#i looked things up for this post like legit minutes long research

[akfamilyhome]

YouTube 2023 Year in Review

Welp! Guess it's that time of year again. I'm sure 2023 has been a...pretty interesting year to say for quite a few people. And for me personally, it's also been a weird little year that's great in some parts and could be better in others.

What have I been up to?

My life right now is kinda divided into three parts:

A) the "IRL" stuff, as in working on my editing day job and spending time with family.

B) working on YouTube videos which I still have the passion for,

and C) playing video games, collecting cool things and socializing with my online friends.

I've always felt that it's difficult for me to put equal attention to all three, and lately, it definitely feels like I'm focusing on 'A' and 'C' more. Of course, my day job is kinda how I make a living at the moment so that obviously gets priority, but that doesn't mean I want to ignore my YouTube stuff! It's just hard to sneak in a few lines of script-writing while multitasking at a day job, and only being able to freely spend time on 'B' and 'C' during night isn't the most productive way to go about things, especially with other things that aren't YouTube production. I also have games I want to play, art I want to draw, folks I'd like to hang out with etc.

And that's a fine, healthy way of going about things online for regular folks! But I don't want my YouTube channel to stagnate as a result of this, because I still love making videos! I have support from folks on Patreon, and I still hope to continue growing the channel so that it becomes more sustainable to do frequent updates.

Part of me has always thought about just quitting my day job once I have a decent amount of money saved up and just try doing YouTube full-time and rely on Patreon, even if there's a very low chance it'd be sustainable. Of course, that's a big gamble, and I'm not truly sure if that's really the best way to go about things. But those are just my inner thoughts and I've rambled long enough...

So, I apologize for the above situation sort of being the root cause of the recent slower pace of my YouTube channel! The pace of the channel this year is about the same as in 2022, if not a little slower. I didn't really get a lot of dormant scripts from 2020-2021 off the ground, but being true to what I said in last year's Year in Review, I did end up working on a lot of spontaneous ideas even if there wasn't a "big" core video! In fact, I think almost every video released in 2023 that we'll discuss below were spontaneous ideas.

I'll talk more about what's to come for the channel in the end of the post, but for now, as usual, we'll take a look at each video I made during 2023 and I'll share my thoughts and some fun facts about each!

A Trip to the Hong Kong Kirby Pop-Up Store

Various things were put up on the channel from January to March, including a funny little short for Mario Day and a new trailer for a revamped Patreon, but the major thing I put out was a look at the Kirby Pop-Up Store in Hong Kong! This was my first time doing a scripted documentation of an in-person event, and Nintendo Hong Kong would eventually do more events like Nintendo Live 2023 Hong Kong, and I'll definitely be talking about them on my channel eventually!

As for fun facts...uhh...I suppose Patreon patrons get to see the full unedited raw footage I took from the event lol

Top 10 Nintendo Trivia You NEVER Knew

This year's April Fools video...was also a last-minute sort of idea, if I recall correctly! The concept is simple: it's a parody of generic Top 10 trivia videos in terms of presentation, but the curveball is instead of just doing other blatantly obvious fun facts, the facts would actually be super obscure, inconsequential Nintendo facts that barely anyone would've known about, so in the end it's kind of a legit trivia video in a twisted way. The facts in the video were sourced from new research, me asking friends for suggestions and some of my old posts on Twitter, so there were a few 'fun' facts that were left on the cutting room floor, and here's a good place to share them!

In an early version of the GameCube instruction manual, Mario 64 was used as a placeholder game

The infamous 'black box' in Super Mario 64 DS is not a visual glitch as commonly believed, and briefly appears in E3 2004 footage

Prototype screenshots of Mario 64 have appeared in an early print of the game's box art...and on a Nintendo Monopoly board in 2006 (next to the ? Block on the right side of the board if you're looking)

The Onion in Hey! Pikmin has white and purple in its colors, even though white and purple Pikmin never appear in the game

The original 3DS had two separate sets of black & white colors, for some reason

And to finally come clean...yes, around 30% of the video's script was generated using ChatGPT, as part of the joke. Mostly the introductory bits at the beginning of each segment, since it definitely did not give me the results I wanted when I asked it to describe the specific details of each fact, so y'know, hopefully that's a sign it's not coming for my job of talking about obscure Nintendo things! And don't worry, this will probably be the only time I ever use AI in my videos.

The Better N64 Wavebird Experience

This is a follow-up to a 2021 video where I also used the N64 Switch Online controller on an original N64, albeit with a different adapter! This actually isn't a case where I received a free product to do a review on, I just happened to read about a better alternative, pre-ordered it online, it arrived in April and I decided to knock out a quick review/comparison video in 2 days!

As such, this is more of standard informative review video, but in all honesty, I still really like this setup, and it's in my opinion still one of the best controller options for original N64 games. So much so, that I recently completed my NSO controller collection by picking up a Sega Mega Drive 6-button NSO controller to eventually use with my original Mega Drive! I'm still looking for the compatible 8bitDo adapter though, so maybe when I eventually do, that can be a quick little video on the Plus channel for patrons!

The Most Expensive amiibo

This is my favorite video I put out this year! The Qbby amiibo has always been in my sights for a while, and I've gone on record saying that I'd make a video on it if I got my hands on one.

Back in 2019, I once saw a Qbby amiibo being offered on Yahoo Auctions for a relatively cheap price, but to afford it I asked for extra donations via Ko-fi. Looking back on it now there were probably better options I could've taken, but either way the listing got cancelled and I refunded everyone who donated for that. Then sometime later I saw another relatively cheap BOXBOY package in a local listing, but then the seller never replied and deleted the listing, so the amiibo has eluded me until now, and there seems to be no signs of Qbby stock going down any time soon. My hope for a Qbby reprint continues, and hopefully this video still serve as a little awareness boost for folks who are wondering why he's one of the most expensive amiibo around!

Some of the gag editing on this one got spruced up a little bit which I enjoyed doing, but you also probably noticed that I got a turntable specifically for those glamour shots! ...yeah, I'll probably get more use of that thing later on as well.

The Kirby Battle Royale online joke wasn't exaggeration: I couldn't find anyone to play online with! I suppose that is to be expected for, y'know, playing a mid 3DS game in 2023, but it's a shame that Kirby Battle Royale doesn't at least offer a option to play with friends, and from some experimentation, it seems that two of my US-based friends were able to match with each other online while I couldn't, which also suggested some region-based matchmaking was at play. Oh well! There are some better 3DS games out there that I'd still like to play online one last time before their servers shut down this April.

Tetris...on a McDonald's Nugget

Continuing the trend of 'make video on a recent find' for the third video in a row, it's the China-exclusive McDonald's Tetris Chicken McNugget! For an unscripted Things of Interest video, it turned out pretty well, kinda like the Rhythm Tengoku arcade video in 2022! Compared to the first unscripted TOI back in like 2018, I've definitely gotten a bit better at rambling since.

I was kind of a few days late to the party, and some other videos about the Tetris Nugget from larger channels have racked up more views since, but that's not really the point! As a casual Tetris fan that happens to be in proximity to mainland China, something as bizarre as this is totally right up my alley. Covering China-exclusive gaming stuff just kinda reminds me that I have yet to do a video on the iQue Player though, which I really want to...

FlashBoy Plus: The $95 Virtual Boy Flashcart

I haven't really taken a YouTube sponsorship deal yet, but I do get emails about doing reviews or ad reads of items on occasion, like new Switch gaming accessories from different third parties and whatnot. Unfortunately, that's not really the type of stuff I do regularly on the channel unless I find a great angle to tackle it from, so the only review offer I've done on the channel until now is a limited Switch physical release in 2020.

When I was offered to review the FlashBoy Plus, I was definitely intrigued despite having already previously covered the HyperFlash 32, a technically better option! Virtual Boy flashcarts are already a very niche thing, so I gladly took the opportunity to take a look at any new option out there, and even if it's not a mainstream topic at all it does kinda appeal to me specifically.

In the video, I mentioned the (very cool looking) clear cartridge shell was not a publicly available option yet at the time of the review, but looking at the order site now, it has been added since! So hey, good for them! It is honestly pretty sick to have a transparent Virtual Boy cartridge.

Playing PC Games with the SNES Mouse & Famicom Keyboard

I started work on the next core video right after the FlashBoy Plus video (more on that in the last section), but getting sick during early December forced me to delay it, so for that month I decided to do one last spontaneous idea: a followup to the 2021 video where I used the Famicom keyboard and SNES Mouse on a computer...but this time on a proper PC!

A thing that was brought up in the comments was one setting in particular: when I was changing the mouse settings in the Control Panel, there was a 'Enhance pointer precision' option that I didn't uncheck, which presumably slows down the mouse for precise movements. There wasn't a super noticeable difference when I unchecked it during further testing, but when I coupled it with further increasing the mouse sensitivity in games that allow you to change it in-game, I was actually able to get the SNES Mouse to move at a decent pace in some games! Of course, that requires tweaking with additional settings that would normally be overkill for a regular mouse, so it's still not practical, but at least there was a setup that would alleviate some of my complaints in the video.

Akfamilyhome Plus videos

Over on my second channel Akfamilyhome Plus, once again there's a variety of stuff! There's Mario Wonder memes, a new high quality video game rip album, archival footage and more. If there's one thing you should check out though, it's the supercuts of me playing Everybody 1-2-Switch with my Discord server. It's the best kind of chaos. Long live Kitchen Timer 4.

This year, 8 new unscripted bonus videos were released publicly! You can enjoy watching me:

Visit the 3DS eShop on its final day of operation

Check out the Nintendo DSi XL Demo Video carts

Look through gaming goodies on a Chinese second-hand market

Unseal Captain Toad Treasure Tracker for the 3DS

Read through the 2010 Nintendo Anti-Piracy Manual

Unbox a complete copy of the original GBA Play-Yan

Compare the two popular 3DS capture card models

And check out the Nintendo Power...rewritable cartridge!

And over on Patreon, 8 more exclusive videos are also available, featuring things like a slew of Nintendo cleaning kits, iQue DS games, the Chinese Mario Movie DVD and more! As always if you don't want to wait till some of them rotate into public availability, they're all available on Patreon for just $1 USD a month!

The fuuuuture

Okay, so what's next for 2023?

I mean 2024. Oh god the typos are already starting.

Right before the FlashBoy Plus video came out, in late June 2023, I did a video topic poll on Patreon, asking what idea I should do next. Out of the four options given, one of them is a continuation of a limbo project from 2021, and the other three were spontaneous new core video ideas I came up with and wanted to do.

Well, one of the spontaneous new ideas won the poll, so the next core video is...

A look at the camera and sound apps on both the Nintendo DSi and 3DS! I originally wanted to get this out in December, and you all know what happened to that plan, BUT the script is done, the VO recording is done, footage recording is well underway and I am confident I'll be able to get it out this January. I really like how the script for this one shaped up and am commissioning some banger thumbnail art for it (🐦), so I REALLY hope you'll look forward to it!

Afterwards, there are a few in-progress ideas that I also want to work on for quick videos afterwards. As mentioned above, I visited Nintendo Live 2023 Hong Kong which was hosted on November, and ALSO the Nintendo Hong Kong Pop-Up Store which is running from December to January, so both of those would make for a perfect video in a similar vein as the Kirby Pop-Up Store video last year!

I also went on a trip to Japan last August, and took quite a bit of photos and footage. I still want to share my findings and experiences of being in Tokyo for the first time that I could remember, so there will be a fun little piece about that going on the Plus channel in the future!

And don't forget, I'm making a video about every game I beat during 2023, continuing the thing I started last year!

And after ALL of the above is done, I still have the remaining core video ideas from the June Patreon poll I did, since I did say I'd eventually love to do all of them, and that desire still hasn't gone away. I don't know how the rest of 2024 will go for this channel but I'd say this is a fantastic starting point, and I hope it'll all go up from there, since I'd really love to be more productive on here, while trying to keep that A-B-C balance in check!

So yeah! That's it for the 2023 Year in Review. If you've made it all the way to the bottom, thank you for reading! Here's a 25-use invite link to my Discord server as a little something! Thank you to all of you who've supported me this past year, whether you're a viewer or a patron, and I hope to keep up the work this year and try to strive for better!

[misc-obeyme]

This was amusing to me so I feel like sharing it, CC lol I hope you don't mind the newspaper I'm about to print out here :P

So, I've recently read a couple of smut mangas and seen the titles of others while I was at it.

When I first began playing Obey Me in 2019, I thought that the titles of the mangas Levi talked about were crazy and MUST be exaggerated for comical purposes. Even during my #? replay last year I still thought, 'no way the silliness and these long-ass titles are legit in the real world.'

I wasn't curious to delve deeper or research to check whether or not the aspects I deemed to be attempts at comedy were like that in reality, so I ignored it in belief that it's a part of the humour.

Man was I wrong.

Because lo and behold, this many years later I suddenly get image recommendations from mostly smut manga on my dashboard even though I've never interacted with similar posts or accounts before maybe because I used to play 'What in "Hell" is Bad?' or perhaps I was probably just destined to find a silly answer I never looked for. Anyways, I end up liking a portion of what I see and reading the corresponding mangas as a result—only to then make the hilarious discovery that certain titles can indeed be insane in both content (many are as weird as hell) and length (how much longer can one title get?)

After that I wondered why such standards get applied to manga titles and did an immensely brief, fraction-of-a-minute skim on the information: the titles help make the mangas stand out in the saturated market, give readers a sort of 'summary' on what the manga is about, and higher the chances of anime adaptation. There was also something about how title choices will eventually run out since there are so many mangas out there, so longer titles take the cake.

Well...as a writer I thought, 'I could never.' I mean, though I know it's not the same thing at all and this a completely different scenario, I can't so much as imagine choosing for my fics such a lengthy and weird not-in-a-good-way (in my opinion) title.

No offense intended to anyone, of course, but here's the thing: the manga world is a world on its own, with its own themes and norms.

As such, while some titles may be entertaining to read, as writers there are certain things/words that don't tickle our fancy or match our linguistical preferences, so our 'writer side' doesn't deem them satisfying in general or fit for our work in specific, if that makes sense, and we hence can't bear to choose them for or include them in the fics we write. It's almost like I mentally shudder at the thought of titling my writings with a manga-style sentence or a near mini-paragraph lol

I tend to suck at expressing my thoughts, but since you're a writer yourself I suppose you get what I mean, CC?

Now I babbled a lot and announced my belated discovery, I'll see myself out :P

You know quite honestly my favorite thing about those titles is coming up with some whenever I write Levi in a fic. Like it's clearly just for humor and there is no story attached to it, but they can be fun to come up with.

HOWEVER, titles in general are the absolute worst. I find them very difficult because it's like you want something that embodies what the story is about, but you also don't want anything too cheesy? I don't know, I always struggle with the feeling that my titles are cheesy lol.

It's always I either don't come up with anything and post the fic sans title, something comes to me like a bolt of lightning out of the blue, OR I spend untold amounts of time agonizing over it before finally picking a single word.

But I have read about the trend of naming manga with basically an entire sentence. I think it's a little silly to suggest that all the titles will eventually be taken. There are so many words and word combinations in any given language that I think you could have them all be a two word titles and not end up with repeats.

Though this kind of thing tends to be dictated more by the market and how well things sell rather than how much sense they make. If manga publishing companies are seeing a spike in sales due to manga's with a sentence for a title, then they're going to keep on doing that.

Anyway, I think I do understand what you mean! Titles are tricky and if I can avoid coming up with one, I often will lol.

[beannary]

I need to see that TOA fanfic wip right now please <3<3<3

Ok here you go! I put it under the cut so this post isn’t super long

Eli paces back and forth in his room, mind racing as he begins to connect the dots. It just doesn’t make any sense, but also it makes the most amount of sense given all of his observations. And considering all the other strange and mysterious things that have been happening in Arcadia, it really isn’t even that outlandish of a theory.

But no, Eli is not going to be jumping to conclusions. He’s a scientist, or at least an aspiring scientist. He has his observations, he just needs to make a hypothesis and conduct an experiment. That’s the only way he can know for sure if he’s on the right track.

He stops pacing and stares intently at the list he has tacked up on his cork board.

Pale skin? Check. Never goes out in the sunlight? Check.

And ok maybe those are the only two definitive characteristics the subject displays but in combination with all the other weird behaviors he exhibits, this is the only logical conclusion that Eli can come up with. Douxie, the teen who works at Benoit’s and at GDT Books has to be a vampire, and Eli is going to be the one to prove it.

First things first, Eli has to present his theory to other people. Obviously he can’t do this all by himself. No scientist can do an entire experiment all by themself, it has to be peer reviewed to be legit. Duh.

Now Steve is…well he’s not the most scientifically minded, so Eli knows he can’t only rely on his Creep Slaying partner. He’ll need to get Krel in on this, and it wouldn’t be a bad idea to include Toby too. He’s going to need all the help he can get if he wants to conduct experiments on a potential vampire without his cover being blown.

He presents his observations before the council on one sunny Friday afternoon during their lunch hour. Eli has never been more thankful for the school’s open campus, which gives them just enough privacy, as they sit at one of the gross plastic tables that are littered around campus, without looking as if they are outright avoiding people.

Steve frowns, deep in thought as Eli finishes presenting his observations. “That makes so much sense! No one that hot could be human.”

“That’s what I was thinking!” Eli nods excitedly. “Well ok, that’s some of what I was thinking. That and all the other things I mentioned.”

“I have absolutely no idea what you two are talking about,” Krel deadpans. “In fact, I have not a single clue what you have been talking about for the past twenty minutes. What is this vamped ire you speak of?”

“Vampires are a type of monster from human mythology,” Eli explains as he pulls out his phone and opens up google. “They’re undead creatures that feed on human blood and have like a whole lot of other powers and stuff!”

Eli hands Krel his phone, with the wikipedia page for vampires pulled up. “Anyways,” Eli says, turning to Steve and Toby, leaving Krel to do his research. “We need to figure out a way to prove that Douxie is a vampire, or to prove he isn’t a vampire.”

“Oh! Maybe he sparkles in the sun!” Toby suggests.

