#i just think Wednesday still having Joel as a friend would be cool

[ahegao-seagull]

hear me out

yknow how kids give eachother nicknames and they just stick around for years? that but in Wednesday!

so AU where Addams Family Values does happen, Wednesday met Joel, they had a mini romance but after a little bit they just decided to be friends. obviously they don't see eachother often but their nicknames of 'Cara mia' and 'Mon cher' stick around.

when they do see eachother its like they were never apart. they stay really good friends.

Wednesday goes to Nevermore and everything with Crackstone happens and she goes back for the next semester. Joel visits and obviously the first thing he says is 'Cara Mia!' Wednesday immediately replying with a 'Mon cher'

someone tells Enid the translations and she gets really jealous and confused because- who is this guy??

[joelswritingmistress]

You Scare Me, Professor: Chapter 22

Summary: The reader is taking graduate classes at a local university in the wooded upstate New York. She is drawn to her professor, Dr. Joel Miller, though she is also inherently aware that he has something dark about him that she can't quite put her finger on. As the reader's attraction grows deeper, she has to decide whether to endure the danger or run away as fast as possible.

Pairing: Professor Joel Miller x f!reader

I had gotten through Dr. Stevenson’s class with flickering eyes in the dim lighting. Knowing that Dr. Miller was right next door teaching his other course had me thinking about him.

Was he making people laugh? What material was he teaching? And the question I tried not to let creep into my jealous, little mind - is he attracted to anyone in that class? I don't know why I did that to myself, but I couldn't help my inner baseless insecurities. Still, I didn't let it consume me. I was the one who had a key to his house. I was the one who was attending his sister’s wedding in a few weeks. I was the one sleeping beside him on a nightly basis.

Be cool, I told myself. Our romance was too hot and steamy for me to attempt, or even pretend, to be cool.

When I wandered out into the hallway in the crowd of other students, I glanced down toward the closed door near the end of the hall and smiled to myself. I then whipped out my phone to find text messages from both Dr. Miller and James - who had been walking me to my car regularly on Wednesday nights.

Before clicking on Dr. Miller’s, I expected his typical racy text that made the extra hour without him feel ten times as long. I smiled to myself when it read: Please be careful. Let me know when you get home. I still don't trust the campus security.

I had to admit I enjoyed Dr. Miller’s healthy dose of jealousy towards James. It made me feel less guilty for having my own insecure thoughts. I guess it was just human nature, to some degree.

I wrote him back, promising I would text him when I arrived at my car and then again at home. I added a heart emoji and hit send before moving on to James’s text, which let me know he’d see me in the parking lot. A part of me felt just a bit needy for asking him to come by every Wednesday at this time; but I knew Dr. Miller’s concerns for my safety wouldn't allow for me to be alone after dark on campus - even for just a minute or two. I didn’t particularly think I needed James, but I know, despite his distaste for another male to come to my aid, it made Dr. Miller feel better. That was enough for me.

Gotta pee, long ride home! I texted back to James, adding, See ya in a second. Thanks!!

I stuffed my phone back into my bag and wandered into the women's bathroom in a nook by the elevators.

When I hung my bag and sat in the stall, my phone buzzed again. Tori.

Her text came through: Hey, thanks for the two months in advance. You didn’t have to! Btw, I have a huge question. Nothing bad. Call when you can.

Big question? What could it be? And I certainly didn’t pay two months in advance.

Dr. Miller. It had to be him.

I quickly tapped her name and hit the little phone icon and put the receiver up to my ear.

“Hey!” My friend answered in a cheery voice, “Didn’t think you’d call back so quickly!”

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Ahh…” She breathed the word and I knew she was hesitant to ask whatever it was she was about to. “So.. um.. Derek.”

I smiled to myself, thinking I had an inclination of what this was about. And I actually thought it would solve a few of my inner monologue issues, especially since Dr. Miller insisted on having me at his place every night.

“You want him to move in,” I speculated. It caused a long pause on the other end and I finally asked, “Tori?” Maybe I was wrong. Maybe they broke up. Maybe-

“Yeah. I feel like a dirtbag for asking-”

“Why?” I practically shouted, and then put a hand over my mouth with a little laugh when I heard the door open to the restroom.

“Because it’s our place and I know adding a dude to the mix could make it awkward.”

“Well.. honestly.. Dr.-” I caught myself and stopped for a second.

“Doctor?”

“I.. well.. Hmm..” I reset. “Joel gave me a key to his place.”

“What!?” Tori exclaimed.

“I know I've been staying there a lot,” I went on.

“(Y/N) it's totally okay.” She laughed. “So, is he like your hot sugar daddy?”

I laughed again and glanced to the side when I heard someone shuffling around. “No. I am falling for him pretty hard though.” And then I added, “I think it's great if Derek moves in.”

“Really?” Tori squeaked.

“Really.”

“I feel like we haven't seen each other. We need to meet up this week and really talk.”

“Definitely. How about Friday after work?”

“Yes!”

“Okay. Congrats on Derek.”

“Congrats on your hot old man.”

I laughed. “Alright. I'll see you soon.”

“Bye.”

The door handle turned and I cleared my throat. “Oh, someone’s in here.” A knock followed. “Be right out.”

I got myself together and felt the muscles in my stomach tense when there was another, louder knock. This time I didn’t answer right away. And then came a loud bang that caused me to jump back a few inches. I almost shrieked but I held it in.

“I’ll be right out!” I shouted now, beginning to use my phone. When the door handle twisted again, I used the best verbal defense I could think of. “I’m calling campus security!”

The pounding stopped. The door handle twisting stopped. I breathed heavily a few times and swallowed hard as I heard the faintest sound of footsteps. As badly as I wanted to peek out of the crack in the door, fear had me pinned against the wall of the bathroom stall.

I heard the creak of the door and then there was silence. I began texting Dr. Miller, though before I hit send I stopped myself. He was teaching a class. I didn’t want to bother him and pull him out of class. Not to mention there was no good reason why, according to the university, I should be phoning my professor.

“Fuck.” I whispered the word to myself. I wanted to call him, but I knew it wouldn’t be a good look. On the same note, I knew when I told him about this later, he’d be pissed that I didn’t call him.

I went with my next best option. James.

Until I heard the door crack open again, and my friend’s familiar voice called hesitantly into the women’s bathroom, I remained behind the locked door - not that someone couldn’t have gotten under the bottom of it if they really wanted to. Still, I wasn’t about to tiptoe out, only to be ambushed.

“(Y/N),” James called, “It’s me. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I cleared my throat and finally managed to open the door. I quickly washed my hands and then hurried back out into the civilization - which at the moment was only James and I.

“Are you okay?” He asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah.” I took a deep breath and brushed my hair back. “I don’t even know what happened. I was.. I don’t know if someone was just being impatient, or..” My eyes met his, “I don’t know.”

“Did it seem like a threat?”

I shrugged. “They tried opening the door, and I told them I was in there. And then they just kept knocking and pounding at the door and twisting the handle.” I shook my head, “It was probably someone just having a bad day, or.. I don’t know.”

“Let’s make it a formal complaint,” James suggested, but I shook my head.

“No. No, I’m sure it was nothing.”

“You have to,” he insisted, “You can’t be too careful. With everything that’s happened here, it needs to be reported.” James pulled out a small notebook from his shirt pocket.

I scrunched my nose. “Do you have to include my name?”

He shook his head. “I’ll keep that part to myself.” James made a face, “Unless they really need it for some reason.”

“Okay.” I agreed. He took the details of what had happened and then proceeded to walk me the rest of the way to my car, flashing his light in my back seat just before I hopped in.

“Thank you, James.” I gave him a hug. “I appreciate your help.”

“You’re welcome.” He gave a small grin. “Any time you need someone, I’m here. I know you take a few night classes here so just make sure you don’t walk alone.”

“I won’t.”

“Be careful.”

I nodded and began to duck into the driver’s seat.

“Hey, (Y/N).”

“Yeah?” I glanced up at him as I settled in.

“Do you still live on that dead end street with Tori?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Why?”

James shrugged. “You just said you had a long ride home. I didn’t know if you moved, or if you were staying with your parents or something.”

“Oh.” Shit, I had slipped. “Yeah, tonight I’m actually.. Staying somewhere else.”

“Oh.” His eyebrows rose and fell and it appeared as though he was waiting for an explanation. When I failed to elaborate James cleared his throat. “Well, stay safe.”

“Thanks for helping me out.”

“No problem.”

I waved goodbye and closed the door, locking it as I started it up. Before I put it in drive, Dr. Miller’s text came through, asking if I was on my way home.

How much do I tell him right now?

I hesitated before leaving it at: Pulling out of the parking lot now.

Are you okay to be in that big house alone? He asked.

The thought did freak me out a bit. But I knew it was probably the safest place for me to be. If it wasn’t, Dr. MIller wouldn’t be comfortable sending me off there alone.

I wrote back: If I say no will you hurry home?

I’ll hurry home anyway.

I smiled to myself and began the drive back up the desolate highway into the heart of the Catskills. After weeks of spending the night at Dr. MIller’s mansion, I couldn’t imagine not staying there.

The longer I drove with my music playing, the less I thought of the incident in the bathroom. It was when I finally reached the tall, steel gates surrounded by nothing but woods that my anxiousness grew. I had to physically get out of the car to do the code. That was when all thoughts of the bathroom came rushing back.

Dr. Miller was over a half hour away. He wasn’t here to protect me. What if that was some psycho killer? What if someone was here now? My mind rushed to all the worst case scenarios now that I was forced with the task of getting out of the car to open the gates. It was dark. It was scary - at least without Dr. Miller it was.

“Grow up,” I whispered to myself. I knew if I was going to be living there, or kind of living there, that I would have to do this.

I opened the door and hugged my body, glancing around at the swaying trees all around me. Snow still sat in patches around the area from the small storms and the pavement was dark and damp.

2003. It was four numbers, and then I could get back in the car, drive up, get comfortable and wait for my knight in shining armor.

I left the car door open and clutched my keys as I slowly paced the uphill pathway toward the key pad. A whistle from the wind made me whip around in all directions and I had to catch my breath and remind myself that I was fine. It was just the desolate surroundings and the murders on campus that had me jumpy.

Very valid reasons, I reminded myself.

I reached for the keypad and punched in 2-0 as a set of headlights rolled up the drive, illuminating trees off to the left as it rounded a bend before was in the crosshairs of the beams.

That was the last straw. I didn't know whether to keep typing or run back to my car. I did neither. I froze.

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

@untamedheart81 @suttonspuds @cesspitoflove @michilandcof @grogusmum @morallyinept @akah565 @brittmb115 @magpiepills @poodlebae @gobaaby-blog-blog @mermaidgirl30 @mandijo17 @jiminstinypinky @itscatrodriguez-thepearl @macaroni676

[siriannatan]

Prep & Punk - Flower Husbands

AU by @vyeoh, it's really cool and stuff and all their art is really good

AO3

[Treebark thingy from this AU]

Jimmy would literally rather be anywhere but where he was now. In Scott's bedroom. Trying to focus on maths. With only him and Scott in the whole house. Completely unable to focus.

Why was Jimmy spending his weekend with Scott and not Grian and Joel? As much as studying wasn't a 'bad boy' thing,  almost failing most his classes was apparently even less so. So their math teacher assigned Jimmy a tutor - Scott apparently volunteered to spend his time trying to get some information into Jimmy's head. He had no idea why after their last rather messy break up and the whole Tango thing... jimmy tried really hard to think about geometry and not that. It wasn't all that hard. But quite frankly focusing on anything right now was a bit difficult.

In the past three months, he spend pretty much ignoring Scott's existence he forgot about a certain habit Scott had. He liked to wear skirts. Not a bad thing in the slightest. Jimmy was all for everyone wearing whatever they wanted. He, Grian and Joel had their leather jackets. Cleo, Scar and Bdoubs their weird old people shades, and Tango and his friends had their ties. Scott and Martyn had Pink. The capital 'P' is not a typo. Literally every Wednesday the two showed up in pink. And back when Jimmy was dating Scott he himself would wear something pink to fit Scott better. 

Grian and Joel still poked fun at him for that.

No. The skirt was neither nothing new or a problem in itself. The problem was how much of Scott's legs it exposed, making Jimmy's brain unable to think about anything but that. And suddenly realise he's missing Scott. But who could blame him? Scott was damn pretty and smart and... just Scott. And that maybe his marks were better when he'd sit around Scott and Martyn - very unhappy that Scott would explain everything to Jimmy at least three times - studying. Jimmy was no Grian or Joel, just hearing about a thing during the class was not nearly enough for him.

A sudden flick to his forehead had him looking up at Scott's face. It was no less distracting than the skirt. "Eyes up here Jim," he chuckled and Jimmy felt a weird pang. He never called him back when... "Have you heard a single word of what I just said?"

"Juliet's potion only made her look like she died?" Jimmy tried to scrabble together something they talked about in the past hour. He instantly knew he was wrong by the sigh Scott let out.

"We're at maths, Pythagorean theorem," he said but did not sound the slightest bit angry. Just a bit disappointed and maybe sad. "You didn't use to be that bad, Jim, no matter how short of a skirt I wore in the past. What happened?" he asked, pushing some hair off of Jimmy's face.

Jimmy just shrugged. He was not about to admit he didn't really study without Scott there. "I don't know," he shrugged instead and tried to focus on the pale pink, full of colourful side comments and sticky notes page of Scott's notebook. Scott's notes were always so clear and easy to understand. Jimmy sat through more than one session of Scott working on them and technically understood how it worked but was still beyond impressed. "I guess I was busy with other things..."

"I know I'm probably the least 'bad boy' person you know but you know you can always come and ask me if you don't understand something?" Scott sighed, leaning back and gently kicking Jimmy under the low table they were sitting on a fluffy carpet by. "I know you probably like Tango better... I can see when I've lost but... I don't want you to fail school. Not when I know you're smarter than that," he said, looking away from Jimmy, all slumped and sad and Jimmy felt mildly like a jerk.

He broke Scott's heart with a damn text. Managed to stay together with Tango for only like a month until they both realised they are too different. And then spend two more months avoiding Scott and admitting his own feelings. And throwing all the studying Scott practically dragged him through away... "No... Me and Tango... We weren't all that compatible... Not that way. He's cool to hang out with but most of the time I have no idea what he's talking about, it's damn hard to keep up with him..."

