#i know my mom was likely stressed and feeling upset bc she couldn't get everyone a ton of gifts

[lunarscaled]

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!! 🎄🎁

[1shimaru]

gonna just explain my whole day bc I can't get this ugly gut feeling out if I don't >>)

Some Good things that happened before I start, just to balance out the vibes: musical was good! chatted with the bestie a bit, eyeliner was nice, wore a p good outfit w a new shirt I bought, got a new ironing board and other stuff I needed to refill

me and my sib get into a fight in the car re:schedules

parents get into the car with ✨sudden new plans✨

everyone's talking at once, it's terrible + overwhelming, nobody knows what's going on

drop off sib at home, other sib bails, I'm the only one left to go to the ✨sudden new plan✨

as we drive to the location, I'm asked what happened with sib

parents get upset about sib, cut me off mid-story, and drive wildly

(imo the reaction was super unecessary, at least for the amount of story I got through)

~at the ✨sudden new plans✨ Location :/~

have a VERY mini break down in the bathroom bc they'd rather get upset at sib than listen to me? or let me express my frustration ig?? idrk what I wanted tbh

eat lunch quietly, listen to Divorced Dad Songs Playlist bc I'm feeling angsty 😷😷

mom is getting upset with HER sib, which gives her a stomach ache from the stress

after lunch, mom INSISTS on getting gas and going to the store while she is AUDIBLY in pain???

while we get gas, we have a bit of casual conversation, but then she cuts me off for something totally unimportant

"Do you want me to talk at all today?"

"ok [name], you can talk. go ahead."

the connection is gone, I try not to talk to her the rest of the day

~We drop off my mom at home, and leave the house to cool off from everything, returning at dinner time~

after settling in, I watch a musical!! :D

I wear my headphones so my sibs don't get annoyed by my content (I always do this)

I try to keep my reactions to a minimum/quiet, because last night I scared them with a loud gasp...

One particular moment got me out of my chair!! This moment warrants me pausing the media and expressing happiness to my siblings!! I would love to shout it to the rooftops kind of excitement!

Unfortunately, I was too Loud in expressing my Joy, and couldn't hear that I was being Annoying with my Excitement :'((((

When I talk to them, they look at me with a dull, annoyed expression

I realize nobody wants to hear about my Exciting Musical News :///

"I'll just sit back down"

"No, go, talk."

the connection is gone, I don't want to anymore, but it'll make it worse if I make a big deal out of it, so I explain quickly and try to get back to the video

It's hard to focus/enjoy watching now. I wish I could go on a walk, but it's 9pm

Basically it's like, damn nobody wants to hear me talk today 😭😭

tacking on a rant:

but hate hate it (specifically at the end of the day) when I'm actively trying to be small!! in my own home!! and *i* don't get to express fun!! my sibs get to have their music playing out loud at all times!! why is it bad when *i* make noise!! why bad for [aaron]!! why is [aaron] at fault!! how is that fair!! rrghhh it's like, only the GOOD noises, THEIR noises, are ok, it's SO important that we see THEIR noises FIRST. i'm wailing here!!!

[falcqns]

so beautiful to me

pairing: baby daddy!Chris Evans x Mom!Reader

summary: despite being broken up and coparenting, Chris still want to show you how much he loves you.

warnings: 18+ ONLY! Smut, fingering, oral (f receiving), angst, fluff.

a/n: kind of like the chris version of Harper?? idk?? based of my night with my baby daddy bc he’s been trying to win me back and it’s working 😭🥺 hope you enjoy!

you’d had a rough day. you'd had to take over jobs that weren't yours at work, you got into a fight with your best friend because you couldn't go out tonight, and your most recent date had been awful because you "weren't up to the guys standards." you were done with everyone and everything, and on top of that, you had to hand your daughter over to her father for the weekend.

Chris could tell something was off from the moment he opened the door. you looked on the verge of tears, and he knew passing little May off definitely wasn’t helping.

he pulled you inside with him, and he took May from your arms. she was set on the ground, and was immediately greeted by Dodger. he wrapped his arms around you, and waited. sure enough, he felt wet tears soak his shirt a few seconds later, and he stood firm, holding you in the hug he knew you desperately needed.