“Oh my god just like in Twilight,” Steve says excitedly.

Eli frowns. “Wouldn’t we have noticed him sparkling? That was the whole thing in Twilight, I think. They lived in Washington specifically to stay out of the sun.”

“Yeah but that same logic applies to regular vampires too,” Toby points out. “I think you’re onto something with the vampire thing though. I mean the changelings had a way to go out in the sun without hurting themselves. Who knows what vampires might have to protect themselves. Plus, hiding in plain sight is the best way to go unnoticed. No one would ever think to look for a vampire in SoCal.”

“I didn’t even think of that,” Eli says as he digs in his backpack for his theories notebook. He pulls it out and clicks his pen a few times before jotting down some notes. “If we are operating on that logic then getting him into the sun won’t help us at all.”

“Couldn’t we just ask him?” Steve says. “That’s sort of like what Bella did.”

“I think I am still confused,” Krel says as he hands Eli his phone back. “Who is this Bella person and why do you keep on speaking of a time of night?”

Toby gasps in mock offense. “Krel, have you not seen the most culturally important human film, Twilight?”

“No? I have not been on this mudball for a full earth year. When would I have had the time to partake in the going to the movies?”

“Oh Krel, my man,” Toby drapes his arm across Krel’s shoulders. “We are going to have a movie night where we introduce you to the majesty that is the Twilight series.”

Krel eyes Toby warily. “...right.”

“We need to focus guys!” Eli snaps his fingers in front of Toby’s face to get him to pay attention. “We can totally watch Twilight after we figure out if Douxie is a vampire or not, and to do that we need to figure out a plan!”

“Uh isn’t the plan obvious though?” Steve says. “All we have to do is get some blood.”

“Yeah but don’t we need something more structured? What if something goes wrong?”

“I don’t think so,” Toby says. “I mean we all have blood with us all the time.” Krel coughs and pointedly looks at Toby. “Right, almost all of us have blood with us all the time. All we have to do is bleed and then we’ll know for sure.”

“But how do we bleed at the bookstore without it looking weird?”

“Does it have to be at the bookstore?” Toby asks. “If we go to Benoit’s and Douxie is our server, all we have to do is cut ourself on a knife and we can see his reaction.”

“And if it goes badly then we have these bad boys to protect us,” Steve says as he flexes his arms.

Eli sighs in disappointment. “I guess this plan works.”

“Aw what’s wrong E-man?” Steve asks.

“I just thought this plan would be, I don’t know more involved or something. Just showing up and bleeding all over the place isn’t very scientific,,” Eli shrugs.

“Yeah but it is the most surefire way to see if he is a vampire,” Toby points out.

#

They arrive at Benoit’s approximately half an hour after school lets out. The restaurant is blissfully empty, exactly as Eli was hoping.

“Oh wait,” Eli says just before the group enters the restaurant. He sets his backpack down on the ground and unzips it. “We should each have one of these on us before we go in, just in case things get hairy.” He takes out a stake and hands one to each of the party members.

“A piece of wood?” Krel asks as he takes the stake and turns it over in his hand.

“Wow,” Toby breathes out. “How did you get these?”

Eli smiles and pushes up his glasses. “A Creep Slayer is always prepared for all circumstances.”

“I am not even going to ask why you have given me this,” Krel says as he pockets the stake.

“Alright team! Let’s go catch us a vampire!” Steve shouts before rushing into the restaurant.

Immediately things go awry.

“No, unfortunately we are not able to accommodate outdoor seating at this time,” the hostess smiles politely at the group of teens. “I can, however, place you in Douxie’s section as you requested if you are still intending on dining with us?”

Eli frowns, but nods in confirmation. The hostess smiles and gathers up a few menus before leading them to their table.

“Any reason why he can’t serve us outdoors?” Toby asks.

“Well other than the fact that Douxie’s section is indoors today, he also hates working outdoors,” the hostess explains as they take their seats. “Says he burns too easily or whatever,” she shrugs and sets down the menus. “Douxie will be over in just a moment to get you started with drinks,” she says before hurrying back to her position.

As soon as the hostess is gone Eli whips out his notebook and excitedly jots down some notes.

[deathlygristly]

Still thinking about people saying they were traumatized by books. Which yeah, I reblogged that post that was worded a bit more absolutist than I usually like to word things myself, but I keep coming back to it and checking the notes to try and understand the people who take exception to it and who say that they were traumatized by books they read in school.

Sometimes I run across posts on here that make me feel deeply uncomfortable for a few minutes. Mostly ones that are comics about the death of cats that people didn't tag with any of the various tags I have blocked for animal death and illness and injury. I try to scroll past them as quickly as I can or close the app, but I still see enough to make me feel desperately sad and cry a bit before I can stop looking.

I wonder if that deeply uncomfortable but transitory feeling is what they're calling traumatized or triggered?

Based on my own experiences that built my wordbox around those words, I think of being traumatized as a life-threatening event that you can't escape from, which happened to me a few times in my childhood. The effects of that made me much more vulnerable to the second trauma, the Bad Times.

Yes, there's nuance of course, like a whole tangent I could go on about how I could have cut contact with the ex-best friend at any point but the previous trauma made that hard, but the main point is that I tend to think of traumatic events as being much more hard to escape from than a post you can scroll past or a book you can close.

Even if you're reading it for school, there are ways to not do the reading and still do the assignments. I know this because when I search for things about old books I very often see links to sites with study guides and whole essays you could plagiarize. And even back in my day, bookstores had SparkNotes prominently displayed.

I tend to think of triggered as having an involuntary reaction to something that reminds you of past trauma. Books can definitely do that. I know because it wasn't long into my attempt to read the first ASOIAF book that I got majorly triggered. And I get how if a book you're reading for school triggers you due to past trauma, that past trauma could also make it hard for you to speak up and advocate for yourself and ask for some sort of accommodation.

Where I get stuck though is the idea that you could read a book once and it could change how your nervous system works.

Like you could go to an oral surgeon and he looks at your mouth and asks if you have a lot of stress, and you could say "Well, yeah, I read a book once as a kid." Or you could develop an ulcer without taking NSAIDs until they were prescribed for the chest pain and also while being negative for h.pylori. Tumblr is weird about links but there are research studies that indicate a possible higher chance of ulcers in people with PTSD. Or you will spend decades if not your whole life jumping and/or screaming at sudden noises and movements and touches after you read the book.

I get that books and TV shows and movies could possibly trigger past trauma. But I don't get how they could be the original cause of the trauma. I tried asking in the trauma forum and it just made people mad at me, which was, you know, slightly triggering, so I deleted it, but I legit don't understand and I would like an explanation.

[doctorghoti]

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

TELL ME ALL THE THINGS

Buddy boy, math and character count say that’s around 400 sunflowers. I am not typing out that many random things. That being said, I will provide… an arbitrary number of them.

1. I am mad that the Disney Animation Research Library is not open to the public. I get it, that’s a lotta history in there, but can I at least make an appointment? I just wanna see the old goods. Can I say I’m writing papers for fun and want to look at supplemental materials? Or that I really REALLY want to see if Disney artists ever drew more than, like, the two poses they put Jose in for the promotional materials for Saludos Amigos and The Three Caballeros?

2. Is media studies a legit degree or is that one of those degrees academics laugh at? I certainly am not going to get paid by Disney to write about Disney in an unbiased way. But I vastly prefer research and learning over teaching or tutoring others. Or maybe I just miss writing. Who knows.

3. Cockroaches have multiple brains, which might explain how they can live so long without their heads. That being said, I’ve met some dumb cockroaches. Once spent about 30 minutes trying to pry one from a lint roller. Every time I got one leg up, it’d IMMEDIATELY plop it back down on the sticky paper. Do you know how delicate their little legs are? Anyways, I think cockroaches need more love. Same for flies.

4. Since you posted so SO many flowers, I am thinking about them. Honeysuckles are my favorite mainly for the joy of pinching off the ends for that tiny little spot of nectar that comes from them.

5. Not here, but perhaps I’ll ramble about some story ideas over Discord. I think you’ll like Curator, he’s a morally dubious scientist/god/bird man. He misses his wife, Tails.

[streep-mulgrew-anderson]

💫 2022 💫

Going into to 2022, there were still many things from 2021 I was waiting for… those pre Emmy pics on the stairs and for Gillian to actually acknowledge Ninapharm. 

For me, I had nothing but hope and optimism at the start of the year. Surely it can’t get any worse… right??

So all of this is written in the moment. Well, it should be interesting to see if some vibes actually came to be. Here we go…

January 

January started off painfully slow. I believe Gillian was filming in Pennsylvania maybe?? Maybe not. Anyway. 6 days into January and what like 2 -3 weeks since we had seen her, Gillian was spotted eating scones and drinking tea and posed for a picture sending everyone into relief that she was in fact still alive. And then on the 8th she finally posted something; Nelson. But it wouldn’t be until the 26th that she would finally post a selfie… saving the world. January ended with two new videos. One of Gillian interviewing FLEE director Jonas Poher Rasmussen. Love how she started the interview completely American and then the next minute she’s full on Brit! And the other, Gillian wearing silk Pjs, giving a look to die for. So after January starting incredibly slowly, it ended with Gillian being back in her active on social media era. 

February 

February started with Gillian working with yet another beauty company, only, she’s promoting it this time. And of course, Stella joined in the fun. Then Gillian decided she was going to be more active in one day on Twitter than she has been in weeks, and legit asked to play Sarah Paulsen’s wife. Robin robin was nominated for an Oscar. She then did a sit down Q and A thing that was amazing. Gillian also seems to have gotten an Apple Watch for Christmas which surprise surprise has Stella as the background. Gillian also entered her podcast era which has not been as exciting as I thought it would be. She really only talks for the first and last 5 minutes. I’m sure she puts in a lot of time researching which story to use but I was a little disappointed (And it’s actually mostly written by her social media manager...but I didn’t tell you that) Feb ended with G’s appearance at Whodunnit 2’ at Park Theatre.

March

March started with a fresh pfp and header… which I had first on my Twitter so she clearly stole my idea. We got to see some behind the scenes shots of Gillian recording her podcast. Gillian went to LA…. Honestly didn’t see that one coming with a commitment in Cannes days after. As soon as I saw Robin Robin scored an Oscar nom, I thought… I so can see her going to the Oscars. Gillian did some First Lady press. I didn’t think press would start soon so but I’m not complaining. And I’ve got my fingers and toes crossed for gillovny content. Of course though, none of that happened, we just got Stella playing ball in a London park. Gillian signed a deal with Netflix to produce some new tv shows and holy shit I’m so proud. And you know me, I’m a sucker for a good theory so in my humble opinion that certain contract with a certain someone really paid off, I just wish it didn’t have to play out like that. Her production company has actually been a thing for a really long time. 

April

April started off with Gillian being awarded the icon award at Cannes series. I found it odd though that nothing was posted to her socials of her getting ready beforehand because pretty much every event she goes to, she does. (? change in SM manager?) Though the next day before her Q&A she did post some before hand stuff and then did post stuff from the day before. Honestly am loving this phase she is going through. Though, it was at about this time that a fear crept into my mind. A fear that I thought was left behind in 2020… 

The first lady press that was filmed back in Match started airing. It definitely doesn’t seem like a strong Emmy campaign which I find strange too. Gillian also realised more stuff with windsor London, not that she promoted it. Gillian did end up going to LA again and attended Jimmy Kimmel in person which has always been a great interview. In a quick recap, she ran into a door and talked about eating her penis cake. Gillian also decided to start wearing earrings in her seconds again. And as someone who has their seconds pierced, I’m loving this and can’t wait to see if she continues to do it to get some inspiration. 

Gillian attended the First Lady premiere and omg I actually loved the bright pink pantsuit. I obviously only started following Gillian during lockdown so it’s actually so cool to see her back out again on red carpets. And then Gillian just casually dropped that Sex Ed has been pushed back again and won’t start filming till the end of summer through till march. Like are you kidding me. I don’t think I can wait that long. It better be fucking good. So within like 48 hours, Gillian jetted out of LA with a video reel on her Instagram which was adorable. I’m loving this era of Gillian. And also they re pierced her ears apparently for Jimmy Kimmel only because it was gone by the next day.

The First Lady started to air. The first episode left me a little on the fence. I think because the Obama and Ford eras are more recent than the Rossavelts, that’s why maybe it’s not exactly hitting the mark straight away. I’m actually okay with the timeline being all over the place. Gillian is obviously acing it but it is unfortunately that story line that so far is what is letting the show down. Gillian of course posted some behind the scenes shots to mark the show starting. The 18th of April passed with unfortunately no selfie update. Gillian also did a photo shoot for L’Officiel which is surprisingly her first one of the year and again was perfect. 

May

How are we in May already! May started with me holding on to a really slim hope that Gillian would attend the Met gala. I know she mostly hated it last year but there a few subtle clues indicating that she might attend. But then I realised that she already had an event booked for that day 😫 and then it turns out she didn’t even go to either event. Gillian, still in her Instagram reel era posted one of her time on set of the First Lady. Honestly though, she actually seems like so much fun to work with. Connie posted the absolute most gorgeous photo of Gillian and piper which of course Gillian shared. Gillian, still in her influencer era was spotted filming so ads in London. We had our first Gillovny moment of the year. Connie posted a pic of them and Gillian tagged David and added it to her stories. David let the team down and never publicly acknowledged it but we all know he slid into her DMs… well…. He was probably already there. 

So then this video of From Jimmy Kimmel came out and Gillian AND David were in it and next to each other (not really though)

The First Lady continued to air and holy shit seeing Gillian kiss a woman multiple times changed my life and made me rethink the last year of Gillian content. 

Gillian recorded a reading for Women's Prize for Fiction: Virtual Shortlist Festival 2022 which was completely toaster quality. 

As the First Lady continues to air, I’m surprisingly falling more in love with it. And then May ended with actually footage of Gillian and her most likely re heated soggy chips. If you know what I mean by this then don’t talk to me about it because I am holding onto a thin string trying not to do the same. I wish that toaster would just disappear. I’m not surprised just disappointed. And for people who hate the judgement, 1I’ve never dated someone that all my friends have liked. It’s basically the blue print of being a friend. As long as she’s happy that’s all that really does matter. We all know she could do so much better but at the same time we all know a fraction of the truth, which is all we should know anyway. Connie tried to save the day though. 

June

That ad G filmed in May was realised and like damn! Connie fed us again. She honestly needs to release a book. AND THEN gillian posted the same photo tagging David. David left us hanging again… publicly anyway. Like he's got a book to promote so you think he’d be all over her posts. But on said book promotion he actually sort of threw her under the bus. Someone needs to send these two some gillovny videos to remind them how perfect they are and to get over their egos but then yet again, we know nothing about the truth and I’m just gonna shut up. 

Gillian modelled for Chloe. 

The First Lady finished and I never thought I would become so attached to that show. It definitely missed the mark and I think that was because it wasn’t really all that linear in it’s story. I think having the 3 story lines was a bit much. But otherwise, Eleanor and Hick spin off?? It’s been ages too since I watched a show that you can just binge watch all at once so it made my Sunday’s just that more enjoyable. She then did an interview with gold derby and damn her nails! Glad she also confirmed that she hasn’t worked since February because I was starting to get worried and that she will be filming sex ed in September. Gillian went to paramount plus uk launch and holy shit I forgot how to breath. It’s the tan and the bleached hair that ended me. Disappointed she ditched her black nails for her usual colour but when considering the rest of the fit was perfect, how can you complain. The trailer for white bird a wonder story finally came out. G loved it up in Glastonbury. 

July 

July started off slow. Gillian did an amazing podcast about mental health which I loved. We are half way through this year and it’s been slow. I mean like she has said that she hasn’t been working a lot which is obvious. She only filmed one thing this year with possible 3 things coming out all up. And at this point nothing new has been announced. Not even from her Netflix deal. I’m a little worried maybe. More worried about what she’s planning… any way it definitely doesn’t seem that she is going full on campaign mode like she did for the Emmy’s last year which is a shame. Sex education has finally started filming which is making me nervous because I swear to god if they ruin one of my favourite comfort characters arc even more i will scream. Emmy noms came out and wtf. I thought for sure she would get one. The First Lady got completely snubbed which I get because it wasn’t amazing but I thought it would get at least something in the major categories. And then The Great leads all got nominated but that was it. So disappointing. At least Gillian really loved those characters but it is a major snub considering her clean sweep last year. I think the team behind the first lady just really really missed the mark. They had three amazing lead actresses who at least one of them could have got nominated but it didn’t happen. And July ended slow. 

August

Ah August. Got my clown costume ready to go! I’m glad the last few weeks have been quite because at this point in time I had a really bad work crush and was basically picking up as many overtime shifts as I could and was a very nice welcomed distraction. Anyway. 

The First Lady got cancelled which I’m disappointed with but not surprised. I’m mean at least it doesn’t effect Gillian because she wouldn’t be in the next season. I think they got it all completely wrong. Everything about it was just messy. 

Gillian entered her unhinged era on twitter. I mean, she practically always been there but clearly has stepped it up a bit. One thing she is in though is her unemployment era. 

David’s birthday came…. And David’s birthday passed. We all know they definitely spoke privately but yeah. I would like to think they are on a nice holiday together or something. At least G probably is before she starts filming sex Ed next month. I mean they both were unusually quite for this time of the year. But we love a last minute goofy selfie and some cute thank you replies. Thanks to David for a poorly timed tweet about a recent book he read. I’m not buying it. Maybe public birthday messages will be once every 2 years from now on. At least we got some tbt tags this year on Gillian’s behalf. 

The roller coaster that is sex education promotion started. 

And then we saw the second confirmation for the year about what should not be named. Look, we don’t know the ins and outs of her private life and all that matters is that she’s happy but I just don’t see it. And listen, for everyone who’s like I don’t understand people complaining about it, from my perspective, when you care about someone, your critical of them including their choice in partner. I’ve heard that much rumours that I don’t know what to think anymore. But also, until she confirms it and the words ( or photo) come out of her mouth, im taking it with a grain salt… unfortunately maybe a large grain of salt. They could actually be ex’s that are friends. But at the end of the day if it makes her happy that’s all that matters. 

