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thevividgreenmoss · 3 years

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My grandfather was awake and lucid for a longish while between late Friday night and Saturday morning apparently first time since this past Sunday when we all thought that was It and crammed ourselves seven people in one sedan that got a flat on the way over of course (as we were leaving the handle of the screen door came off in my hand as I was closing it behind me so the vibe was very on the nose things farcically falling apart that whole goddamn day lol) but then when we made it he was smiling and laughing and talking to and teasing everyone that was there, albeit with much more effort than it would have taken him even just a week earlier when he was already in a really frail state because of his hip surgery. My sister happened to be up later than she usually ever is and got to video call and chat with him for a bit I wanted terribly for my cousin in Colorado to be able to also but by the time he could get through my grandpa's blood pressure had suddenly spiked or something and he'd drifted back into that borderline unconscious state so they didn't get a chance to talk which makes me want to claw my fucking skin off of my face but who knows maybe another opportunity will present itself hopefully it does like he suddenly became really talkative and energized the other day after not having said more than maybe a couple sentences over the few previous days like I was there with him for several hours on Thursday and the entire time he didn't say a word and only opened his eyes once for like half a second and even that I might have been imagining after sitting there sleep-deprived and holding his hand trying not to cry because then my mom would start crying and then my aunt and on and on and if he's conscious at that point he'll start to get worried and his heart rate will destabilize but after that for this one stretch without anyone expecting it he was really talkative and alert and joking around with the nurses and doctors and all that for a while but then later yesterday afternoon he started to get disoriented and drift in and out of the present in between dreaming and waking again at one point apparently he kept saying 'look at my shoes' to my mom and her sisters and they thought it was just just the medication/pain-induced delirium talking but he kept insisting and eventually said 'you're not taking me seriously' and I guess gave up? Or said it a few more times I'm not clear on the course of events I only heard all this secondhand when my younger aunt, who also got diagnosed with cancer late last year but thankfully is more or less in the clear now, got back home last night and she and I went into his room and took all the shoes out of the cabinet he keeps them in and like looked inside and turned over and examined the soles of every pair, took the cushion insert things out of the ones that had them, checked for scooby doo-esque hidden doors, all that but there was nothing there just shoes. Her kids flew back out yesterday morning, the older one's tentatively returning to Toronto in the next week or so she had a painfully rough time in some ways her first couple of years and then abruptly had to be uprooted and leave because of covid then everything with her mom and in time honored eldest daughter tradition bearing the brunt of the familial frustration and insanity associated with that and now everything with our grandpa I really really want her senior year to go smoothly and be enjoyable and memorable in a manner opposite to how this past year+ has been I'm so worried about her and her little sister's starting freshman year there in the fall and I'm terribly worried about her in a whole different way like she's still really attached to her parents in this innocent way that still strongly resembles like a baby's adoring my mom hung the moon type attachment and it can be especially hard being away for the first time ever when that's the case...like she's hyper hypersensitive even by my family's standards lmao but she does have this sort of self-possession and inner groundedness that no one can quite pin down but it's

definitely there and maybe that

could carry her through I really hope so...they were saying to come up to visit them in the fall hopefully I can find a job soon after returning to Texas and like be able to afford to do that and also like keep paying the bills and shit lol in either case I hope so so badly that they'll be okay like I think they will be the women in my family are all really strong but they've also had to be because of various fucked circumstances and I don't want that to keep having to be the case...my grandpa's a Strong Woman in a certain way also honestly lmao like my mom's aunts have always been like your father raised you in a way beyond even most mothers which like who fucking receives let alone genuinely deserves that kind of praise from their in-laws lmao let alone a man from a notoriously patriarchal culture of a generation when fathers from any culture barely had any involvement in their children's upbringing at all which I mean most still don't but even more so back then and like literally everyone we've been hearing from or seeing drop by at the hospital has a story of how at one point or another my grandpa was there for them when no one else was like distant cousins variously removed and loose family friends all with something about how he comforted me when no one else could, I remember word for word what he said to me when I suffered some loss of my own, he's the strongest man in our family, the best times we ever had were when he was near us, when he'd take us out, his youngest brother's children saying he cared for and spoiled them as if their were his own after their dad died suddenly when they were just kids, my mom's third cousin whose own father was with her till a late age saying that he was even more of a father to me than my own father, his other brother's son who was ostracized for decades by his immediate family on some straight up racist ass bullshit on the part of his mom and older brother because he married a black woman but my grandpa stayed in touch and made sure my mom and uncle did as well and made sure we all got together when he'd came to the states, like even now lying there on what very well might be his literal deathbed when he can barely talk he was telling my uncle he's worried about him and he needs to go home and rest, asking who's taking care of the house, are the kids all okay even at this point his thoughts are for others. After I put his shoes back in the cabinet I closed it and opened the one beside just in case I guess just in case what I don't know but it was just like standard cabinet stuff clothes a shaving kit and a couple of what I assume are photo albums that I didn't feel like I should open for some reason and a few old books, a collection of Ghalib's which I can't really read very easily if at all because it's in Urdu lol, a history of government college of Lahore where his father was teaching at the time of his death and the two philosophy textbooks my great grandfather had written himself, Inductive & Deductive Reasoning, and inside the latter I found a handful of yellowed pages torn out of an old notebook upon which mostly seem to be translations of french poems and I think maybe a song or two? I guess old coursework or just for funsies I'm not sure whether written by my grandfather or his own father. My khala was mentioning just the other day that she'd kept one of my grandpa's old notebooks marked as having been designated for biology but inside it were no actual notes just urdu poetry which she wasn't sure whether it was his own original tossed off work or something the lifelong frustrated creative transcribed while bored in class. The night I got here I was looking through his bookshelves after everyone had gone to bed and then a couple of weeks ago I was sitting in the living room by myself watching archer when my cousin came and sat down next to me upset and unable to sleep on her own first night here and I held her and tried not to cry and then went through the same bookshelves again, this time with my cousin who we came to Pakistan for the first time after moving to the US

to see being born who turned three

the day we arrived on what until this current trip was the last time I was here her little sister having just been born earlier that same year (whose life I may or may not have saved when I caught her after she was dropped by the person holding her (the fact that (parentheticals within parentheticals!) I may or may not have been the one who dropped her in the first place is immaterial imo not that I'm the one on trial here but what's important is that I caught her and if anything this would be an even more athletically impressive and frankly heroic incident if I'd been the one that was holding her to begin with since I was 8/9 years old at the time and there wasn't much of a distance for her to fall and yet I kept her from hitting the ground like talk about reflexes like that's what's important and what's more important than even that @ my year older cousin (whose younger sister was the first baby in the family after myself whose arrival in this world when I was three had me positively giddy in the way that young children get when witnessing the miracle of even younger children, who's the only other one of the cousins that's been here during all this, just me and the three I got to see as darling little babies) who was the only other person in the room with me at the time, is that we take this to our fucking graves no one can hear a word of this least of all any adults in the house who like not that they're the ones on trial here either but like who allowed for this scenario to transpire in the first place where two children and an infant are in a room by themselves unsupervised in retrospect that's somewhat irresponsible not that I'd ever hold it against them or even mention it because then they might get mad and not let me hold my little cousin anymore and I do love holding my little baby cousin and carrying her around everywhere, mostly without incident)) neither of whom I'd see in person again until we visited them in Canada the summer after I graduated college the trip during which I finished the last of the Neapolitan novels the day after landing and turned 22 the day after their mother, my younger khala, turned 43, looking through my nana's bookshelves with my baby cousin no longer a baby but a U of T classics major entering her senior year, noting the overlaps with our own, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, George Eliot, the same exact copies of Cheever and Kafka's collected shorts, Umberto Eco, Proust, wondering what the various titles meant to him or what they might say about him, wondering how much of even the version of him that can be hypothesized based off his library I'm missing now that I'm limited to the much reduced version of what had been in his old home in Lahore (when he visited us after my junior year of hs and my mom was trying to convince him to downsize and move in with my other aunt with whom he's been living the past several years, the one who most resembles my grandfather the only one that has his cheekbones my khala whose eyes have sunken all the way into her skull before my eyes with exhaustion and grief over the past two weeks, when my mom was like what's the point of just hanging onto a bunch of books that you've already read: I look at them [dramatic pause], and I feel happy [my mom sighing equally dramatically in.exasperation, me cracking up in the background]) the city I was born in the house where I spent the first almost five years of my life before we moved to the US to join my dad who'd moved back shortly after my mom became pregnant with what turned out to be me, abu nana's house with the garden we'd walk through every morning holding his hand and following along as he puttered around with his plants in the garden in the house in the city he had to leave to move into my khala's house in Islamabad where I've been the past almost a month now where two weeks ago he suddenly came down with pneumonia and had to be dragged to a hospital in Rawalpindi where he's been since, not in his house, my nana's house, with the garden in the city I haven't seen since the last time I was in this country the

summer I

turned nine the day after my khala turned 30 the day before my other khala turned 32(?) the summer I first remember obsessive compulsive disorder becoming an overwhelming aspect of my consciousness although it was there before, the first summer of the Iraq war and being terrified watching the Iraq war unfold on the BBC evening news my nana would turn on

at dinner time and hearing for the first time or maybe just the first time I remember the night we left the phrase 'the rich will get richer and the poor will get poorer' from my younger khala talking to her sisters and some family friends that had come over to see us off feeling terrified and cold then embarrassed because she noticed my face visibly fall from across the room and told my mom and I was like godammit everyone knows I'm scared now smhead then crying the entire flight back home because I missed everyone and maybe had a little kid premonition that I wouldn't return to my nana's house and I would be years and years till I saw any of them again some I still haven't or maybe there was nothing premonitory about it but in either case that's the way it turned out. I do feel grateful I got to see him again at all, when he last came to the US late 2016-early 2017 I was sure it would be the last time we would be in the same room. I'd make breakfast for us every morning and we'd eat together and the entire day I'd sit next to him inhaling secondhand smoke and talking and reading. I was in the midst of my initial aborted attempt to read Swann's way when he arrived. I'd gotten to Guermantes way last summer but I couldn't find a secondhand copy so I had to read it via ebook and that didn't feel right so I abandoned it until now I've been reading a copy pulled from his bookshelf. Last he visited was the first time I learned we were both Garcia Marquez-heads which I'd kind of assumed before and I showed him Mad Men which he heavily fucked with and also every John Le Carre adaptation I could track down online. From the first time I read one hundred years of solitude the summer after freshman year of college the passage describing Colonel Aureliano Buendia's death already absolutely and unbearably heartwrenching enough immediately brought thoughts of my grandfather, aching aching sorrow over the solitude that he himself existed within in all the fucking pain his life has been inordinately filled with grief over the knowledge of this inevitable final separation from him after so many years and so much distance already having separated him from the people he loved and cared for and he loved and cared for so many people so deeply with such sincerity and beauty and endless endless warmth and compassion and humor when Gabo wrote of the colonel trying to reach back through to his memories and being unable to after previously recalling that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice even years later, as he faced the firing squad, at the moment of his death like a 'baby chick' my poor frail beautiful grandfather appearing exactly the same way when he'd take off his dentures and curl over to the side to sleep, then when awake but still half asleep hearing your voice having brought his apple cider vinegar and garlic concoction or a cup of tea or just coming by to hold his hand or play with his beard the way all of his grandchildren have at one point or another and smiling with his eyes still closed smiling bright and wide the expression of a precious little cat purring as you scratch under its chin always the most beautiful smile and even as his hair turned white and his body withered and wrinkled and shrunk his cheekbones while still not bad long ago ceased being the way they were in that picture from his wedding day back when he he looked like young Robert De Niro's much much prettier Kashmiri cousin from then until now always that same radiance and those same quick-witted and kind and bright bright bright sparkling eyes. The past month and a half I've been feeling like I'm seeing my own mother dying before my eyes along with her father, my adorable beloved abu nana, I can't even begin to comprehend how she must be feeling right now I feel like I'm witnessing her death in advance through all of this and losing the part of her that is him even though I know that's not actually the case. Things have been so fucking painful and complicated between us but the one thing we've shared that's never