"Jim... please don't..." Scott protested and pounded the table. Glaring at Jimmy with teary eyes.

"I'm not," Jimmy stopped him and gently took his and in both of his. "I've spent three months being an idiot and I'm frankly done with that. I missed you. I missed carrying your bag. I missed you leaning on me when there are no free chairs or we're stuck in a line. I missed sitting silently while you study. I even missed Martyn's grumbling. But mostly I missed listening to you talk and just being around you... I missed you Scott," Jimmy really hoped he managed to express what he just realised. That his grouchy and angry phase was just him denying he was missing Scott playing with his hair and playing with Scott's hair. "I miss you so damn much..." he added, barely a whisper, not daring to look away from Scott for even a second.

"You promise... you promise it's all true and nothing but?" Scott sniffed, staring at his held by Jimmy's hands. 

"I do, Scott," Jimmy nodded. He was never so sure of anything he's ever said.

"So it'd be okay if I said we should have a break and maybe a nap?" Scott asked with a pout.

Jimmy had nothing against a break and a nap. Maybe ended up texting home he'd be staying over at Scott's and not at all telling Grian and Joel where he was the whole weekend. And maybe Scott wore Jimmy's leather jacket the whole Monday. And maybe there was a bright pink hairpin in Jimmy's hair.

[placeinthisworld]

hello!! i have a jensen cd player, i got a pretty cheap one from target that also has a cassette player/recorder which has been fun- i made one of my friends a mixtape for christmas lmaoo. it seems to work well so far so i'd recommend it if you want to get one! and ahhh your taylor closet sounds so cool!!

oh my god i would love a maroon or yoyok music video so so much!! they're both already such visual songs that tell such amazing stories i would love to see what taylor would do with them. i feel like something she's so good at is taking a song and turning it into an mv that both tells the same story and also brings something totally new to it! and a mastermind would be soo interesting i would love to see what she would do with it. i think a midnight rain mv could also be cool and play with a mix of flashbacks and like imagining what could have been and then going back to just showing taylor alone thinking ab it all at midnight

to switch gears a bit, what are some of your favorite tv shows and/or movies?

that sounds like a nice christmas!! my family always eats tamales on christmas eve, opens presents the next morning and then spends most of the day cooking a big dinner so there'll definitely be lots of good food which i'm excited for! hope you're doing well!! 💕💕

Hi im so sorry about the delay in response!! that cd player sounds so cool! do you have a lot of cassettes? i have a few billy joel ones but i havent gotten any taylor ones and ive been debating on if i should!! i only really collect taylor cds/ vinyls but the cassettes are tempting! and OMG making mix cds used to be SO FUN!! i have a couple of old ones still in my car still just in case!

yessssssssssss omg basically taylor needs to make a mv for the entirety of midnights bc she is such an amazing storyteller and creates the most lyrical and catchy songs like its nothing!!! the way her brain works is so interesting like i wish i had just a portion of her creativity!

ahhh i would say my favorite tv shows would be friends, the x-files, chuck, arrested development and stranger things!! i havent really been into any current shows anymore and exclusively rewatch these shows or watch yt! my bf and i watch some things like wednesday, the lego master show, and weird shows like true life/ old mtv shows together lmaooo. Movies are almost the same lol, my faves include funny girl (love babs) and disney movies (specifically tangled haha) What about you!?

awww that sounds like such a fun christmas!!! tamples are SO GOODD, esp homemade ones omg! im planning on making homemade fudge today and brining it into work on christmas for my coworkers :)

[noonachronicles]

You, Me, and Satan Himself

Lee Jooheon X Reader

Word count: 6.5k

Warnings: mild language. there are a couple of mentions of suicide/attempted suicide, not member or reader related. also mentions of child death, also not member or reader related. ummm I think that’s it. 

Genre: bffs to lovers. idiots to lovers. alludes fwb but not LJH/Reader. It’s got some spooky themes, but ultimately it’s fluff.

A/N: It’s a Halloweeeeeen story! Ghosts and ghouls, firemen and pirates and of course Satan himself. ;D Happy Birthday @nemesyis! This one is for you. It’s not really an attack story, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! 

Wind was howling through the naked branches of the trees that lined the path you were on. The brisk chill of the fall air made you shiver. Much to your chagrin the dress and tights combo of your costume was doing almost nothing to keep the cold from consuming you. Clicking of your black lolita heels against the pavement beneath you echoed down the avenue you were walking down. Luckily it was a full moon, which meant that the path was fully visible despite the lack of lights. It might have been romantic if you weren’t mentally preparing yourself to be spooked. Focusing in on the sound of every branch that cracked, every hoot of an owl, every flicker of movement in your peripherals was being noted and you were thrilled by the way it all made the blood tingle in your veins. The only thing putting you off was the chattering of your teeth. It was hard to focus on getting in the mood when you couldn’t stop thinking about how cold you were.

“I told you to bring a jacket.” Jooheon muttered beside you.

“A jacket doesn’t go with this costume.” you advised him for the hundredth time that night. “And the dress has sleeves...I thought it would be warmer.”

“Yeah well my costume doesn’t require a jacket either, so thanks for that.” he complained.

Stopping, you looked over at your very grumpy best friend. It was cute, his outfit. Plaid button down shirt tucked into brown cargo shorts. Round glasses sat on his nose. Pocket protector, complete with pens, sat against his chest. Tube socks pulled all the way up his calves and dirty sneakers on his feet. Every little detail made you smile, you’d done wonderfully putting it together for him, you knew there was even an inhaler in his pocket. He was the perfect Joel Glicker to your Wednesday Addams.

“Honey…” you said lifting your hand to his cheek as he pouted at you, “you look so cute. Thank you for being the best best friend a girl could ask for. I promise that next year I will have a boyfriend of my own and I’ll make him do couples costumes with me, and then you’ll never have to deal with it again.”

He sighed deeply and then gave a tight smile, you still caught a glimpse of his dimple, “It’s fine.”

Once the two of you got moving again you fell back into a comfortable silence, like the pair of you usually did. Instead of going back to your mood setting thoughts you considered Jooheon. He really was the greatest guy you knew. Growing up neighbors left him destined to be either your best friend or worst enemy and at different points in your life he’d been both.

From toddler to teen you were inseparable. Then at some point you couldn’t remember hormones tore you apart. That was when he met the boys. You could still remember how jealous you’d been that first summer watching them hanging out all the time, wishing it was still you he wanted to spend his time with. You’d tried making new friends but mostly became a recluse, playing video games all the time and reading libraries worth of books. In high school you got your first boyfriend, an athlete in the year ahead of you, and you dated for three years. On the first day of summer before your senior year he ditched you because he wanted to be single for university.

You never knew how he’d heard about the break up, you never asked, but the very next day when you had convinced yourself you were never leaving your blanket burrito ever again Jooheon showed up. The moment he walked into your room, after your mom had let him in the house, it was like there had never even been a second that you were apart. He spent every single day with you that summer. Even if he’d had plans with the boys, he always dragged you along. You barely spent a second alone and by the time senior year started you had practically forgotten you’d ever had a boyfriend in the first place. From then on you were back to inseparable even now as adults.

“I hate this.” he grumbled beside you.

The shrubbery along the path was thickening and it was getting darker the further you moved along. You reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing your fingers around his.

“Don’t worry so much. I’ll protect you, I swear.” you smiled over at him. “We’re almost there.”

There was the sound of another snapping branch from the trees and you could feel his body vibrate in fear, “We’re going to die, I hope you know. This is the worst night of my whole life because I’m going to die...dressed like a nerd.”

“Thank you.” you said again.

“For what? Dying with you on this cold, dark, abandoned path to some haunted house in the middle of nowhere?”

“Kind of,” you laughed quietly, “Thank you for coming with me tonight. I know you would have much preferred to stay at the party picking up chicks. Instead you came with me and that means a lot.”

“Oh,” he seemed to ease at your words and even puffed out his chest slightly, “It’s cool. Honestly, no big deal at all. I didn’t want to be at that party if you weren’t going to be there anyway. And yes, this may be a weird, creepy idea that I hate more than anything, but you know I’d do anything for you.”

You squeezed his hand again and smiled, “I love you, Honey.”

He rolled his eyes but smiled all the same, “I love you too.”

“We’re so close, the house is right up here, just around that curve.” you couldn’t help your excitement and you moved faster down the path.

As you had nearly reached the end of the path, the abandoned house in your sight, you could see a large dark mass speeding towards you, but you didn’t process it fast enough. Not until the cloaked figure was already rawring loudly into your face. Jumping back you clutched your chest, heart racing. Seconds passed and you finally registered Changkyun’s laughter, and your eyes adjusted enough to see his devilish face clearly. Jooheon was long gone, having sprinted back down the path quite a ways, he was still shrieking.

“That’s so fucked, Kyun.” you let out a large breath.

Devil horns atop his head, he held up his finger, an evil grin on his lips, “Just wait, it gets better.”

By then Jooheon’s screams had petered down. When you looked down the path to the silhouette of his figure you could see he was making his way, slowly, back to you. He was still several yards away when you saw the two new dark figures creeping out of the brush behind him. It was very clear he hadn’t noticed their presence yet.

“No, my poor Honey.” you mumbled, “Minhyuk?”

“And Hyungwon.” Changkyun snickered beside you.

After just a moment more of silence you could hear their collective “Boo!” as they lunged towards Jooheon. The sound of his screaming and cursing echoed through the night as he sprinted full speed back to you.

“Assholes!” he shouted, “All my friends are assholes!”

He clung to you as he panted, catching his breath and you gently patted his back, “You’re not wrong about that.”  

“I knew it was going to be good,” Minhyuk said still laughing as he and Hyungwon made it to the group, “but that was so much better than I ever expected.”

After finishing rolling your eyes you saw a flicker of light bouncing its way out of the front of the building.

“Shownu!” you called out cheerfully as you recognized the man behind the flashlight in his fireman costume. He gave a small wave as he made his way over. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Kihyun and Hoseok met some people at the party.” He shrugged as he moved out of the hug he’d given you. “Hoseok said to say sorry. Kihyun said to tell you he was not sorry and that if you couldn’t understand you weren’t really friends.”

You laughed, knowing that it was likely that’s exactly what he said. “Wait so you just went in all by yourself?”

“Yeah, no one was here when I got here so I went in and took a look around. Not very exciting as far as haunted houses go. I didn’t find any workers. There’s no smoke machines or creepy music.” he said sounding very unimpressed.

“Nunu…” you shook your head, “Oh sweet man, it’s not a haunted house, it’s just creepy and abandoned.”

“Ohh.” he nodded in understanding, “That makes more sense.”

Jooheon quickly went from clinging to you to clinging to the pillar of muscle and fearlessness that was Shownu. “Full offense to everyone else here, who sucks, but dibs on Nu as my partner.”

“Dibs on y/n.” Minhyuk said throwing his arm over your shoulder, “Unintentionally wearing couples costumes and everything.”

You looked him up and down in confusion, “Min, you’re a pirate. How are we at all a couples costume?”

“You see, after tonight, when you’re wowed by my courage, strength, and overall ability to protect you, you won’t be able to resist me.” you did your best to hold back a snort, “After that, we will be a couple and then no matter what our outfits are they will always be couples outfits. ...because, you know, we’ll be a couple.”

“I think I got it.” you laughed.

As he’d been talking everyone, with the exception of Minhyuk himself, watched as Hyungwon slipped silently behind the brazen pirate. In a swift motion he reached out, grabbing his hips, with a quick boo! Minhyuk jumped about a foot in the air, his pirate hat was thrown off his head and his shrill shriek pierced the cold air.

“Yeah...good luck in there, y/n.” Hyungwon said shooting you a wink.

“She’s a goner for sure.” Changkyun smirked.

“Alright, alright.” you said anxiously, “Let’s do this. I don’t want to be standing out here until the sun comes up.”

Pushing through the group you made your way to the dark house. The pirate and the devil followed closely behind, the others with slightly less enthusiasm. Once you hit the porch steps of the old colonial house you pulled your flashlight from the pocket of your dress. One of the double doors had been broken or removed and was leaning against the door frame. It wasn’t really breaking and entering, you thought to yourself, just entering really.

You ducked through the open door to avoid the giant cobweb in the corner. Inside the house was covered in a thick layer of dirt and dust. Dead leaves scattered across the floor as far as your eyes could see and you wondered just how long the front door had been down. Rebellious teenagers had left graffiti a top the peeling wallpaper. There were giant holes all along the walls and you were sure there wasn’t a foot of copper wiring left in the old bones of the home.

The foyer was huge and as the beam of your flashlight moved over it you could just imagine how beautiful it had been in its youth. There was a staircase to the second floor to the left of the room. Beyond it were two hallways leading off in opposite directions. You looked over at the giant landing at the base of the staircase and nodded to yourself.

“Changkyun,” you said and flashed your light over at the area, “how about here?”

He nodded in agreement, “Perfect.”

He handed you candle after candle from a brown satchel at his side to light and place around the area. When the fireman, Glicker, and Hyungwon as the ghoul all made it inside the whole group of you got comfortable, or as comfortable as you could, on the landing of the staircase. The devil stayed standing, his red cloak swooped around his legs and the light from the candles lit up his face dramatically as he prepared to tell the group about the history of the home. The shadow of his horns illuminated against the wall behind him.

“The year,” Changkyun began, “was eighteen oh six. Doctor Leonardo Fitz had just wed the love of his life, Maria Vanderson. As a grand gesture of his love for her he had this house built just for her and what was meant to be their large, happy family. However, after many years had passed the halls of the home remained without the laughter of children. It seemed that the couple was not fated for the family they had dreamed of. Maria was devastated and heartbroken, believing herself to be at fault for their misfortune. Unable to take the guilt of it all she attempted to drown herself in the couple's claw footed bathtub, that remains upstairs to this very day.”

Jooheon let out a hiss of a breath and burrowed closer to you.

“Maria Vanderson was unsuccessful at her death, found too quickly by the house maid and dragged from the water. Though when she woke her husband feared the damage had already been done. His wife had become delusional. Nightmares haunted her sleep and visions attacked her in the light of day. To anyone who would give her a minute of their time she babbled on about what had happened in her time in the great beyond. She spoke of a man that had come to her just before the light took her for good.