“are you okay?” he asked, and you shook your head.

“i’ve had a god awful day and on top of that i have to leave her for the weekend. i’m not saying that you don’t deserve to have her because you do and you’re an amazing father i just wish-“ you started, but was cut off when Chris picked May up and led you and her into the living room.

“stay here. i’m sure May would love to have both her parents in one place for a few days,” he reasoned and you nodded.

“thank you.” you whispered, and Chris lifted your chin with his fingers. “you’re welcome.” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. you felt a warmth spread through your body, and a pull you hadn’t felt in months, a pull to be held and loved by him.

Chris seemed to feel it too, and he pulled you back into a hug, his hands tangling in your hair. you inhaled the familiar and homey scent of Chris, and felt all you stress melt away.

after a few minutes, May became impatient and hungry, and you two pulled apart. he told you to sit on the couch with May and watch tv while he made dinner.

you could see in the reflection of the glass that Chris would glance over at the two of you with a smile while he cooked, and it made you hopeful.

you didn’t want to get your hopes up, and everything turn bad once more, but you still loved him. you’d never denied that, even through the breakup, but you both thought it would be better if you were split up.

he called you to the dinner table, and you gasped when you saw he made your favourite dinner with your favourite side dishes. you felt your cheeks heat up when he wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed a kiss to your cheek before lifting May into her high chair.

you guys sat down to eat, and he asked you what's wrong.

you shrugged. "just a rough day at work," you lied. he looked like he didn't believe it, but didn't push.

"anything I can do to help?" he asked. you shook your head.

you loved that about him. he could tell when you needed him to fix something completely or when you just needed advice, or even when you just needed someone to comfort you and listen.

you watched in amazement as he told you to go relax, and he cleaned up dinner. you took May into the living room and turned on a show. you dozed off a little while later, and when you woke up, the living room was dark, and you could hear Chris upstairs.

he came down. few minutes later, and smiled when he realized you were awake. you looked around for your daughter, and your heart rate sped up when you realized that she wasn't there.

"where's May?" you asked, and Chris walked over, and held his hand out for you. "she's been bathed and put to bed. she's snoozing away with Dodger right now." he said as he helped you up, and wrapped his arms around you.

"lets go to bed, okay?" he suggested, and you nodded, leaning into him a little bit. "okay," you whispered out, and Chris smiled into your hair.

he led you up the stairs and into the familiar bedroom. you didn't have any clothes so Chris gave you one of his shirts to wear. you'd just walked into the bathroom when you realized that you didn't have any toiletries. Chris walked back in and smiled when he saw your confused face.

"here," he said, and led you over to one of the drawers. when you opened it, it was full of all your toiletries. "I always keep some of yours here just in case you need them," he said, and you blinked, and realized you had tears in your eyes. you turned to face him and his brows furrowed in confusion.

you threw your hands around his neck and sobbed into his chest. "t-thank you," you sobbed out, and Chris chuckled, before wrapping his arms around you to soothe you. he lifted you up, and sat you on the counter, before pulling away slightly, and making eye contact with you.

"what's really going on?" he asked in a soft voice, his thumbs rubbing the tear soaked skin of your cheeks.

your chin trembled, and you finally told him what was wrong. when you got to the part about 'not being up to your dates standards', he scoffed.

his eyes drifted down to your lips, and stayed locked there while he spoke. "that's insane. you're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. even when you were crying and cursing me out during labor," you laughed at that. "you were still the most beautiful girl in the world to me. you still are, and you always will be." he said, and nudged your nose with his, giving you butterfly kisses.