been painful is our love for him. When he left after his last visit four years ago I spent the next two days barely able to even talk. Compliments or like any positive comments directed in my directions have almost always caused me this reflexive discomfort and uneasiness but whenever he or anyone else would say that I'm his favorite grandchild I'd want to hold on to that as closely as i possibly can. I don't want him to leave us and more than that I want for whatever happens to at least happen with him back at home but neither of those things seem likely right now although who the fuck knows. I hope his last thoughts can be of flowers, like Kafka's, and Lispector's, or of love, wherever he is I hope it's not asking too much to hope for that at least. For someone that spent his life so deeply immersed within that Garciamarquesian solitude he never made those around him feel any way other than at home, safe and warm and loved and adored and adorable and lovable and at home not because of a place not even the garden at the house in Lahore but with him always always I've never felt more at home than during the times I spent near him, and his love and his flowers

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phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess · 3 years

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What is your opinion on straight passing privilege? I (bi) don’t think it exists, but a close (lesbian) friend of mine insists that it does bc “You can hold hands with your SO (nb cis passing man) in public without risking being the victim of a hate crime.” I have been researching but keep seeing this same argument coming up, and I’m unsure and don’t want to be making anyone upset if I’m being ignorant here.

I think that there's a lot of fucked up internet politics around who is and isn't allowed in the community. Which is ridiculous.

Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Pan, Poly, Ace, Aro, Trans, Intersex, etc.

The only people who shouldn't be in the community are cishets, and pedos, none of that 'it's a sexuality' nonsense, it's predation.

The concept of straight-passing is ridiculous, primarily because it's all based on assumptions. If you're in an m/f relationship, and you are both cis and heterosexual, it's straight.

But here's the catch, if you identify as any LGBPT+ then it's not straight.

Two trans people in an m/f relationship is not straight passing.

Two bi people in an m/f is not straight passing, it's queer babes, it's in the name. If you're bi and your partner is like, straight, it's still queer from your side of the fence.

It's the 'pick a side' argument from another direction, this straight passing nonsense. Where you are villified by the straights if you have a same-sex relationship (or fetishised, let's be real, every part of the acronymn has it's own p*rn category aimed at straight people with a kink), and if you have a relationship with the opposite gendered person, the queer community gets cranky.

Two things:

1) Is this friend between 13 and 25? Bc they could still be working this out or being mentored by t*rfs, or had some bad info. IT could be jealousy or fear of being open where you live. Perhaps you could question what makes her say that; has she had a bad experience, or did someone say this to her. where are you Are you in america? are there snake wielding jesus warriors near you? Blink SOS if you need an escape route, child

2) Who wins when everyone in the queer community is divided and policing one another? Telling everyone off for dating this person or that person or not at all

I didn't get an invite to the big queer conference to make these decisions, so like, they're not valid. It's some pocket of internet active idiots who think they can speak for everyone.

What we need to do is stop pulling this bullshit on one another and get back to asking just why the fuck it's not okay for people who are perceived as not-straight or cis etc to hold hands in public.

There's a problem for every facet of the acronym, babes and dudes and theys. Lesbians are heavily sexualised by straight cis dudes. Gays are heavly fetisihed by straight cis women. to the point where even saying 'I'm gay' is considered to be an obscene, sexual act that you should not let children be exposed to.

And there's always someone from the opposite gender who thinks they 'are confused' or 'haven't met the right (gender) person yet', or 'they could fix them with their magic genitals' or mumbled religious nonsense. There's such intense stereotypes that people can't stand women who look butch, but also you can't 'really' be a lesbian unless you are' or gay men can't just be, like, a normal dude, instead of some flamboyant in-your-face charicature.

Of course people who match the stereotype exist, too. And they get no respect for fitting into the stereptypes either, it's just another reason for disrespect. There's no winning.

Bi's can't talk to anyone without hearing a question of a threesome come up or being attacked from either side for coice of partner.

Pans, same, but also kitchenware jokes. Both Bi and Pan are considered sluts and whores and can't decide or are going to cheat, etc. Or the 'you're being special snowflakes', 'choose a side', 'you're secretly gay and won't admit / you're secretly straight and want attention' etc.

Ace/Aro - everyone under this banner gets the whole 'you just haen't found the right person' or 'when you're older/you're a late bloomer' or 'how do you know?' or 'maybe you're straight/gay and haven't worked it out yet?' invalidating them completely and trying to push sex onto them. The queer community has always let Ace and Aro in under the Bi banner, and they are welcome. But the internet community, usually young people, are tearing each other to shreds over it lmao.

Chill.

Non-binary, trans, intersex. They have been here for ages, but people from one community try to destroy their credibility, despite them existing since humanity has. It's big on p*rn and fetish sites too, lot of straight dudes think these things are hot and sexy, but would spit on trans people in the street. Hypocrites (I mean, every second low-brow comedy movie out there makes a thai-l*dyb*y joke, and how it 'doesn't count' like yikes).

Nb has only just been recognised, which is funny bc society literally made up gender and the rules and pretended that was how its encoded in DNA lmao.

Transpeople have it bad though. Between the cis straights, the cis queer community (primarily t*rfs and those who fall for misinformation) and the fetishists, and the medical community who treats them like an illness rather than people. Like, they are afforded respect if they 'pass', but even then it's still an EW factor.

Transwomen are seen as 'men in dresses who want to break into women's spaces' and treated horrifically; assaults are very high. Transmen are seen as butch women, and 'gender tr*itors' by the Crazy Motherfuckers we mentioned before; their assaults are high. They're not considered Real People unless they meet the ridiculously high standards for each gender; unless they perform Right.

I remember, but did not understand at the time bc I recall i was little, that there was a gameshpw bachelorette style and there was a big twist. You know what the twist was? That the bachelorette they'd been dating and trying to win over... was trans. I don't think that she knew it would be the big twist, either; of the two men remaining, bother were angry and one might have been sick. Might be on youtube.

But like, that's funny to the non-queer community. They put a huge fucking target on this woman's back, put her in danger of being hurt, abused, killed, by anyone who watched it. By the men who she had 'lied to' as they chose to frame it, of their weird white american families who could have sought revenge. Like yikes.

And intersex people (called h*rmaphrodites for a long time even by medical personnel) were also a p*rn category and/or medical curiosity for centuries. Not to mention all the cases of parents who just went with 'make them a (specific gender)' if there was mixed presentation, at birth, and got mad at the kids for being like "Hey so, you flipped the coin wrong and I'm ___" even thought the potential for this was always on the cards.

And the parents often make a big messa bout how their baby ___ is dead and gone, even if they DO accept the person/child as who they really are. It's like, I get it they have changed but you didn't mourn their first haircut or lost baby tooth like this and that was change too, chill.

Straight-passing is a projection and a weapon. Like, is it the people in the relationship's fault that society looks at the pair and decides they are m/f, straight and cis? Nah, it's what people are conditioned assume and that's on them.

We can't bring it into the queer spaces and keep perpetuating that shit, because it's nonsense. Queer people are dying in other countries and your friend wants to being smart-assed about the fact you hold hands with your nb datemate in public?

Nonsense. That's right up there with t*rfs and the gold-star bullshit that was going on for a few years there. Probs still is among the younger people lmaoooo.

'Passing priviledge' is a myth, and it is used to hurt people. Vulnerable people and those who need support / guidance and assistance from their queer communities more than ever. So try to talk to your friend or try The Whole Friend disposal services, either way, chill.

The real issue here is that any of us are at risk of a hate crime for daring to even show affection in public. That even in safe spaces, 'allies' and those wise enough not to be openly homo/trans/bi/pan/ace/aro/other phobic are still side-eyeing you and wanting to talk 'for you' without listening to the community itself.

We have bigger issues than this, and your friend (and some others on the internet) need to get a grip and prioritise.

[Insert strained analogy about being pro-child but childfree in a suburb where everyone got married out of high school and anticipates you and your partner will too, no matter how often you remind them No Thanks. But you babysat the other day and people thought you and your partner looked like 'naturals' when you took child to the park and played with them. And you remind them, hey, chill, we like kids too but it's not for us. And they get pissy and pushy.]

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I can only point it out from my perspective, I'm certain there other queer people from the above acronymn community who can present their thoughts on the matter to and what it means to them.

Thanks for the question, good-bi.

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tellywoodtrash · 5 years

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khkt 02.10.19 lb

i hope you guys don’t mind i haven’t been including caps in the lbs these days. it’s just that capping + inserting the images in tumblr makes an lb take 3x longer, and i really don’t want to be spending that kinda time on a show that’s not giving me much joy rn. i’ll get back to it eventually, coz i’m a visual bish, but for now it’s just too much time and energy waste.

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i hate these preview things. i hated it on ib, i hate it now. they just spoil the episode and are utterly pointless.

naren you are a rudeass fucking bitch. i'll need you to fix that 'tude before sona gets married into this house.

suman, you're right, but like.... calm down a little. sona is already hairaan pareshaan enough.

I AM MAMA BEAR SUMAN. I WILL MANGLE ALL YOU FUCKS TO DEATH IF YOU TALK CRAP ABOUT MY GIRL.

sona, you're too nice. if i were you, i'd be halfway to goregaon by now. fuck raima, fuck you sippys, and fuck romantic love and relationships and all this unnecessary bullshit.

great, half of sukhmani sippy’s staff and equipment have arrived.

