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#how much after 5 do i wait....
senselessalchemist · 1 month
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Sometimes you spend Saturday (one of your two free days a week) sitting in the stairwell because your insurance will only fill your specialty meds thru the mail and your doorbell is broken so if you want to get your medication you have to watch for the FedEx truck
By you I mean me
(5 hours and meds still not here)
I am tired of having this body and I deserve a new one after the massive hell this one has put me through
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mothlau · 8 months
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modern wolfstar but sirius is a scam tarot reader at small town fairs (he got the cards from a thrift store for a few pounds, watched one video on how to read them and he decided it's his best shot at making some money to survive). cue the fair where he's working ends up in a small town from wales where, lo and behold, he keeps pulling the moon and the death card for everyone. a small child that can't be older than 5? they get the death card. an old lady who wanted to know how her tomatoes will do this summer? death.
now, sirius does know that the death card means new beginnings and it's not as bad as it seems but everyone just starts calling him names and his clientele lessens by the day because everyone finds out about his cards and how he's the bringer of death (literally no one died since he got there so he finds the new nickname a bit overkill).
he's too worried about his scamming abilities though. he just can't shake the weird feeling he gets when he pulls moon out again, even after he takes the damn card out of his pack because he's sick of seeing it (he leaves the death card in because he does find it funny)
but then, on the night before the full moon, when he's just getting ready to pack his cards and cheap props and call it a day, a farmer comes to get a reading. he's still in his overalls because he came straight from the farm here to check out the card reader who the villagers keep saying is predicting deaths on the full moon to see what the fuss is about.
sirius is smitten as soon as the farmer opens his mouth, but imagine his surprise when he hears that he's been slowly making people fear him again, after he just convinced them that he's a kind guy. and imagine his bigger surprise when the cute farmer with hay stuck in his hair and mud on his overalls tells him he's a werewolf.
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kevin-sedai · 5 months
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The vibe really deteriorated as the day went on, and now I'm sitting in bed, awake, feeling like garbage
#it was an okay weekend but i was jittery and numb for most of it#tried to write christmas cards for the first time in 2 years. cried while doing so and then had to lie down after i did 5#i got frustrated with the story i'm writing and considered dropping it or deleting the whole thing#spent friday alone pretty much all day which normally i'm fine with but for whatever reason made the loneliness really hit hard this time#spent all thanksgiving day waiting for a familial confrontation#got asked by my 6 year old nephew how old i was and then he followed up with 'well why arent you married what are you doing'#which i'm pretty sure is something he heard in a conversation someone else was having and he repeated it bc he's 6 fucking years old#which btw i don't hold against him or am mad at him about bc he's an innocent kid#but that made me feel really shitty#spent an hour today panicking about this dog virus#and in between all of that i was self diagnosing myself with mental illnesses#which made me feel awful bc it made gaslight myself in thinking maybe i wanted one?#which is so fucked up to the max and i'm so sorry for even putting that here#but i put this all here bc i could never have this conversation with people irl#they'd get too worried or they'd think i'm overreacting or i need to date or need to do something with myself besides read#i'm so sorry everyone#i'll try to be better#i just had to put this out somewhere#and i didn't put this in a journal bc my last entry sounds so teenagerish out of context i don't even want to look at it#anyway i have to try to sleep i have to go into the office early tomorrow#i'm sorry guys#i really am😔
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brookheimer · 1 year
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……starting to think a lot of you do not know what the word empathetic means