The man with eyes as black as the darkest night sky pressed the palm of his clawed hand against her flat stomach. Locking his dark stare with her fearful one he whispered, ‘my son’. A little over a month after the incident occurred they found out that Maria was pregnant. The doctor, desperate for an excuse for his wives apparent insanity, blamed her delusions on the pregnancy hormones. Nine months to the very day of her attempted suicide, Maria gave birth.”

“Nooooo.” Minhyuk gasped. You bit your lip to keep from laughing at the look of absolute horrified realization on his face.

“What?” Jooheon asked with morbid curiosity, even as he wrapped himself even tighter around you.

Minhyuk looked over at him with raised eyebrows and mouthed, “It’s the devils baby!”

Changkyun sighed in annoyance. “Well if Minhyuk is just going to spoil everything what’s the point of even going on with the story.”

“Oh, Kyunnie, please!” You pouted cutely, “It’s so good and you worked so hard on all that research.”

“I did.” He nodded smugly, “I researched the entire history of this home…  So I will continue, but everyone better keep their theories to themselves.”

“Sorry,” Minhyuk said as he coward at the pointed look from his junior.

“What had been more shocking than the timing of Maria’s labor,” he started once more, “was that she gave birth to twin boys. One with flaxen hair like his father, the others black as a raven’s feather.”

Minhyuk let out another dramatic gasp but quickly slammed his hand over his mouth.

Changkyun continued, “Both boys grew up portraits of health and seemingly as normal as any other child might. The only difference between them besides the color of their hair was that Damian, the raven haired child, had been fussier than his brother Gabriel. He required much more attention but only that from his mother was able to comfort him. As they aged the changes and differences between them became more and more clear. Gabriel was a playful, independant boy that enjoyed spending his time outside in the sun. He liked to run around the giant yard, swinging on the swing set, and climbing trees. He liked to be dirty and to laugh.

Damien did not enjoy those things. He was quiet, an observer of the things around him. Even though he was just a boy he still knew things about the people in the home, their secrets.  He preferred to do whatever his mother was doing, always at her side. She called him her little shadow and adored him with every ounce of her being. The doctor did not feel the same way about the boy. He felt he could see a darkness in the child and was watching it grow every day. It terrified the doctor to see how he manipulated Maria and the others in the house into loving him.

One afternoon Maria had been getting ready for a gala she was to attend with the doctor. She’d been in front of her vanity doing her makeup. The boys had been running up and down the hallway and in the playroom quite loudly. After some time had passed she realized the house had grown silent.”

“I don’t like it,” Jooheon whispered just to you, and pressed his face into your shoulder. You squeezed his hand comfortingly and listened to Changkyun go on.

“When she stepped from the bedroom into the hallway the only thing she could see was Damien at the top of the stairs holding a wooden toy airplane at his side. As she moved closer to her son she could see the mortifying view at the bottom of the stairs. Her fair haired boy laid mangled across the bottom step, blood oozing around him. She wrapped Damien in her arms, pressing his face to her chest to protect him from the sight. The help claimed they could her screams for hours after, just echoing up and down the halls. Maybe we’ll even hear them tonight.”

“Wait...these stairs?!” Hyungwon asked in a panic, shooting up from the bottom step he’d been sitting on. He cleared his throat and said a little more casually, “I mean ...these stairs?”

“One and the same.” Changkyun confirmed.

“What...that’s it?” Shownu asked high key unimpressed. You watched as Hyungwon slowly made his way from the staircase to the opposite side of the circle, otherwise unnoticed.

“Worry not, the story doesn’t end there.”

“Oh god damn it.” Jooheon groaned beside you.

“Alright, everyone, settle down and focus.” Changkyun waited for everyone’s attention before going on with the story. “Doctor Leo knew right away what had happened to his son and was furious. He wanted to get rid of the evil boy. However, Maria loved her son and she refused to believe the ravings of a madman. One day while she’d been out the doctor had even brought a priest into the home to try and exorcise the boy. Maria was enraged when she arrived home. Unable to handle the pained cries of the only child she had left, she tore the restraints from his body and banned the clergy from her home.

A decade had passed and the doctor’s fear and anger had torn him and Maria apart. They stayed on opposite sides of the home. She refused to speak to him because every time she did he would just say some hurtful things to her about Damien. The doctor began to drink heavily, he was falling apart having lost his son and then his wife.

On his fifteenth birthday, what would have been Gabriels as well, Maria took her son into the city for lunch and then to the zoo. When they arrived back home they found the doctor had ended his own life. Unable to handle the evil consuming the home any longer. His limp, lifeless body was found hanging from the railing, just there,” Changkyun pointed up to the railing of the second floor that was broken, leaving dangerous open gaps, “He’d made a noose out of bed sheets.”

“Two down, one to go.” Hyungwon joked, though he eyed the railing warily

“He won’t kill the mom.” Shownu argued. Both Minhyuk and Jooheon shuddered at the thought.

You sighed, “Come on, guys. He’s almost to the best part.”

“Which is?” Shownu asked.

“The end.” Jooheon grumbled.

“The best part is when he finally gets to the reason we’re really here.” you corrected.

“Just get it over with then.” Minhyuk whined, pulling his knees to his chest.

“For three years following the death of the doctor, mother and son lived here quite harmoniously. The only complaints to be had were from the help. Maids and gardeners often complaining about the property being overrun by creatures that always ended up dead. In the home and around it they found rats, cats, birds, foxes, rabbits, and snakes. As if they’d come to the house for the sole purpose of dying.

One afternoon, not long after Damien’s eighteenth birthday, Maria was just coming home from a short trip to the city. Out on the lawn, she found the old gardener facedown on the ground, dead.  When she ran inside the maid and the cook where both here in the foyer. Deep gashes like those from the claws of an animal covered their bodies. Blood was seeping from their wounds. She could see, dug into the wood flooring, were marks left by the cooks nails as she’d been dragged down the hall. Terrified for her son’s life, Maria searched the whole house for Damien. She found the door of the study, the last place she’d checked, slightly ajar. She peered inside and what she saw made her sick with fear.

Her son was standing in the center of the room with his eyes closed and naked as the day he was born. Behind him the fireplace was burning and she watched with wide eyes as a horned beast stepped out from the flames half man, half animal. Ten feet tall it had hoven feet and eyes as black as the darkest night. In his clawed hands he held a gold chalice. He spoke in a language she could not understand and from the chalice poured what seemed like an endless stream of dark red blood on top of her son’s head.

In a voice she’d heard before the beast whispered, my son.

Damien’s eyes opened under the shower of blood, and she gasped when she saw they were as black as his fathers. The door swung open, exposing her. The last thing she saw was the sick twisted smile of her demon son as his father came for her.  

Some people say you can hear the sound of hoven feet against the hardwood floor, the pained screams of Maria, the giggles of young Gabriel, and warnings from the doctor himself, whispered against your ear, begging you to leave this damned home.”

“I’ve seen the fireplace in the study. It’s huge. The devil coming out of it,” Shownu shrugged, “that’s actually pretty believable.”

“The devil!” Jooheon whined, “That’s so much worse than just a regular ghost story! I hate this, I’m gonna be sick.”

“Who is going to explain why we’re here?” Shownu asked, “I thought that would be made clear.”

“We’re here to find the chalice.” Changkyun answered. “Somewhere in this haunted old house is the devil's cup. We will go in our pairs and search until it’s found or the sun has risen.”

“What do we get if we find it?” Hyungwon asked intrigued.

“Pride, honor, a golden chalice to drink all of your future drinks out of.” you said as if the answer were obvious. “Also, the winning team gets breakfast paid for by the losers.”  

“Yeah, we’re winning. Let’s go.” With that Shownu grabbed Jooheon by the wrist and dragged him down the hall to the left.

“Game on.” Changkyun said with a wicked laugh before running upstairs with Hyungwon hot on his devils tail.

~~

The house was much scarier than you expected it to be. It might not have been that bad if it weren’t for the fact that Minhyuk was trembling with fear everywhere the two of you went. You’d searched the kitchen and the dining room together. The pair of you clung desperately to each other with every step you took down in the basement. You were sure if the chalice had been down there you’d missed it. The only thing you were focused on while you were down there was getting back upstairs and Minhyuk had been much worse off than you. He made you search the study by yourself while he stood by the door holding a shaking flashlight in your general direction. The pair of you passed by Shownu and Jooheon on the way to the sitting room and the sun room on the opposite side of the house.

Once you were sure you’d been to every room downstairs you went upstairs. In the children’s room, instead of the chalice you found a dust covered, wooden toy airplane. When you showed it to Minhyuk he screamed and for several minutes you were certain he was going to cry. Then, walking across the hall from one bedroom to another, a toy ball rolled passed your feet and Minhyuk swore he heard a child’s laughter. Though the whole situation made your chest tight with fright, part of you was also sure that Changkyun had something to do with it. Especially since you hadn’t seen him or Hyungwon the entire time you’d been upstairs.  

The two of you were headed to the master bedroom next. Minhyuk was a few feet in front of you. He passed by an open bedroom door without a second thought but a quiet whistling from the room caught your attention. You’d looked everywhere in the small room, and were standing nervously in front of the closet when Minhyuk called your name from down the hall. You turned to call back to him but when you opened your mouth a hand slammed down against your lips. Screaming into the hand, you were dragged backwards into the closet and the door closed in front of you.

“God, Y/n, stop screaming.” Changkyun whispered against your ear and spun you around.

“What the hell, you scared the fuck out of me.” you hissed as your eyes started to adjust to the darkness.

“All of the fuck?” he grinned, “Not even a little fuck left for me?”

“Apologize,” you whispered, sliding your hand from his chest to his hip, “maybe then I can find a fuck for you.”

He leaned in and dragged the tip of his nose from your throat to the base of your ear and whispered back, “I’m sorry I scared you.”

You hummed in pleasure, “Oh, look, I think I found one.”

“Mm, that’s good.” he said before leaving kisses along your neck, pulling the soft skin between his teeth until you were groaning. You squirmed beneath his hands as they pinned your hips against the wall.

“Kiss me for real.” you whined. He lifted his face to yours and let you pull his lips between yours. You kissed him for a full minute before you realized he wasn’t kissing back. “What? What’s wrong? Why aren’t you kissing me?”

He cupped your face in his hands with a smile, “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Okay, then kiss me.”

He leaned in again, this time pressing his lips against yours in a true kiss. His tongue slipped between your teeth and you pulled his hips closer, practically slamming them into yours. He kept you pressed against the old, dirty wall of the bedroom closet until your lips were sore and swollen and you weren’t sure which tongue was his and which was yours. When he finally pulled away, he kept his eyes on you for a moment as you caught your breath.  

Then he pressed a sweet kiss against your forehead and smiled, “We had fun right?”

“What? Why did you say it like that? Had?” you asked confused.

“That was our last kiss, kiddo.” he said as if it was just any ordinary conversation.

“What?”

“Jooheon is going to ask you out later.”

“What?”

He chuckled, “You should say yes. He likes you, is in love with you, likes you.”

“What?”

He grabbed your face in his palms, “Please stop saying what.”

“Um,” you looked at him trying to process but not being able to, “What?”

“Jooheon, you remember him?” he asked. You nodded, “He’s in love with you. He’s going to ask you out on a date. A real date, not just you two being besties like you’ve always been. I really think you need to say yes. I think you want to say yes. He really wants to be with you and you deserve that.”

“So...what does that mean, you don’t” you asked feeling a little hurt.

“Oh baby girl, I don’t want to be with anyone. I’m just having fun and we did that, right? You had fun?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

He frowned seeing how upset you were, “You want more than secret rendezvous every once in awhile. I’m not totally clueless. I know you’ve been wanting more from me for awhile now.”

“I guess I was the clueless one.” you sighed.

“No” he said, “what I do just isn’t for everyone. You deserve more. You deserve real dates where you go out to dinner and then get ice cream after. You deserve sleepovers that end in you falling asleep together on the couch while the movie is still running. You deserve someone that’s going to drag you around everywhere and tell anyone who’ll listen that you’re his girl, because nothing makes him more proud than being with you.”

A small smile found its way to your lips, “Honey.”

“Exactly.” Changkyun smiled.

“You really think he loves me? I mean, I know he loves me like a best friend but…”

“He would not be trembling his way through this dark abandoned home on Halloween night, if it wasn’t for you. He would do anything for you and he’d do it because he loves you. Loves you loves you.” He shook his head as if amused, “You love him back, you know. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for that delicate little man.”

“What if it’s not supposed to be like that. What if it ruins our friendship?” you bit your lip.