........... ok but what zaroorat does rohit have of you rn, sona? you're not a medical professional, and you're really not in his good books at the moment. chup chaap khadi raho na yahin kahin pe.

bechaara ajit has to go all the way to j seth now. ouff.

bheed toh aise jamaa rakhi hai sippys ne jaise koi shooting chal rahi ho idhar. like, the majority of y'all work in a hospital, aur jaahilon ki tarah you’re just crowding the room and gawking like this.

god my heart is breaking for sona. why is she simply torturing herself?

ofc he has to be standoffish. ugh.

i am suman. SUMAN IS ME. can we just go the fuck home pls??????

ouff, sona and pulkit, you're both soft idiots.

men with eyelashes this good infuriate me.

this terrible waily music is adding to my dull headache.

dude. i get you're stressed, but come the fuck on, you were proposing to her 10 min back. you can afford to be civil. you could have said that in a polite tone. like ffs, be an adult and learn to keep a handle on your emotions for a bit. i'm so sick of men using any one (1) unpleasant emotion passing through their system as a ready excuse to be a fucking asshat.

oh great. Irritating Bong Mom is also here.

rohit what the fuck is wrong with you, you're a doctor for godssake, how the fuck is your bedroom a substitute for a hospital???? LIKE, IT'S NOT EVEN SOME RANDOM HOSPITAL; IT'S YOUR FUCKING HOSPITAL, YOU OWN IT, AND CALL ALL THE SHOTS THERE, SO WHAT EVEN..... lord i'm just so frustrated rn.

great, Irritating Bong Mom is shaking rohit like a pulp waale juice ka dabba.

MY GOD THIS WOMAN IS JUST SO SLAP-HAPPY; THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER?!?!?! AUNTY YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND SLAPPING PPL AS AND WHEN YOU LIKE.

OMFG SHE PUSHED SONA ALSO. AUNTY KA NAAM BADAL KE SHONALI NAGRANI RAKH DO, COZ SHE IS FUCKING ASKING FOR IT. SHE'S DYING FOR IT. GET THE FUCK OFF THEIR BACKS, GOT IT?!?!!?!?!?!?!?

rohit ki satak gayi hai. he's just yelling at everyone. if raima's family doesn't consent to her being treated by a particular doctor, fairly sure they have THE RIGHT to take her elsewhere. you can't hold her hostage here coz of your personal hangups.

sona, you need to stop pushing. like he already told you to leave, why the hell do you wanna tell him your truth RIGHT THIS SECOND??? there's no point telling a person who's not in the headspace to listen.

finally sona ko akal aa gayi.

GREAT NOW SUMAN IS LIKE NO WE CAN’T LEAVE, WE HAVE TO TELL THEM OUR SIDE OF THINGS. CAN YOU JUST FUCKING LEAVE THIS HELLHOUSE ALREADYYYYYYY?!?!!?!?

oh sona. :(((((((((

lmao suman has the most "coz men are trash, child" face ever as sona laments hysterically about rohit not listening.

ok dipika i love you, but the shrieking is getting hard to take.

also why is sona taking responsibility for "ruining" karan's life? self pity mein kuch zyaada hi.

oh god, slap to get her outta the hysterics. how very tv serial-ish.

and ofc she went into sadma after that. ouff this show is becoming too cliche, too fast.

who woulda ever thunk suman would be my favt character in an episode????? i didn't, and i'm quite pleased about it.

oh god she's just a child on the inside. abandonment issues to the maxxxxxxxxxxx. everyone in this show needs so much fucking therapy.

god this awful fucking music, i'm getting really mad. my sensitivity to noise is super high and this episode is just hell on my nerves.

FORWARDING. I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE.

oh so you've finally calmed down enough to be civil to other ppl, is it???? good. if you'd have yelled at tulsi also, screen mein ghusske i'd have kicked your damn ass.

RETURN OF MUSIC. UGHHHHHHHHH.

oh ho sona, give the dude some time. matlab, come on, let him breathe.

OMG ROHAN HOW FUCKING DARE YOUUUUUUUUUUU

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MAIN LIARS AUR CHEATERS SE BAAT NAHI KARTI IT SEEMS.

ughhhhhhh i really cannot with you two grossass fucks rn.

is that why you came all the way here, to demand answers as to why she spoke to pooja that way???

alice's dialogue delivery is real bad rn.

ugh literally fuck off, you losers.

sona, learn to take a hint. my god, this is such a teenager-y relationship.

lol doorbell hai sir, mandir ki ghanti nahi ki bajaaaye hi jaa rahe ho.

i know this is a dream anyway so i don't really give a shit.

i still don’t understand how a ring that is thrown can injure you BEHIND THE EAR?!?!

sis, you need a klonopin. at least a shot or two of codeine waala cough syrup to knock you the fuck out for a few hours.

wow, swift return of rationality when it came to pulki's internship.

uhhhhhh, that's EXACTLY why he chose pulkit for the internship??? coz he's your brother. literally no other reason.

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veena asking the real (but waaaaay too premature) question.

raima asking irritating question.

director asking valid question.

#kahaan hum kahaan tum #khkt lbs #episode liveblogs

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child-of-sunshine · 4 years

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Just gotta rant for a minute so this is going under a cut

I can’t stand the way tumblr in general talks about “rich people” (which they can’t define to save their fucking lives) and particularly when they mention “millionaires” as though it actually means something significant in terms of wealth.

First, no one seems to understand that by today’s inflated standards, a million dollars really isn’t that much. A quick google search will tell me that the average “middle-income” parent in America will spend over 250k to raise a child from birth to 18 years old. If a couple has 4 kids, they’re already spending over a million dollars on those kids. Yes, that’s over 18 years, but it’s still meaningful.

If a person makes 100k, which is supposedly the 85th percentile of income, it only takes them 10 years to make a million dollars. And yes, obviously they’re spending money too, and it’s not like their savings or their net worth are going to be a million in that time, but people don’t even seem to comprehend that their earnings over that time would literally be a million. Someone earning the average American income, let’s say 50k because I get conflicting information from various sources, would only take 20 years to earn a million dollars.

And calling “millionaires” (putting that in quotes because people (a) do NOT understand the difference between net worth and actual liquid assets or even income) rich, particularly in the context of the “eat the rich” rhetoric, is ridiculous. I know this site has a serious problem with black-and-white thinking, but for fuck’s sake.

Let’s take a look at my parents.

My dad grew up in a relatively low-income household. His mother’s grandparents came straight from Italy with a few dollars in their pockets and nothing else. Her family struggled to get food on the table at times. She worked very hard as a seamstress and married a man who had a good job at Ford back when that meant actual benefits including into retirement, and so they managed to raise two boys without having to worry too much about being able to afford food or housing. They saved like crazy and spent the minimum that they possibly could on themselves, so that when they reached retirement, they had a pretty decent amount of savings for the rest of their lives and could finally enjoy some luxury vacations and get a small but nice house in Florida.

My mom grew up in a truly low-income household. She was the youngest of five siblings living in a tiny, shitty town in Nowhere, Michigan, with two parents who smoked constantly, in a house that sat next to some kind of horrifying mystery waste pond (she and both of her sisters had cancer, my mom at just 36, and one of her brothers died from some kind of unknown neurological deterioration). Her father got TB and spent time in a sanitarium, after which he became a withdrawn alcoholic and then died relatively young. Her mother became depressed, stopped working, and died of cancer. My mom lost both of her parents in her early 20s, before she even met my father.

Both of my parents were gifted with the great privileges of great brains and being white. Even in their crappy hick town in the middle of nowhere, my mom managed to be in the top of her class (of 56 whole people) in high school and earned a scholarship to a state university, literally the only way she could have afforded to attend. My dad worked to pay for his college as far as I know (because back then you could actually do that). They both got bachelor’s degrees. My dad became an engineer, a good career, and quickly found a job with a relatively new, small local company. He worked extremely hard, long hours for years and moved up to being a manager, and the company has grown a lot over the 25+ years he’s now worked there, with the result that he now makes a low six-figure salary. My mom took a computer programming course after realizing her journalism degree wouldn’t get her much paid work, and has worked as a programmer for 25+ years now, switching jobs sometimes, usually making somewhere in the 60-70k range in the last decade or so.

My mother got pregnant with my sister around the time she and my dad got engaged. She was working a crappy programming job and he’d barely started as an engineer, making nowhere near six figures. They lived in a trailer park, in a trailer with a hole in the floor and steps that were a safety hazard. She’d spent some time living with her sister, who’s 13 years older than her and never had children (thus had a house and some savings). My dad’s mother, the seamstress, made my mom’s wedding dress for free as long as my mom bought the material for it, which was just about all they could afford. They had a nice, small wedding when my sister was about 2 (she was afraid of my mom’s dress lmao) and one of my cousins took the pictures.

Four years after my sister was born, my parents had saved up enough to put a down payment on our house, a moderate-sized family home in a suburban neighborhood that was just being built. The house was a little over 200k. She got pregnant with me and the house was finished just after I was born.

My mom got cancer when I was 2 years old. They haven’t talked to me much about it. Her sister spent a lot of money to buy her a really nice wig made of animal hair (which, unfortunately, she could rarely wear because it made her very itchy). She went through surgery, chemo, and radiation. She spent months sick as hell and miserable, while trying to raise two young daughters. Thankfully, they’d saved enough to be able to handle the medical bills, particularly with my dad’s good job that had good benefits and, by then, was paying him a pretty decent salary. My mom recovered, thankfully (over 20 years in remission now!).

In 2008, when the recession hit, my mom lost her job quickly. She tried finding new ones but couldn’t. No one was hiring programmers, they were getting rid of them. Her depression got a lot worse. I was in high school and depressed myself (in large part because of the situation at home, though my parents don’t know it, that became suicidal depression a while afterward), and they had to start paying for therapy for me. My sister was in college and had to try to pay for it herself because my parents’ college fund for her hadn’t gone as far as they’d hoped. My dad’s company supplies machines to auto manufacturers. They were worried. They laid off some people, thankfully not my dad, and others had to take pay cuts. My parents started sitting down and seriously going over finances. My mom and I had to completely quit figure skating, my only physical stress outlet (like I said, that contributed a LOT to the severe depression). We had to cut down the grocery bills and think about not buying gifts for family members’ birthdays and such. My grandparents, happily retired by then with good savings, paid off the rest of our mortgage and told my dad to pay them back without interest whenever he could, so that no matter what happened with the jobs, we at least wouldn’t have to worry about losing our house. I listened to my parents scream at each other over money and I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights.

Guess what? My dad is a millionaire. Definitely not in liquid assets, but in net worth he probably just barely hits 1 million. He now makes a low six-figure salary and when the economy is doing okay, he invests some of it in the stock market, mostly in low-risk stocks that are guaranteed to have payouts (I don’t know a lot about this, so that’s all I’ll say). He inherited/learned his dad’s extreme money-saving ways and saves as much as possible. He’s an engineer and very handy, so whenever possible he does home and car repairs himself to save a lot of money. I managed to get a scholarship that covered almost all of my undergrad tuition, I lived at home for half of undergrad and all of med school to save money, I worked in retail in undergrad and as an EMT in med school to pay for some of my own stuff, and they didn’t pay for any of my med school tuition, so that’s it for their educational expenses for me. My mom’s had a good, stable job for the last few years that pays in the low 80k range, I think. We live in a house worth ~250k that we now fully own thanks to my grandparents.