"I know we're not together anymore, but I still love you. so so much. if you let me, I'll show you how truly beautiful I find you. would you let me?" he whispered, his eyes still locked on your lips.

your breathing became heavier. you didn't exactly know what he meant by 'showing how truly beautiful he finds you,' but you were eager to find out, no matter what it ended up being. you looked up at him and nodded. a smirk spread on his luscious lips, and he bent down and pressed his against yours.

you moaned into the kiss, and Chris's hands traveled from your face, down your sides, and onto your thighs. he gripped your body, and lifted you up. he carried you into his room, and laid you on his bed, all without breaking the kiss.

once your back touched the bed, he hovered over you, and broke the kiss for only a moment. he turned his face slightly, and pressed his lips back to yours, his tongue sliding over yours. his lips left your mouth, and left a trail of wet kissed down your neck, that caused you to arch your back and moan. as he reached the top of your (his) shirt, and stopped and crouched in between your legs.

he lifted them over his shoulder, and pressed wet kisses to the baby soft skin he found there, not breaking eye contact with you.

"let me make you feel good?" he asked, and you nodded, your breaths quickening. he smiled, and pressed kisses from your knee up until his nose reached the soaked fabric of your underwear. he pressed a kiss to your centre, and smiled when you squirmed above him.

he looped his fingers into the elastic of your underwear, and pulled them down your legs. when he made eye contact with you again, his eyes were darkened with lust. he pressed kissed up your slit before his lips attached themselves to your clit and you grasped his head with a cry.

“fuck!” you exclaimed, your legs falling slack as he continued his attack on your pussy. you felt one of his fingers pressing at your entranced, before sliding in. he rubbed your walls with his finger before sliding another in. once your body was used to it, he arched his fingers up and rubbed your g spot.

you cried out as he pulled orgasm after orgasm out of you that night. you lose count after 3, and eventually passed out from the sheer force of your last one.

when you woke up the next morning, you were curled up in Chris's arms, your head on his chest. you moved slightly to get a good look at his face, and your shuffling woke him up.

he gave you a smile, and you returned it.

"I've missed waking up like this." you said, and Chris nodded in agreement.

"so have i. I've missed you so much, I just didn't know how much until I saw how upset you were last night." he said, and you snuggled in closer to him, relishing in the quiet morning before May would wake up.

"thank you for making me feel better." you said, and you pressed a kiss to his lips. Chris deepened the kiss, and rolled you on your back.

he broke the kiss and looked in your eyes. "I can do it again if you promise you'll give us a second chance,"

you smiled as warmth spread through your belly at his words. "of course. I love you too much to let you go again."

taglist:

all:

@kpopgirlbtssvt @nerdypinupcrystal @sohoseb

@bieberhoodforever @est19xxshit

Chris Evans:

@anna-bailey @talksoprettyjjx

[msookyspooky]

maybe later on we could have a better look into billy's psychosis?

i would never survive this cause my psychosis makes me so paranoid sometimes i cannot leave my house. if someone so much as hinted anyone as the killer it would be game over, i can't sleep, i think everything is poisoned and im convinced im always being followed. i can recognise when it's a delusion normally but that doesn't make it any less real. if you tell someone with psychosis that there hallucinations/delusions are not real it's very bad, it's like if someone told you that the sky doesn't exist.

a thing with my psychosis that i would like to think billy experiences is forgetting. i don't want him to be in distress but i would quite like some representation because i want to relate to him more. if someone has hurt me or made me upset sometimes i will just forget. i will associate them with pain but i won't remember what they have done, it really sucks. i most likely remember after a while though. it just feels invalidating and i think that i did something. sometimes i have an episode or really bad anger and my coping is pretty self destructive.

if you don't think it's right for his character or this didn't make sense then ignore me. i hope you are doing well, i love your writing. <3

Sorry, I've had such a busy week! Grandpa in the hospital with pneumonia, driving 30 min away twice a day everyday to take care of his pets, family friend has uterine cancer and my mom is driving her to her surgery and were both helping her out at home this week and weirdly enough my great uncle had been battling cancer for 5 years (Terminal. He's on his death bed basically. He only weighs 95 lbs now.) and has medical psychosis now.