“You would never let that happen, either of you.” Changkyun said with certainty, “You’ll never let him out of your life, and he’ll never let you out of his. Even if things go horribly wrong, which I guarantee they won't, you two are going to have each other forever.”

~~~

It wasn’t totally clear how long you’d been in that closet with Changkyun but you knew it had probably been too long. Minhyuk was nowhere to be found upstairs and you immediately felt horrible having left him alone for so long. You had run into Hyungwon who asked if you’d seen Changkyun and you gave a vague response about him maybe being in the master bedroom before heading downstairs again.

Your flashlight had gone dead just before you’d run into Hyungwon, so you were pretty desperate to find your partner. The way down the stairs was slow going as you cautiously felt for each step before moving forward. Midway down the light from a flashlight hit you in the face. You squinted, unable to see who was coming up the stairs.

“Hey!” Jooheon grabbed your arms looking panicked, “Where were you?”

“I was just searching upstairs. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You asked concerned.

He dropped his hands to his sides with relief, “We ran into Minhyuk, he said he lost you. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I was so worried. Where’s your flashlight?”

“Oh...it died. You were worried about me? You searched a dark abandoned house for me all by yourself?” You grinned.

“Well...yeah. I just, I didn’t want you to be alone or get hurt or something.”

I wasn’t,” you paused, he didn’t need to know you weren’t exactly alone, “I was okay. Thank you for coming to find me though.”

You looked over your shoulder at the sound of footsteps on the stairs and nodded at Changkyun as he passed the two of you, Hyungwon following close behind. You watched him all the way down the stairs and into the dinning room before looking back at Jooheon. He looked from you to where Changkyun has disappeared and then back again.

“You were alone, right?” He asked quietly.

“Mostly…”

He bit his lip nervously as he looked up at you, “Do you want to be with him?”

“Be with who?” You gulped.

“Kyun. Are you into him?”

A small smile spread across your lips, “No, actually I think I might be into someone else.”

“Oh.” His shoulder fell with disappointment. “You never told me about anyone new. Usually you tell me that kind of stuff.”

“He’s not really new. I’ve known him for awhile.”

Jooheon’s face creased in confusion, “Who do you know that I don’t know?”

“I never said you didn’t.” You laughed.

“Someone we both know and it’s not Changkyun?” He asked. You could see the gears turning in his mind. “Oh god. Please tell me it’s not Minhyuk.”

“I found it!” Hyungwon screamed, running into the foyer holding the golden chalice high above his head. “We win!”

“Noooooo!” You could hear Minhyuk whining before you saw him tear into the foyer from the opposite hall. “Where?!”

“Kitchen.” Changkyun was leaning against a post, you hadn’t even seen him stroll in after Hyungwon.

“We looked there!” Minhyuk spun around the room with his flashlight until he spotted you under the beam of light, “Didn’t we look there, y/n?”

You blocked the light from your eyes with your hand, “Yes, Min.”

“Well not good enough. Haaaaah!” Hyungwon laughed as Minhyuk chased after him through the foyer, grabbing for the chalice.

“Hey!” Shownu shouted from the balcony, the light from his phone illuminating his face, “Kihyun and Hoseok are already at the diner for breakfast. They want us to meet them there.”

Finally gathered together once more the whole group took off together, back down the avenue of trees. Dawn was coming and what once was pitch black was now a muted gray. Everything looked a little different in the soft light. You turned around and looked back at the old house, it didn’t look very threatening at all.

Changkyun had thrown his arm over your shoulder, in what you knew was now simply the action of a good friend. Though Jooheon didn’t and he pouted as he walked with Shownu behind the two of you. With a yawn you wondered how Minhyuk had the energy to chase Hyungwon down the sidewalk, still desperate for the golden chalice.

Hoseok and Kihyun met the group outside of the twenty-four hour diner looking a little worse for the wear. Hoseok was half asleep and stumbling drunk as you made your way inside. The group packed into two red vinyl booths.

Jooheon looked up from his plastic covered menu at you in surprise as you slipped into the booth next to him. “Wouldn’t you rather sit with your boyfriend?”

“Who? Changkyun?” You asked, pulling the menu between the two of you so you could read it too. “I thought we cleared that up. I like someone else.”

“Yeah but you never said who. Are you going to tell me?”

You opened your mouth to say something and he watched you wide eyed with anticipation. However the waitress had arrived for drink orders, giving you a second chance to avoid the question. It wasn’t that you weren’t going to tell him, just that you enjoyed the frustrated look on his face, it was too cute to resist.

When the waitress left to get the drinks, instead of telling him what he wanted to know, you engaged with Kihyun who was sitting across from you in a very serious discussion about what to order. You couldn’t decide between dinner and breakfast. In the end you did what you always did. Jooheon would get breakfast and you would get dinner and then you’d split your meals.

“Did you have fun at least?” You asked Jooheon as the waitress came around with your food. “It wasn’t that bad was it?”

“No, not as bad as I expected.” He sighed as he separated his meal into two. “It was fun. I scared Hyungwon once, did I tell you?”

“No! You didn’t!” Laughing at the thought, you put half of your cheeseburger on his plate. “I’m so happy you had fun, Honey.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t win.” He said quietly

You grinned, “Oh it’s okay. Maybe next year.”

“Next year?!” He asked in an instant panic.

“Yeah. It’ll be better. We’ll just make sure we get to be partners next time.”

“You’d want to be partners with me?” He asked genuinely surprised, “I thought you were going to have a boyfriend by next year. Whoever this secret guy is that you like probably likes you back. If you’re dating then he’ll want to be your partner and I’ll get stuck with someone else.”

“Well, do you?” You asked grabbing a piece of bacon from his plate.

“Do I what?”

You looked across the table where Hoseok and Kihyun had passed out on one another, their food left almost completely untouched except for a french fry hanging from Kyihuns mouth.

“Do you like me back?” You asked.

“Yeah of course I like you back I-“ his eyes went wide when he realized that you meant. “Me? I’m the guy you’re into?”

“The one and only.” You were sure you’d never seen his dimple get so deep he was smiling so big.

“I want to kiss you.” He said, eyes sparkling.

“Wait, there’s something I want to tell you first.” You felt nervous, but telling him about Changkyun seemed like the right thing to do. If you were really starting this you wanted to start it the right way. “Kyun and I were…”

“I know.” His smile dropped slightly but he shrugged, “I’ve known for awhile, you guys were pretty obvious.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You asked grabbing his hand beneath the table subconsciously.

“I wanted you to want to tell me. I wanted you to be happy. It was hard being around you two, poorly hiding flirtatious looks.”

“I’m so dumb. I’m so sorry.” You whispered as you thought back at the last few months realizing Jooheon had almost never spent time with you and Changkyun together.

“Kyun figured it out. He asked me the other night and I told him the truth. That I’m in love with you.”

Your eyebrows shot up but you weren’t sure you were entirely surprised. “Honey…”

“Kyun told me to ask you out, he said you were… that you might… maybe...possibly.”

“I’m in love with you too.” You laughed, ending his small suffering of trying to avoid asking you if you loved him back. “I think I was in some denial but Kyun showed me the light.”

“He did?” Jooheon seemed genuinely shocked when you nodded, “well what do you know, Satan himself thinks we should be together.”

“Who are we to deny him?” With a small smile you leaned over and pressed a kiss against his dimpled cheek.

He covered his face with his hand shyly. “Aish, not in front of everyone!”

You laughed at the cute way he blushed, “You’re the one who wanted to kiss me!”

“Still do...” he grinned and lifted his hand to the back of your neck pulling you in for a sweet first kiss.

[weasleyismyking540]

30 Day Shipping Challenge

Day 18: What is the cutest pairing? 

See, I don't read the questions ahead of time, so I never know what to expect until the day of. So I could easily Romione and Jackie/Hyde this question too like I've done the last ones haha.

But to show I have more interest than that, I'll actually think about this one and find something different.

So Imma pick Jr Gomez and Morticia.... A.k.a. Joel Glicker and Wednesday Addams.

So in the 90s, my favorite chick was Wednesday Addams. She wasn't peppy, she wasn't trying to fit in, she wasn't fake. She stayed herself despite the situations she was put in, and I always thought even then that Christina Ricci was so pretty. Also, her insults and downright bluntness cracked me up, even when at the time of first seeing the movies, I didn't understand all of the jokes.

This one here, being the funniest. And I didn't get it until I was in high school lol. Whore. I hated that little girl.

So when she goes to camp and she's absolutely miserable, I like that she found somebody that made camp at least tolerable for her (I wish I could find a gif or pic of when Joel first sees her and almost has an asthma attack, so cute). Joel was basically an outcast too. He had a ton of health problems (which I strongly felt then and still now that his mom exaggerated), he liked odd things, and he did as he pleased without caring who judged him. Right up Wednesday's alley lol.

I like that Wednesday found someone outside of her family that though odd, really wasn't like her. She didn't have any friends besides her brother, so it was nice to see her trusting someone, even enough to invite to family functions like her uncle's wedding and her brother's birthday party. Which I'm shocked that his parents even let him go to. He must have left out some details.

That's so cute lol. Because you know that Wednesday is a morbid person, so her calling him disturbing is actually a compliment and he knows it lol. And the fact that he knows that calling her weird is fine to her is cute too.

And their little kiss was just awwwwwww. I was a strange kid. At that age, cooties were non existent. I thought kissing was totally fine. And the fact that they talked like Gomez and Morticia, OMG!!

It would have been cool if they came out with a third one, and we could see how they are as late teens or something. But they were adorable, and their whole little relationship is what made that movie a favorite of mine.

He wanted to be her devoted slave like Gomez was to Morticia omg 😂😂😂😂

I pity him too girl. Wild days and torturous nights when y'all grow up lol.

[dressedupkiss]

21 days

Until March! Then 20 days til spring! Then two weeks til my birthday!

Then it will be so warm out and beautiful and spring will smell so nice and the sun will be so comforting and energizing, the moonlight at night will be so emotional, the stars in the sky will invite me to love them and celebrate...

Summertime will be a time for lovers and I will spend lots of time with Joel and George and I will make new stoner buddies and have lots of friends!! I will meet new people and make true connections with my newfound confidence and comfort in myself.

I don’t care about Laura anymore, she is just not kind to me and I don’t deserve to love someone who doesn’t respect or appreciate me.

I’m feeling good and ready for the new warm weather, just another month and a half and the sun will start to melt the snow and everything will be so beautiful!!

Lately it has been insanely cold outside like -30 every day and I hope there is a warm day soon.

I’m gonna do laundry at dads tomorrow and get groceries with him sometime this week, that will save me lots of money for food this month. It’s the 8th today I thought it was later in the month for some reason.

Only 16 more days until I get paid again! And this time I will have $484 all to myself for the month I am so excited to be able to spend my money more. I’m gonna get so many cool shirts for summer. I’ve been really frugal the past year because I had to pay off my MasterCard but now I did pay it off so I’m Rollin in my extra dough!!

I don’t have free wifi anymore because my neighbour cut everyone off or it’s just needs to be fixed like he said seemingly lying. Oh well. Soon enough I’ll have wifi from a different neighbour or something ....

My weed is coming on Wednesday, tomorrow is Tuesday, it’s about nearing 7pm today. Joel’s bday is in less than 10 days, I gotta draw them a pic for it. They haven’t lived in a place for themselves in like 3 months, they kept all their $1500 to themselves each month and they’re still out of money. They’re the worst at saving especially when they need to be saving for a vehicle. I hope they get a car and a place soon. It would suck to be summertime and they’re still not in a place of their own.

Riff raff has community telepathy with me, three loco I would see each of them every once in a while on YouTube or on tv shows or movies and I enjoyed all 3 and then I see they’re getting all fucked up on my intense vibes. I had such intense emotions and mental activity man I was singing good songs and feeling so much passion. Very exhausting though. Thought of so many things. Saw space. I dunno why everything gotta be a rollercoaster of rainbow magic but at least I’m ok still. I wish I didn’t have to be forced medication though.

My guts are full of food and I look big, I’m definitely ready to go walking and burn off these extra pounds. Still gotta wait 2 months though.

Unless there is a warm day again before spring. Then I will go walking. I’m glad it didn’t snow too much this year, a lot in the beginning but not too bad the rest of the winter. Has been real cold but not more snow.

I need to connect to nature more. Good thing I have marijuana. I’ve been doing mudras with my fingers lately in the morning sun and it feels really good. I was thinking of how eastern medicine is like bells and smoke and stuff and I learned how to do that by their example. I feel very eastern medicine-y and eastern worldly, I need a red covering with beautiful intricate patterns and brass bells 🔔

🔔

Looks like a lamp

I’ve only been able to make friends with male meth heads in the last couple years

I don’t really get close to them but there is an aspect of friendship there

Nameless kid, Lionel, and Derek.

Two native guys one white guy

Lionel reminds me of my white friend Adam tho

And He is super fit and strong

Oh there’s one more guy,

Andy

He’s native too and strong and fit

So that’s 4 meth heads drug addicts dudes that are nice ish to me and chill with me randomly

I guess that’s who I resonate with because I accept everyone for a beautiful creature and maybe these guys needed some extra acceptance because it must be tough living as a guy sometimes when everyone expects you to work super hard and do everything for everyone

Drug addiction must keep them busy with something rewarding and it must be from pain

So I go out in the world and meet drug addcts and they’re fine and nice and interesting for the while we hang out

At least that’s an interesting pattern

It’s not like I keep making friends with lonely fat girls lol I’d prefer the adrenaline jazz of a muscular addict than a sopping tubby chick

Fat girls just always suffocate me with their loneliness and they have a thing for me beinnamed Jacey and having long brown hair like jebus kristo

At least the addict guy accepts me when I tell him I’m gay; most of them stopped trying to get with me after I explained I am like a dude

I hate City shit and I hate university students and I hate cops and I hate dry lives

I like dreaming soldier First Nations rainbow tribe 🌈 heroes 🌟

And all the dead people who truly love their life and life altogether

My dead bro zack and his dreams for me are super appreciated and awesome

I like artists and dreamers and drifters and bewilderers and magical folk who do real magic

Magic is real more than dry life

I bring magic to the world

I believe in magic

Thank you my life!!

[thepakalakids]

Week 17 - Gavin - Wrapping Up

Oh, man... What a semester. Here’s an update on what’s going on:

This Week

I was still feeling overwhelmingly stressed over the week (and not the kind that makes me want to push forward and work hard). I still found it really difficult to focus on animation, so, rather than doing a poor job on two of the most important shots in the film, I just lined and colored another shot.

