#i know it was a STACKED Broadway season but come on

[thebroadwaybi]

The amount of shows that got absolutely SNUBBED this Tony season is insane

[notyourdayrdream]

Summer’s Almost Over (So Come Spend it with Me)

Day Five, Side A: Austere

read it here on AO3

A/N: brief mention of Kurt being kissed without consent in season two of Glee

(also! for this two shot: Kurt and Blaine met at Dalton, but never dated.)

“What if we went to Coney Island Saturday?” Brittany exclaimed at their weekly potluck, completely out of the blue. Nobody had even mentioned the theme park. Though, to be fair, nobody begins half of the conversations Brittany throws them in.

For some reason, everyone agreed, even Rachel. She said taking a break from the hustle of Broadway was exactly what she needed to be ready to continue her role as Fanny on Monday.

Outvoted, Kurt reluctantly sat between Blaine and Sam on the subway ride to Coney Island, legs shaking the entire time. It wasn’t that he hated carnivals. It was the opposite, actually. When he was younger, his mom and dad took him to the Ohio state carnival. It’s one of the last memories he can fully remember of her, her long blonde hair braided back as she threw a plastic ball at a stack of milk cans. Anything for her kid, especially one who desperately wanted an oversized dragon plushie.

No, he’s nervous because he has a date at eight.

Kurt met Oliver at a coffeehouse near the Vogue office, he was the barista who served him his drink. Oliver’s number was scribbled on the receipt. It was all very cute, and his friends agreed when he told them the story.

They texted back and forth a week before Oliver asked him out. Kurt happily agreed, hoping for a calm day before getting dressed and heading out to a fancy dinner. Now though, he won’t even have enough time to shower the smell of hotdogs off his body and be on time.

So Kurt’s scrolling through Oliver’s Instagram (not at all like a creep,) when Artie pats his shoulder. “There they are,” he points ahead as the rest of his friends stumble to them, chatting animatedly about the rollercoaster they just went on.

“You know, when you said ‘let’s go on a ride,’ I didn’t think you meant the one with a huge drop,” Rachel says, gripping Santana’s arm so hard it might fall off. Her hair is wind whipped and messy.

“C’mon Rach, you could’ve sat with Kurt and Artie if you wanted,” Mercedes says from behind her, arms wrapped around Sam’s waist.

“Did you guys have fun?” Kurt asks from the bench, carefully closing the app so he doesn’t accidentally like an old photo. “Rachel looks like she just died.” This is why he didn’t go on the ride.

Blaine sits beside him on the bench, his eyes gleaming with a sort of childlike wonder. He’s a total adrenaline junkie. “It was amazing, she’s overreacting,” he whispers not-too-discreetly. Kurt giggles.

“Let’s split up,” Santana suggests. “I wanna go on another coaster, and the park closes at six. We can grab dinner after?”

“Unless you’re Sam and Brittany, who already ate,” Artie chides. His camera rests on his lap, storage filled with videos and photos of their trip.

“Hey! Cotton candy is not one of the five food groups!” Brittany sticks out a blue tongue at him, Sam does the same. Their respective partners laugh.

“I have to leave soon,” Kurt reminds the group, checking his phone another time. Five thirty-two.

“Wait, never mind guys,” Santana alerts, appearing to be suddenly anxious. “Kurt has to get his brains fucked out at eight, so we can’t have dinner.” Both Blaine and Kurt wince.

“Too far, San.” Mercedes cringes as her and Sam make their way down the boardwalk steps and to the beach. The others shake their heads in similar disgust before going their separate ways. Rachel pushes Artie to the outdoor arcade with plans to win a bagged goldfish. Brittany pulls her girlfriend by a sticky hand to the older wooden coaster.

“So…” Blaine knocks his shoulder as they walk down the boardwalk. The gel has completely left his hair throughout the course of the day, curls hanging just above his eyebrows. “Whatcha wanna do?” Kurt spies him eyeing the Wonder Wheel beside him.

He shakes his head, not waiting for the question. “No.”

“Please?” Blaine pleaded. “You haven’t been on anything this whole time.” He sidesteps a tiny toddler crying over a fallen ice cream cone.

“I didn’t want Artie to feel alone!” Kurt defends himself. Which was true, most of the coasters weren’t accessible for him, so they spent the time bonding over the grossness of carnival food and looking at footage from the day.

“We’ll Artie isn’t here now,” Blaine replies, voice dropping an octave. “So come on the ferris wheel with me.” He bats his eyelashes for extra effect. Kurt’s stomach swoops.

Blaine has a way of doing that to him. In their near five year friendship, he’s made Kurt’s stomach tie up in knots more times than he can count. He won’t deny he used to have a crush on him in high school; he was preppy and chivalrous and oh so cute in his bow ties and blazers.

Kurt pinches the bridge of his nose. “Fine,” he sighs. Blaine cheers next to him, mumbling ‘thankyouthankyouthankyou’ in the same deep voice that makes the blood rush to Kurt’s face.

Okay, maybe the crush wasn’t entirely dead. But it’s completely normal to have crushes on your friends. Friendly crushes.

Since the park is soon to close, the lines weren’t too long anymore. Kurt and Blaine move up first in line after only five minutes.

The ride operator turns to them. Her hair is bordering on orange. “You guys want an outside or inside car?” Her voice has no expression, and she looks two more button presses from quitting her job.

“Outside.” Kurt and Blaine say at the same time, followed by a quiet laugh.

She eyes them. “Alright.” She presses another button, and the outer ring of ferris wheel carts rotate downwards until an empty one comes to the bottom. “Enjoy the ride.”

Blaine and Kurt slide into the seat, sitting on opposite sides of the enclosure. The ride jerks forward and up, until they’re halfway around the ride. “Are you okay? Your face is really pale.” Blaine asks, eyebrows knitting together in concern.

“Mm-hmm,” Kurt squeaks, closing his eyes to avoid looking down. Even though the car is supposed to be stationary, it rocks just a little as it moves up and down to complete its first circle.

Blaine thinks for a moment before saying quietly, “You’re afraid of heights?” He jumps a little in his seat, and the car rocks with it. Kurt’s stomach drops.

“I am!” he snaps, opening his eyes. “Stop moving so much.” The city is lit up around them, the sound of cheers from the rollercoaster whizzing by below him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Blaine stills himself. “I wouldn’t have made you go on if you had told me, Kurt!” He looks so worried that Kurt feels bad for even mentioning his fear. It’s completely irrational anyway, he doesn't even have a reason to be so scared. It’s just the fact he believes no human needs to be up one hundred fifty feet high.

“It’s okay, I’m okay,” he tries to console Blaine (and himself). “It’ll be over in what, three more minutes?” He can last three more minutes. Hell, he’s lasted an hour listening to Rachel and Santana argue.

And then the ride stops. At the very top.

It takes a minute for the two of them to realize this isn’t supposed to happen. “Why’d it stop.” Kurt says. His body feels like it might melt onto the floor. “Oh my god, no.”

“We’re stuck.” Blaine groans, which, thanks Captain Obvious! Those two words are confirmation that this is actually the absolute worst day ever. “I’ll call someone.”

Rachel’s ringtone beats him to it.

Kurt can’t hear much of the conversation, but from the looks Blaine throws his way, he knows it isn’t good. He cracks his knuckles as a way to distract himself from the slight sway of the cart. Passerbys the size of ants point and look up at the malfunctioned ride.

Blaine clicks the end call button. “Okay, good news first, ” he begins, pocketing his phone. “Rachel and Artie talked to the operators, and they’re working on fixing the ride.”

“Bad news?” Kurt presses. Blaine likes to do that thing where he gives good news then bad news, but the latter is always so bad the good news pales in comparison. He’s done that ever since they met. It’s silly, but it’s Blaine, so Kurt loves it.

“Bad news is that it might take thirty minutes, maybe forty-five.” Blaine cringes from the other side of the cart, waiting for Kurt’s outburst.

“No.” Kurt snatches his phone out of his pocket. “No, no, no, this can’t be happening!” He feels tears prick at the back of his eyes. He’s gonna be late. “I’m gonna miss my date!” He groans, and yeah it may be a little over dramatic, but he hasn’t been on a date with someone in months. He was really excited.

Expecting sympathy from Blaine, he glanced over at him. He’s glaring right back at him. “What?”

“Is that really what you’re worried about right now?” Blaine says abruptly. “God forbid you miss your date.” He rolls his eyes with more venom Kurt’s seen in him ever. It freaks him out and angers him at the same time.

“Okay, what’s your problem?” He retorts, eyes narrowing. Blaine shrinks back a little at the stare, but doesn’t stop glowering.

“You’ve been going on about this stupid guy the whole day, complaining about how you have to go home, I’m so sick of it!” Blaine continues. His voice grows louder by the end.

“He’s not stupid, okay?” Kurt doesn’t know why he feels like he has to defend Oliver, but he does anyway. “And you’re the main one who wanted me to go out with him!” This whole situation is confusing him.

Blaine huffs indignantly and crosses his arms. “Maybe I don’t want you to anymore!”

“Why not?” Kurt presses. He’s never seen his best friend act like this. He almost seems jealous.

“Because I like you!” Blaine cries, eyes wet. “Jesus, couldn’t you tell?” His face is red now, flushed up to his neck.

Kurt flinches. “Please stop yelling.”

“I’m sorry.” Blaine immediately backs down, curling into himself. “I like you, Kurt. I’m sorry if that freaks you out, but I do.”

The sun is starting to set now, casting what feels like the entire world in an orange haze. The ocean to the right of them glimmers, couples walked in tandem along the shore. To the left, the skyline of Brooklyn appears austere and somber from so high up.

“How long?” Kurt says finally, eyes settling on the horizon and the rolling waves.

“How long what?”

“How long have you liked me?” He doesn’t know if he wants the answer.

There’s a pause until Blaine eventually murmurs, “Five years.”

Kurt’s heart drops. “Blaine.” Why didn’t he say anything? Oh god, this is horrible.

“I just, I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship by admitting anything,” Blaine explains, rubbing the nape of his neck. “It’s a lame excuse. But—yeah.” And he resides back into silence.

It is a lame excuse, Kurt thinks. Of course it wouldn’t have ruined anything. He had a crush on his stepbrother, for Christ’s sake. “So why did you want me to go out with Oliver so bad?”

“I thought, maybe, if you started dating someone I could get over you,” he laughs to himself. “That obviously didn’t work.”

Kurt just stares at him for a moment until he makes up his mind. “I’m coming over there.”

Blaine jerks out of his thoughts. “N-no, don’t come any closer,” he stammers. “You’ll mess up the balance of the car.” He looks terrified. Kurt can’t decide if it’s sad or adorable.

He rolls his eyes. “I won’t mess up the balance of anything.” Kurt stands slowly, holding his arms out to his sides. He takes the three steps to Blaine’s side of the car quickly to get it over with, shaking the seats. When he falls into the seat, Blaine steadies him by the waist. The touch shocks both of them, and he snatches his arm back.

They sit shoulder to shoulder, neither of them daring to move. It’s what feels like hours before Kurt takes a deep breath and gathers his thoughts. “Do you remember when we first met? And I was having trouble with Karofsky? You texted me a single word. Courage.” He turns to the side. Blaine looks absolutely disheveled, sweating and curls getting frizzier by the minute. Weirdly, he looks gorgeous.

Blaine snorts. “Yeah, that word got you sexually assaulted.”

“No,” Kurt shakes his head, choosing to ignore the way his heart stops from the words. “That word saved me. You saved me, Blaine.” He would’ve never stood up for himself without that text. It got him through McKinley and Dalton and NYADA to this day.

“I’m always going to care about you. And I’m sorry I don’t… like you the way you like me. But I used to,” Kurt admits, now nervous like must’ve been. That secret was supposed to go to the grave. “And maybe I can again.”

Blaine meets his gaze, an emotion Kurt can’t quite place swirling around his eyes. “Okay.” He smiles, and though it is wavering, it’s also hopeful.

There’s a jolt, and the wheel starts turning again. It’s dark now, the sun fully disappeared below the horizon. The sky is a mix of purple and black and blue, a bruise painted among the stars. Kurt hears cheers from the other cars as they reach the ground below. “Okay.”

[brokehorrorfan]

Robert Englund Talks True Terror

If anyone knows true terror, it's Robert Englund. The horror icon haunted a generation with his portrayal of Freddy Krueger in Wes Craven’s A Nightmare on Elm Street and its seven sequels, in addition to appearing in an array of genre cult classics. His latest gig finds him not only without makeup but also without a character to embody, as he hosts Travel Channel's new series, True Terror with Robert Englund, in which he interweaves twisted tales guided by newspaper accounts, expert commentary, and reenactments. In his own words, Englund describes True Terror as "comfort food from the dark side," equal parts The Twilight Zone and Unsolved Mysteries with a dash of Dateline.

"I think what drew me to it is the challenge of being an on-camera host personality," he confesses. Indeed, Englund draws influence from Rod Serling and Robert Stack, in addition to tapping into flamboyant parts of his persona, citing Vincent Price and Klaus Kinski. "It’s not True Terror with Robert Englund pretending to be somebody else. But, there’s a bit - I don’t want to say an embellishment, but a little dusting of all of those influences on my choices when I host." He also mentions the difficulty of transitioning between the series' on-screen appearances and voice-over narration. "I don’t always see all of the images that they’re shooting because we’re working different schedules at different times... It might be a really gothic image; it might be something violent; it might be something lyrical and elegiac; so you have to make that transition and make those decisions. It’s kind of a challenge, but I like it."

Unlike many of the shows that came before it, True Terror is based on documented accounts rather than hearsay. "It’s something you can tune into and learn something dark from the sort of underbelly of the American psyche," notes Englund. "But all of the stories began as journalism. They began as newspaper articles. And that’s what I think distinguishes it from two guys in a Louisiana swamp seeing a UFO." The series' Bigfoot segment was verified by an unlikely corroborator: "Our source is Teddy Roosevelt, president of the United States, on a hunting party in Montana with Native American guides." Another stand-out story covered in the first season occurred during the smallpox epidemic. Englund explains, "I had no idea that there was some scam between coroners and the guys that drove the charity wagons to the cemetery, coffin makers, and the last buck stopping with the gravedigger. That, in fact, people were literally being buried alive for profit. And this is as recently as late last century."

If afforded the opportunity of another season of True Terror, Englund would love to explore serial killer H.H. Holmes, as detailed in Erik Larson's The Devil in the White City, which the host recently read. "It's about the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair, the Columbian Exposition, and simultaneously America’s first serial killer, who exploited the growth of the fair and the growth in the population in Chicago and the country girls coming to town for the fair. There’s some estimates that he may have killed up to 200 people." He'd also like to delve into more Native American folklore. "We touch on it in a couple of segments, but there’s some interesting stuff with that, even with Native Americans and Sasquatch or Native Americans and their own ghost stories."

Englund equates horror and true crime to a communal experience akin to church. "I think people loved sitting in the dark together and being frightened together, especially younger people, because the younger people think they’re going to live forever... The only time you really confront death now, unless you have a sick relative or a friend, is in a horror movie or the thriller or the serial killer film, because we have an identification with the potential victim, the person in jeopardy. We’re emotionally involved. We have empathy and catharsis with that, and we sit in the dark together and respond to that in the old movie theaters. And I think it was multiplied... We’re there on the couch with the lights dimmed down, sitting by the glow of the flat screen, and we do surrender to that identification with the jeopardy of whatever person is being threatened in a horror film. And I think we need that. I think it’s just our way of kind of a substitution for dealing with our own mortality."

Once afraid of snakes, Englund faced his fear when he acted with a baby albino python in 2000's Python, and he hasn't personally experienced any supernatural occurrences outside of déjà vu. "I’ve walked into rooms that I’ve dreamed of before I entered them. And it’s happened a couple of times, which is really strange." But his mother used to tell him a story about her own ghost encounter as a sorority girl during the Los Angeles flood of 1938. "There was a loud knocking at the door, and she opened it up, and one of the sorority girls came in all wet... My mom made her a cup of coffee, and they talked for a while." The girl indicated that she was going to a boarding house up the road to stay with a friend and then left. "The next morning, the police came to the sorority house, and they told them that they had found this girl’s body. But they had found it 36 hours before, which would have been about 12 to 15 hours before my mother made a cup of coffee for her. And my mother... she went back and found the coffee cup, and it had lipstick on it."

The opening story of True Terror's premier episode involves a familiar subject to Englund: the dream world. On the subject of Freddy Krueger becoming a part of modern folklore, the man behind the makeup expounds, "The whole concept of Nightmare on Elm Street is very symbolic. I think, basically, it’s loss of innocence in America. The one clue that nobody ever picks up on; Freddy has the line, 'Every town has an Elm Street.' Well, every town also has a Broadway and a Main Street and an Oak Street; but Elm Street’s also the street that JFK was assassinated on in Dallas. That’s sort of the beginning of our loss of innocence and our distrust of government and our group American paranoia, and Wes [Craven] was sort of turning that around and making that also the loss of innocence for a generation and, in particular, young women."

While it remains unknown if Englund will ever return to his iconic role of Freddy Krueger for one more film, the veteran actor teases an exciting upcoming role on a popular series. "I’ve got something coming up that I’m going to be shooting later this month. I’m not allowed to talk about it, but it also is very challenging, on a show that’s terribly, terribly popular. And I’m looking forward to the fan reaction to that as well." Until then, catch him on True Terror with Robert Englund, premiering this Wednesday, March 18, on Travel Channel.

[tomhiddleslove]

The screen and stage star is making his Broadway debut as the bottled-up husband wearing a “mask of control” in Harold Pinter’s romantic triangle.

[ By Laura Collins-Hughes

Aug. 21, 2019, 5:00 a.m. ET ]

Tom Hiddleston was posing for a portrait, and the face he showed the camera wasn’t entirely his own.

That had been his idea, to slip for a few moments into the character he’s playing on Broadway, in Harold Pinter’s “Betrayal”: Robert, the cheated-on husband and backstabbed best friend whose coolly proper facade is the carapace containing a crumbling man. And when Mr. Hiddleston became him, the change was instantaneous: the guarded stillness of his body, the chill reserve in his gray-blue eyes.

“It’s interesting,” Mr. Hiddleston said after a while, analyzing Robert’s expression from the inside. “It gives less away.” A pause, and then his own smile flickered back, its pleasure undisguised. “O.K.,” Mr. Hiddleston announced, himself again, “it’s not Robert anymore.”

It was late on a muggy August morning, one day before the show’s first preview at the Bernard B. Jacobs Theater, and Mr. Hiddleston — the classically trained British actor best known for playing the winsomely chaotic villain Loki, god of mischief and brother of Thor, in the Marvel film franchise — had been in New York for less than a week.

He’ll be here all autumn for the limited run of the production, a hit in London earlier this year, but he wasn’t going to pretend that he’d settled in. “I literally have never sat in this room before,” he’d said at the top of the photo shoot, in his cramped auxiliary dressing room, next door to the similarly tiny one he had been occupying.

He’d had nothing to do with the space’s camera-ready décor. So there was no use making a metaphor of the handsome clock with its hands stopped at 12 (“Betrayal” is famous for its reverse chronology; far more apt if the clock had run backward), or of the compact stack of pristine books that looked like journals, with pretty covers and presumably empty pages: a bit off-brand for Mr. Hiddleston, who at 38 has a model-perfect exterior with quite a lot inscribed inside.

Take the matter-of-fact way he said, in explaining that he’d first encountered Pinter’s work when he studied for his A-levels in English literature, theater, Latin and Greek: “It was a real tossup between French and Spanish or Latin and Greek. I thought, I can always speak French and Spanish, I can’t always read Latin and Greek, so I’ll study that and I’ll speak the other two.”

Though, to be fair, he only said that because I’d teased him slightly about the Latin and Greek, and I’d teased him — not a recommended journalistic technique — because he was so disarmingly good-humored and resolutely down to earth, chatting away as he waited for the photographer to set up a shot. It didn’t seem like it would ruffle him. He laughed, actually.

From a one-night reading to Broadway

In this country, Mr. Hiddleston is mainly a screen star, known also for playing Jonathan Pine in the John le Carré series “The Night Manager” on AMC. There are plans, too, for him to bring Loki to Disney’s streaming service in a stand-alone series.

But at home in London, he has amassed some impressive Shakespearean credits, including the title roles in Kenneth Branagh’s “Hamlet” and Josie Rourke’s “Coriolanus,” and a turn as Cassio in Michael Grandage’s “Othello” — a production that Pinter, saw some months before he died in 2008. That was the year Mr. Hiddleston won a best newcomer Olivier Award for Cheek by Jowl’s “Cymbeline.”

Jamie Lloyd’s “Betrayal,” which has a staging to match the spareness of Pinter’s language and a roiling well of squelched emotion to feed its comedy, is Mr. Hiddleston’s Broadway debut. Likewise for his co-stars, Zawe Ashton (of Netflix’s “Velvet Buzzsaw”), who plays Emma, Robert’s wife; and Charlie Cox (of Netflix’s “Daredevil”), who plays Emma’s lover, Jerry, Robert’s oldest friend.

Beginning at what appears to be the end of Robert and Emma’s marriage, after her yearslong affair with Jerry has sputtered to a stop, it’s a drama of cascading double-crosses. First staged by Peter Hall in London in 1978 — and in 1980 on Broadway, where it starred Roy Scheider, Blythe Danner and Raul Julia — it rewinds through time to the sozzled evening when Emma and Jerry overstep the line.

The most recent Broadway revival was just six years ago, directed by Mike Nichols and starring Daniel Craig as Robert, Rachel Weisz as Emma and Rafe Spall as Jerry. It might seem too soon for another, let alone one with sexiness to spare — except that Mr. Lloyd’s production is also marked by a palpable hauntedness and a profound sense of loss.

Reviewing the London staging in The New York Times, Matt Wolf called it “a benchmark achievement for everyone involved,” showing the play “in a revealing, even radical, new light.” Michael Billington, in The Guardian, called Mr. Hiddleston’s performance “superb.”

What’s curious is that Mr. Hiddleston, so good at bad boys, isn’t playing Jerry, the more glamorous role: the cad, the pursuer, the best man who goes after the bride. But Mr. Lloyd said that casting him that way was never part of their discussions.

Last fall, when Mr. Lloyd persuaded Mr. Hiddleston to read a scene with Ms. Ashton for a one-night gala celebration of Pinter in London, part of the season-long Pinter at the Pinter series, there was no grand plan. Having asked Mr. Hiddleston about a possible collaboration for years, since “just before he became ridiculously famous,” Mr. Lloyd said, this was the first time he got a yes.

“I just really admired his craft of acting, the precision of his acting, as well as his real emotional depth and his real wit,” Mr. Lloyd said. “And he’s turned into what I think is the epitome of a great Pinter actor. Because if you’re in a Pinter play, you have to dig really deep and connect to terrible loss or excruciating pain, often massive volcanic emotion, and then you have to bottle it all up. You have to suppress it all.”

This, he added, is what Mr. Hiddleston does in “Betrayal,” where characters’ meaning is found between and behind the words, not inside them.

“Some of the pain that he’s created in Robert, it’s just unbearable, and yet he always keeps a lid on it,” Mr. Lloyd said.

The scene Mr. Hiddleston and Ms. Ashton read at the gala appears at the midpoint of “Betrayal”: Robert and Emma on vacation in Venice, at a moment that leaves their marriage with permanent damage. Within days, Mr. Hiddleston told Mr. Lloyd that he was on board for a full production.

‘What remains private’

Photos taken, back in the faintly more lived-in of his Broadway dressing rooms, Mr. Hiddleston opened the window to let in some Midtown air — and when you’re as tall as he is, 6 feet 2 inches, opening it from the top of the window frame is easy enough to do. Then, making himself an espresso with his countertop machine, he sat down to talk at length.

“I’m always curious about the presentation of a character’s external persona versus the interior,“ he said. “What remains private, hidden, concealed, protected, and what does the character allow to be seen? We all have a very complex internal world, and not all of that is on display in our external reality.”

He can tick off the ways that various characters of his conceal what’s inside: Loki, with all that rage and vulnerability “tucked away”; the ultra-proper spy Jonathan Pine, in “The Night Manager,” “hiding behind his politeness”; Robert, a lonely man wearing “a mask of control” that renders him “confident, powerful, polished,” at least as far as any onlookers can tell.

In “Betrayal,” each of the three principals has an enormous amount to hide from the people who are meant to be their closest intimates. It’s a play about power and manipulation, duplicity and misplaced trust, and what’s so threatening about it is the very ordinariness of its privileged milieu. This snug little world that once seemed so safe and ideal — the happiest of families, the oldest of friends — has long since fallen apart.

But to Mr. Hiddleston, Pinter’s drama contains two themes just as significant as betrayal: isolation and loneliness.

“The sadness in the play — it’s not only sadness; because it’s Pinter, there’s wit and levity as well — but if there is sadness in the play,” he said, “I think it comes from the fact that these betrayals render Robert, Emma and Jerry more alone than they were before.”

Trust and self-protection

One-on-one, Mr. Hiddleston was more cautious than he’d been during the photo shoot, surrounded then by a gaggle of people affiliated with the show. Still, when I asked him about betrayal, lowercase, he went straight to the condition it violates.

“To trust is a profound commitment, and to trust is to make oneself vulnerable,” he said, fidgeting with a red rubber band and choosing his words with care. “It’s such an optimistic act, because you’re putting your faith in the hands of someone or something which you expect to remain constant, even if the circumstances change.”

“I’m disappearing down a rabbit hole here,” he said, “but I think about it a lot. I think about certainty and uncertainty. Trust is a way of managing uncertainty. It’s a way of finding security in saying, ‘Perhaps all of this is uncertain, but I trust you.’ Or, ‘I trust this.’ And there’s a lot of uncertainty in the world at the moment, so it becomes harder to trust, I suppose.”

An interview itself is an act of trust, albeit often a wary one. And there was one stipulated no-go zone in this encounter, a condition mentioned by a publicist only after I’d arrived: No talk of Taylor Swift, with whom Mr. Hiddleston had a brief, intense, headline-generating romance that, post-breakup, she evidently spun into song lyrics.

That was three years ago, and I hadn’t been planning to bring her up; given the context of the play, though, make of that prohibition what you will. Mr. Hiddleston, who once had a tendency to pour his heart out to reporters, knows that he can’t stop you.