A few years ago, my dad’s brother bought a crappy, tiny, nearly-condemned cabin in the woods up north for about 20k (seriously, it was shit). He and my dad put in a few hundred dollars and a TON of time and manual labor to fix it up, and now we pay half the bills on it and both of our families use it for vacations. We have a small (19ft) boat that my dad bought as a gift for my mom when she had cancer--he got it extremely cheap from a guy who’d bought it, barely used it, and just wanted rid of it. It’s a 1994 and full of problems now, but we’ve managed to keep it going (barely, at times) and my dad has taken really good care of it over the years. A friend of my dad’s got him into snowmobiling about a decade ago and once his brother bought the cabin and they fixed it up, my dad got a cheap, crappy used snowmobile, which he used for a few years before reselling it and upgrading to an actually nice, new one, because yeah, he could afford it. He’s upgraded a couple times, good for him. When I actually have the time off, I go up with him in the winter and ride one of his old ones that he kept and fixed after it had an engine problem. It doesn’t cost much to renew the trail permits each year and I borrow my uncle’s gear for riding, so other than the initial cost of the sleds, it really costs us nothing to go riding (gas is extremely negligible in snowmobiles, they can go 120+ miles on a single 8 gallon tank, and we store them ourselves at the cabin so we don’t pay for that). We store the boat in our garage at home (like I said, it’s small) so other than the permit and gas for that when we take it out, again, really no continuous expense.

My parents pay all of their taxes without trying to do any bullshit work-arounds. They don’t have a lawyer or a tax accountant or a financial advisor, my dad does it all himself. He keeps track of all of our finances himself. We don’t pay a landscaping service or a cleaning service or any of that crap, we do it all ourselves like any other middle-class family. My mom donates regularly to charities for cancer, animal rescues, and injured veterans.

But to tumblr, incapable of seeing nuance, we’re “one-percenters (absolutely nowhere near true) who own a house and have a ‘vacation home’ and a boat and recreational vehicles” so we’re pretty much just as bad as Bezos, because anyone who isn’t actively struggling to put food on the table or in horrible medical debt because of our disaster of a system is apparently “rich” and there’s no such thing as shades of gray.

#sorry that was insanely long #no one will read it though so it doesn't matter #that's why I made the read more #just needed to write down thoughts and bitch #I hate the politics on this site #so many good ideas SO badly implemented #the splitting on here is completely fucking ridiculous #and I'm really sick of seeing things that imply me or my family are evil and inherently bad for existing comfortably #and going on occasional vacations #and being able to afford the medical bills when I got a tumor and needed surgery

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ticklystuff · 2 years

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ughalsnsk I have to rant a bit aldksldm hate my family

Most of what‘s left of my dad’s family resides in the Philippines. My aunt on my dad’s side never married (she’s had girlfriends before but nothing past that) but she did adopt my cousin when she was young. Adopted cousin never finished high school and was a teen mom and when her son was born, she left her child in the care of my aunt and ran off with the baby daddy. A few years ago, my cousin got a stroke (paralyzed from the waist down and unable to speak) and baby daddy dumps her at my aunt’s front door because he can’t afford her medical bills.

Around thanksgiving, aunt was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. She’s had problems breathing before, but she’s a very stubborn lady and convinced herself she’s fine, until she felt like she was drowning one day. She’s on life support right now and her chances of living are slim and we’ve all accepted by now she’s gonna die and she’s planning on having the doctors pull the plug once my dad flies to the Philippines to sort stuff out with her.

The biggest challenge once she’s gone, though, is that there will be no one to care for my cousin and her son once my aunt is gone. Her son is 19 now and is close to finishing high school. Music is his passion and he’s very talented and he’s part of a band and he used to make money from doing gigs, but that’s obviously not an option now because of COVID. My dad offers to help him out, but only if he promises to attend college and get his bachelors in a field that will land him a job my dad considers “worthwhile”. It’s kinda shitty being forced into a field you don’t enjoy (they pulled the same shit on me and threatened to cut off my college funding if I didn’t switch from psych to something else lmao gotta love tiger parents) but also I kinda get it because my dad isn’t obligated to help them and he wants to make sure his money is being used in the safest way possible.

My mom, though, is super opposed to helping them for some reason, which is really ironic because my parents are Catholic and my mom is constantly donating to the church, but she refuses to help out my dad’s family??? At one point, she kept pressuring me to donate to the church too or a charity when I got my first job, but my first job was at Starbucks when I was making hardly anything. Also, she keeps saying that if my dad helps them, then they’ll just become reliant on him and won’t be able to support themselves. The thing is, though, that’s literally my mom?? No offense to her, but my dad makes so much money that my mom kinda just does whatever she wants and hardly makes any monetary contribution and y’know people shouldn’t throw stones when living in glass houses. Like, she wouldn’t have this life that she has now without someone heavily supporting her. Also, it’s not even her money. She has a habit of doing this with trying to control funds that aren’t hers and she’s done it with me before too and it’s so fucking annoying. Like, my dad has every right to support his own family with his own money. Another thing is that she also doesn’t want my dad going to the Philippines because she sees no point, but like that’s literally his sister and one of his last few family members that is still alive like wtf

TL;DR: i gotta move out lmao

#long post

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years

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Survey #112

“i’m like a jesus crisis.”