His body has been through so much that one day his mind just snapped for lack of a better word. He walked in the hospital fine and completely his regular self before a surgery and then within an hour of waiting he started screaming and thrashing that he was in a bus and kids were going to get ran over. It scared my aunt to death bc he wasn't my uncle in that moment and none of us have ever seen him like that before. He's home and doing much better. He knows who you are has complete clarity but he is absolutely terrified now of my aunt leaving his side 💔 He got so angry and scared when she left and one of us watched him in her place (He can't hardly walk) but yet that day he made all these appointments and paid bills before my aunt even got up and made a ton of phone calls he just doesn't want her to ever leave...Ik I shouldn't laugh but I gotta find something to laugh about in this situation and he was talking to us calm as can be on the phone and just casually mentioned. "Yeah, ya know she has me in a box underground, right? These fucking abortion nurses are stealing fetuses and they got me locked in a god damn box bc they couldn't steal mine."

...We just rolled with it but omfg I'm glad we know he has psychosis rn bc I can't imagine a stranger calling me and telling me that 🥴☠️ I just have to laugh and so did my aunt bc she's so defeated and tired seeing him like that and taking care of him that we have to find some humor in this especially since he's not scared about it just not connecting certain dots and he only gets scared when she leaves for groceries or anything like that bc that's when the paranoia sets in. And it's just disheartening to see him in this mental state sometimes

I know that psychosis is different in everyone and medical psychosis might not be the same as the psychosis you're dealing with and that there's varying levels and that most psychosis especially medical or stress can go away within time and on proper medication. Now, idk much about psychosis brought on by having other psychological disorders or if there are forms of psychosis that never goes away?? I'm more than eager to learn from your perspective bc I definitely hc Billy is my story as having psychosis similar to his future daughter Sam but he just won't admit it and that maybe it's lessened since his Mom's death or gotten worse; either way. Maybe both? Bc now I could see his paranoia heightening from cops, betrayal, etc.

Sadly tho, this story is from YN POV

I fully understand wanting to relate to him but I feel like that can be hard to do bc from not only who I've known irl with psychosis and what I'm trying to educate myself on is everyone's symptoms and degrees of the symptoms are different. Plus, it's hard to do with YN being the POV and the only canon mental issues she has is PTSD, Anxiety and probably High Functioning Depression from what she's went through (Of course anyone is free to add in their own to personalize the experience while reading) and people thought she had psychosis from Billy and Stu purposely trying to make her doubt herself as well as others doubt her in Windsor. So, that makes it hard to show Billy's POV in detail.

I'm sure tho later on a short story will come along the way and I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me your experience with psychosis so I can add it into Billy's character. 🖤🖤🖤

[sailorkamino]

being Steve's fem! best friend

relationship: platonic!Steve x reader

warnings: mentions of catcalling/assault (very brief), mental health

[gif not mine]

• when steve wakes up in 21st century you're one of the first people he meets

• you're the one who helps him with modeen technology/pop culture

• you were there for his outbursts when he got overwhelmed

• but also his excitement when he learnt something new

• he becomes like a brother to you

• a very protective brother

• you can tell he treats you differently but you think it's because he doesn't believe in you

• "do you think i'm weak, steve? is it because i'm a woman? because i guarentee i can kick your super soldier ass"

• "that's not it! i know how strong you are, y/n. i don't doubt you for a second"

• "then what is it?"

• "i've lost everyone. i can't lose you too"

• he's terrified that one day he won't be able to save you

• just like he couldn't save bucky

• (we all know bucky falling isn't steve's fault but he still blames himself)

• you're so sweet and kind but you have this fire inside

• a lot like pre serum steve

• you won't hesitate to do something dangerous and it causes steven s t r e s s

• but you point out that he is just as bad as you

• "how come one of us is always doing something reckless and the other one has to be mature? cant we just be smart at the same time?"

• y'all share one (1) braincell 🥰

• and he just thinks 'was i this stressful? how did bucky not kill me, i would have killed me'

• so he promises he'll be less reckless if you do too

• steve will just casually pick you up and carry you away whenever you try to start a fight

• "y/n! you're an avenger, you can't just beat up civilians"

• "he was trying to touch me"

• steve goes back and breaks the guys jaw

• since he's known as america's golden boy people don't expect him to have a temper

• he's usually very levelheaded but if someone he cares about is hurt/threatened...