“It’s not possible, and nor should it be possible, to control what anyone thinks about you,” he said. “Especially if it’s not based in any, um —” he gave a soft, joyless laugh — “if it’s not based in any reality.”

That’s something he’s learned about navigating fame — about being put on a pedestal that’s then kicked out from under him. He knows now “to let go of the energy that comes toward me, be it good or bad,” he said. “Because naturally in the early days I took responsibility for it.”

“And yes, I’m protective about my internal world now in probably a different way,” he added, his tone as restrained as his words. He took a beat, and so much went unsaid in what he said next: “That’s because I didn’t realize it needed protecting before.”

Even so, he doesn’t give the impression of having closed himself off. When something genuinely made him laugh, he smiled a smile that cracked his face wide open.

And the way he treated the people around him at work — with a fundamental respect, regardless of rank, and no whiff of flattery — made him seem sincere about what he called “staying true to the part of myself that’s quite simple, that’s quite ordinary.”

That investment in his ordinariness, as he put it, is a hedge against the destabilizing trappings of fame, but it doubles as a way of protecting his craft.

It’s also of a piece with his insistence that vulnerability is a necessary risk to take, at least sometimes.

“If you go through life without connecting to people,” he asked, “how much could you call that a life?”

[insanityclause]

Tom Hiddleston was posing for a portrait, and the face he showed the camera wasn’t entirely his own.

That had been his idea, to slip for a few moments into the character he’s playing on Broadway, in Harold Pinter’s “Betrayal”: Robert, the cheated-on husband and backstabbed best friend whose coolly proper facade is the carapace containing a crumbling man. And when Mr. Hiddleston became him, the change was instantaneous: the guarded stillness of his body, the chill reserve in his gray-blue eyes.

“It’s interesting,” Mr. Hiddleston said after a while, analyzing Robert’s expression from the inside. “It gives less away.” A pause, and then his own smile flickered back, its pleasure undisguised. “O.K.,” Mr. Hiddleston announced, himself again, “it’s not Robert anymore.”

It was late on a muggy August morning, one day before the show’s first preview at the Bernard B. Jacobs Theater, and Mr. Hiddleston — the classically trained British actor best known for playing the winsomely chaotic villain Loki, god of mischief and brother of Thor, in the Marvel film franchise — had been in New York for less than a week.

He’ll be here all autumn for the limited run of the production, a hit in London earlier this year, but he wasn’t going to pretend that he’d settled in. “I literally have never sat in this room before,” he’d said at the top of the photo shoot, in his cramped auxiliary dressing room, next door to the similarly tiny one he had been occupying.

He’d had nothing to do with the space’s camera-ready décor. So there was no use making a metaphor of the handsome clock with its hands stopped at 12 (“Betrayal” is famous for its reverse chronology; far more apt if the clock had run backward), or of the compact stack of pristine books that looked like journals, with pretty covers and presumably empty pages: a bit off-brand for Mr. Hiddleston, who at 38 has a model-perfect exterior with quite a lot inscribed inside.

Take the matter-of-fact way he said, in explaining that he’d first encountered Pinter’s work when he studied for his A-levels in English literature, theater, Latin and Greek: “It was a real tossup between French and Spanish or Latin and Greek. I thought, I can always speak French and Spanish, I can’t always read Latin and Greek, so I’ll study that and I’ll speak the other two.”

Though, to be fair, he only said that because I’d teased him slightly about the Latin and Greek, and I’d teased him — not a recommended journalistic technique — because he was so disarmingly good-humored and resolutely down to earth, chatting away as he waited for the photographer to set up a shot. It didn’t seem like it would ruffle him. He laughed, actually.

From a one-night reading to Broadway

In this country, Mr. Hiddleston is mainly a screen star, known also for playing Jonathan Pine in the John le Carré series “The Night Manager” on AMC. There are plans, too, for him to bring Loki to Disney’s streaming service in a stand-alone series.

But at home in London, he has amassed some impressive Shakespearean credits, including the title roles in Kenneth Branagh’s “Hamlet” and Josie Rourke’s “Coriolanus,” and a turn as Cassio in Michael Grandage’s “Othello” — a production that Pinter, saw some months before he died in 2008. That was the year Mr. Hiddleston won a best newcomer Olivier Award for Cheek by Jowl’s “Cymbeline.”

Jamie Lloyd’s “Betrayal,” which has a staging to match the spareness of Pinter’s language and a roiling well of squelched emotion to feed its comedy, is Mr. Hiddleston’s Broadway debut. Likewise for his co-stars, Zawe Ashton (of Netflix’s “Velvet Buzzsaw”), who plays Emma, Robert’s wife; and Charlie Cox (of Netflix’s “Daredevil”), who plays Emma’s lover, Jerry, Robert’s oldest friend.

Beginning at what appears to be the end of Robert and Emma’s marriage, after her yearslong affair with Jerry has sputtered to a stop, it’s a drama of cascading double-crosses. First staged by Peter Hall in London in 1978 — and in 1980 on Broadway, where it starred Roy Scheider, Blythe Danner and Raul Julia — it rewinds through time to the sozzled evening when Emma and Jerry overstep the line.

The most recent Broadway revival was just six years ago, directed by Mike Nichols and starring Daniel Craig as Robert, Rachel Weisz as Emma and Rafe Spall as Jerry. It might seem too soon for another, let alone one with sexiness to spare — except that Mr. Lloyd’s production is also marked by a palpable hauntedness and a profound sense of loss.

Reviewing the London staging in The New York Times, Matt Wolf called it “a benchmark achievement for everyone involved,” showing the play “in a revealing, even radical, new light.” Michael Billington, in The Guardian, called Mr. Hiddleston’s performance “superb.”

What’s curious is that Mr. Hiddleston, so good at bad boys, isn’t playing Jerry, the more glamorous role: the cad, the pursuer, the best man who goes after the bride. But Mr. Lloyd said that casting him that way was never part of their discussions.

Last fall, when Mr. Lloyd persuaded Mr. Hiddleston to read a scene with Ms. Ashton for a one-night gala celebration of Pinter in London, part of the season-long Pinter at the Pinter series, there was no grand plan. Having asked Mr. Hiddleston about a possible collaboration for years, since “just before he became ridiculously famous,” Mr. Lloyd said, this was the first time he got a yes.

“I just really admired his craft of acting, the precision of his acting, as well as his real emotional depth and his real wit,” Mr. Lloyd said. “And he’s turned into what I think is the epitome of a great Pinter actor. Because if you’re in a Pinter play, you have to dig really deep and connect to terrible loss or excruciating pain, often massive volcanic emotion, and then you have to bottle it all up. You have to suppress it all.”

This, he added, is what Mr. Hiddleston does in “Betrayal,” where characters’ meaning is found between and behind the words, not inside them.

“Some of the pain that he’s created in Robert, it’s just unbearable, and yet he always keeps a lid on it,” Mr. Lloyd said.

The scene Mr. Hiddleston and Ms. Ashton read at the gala appears at the midpoint of “Betrayal”: Robert and Emma on vacation in Venice, at a moment that leaves their marriage with permanent damage. Within days, Mr. Hiddleston told Mr. Lloyd that he was on board for a full production.

‘What remains private’

Photos taken, back in the faintly more lived-in of his Broadway dressing rooms, Mr. Hiddleston opened the window to let in some Midtown air — and when you’re as tall as he is, 6 feet 2 inches, opening it from the top of the window frame is easy enough to do. Then, making himself an espresso with his countertop machine, he sat down to talk at length.

“I’m always curious about the presentation of a character’s external persona versus the interior,“ he said. “What remains private, hidden, concealed, protected, and what does the character allow to be seen? We all have a very complex internal world, and not all of that is on display in our external reality.”

He can tick off the ways that various characters of his conceal what’s inside: Loki, with all that rage and vulnerability “tucked away”; the ultra-proper spy Jonathan Pine, in “The Night Manager,” “hiding behind his politeness”; Robert, a lonely man wearing “a mask of control” that renders him “confident, powerful, polished,” at least as far as any onlookers can tell.

In “Betrayal,” each of the three principals has an enormous amount to hide from the people who are meant to be their closest intimates. It’s a play about power and manipulation, duplicity and misplaced trust, and what’s so threatening about it is the very ordinariness of its privileged milieu. This snug little world that once seemed so safe and ideal — the happiest of families, the oldest of friends — has long since fallen apart.

But to Mr. Hiddleston, Pinter’s drama contains two themes just as significant as betrayal: isolation and loneliness.

“The sadness in the play — it’s not only sadness; because it’s Pinter, there’s wit and levity as well — but if there is sadness in the play,” he said, “I think it comes from the fact that these betrayals render Robert, Emma and Jerry more alone than they were before.”

Trust and self-protection

One-on-one, Mr. Hiddleston was more cautious than he’d been during the photo shoot, surrounded then by a gaggle of people affiliated with the show. Still, when I asked him about betrayal, lowercase, he went straight to the condition it violates.

“To trust is a profound commitment, and to trust is to make oneself vulnerable,” he said, fidgeting with a red rubber band and choosing his words with care. “It’s such an optimistic act, because you’re putting your faith in the hands of someone or something which you expect to remain constant, even if the circumstances change.”

“I’m disappearing down a rabbit hole here,” he said, “but I think about it a lot. I think about certainty and uncertainty. Trust is a way of managing uncertainty. It’s a way of finding security in saying, ‘Perhaps all of this is uncertain, but I trust you.’ Or, ‘I trust this.’ And there’s a lot of uncertainty in the world at the moment, so it becomes harder to trust, I suppose.”

An interview itself is an act of trust, albeit often a wary one. And there was one stipulated no-go zone in this encounter, a condition mentioned by a publicist only after I’d arrived: No talk of Taylor Swift, with whom Mr. Hiddleston had a brief, intense, headline-generating romance that, post-breakup, she evidently spun into song lyrics.

That was three years ago, and I hadn’t been planning to bring her up; given the context of the play, though, make of that prohibition what you will. Mr. Hiddleston, who once had a tendency to pour his heart out to reporters, knows that he can’t stop you.

“It’s not possible, and nor should it be possible, to control what anyone thinks about you,” he said. “Especially if it’s not based in any, um —” he gave a soft, joyless laugh — “if it’s not based in any reality.”

That’s something he’s learned about navigating fame — about being put on a pedestal that’s then kicked out from under him. He knows now “to let go of the energy that comes toward me, be it good or bad,” he said. “Because naturally in the early days I took responsibility for it.”

“And yes, I’m protective about my internal world now in probably a different way,” he added, his tone as restrained as his words. He took a beat, and so much went unsaid in what he said next: “That’s because I didn’t realize it needed protecting before.”

Even so, he doesn’t give the impression of having closed himself off. When something genuinely made him laugh, he smiled a smile that cracked his face wide open.

And the way he treated the people around him at work — with a fundamental respect, regardless of rank, and no whiff of flattery — made him seem sincere about what he called “staying true to the part of myself that’s quite simple, that’s quite ordinary.”

That investment in his ordinariness, as he put it, is a hedge against the destabilizing trappings of fame, but it doubles as a way of protecting his craft.

It’s also of a piece with his insistence that vulnerability is a necessary risk to take, at least sometimes.

“If you go through life without connecting to people,” he asked, “how much could you call that a life?”

[maryxglz]

Tom Hiddleston was posing for a portrait, and the face he showed the camera wasn’t entirely his own.

That had been his idea, to slip for a few moments into the character he’s playing on Broadway, in Harold Pinter’s “Betrayal”: Robert, the cheated-on husband and backstabbed best friend whose coolly proper facade is the carapace containing a crumbling man. And when Mr. Hiddleston became him, the change was instantaneous: the guarded stillness of his body, the chill reserve in his gray-blue eyes.

“It’s interesting,” Mr. Hiddleston said after a while, analyzing Robert’s expression from the inside. “It gives less away.” A pause, and then his own smile flickered back, its pleasure undisguised. “O.K.,” Mr. Hiddleston announced, himself again, “it’s not Robert anymore.”

It was late on a muggy August morning, one day before the show’s first preview at the Bernard B. Jacobs Theater, and Mr. Hiddleston — the classically trained British actor best known for playing the winsomely chaotic villain Loki, god of mischief and brother of Thor, in the Marvel film franchise — had been in New York for less than a week.

He’ll be here all autumn for the limited run of the production, a hit in London earlier this year, but he wasn’t going to pretend that he’d settled in. “I literally have never sat in this room before,” he’d said at the top of the photo shoot, in his cramped auxiliary dressing room, next door to the similarly tiny one he had been occupying.

He’d had nothing to do with the space’s camera-ready décor. So there was no use making a metaphor of the handsome clock with its hands stopped at 12 (“Betrayal” is famous for its reverse chronology; far more apt if the clock had run backward), or of the compact stack of pristine books that looked like journals, with pretty covers and presumably empty pages: a bit off-brand for Mr. Hiddleston, who at 38 has a model-perfect exterior with quite a lot inscribed inside.

Take the matter-of-fact way he said, in explaining that he’d first encountered Pinter’s work when he studied for his A-levels in English literature, theater, Latin and Greek: “It was a real tossup between French and Spanish or Latin and Greek. I thought, I can always speak French and Spanish, I can’t always read Latin and Greek, so I’ll study that and I’ll speak the other two.”

Though, to be fair, he only said that because I’d teased him slightly about the Latin and Greek, and I’d teased him — not a recommended journalistic technique — because he was so disarmingly good-humored and resolutely down to earth, chatting away as he waited for the photographer to set up a shot. It didn’t seem like it would ruffle him. He laughed, actually.

From a one-night reading to Broadway

In this country, Mr. Hiddleston is mainly a screen star, known also for playing Jonathan Pine in the John le Carré series “The Night Manager” on AMC. There are plans, too, for him to bring Loki to Disney’s streaming service in a stand-alone series.

But at home in London, he has amassed some impressive Shakespearean credits, including the title roles in Kenneth Branagh’s “Hamlet” and Josie Rourke’s “Coriolanus,” and a turn as Cassio in Michael Grandage’s “Othello” — a production that Pinter, saw some months before he died in 2008. That was the year Mr. Hiddleston won a best newcomer Olivier Award for Cheek by Jowl’s “Cymbeline.”

Jamie Lloyd’s “Betrayal,” which has a staging to match the spareness of Pinter’s language and a roiling well of squelched emotion to feed its comedy, is Mr. Hiddleston’s Broadway debut. Likewise for his co-stars, Zawe Ashton (of Netflix’s “Velvet Buzzsaw”), who plays Emma, Robert’s wife; and Charlie Cox (of Netflix’s “Daredevil”), who plays Emma’s lover, Jerry, Robert’s oldest friend.

Beginning at what appears to be the end of Robert and Emma’s marriage, after her yearslong affair with Jerry has sputtered to a stop, it’s a drama of cascading double-crosses. First staged by Peter Hall in London in 1978 — and in 1980 on Broadway, where it starred Roy Scheider, Blythe Danner and Raul Julia — it rewinds through time to the sozzled evening when Emma and Jerry overstep the line.

The most recent Broadway revival was just six years ago, directed by Mike Nichols and starring Daniel Craig as Robert, Rachel Weisz as Emma and Rafe Spall as Jerry. It might seem too soon for another, let alone one with sexiness to spare — except that Mr. Lloyd’s production is also marked by a palpable hauntedness and a profound sense of loss.

Reviewing the London staging in The New York Times, Matt Wolf called it “a benchmark achievement for everyone involved,” showing the play “in a revealing, even radical, new light.” Michael Billington, in The Guardian, called Mr. Hiddleston’s performance “superb.”

What’s curious is that Mr. Hiddleston, so good at bad boys, isn’t playing Jerry, the more glamorous role: the cad, the pursuer, the best man who goes after the bride. But Mr. Lloyd said that casting him that way was never part of their discussions.

Last fall, when Mr. Lloyd persuaded Mr. Hiddleston to read a scene with Ms. Ashton for a one-night gala celebration of Pinter in London, part of the season-long Pinter at the Pinter series, there was no grand plan. Having asked Mr. Hiddleston about a possible collaboration for years, since “just before he became ridiculously famous,” Mr. Lloyd said, this was the first time he got a yes.

“I just really admired his craft of acting, the precision of his acting, as well as his real emotional depth and his real wit,” Mr. Lloyd said. “And he’s turned into what I think is the epitome of a great Pinter actor. Because if you’re in a Pinter play, you have to dig really deep and connect to terrible loss or excruciating pain, often massive volcanic emotion, and then you have to bottle it all up. You have to suppress it all.”

This, he added, is what Mr. Hiddleston does in “Betrayal,” where characters’ meaning is found between and behind the words, not inside them.

“Some of the pain that he’s created in Robert, it’s just unbearable, and yet he always keeps a lid on it,” Mr. Lloyd said.

The scene Mr. Hiddleston and Ms. Ashton read at the gala appears at the midpoint of “Betrayal”: Robert and Emma on vacation in Venice, at a moment that leaves their marriage with permanent damage. Within days, Mr. Hiddleston told Mr. Lloyd that he was on board for a full production.

‘What remains private’

Photos taken, back in the faintly more lived-in of his Broadway dressing rooms, Mr. Hiddleston opened the window to let in some Midtown air — and when you’re as tall as he is, 6 feet 2 inches, opening it from the top of the window frame is easy enough to do. Then, making himself an espresso with his countertop machine, he sat down to talk at length.

“I’m always curious about the presentation of a character’s external persona versus the interior,“ he said. “What remains private, hidden, concealed, protected, and what does the character allow to be seen? We all have a very complex internal world, and not all of that is on display in our external reality.”

He can tick off the ways that various characters of his conceal what’s inside: Loki, with all that rage and vulnerability “tucked away”; the ultra-proper spy Jonathan Pine, in “The Night Manager,” “hiding behind his politeness”; Robert, a lonely man wearing “a mask of control” that renders him “confident, powerful, polished,” at least as far as any onlookers can tell.

In “Betrayal,” each of the three principals has an enormous amount to hide from the people who are meant to be their closest intimates. It’s a play about power and manipulation, duplicity and misplaced trust, and what’s so threatening about it is the very ordinariness of its privileged milieu. This snug little world that once seemed so safe and ideal — the happiest of families, the oldest of friends — has long since fallen apart.

But to Mr. Hiddleston, Pinter’s drama contains two themes just as significant as betrayal: isolation and loneliness.

“The sadness in the play — it’s not only sadness; because it’s Pinter, there’s wit and levity as well — but if there is sadness in the play,” he said, “I think it comes from the fact that these betrayals render Robert, Emma and Jerry more alone than they were before.”

Trust and self-protection

One-on-one, Mr. Hiddleston was more cautious than he’d been during the photo shoot, surrounded then by a gaggle of people affiliated with the show. Still, when I asked him about betrayal, lowercase, he went straight to the condition it violates.

“To trust is a profound commitment, and to trust is to make oneself vulnerable,” he said, fidgeting with a red rubber band and choosing his words with care. “It’s such an optimistic act, because you’re putting your faith in the hands of someone or something which you expect to remain constant, even if the circumstances change.”

“I’m disappearing down a rabbit hole here,” he said, “but I think about it a lot. I think about certainty and uncertainty. Trust is a way of managing uncertainty. It’s a way of finding security in saying, ‘Perhaps all of this is uncertain, but I trust you.’ Or, ‘I trust this.’ And there’s a lot of uncertainty in the world at the moment, so it becomes harder to trust, I suppose.”

An interview itself is an act of trust, albeit often a wary one. And there was one stipulated no-go zone in this encounter, a condition mentioned by a publicist only after I’d arrived: No talk of Taylor Swift, with whom Mr. Hiddleston had a brief, intense, headline-generating romance that, post-breakup, she evidently spun into song lyrics.

That was three years ago, and I hadn’t been planning to bring her up; given the context of the play, though, make of that prohibition what you will. Mr. Hiddleston, who once had a tendency to pour his heart out to reporters, knows that he can’t stop you.

“It’s not possible, and nor should it be possible, to control what anyone thinks about you,” he said. “Especially if it’s not based in any, um —” he gave a soft, joyless laugh — “if it’s not based in any reality.”

That’s something he’s learned about navigating fame — about being put on a pedestal that’s then kicked out from under him. He knows now “to let go of the energy that comes toward me, be it good or bad,” he said. “Because naturally in the early days I took responsibility for it.”

“And yes, I’m protective about my internal world now in probably a different way,” he added, his tone as restrained as his words. He took a beat, and so much went unsaid in what he said next: “That’s because I didn’t realize it needed protecting before.”

Even so, he doesn’t give the impression of having closed himself off. When something genuinely made him laugh, he smiled a smile that cracked his face wide open.

And the way he treated the people around him at work — with a fundamental respect, regardless of rank, and no whiff of flattery — made him seem sincere about what he called “staying true to the part of myself that’s quite simple, that’s quite ordinary.”

That investment in his ordinariness, as he put it, is a hedge against the destabilizing trappings of fame, but it doubles as a way of protecting his craft.

It’s also of a piece with his insistence that vulnerability is a necessary risk to take, at least sometimes.

“If you go through life without connecting to people,” he asked, “how much could you call that a life?”

[happywitch416]

Thank you for the tag @lechatrouge673

rules: answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers you want to get to know better.

name: Erin 

nickname: Damn It Honey, when I chose this url for every platform I am on people started calling me Happy and I am still indignant about that. lol 

zodiac sign:  Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Aquarius Rising

height:  5′6 (yes I do bitch about how “short” I am. My entire family is 6 foot plus and it gave me a complex lol)

languages: English, I know enough Spanish to understand simple directions and not embarrass myself.

Nationality: Irish, French, German. Several generations of my family on both sides have been crazy about the whole genealogy thing so we do actually know REALLY far back and then they did the dna stuff. It was interesting! I was raised being told I was Cherokee, like great-grandma was, my whole life and turns out, in fact, my father is just a jackass.

favorite season: Fall. The leafs fall down and the skeletons come out to play.

favorite flower: Roses, all varieties! The traditional roses are some of the most gorgeous flowers on this earth but the new breeds have such beautiful colors. And smells. I also like dogwoods and wisteria. 

favorite scent: Vanilla, cinnamon, clove, nutmeg. 

favorite color: Purple, black, grey

favorite animal: Cats big and small, elephants, unicorns

favorite fictional character:  Varric Tethras. Lucivar and Marian. Glorianna Belladonna. Eowyn. Galadriel. Anora. Xena. Seven of Nine. Janeway. Lily. Phedre. Selene. Morag. Ashk. Karla. Morrigan. Isabela. Serana. Aela the Huntress. Piper. Longfellow. Lara Croft. Jonah Maiava. Ahsoka. The List is endless.

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: I drink coffee almost every morning. Tea most afternoons. Hot chocolate a time or two a month. 

average hours of sleep:  5

cat or dog person: Cats. Dogs are such loud, smelly creatures. 

number of blankets you sleep with:  Depends on the temperature. I prefer my bedroom to be frigid so I can have a whole pile of them.  

dream trip: Off this damned planet. 

broadway shows seen: None. I am not actually sure I know where you can even see such things around here. Surely somewhere in the city? 

favorite breakfast: Cinnamon Granola with regular milk or noosa yogurt. 

a random fact: I once won an official oreo stacking contest. That same year I won an advance copy of the Goblet of Fire in an essay contest. I have won nothing since. 

I am no obligation tagging @joufancyhuh @kagetsukai @kaleidoscopegirl @halfblood-fiend @rhetoricalrogue

[antonfm]

can     u     believe     that     a     whole     entire     day          after     the     rp     opens          ,          i     finally     have     my     shit     together     enough     to     post     an     intro          !          can     u     fuckin     believe     it          !          anyways          ,          i’m     elliot          (          she/they          )          ,          i’m     20     n     i’m     a     supreme     dumbass     who     needs     2     get     their     life     together     on     so     many     levels          .  .  .          it’s     fine     though          !          completely     fine          !          totally     n     utterly     fine          !!!

(          timothee     chalamet          &          cis     male          )          who          ??          these     days          ,          it’s     all     about     anton     olivier          ,          who     comes     from     manhattan          ,          ny          ,          and     is     making     headlines     as     an     actor          .          he     currently     has     a     fan     count     of     45.9k          ,          no     thanks     to     the     rumours     of     them     being     vainglorious          !          but          ,          on     the     other     hand          ,          his     most     devout     fans     say     he’s     actually     retiary          .          last     i     heard          ,          he     caused     quite     a     buzz     when     he     was     caught     leaving     multiple     lovers’     houses     despite     being     in     an     allegedly     ‘     committed     ’     relationship          !          it’s     no     wonder     they     remind     me     of     inky     black     as     a     beautiful     contrast     to     stark     white          ,          tastes     of     fake     blood          &          bourbon     dancing     a     mistimed     tango     on     your     tongue          ,          stacks     of     literary     classics     like     small     mountains     on     your     living     room     floor          ,          abandoned     chastity     ring          (          ruby     red     gemstone          ,          isn’t     it     ironic          ?          )          ,          heat     -     slick     kisses     smeared     to     the     corner     of     your     mouth          ;          dark     academia          /          technicolour     ghost     disappearing     in     the     middle     of     a     crowd          ,          slipping     into     the     back     of     a     lecture     theatre     abound     with     rapt     attention          ,          pressing     bruises     into     not     -     yet     -     ripe     fruit     for     the     thrill     of     watching     it     wilt     beneath     satin     touch          .

