#and also my sisters first Christmas living with my mom and away from home

[lunarscaled]

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!! 🎄🎁

[furybymoonlight]

See Me (Now) - Part I

Pairing: Trent Alexander Arnold x OC/Reader

Warning/Genre: Age Gap (3 years), Angst, Suggestive Theme, Smut (not yet on this chapter tho’), friends to lovers

Part II

Part III (final)

***

“You’re not my sister.”

“Pfft how dare you? I’ve known you since forever. The least I deserve is to be your honorary si-”

“No, you’re not.”

He cut her off, his stare was sharp, but then it softened as he cupped one side of her face.

“You can’t be…in order for me to be able to do…this.”

Then his mouth was on hers and her mind short circuited.

***

She didn’t know exactly when things started to change.

Their parents had been friends since a long time, so they had known each other for almost as long as she could remember. She first met him when she was nearing six, and he was barely three. His parents were visiting her house for a brunch with him in tow.

She remembered his beautiful doe eyes, in the shade of dark coffee, gazing up at her with a shy smile tugged on his lips.

“Hi Trent, do you want to play with me?”

She smiled and asked the small boy. Her mom had told her the boy’s name that morning and that she should make friends with him.

“Sure!”

His eyes twinkled as she grabbed his smaller hand and led him to her corner at the living room, where she stored her toys and games. Trent ended up as her first living guest in her royal tea party. He refused to wear a crown, but she reckoned he was a much better guest since he was way more interactive than her plush dolls.

They played together almost every weekend. Being older than Trent, she viewed him then as a little brother. They had less playing time when he joined the local football academy but still saw each other often since his parents often invited her family to his football matches, among other things.

She was close to his other brothers as well, but her bond with Trent was tighter. As they got older, they saw less of each other but kept in touch through texts and social media. She went abroad for university as he continued to rise as a football prodigy. Still, they spoke frequently about anything. She told him about her challenges being away from home. She shared his laughter and his heartbreak as he surfed on the top league.

It was almost Christmas, and she was back home for the first time in almost two years, finding her cozy yet modest-sized home filled with people. Her parents had thrown a welcome back party for her in conjunction with friends and family Christmas gathering.

She was swarmed by hugs and questions from all sides. She hugged them back and talked with them, finding the need to take a breather after a while. Her parents were high on the extrovert scale. Her? She was not a recluse by any means, but she found that she needed some quiet moments when dealing with crowds.

Slipping away from the crowds, she had just taken a few steps up the stairs when she slipped, unaware of several car toys scattered around. A yelp left her mouth as she braced for her fall, but it never came. She felt a broad chest cushioned her back as a pair of strong arms enveloping her.

“Careful…”

The masculine voice was so familiar, and she turned around straight away to hug her savior, who also wrapped his arms around her.

“Trent! Oh my God, I missed you! How – whoa, you’re way taller than me now. Do you not stop growing?”

She said as she took in his height. The man just chuckled, looking effortlessly good in a pair of dark jeans and beige sweater.

“Can’t be shorter than you forever, can I?”

His warm chocolate eyes looked at her teasingly. She shook her head, smiling.

“Guess not, and look at yourself now, our very own world-famous footballer. I am such a proud sister!”

Just like that, amusement left his eyes, and he took a step away from her. Tension radiated from his handsome face.

“Trent? What’s wrong?”

“You’re not my sister.”

“Pfft how dare you? I’ve known you since forever. The least I deserve is to be your honorary si-”

“No, you’re not.”

He cut her off, his stare was sharp, but then it softened as he cupped one side of her face.

“You can’t be…in order for me to be able to do…this.”

Then his mouth was on hers and her mind short circuited. Because Trent was kissing her, plump lips moving against her frozen ones. Trent.was.kissing.her and she would have to plead for temporary insanity because at some point of time, she closed her eyes and found herself kissing him back.

Her lips parted slowly to welcome him then he drowned her even more. He tasted like a mixture of coffee, cinnamon, and a hint of spiciness that she couldn’t quite put a name on. He whispered her name between kisses, then pressed her smaller frame against the side wall, carrying on wreaking havoc on her senses. Her lungs burned, but she didn’t have the will to take a breath. All she wanted was more, perhaps so much more.

The sound of muffled yet loud laughter brought her back to reality, reminding her where she was and she pushed him back, or rather he also stepped away. Breathless, she just stared at the younger man, eyes rounded in shock of what just transpired between them.

She opened her mouth, but the fire in his eyes made her lost her words. Then she heard footsteps coming towards them and without even thinking, she ran to her room in a speed that would make even an Olympic athlete proud.

Leaning on the back side of the door, she sighed and closed her eyes, body temperature still running high.

What in the hell just happened?

Author's Note I've been holding myself back not to get sucked into what I called a Trentnado because God knows I have so much to do, but after he posted those summer pics, just had to write..something. Anyway, first ever Trent story. Apology for errors as I’m not a native.

[vegaseatsass]

Rewatched My Stand-In eps 2 and 3 tonight, and I'm definitely newly fascinated with Ming POV/Ming's internal concept of what was happening between him and Joe that entire time. I forgot just how much we got of Ming's home life and family in episode 2, and my brain is abuzz trying to connect all the dots. His relationship with May is so interesting. She clocks that he and Joe are together on Christmas, and is immediately careful to conceal it not just from their parents but from Tong. May and Ming have this "us against the world" vibe where they protect and cover for each other, going back to May giving herself pneumonia saving Ming from drowning. I absolutely believe there's more going on in their family than mom pressuring Ming to marry women any time he goes home - I actually suspect things about his family are being obscured for future painful reveals - but May is a safe space for him. Until Tong is added into the picture, and Ming has to flee the country for four years to get away from his big feelings. It's just kind of bonkers to me that he had this intense, safe and presumably very grounding relationship with his sister, but made his obsession with a random movie star the centerpiece of his world instead. Why did he imprint on Tong? Is it really just Joe's sexy back muscles that drew him in? Did he think if he could land a famous movie star his parents would accept him being with a man? Was it subconscious self-sabotage of his only safe relationship lol? I genuinely have no idea!! What I am stuck on though is when he told May he was working through something, and would tell her when he was ready, but he promised he'd get through it. On rewatch, it seems very obvious that what he's talking about is the torch he's carrying for Tong, so to me that's a reveal that he's deliberately trying to move on with Joe - not using him as a sex doll replacement, but throwing himself into something real. (What's messy obviously is that Ming started this for the proxyfucking, but I think overhearing Joe confess his love for Ming to Sol is when Ming started making a determined effort to choose Joe.) There's also his reaction to Joe's Christmas gift where the watch becomes a metaphor for Joe himself (vs. Tong): Ming doesn't need the "top" one, why can't he want the "normal" one?

The first time I was watching this, I assumed that Ming just has no internal awareness of how important Joe is to him, he just feels pure need and acts very very normal when his emotional support stand-in is ripped away. I assumed Ming believes he's in love with Tong and thinks he's just passing some time with Joe. It doesn't help that every time Joe presses him on anything emotional Ming shuts him down or outright negs him lolllll

But like for example, in the scene where they're shopping together and Joe gets excited about the couple mugs, first Ming snaps "What makes you think we're a couple?", then he tries to mitigate his slip by playing it off: "after living with me, you'll realize you don't want me as a boyfriend." His kneejerk impulse to shut Joe down and say cruel things is imo a defense mechanism, a really maladaptive one that helps convince Joe later on that there was never any love there, but I'm starting to think it's triggered in response to actually wanting the intimacy and primacy that Joe is pushing for, and being terrified of that.

It would make so much sense for somebody who is terrified of needing anybody else, of being vulnerable or feeling anything real, to decide they're in love with a complete asshole movie star who uses their family for money and them personally for favors, and shape their life around that. Especially now that I understand how young Ming was when he first fixated on Tong (17ish??), I just feel like that entire imprinting is your classic teenager-who-is-not-ready-to-be-in-a-real-relationship parasocial spiral. I used to do it with male celebrities too!!! (I am a lesbian. lmfaooo)

It's interesting because while there's something conceptually romantic about the back Ming first got obsessed with being Joe's all along, it ultimately doesn't really matter to me WHO the onscreen person that he fixated upon was. What matters is how ill-equipped Ming has proven to handle real feelings for a real person in front of him, and the journey he has from here to learn how to human. I can't wait. P.S. Other thing I forgot happened in episode 2: - Ming made drunk!Joe sleep on the floor of Joe's own home - BEFORE Ming moved in or had any claim to the space - AFTER Ming told Sol he would take "really really good care of Joe" as a way of trying to claim Joe in front of the competition His journey to human is going to be a loooooooooooooooooong one, methinks... 😈

[deblklesb]

[Phantoms of Past — Abby x Reader]

[AFAB!reader, friends to lovers, Christmas themed, br!reader, angsty, MDNI]

a/n: well, is this late for Christmas? yes. but do i care? also yes bc i'm paranoid and have some need to make stuff on time, so imagine my despair when i couldn't finish this. but i ALSO know that I'm doing my best, and for that i have to pat my own back. anyway, this is for my brazilian besties out there!!!

cw: reader is brazilian, usage of phrases in pt-br with the translation after and between parenthesis, owen mentioned (this man is a cw by himself idc this is not a owen appreciated blog), mutual pinning, Abby understands portuguese and even talks some. let me know if i forgot something.

not proof read | word count: 3,274

reblogs are highly appreciated!!

While you drive through the recently cleaned streets of the neighborhood you grew up, thanking the heavens that it stopped snowing for now, the radio plays a seasonal song and your murmur along. The traffic on the main roads were chaotic, almost as congested as your uncle's arteries, but now the decorated rooftops and doorsteps replaced the headlights on your peripheral vision. In front of a house stood a snowman, or at least his body stripped of arms and face.

You park in front of a house with simple adornments and flashers around the main door, a LED deer standing next to it and a small table with fake cookies and milk on top. All the energy was so reminiscent of the years you'd spend a whole day decorating the house with your mom, mainly inside, just so your father and sister could take care of the outside. Now that you both were grown and away, the couple occupied itself with the house interior and resumed the exterior with a simple approach. It never failed to take a smile from you, though, especially seeing the way they would adhere to simple things just because it looked cute, even if it had nothing to do with their native traditions.

Coming from Brasil, for the first part of your life you had hot weather and sunny days on Christmas. Maybe a night of rain, but never snow. Fireworks and catholic mass were on the list, but your parents went just to go along with the rest of the family and friends. They weren't religious, so in the end Christmas was simply another holiday, but with presents and - as all the other holidays - a family gathering. The main difference now was that you were studying in another city, becoming one of the absent relatives; you know, the ones that mainly go home for the holidays and vacations. It wasn't bad, but they definitely missed you a lot and the feeling was mutual.