August ended with ? Gillian in her swiftie era. But let’s be real, in 2016 she’s never heard of bad blood so….

September 

Ah September, you’ve been so anticipated. G finally started filming sex education. And just a reminder she basically hasn’t worked since February and has nothing else booked and this year has been painful slow with stuff relating to Gillian, at least compared to last year. She clealry must be working on something big considering she is not good at taking breaks. 

She now owns 4 chickens apparently too. 

Ninapharm continued to release pictures from that photo shoot campaign that Gillian has weirdly chosen to ignore. 

Gillian, once again for the how many time this year, returned from the dead to go to the Burberry show in London. Forgot we were still in that era. She was seated next to ANNA WINTOUR (also across from Kanye)…. So….. what's coming next. I don’t know, I find it all maybe slightly bizarre. Loving it, don’t get me wrong but just… interesting. I mean she has launched clothing before, maybe all this fashion stuff she is suddenly doing is research for something bigger?? She has been to fashion shows in the past but not as much as she is doing now. 

October 

… and Gillian enters the month still basically unemployed. I might be a bit nervous. White bird was suppose to come out this month, the pale blue eyes in December and sex education is probably half way through filming and then… nothing. I mean surely she’s working on something but still. 

But as my life pretty much feel apart, it’s good to see Gillian’s is not as she changed her twitter pfp to sponge bob. Yep, you read that right. All I would like to say is who gave her her twitter password back this year?? I thought she would only have it like that briefly but it stayed for like a week. A whole week. And the like 2 times she tweeted during that week, no one was taking her seriously. 

White bird a wonder story was supposed to come out this month but disappeared off the face of the earth. I never watch the first one but this movie seemed really good on paper. I know Gillian said they wanted to aim it for festivals but then the release date got pushed from September to October but when the trailer got released it got a really bad reception. I’m not totally sure why. Isn’t it a book? From what I understand people were shocked about some of its context but surely that’s the same as the book right? Anyway I was really looking forward to having more Gillian content because it’s been a hot minute but I guess the wait shall continue. 

So she now does adds for Netflix too. That producer deal is really being put to good work. For someone who had such a successful previous year, I don’t understand this one. I guess we are getting employed through doing ads now. I might keep that in mind. 

Photos and a trailer were released for pale blue eyes. Finally something!!

Stella dressed up as little bo peep for Halloween and Gillian continued to aid fuel to the fire that she has reclaimed back her twitter password… I mean… do you really think that’s it’s someone else tweeting things like that on a Saturday evening at midnight? Because wouldn’t something like that have to be approved because it’s written under her name. That’s why I think it’s actually her. 

And, I just have to add this because it hit me right in the feels, Piper wore one of Gillian’s dresses for Halloween and omg 

November 

November started off with a Gillovny moment! Winning! So Gillian re posted a fans remake of an iconic Gillovny photo shot for a Halloween. I absolutely love how much she has posted gillovny throw backs this year. David’s left us hanging every time though. But I’m is anyone else noticing how much she is reposting fans stuff lately?????? And surprise surprise, David left us hanging yet again. But not to worry, Connie continued posting Gillovny throw backs. 

Gillian went to the crown season 5 premiere which you don’t want to hear my opinion on. Hasn’t she been to enough of them?? Fair enough the last one didn’t happen ( side not… she was the only former cast member there) and she won all the awards but pleaseeeeeeee I don’t want to hear about it. But I mean… if it makes her happy and look I would be doing the same thing if my anxiety and overthinking didn’t always get in the way. …. Maybe he is the British version of Pete Davison?????

David also deleted his twitter. Mourning all the gillovny that gos with that. Gillian…. Don’t you dare. Really grieving all those twitter interactions. 

You know what else really annoys me, how critical people are of what she wears and how she does her hair. 

Twitter continues to live so Gillian continues to post penises but still RIP David. Either new social media girl is totally unhinged or Gillian has that password back. 

Gillian left the house again and went to a screening of pale blue eyes. 

December 

And so we have reached the final month… and Gillian is still unemployed. So hoping she is working on something big. That Netflix deal looking like a flop right about now?? Almost a year out of the two signed for done. 

So it turns out Gillian started a beverage company, G-spot in march… so that’s what she’s been doing?? And other production company… something bigs coming right?? But at the same time, she had it for how long and done nothing with it. The website was also created in July and barely touched. I just want to really know what someone who doesn’t understand the word relax has been doing for 12 months. But like at the same time, she started Fiddleheads something like 20 year ago and it only ever was reported once so I’m not that hopefully about all these. Just like how her novels were going to be turned in a series…

Gillian started doing press for The Pale Blue Eye… again, a role that is probably going to be less than 10 minutes is getting more press from her than the last season of Sex Education. And she annoucemed her unemployment era is ending in January and from the way shes talking, 2023 sounds booked and busy. At least we don’t have to wait long. I’m surprised she only said… “i have a thing I’m starting i Jaunary that hasn’t been aoounced”. Usually she would be all like I’m doing this thing with… about… but i can’t talk about it. And it actually sounded like she said she had two things coming up…. Dr Who maybe? And maybe she kows White Bird A Wonder Storys new realise date as well because she mentioned that was coming up soon. 

And to finish it all, she wished everyone a Merry Clitmas Christmas which took me wayyy to long to pick up. 

So, hey! We made it! This year for me has been on pair with last year.. actually probably worse. I’ve lost a damn lot this year and been through things that I didn’t see coming. But maybe that’s what happens when you stop being silent and putting up with crap?? Safe to say all I did this year was survive. 

Any way, davidduchovny on twitter I miss you. Gillian… I love you… but what is going on. 

Next year is one I’m definitely excited for. I’m spending 4 weeks in Vancouver which co insides with the x files 30th anniversary and then the following 2 in London. I’m nervous but excited. And I’m so hopping I get to meet Gillian. I’m apprehensive about booking too much of the trip because I am definitely the person who will drop anything to be where she is during the 6 weeks… just as long as it doesn’t fall on the day of the wedding I’m going too. I’m also planning on maybe resigning from my job when I get home from the trip which scares the shit out of me that I'm ready to walk away from my dream job😬 the 6 weeks is also going to be me seeing if maybe I could maybe take the plunge and move over to London… all I care about is that my cat can come too. But there is a part of me that wants to stay just to prove a point 

So here’s to 2023; more Gillovny, a brand new chapter and finally hopefully positive vibes and progress. 

Oh, and Gillian, no more penis posts please!

[faorism]

hardison was CHILL with greg the deliveryman before the fucker stole The Vestments of the Atal'ai Prophet drop from jammal'an that greg KNEW was the only reason hardison was escorting greg in the first place like he KNEW hardison wanted them after the 2010 patch bumped up the item's armor stat which would work with one of his smurf accounts but hardison never had an excuse to run the temple of atal'hakkar again until greg asked and tHEN THE FUCKER TAKES HIS VESTMENTS. i would be mad too.

[dubersbutt]

I have a couple ideas for the poly fic

1. Telling them you love them like when you first told Leon or whatever?

2. Stealing their clothes?

3. Them taking care of a hurt you?

Words: 1.4K

Warnings: none - all fluff

1) Telling Leon you love him

One of the first things Leon learns in your relationship is that you have really bad periods. He feels his heart ache every time he sees you curled up in bed or on the couch. Especially when you manage to lift your head long enough to ask for water and he can see the trails of tears on your cheeks. He and Connor have done extensive research into alleviating period cramps, but nothing seems you help you.

They keep a heat pad plugged in behind the bed so you can roll over and grab it during the night, but in the day you usually prefer to have one of them lay on your stomach - kinda like a weighted blanket.

Leon's sitting with you in his lap on the couch, your legs are wrapped around his waist tightly. He can feel your breath against his neck as he runs his hand over your back.

"You okay?" he asks after you haven't moved a muscle in about 10 minutes.

"Sometimes I manage to orient myself and my uterus calms down," you say, voice soft, "I'm afraid if I move I'll anger her."

He kisses the top of your head, settling deeper into the couch as he realizes he'll be there for a while.

"I'm sorry," you say, "If you want me to get up I will."

"Don't apologize," he says, "I'll stay here as long as you need me."

He meant it. He'd be your cuddle post as long as you wanted him to be there. Plus, if you were sleeping on him then Connor would have to be the one who has to go grocery shopping in -30º.

"I love you," he almost doesn't hear it, how softly you whisper the words, "And I'm not just saying this because I'm emotional. I-i've been wanting to say it for a while."

Leon's not a super emotional person, but he legit feels like crying.

"I love you to," he responds, "And I'm not just saying that cause you look like you're on your deathbed."

You laugh, lightly swatting him on the shoulder.

"Can you tell Connor to pick up cookie dough on his way home."

~~~

Connor has much less finesse.

Leon's watching him dance behind the wheel to some godawful country song you don't let him play when you're in the car. They're high off a BOA win, but they're both positively exhausted.

"I love you," Leon says once the song ends.

He laughs when Connor's eyes go wide as he processes what was just said. His fingers tighten around the steering wheel as the panic takes over his face.

(If Leon hadn't known Connor so well he would've been scared he fucked everything up. You had even warned Leon in advance that Connor would probably be....extremely awkward at best. Connor had told you he loved you first, but not verbally. He bought a cake from the grocery store and a little tube of icing that he used to write 'I love you'. He didn't even tell you what he had done, just let you find the cake in the fridge after dinner.)

Connor clears his throat, "Cool."

"Cool?" Leon repeats, amused, "I just said I love you and that's all I get."

Connor coughs again, "Yup."

"Okay," Leon says, but rests his head against the car seat and closing his eyes.

A few moments later, Connor grabs Leon's hand and holds it on the gear shift.

"I-uh," Connor starts.

"You don't have to say it back," Leon says, rubbing his thumb over his hand, "I just want you to know."

"No-uh," he starts, "It's not that. It's-you know - I, uh. Feelings make me uncomfortable."

"Really?" Leon says sarcastically, "I never would have guessed."

The car ride is silent the rest of the way home, but not uncomfortable. Only Connor's atrocious country playlist keeping Leon from passing out.

When they finally pull into the garage, Connor shuts off the engine and closes the garage door before looking at Leon.

"I- uh, love you too," he stutters out, "I just- feelings make me feel icky."

2) Stealing clothes

"(Y/N)!," you hear Connor yell from the top of the stairs.

"Yes, Con," you yell back

"Where is my black OVO hoodie?"

"I don't know, babe," you respond, still yelling and knowing full well you're wearing the exact hoodie he's asking for.

"It's not in my closet but I did my laundry last night," his voice is quieter now as he turns the corner of the kitchen where you and Leon are eating sandwiches.

"You did your laundry?" Leon asks between mouthfuls.

"Leon did my laundry," Connor clarifies with a roll of his eyes, "Thank you, Leo, I love you, Leo. You're the best boyfriend in the world, Leo."

"I know I am."

"Then why are you asking me?" you say, waiting to see if he'll notice what you're wearing. Connor was oblivious to both the massive hoodie that drapes your frame, and also Leon's smirk as he realizes what you're doing.

"You take my stuff all the time," he says, stealing a bite of Leon's sandwich.

"Not this time, Con," you reply, trying not to laugh.

"It was there last night, and poof it's gone," Connor's face wrinkles in thought, "I don't think I wore it last night."

"I'm fairly certain you were naked most of last night," Leon pipes up.

Connor turns a deep shade of red, "Shut up."

"Aw," you say, stretching on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek, "I love that you get embarrassed talking about sex with the two people you have sex with."

"You're not funny," he says, trying to steal another bite of Leon's sandwich.

"Get your own," Leon exclaims, pulling away.

"I'm not that hun-" he stops short, narrowing his eyes at you.

"You turd!" he says pointing at his hoodie, "You're wearing my hoodie."

"Turd?" you exclaim, unable to control your laughter, "What are you 13?"

"You stole my hoodie and then didn't tell me you we wearing it," he says, exasperated, "That is prime turd behaviour."

"I want it back."

"Yeah," you ask, arching an eyebrow, "Come take it from me."

3) You being hurt

"I can't believe you broke your ankle tripping over Bowie," Leon says, shaking his head as he fluffs the pillow that's elevating your leg.

"First of all, it's a fracture," you say, "Second of all, your dog has no manners. He walked in front of me when I was bringing in the big delivery box -which you ordered ,we don't need patio furniture, it's winter Leon - and I didn't want to step on him."

"Don't blame my son," Leon says, indignant, "And the furniture was on sale."

"You make 8 million dollars!" you exclaim, "You can pay full price for some chairs."

~~~

"Connor," you call, using your pleasing voice, "Can you pretty please make me an iced coffee."

"Sure," he says, getting up from his spot beside you.

"Connor, no," Leon says, "She needs to start moving around, doctor said."

You pout at Connor, "But it always tastes so much better when you make it."

You're not even lying, for whatever reason Connor's always tasted so good even though he didn't do anything differently.

"Connor," Leon says, voice commanding, "you're coddling her."

"It's an iced coffee, that's hardly enough exercise to strengthen her ankle," Connor replies, pulling out your favourite Starbucks cup from the cupboard.