𝔩𝔞𝔶𝔢𝔯     𝔬𝔫𝔢     .          rudimentals          .

full     name:     anton     françois     olivier     . nicknames,     aliases:

ant     .

mon     cher     .          (          by     his     mother     .          )

age:     twenty     -     three     . date     of     birth:     october     fifteenth     . place     of     birth:     manhattan         ,         new     york     city     . nationality:     american     . ethnicity:     caucasian     (     french     )     . spoken     languages:     english          ,          fluent     french          (          spoken     in     household     more     commonly     than     english          )          .

zodiac     sign:     scorpio     . hogwarts     house:     slytherin     . myers     -     briggs:     infp     -     t     .

career     claims:     charlie     heaton     ,     some     of     bill     skargsard’s     stuff     .          (          i’ll     write     his     imdb     page     later     .          )

𝔩𝔞𝔶𝔢𝔯     𝔱𝔴𝔬     .          physicals          .

height:     six     foot     three     . weight:     157     lbs     .

complexion:     pale     ,     scarily     so     .     nothing     medical     about     it     ,     just     a     natural     pallid     sheen     to     sharp     features     .     a     small     ,     light     dusting     of     freckles     over     the     nose     and     cheeks     and     forehead     .      face     shape:     heart     -     shaped     ,     incredibly     angular     .     sharp     cheekbones     and     jawline     ,     square     and     dashing     in     a     sinister     kind     of     way     .     very     thin     ,     very     gaunt     .      facial     quirks:     in     some     lights     his     left     eye     is     ever     so     slightly     lighter     than     the     other     ,     but     it’s     a     trick     of     the     light     .

hair:     black     ,     naturally     so     (     your     mother’s     hair     )     .     has     a     slight     natural     wave     that     sometimes     springs     to     a     loose     curl     .     recently     ,     you’ve     grown     it     out     so     that     it     curls     around     the     nape     of     your     neck     and     falls     into     your     eyes     .     typically     ,     strands     are     tucked     behind     your     ears     unless     they     fall     out     of     place     .     soft     ,     incredibly     so     --- -     cherry     blossom     shampoo     and     conditioner     ensures     that     . eyes:     bright     blue     ,     cobalt     .     golden     rings     around     the     pupils     ,     with     green     and     hazel     flecks     throughout     .     lashes     are     unfairly     long     and     dark     ,     a     prettily     sooty     smudge     against     the     high     ridge     of     your     cheekbones     .     brows     are     dark     and     expressive     ,     unruly     ,     arched     ever     so     slightly     .     dark     indigo     bags     underneath     your     eyes     aren’t     an     unusual     sight     ,     results     of     too     -     long     nights     and     a     strange     work     schedule     . nose:     your     mother’s     button     nose     ,     small     and     straight     and     ‘     lovely     ’     according     to     your     rabid     fan     base     .     nothing     much     to     say     about     it     otherwise     .     you     considered     piercing     it     when     you     were     fifteen     and     going     through     it     for     unknown     reasons     .      mouth:     relatively     normal     lips     ,     slightly     plusher     lower     lip     but     that’s     not     saying     much     .     chewed     ,     bitten     ,     chapped     like     nothing     else     /     favourite     flavour     of     burt’s     bees     is     pomegranate     .     teeth     are     white     ,     straight     ,     pretty     good     teeth          ;          indents     of     which     often     find     themselves     deep     in     that     lower     lip     .

scars:     none     of     note     .     the     typical     petite     white     scars     of     childhood     across     knees     and     elbows     ,     but     nothing     too     serious     . tattoos,     piercings:     none     .     there     are     plans     in     the     works     ,     but     currently          ?          nothing     . more     body     modifications:     again     ,     nothing     .     bitch     is     boring     .

𝔩𝔞𝔶𝔢𝔯     𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔢𝔢     .          biographicals          .

not     quite     your     typical     tale     of     boy     -     meets     girl          ;          art     gallery     curator     curator     watches     broadway     ‘     ingénue     ’          &          falls     head     over     heels     in     an     infatuation     that     borders     on     obsession     but     is     returned     tenfold     .     adele     st     .     croix     can’t     believe     her     luck          (          moved     to     manhattan     just     two     years     previously          ,          resumé     builds     beyond     belief          ,          engagement     to     a     big     name     is     imminent          !          )          and     pierre     -     louis     olivier     has     never     been     so     deeply     in     love     before          .          the     courtship     is     wonderful          ,          twilight     walks     in     the     park          ,          regular     dates     at     terribly     romantic     restaurants          ,          soft     kisses     on     random     stoops     and     rough          ,          impassioned     kisses     on     your     own          .          the     engagement     comes     in     1995          ,          &          a     year     later          ,          marriage     is     a     cover     story     and     a     four     -     page     spread     in     all     the     glossy     tabloids     your     mother     loves     to     collect          .          

your     conception     comes     as     a     shock          ,          of     course          .          neither     wanted     children     so     early          ,          just     a     year     into     their     marriage     but     the     very     first     time     that     your     mother’s     silky     -     smooth     hands     rest     on     the     then     -     flat     expanse     of     her     belly     it’s     over          .          unspoken     talks     of     termination     that     weighed     uncomfortably     heavily     on     unmoving     tongues     are     quashed          ,          replaced     by     fluttering     anticipation     of     a     child          .          your     impending     birth     is     announced     three     months     after     your     parents     find     out     they’re     expecting     you          ,          &          soon     enough     your     own     infantile     chunk     of     their     upper     east     side     penthouse          (          a     grandiose     wedding     present          )          is     carved     out          ;          decked     in     earthy     tones     and     warm     creams          ,          pastels     of     all     shades     and     joy     woven     into     each     choice          ,          you     are     a     source     of     joy     to     rival     the     sun          .

birth     is     almost     perfect          ,          only     one     day     past     your     due     date          .          naturally     your     first     breath     is     a     noisy     one          ,          wailing     and     crying     and     oh          ,          how     they     adore     you     already          !          adoration     seeps     into     your     bones     from     the     first     time     mother     holds     you          ,          presses     a     kiss     to     your     head     and     breathes     in     that     lavender         ,         fresh     -     linen     new     baby     smell          .          from     that     very     first     moment     love     is     ingrained     into     every     single     pore          ;          love     is     what     you     breathe          ,          what     you     feed     on          ,          what     you     see     the     world     through          .          your     mother     and     father     are     almost     sickeningly     in     love          ,          true     dotage     in     its     finest     form     and     later     in     life     you     suppose     you’re     lucky     to     have     grown     up     with     such     a     wonderful     idea     of     what     true     romance     is     meant     to     look     like          .          they     love     each     other          ,          and     they     love     you          .

childhood     is     wonderful          ,          if     you’re     perfectly     honest          .          it’s     a     blur     of     ice     cream     at     fancy     parlours     after     your     mother     picks     you     up     from     school          ,          renting     movies     and     getting     wonderful     takeaway     and     laughing     until     your     sides     ache          .          it’s     freshly     -     laundered     uniforms     that     just     look     so     damn     precious          ,          school     ties     in     immaculate     windsor     knots          .          (          schools     are     all     catholic          ,          of     course          ;          some     things     die     hard          ,          but     your     mother     and     father’s     commitment     to     their     faith     dies     harder          .          )          church     on     sunday     mornings          ,          followed     by     brunch     and     a     movie          /          picturesque          ,          absolutely     perfect          .          ignore     the     paparazzi     trailing     behind     you          ,          though          .          ignore     the     fact     that     despite     everything          ,          a     childhood     dripping     with     luxury     and     privilege     is     not     really     a     normal     childhood          .          normal     children     don’t     dress     in     such     expensive     clothes     in     their     free     time          ,          normal     children     don’t     understand     the     complete     and     utter         hedonism     that     you’re     enabled          .          

it’s     only     a     matter     of     time     before     you     find     your     calling          ,          though          .          you     are     fourteen          ,          already     a     gangly     mess     of     too     -     long     limbs     and     charming     smile     and     curls     that     melt     even     the     iciest     of     glares          .          you’ve     sat     in     the     backs     of     theatres     while     your     mother     rehearses     for     your     entire     life          ,          and     stepping     into     the     harsh     spotlight     itself     feels     like     home     in     a     way     you     can’t     possibly     describe     in     either     of     the     tongues     that     crowd     your     mouth          .          your     first     performance     is     macbeth          ,          and     you     dominate     like     nothing     else          ,          tragic     figure     with     a     mouth     of     steel          .          for     the     next     few     years     of     your     high     school     education     you     always     score     the     leading     role          ,          not     through     anything     but     the     sheer     force     of     your     talent          .          acting     is     second     nature     to     you          ,          a     comfortable     set     of     skins     you     fall     into     like     it’s     nothing          ,          like     they’re     nothing          .

sixteen     when     you     get     your     first     gig     ,     a     guest     appearance     in     some     established     police     procedural     ,     but     it’s     a     rush     like     nothing     else     .     one     gig     leads     to     another     ,     and     another     ,     and     another     !     it’s     not     until     you’re     hired     by     netflix     to     do     their     biggest     hit     ,     some     then     -     untitled     sci     -     fi     horror     80s     thing     ,     that     you     take     off     like     nothing     else     and     god     ,     it’s     like     nothing     you’ve     ever     known     .     blockbusters     are     offered     to     you     after     your     second     season     airs     ,     you     find     yourself     in     cameos     in     fucking     marvel     movies     ,     &     yet     nothing’s     quite     as     thrilling     as     horror     .     something     crawls     under     your     skin     the     first     day     you     shoot     stranger     things     ,     and     it’s     stuck     ever     since          ;          you     make     a     good     archetype     ,     the     dopey     yet     helpful     boyfriend     ,     the     white     knight     .     you’re     barely     nineteen     when     you     decide     what     your     avenue     is     and     make     a     conscientious     decision     to     stick     to     it     .

and     now          ?          your     imdb     page     glitters     ,     cacophany     of     roles     quite     unlike     each     other     ,     bad     guy     and     good     guy     and     killer     and     saviour     ,     all     crammed     in     together     .     didn’t     think     you     had     time     but     somewhere     you     met     someone     ,     fell     in     love     ,     started     dating     ,     all     that          ;          but     that     bleeding     ,     genuine     heart     of     yours     can’t     be     contained     ,     falls     in     love     five     times     a     day     ,     catches     itself     upon     the     hooks     of     others     and     impulse     control     is     a     long     -     forgotten     acquaintance     .     newspapers     call     you     a     heartbreaker     ,     but     you     never     break     hearts          ;          you     simply     leave     your     scent     on     bedsheets     and     heartbeats     alike     ,     prettiest     kind     of     ghost     .     sometimes     you     play     up     the     ‘     arrogant     heartbreaking     dipshit     ’     spiel     for     interviews     but     with     you     ,     what     you     see     is     what     you     get     :     passionate     ,     driven     ,     emotional     .     a     fervour     .     a     lover     ,     a     romantic     ,     altruistic     kinds     of     chaos     .     the     prettiest     kind     of     confusion     ,     all     wrapped     up     under     that     surname     .     oh     darling     ,     you’re     the     nicest     kind     of     sweet     nightmare     and     you     don’t     even     know     it     .

𝔩𝔞𝔶𝔢𝔯     𝔣𝔬𝔲𝔯     .          wanted     connections          .

the     committed     relationship     .

the     string     of     lovers     he’s     been     seeing     .

exes     ,     on     any     kinds     of     terms     .

school     friends     from     forever     ago     .

co     -     stars     .

rivals     !!!!

literally     anything     PLEASE

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep 11 pt 2: Seto Discovers Vulture Capitalism

Where were we on this arc that ended up being hella longer than I thought it would be? Oh yeah, Last we left the crew, Tristan’s body, now possessed by Nezbitt, was just racing away with Mokuba. This kid gets abducted so often, it’s never occurred to me that anyone in this show would think this is weird. So, when Noah showed up to intervene with actual common sense it was a good bit of whiplash for me.

It’s like the same whiplash I got back when Noah attempted to forfeit a rigged game (for the first time in this entire series). Like I get that Noah is the villain, but how is the evil kid way better at this common sense thing than...a lot of people who’ve been on this show? Not that Noah’s always smart, of course, he still doesn’t seem totally with it on a lot of things (like interior design, which we will get to in a sec) but wow. Noah actually called out this entire show with “Really? Mokuba? Again?”

And so you know what that means? We get to see Noah’s sweet pad in this VR world where Noah could have created anything. Literally anything. To start, he made himself a fireplace with a tiny tiny stack of wood (pretty sure Noah might not know how fires work) and...some sort of...curse on the mantle.

Maybe the mantle couldn’t read the typeface that Noah wanted to use on the mantle?

The rest of the room is just this. Just this.

You know what this no-walls aesthetic SUPER reminds me of?

Pocket Camp. Like this just looks like a Pocket Camp set up to me. In fact...I’m pretty sure I can make almost this exact room in Pocket Camp.

Noah’s just inviting Mokuba over with the bare minimum of ugly ass furniture he needs to have a person over at his campsite he pretends is a house while he waits patiently for the real version of Animal Crossing to come to Switch.

Leichter has an accent that is very old-fashioned Americana and doesn’t wholly make sense in the context of him living in urban Japan, like there’s a whole story there I’d be curious about. But most likely, they were probably trying to cover up the fact that they were using the same 5 voice actors by having him pull out the Clark Gable impression.

And then Seto did not use a Blue Eyes as his deck Master. Instead he used....this guy.

This is a lot of guy to take in. I...I don’t like it.

During this duel we get a Seto Kaiba flashback--and it’s an honest flashback this time, no clones are going to show up and reenact this performance, this is just a straight up flashback.

We’re transported back to Gozoboro’s long buffet table. He really, really loves this thing. It’s like the only place he and his kids ever seem to hang out. Surprised Mokuba and Seto don’t need glasses after squinting so hard to see their own Father for so many years. Also surprised Mokuba and Seto even know what their Dad looks like up close.

Anyways, he sits down at the table and shouts really loudly so it can reach the other side of the room.

Also, just gonna bring this up, we’ve only seen one other guy obsessed with long tables--let me do some digging to a S1 cap, one sec:

Maybe this is just what evil Dads who wear Salmon do?  They get hella long tables to seat their 0 friends and just sit at one of the ends and monologue until something important happens. I mean y’all know how much I love this storyboarder but boy they have a thing for villains and long tables.

Anyways, back to Season 3.

(bro’s telling me he does not know about Thoroughly Modern Millie and like can you believe neither Hulu or Netflix has that musical? I mean that musical is problematic as hell, as is all Broadway but maybe I want to watch some 1920′s dancing.)

Anyways, cue Gozaboro shuffling in a comedically large pile of money on a very small pushcart. About 1,099,520,000.00 Yen’s worth. But the show will simplify it for the Americans.

This episode of Yugioh was made around 2002, and this just followed the .com bubble bursting in California. (and before that happened, it was preceded by a recession in Japan that affected the .com bubble quite a bit) For those here who were not born yet and do not remember this happening, this was like, pretty horrifying. I grew up in the Bay where 90% of everyone still works in tech, so I remember that after the bubble burst there were kids in our school who’s parents used to have great salaries and a steady income, who suddenly had to pick up shifts at Starbucks to get back on their feet.

So, it’s interesting that we have this kid’s show basically showing us point blank what Vulture Capitalism is and how it works. You’d think this business stuff would normally go over kid’s heads, but at the time, I think a lot of kids wanted to know what happened to their families but maybe didn’t understand it?

So Kaiba is gonna get into investing all of a sudden, which is kind of weird, mostly because it involved no playing cards. Also because this happened:

Yeah, what? He’s apparently not even adopted yet, which means Seto could still turn around and tell the News that he beat Gozaboro in a match but, I guess that old threat has aged out.

It’s inferred that Seto’s been living here like for several years now. You’d think this guy would list some dependents just for the tax cuts, but nah, Gozaboro just shoved these two into the gigantic 5000 sq ft closet under the stairs of his huge mansion and forgot about them for a couple years.

So, armed with money that is printed on single Yen bills and being pushed around Kaiba in a little tiny cart, Seto has to formulate a plan. Problem is, his business skills include a.) beating up other orphans b.) doing math pretty good and c.) playing cards.

When Seto is like “I don’t care what the company sells, just get me a company to buy” that’s like a straight reference to the .com bubble, but minus the complicated stock market stuff.

For the kid’s in the room that don’t know a thing about this era, tech companies were being created en masse, and because the internet was new and exciting, all of their worth was in their stock rather than in their products--if they even had a product. Mostly they just had big overreaching ideas they were pretty sure would make them all millionaires. But the product didn’t really matter since no one ever reads any numbers when all they plan to do is turn around and immediately sell anyway. They just assumed that if they put on the pressure, they would drive up the value, and would sell before anyone figured out it was all worthless.

This actually worked for so many years, up until people at the top all started demanding real money from the people at the bottom, much like how Seto needed 100 million dollars ASAP from an unsuspecting...whatever company this was. Vulture Capitalism at it’s finest, expecting exponential and unrealistic growth from any company, and if, the growth isn’t met, just selling the whole damn thing after driving every employee to the hospital for overwork.

Now, normally Vulture Capitalism is only if an investor buys a struggling company intending to sell directly afterwards, but since Seto made them struggle like immediately after purchasing, I think we can still call this that.

(And we still do this to this day, PS, we’ve learned nothing from the .com crash.)

This really bad child’s outfit is my favorite Mokuba outfit. I mean...it’s so bad. No wonder Mokuba was picked on so often as a child, wow. He’s like a late-80′s news anchor.

Also, I have NO idea how Seto got any money back so quickly. That doesn’t...totally make sense. But, this is a kid’s show and we have to simplify this whole thing into a sensible package. I mean there’s way more to the whole  .com problem but...this show wasn’t literally doing a .com...just a really heavy reference to it.

And much like how people valued stock more than what companies actually were, Seto’s value was a lot of the same. His worth to his Father wasn’t that of a son, it was entirely held up in potential dollar signs. To Gozaboro, Seto's nothing more than a small company he’ll extort straight into...a more emotional type of bankruptcy. Framed alongside the .com crash, this is sort of like, ah, I see what you’re doing, Yugioh. The way Seto was screwing this company was the same way he was already screwed. It’s basically all he knows, and it is a lot of heavy handed foreshadowing.

Anyway, Seto destroyed a company with 10 mill, which is nothing compared to the amount of money vulture capitalists toss around nowadays.

The Big 5 may have honestly done a better job raising Kaiba than Gozoburo since this guy acted as an advisor rather than a boss, but it’s a very, very low bar these boys have set and so far, very few adults have met it. All you have to do is just try and not kill them and you’re already better than all of Kaiba’s father figures.

With the exception of Roland, of course. Youknow, other than Grandpa, Roland is like the only good Dad on this show. Never thought Roland would look like such a shining star. Man, Roland better not screw everyone over or I will be so disappointed in him.

Anyways, the Yugi crew found a fully fueled truck from Soviet Era Russia buried in one of those warehouses.

They censor so much stuff that gives away that Yugioh is from another country, and they kept in the 3-wheeler pickup? As if any North American child would have any idea what they’re looking at right now? Maybe they just assumed we’d think it was sci-fi?

Also, then this happened?

...OK then.

Not sure how Satellite Laser works outside the context of VR. But, at least here in the VR Zone, we can send a Satellite Laser into space because...Space exists here? In VR?

This world is weirdly very small but also very big at the same time. It’s like Katamari.

Anyway, that’s all for this episode, next episode we find out if Kaiba will hack a laser for the second time in this series. Also we find out if Joey can jump a sonic-the-hedgehog broken highway with a 3-wheeled European-as-hell Pickup Truck.

Also...close enough?

Pocket camp really needs more yellow sleeveless puff jackets.

And here’s a link to read the recaps in Chrono order from Ep1 S1

[mashitandsmashit]

America’s Got Talent: Season 14 - Auditions 6

First of all, Ra’ed was Ra’obbed! They will NEVER have a brilliant singer/songwriter like him on this show again! M. Bison never looked so FABULOOOOUUUUSSSS!!!

Kidding aside, let’s talk about our final audition, and then we’ll reflect on these auditions in general and discuss what to expect moving ahead...

So here goes!

10: The Sentimentalists. I know these two! They were some of the caretakers of the Baudelaire orphans! Boy did Count Olaf have to jump through hoops to trick THESE folks! But seriously, I find them both very entertaining, especially quirky/creepy bellhop lady...But as the judges pointed out, the tricks were lacking, and we’ve seen pretty much everything they had to offer before...They really did feel like the bargain bin Clairvoyants...I hope they improve, because I like THEM...I just don’t like the act yet...

9: Gonzo. He’s come a long way since his Muppet days...And he never looked so good! (Though I do wonder how things are going with him and Camilla...) I guess he’s dropped the usual daredevil stunts to...play the tambourine! Anyway, this was amusing, but I’ve seen other acts this season that had a little more of that silly charm...Still, that stone face and sexy outfit added a lot!

8: Matthew Richardson. Probably the best Cyr wheel acrobat we’ve seen so far...But it’s not like it was such a high bar in the first place! Don’t get me wrong, a LOT of practice must go into all this...It’s just nothing that’s gonna stick with me...This was impressive, just not super-memorable...Though I’m sure plenty of ladies are already getting their phones ready to vote for the good-looking underwear model in the glittery paint!

7: Olivia Calderon. Howie says this isn’t his cup of tea...even though back in Season 7, he gave the Wildcard to that mariachi kid who ALSO sang “My Way”! Whatever, the judges are inconsistent, what else is new? Regardless, while she didn’t hit every note perfectly, I still really enjoyed her singing and look forward to seeing *insert “Coco” reference here*!

6: Luke Islam. Surprise, surprise, Julie’s Golden Buzzer is another singer...I would have liked a LITTLE more variety, just one more non-singer outside the violin kid (and maybe a girl...Kinda interesting that this year’s GBs are proving to be a bit of a sausage fest, seeing that the majority of them are usually female, preferably of the preadolescent variety...) But despite all that, I’ll let Julie have this one, as this kid is both very likable and very talented! He may need some coaching before he’s ready for Broadway, but he’s on his way...Until then, he’s ready for AGT!

5: Kara with a K. Oh look, it’s the Southern Melissa McCarthy! I guess when in doubt, keep talking and sooner or later a joke or two will hit...Also helps if you pack some fast food in your cleavage! Anyway, while this lady could potentially become annoying, for now I would say she gave me the most chuckles as well as entertainment out of all of the stand-up comedians in this round! And she sure knows how to split...as well as fall down!

4: Duo MainTenanT. NOW these acrobatic acts are gettin’ steamy! I bet couples everywhere are watching this and whipping out their notebooks! Only from France, mon cheri! I see a lot of potential with these two, though whether or not they reach that potential is yet to be seen...

3: Revolution Queens. It’s like Malevo, but female and with more screaming! I think Malevo even used that same song in one of their performances...(So is Marilyn Manson, like, a thing in Argentina?) I still hold to my opinion that nothing beats just letting the drums, shoes and whips make the music, no backing-track involved, which Malevo spoiled us with for their first performance...So with that, they peaked too early...As for these ladies, while I’ve mostly seen this all before from Male-vo (Get it?), it is new seeing women do it...And I don’t think I’ve seen any of the men swing a whip with their mouths! Either way, I’m willing to give them a chance!

2: Chris Klafford. Who knew the Amazing Atheist had such a beautiful voice! This man has effectively dethroned Charlotte Summers as the best overall singer of the auditions. “Imagine” is a difficult song to both display one’s voice and make unique, but he pulled it off! I can now officially root for Lamont Landers to get knocked out by this guy (both figuratively AND literally! I mean look at the guy! He’s almost as big as Terry! I’m sure he’s sweet and gentle most of the time, but I would not want to get on his bad side, much less a nerd like Lamont! I wonder what it would be like if he, Terry, Ra’ed and the guy from Bir Khalsa joined into one group! All I gotta say is beware, right? I mean it would make for one hell of a wrestling troupe and-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEtm_Q2LK9g Okay, okay!)

1: Robert Finley. Looks like the Masqueraders left a man behind...While the previous entry has a more unique and polished voice, this cool cat also has an impressive voice for his age, plus the bonus of having written the song (and it was a pretty damn good song, if I do say so myself!) And as it turns out, this man is no joke: https://www.amazon.com/Goin-Platinum-Robert-Finley/dp/B076188VCZ Not only is he dropping albums, he’s even been working with the guy from the Black Keys, which is yet more automatic cool points! It’s hard to say how far he’ll make it in this competition despite how awesome he is, because the competition is STACKED! But for now, he took the stage, wrapped it up in bacon, and SIZZLED!!!

This last audition was pretty singer-centric, but I overall really liked all of the singers, and there were some pretty solid variety acts as well! Not quite the best audition, but not the weakest either!

And that about wraps it up (in bacon) for this season’s auditions, and I gotta say, it was quite solid! Everyone who made it (and were concentrated on) felt justified in some way or another...Even the stupid acts were all amusing, and even the singers who I wasn’t big on were at least in some way interesting or special...And what’s more, Simon did a pretty good job weeding out the trite! I guess he’s good for something after all...He just needed a little time to get into the swing of it...

And while the Golden Buzzers weren’t QUITE as varied as I would have liked, they do all have some kind of star quality to them, and I can see all of them earning a place in the finals, assuming they don’t cancel each other out...

But as it is, Kodi Lee IS the would-be winner of the season...While I knew he would go far, I didn’t think of him as the potential winner at first...And then something happened: Everyone kept talking about him! It’s just like what happened with artists like Kevin Skinner and Grace VanderWaal; They won by the power of their influence!

That said, after last season, I wouldn’t rule out the chances of an upset...But for that to happen, there would have to be a sizable backlash against Kodi, like with Courtney Hadwin last season...Again, I’m convinced that Shin Lim was NOT supposed to win...He was probably always meant to be the runner-up or something...But because Courtney got such a backlash by the end, he was simply the next one down...But all the better for him, right?

Anyway, we’ll worry about all of that later...For now, we have Judge Cuts to look forward to...I guess stay tuned for a list of predictions...It seems like all of the acts that appeared in the “Best of Auditions” episode are candidates for Golden Buzzers (especially the ones who already have one)! But that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

Right now, my best guess for next week is that Brad Paisley will give it to Sophie Pecora, but we’ll wait for the other acts to be announced and see if there is anyone else who would appeal to him...Or he could just pick something unexpected like the dog act or something; I WAS wrong about the other country singer guest judges in the past...

Until then, I’ll keep you all posted on other candidates as the list continues to be updated...

Edit: Okay, the full line-up has been announced! Naturally, there’s no point in predicting any of the acts that were skimmed or skipped over in the auditions making it; Probably the only one who has even a SLIGHT shot is Jecko, but only because we saw a bit more of his act than the others...

Otherwise, I’ve counted eleven acts that HAVE been properly focused on in the auditions, which means that four of them will be eliminated (or more if they actually DO decide to put through some lesser-knowns...)

I guess I’ll start with the singers: There are three legitimate contenders in the category, who are all legitimate contenders for the game in general, each in different ways...We have Sophie Pecora, the soulful songwriter, Chris Klafford, arguably the best overall singer of the season, and Ndlovu Youth Choir, who could potentially go down as the best choir in the history of the show. I’m feeling pretty confident that all three will advance, and for one of them by means of Paisley’s Golden Buzzer...As predictable as it would be for yet another choir to get a GB, I’d say Ndlovu deserves it the most, though I guess I wouldn’t mind either of the other two (that said, Sophie will REALLY have to up her game to justify it over the high bar that the others have set).