However, after so much frustration, I finally finished my art class and screenwriting class on Wednesday, and I have to say I’m feeling a lot better. I still have Producing, a speech to write, and my last week working for Brittany, but my head feels so much clearer that I think I’ll be able to finish more than I expected by next Thursday.

Just before posting this, I did a bit more compositing, did a layout of the credits, and added a tiny bit of animation based on a suggestion from Maia. Vicky is currently starting work on a rough sound cut for class tomorrow, so maybe we’ll have some sound to show during class!

For Next Week

Some goals I am setting for myself by next week:

I want to finish the very last shot of the film. I still think I need more time to think and study the final giggling shot, but I should be able to accomplish a walk cycle.

Suky should be finishing the long shot of Pākalā Village next week, so I just have to figure out some distant wave animation for that.

I want to get the end credits finalized. I believe all the text is correct, but I’m going to spend time with fonts (and getting more assets from Sophia) to make it look nice. I’m also not really liking the “Software” card after putting it in, but I’ll keep it there for now to keep the timing for when I have to put in the IndieGoGo card.

I’m FINALLY going to do that Master Use License. Oh my lord, I keep putting that off.

Retrospective

Wow, I just hated this semester. I hate the pandemic, I hate online classes, I hate Zoom. I hate that I lost all semblance of passion and ambition, and I especially hate that this is how I’m ending my college career. It sucks, and it’s been breaking me apart for months.

The Pākalā Kids, despite being the most simple in concept, was becoming my favorite and best film to date. While Midnight Showing was the culmination of everything I’ve learned in ACM, this film took the most important things: Story and Animation, and took a much deeper dive into them.

I’ve spent the past four semesters developing my voice as a filmmaker, and I did find it along the way. The Pākalā Kids is my first film that’s 100% told in that voice (and is well animated... sorry Down the Red Dirt Road). Once finished, I can see this film being my calling card for a long time.

Speaking of Down the Red Dirt Road, it feels like my ACM filmography has come full circle. I’ve always seen The Pākalā Kids as the thematic sequel to that film, and it’s cool to see how far I’ve come, but also how strong my artistic voice has been from the start.

I wish I had been able to finish, and I’m so sure that if I had been able to keep up my enthusiasm and drive, I would’ve been able to finish at least all of rough animation. I know I was riding on the promise that Pua Warriors would be done near the end of April, and I had planned to go full Midnight Showing force with the whole crew to finish Final and Color.

Oh, plans... What a silly concept.

Well, I didn’t get to finish, but what I did do has been incredibly strong. I truly believe that The Pākalā Kids is one of the best displays of character animation in recent ACM years. There are some shots I finished that I didn’t know I could even DO. A lot of that really is owed to the characters, who took a life of their own. As fun as Angel was to animate last semester, he was never quite as developed as Lani and Dixie, and I think strong characterization is the key to taking character animation to the next level.

Moving Forward

Of course I plan to finish the film. My goal, if I get help with Final and Color, is to finish it by the end of May or on the first few weeks of June.  Both Suky and Vicky are willing to stay on the project longer, which I am incredibly thankful for.

HIFF submissions are due near the end of June, so I want to be finished well before then. Hopefully I’ll be able to fundraise for other festivals too, though. I already have a strong list of festivals I want to submit to. Just in case, I’m going to save some of the existing budget for submissions.

To be very honest though, if HIFF ends up moving online this fall... I will seriously consider submitting for next year instead. Midnight Showing has been accepted to three now-online festivals (if you count ACM Showcase) and it kind of hurts watching it this way, knowing the ungodly amount of work the crew put into it. Hearing the live reaction of a theater audience is so much better than reading livestream comments or receiving a text about your film. I don’t think my little heart could take that for HIFF.

In terms of other projects: Well, first, I’m graduating! I hate HOW I’m graduating, but at least I’m done with these online classes. I’m coming out of ACM with 6 proper short animated films (4 of those I’ve directed), which is so much more than I ever expected. Looking back, I made the most of my time in ACM, and I’m proud of that. I’ve met so many great filmmakers and friends in this major, and I’ve grown so much with their help.

After graduation, I’m going to take a quick break and come back with a fresh mindset. I’ll continue working on Pua Warriors and see that project through. I also want to finally focus on putting together my portfolio website.

At the end of June, I mayyyy or mayyyy not be working for a certain streaming serviceee. I dunnooooo. Trying not to get my hopes up, but I got a bit of good news last weeeek!

And finally, I wrote a really solid screenplay in Joel’s class this semester. I showed it to Noe and Jared (and Alex, who’s in my class)... and I guess we’re gonna make it? It would be really cool to start development and pre-production this year, and perhaps turn it into a funded independent film. It would be pretty ambitious though. I would love for this to happen, but I’m gonna focus on these current films first.

With all this on the horizon, the future is looking just a little less frightening. So much is still uncertain, but I have hope.

[briangroth27]

Timeless Season 1 Review

Without a doubt, Timeless was my favorite new show of the season! The adventures of history professor Lucy (Abigail Spencer), pilot/tech genius Rufus (Malcolm Barrett), and soldier Wyatt (Matt Lanter) were a blast, zipping through American history to prevent a “madman” from changing it. Shawn Ryan, Eric Kripke, and the show’s writers added much more than a dash of historical accuracy to the Time Team’s exploits, providing real context to the events the team tried to preserve.

Full Spoilers...

Our Time Team was brought in by DHS Agent Denise Christopher (Sakina Jaffrey) and tech billionaire Connor Mason (Paterson Joseph) to catch former NSA asset Garcia Flynn (Goran Visnjic), who’d stolen Mason’s time machine to rewrite history and save his family from the shadowy Rittenhouse organization. Matters became increasingly complicated as Lucy’s sister Amy (Bailey Noble) was accidentally erased from the timeline, Rufus and his family were threatened by the scarily powerful and omnipresent Rittenhouse, and Wyatt was tormented by the death of his wife Jessica and whether or not he could prevent it. Spencer, Barrett, and Lanter were all excellent leads, bringing vulnerability, compassion, intelligence, humor, heroism, and just a touch of darker angst to roles that could’ve easily been one-dimensional. To that end, the series mined all the drama inherent in time travel and changes to the timeline; I was surprised from the get-go that things—at least minor ones—were allowed to change so much! For example, Lucy's comment about forgetting her sister's birthday, despite being the only person in her family who knew she existed, was heartbreaking. The reveal that she had a fiancee (Daniel Di Tomasso) in the newly altered timeline whom she’d never met could’ve been played with more, but I think it was best (and probably more realistic) for her to focus on the missions over that awkward situation. Wyatt trying to peacefully prevent Jessica's murderer from being born, even though time was fighting to maintain itself, was great drama too. His reaction when the killer’s father accidentally died was perfect and the crushing reveal that Jessica was still dead once he got home was brilliant. Rufus’ growing confidence in every area of his life was a great season-long arc that dovetailed perfectly with the steadily-developing bond within the Time Team, even as it was threatened by Rufus being an unlikely spy for Rittenhouse. Barrett brought great tension to Rufus as his turmoil over spying on his friends increased from episode to episode. I thought they’d play Rufus against Lucy and Wyatt for much longer than they did to build up a bigger betrayal, but I was pleasantly surprised he came clean rather quickly and the trio worked through it, enhancing their bond. I figured the team would go rogue eventually and I'm glad it happened before the season finale. More shows should take big risks like that rather than maintaining the status quo until “special event” episodes! 

The growing familial bond between the core trio over the course of their adventures was a joy to watch, while Agent Christopher and programmer Jiya (Claudia Doumit) seamlessly fit into the group as the season progressed. I was happy Jiya was more than just a generic love interest (as cute as her romance with Rufus is) and was his equal in the tech arena, holding her own to save the day when time was tight and the odds were against them. I was genuinely surprised we met Agent Christopher’s family and continued to follow her after she was dismissed from the time travel project. That felt like the natural time to cut off the Time Team’s resources, but the show surprised me by having her go rogue and join the team. I also liked that she trusted Lucy to keep a flash drive of her family on the Lifeboat time machine in case they were erased; that was really clever. Even Mason, who I thought was genuinely a bad guy, shocked me when his self-interest (at least) won out, landing him on the Time Team's side at the last second. 

I liked that Flynn wasn’t the purely evil villain he was initially made out to be, since he really was trying to save his family. It was smart to make him the extreme version of our heroes; not only did that make him a great foil for them, but at several points late in the season I thought each member of the Time Team was just a slight push away from being ready to join him. As much as Agent Christopher arresting Flynn before he could save his family (as Lucy had promised him) in the end will make him even more of an enemy, I wouldn’t be surprised if Flynn joined the Time Team next season. I can’t wait to find out when Lucy will return the journal to him and what the circumstances of Future Lucy reaching out to him—as a last hope?—are! Matt Frewer was solid in a supporting role as Anthony Bruhl, one of Flynn’s allies and Rufus’ former friend, lending a nice bit of conflict to the villains’ side of the show. The third prominent member of Flynn’s team, Emma Whitmore (Annie Wersching), proved to be calculating and capable, making her a good foil for Flynn’s more emotionally-driven methods.

Rittenhouse was a great enemy waiting in the shadows, ever-present and ready to strike, but also just out of sight. Getting Armin Shimerman to play the original Rittenhouse back in the Revolutionary War era was excellent casting! Since the organization was so powerful and imposing, I was surprised at how low-key their seeming defeat actually was. I'd like to think bringing them down by documenting all of Rittenhouse’s affairs over half a century was inspired/foreshadowed by the team’s adventure with Elliot Ness (Micha Collins) and Al Capone (Cameron Gharaee), since that’s how he was brought down before they changed history. I was expecting big changes to the timeline with Rittenhouse finally removed from the past, but this was just as satisfying. It was truly shocking that Lucy's mom Carol (Susanna Thompson) was revealed as a member of Rittenhouse too! The status quo seems to be shattered and I can't believe any of the Time Team would work with the government ever again. Are they going to join Flynn (maybe he shares some of his plutonium to power the Lifeboat) to stop Rittenhouse from creating their “perfect” future?

Many of the show’s historical guest stars were very entertaining! Harry Houdini (Michael Drayer), Bonnie & Clyde (Jacqueline Byers & Sam Strike), Ernest Hemingway (Brandon Barash), and Josephine Baker (Tiffany Daniels) were definitely among my favorites, but all of them added an engaging aspect to the weekly adventures. My absolute favorites had to the real-life inspirations for the Lone Ranger and Tonto, Bass Reeves and Grant Johnson. Reeves’ moral code played extremely well against Wyatt’s increasing difficulty with not taking more action to save Jessica, spurring a great debate about heroes and killing. On a side note, I’d love it if Timeless’ creators made a Lone Ranger series starring Coleman Domingo and Zahn McClarnon (Reeves and Johnson here), mixing Bass Reeves’ historical past with the Lone Ranger mythos! The temporal guest stars gave the show a great, varied texture: moments like actor John Wilkes Booth (Kelly Blatz) practicing his lines before committing an assassination were hilarious and the team getting to co-star in a new James Bond book/film after teaming up with Ian Fleming (Sean Maguire) was very cool! Other historical figures became well-written parallels to our heroes, like Werner Von Braun (Christian Oliver) and Rufus, or H.H. Holmes’ (Joel Johnstone) victims and the unexplained death of Wyatt’s wife. It was also great to learn new things about history, like the fact that Al Capone had a brother in law enforcement (Mather Zickel) and Jesse James (Daniel Lissing) was a psychopath instead of some noble outlaw of the Old West. Some of the changes to history, like General Cornwallis (Brad Dryborough) and Elliot Ness getting killed, genuinely shocked me (particularly as Micha Collins’ role as Ness had been so hyped online).

The show’s aesthetic was polished and sleek while staying true to the grit of war zones and the Old West when the story brought the characters there. There was a definite formula to many of the episodes—a necessary evil, as they had to show us how history really went before showing it change—but I don’t think it hurt the series at all. When they did play with the formula, like Wyatt and Rufus’ reverse-Back to the Future attempt to stop Jessica’s killer from being born and episode 7, which opened with the team being stranded during the French and Indian War, it was a great change of pace! I loved the smart writing, which injected a lot of humanity, humor, and drama into the proceedings while deftly including history lessons that never felt like lectures. I do think the series’ ratings were damaged by the timeslot (10 pm on Mondays); there was nothing content-wise that required that time and Timeless would’ve been great as an 8 pm show, given the all-ages tone. While it would conflict with The CW’s similarly-toned superhero shows Mondays-Wednesdays, maybe Timeless season 2 could find a home on Thursdays as counter-programming to ABC’s TGIT or on Fridays.

All the time-travel physics were well-explained over the course of the season, but I do have one theoretical question: they can't go back to where they've gone before, but what if they showed up a couple of days before an earlier trip to the same time zone? What would happen if they accidentally stayed past the barrier into their previous trip to that time and crossed the time streams, as it were? I think there’s a great “ticking clock” plot in there. The one area that I’d say the show could go further—and perhaps this is about to be addressed with Rittenhouse rewriting the timeline as they see fit—is that we should probably start seeing an increasingly altered future as more and more trips are taken to the past. As pointed out by the Bitter Script Reader on Twitter, this would eventually render Lucy ineffective as she knows less and less about the new history (unless her role shifts to documenting the history that was), but I don’t think the show should be afraid to go big on the changes.  

I had a plethora of crazy theories about how the show could twist the plot and the timeline: Was Flynn from the future? Could he be Lucy’s son? Amy’s son, now existing only because he was outside the timeline when it changed and she was erased? Lucy’s father? Someone sent back in time by a future Lucy? Could one of the accidental changes to history bring back Wyatt’s wife Jessica? Did Rittenhouse kill her in the first place? Is Wyatt going to kill the parents of her killer to save her? If they eliminate Rittenhouse, will Lucy be born? Will Rufus get caught playing double agent? Will the Time Team find themselves aligned with Flynn by the season finale? I love theorizing and I love when shows fool me even more. Timeless did that often, and their reveals were never disappointing compared to my theories.