5 minutes later you wink at Leon as you take a sip of your perfect iced coffee.

~~~

"You have the audacity to say I'm coddling her," Connor exclaims in disbelief, "I made her an iced coffee. Look at you!"

So you had asked Leon to carry you from your office to the bedroom, but you probably would've done it even if you weren't injured.

"We have a lot of stairs. She said her foot was hurting," Leon shrugs, continuing his trek to the room, puppies trailing along behind him.

"Don't be jealous, Con," you call from over the railing, "Leo will carry you up the stairs too, if you ask nicely enough."

Connor just shakes his head, following you up the stairs. Leon lets you down on the soft carpet of your room and you hobble your way to the closet, ready to change into pyjamas. When you return to the master, Connor and Leon are already snuggled in the bed. You make your way to the bed as fast as you can.

"You little liar!" Leon exclaims, "You told me your foot hurt too much to walk up the stairs."

You shrug, taking your spot in the middle of the bed, "I stretched the truth so my strong, hot boyfriend would carry me. Sue me."

[animepopheart]

Wonder Egg Priority, Episode 11: “The Temptation of Death”?

Wonder Egg Priority is a beautiful, uncomfortable, moving and confusing series that starts out engaging all the things we don’t talk about—self-harm, abuse, rape, bullying, gender dysmorphia, and homosexuality, to name a few. Our silence and blindness to these issues have a weight and pressure to them, and WEP shows how this reinforces the isolation and hopelessness of the young women of the “eggs” who turn to suicide for relief. The first ten episodes have been exhilarating and exhausting alike.

And then there is Episode 11. This past week, the series took a bit of a turn, leaning hard into the sci-fi-philosophical, with appearances from Greek gods, a murderous artificial intelligence, and really, really disturbing insect girls, one of whom, despite being a brutal killer, is apparently a vegetarian. Has the show gone off the rails? Has it lost its way in departing from the familiar procedural approach of engaging a differing social or mental health issue with each episode?

Such a critique is perfectly legit, but before you write off the penultimate episode of WEP, just hear me out on why the abstract, meta turn in episode 11 may just be the most valuable thing this series has to offer so far.

Before we begin though, a little recap of what we learned this week. In episode 10, we hear the eggheads, Acca and Ura-Acca, discuss the need for warriors of Eros to battle Thanatos. This is our first hint that things are about to get lore-full and maybe a bit weird. Eros and Thanatos are of course gods in the ancient Greek pantheon, Eros being the god of love, and Thanatos, of non-violent death. Within the first minute or so of episode 11, it’s clear that the eggheads’ hope is now focused on Ai becoming the long-awaited warrior. At this point though, rather than continuing with Ai’s story, the episode shifts into flashback mode and we are finally introduced to the villain, an artificial intelligence created by the eggheads back when they were still human. Their lives gradually come to revolve around her: She is the fulfillment of their obsession to create life, and she is good.

Frill is associated with hydrangeas, which symbolise heartlessness and pride in Japanese flower language. But is it her heartlessness and pride, or that of her makers?

(Atelier Emily has done an outstanding series of posts on the flowers in WEP. Check it out!)

Only, it turns out she doesn’t play so nice when others join the happy family. After killing Acca’s wife, and putting the life of the unborn baby at risk, the AI—who named herself Frill—is unrepentant, all traces of her seeming humanity now revealed to be illusory, a mere affectation. Acca locks her away in a hole in the cellar. Years pass. The baby, Himari, grows up and is a ray of sunshine. But after effectively confessing to her ‘uncle’ (why does anime always do this?), she commits suicide. Ura-Acca discovers that Frill is still very much alive and active from her hole in the cellar, having powered up all the discarded monitors and laid down reams of electrical cables—to what end, we do not yet know. Though Ura-Acca surmises that she has somehow influenced Himari to take her own life. How else would the girl have known about Ura-Acca’s admiration for her mother? Where else would she have learned to make what will forever be to me now that uncannily sinister popping sound?

Here’s where it gets weirder. Unlike the suicides of subsequent egg girls, there is no indication that Himari, Frill’s apparent first victim, struggled with any mental health or other issues that would motivate her to take her own life. Indeed, her ‘uncle’ did not even reject her confession. (Again anime, why you do this thing?) Instead, the eggheads explain Himari’s suicide as being on account of the “temptation of death.” What now?

This is implying that death is somehow attractive, not just to someone facing overwhelming brokenness, trauma or pain, like the egg girls we’ve met so far, but to someone on the verge of stepping from a (relatively) happy childhood into young adulthood, with the promise of potential love to look forward to; someone who has not known suffering, but rather only smiles and cake. (To be fair, it is always possible that she experienced trauma in the womb, or was more deeply affected by her father’s sadness than Ura-Acca’s memories belie.)

That’s my question too, Ai.

The notion of death as somehow attractive or even beautiful is rather alien to Western culture. Certainly, there will always be some who romanticize death, à la star-crossed lovers (Shakespeare, I’m looking at you). But in general, Western culture views death as something ugly and frightening, something to avoid until it is staring you directly in the face, and even then, closing your eyes in denial is a perfectly reasonable response. Death is one of those things we don’t talk about. In my experience, Anglo-American culture is not very good at even mourning death. We lack the grieving rituals and observances of other cultures, and instead seek to confine death to the sealed, sanitized spaces of hospitals, care homes, and funeral parlors. We keep it shrouded tightly in silence. How could there ever be anything like the “temptation of death”? How could we ever consider death to be something desirable? Are the eggheads or CloverWorks simply aestheticising suicide and death here to make it sound deep and philosophical?

No, I don’t think that’s it. Instead, Acca and Ura-Acca are doing what all good researchers do—and indeed what all Christians, as believers in an unseen spiritual reality, are also called to do: They are looking more deeply into phenomena that seem, on the surface, to already be explained. The two idol fans were consumed with their obsession, so when their idol killed herself, they followed suit. The young woman whose identity was wrapped up in her own appearance ended her life to preserve her beauty. The abused gymnast saw no way out, no hope in ever living free from torment. Some explanations may be more sympathetic than others, but they all possess their own internal logic. Contemporary society is full of a vast array of pressures and stresses and each one, taken to breaking point, can result in death. Case closed. This might very well be our conclusion from the first ten episodes.

Only the case isn’t closed. Because there is a question that has pervaded every episode until now, but has remained unspoken: How is it that death could even become an option for the egg girls? Why does reaching a breaking point trigger suicide? What made death seem like a savior to these girls? This is the question that episode 11 tackles, in its own admittedly obscure way. The eggheads are focused on the underlying, deeper reality that unites all the eggs’ stories, as disparate as they are—the common thread, which is the idea that death is a release, a rescue, a beautiful ending, and as a result, it is tempting.

“But we wondered if there could be another push that drove them to suicide,” explains Ura-Acca.

This is a really important question for us to be asking. Because it’s not just these traumatized, vulnerable girls who fall for the seduction of death. We do, too.

Just ponder for a moment: Have you ever anticipated how wonderful it will be when, in heaven, you no longer struggle with that particular temptation? When your temper is no longer so short, when you’re not afraid of being hurt anymore? Or maybe you think about how one day, on those gold-paved streets, you won’t have to worry anymore. All your hard work coping and just keeping it together will finally pay off and you’ll cross that finish line and heave a sigh of relief, knowing that you made it in the end. Have you ever contemplated these kinds of things? I know I have.

But here’s the thing: When I expect my liberation to come only after I die and not right here, right now, then it is not Jesus who is my savior, but death. I am waiting for death to free me from temptation and sin and fear and brokenness, and usher me into eternal life. I make Thanatos my god.

The temptation of death is not limited to the drastic act of suicide, but also permeates all the accusations and fears that inspire us to put off living the fullness of life in Christ here and now. It’s the temptation to believe that it is death that will ultimately solve the more difficult and painful problems in life.

Acca and Ura-Acca seek to create a love that suits their ideals, just to relieve their stress.

The source of this “temptation of death” in Wonder Egg Priority is Frill, the AI. That is, a man-made, artificial version of love—with ai meaning “love” in Japanese. According to Ura-Acca, they made her “just for fun,” as a way of dealing with the stress of their enclosed lives. They designed her to suit their preferences, to make it easier to love her and forget that she was artificial. In this sense, Frill is the fruit of their self-centeredness, her every characteristic designed to satisfy their own ideals of how a daughter and woman should be. And this artificial love born of selfishness brings death into their midst and beyond, spreading it through the horrendous deformities of girlhood that she in turn creates, in imitation of her fathers. (Only perhaps her creations are less deceptive than theirs, wearing their monstrosity plainly on the outside…)

Frill’s creations. We’ve met Dash (right) and Dot (center), but who is that on the left? And is her name Morse??

To counter her destructive influence, Acca and Ura-Acca need true love, a genuine love. They need Ai, a messy, at times very weak human being, but one who nevertheless is willing to fight to live up to her name and maybe, just maybe, become a warrior of Eros.

There is also a deep, underlying force at work in our world, one that connects all despair and the actions born of it. A wide range of social issues, traumas and mental health challenges can and do trigger suicide, but they do not explain it fully. The deeper reality is the existence of an enemy who seeks to manipulate us into believing our true savior can only be death, whether it is right away by our own hand, or more subtly, decades from now by natural causes. But this is a lie, and it is one that we can combat. Just as I’m sure we’ll see in the final episode that Ai is equipped to wage the coming battle in WEP, so too are we armed, here and now, with the power to overwhelm the enemy’s “temptation of death”—we possess already the words of life, given to us by our true savior.

Jesus began his ministry with a public announcement that he had come to heal heart wounds, comfort those in pain, fill broken lives with beauty, and wrap those in despair with reasons to praise like a warm protective blanket, so that they might celebrate with joy once again. He came to bring freedom to prisoners and captives alike, giving a fresh new life to those locked up because of deeds done wrong, and those punished and injured at the hands of others. He came to take the outcasts, the weak, the traumatized and broken and transform them into mighty oaks, clean and strong; into people with the vision and skill and compassion and fortitude to rebuild a broken world (Isaiah 61:1-4, Luke 4:18),

He came to rewrite and restore our experience of life here on earth, and through us, to redeem our communities, cities, nations, and the world. God does not withhold the fullness of life from us until we finally make it to him in heaven. No, instead he moved heaven and earth to get right up close so that he could pour his own life out into us, even going so far as to breathe his very spirit into our hearts and bodies and minds. We don’t need to wait for death’s rescue—our hero has already come. But we do need to remind each other and ourselves of this truth pretty often, and let it work down deep into all the cracks and bruises in our souls until it strengthens all our weak spots.

In Deuteronomy 30:19, God tells the Israelites that he has given them the authority to choose between life and death. But he also tips the balances in their favor, urging them to choose life. In Jesus, he comes to tip the balances even further, making it possible for us to step into eternal life here and now, immediately and forever. So let’s do it. Each day, through each struggle we face. Let’s choose life and not death.

Warrior of love? And is Ai’s himawari (sunflower) related to Himari somehow?

Join me (in spirit) for the final episode on Tuesday to see Ai’s love triumph! (At least, I really really hope that’s what happens!)

[floralovebot]

Helia and Tecna friendship headcanons? -lambofzenith

AHHHHHHHHHH okay so

helia is really bad at technology right? pretty much anything that isn't covered in red fountain lessons, he's a complete no-go at. tecna takes it upon herself to try and help him understand basic technology a bit more and it goes so wrong. helia is literally the mom that squints their eyes and holds their phone away from their face while using One pointer finger to type everything. tecna hates it so much.

helia naturally doesn't understand a single thing that comes out of her mouth when she's talking technology but he still supports her nonetheless

helia is surprisingly rational most of the time! he's a firm Push All My Emotions Down And Then One Day I'll Die kind of person so even during really stressful missions, he's good at keeping a level head about things. tecna really appreciates this and it's not rare to see her, helia, and timmy discussing mission-related strategies During The Middle Of A Fight

tecna has a tendency to talk while she works (only noticeable around people she's comfortable with though) but she gets a little self-conscious about it. she knows it's not Bad or anything, but it doesn't seem Right either so she tries to keep quiet most of the time. helia on the other hand is so used to working while it's noisy that he's totally chill with it. they've gotten used to just vibing in the same room, working on their own things, and not actually talking to each other during it. they're comfortable around each other :) helia doesn't mind when she rambles out loud and tecna doesn't mind him pacing around the room every five minutes. symbiotic relationship.

tecna doesn't like talking about what she went through in the omega dimension, even with timmy. however, she does occasionally draw things out when she really needs to vent and can't think of any other way how. she's always been good at sketching due to her background in designing gadgets so this wasn't a weird transition for her. helia told her about this anonymous place for artists to submit their art with absolutely no names attached and after checking to make sure it was legit and she was completely safe, she started to submit one or two a year. she doesn't like to do it often but it does help to sort of "get it out" without actually talking about it.

while helia is notoriously Bad at video games, he does actually like the more "physical reality" ones (think that virtual reality tecmy scene!) mainly because it feels close enough to real life that he doesn't need to rely on just technology to do it. tecna and helia often have very competitive gaming matches but specifically within those kinds of games otherwise, he's really bad at it and she gets annoyed that he can't remember any of the buttons.

speaking of competitions, helia has an inner bet going on of How Much Can I Pretend To Not Know Jackshit About A Specific Technological Topic Before Tecna Notices. what he doesn't know, is that tecna knows he does this and has her own inner bet of How Long Can I Explain This Specific Topic Before Helia Gets Bored And Moves On. so far, the score is mostly even, with helia only winning because timmy isn't aware of this mental battle and will often jump in to explain things too. helia is very smug about this and tecna can't say anything to timmy otherwise she loses the fight that no one actually set firm rules on.

timmy is just really happy that his two best friends are also friends and sometimes he tries to invite helia and flora on their dates. tecna is okay with this only because she thinks it's funny. florelia were also okay with it but started to not be because they realized that their version of a date and tecmy's version of a date was extremely different. they've started to come up with increasingly ridiculous excuses for why they can't go and so far timmy is the only one that hasn't noticed. poor timmy, he genuinely thinks flora's best friend cactus is sick and needs care 😔

when timmy isn't available, helia will call tecna for any technology related issues he's having. on one hand, she likes that he trusts her and can rely on her, on the other hand, she's told him ten separate times not to leave his computer running all the damn time. (tecna: please turn the computer off when you're not using it. this will immensely help solve all of the problems you've been having. helia: okay so i'm gonna leave it on all the time?). he's not trying to be difficult though. he just forgets everything and assumes it should work regardless (he a little stupit).

roxy gets so much gender envy from both of them and it confuses her all the time. they have no idea what a gender envy is though and they're mostly just wondering how they stop giving it to roxy since it seems like it agitates her??? help please???? researching the matter doesn't help and it ends up becoming a meme on winx stan twt because tecna made a very official and serious post asking about the severity of "gender envy" and needing to know how contagious it is. now whenever either of them posts, earth teens just comment gender envy at them. helia still doesn't know what it means.

they don't watch movies/tv together but they will binge-watch the same shows and then talk about them later on. tecna's formatting is still very formal and functional meanwhile helia bounces off multiple points and forgets to make a conclusion. he stresses her out so much.

helia notices when tecna has stayed up too long for too many nights and will occasionally send her a "please sleep" message when he knows timmy is already asleep and can't do it. she doesn't always listen but sometimes she will, but not before sending the same message back because why the fuck is he up at this hour huh dumbass?????

tecna has a pet bird and helia has multiple cats and they absolutely cannot be in the same room together. her bird is constantly trying to fight his cats and while they're usually well behaved, he's genuinely scared they're gonna try to eat it (tecna: stop calling my bird an "it"; helia: stop putting your bird near my cats 😐)

they actually don't like hanging out when one of them is upset. they both have a hard time talking about their emotions (for different reasons obviously) and they always end up feeling like they have to say something when they're together. they just really prefer hanging when they're both in a good mood or at least calm. whenever one of them gets upset, they stop hanging out together until that person feels better.

connected to the last point, you'd think that would mean they don't know a lot about each other, but they surprisingly do! they're both relatively observant people (tecna gets better every year) and they're actually really good at figuring out why the other is upset and what would help. they just don't talk about it.

although, on a similar note, the one time they did have an emotional talk, it was about timmy. tecna was feeling upset again and worrying over whether or not she's "too logical/not emotional enough" and it was the one time where she actually allowed herself to hang out with him while being upset. they had a genuine heart to heart about things and especially about how she's way too hard on herself. they thought it would be awkward since they actively avoided this kind of thing but it wasn't! it went very naturally and helia even teared up a bit. he's very proud of her and the effort she makes every day and since that talk has been much more vocal about it.

when they went to earth in s4, they both spent way too much time learning about Earth Things; tecna about earth media (canon), and helia about animals since that's what flora was talking about. he started calling tecna "chip" after that because chipmunks reminded him of her. she disagrees with this assessment and he refuses to admit he mixed up chipmunks and squirrels. he still calls her chip to this day, and fortunately, it's grown on her. unfortunately, he calls timmy "chip" too, and now it's a hassle to figure out who he's talking to.

helia is surprisingly interested in zenith technology despite not understanding it all! he enjoys walking through the streets of zenith with tecna while she proudly points things out so he can go "ooo aaa" at everything. sometimes she tries to explain how things work and his mind starts playing elevator music automatically. tecna has gotten really good at knowing when helia is just. brain empty no thoughts because she recognizes the Empty look in his eyes. she enjoys catching it live and trying to figure out why he's just. not thinking (usually it's because he either doesn't understand something or got bored) (this happens often when sky starts talking) (sorry sky)

tecna is one of the winx (besides flora of course) that helia trusts the most. not in an emotional or friend way, but in a physical, we're on a mission way. she has good control of her magic and knows how to use it. she's good at thinking of strategies and applying them properly to the situation. and after the omega dimension, he had a newfound respect for her previously unknown to him survival skills. if he were even in severe danger, she would be the first winx he'd call (depending on the situation, she is occasionally ahead of flora).