• he turns into scrappy pre serum!steve real damn quick

• catcalls make him livid

• and you try to explain, "steve, i'm a woman. this happens all the time"

• and that makes him even more mad because "that doesn't make it ok!"

• a lot of casual cuddles and hugs

• at first the avengers would tease you and smirk because they thought you liked each other

• but you explained that cuddling helps steve relax and it's kind of theraputic for him

• when ever someone asks if you're dating he just automatically says "she's my sister"

• steve tries to hide his feelings because he thinks he has to be the strong leader

• he likes to tuck his head against your neck or chest when he gets upset and just let you hold him for a minute

• it reminds him of his mom

• he'll only cry in front of you and sam

• playing with his hair + forehead kisses always calms him down

• steve does the same for you if you're upset

• he'll scoop you up into his lap and hold you against his chest

• if you say you're too heavy he'll get so sassy

• "i'm captain america, i think i can handle you"

• a lot of cute nicknames

• sweetheart + doll are his go to's

• honey + darlin' for speical moments

• sugar + princess when he's teasing you or in a really good mood

• you usually just call him stevie

• the first time it happened in front of the team they all stopped and got huge smirks

• they started calling him stevie and he got all blushy and was like "no, only y/n can call me that"

• ofc when bucky joins the team he changes that rule to 'only y/n and buck' bc ya'll are his besties

• you two will cuddle on the couch as he goes through his list of movies/tv shows

• but one of you usually winds up falling asleep on the other

• you both have very stressful lives so when you get the chance to nap you gotta take it 🤷‍♀️

• and steve won't even be mad if you fall asleep during a movie because he knows you need it

• he'll just pull you closer against his chest and if anyone walks in he'll send them him his 'captain' face

• and they just slowly back out of the room

• steve is very strict about your health (physical and mental)

• he will always make sure you're taking care of yourself

• you roll your eyes and go "yes, mom"

• but it honestly makes you happy that he cares so much

• "hey, you been sleeping ok? how about i skip my meeting and we take a nap, i'm honestly kinda tired too"

• if you're sick/injured he gets so protective (even more than usual)

• you: *training when you're supposed to be resting*

• steve: *agressively carries you to your room and tucks you in*

• you wear his clothes because they're comfy + they smell good

• if he has to go to a fancy event you help him get ready

• can you imagine styling his hair and helping him with his tie 🥺

• in conclusion: you're family and steve would do anything for you <3

[honeyymistt]

hey honeyy! i just wanted to rant for a hot minute simply bc idk how to handle this situation; i'm 20, and will move out soon to go to uni (in october, presumably) and my parents will pay for rent and food, which is v nice of them. but despite their reassurances that they'll pay for it, they are so passive aggressive, especially my mom. she just straight up told me today that "enough is enough" and basically said i need to move out asap bc i'm such a burden on them financially + i'm so spoiled and dumb and don't know how to real world works and she does (which ugh,, not to brag but they're loaded and i feel so heartbroken bc as a child they would spoil us rotten), but now she just wants to kick me out. i know at 20, i'm long overdue for moving out — and i will, soon, in like 2 months — yet my mom acts as if she couldn't wait for me to leave (which, okay, fair. same tbh) but idk what she wants me to do about it rn?? like i'm looking for jobs & am in the process of applying to different jobs, but that's somehow a time consuming process. it's just v stressful bc i feel betrayed, bc they always told me i should focus on school instead of getting a job, and it's my fault for not thinking for myself, but now i have no money saved up and i'll probably work a minimum wage job for the rest of the year every month (and the next years, like my whole uni time which is a-okay, it just stresses me out a bit). i think you're younger than me, so maybe this is very out of line for me to complain to you about?? feel free to just delete this ask, but i wanted to ask if you have any advice on how to deal with "loveless" parents and a dysfunctional family, where respect is requested but you as 'their child' are not brought the same respect bc you're 20 and still living at home. it's sooo funny bc i'm so gullible; my mom used to tell me the exact opposite for years — ‘no, it's fine that you're still living at home with 19’ and now she holds it against me bc she moved out at 17. my dad is also v mentally unstable, he has anger issues and never sees that he behaved wrongly, basically gaslighting me into believing it's all my fault for everything's that happening to me when something goes wrong. idk how to deal w/ this, everyone in this household is toxic and i feel trapped, despite my plans to hustle on the side and earn my own money. i'm stupid for feeling betrayed, but that's how it feels like. i think my mom stopped loving me a long time ago, like until i was 11 she loved me, but then i grew up and developed my own opinions, character etc. i just hate her so much. same with my dad. i hate relying on them for rent though and idk what to do (😭ik, this is a very, very privileged standpoint but idk how to handle all this hate; it's been getting worse these past weeks) — sorry for the lang rant!! 😭✋ hope your life is going great, though <3 -💌