#i have a lot to say about this but it is going to have to wait a few days until i’m no longer up to my ears in work#but here’s a little thing to tide you over: empathy does not a good person make#a capacity for empathy is in no way a capacity let alone willingness for good#empathy and intense horrendous cruelty are not mutually exclusive#if you think that evil comes in a single form if you think evil is just pure callousness coldness spot-it-a-mile-away inability to love#then no fucking wonder people keep doing evil terrible things like in real life and your response is always ?! W hat ?!#shocking: terrible evil people are still people. they are not robots of pure malice. they were once babies with coloring books#that’s not saying we should feel bad for them or anything at all!!! just that you guys seem allergic to acknowledging that it doesn’t take a#category 5 sociopath to commit an atrocity#everyone go read arendt’s banality of evil and go watch act of killing by joshua oppenheimer#no wonder trump keeps winning. y’all don’t view his supporters as people with any qualities other than Racism#like i know this is a fictional character but the response here is so indicative of this much broader issue that makes me want to scream#i get it. you’ve lived in a bubble your whole life and never interacted with people vastly different from yourself and had to acknowledge#their personhood as much as their viewpoints disgusted you. talk to a conservative once in your life it might be mind blowing#not bc you’ll be like WOAH :o THEYRE NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL! no!!!!! because they ARE that bad and they are also regular normal people!!!!!#you are all so incapable of viewing anyone you dislike as having internal lives! christ!#this is how trump won! how do you not see this!#seriously go watch act of killing go watch anwar who murdered hundreds of people in cold blood warmly scold his grandchild for poking a duck#too hard. like the most horrifying part of horrible ppl who commit atrocities is that they aren’t caricatures of evil#we wish they were it would make it easier to understand#agh i’m rambling i’ll shut up#god watch ppl be like Uh why are you defending trump/genocide/fascists etc#dumb fucks i’m telling you the most terrifying part about those people is that they are actually people that’s what makes it so hard to#comprehend bc atrocities are so much easier to swallow when you can pretend a force of pure evil is behind it#okokokok good night lol
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reisakumaproducer · 12 hours
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I think Enstars stories where quote on quote "nothing happens" are nice actually. Bc rhythm game gacha game stories are 100% dialogue driven so character dynamics are essential to how enjoyable they are. I like the scout stories where the characters hang out. Idc if they're not some ground breaking lore drops or nothing crazy happens, I just think they're neat.
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ofalltheginjoints · 2 years
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#my fatal flaw is actually that i will never actually give anyone consequences for treating me like shit#like. you could stab me and i’d probably apologize to you#i got an uber bc i really didn’t want to wait 45min for the bus (plus the hour bus ride)#and like i literally hadn’t even buckled my seatbelt before the driver started complaining to me about how he’s losing so much money on#this trip and how lyft is screwing him over and that i should tip him $10 for his troubles and like.#i asked him if he wanted me to get out and find another one and he just kept avoiding the question#while still telling me how much this trip was costing him and quite literally making me feel like shit for requesting the ride#and i ended up changing the drop off location to somewhere that was like. closer bc i just didn’t want to be in the car anymore#and after i did that he was still going#like. i’m sitting in the back of his car on the fucking highway getting berated bc i just wanted to fucking go home after work#and you know what i did?#gave him 5 stars and 25% tip bc ‘well he shouldn’t lose his job just bc i had a bad experience’#but now im sitting here at a mall waiting for my mom to come pick me up and trying not to cry#and i wish i would’ve like. given a truthful ride review or just skipped it bc like#no i don’t want him to lose his job and if i give him one star he possibly could#but also that guy was literally being a massive dick to me and i literally tipped him for it.#i want to be a nice person always but like. i think sometimes me being nice is just letting ppl do whatever the want and being complacent#and i fucking hate it#after like a while of him going on i stopped him and was like#hey man i get its tough and i feel for you but it’s not my fault and i really don’t feel like talking rn#so im gonna put my headphones in#and this motherfucker goes ‘umm ok i mean thats kind of awkward but ok’#LIKE YOU DIDNT MAKE IT AWKWARD THE MOMENT I GOT IN YOUR CAR#expect maybe im overreacting?????????#anyway. um everything is bad and terrible rn and i just wanna go home but ive still got an hour before my mom gets off work :)#if you actually read all of this i 1) am so sorry and 2) literally love u and also im sorry
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flythesail · 8 months
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Nancy Drew being over still feels so weird idk if it still hasn't fully sunk in or if I'm just doing better than I thought I would or maybe-
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i LOOOVE thinking about fantasy disabilities!!!! i love figuring out what people would have to do to accommodate them! it's literally awesome!
