.Over time it gets easier, and the quicker you realize that some people are just never going to invest, the easier it gets.PERSEVERANCEWhich brings me to perseverance. Even when someone says yes, you’re likely going to have to follow up several times to get the paperwork signed and ACTUALLY receive their money.It can sometimes take months of following up with someone until they finally come on board and even then it can take a while to receive their funding.Not because they’re just being purposely slow or blowing you off, but sometimes investors have to get things organized on their end to get the money in place and to feel comfortable with your fundraising documents.It’s also about taking the extra steps that no one wants to do…Like asking someone who invests (or even someone who doesn’t) if they know of anyone else who may be interested, and making the effort to follow up with the people they introduce you to.In fact, almost HALF the money I’ve raised has come through asking and following up with referrals from my investors.Trust me, it is a lot easier to convince someone to invest in your company if someone they know and trust has already decided to invest with you.In fact, just getting a meeting with a potential investor can often come down to whether you come to them through a personal contact.STAYING ORGANIZEDNow, all of the attitude and perseverance in the world is meaningless if you don’t stay incredibly well organized.It’s as simple as keeping a spreadsheet with the name, contact information and status of each and every possible investor, and then following up with each one, again, and again, and AGAIN until they either say they’re in or they’re out.I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to stay organized.See, the critical thing you must remember is…when you take other people’s money, it is now your OBLIGATION to make sure you are on top of all the details of their investment.It’s beyond the scope of this post (and I promise I’ll cover this in detail in a subsequent one), but you’ve got to have a simple but robust system in place for staying on top of potential investors, investor paperwork, updating investors, investor equity holdings etc.I won’t harp on it, but you’ve got to bring your A Game when it comes to staying organized.THE 8 STEP STRATEGY TO RAISING MONEYOk, so let’s get right into the strategy…If you are going to have any success in raising money for your company, you must create a compelling fundraising story.It’s not enough to just tell them about your product and how amazing it is.That’s important…but that’s not going to shake a dollar loose from anyone.You have to realize, when people are investing in your company and product, they are investing IN YOU.Sure you’re product is important, but if investors don’t have confidence in you and (probably more importantly), the confidence that you have your act and strategy together, you’re likely going to have a hard time raising money.Sophisticated investors have a saying for this: “Back the jockey, not the horse.”So, how do you create a story around not only your product but yourself as well?By creating a fundraising story that covers the following 8 components:You (what’s your background, why can YOU be successful)Your company’s backgroundHow you’re going to get the product madeThe logistics surrounding the whole product sales distribution processHow and where you’re going to sell the productHow you’re going to scale upThe pathway to being a success (ergo make money)Terms of the investment dealTELLING YOUR STORY THROUGH A FUNDRAISING PRESENTATION“Ok great Afif, thanks for the quasi-informative general outline of a compelling fundraising story, but how do I ACTUALLY share that story with potential investors”?I’m glad you asked, because it’s actually pretty simple!You tell your fundraising story by putting together a ten to fifteen slide presentation that is visually driven (I like to use a lot of pictures), and a couple of sentences on each slide that you can speak to.I like my presentation to cover the following topics:General Overview of the CompanyHow you got startedhow long you’ve been aroundWho is running the companybrief background bioWho are your vendors, suppliers, sales team, logistics details – show them how you and everyone involved has the ability to MAKE THIS HAPPENYour MarketDetails on the size of the market, how big, other products out thereGap you see in the marketThe problem that isn’t yet solved for consumersIntroduce your productFirst you have a TADA! Slide that only shows your product with “Introducing [Name of your product] with a glory picture of your productNext are details on your product. For example, “___ is the first product that does ______” and maybe have a simple visual comparison chart showing how it stands out against others in the marketA slide or two about any traction you have, or the progress you’ve made to date – e.g. “In only two months, we’ve sold over 2000 units through farmers’ markets alone” or “Already have distribution in 100 regional stores” or “Prototype has been created and ready to be commercially manufactured with distributors standing by”Any other specifics you have like testimonials, sales dataMove forward strategyYour plans for new distribution, how you’re going to promote and market the productHow the brand could be expanded down the lineWhat’s the opportunityWhat have other brands in your space been sold for (e.g. Brand X sold for three times revenue)The Investment OfferWhat are you offering for their investment (e.g. The company is raising $100,000 in preferred shares at a pre-money valuation of $1,000,000)Plans for Using Investment FundingHow are you going to use the money you raise?Investors want to understand how their money is going to make the company make significant progressLay out your plans simplyThat’s it!…That’s how I like to approach putting an investor presentation together.Keep Your Presentation Crisp & CleanIt’s very tempting to cram your presentation with every detail you can think of…DON’T DO THAT! Always error on the side of making your presentation look clean and crisp.The goal of your presentation is for each slide to highlight a few critical points that you can talk to as you go over the presentation with a potential investor…so at the end of your discussion, the investor has a solid OVERVIEW of your company and the investment you’re offering.If they’re interested in moving forward, trust me, there’ll be plenty of opportunities to delve into the nitty gritty details once you’ve set the hook and gained their interest in investing.LEGAL CONSIDERATIONS – BORING BUT CRITICALNow one quick final note that is critical! I’m not going to get into the weeds on this here…but it’s important to at least point it out.In order to raise money, you should hire an experienced lawyer to prepare the appropriate paperwork required for accepting investor funding.Not your uncle Lou that does divorce law “but knows a thing or two about investments.”I mean a lawyer with direct experience in creating investor documents.Don’t skip this step! It’s important you have your legal ducks in a row, and it gives investors confidence that you’re going about things the right way. It’s one more factor that adds to your credibility.GET GOING!So that’s it! That's my strategy for raising money that’s helped me raise over $17 million in investor funding.As with most things in life, the devil’s in the details, so sit down, get yourself organized and start putting your compelling fundraising story together!If I can do it having never done it before, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to as well, especially with the head start this post should give you in the process.Best of luck!