Using your key to get in, the sounds of Simone’s “Então É Natal” (“And So It Is Christmas”), a brazilian holiday song, hit you immediately. You chuckle, taking off your boots and coats. From the front corridor the ornamented tree is visible, carrying innumerous lights and details. There's probably not a single empty wall, the seasonal decoration filling every inch of your field of vision.

“There she is!” Your father shouts as you appear in the living room smiling. The man goes into your direction with open arms, holding you tight. You smell that same cologne he wears since you can remember anything, and along with the warmth of the house, it truly feels like home. Some of the tension from university and work just falls on the carpet, leaving your body to receive all the good things inside that place.

“Carlos, you'll smash our child and I cannot have another one”, your mom yells somewhere from the kitchen direction, making you laugh.

“I can get another one anywhere, Marília”, he finally lets go, an arm around your shoulders. “Won't be as nice as this one, though”

“Of course not, she's irreplaceable”, your cousin Felipe says, approaching. “Prima, você tem feito falta!” (“Cousin, you have been missed!”) He holds you sideways with an insane amount of exaggeration, taking an embarrassed chuckle from you. Felipe was a lawyer with a lot of charisma, but inside he was just your cousin that your mom liked a lot. You both used to play together growing up. “From some people, a little too much”, he whispers playfully before running away, not letting you scold him for bringing up something you were not prepared to deal with this earlier, especially when the person implied wasn't even around. Yet.

Your father doesn't seem to notice, now talking with your mom again.

“Hey, Alice”, you wave to Felipe’s wife sitting on the couch, drinking something on a Christmas themed mug.

“Hey, sweetie! How's uni?”

“Tiring”, you shrug. “How about the kids?”

Your name is once again shouted through the house, and as you turn around three kids are running into you. Camila, Jorge e Rayana hold your waist, almost making you fall with a laugh. Camila is the oldest, at five years old, but the others are at the age of three. They're simply the most precious people in that family.

“Meus pestinhas!” (“My little brats!”) You start messing their hairs and pinching their ears playfully.

“Eu perdi um dente, olha!” (“I lost a tooth, look!”) Camila smiles widely, showing the first little window on her mouth.

“Ela tá ficando banguela e feia” (“She's getting toothless and ugly”) Jorge points out, and by Camila's reaction this isn't a new saying.

“Well, that's too bad. Because you'll get toothless and ugly too, just wait a few years”, Rayana and Camila laugh as the boy pouts at your response, looking at their mom.

“Vamo, vamo, abram espaço. Preciso abraçar minha filha” (Come on, come on, clear the way. I need to hug my daughter) Your mom’s voice finally reached the living room before her arms were wrapped around your torso. It's warm and familiar, you've missed her so much.

“Oi, mãe” (“Hey, mom”)

“Você tá tão magrinha, filha. Aposto que não anda comendo direito na correria, né?” (“You're so skinny, child. I bet you haven't been eating well in all the rush, right?”) The caressing she does on your back is reassuring, and by that you can tell you're going back with bowls filled with food. “Sua irmã vai chegar só mais tarde, seu pai vai buscar ela na estação” (“Your sister will arrive just later, your father will pick her up on the station”)

“When will uncle Jerry get here? He said he would get me new crayons”, Rayana mumbles while playing with one of the numerous ornaments on the lit up tree.

You try not to react to what that phrase implies, going with your mom to the kitchen to busy your hands and your mind with something else. She would probably kick you out of there soon anyway, she never liked having other people in the kitchen with her unless very necessary. But the need to act normal, smile and not think about family friends coming over it's bigger than the prospect of being scolded out of a room.

While the conversation continues in the living room and the song plays to never leave an empty place in your audition, you hover around the place talking with your mom about the neighborhood news and her routines in the morning walks group. It's comforting to know about what's going on, even if it doesn't really affect your life.

You help her cut the bread to make rabanadas (french toasts), looking forward to finally eating them. It's one of your favorite things of this season, even though you could actually find it anywhere at any time of the year. But the memories of having a plate of those on the supper table, covered in sugar and cinnamon, it's one of your favorites. So you're dividing your attention between the chore of slicing the bread and listening to your mom speaking, when a name being yelled in the living room catches your ear and you almost cut the tip of your thumb.

It's Jorge’s voice. “Abby!”

It's a blessing your mom didn't notice it, but now you have a bigger motive to stay inside the kitchen and never leave it.

No matter how much your mother talked, or the music filled the air, or the people in the other room got into different conversations within the group; her voice seemed louder than any other thing to you. You would swear she was next to the table you had the cutting board on, chatting with the children and playing with them.

You could swear you could listen to her whispering to you about lonely nights and missing pieces of a puzzle.

“Tia!” (“Auntie!”)

Your mom stops speaking just to turn around and look into the tall woman's direction. “Abigail!” Her comforting, mothering arms hold the strong torso, and the blonde needs to be in a not very straight posture to fully embrace your mom. What could you say, hightness wasn't in your family's genes.

“One of these days you'll be able to carry me around, with how big and strong you're getting!” And they both laugh as if Abby didn't live at the end of the block and they saw each other constantly.

All the while, you're trying to avoid the upcoming, inevitable moment. Your eyes glue on the bread, but you're not really looking at it. They're talking but you can't decipher the words, just assimilate the sweet voice making your cells tremble in vibrations. Cutting another piece, and another, then another, then-

“Puta que pariu-” (“Motherfucker-”), a drop of blood falls onto the cutting board when you pull your hand away, thumb red and hurting.

“What happened?” Your mom asks, concern in her voice.

“I cut my finger”, the running water of the sink makes the wound sting when you put the finger under it, the blood keeps coming out.

“I can take care of that if you need to”, Abby says, making you look directly at her for the first time of the night.

And you have to give the lack of air to the pain. You have to, because otherwise you would be admitting that looking at her takes your breath away.

“Yeah, Abby is working as a nurse in a school now. I bet she's used to this type of thing”, Marília goes to the cutting board, taking the pieces you've cut already.

There's nowhere to run over this. What will you say, that you don't want her to take care of your wound? That you can't be next to her, orelse all the coherent thoughts in your mind will fade away, leaving room for her voice? That your fingers ache to touch her?

You look to your still bleeding finger under the open faucet, then to the tall, blonde woman again. And while your mother wasn't looking, you both had a silent conversation about something, everything. She could see the doubt in your eyes, but you could see the pleads in hers.

“Sure, I think it wouldn't be much…” You try to smile, finally turning the faucet off and grabbing a towel to wrapp around your finger.

You both go upstairs, she tells you how there was a first aid kit in the bathroom and your stomach jumps at the realization that she knew your house more than yourself probably. Looking forward at all times and trying not to pay too much attention to her careful hand touching your arm like she was guiding you around the place.

“Go to your room, I’ll take the kit”, and you don’t even look at her to see how she was looking at you. You don’t know how that hurt her, mainly because you’re trying to get out of this situation as fast as possible.

The room is just like you always leave it after the breaks, bed neatly covered and books on the shelves. Some stuffed animals that you couldn’t bear to donate were aligned on a shelf next to a poster of a band you liked, the black and red contrasting with the creamy colors of a small giraffe. You saw the table where once you were pressed against, the lamp giving a soft light on the room as you felt a pair of lips so close to yours after all those years of yearning and silent pining.

“Okay, let’s give this a look” she was back using that voice, the one for the workplace. Tender, but firm; like she was trying to be secure, but reassuring.

Abby pulled the chair next to the table so she could sit in front of you, her knees together between your separated legs as she carefully took your hand and unwrapped the towel. Crimson drops started to flow down your finger, and the blonde woman never took the blue eyes away from the cut.

The distance wasn’t enough. Her scent would haunt the bedroom all night, making you dream about her just like it happened before, during your late school years, when she came to spend the day and left you numb and daydreaming. Her touches were so gentle, featherlight.

“It wasn't that bad, we can handle it”, she muttered like she was talking to one of the students from the school she worked at. “So, how's college?”

“It's okay, I guess”, with eyes glued on your own hand, you tried not to notice her thighs too much. “I've been working my ass off to write a paper while keeping up with classes and the monitoring thing”

“You'll get this, I'm sure”, you looked up just in time to see a smirk on her lips, but then returned to look down again before being trapped on that hypnotizing expression. “After all, you've always been very good with your words”

“It was easier in school, though”

“It always is”, she cuts the bandage before wrapping your finger with it. “But that's the thing, right? We start to realize how school was maybe easier, but then again, would you rather be back?”

“Oh, fuck no”, you chuckle as she finishes the curative. “I wouldn't change this for that”

“Yeah”, you finally look up more confident, meeting her indescribable expression. “I would change some things, actually”

“Like what?” You're just keeping the conversation, just trying to let it flow well enough for it to be bearable. You surely weren't expecting the next phrase.

“I wouldn't have dated Owen”, she sighs.

Owen was Abby's boyfriend. They started dating in the last year of school, and looked very much in love, for your displeasing. He wasn't a bad guy per se, but the fact that you already had a crush on Abby made you think that your feelings towards him were totally based on jealousy. So every single thing you had to say about him would be shoved down your throat immediately, and you'd just smile and nod to your friend anytime she mentioned him. You told her he was nice - couldn't bring yourself to say more than that - and supported their relationship with the most painful role in that whole story: the best friend with an unrequited crush.

By fall you found out she and Owen had broken up. Right after…

“Why is that?” Her eyes wander from the quilt to your hands, then back to your face. They were so beautiful, you could spend the rest of the night admiring them. Or the way her hair would fall around her face with soft lines, how her freckles were so attractive to the touch, especially on her arms.

“Don't think I was really into him… At least not in the right way”, Abby was the one not looking at you now, almost more interested in putting the stuff back on the kit box. “I could've been honest with him… And with you”

“Abby-”

“That's fine…” She shrugged. “He was a little bit of a dumbass anyway”

Silence falls around you both, filling the room with an emptiness.

The image of them both in your living room, last Christmas, haunts your mind as soon as you remember how you knew nothing and was too caught up in your own thoughts at the time. The way she laughed at his jokes, making your stomach turn as you smiled politely. Or how you saw them kissing next to the coat holder by the front door, and all the food you ate wanted to come back in awful bitterness.

You never told anyone. Never said a word, as always, rather keeping the green feeling on the back of your mind in order to not do something stupid - like being rude or start crying.

But then, you came home for the summer break. You dad was making barbecues in the backyard, you mom decorated the house with all the stuff your cousin brought from Brasil on his last trip, and you'd listen to pagode in the living room while the kids were playing and running, waiting for the meat to be properly roasted so they could finally eat.