hiii 💌-anon!!! im happy to hear from you :) i’m sorry to hear you are having a hard time 🥺 i'm sending you a virtual hug. i hope it cheers you up! <3

it makes me sad to read that you think that you're long overdue for moving out because you really aren't!! where i live, a lot of people are living at home until they graduate from university (possibly because it is very expensive to live where i live and no 20 year old is able to afford it🥴) but anyways, i actually don't think you're long overdue for moving out. i know that there a bunch of YouTube videos titled "MOVING INTO MY DREAM APARTMENT AT 19!" and yes, it's such a milestone but it's also so unrealistic. YouTube and being an "influencer" in general, pays really really well. not a lot of people are able to do what is "normal" to them. you are right on track! don't worry :)

reading about your parents really made me upset because you don't deserve to be talked to like that at all. a good parent takes care of their kid because they love them. they don't guilt trip them and tell them that they are a financial burden or that they're excited for them to move out. like your mom offers to pay for your rent and food but then tells you that you're a financial burden ?? like ma'am, where is the logic in that 😐 i'm sorry that she makes you feel unloved,, you don't deserve that at all :( i hate that you feel like once you developed your own opinions and character, she started to dislike you. that's what makes you wonderful!! you're a beautiful person, inside and out. don't let her opinions and actions tell you otherwise.

as for not knowing how the real world works, literally same. to be completely honest, i'm probably worse than you 😭 . i think i wrote this in one of my posts about my insecurities but basically i wrote that i don't know anything beyond school. i feel like i've been working so hard on being the "perfect student" that i'm so book smart but when it comes to very basic life skills, i feel like i'm lacking. i feel like i'm unprepared. whenever i tell this to my mom, she tells me that it's okay and that it's her job to take care of me and provide for me. one time she said "you have a whole life ahead of you to learn about taxes and cleaning and bills and finances and cooking. just enjoy the time right now. enjoy your life where it is. you're going to learn all of these skills eventually. the best way to learn them is just to experience life and make mistakes." so listen to my mom and try not to worry!! no one is born knowing how the real world works. you're going to be okay!

i think when it comes to dealing with loveless parents, you make up for it through your other relationships. one of my friends doesn't have the best relationship with her parents and whenever i ask her about it she says, "it's sad that i don't have the love that most people get from their parents but i get so much love from you, my other friends, my boyfriend, my cousins, etc. i know that there are people who care for me. these people are my family." maybe you and your family just need time apart. maybe your absence will make them realize that they didn't really treat you all that well. or maybe you'll realize that you deserve a lot better and that you don't want to be in contact with people who make you feel badly about yourself. time apart will give you time to come to terms with what you need! 🤍 if i were you, i'd get really excited for moving out in october because you're going to be removing yourself from this environment. you won't have to deal with feeling like a burden or dealing with your parents being cold towards you. you're moving out!! this is exciting!!! i'm excited for you!! everything will align and fall perfectly into place, i just know it.

i'll be by your side every step of the way - packing, moving out, moving in, unpacking, and we'll experience the harsh reality of the real world together :) i'm right by your side 🥺🌟🍯🤍