helia is really bad at sharing details. he tends to go straight to the conclusion but doesn't share how he got there (adhd king 😌) and tecna is the best person to call in when this happens. her logical questioning makes it seem so easy because she has the patience and knowledge to connect the dots and ask the right questions. when anyone else tries its more like (helia: i'm sitting in a pool of blood; person: uhm do you know where it's coming from?; helia: probably the stab wound; someone: did you get stabbed??; helia: oh yeah definitely.)

[icharchivist]

this is actually bewildering how despite how little my mom and i manage to talk or connect with one another, when our interests end up crossing it end up crossing in the most bonkers way possible.

anyway under cut mention of ob//ey me and huh. Discussion of religions that probably qualify as heresy and probably would upset very religious people. (??? i’m not really sure but just in case.) consider yourself warned i guess?

Anyway this post have another degree off hilarity if you follow me for long enough to know about my mom and similar situations before.

As i mentioned, don’t get along with her, bad emotional bagage yadayadayada, but she is the reason i ended up caring this much about history and how much we overread and discuss on some topics, especially those concerning the Bi//ble and stuff. (disclaimer: she’s je//wish, my father insisted on giving me a ca//tholic education, but my mom always insisted on some readings and stuff, and idk what i am nowadays but neither my mom and i are religious if it makes sense, but we did study the topic in depth.)

but i am a fiction person first, though when a fiction i like is based on some historical stuff i often end up digging there.

Which led to bonkers situation in the past where, say, when i was obsessed  over d//gm was the time my mom kept watching stuff about APOCRYPHS like YEAH SURE. Then dr//agon age, turNS OUT it was when my mom was watching documentaries about templars ALL THE TIME. THEN when i got obsessed with g//bf because of Percival, it was when my mom was OBSESSED about Arthurian documentaries and i would often walk in the living to hear her go through those. And, ofc, religionwise, the fact my mom has a fascination with the Sumerians and the Arcadians, and have been studying and watching about Canaan and its culture for years, which also coincide with the time period i was deep into w///mtsb. Canaan being the place most myth around Lucifer, or as he was called, Helel Ben Shahar, originated from Canaanite religions (esp Ugarit’s), and is also the place that saw the importance of Ba’al ie Beelzebub grow before the hebraic religion took hold of it. Basically the long story short is that a lot of the mythos found in the To//rah is inspired by the myths from those regions that were lost to the time and it’s often why the deity from those regions are now the names of popular demons.  (if you’re into g///bf : ofc Lucifer and Bubs should be a telling, Sahar is Lucio as you know, Canaan was the place Lucifer lived in.)

aND LET ME BE CLEAR this is COMPLETELY accidental, i never talk to her about stuff i like (she doesn’t listen anyway), and when she ends up discussing those with me i’m already in an hyperfixation that match accidentally. idk how we have THIS as a timing OUT OF ANYTHING ELSE.

This is like. My normal life okay. Anyway it’s actually not unusual for us to discuss Canaan’s mythos when we see each other, since well we both made researches about it, let’s go. “Canaan is actually the most common discussion topic i have with my mom that isn’t tainted by personal trauma” top ten bewildering sentence but that’s my life let’s go.

Another important piece of setting, we were eating at a restaurent (my country banned the possibility to go on restaurent without a proof you’re vaccinated so we were safe just so it’s clear)

So, we were at dinner discussing Canaan on my birthday LIKE ONE DOES, and look. I at least AM prepared for my mom to go on tangente about Beelzebub. While it came out of nowhere, i am not surprised my mom started to talk about the inspiration behind Satan in the middle of the dinner.

what i didn’t expect was her suddenly going “and of course here we have Asmodé. Do you know who Asmodé is?”

me, stupid: “this is awfully familiar why do i know who Asmodé is. Well if it’s linked to Canaan his name must have become one of a demon so i must know an Asmo---”

and suddenly i froze. and i started laughing. like a fucking moron.

Meanwhile my mom “well you know Asmodé actually was the king of said country who-”

“Who opposed King Solomon yeah? yeah. yeah i know.”

“Exactly, so you know who is Asmodé.”

and then i bursted into laughing and i had to explain to my mom about the fucking dating app. I had to explain it to my mom. 

“I didn’t recognize Asmodé right away because i’m used to his english name, Asmodeus. And yeah i know him he called me this morning on my fucking app to wish me a happy birthday.”

at least it made my mom laugh as well.

I mentioned to her who were the seven brothers and i love. That when i said “and ofc Belphegor and Beelzebub”

My mom still unaware: “ oh yeah!! the two who are based on Baal! Baal Phégor and Baal-Zebub who are based on the same divinity and why those two demons were associated with the cult of Baal.”

Me still holding a laughter “yeah they’re twins in game.”

My mom: “AS THEY SHOULD BE.”

My mom NEVER listens to me talk about the fiction i like unless it’s connected to something she likes like that (bc then it means she can go “since it’s like that in your fiction DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS-” and tangente back on the legends and stuff)

Anyway so the thing is that we went deeper into this conversation, as one does, so we talked in depth, as usual, about Satan, Beelzebub, Asmodeus, L I K E O N E D O ES. 

And halfway through the mean i suddenly realized that the people on the table next to us, who i noticed were speaking english to start with though they understood french just fine, had been looking at us awkwardly for a long time. The woman especially was looking at me very weirdly.

It took me a few minutes to realize that they probably overheard us talk about demons the entire time and that i totally mentioned to my mom “so i have this dating app where i can date Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub and Belphegor”, a totally fucking normal conversation. That i don’t know if they understood everything we were saying bc we talk so fucking fast to start with, and also the fact i worry bc while it’s ofc you can run into religious french people, english speaking people tend to be more religious and in my experience? know much more demon names than the average french religious person. SO THIS WAS AWKARD.

SO. What the fuck do i even do with this. What the fuck do i even DO WITH ALL OF THIS.

And like i said i’m actually used about us talking about Canaan and i legit wouldn’t have connected the dots if she just talked about Beelzebub, i’m used to him, it’s Satan that destabilized me because my mom brought him up when we were talking about Seth, the Egyptian god (and the irony that Mankind is the “descendant of Seth” by the To//rah, and we were talking about how Seth (Egyptian) was associated to “Baal” and then my mom so proudly went “and then, because of that, Set, known also as Sutek => Satan” and i had to keep a sTRAIGHT FACE as if my first thought wasn’t “yes the guy i want to kiss all the time, continue.”) and then it’s  Asmodeus that made me lose my damn shit, and i’m also realizing the absolute irony that i was listening to the ob//ey me songs while coming to join my mom for dinner to start with. 

I was totally prepared about a conversation about Canaan, that’s my mom’s hyperfixation let’s say. I didn’t expect that it’d come with “sudden realization that just like those others times where our interests crossed, this is happening again over this dating app i play with”

I legit don’t know what to say more i’ve been laughing none stop since i came back home. My normal i guess.

[illegiblewords]

Fic Writer Meme

Swiped this because it looked like fun!

Name

Fandoms

Most popular oneshot

Most popular multichapter

Actual worst part of writing

How you choose your titles

Do you outline

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?

Callouts @ Me

Best writing traits

Spicy Tangential Opinion

Tagging: @nilim, @azwoodbomb, @wouldyouliketoseemymask, @parvus-pica, @peregrineroad, @spiral-seeker, @frostmantle, @autumnslance, @strangefellows, @redbud-tree, @maccaroni-eh, @entropytea, @prettyparadoxes, @ivalane, @kunstpause, @fogfens

Name: Illegible or Illegiblewords lately. I’ve switched it in the past a few times.

Fandoms: I’ve been in Final Fantasy XIV for the past couple of years now. Passively I might be in Pathologic fandom and Dragon Age fandom? Maybe others too on and off. I was in comic fandoms for a long time but honestly that spiraled into a hot mess of epic proportions so I’ve mostly peaced out of there. Still love stories, characters, and buddies from there though.

Most Popular Oneshot: Ironically it’s Ideation for Bladerunner 2049 haha. I did exactly one fic there right after seeing the movie and didn’t go back, but I thought it was very good and I had a specific story I wanted to tell. It’s one of my most popular fics, and given it’s gen too I’m actually kind of happy about that.

Most Popular Multichapter: The Immortal Wound for FFXIV fandom! I had only just started writing for the fandom, and the series leading up to this fic was my first time writing NPC shipping in FFXIV. I was seriously, SERIOUSLY nervous at first! I wrote the first fic, Posturing, as a personal challenge to do an ambiguous protagonist/NPC since I saw other people doing that and wanted to see if I could pull it off. Posted it at around 4 in the morning then deleted within a few minutes out of anxiety lol. A week went by before I read it again, realized I still liked it, and put it back up for good. That being well-received helped encourage me to keep trying, and by The Immortal Wound it was getting solid attention. The experience really meant a lot to me!

Actual Worst Part of Writing: Probably chapter maps within the outlining process for me. It’s needed for how I approach things, but shit is anxiety-inducing and stressful af lol. I basically plan each event out in high detail before actually writing the fic, so when the time comes for me to legit write I’m more or less following a plan I can trust. Making that plan is the tough part.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: Often titles are the last things I figure out before starting the fic itself. I know I like punchy stuff if I can manage. Sometimes it’ll be one word, sometimes it’ll be a quote or song lyric, sometimes it’ll be a saying, sometimes it’ll be a phrase that feels fitting. I go fast and loose usually, and tbh I’ve tried to tell myself not to overthink it too hard. I do try title related works in ways that have some thematic link when I can.

Do You Outline: HahahahahaHAHAHAHAhaha yeah. Straight up my outlines are eldritch terrors for their detail, length, and complexity. I don’t mean that as a brag at all, seriously--I tend to get frozen a bit if I don’t have an outline by and large because it’s hard for me to keep track of what’s in my head and plan accordingly. Just end up with too many moving parts + revision and pacing get wonky otherwise.

Depending on the project I might have sections tied to setting, characters, magic systems, religions, etc. at the top. Fanfic this is less likely but does crop up sometimes.

To give an example of the first bullet of the first chapter of an ongoing fic:

Post-Shinryu, the Warrior of Light lingers in the Royal Menagerie alone at his own insistence to search for the Eye of Nidhogg. In the process he remembers the fight against Zenos and Shinryu. Note he was overcome by an almost feral rage at Zenos’ assumption that he was the target of anything resembling lust. Those attentions (“bite down upon my jugular”) belong to another, but note similarities of two pale-eyed, long-haired blondes. Seeing Shinryu, the Warrior had no idea whether Lahabrea survived within. The fusion was horrifying to see and as he fought he didn’t hold back because besides obvious dangers, he was also ready to mercy kill if needed. Also note Warrior wanted to intervene against Thordan for Lahabrea but wasn’t fast enough, questions a little privately how far he’d have gone against him. It might not have mattered even if he’d managed since he knows Lahabrea was going crazy and unable to listen. Locating and examining the Eye, he recognizes how drained it is. Certainly not enough to threaten him when dealing with post-battle exhaustion. So he reaches inside with his own aether, relentless in pushing aside every foreign element—Nidhogg, Thordan, the corrupted Rhalgr, the places Zenos caged them all under his own will. Zodiark’s tempering is what helps him ultimately find Lahabrea, who is barely alive. Zodiark’s tempering has preserved what it could but has a much more tenuous grip in consequence. When the Warrior finds him Lahabrea isn’t even aware, functionally unconscious. The tempering flares against him defensively and this time the Warrior focuses on it. This is all that has allowed Lahabrea to stay alive. He could force himself closer but there is no vessel. Besides, the process of separating a fragile soul so deficient in aether is too great a risk. So he keeps the Eye.

It’s not the only bullet of comparable size for that chapter. The overall piece has at least 40 total chapters, but probably more.

Ideas I Probably Won’t Get Around To, But Wouldn’t It Be Nice: Tbh probably some of the earlier WIPs I have that aren’t finished already. Not just FFXIV (Dead Language, With Good Intentions) but other fandoms. I could end up circling back in the future one day but who knows.

Callouts @ Me: “NO MORE WIPS HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE OVER 20″, “RELEARN HOW TO DO DRABBLES”, “GET UR PRESENTS DONE”, “REVIEW OTHERS MORE THE STAGE FRIGHT IS RIDICULOUS”.

Best Writing Traits: I try to write any character as the hero of their own story/with the capacity to be someone’s favorite. I do my research and prioritize telling a good story first and foremost. I can change my writing style according to need and am good at capturing the cadence and word choices of different characters.

Spicy Tangential Opinion: If no transaction has been made (esp. monetary), no one owes you shit online. Not reviews, not hits, not praise, not agreement, not content of any sort. It sucks to feel like you’re creating to a void. It sucks to be passionately in love with a rarepair when other ships are drowning in art and stories.

People still don’t owe you.

If you don’t like someone else’s content, create something exploring what you do like... or even why you don’t like that content. Tell a story. Create art. Make photosets and playlists and analyses. If it is not a literal crime (as opposed to portraying fictional crime), don’t discourage other creators no matter how awful you might find their stuff. Lend your own voice to an alternative as convincingly as you can. And if that doesn’t persuade others, you need to keep honing your own skills.

If you want more of something to exist, spread inspiration. Again this can be in storytelling, art, photosets, playlists, analysis, you name it. Give form to your passion. And if others disagree or don’t respond, keep working at it. This is a skill too, and it takes practice.

I’ve found it shows when work is created out of a sense of guilt, fear, or obligation. The quality is much lower and no one latches on to keep building in-turn. And IMO it is essential to build up rather than tearing down.

[gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights]

Rating: G

Summary: Kagami and Nino plan a surprise party for Adrien's seventeenth birthday. With help from their friends, nothing can go wrong this time. Nino's even invited an extra special guest who's sure to make Adrien's night. (Nino & Kagami & Adrien friendship, with a side of Ladrien)

Word Count:  3101 | Chapter 1/3

Notes: written for @marinetteplztakeabreak through the @mlbforblm charity drive!  The donations go directly to Color of Change, an online organization for racial justice centered on the Black Lives Matter movement.  I highly recommend checking them out and reblogging/donating the mlbforblm posts if you’re able!  I have one fic slot left as of 7/23/2020, and many other talented writers and artists are offering incentives as well!  There’s even a giveaway going on; see the mlbforblm blog for more info!

XXX

“Hmm.”  Kagami’s brow furrowed as she stared at Nino’s Operation: Totally Swank Party binder.  The two of them sat on a bench in the park, where she had agreed to meet him after slipping away from her fencing lesson.  “Bribing the bodyguard is a proven technique.  Get me a list of action figures his collection is missing, and I’ll have them by tomorrow.”

“Way ahead of you, dude.”  Nino tore a piece of notebook paper out.  He’d done his research last night after a long phone call with Adrien.  “Glad I can count on you.”

“Of course.”  She neatly folded the paper and slipped it into her jacket pocket.  “I’ll have them shipped to your apartment.  Do you have a plan to dispose of his babysitter?”

Nino sighed and flipped to the page with a doodle of Nathalie with horns at the top.  It was a much more tentative outline than what he’d prepared to deal with the Gorilla.  Hopefully Kagami would be able to help him with that.

“Nathalie’s whole job is to suck out all the fun in my bro’s life.  We’ll never be able to throw this party with her in the picture.”

He’d tried the past three years.  From Hawkmoth transforming him into the Bubbler, to Nathalie locking him in a closet, to Gabe himself nearly arresting him for trespassing, each had been a total bust.  At this point Adrien probably wasn’t expecting Nino to try.

But Adrien was his best bro.  Nino would never give up on throwing him the most poppin’ party ever.  

Plus, this year, he had a secret weapon.  One that even Kagami didn’t know about.

“You seem quite prepared.”  Kagami squinted at the page.  “You’re sure Max can play his part?  The Agrestes use my mother’s security technology.”

“Positive.  He and Markov can hack anything.”  

Max had already wired into the speaker system last time they threw a party for Adrien.  Of course, on Adrien’s birthday, the mansion would be too obvious a target.  That’s why the plan just required getting his bro out of the house altogether.

“I’ll trust you, then.  What exactly is my role?”

Nino grinned, placing a hand on her shoulder.  “You, my good bro, will be sneaking Adrien away from his fake fencing lessons.  Adrien says you’ve done it a thousand times, and his pops still barely knows who you are.  You’ve got like, some kind of invisibility superpower.”

“I simply have practice.  That’s all.”  She took his pen and began making notes in his binder.  “Nathalie will realize we’re gone approximately forty-five minutes after we leave.  The Gorilla has set patrol routes for finding Adrien when he goes missing, which I can map out for you.”

“If he takes the bribes, that shouldn’t be a problem.”

Kagami was already sketching out a map of the city on a clean sheet of paper.  Geez, how did she remember all that?  He doubted he could even draw the path from his apartment to Alya’s.

“I don’t want to take any chances.  We cannot fail Adrien.  Do you have a venue reserved already?”

“Huh?”  Nino scratched under his hat.  Kagami was pretty rad, but it was hard to follow her train of thought sometimes.  “Oh, right! I was thinking the hotel.  Now that Chloé’s not a total jerk—”

“No.  Too obvious.  Nathalie will find us within the hour.”  Kagami frowned and tapped the pen against the back of her hand.  “The ice rink will be our best option.  It’s out of his bodyguard’s patrol zone, and it can accommodate all of Adrien’s friends.  We hid there all the time when we were dating, and no one ever found us.”

“Sure, sure, there’s just one problem.”  He grinned nervously and tapped his fingers together.  “I, uh, don’t know how to skate.”

Kagami tilted her head and.  “Really?  No matter.  His birthday is twenty-one days away.  You have plenty of time to learn.”

Over her shoulder, he watched her write “Teach Nino to ice skate” in her crisp print.

“Uhh… well, I guess that works.”  Hopefully everyone else knew how to skate already, or they could just enjoy the food and cake from the seats surrounding the rink. Nino could technically do that too, but he didn’t want to miss hanging out on the ice with his best bro.

“I’ve seen you parkour with Alya.  You seem like you’ll learn quickly.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”  Nino chuckled.  “Just get ready to watch me starfish out there.”

Her lips pursed thoughtfully.  “If it proves too difficult for you, I can try to find a backup location.  I doubt one exists that will fit everyone you’ve listed, though.”  She flipped back to the guest list, which included all of their classmates from the last few years, Adrien’s whole fencing team, and a few other friends like Luka and XY.  Pretty much everyone Adrien had ever interacted with was on the list.

Except for one special guest, but Nino had left her out on purpose.

“No, no, it’ll be fine!  I’m just joking, dude.”

“Oh.”  Her face pinked a bit.  “How are we going to deliver the invitations without alerting Nathalie or Adrien’s father?

“I’ve started planning that too.”  Nino flipped forward a few pages.  “The most important guests—ones who aren’t gonna snitch on us—will get their invites a week in advance.  The rest will get theirs by text on the day of.  If they can’t come, they can’t come.”  It was the best solution he’d been able to come up with.  He was sure that even if people did have plans, most would drop them for a chance to party with Adrien Agreste.

“Hmm.  It still feels too obvious.  The fencing team in particular may give us up.”  She frowned before scratching a few names off the list.  Well, she was on the team herself; she would know better than anyone who could be trusted.  “You’re right though.  This does seem like the best plan.”

Nino grinned.  One nice thing about Kagami was that when she gave a compliment, he knew it was sincere.  If she agreed with his birthday plan, then it was as close to foolproof as it could be.