Internally, you were ready to deal with that same gut-rotting feeling all over again. The plan was to sustain the fake expression until the time allowed you to pull the tiredness card on everyone and go to your room to watch some old telenovela.

Abby showed up alone, greeting everyone as usual. And when she looked at you, you could swear that was something in her eyes that could make you shiver. How she took your figure in before hugging you, how she held you so tight and for a little bit longer. How she was always trying to be next to you. You couldn't decipher, though, and the whole day went by mixing the confusion of her being without Owen and not even mentioning his name, and the rush of being that close to her again.

That night, in your room, she kissed you. Right there, where you were sitting now, she held your face between your hands and your skin shivered, while her lips touched yours.

You waited for years. Kissing her was probably one of the only things you wanted to do every time she was around, flesh craving hers. And it finally happened… But she had a boyfriend.

So you never talked about it again. You went back to college and texted her less and less.

“Abby, Abby, Abby!” A childish voice came from the corridor, the door opened to show Rayana. “Come here, I need your help to defeat Jorge and papai” (dad)

“Okay, I'll be there in a second!” The blonde smiled before the girl ran back downstairs. “Well, it seems like a have a duty”

“Can't let her down, she'll never forgive you”, you both chuckled while she got out of the room, first to leave the kit back in the bathroom and then to go to the living room again.

Sighing, you laid back on the mattress. Just like that summer night, you were alone in your room trying to collect your feelings about an interaction with Abby. Heart beating fast and a familiar warmth on your chest, wanting to curse every single entity for putting you in this position.

You came down maybe 15 minutes later, mask back on to decorate your face with a smile. You saw the tall woman on the mat with the younger children on top of her, attacking her while laughs filled the place.

“Okay, okay, saiam de cima da Abigail” (“Get off of Abigail”) Your mom didn't have to say it twice before they were sitting next to her. “Abigail, I need a favor. Remember that bowl I lent to you last week?”

“Sure”, her arms seemed stronger now that she was supporting herself on the elbows. Why was she so gorgeous?

“I need you to get it for me, darling”

“Okay, I got it”, Abby got up and immediately went grabbing her coat again.

And you were about to go back to the kitchen to make yourself useful, but it couldn't be that easy.

“Filha, vai com ela. Está nevando bastante, não é bom dirigir sozinha nesse tempo” (“Daughter, go with her. It's snowing a lot, it isn't good to drive alone in the weather”)

“Oh, it's not necessary-” She really tried, but your mom wouldn't take a negative answer.

“I'm not asking, you won't go alone!”

You nod and start putting on heavy clothes. It was okay, all good. You both would get in the house, grab the bowl, and get back in no time. It would be fine.

[dividers by @cafekitsune]

[uluvjay]

You are in love- L. fantilli

Gif by frostbees

Summery: you and Luca find your way to each others hearts

Luca Fantilli x Hughes!reader

Warnings?: kissing

Got the inspo for this listening to “You are in love” by T swift so a little inspired by that!

—

You and Luca met when Luke had introduced you two at the beginning of the season, you had heard a little about him from Mackie and Duker but still had yet to meet the boy and his brother. “Hi I’m Luca” he said and you couldn’t help but just look at him for a moment, the floppy brown hair and big smile was doing something to you and you felt yourself blushing for absolute no reason. “I’m Y/n Luke’s twin sister” you said shaking the hand he had held out.

You got introduced to Adam as well but they were soon being pulled away by the rest of the boys into the living room of the sophomore house to watch a football game. “What was that?” Your twin asked, “what was what?” You replied a little confused. “Your blushing, Is there something I don’t know about” and here came the overprotective brother, “What? No Luke I just met him” you said feeling a little embarrassed that he caught your blush. He stared at you a little longer before pulling you into him and pulling you into the living room with everyone.

—

Over the next few months you and Luca got to know one another pretty good, and by December half of your friends were convinced you two were secretly dating. He was currently laying on your bed while you packed your bag to go home for the holidays, with Luke and Adam being away at worlds you two were together all the time.

“Do you really have to go home?” He asked with a pout and puppy dog eyes. “Yes Lu” you said with a laugh, “Lukes already not going to be home and Quinn isn’t sure if he’s gonna be able to come home because of the weather in Vancouver, I think my mom might have a heart attack if me or Jack don’t come home” you said. “Why aren’t you going back home again?” You asked. “It’s just a lot and mom said weather has been horrible she doesn’t even know if planes have been taking off” he said.

You felt bad for Luca, him and Adam never really being far apart from each other especially during the holidays you knew this was hard for him.

For you however this wasn’t your first time at the rodeo, pretty used to your siblings not being home for holidays and being far apart. “You could always come home with me if you’d like” you said, your mom had invited him as soon as she found out he wasn’t going home.

“I already told you I appreciate your mom offering but I don’t want to impose on your guys Christmas” he said. You put the hoodie in your hands down and put them on your hips, “Don’t give me the mom look, I’m not coming home with you that’s your family time Y/n” he said.

“Cmon Luca, please? You won’t be imposing and I’m pretty sure my mom got you gifts already” you told him. “Y/n! I told you to tell her not to do that” he replied. “She wants you there to…do you want me to beg? Because I will” you told him, “y/n no-“ he said getting cut of by a laugh as you got on your knees and started begging in a British accent. “Okay, okay I’ll come home with you” he said between laughs, “Yay! My moms gonna be so excited” you said jumping up and attacking him in a hug.

—

Christmas went great, Quinn made it in, Jack had already been home for a few days before you got there, and you were correct your mom had gotten Luca a large amount of gifts that made him blush and tell her he didn’t deserve any of them. Your brothers had interrogated him the second they seen him come in with you, they knew who he was of course they tried to pay as much attention to Michigan hockey as they could. But didn’t change the fact that they wanted to know why he was coming home with their baby sister.

Your mom and dad loved him but they also wanted to know what the deal with the two of you was. You knew you had feelings for Luca but you didn’t know if he felt the same, you guys were together all the time, sat next to each other everywhere, knew each others orders at, he always had a hand lingering on your lower back, and he had recently got you to start wearing his jersey to games.

Today was New Year’s Eve meaning your parents were going to host their annual party and you had one thing in mind, going into the new year with a boyfriend. Tonight you were telling Luca how you felt and there was nothing that could stop you.

You hadn’t seen each other for most of the day as your brothers had him on the frozen pond all day while you helped your mom cook. But as the evening rolled around you finally caught him coming out of the guest room in a nice shirt and jeans while you were coming out of your room in a black dress you ordered weeks ago. “Well who do we have here” you said scaring him slightly as he was looking down at his phone.

“Y/n!- oh you-you look incredible, beautiful actually. Is that the dress you showed me? It looks really, really good” he said blushing and not taking his eyes off you. “Thanks Lu, you don’t look to bad yourself” you said smiling at him as the two of you finally made eye contact. You stayed like that for a moment until Jack came out of his room ruining the moment, “The hell are you two weirdos just standing here in silence for?” He said walking down the stairs.

“Uh we should probably head down” you said, “yeah right, let’s go” he said extending his arm out to you so you could hook your arm through it. As the night went on you didn’t see a whole lot of each other, you being pulled in every direction by family members and your parents friends wanting to know how you were but as you finally got a moment to breathe you noticed the time 11:50. Shit you only had ten minutes till midnight and to find Luca and tell him how you felt.

Lucky for you he was right in the couch in the living room, you leaned down over the back of the couch and asked him to come with you for a moment, he quickly did with no hesitation. You lead grabbed your coats off the rack by the door and lead him on the front porch with you. “Everything okay?” He asked worried that you pulled him outside in the middle of family event. “I’m gonna tell you something, and it’s okay if you don’t agree with me but I have to tell you” you said playing with your fingers.

“Y/n your scaring me a little, is everything okay?” He said slightly grabbing your chin and making you look at him. “Everythings fine I-I’m..I have something to tell you”

“Okay..”he said, he was hoping you were about to tell him what he really wanted to hear. “Luca..I’m in love with you, have been for a little while now. Your the sweetest person I’ve ever met, you’ve been treating me so good these past few months and your not even mine. You walk me to classes if you can, text me goodnight and good morning , my family absolutely loves you, and I’ve never felt this way before” you finally let out.

Luca didn’t know what to say, he had so many emotions running through his head right now. He’d been in love with you from the moment he shook your hand in your brothers kitchen and you felt the same. “It’s okay if you-’’ you started but he cut you off by pulling you into a kiss. As soon as your lips hit you heard “Happy new year” come from in the house and the sound of who you assume was a drunk Jack banging pots together. “Happy new year baby” he said you pulled away, “Happy new year Lu” you replied pulling him in for another kiss.

The next morning you woke up in your boys arms and a text from your mom that held a video, as you opened it you seen it was the ring doorbell recording of Luca pulling you in for a kiss and it had captured your little moment for all of time. You smiled even harder at her message

I’ve spent your whole life hoping you found someone to love you right, and from the looks of it you two angels are in love🤍

—

Sorry for any errors, I hope you enjoyed!

[karin-gespenst]

my thoughts immediately after watching the 2023 Christmas Special

Can we please keep Geoffrey? He's delightful and thoughtful and the first sibling of any of the Nonnatuns to appear since Sister Evangelina's brother!

I chuckled when they lampshaded the fact that Colette could have moved into Nonnatus house years ago. Chummy got to live there with her child as well, but that was so long ago, back in the old Nonnatus house before they had to knock it down.

I was going to make a comment about unsurprisingly predictable surprise triplets, just before they turned out to be quadruplets, which did surprise me, a little.

But I am surprised that the research-loving show-off doctor did not x-ray Brenda in month 5 or 6. Or maybe listen for more than half a minute with the pinard? can you not notice the difference between 2 heartbeats and 4? Did not everyone and their mom get to palpate poor Brenda's belly? They even let Tim have a go just because he was there.

Sister Monica Joan's depression rang very familiar. When my grandmother neared 90, she complained about having to grow so old. That remark from Sister Monica Joan back when Nancy was new could have been a quote from my gran: "Child, I have seen everything."

If Judy Parfitt is contemplating leaving her role, I'm sure we'd all applaud her for sticking around for so long and inspiring a ton of request for a prequel series about the beginnings of the order in Poplar.

Does Heidi have a plan where she wants to go with the story of May and her mother? the parcel gave an idea about the difficulties with fostering and adoption in a constellation like theirs. Shelagh making an effort to make the gift from Esther suitable for May is symbolic for the care she gives her, taking what is there and adapting it to what May needs. It is also fine with me to show that even a privileged and educated family like the Turners can only do so much in a system that made Esther have to leave May at an orphanage in the first place. The message I'm taking away is that the real need is to try make sure children can stay in their families and communities whenever possible and that communities and families have the means to raise their children.