Have you ever kissed someone who was drunk? He wasn't wasted or anything, but I'm pretty sure he was drunk with how ungodly talkative he was, and was way more expressive of emotions than he naturally was. Do you like going to weddings? I do again now. Although I haven't been to one since recovery, I'm sure I'd handle it fine and actually be happy this time. I need to get more comfortable in that setting since I'd actually really like a big part of my hopeful photography career to be weddings. Such a big celebration of love is something I adore. I already just like taking pictures of couples. Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? BECAME pregnant, uh, I think a person I'm actually doing pictures for in January. Beach, city, or mountains? M O U N T A I N S. DAMMIT they're so beautiful. You get a call at 2:00 a.m. - your first thought is: My instinctive answer to this question is, "is something wrong with Sara?" I live with my mom and sister, so it wouldn't be them, and it's not like Ashley calls me if there's trouble, she'd call Mom. Dad would call Ashley. She's pretty much the only thing that would come to mind if someone called me at 2:00 A.M. Future names of your children: I'm not having kids, but I'd absolutely name my daughter Alessandra and my son probably Luther, Vincent, or Victor. How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? She's aware I'm a virgin but have "done things." Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses’ names? Nick and very recently Joshua. I don't know if one's married or anything whatsoever, two are in relationships, idk about my brother. Do you think age matters in relationships? In romantic relationships, yes. What brand of face wash do you use? Biore. What’s the last letter of your last name? S Did your parents give you an allowance as a kid? No, we couldn't afford to do that. Would you ever consider moving to another country for your career? No, and that's the reason I'm not pursuing being a meerkat biologist. Do you have any lingerie? Lol no, no one wants to see me in that. What was the shortest amount of time you knew someone before dating them? A few weeks. Maybe a little less than a month. What is your favorite app on your phone? Fuckin' thanks Sara, DragonVale. I love Pinterest more when I actually go on it, but I don't use it a lot. Which of your pets were you closest to in your lifetime? The dog I have now, Teddy. Who are you most proud of? Myself. I don't mean that in an arrogant way, but seriously. I don't over-exaggerate what I've been through, but I don't make it sound lesser than what it was, either. I know I should be proud. When you’re eating pizza do you add anything like crushed peppers, parmesan cheese or hot sauce to it? No. Jason got me into adding hot sauce to jalapeno pizza (we wanted death, I know), but I don't do it now. Loved it, but I think it being slightly less hot was more enjoyable. When was the last time that you plucked your eyebrows? I've never plucked them; I used to get them waxed, but no longer do. Don't see the point- they're just going to grow back, and quickly, and I'm not wasting money on that maintenance. It's not like normal eyebrows are hideous anyway. Do you ever argue or debate with people about your beliefs? I will avoid this at all costs. I hate it. When’s the last time you had Sunny D? Holy moly, I couldn't tell you. But it used to sometimes give me heartburn, so I could only fucking imagine drinking it now if I hadn't taken my heartburn medication. Would you turn a family member in if you see them commit murder? Duh. Would you risk your life to save a total stranger? A total stranger, honestly, no. I don't know anything about that person. Could be a piece of shit. Have you ever embarrassed someone intentionally in public? I don't remember ever doing so, and I never could now. As someone with AvPD, I know how fucking awful embarrassment can be. Plus it's just rude to try to make someone uncomfortable like that. Are you more likely to believe a man or woman? I'm perfectly aware this is wrong, but a woman. I'm afraid of and don't trust men. Are you satisfied with the picture on your ID card? Hell no. Thank God I look like a totally different person now. What fruit did you last eat? Hmmm, maybe strawberries? What font do you use most? I prefer Garamond for basic things. Are you allergic to anything? Pollen, big time, and silver. Where is your dad from? Ohio. ... Or maybe he was born in Michigan but grew up in Ohio. Idk. Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? Ashley's co-worker's. What was the first thing you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. And it's still the only thing I know how to cook lmao. What are some wild animals commonly found where you live? Squirrels and birds are the only things you commonly see. But you'll see a deer sometimes, too, and more rarely a rabbit. I think I've seen a fox once in my entire life. Oh yeah, you'll see possums and raccoons sometimes at night. Does it take a lot to make you cry? Noooope. Well, yes to physical pain. What’s the longest hospital stay you’ve had? For what? Uhhh I think I was there for two weeks. Mental stuff. Do you know any same-sex married couples? Hm... I actually don't think I personally do. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? There was a point where we dated, Jason was like my only real life friend lol, so he was. Now I call my girlfriend my best friend, but if you don't include s/os, then my current one would be a guy. Skim, 1%, 2% or whole milk? Eh, probably 2%. Was the last person you kissed physically attractive? Personally, I wasn't physically attracted to him. But he's definitely not an ugly guy or anything. Do you prefer to say “haha” or “lol?” I'd say I use them just about the same amount... maybe "lol" more? How many stories does your house have? One. Were you dreams very vivid as a child? Yes. Do you eat meat? If you do, what is your justification for it? Yes. One, the human diet is meant to contain meat. It's much easier for our bodies to receive the nutrients it needs with meat. Two, it's part of population control. Yes, I know, you could argue the exact same for humans, but it's not like a sane person's gonna start eating humans. Three, it's just the food chain. Humans are on top of it. The process of killing an animal for food seems horrible and cruel, I know, and I doubt I personally could do it unless it was a survival situation, but I don't see it as morally wrong. Do you think that time travel is a possibility? I don't think it's possible, really. And if it ever happened, you can bet we'd fuck shit up. Do you enjoy night or day better? I've actually gotten to where I enjoy day. I strangely have a much higher chance of experiencing anxiety at night, which has kinda turned me away from it. Plus I have more energy and am generally in a better mood over all in the early day. Have you ever been to a protest? No. But the more and more passionate I get about gay rights, I'd absolutely partake in a *peaceful* protest regarding that subject now if one was nearby. Worst decision you ever made? Let a heavily flawed person essentially become God to me. Do you like to hang out with friends one-on-one or in groups? Eh, depends on the mood of those who would be involved, including myself. Bambi or Nemo? Nemo. I've actually never seen Bambi, but I love Nemo. Lil cutie. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Don and Aaron, yeah. Well wait, Juan too, but I barely even consider him an ex. Has your partner ever accused you of cheating, when you actually didn’t? No. If your hair is long, would you ever think about having it cut short? Or, if it’s short, would you like to grow it long? I have a short portion on the left and then the rest is shoulder-length. After seeing myself with a bit of short hair, I'm thinking of getting a purely short haircut eventually. Built my confidence up when Mom said she thought I'd probably look nice with a short hairstyle after seeing my new haircut. It'd be something different. What area of science interests you the most? Genetics. Have you ever been in an inflatable bouncy house? Yeah. Do you think there will be a WWIII? Yes, eventually. I don't think humanity's going anywhere too soon, and there's too many militant people. What are things you’re exceptionally good at? Uh. Going into full-blown panic mode over stupid shit?? That's my specialty. Do you have any good book ideas? I think a ton of the stories within my friend group's RP would make amazing novels, but I highly doubt any of us will ever actually make books about it. In all honesty, can a person be too nice? Mixed feelings. I just don't think some people deserve being nice to, but a part of me says you should treat everyone with kindness regardless, all the while not letting people get away with shit. Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? Fuck yes it can be. Some people will take one worse than the other, but both are fucking awful. Both can ruin someone's life. Zelda Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I have zero interest in Zelda. Do you own a rosary? I'm sure I have one somewhere. I was raised Roman Catholic, and essentially every Catholic has one. What's the hardest game you've ever played? Fucking Dark Souls. I gave it a good effort, but did nooot get that far. The difficulty honestly drained all the fun out of it. The hardest game I've ever beaten, uhhh... omg. Maybe it was just my age/when I played it, but "The Legend of Spyro: The Eternal Night" was so. Fucking. Hard. It literally took me a year or so playing it on-and-off to beat it. Fantastic game, but my god it was hard. "Parasite Eve" was also pretty damn hard (mostly thanks to the last boss, jc), but I definitely beat it faster. Would you ever try Fear Factor for one million dollars? Why or why not? No, wouldn't see the point in wasting the time. I KNOW I would never get past the second day where you eat some crazy shit. Nope. Couldn't do most things they do due to me being a germaphobe, either. If you have a camera, when do you use flash? I never do because I hate the lighting personally, plus the red eyes are just no. I'd need to learn more about properly using it. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy and Grandpa. What color do you usually paint your nails? I don't paint my nails. Do you look better with red lipstick or black lipstick? I personally think black. It fits me better. How many times have you actually been in love? Once. I'm not to that point in my current relationship, but I most certainly love her. There's a difference. How many pills do you take a day? Five. Have you ever been around someone who was high? Yeah. Do you want a church wedding? Definitely not, that's way too traditional for my taste. Have you ever met any celebrities? Lol you don't meet celebrities among my interests in NC. One day. Have you ever tried archery? No, but I was interested in it once. Favorite foreign food? Hm. I'm not sure. Were your ancestors royalty? I only know of Queen Victoria. Does your house have air conditioning throughout, or do you have one that sits in your window? Throughout. Would you ever move to Canada? Sure. I mean it wouldn't be my first pick for sure, but there's beautiful landscapes, and it at least seems to have way less drama than here. What about Kansas? Tornado Alley? Fuck that shit. When you go swimming, do you put your hair up or down? I keep it down. What do you think is the coolest piercing on someone else? Ohhh. This really depends on the person. Coolest... probably collarbone dermals. If mine were actually prominent and dermals didn't make me nervous, I'd probably have them. They're beautiful, but seem super painful. And risky. Are you attracted to girls? I've pretty quickly realized I'm more attracted to them than men both physically and emotionally. Growing up what were your favorite cartoon characters? I loved both Pikachu and Ash. Do you know anyone in a wheelchair? I don't believe so. If heaven or hell didn’t exist and wasn’t a reward would you still make an effort in being a good person? Duh. Do you want your kids to go to church, synagogue, temple, mosque? Why? If I had kids, I wouldn't force them to go. I don't even go. Do you think starting a gofundme is begging or helpful? It can be either depending on the reason and person's honest intentions. Could you put your dreams on hold to support your bf/gf pursuing theirs? On hold? Yes. How long should sex last? It depends on the couple and how they're feeling. But once one person wants to stop, you stop. Five year plan? Go! Move out and have a stable job. Those are the main two things. Other things will fall into place. Can you be content if you are physically uncomfortable? I couldn't be. Do you have pictures of your friends, and family in your bedroom? No. How old were you when you went on your first date? That was like 7th grade, don't know age. Me, Aaron, and I think two other friends went to a roller rink. It was enough of a date for middle schoolers lol. Have you ever had surgery, if so for what? Tubes put in ears when I was 2, pilonidal cyst surgery July this year. Have you ever seen a shark, and if so, were you scared? Never in the wild, just in aquariums. They never scared me. Such majestic creatures. Now if I saw one in the ocean, yeah, I'd be scared. Have you ever gone fishing, or is that totally yucky? Fishing with Dad may just hold my all-time favorite childhood memories. One of my most cherished memories is this time Dad, Nicole, and I woke up really early to go out on the boat at the nearby river to fish 'til around noon, when activity slows down. So peaceful and beautiful out there, I'd love to fish there again with him. I remember it so clearly that I can recall I packed those tiny 3 Musketeers chocolates and Nicole brought Snickers, lol. Didn't have breakfast since we left so early. Man... so many good memories related to fishing. Do you enjoy museums, or think they are totally boring? I. LOVE. Museums. Do you think illegally downloading things is wrong? My conscience says yes. You're stealing. Yet I still download music. Oops. Have you and your friend ever liked the same guy/girl? Not that I know of. Do you tell your best friend everything? I tell Sara just about every little thing. Ever taken any lessons for anything? Guitar lessons, yeah. Do you call it pop, soda, or fizzy drink? Soda. Do you like french fries, cheese and gravy mixed together? Uh, that sounds horrid, even without the fact I hate gravy. Do you live in a house, apartment, or what? House. How hot does the temperature get in the summer where you live? Mid-high 90s, low 100s. Sometimes high 80s. When was the last time you had a headache? What about stomachache? Headache, a couple days ago or so. I get them a lot. Stomachache, not since I got sick two or so months back. Where is your second home? Uh. I guess my dad's? Honestly, could you live without your computer? Honestly, after being exposed to one for so long, I couldn't live happily, no. Not unless I just adjusted to not having one after a very, very long time, but I don't even know if that would happen. What is more annoying, people who take forever to reply to texts or when they only say ‘K’? I stg do not reply to me with just "k." Is family the most important thing in your life? If not, what is? My definition of family is different than the traditional. Just like friends, for me, you pick "real" family. Say I'm related to an absolute asshole; by actual definition, they'd be family, but to me, nope. I can put other people above "actual" family, so to answer the question, not necessarily. After taking a shower, do you change in the bathroom or the bedroom? Bathroom. Are you completely over your last relationship? There was nothing to get over. I never got to where I loved him and doubt I ever could. It was just awkward. Last 3 movies you watched? "Monster House," "Corpse Bride," and uhhh... pretty sure "Coraline." Do you get stage fright? Well, when I used to dance, it wasn't that bad since I was with others. Now, I'm not so sure how I'd be. When was the last time you read a whole book, to the last page exactly? February. Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? Pretty sure yes. Do you love your computer? MY laptop, yes. The one I currently have to use, ew. Is there an outdoor movie theater where you live? No. Have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? Both. Mom claimed she wasn't, but I think she was. Do your parents vote? Mom does, idk about Dad. What’s your favorite thing to eat during a movie? Popcorn. Do you like cherry Pepsi? I like cherry Coke. Would you rather live without your Facebook or Tumblr? Facebook. What Lisa Frank character is your favorite? Ohhh, the angelic cat. If you inherited a large sum of money what is the first thing you’d buy? A train ticket. What did you do with your baby teeth when they fell out? Mom kept them. What is the last thing you took a photograph of? My snake. <3 Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? It's technically a bookshelf I think, but we store our DVDs there. If you answered yes to the above, are your books ordered in a special way? The DVDs are in alphabetical order. If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? If they were guaranteed to not attack their owners/be docile and I could care for it appropriately, sure, I'd keep a smaller raptor. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? It's not consistent. If you could choose only one thing from Walmart, what would it be? Hot fries or Takis, depending on my mood. Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head? Dye everything.

#survey #quiz #questions

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bondsmagii · 7 years

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here’s the rest of those questions because I can’t resist a challenge

1: Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

I don’t actually use any of them... used to use Spotify until it betrayed me by capping me at 10hrs of music a month. like bitch I listen to 10hrs in a day lmao. at the time I couldn’t even afford the small monthly charge so I stopped using it and now my petty ass won’t give them a penny.

2: is your room messy or clean?

clean but cluttered. there’s nothing gross like trash or used plates, but there’s a lot of random stacks of paper, books, notes, etc. it’s alright at the moment seems there’s been a recent tidy, but usually it’s very cluttered.

3: what color are your eyes?

green! I also have heterochromia, so there’s a thin ring of brown around both irises, and a small slice of brown in one eye.

5: what is your relationship status?

dating @karlacton and have been since 2015!

7: what color hair do you have?

it’s black, which is pretty cool. emo me loved it.

8: what kind of car do you drive? color?

I drive a renault and it’s silver!

9: where do you shop?

like.. for what? groceries? clothes? books? because aside from “tesco” I couldn’t tell you, it’s usually all online. if I’m splashing out on books I’ll go to Waterstone’s.

11: favorite social media account

I hate them all. release me.

12: what size bed do you have?

a queen, I think? or a double? I don’t even know if there’s a difference.

13: any siblings?

one older brother, deceased.

15: favorite snapchat filter?

I don’t have snapchat.

16: favourite makeup brand(s)

I don’t know shit about makeup.

17: how many times a week do you shower?

it sounds bad because it averages out to three or four times a week, but when you remember that my days are frequently 36-48hrs long, it averages out to about every other day.

18: favorite tv show?

I don’t own a TV or keep up with much shows, but I do binge-watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

19: shoe size?

uk size 7.

21: sandals or sneakers?

sneakers. fuck sandals.

22: do you go to the gym?

lmao

23: describe your dream date

good food, scary movies, urbexing, driving around to good music, more good food. an equal balance of opportunity to talk and opportunity to see if the silence is comfortable.

24: how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

I don’t carry cash. or a wallet, for that matter.

25: what color socks are you wearing?

black.

27: do you have a job? what do you do?

I do, but I can’t go into specific details. it’s to do with computers and security.

28: how many friends do you have?

I got no fucking clue my dude. depending on the definition of friend, anywhere between 2 to 15 or so.

29: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

you’d probably have to ask somebody else if I’m honest, I don’t have a good grasp of what’s actually bad or not lol. there’s stuff I might consider bad for a while, but then I get over it and stop seeing it as such a big deal. there’s some stuff that might count from a legal standpoint, in terms of like I don’t know, how seriously it would be taken, but I’m not sure of the statute of limitations on it so fuck if I’m mentioning it.

32: 3 favorite girl names?

saoirse, vesper, oksana

35: who is your celebrity crush?

bitch colin firth

37: do you read a lot? what’s your favorite book?