I can’t wait to see where this show goes if it gets a second season! Jessica’s death is still super suspicious; I’m 100% positive it was carried out by Rittenhouse (and they just used a different killer once Wyatt eliminated the original one from the timeline), and I can’t believe Wyatt is really ready to let it lie. If it was Rittenhouse, why would they have her killed? Was she involved with them too? Could Rittenhouse’s plans to create their perfect world bring Jessica back? The one thing I don’t need to see is Lucy and Wyatt together romantically. I know it's big in the fandom—at least on Twitter—but to me, it's clear he absolutely still loves Jessica and until he can't possibly bring her back, I don't see him moving on. Wyatt and Lucy do have chemistry, but it doesn't feel romantic from his side. Lucy’s maybe, but Wyatt seems unwavering in his devotion to his wife. I still think it'd be gut-wrenchingly brilliant if they discovered that Lucy's dad killed her, so the only way to save Jessica would be to kill him before Lucy's conceived. 

Are Wyatt and Rufus going to break Flynn out of prison so he can help rescue Lucy from her mom and retake the Lifeboat? Will Lucy ever find a way to get Amy back? I don't see why Lucy drew a connection between her mom's illness and Amy existing, but if they are connected somehow, that’d certainly be surprising. Are we going to see Lucy fill out the journal, now that she has it? Will we see Flynn time travel to meet older Lucy, or are we going to see her grow to a point where she sends him back in time? Will Mason’s self-serving nature continue to supply the team indefinitely, or are those resources shut off for good? What’s secret Rittenhouse agent Emma Whitmore off to destroy? Is my sister right, and Jiya’s visions of the past will give the Time Team their history-saving missions by cluing them in to what Whitmore is changing? 

Whatever they have in store, I’ll be very disappointed if NBC doesn’t bring Timeless back for another season! The cast, writing, and historical nature of the show are all top-notch. #RenewTimeless, indeed!

[some-far-far-away-land]

Day 9

So Lisa won't talk me still, she says she needs time and I understand. I just hope she lets me clear up somethings before she decides to dump me as her friend. I know I'm thinking pretty negatively but when your best friend blocks you, unfriends you, says she's lost respect for you, and that she's not your friend anymore, I think I can think like that, just a bit. 

It's 1:04am and it's been an interesting time back in Waterloo. I talked to Billy for a bit. He was just helping me with the whole Lisa situation, because my sister wasn't any help, she is mature but she can still be pretty immature and petty, but you know I get where she's coming from and she's my sister and she gonna defend me and stand up for me till the very end. Then I talked to Abi a bit and explained to her about the whole reason why I felt hurt on Friday, and she understood where I was coming from but we both said that Lisa may not and may think I'm attacking her again. Then I talked by best best friend Anna for a bit but she fell asleep on me, she had a long day well actually a long ass week so I'm not gonna hold that against her. 

Anyways yea I tried to reach out to Lisa and try and talk to her today to fix this mess but she said she doesn't want to see me and that she doesn't want to talk and that she needs space. I'll respect that. The other odd thing that happened today was, I come home and I expect that my key is on my table from when thavi was last here, it's not. So I message him about it and he says yea I have it I forgot to drop it off, sorry. He also spilled my super glue all over my table. He said that he didn't know what happened and that he was pretty drunk that night. So I was like ok. I asked if I could see him for a bit today, but mostly to get my key back. He said he worked till 8 and I was okay I won't be back till then and I won't take up your time I know you have to sleep before you work. Doesn't reply for a bit so I assumed everything was cool. Then when 8 comes around he messages me "I can talk now if u want and I dropped off your key at Lisa's." 

First of all I thought you were gonna come see me and second off if you really had to be somewhere and you were already less then 30 secs away why the heck did you not return my key to me? Lisa and I aren't even talking at the moment. If you really couldn't hangout/catch up you could have just said so. I just wanted my key back, which by the way you had all week to return, you were at Lisa's on Friday to so you could have just dropped it off then. At this point I was just mad that he couldn't just say, "I can drop your key off but I can't stay, we see each other sometime this week or whenever but i have somewhere to be." I would have been fine with something like this. Relieved actually. 

I even told him like I have no other intentions other then to catch up a bit and get my stuff back. If anything I should make you pay for the damage u did to my table but I didn't say anything. On Wednesday when we had like a closure talk, closure for me I guess, he told me that he still wanted to be my friend and that he doesn't want me to completely disappear from his life and that he'd like a friendship when and if I was ever ready for it, I just had to give him a shout. He said that he'll always be there for me. And here I am 9 days later, feeling pretty good and actually just asking as a friend to catch up and you bring up this stuff; "Okay, I don't want this to turn into another argument. We broke up not to long ago and I still need time to myself before we talk again. I don't want to go into this talk with hard feelings involved. We'll keep in touch." 

Soooo many contradicting words here. I mean I know a lot can change from Wednesday to now. Maybe he caught wind from Lisa about our big fight, but 1. This wasn't an argument, I was just stating facts, I don't want to waste time arguing with you. 2. We talked on Wednesday, you seemed fine, and earlier you even said you were okay talking. 3. What hard feelings? Last time we talked there weren't any hard feelings, from you or me, I guess you have hard feelings because I'm kind of over this situation not much feelings honestly. 4. You're the one who said I can reach out to you as a friend when I'm ready, and now you need space?! I'm so confused. 5. Even if you had heard about my fight with Lisa I would have thought you were at least the type of person to hear my side of the story instead of basing it off one side. I mean I know I'm an ex but don't I at least get that kind of respect or consideration? like dang...

I guess me expecting things to change because I wasn't around anymore wasn't wise of me to think. I mean I thought he would mature a bit from this situation but I guess I was wrong. From my perspective he's just going back to old ways and falling back on habits that aren't helping him. Like him potentially already going on dates again, like wtf?

If you're really serious about figuring your life out and getting your shit together (which by the way was one of the biggest reasons why you ended this relationship) maybe instead of focusing on superficial things like photo shoots, what kind of hair you want to have next, when you should fill up your tattoo, what kind of glasses you'll buy next, and what clothes will make you look like g, you should start reflecting and thinking about the things that will actually move you forward so you're not stuck in the same place for the rest of your life. I mean if you're okay with this forever then thats your prerogative, but don't tell people something else and have them motivate you and genuinely help when all you want is their attention...

 *sigh* 

Man I guess I did have some hard feelings lol but you know at the end of it all, I can honestly say, thanks to God and Joel Osteen, that I don't really care what he does anymore. I've dropped it, left it, and moved on. All the negative thoughts or emotions I had left for this situation I gave them up to God and I feel so light and less burdened. 

both these situations, Lisa and Thavi, I extended an olive branch, but they still seem like they want to fight. Like all this negativity, I don’t know if I really want it in my life at this point. 

Well it's like 1:48am now I think I've rambled for too long. I'm gonna try and make it to my 10am class... I say try because I've been sleeping till 12pm the past 9 days, i dont know if I can get up in 6 hrs for this class lol

[pinkalexlive]

hgnnn fuckkkk wisdom teeth suck

sorry I haven’t been doin this much, I found a cool new thing last Wednesday and kinda got hooked so if you wanna see me put a mini version of me through various universes, here’s some of my writing! https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/jumpchain-multicross-si-crossing-via-field.826356/

Anyway. Time to do this. Caps are being used, grammar is activated, I’m ready to be professional.

Last time on Pact: I like Blake and he’s seeing magical visions, Paige is the good cousin, Molly’s ded.

This time on Pact!

I was dressed and heading out the door in less than a minute, a plain black toque pulled over my hair.

Good hustle my boi good job.

Mirror people, visions of talking dogs and stretched faces, vampire hunters or witch hunters or whatever they were.  It was unbelievable, impossible to wrap my head around.  So I didn’t believe it, didn’t try to understand it.  I didn’t disbelieve it either.  I was processing it, really, filing it all away for future consideration.

I’m really happy to see a protagonist that didn’t just discredit the crazy stuff. He saw weird dreams, but he doesn’t feel they’re dreams. It’s a nice breath of fresh air.

Molly and Paige had been the ones to greet me with smiles on their faces, to hug me instead of offering an informal handshake.  We’d played together, laughed, and bridged the gap between being family to being friends.

Ooh, I really hope Paige stays okay. At least one of the good cousins needs to make it out alive.

Molly’s death wouldn’t have been random.  There had been a reason, and that reason had driven my grandmother to do what she’d done.  All of the fallout from that, the divide in the family, the animosity that had driven me from home to a cold, hostile, unfriendly world, shared that same root cause.  It was hard to pin how much of my haste was self preservation and how much was my desire to get answers. 

I have a feeling that the grandma killed Molly not out of a deliberate choice, but out of inaction. She dumped this on Molly, Molly wasn’t ready to handle, somebody killed Molly. 

The door opened, and my bear of a landlord stood in the way, leveling a stare at me.

HE’S EVIL I’M CALLING IT

“Yeah?”  He switched from annoyance to concern in an instant.  “Need a ride?”

Or??

“I think my cousin died.  It’s two hours away, so if you needed the car, I could bring it back in a pinch, figure a way to get back, or-”

“Shhh,” he interrupted me.  I made myself stop.  Very calm, soothing, he said, “It’s fine.  I’m so sorry about your cousin, baby.”

I shrugged, breaking eye contact.  I wasn’t good with people being kind to me.  Not without some warning.  “I’m not sure it’s true.  It doesn’t make sense.”

“Go, do what you need to do,” he said.  He extended his hand, keys dangling from the ring that was now around his middle finger.

Nah, he’s evil. I have bad vibes. Idk why, but he’s givin me bad vibes. I want him to just be a nice landlord but come on, he’s a landlord in a Wideboy book. 

“Speaking of… weren’t you going to set things up for Goosh’s show?”

I winced.  My job.  “I didn’t think.  I don’t- shit.”

“It’s fine.  I’ll explain to the others.  We’ll use the Sisters.”

Immediate flashbacks to Skyward Sword. Also, these sisters sound ominous.

I could see movement behind Joel.  The girl in the mirror, moving her arms.

The girl in the mirror raised her arms.  Forearms crossed against one another, forming an ‘x’.

“Go back to bed.  Sleep.  I’ve got a bad feeling, and I’m not sure if it’s just because I feel like you’ll never get back to bed if you go now or if it’s something else.  But I’ve got to go, and I feel like I’d be a lot happier if I knew you were in bed, instead of wandering around a dark building alone.”

Blake is a smart protagonist, not in the ‘I can build cool sci-fi tech’ way, but in the genre-savvy, ‘takes things as he sees them’ way. I guess I mean Wisdom wasn’t his dump stat. I’m so down for that.

“Gut feeling?” he asked.  “That’s not like you.”

“Gut feeling,” I said.  “Instincts.”

Oh my gosh, if a gut feeling is a kind of magic in here, I’m gonna be sad and happy. I literally use that in my own grimdark supernatural horror whatever story. Stop taking my ideas, good authors!

The girl in the mirror looked nervous, pacing back and forth, occasionally peering around, as if she could get a different perspective.  A moment later, she strode out of view, stepping beyond the boundaries of the frame.

My guess? She’s Molly, but something magical is keeping Blake from recognizing her. Calling it.

I unlocked Joel’s Corolla, a car old enough that the only way to open the door was to actually put the key in the lock, and then stopped.

COROLLA DRIVERS REPRESENT!

I moved the rear-view mirror until I had a view of the girl in the back seat.

“Answers,” I said.

“Go, and I’ll give you answers,” she responded.  She sounded even fainter and more muffled than before.  “You think the lights went out by coincidence?”

I wonder if this mirror girl is gonna stick around through the book. That’d be a cool companion.

“Rose.”

“Rose… who are you supposed to be?  My grandmother?”

“No.  I think I’m you.  Your- our parents named me after her.”

Of course. Mirror world. Alternate dimension. Alternate timeline Blake! Also, I knew before but it’s nice to see confirmation that the grandma is named Rose so I can call her that. Except... now there are two Rose people so I still have to say grandma. Actually, maybe I’m paranoid, but what if Rose is full of shit here and not actually Blake at all. She did slip up on the parents line...

“I’m you, with one fundamental difference,” Rose elaborated.  “I’m a girl.  I think grandmother is trying to game the system somehow.  A failsafe or trap or something, that kicks in when Molly dies and the inheritance turns over.”

That’s terrifying and brilliant if grandma could just change a whole reality like that just to make a failsafe.

“Not the time consuming kind of complicated.  This stuff was explained to me.  I crashed into existence, with only a few places I could go.  I’ve got a lifetime of memories, but I get that I’m a fake.”

I keep getting immediately proven wrong. Rose isn’t from another world, she just kinda popped into existence for all of this. I think. Who explained it to her? Grandma Rose? But either way, this description of how she exists is really unnerving. Living in the mirrors would suck.

“The lawyer, Beasley, he was cleaning up.  Picking up books and stuff that Molly left lying around.  When I asked what was going on, he said you were next in line, for custody of the house.  After you, it’s Kathy, then Ellie, then Roxanne, then Ivy, then Paige.”

Huh. I wonder why Paige is last. Unless what Peter said really fucked the grandma’s opinion of Paige up, there’s foul play here.

“How do your memories line up?  Molly got picked, but… you were at the house?”

“I was home, with mom and dad.  They’re mad, you know, obviously, because I didn’t get Hillsglade House, and they thought it was as close to a given as you could get.  Mad at me, especially.  I was in bed, mostly asleep, and then I was at the house.  I remember everything about my life, but I don’t feel like I experienced any of it.  You know?”

More Rose knowledge. So she has her whole life’s memories until some point after grandma died. But that was all downloaded into her instead of actually living it, then she was brought to this mirror dimension. Creepy.

[southernconundrum-blog]

Making a Case for 13 Going on 30.

I can still remember my Wednesday evening History of Film class in Film school. (Yes I went to film school, we can still like cheesy rom-coms) And the night my professor, a former DP for Columbia during the “golden age of film” stood in front of the entire class and proclaimed we were about to view, what most experts call the greatest film of all time. You guessed it, Citizen Kane. 

He went on to explain that what made it so great was the technicality and the innovation of it. The first film to use flashback and continuous wide shots, blah blah. I thought it was a snooze fest of straight white male nonsense. Yeah technically it’s cool they did all that with cut and paste film. I respect that shit, I do. But Citizen Kane is one of the most un-relatable stories ever. At least to me as a gay woman. It’s like the Catcher in the Rye of film. I have a hard time identifying with rich white dudes who feel like they don’t belong in a world created for and by them. If anyone actually read this blog I bet I’d get ALL the haters up in here leaving me comments about how oppressed men are now. Do it. I masturbate with male tears.

ANYWAYS. Fuck Citizen Kane in it’s boring ass face. I’m here to talk about the greatest movie of all time. The movie that is best picture every year in my heart and soul always and the one movie by which every other movie is measured. 13 Going on Motherfucking 30.

Yes it’s entertaining. Yes it’s a feel good romish-com with a cute cast. Yes it has Judy Greer. But what makes it the best? I’ll break it down for you.

CAST:

We all know about JGar and MRuff, and before we get to Judy Greer, let’s talk about the supporting cast: 

Christa B Allen 

For you true Jgar fans you’ll note that this was not Christa’s only time playing a young Jen. She also does in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (another one of my faves but more problematic). Christa’s got the looks and the chops. She’s not only a dead ringer for the younger Rink, she’s also actually a great actress. Here’s what she looks like now BTW.

Pretty fucking spot on from the casting director I’d say. So if Christa B. Allen was the homerun, Sean Marquette (young MRUFF) is the grand slam. 

Then and now:

Yeah that could be Mark Ruffalo in the early 2000′s. And Sean does a great job himself in the younger role. Moving on.

BRIE OSCAR WINNER CAPTAIN MARVEL LARSON

In a bit part with ONE freaking line. She nailed it by the way. That’s how extra this movie is. Oscar winners as basically extras.

FUN FACT THAT ONLY A PSYCHO WOULD KNOW:

When Jenna is looking at her yearbook with Matty years later, it flashes this picture of the Six Chicks:

Notice Jenna is now “practically their leader” and Brie Larson is nowhere to be found. Presumably she has already been kidnapped and is in ROOM. Too dark? Or too REAL.

ANDY FUCKING SERKIS

You can use IMDB to go through this guy’s laundry list of amazing credits. And don’t stop at Gollum in LOTR because he was basically just getting started in this bitch. He’s also an accomplished director. He plays Jenna and Lucy’s (tom-tom) boss and the editor of Poise magazine. He’s also gay bc representation in 2004 hella mattered.

KATHY BAKER (Jenna’s mom)

Where have you seen her? Bitch, everywhere. She has a staggering list of nominations and awards from film, tv and stage where she’s had a phenomenal career. My favorite roles are between that gem up there in Edward Scissorhands and the woman of many marriages in the Jane Austen Book Club. She’s a legend and she’s NOT EVEN THE STAR OF THIS FILM.

Marcia DeBonis (Jenna’s admin asst)

It’s easier to tell you what she HASN’T been in. Like Kathy Baker, she’s made a career out of small, scene stealing roles. She also has a pretty impressive career in casting. 

I’m not going do Jen and Mark because we all know all of their shit. I’m the biggest JGar fan on earth so don’t get me started, but they are obviously mega stars and I need to save some room for.......here it comes...it’s finally here...you know it was coming..and here WE. FUCKING. GO.

JUDITH THERESE EVANS GREER

If Judy BAD BITCH OF LIFE Greer is in a movie? I’m seeing it. Why? BC SHE’s in EVERY MOVIE. Judy Greer is a brilliant silky chameleon with ferrari engine precision comedic timing. I would say she ties with Melanie Lynksey for all time underrated actress in history, but I think she pushes just past her since her body of work is unbelievably large. She has done indie, rom-com, sci-fi blockbuster, you name it. She can and has done anything and everything and I love her with every sad and broken cell in my fangirl body. She doesn’t support scenes, she carries them. And the only reason you think someone else is the star is because Judy wants you to think that. There are like 2 people on this Earth I love as much as I love Judy Greer and they are basically my mom and Claire Danes. She is an angel we do not deserve sent to us straight from a place we can never know. I legitimately worry that not enough people know what a treeey zzzurrre we have in Judy. I will do whatever I can to always spread the Gospel of Greer in this flaming shit bag of a world. If you haven’t seen Addicted to Fresno, please excuse yourself from whatever meaningless nonsense you’re doing right now to go watch it. Thanks.

STORY

A perfect cast, and yes this is one, does not a good film make on it’s own (see all those shitty Gary Marshall vignette films). 

Lucky for us we also have a perfect story.  This film has everything: redemption, friendship, love, betrayal, materialism, capitalism, competition, fucking TIME TRAVEL. And a dance number to goddamn Thriller. 

This movie created the catch-phrase, “Fabuloso”, which would eventually become the best smelling cleaning product of all time. It brought back Razzles, no doubt saving that entire brand from bankruptcy. It has complicated parental relationships, complex female friendships, a pre-wedding love confession scene, an NYC fall photoshoot montage, an accidentally fall-down kiss scene, a popular high school guy now a balding loser scene, a heroine saves the magazine scene, and a Pat Benetar slumber party pillow fight. 

SETTING

NEW. MOTHERFUCKING. YORK. CITY. Is there any other place where a 30 year old can be the editor of a fashion magazine and live in an $8 million apartment???

SOUNDTRACK

I mean, you’ve got The Go-Go’s, Whitney Houston, Madonna, Billy Joel, Liz Phair, Rick Springfield, Talking Heads, Soft Cell, I COULD ON AND ON. 

CONCLUSION

I am a rom-com SLUT. I have seen all of them, but this one is the stand out. Instead of limiting Jenna to the “she falls in love and finally changes her life” trope, it explores ALL the reasons Jenna’s life went off track. Not just because she lost her best friend along the way, but because now she’s dishonest, disloyal, and though she has the trappings of the life she dreamed of, she isn’t the person she thought she would be. In fact, Matty is not even the main thread of all of it. 

The takeaway here is that being present is more important than worrying and wishing about the future.Which is actually some intense deep Buddhist shit. 

By living in the moment we’re in, we can shape our lives however we want. Jenna was so intent on creating her idea of a perfect life, that she missed what was right in front of her. When she got a glimpse of what she thought she wanted, she realized how empty it was. The money, the cool job, the $8 million apartment doesn’t mean shit when you don’t have any real connections to anyone. And is there any better moment then when she goes back to her closet birthday party, kisses Matty and slams Tom-Tom’s drink in her face and calls her a “Biatch”? NO. It’s the most satisfying moment in American cinema. 

TWO THINGS

1.This movie has 0 diversity and is 100% straight white people problems. I acknowledge it. It is problematic. I don’t know what to say. It was the time, I didn’t make the movie, and thank the lorde things are changing.

2.Lucy’s take on Poise re-branding was 100,000% better than that Abercrombie bullshit Jenna came up. Don’t @ me.

JUDY GREER 2020

[birnblog]

Gabe Dixon Releases “Live In Boston”

Nashville-based singer-songwriter Gabe Dixon releases his new album, Live in Boston on September 8, on BirnCORE. On the album, recorded at Berklee’s Red Room at Cafe 939 in September of 2016, Dixon delivers a blistering nine song solo set featuring some of his most popular songs, including “Crave,” “Flow Like Wine” and “All Will Be Well”.

We were fortunate to get Gabe to answer some of our questions about his career and the new release:

BIRN: What about this release, are you most looking forward to sharing with your fans?

GD: This is the first solo-piano live record I’ve released. When it's just me and a piano, it’s a much more intimate experience, and the focus is squarely on the songs. I have been doing a lot of solo touring over the past couple of years, and I’m glad to be able to give fans a little peak into what that experience is like.

BIRN: You co-wrote several of the tracks with Dan Wilson (Semisonic/Pink/Adele/The Dixie Chicks). What is the dynamic like between you, when you write together?

GD: I think Dan Wilson is one of the best songwriters of our time. He is a great artist in his own right, but he also has a gift for finding the kernel of honesty and truth in what other artists are trying to say and helping to develop it. Sometimes I brought in an idea, sometimes he did, and sometimes we started from scratch. He is a joy to work with, and the songs we have written together are some of my and my fans’ favorites.

BIRN: What are your favorite and not-so-favorite aspects of touring?

GD: I’ve gotten good at traveling. I can kill time on long drives like nobody’s business, but the hardest part of touring is when it goes on for too long—when I lose touch with loved ones back home, and I start to miss my own bed and creature comforts. Late nights and early mornings aren’t fun either. When I don’t sleep enough, life gets rough. But that moment on stage when I’m not thinking, and I know that everything I do is in the flow and working, and fans are singing along and loving it, and people tell me after a show that my music has helped or healed them somehow. Those things makes the more difficult parts of touring worth it.

BIRN: What was it like playing live with Paul McCartney at The Concert for New York City?

GD: Playing with Paul was a dream come true. When I was a kid, his music was one of the reasons I decided to play music at all. I had spent 6-weeks in 2001 working with him on his Driving Rain album. Then 9/11 happened, and I, like everyone in the country, wanted to do something to help out after that tragic event. Paul organized a concert at Madison Square Garden to benefit the NYC firefighters and their families and asked me to play keyboards with him. Getting to make music with my musical hero as we helped the country come together and heal was more emotional and inspiring than I can put into words. I am so grateful to have gotten to be a part of it. Plus, I got to jam on “Let It Be” with Paul, Billy Joel, and Eric Clapton, I mean come on! That was ridiculously awesome.

BIRN: What inspired you to strike out on your own as a solo artist? How has your sound evolved, since you made the shift?

GD: My band members and I are still great friends, but it’s hard to keep a band together. We had a good run and awesome musical chemistry, but after a while, life gets complicated, and it’s hard to coordinate that many lives and schedules. I found out that my wife was pregnant with our first child on the same day that one of my band members quit, and instead of trying to replace him, I decided that it was the right time to set out on my own. I was always the sole singer/songwriter in the band anyway, and I felt like after 10 years, it was time to explore other avenues. I have put out a couple of albums since then. The first one, One Spark, was kind of a pop-rock thing, recorded with some fantastic LA musicians, and the most recent one, Turns To Gold, recorded in Nashville, has a more Americana feel to it. No matter what kind of record I make though, the process always starts with me singing and playing the piano. That’s part of why I wanted to release this solo live record, because I think it puts the listener closer to the heart of the songs themselves.

BIRN: You’re a Nashville native. What was it like growing up there? What kind of music were you into? How has the scene changed in Nashville over the last few years?

GD: Nashville is a great town for a musician to grow up in. I started hanging out in recording studios and playing in bands around town when I was 12.  Most people probably think of Nashville as a country music town, but even when I was a kid, the music scene was pretty diverse. I remember seeing Bela Fleck and the Flecktones perform downtown when I was 8 years old. I blew my mind. I didn’t know musicians could be that good. I studied music and classical piano at Vanderbilt’s Blair School of Music from age 7 until 18. Edgar Meyer and Marc O’Connor both taught there and would sometimes give free performances in the concert hall. In high school, I used to hang out at a coffee shop where Jeff Coffin played jazz every Wednesday night. Now he is a member of the Dave Matthews Band. When I was 16, one of my favorite keyboard players, Reece Wynans, started playing every Monday night in a blues band at the Bluebird Cafe, right down the street from where I lived. I would sit 3 feet away from him and just watch and learn. Since that time, people have come to recognize Nashville as the rich musical environment that it is, which has caused more people from diverse musical backgrounds to make it their home. I think that's a great thing for the city. And of course, the songwriting scene is second to none. If you think you’re a good songwriter or musician, Nashville will show you that you’re not! I know I’ve been knocked down a peg or two many times over the years! But that’s cool. . . It keeps my ego in check.

Get Live In Boston here.

[dressedupkiss]

84 days

12 weeks until March 2021.

Twelve weeks doesn’t sound like much.

But I don’t have much to do in my days so the time goes by sort of slowly but at a decent pace. I don’t have any habitual places to go or things to do.

Sometimes I play guitar and ukulele, I sing every now and then each day, I listen to music, I browse the internet...

Sometimes I go for walks but not much in winter time like now. I meditate and burn plan material, sometimes smudging sometimes smoking. I watch movies sometimes.

I lay in my bed basically all day long. Some days I will exercise for around an hour. But most of the time I feel like laying down. I do my laundry and dishes. I keep my place tidy as I can with all these random things.

I won’t be having any visitors anytime soon. My best friend stayed for over a week and left yesterday evening. I’m gonna be alone for a few weeks until Christmas dinners start happening. I’ll get money for Christmas from my dad and I’m not gonna get much from anyone but I don’t mind. It’ll be a chill Xmas this year.

It’s the 7th Monday and on Wednesday I get the dreaded injection again. Oh well. I had a bad dream about having to take another med and it was really stupid, it’s like a hospital and my elementary school and people are bothering me about my health. But there was a sexy lady turning me on so that felt good. She was a redhead and really beautiful.

I’m gonna try to spend lots of money on my MasterCard this month and next month. My friend gave me money for staying here so that covers my Mc payment. I spend $70 extra dollars this month so far though and I usually don’t do that. Oh well.

I just paid 120 on my mc and I have $394 for 20 more days this month. I’ll have free food a few times for early Xmas dinner and on Xmas dinner and I’ll stay at my moms and get fed on Boxing Day too. And my dad will give me money so I’ll have $19 a day for food and any money my dad gives me I will save for my MasterCard.

I’m at $1006 and now $886 but there is about $11 in interest each month so $897 I’ll be at. Hopefully I can spend another hundred on it later this month or next month. I’ll save it for January. And in January I get gst cheque of $160 so I’ll save that for February.

Feb and March will be low fund months cuz I only get $484 a month for all my bills and food and I have to put $120 on my Mc each month at least. So that’s $364 for food in feb and March. Hopefully my dad will get my groceries again for those months.

And then in April I will get $160 gst again which will help and I’ll put it all on my Mc.

I will be paid off by July next year by paying my most reasonable amount and not overdoing it. I should be saving my money to put every little extra bit on my mc but if I just have until summer to have to keep paying I think that will be okay.

I won’t have much extra spending money for the whole summer but I guess I will have to manage. Hopefully my dad buys me groceries and that lasts me all month long so I can buy little extra things here and there. I like spending my money on cool things and treating myself.

I’m glad I’ll be debt free next year. I spent $105 while Joel stayed with me. I bought cds and a sweater and random snacks here and there. At least it was only a hundred but that’s still a lot. Joel’s influence has me spending my dough. But they gave me $150 so I guess I spent my extra. And I paid my Mc and I still have a reasonable amount for food. Roughly $20 a day isn’t bad for a month. And I’ll get Xmas food.

If I can go the rest of this week without buying anything I’ll have a lot extra money. I’ll have to eat rice and soup and such. I have bananas and apples and not much of an appetite. So it should work out. I might even have extra for my Mc which would be awesome.

I want to pay it off before July, maybe I will get lots of birthday money in April and I can use that on it. That would be so nice to spend summer with all my extra money, having my full $484 for everything. I shouldn’t have spent money on random bullshit in earlier months this year but I guess I wasn’t thinking. I remember wasting $70 on clothes I don’t need. Oh well.

I’ve wasted a lot of money on clothes in my life. I’m doing better now but still spending on cds and stuff but I need these cds cuz they are super important music to me. Even though I won’t have a lot of extra spending money I’ll still spend money on things. I try to buy low money food and not eat out much. I think everything will work out and I’ll be paid off before July. I’m excited to be debt free, I will feel so proud.

Joel gets me into money issues kind of. They had $1500 to themselves this month and they’ve already spent almost all of it and it’s only the 7th. They really know how to waste money. I know how to spend and still save and not spend when I’m getting low. If I had $1500 to myself without having to pay rent I would have paid off my credit cards. I’m glad I only have the one credit card.