Did anyone ever take a closer look at the differences between the kind of pastoral care Cyril gives in comparison to Tom ? I'd be interested in reading it, but my knowledge of the goings on in church at that time is nonexistent. Of course, comparing a curate who is pastoraling full time with someone who has a different day job will be mismatched, but there are more distinctions to be found.

Phyllis did not come home refreshed from the refresher course. And the enema discussion is a treat!

The idea with the illuminated baby Jesus will absolutely be stolen should anyone ever make me put together a nativity display.

More thoughts are sure to come, now I'm curious about yours!

[simplysedusa]

My Main WIPs

The Best Years of Our (Resurrected) Lives

After a hostage situation gone awry during a field trip, many of the Townsville citizens agreed to have the beloved Powerpuff Girls taken out of public school to ensure the safety of their peers. From the ages of 9 to 15, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup Utonium were homeschooled by Professor Utonium. With many of Townsville's most notorious villains locked away indefinitely, crime in Townsville has managed to calm down (mostly). This leaves the girls' main concern to be one of their toughest arch enemies ever, The Rowdyruff Boys, who the girls haven't had a run in with since they were seven years old.

Unbeknownst to the girls, the Rowdyruff Boys had their own troubles. With Mojo being a permanent resident at Pokey Oaks Penitentiary, and HIM disowning the trio, the boys were truly on their own. Desperate, starving, and weak, Brick, Butch, and Boomer managed to literally fall onto someone else's doorsteps. Years after living in a group home and completing their house arrest, their caregiver, Marie, pushes the boys to integrate into society by enrolling them at Townsville Central High.

A year later, Principal Green invites the girls to TCH in an attempt to pacify the concerns of students, staff, and loved ones who still feel unsafe around the boys. Forced to face one another, the six super-powered beings make amends, all while dealing with regular, human high-school issues, former and new enemies out for their blood (in both a figurative and literal sense), and uncovering the corrupted underbelly of Townsville's politics and how it all connects to some of the major villains to have ever roamed the streets.

Main Ships: Lowkey still don't know tbh but I'm thinking either Bluegrass (Bubbles x Butch), Cotton Candy (Blossom x Boomer), and Christmas Ornaments (Buttercup x Brick) OR Blues, Reds, and Greens (or I might just post two very different versions of the same story lol).

Also, the boys might get two moms and Princess Morbucks redemption!

All Grown Up (Kinda)

The City of Townsville has had its ups and downs, but without the superhero sister triplets, The Powerpuff Girls, the city would be left in ruins. Thanks to the construction of Townsville's newest, tightest, and strictest prison, TBA, many of the severe, repeat offending villains can be forever detained, leaving the other reformed villains to live amongst the innocent. Mini Dynamo robots invented by Professor Utonium take on the tougher, more difficult jobs for the cops. So where does that leave the girls? Retired. Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup's main concerns now are their own personal problems. Blossom's in grad school, still somewhat unsure of what she wants to do after and struggling with her serious, long distance relationship. Buttercup, a former Olympian, had recently been barred from competing after her cheating scandal, which also resulted in the loss of her brand deals, forcing her to move back home and take a teaching job at their younger sister's middle school. Bubbles, while the most secure in her personal identity outside of her sisters, overworks herself with her activism and charity and her entertainment gigs, with barely any time to herself. Or to spend with her sisters, only God would know how long it's been since the three have been in the same room for longer than five minutes (without arguing).

The Rowdyruff Boys, on the other hand, are doing quite well for themselves. Boomer, a rather populated ghost writer and producer, stars his own subsidiary music label. Butch opens his own gym, while still DJing at the club they all own. Brick owns an apartment complex that doubles as a restaurant on the first two floors, where tenants can work to pay in labor if needed, and also recently opened a theater. Their days of attacking the Powerpuff Girls are over, thanks to the deal they've made with HIM. Every night, once a year, the Rowdyruff Boys must complete a favor in exchange for their freedom and they must not speak of their deal to anyone. So long as they don't get caught, they're in the clear.

Fate, however, decides to have the six reunite. And while the interactions were much calmer and more civil than anticipated, the timing couldn't have been worse. Former, now rehabilitated villains have been found murdered, with messages left behind for both the boys and girls. Now, the six will have to work together to find the culprit, all while learning how to "adult".

Main Ships: Blues, Reds, and Greens

Professor Utonium is also married and has a biological daughter and step-son.

Also, the Rowdyruff Boys might get two moms.

Mean Boys

Elmer Sgloo had never attended a real school after his monstrous rampage through Townsville. But at the ripe age of 17, his parents felt that now was the best time for Elmer to reintegrate with his peers at Townsville Central High. While the Powerpuff Girls are more than happy to show him around on the first day, he catches the attention of the most infamous, dangerous, and out right belligerent triplets to ever live in Townsville; the Rowdyruff Boys. No one has ever had the opportunity to infiltrate their small circle, but after accepting their rather casual lunch invitation, he becomes the Powerpuff's newest pawn to spy on the boys, and investigate their newest weapon, a "Burn Book" crafted from the depths of hell.

Main Ships: Still unsure, I'm almost certain it'll be Reds, Blues, and Greens with Elmer x Julie Bean (she's the Aaron Samuels equivalent), but I think Elmer x Brick would be a cool plot twist (or I'm considering making it one-sided on Brick's end). Idk, it's my newest idea, I'm still working out the details.

Wrapped In A Bow (title pending lmao)

Blossom Utonium's...friendship with Princess Morbucks had never made sense to anyone, not even her sisters. Their intense, competitive nature had led everyone to believe that they hated each other's guts. But ever since high school, the two were peas in a pod. Blossom supported Princess's interest in robotics and was the perfect study buddy, while Princess was the devil on Blossom's shoulder, encouraging her to let loose and have fun.

And once Princess learns that Blossom got into her dream school for grad, she's right at her side in her flying Gucci modded heels, begging for one night out on the town. Clubbing, partying, and drinking were more of her sisters' forte, but Blossom eventually agrees to one night for the hell of it.

What she hadn't expected was a run-in with Brick Keane, another former arch-nemesis of hers, who tags along with the girls.

She wakes up the next morning with articles and videos trending of the three redheads having the time of their lives, and the guilty parties laid next to her naked on her left and right. Possibly dating one former villain was scandalous enough, but two former villains could be quite a handful. Blossom's mostly pristine reputation is now in danger, and if there's anything Blossom cared about, it's about how she's perceived. Could she make this work?

Main Ships: R3ds (Blossom x Princess x Brick), maybe Greens and Blues, but I'm also considering other ships to explore outside of them.

[palfriendpatine66]

Hello friend! I was thinking about PiP (always) and I remembered Obi-Wan telling Anakin that he's had some... regretful hair cuts in the past. Then I remembered that Suit Life of Zach and Cody episode where Cody dyes his hair and I ended up coming up with this little scene for my It Takes a Village WIP. Since PiP inspired it I wanted to share it with you! 💖

---

Obi-Wan stepped lightly away from Korkie’s room, avoiding the creaky spot just outside the door, and made his way into the living room. It had been a hectic few days getting all of Anakin's belongings moved over and (mostly) unpacked. Padme hadn't been kidding when she said he didn't have many household belongings - he had a grand total of two bowls, three plates, miscellaneous silverware that were all mismatched and Obi-Wan suspected came from various restaurants, and a handful of other appliances. The only furniture he opted to keep was his bed, deciding that the sad excuse for a drooping couch wasn't worth putting in storage for when he eventually moved out.

What she hadn't told him about, though, was the sheer amount of things Anakin had. Apparently Anakin partook in many different hobbies, depending on his mood. He had random computer and robotics circuitry and parts, surprisingly soft yarn and a pair of knitting needles that appeared to have seen better days, an empty fish bowl that now housed an assortment of rocks, and various tools that Obi-Wan was secretly glad Anakin was bringing into the house (his dinky little toolbox was paltry in comparison and he was positive that taking care of Korkie - and Anakin - would require something to be repaired in the future).

But they had finally finished finding homes for everything. And in the process, Anakin had found a few of Obi-Wan's belongings that he decided needed to also be re-housed. Namely, an old scrapbook Qui-Gon had given him as a housewarming present years ago. Qui-Gon and Padme had meticulously included copies of everything from their lives together from copies of Obi-Wan's adoption papers, pictures of Obi-Wan cuddling with his newborn sister, notes that Padme had found between herself and Obi-Wan, to pictures of Obi-Wan in front of the house holding the first box he brought in. While he cherished the book - and the memories it invoked - he had had it in a drawer of a side table in the living room. Now Anakin insisted it needed a more prominent position. He also briefly mentioned starting one for Korkie, but when Obi-Wan asked him about it he quickly changed the subject.

When Obi-Wan sat down on the couch next to Anakin he was hardly surprised to see his new roommate looking through the pictures. He hadn't had the chance to get through all of it, but once he got permission to look he had become determined to look at everything it contained.

“Aw, you dressed up with Padme for Halloween!”

“Oh yes, I remember that year. She was obsessed with Peter Pan.” Obi-Wan chuckled. “She loved that he and I had matching hair, so she decided it would be perfect for us to go as Peter and Tinkerbell.”

“That's adorable.” The smile on Anakin's face made Obi-Wan's night in uncomfortable green tights worth it. Mostly. “Not many teenagers would have agreed to go out with their little sister, let alone dress up.”

“Well, you know she and I have always been close. Besides, when she wants her way she knows exactly what to say to get it. There's a reason she’s going to school for politics.”

Anakin turned the page and froze, Obi-Wan letting out a groan that was much too loud for naptime when he saw what caught his eye.

“What. Is this?”

In the picture, seventeen year old Obi-Wan had a scowl on his face while his mom fretted behind him trying in equal parts to help and not to laugh. Instead of his usual auburn hair that Anakin had always seen, his locks were a bright, Christmas red.

“What you have to understand is-”

“How have I never seen this before?! Surely I would have remembered this hairstyle!”

Obi-Wan's forehead dropped into his hand. “I was mad at Qui-Gon for not letting me do something - I don't even remember what. So when I was at a friend’s house we had decided a great way at getting back at him would be to dye my hair.”

“You picked this color?!”

“No! We dyed it black. Needless to say, mom and dad were not pleased when I came home. I think that was the closest I've ever seen Qui-Gon to being angry with me. He immediately drove me to the store and we got bleach and a box of hair dye that looked like it would be close to my natural color. When we got back, mom tried her best but this was the result. It was supposed to be ‘Honey Mist Auburn’ if I remember correctly.”