I read a hell of a lot, usually between 2-4 books at the same time. as for favourites I have way too many, so if you wan recs keep an eye on my reading list and see what I’m screaming about.

38: money or brains?

brains. if you play your cards right, brains can get money.

39: do you have a nickname? what is it?

people who know me in other places call me Rat, either because I like the animal or because of the hacker from The Core; people who know me from the SCP Foundation call me Konny or Kon, after the character.

41: top 10 favorite songs

right now:

Space Oddity by David Bowie

Never Quite Free by The Mountain Goats

We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel

The Longest Time by Billy Joel

Brothers on a Hotel Bed by Death Cab For Cutie

Blame by Bastille

Tomorrow Will Be Kinder by The Secret Sisters

Nothing to Remember by Neko Case

All Alright by fun.

The Spine Song by Cake Bake Betty

this changes like, daily, by the way.

42: do you take any medications daily?

nope.

43: what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

normal? bit dry in some places at the moment though, but it always is at this time of the year -- the cold air coming down from the mountains will blast freeze anyone’s skin.

44: what is your biggest fear?

the current rise in fascism erupting into another world war or holocaust.

45: how many kids do you want?

ideally I would have wanted two or three, but life circumstances have made it so it’s best I don’t have children, unfortunately.

47: what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

the place in scotland is a three-bedroom flat which is quite large. the place in london is a two-bedroom flat which is slightly smaller but still big for that area of london.

48: who is your role model?

writing-wise, john le carré and stephen king. life-wise, kim philby for the scamming and productivity, and lord byron for the scandal.

49: what was the last compliment you received?

I can’t even remember. probably something to do with my writing, as I’ve been sharing that with some people recently.

51: how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

santa is real my good bitch

52: what is your dream car?

literally no idea.

53: opinion on smoking?

I smoke occasionally and don’t care if people choose to or not, however I support the smoking ban in public areas and I will be an asshole and cough loudly if you blow it directly in my face.

54: do you go to college?

graduated.

55: what is your dream job?

anything fast-paced, high-risk, and that requires me to constantly keep learning and improving myself to keep up.

58: do you have freckles?

some in the summer, across my nose and cheeks.

60: how many pictures do you have on your phone?

a couple of hundred.

61: have you ever peed in the woods?

absolutely. it’s a necessity when homeless/on road trips.

62: do you still watch cartoons?

nope.

63: do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

never been to Wendy’s so McDonalds by default. love me some McNuggets.

65: what do you wear to bed?

sweatpants, an old t-shirt, and a hoodie. it’s the mountains, I need to wrap up.

66: have you ever won a spelling bee?

nah, we don’t have them here but I did come top of my class during spelling tests all through primary school.

67: what are your hobbies?

reading, writing, photography, urban exploring, paranormal research, soviet history, researching espionage, meteorology, a whole load of things.

70: what was the last concert you saw?

florence and the machine probably.

71: tea or coffee?

both depending on my mood, though I go through stages of drinking one more than the other. right now I drink more coffee than tea.

72: Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

never been to Dunkin Donuts, so Starbucks.

73: do you want to get married?

one day, hopefully.

74: what is your crush’s first and last initial?

CF, take a wild guess lmao

75: are you going to change your last name when you get married?

acton and I have discussed if we ever get married, finding a cool name we both like to change our last names to. so maybe.

76: what color looks best on you?

green.

77: do you miss anyone right now?

not really, to be honest. I don’t miss people often. I might have moments of oh, I wish they were still in my life, but it’s never a constant thing, thankfully. it sounds like it would be a drag.

78: do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed right now, we need all the heat conservation we can get.

79: do you believe in ghosts?

hell yeah I do. had lots of experiences too!

81: last person you called

my boss?

82: favorite ice cream flavor?

mint choc chip.

83: regular oreos or golden oreos?

regular.

84: chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

both.

86: what is your phone background?

lmao it’s a picture of julian assange because I live to annoy him.

87: are you outgoing or shy?

I’m very outgoing. a lot of people think I’m shy but actually I just go through stages of being really anti-social.

89: do you like your neighbors?

I have no major issues with them but they’re a weird bunch. the downstairs neighbour I’m pretty sure is a ghost, and the neighbours across the way are so strange. they do DIY in the dead of night and several of them just sit in their cars at 3am with the lights on, staring at nothing. odd.

90: do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

when I shower, or if I have something on it. I don’t have a routine.

91: have you ever been high?

yes.

92: have you ever been drunk?

way too many times.

95: summer or winter?

aesthetically? winter. in terms of not feeling suicidal all the time? summer.

96: day or night?

night. I’m a night hoe.

99: what is your zodiac sign

aquarius, watch out.

100: who was the last person you cried in front of?

no one bitch... I don’t cry

#about me

13 notes · View notes

felthief · 7 years

Note

all of them

CODIE LMAO I’M GONNA PUT PEANUT BUTTER IN YOUR SHOES

anyways phew here goes

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Definitely Spotify

is your room messy or clean? Usually it’s fairly clean, not spotless or anything, but i never let it get too dirty.

what color are your eyes? Brown

do you like your name? why? I literally hate my name, it doesn’t fit me at all. ;(

what is your relationship status? Taken :U

describe your personality in 3 words or less Tired, Objective, Worry-wart

what color hair do you have? Brown

what kind of car do you drive? color? lmao i can’t drive 8)

where do you shop? Walmart mostly

how would you describe your style? Comfortable – I wear pajamas and t shirts a lot.

favorite social media account this one?? i guess

what size bed do you have? A Queen :3c

any siblings? I have an older half brother, an older half sister, a twin sister, and a little brother

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Honestly I would probably pick any big city that’s LGBT friendly. I can’t live in a rural setting or i’ll die

favorite snapchat filter? they change all the time, i just like looking at the new ones

favorite makeup brand(s) i don’t wear makeup

how many times a week do you shower? Three, usually

favorite tv show? UUUH. Stranger Things. 8) Or Voltron. Fcuk. I can’t pick.

shoe size? 6…:(

how tall are you? 5′6″

sandals or sneakers? Sneakers, I’m a clumsy fuck so i gotta protect my toes

do you go to the gym? can’t afford that shit

describe your dream date *ALARM NOISES*

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Uhhh I have a 15$ walmart gift card and a 5$ starbucks gift card and that is literally it

what color socks are you wearing? I ain’t wearing socks, my feet are naked and free AS THEY SHOULD BE

how many pillows do you sleep with? Two. I used to sleep with three but I’ve had to suck it up and stop that cuz it was killing my neck. Now I just hug the 3rd one at night

do you have a job? what do you do? I am a comic artist which is kind of a job?

how many friends do you have? Uhhh..so many.. I just never talk to them becuase I’m a shit and don’t know how to maintain relationships

whats the worst thing you have ever done? I cut a friend out of my life and blocked her on everything because she was manipulating the fuck out of me and tbh to this day i still feel guilty but I think I’m better off

whats your favorite candle scent? Oh man. Danna has this candle that’s called like peach Bellini and I want to rub the wax all over my naked body

3 favorite boy names Oliver, Aiden, Zieke

3 favorite girl names Jade, Aria, Victoria

favorite actor? Thomas Dekker

favorite actress? Abigail Breslin

who is your celebrity crush? I don’t really have one tbh though I DID have a huge crush on Thomas Dekker until I was like 20

favorite movie? PACIFIC RIM

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Hell i haven’t read in years, but I loved The False Prince (I’m reading the sequel now)

money or brains? what is the context? If it’s in dating then usually I would choose neither cuz money isn’t important beyond being able to live semi-comfortably and brains isn’t something I look for cuz I’m dumb as shit and don’t like it when I’m around people who make me intimately aware of it

do you have a nickname? what is it? I have. So many. 8) Lucifer, Lucifene, Lou, Lee, Lucinfeff, Lucinfeffer and that’s really just the tip of the fucking iceberg

how many times have you been to the hospital? at least 10

top 10 favorite songs pretty much anything by Motion City Soundtrack, Issues, Carlie Rae Jepsen, or Troye Sivan tbh

do you take any medications daily? Antidepressants and Anti-anxiety medications

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Oily as sin

what is your biggest fear? Being alone

how many kids do you want? I want one. Sometimes. Other times I want none. I feel like I will regret not having one when I’m too old to consider it any more.

whats your go to hair style? Cropped I guess? It’s usually about ¾ of an inch long

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) A small apartment with a weird layout and a kitchen the size of a shoebox

who is your role model? i aint got one of those

what was the last compliment you received? An older lady I go to group therapy said I look like a cute boyfriend she had when she was younger

what was the last text you sent? I texted my dad telling him his tracfone was going straight to voicemail

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? Probably around 10, I don’t really remember

what is your dream car? i don’t know anything about cars :D Something modern and colorful with lots of room inside and gets good gas mileage

opinion on smoking? You shouldn’t do it and I’m a hypocrite

do you go to college? I used to but it was too expensive

what is your dream job? Something low-impact where I don’t have to talk to a lot of people. Data Entry I guess?

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Suburbs for sure I would die out in the country

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? hell yeah I do

do you have freckles? I have some, up by my eyes, but they don’t show much unless I get some sun

do you smile for pictures? Sometimes :U

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 174

have you ever peed in the woods? Nah

do you still watch cartoons? Yep. All the time. Why not?

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? MCDONALDS FOR SURE I WOULD DIE FOR THOSE CRISPY GOLD NUGGETS

Favorite dipping sauce? Sweet n Sour

what do you wear to bed? Underwear and a T-shirt

have you ever won a spelling bee? I’ve never even been in a spellin bee

what are your hobbies? Drawing and sleeping

can you draw? yes

do you play an instrument? I used to play the Flute in middle school band until my bandmates stole it and hid it so I’d get kicked out. They told me to leave and I wouldn’t so I guess they took matters into their own hands ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

what was the last concert you saw? I’ve never been to a concert, that shit’s for rich people

tea or coffee? Coffee

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? I’ve never had Dunkin Donuts so I guess Starbucks

do you want to get married? no lmfao why would I saddle someone with my shit credit score and $50k of debt

what is your crush’s first and last initial? what is this crush shit u talkin bout

are you going to change your last name when you get married? i aint gettin married, damn

what color looks best on you? red? blue? black? i dunno man

do you miss anyone right now? a few people yeh

do you sleep with your door open or closed? Both

do you believe in ghosts? I have seen some shit so I’m gonna go with yes

what is your biggest pet peeve? loud chewing noises

last person you called I tried to call a hospital in Indianapolis but it went to voicemail B(

favorite ice cream flavor? Vanilla cuz I’m a boring fuck

regular oreos or golden oreos? I don’t actually like Oreos

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Sprinkles are fucking awful and I will never consume them

what shirt are you wearing? It’s a black t-shirt with a dripping poisonous looking smiley face on it

what is your phone background? It’s just the background that came with my theme. It’s dark blue and futuristic lookin

are you outgoing or shy? Shy as fuck

do you like it when people play with your hair? i barely have hair but Yessss touch my fucking head and I am yours to command for eternity

do you like your neighbors? i don’t have any neighbors

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? I wash it in the morning sometimes if it’s visibly oily

have you ever been high? a few times yeah. Not really my thing tbh

have you ever been drunk? Also a few times and boy howdy I have a good time but everyone else has recommended I maybe don’t do it

last thing you ate? Some bread

favorite lyrics right now nnnnnnnnah

summer or winter? Summer

day or night? Day

dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk chocolate if i had to pick one

favorite month? OCTOBER cuz its my birthday and also spooky

what is your zodiac sign all of em

who was the last person you cried in front of? probably faewild lmao

#long post #ask meme #holy fuck sorry this is looooong #adorabletrainwreak #HEY I COULD ADD A READMORE? cool

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swearronchanel · 7 years

Text

Impromptu post, thoughts during 5.05

I'm so pissed I literally lost an earring at some point today and just realized. So I ripped my dorm room apart looking for it (no luck of course) and now it's 9:30 so I already missed half of the new episode of Jane the Virgin. Also my earrings are from Tiffany's, they were a Christmas gift a couple years ago & I can't afford to replace it😭 whatever you guys don't care about this, I'm so tired but I refuse to fall asleep at 9:30pm because I'll wake up at like 5am. So I decided to watch a random episode of Call The Midwife and share my thoughts.