“Sweet.  I think that covers everything for now.”

“A very productive planning session.”  Kagami nodded before holding out her fist.

Nino laughed and bumped knuckles with her.  After a year of hanging out with him and his bro, Kagami was finally getting the hang of fist bumps.

“Meet me at the ice rink at eighteen hundred on Saturday.  We’ll begin your lessons then.”

She closed the binder and handed it back to him, then stood and walked away.

“Skating lessons with Kagami, huh…” 

This was either going to be a legit time, or he was going to make a total idiot of himself.

XXX

“Come on, Nino, you’ve got this!”  Alya called encouragement as she and Marinette lapped him again.  He frowned at their backs.  How was it that even Marinette, certified clumsiest girl in Paris, could be a better skater than him?

“Focus, Nino.”  Kagami snapped her fingers.  She stayed near him, slowing her pace even though she could’ve skated rings around him.  “Your girlfriend’s praise will only become reality if you practice proper technique.  Keep your weight centered.”

“Right, right.”  He pushed off from the handrail and tried not to flap his arms.  This time, he made it a solid twenty seconds before he slipped and went skidding across the ice.  His hat slid off in the opposite direction, but Kagami quickly retrieved it.

“Don’t try to go so fast.  Catching up to Marinette and Alya isn’t your goal.”  Kagami’s advice was blunt, but helpful.  Nino didn’t mind her getting to the point.  He knew his skating needed work, and no matter how many times he fell, she didn’t lose patience with him.

It was nice that Alya was so far ahead, honestly.  It meant she didn’t see him look like a total dorkasaurus every time he fell.

I’m doing this for Adrien, he reminded himself each time.  He didn’t need to be a pro skater.  He just needed to be able to stay upright.

“You make it look so easy.”  He frowned as Kagami glided backwards.

“I’ve been skating since I was six.  It makes a relaxing hobby.”

He snorted.  “How is anything about this relaxing?”

“Hmm.  Perhaps you’re thinking too hard.  It makes you hesitate, place your weight incorrectly.  You’re a musician, aren’t you?”

“Huh?  Yeah, you know I’m DJ-ing for the party.” He had no clue why Kagami was asking, though.

“Skating has a rhythm.  Maybe you’ll feel more comfortable timing your strides with music.”

He tapped his chin.  “Y’know… that’s not a half bad idea.”

“Not half bad?  Does that mean only half is good?”

“No, no, the whole idea’s good!  It’s just an expression.”

He slipped his headphones over his ears and picked one of the slowest songs on his playlist.  It was a waltz in ¾ time; hopefully that wouldn’t trip him up.

“Alright, here goes.”

He took a deep breath and pushed off from the wall.

One-two-three, one-two-three.  The music was smooth as the ice under his skates.  Kagami kept pace with him, smiling as he counted the beats under his breath.

Something about it did feel different.  Maybe it was that he stopped overthinking; maybe it was just the magic of music.  Either way, he went the whole six-minute song without falling on his butt.

“Not half bad.”  Kagami smiled.  “...Did I use that right?”

“Heck yeah, dude.”  They fistbumped.

“Way to go Nino!”  Marinette gave him a high five as she and Alya caught up.

“Thanks for teaching my boyfriend, Kagami.  I owe you one.”

“You owe me nothing, Alya.”  Kagami’s cheeks turned red.  “We’re all working together to ensure Adrien’s birthday is perfect.  Teaching Nino is just one step in that plan.”

“Well, I still think it’s really cool of you.  Oh!  And speaking of the party, my mom says she can cater.  I’ve already sworn her to secrecy.”

“Awesome!  What about you, Marinette?” Nino took his headphones off to better hear the conversation, but his legs still knew what to do.  “Are you gonna get Adrien a totally rad birthday cake or what?”

“Yeah, absolutely!”  She nodded.  “I’ll just have to drop it off before the party.”

“You’re still sure you can't come, girl?”  Alya asked her.

“No, sorry.  I promise I would if I could, but I—I’ve already made a commitment.  But I’ll have the cake here on time, I swear!”

“And one of his fifty birthday presents, right?”  She nudged Marinette with her elbow.  Marinette nearly fell, but Nino wasn’t sure if that was from Alya’s bump or her words.

“I—I don’t have those anymore!”  Her shoulders slumped.  “It turns out, planning presents fifty years in advance works a lot better if you can see the future.  They’re all out of style by now.”

Alya laughed at that.  Nino couldn’t help noticing that Kagami had gone silent, though, her gaze locked on the ice in front of them.

“Something wrong, bro?”  He asked her.

She shook her head.  “Adrien’s party won’t be perfect if Marinette isn’t present.  I thought she of all people would understand how much she means to him.”

Marinette gasped.  “I… I’m sorry, Kagami.  Adrien does mean the world to me, and… I promise, I’ll make it up to him.”

Nino was forced to stop as Kagami grabbed the handrail and locked eyes with Marinette.  Some kind of silent conversation seemed to pass between them.  He looked to Alya for help, but she just shrugged.  By now he thought he’d understand the girls, but maybe some things would always be a mystery.

“See that you do.  He deserves that much.”

This wasn’t some kind of love triangle over Adrien again, was it?  Kagami had stayed good friends with all of them after she and Adrien broke up.  Marinette was probably still crazy in love with him, but that was nothing new.

“It’s okay, dudes.  The party’s still going to be perfect.  I’ve got a special surprise planned for our favorite bro.”

He winked at Alya, who grinned back.  She’d been the one to help him pull it off.

“A surprise?”  Marinette clapped her hands together at the same time Kagami raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t factor any surprises into our plans.  Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“It’s not much of a surprise if everyone knows, is it?”  Nino said.  “But you’re right, I should have told you, Kagami.  I just wasn’t sure if it would be awkward for you, knowing who Adrien’s crushing on now and all…”

“It’s not an issue.  Adrien is a wonderful friend.  That is more than enough for me,” Kagami replied.

“Adrien’s... crushing on someone?”  Marinette asked, her eyes wide.  

Oops.  Kagami might have taken it well, but Nino should’ve waited until Marinette was gone.

“What’s the scoop, babe?”  Alya raised her eyebrow, and Nino threw his hands in the air.

“I thought you already knew!  Why do you think we worked so hard to get Ladybug to show up for his party?”

Marinette caught hold of the hand rail before her legs slipped out from under her.

“Adrien has a crush on Ladybug?”

“Oh.  That’s all?”  Kagami asked.  “I’ve known that for months.”

“You have?”  

“Was it supposed to be a secret?  He keeps posters of her in his fencing locker.”

Marinette still looked like she was blue screening.  Alya glared at Nino, and he gave a nervous smile.  What was he supposed to do?  Kagami had a point; the dude wasn’t exactly subtle.  

“Anyway.”  He coughed.  “Our bro likes Ladybug, and she’s coming to his party, so he’s going to have a totally cash money time.”

“Cash money?  You’ve been hanging out with Luka and XY too much, babe.”

Marinette giggled at that.  She got her feet back under her, and they started skating in unison again.  So… she wasn’t that upset?  Whew.

“Oh, speaking of XY, I gotta get him here to help set up the special effects,” Nino said.  “I already got permission from Phillipe.  We’re going all out, courtesy of the actual cash money Kitty Section and XY’s last collab made.”

“How did we end up friends with so many rich people?”  Alya mused under her breath.

“It sounds like the plan is in motion, then,” Kagami said.

“Yeah, it’s going to be perfect!  Adrien will love it.”  Marinette grinned.  “Thank you two for putting all this together.”

“Anything for my best bro.”  Nino shot her finger guns.

“He deserves a party worthy of his friendship,” Kagami added.

And he was going to get one.  This year, of all years, Nino refused to let anything go wrong.

XXX

Three weeks later, on the night of September twenty-first, Nino paced the blue chairs surrounding the perimeter of the ice rink.  His friends wove between the chairs, setting up tables of food and games.  His turntables were already in place at the head of the rink, and XY was hooking them up to the speaker system.

“Nathalie’s schedule?”  Nino asked as he passed Max.

“Hacked and adjusted.”  Max flashed a thumbs up.  

“Great job, dude.”  He clapped him on the shoulder before moving on to Rose and Juleka’s station.

“Presents?”

“Stacked and organized!”  Rose saluted.

“Sweet.  Make sure to leave some extra space, there’ll be more where those came from.”  He continued his path to where Chloé was lounging in a chair and scrolling through her phone.

“Chloé, status report.”

“No trace of Adrikins on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, or YouTube.”  She flipped her ponytail.  “You should check your tone, though.  I’m not some peon you can just order around.”

“Right.”  He rolled his eyes.  Classic Chloé.  At least she was taking her job seriously, though.  “Thanks for all your hard work.”

“You’re welcome.”  She smirked.

Her job was one of the most important.  If the media caught wind of Adrien’s location, the party would have to split before he even got here.  To prevent that, Max had jammed the wifi and cell service so that only his computer, Chloé’s phone, and Nino’s phone had wifi.  If anyone wanted to post about the party on social media, they’d have to wait until after it was over.

Everything was looking perfect.  There wasn’t much else to do but wait for updates from Kagami.

19:00.  Arrived at the court.  No sign of Adrien.

19:04. Adrien has arrived.  Bodyguard bribed and driving away.

19:05. En route to ice rink.  Adrien was suspicious, but believed my excuse of buying him birthday orange juice.

Nino shook his head with a smile.  How did Kagami type all that without Adrien noticing?  At least everything seemed to going smoothly on her end, too.

He started pacing again.  According to Kagami, a casual stroll from the school to the ice rink took twenty minutes.  It was longer than Nino wanted to wait, but the location had to be far enough away to avoid notice.

His phone beeped again.  He unlocked it to see a selfie of Kagami and Adrien smiling wide, though Adrien was practically unrecognizable in the oversized hoodie and bright blue wig Kagami had borrowed from Juleka.

Alya’s chin rested on Nino’s shoulder.  “Aww, look at them.  All grown up and ready to rebel.”

“Psh, Kagami’s been rebelling for ages.  Adrien could still learn a thing or two from her.”

“Oh look, she sent another one!”  Alya clicked his phone.

In this photo, the two of them were pulling funny faces.  Adrien stuck out his tongue, while Kagami puffed out her cheeks and gave him bunny ears.

Nino laughed and put an arm around his girlfriend.  “We did a great job with them, didn’t we?”

“Absolutely.”  She smiled before zooming in on the background.  “Looks like they’re in front of the parking lot.  They’ll be here any time now.”

Sure enough, Kagami texted, 19:25. Two minutes away.

“Right!”  Nino gave her cheek a quick kiss before running to his turntables.  He snatched up the microphone, and his voice blasted through the speakers.  “Alright, dudes!  Adrien’s about to walk through those doors, so everyone hide!”

Their friends dove behind tables and chairs.  All of them except XY, anyway.

“What’s the point, dude?  He’s gonna see all our sick lights.”  XY pointed to the laser lights next to the turntable.

“That’s why we switch them off,” Luka said, pressing the button.  The rink fell into darkness.

“Ohhhh.”

Nino pulled the two of them under the table with him just before the double doors opened.

[pluto-art]

- PINKY AND THE BRAIN - EXPERIMENTS -

Below the cut is a personal project on the much more morbid side. Animal lab experimentation is always something I’ve found equal parts horrible and fascinating. Once in a blue moon, I’ll do research on the subject out of curiosity and/or for storytelling purposes. Even as a kid, I found this of interest, and when watching Pinky and the Brain I was always a bit disappointed that we never saw more of what the characters actually went through in the lab during the day. Granted, there’s a reason as to why this was never shown, as a child audience had to be kept in mind, yet still I pondered about it....

Over the last few days, I’ve been churning out compositions based on internet findings -- old and new experiments that rats and mice are put through, many of them humane, some of them very much not. It was an eye-opening journey for me artistically and otherwise, discovering what I’m comfortable drawing and what I never want to sketch again, as well as learning more about this realm of the scientific world.

WARNING: SOME GRAPHIC CONTENT BELOW THE CUT. If needles, patients dealing with the effects of cancer, and general portrayals of pain bother you, I wouldn’t bother venturing onward. I not only drew out experiments that the characters might have gone through, but also describe all of my findings in detail and provide video footage to go along with it. While I didn’t go full-on vivisection or anything, some of this might still be disturbing, so I’m taking extra precaution.

All of the images below are “color-coded” and graded. The experiments start out fairly tame, then get worse... and worse... and worse. The backgrounds reflect this, going from fairly light to quite dark.

-------------

Experiment #1 - Tail Flick Test

A fairly harmless experiment. The subject is mostly restrained, leaving only their tail exposed. An intense light beam is projected onto the exposed appendage, with the animal flicking their tail when the pain/heat becomes too much. This test is utilized in basic pain research and to measure analgesic effectiveness.

I wanted Brain to wear an expression of deep apathy -- he’s done this a million times and will probably do it a million times more. At this point, he doesn’t even care anymore.

For the background, I simply copied an environment in one of the videos I found.

Video example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzrA1tDTfkQ

Experiment #2 - Rotarod Performance Test

Another experiment that’s generally harmless. One or multiple subjects are placed on elevated rotating rods so as to measure such things as endurance, balance, grip strength, and more.

I imagine Pinky would enjoy this test, as he’s familiar with running on a wheel and actually enjoys more strenuous activities. Brain, on the other hand, would only participate via sheer force. He’d also be more prone to fall after a shorter period of time, getting tired faster than his cage mate.

Video example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v56MtrmWAs0

Experiment #3 - Shot (General)

Nothing special. Just Brain about to get shot.

This is all highly exaggerated, of course. A mouse would simply be held firmly, not strapped down, for a simple injection. Also, I can’t imagine why they’d be shot in the face, although Meg told me that scientists tend to draw blood samples from a mouse’s cheek. Need to look that up. I wasn’t at all going for accuracy here, but rather how it might feel -- how scary it would be.

Experiment #4 - Sciatic Nerve Constriction

An experiment in chronic neuropathic pain, due to the central or peripheral nervous system sustaining damage. Under anesthesia, the animal’s sciatic nerve is exposed via skin incision. The connective tissue between the biceps femoris muscles and the gluteus superficialis is cut. The nerve is then loosely tied with four chrome gut ligatures so to occlude, but not arrest, blood flow. The wound is sutured, the animal is given 24 hours to recover, and then both hindpaws are tested for pain sensitivity. Sounds terrible, but it’s certainly not the worst of the experiments I researched.

I have no idea what’s going on with the coloring in this. Again, going for feel more than accuracy, but the hues are way too calm.

Information link: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22433911

Experiment #5 - Writhing Test

Particularly cruel test in which acetic acid is introduced into the system, inducing severe internal pain. The typical response includes writhing, abdominal retraction, and stretching of the hind limbs. Despite the test being withdrawn in 2004 for unethical reasons, it is still employed by some.

This was my favorite one to draw. Although the lighting and shading are not the greatest, it made for an interesting experiment. I did not intend for the lines to be so bold, but it kind of turned into an almost comic-style illustration. I ended up playing around with it a bit and like the result enough to post it.

I would not watch the video below if you are squeamish. It is difficult to swallow. On another note, you may find the “Empathetic Behavior: Emotional Contagion in Mice” section in the second link of interest. For cage mates in particular, if one or both mice were injected with the same acid, and allowed to observe one another, an injected mouse would writhe more if its partner was also in pain. I can’t help but imagine Brain and Pinky in this type of situation....

Information link #1: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3543562/

Information link #2: https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/biochemistry-genetics-and-molecular-biology/writhing-test

Video example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ib63O4F856w

Experiment #6 - Transgenic K5ras Mouse / Nude Mouse (Combination)

Experiment in which cancer is induced in the system. Nude mice are bred for a number of tests, and are used for this one, as well.

My least favorite to draw, but my favorite to color. One particular experiment I found showed a tumor in every follicle on a mouse’s muzzle. Was trying to go for this look, albeit exacerbated.

Information link #1: https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(98)70203-9?_returnURL=https%3A%2F%2Flinkinghub.elsevier.com%2Fretrieve%2Fpii%2FS0960982298702039%3Fshowall%3Dtrue

Information link #2: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/08/weirdest-lab-mice/

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Bonus:

This is based on a test that I found absolutely hilarious. There’s a certain chemical, called W-18, that’s been on the drug market for... some years. The potency of it is supposedly insanely high, although this has never been proven. It’s basically a research chemical (created at a university in the 80s) with analgesic properties that were shown to be “painkillers or blockers of the painkilling effect of morphine in mice”. Mice, not humans. To quote a specific article:

“... when they first injected some of these chemicals into the animals at a dose similar to aspirin, the mice stood up for about a minute and fell over unconscious. They remained unconscious – for five days. But they weren’t dead. They were still breathing. And when they woke, they seemed fine, other than being really hungry and thirsty.”

They literally keeled over from the supposed potency of it. From what I recall, they don’t even know exactly what it was doing to their system, other than the fact that it knocked them out. I just find it funny that they were completely fine after awakening days later.

Although the pure smell of it wouldn’t cause such a reaction, I liked the idea of it in picture form and so depicted Brain simply taking a whiff before passing out.

Information link: https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidkroll/2016/04/30/w-18-the-high-potency-research-chemical-making-news-what-it-is-and-what-it-isnt/#2c45a5dd4757

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Experiments researched, but not implemented:

- Tail dipped in ice cold water (mentioned here: cold water) - Morris water maze - Porton Down nerve agent test(s) (the worst; not even sure how I’d depict this)

The Porton Down tests sounded so indescribably cruel that I simply couldn’t bear to put Brain or Pinky through either of those, much less draw them out. It was the most horrific of the experiments I found, second only to a story about a French physiologist in the 1700s/1800s who performed, I believe, vivisection on live, six-week-old puppies. There’s a limit and that’s my limit. Even the cancer-based composition above was difficult to create. I legit felt dirty drawing it.

Researching these subjects was incredibly interesting, and I came across a few articles that touched on animal experimentation and the question of whether or not it’s ethical. Should such practices continue? It’s more complicated than a simple “yes” or no” answer. Some tests are fairly harmless, whilst others border on the inhumane, and some are downright cruel. Some people say that, without testing, there would be a lot less medicine on the shelves to assist in relieving and curing our ailments, whilst others argue that 90+% of the time the testing done is unnecessary, the results yielded by the subjects dissimilar to those that would be shown by humans and, henceforth, stating that the inaccuracies are numerous. This particular article offered up what I thought was a pretty genuine and interesting debate on the matter:

Pain in Lab Animals: How Much is Too Much?

In an interview with Dr. Jeffrey Mogil, a neuroscientist, he mentions that:

“You have complete control over everything in mice. Within limits, you can do whatever you want as long as you minimize pain and suffering of the subjects.“

Full interview: https://www.integrativepainscienceinstitute.com/latest_podcast/sex-differences-in-pain-and-pain-inhibition-with-dr-jeffrey-mogil/

While many establishments do follow the Animal Welfare Act, other laboratories still implement unethical practices. Also, the rules for what constitutes as acceptable in regards to tests that can only be performed without painkillers or anesthesia administered is... nebulous.

Thankfully, there is a number of lab testing equipment on the market specifically designed to be more humane and less stress-inducing to its subjects. These restrainers, for example, allow the animal to “walk in” without having to be physically forced backwards into a container:

Restrainers

Here is another example of testing that is relatively pain-free:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4401362/

It’s simple and inexpensive while still allowing scientists to perform tests.