Anakin bit his lip, trying desperately to hold back a laugh. “Honey, you missed auburn big time.”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and Anakin let out a guffaw.

“Yes, well. We ended up having to go to a salon. That was when I had that horrible, short haircut, remember? Most of my hair ended up so damaged that they had to chop it off. But at least they were able to salvage the color and I didn't have to shave it.”

Anakin hid his face in Obi-Wan's shoulder to try and quiet his laughs. He knew what Korkie would be like if you woke him up too soon from his nap and he didn't want to start their co-habitation on the wrong foot. Obi-Wan found he didn't mind. He actually quite enjoyed feeling Anakin's body vibrate with his mirth and the hot puffs of breath against his neck. He smiled to himself, despite looking directly at picture evidence of his youthful mistakes.

Ok first I’m going to make this about me for a hot second. That’s twice tonight someone’s told me they’re still thinking about PiP. And my heart. Seriously. I cannot tell you just how happy this makes me. And that any part of it INSPIRED something more? Crying.

Ok. Now that I’ve gotten me out of the way:

I need to know more about this au!!!!

Yes to weird junk drawer pack rat Anakin.

Yes to stolen silverware.

Yes to honey auburn mist!!!!!

[xiaq]

what was alex's mom's reaction to him coming out since it's assumed that she didn't know and is religious

Alex's mom (and her whole family 2.0) more or less pretend that Alex doesn't exist since that's most convenient for them (less because he's gay and more because she'd prefer that she never had a wild youth and was the perfect housewife from day 1 with her perfect husband and kids who look just like him).

However, I do have a head-canon that Alex's baby half-sister Katie ("call me Kat or I will shank you") comes out as bisexual in high school and her parents had 0 prep and handle it badly, not in a "she's in danger sort of way" but in a "we're well-meaning but our response is deeply hurtful" way. And being a strong independent teenager, she's like well fuck that, I'm out.

So one day Eli opens the door and there's a furious teenage girl who's like, "whattup, I'm Alex's half-sister Kat, I've run away from home and I'm not going back and you can't make me; you have to harbor my fugitive ass because I'm queer and also sort of related to you. Do you have anything to eat?" And Eli is like, "how did you know where we live? how did you even get here?" and she says, with a degree of distain only a teenager can muster, "mom has your address so she can send her stupid Christmas card every year. And I got here on a plane, duh." And he's like, "well, you better come inside because the baby is going to wake up any second and also my southern upbringing dictates that I feed anyone who expresses the slightest indication of hunger."

It turns out she's crazy for itty bitty sleepy infants and he conveniently has one of those. So he gets her a healthy snack and leaves her cooing over their fresh spawn and franticly calls Alex from the other room (it's playoffs and he's on the road, naturally). Alex ends up having to call his mom for the first time in a decade. Long story short, Kat stays with them for a few weeks since summer vacation has just started and she's, you know, full of riteous fury. But after a couple weeks things simmer down and apologies are made. Because Alex's mom and her husband realize this isn't a phase they can talk their kid out of and they're going to lose her if they don't act right. So they actually start having productive, meaningful conversations with Alex and Eli and over the next several years their relationship drastically improves. Kat visits often and actually lives with them through college (she goes to the same fictional university Eli did in Houston) to save money on housing and help out with her nieces and they stay super close. So that relationship never fully heals, but it gets better. And it gives them Kat.

I also head-canon that during Kat’s junior year of college, when she's still living with them, Alex and Eli let a new rookie stay with them for a bit. Naturally, Kat and Rookie end up falling for each other which gives Alex a very fatherly existential crisis and nearly gives Rookie a heart attack when Alex catches Kat sneaking out of Rookie's bedroom one night.

Uh. Anyway. That was probably more than you were expecting.

[ameonds-dragonn]

Hotd modern au

I got inspired by @sansaorgana she made me fall in love with this au 🥰

For warning, this was something quick I made on my phone so probably ain’t great. But enjoy 💚

We’ve agreed that the Targaryens are rich as fuck, i think it’s old money like the Kennedy’s. Visryes is a huge lawyer and Daemon gives me Wall Street investors or CEO vibes. And Alicent is stay at home mommy that loves her kids. Nrya is Sahm as well but she modeled some I think, not runway model thou.

Aegon is a pothead/frat boy obviously, he only parties at college. Not caring if he graduates or not, Vis probably pays the uni a shit ton of money. Every once in awhile he puts an effort for classes :) He dresses like a frat boy and a stoner had a baby. Slides 99.8% of the time, hoodies that have his frat house name Or university name on it. He owns one part of jeans and slacks(they stay at home 99%). Smells like cigarette smoke, small vanilla notes and whiskey. Knows he can get away with failing school, getting pulled over, screwing girls. He knows Alicent loves him bc he’s her first baby. He’s not dumb as people think he is. He loves his mama too but kinda takes advantage of it.

Aemond is a Harvard baby through and through! Most likely an English major, but he also gives me medical school vibes(personally for me). He puts school first, he knows not everyone can get into Harvard so he appreciates that he did. Ameond is the campus mysterious heartthrob. Girls and gays love him! He’s 6’5, blonde with shoulder length hair, wears leather and black clothing w/sliver rings. Little whore! Also he has his scar on his eye. Obviously dragons aren’t real for us. So Aemond and Luke didn’t fight each other over Vhgar. I’m thinking he lost it on accident, maybe Vis took him and Aegon knife throwing or one of the neighbors kids and him were playing with sticks or something. Personally the scar is what made fall in love with him. It’s him no matter what au it is. It shaped him to who he is as a person. He’s a huge mama’s boy! He don’t hide it either, he loves Alicent.

When he comes home from school for the summer and Christmas, he brings gifts for her and Heleana. Stuff he saw while he was out one Saturday, little trinkets, shoes, books. Anything that reminded him of his mom and sister. Also does this for his S/O, he’s just a sweet emo boy!

Heleana still loves her bugs and other creepy crawlers! We stan Helena the bug queen in this house 💚 she’s the quiet girl that is always reading a book, drawing in her sketch pad. Has earbuds in, but will take them out if anyone talks to her. Loves old English literature and plays. She loves NYC and broadway, she gives me NYU vibes. Definitely lives in NYC but goes upstate a lot bc of nature. Also I think she would be a witch or at least into paganism. Aemond is close to Salem, MA so he goes and gets her stuff from the shops. He has 6 tarot decks that he plans on taking home along with crystals and books he got for her. TSA workers hate Aemond bc he goes over the weight limit with his suitcases.

Alicent, my favorite mom! Okay so, Alicent was Vis’ sugar baby when she was 20ish. Went to school with Nrya and ended marrying her dad. But I don’t think they hate each other in this AU, probably not each other’s fans. I think Nrya and Harwin are together, probably met on a photo shoot set. Harwin was definitely a model or an actor in his day. Anyways! Alicent got pregnant with Aegon before the wedding, you could see her bump in her dress. Vis works 24:7 so Alicent got very close with Aegon as a baby. Aegon looks after her always has! She was very involved with school when the kids were little. PTA mom, sports mom, art/theater mom, she always supports her kids and their activities. Calls them each everyday to see what’s new, are you sick?, how’s the money looking? She used to feel insecure about being a young mom, but now she’s 43 and her kids are in college. She has so much free time now! Definitely the hot mom, also the cool mom(mean girls hey!). Alicent was meant to be a mother, she truly loves her kids and wants the best for them. She don’t give me toxic mother in law vibes

Nrya is the first child of Vis, so he is crazy over her. He’s still in Nrya’s lane, but he talks to the other kids moreish. Nrya became a model her junior year of college. Has been covers of vogue, vanity fair, a bunch of wedding mags. It’s how she met her husband, Harwin. They fell in love and had Jace, Luke, Joff, the twins. Definitely a boy mom but she loves being a mom.

[austinsgirl]

Rather Die Chapter 21

Masterlist

——————————————

Christmas Morning

Victoria woke up to the smell of breakfast being made in the kitchen. Austin & Evelyn are currently frying up ham & making eggs. Evelyn seems to really be getting along with Austin, which makes Vic happy since that is the grandmother to Violet.

"Good morning, Vic." Austin smiles. "Merry Christmas."

"Good morning, Merry Christmas." she smiles back.

Austin walks up to her & talks quietly, "I was thinking we could tell everyone the baby's name during breakfast."

"Yeah, definitely." Victoria agrees happily.

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart!" Evelyn says coming behind Vic to give her a hug.

"Merry Christmas, mom!" she smiles. "Breakfast looks amazing. I had no idea you planning to do all this."

"Austin asked me last night if I'd help him. He wanted to surprise you."

"Oh?" she raises an eyebrow at Austin. "Did you now?"

"I did." Austin smiles & blushes a bit.

"That's really sweet of you, Aus."

"You deserve it, Vic. You did so much yesterday. You deserve to just rest and chill out today."

"Thank you. I appreciate it." Vic smiles again.

Once breakfast was ready, everyone sat down at the table to eat.

Austin speaks up, "So um, I have some news. Julie & I have made it official! We are now boyfriend & girlfriend. I asked her this morning with the necklace I got for her with my birthstone."

Every one was congratulating them & seemed genuinely happy except for Victoria.

She put on a fake smile as her heart sank when she heard the news, even though she saw it coming any day now.

"Vic & I also have some news..." Austin says, getting Victoria's attention, dragging her away from her thoughts. "Vic, wanna share the news?"

"So, we have decided on a name for baby girl. Her name is Violet Lorraine."

Austin's sister Ashley immediately started tearing up at hearing her middle name.

"Austin, is Lorraine after mom?" Ashley asks.

"Yeah, it is." Austin smiles.

"That's so beautiful, Austin. I love it." she says. "Mom would love it."

"Thank you." Austin starts to get teary eyed himself.

David speaks up, "Your mom would be so proud & so honored, son."

"Thanks dad." Austin replies.

After breakfast, everyone gathered in the living room to open presents as Home Alone played in the background.

Lots of gifts being exchanged, a lot from Austin as he loves to give & tends to over buy.

Vic opens her first gift from him which is a gift certificate to a local spa.

"Oooo this is so nice, Aus. Thank you."

"You're welcome." he replies. "This place has special messages for pregnant women, and you're always complaining about being sore so it should help. There should be enough on there for a facial & to get your nails done too."

"That sounds so amazing. I will be booking an appointment ASAP."

Mila opened up a gift from Austin next which was a gift certificate to the same spa.

"Ooo Vic! Girls day!" Mila says showing Vic the gift certificate.

"Ooo yes, definitely!" Victoria replies.

As they continue opening gifts, Austin & Ashley both open a gift from Victoria. She had gotten a drawing commissioned of them & with their mom. The siblings both started tearing up.