#fun after-comic joe facts time yayyy so joe's soul got a little bit fucked up#its just this small crack. which makes him entirely unresponsive to anything for like 5 minutes max#at seemingly random intervals. it slows down and doesnt last as long as it heals but its still like#not good lol#and its just gonna keep happening the rest of his life because souls fuckin heal weird#its one of many problems disorders he has to deal with this ones just special because doctors have#NO clue what to do with him so he and his friends just gotta figure out how to cope with it themselves#after a while he can kinda tell when its about to happen a few seconds before it does#so because he's rarely left alone anyways because he. cant take care of himself much anymore#he can give them a warning and they will make sure nothing dangerous will come from it and just wait for him to come to#as it heals and becomes less of a problem it kinda becomes more of a problem ironically#he does reach a point where he can mostly handle himself. but he cant do shit when that happens#except try to sit down asap. so while it happens less often it causes More Incidents. alas#i think kiara's way of dealing with it happening in particular is so silly#cause she just. grew up with him like this. this is just normal to her she's never questioned it#like oh ok dad's blanked out again i will just wait so patiently for it to be done so i can keep showing him#my mlp toys and explaining mlp lore to him#it happens and she just stops what she's doing and waits for him then continues as if nothing happened#everyone else gets so fussy about him when it happens but kiaras just#are you done? ok so pinkie pie is the laughter pony#he thinks its awesome he loves her so much
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cuteniaarts · 19 days
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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kraviolis · 10 months
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if i had to guess, i’d estimate that only about 1/3 of all the fanfiction i’ve written has been posted.
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snowflop · 3 months
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I want to be a hater about the cyl results so I'm making my own post so i can bitch in the tags about it. The tags will get long so the tldr is BOOOO everybody but Alfonse.
#man. MAN!!! after all the hexes and curses I tried to set upon her Bern sure did win huh.#like on the one hand i'm impressed on the other i hate her!! i hate her i hate her and I'm tired of pretending I don't!!#when i was playing 3h i could appreciate her good moments in between being insufferable and i liked her alright. she was fine#but like. we're 5 years out from 3h at this point and i'm just fucking sick of her. i don't understand her lasting popularity. i'm tired#Felix... should have been Sylvain.#i like him fine. he grew on me. but he certainly is not one of my enduring favourites from 3h. he fades into obscurity for me.#that said i don't hate him. i'm happy for his fans. you guys worked hard (clearly) deserved i just#i love 3h!! i do! but like. the accident was 5 years ago it's time to let her go.#and out of all the guys in 3h! if it had to be one of them! him? fr? whatever.#i've just never cared for f!robin. i feel nothing looking at her. less then nothing.#so i guess her winning isn't. bad per say. i guess it's a non issue.#that brings us back to MY MAN!!! ALFONSE!! lets goooooooooo#i'm so happy for him. always really liked Alfonse he's so <3<3#i know i don't post about him that much but#it's just that me and feh itself have a tumultuous relationship so i don't see him as much as i'd like >_>#he's the one i'm going to pick and i'm not going to bother rolling for the others#also the fact we have to wait til the 31st for the full results is agonizing#i wanna know if Rein survived. he didn't make ton 20 but i have to know how bad it is#if it's horrible the reason is obvious. he got an alt the week before cyl#can't imagine that'll put him at the top of anybodies list for needing at alt (except mine lol)#but still. at this point i'm just hoping for top 50 orz#snow blogging
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fullandfairones · 10 months
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britneyshakespeare · 5 months
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you know i mentioned last night that i realized only *after* i started rereading david copperfield that since i recently became an aunt, i was gonna see the story from a whole new angle and start relating more to betsey trotwood. i didn't even think about how at salem house i was gonna be poor mr. mell...