Below is a video showing how a type of rotarod works, one that doesn’t place the rods too high and provides a cushion underneath in case the subjects fall:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T38fDS2i13k

This tail flick analgesia meter comes installed with a cut off timer to avoid damage to the animal:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgaStZt143o

So there are options. How often are such options utilized in the field? I have no idea, although there are laws that should be followed and, from the sound of it, generally are adhered to. Not everyone in this business is cruel. Though you do have your occasional psychopath who performs very morally questionable operations behind closed doors, I believe that this is a great exception to the rule, and that there are a lot of laboratory workers who genuinely want to inflict as little pain as possible upon the animal. Just an opinion. I don’t have tons of evidence, but it seems like most people are sane. Lol.

Most of the experiments I inflicted upon Brain because, I think, Pinky is so pure that I have a hard time imagining him sustaining any kind of extreme pain that would genuinely hurt him. Also, he borders on being freakin’ masochistic, finding pleasure in a lot of painful situations, whereas Brain does not. Brain has been through a lot, mentally and physically. It seemed more... “appropriate” to put him in these situations, as terrible as that sounds.

All of that having been said, I never want to do this kind of exercise again. While a lot of it was interesting, and some of it even fun, parts of it were legitimately painful. The cancer one.... I felt horrible....

[spn-safeandsound]

12. Long Distance

Safe and Sound

Dean Winchester x Original Character

Episode: 1x17; Hell House

Word Count: 7,182

Warning(s): Mature language, canon violence + gore, sisterly antics

Author’s Note: Enjoy! Let me know what you think! Make sure to reblog and like!

Masterlink in Pinned Post!

Julia anxiously watched the printer in Beth and Taylor's study, her lips quirking into a smile as the professional cursive was inked onto the expensive paper that Beth insist she get for her diploma. She had finally graduated from Stanford and, although she didn't get to attend graduation, she was very proud of herself. Her double major in Religion and Linguistics had been received simply because she was too meticulous and stubborn to let her education go waste.

But now that education was over and she couldn't lie and say she wasn't happy about it.  Sixteen years in school was a long time—even though she went two years less than other people she graduated with—and she was glad that part of her life was over. She just wished that her mom and Levi were still here to witness this. Still, she knew they were watching up in Heaven and that was the best she was going to get.

Once the printer spit out her diploma, she carefully set it on Beth's desk so the ink could dry without any smudges. She was just taking a seat in the desk chair where her open laptop was sitting so she could continue working on the case she found for Sam and Dean down in Texas when her cellphone rang.

She wasn't surprised that it was Dean; he had been calling her every couple of hours to check up on her. He wasn't happy that she didn't want to hit the road just yet after Levi's death but he understood and was supportive anyway. He just made sure she knew that he and Sam would check up on her and the rest of the Petersen family. That was sweet and everything and Julia appreciated how supportive the Winchester brothers were being but sometimes there was such a thing as too many calls. She couldn't believe that Dean accused her of talking too much.

Beth and Abby thought it was the cutest thing ever when she'd have to leave the room to talk to Sam and Dean—though it was mostly Dean as she and Sam communicated through a text thread—and not return for a half-hour. Beth and Abby weren't the ones who had to assure a very worried Dean every couple of minutes that they were safe and feeling a little bit better. Usually Julia was the mother-hen but, apparently, in her absence, Dean took up the title.

Julia sighed and flipped her phone open. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Dean."

"Yeah, I know," Julia rolled her eyes, glad that he couldn't see the obvious look on her face. "What's up?"

"Well, Sam just woke up with a spoon in his mouth," Dean chuckled, sounding satisfied with himself. "and I took a picture to send to you."

"Yeah, it's real funny, Dean," Sam grumbled.

Julia shook her head in amusement; Sam and Dean's prank wars were always a hit with Dean, even if Sam didn't enjoy them as much as his older brother.

"Where are you guys?"

"A few hours outside of Richardson," Dean answered her. "Give me the low down on this case you found."

"Okay," Julia pressed the space button on her laptop, waking it up, and clicked on the folder of information she collected. "About two months ago, a group of kids went poking around a local haunted house."

"Haunted by what?" Sam wondered.

"A misogynistic spirit, I guess. Like we need any more of those in the world," she hummed in disapproval; Sam chuckled in agreement. "Anyway, the legend goes that it takes girls and strings them up in the rafters."

"Okay, so what happened with this group of kids?" Dean said, getting her back on track.

"They saw a dead girl hanging in the cellar."

"Anybody ID the corpse?"

"The body was gone by the time the cops got there," Julia clicked on the police report in the file. "The police think that the kids were playing a joke on them."

"Maybe the cops were right," Sam suggested.

"They could be but I've read some of the first-hand accounts from the kids involved," Julia sighed. "They seemed pretty sincere about the whole thing."

Dean sounded skeptical when he spoke next. "And where did you read these accounts, Junior?"

Julia took a beat, glad that he couldn't see the flush rising in her face. "I might have surfed through some local paranormal websites."

"Mmhm," she could hear Dean's disapproval even though he hummed. "and what's it called?"

Julia sighed as she read the website from the file, "Hell hounds lair dot-com," she heard Sam laugh. "Hey, it could be legit!"

"Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit them in the ass, Julia," Dean sighed.

"Hey, you wanted a case, I delivered," Julia defended herself. "If it's nothing, that's fine, but it doesn't hurt to check it out."

"Especially since we let Dad and Luke take off," Sam backed up Julia.

Julia frowned, still bitter about that. She wasn't mad at Dean and Sam by any means. No, she was angry with her dad. He didn't come when Julia was dying or when Levi actually died but he was fine following John Winchester to Chicago just to see the failed trap the girl who killed Levi set up for them.

It wasn't like his daughters were only a half-hour away, mourning the loss of their older brother or anything. It wasn't like his only son was killed.

"Fine," Dean gave in when he heard Julia's silence. He had been the one to tell her that they saw Luke with their dad and it was heartbreaking to see the expression on her face. He hoped he'd never let her down like Luke did. "We'll check it out. How have you been doing, shortcake?"

"I'm fine," Julia twisted her lips. "I got my diploma today."

"Wait, are you serious?" Sam exclaimed. "That's great, J! Congratulations!"

"I'm proud of you, Julia," Dean added sincerely.

"Thanks, guys," Julia's chest swelled with love. She was so glad that Sam and Dean Winchester were in her life.

"Send me a picture."

"I will," she agreed to Sam's request. "Well, I'll let you go—"

"Wait, wait," Dean stopped her from hanging up. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Dean..."

"I mean, you can talk to us."

Julia quirked an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't do chick-flick moments?"

Dean cleared his throat awkwardly. "Yeah, well..." he changed the subject. "How many times have you watched Dirty Dancing since we left?"

Julia hesitated; Dirty Dancing was her go-to movie to watch whenever she was sad. It was her mother's favorite movie and Julia grew up watching it a lot. She absolutely adored Patrick Swayze, the dancing, the music, and the love story that made up the film. It made her happier.

"Jules?"

"I've watched it every night, okay?" she confessed. "Leave me alone, I'm delicate."

"All right, all right," Dean gave in; Julia could tell that he was worried about her and that was sweet but watching that movie was her coping mechanism and it hadn't let her down so far. "We'll talk later, shortcake. Stay safe."

"I will," she promised. "You guys be safe, too. Love you."

"Love ya, too, J," Sam called. "Bye."

"Bye."

Julia closed her phone and set it down on the desk beside her laptop. She pulled up her internet browser and started doing more research for the case, hoping that any information she pulled would help the brothers out.

-

Dean and Sam walked into the record shop, looking around for the guy that the witnesses said sent them to the house where they saw the dead girl. As they passed by the first table full of records, a worker came out from the back with his hands full of more merchandise to put away.

"Gentlemen, can I help you with anything?" he asked them.

"Yeah, are you Craig Thurston?" Sam asked him politely.

"I am," the worker confirmed as he put a record in place.

"Well, we're reporters with the Dallas Morning News," Dean told him. "I'm Dean and this is Sam."

"No way," Craig's face lit up. "I'm a writer, too. I write for my school's lit magazine."

"Ah, good for you, Morrison," Dean chuckled as he began to look through the crate of records in front of him. He completely missed the confused look that Craig gave him but Sam noticed and cleared his throat.

"Um, we're doing an article on local hauntings and rumor has it you might know of one," Sam smiled at Craig, wishing that Julia was here to get the information out of him—she was much better with the guys than he was.

"You mean the Hell House?" Craig asked.

Dean nodded, looking up from the records. "That's the one."

"I didn't think there was anything to the story," Craig said avoidantly.

"Why don't you tell us the story."

"Well, supposedly, back in the thirties, this farmer named Mordechai Murdoch used to live in this house with his six daughters," Craig told them after a moment of hesitation. "It was during the Depression, his crops were failing, and he didn't have enough money to feed his own children. So, I guess that's when he went off the deep end."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "How?"

"Well, he figured it was best if his girls died quick rather than starve to death, so he attacked them," Craig stated. "They screamed, begged for him to stop but he just strung them up, one after the other. And, when he was all finished, he just turned around and hung himself. Now, they say that his spirit is trapped in the house forever, stringing up any other girl that goes inside."

Dean pressed his lips together; the story Craig was telling sounded just like that. A story. His words were something out of a dramatic novel, not a true story. And what parent would just kill their kids instead of trying to do whatever it took to make sure they lived?

"Where'd you hear all of this?" he asked Craig.

"My cousin, Dana, told me. I don't know where she heard it from. You gotta realize, I didn't believe this for a second."

"But now you do," Sam assumed.

"I don't know what the hell to think, man," Craig shrugged. "You guys, I'll tell you exactly what I told the police, okay? That girl was real. This was not a prank. I swear to God, I don't wanna go anywhere near that house ever again."

Dean shared a look with Sam and then nodded at Craig. "Thanks."

A half-hour later, Sam and Dean were walking through mud to get to the so-called Hell House. It was creepy looking, they had to admit, but not anything less creepy than the things they saw everyday during their job. It was just a little run-down house, not much else.

"I can't say I blame the kid," Sam sighed, his eyes searching the grounds around the house.

"Yeah," Dean agreed as they got closer to the house. "so much for curb appeal."

Sam took a look around the perimeter of the house while Dean pulled out the EMF meter. It whirled like it usually did when there was anything unusual around but the way it started up as soon as he pressed it on, made him think that something was off.

He tapped the device, frustrated, as Sam came back over to him.

"You got something?"

"Yeah, the EMF's no good," Dean looked around, the powerlines above the house catching his eye.

"Why?"

Dean nodded at the power lines. "I think that thing's still got a little juice in it. It's screwing with all the readings."

Sam sighed heavily. "Yeah, that'd do it."

"Come on, let's go."

They entered the house, finding that it was unlocked in its abandoned state. They started in the front room and then moved onto the living room where a fireplace lined with various candles was. The walls were covered in spray paint, a bunch of different symbols that didn't really even go together scattered randomly around the room.

Dean whistled sarcastically. "Looks like old man Murdoch was a bit of a tagger in his time."

"And after his time, too," Sam muttered, eyeing a symbol of an encircled cross. "That reverse cross has been used by Satanists for centuries but this sigil of Sulfur didn't show up in San Francisco until the sixties."

Dean gave Sam a long took, wrinkling his nose. "How do you know that?"

"I listen to Julia when she talks about this kind of stuff," Sam said pointedly, knowing that Dean checked out whenever something that required a little brain power was brought up.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Shuddup," he walked across the room, looking at more of the symbols on the walls. He stopped in front of one that looked like an upside-down question mark with two little lines on either side. It looked kind of familiar. "Hey, what about this one? Have you seen this one before?"

Sam studied the symbol and took a picture of it with his phone. "No."

"I have...Somewhere," he couldn't place it, though.

Sam cautiously reached toward the symbol, rubbing it with his fingertips. "It's paint," he studied the slight stain that it left. "Seems pretty fresh, too."

Dean sighed and turned away from the symbol. "I don't know, Sam. You know I hate to agree with authority figures of any kind but the cops may be right about this one."

"Yeah, maybe—"

A loud noise cut off Sam's agreement. The brothers instantly went on alert and followed the noise to a door that led to another room. They stood on either side of it; when Sam nodded, Dean whipped open the door and stepped into the room.

He was immediately attacked by bright beams of lights right in his eyes and two groans of horror. When the flashlights flitted away, he could see that there were two guys in front of them, around his age with camera gear.

The brunette groaned. "Oh, cut. It's just a couple of humans," he told his companion, who shut the camera off. "What are you guys doing here?"

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Dean countered.

"Uh, we belong here," the ginger guy with the camera drawled. "We're professionals."

"Professional what?"

"Paranormal investigators," the ginger reached into his pocket and pulled out a card to give to them. "Here you go, take a look at that, boys."

Dean took the card and read it. He groaned in realization, "Oh, you gotta be kidding me."

"Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spangler? Hellhoundslair.com," Sam read over his shoulder. "You guys run that website?"

Ed, who was the ginger with the camera, nodded. "Yeah."

"Oh, yeah, yeah, we're huge fans," Dean said sarcastically as he passed Ed and Harry to check out more of the kitchen.

"And we know who you guys are, too," Ed said.

Dean and Sam turned to face him sharply. "Oh, yeah?"

"Amateurs," as soon as the words were out of Ed's mouth, Dean pursed his lips and turned away once again. "looking for ghosts and cheap thrills."

"Yep," the other guy, Harry, agreed. "So, if you guys don't mind, we're trying to conduct a serious scientific investigation here."

"Yeah?" Dean noticed a gadget that they must have brought with them on the counter; he picked it up to inspect it. "What do you have so far?"

"Harry, why don't you tell them about EMF?" Ed prompted his friend.

Harry hesitated. "Well..."

"EMF?" Sam played dumb and Dean saw that he was trying not to smile.

"Electromagnetic field," Harry told him as though he was an expert. "Spectral entities can cause energy fluctuations that can be read with an EMF detector," he pulled a EMF reader out of his canvas vest. "Like this bad boy right here."

He turned on the EMF, causing it to whirl angrily. "Woah, woah," he exchanged an excited look with Ed while Dean smirked at Sam. "It's two-point-eight MG."

"Two-point-eight," Ed repeated excitedly. "It's hot in here."

Dean whistled mockingly while Sam tried not to laugh. "Wow."

"Huh," Dean clicked his tongue. "So, have you guys ever really seen a ghost before?"

"Once," Ed looked back to where Dean was standing by the counters. "We were, uh, we were investigation this old house and we saw a vase fall right off the table."

"By itself," Harry added needlessly.

"Well, we didn't actually see it, we heard it," Ed corrected himself but grew serious again. "And something like that...it, uh, it changes you."

"Yeah, I think I get the picture," Dean crossed his arms over his chest and walked over to Sam. "We should go, let them get back to work."

"Yeah, you should."

Dean nodded at his brother and then the door. "Sam."

Sam followed him out of the kitchen and they left the house, not wanting to deal with the kids who wanted to enter the big leagues.

-

Julia kneaded the sugar cookie dough on the counter in front of her, humming along to whatever Disney song that the radio that was playing throughout the kitchen. Lizzie was on her side of the island, cutting out cookies with a heart-shaped cookie cutter while Beth and Abby were on the other side, decorating some of the finished cookies with colorful icing.

Once that song was finished, a familiar one started, making her smile.

"Oh, I love this song!" Abby exclaimed while concentrating on the flower cookie she was creating. "Let's get down to business to defeat the Huns!"

"Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons?" Beth joined in.

Julia sang next. "You're the saddest bunch I ever met but you can bet before we're through..."

"Mister, I'll make a man out of you!" Lizzie finished loudly, making Julia, Beth, and Abby laugh.

They continued singing along to the best song that Mulan produced while making cookies. When Lizzie was finished with the rest of the heart batch, Julia slid the tray into the oven. Once she set the timer, she gave Lizzie the last batch of dough, allowing her to cut out some dinosaurs.

"I'm done with the dinosaurs, Momma!" Lizzie announced once the dough was gone.

"Good job, cutie," Beth smiled. "Why don't you go wash your hands?"

"Okay!" Lizzie climbed off the stool she was standing on and ran out of the kitchen to the nearest bathroom.

"Use soap!" Beth called after her; once she was sure her daughter couldn't overhear her, she turned to Julia. "So..."

Julia pursed her lips, knowing what was coming. Since Dean and Sam left four days before, Beth had been waiting to talk to her about something. She had that look in her eyes where she wanted girl talk and it also occurred every time Dean called her. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together.

Julia sighed and started wiping the excess flour from the counter. "So what?"

Beth smiled coyly and Abby shook her head impatiently. "She wants to know about you and Dean."

"What about me and Dean?"

There was no her and Dean, no matter how much Julia wanted that. She had moments recently when she and Dean spoke—especially when Sam wasn't joining the conversations—where she thought Dean might have the same romantic feelings that she had but she wasn't sure. Dean cared about his family and he considered her and the rest of the Petersen family his family. It wasn't like he was pining after her the same way she was pining after him.

"Oh, stop deflecting, Julia Ruth," Beth scolded her. "There's something going on with you and Dean and I—" Abby cleared her throat and Beth corrected herself, "—we want to know."

Julia scoffed and threw her washcloth into the sink. "There is nothing going on. Trust me."

Beth and Abby exchanged skeptical looks. "But you want there to be, don't you?" Beth guessed; she gasped loudly when she saw Julia scratch her cheek. "Oh, my God, you do!"

"No, I don't!"

"You scratched your cheek, you liar," Abby pointed out with a laugh. Julia scowled at her. "We're sisters, Jules. Sisters talk about this stuff."

"I've never talked to you about my boyfriends before," Julia protested.

"That's because by the time you had an actual boyfriend you were at Stanford," Beth reminded her. "and you did use to talk to me about boys. Remember that guy you liked when you were in high school?"

"Ugh, don't remind me," Julia groaned; Abby and Beth gave her expectant looks. "Fine, I like Dean. Happy?"

"Extremely," Abby smirked. "He sucked you back in, huh? How old were you when your crush on him finally went away?"

Julia blushed. "Fourteen."

Abby snorted in amusement. "Yeah, now I remember."

Julia sent her a glare while Beth slapped her arm. "Abby, stop," she scolded her before turning back to Julia. "Ignore her, Jules. It were cute."

"A fourteen-year-old crushing on a guy who was twenty? Yeah right," Julia scoffed. "And that's the problem, isn't it? He's almost seven years older than me. He doesn't see me as anything but a little sister."

Abby calmed her laughter. "Jules, Dean doesn't look at you like a sister," she told her baby sister. "He looks at me and Beth as sisters. He looks at you like you're sex on legs."

It was Beth's turn to giggle as Julia's cheeks darkened further and she ducked her head.

"And Sam says that he always checks you out," Abby added.

Julia looked up sharply. "He did?" Abby nodded. "Since when do you talk to Sam?"

"Since he grew up to be a hottie with a body."

Julia rolled her eyes so heavily that it hurt. "No one actually says that, Ab."

"Since when were we talking about me?" Abby protested as Beth laughed again. "my point it that Dean wants to fuck you."

"Okay, the five-year-old is going to be back any second so let's not use that language," Beth smothered her laughter as they heard the faucet cut off in the bathroom. "But, seriously, Julia, he likes you."