I’m waiting for my hair to grow and for my Mc to be paid off. I don’t have much else to wait for. I don’t know what kinds of fun things will be happening in springtime summertime because of covid. I wonder if they will solve the virus and everyone can go back to normal. I’m not afraid of the virus and I want to meet new people. But all in due time.

I’m alone a lot but I need to be. Having one best friend who is spiritually inclined and Métis and two spirited is fulfilling enough for my social life. I don’t need much socialization. I like the peace and quiet of the world. I like meditating and praying and being silent and chilling out. I don’t like bullies or loud mouths or rude people. I don’t like dirty stinky people that want to ruin a pure persons clean. I like being clean. I’m also wild and respectful. I love nature and nature loves me. I’m ready for the spring.

I’m gonna be on social assistance for a few more years probably. I don’t know how or where I’ll get a part time job eventually but that will probably be good for me. I just want to keep chilling out for now though.

I get all my time to myself to do whatever I want. That’s a blessing of mine. I’m never bothered by anyone and nobody expects any responsibilities of me except myself. I gotta keep my clothes and dishes clean and bedsheets and body. I have good hygiene and I’m attractive and in decent shape. I’ve got extra tummy poundage but it’s ok it’s not that bad but it’s not the best.

I’m very comfortable and I feel good here. The breeze kisses me and I have a spirit with me that encourages me to feel my best. When I look in the mirror I see beautiful eyes and a nice face. I like myself.

I still dream of Laura a bit but I know I’ll have to wait for death or a miracle day to have any time with her. She completely disregarded my need for love and hurt me deeply. She still looks fun and beautiful but she is not that way to me. Only in my visions is she kind and giving. When I die I will have a lot of satisfying conversations.... in my dreams last night there was a sort of video game with Laura in a car and she was in a wheelchair too and I laughed at her for having a problem in life. Some part of me wants her to have a hard time cuz she made me have such difficult moments for so many years. Her consciousness is riddled with drugs and abuse and she hurt my soul deeply. When I am dead and she is dead I will have a comforting interaction with her and she will probably see why I am fun to love too.

It hurts a lot to find someone fun to love and they don’t feel like loving you back. It hurts a heck of a lot. She was the most elegant beautiful skin I had ever witnessed up close and I fell deeply for her in a way I’ve never experienced before; I lost consciousness yet I was still awake when I fell in love with Laura. I had so many beautiful visions of her... I wondered why nobody else ever could tell how beautiful my love for her was. And I loved her for 8 years. I now feel like I can wait for death or a miracle before I get to talk to her for real.

She made me feel like my life doesn’t mean anything. I felt judged to an insane degree. Slander swarming the air around me, hatred and disgust, rumours and disrespect. There are a lot of angry people in this city of Saskatoon and I dealt with a lot of their inner thoughts about me. Good thing I always know I’m gorgeous and strong and a healer and mighty and beautiful because their slander was unwarranted yet I had to witness it and get through it with a positive new day in my future.

I’ll get to eat sleep and breathe calmly for the next 3 years on social assistance. I wonder when I’ll be weaned off the injection.

Life doesn’t have a lot going on and it is easy. You welcome death and people help you. Be brave enough to suffer and aid will come. For how alone I am, I am still not alone. The spirits bless me and I am kept safe. I have my own family here and my brother died so my life can be more safe with his protection. I fell in love with Laura because love is protective too and the angels blessed me in Laura’s beautiful vision and I got through the toughest part of my life so far.... getting a home to myself.

I am left alone to rumerate and soak up my peace. Nobody has a lot of time for me except my best friend sometimes but she has her own issues and can’t be by my side every time.

I am on a spirit walk to find the nature that needs me.

I’m not close with my mom anymore because she wants me to be feminine and I’ve always been masculine; I feel disrespected by her and it hurts me deeply.

I’m not close with my step dad because he doesn’t like homosexuals and since I came out of the closet I know he has an issue with me.

I’m not close with my dad because he is sick and says horrible things and expects everything to be fine forever. He has serious emotional issues and doesn’t deal with them and he abuses drugs and alcohol and I don’t have any respect for that person.

I don’t like my dads girlfriend because she doesn’t understand what I am and she assumes disgusting things and has a sick understanding of the world. She judges my life and she wastes hers away. I don’t respect her either.

My living triplet brother has shown me time after time that he takes my power away when I am weak and he weakens me more so he can be dominant. He doesn’t respect me and I don’t feel safe around him. He isn’t a good guy and I don’t admire his way of life. He has let me down too many times for me to keep a true love for him.

My older brother is a hermit and never contacts me and he seems like a pussy and he doesn’t enjoy being a man. I lost my communication with him years ago when I was having stressful mental times. Everyone in the family judges me now because I am the crazy one.

My best friend spends time with me out of their convenience and gets me to help them with stuff and we don’t hang out to hang out it’s always to fix some issue in their life. They don’t have the energy to talk to me about what I want to talk about so I feel stepped on and disregarded by them. They say they love me and I know they do but they also don’t have a lot of time for me. I am quiet and calm so they assume I have nothing to do and nowhere to want to be. They are a loud busy person and conceited and annoying and repetitive and they think I’m a pussy but I think they are too. We fight sometimes because they’re not true best friend material for me but they’re all I have. I don’t have a deep thinking artist friend. I don’t have a fun loving musician friend. I just have a self hating erratic friend that doesn’t respect me a lot of the time but is impossible to see that. I am challenged to stick up for myself most times I see them and that’s not a friendship situation. That’s a bully. But they’re all I have for social life so I take what they say with a grain of salt and I enjoy them and their dog as much as I can. They’re still a person that cares about me, they just have a lot of self centred habitual thinking that bothers me.

I don’t have anyone else in my life. My family doesn’t feel like family anymore for years now and I only have one okay friend that my family doesn’t like. So I have no beautiful woman today, I have no beautiful best friend.

I have issues with people and I have a lot of alone time. I feel hurt by everyone and I need to find someone who appreciates me for me.

Time will tell who in this city will fall for me.

I will be respected one day.

And I will live every day until I die.

I probably have over 25000 days to live if I die of old age. That’s a thousand days 25 times over. I have a lot of days to get through.

And the sun will shine and the birds will sing and the fluffy kitties and puppies will play. And the world will be okay. And people will heal.

It is a good life.

[sabrin-things]

SABRIN ZERO SEVENTEEN: EPISODE 1⃣1⃣5⃣: SWIMMING RACE QUARTER FINALS FOR THE KIDS & ADULTS

Hi everyone, this is the one hundred and fifteenth episode of Sabrin zero seventeen. Four hundred and thirty four in the series so far, the episode takes place yesterday just after the after party/Dean’s birthday celebration. Even though the episode takes place on Wednesday, the people of the Sabrin zero seventeen and the people of the Dean Tv universe are at the swimming pool area. Some of them are in the house watching it on the Tv, Linda and Joseph are watching it on the Tv too. Getting excited to see Joanna making it to the quarter finals, Isabelle’s parents are doing the same too. Sabrin has already taken them to the swimming area, the kids are going first to swim. Just like the last time, many episodes ago. Isabelle isn’t nervous, she feels fine. Anyway Joanna is keeping her company, even Emilie too. The three girls are very close friends at school and outside school. Dean 3 is watching the swimming inside the area with me, (Dean) the other me is resting inside the house. Louise is with him. “Call me if June and Shirley are on” he said to Louise. Louise nodded like she is saying okay.

The DJ is playing some cool funky tunes, to make the people relax a little to wait for the race to start. The girls are still in the locker room, waiting for the music to fade out.

The girls followed Sabrin in a straight line, Sabrin is in front like the leader. Walking to the swimming room with a big crowd of people. The announcer talks on his mic speaking on the mic, talking about the race, the girls who are participating at the race. Saying that the participants have came along way since the time the girls joined the race event in the summer games.

Including Joanna and Isabelle. The music is playing when the girls are standing in line, Dean 3 is dancing to the music. “I think he likes this music, reminds me of people swimming in the water. With the ooooh sound” I said to chicken. “Really?, it does?” said chicken. “Yes it does” said I. “That music was made by me Dean” said chicken. “Is it?” said I. “Yeah, it sounds like the tune I remember hearing back in September two thousand, after the old version of my show ended” said Chicken. “Thats what I was thinking but its different” I said to him. The music ended and the girls are taking their positions. The bleeps starting to bleeps, the kids understand that it is the three two one….go. The girls jump and swim in the pool. Joanna swims very quickly, she speeds through the water like a speed boat. Isabelle keeps up with her, Emilie is swimming fast too as she is getting away from other kids who are trying to go for third place position. Linda and Joseph are cheering at the Tv seeing Joanna swimming in the lead. Linda is holding onto a pillow. As the race continues, Joanna is still in first place position. She made it to the finish line by pressing the button. Isabelle came second place. Emilie is struggling trying to get to third place, she yearns to be in third place. She want to be third so badly. Joanna cheered for Emilie. But she is level with another girl. Emilie’s swimming cap came off, as she move ahead into third place by pressing the button. Her hair is wet, she couldn’t see with her hair in front of her eyes. Linda and Joseph cheered with excited that Joanna came first place again. “Faste than a speed boat” said Linda. Joanna,Isabelle and Emile are going to the semi finals. The summer games team gave Emilie her swimming cap back from the water. The girls went to the locker room to dry off and get change. While the ladies came to the swimming area, its the ladies turn. Louise wakes up the other me. “Huh?, are they here yet?” he asked. “Yes June and Shirley are at the area” said Louise. Megan and Akiko are at the area too, Sarah is getting so excited about Akiko making it to the quarter finals of the event. June’s husband, two daughters with their fiancees. Until the DJ play some music with a stock footage of people, Television sets and a guy in a gorilla costume doing DJing. June looked at the video smiling by seeing an old lady dancing in the video. With her walking frame. “That would be when I am that age” said June. Tv sets shows people eating donuts, ice cream and pizza. I started to laugh at the music with the vocals, the low octave and the normal. “What kind of music is this, its like watching Dean Tv in the mornings at six” said I. “Yeah it does, with the chicken channel” said chicken. The announcer started talking about the second race for the ladies. Megan from the Sabrin universe with a swimming suit with a capital S which stands for Sabrin with the letter U mean universe. June from the Dean Tv universe with her swim suit made was made by the Dean Tv team, with the union jack at the back. Shirley from the Dean Tv universe with her swim suit that is the same like June’s. Akiko from the chicken squad, from earth, America Texas. Sabrin universe’s neighbours. Four of them have made it to the quarter finals, Akiko’s family are watching the race inside the area. Cheering for her by waving the flag of Japan and America. Also the chicken flag. Joel is filming the race with his camera, just to make sure he gets everything on tape or disc if its digital. The ladies shakes hands. “May the best lady win in the quarter finals” said Megan. The ladies take their positions to swim. The bleeps started to go, the ladies dive into the pool. Swimming, Megan swims so fast. Being levelled with Shirley, Akiko is swimming a bit too slow . June is pushing herself to get into third place. Megan and Shirley touch the wall then they did a backstroke. “Come on Meg” said Cyber Sabrin. “This event is getting very intense” said I. “Yeah your right” said Sabrin. The other me and Louise watching  the Tv. “Shirley is making it” said Louise. “Yeah but how is going to get first place?” said the other me. Megan and Shirley press the button at the same time, no one know who won the race. June and Akiko are battling out to get third place, Akiko makes it to the finish line. June did the same. But the people are a bit confused about who came third.

The replay team show the footage of Megan and Shirley first to see who first place. As they showed it again. Until the judges said that Megan’s hand stretched to get the button first. First place for Megan, Shirley came second place. Then its June and Akiko second, the replay showed June and Akiko. Did the same thing until the judges explained the verdict. “In this footage its seem like the two participants had a big battle to get to third place, but its clear that the participant from the  Dean Tv universe, Great Britain tried to press the button first, but the participant from earth of the Chicken universe went to press the button in a quick reaction” said the replay team member. “And what does that mean?” asked Sabrin. “Its means that Akiko came in third and June is in fourth, so that means Akiko advance to the semi final with Megan and Shirley” said the replay member. The announcer make his announcement. “In first place, Megan from the Sabrin universe, in second place Shirley from the Dean Tv universe, in third place its Akiko from the chicken universe and in fourth place June from the Dean Tv universe. Megan, Shirley and Akiko make it to the semi finals with the other participants who will be at the semi finals” said the announcer. Then the announcer speaks to June. About how she is feeling. “A bit disappointed, but I had a good time. I had came along way since my time at the summer games. Me and Akiko were trying to get to finish line, but she beat me to it. Hopefully I’ll come back next year, I have been swimming for forty three years. I’ve won the swimming in my universe a couple of times, but hey I’m still happy. Also I wish my friend Shirley good luck who represents the Dean Tv universe, Megan who is my good friend and Akiko too. I would like to thank my family who came to this universe including Dean from the Dean Tv universe and Louise for supporting me” she says on the mic. The crowd cheered as the team showed highlights of June’s progress in the games. On the screen, the crowd and clapped. The husband and the daughters went to give her a hug. “I tried my best, but I’ll come back soon” said June. “Oh June you made me wet” said her husband. June laughed. “Oh you never change, just like the way you said to me when we were in our teens. Back in the seventies” said June. Megan, Shirley and Akiko went to the locker room to dry off. June did the same. Meanwhile at the house, the other me and Louise understood that June has came along way in the games. “She has been swimming for forty three years?” asked Louise. “Yes and that was 1⃣9⃣7⃣3⃣” said the other me. “How old was she?” asked Louise. “Thirteen years old I believe” said the other me. “How did you know that?, did she tell you?” asked Louise. “No I just guess, anyway I know my maths” said the other me. Later on that night we all had a party inside the house. Megan, June, AKiko and Shirley sit down together drinking Sabrin juice. Joanna, Isabelle and Emilie are playing with Dean 3 and Jake. The semi finals for the swimming race will be on the seventeenth of August.

Cheers.

END OF EPISODE 1⃣1⃣5⃣

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