#i mean i didnt really think about mr. mell much because he's more of a minor character#he doesnt come back throughout david's life like steerforth or traddles or emily or agnes or#or or or all these other dozen major characters#in fact i only think of salem house as a minor part of the book. the shit we gotta get through to get to aunt betsey again#in a sense i cant wait to be done with it again#but oh my god reading about the rowdy schoolroom and how he's hardly managing to handle his stress#MEEEEE!!!!!! ME AN EDUCATOR#diana rereads david copperfield#literally just let me fucking play my flute badly in peace#you know i really have grown up a lot in the past 5 years bc all the adults used to just be caricatures to me#in the sense that all of dickens' characters are kind of caricatures. theyre exaggerated and silly#whether theyre supposed to be archetypal good or bad people.#because the way dickens uses hyperbole. sometimes it's just too true!#like the assholery of steerforth. how disingenuous but charming and persuasive he can be#that is SO true to how it feels to look up to older people as a young child. david copperfield's yielding to him is so realistic#david copperfield's own childish innocence throughout the early chapters seems comical but is emotionally true to how childhood feels.#these were the parts of the novel that resonated with me very deeply at 19. and they still do#but oh now. now i understand the position of the working adults. especially since i work w kids now how different it all feels.#and have worked w kids for several years too. but only about a year after reading dc. actually almost 2 years#im one of the bumbling incompetent adults. oh dear. oh lord.
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maddy-ferguson · 1 year
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making us wait five weeks for volume 2 was such a strange questionable decision it made it seem much weaker than it is it was so underwhelming. the episodes are fine but they were like you are gonna lose your MINDS it's gonna be CRAZY and then it was just the regular thing except it lasted thirty hours this time. having to wait made it feel like volume 1 was a set up for volume 2 which was SUCH a set up for volume 2 (see what i did there). seeing it as setting up season 5 instead makes it seem much better but the wait just made it really hard to think of it that way. and them saying that it was gonna be mind-blowing and a carnage (?) made it sound like it was gonna be epic and then it was. it was literally normal except it was longer.
#and obviously the fact that it ends on a cliffhanger makes it obvious that it's all setting up season 5 (which. yes. that's how it works)#but the five weeks that lead to volume 2 very much made it feel like we were getting a resolution now#it was just very weird#i know everyone likes the wait between the episodes and yes june was a very fun time but if they do the volume thing again#i will DIE i can't stand to set myself up for disappointment like i did last time and like i inevitably will if we have to wait for more#than thirty seconds for the final episodes especially because it would be the last episodes forever#and yes of course weekly episodes would be great but netflix is LITERALLY never gonna do that they'll never admit that their model is#failing lol. and if it's between volumes and getting it all at once i would rather get it all at once hashtag my unpopular opinion hashtag#living my truth but yeah netlix will probably do the volume thing again which i hate so bad#volume 2 will never be my favorite episodes i will always think that a 150 minute episode is ridiculous but it's not as bad as it seemed on#july 1st not even just the byler parts it all seemed. not good. then when i rewatched it a couple monts later i was like oh this is fine#actually#maybe i should stop linking my potential demise to season 5 of hit netflix show stranger things#remember the jokes after volume 2 about how they willingly released the episodes right before and right after pride month#and like i say: brf slt
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megagrind · 1 year
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Bitches be like “I’ve spent so long chasing after this person that it’s time I move on and fall in love with someone else” and it’s literally the exact same person
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robotic-maid · 11 months
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I’m gonna vent in the tags but I promise I’m chill
#sometimes after working for 12 hours straight I want to cry but my antidepressants make it really hard to so I just get a migraine#is it bad I feel bad for feeling bad#like if I could afford to not pay a bill I would be hospitalized right now for sure#but i just don’t have the luxury#I have vacation coming up… our mandatory overtime is almost done but even the vacation doesn’t seem worth it#how do you keep going when all you do is sleep and work and sleep and work and sleep and work#it feels like hell#but this was my reward for growing up#I don’t want to make my friends feel bad for me#I don’t want to disappoint my family anymore#but it’s not like feeling this way will kill me so that’s how I justify letting myself say any of this at all#oh if I say it then it won’t stay inside me#but it’s like a broken faucet there’s just so much#just shut up about it if you’re not gonna quit your job or emit yourself or die#just be happy you get to keep trying and that this isn’t forever#wait for the meds to kick in and go to bed and tommorrow you’ll wake up with a lighter chest#and maybe just maybe the you 5 years from now will be grateful#and then I’m happy.#saying these things somehow just cheer me up#I’m not upset that I’m alive I’m upset that I have bills and. a stupid job with hellish hours and I’m too scared to do something wrong#to move the wrong way and start a landslide that makes things worse again#but I’ll be fine because I’m always fine#and this bad situation will end because it always ends#thank you for letting me be born
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