Ok I'm going with 5.05, since we just saw 6.05 lol, idk If there's any logic but just go with it alright

ah the old credits, I really like the new ones though. Especially the color

"We were moving from a time of guessing.." I love how the show explains & shows that times are changing

The health report! Littt

"I feel a drumroll is in order" Shelagh is so precious!! 💖 I love her Scottish accent && side note I still wish they would mention one day how she got London. It literally does not matter at all but we know next to nothing about her past and im curious ?! More of Shelagh’s past pls

WAIT ONE OF MY FAV SHELAGH LINES IS COMING

"Patrick Turner, GP License to Practice Medicine and Secret Agent Shelagh Turnova save Poplar from ill health and disease!" I LOVE ITTTT😂 ONE OF HER BEST LINES EVER DONT @ ME, her laugh at the end is priceless ah! Shelagh is lowkey funny af she just rarely gets to opportunity and again Laura Main is an actual gem 😍

KEEP FIT

Trixie looking so good😍 i need her to whip my ass back in to shape. i havent worked out in like 3 months yikes

but seriously is this really my train of thoughts if i dont mention how perfect Helen George is?

yea its fuccking cancer, cigs are no joke

lol did they really not notice Tim reading Freud?

Also why did Shelagh ever think smoking cigarettes was a good idea after she freaking had tb? i forgive her though shes my bby💕

phyllis! my mother and hero

oh yea this lady cant read

forgot she was a ex-prostitute

vi and fred doing jumping jacks im dead, theyre a cute couple

Where did frankincense come from??

lol violet didnt wanna give up the bathroom door "we may be married but i still have my dignity"

Mrs Dooly? Is that her name (idk)

I can so see Shelagh delivering her baby herself like this lady did, but obviously she’d know what’s happening. You think Shelagh is going to freak out while giving birth though? hmm

"I do like a milky brew" WHY IS THAT FUNNY😂😂 I like the Delia & Sister MJ interaction

PHYLLIS TRYING TO RIDE A BIKE IS SYMBOLISM FOR ME TRYING TO GET THROUGH THIS SEMESTER #barelymanaging

does laying on a door really help a messed up back?

Those awful sleeves on Delia's uniform *cringe*

"I am not trusted with medical emergencies" I TRUST YOU SISTER MJ💕 lowkey hope the delivery sister MJ is involved in is Shelagh's

If I had to deliver my own baby I'd be freaking the fuck out too, like I'm not Dr Quinn

The Nonnatus Fam all at the table makes me happy😭

Sister Winifred rolling her eyes in the back 😂😂😂

"I'll be washing my hair and reading magazines from now on" yo sister Winifred is growing on me tbh?? Wow lol

"Ive always assumed the results of the male organ to be more rewarding than the organ itself" 😂😭 love sister MJ

Everyone in the convent shook😂 again sister W has the best reactions 😂 dick jokes are 100x funnier when they're made in a convent & 1000x funnier when they're made by a nun

Shelagh's "percussion" on Tim's back I'm dead lmfaoo

I don't remember if she has post partum ?

Fred taking over the shop😂 I miss when Fred used to scam though😭

"I'm missing my monthlys" "monthly whats?" Oh Fred cmon 😂

Tim snatching those cigarettes

Barbara trying to measure this lady😂😂 she's so awkward, love it

She leaves her baby outside smh

"Gosh James knows how to show a chap a nice time" ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH LINE😂 give my bby more great lines 😭😂

I LOVE CHEEKY SHELAGH, I LOVE SHELAGH ALL THE TIME EVEN WHEN SHE HAS NO LINES OR IS CRYING AND SAD (WHICH IS TOO OFTEN & WE NEEDA CUT THAT OUT)

Laura Main and Helen George calmly ruined me, I never was like this? How did I end up literally crying every week for fictional characters ??

Shelagh and Patrick's faces were so smug just now I love it

Yikes those lungs

Reminds me of all the gross anti smoking commercials. Also Patrick is shook but I'm not too surprised

I love that Phyllis is so understanding and doesn't judge any patient 💕

"You have the rest of your life to get the hang of it" I NEEDED THAT TOO PHYLLIS THANKS

LMAO FRED "Because hell will freeze over first"

so yes post partum??

Phyllis is annoyed bc she wants to work on her Spanish and babs is taking too long with the dishes 😂😂te querio mucho phyllis

Tim sparking up lol 🚬

Here comes trouble

I wanna rip Patrick's index finger off. Remember that time he wagged his finger and Shelagh and I was ready TO FREAKING FLIP

but yea wtf you knew this would happen Tim

Shelagh's just like "Tim no" I love u Shelagh but what does that do lmao your husband is exploding

"You'll what, light it for me!?" BOYYYY ARE YOU BRAVE KID

If I responded like that my parents would've flipped, there most likely would've been a chancla coming at me 😭😂

But seriously Patrick should know better not to smoke lol

What does Roxanne mean this isn't real??

Aw cute Patrick and Tim moment, and a year later they're getting drunk off one beer and throwing darts into the wall😂

I want to see more of Phyllis with babies aww

Also not really related but I hope Phyllis has some good lines defending the pill when it comes back up. Remember when she had babs shook when she told the story of the soldier she spent a weekend away with😏 imagine her telling the other nurses?

Used to hang out at a Jazz club Patrick?? lol interesting

damn get that radium treatment man

"The real magic is keeping on when all you want to do is run" Phyllis Fucking Crane spilling the tea as always. How did I not like her once upon a time??

Could Shelagh get any cuter eating biscuits? No she could not

lol biscuits aren't just for fainters!! Ah I don't miss sister Ursula 🙃

that's not your mother😐 (I knew where she was going though but you know I'm gonna say it anyway)

More Shelagh and Phyllis interaction yes pls

How much is a shilling? #ignorantamerican

Fred hiding from the costumers 😂😂

Yes Vi! Defend ur man & kick this rude ass lady out

Lol now Patrick telling other people to quit smoking. Don Draper tried man, it's gonna take u a while 😭

I'm here for the Phyllis and Sister W dynamic (more now that Phyllis is teaching her how to drive 😂)

Ah I love going back to old episodes when I know what happens in the future, also I notice things I didn't notice before and make connections and yea, you catch my drift lmao

"We don't choose to be unloved by those who should love us"💔

we truly don't deserve Phyllis. SHE'S TALKING ABOUT HER MOTHER AND IM CRYING

"Shame will keep us in all kinds of prisons if we let it" 😭😭😭

Patrick has a puppy face rn

Wait they went this long without naming the baby??

omg speaking of that, I really want to know what the gender of baby Turner is going to be and what it will be named😭😭

Vi is precious lol & Fred lifting her is cute. Patrick never lifts Shelagh😂

Aw speaking of my bbys💕💕

So precious it’s almost strange Turner family moment

Why do so many people hate that couch? Like it doesn't bother me or maybe I don't care enough about the background?

Angela has grown so much in a year wow, she looks a lot younger here

lol Shelagh and Patrick are like "um wtf psychology??" 😂

Wait Angela made a noise😂 when will she actually speak??

Haha Shelagh you're going to need new dresses but you don't know yet 😭😂💕 I still can't believe she's having a baby. I Love it.

"You're my world" lol that was so cute but also I still think Tim is too perfect of a child?? what teenager is so pleasant with his parents all the time 😂 plus he's always with them and his baby sister? #givetimalife2k17aka1962

Aww all the cute concluding moments & Vanessa Redgrave saying something profound and we are done.

#call the midwife #my rambles #thoughts #you tired of me yet #?#I will never run out of comments #I have too much to say #all the time #lets get it 1962 #protect my bbys at all costs though

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strangedarkage · 7 years

Text

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end tag 25 people!

tagged by @dippyeggs - MY LOVE <3

THE LAST: 1. drink: Diet Pepsi. I think my blood is made out of diet soda now tbh... 2. phone call: Probably to my dad lol. I don’t do phone calls very often. 3. text message: “Okayyyy” to my sister. 4. song you listened to: Afterglow by All Time Low (I love the new album so much. Fight me) 5. time you cried: This morning lmao. My sister yelled at me and I accidentally shut the cat’s feet in the door and then proceeded to have a breakdown (mental illness ftw). Today has been a day, y’all.

HAVE YOU EVER: 6. dated someone twice: Nope! 7. been cheated on: No, I don’t think so? 8. kissed someone and regretted it: Actually no. I haven’t kissed enough people to regret it lol. 9. lost someone special: Yup 10. been depressed: YUP! 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope! Alcohol isn’t my thing. I come from a long line of alcoholics so I stay away from it haha.