"Wow...this is um...beautiful." Austin says speechless. "Where did you even get this picture?"

"Your dad may have helped me with that." Vic looks over to David who is looking at her.

"This is so sweet. Thank you so much, Victoria." Ashley says getting up from her seat to give Vic a hug.

"You're very welcome." Vic replies, hugging back.

"Thanks, Vic. This means a lot." Austin says.

"You're so welcome, Aus. I'm glad you love it."

They continued opening presents until everything was unwrapped.

They also went through their stockings which was full of their favorite candies, travel size items, lottery scratch offs, little random things that they'd like, for example, Austin got guitar picks since he plays guitar. There was also beauty items for the women.

After a while, Austin's family said their goodbyes & headed home. Austin said his 'see you later's' before leaving to go to Juliette's parents house.

About a couple hours after Austin had left, he had texted Mila saying he forgot one of Vic's gifts in his closet and asked for her to give it to Vic just incase he didn't see her when he got home.

Mila grabbed a little velvet box out of one Austin's drawers in his closet & went back out to the living room where everyone was now watching The Santa Claus.

"Vic, Austin asked for me to grab this from his room for you. He wanted to make sure you had it today just incase you're in bed by the time he gets home." Mila says as she hands her the box.

Vic takes it from her, confused as to what it could be.

"Oh my gosh...he remembered..." Vic says shocked as she sees what's in the box.

"What is it, sweetie?" Evelyn asks.

"It was months ago. Austin & I had some time to kill before our doctors appointment. We had walked down to Starbucks to get something to drink, and on our way back we walked passed this antique store that had this Tiffany's pearl necklace and earring set in window on display & it was the exact set that-

"Your dad had gotten you for your fifteenth birthday before he passed, and you had lost it in the move..." Evelyn says cutting her off.

"Yes." Victoria says on the verge of tears. "We were running out of time to stop in there, and then completely forgot to go in afterwards because we were too distracted from seeing Violet on the ultrasound. Whenever we would be over there after that, the store was closed. But I guess he managed to go on his own to get it for me. I can't believe he remembered it, and how much I wanted it." she wipes away tears that are streaming down her cheeks.

Victoria feels herself adding on more love for Austin to the love she already has that she continues to try and suppress.

"That is the sweetest thing." Evelyn says. "He really loves you, huh?"

"What?" Vic asks getting caught off guard. "Noo. It's not like that, mom. He just loves me in a friend & the mother of his child kinda way."

"But this was months ago, right? He probably got it before he met Julie." Mila says.

"Juliette." Victoria corrects her.

"Whatever. He definitely did love you to do that."

"Emphasis on the 'did'. He's with Juliette now. It's not like that now."

"Honestly, you didn't hear this from me but, I think it's always like that with him now. I don't think this man will ever stop loving you in that romantic way." Mila says.

"You think?"

"Mhm. I just feel it."

"I hope you're wrong, Mila. I don't think it'll ever happen for us."

"Don't be so sure." Mila raises an eyebrow with a smirk. "I'm rarely wrong about these things. Also got the thought, what if Eliana stole your necklace from you? The one you lost?"

"You know what, she totally could have. I did catch her rummaging through my jewelry box once. She claimed she was looking for something I borrowed from her, which I never did. A pair of earrings were missing after that and she played it off like she hadn't seen them. That bitch." Vic says.

"Yeah, she probably did then." Mila replies.

Evelyn says, "It's sad how horrible of a person she turned out to be. But honestly not surprised. Her parents were always so snooty to us whenever they visited New Zealand."

"Her mom especially." Victoria adds.

Some time has passed. Everyone has gone to bed for the night except for Victoria. She waited up for Austin.

He finally walked through the door a little after 11pm.

"Hey, Vic. You're still up?" Austin asks, seeing her from the kitchen as he puts food away in the fridge he was sent home with from Juliette's mom.

"Yeah. I was waiting for you actually." she replies as she stuffs Sour Patch Watermelons into her mouth. AKA, her current pregnancy craving.

"Oh, you were?" he walks into the living room and sits down next to her on the couch.

"Yeah. I wanted to thank you in person for the necklace set, so thank you, Austin. You really didn't have to do that. It must have cost you a fortune."

"Oh, you're welcome. It's nothing."

"It's not nothing, Aus. It's everything. It's absolutely perfect & something I don't deserve."

"What do you mean you don't deserve it? You absolutely do." he grabs her hand in reassurance.

"I don't deserve it. Not after the way I treated you."

"I don't care about that anymore. You absolutely deserve it. After the shit I put you through, the shit Eliana put you through. The way you wanted this so bad because it was something your dad had gotten you that you lost. You need this."

"You're one of the sweetest people I have ever met, you know that?" Vic says starting to sob. "I'm sorry I ever treated you like you weren't."

"It's okay. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. That was something you didn't deserve."

"It's fine. You still piss me off and annoy me sometimes though." she chuckles.

"I can say the same about you, Vic." Austin laughs.

"How was meeting her parents?" she asked.

"It was good. They were really nice. Her dad was kinda scary & weary of me at first but he warmed up to me."

"That's good."

"Yeah. They got me a gift card to Barnes & Noble." he chuckles. "They figured I'd like it since I obviously shop there."

"Right, because you met Juliette there."

"Yeah." he laughs, stealing a piece of candy from her.

"Hey! Those are mine!" she snatches the bag out of her lap. "See, you're being annoying."

"What? You can't give up just one? It's Christmas!"

"No, I need these things to survive right now."

"You're so dramatic."

"I am an actress." she jokes.

"Oh speaking of, I don't remember if I told you. My publicist is already working with yours on getting us interviews for the movie. The trailer drops next week and then the movie is dropping in April."

"April?" she raises an eyebrow. "When in April?"

"Late April I think, but the premier is early April."

"And I'm due the 16th. Great. I hope we'll be able to make it to the premier."

"I'm sure it'll be fine. If we miss it, then oh well."

"I'd rather not, you know? It's my first movie."

"I know, I know. But whatever happens, it'll all work out."

"I know." she sighs.

"We should get to bed. It's been a long day."

"We should. Help me get up?"

"Of course."

Austin gets up and grabs onto her hands and pulls her up.

"Thank you. I'm only 5 months and it's already hard for me to get up sometimes."

"Well, the depth of the couch doesn't help."

"It really doesn't. And hey, thanks again." she smiles.

"You're very welcome." he pulls her into a big hug.

When he breaks away, he drops down to her belly and gives it a kiss. "Goodnight, Violet."

He stands back up, "Goodnight, Vic." he says, looking into her eyes with a quick glance at her lips.

"Goodnight, Aus." she notices the glance at his lips and holds herself back from kissing him.

They turn everything off and head to their bedrooms.

They shut their doors behind them & lean their backs against them, sighing.

Austin thinks, "No. You're in love with Julie, not Vic."

Victoria thinks, "Girl no. We're not doing this again. You are in love with Ash, not Aus."

They take a deep breath, tell themselves everything is fine, and head off to bed.

——————————————————————

[writebackatya]

ITS ME IM FIRST are there any moments from your writing inspired by something that happened to you personally??

This is why you're one of the best people in the fandom, thanks!

And yeah, there are some actually

Let's start with Indi-Quack!

So in Under the Influence of Gandra Dee!, Fenton has to sober up for his m'ma after unknowingly vaping a bunch of weed. Something similar happened to me. No, I did not need get high on accident but I did have to sober up fast one time for a parent that was coming home

It was back when I still lived at my dad's house, I had just gotten out of a long day of working retail pharmacy and supposedly had the house for the evening. So yeah I wanted to get high that night. After getting out of work I went out and bought some stuffed nachos for my dinner/high snack and then went back home to get high. In the process of doing so, I get a warning text from my brother who was letting me know that he and dad were coming home. I wouldn't say I was super high, but it was enough to be a concerned and the worry just increased so I was pretty high. Quickly googled different ways to sober up from a high as I Febreezed the room and went with a cold shower. I think it somewhat did the trick, I felt more alert but also pretty awful but that's because I'm not one who takes cold showers that often

I basically felt the way I wrote how Fenton felt after he took that cold shower to sober up, less high than before but in-between this state of high and sober, not fun. Luckily my dad was none the wiser, but my stuffed nachos got cold. :(

I think I did write in the notes of Stuck in the Middle with DEW! about an experience I had with an edible, might as well give out so more deets on that. So that someone I mentioned, was actually a sibling of mine; it was back in college when we were all home for the holidays (ha-ha) she was staying the week with her husband (great guy btw) and yeah they're both stoners too. Anyway, a surprise Christmas present from her was a weed brownie. And it was good, like no joke, my siblings are amazing chefs. But she told me not to eat the whole thing in one go because she put a lot in there. So I ate half of it. Big mistake

Okay. So my bedroom was basically in the basement floor and usally the area I got high in back then, and I kid you not that one moment I was in my bedroom on my bed and the next I was in the living room (which was one floor up) lying on the floor in the middle of a conversation with that sibling who was checking up on me. That was a great high, I'm pretty sure I saw every title card for every Arthur episode I've ever watched in my mind that night

Last Indi-Quack! related one comes from What'd I Miss?!, after I wrote the scene where Gandra tells Della about one time she was high at F.O.W.L. and she could not for the life of her understand what Bradford was saying to her and winged her response and got away it was similar to two other experiences I had

So during the summertime me and another sibling thought we'd have the house for the afternoon to ourselves and you will not believe what happens next. We got high and were going to go chill in the pool. Well we got high in the kitchen and then we heard something that sounded like a car door being opened, I investigate, I see that my dad, step-mom, and half-sister arrive home, I tell my sibling, they don't believe me because this would totally be something I would lie about to just fuck with them, i assure them that it is not and quickly start spraying the room and opening all the windows, they put away the bong, we retreat to the backyard, and just wait

So long story short, they came to the backyard and talked to us and we kept a straight face. But at one point my step-mom goes to something in the backyard and asks me a question about it that I still don't know was. And after having her repeat the question twice I just responded with "Yeah, it seems to be working fine" and got away with it

And while no, I did not get high at work but one year when I was working 2nd shift on Christmas I did smoke like hours before I had to go into work, just a little, honestly just a bowl. And by the time it was for me to go to work, I honestly felt fine. It wasn't till I got to my job and started working that I was giggling, so I was teensy bit high, but I am GREAT at my job so I just played some jazzy Christmas tunes and went to work. Luckily I was by myself for those first few hours of work tho

Now let's talk about stuff more wholesome, two of the Home for the Holidays! stories hit close to home for me, When Siblings Reunite! and It's All Downhill from Here!