Berywam falls under the “If they don’t make it, I’ll be pissed” category, and I’m feeling pretty confident for Lukas & Falco.

And then we have the ones who are in a slightly tougher position...Let’s start with the acrobats: There are three of them in this show, and they all involve shirtless dudes (that’s important!) One of them is sure to make it! That said, Duo Togni is out since we only concentrated on them in the auditions for a second...So that just leaves Matthew Richardson and the Messoudi Brothers. Simon did tell the former that there needs to be more in the next round, which puts some pressure on him. But at the end of the day, I think it all comes down to which of them puts on the best performance...

The Sentimentalists also have pressure placed on them from the criticism they got from both Howie AND Simon...But since they’re competing against one or two other magic acts, and they’re fairly interesting characters, they’ll probably make it regardless...

The same cannot be said for the Emerald Belles who are probably already on Howie’s chopping block...It could go either way for them...

I WOULD consider Kevin Schwartz to be a contender, but I can’t help but compare this season’s comedians to last year’s...This year’s main comedians to consider are him, Ryan Niemiller, Jackie Fabulous and Kara with a K. I guess it’s debatable whether Kara or Jackie is this year’s Vicki Barbolak, and which one’s Carmen Lynch, but Ryan definitely feels like Samuel J. Comroe...and Kevin...feels like Oliver Graves...Maybe they won’t do it COMPLETELY like last season, but I still wonder...

And finally, we have Andy Rowell, who as I said before is at a serious risk of getting pigeonholed...Maybe he’ll find a way out of it, but I’m not holding my breath...

So with all that said, here’s my most educated guess on who will make it next week:

1: Berywam

2: Chris Klafford

3: Lukas & Falco

4: Matthew Richardson/Messoudi Brothers

5: Ndlovu Youth Choir (Golden Buzzer)

6: Sophie Pecora

7: The Sentimentalists

We’ll see how accurate my guess is...next week!

[seinaet]

Chant Lyrics

From the London National production of Hadestown. These are transcribed by ear so naturally there may be mistakes. Huge thanks to @druid-for-hire for posting the Broadway lyrics, those were a giant help in making these.

WORKERS & FATES

Low, keep your head, keep your head low

Oh, you gotta keep your head low

If you wanna keep your head

Oh, you gotta keep your head low

  Keep your head, keep your head low

Oh, you gotta keep your head low

If you wanna keep your head

Oh, you gotta keep your head

  PERSEPHONE

In the coldest time of year

Why is it so hot down here?

Hotter than a crucible

It ain’t right, and it ain’t natural

  HADES

Lover, you were gone so long

Lover, I was lonesome

So, I built a foundry

In the ground beneath your feet

  Here I fashioned things of steel

Oil drums and automobiles

Then I kept that furnace fed

With the fossils of the dead

Lover when you feel that fire

Think of it as my desire

Think of it as my desire for you

  ORPHEUS

With the trains on the tracks

Grease on the gears

Smoke in the stacks of his factories

Whatever he did

He can never be rid of the doubt

and the dread that his lover would leave

  In the back of his mind

Is an engine that whined

Ringing in the kings' ears

Spinning wheels, grinding gears

‘Til he fell out of tune

And he fell out of time

And the song he once knew

He can no longer hear

  Singin' la, la la la, la la la…

  WORKERS

Oh, you gotta keep your head low

If you wanna keep your head

Oh, you gotta keep your head low

  Keep your head, keep your head low

Oh, you gotta keep your head low

If you wanna keep your head

  EURYDICE

While you're working on your song

There's a storm coming on

Orpheus in all my years

I've never seen a sky like this

  Tell me love

If the song you're working on is gonna

Shelter us

From the wind, the wind, the wind

  EURYDICE (spoken)

Is it finished?

  ORPHEUS (spoken)

Not yet

  EURYDICE (spoken)

Finish it

  PERSEPHONE

In the darkest time of year

Why is it so bright down here?

Brighter than a carnival

It ain’t right, and it ain’t natural

  HADES

Lover, you were gone so long

Lover, I was lonesome

So, I laid a power grid

In the ground on which you stood

  And wasn’t it electrifying

When I made the neon shine

Silver screen, cathode ray

Brighter than the light of day

Lover when you see that glare

Think of it as my despair

Think of it as my despair for you

  ORPHEUS

He fell out of time

Out of rhyme, out of rhythm

He kept the Queen with him

And the winter dragged on

And sometimes he'd come above ground

And he summoned her down

Before summer was meant to be done

  And the coal carts rolled

The oil fields flowed

From the world down below to the one up above

  And that is the reason we're on this road

And the seasons are wrong

And the wind is so strong

That's why times are so hard

It's because of the gods

The gods have forgotten the song of their love

 Singin' la, la la la, la la la…

  WORKERS

Oh, you gotta keep your head low

If you wanna keep your head

Oh, you gotta keep your head low

  Keep your head, keep your head low

Oh, you gotta keep your head low

If you wanna keep your head

  EURYDICE

While he's working on his song

I've never seen the wind so strong

Spinning every weathervane

He said it would never change

  Now I see

That the song he's working on ain't gonna

Harbor me

From the wind, the wind, the wind

  HERMES (spoken)

Eurydice was a hungry young girl

She was no stranger to the wind

But she had not seen nothing

Like the mighty storm she got caught in

  EURYDICE

Shelter us

  HERMES (spoken)

Only took a minute

  EURYDICE

Harbor me

  HERMES (spoken)

But the wrath of the gods was in it!

  PERSEPHONE

Every year it’s getting worse

Hadestown, hell on earth

Did you think I’d be impressed

With this neon necropolis

  Lover what have you become

Coal cars and oil drums

Warehouse walls and factory floors

I don’t know you anymore

  And in the meantime, up above

The harvest dies and people starve

Oceans rise and overflow

It ain’t right, and it ain’t natural

  HADES

Lover, everything I do

I do it for the love of you

If you don’t even want my love

I’ll give it to someone who does

  Someone grateful for her fate

Someone who appreciates

The comforts of a gilded cage

And doesn’t try to fly away

The moment Mother Nature calls

Someone who can love these walls

That hold her close and keep her safe

And think of them as my embrace

  ORPHEUS

Singin' la, la la la, la la la

  EURYDICE

Shelter us

  HADES

Think of them as my embrace

  EURYDICE

Harbor me

  HADES

Think of them as my embrace

Of you

[ambitionsource]

AMBITION Season 1 ♫ “The Miserables” [ 1.09 ]

CREATED BY Esther (rapunzles) & Maggie (quincywillows)

ENTENDEZ-VOUS LES GENS CHANTENT? – Shawn tests his limits as he steps up to lead the production of the spring musical in Angela’s absence. Lingering tension over casting choices bubbles over. Deceptively rosy circumstances prompt students to seek refuge in unlikely places.

62 Minutes (16K words) || No warnings apply.

[ ← These Boots Aren’t Made For Dancing ] [ S1 Synopsis ] [ Birds of a Feather → ]

( Follow along with the music on Spotify here! )

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

The episode opens on FARKLE MINKUS, standing in front of the black box classroom. He’s looking at a poster for the sophomore spring musical – Les Misérables. He glances up in front of him, tossing a look to the camera, before spinning on his heel and beginning a definitive march down the hallway.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Do You Hear the People Sing?” as performed by Les Misérables Original London Cast  || Performed by AAA Sophomores

Farkle kicks off the number, beginning the ode to rebellion as he makes his way through the halls. The opening shot is done in one long, continuous movement, and as other characters join the march and the song, it builds until it’s the full sophomore class parading through the halls and towards the auditorium.

Also as they progress, it seems as though time is shifting around them. Slowly, costume pieces are adorned and changes in the background indicate the passage of time.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Upon the final chorus, the cast of the spring musical marches into the auditorium. They walk through the aisles in full make-up, hair, and costume, coming to a halt in front of the stage. In front of them, the entire set and staging for Les Mis has been erected, and we’re suddenly within days of opening night.

Bathed in the glow of the stage lights, the sophomore class looks up at their backdrop. Some look ready for the adventure, others not so much. ISADORA DE LA CRUZ is in full costume, signaling a shift from behind the scenes to center stage. LUCAS FRIAR has the signature headset around his neck, indicating a promotion for him as well.

This is the final breath before the curtain rises. But how did we get from auditions to here? We’re certainly about to find out, and in six distinct parts…

Cue title sequence.

Before each part of the episode, a black title screen gives us the name of the story, hanging for about five seconds before fading into the opening scene of the segment.

PART I: “Lovely Lady, Come Along and Join Us”

INT. AAA - GIRLS DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Isadora is the spotlight of the premier story, taking us back to the period of auditions. She’s giving herself a pep talk in the mirror, about to audition for her first ever show. She tries to remind herself that it’s low stakes, that she’s gone this long without a role she could certainly carry on, but that doesn’t seem to do much to assuage her nerves.

Still, she’s Isadora De La Cruz, and she’s not one to back down from a challenge. Squaring her shoulders, she gears up to go and audition.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

She emerges from the stage doors, coming into the wings yet still hidden behind the curtain. Lucas is there waiting for her. He gives her a bracing pat on the shoulder and a smirk, nodding her towards the stage. Behind her, as he always is.

Returning the nod, Isadora takes a deep breath. Then, she steps out into the lights.

She can barely see ANGELA MOORE and ERIC MATTHEWS through the brightness. She squints to make them out, jumping a bit when Angela’s voice invites her to introduce herself over the speaker. She clears her throat.

Isadora: I’m Isadora De La Cruz, and I’ll be performing “I Dreamed A Dream.”

Nothing. She’s not sure what she’s expecting, but Angela is merely jotting down notes for reference. Then she lifts her head, signaling for Isadora to begin whenever she’s ready.

Another inhale. She glances over her shoulder one more time, Lucas giving her a thumbs up. Isadora lets her eyes flutter closed, centering herself.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “I Dreamed A Dream” as performed by Les Misérables Original London Cast  || Performed by Isadora De La Cruz

Starting from the first verse, Isadora tentatively begins the Broadway classic. It’s a little more exposure to her potential vocal ability, which seems untapped and ready to be unleashed. Not as polished as the divas, naturally, but raw with talent and a whole lot of repressed emotion.

As the song progresses, the camera begins a slow spin around Isadora as a time lapse begins. Around her space on the stage, we see other students moving in fast motion through their auditions.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

By the time the music swells (“And still I dream he’ll come to me…”), focus shifts to outside the black box. Angela emerges to a crowd of impatient sophomores, eyeing the cast list she is clutching in her hands. She holds up a finger of patience, pinning it to the board and diving out of the way before the masses converge.

Each student approaches and gets a look at their given role, reactions pointed to how they might be spending the episode. ZAY BABINEAUX finds his name across from the role of Jean Valjean, bristling with confidence and acting wholly unsurprised. Farkle shares a similar pride at being cast as Javert, swooping the hair off his forehead and pushing back through the crowd with his chin held high.

CHARLIE GARDNER seems pretty pleased with being cast as heartthrob Marius, receiving excited pats on the back from HALEY FISHER and DARBY WINTERS. For RILEY MATTHEWS, she’s a distinct mix of happy and stunned to have been given the role of Eponine. YINDRA AMINO shrugs and offers a prideful smirk at her casting of Cosette.

NIGEL CHEY accepts enthusiastic jostling from NICK YOGI and DAVE WILLIAMS at snagging the comedic role of Thénardier. MAYA HART looks less enthused by Madame Thénardier, obviously having anticipated something different.

As Isadora approaches the list, most of the crowd has dispersed. She can’t believe her eyes when she sees her name matched with Fantine, one of the most iconic roles in the show. Slowly, a smile creeps onto her face.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Isadora knocks lightly on the door, catching Angela in the midst of packing some of her things. But she greets Isadora cheerfully, welcoming her in so long as she pardons the mess.

She doesn’t bother to ask about the packing, jumping right to her question. She asks if she was given the role of Fantine because of her mother. Not because she’s right for the role or her own talent, but because of her last name. She just wants to know the full reasoning before she initials next to her name and accepts the part.

Angela disputes such a claim, telling her that she was given the role because she gave a great audition. She has talent and earned it fair and square, and she has little doubt that she’ll do an excellent job. Angela encourages her to have half of the confidence in her performing ability as she does in her technical prowess, and she’ll be perfectly fine.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

With this assurance locked down, it’s settled. Isadora nervously initials next to her name, accepting the role and diving headfirst into the world of the performers.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Next class, the class is assembled as SHAWN HUNTER hands out their copies of the script. He gives a miniature speech about how he will be taking over as director in Angela’s temporary absence. The performers express skepticism and worry over this change, asking tons of questions such as where the hell Angela went and also what makes him think he can just step into the role of director.

Farkle pipes up louder than all of them, demanding to know whether or not Angela is going to be there for opening night. Shawn assures them that she fully intends to be present for the performances, and she made sure to wait until the last possible minute to leave so she could help prepare a majority of the materials for the show. If they just band together, the whole process will run smoothly.

So he’s choosing to approach the situation with confidence, and he thinks that they all should too. He states the encouragement with a flourish, handing out the last stack of scripts.

Dave: [ reading off the cover ] “The Miserables?”

Zay: It’s Les Misérables, you uncultured swine. Take a French class.

Too late. From then on out, the techies refer to the show as “The Miserables” the rest of the run.

As the group disperses to begin memorizing lines, Riley eagerly congratulates Isadora on her first official role. She exclaims how exciting it’s going to be to have her on the other side of the curtain. Isadora seems grateful for the enthusiasm, just as Shawn floats over and states that sentiment is precisely what he needs to discuss with her. He asks if he can borrow her for a minute, Riley backing off without complaint.

INT. AAA - DRESSING ROOM HALL - DAY

Shawn pulls Isadora aside, starting by congratulating her on her role. Then he poses his query, wanting her opinion on who he should promote to stage manager now that she’s jumping to the other side of the production.

To Isadora, the answer is obvious – Lucas. There’s no one else she can think of for the job. Shawn questions whether she believes he’s responsible enough to handle it, but Isadora has no doubts. If they put the faith in him, he’ll pay it back. He’s never let her down before.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Even still, Isadora can’t let go of the reins so easily. She shows up early to rehearsal the next afternoon to check on the crew, finding them in their usual spot in the back of the auditorium. They all greet her eagerly as she approaches, happy to see her back in their quarters.

She simply states that she wanted to check in that everything is going smoothly, to which ASHER GARCIA tells her not to worry. DYLAN ORLANDO chimes in, telling her that they’re all super proud of her for shaking things up on the other side. They want her to go forth and slay! They’ll be fine, now go show the performers what she’s made of.

Reassuring, but in some ways even more pressuring than before. Now she’s carrying the expectations of the techies on her back too, and she’s not sure how to feel about it.

INT. AAA - DANCE STUDIO - DAY

It’s even more overwhelming to be thrown into the midst of rehearsals without them. She’s attempting to keep up with the demands, but clearly unfamiliar with how to proceed and surrounded by people that up until a month ago had always been adversaries. So, the moment they have a moment to break from vocal rehearsal, she searches for allies.

She goes to Riley first, but it’s evident that although she’s still incredibly supportive she’s a little spaced out. Clearly, she’s got her own stuff going on and won’t be much help. Isadora turns to Maya next, having had friendly interactions with her in the past and given that she was the one who told her to audition in the first place.

However, Maya is not receptive to such advice-giving. She’s in the midst of her diva meltdown of the season, and frankly isn’t all that fond of Isadora at the moment. She says a few offhand words before floating away, rejoining Chai and Darby at the other end of the studio. Isadora tries not to let the dismissal sting, determined not to show weakness in this new territory.

She glances over her shoulder towards Shawn, who happens to be conferring with Lucas about something stage managing related. But he feels a million miles away, and he’s gone before she can even blink back to the auditorium.

Isadora stands alone in the center of the room, somehow isolated despite being in the midst of all the action.

INT. FOSTER HOME - ISADORA’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

That night, Isadora finds herself contemplating the only other source she can think of to reach out to – Valerie. She sits at her desk and opens and closes her phone a couple of times, obviously indecisive. She begins typing a message in response to all the previous ones she let go unanswered, explaining that she got a role in the school musical but isn’t sure she is cut out for it. She puts it all out there in text form… before hastily deleting it.

Not ready to let down those walls, but still desperately needing guidance. She gets up from her desk and flops onto her bed, exhausted.

EXT. AAA - LUNCH COURTYARD - DAY

Isadora attempts to ask Riley about it at lunch, but it’s evident that Riley is distracted. Whatever is going on in her neck of the woods, it’s obviously occupied her mind so she’s little help. She optimistically encourages her to contact her mother if that’s something she’s been considering, but it’s clear she isn’t giving the situation much serious thought.

When Isadora claims she wants to get a second opinion, Riley eagerly agrees to that as well. So it’s not clear whether she’s actually listening, or if she’s just playing support staff like the good friend she is.

Isadora: And you’re clearly not really listening.

Riley: Totally. Yeah – wait, what?

Isadora: Nothing. Simply thinking about how nice it is to have you around.

Riley: :)

In any case, she wants that second opinion. Time to revert to the safest source of thought she’s ever known – if he can spare a moment to give her the time of day.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Lucas is in the auditorium, standing at the base of the stage and looking up towards the set as Dylan and DAVE WILLIAMS work to set up the backdrop.

Lucas: Okay, let’s see the barricade backdrop.

[ Dylan and Dave frantically lower one of the curtains, pulling down a beautiful sunset of a backdrop with a twinkling castle in the distance and a cotton candy sky. A leftover from their last show, Cinderella. ]

Lucas: [ Waiting until it’s fully down, closing his eyes and forcing a smile. ] Okay, now, I meant the barricade that’s not Cinderella’s castle.

[ Dave and Dylan look up at the backdrop, wincing. Dave immediately begins pulling the ropes to bring it back up. ]

Dylan: Sorry!

Lucas: It’s fine just… [ gesturing indicatively ] Fix it.

Dylan: Aye, aye, captain.

Isadora enters just as Lucas is giving this directive, traipsing down the aisle to join him at the front. He greets her, Isadora asking if he has a second to chat. He nods, glancing back over his shoulder at them fumbling with the backdrop.

Lucas: Depending on how long this takes them, could be forever.

He nods towards the booth, leading the way back up the aisle.

INT. AAA - TECHNICIAN’S BOOTH - DAY

Lucas reenters the booth with Isadora close behind, settling into his usual rolling chair. He props his feet up on the lighting table and pulls a granola bar from a stash in the filing cabinet, lamenting just how many things can go wrong in one day around here. Isadora is like believe me, I know, but states that she kind of misses it.

Lucas teases her about her new role, asking her how it is to be a traitor and infiltrate the other side. She rolls her eyes and can tell he’s just poking fun, but it still stings a bit more than she anticipated. She cuts to the chase, eager to change the subject. She expresses her hesitation about talking to her mother, asking if he thinks she should reach out.

Lucas, who has never liked Valerie for how severely she fucked with Isadora’s emotions, isn’t a fan of the idea. To say the least.

Lucas: Are you kidding? No.

Isadora: No – no. You think no.

Lucas: Absolutely the fuck not. She’s never done a thing for you, what makes you think she’s going to change that tune now?

Isadora: Well… well, I mean it is her area of expertise –

Lucas: See, that’s where you’re wrong. Her area of expertise is being a shit mother, and because of her you need no explanation on how that works. You owe her nothing, and you don’t need to give her an invitation back into your life to fuck you over again. You wanted my opinion, and that’s it.

Isadora isn’t surprised by this stance from her best friend. What she’s surprised by is the fact that she’s disappointed in this response, and that’s more telling than anything else. She’s pulled from the conversation before she can think on it further, or ask about the crew and how everything is going. Shawn calls her down for call time.

Lucas, sarcastically: The spotlight awaits.

INT. FOSTER HOME - BLUE’S ROOM - NIGHT

Isadora passes through the hall when she doubles back, catching a glimpse of her foster sibling BLUE NGUYEN (17). The eldest foster sibling and most level-headed, Isadora figures it may not hurt to ask him for advice. She knocks on the door before stepping in and explaining her hesitation about Valerie, asking him what he would do.

Blue can’t speak much on his own experience with his parents, since the entire reason he’s in this foster home at all is because his parents kicked him out when they learned he is trans and want nothing to do with him pretty decisively. But he says that since Valerie clearly is making an effort, she should take advantage of that and see where it takes them. It may not end up exactly how Isadora envisions it, but at least it’ll be better than not pursuing it and always leaving a lingering what-if.

BEATRIX TORRES (16) interrupts the conversation, exclaiming that she finally found Isadora. Her brother Jericho has been asking for homework help, and she’s always better with that than she is. When she gets caught up on the topic of conversation, she offers her two cents of the fact that her mother literally can’t afford to take care of her and Jericho. Sure, sometimes she resents her for that, but at the end of the day she’s still their mom and she will take any amount of time with her she can get. And when they do spend time together, it’s hard and takes some adjustment to break out of that independence and lingering resentment, but it’s usually worth it afterwards.

She doesn’t know why Valerie gave up Isadora, but it seems to her like it may be a similar kind of vibe. Valerie’s celebrity aside. Isadora takes all of this in, contemplative.

INT. FOSTER HOME - ISADORA’S ROOM - NIGHT

Back in her room for the evening, Isadora makes a choice. Grabbing her phone, she crafts a message Valerie again. Before she can change her mind she hits send, not allowing herself to look at it anymore. She leaves her phone on the desk and out of her reach, climbing into bed.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Rehearsals are ongoing, a rendition of “Master of the House” going onstage. Isadora is in the wings, waiting for her next attempt to rehearse “Lovely Ladies” when her phone vibrates. It’s a response from Valerie, and an enthusiastic one at that. At the end of the message, it asks if they can video chat.

Isadora glances around her, making sure the number is still well in progress. Then, she steps out into the dressing room hall.

INT. AAA - GIRLS DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Isadora checks that no one is around before stepping into the dressing room, settling into her corner of the room. She braces herself before dialing Valerie’s number, impatiently waiting for the video call to go through.

When it finally goes through, VALERIE DE LA CRUZ is looking back at us from the other side. It’s a bit of a fuzzy connection, but she’s just as stunning as ever and clearly enjoying the Los Angeles sunshine wherever she is. She immediately congratulates Isadora on her role, eagerly asking her what she thinks of the show and her rehearsal process so far.

When Isadora mentions some of the nerves she’s been having during rehearsal, Valerie empathizes. She explains that performing is hell, it’s an endurance sport, and she still gets anxiety sometimes before getting out on that stage. But the thrill of performing and the applause and that connection with the audience, that outstrips every frayed nerve by the time she opens her mouth to sing. The joy of singing is so worth it, and she knows Isadora feels it too, otherwise she wouldn’t have bothered to audition in the first place.

Valerie: Everyone says this to me all the time and it never helps, but it’s true so I’ll pass it onto you – you’re extremely talented. You’ve got an incredible voice. There’s nothing to worry about, you’re going to kill it.

Isadora, sheepishly: You’ve never even heard me.

Valerie: I don’t have to. I already know it. You’re Isadora De La Cruz, and you’re going to take the world by storm. I’ve known that since the day you were born.

Valerie claims she has to go back to rehearsal, and she’s sure Isadora does too. But she’s proud of her, and she can’t wait to hear all about it. When Isadora hangs up she’s still nervous, but there’s a bit more confidence instilled in her now. She’s determined.

Unfortunately, this is all put to the test when Maya enters the dressing room. She eyes Isadora putting her phone away, commenting that she must’ve had an important call if she needed to step out of rehearsal. She shrugs off her attempts to defend herself, basically insinuating that Isadora isn’t a serious performer if she won’t even take rehearsals seriously – a stretch, and part of the fool routine Maya has been putting on since the cast list went up.

Isadora doesn’t understand why she’s so pissy, considering she was the one who told her to audition in the first place. What, just because it doesn’t benefit her, she’s not worth the support anymore? Maya tries to brush it off, but Isadora is sharp with pointing out her hypocrisy and isn’t going to just let her diva behavior off the hook. She thought they were past that.

Still, Maya gets the last word. As Isadora heads out to get back to rehearsal, she has one last choice statement to make.

Maya: Don’t blow it, De La Cruz.

A sharp comment, coming from a girl who knows what power it wields. No one has ever called Isadora by her actual surname before, and the implications as to why it’s being used now are clear. Isadora doesn’t respond, gritting her teeth and storming out.

Maya watches her go, chewing her lip. Still, her eyes are blazing. Obviously struggling to deal with the way things are…

PART II: “Everything Has Got A Little Price”

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Maya is wearing that same expression, back in front of the cast list for the first time. Others are still celebrating around her, Zay patting Charlie on the shoulders in the background. She’s bristling, focused on how both the other divas have leading roles… and then she’s a few lines down. Past Isadora, past Riley, relegated to second fiddle.

She doesn’t initial to accept her part, storming off.

INT. AAA - SHAWN’S OFFICE - DAY

Maya launches into a tirade the moment she steps into Shawn’s office, lamenting how she’s being punished. It’s clear that Shawn isn’t surprised she’s there, but he expresses exasperated confusion over her statement as he gets to his feet.

Maya: I mean, tell me, what did I do? Why am I being punished when all I’ve done is encourage others to spread their little wings and soar and try to bridge the divides? You know, sort of. More so than Farkle, at least.

Shawn claims that the decision had very little to do with her, as he and Angela simply attempted to match the best role to each performer who auditioned. Maya scoffs, searching for another route to harpoon instead.

Maya: Then explain this, Hunter. Why did you and Miss Moore think it was a good idea to pick a show with such a limited female cast? As if their class isn’t dominated by talented women? As if men don’t already own enough of the world?

Shawn: You literally wrote Les Mis when we passed around the suggestion box. It was one of your thirteen submissions – all of which you signed.

Maya: It’s unjust is what it is. Just say you hate women, Mister Hunter. Just say you hate me, let’s get it out in the open.

Shawn doesn’t humor her bullshit the way Angela does, calling her out for the diva antics. He reminds her that it is only one show, and there will be plenty of more opportunities for her to hog the spotlight in the future. And even if it were his decision – which it’s not – he wouldn’t change the casting now.

Maya huffs, spinning on her heel and marching out. She nearly runs into Lucas in the doorway, turning some of her venom on him.