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

Yellow

Blue

Light green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: Yeah, definitely! 16. fallen out of love: Nah 17. laughed until you cried: OF course! 18. found out someone was talking about you: L o l I try not to think about it because I’m very obsessive so if I know someone is talking about me, it’s all I think about. 19. met someone who changed you: Not really? 20. found out who your real friends are: I guess? 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: HA no. GENERAL: 22. how many of your fb friends do you know in real life: I’d say like 98% of them 23. do you have any pets: 1 indoor cat, 5 outdoor ones that kinda just wander. 24. do you want to change your name: FUCK YES. I HATE MY BIRTH NAME. I’M GONNA LEGALLY CHANGE IT SOON HOPEFULLY. Technically, I already did change it to “Quinne” but ya know. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: Took my sisters to see Beauty & the Beast with my friends. 26. what time did you wake up: Around 10:30-11ish 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Probably moping on Tumblr 28. name something you cannot wait for: SEEING ALL TIME LOW IN JULY. 29. when was the last time you saw your mother: Literally five minutes ago. 30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Actually having the ability/resources to medically transition lol. 31. what are you listening to right now: My sister running around the house like a goddamn elephant. 32.have you ever talked to a person called Tom: Yeah, that’s my grandpa’s name, actually haha. 33. something that’s getting on your nerves: Lol same as Maery- the CisHets and Republicans. 34. most visited website: Tumblr, let’s not kid ourselves, friends 35. Elementary: RTR Elementary 36. high school: RTR High School (Just graduated in May!) 37. college/university: Morningside College 38. hair colour: Currently black 39. long or short hair: Short because long hair makes me hella dysphoric. After I’ve been on hormones for a while I’ll probably grow it out though. 40. do you have a crush on someone: Sort of, I guess? I try to not let myself develop crushes on people because I just get hurt lol 41. what do you like about yourself: I’m pretty fucking strong (mentally, not physically lol), I have a decent singing voice, and I’m a fairly good writer (at least I think so haha) 42. piercings: Used to have my nose and ears pierced but they all got infected so I took them out. My body hates piercings... I want to get my septum pierced really badly but I don’t know how long it would last. 43. blood type: I have no idea. 44. nickname: Q, Quinnie 45. relationship: Currently single 46. zodiac sign: Aries 47. pronouns: He/Him 48. favourite tv show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Avatar/The Legend of Korra

49. tattoos: None yet! But I want to get so fucking many! 50. right or left hand: Right

FIRST: 51. surgery: None 52. piercing: Ears 53. (There’s nothing here so I’m adding one) kiss: My first girlfriend who was also my best friend at the time. 54. sport: I don’t sport... 55. Vacation: Camping, probably? 56. (There’s nothing here so I’m adding one) concert: ALL TIME LOW. 57. eating: I just had a crap ton of marshmallows + s’mores. Now I’m eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s under the guise of self-care lol. 58. drinking: Nothing 59.i’m about to: Sit around my house and do nothing for the rest of the night haha 60. listening to: The refrigerator running. The house is eerily quiet rn because every is outside being sociable (I.E. getting drunk) 61. waiting for: To quit my job so I can dye my hair bright green + to move out so I can actually start my life. 62. want: A cute sugardaddy who will buy me an entirely new wardrobe and finanicially support me so I can afford to transition AND go to college (kidding- sort of). 63. get married: Idk. Depends if I ever find someone who can tolerate me and my shit lol. 64. career: Ideally, working in music production or composition/songwriting. WHICH IS BETTER: 65. hugs or kisses: Honestly both. I can’t choose. 66. lips or eyes: Eyes 67. shorter or taller: Taller 68. older or younger: Older 70. nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach definitely 71. sensitive or loud: Loud 72. hook up or relationship: Relationship. I don’t do hookups haha. 73. troublemaker or hesitant: A healthy mixture of both? HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: Hell no I’m too anxious/awkward for that 75. drank hard liquor: Nope. 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: Nope, I don’t wear glasses. 77. turned someone down: Y E S. I have a few interesting stories that are too long to type out lol. 78. sex on first date: Nope. 79. broken someone’s heart: Nah. 80. had your heart broken: HA YES. 81. been arrested: Nope. I don’t do anything interesting enough to get arrested. 82. cried when someone died: Yes??? Of course??? What is this question?? 83. fallen for a friend: Yup! DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: Most of the time haha. Depends on my current mental state. 85. miracles: Yes and no? 86. love at first sight: Nah. 87.santa claus: FOREVER AND ALWAYS. 88. kiss on the first date: If I really like the person and I’m comfortable with them- hell yeah! 89. angels: Idk honestly? OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: I don’t have one. Is that sad??? I haven’t had one for a while because I’m a detached fuck. 91. eye colour: Blue 92.favourite movie: Big Hero 6, Inside Out, Moana... I just love animated movies, okay?

I tag: @laurajanegracecansitonmyface @starrydun @shape-shift-with-matt @de-insanity & anyone who feels like it!

#slef #food mention //#death mention //#alcohol mention //

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raspberrykit · 7 years

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BB, answer all of the unusual asks for me?

WHY YOU DO THIS. I’ll answer them all, though, JUST FOR YOU. Except the ones I answered in the last post.

2. Is your room messy or clean?

My apartment is disgustingly messy.

3. What color are your eyes?

Blue-gray!

4. Do you like your name? Why?

I like it well enough. I don’t think it’s particularly pretty, but it’s the name I’ve had my entire life and I like some of the nicknames it has, even though I didn’t so much as a kid!

5. What is your relationship status?

Single but still too heartbroken and emotionally unavailable to do anything about it.

6. Describe your personality in 3 words or less?

Kind, loyal, curious.

7. What color hair do you have?

Red.

8. What kind of car do you drive? Color?

*sniffle* Not a red Mini Cooper.

I drive a black Toyota Yaris now.

9. Where do you shop?

The grocery store. I literally barely have money to even buy food.

11. Favorite social media account?

Of mine? Of other people’s?

I like my Instagram.

And @rapunzelie on tumblr is probably my favorite.

12. What size bed do you have?

A queen! It fits me and ALL OF MY TRASH.

13. Any siblings?

One older brother, whose birthday is today!

Technically I guess I have two stepbrothers but I’ve never met them.

14. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

I don’t know. I don’t really want to live anywhere because I don’t want to live tbh.

15. Favorite snapchat filter?

The dog one omg I hate myself too.

16. Favorite make-up brand?

Tarte maybe! I can’t afford much of theirs but i got some of their lipsticks and an eyeshadow palette for Christmas and I just like their company :3

17. How many times a week do you shower?

This is a complicated question. Because I will get in my shower multiple times a day and sit there and do shit on my phone while the water hits my back. But in terms of actually “showering” maybe 2-3 times a week.

18. Favorite TV show?

Right now, it’s probably The Magicians!!

19. Shoe size?

I’m an 8.

20. How tall are you?

5′4″

21. Sandals or sneakers?

Neither - v - Sneakers if I must choose.

22. Do you go to the gym?

Lol.

23. Describe your dream date?

I’m too bitter about romance to think of a real answer to this question. I apologize.

24. How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

Maybe like fifty cents.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

NO SOCKS.

26. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Two, sort of.

27. Do you have a job? What do you do?

I work at a public library!

28. How many friends do you have?

I don’t know. Like two, maybe.

29. What’s the worst thing you have ever done?

Everything in the past year, maybe!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kill me!!!!!!!!!!!

30. What’s your favorite candle scent?

VANILLA. Catch me at my apartment making everything smell like fucking cookies.

31. 3 favorite boy names?

Finn, William, Liam (this is literally in William. Wow)

33. Favorite actor?

Mmmmmmmmmmm…………..I don’t really have one.

34. Favorite actress?

I just don’t care for these things.

35. Who is your celebrity crush?

I GUESS Holland Roden. IF I HAVE TO FUCKING PICK.

36. Favorite movie?

The Princess Bride!

37. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book?

I used to read much more, but I’m starting to read a lot again. I don’t have a single favorite book. But one that I read recently that I adored was The Miseducation of Cameron Post!

38. Money or brains?

Brains.

39. Do you have a nickname? What is it?

KT. Kate/Kait. Ginga’ snap.

40. How many times have you been to the hospital?

Both my parents had cancer. I can’t count.

41. Top 10 favorite songs?

Retrace by Anberlin, Paperthin Hymn by Anberlin, All Too Well by Taylor Swift, Last Kiss by Taylor Swift, Sí Bheag, Sí Mhór (an Irish tune), Gethsemane by Dry the River, Other Side by Anberlin, Shadows by Red, Push Me to the Floor by The Parlotones, and Save Your Best Bits by The Parlotones

Maybe. This could change depending on my mood.

I don’t think any of these songs are happy lmao.

42. Do you take any medications daily?

Nope. Wish I did, though.

43. What is your skin type?

It’s a mix tbh.

44. What is your biggest fear?

Failure/rejection. Congratulations, self, you’ve achieved your biggest fear.

45. How many kids do you want?

HA. COMPLICATED QUESTION. I don’t know. One/Zero.

46. What’s your go to hair style?

Just down, natural.

47. What type of house do you live in?

A small apartment.

48. Who is your role model?

Grace Helbig.

49. What was the last compliment you received?

A patron at the library today was complimenting me about how I helped her the other day~

50. What was the last text you sent?

“Oh wait I lied she responded. But she’s kind of weird so idk man”

51. How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real?

I don’t remember, actually!

52. What is your dream car?

It was a Mini Cooper. And I’d had one :’)

53. Opinion on smoking?

Yuck.

54. Do you go to college?

Already graduated :’)

55. What is your dream job?

To embrace death.

56. Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

Suburbs! Do already!

57. Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

Nope!

58. Do you have freckles?

Yes, mostly on my shoulders ^^

59. Do you smile for pictures?

Sometimes!

60. How many pictures do you have on your phone?

Like 1200.

61. Have you ever peed in the woods?

Yes, many times.

62. Do you still watch cartoons?

Occasionally.

63. Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonald’s?

McDonald’s. I pretty much live on them nowadays.

64. Favorite dipping sauce?

BBQ!

65. What do you wear to bed?

Nothing. Or a tee-shirt and shorts.

66. Have you ever won a spelling bee?

Yes, many times!

67. What are your hobbies?

Playing video games, reading, drawing, crying….

68. Can you draw?

Sort of.

69. Do you play an instrument?

I used to play viola.

70. What was the last concert you saw?

Panic! at the Disco

71. Tea or coffee?

Coffee 100%

73. Do you want to get married?

Idk. No one wants me so it’s not like it’s ever gonna happen.

74. What is crush’s first and last initial?

Not really a crush but A.N.

k i l l m e

75. Are you going to change your last name when you get married?

Lol.

76. What color looks best on you?

I think royal blue or dark green.

77. Do you miss anyone right now?

I miss everyone :’)

78. Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Either. My bedroom door is open most of the time. My apartment door is definitely closed xd.

79. Do you believe in ghosts?

In a way, I think so!

80. What is your biggest pet peeve?

People not being really bad at communicating/making plans.

81. Last person you called?

My dad.

82. Favorite ice cream flavor?

Moose tracks * o *

83. Regular Oreo’s or golden Oreo’s?

Regular. I mean, double stuf. But regualr.

84. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

Mmmmmmm not much of a sprinkle person. But rainbow?

85. What shirt are you wearing?

I’m not wearing a shirt lol.

86. What is your phone background?

Fan-art of Nami and Vayne from League of Legends.

87. Are you outgoing or shy?

Shy!

88. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

If it’s a significant other, sometimes. Otherwise, I really dislike people touching my hair.

89. Do you like your neighbors?

Don’t really know many, but the ones I’ve interacted with seem pretty nice.

90. Do you wash your face? At night? In the morning?

Not as often as I should. Usually when I shower.

91. Have you ever been high?

Yeah, I guess.

92. Have you ever been drunk?

Plenty of times.

93. Last thing you ate?

Taco Bell

95. Summer or winter?

Summer I guess.

96. Day or night?

Night…….

97. Dark, milk, or white chocolate?

Yes, in that order.

98. Favorite month?

October!!

99. What is your zodiac sign?

Pisces.

100. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Oooh that I cried in front of? Maybe my brother?

#sorry that i'm an unpleasant person with unpleasant answers #knightsabyss #me

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