The former is basically how it feels to be reunited with my siblings over the holidays but with the Ducks so it's way more cooler and the sledding one is based on sledding with my cousins on Christmas which is literally my favorite thing to do with them when we did do it

The last one I'll share comes from Let's All Go to the Movies! where Dewey is bothering Gandra at the Fight Fighters cabinet (you're welcome, Gravity Falls fans!)

Now look, Dewey is my favorite triplet because I was 100% most like him when I was that age but waaaaaaaaayyy less cool. And looking back now, I probably annoyed waaaaay more people than I thought I did when ever I wouldn't stop bothering people because I was interested in them or just wanted to talk to them about whatever was going through my mind at the time. And yeah, sometimes those people would snap. Not totally lose their cool, but just snap at me in a way made the message clear to me that I was being a nuisance to them at the moment

And look, nowadays I can be quite the snarky person when I'm in a bad mood so I also relate to Gandra here. Just being somewhere you don't really want to be, being with someone who is at a social level where you're not at now while prying into your personal life that you don't really wanna discuss right now.

But here on tumblr with mutuals, never an issue

[flurty]

As I live the last few days of the first 25 years of my life, I promise to myself I will never forget who raised me to be who I am today.

I was a quiet child, one who would rather spend time thinking rather than talking. My mom told me that after the first few minutes of my being born, I simply closed my mouth and started taking in the world. And take in I did.

I took in the ways my mom lived her life, one that was fraught with hardship, trials, and tribulations. She struggled every day of my life, whether it was with addition, making ends meet, or with her mental and physical health. Every day she learned of a new pain that only she knew.

And yet, I only received delights, and happiness, and love from the woman. She work work until she couldn't move another muscle, and would continue to work to fight for our family.

She taught me to work hard. She taught me to accept my pain. She taught me to value life outside of my own. She taught me to care, and smile, and love. I was shown the beauty of this world amidst all adversity and pain and suffering, and she was my shield. My protector.

My life evolved from that observant baby to the quiet kid to the confused teenager to the uncertain man in the short time from birth to my 18th birthday. She was there every step of the way. There was never a day she was not in it.

Any day I struggled in school, she had my back and would let me cry. Any day I was injured or received a scare, she was there and had my back. Any time I was lost and confused and hopeless, she was there and had my back.

And she continued to teach me. She taught me how to make friends and how to lose friends. She taught me how to love and how to stop loving to protect myself. She taught me when to defend myself and when to step away. She taught me the world that I see today.

It wasn't until the last few years of her life where I saw a change. First it was small, she would go out and have a few drinks at a bar. Then she started clubs and made so many friends. She eventually started dating.

Then a year before it was over, she found love. Long distance, the guy lived in Mississippi and was the opposite of everything she was. And she loved him. And he loved her.

Every single day that year, I saw a woman who no longer struggled with pain because she had found her true love. While she was still in and out of many hospitals, she was happy and she had love.

I had the luck of spending that Christmas with them. I remember packing a few books, a digital camera, and barely any clothes to last me the week. Took the flight down, deboarded the plane, and the first face I saw was her. Like she had never left. Happiness glinting in her eyes, her smile spread so wide, arms facing out and I fell into my world, I hugged my mom as soon as I landed.

We celebrated Christmas with her boyfriend's family, we enjoyed every day, and her boyfriend took me out shooting. Gave me a rifle, put some bullets in with extra gunpowder, and told me to shoot a target the size of a tire.

I missed of course. I shot 12 times and hit the ground 12 times. The target unscathed.

Also, there was a LOT of gun powder in those things.

We rode home laughing and that was the day I understood why my mom loved him. He was genuine, and he had it in spades.

On that same car ride home, he pulled a box out of his pocket and showed me a ring. He asked me for permission with his eyes, and the only thing I could do was smile and agree. She's yours.

That New Years, he proposed. She cried. He cried. I cried. We laughed. We loved. They truly loved.

And a few days later, I left them, with a promise to visit for her birthday in March, even though I was already struggling with money (too tight to recount) and had no idea how I would afford the next plane ticket down.

I never got the chance to figure that out. She died in February, one month after they got engaged. I was the first to find out. I told the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth. Her fiancee, her mom, her sister, her sons, her friends. I hadn't left the stairway of the university, clinging tightly on a railing, as my first reaction was to thank the police officer for finding her and scroll down my contacts list and tell everyone one by one.

I didn't leave the school until late that day. I didn't trust myself over the bridge. I didn't even want to think. I didn't want to believe.

And now I look back on the days, weeks, months after. She never did leave me. I simply followed her steps from the first days of my life where I saw her struggle. Except I was now in her shoes.

I struggled for the next year. I felt alone, lost, and betrayed. I grieved in ways I never knew I could grieve. Pain tore at every part of my body. I forgot how to eat, I forgot how to think, I forgot how to live.

But I trusted her even beyond death. She got through it, so can I. And she taught me every step of the way of my life, to prepare me for when she was not there to help anymore. I was still able to laugh, I was still able to smile, I was still able to keep moving forward, I was still able to survive. I was able to live.

Of course, I learned that all with her. I had to relearn how to do that without my mom there.

Every thought in the days and months after she died were also followed with, "and I miss her."

Until I learned to how live for myself. Then the thought slowly went away. Sure I would think of her at least once a day. Then once every other day. It's gotten to the point where I think about her once a week. Because I retaught myself everything she taught me.

I consider that my tribute.

She taught me her life. She shared that with me. I shared her life with her. And then she died. I was living her life. Then I retaught myself how to live. And now I live my life.

A metamorphosis, if you will. Like a daring caterpillar turning into a darling butterfly. A flower pushing through the thick grass. The smile a baby shines at its mother for the first time. A final, bittersweet rendition of her song, her life. A son telling his mother that he can live on his own, she doesn't have to help him anymore, she can be free.

And yet, I still share her laugh. And I share my care and my concern. I share how hard I can work. I share how much I love. I share comfort and friendship and trust. And I no longer hurt.

She taught me how to live my own life. She taught me how to grieve for her.

I think about her once a week or so now. If the pattern continues, I'll only think of her every two weeks, then every three, then once every month, once every two months.

But. I will never forget her. I will never forget how she helped me in every part of my life. Before she died, and after she died. She will be forever a part of myself.

And, to be honest, I'm happy to share my life with her.

She'll live on in the ways I laugh and live and love, like she truly never left.

I miss you, Mom. I hope you're proud of me. I know I'm proud.

[swampndn]

CW: child sexual assault, child abuse, alcoholism

Six years ago today, I finally found my maternal grandfather’s people. I've been thinking a lot about him recently and feeling that grief of all he lost. Then I got the Facebook memory reminder. So I wanna talk about him. Feels like I should.

His name was James, and he was stolen as a toddler and sold to a Mormon family in Utah. He never knew his tribe or where he came from, just that he was Native. When he escaped as a teen, he went to Oklahoma because that's where he knew the Natives were and thought it'd be his best chance. He ended up in Vietnam, survived the Navy, came back to Oklahoma, then met my maternal grandmother (a white woman), and quickly had my mother and uncle shortly after.

My mother's mother was an evil woman. She and her entire racist ass family are. They hated my grandfather because of who he was, so much so that they lied to the courts and said that he was a drunk to take away his kids. It worked. This all happened exactly 1 year before the Indian Child Welfare Act too. Before that, he never drank in his life, but after that loss, he started and, unfortunately, couldn't stop for nearly 15 years.

My mom was then raised and physically/sexually abused by her white family. They constantly told her and my uncle that they should be ashamed of being Native because of their father, and those people did everything they could to make them white. My mom's a deeply complicated person, especially being that she couldn't break the cycle of abuse with my siblings and I. But this post isn't about her. My uncle also experienced the physical abuse, and he developed a drug addiction when he was just 12yo to cope. My grandfather developed alcoholism during this separation period, and his health began to decline.

But! Good news! When my mom ran away from home at 16yo, my father's family took her in. My mom said that she was immediately drawn to my dad because he was Native, connected to his people, and came from an unapologetically Native home. So she finally found some kind of community, and also she was finally able to reconnect with her dad. (And also in the eventual marrying of my father, they ex-communicated my mom. I got a wild story from when I was about 8yo and the first and last time I met them, but that's for a different post for a different day.)

The day she got in contact with my grandfather after being forcibly no contact her entire upbringing was the day he stopped drinking cold turkey. She talks about how after that he was at every single school event and every holiday. My uncle finally got out of there too, and he also reconnected with my grandfather. My dad's family welcomed them both.

My uncle died at 18yo from the lingering effects of his addiction about a year before I was born. It was sudden and unexpected, especially since he, like my grandfather, had stopped using when he reunited with his dad. My mom talks about how involved and happy my uncle was with my sister as a baby. He was James, Jr., but went by Jimmy mainly.

My grandfather had also been heavily involved with us, and he had some kind of prophecy gift. He predicted the sex of all of my mom's kids just by touching her belly, and he knew a bunch of other things too. He used to take my sister and I fishing nearly every weekend, and he got me a Minnie Mouse fishing pole to use. He taught my sister how to ride a bike. I was still too little for a bike, but he got me a tricyle. One Christmas, he rented a helicopter after saving up all year and flew into a neighborhood park dressed like Santa. I do wish I could remember those things firsthand, but I've been told about them and seen lots of pictures.

Unfortunately, all of that was short-lived because he died the day after my sister's 5th birthday when I was only 3yo. We knew something was wrong because he wasn't at her party, and in all this time, he never missed a single event. Even though he never drank again, his prior alcoholism was so severe that he passed from cirrhosis of the liver. My mom was pregnant with my younger brother at the time, so he never got to meet him - but my grandfather did let my mom know he was a boy. (This was back when IHS refused to do ultrasounds. You know how it is.)

He died in 1996 never knowing who his people are. There were no clues. No one knew anything until March 29, 2018.

Finding his people was completely by chance. I went on a trip in March 2018 with a now ex-partner to the Mescalero Apache rez in New Mexico to see some of his extended family. We got there in the middle of the night, and the next morning (March 29th), I went outside to see the landscape. I'd never been to New Mexico before, so I was excited to see mountains and the desert. The moment I stepped outside of the motel and saw the land, I felt an overwhelming grief that I immediately burst into tears. The only way I could describe it was the feeling of a mother who was convinced her child was no longer alive for years and years, suddenly finding out that her baby survived. I will never forget what that felt like, and honestly, now it feels even more powerful than before. I can hardly even think about it writing this because tears are happening.