Maya: Are your two left boots incapable of walking too? Get out of my way, gothic Butch Cassidy.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Zay and Charlie are humoring Maya’s tantrum as she’s getting costumed by JADE BEAMON, continually pausing her ranting to curse as Jade sticks her with a pin. Considering Jade is their best costumer, it’s likely the pin sticking isn’t all that unintentional despite how emphatically she apologizes each time. Although, all of the gesticulating Maya is doing could be a factor.

Zay shakes his head, pointing out that this is exactly why no one likes her or Farkle. Because they so easily caught up in shit like this, so their friendship is thin. It means nothing. Maya is miffed by the insinuation, defending her attitude on the basis that she’s simply not getting her fair share – i.e., the tried and true argument of every theater kid once upon a time.

Charlie offers a more positive spin by stating that she’s just paying her dues as every showman must. Maya refutes this, impassioned.

Maya: I’m going to make it. I’m going to be the one who emerges from this school after fighting tooth and nail to stay on top, and then I’ll never look back. But I need to build credit while I’m here, and being stuck in smaller roles isn’t going to accomplish that.

Charlie argues that Mme Thénardier is actually a pretty fun role that most people would love to have, but Maya is beyond reason. She continues her rant, claiming that one day she’s going to make it and none of this is going to matter, but right now, she has to go perform this stupid musical. Zay, Charlie, and Jade watch her as she storms out, exchanging looks of amusement.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Master of the House” as performed by Les Misérables Original London Cast  || Performed by Nigel Chey & Maya Hart (feat. AAA Sophomores)

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The stage getting closer to a finished set, the sophomores take their places for a truncated rendition of this rowdy and fun ensemble number. NIGEL CHEY does an excellent job with his role, really giving the performance a spark of energy.

As the performers run through it, they poke fun at the techies working on the set and attempt to pull them into the dancing. They’re particularly goofy with Lucas, who stumbles around in his struggle to avoid them and actually get work done. By the time the song comes to an end, he’s retreated to the wings in a huff, Riley waiting there and giggling at him as he fixes his clothes and adjusts his headset.

When Maya’s solo comes along, she delivers the lyrics with convincing levels of exasperation. She’s going through the motions, channeling her frustration with the casting into the role. All in all, despite her behavior, it’s an enjoyable production.

INT. CHUBBIE’S DINER - NIGHT

On the table of the booth in the back corner, Maya has spread out a flurry of flyers and pamphlets. It’s a series of programs and auditions she can put herself up for, searching for new avenues to bolster her credentials before she goes out there into the real world. In particular, a pamphlet for the coveted Kossal Summer Program seems to be in the forefront of her mind – the same summer program that Farkle mentioned in the pilot.

KATY HART interrupts her laser focus, wandering over and bringing a slice of pie with her. She places the plate down in front of her daughter before sliding into the booth across from her, asking her what she’s working on so diligently. After Maya plaintively explains her dire straits and desire to find more ways to hone her craft, Katy takes the chance to share a surprise. She was able to get opening night off of work, so she’ll be able to come see her perform!

Maya is happy, but not nearly as enthused as she could be. When Katy comments on this, Maya beats around the bush before admitting that she doesn’t know if it’s worth it considering she hardly has a part worth blowing off work for. Katy claims that she could be playing a tree and it would still be worth it to her, to which Maya states all the trees are barricade wood at this point.

Katy questions why she’s so stuck on the size of the part, pulling out the age old adage that there are no small parts, only small actors. Maya rolls her eyes at this, before going into her thought process about how she doesn’t want to take one misstep and somehow mess up her shot. She’s terrified of this becoming a pattern, of somehow becoming constantly overlooked.

Maya: I mean, look at you. You’re the most talented person I know, and no one ever even gave you a chance. You had it all, and you still had to give it up because no one would give you the time of day. How am I supposed to keep that from happening to me if techies and forgettable sopranos are getting leads over me?

Katy refutes this fear, stating that she and Maya are on very different paths. She set out to make sure Maya got to make her own path, after all. She shouldn’t stomp all over the good things that this experience might be bringing because she’s terrified of how the future might treat her. Another golden lesson from mother of the year Katy Hart…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Farkle is hanging out on the barricade set, now nearly fully constructed. He’s half in costume, balancing his police hat on his knee and focused on a text conversation with his mother. Jennifer’s texts express the opposite sentiment to Katy – they’re doing their best to clear their schedules for opening night, but this that and the other might cause a conflict.

She follows up by stating they’ll work it out, and they will see him perform one way or another. He doesn’t look particularly convinced.

He’s pulled out of the moment when the stage door slams open, Riley barreling out of the dressing room hall. She’s obviously miffed, cheeks flushed and on the warpath. Riles Scrappy Matthews came to play!

Farkle: What’s got your feathers all ruffled?

Riley: Don’t push me. You got something to say?

Farkle: … No, ma’am.

Riley: Smart. Guess you are a genius.

Riley stomps off, leaving Farkle totally confused. He glances towards the dressing rooms where she came from. Wondering who she might have murdered, he hops off the set piece.

INT. AAA - GIRLS DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Farkle inches his way into the dressing room, dreading seeing something he shouldn’t in return for his bold choice to enter the girls territory. Lucky for him, there’s no one there but Maya.

She’s standing at her station in front of the mirror, holding a tissue to her mouth and clearly just wrapping up a brief crying spree. She spots Farkle behind her through the mirror, jumping slightly and frantically wiping at her eyes. She tells him he can’t be in there, to which he simply responds tit for tat, given that she walks into the boys dressing room to bother him all the time.

When he tentatively attempts to figure out why she’s being so… emotional, she lashes out at him much like she’s been all through the rehearsal process. He raises his hands in surrender, telling her that she’s gotta chill.

Maya: Oh, that’s rich, coming from you.

Farkle: Believe me, bitch, I know. Why do you think I’m telling you it with such certainty? Been there. Often.

He reaches into the pocket of his pants, retrieving a handkerchief. He hands it to her, which she reluctantly takes. Farkle goes on to explain that he just got friends – including her – and the only reason is because he started trying to control the diva instincts and consider how that impacts other people. It’s that kind of behavior that makes allies difficult to keep.

Maya has always had the upper hand between the two of them, and it’s because she’s slightly more palatable in that regard. He advises her not to give up that advantage now by blowing it all on a stupid musical which they’ll have many more of before their time here is done.

After a moment, Maya relents and admits that they are probably more similar than she ever wanted to believe. Farkle gives her one more statement of camaraderie.

Farkle: I understand the notion of knowing what you’re destined to do and being willing to do whatever it takes. Trust me, I feel that in my bones. It’s not an attractive quality, but it’s what is going to put us one tier above the rest.

[ Maya dabs her eyes with the handkerchief. Farkle waits for her to meet his eyes. ]

Farkle: But first, we have to pay our dues. Whether it be as the town crier in Cinderella or the scheming, sultry wife to one of the most notorious tricks in the fabled history of the French revolution.

With that, he leaves her to pull herself back together. Maya hangs onto his handkerchief, glancing up at herself in the mirror. Not necessarily liking what she sees. Boy, if she doesn’t have damage control to do now…

PART III: “A Little Fall of Rain”

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

We’re back in front of the cast list, Riley now the one standing in front of it. She stares at her name across from Eponine in awe, unable to believe it’s accurate. But Yindra’s enthusiastic grip on her arm confirms it – it must be true. She’s playing perhaps one of the best roles, with one of the most iconic female solos of all time.

That’s a lot to take in all at once. And she needs one more bout of reassurance, just to be sure there wasn’t a mistake.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

This is how she ends up in Angela’s classroom, following the same route as Isadora in questioning whether the role was given correctly. Considering performers like Maya do exist in their class, she just wants to be absolutely certain. She was expecting something a little more soft-spoken, like Cosette. Or a chorus member. She doesn’t want to let anyone down.

Angela claims there was no mistake, and the casting was quite intentional. She thinks she’ll make an excellent Eponine. When Riley expresses apprehension, Angela sits her down and goes into more depth on the choice. As she explains it, Eponine is a tragic character, but she’s not a victim – she suffers and struggles but continues to crawl onward regardless. She makes bold choices, but also bottles up her emotions to benefit others. She puts aside her own wants to service the happiness of others, even at her own expense.

It takes a great actress to capture that complexity, and she’s sure Riley can pull it off. Considering it sort of feels like she just described her life story, Riley seems a little less uncertain than before.

As Riley heads out to go initial and accept the role, she hangs back and asks the question as to why Angela is taking an extended absence anyway. Seeing as she’s the performing student the least likely to blow an emotional gasket, Angela decides she can share the truth with her. She tells her about the auditions she is going out for which will keep her out during afternoon rehearsals, and how the conflicts just grow more pressing during dress rehearsal week. But she trusts Shawn. She’s sure it’ll be fine.

When Riley double checks that she’ll be there for opening night, Angela assures her there’s no doubt about it. Taking her at her word, Riley accepts this, wishing Angela luck. If anyone at AAA deserves to pursue their dreams, it may as well be the teacher helping them all foster theirs.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - NIGHT

Things at the Matthews apartment are… disarmingly comfortable. With the divorce paperwork in development, it seems that TOPANGA LAWRENCE and CORY MATTHEWS have managed to reach some semblance of normalcy again. No longer feeling trapped, perhaps it’s easier to maintain a cordial attitude.

In fact, in some ways it’s more than that. Weirdly enough, they seem back to the way that Riley always knew them. At ease, cracking jokes, poking fun at each other in a way that isn’t laced with harsh truth. Dinner feels normal, for once.

When Riley mentions that she got the role of Eponine in the musical, the whole family offers their congratulations. AUGGIE MATTHEWS offers her a high-five, which she takes. Topanga states that she’s proud of her, and commends her for putting herself out there. She then launches into all the steps Riley should take to prepare for the role, never one to pass up on giving guidance…

Still, Riley doesn’t mind. It’s nice to eat dinner without feeling as though the house is going to crumble on top of you at any moment. She smiles as Topanga rattles on, taking a bite of her meal and sharing a smile with her brother.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Riley is running around backstage after “Master of the House” wraps a run through, getting ready for the next number. She dodges a shoulder bump from Maya, glancing over her shoulder at her before getting distracted by Charlie. He pulls her into places with him backstage, the two of them gearing up for their next scene.

Charlie makes a couple of cracks about how it’s only fitting that they would end up playing complicated love interests. Riley fires back that if that’s the case, the roles should be reversed considering she was never the one carrying around unrequited love… but the banter is more natural and relaxed than it’s ever been between them. Both of them finally on the same page, it seems, and knowing it’s all in jest.

Riley comments that he and Zay seem to have become pretty good friends, which seems to shock Charlie at first. He asks why she would say that, and when she gives a list of very reasonable and normal observations, he relaxes. He agrees to the sentiment, stating that Zay is amazing and it’s nice to have another friend who appreciates dance and all that jazz. Riley states that it’s nice to see Zay having another friend who appreciates him for how great he is.

Charlie seconds the notion, before holding out his hand. Prepared to run on stage with her as the best-friends-yet-not-quite-lovers their roles demand. Riley returns his smile and then takes it, jumping into character as the two of them emerge from behind the set and into the lights.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - NIGHT

Riley is helping Topanga cook dinner, the two of them actually enjoying a pleasant conversation for the first time in months. Truly, the lack of tension between her parents is more of a blessing than she ever realized.

As the topic of discussion drifts to the musical, Topanga starts giving her unsolicited tips on how she improve her performance again. Despite having never been a performer herself, giving counsel is how she shows love, so that’s what she’s going to give.

When Riley claims she’s mostly going to rely on channeling emotion from the heart and empathize with the character, Topanga sort of laughs the notion down. She claims that you can’t rely on false or fictionalized foundations to give a good performance, there has to be some truth to it, doesn’t there? Don’t be silly, Riley.

Riley starts to defend herself, but Topanga has already moved onto the next ream of advice. It’s clear that when it comes to her mother, Riley definitely has trouble standing her ground.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

At rehearsal, Riley is finishing up a rehearsal of “On My Own.” Given the contradictory counsel from her mother, she’s lost in her head and the performance is weaker than it could be.

Shawn attempts to give her feedback, but he’s not as skilled a director as Angela and struggles to find the right way to phrase it. Maya jumps in with a backhanded comment of her own.

Shawn: There’s just something about it that’s not right. It needs more… you just need a little bit… I think that if you –

Riley: … so I should… ?

Shawn: … Try harder?

Maya: Sometimes it’s just about matching the right performer to the role.

Riley tries to ignore the insinuation, insisting to Shawn that she’ll try harder next time. He gives her a thumbs up, hoping that whatever that means it’ll be what the production needs. Then he shoots Maya a look, discouraging the negative commentary.

As she spins away from them, Riley lets the frustration and hurt hit her for a moment. Then she bottles it back up, marching offstage.

As she makes her way through the backstage where the techies are hard at work, she runs into Lucas as he’s in the process of helping Nate and Dave get a set piece finalized. It’s clear he’s in full manager mode, balancing a million and one things on his plate and only half-listening to what she’s saying.

They get through half a conversation about how the stage managing is going before he even looks at her, zeroing in on the fact that part of her costume is messed up. He comments on it, and before Riley can even question it he reaches forward and begins fixing it. She totally loses her train of thought as he undoes the belt around her waist and and adjusts it correctly, wholly focused on the show aspects and not even thinking about other possible implications of such a gesture. He offhandedly asks her how her rehearsal process is going, to which she sort of stammers out half a response.

Then he’s done, already jogging off to fix the next thing. Riley stands there, dumbstruck and a little out of breath. She spins around, trying to remember what she was even supposed to be doing in the first place.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - NIGHT

Riley is helping Auggie with homework, half paying attention and half reading through her script again. It’s dog-eared and got a dozen colorful tabs stuck in it, so it’s evident she’s gone over it multiple times.

Auggie manages to regain her full attention when he pops the question of whether she thinks Cory and Topanga are calling off the divorce. This catches Riley completely off-guard, prompting her to ask him what he’s talking about. He goes on to point out that they’ve been getting along great lately, and they haven’t argued in weeks. Doesn’t that mean things are going back to normal? Couldn’t that mean it’s all going to be okay?

This stuff is hard enough to grasp as a teenager – it’s clear it makes no sense to a nine-year-old and he’s desperately trying to make sense of it. Riley looks at her brother, suddenly overwhelmed and clueless with how to handle the situation. She can’t look at him and break his heart, but she doesn’t want to build false hope and lie either. So she escapes instead.

Riley: I… I need some air. I’m going for a walk.

Auggie: But dinner is in twenty minutes.

Riley: [ already out the door ] I’ll… yeah. I just need some air.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

The moment Riley shuts the door behind her, she begins frantically making her way down the hall. Then she realizes she has no idea where she’s going, pacing and trying to figure out where she wants to go. Anywhere but here, that’s for sure.

She pulls out her phone, scrolling through her contacts before hesitating. She only waits a second before dialing, raising the phone to her ear and waiting impatiently.

Riley: [ into the phone ] Hey, are you busy? I… I just need a second –

INT. AAA - TECHNICIAN’S BOOTH - NIGHT

Lucas saunters back into the space, holding the door open for Riley to follow him inside. She steps back in with mild trepidation, obviously not sure she would ever be back here after 1.08.

As he settles into his usual chair, Lucas gestures for Riley to take the other seat he’s not planning to occupy. She does so, hesitantly, although her comfort will grow over the duration of the scene. Glancing out the window towards the stage, it’s odd but not unwelcome to see it darkened and empty. A moment of peace in a setting usually flooded with chaos.

Lucas occupies the space with deep familiarity, reaching in his file cabinet drawer. He tosses Riley a snack with a quick “think fast,” which she just barely manages to catch in time. He pulls one for himself as well, getting comfortable and pulling his manager binder back onto his lap to continue taking notes.

Riley: So… this is really it, huh? You really just hang out in here like this all the time.

Lucas: Well, you’re here too, aren’t you? You’re the one who asked to come here.

Riley: … touché.

Another stretch of silence. Riley watches him work for a second, before broaching the topic of how stage managing is going. Lucas laughs rather than answering the question, to which Riley expresses indignation. Is it so horrible of her to ask how things are going?

Lucas: Am I really supposed to believe you just dropped by here because you were dying to hang out in this musty booth with yours truly?

Riley: Well it… it’s not without its charms.

Lucas raises his eyebrows at her. Not buying it. Sensing that he’s going to see right through any excuse she makes up, Riley relents and slowly opens up about how being at home got so overwhelming. It starts with the moment with Auggie, before snowballing into a full ramble about her parents, and the whole mess of a situation, and how she just feels so trapped.

He just lets her vent, listening attentively but not commenting. When she runs out of steam, she takes a moment to collect herself before apologizing for rambling. She tends to do that. He tells her that it’s fine, before asking her what exactly she wants to hear from him. What does she want him to say? She isn’t sure, so Lucas warns her he’s just going to say exactly what he’s thinking.

First, he gives her something resembling advice and states plainly that she should seriously learn to stand up for herself. Like, yeah, keeping the peace is admirable, but it’s not her job and it’s not worth getting crushed over. Literally or metaphorically.

Riley: Well, of course you wouldn’t think so. Mister Techie Revolution.

Lucas raises his hands in surrender, taking this criticism and acknowledging it’s truth. Then he switches gears, saying what she actually needed to hear – that the situation sucks. It sucks, and he’s sorry that she has to deal with it. He has a sense of how it feels when your house doesn’t feel like a home, so he’s genuinely sympathetic.

The simple act of validation is more than enough. Already a little better than before, Riley nods along before offering him a grateful smile.

Out of things to say, Lucas claims he really does have to get back to work. Being a stage manager is a hell of a lot of work, believe it or not. Riley asks if she can hang around still – she promises to be quiet – and he allows it if she really wants to waste her evening doing nothing.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “On My Own” as performed by Les Misérables Original London Cast  || Performed by Riley Matthews

Lucas goes back to his binder, Riley settling into the quiet. She tries to shift her gaze elsewhere, but it inevitably ends up drifting back to him.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Riley performs a full rehearsal of the powerhouse anthem to unrequited love, delivering it with much more emotion and passion than her first few attempts. It’s clear she’s tapped into the headspace she needed, and she’s singing from the heart rather than getting lost in her mind. Wonder where that new emotion could possibly be stemming from…

Once she finishes the number, Shawn applauds her for an obviously improved performance. She breaks into a breathless grin.

INT. AAA - GIRLS DRESSING ROOM - DAY

As Riley floats in to grab her things for her costume change, she runs into Maya again. She has another snide comment to make, only this time Riley isn’t taking it. She’s got the adrenaline of a great performance in her veins and the advice of Lucas rattling around in her brain, and it pushes her to be bold and stand up for herself.

Riley, fiercely: Stop talking to me like that.

Maya is surprised that she’s firing back. Riley essentially pops off on Maya for the way she and the rest of the performers have treated her since she arrived at AAA, particularly the way they hand out and withhold friendship like it’s a bartering tool rather than a basic human decency with any actual meaning.

Riley: I’m sorry if you feel like you’re losing control. I’m sorry if you feel threatened, believe me, I’m quite familiar with both. But I’m not a dartboard, and I’m done taking your jabs whenever you need something to take your aggression out on. Either change your behavior – which is what I would recommend – or find someone else to play punching bag. I’m done with it!

Maya is stunned, out of words to respond. Riley grabs her costume change, bundling it in her arms and storming out of the room. On her way to pass Farkle…

PART IV: “Sweet Jesus, Hear My Prayer”

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

We’re back with Charlie in the moment he discovers he’s been granted the role of Marius, and the look of excitement on his face is genuine. He didn’t get a large role last year aside from dance captain, so he’s ready for the chance to really take center stage.

His enthusiasm only grows when Zay gives him a congratulatory hug. He returns it, patting him on the back and letting the hug linger. When they pull apart, the two of them eagerly discuss what they’re going to do for their first out-of-school hangout together. As they head back into the auditorium, they have a somewhat odd but endearing exchange about the whole thing when Charlie asks what exactly they should do.

Zay: I don’t know, stuff friends do? It’s not that deep, from what I understand.

Charlie: No, yeah, for sure. I just – I’ve only ever really hung out with Haley and Clarissa, and Yogi one time. That was weird. Oh, and friends from church. Somehow, I don’t think any of those prior experiences would be interesting to you.

Zay: God, literally, who are you. Look, I’ll just pick something and it’ll be a big surprise for you because clearly you’re not yet ready for that much Fun Responsibility.

Zay gives him a bracing pat on the shoulder, leaving him in the wings to head to the audience. Charlie watches him go, unable to hold back his grin.

INT. GARDNER HOME - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

That evening, Charlie has dinner with his family in their rather regal and well-organized dining room. While they’re rather proper and polished, it’s evident that there is genuine love between all members of the Gardner clan while they converse and share a meal. ELEANOR GARDNER (50s) guides the conversation, certainly the matriarch of the family.

Across the way from Charlie, AMBROSE GARDNER (50s) quietly enjoys his dinner and smiles along as his daughters ramble on about their days. Soft-spoken and genial, Ambrose is a gentle and loving father and it’s clear that Charlie deeply values their relationship. As his only son, it goes without saying that the feeling is mutual.

After his younger sisters, ROSAMUND GARDNER (13) and DAISY GARDNER (11) finish arguing about something inane – which Ambrose exchanges a goofy look with him over – Charlie pipes up and explains that he got the role of Marius in the school production of Les Mis.

The family congratulates him, Eleanor more than elated. She claims she’s going to brag all about it at mass on Sunday, and Ambrose notes they’ll have to let their eldest sister Agatha know so that she and her fiance John can come down from upstate to see opening night.

Charlie hesitantly questions whether or not they think Bridgette will come, and the room immediately takes on a new tension. Rosamund and Daisy exchange a look, obviously curious what their parents are going to say. Eleanor and Ambrose sort of seize up, having a tacit exchange of their own before opting to avoid the question. It’s clear this subject is a sore and tricky one in the Gardner household.

Rosamund: Why would Bridgette come home for yet another one of your musicals when she hasn’t been back since she left for college last year?

Eleanor: You know what, I think it’s time for dessert. I’m going to go grab the leftover pies from the book club – Ambrose, ice cream on yours? Girls?

Charlie allows the conversation to shift, but it’s clear he’s not satisfied with how his question went unanswered. Something about it is haunting him, not able to let it go.

INT. DINER - DAY

Charlie meets up with Zay for their first bros being bros outing, hitting up a diner in Queens where Zay lives. It’s not like Chubbie’s, which is always populated with kids from school, so it allows for the hangout to be a bit more secluded and relaxed.

Mostly, Charlie is excited to be in a different part of town and doing something totally out of his ordinary routine. He’s all smiles and enthusiasm as he digs into his diner grub, continually looking out the window at the world of Queens passing them by. Zay is amused by how dazzled he is by seemingly inane things.

Zay: Glad we got a window seat, then.

Charlie: This is so lit. Also these fries are bomb. It’s a good thing I don’t live here, or I’d never be able to be a dancer.

Zay: Yeah, I can tell. You’re like a vacuum cleaner over there.

Charlie: I’d give up my career for these fries. I’m gonna marry these fries and move to a villa out in the countryside to live out the rest of our days in blissful matrimony.

The waitress comes in to check on them, sharing a friendly and familiar rapport with Zay. He also suggests that she may want to bring an extra plate of fries out, as his meal companion is going to need some to go. As she saunters off, Charlie smiles at him. Obviously charmed.

A song comes on over the sound system that both of them, the two of them getting into a lively discussion about the artist. Zay is evidently thrilled to have the conversation, serving how much he can brighten when he has a friend who shares his interests but isn’t, well, insane.

Charlie notes how they’re making a jukebox movie musical featuring their music, and it’s coming out around the same time as opening night. In fact, he’s pretty certain it’s the same night. He pulls out his phone to search and confirm. Zay suggests that, provided Les Mis doesn’t kill them prematurely, they should go together after opening night. They know it’s going to be awful, so they can go and totally critique the shit out of it. Charlie, feeling comfortable in this new space and good about this new dynamic, says it’s a deal. They even shake on it.

INT. GARDNER HOME - CHARLIE’S ROOM - NIGHT

Back from his hangout, Charlie goes and makes an addendum to his well-used and obsessively organized wall calendar. He makes a note underneath the date for opening night, adding his outing with Zay. He’s clearly excited about it.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Rehearsals for the musical progress in a time lapse, progressing in a similar fashion to the way they did throughout the course of the previous stories. The costumes and lighting begin to take shape, the set rising behind the actors as the techies work their way through building it.

EXT. NEW YORK CITY - DAY

While time lapses in the auditorium, Charlie and Zay also continue to build their friendship outside the walls of AAA. They try different food stops, check out some art exhibitions, do all the things that “friends do,” as Zay so eloquently put it. They also start texting a lot more.

Through all of these interactions, Charlie truly comes alive. He’s more uninhibited and genuinely happy than he’s been all season, showing off smiles that would truly earn the “nicest smile” moniker he earned from last year’s yearbook.

INT. CHARLIE’S CHURCH - DAY

The Gardners are attending Sunday mass, chatting with other churchgoers after the main congregation. It’s evident that this is a solid and tight-knit community for Charlie and his family, and he feels relatively comfortable in their midst. Still, he’s a teenager, and the chatting of older community members can only hold his attention for so long.

He zones out, checking his phone when a text from Zay comes through. He smiles upon reading it, starting to type out a reply when his father sidles up next to him and asks what he’s got that goofy grin going for. Charlie panics, stuffing his phone in his pocket and searching for an excuse.

Charlie: No I was just – I was reading an article. Funny. A funny article.

Ambrose thinks nothing of the moment, commenting that Eleanor is bragging about him and his role in the musical again. The two of them exchange a knowing look, Charlie smiling and claiming he should probably making an appearance then. Ambrose winks, nodding him along.

Charlie weaves his way through the crowd, accepting greetings from acquaintances as he goes. When he finally joins his mother, she’s holding court with three or four other women in their 50s or older. They all evidently adore him, gushing over how talented he is and how darn cute he seems to get every time they see him. How could he possibly get cuter? Doesn’t seem possible! Naturally, this somehow seems to drift into the subject of his current single status.

Danielle: I cannot believe you don’t have a girlfriend. Sweet and good-looking boy like you, it’s a miracle you haven’t been snatched up.

Trina: Mm hm. If you were our age, when we were growing up? You would’ve been off the market in minutes.

Danielle: Seconds!

Maitland: You know, if you’re at all interested, you should definitely let me introduce you to my daughter. She never comes to mass because her violin lessons are at the same time –

Danielle: Please, he doesn’t want a sinner for a girlfriend if she can’t even attend mass properly. You should meet my granddaughter. Now there’s a match made in heaven, I’m telling you.

Eleanor, playfully: Ladies, he’s my son, not a piece of meat!

Charlie: Truly, I’m honored. But I’m sure your daughter and granddaughter have plans of their own for their romantic endeavors.

Still, the issue continues to be pushed. A couple of them ask Charlie why he hasn’t found a girlfriend yet, to which he doesn’t have an answer. He’s never even really asked himself that question, only now that it’s in his face he’s certain he should have an answer.

Danielle: Oh, don’t you just remember it? The way you feel when you’re with your first steady. All the butterflies, and the way your palms sweat. Oh, when you meet the one, you sure just know.

Charlie laughs awkwardly, claiming that when he gets that feeling with a girl he’ll be sure to follow through on it with them in mind. They all titter along with him. Oh, charming, cheeky Charlie Gardner! Ha ha ha.

EXT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT

Zay and Charlie are in line for the movies, comfortably discussing the other posters on display. Zay points out the promotional poster for the dance movie, reminding him of their plans to see it in just a few weeks. Charlie assures him he didn’t forget, and jokingly places a bet on whether this film will be better or worse than that one is guaranteed to be.

Charlie zones out as Zay continues the conversation, getting fixated on him as he speaks. Like, he’s paying attention to him, yet he doesn’t actually know anything Zay just said. It’s a weird moment, and Charlie has to shake it off before they head into the theater.

INT. MOVIE THEATER - SCREENING ROOM - NIGHT

Based on Zay’s bemused expression as the film unfolds in front of them, it’s clearly just as bad if not worse than the dance film is supposedly going to be. But for whatever reason, Charlie is still distracted. He keeps glancing at Zay’s reactions to the film rather than the film itself, and he’s suddenly oddly restless.

He starts to hit on every little thing that Danielle mentioned. He’s got butterflies, and he keeps wiping his palms on the knee of his jeans. He can’t seem to move on from the fact that their elbows are touching on the arm rest.

Zay leans over to whisper something to him about the movie, and this totally catches Charlie off-guard. His stomach flips, and whoa, Zay’s face is so close to his. He glances at him, then down at his lips. And the moment he realizes he did, he jumps up from his seat.

Zay: Dude, are you okay?

Charlie: I – I think I’m gonna be sick.

Charlie darts out of the row, taking the steps two at a time and disappearing. Zay gets up and starts to go after him, before a movie-goer snaps at him and tells him to get out of the way.

Zay: It’s a bad movie. What are you missing? I’m doing you a favor.

INT. MOVIE THEATER - BATHROOM - NIGHT

Charlie bursts into the restroom, sliding to the furthest stall and locking himself inside. He paces the small confines of the stall and tries to calm his breathing, and there’s a moment where he really does think he might throw up. He drops to his knees, but the nausea passes, leaving a cold sweat in its place.

Charlie collapses back against the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest. He looks at his hands, which are clammy and trembling slightly. He’s never felt like this before, and it’s clear he’s not a fan of it. Although, it was all spurred by other feelings he’d never felt before…

INT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT

When Charlie emerges, Zay is leaning against the wall outside and patiently waiting for him. He straightens up the moment he sees him, concern alight in his features as he asks if he’s okay. Charlie examines him, trying to get his brain to work properly again.

Charlie: I think… I think I just need to go home.

Zay: Okay. Okay, yeah, of course. Well, let me walk you –

Charlie: No I’ll just – I’m just gonna call an Uber. Thanks though.

Zay seems like he wants to argue, still worried. But he relents, claiming he’ll see him at school tomorrow anyway. Charlie returns the sentiment in a daze, already making a beeline for the exit.

INT. GARDNER HOME - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Charlie is seated at the counter, already in his pajamas and listlessly munching on toast. He’s sipping cola in an effort to settle his stomach. Ambrose enters searching for a late night snack, taking in the scene with a hint of amusement.

Ambrose: Wow, cola. For the dancer? You must really not be feeling well.

Charlie: You have no idea.

Ambrose expresses sympathy that Charlie had to leave his hangout with his friend early. When he settles into making a snack across the counter, Charlie ventures the question of whether his father knew he had feelings for his mother right away. Did he know in an instant, or did it take some time for him to come around in recognizing his feelings?

Ambrose claims he always had a tenacity towards the girls as he got older in high school.

Ambrose: I mean, it was Catholic school – you’ve seen those uniforms, right?

Charlie: Ha ha. Yeah. Totally.

That remark aside, Ambrose states that he didn’t really know how major those feelings could be until he actively started pursuing them. Like, it took having his first kiss and beginning to explore that side of things that he really started to recognize them more adeptly.

Charlie internalizes this, figuring maybe that’s the solution. He simply hasn’t been trying hard enough. If he wants to like girls the way everyone else seems to expect him to, maybe he just needs to be actively pursuing them. Then he’ll feel it, and it’ll work itself out.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “A Heart Full Of Love” as performed by Les Misérables Original London Cast  || Performed by Charlie Gardner (feat. Yindra Amino & Riley Matthews)

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Lucky for Charlie, he has a kiss essentially scripted into his future for him. He and Yindra have yet to practice their kiss after “A Heart Full of Love,” so it’s the perfect excuse to put this whole thing to rest. So as the number unfolds at their dress rehearsal, never having been discussed beforehand, Charlie ends the number by taking Yindra’s face in his hands and kissing her.

From the outsider perspective, it appears very impassioned. Yindra is obviously surprised, and Riley’s jaw sort of drops from her spot on the stage, totally disrupting the flow of the number. In the wings, the rest of the class reacts accordingly. The girls are shocked, and a few disappointed.

Lucas makes a face, as does Zay next to him. He was definitely getting some vibes… but then, maybe he read the whole situation wrong. It’s unclear how exactly he feels about that.

When they break apart, it’s evident that the surprise lip lock has thrown the whole dress rehearsal into disarray. No one is really sure what to do next, so much to the point that Shawn prompts them to move onto the next scene. It’s a dress rehearsal, they can’t stop people! Lucas motivates everyone to get going, starting the next set change.

Lucas: Have you all never seen a kiss before? What are you, third graders?

Nigel, in passing: Like you’ve ever kissed anybody.

Lucas: Hey. Hey! Shut the hell up.

INT. AAA - BOYS DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Farkle and Zay are already in the dressing room when Charlie enters, somewhat dazed from his kissing expedition. They commend him on making such a bold choice, opting to just get it out of the way rather than make a big deal about it. And it sure uh, looked believable. Zay is called out for the next scene, brushing by Charlie as he goes.

But as continued conversation with Farkle reveals, Charlie is a good actor. Because it was not nearly as passionate as it seemed. Charlie states that he didn’t feel anything, clearly dejected by this admission. Farkle isn’t sure what the major drama is, but he tries to put a positive spin on it for him.

Farkle: Hey, man. I mean, it’s okay. You’re not supposed to actually feel things for your co-stars. That’s what bad actors do.

Charlie: Ha, yeah. No, yeah, totally. You’re right.

Still, Charlie isn’t satisfied. Farkle is called onto stage as well, leaving him alone to ruminate.

INT. GARDNER HOME - CHARLIE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Charlie crosses off another day on his calendar, leaving only one left before opening night. As he goes and climbs into bed, Eleanor appears in the doorway to wish him goodnight. She tells him how excited the whole family is for tomorrow, and that Agatha will be able to make it along with her husband. Isn’t that just lovely?

It’s nice news, but Charlie can’t concentrate. He abruptly changes the subject, blankly asking her why they don’t speak to Bridgette anymore. She’s been gone less than year, and it’s like she’s been gone forever. Just totally scrubbed out of the family tree.

Eleanor can tell this subject isn’t going to be dropped easily. She sighs, cracking the door behind her and coming to join Charlie on the edge of the bed. She treads the topic cautiously, starting off with the statement that Bridgette was always the more stubborn of the five of them. As it stands right now, she’s made… choices while away that she knows they don’t agree with. She’s made these choices of her own free will, and it’s difficult to try and level with her when she’s in a place of such sin in her life right now. It’s trying, but that’s the way it is.

Eleanor emphasizes that they still love her, and she’s still family. But choices have consequences, and right now, she’s choosing to live with those. Unsurprisingly, this does not make Charlie feel better at all. As he settles into bed and his mother bids him goodnight, it seems as though he’s going to be getting very little sleep the night before opening…

PART V: “Sweet Jesus Doesn’t Care”

INT. AAA - SHAWN’S OFFICE - DAY

As Maya is storming out, Lucas is making his way into Shawn’s office. They bump into one another, once again prompting Maya’s harsh rhetoric.

Maya: Are your two left boots incapable of walking too? Get out of my way, gothic Butch Cassidy.

Lucas raises his eyebrows as she flounces away, turning his amused expression to Shawn.

Lucas: What did you do to her? You run over her brand new puppy, or what?

Shawn: Why, you actually concerned for one of them?

Lucas: No, I was kind of hoping I could take credit for it. It’s so funny when they pop off like that.

Shawn rolls his eyes, gesturing for Lucas to come in anyway when he states he asked to see him. He explains that with Isadora now in the show as an actress, they’re going to need someone to step into the role of manager. He’d like to offer him the position. Lucas is reluctant, obviously not certain himself if he’s cut out for such a major responsibility.

Lucas: Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, I don’t even know what show we’re doing.

Shawn: … seriously?

Lucas: Look, you think I pay attention to any of this? If I could get away with wearing ear plugs all day, I would.

Valid point. Still, they need someone who can take charge and Lucas has more than proven his ability to lead. Considering he orchestrated a full-on revolution, Shawn posits he could handle one small production. After a few more words of flattery and a brief pause, Lucas agrees.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Understandably, not everyone is entirely sold on Lucas’s step into such an important leadership position. Thus, Lucas ends up opposite JACK HUNTER in his office once again, although this time he at least is not in trouble. Jack simply wants to confirm that he intends to take the role seriously, as there are a lot of stakes – and money – being poured into this production.

Jack: I’m only clarifying that you realize the importance of the position you’re being offered. I need to know that you’re going to take this seriously, because I don’t want to have to clean up the mess if you get irritated or bored with it and let it derail.

Lucas: Oh, how I do enjoy our little chats. Your confidence in me is earth-shattering.

Jack: I’m just being realistic. I know you don’t care about the show.

Lucas: Oh, no, not at all. You’re not wrong about that. [ after a beat ] But I do care about my crew. This reflects back on all of us, and I know it’s important to them. So I’m not going to let them down.

Honestly, that’s probably the one thing Jack can believe. Choosing to trust that Lucas is going to take the role seriously, he gives the green light. Lucas is officially the stage manager for Les Mis.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Lucas saunters into rehearsal, meeting with the techie brigade in their usual spot. Isadora’s absence is duly noted.

Jade: It’s weird without Isadora… [ glancing around ] and heavy on the testosterone.

But the show must go on, and so they will learn to operate without her. Dave hands Lucas a copy of the script.

Dave: It’s “The Miserables.”

Lucas: Oh, so it’s autobiographical.

Once Lucas is done snickering at his own joke, the group of them get down to business and make sure they’re all on the same page. Then, when there’s no more ducks to put in a row, Lucas exhales a pointed sigh.

Lucas: Okay. Let’s put on a fucking musical.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Little People” as performed by Les Misérables Original London Cast  || Performed by Nick Yogi (feat. AAA Sophomores)

Focus jumps to the stage, where Yogi in his role as Gavroche is leading this jaunty and upbeat number. While he leads the company, the techies work on putting together the show in the background. It’s the most pointed time lapse of the episode, showing the full-on construction of the technical aspects from week one through to dress rehearsal.

As the number ends, we’re deep within dress rehearsal week. Yogi and the company are in full costume, Yogi throwing a fist in the air as he’s lifted onto the shoulders of his castmates.

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Lucas is coming back late from school, dress rehearsals keeping them well into the night. As he unlocks the door and steps into the tiny entryway, it’s clear that he’s actually having a good time with how the show is unfolding. He’s even humming “Master of the House” as he makes his way in, shutting the door behind him. Yes, Lucas Friar, humming!

The moment he turns to face the rest of the apartment, however, his humming trails off. Something about it doesn’t feel quite right, and he immediately tenses up. Pieces of the scenery begin to jump out at him as his eyes adjust to the dark – some of the furniture in the living room is askew. There’s a broken object on the floor that he nearly steps on, porcelain lightly crunching underneath his boot. He kneels down to investigate, recognizing the vase that used to sit on the side table by the door now shattered on the hardwood.

Lucas takes on a more cautious stance, zeroing in on the one light glaring from the kitchen. He calls out for his mom, but there’s no answer. Getting to his feet, he apprehensively approaches the other room. The closer he gets, the slower he moves… his hand drifts to his pocket, grip closing around the switchblade…

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Thankfully, he doesn’t need the weapon, but that’s where the good news ends. Although we don’t see his mother, it’s clear from the way his expression shifts into panic that she isn’t in good shape. Kenneth Friar has certainly breezed through, that much is certain.

Lucas immediately calls out to her, scrambling to his knees and launching into action.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Lucas is back in his usual spot across the desk, alone in the office. He’s staring at the desktop, tapping his finger against the arm of the chair. Sort of present, but his mind is elsewhere.

When Jack steps in it startles him, causing him to jump. He clears his throat to cover to display of discomfort, locking eyes with Jack as he settles into the desk across from him. The whole thing is far more somber than usual, making it all feel even more disorienting.

Jack explains that Eric updated him on what happened. He’s grateful to hear that Grace is going to be okay. He also wants to know if Lucas is feeling okay, or is willing to share anymore about what he saw or experienced.

Lucas doesn’t respond. He keeps zoning out, currently focused on the small floral arrangement Jack has on the edge of his desk. It looks kind of like vase that used to be in his apartment…

Jack carries on, also stating that as far as he understands it, this isn’t the first time things like this have happened in the Friar household. Still nothing from Lucas. Jack sighs, changing tact instead and asking Lucas if there’s anything he thinks they can do for him.

Lucas: [ tearing his gaze from the flowers ] … Huh?

Jack, patiently: Is there anything we can do for you? Anything that you need, or that I can –

Lucas: No. [ defensive ] No, no. I’m fine. I don’t need anything.

Jack: Just, considering the circumstances –

Lucas: I’m fine. I don’t see why you would bother to ask now, since no one has ever bothered to care much before.

Jack: That’s not –

Jack begins the argument, before realizing it’s a futile effort. It’s not the time, and Lucas is in no state to be launching into debates about something so sensitive. Especially when he can hardly get him to hold a conversation. He instead opts to reiterate the point that Lucas is seen, they see him, and there are options. There are systems in place to help him, all he has to do is ask.

Lucas blinks, opening his mouth to say something. Jack hesitates, hoping it’ll pave the way for a solution. Any sort of progress.

Lucas: … I have to get to rehearsal.

He gets to his feet still in a daze, leaving the office without dismissal. Jack doesn’t fight him, but it’s evident he wishes there was more he could do.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Bring Him Home” as performed by Les Misérables Original London Cast  || Performed by Zay Babineaux & Jack Hunter

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Zay starts off the sentimental, protective ballad, in full costume and dress for the show. His performance is stellar, channeling all the emotion and depth of Jean Valjean seemingly effortlessly. It’s a tough portrayal to beat.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Still, nothing is more raw than experiencing the actual emotions of such a character. It’s not the French revolution, but Jack feels a distinct sense of dread and ache as he watches Lucas saunter off, feeling helpless to actually aid him in a way he needs it.

The phrases “He’s like the son I might’ve known, if God had granted me a son,” and “Bring him peace, bring him joy, he is young, he is only a boy” ring particularly true.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Zay brings the number to a close, demonstrating his lovely falsetto.

INT. AAA - TECHNICIAN’S BOOTH - DAY

Lucas is asleep in his chair, having dozed off while working on last minute details for the production. Isadora pokes her head in, having come by early opening night to rehearse one last time. Her entrance spooks him and accidentally wakes him up, Isadora immediately apologizing as he reorients himself with reality. He waves her off, disregarding the apology.

The two of them hang in the quiet for a moment, before Lucas informs her cheekily that this job she does ain’t easy. She’s like oh, no kidding, but she’s smiling as she does. When he expresses some doubt in his ability to pull this off, Isadora quells those concerns and assures him that she can’t think of anyone else better suited to take over for her.

As she darts off, Lucas gives her a sentiment of good luck. Unfamiliar, but he’s trying.

Lucas: Good luck. Or break a leg. You know. Whatever they say on the other side of the tracks.

Lucas glances down at his script binder, taking a deep breath. Then he gets to his feet, descending from the booth as the rest of the cast begins to assemble for call time.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “One Day More” as performed by Les Misérables Original London Cast  || Performed by AAA Sophomores

The cast launches into the famous first act finale, all preparing for the emotional whirlwind that is sure to be opening night. It ties all of the stories together in preparation for the final act, everyone singing their roles and coming together as a cast and crew.

In fact, even Lucas gets his due. On the lyric “My place is here, I fight with you,” Lucas takes the solo as he steps up with his techie crew to brave the production as a team. Dylan, Asher, and Dave all clap him on the shoulders.

With resounding gusto, we launch into the remainder of the episode.

PART VI: “The Future That They Bring When Tomorrow Comes”

INT. AAA - ATRIUM - NIGHT

Opening night is upon us! There’s nerves and excitement in the air. Outside the auditorium, family and friends alike mill about and wait for the doors to open.

INT. AAA - DRESSING ROOM HALL - NIGHT

Performers and techies are both in a frenzy, adjusting last minute details and shouting for one another to fix mic packs or tweak costumes.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

Although the chaos continues onto the stage with the stagehands, the further out into the audience one goes the quieter it gets. Riley is making her way towards the back, jogging up the steps to the technician’s booth.

INT. AAA - TECHNICIAN’S BOOTH - NIGHT

Riley knocks lightly before poking her head inside, surprised to not find Lucas in his usual chair. She almost turns around, but just a little bit of further investigation solves the mystery for her.

Lucas is seated on the floor in front of the electrical cabinet, leaning back against it with his arms propped on his knees and eyes closed. It’s a setting of unequivocal quiet, a sharp contrast to the hectic nature of everything else.

It also gives Riley the distinct sense that she’s disrupting said quiet. She starts to tiptoe her way out, but Lucas already heard her come in.

Lucas: You just going to leave without saying goodbye? Seems a bit harsh for you.

Riley laughs sheepishly, stepping fully into the space as Lucas opens his eyes to look at her. She asks if she’s interrupting, which Lucas waves off. He’s just taking his pre-show bout of silence, and traditionally, no one is supposed to bother him during this ritual.

Riley: I didn’t mean to – I can come back –

Lucas: It’s fine. What do you want?

Riley takes the moment to thank him for being willing to listen the other day and allowing her into his space. She also appreciated his advice, and she doesn’t know how she’s going to be able to repay him for that.

Lucas: It wasn’t a big deal.

Riley: … well, it was to me. So, thank you.

After a moment, Lucas nods, accepting the gratitude. The quiet between them lingers, and there’s held eye contact. Soft eye contact, at that.

JEFF MONROE enters, obviously surprised to find another person already in the booth. He glances between them, giving Lucas a quizzical look before asking if he should come back. Not that he really has much time given they’re opening the doors in ten minutes, and someone needs to set up the lights…

Riley clears her throat, offering him a smile and claiming she was just leaving. She wishes both of them luck, certain that they’re going to kill it. Lucas returns the sentiment as he climbs to his feet, telling her to break a leg now that he’s practiced the sentiment more than once.

After she leaves, Jeff settles into the lighting board chair while Lucas gathers his things to head backstage. It’s impossible for Jeff not to make a comment.

Jeff, teasingly: I thought no one was allowed up here during pre-show quiet.

Lucas: Shut up.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

Isadora is in the wings, peeking through the curtain to watch the audience file in. The expression on her face makes it clear just how conflicted she is about the impending rise of the curtain.

Maya finds her, coming up behind her to take a look as well. It’s looking like a full house for opening night. She starts to comment on it, but Isadora pointedly steps away from her claiming she has nothing to say to her. Maya acknowledges this, stating that she’s right, but she hopes she’ll listen because she wants to apologize.

Maya goes on to state that they are too talented to be enemies, and she doesn’t want to create a reputation for herself as a diva who can’t uplift her fellow female powerhouses. If anything, they need to stick together. She says she is certain that Isadora is going to bring the house down – not because her mother is famous, but because she’s Isadora. Surname irrelevant.

Isadora doesn’t outright forgive her, but it’s clear that the sentiment is genuine. The orchestra begins to tune their instruments, casting quiet over the audience. Maya wishes her luck, disappearing deeper into the wings to take her places.

INT. AAA - DRESSING ROOM HALL - NIGHT

Charlie is with Yindra backstage, the latter giving him a note about cooling it on the kiss from here on out. She appreciates his initiative to just get it over with, but they want to look professional, not insane.

Farkle passes them, on the phone with his parents in full costume. He’s evidently stressed about whether or not they’re going to be present, and given how he’s responding to the other end of the line it doesn’t sound good. Dylan pokes his head, searching for Farkle and insisting that he take his place for his entrance because they’re almost to his opening scene.

Farkle swallows his disappointment, handing his phone to Yogi who runs it back to the dressing room. Then he squares his shoulders, stepping back into character. Cold, removed, a man of the law. He pushes through the stage doors.

INT. AAA - DRESSING ROOM HALL - NIGHT

The full cast and crew are assembled, Shawn giving them great praise for intermission and questioning if there’s anything they all need. As the group disperses and a few performers hang back to ask him questions, Charlie is surprised when his older sister AGATHA GARDNER (22) sneaks through the doors to greet him. His face immediately brightens, and he gratefully accepts her enthusiastic hug. She knows she’s not supposed to be backstage, but she wanted to tell him how amazing he’s doing so far.

Pulling her aside and with a semblance of privacy, Charlie asks if Bridgette was able to make it or not. Aggie’s face twitches with sympathy, and she essentially has to be the one to break the news to Charlie that Bridgette… isn’t coming anywhere for awhile. She fucked it up with mom and dad, and now she has to face the consequences. Nor does she seem particularly bent on winning back their good graces. That’s just the way it is.

Predictably, this news does not make Charlie feel better. Before Aggie can reassure him, the bell rings calling the audience back for Act 2. She gives him a kiss on the cheek and tells him to break a leg, disappearing back through the doors. The mild fear in his expression after their conversation does not bode well for him.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

Farkle takes the stage for his final number, marching out into the bright lights. He scans the audience, hope still intact for the briefest of moments… before it crumbles to dust. No sign of his parents anywhere amongst the full crowd of spectators, they weren’t able to make it. Because of course they weren’t.

In the next instant, he jumps into the frantic, broken energy of his final solo downright effortlessly. Maybe, perhaps, because it doesn’t feel much like acting.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Javert’s Suicide: Soliloquy” as performed by Les Misérables Original London Cast  || Performed by Farkle Minkus

Farkle completely chews up the scenery in his final scene, bringing down the house with a convincing portrayal of a man pushed to the brink. For having been in the background for most of the episode, the performance certainly serves to remind us why he’s at Adams at all.

When it comes to his “suicide jump,” Farkle simply backs his way off the set piece and allows himself to fall right into the shadows. As is typical of the production, the audience literally gasps based on how shocking the technical aspects make it appear to be.

Farkle lands safely on the cushion set up for him to catch his fall, but he looks pretty listless as he lays there in the darkness of the scenery. He stares up at the stage lights and catwalk dangling above him, not planning on moving anytime soon from the looks of it.

INT. AAA - BOYS DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Charlie is hiding in the dressing room, crouched up on the corner of the countertop and resting his head against the mirror. Dave startles him out of his fugue, informing him that there’s five minutes until “Empty Chairs,” so he should head to places soon. Charlie thanks him, jumping back to his feet and making sure his mic pack is still in place.

Zay enters, coming in to adjust his old age makeup for the finale. He compliments Charlie’s performance so far, stating that he’s killing it. Charlie returns the sentiment, somewhat robotically. Then, Zay says something that totally throws him off.

Zay: They hated it.

Charlie whips around to face him, uncertain. He asks what Zay means, and he quickly clarifies that he’s talking about the dance movie.

Zay: The movie. Critics hated it, it got horrible reviews. Totally panned. It’s gonna be hilarious to watch.

Charlie: Oh. Oh, yeah.

Zay: Can’t wait til after the show. Hope you’re ready for mediocrity in full-screen glory.

Charlie: Yeah. Yeah, ha ha.

Zay heads out, leaving him back in the dressing room alone. Charlie attempts to shake off this daze that has taken hold of him, but when he catches his reflection in the mirror, he gets stuck on it. He can’t seem to look away from it – it doesn’t feel like he’s looking at himself.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Empty Chairs At Empty Tables” as performed by Les Misérables Original London Cast  || Performed by Charlie Gardner

Through his daze, Charlie starts a shaky and emotional rendition of the tragic final Marius solo. The sequence emphasizes his feeling of disconnect, how empty the space around him is…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

Translating to a truly heart-wrenching performance on stage. Charlie channels Marius’s sense of grief powerfully, almost as if he can imagine what it would be like for all of your loved ones to suddenly disappear out of your life. Like he’s spent a lot of time pondering that potential end.

Tear-stained and emotionally raw, Charlie brings the performance to a close. The applause is resounding, but it sounds far away. After a moment, he gets himself to move and exits the stage.

INT. AAA - ATRIUM - NIGHT

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Finale” as performed by Les Misérables Original London Cast  || Performed by AAA Sophomores

As the instrumental to the first half underscores, the sophomore class emerges from the stage doors to greet their waiting audience in the atrium. It’s a joyful, energetic time, pride and love consuming every inch of the space as parents hug their talented students and flowers are handed in every direction.

Riley is greeted by Cory and Topanga, Auggie beating them to it and giving her a tight hug. She swings him around before focusing on her parents, accepting their hugs and kisses as well as flowers. Still, she feels torn between them.

Maya runs to greet Katy, who pulls her into a swaying hug. When they pull apart, she assures her that she was the star regardless of what role she had. Maya pulls her back into the embrace.