As soon as I was able to be coherent again after all that grief, my first thought was that this is where my grandfather was from. I knew it. I was fully convinced. The rest of that trip I kept looking at all these Apache faces in the tribal gas station, on the road, and just around and wondering if any of them were family. So many looked familiar, but I wasn't going to do or say anything until I got home and could try and find some of my grandfather's records. Hell, I didn't even tell my then-partner about it when it happened because I wanted to be sure. He even asked me why I was crying standing outside the motel door, and I just said that the land was so beautiful that I was moved. Fortunately for me (one of the many bad signs for him) is that he didn't ask any follow-up questions, so I was able to keep it to myself for the time being.

When I got back home, I got ahold of his birth certificate, and I called the Mescalero Apache records office. After a couple weeks, it was confirmed. He even had living family still. Getting that phone call was so emotional, and I still cry about the relief and also the anger that he died not knowing. I know his spirit is at peace now, and every time I've been to New Mexico since 2018, I feel such a comfort. The land told me on March 29, 2018, and today I'm just thinking about how grateful I am that she did.

As I have been thinking a lot about grief, land, healing, legacy, blood memory, the responsibilities of parenthood, and the next seven generations recently (mainly due to a project I've been working on this week), I don't think it's an accident that today was the anniversary of that event while I go into a performance tomorrow about just this very thing: the land grieving and healing and telling us why.

There's not too many pictures of him because he was the one usually taking pictures of us. But here's a candid I have from my toddler days (mid-blink lol).

[millionancientbees]

a very long list of things to be thankful for

being overly sincere is my curse but god sometimes i am just so thankful for the big and small ways people show up for me.

my friend cassidy lets me borrow their car--sometimes for weeks at a time--while they're out of town, even though I literally just hit the one year anniversary of having my license this week. it blows me away literally every time and is so incredibly kind because it means i don't have to carefully plan around my roommates to do the things i want and need to do, which always makes me feel very frustrated and trapped because i'm 29 and have never been able to just....get in the car and go without having to check with other people first. but i get to do that with their car, and it refills my tolerance and makes me feel hopeful and free. they also bought me pirate bugs to help me deal with my thrip infestation and they offered to help me replace any plants i had to get rid of, even though they were the one who gifted all of them to me in the first place and taught me how to take care of them and to trust myself to keep something alive.

my friend chris spent like six months driving 40 minutes to my house, giving me several hours of driving training, and then driving home. sometimes several times a week. they're a paramedic and have a very busy life and they still made that time for me because they knew i needed to be able to get around. and then they drove me an hour to my hometown to make me to my test because i was too nervous to test near where we live on account of having way more experience driving where i'm from. also they just?? do things?? like they went to two different places the other day to buy me a vape. and they made me a pizza and when they didn't have toppings i wanted they just...put on their shoes and went to kroger??? and got them?? i have to prepare to go to kroger for like four days and forget half of the things i wanted. i was blown away.

my friend lavender gets me a huge bag of salted cashews every time they go to whole foods because they know i'll forget to eat enough salt and protein and get dizzy if i don't have enough easy foods. they asked chris to tighten the toilet seat when i was going to be staying there for thirteen days, knowing that i don't trust most surfaces i'm sitting on and am always afraid of shifting wrong and breaking something. they took me on the first vacation i'd been on in years and specifically planned around my size and disabilities. they always want to spend time with me and are perfectly happy to just sit and listen while i talk about random shit and they think i'm a good friend and tell me all the time despite the fact that i am very hard to get ahold of and almost never respond to things.

my sister, knowing i was going to get a haircut i couldn't really afford, messaged our hairdresser and told them she was going to pay for it and didn't even tell me. she talks to me on the phone for hours at a time several times a week and texts me memes about things i like even if she doesn't know a thing about the fandom because she knows it'll make me smile. i can call her and launch into a 45 minute full detail run down of a book i'm reading and she'll just listen and crack jokes. she understands all of my references and she knows i have to get a new toothbrush every christmas or i'll cry so she always gets me one. she drives me around my own town and points out all the cool places i'd never notice on my own and then bullies me into going to them. she takes me to the art store and will spend an hour just looking at everything with me, even though we don't need art supplies and have seen everything fifty times before.

when my childhood best friend's mom found out i was having surgery she told me to call her and let her know if i wanted anything, even taco bell delivery, and she'd get it for me. sometimes i call her and she calls me her daughter (i cry every time) and she asks about my relationships and clapped when i told her i was going back to school.

my roommate asks me if i want to go with him every time he goes to the craft store because he knows i like to touch all the fabric and ogle all of the goods.

i posted a catty, passive-aggressive status the other day and when my friend found out what it was about she asked if in the future i should call her and get it out of my system or practice what i want to say to the person instead. and i was unrepentant and said sometimes i want to be mean and i meant what i said but that i was thankful that she cares about me growing as a person and living my own values and that even if i wasn't sorry this time she was right to say what she did and she said "of course, i know you'll always listen to me. I know you." she calls me while she's working on the farm and laughs with me. she once gave me a bag full of strawberry starters that were on their last legs and said "I want to see you happy" and even though the plants didn't survive I will never forget that gesture.

lake brings me food when they eat because they know i won't eat if someone doesn't remind me. they take care of my cats when i can't make it down the stairs and they watch the silly shows i want to watch just because i rarely express interest in things like that. they read my favourite book series just to be able to understand why i cared about it so much. they make me use an ice pack when i would never do so on my own and they spent two years driving me everywhere i needed to go before i got my license.

when their gramma was still alive and needed another caretaker, their mom said "I can't think of anyone I'd rather have taking care of her than Cheyenne" and she used to sit out on the porch and smoke cigarettes with me. she invited me over for the first mother's day without my mom and fed me dinner.

anderson notices when i stop responding in the group chat for more than a few days and always messages me to ask if i'm okay. they let me lead them through barnes and noble and point at all of the books i'd read and say what i liked or hated about them and watched dungeon meshi with me and cuddled me just because.

i have new friends who remind me to do my pt and care about me and send me memes and art they think i'll like. they stay up late talking about books and games with me and have helped me get two incredibly important things to manage my disabilities that i would not have been able to afford on my own.

everyone is so nice to me and i do not know what i do to deserve it. but i am very thankful and i am very known.

[scarisd3ad]

You’re the greatest thing we’ve lost

Part of the to the end and back series

A/n - not really anything to do with Daryl or the apocalypse but a little world building so let’s travel back 6 years to when reader first left for college.

Summary - deciding to leave your family to move out of the small town you grew up in and to the city for college was a hard but necessary choice.

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With a sigh, I and my granddad finally finished packing the last bit of my belongings into the back of his pickup truck. Going to college was a tough decision, and although my grandparents would have loved me to stay back, help on the farm, and maybe work at a restaurant in town, I had my heart set on becoming a doctor. It was also a good idea. I wanted to be more than a mom, or a farm hand. I wanted to provide for my family if I ever decided to start one, and being a doctor would do just that.

“You’re not mad at me, are you?” I asked, brows furrowing together as I stared down at the cross necklace that adorned my neck. One that ended up in a drawer two months later because I decided ‘I just didn’t believe anymore’. Maybe it was because I finally could think for myself when it came to religion.

“Why the hell would I be mad at ya?” Granddad asked. I shrugged. “Dunno just- because I’m leaving,” I whispered as my arms crossed over my chest. “You need’t leave honey, need to be better than your grandma, and I,” he whispered. As tears welled up in my eyes, I nodded in agreement. The thought of leaving and never being able to return left me feeling anxious. I had the biggest dreams, but what if I was just not able to accomplish them because of my attachment to home? “What if I miss you?” I whispered. He grabbed my hand in both of his and caressed it with his thumb. “Then we’ll come out and see ya, honey”

“What if I miss home?” he sighed as he let go of my hand “Then ya can come visit, everythin’ will be alright” I nodded, Maybe everything would be alright. Perhaps I could handle it, but the thought of going to college still made me nervous. Although it was only an hour or two away, my entire life was going to change. I would have to make new friends, sleep in a new bed, and attend new classes. No longer would I be in my small town with the same 50 people in all my classes.I would no longer be sleeping in my childhood bed with my little brother no more than 2 doors away. There was going to be more than a room between my brother and me, which was something I had never experienced. “yeah” I whispered. “Everything will be alright” I added. I walked over to my brother and threw my arms around his shoulders in a tight hug.

He was only a couple of years younger than me, so this was the beginning of the end for us as we knew it. In a few years, Matt would go to college and then we’d both move to different states or towns. Then we’d only talk to each other on the phone or at Christmas and Thanksgiving. That happened to my mom and her sister, so who said it couldn’t happen to us? I desperately didn’t want that to happen. I wanted my brother to live in the room next to me forever.

“I’m gonna miss you,” I whispered as I buried my face in his shoulder. “Me too,” he whispered as his arms wrapped around my torso. “I love you so much, Matty,” I mumbled. His left hand begins to rub small circles into my back as he grumbles a quiet “Love you too” he was too embarrassed to admit how much we both loved each other; he was a typical teenager when it came to expressing his love for his family. “don’t steal my room” I giggled as I blink back tears, “I will” he said as a laugh vibrates through his chest. I slapped his arm as I pulled away from the hug. He had gotten taller than me during the summer between his freshman and sophomore years of high school, so now I sadly had to look up to even speak to him. “I do love you Matty” he rolled his eyes. “don’t call me Matty,” he murmured. Matty was his baby nickname. The nickname we’d coo lovingly when he was a baby and toddler, but now we just called him in moments like this or when we wanted to tease him. Despite his annoyance around the nickname, he’d always be Matty to me.

“My baby, my Matty!” 2-year-old me screamed when my mother tried taking newborn Matt away from me. He had always been my baby, even when I was 4 and teaching him how to talk. Or when I was 7 and walked him into his first day of kindergarten, he held onto my hand with a backpack 10 times his size on his back. And even now, when we were 18 and 16, I was going off to college and probably wouldn’t see him for months. He was still my baby. “don’t be a jerk, Matty,” I whispered as I shoved his arm teasingly. “I love you too,” he whispered as his arms crossed over his chest and his cheeks turned red with embarrassment.

Even though none of his friends were here, he still was so embarrassed to show love towards his sister. “Just come visit sometimes, okay? Don’t want you went for long” I nodded. I didn’t expect to stay away for more than a week. I knew I’d probably be right back in this driveway next weekend doing the same thing. “I won’t promise.”

“I’ll call you when I get to my dorm, k?” he nodded. “Yeah okay” I watched as his eyes pool with tears. Crying was not common for Matt; I don’t think I had seen him cry since he was 12. “I’ll miss you,” he muttered as he blinked back tears. “a lot...May-maybe I can go to Georgia State too and we can share an apartment when I move up there,” he whispered. I smiled as tears pooled in my eyes as well. “Yeah, t-that would be cool.”

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