Farkle is wandering the space, accepting compliments from other families but feeling somewhat isolated. That is, until Angela appears through the crowd to offer him sincere congratulations. It’s such a relief to see her, and when she offers him a hug he returns the embrace tightly. From the emotional expression on his face, it’s clear the attention means more to him than he could ever accurately express.

Isadora is proceeding with caution through the throng of families, eyes widening when her most excited audience parts the crowd to meet her. It’s Valerie De La Cruz, in the flesh and in all her glamour. She managed to work out her schedule so she could come see the show, and she is so incredibly proud of Isadora.

Isadora doesn’t even know how to respond. She doesn’t know if she’s dreaming, or if this is a fever hallucination, or what. Luckily, she has an excuse to run away, stating that she has to take care of something real quick…

INT. AAA - DRESSING ROOM HALL - NIGHT

Maya catches up to Riley backstage, the latter expecting a snarky comment. Instead, Maya merely congratulates her on a great performance. She tells her it makes complete sense why she got the role, and she knows she’s going to continue to bring it with their remaining shows. A bit of a 180, but not unwelcome. Riley tentatively accepts the compliment.

INT. AAA - BOYS DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Zay is in the dressing room with the other boys, gathering his things and in an upbeat mood. Charlie’s stuff is already gone. He says goodbye to Nigel and Yogi as they head out, just as a text message comes through on his phone.

It’s from Charlie, and just one line. “I can’t.”

Zay stares at the message, his smile fading. He starts to type a response but then hesitates, not sure what he would even say. It’s not clear how he’s taking this development.

INT. AAA - TECHNICIAN’S BOOTH - NIGHT

Lucas is closing up the booth for the night, considering there’s no reason for him to be out in the atrium. Still, he’s making little progress. He’s sort of in a state of shock, stunned that he managed to pull off such a responsibility without fucking it up.

He crashes into his chair, looking out towards the stage. All poised and ready for the next night. There’s something oddly charming about it.

Isadora pokes her head in, wondering if he’s just about ready to go. He explains that he’s just finishing cleaning up, but yeah, should be soon. Isadora takes this as her cue, a grin creeping onto her face as she starts lightly singing the words to the closing number. “Do you hear the people sing? Lost in the valley of the night…”

Lucas spins around to give her a look, his disdain shifting to surprise when the rest of the techies join in on the vocalizing. They all cram into the booth, poorly but happily singing the closing lines in some sort of prideful tribute to congratulate Lucas on a job well done. He shakes his head, hiding his face behind his palm and grimacing, but it’s clear he’s endeared.

Lucas, embarrassed: You all can’t sing. Stop.

They continue on anyway, smiles wide as Dave steps forward carrying a cookie cake. He drops it down onto the table in front of Lucas, bearing a cheeky message of congratulations. They’re definitely pushing his reputation, because it’s evident that Lucas is touched.

The group of them break into applause, gearing up to share in the cookie together. Now, there’s a family. As the performers take over the vocalization…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

The finale to the show unfolds on the stage, focus being drawn to each of our main players as they sing their hearts out in the emotional conclusion. Just off in the wings, Dylan and Asher lean forward to give Lucas bracing pats on the shoulder.

In the audience, Valerie makes eye contact with Isadora. Isadora blinks, not certain that she’s seeing her correctly. But she doesn’t go away. No, she is in fact there, as she’ll come to see in just a few minutes.

Who knows what all this will bring when tomorrow comes…

END OF EPISODE.

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Find Your Way Home | Part 2 of 5

Not all of the Avengers show up to dinner. Bucky doesn’t know whether to be grateful or annoyed that their strategy to ease Bucky in is so obvious. Was Tony’s welcome a part of that?

Dinner that night has Bucky meeting Bruce and Clint, both betas who should be less of a threat to an alpha like Bucky and therefore set him more at ease. It sort of works - Bucky hasn’t avoided the news enough to not recognize the Hulk or Hawkeye, and so he knows even the betas in the Avengers are threats. Dinner remains fun and simple, though. Bruce shares stories of his travels, Clint talks about everything and anything, and Sam drops enough dry comments that the conversation keeps going, though Bucky remains quiet. Steve is there, an anchor amongst all the commotion. Steve can’t pull Bucky into the past - the other three divert the topic every time - but Steve keeps Bucky grounded in the present, a reminder of why he’s here.

Bucky wants to remember. He wants to remember what home is.

He doesn’t sleep that night. He rests, lying on the mattress that is the best he’s ever felt, but he doesn’t close his eyes. He remains there until there’s a ding, which turns out to be JARVIS notifying him that Steve has left a message for when he’s awake.

Bucky opens it. Does he want to go with Steve to walk around the streets of NYC?

Bucky swallows and gets out of bed.

“There’s not a lot left that looks the same,” Steve says as he leads Bucky up the stairs from the subway into Brooklyn territory. “There’s been a bit of… oh, what did Sam call it, gentrification? Or something, a lot of renovation and changes. It looks nice but… it’s not the same.”

Bucky nods. He keeps an eye out for anyone tailing him, tailing them, but looks around to see if anything jostles his memory. Bucky gets nothing, at least from the architecture. Steve keeps talking, jumping around from old memories to the ones that Steve doesn’t have himself, explaining the decades that neither Steve and Bucky remember. They get burgers for lunch and walk along the wharf, and Bucky doesn’t remember much but today, in the sun, with Steve at his side, it doesn’t bother him so much.

Steve’s scent still niggles at Bucky’s brain, but being out on the streets dilutes it out and prevents a headache from forming.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Steve admits as they stare at the Manhattan skyline across the river. “Memories or not, Buck… I’m just glad to know you’re safe.”

Until the end of the line, punk. Bucky has remembered enough, writing them down in his journals, to know what he should say. But the words don’t feel right yet. He can’t say them.

“Me too,” Bucky says, and offers Steve a smile.

Steve grins back and claps him on his shoulder. “Come on, we’re almost at Coney Island and I can show you where I puked after you dragged me on that roller coaster.”

(More after the break!)

*

There’s another dinner to introduce the rest of the pack. Natasha is an alpha and a high level threat, so she’s introduced to Bucky with Tony at her side to keep things relaxed.

Bucky tenses and tilts his head. “I remember you,” he realizes, and it wasn’t a pleasant one. He’d been on a mission… was she the target? No…

“Good,” Natasha says as she sits. A strategic move to make her seem non-threatening, but Bucky accepts it as a truce and so he sits as well. “That means I’ll forgive you for shooting me.”

Right, he’d shot through her to get to his target behind her.

“Twice,” Steve says with a smirk at her. Steve takes the seat next to Bucky rather than Tony.

Bucky frowns.

“Don’t push it, Rogers,” Natasha says, threatening him with her spoon.

Bucky tenses, but doesn’t move. Challenges for hierarchy in the ‘pack’ happened all the time in Hydra, and Steve and Natasha were both alphas.

“Alright, alright, keep the posturing to your own time. This is dinner, it’s time to eat!” Tony says, clapping his hands.

To Bucky’s surprise, they do. There’s no fight, no challenge. Steve and Natasha don’t even insult each other or glare or do anything. Bucky remains quiet in his seat, but the conversation around him is easy and fluid.

Pack.

*

Bucky is out with Steve on another walk through the streets of New York. They pass through a market, with produce and flowers and trinkets, where everything is new. Neither of them expect Bucky to remember anything.

Steve had left off with a story about the Howling Commandos, though, and so Bucky shares, “You found a good pack now, though.”

“Yeah, I did. The Avengers are… it’s good,” Steve replies as he looks over the offering of gerber daisies. “Missed you, though. The Commandos… Peggy,” Steve says with a small shrug.

“Still, a good pack. And you have a bonded now,” Bucky replies, confused at Steve’s dismissal. “He seems…good,” he finally settles on, though Bucky knows the word is inadequate.

Tony had welcomed Bucky, right from the start. Maybe that was because of Steve asking him to, but to give Bucky his own space in the Tower? And JARVIS told Bucky that Tony had provided the overwhelming selection of things in Bucky’s closet, with Bucky free to choose to keep or toss anything. The trust and generosity… it had been so long since Bucky had seen anything like it, and Bucky doesn’t know what to do with them.

Steve bonding Tony makes sense. Tony is fantastic - as a person, as a teammate, and as a bonded. Bucky tries not to be jealous. Steve has memories, a pack, and a mate. Bucky had Hydra, and now has nothing.

“Tony is Tony,” Steve replies with a small laugh. “When you get to know him, you’ll understand. It’s just… not the same. But good,” Steve clarifies hurriedly. “I’m just so glad you’re here too.”

Bucky nods. He picks over a stack of apples to prevent himself from thinking what it would be like to come home to a pack like the Avengers and come home to… not Tony, because Tony is Steve’s, but someone like Tony, maybe. Maybe someday, if Bucky can remember who he is.

“How did you do it? Ask him to bond?” Bucky asks as he hands over the cash for his small bag of apples. JARVIS had given him many options to access money to use for whatever Bucky desired, but Bucky stuck to the small amount of currency he’d accumulated on the run.

“Oh, it’s not a good story. It kinda just… happened,” Steve waves away. “Hey, why don’t we take a left up here? Sam suggested we check out this bakery that’s supposed to have the best cronuts of the city.”

*

Slowly, Bucky settles into the Tower. Dinner with the pack now means all the pack, except for Thor who is offworld. Some days he goes out exploring with Steve, talking through pieces of memories that Bucky has. Some days he lurks around the Tower and avoids everyone. Some days he goes to sports games with Sam, who doesn’t seem to have a favorite game.

Bucky lets himself be dragged to a minor league baseball game, a professional basketball game, a college tennis tournament, a high school cross country meet. It isn’t until Bucky finds himself at a Little League’s football match that Bucky decides to ask.

“Why did you bring me here?”

Sam leans back on the bleachers, sipping a Coke as he watches little kids run around the field. “You’re the one who said yes, man.”

“You often come to Little League games on your own?” Bucky asks.

“Nah, but football is a bit out of season. This is the closest we could manage.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow as he watches a kid trip over the lump of grass. The ‘we’ Sam had dropped implied it was a pack decision. Did that include Steve? Because Steve would never have suggested taking Bucky to a football game. Baseball was Steve’s game of choice and he had recounted several memories of games they’d gone to together. Bucky doesn’t remember any other sports.

“What’s next on the list?” Bucky asks.

“Soccer and hockey are the next big ones. You got any suggestions? No limit, not with Tony Stark financing. We could go to a soccer game in Argentina, if you want.”

“Not how I remembered a pack working,” Bucky voices carefully, watching Sam to see if he’s overstepping. “One person paying for everything.”

Sam shrugs at the question. “Tony’s got a lot, and he’s not afraid to share. He’s a good guy; it doesn’t come with strings attached or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’ve had to find my own ways to contribute to the pack, like being the eye candy,” Sam says with a smirk.

Bucky rolls his eyes, and Sam laughs.

“Don’t worry about it,” Sam continues. “You want a job we can find you one. I still work part time at the VA and I’m totally willing to refer you for like, mopping floors or something if you want.” Then Sam looks at him, gaze serious. “But right now, the most important thing you can do is take care of yourself, okay? That’s what packs are for, that support system, so I’m telling you to not worry about it right this second.”

Bucky thinks Sam’s words over, and then it takes Bucky several moments more moments to voice, “Dancing. I’d… I’d like to go, to watch.”

Sam grins. “Alright, man. Not my speed, but we can hook you up.”

Back at the Tower, JARVIS offers Bucky a variety of ways to go see dancing. There’s Broadway or off-Broadway or off-off-Broadway, with both dancing and singing. There are collegiate dance recitals and professional ballroom dancing competitions and even strip clubs listed as options. Bucky picks the one he meant, though: ballet.

*

“I’m so thrilled! Who would’ve guessed that the Winter Soldier would be the one with culture compared to Captain America?” Tony greets when Bucky comes down to the communal floor the night of the ballet.

Bucky hesitates. Not because of what Tony said, but because of how Tony is dressed. Tony’s suit is a classic black with a white shirt, but the cut and the fit stall Bucky’s brain. Tony’s collar is done up, and Steve’s mark isn’t visible but Bucky wants nothing more than to press his face against Tony’s neck and take in Tony’s scent. Bucky had only gotten small whiffs of Tony’s scent trail over the past few days.

Bucky had seen little of Tony since that initial dinner with Natasha. Occasionally Tony stopped by the pack dinners, always on his way coming from somewhere or going somewhere else but dispensing cheek brushes and pats to the shoulder before he was gone again. Even with as much time with Steve that Bucky was spending, he hadn’t seen Tony.

Maybe Steve and Tony hung out when Bucky was with Sam?

Then Bucky sees Natasha behind Tony, and wonders if Tony is only here to be a buffer between alphas.

“Sam isn’t into ballet, but I am,” Natasha says, hair curled and dressed in a slim knee-length black dress. “If you’d rather that I didn’t come…”

“It’s fine,” Bucky says, which is true. There’s the tingling sense of another alpha, a threat in the vicinity, but Bucky was getting better at tamping it down after spending so much time with Steve, and Tony’s scent helps. And better not to be alone with Tony, because Bucky is still an outside alpha and shouldn’t be trusted with the pack omega.

That’s old-fashioned, he reminds himself. Sam had given him a rundown during one of their sports matches. And even if omegas were still supposed to be hidden away, Tony could take care of himself Iron Man suit or no. But wouldn’t it still be weird to go to a ballet with Steve’s bonded?

“You, however, are not,” Tony says, eyeing Bucky. “Go change that shirt and grab a blazer.”

Bucky hesitates, crossing his arms. He’s more casual than they are, dressed in jeans and a long sleeved shirt. He’d worn similar outfits to all the sports games and had put it on without even thinking.

Natasha nods. “You’ll attract attention like that, where we’re going.”

Bucky retreats to his room.

With JARVIS’ additional guidance, Bucky comes back down a second time more properly dressed in a button down and blazer. Once they get to the theater, Bucky starts to relax. The lack of comfort in the new outfit is worth being able to fade into the crowd. He almost wishes he had changed from jeans to something else, too, but Natasha grabs his arm and leads him away.

They leave Tony behind, a crowd forming as they ask for autographs and pictures.

“Should we leave him?” Bucky murmurs.

“He can handle this, and there’s enough kids that he doesn’t mind it too much anyway,” Natasha replies as she leads him into the theater.

Still, Bucky thinks that someone - Steve - should be there with him.

“He’s fine,” Natasha assures, squeezing his arm when Bucky takes another glance back. “And don’t say anything about it or he’ll get all ruffled about alpha posturing. Speaking of which, you’re doing remarkably well with me.”

Bucky shrugs.

“Steve had a much harder time,” Natasha murmurs as she hands over their tickets. “I think we expected the same of you.”

Bucky doesn’t know what to say to that, so he doesn’t respond. Hydra had been a pit of posturing, but Bucky, the Winter Soldier, whatever he was, hadn’t bothered. When he was challenged he simply killed his opponent, and soon enough he was left alone. Now, Bucky prefers avoiding confrontation and the attention it would bring. Flight came easier than fight. Bucky remembers enough to know that Steve Rogers would never understand that, pre or post Captain America.

Even now, Bucky still has the urge to run from Steve and the memories Steve brings to the surface.

Right when the lights dim, Tony takes his seat next to Natasha. The private box has only the three of them, and Bucky is grateful not to be packed in below without an easy escape route.

Then the show starts.

Bucky enjoys it. His chest aches, something teasing him in his brain, but it’s a good kind of ache. He can hardly take his eyes off the principal dancer, leaping across the stage in a fiery red dress while the male lead chases after her while performing a complex set of spins.

There’s a lift matched with a musical crescendo, and when Natasha leans forward Bucky gets a waft of her scent.

The memory devours him. The Red Room. Training. Blood. Ballet. Girls, so many girls, but one with red hair. One he danced with. One he beat to near death. One with that scent.

A new scent floods his nose, one that makes Bucky think of flying and forging. The memory relaxes its hold, and Bucky blinks and realizes that he’s still in the box, the ballet is still ongoing, and Tony is in his face.

Natasha is gone.

“Hey, hey, you’re fine, you’re fine,” Tony whispers, hands hovering over Bucky but not touching.

Bucky relaxes his grip on the armrests, and he realizes he has left dents where his fingers were.

“You want to stay, or…?” Tony offers.

Bucky shakes his head, and then Tony is herding him out of the box and out of the theater.

“Eh, it was getting stuffy in there anyway,” Tony breezes as he calls for a car. “I’m thinking ice cream is a much better choice, what do you think?” He keeps a hand on Bucky’s arm.

Bucky could shove him off, could disappear. He’d miss his backpack - still kept stocked with food, water, and his journals - but he could run.

Tony puts his phone down. “Is that a no for the ice cream? Or a yes? Or we can do whatever you and Steve or Sam or whoever do when you get hit by a bad memory, it’s cool, I just don’t know what the usual is, you know. Not that I don’t care, because I do, we just didn’t want to overwhelm you all the time with us given your previous Lone Star state.”

Bucky breathes. He wishes he had his journal. It was easier to stop his brain from circling when some of the thoughts were put down on paper. He doesn’t have his journal. He has Tony and a city that would be easy to disappear into.

“Where is Tasha?” Bucky forces out, and then winces as the nickname escapes. “I, she shouldn’t have, she left you. She left you with me, that shouldn’t, your pack,” he stumbles.

“You’re pack,” Tony states, firm and sharp.

Bucky’s chest heaves. He remembers the blood on his knuckles. He remembers the feeling of a throat underneath his palm. He remembers the echo of his gun in his ears. “I’ve, I’ve done things. I didn’t choose them, but I did them.”

“Welcome to the club,” Tony bites back. “Listen. I don’t need to know what your kill count is to know that I have it beaten at least three times over, all because I was an idiot. You think Iron Man will ever make up for the lives that ended because I wasn’t paying attention? You think any of us don’t regret the lives that we took? Steve? Sam? I’m sure Natasha has stories directly on par with yours. Ask Clint about Loki sometime, except don’t. Even Bruce gets it, okay?”

Tony steps closer. Bucky freezes, afraid that his own reaction will be violent if he so much as lets himself twitch. Tony brushes his cheek, just like when they’d met.

“You’re pack,” Tony repeats firmly as he steps back. “Like it or not, you’re one of us.”

“Because I’m Steve’s,” Bucky says.

“Because you fit,” Tony counters. “Or you will, when you stop lurking in corners. Or lurk in them less, feel free to continue lurking if it makes you happy. We’ll be here. Any of us.”

Tony steps back again and brushes off his jacket. “Now, ice cream?”

[jam2289]

Nice People - What does it mean?

My default perspective of people is that they're nice. That doesn't particularly hold true if you compare things to history, or other cultures, or even all of my own experience. I've had my life threatened many times, I've been shot at, had someone try to stab me, been successfully poisoned in Africa, have had money stolen, been lied to and betrayed, been lied about, and I've been conned a few times. I've largely ignored this contradiction because I didn't know how to reconcile it. But, the last 16 months have held it in my awareness so consistently that I need to confront my ideas about the niceness of people. Today is a good example.

I decided to go for a walk at Lake Harbor Park to clear my head. It's been a drizzly day, which I like. With an overcast sky blocking out the sun, the park wasn't too busy, which I also like. I took a trail that isn't the most popular. You walk up a small incline of sand, and then turn down a narrow ravine with trees all around you. Even when the sun is out it doesn't touch you there. I didn't encounter any people on that trail.

I could hear the heavy waves of Lake Michigan crashing on the sandy shore in front of me as I started to come out of the ravine. There's a steep climb up a sand dune. I cut across the top of the dunes along the shore, watching the waves crash. I saw one other woman with her dog and a backpack sitting on the sand staring out over the water. My boots left footprints in the sand, but made hardly a sound. With the noise from the wind and the waves the woman didn't even notice me walk by her, and I left her to her solitary contemplation. She seemed nice.

I saw that there were large orange markers floating out in the lake and wondered what they were for. I came off the dunes onto a set of wooden stairs. The first thing that I noticed was that the part of the channel that had collapsed earlier in the year had been repaired. As I walked down the stairs I noticed that there was a man with a jet ski in the channel. It seemed that him and his son were pulling in the orange buoys with the jet ski. I smiled and waved, and they smiled and waved back as they headed back out of the channel for another round. They seemed nice.

As I was getting in my car to leave there was a couple getting out of their car two parking spots over. The husband got the two dogs, and the mother was picking up the baby girl. I said hi to the guy and he said hi back, and I waited to make sure both of the dogs were where I could see them before backing out. They seemed nice.

I decided to stop at Meijer on Henry to get some Wallaby brand kefir, because it's a tasty treat. I walked to the back of the store, grabbed two bottles in each hand, and got in line. It was an oddly long line stretching from the self-checkout area, across the main aisle, and into the produce area. I was standing in line and a guy came up and stood next to me. He stared at the line and sighed. He put his two half-gallons of chocolate milk that he was carrying onto a stack of Coca-Cola in the aisle. I laughed and said, "It's a weirdly long line today. It's not a holiday or anything is it? The holiday was last weekend." He agreed that it was odd having such a long line.

We were talking and he kept adjusting his mask. I said, "The masks are annoying aren't they?" He agreed and said, "What's really annoying is the six foot thing. Whenever you start to get close to anyone they start to do this!" And he tucked into a little cower and shuffled away like he was afraid. We both laughed, me with my leprechaun bandana around my neck and him adjusting his mask. We talked about my students who grew up wearing masks in the Soviet Union and in China. He mentioned conditioning, and then told me that he uses whole Meijer brand chocolate milk that he mixes with plain two percent milk to create the best tasting concoction. We checked out at the same time at different registers and were walking out together. I told him that it was nice talking with him. He asked me my name and I told him, and he told me his name was Eric. We shook hands and he said how nice it was to meet me. And how unusual it was to have a nice conversation in a checkout line, especially now, and he liked that I was a teacher. He was surprised to have had such a nice talk.

The next place I was headed for was Scott Meats. I drove down Broadway Avenue. The road feels like driving down a rough two-track, as you're bouncing along you look out the window and see empty business after empty business, boards over the windows and doors, a desolate sight. There were more people than usual walking along the sidewalk. I noticed that one was holding a cardboard sign that read "Black Lives Matter", and just after that I passed the rally they were holding in the park. Ignoring the crippling content of the underlying philosophy, people walking on the sidewalk and speaking and standing in a park seem nice.

As I was walking into the meat store there was a guy standing outside with a bag on his walker. I asked if he needed help. He seemed quite surprised that I talked to him. He said he was just waiting for a cab. He seemed nice.

I went inside and grabbed my ticket, waited, and got a bag of hanger steaks. I asked what the seasoning was on them and the clerk told me that it wasn't anything particularly special, but a mix that they made in the back. He seemed nice.

I got in line as the woman in front of me was just finishing checking out. The cashier motioned me forward as she called for someone to come help the woman carry out her two bags. She had asked the cashier if the hanger steaks were any good, she said yes, and I said, "They are very good." The cashier scanned my bag and I put in my card as she told the woman waiting that it would be a moment for someone to come and carry her bags for her. I said, "I can help you." Both of the women were very surprised and said "Really?!" I said, "Yeah, I'm headed that way anyway." and laughed. They both did the thing where you agree with something by making one muffled laugh and nodding your head. The cashier remarked several times that it was so nice of me to help. I carried my bag in one hand and one of the woman's bags in the other hand. She thanked me several times as we walked to her truck. I told her to have a nice day and she thanked me again. When I was one car away she yelled something. I turned around and asked, "What?" She said, "I can give you a dollar tip if you want." I said, "No, it's no problem. My car's right over there. Have a good one." She seemed nice.

On my drive home I was reflecting on these unusual interactions. Mostly on the fact that they seem normal to me, and they seem so surprising to the other people. I was thinking to myself, "Why have these people been so surprised by these normal interactions?" My mind answered back with the obvious, "Because they aren't normal." They never were, and are even less so now that covid has made everyone scared of everyone else. When's the last time that I saw someone carry groceries out for a stranger? Never. When's the last time I saw someone walk up to a stranger standing in a parking lot and ask them if they need help? Never. When's the last time I saw two strangers have a sincere conversation diving into serious topics in a checkout line? Never.

It's not that they never happen, they're just so rare that you aren't going to see them. Sometimes people plan to do nice things. A few years ago there was a fad about paying for the meal of the person behind you in the fast-food drive-through. I don't think it's the same thing psychologically. That's a planned anonymous charity, rather than a sincere person-to-person encounter in the moment. Helping people with money might be more common. A few years ago I was having breakfast at a restaurant. I was standing in the checkout line and the old guy in front of me was digging for money to pay. It seemed like he probably wasn't going to come up with the total amount. I told him and the cashier to just put it on mine and I'd cover it. He thanked me, but didn't seem surprised. The cashier didn't seem surprised either, and we had a little conversation about him having love and hate tattooed across his knuckles. No big deal.

On the other hand, a couple of years ago I was looking for a parking space at the grocery store in the middle of winter. There was an old guy that got his front tire stuck in a snowbank. He was putting it in forward, reverse, forward, reverse. I drove past him while finding a parking spot. There were a lot of people at the store. People walking in, people walking out. There were tons of people that walked past this guy. By the time that I had parked and walked down the parking lot lane, not a single person stopped to help him. All he needed was a little push. I helped him and he was on his way. I remember being surprised that no one else had offered to help this guy, even though a lot of people were walking right by him.

In my mind, in these various situations, I was just being nice. I get this emphasis on being nice from my mother. But you can see that there's some inconsistency in my use of the word and my application of the concept. Because of the way I use it almost everyone gets classified in my mind as nice. And that doesn't fully work, because when I encounter not nice people, as I often do, it conflicts with my perception of all of humanity as mostly nice, which is a depressing inner conflict. I need to change things to come into closer contact with reality.

Our performative actions contain more information than images, and images contain more information than words. What we're seeing here is a discrepancy between how I'm classifying performative actions of myself and others with the words that I'm using. When I'm helpful, I'm nice. When I offer to help, I'm nice. When I have a sincere personal encounter, I'm nice. When someone talks to me, they're nice. When someone smiles at me, they're nice. When someone doesn't do anything, they're nice. This extremely wide range makes the use of the word fuzzy.

There's a big gap between being helpful and not doing anything. The key difference is between being active and being passive. Now we're getting to the heart of the issue, I can feel it. My use of nice includes being not-bad, non-malevolent, and not-hurtful. These are completely passive things. We could say that the person isn't good or bad, they're neutral. Just because someone's not-bad doesn't mean they're good, being non-malevolent doesn't mean you're benevolent, being not-hurtful doesn't mean you're helpful. Being helpful is good, being hurtful is bad, being non-helpful and non-hurtful is neutral. It holds the potential for moral action, but isn't engaged in it.

This passivity is what's common. Mixing the ideas of being passive and being active is what's confused my working definition of niceness.

This pervasive passivity is also what allows for atrocities. Hannah Arendt and Karl Jaspers talk about this in Nazi Germany, and Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn and Vaclav Havel talk about it in the Soviet Union. Stanley Milgram demonstrated it in his famous experiments. Arendt called it the banality of evil. Milgram called it the agentic state. To classify this passivity under the same heading as helpfulness is obviously a mistake.

Now we know the distinction that I was failing to make in my thinking. There is an immense amount of change that comes from that. It will take some time for my mind, body, and soul to fully digest. But I can point out some of how it will begin. For instance, if I think that almost everyone is nice, and within niceness I have being non-malevolent, and being helpful. Then, when a bunch of people pass by someone who needs help, and it wouldn't even be inconvenient to help, they are both being nice in being non-malevolent, and not being nice for not being helpful. Most people are passive, not helpful. They can be helpful in certain circumstances. If the person was in their in-group and they knew them they might help them, if an authority figure told them to help they probably would, if others were helping they might conform, if there was a reward someone would help for the benefit. But being helpful outside of these parameters is extremely unusual. By making the clear distinction between passivity and helpfulness there is no longer an inner contradiction in my perception of the situation.

It does make a deeper problem stand out though. Since this passivity is the norm by far, and it allows for such great injustices to prevail, how do we move away from it as a society? The first part of that answer is simple, the society is made out of individuals, so it's a change that has to occur in individuals. Carl Jung emphasized that very clearly. Arendt talks about the importance of thinking as an individual, Jaspers talks about assessing your individual guilt, Viktor Frankl talks about discovering and fulfilling individual meaning. What they're all dealing with is the conscience. How do we activate the conscience? How do we make and keep it strong? When I wrote 'Moral Engagement' I was talking about the contents of conscience, but the practices that engage it are something different. It's what pulls Arendt, Jaspers, Solzhenitsyn, Havel, Jung, and Frankl all into the spiritual realm when they talk about doing good and constraining evil, first within the self. It's deeper than philosophy and psychology. What's needed is deeper than a better thought. The mind and body house an emergent property, the conscience, the soul. In the depths of the individual what's needed is spiritual healing. Heal the spirit, the conscience, the soul. That is the way forward.

Here's the link to 'Moral Engagement': http://www.jeffreyalexandermartin.com/2020/04/moral-engagement.html

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If you like this, check out JeffThinks.com or JeffreyAlexanderMartin.com

[citizenscreen]

During last year’s Christmas break, which happened to be just days after the What a Character! Blogathon, I settled in to watch episodes of The Gertrude Berg Show and found myself laughing aloud. A lot. The Berg Show, which was originally titled Mrs. G Goes to College, is about a widow who goes to college after her children are grown. The situation comedy, which only lasted from 1961 to 1962, also featured the goings on in the building where Sarah Green lives. Green (aka Mrs. G), played by the talented Gertrude Berg, has daily exchanges with Cedric Hardwicke who plays Professor Crayton, another tenant in the building, and landlady Winona Maxfield played by Mary Wickes. By the end of the first episode of The Gertrude Berg Show, I’d decided who my actor of choice would be for this year’s What a Character! Blogathon.

Mary Wickes was born Mary Isabella Wickenhauser in St. Louis, Missouri on June 13, 1910. Mary was the only child of doting parents, Frank and Isabella Wickenhauser. Her upbringing was one of homespun values in a well-to-do household. Mary described her parents as civic-minded people who loved people, which resulted in Mary’s interests outside of acting. She remained close to her parents always.

On April 12, 1988, Mary Wickes returned to her alma mater, Washington University in St. Louis to deliver a speech in honor of a close friend and former dean. In the speech Mary talked about the importance of her “bedrock values” and about her career. “I am very proud of my profession, ” she said, “I am proud of the tradition and I can’t imagine doing anything but being an actress.”

If you can tell anything from watching Mary Wickes’ work it’s that she enjoyed doing it. That enjoyment coupled with her talent made her one of Hollywood’s most accomplished character actors. Interestingly, her story is not one of those where the entertainer dreamed of entertaining from an early age. Wickes recalled in the Washington U. speech that her parents loved the theater and that she was taken to see shows since she was very young. Mary went on to say that her reaction to watching shows was rather strange, “If anything was terribly funny, or just wonderful – the leading lady wore beautiful evening clothes and the scene just went so beautifully – I would cry.” Clearly, she was moved, but it still never occurred to her that she would become an actor at that early age. Her interests were varied. She majored in Political Science and joined every club imaginable including the debate team, which she enjoyed immensely. It wasn’t until her junior year that acting became a possibility when one of her professors suggested she go to an open audition at a local theater. Mary auditioned and got the part and at the end of the production, the director asked Mary to join his summer theater troupe to see how she would stack up opposite professional actors. He also suggested she might want to change her name because Mary Isabella Wickenhauser would not likely fit on a marquee. The task of figuring out what she wanted her stage name to be proved one of the few she would ever fail at. She simply couldn’t think of one. But when the publicity materials for her first play had to be printed Wickenhauser received a wire that read, “Your name will be Mary Wickes for the season.” And it stayed that way forever.

Mary’s expressive face served her well and entertained millions

Mary Wickes went on to appear in over 200 productions in summer stock and regional theater. Her love of the stage lasted her entire career and she would travel to New York between movies for decades. Through the years she dazzled audiences in revivals of “The Wizard of Oz” wherein she played Miss Gulch/The Wicked Witch of the West, “Damn Yankees,” “Arsenic and Old Lace,” and “Oklahoma!” – all of which I would have killed to see.

While we’ve come to recognize Mary Wickes simply by the types of characters she played in movies and television, her stage credits demonstrate quite the acting range. She was prone to playing comedic roles that demanded more than the occasional deadpan delivery she excelled at. Orson Welles thought so too as he recruited her to be part of his famed The Mercury Theatre and cast her in his production of “Too Much Johnson” in 1938. A few years ago footage previously thought lost was discovered of this production to include prologues. I would love to get a look at that too.

Howard Smith, Mary Wickes, Orson Welles, Virginia Nicolson, William Herz, Erskine Sanford, Eustace Wyatt and Joseph Cotten outside the Stony Creek Theatre during the two-week run of the Mercury Theatre stage production of Too Much Johnson (August 16–29, 1938)

Mary’s entrance onto The Great White Way was as smooth as her start as an actor. Wickes was in New York for less than a week in 1934 when she secured a part as understudy to Margaret Hamilton in “The Farmer Takes a Wife” starring Henry Fonda. As Steve Taravella explains in his fantastic 2016 biography, Mary Wickes: I Know I’ve Seen That Face Before, “The Farmer Takes a Wife” tried out in Philadelphia where Mary was asked to go on for Margaret Hamilton for the first matinée. That usually happens only once in…pretty much never. It was most certainly a sign as the Variety critic happened to attend that very performance and opined that Mary Wickes was “more than okay.”

Among her other notable Broadway shows are Philip Barry’s “Spring Dance” and Kaufman and Edna Ferber‘s “Stage Door,” the first of five Kaufman plays in which she originated parts and her first Broadway hit. Kaufman later called her his favorite comedienne. Mary Wickes adored working with George S. Kaufman and would forge a life-long friendship with the Kaufman family.

Mary’s signature stage role was in the original Broadway production of the Moss Hart-George S. Kaufman comedy, “The Man Who Came to Dinner” in 1939. She played the nurse, Miss Preen in hilarious fashion opposite the show’s star, Monty Woolley. She and Woolley reprised their roles in William Keighley’s film version in 1942. In 1972, Mary played Miss Preen again in a TV version directed by Buzz Kulik. Orson Welles played Sheridan Whiteside (the Woolley role) in that production.

Miss Preen cemented one of Mary signature character roles

Mary Wickes, Orson Welles, Lee Remick, Edward Andrews. Don Knotts in the 1970 TV version of The Man Who Came to Dinner

Wickes and Woolley in the 1942 movie version of The Man Who Came to Dinner

Steve Taravella dedicates an entire chapter of his Wickes biography to Miss Preen, also known as “Miss Bedpan.” He explains how the success of the show, which ran for more than 700  performances, facilitated Broadway connections that helped Mary her entire career. And of course Miss Preen also cemented one of her signature character roles – the scene-stealing nurse. The movie version of The Man Who Came to Dinner was as successful as the play and it resulted in Mary becoming a favorite of directors, co-stars and audiences. And all because of a relatively small part opposite major screen gravitas also known as Bette Davis with whom Mary made three pictures. Given the popularity of Miss Preen it’s no wonder Mary Wickes was asked to bring other nurses to life on screen with the most popular example in our circles being nurse Dora Pickford in Irving Rapper’s Now, Voyager (1942). Mary’s depiction of Dora is particularly important because she provides the only comic relief in an otherwise very serious movie. Anyone familiar with Now, Voyager has probably recognized that making people smile playing opposite Gladys Cooper‘s Mrs. Vale could not have been an easy task.

Imagine being tasked with cheering this place up!

If one is to describe Mary Wickes’ overall specialty it was playing the prim, sarcastic woman who looked down her nose at those who failed to meet her standards. Her characters were either professional women like secretaries (and nurses) or smart-alecky commoners, which brings me to yet another of her staples – the housekeeper. The movies that come to mind where she plays a domestic are Roy Del Ruth’s On Moonlight Bay (1951) and its sequel, David Butler’s By the Light of the Silvery Moon (1953). These delightful family musicals feature Leon Ames, Rosemary De Camp, Billy Gray and Doris Day who make up the Winfield family and Mary Wickes as their maid, Stella. Gordon MacRae also stars in both as William Sherman who falls in love with Doris’ Marjorie. You must take a look at the trailer for By the Light of the Silvery Moon because it features Mary as Stella breaking the fourth wall to explain the movie’s plot. These movies are as sweet as candy and I absolutely love the cast, but it’s Wickes I look most forward to even though her friend George S. Kaufman had written her from New York urging her to return to do stage work. Of On Moonlight Bay Mr. Kaufman said, “you’re too good for that sort of thing.” That’s probably true, but it’s what we have of Mary Wickes and if Kaufman doesn’t mind I will celebrate it by mentioning one of my favorite lines in either movie, which comes early in On Moonlight Bay. Stella is complaining to Mr. Winfield that the kitchen is too big and it tires her out so in pure Wickes style she says, “I’m bein’ paid to be a cook, not a cross-country runner!”

The Winfield’s maid, Stella always has something to complain about

I think of Mary Wickes’ movie career as made up of many special moments as is the case with many of our favorite character actors. After all these actors didn’t star in their own movies. And like the best of ’em Mary had a lot stored in her talent cannon. For instance, her physical prowess was unique. She said a lot with her eyes, used her hands beautifully to emphasize eccentricity and her lanky frame allowed for more than a few memorable slapstick moments on film. It was her timing, however, that made her a standout like Eve Arden, Thelma Ritter and a few other top-notch actors of the supporting kind. If you want to check out a few of Mary Wickes’ other movies, you might try Edward Cline’s fun put-on-a-show Private Buckaroo (1942) or Erle C. Kenton’s Who Done It? (1942) with Abbott and Costello. Then there’s Michael Curtiz’s White Christmas (1954) in which she plays housekeeper Emma, one of her most enduring roles. She portrayed another Emma in George Cukor’s The Actress (1953) and you might also like her portrayal of “Pick-a-little lady” in Morton DaCosta’s The Music Man (1962). And…and…there are simply too many.

Abbott and Costello meet Mary Wickes in Who Done It?

If none of those make you slap happy you can also enjoy another of Mary’s famous on-screen depictions – the nun – in Ida Lupino’s The Trouble with Angels (1966) and its sequel, James Neilson’s Where Angels Go Trouble Follows! (1968), both starring Rosalind Russell. I assure you Mary’s religious types are as fun as her nurses and maids. Three decades after the movies with Russell in which she played Sister Clarissa Mary enjoyed a career resurgence as Sister Mary Lazarus in the hugely popular Sister Act (1992) and its sequel, Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993). By that point Wicks was in the seventh decade of her career and her timing was still on target.

As Sister Clarissa

As Sister Mary Lazarus

The more mature Mary Wickes also portrayed the cranky old relative role to perfection. She did so in Mike Nichols’ Postcards from the Edge (1990), which broke a dry spell for the veteran actor who hadn’t been offered feature parts for quite some time. Mary’s work on television never ceased, but movie parts were few and far between after her appearance in the Angels movies. It’s nice to know that the 1990s were good to her. Following Edge and the Sister Act movies she played Aunt March in Gillian Armstrong’s Little Women (1994). Her final movie performance was as the voice of the gargoyle Laverne in the Disney animated feature, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996) and her final performance on television was as the voice of Grandma in the animated series Life with Louie.

I’ve left the discussion of Mary Wickes’ career on television for last because it’s how I first met her. Also, it brings this full circle since I began this Wickes journey with a mention of The Gertrude Berg Show, which is highly recommended. Mary received her only award nomination for Outstanding Performance in a Supporting Role by an Actress for her work in that show. She didn’t win the award, but she makes me laugh like all heck and so she has my heart. Her reactions and comebacks are priceless at every turn.

Mary made her acting television debut as Mary Poppins in a 1949 episode of the anthology series, Studio One in Hollywood. Yes, she was the original Poppins anywhere at any time!

As Mary Poppins

From then on Wickes’ TV roles never stopped. She was a regular on such notables as Make Room for Daddy, Zorro, Julia, The Jimmy Stewart Show, Doc and Father Dowling Mysteries. She also had a recurring role on Dennis the Menace, which I’ve been watching lately and in which Mary Wickes is a hoot. Mary plays Miss Esther Cathcart, a single woman out to get a man at all costs. Miss Cathcart often uses Dennis in her schemes to hilarious effect. So far my favorite moments on the show are when Miss Cathhart sings, which she does to impress, but which results in broken mirrors, barking dogs and the like. If you have an extra moment be sure to check out Miss Cathcart’s rendition of “Love’s Old Sweet Song.” She really had such ease with comedy and clearly did anything asked of her with aplomb.

As a guest Mary Wickes appeared in every type of show imaginable from variety to mystery to everything in between. I can only mention a few standouts. When Gloria Swanson kicked off her The Gloria Swanson Hour she asked Mary Wickes to be her very first guest. Mary also guested on two episodes of Alfred Hitchcock Presents in 1956, the first of which, “The Baby Sitter,” directed by Robert Stevens is quite special. The episode stars Thelma Ritter as a baby sitter who gets involved in a murder. I wouldn’t say the story here is particularly noteworthy, but watching two of the premier character actors of the last century together is a thrill for film geeks like me, not to mention appropriate for this blogathon event. It’s Ritter and Wickes for crissakes.

Ritter and Wickes in “The Baby Sitter” Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode

One of my favorite of Mary Wickes’ TV guest spots was her small but hilarious part as the second murder victim’s landlady in Columbo “Suitable for Framing.” Her exchange with the Lt. alone is worth several admission prices. In this episode Wickes’ talent for playing characters that danced to their own beat so they easily carry on their own conversations despite who else might have been talking to them is in full bloom. If that sentence didn’t make sense, then good. This picture says it all…

Peter Falk with Mary Wickes in “Suitable for Framing”

I have to stop talking about Ms. Wickes at some point so it might as well be with a mention of Mary and Lucy. As most of you probably know Lucille Ball and Mary Wickes were close friends. Among Mary’s effects at Washington University are several letters from Lucy and Lucie Arnaz refers to Mary as family. I get a bit of the chills thinking about the two legendary comediennes laughing together behind the scenes, telling each other secrets and comforting each other as friends do.

Lucy and Mary were also frequent co-stars. Everyone remembers the classic first season episode of I Love Lucy, “The Ballet” with Mary playing the part of a ballet teacher, Madame Lamond. The episode begins in familiar fashion – Ricky is working on a show and needs a ballet dancer and Lucy tries to convince him she is a ballet dancer. In order to hone her skills Lucy goes to see Madame Lamond, the French premiere ballerina who is staging Ricky’s number. Lucy also tells Madame Lamond that she’s experienced. You know how well that turns out. But the important thing are the laughs and there are plenty of them here thanks to Lucy’s hijinks and Mary’s unforgettable reactions and her affected French accent.

“The Ballet” with Lucy and Mary doing what they did best

Mary only appeared in that one episode of I Love Lucy, but she appeared regularly in both of Lucille’s subsequent shows, The Lucy Show and Here’s Lucy. Wickes made a total of seventeen appearances on both shows always as different characters. You’ll be happy to know that a few were nurses, a few were maids, a few were nuns and one was named Mrs. Wickenhauser.

Mary Wickes knew that she excelled at comedy, which she called “very serious business.” And she loved what she did, which makes her story a particularly happy one. There were times when the going was a bit tougher than other times, but she worked most of her career because her talent was recognized as indispensable. When Mary gave her speech at Washington University she was 77 years old and ended the speech by paraphrasing St. Augustine in charming and endearing fashion. She said, “He said, ‘give me chastity and continence, O Lord, but not yet.’ And me – ‘I want rest, retirement, and quiet, O Lord, but not yet. And maybe never.”’

Mary Wickes, What a Character!

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The great Ms. Wickes is my choice for this year’s What a Character! Blogathon, which I am co-hosting with pals Kelly Pratt and Paula Guthat. Be sure to visit all three days of entries.

Day 1 at Outspoken & Freckled

Day 2 at Once Upon a Screen

Day 3 at Paula’s Cinema Club (still to come)

  For more about the incomparable Mary Wickes visit:

Mary Wickes: Her Life and Legacy at Washington University in St. Louis

Mary Wickes: I Know I’ve Seen That Face Before by Steve Taravella

It’s important that you are aware of how seriously I take research on this blog. As part of my ceaseless efforts I tweeted Whoopi Goldberg and asked about her experience working with Mary Wickes in the Sister Act movies. Ms. Goldberg never responded, but that’s the kind of dedication I’m talking about.

  Mary Wickes, WHAT A CHARACTER! During last year’s Christmas break, which happened to be just days after the What a Character! Blogathon, I settled in to watch episodes of T…

[broadwaybydesign]

Lady in Red: Linda Cho’s “Anastasia” Pièce de Résistance

I was going to wait a little bit before doing a piece on one specific outfit, especially since I’ve blogged about it a couple times, but inspiration has struck and I want to try and go in-depth on one of my absolute favorite costumes of the 2016-2017 season today.

As those who follow my other blog ( @overheardinwod ) already know, I am a huge fan of the musical Anastasia and have eagerly anticipated its debut for years. Linda Cho, in doing her research for the costumes for the stage musical, clearly took some inspiration from the 1997 animated Don Bluth classic upon which the musical is partially based, but instead of doing a shot-for-shot remake of Anya’s costumes, she chose to adapt them or create entirely new designs.

One of those designs is Anastasia’s Royal Red gown, sumptuously decorated with gold filigree, beadwork, and some of the most impressive gem work I have seen on Broadway this season. It’s a showstopping gown, and the one in which Christy Altomare took her very well-deserved bow on opening night, which is where many of the stills for this review have come from. Fortunately for me, this is an eye-catching gown, and so there are a lot of high-quality stills to choose from.

So, without further ado, let’s take a look at what I believe to truly be Linda Cho’s greatest accomplishment from the production:

(Photo credit: JustJared)

I’d be emotional in something this fine too, so I completely understand the expression on Christy Altomare’s face (okay, it’s because of the wild reception to her performance from the crowd, but I had to). The dress is absolutely fantastic on her figure, which is both petite and slender--in some ways, that made Linda Cho’s job designing a little easier because (while a bit on the short side), Christy Altomare has a “classical” figure for a leading lady on Broadway.

The dress itself is in two parts: a rust-red and gold brocade underskirt (presumably with some kind of corsetry or petticoats beneath to provide additional body), with an outer satiny, silky red body that is richly enhanced by gold filigree, beadwork, and truly impressive beadwork. At first glance, it positively screams royalty, even without the tiara (it’s not quite a kokoshnik this time because of the lack of a solid band!) on the head of the wearer. It’s a gown that is meant to impress the audience, not only in the scene but out in the crowd as observers of the musical. It has presence and helps to make Anastasia stand out in a positive way.

Look at the background of the scene (where this dress appears, even if this is a still from the bows). The scenery is a blend of black, white, and gray, and the other figured onstage are clad either in white or in much more muted colors. The bright, vibrant red of the outer portion of the dress and the bust are designed to command the attention of the viewer; they make clear that not only is Anastasia the central character here, she is the most important figure in the building. Even from a distance, one can see how important this costume is: it’s heavy, it’s rich, it’s colorful (and in shades not seen elsewhere in the musical), and it has body that gives it substance. But beyond all of that, the detail hops out even from afar.

From afar, we can see the patterning in rough form. The fold filigree forms a geometric, almost feather-like design on the gown, while the bust sports a pattern that should be familiar to students of Russian history: it’s an homage to the Romanovs’ double-headed eagle, a symbol of Imperial Russia, the Romanov family, and the empire itself. But while typically a quite masculine symbol, here it takes on an airier, more feminine tone as befits the character. Even in a heavy dress like this, the light touch with the gold means that we are reminded that this is a princess, with all the soft connotations that word tends to conjure in our minds.

Let’s go in a bit closer, with a Broadway.com still from Christy Altomare’s dressing room (which I also first saw on @anyasdimitry‘s blog):

Up close, it’s easy to see the sheer beauty and mastery of the detail work, and the lighting lets us look even closer. We see that Linda Cho has chosen to accent the dress not only with gold filigree detailing, but with beadwork and with gem work. The way the light falls in this image, we can see that the jewels are quite a bit darker than the outer gown, but also more bright and “pure” red than the brocade that forms the inner body of the gown. That is a clever and intentional design decision; whenever you are stacking colors atop one another, you need to find ways to distinguish them. Usually you will do that by one of two means: variations in shade, or variations in texture. Linda Cho has taken both options here: she varied the texture of the brocade, silk or satin, and jewels, all the while finding complementary but quite different shades of red.

By having darker jewels on the dress, I noted earlier that there is an almost fiery effect. The jewels allow the dress to shimmer, looking like “sparks” over the more sustained flame of the satin surface of the outer body. It also means that the light will never catch on the dress the same way twice. Remember that jewels, when of a high quality (and while almost certainly rhinestones here, they will be of unmatched quality for a first-run Broadway production), jewels refract light and offer a little bit of “glow” when used in costumery.

For a better idea, Playbill provides us with a shot of Anastasia’s gown from the rear (I believe this still is from the Hartford production, but the gown itself did not change between tryouts and Broadway as near as I have been able to discern from my research):

Take a look at the sparkle and shine of the jewels on the bustle (which is the term generally used for the part of the rear of the dress that pops out a bit, offering a contrast to a woman’s bust in the front; traditionally this provided her with a bit more “personal space” on a ballroom floor, as well as flattered her figure). The darkness compared with the rich red color of the fabric gives the gown a whole new feel: the light catching on the stones almost gives a crackling effect. The gold filigree, in some ways, even takes a backseat to the interplay between the jewels and the fabric of the dress itself--but it also provides a contrast that is important.

There’s more than just color-matching at work here. Balancing a primary color with a metallic color has been a standard practice in design since the age of heraldry; colors (red, blue, yellow, and combinations thereof) and metals (gold and silver) could be mixed, but you always wanted to have a buffer between them, especially when using two different shades of the same color or tones of the same metal. Linda Cho has obeyed that relatively ancient rule by surrounding the ruby-red jewels with the gold filigree. In so doing, the jewels “pop” more and become much more noticeable than if they had merely been laid against the red body of the gown.

Another Broadway.com still offers us a better example of just how well this design works, this time as Ms Altomare emerges offstage:

Once again, we’re able to see the balance of the red tones from the brocade (the V-shape at the bottom of the frame), the silk/satin of the gown itself, and the jewels. In this light, the jewels on the bodice/bust appear dark and rich, almost crimson in color and tone, while those on the body of the dress, flaring out to the sides, are a lighter color that is just a bit offset from the red of the fabric beneath. This is one of the two images I have seen of this dress that really made me think of the phoenix idea I mentioned in another post. The other comes from my all-time favorite picture of the dress, from the New York Post’s “Page Six” blog:

Take these two previous pictures together and you can see some of what I mean by phoenix-like. The myth of the phoenix is that it is an immortal bird which ends its life in a bright explosion of flame and color, only to rise from the ashes reborn; it’s a classic mythological trope and one that I can’t help but think Linda Cho was trying to harness in this gown. Recall what I said earlier about the design elements of the gown: on the body of the dress, we see the almost feather-like filigree and jewel-work (accented with some gold beadwork), while the bust is covered with an homage to the Romanov double-headed eagle.

Doesn’t it look a tiny bit like the eagle has “shed” the feathers that float down the sides of the gown? Look at the way the eagle design “drips” down towards the open seam that reveals the brocade, jewels in every inch of the “tail.” To my mind, it’s a little like a phoenix that has shed its old feathers, burst into flame, and risen again up the bust of the gown as a new being. In many ways, that’s a great metaphor for Anastasia herself: she had an identity as the Grand Duchess, lost it, found it again, and then decided to renounce it in favor of another identity. Like the mythical firebird, she undergoes a cycle of birth and renewal over and over throughout the course of the musical.

I don’t know for certain that this is the effect Linda Cho was trying to harness with this gown, but it certainly seems plausible given how richly designed it is and how keen an eye for detail she possesses as a costume designer. This dress is rightfully the showpiece of the end of the musical, and the one that is designed to leave the audience with a key visual to take away from their enjoyment of the performance. It’s rich, heavy, and gorgeous from bust to floor and all points in between, and sits perfectly on the wearer.

Simply put, this is Linda Cho’s 2016-2017 pièce de résistance, a masterwork to end all masterworks, and one that deserves to be studied by fans of classic and modern design, the theatre, and the way in which these art forms intersect. It’s a joy to look at and a joy to analyze.

And that’s what costumery is about: bringing a sense of emotion and wonder to the viewer to complement their feelings regarding the performance onstage. In that regard, the royal red gown from Anastasia is a complete and total success.