"What we're going from sex to feelings now?" Julia asked incredulously. "Sex, I get. I'm hot and Dean loves sex but feelings? Are we talking about the same Dean Winchesters, here?"

"I wanna talk about Uncle Dean!" Lizzie chirped as she ran back into the kitchen. She climbed back onto her stool and looked eagerly at her mom and aunts. "Are you talking about the crush he has on Auntie Jules?"

Julia gaped at her while Abby pointed enthusiastically. "See? Lizzie sees it too."

"That's because Beth's poisoning her mind."

"No," Lizzie protested innocently. "I heard Uncle Sammy and Auntie Abby talking about it."

"Well, I'm so glad that my love life is so interesting to you guys," Julia huffed with warm cheeks. She glanced at the oven, wishing the timer for the cookies would go off so they could change the subject.

"Look," Beth sighed. "Dean calls you multiple times a day, every day just to see how you're doing. Do you think he does that to anyone else who isn't Sam?"

"He's checking up on me."

"Don't give us that sh—crap," Abby shook her head, correcting herself before she could cuss in front of Lizzie. "You're scared that you'll put yourself out there and get rejected."

"Because it's Dean!" Julia exclaimed, frustrated. "Dean, who doesn't do relationships. So what if I want to protect myself? That's good."

"It's good to protect yourself," Beth agreed and grabbed Julia's clenched fists. "but you and Dean...you should see each other. You look at him when he's not looking, he looks at you when you're not looking. You move even an inch and he's shifting toward you. The way I see it, is this isn't a passing fancy."

"You're together every day, you fight along side each other, you protect one another," Abby continued. "You trust each other and that's rare in our profession, Jules. Even I can see that you guys have something special."

Julia wrinkled her nose thoughtfully. It was nice hearing her sisters say these things but she couldn't tell Dean about her less than platonic feelings for him. He was too important to her and she didn't want to lose him, even if it meant she had to get over her feelings. Dean didn't do relationships and she had tried the one-night stand thing and it didn't go well for her. Maybe it wasn't meant to be.

As if the universe was disagreeing with her, her phone rang from the counter by the fridge. Lizzie eagerly climbed off her stool again and raced toward the phone, flipping it open.

"Hi, this is Lizzie!" she chirped before gasping excitedly. "Uncle Dean, we were just talking about you!"

"Lizzie!" Julia lunged toward her niece, ignoring her flour-covered hands to grab the phone from her. She pressed it against her ear. "Uh, hey, Dean."

"Hi there, shortcake," Dean's voice was coy. "Heard that you girls were talking about me. Are there gonna be pillow fights next because, if you want, you could—"

"Okay," Julia hurried interrupted him, waving frantically at her sisters as they laughed at the mortified expression on her face. "We were, um, we're making cookies actually, so...yeah."

"And I just so happen to come up in the conversation?" she could practically hear the smirk on his lips.

"Uh, yeah, because," she walked out of the kitchen and into the bathroom next door, shutting the door firmly behind her. "I was telling Lizzie that you liked pie instead of cookies."

Dean perked up. "You guys are making pie?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," Julia agreed even though they hadn't really planned on it. "So, what's going on down there?"

"Eh, we got some more information," Dean sighed, becoming serious again. "Some kid told us that a guy named Mordechai Murdoch killed his six daughters during the Depression but what Sam found didn't quite match up."

Julia frowned. "Well, what did he find?"

"That the guy's name was actually Martin and he had two sons instead of six daughters," Dean informed her. "There's nothing to say he ever killed anyone."

"Huh," Julia wrinkled her nose. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, I talked to the police and there's no missing persons, either," Dean paused for a second. "Jules, we dug like you wanted but we don't think there's anything here."

"Well, that's good, then," Julia said. "No spirit, no dead people, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, on your way back, you can stop in Houston," she suggested. "I, um, I got that NASA tour for Levi, remember?"

"Jules, we can't—"

"Yeah, you can," Julia insisted. "I don't want it to go to waste and you love that kind of stuff, Dean. You and Sam deserve some fun once in a while, you know?"

Dean was quiet for a few seconds. "All right. We'll check it out."

"Good," she smiled. "I'll email Sam the information about the tour and hotel."

"Thanks, shortcake," Dean's voice cheered up a little. "I'll call you later when we head out, okay?"

"Okay, talk later. Bye, Dean."

"Bye."

Julia snapped the phone shut and sighed, pressing it to her chest. She was glad that she got to the phone before Lizzie could spill on what they were really talking about. Dean was already insufferable when he knew they were talking about him but if he knew that they were talking about feelings and sex and all that, his ego wouldn't be able to fit in the Hancock building.

She slipped her flour-covered phone into her apron pocket and quickly washed her hands before heading back to the kitchen.

-

Before Sam and Dean could even leave town, they got a call from the detective Dean spoke with the day before. The sun was still setting when he called, telling them to get to the Hell House as soon as possible. When they arrived on scene, a body bag was being carted to the coroner's van. The detective informed them that a girl had hung herself in the house, which sounded just like the Mordechai story went.

They went back to the Hell House around midnight and dodged the cops when those nerds, Ed and Harry showed up. Mordechai ended up attacking with an ax and was immune to rock salt, which led them to more research.

Dean sat on his bed, drawing that familiar symbol on the notepad that the motel provided. "What the hell is this symbol? It's bugging the hell out of me," he looked up at Sam, who was researching at the table. "This whole fucking job is bugging me. I thought the legend said Mordechai only goes after chicks."

"It does," Sam said distractedly, focusing on his laptop.

"All right, well, that explains why he went after you but why me?"

"Hilarious," Sam looked away from the screen to scowl at him. "The legend also says he hung himself but did you see those slit wrists?"

"Yeah."

"What's up with that?" Sam shook his head. "And the ax, too. I mean, ghosts are usually pretty strict, right? Following the same patterns over and over again?"

Dean nodded. "This dick keeps changing."

"Exactly. I'm telling you, the way the story goes..." Sam typed in Ed and Harry's website and pressed enter, waiting as it loaded. His eyes widened when he saw a new article about the Hell House. "Wait a minute."

Dean looked up from his notepad. "What?"

"Someone added a new post to the Hell Hound site," Sam informed him. "Listen to this: They say Mordechai Murdoch was really a Satanist who chopped up his victims with an ax before slitting his own wrists. Now, he's imprisoned in the house for eternity."

Dean sat up as he stared at the symbol he had drawn, finally recognizing it.

"Where the hell is this going?"

"I don't know but I think I might have just figured out where it all started," Dean rolled off his bed. "Come on, we gotta go to the record store."

They entered the record store not long after, spotting Craig at the cash register.

"Hey, Craig," Dean called to him over the loud rock music playing through the store. "Remember us?"

Craig sighed. "Guys, look, I'm really not in the mood to answer any of your questions, okay?"

"Oh, don't worry," Dean waved him off as he stopped in front of the record crate marked with the second letter of the alphabet. "We're just here to buy an album, that's all."

He quickly flicked through the records in the crate and pressed his lips together when he found the one he was looking for. On the back of a Blue Oyster Cult record, he saw the symbol he had recognized at the Hell House.

He grabbed it and slowly walked over to Craig with Sam on his heels.

"You know, I couldn't figure out what that symbol was and then I realized that it doesn't mean anything," Dean told Sam conversationally, his voice hardening toward the end. "It's the logo for the Blue Oyster Cult. Tell me, Craig, you into BOC or just scaring the hell out of people?"

When Craig turned around to face him and Sam, he handed the Blue Oyster Cult album to him. He took it and flipped it over, eyes flitting over the cover art, which included the symbol that was spray painted at the Hell House.

"Why don't you tell us about that house," Dean suggested. "Without lying through your ass this time."

Craig looked up at Dean for a moment. "All right," he sighed heavily. "My cousin Dana was on a break from TCU. I guess we were just bored and looking for something to do. So, I showered her this abandoned dump I found. We thought it would be funny if we made it look like it was haunted so we painted symbols on the walls, some from albums, some from some of Dana's theology textbooks."

"Then, we found out this guy, Murdoch, used to live there so we made up some story to go along with that," he continued. "They told people, who told other people, and then these two guys put it on their stupid website. Everything just took a life of its own."

Dean blinked at him; something about what he said was familiar.

"I mean, I thought it was funny at first, but..." Craig shook his head sadly. "That girl's dead. It was just a joke, you know? I mean, none of it was real. We just made the whole thing up, I swear!"

Sam nodded. "All right."

As they turned away from Craig to leave the record store, Dean muttered to Sam, "If none of it was real, how the fuck do you explain Mordechai?"

-

Dean was trying so hard not to smirk as he watched Sam wiggle around in his seat, trying not to scratch at his crotch. While his brother was in the shower, he had sprinkled itching powder into Sam's underwear and now he was able to watch the whole thing unfold right in front of him.

If only shortcake was here, too, he sighed mentally.

Sam was in the middle of talking to Julia on the phone, telling her his thoughts about Mordechai being a tulpa when Dean interrupted him, "Dude, what's your problem?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," Sam said avoidantly.

"What's going on?" Julia's voice came from the speaker.

"Nothing," Sam assured her. "So, these tulpas...There was this incident in Tibet in 1915. A group of monks visualized a golem in their head. They meditated on it so hard that they brought the thing to life out of thin air."

"Okay, well, there are thousands of people on the internet," Julia said thoughtfully.

"Exactly," Sam nodded, wincing as he picked at his itchy jeans. "I mean, Craig starts the story about Mordechai and then it spreads and goes online where countless people believe in the bastard."

"Wait a second," Dean spoke up. "People believe in Santa Claus so how come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?"

"Cause you're a bad person," Sam opened his laptop, still squirming, and pulled up a photo of the sigil that brought tulpas to life. He showed it to Dean. "And because of this. That's a Tibetan spirit sigil on the wall of the house. Craig said they were painting symbols from a theology textbook. I bet they painted this, not even knowing what it was."

On the phone, they could hear a thump of a book and then pages being flipped. "Okay, this book says that the sigil has been used to centuries, concentrating meditative thoughts like a magnifying glass. So, people who are on the Hell Hounds website, staring at the symbol and thinking about Mordechai...would that be enough to bring a tulpa to life?"

"It would explain why he keeps changing," Dean answered her.

"Right," Sam adjusted his jeans and added, "as the legend changes, people think different things so the legend itself changes. Like a game of telephone. That would also explain why the rock salt didn't work."

"Yeah, because he's not a traditional spirit," Dean stated, choking back his laughter as Sam started wiggling more than he had. "So, why don't we get this spirit sigil thing-y off the wall and off the website?"

"I don't think it's that simple," Julia sighed as they heard more pages being turned. "Once a tulpa is created, they take on a life of their own."

"Great," Dean grumped. "So, if he really is a thought form how the fuck are we supposed to kill an idea?"

"Well, that's not gonna be easy with these guys helping us," Sam showed him the video Ed and Harry put up on their website. "Since they posted the footage, their number of hits have quadrupled in the last day alone."

"Huh," Dean clicked his tongue thoughtfully. "I've got an idea but we have to find a copy store."

"What are you thinking?" Julia wondered.

"We're gonna give these boys a story and change the legend," Dean told her as Sam forcefully stood up and did a weird walk to relieve himself. "Dude, what the hell?"

"I think I'm allergic to our soap or something."

Dean snickered as Julia spoke up, "What? We use hypoallergenic soap, Sam."

Dean's laughter increased as Sam did a weird lunge in the middle of the motel room. Sam immediately stood up to his full height and glowered at his older brother.

"You did this?!"

Dean couldn't talk, he was laughing so hard.

"You're a fucking jackass!"

Dean continued to laugh, standing up from his chair to dodge the attack coming his way.

As Sam chased Dean around the room, they didn't notice as Julia sighed, "All right, I'm gonna hang up now."

-

After Dean and Sam told Ed and Harry about this new legend that they found—in which Mordechai would be killed with a pistol and wrought-iron bullets—and a little prank Sam pulled on Dean—where he superglued his beer bottle to the palm of his hand—they headed back to the Hell House to kill the tulpa once and for wall.

They entered the house with their firearms drawn and slowly walked their way around, looking for any sign of Mordechai.

Dean winced as he tightened his hand around his gun. "I barely have any skin left on my palm."

Sam snickered. "I'm not touching that line with a ten-foot pole."

Dean pressed his lips together, irritated, and flashed his light straight into Sam's eyes until he flinched. Once he was satisfied that he got some sort of revenge on his little brother, he continued on through the living room and into the kitchen. "So, do you think old Mordechai's home?"

"I don't know," Sam pointed his gun at the door that led to the basement.

"Me either."

Sam and Dean whipped around at the new voice, pointing their pistols in Ed and Harry's faces.

"Woah, woah!" Ed shouted while Harry lifted his hands in the air to show he meant no harm.

Sam raised his gun away from them. "What are you trying to do, get yourselves killed?"

"We're just trying to get a book and movie deal, okay?"

Before either of the irritated brothers could say another word, a crash came from the basement door. They instantly went back on alert, aiming their guns back at the door.

"Oh, shit," Ed muttered from behind them, focusing his camera on the action. "Hey, guys, do you wanna—you wanna open that door for us?"

"Why don't you?" Dean dared him.

None of them even stepped closer to the basement door as Mordechai burst through, growling at them while waving his ax in the air. Dean and Sam immediately took their shots but Mordechai didn't falter. It was only after full rounds that he disappeared but not in the way they wanted him too.

Sam and Dean immediately left the kitchen to check the other rooms on the first floor.

"Wait a minute?" Ed said breathlessly. "He's gone? He's gone."

"Did you get him?" Harry asked him urgently.

"Yeah, they got him."

"No," Harry shook his head. "On camera. Did you get him on camera?"

Ed faltered. "Well, I..."

Harry grabbed the camera from him. "Let me see it, let me see it."

He flipped open the little screen but was pushed to the floor as Mordechai appeared, smashing the camera with his ax. Dean ran back into the room after hearing some loud noises and glared at them.

"Hey, didn't you guys post that bullshit story we gave you?" he barked at them.

"Of course we did," Harry answered, getting to his feet as Sam came back into the room. "But then our server crashed."

Ed nodded in agreement. "Yeah."

"So, it didn't take?" Ed and Harry shook their heads at Dean's question. "These guns don't work?"

"No."

"No."

"Great," Dean sighed and turned to his brother. "Sam, any ideas?"

Sam shrugged; no ideas. None whatsoever.

"We're getting out of here," Harry spoke up.

"Yeah," Ed agreed quickly. "Great idea."

They left the kitchen, only to run into Mordechai again. They screamed and ran for the front door but it was locked and they were unable to get out. They turned to see Mordechai and followed them to the front door and was slowly advancing toward them, raising his ax.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph."

"The power of Christ compels you!" Ed shouted at the tulpa. "The power of Christ compels. THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU."

Any other time, what Ed was saying would make Dean laugh so hard. But, alas, now was not the time for amusement. Sam ran up to the front door and shouted at Mordechai, getting his attention.

"Hey! Come and get it, you ugly son of a bitch!"

While Sam and Mordechai fought and Ed and Harry ran out of harm's way, Dean found some lighter fluid in the kitchen. He quickly sprayed it all over the floor and onto the cupboards before heading into the living room to spray it there, too.

"DEAN!"

Hearing Sam's shout of help, Dean quickly grabbed a bottle of spray paint and pulled his lighter out of his pocket before running toward his brother and Mordechai.

"Hey!" he shouted at the tulpa before lighting his lighter and spraying the paint at the same time, creating a homemade blow torch.

Mordechai let Sam go and disappeared; Dean grabbed Sam and helped him run back into the living room.

"Mordechai can't leave the house and we can't kill him? We improvise."

He showed Sam his lighter and clicked it out before throwing it onto the floor. The old wooden beams lit up immediately and Sam and Dean took off, knocking down the front door and jumping off the porch.

As they ran into the trees, Sam turned to Dean incredulously. "That's your solution?" he pointed at the flaming house. "Burn the whole damn place to the ground?"

"Well, nobody will go in anymore," Dean shrugged. "I mean, look, Mordechai can't haunt a house if there's no house to haunt. It's fast and dirty but it works."

"Well, what if the legend changes again and Mordechai is allowed to leave the house?"

"Well, then, we'll just have to come back."

Sam sighed at Dean's nonchalant answer and turned back to the house. "Kind of makes you wonder," he said. "Of all the things we hunted, how many existed just because people believed in them."

Dean didn't answer but he thought about what Sam said as he continued to watch the house burn. It did kind of make him wonder but he couldn't really consider that. No matter if a supernatural was real just because someone believed in them, they were still killing them and saving people.

It was the family business, after all.

(Gif is not mine)

[theezzywayout]

A LEGIT Way to Gain 1k Followers on Instagram

Nowadays, Social Media has become the primary way to put yourself out there in the world. 

People figure out what type of a person you are by looking at your social media!

So having a good social presence is essential to building yourself (in the eyes of others). 

It would definitely make a difference if you have 100 or 1000 followers

in short, 

It just tells people how popular you are! And in that sense, the number of followers you have gives people an idea of your credibility. 

Whether your a teen who wants to just look good in front of friends, families, or even employers,

OR 

you’re trying to make wealth out of social media, then the one thing you need to remember is gaining your first 1000 followers is the hardest task.

But since I’ve grinded my way to 1200 followers on my @lostwithinnature page, I’ve learned a few things and I’m ready to share with you what you should and shouldn’t do!

( Piece of advice: Follow my account so you can always track what I’m doing to grow on a normal basis :) )

1. Don’t you dare use bots or software!

In short, Instagram isn’t dumb and they’ll figure out your using external help. Within days, you’ll be action blocked and even banned. 

Don’t waste your time, because suppose IG doesn’t figure out you’re scamming the system, the followers you’ll get will be dead accounts that don’t use instagram that much

If you think you’ve found some amazing software that tells you they’ll help you succeed without getting you banned, and you don’t heed my device, 

You’ll figure out the consequences in the long run. You have been warned…

2. Follow for Follow?

Sad truth is that there’s no easy way to get 1000 followers (Trust me, I’ve tried everything), but the fastest way to gain 1000 followers is through follow for follow! No jokes. 

But there's a specific way you should go about this!

Firstly, to get to your 100 followers, you have to follow other people who have just started and are in the same niche as you 

(It’d be much easier if you told your friends and family to follow if it’s a personal account, but most of the time, it’s not, and I know it feels awkward and that you’d prefer to keep your whole Instagram thing a secret…)

Now keep in mind, I suggest to not follow more than 100 people a day and no more than 30 in 2-3 hours, to make sure Instagram doesn’t become sus of you :)

Please make sure to not unfollow people (until you’ve reached at least 500 followers)

Once you’ve gained 100 followers, Congrats! Now, it’s time to do more follow for follow! ...

You have to keep doing this until you reach about 500, but it’s easier to get followers because you seem more credible with 100 followers than you did with 10!

That will take time and expect a lot of up down in followers, it's part of the process, and keep at it! Don’t be lazy! Once you’ve reached 500 followers, now the fun begins!

See you still have to follow for follow but now you’ll be following legitimate people who like your niche! 

What do I mean by legit? 

Well, you clearly can tell the difference between an account that's owned by a business/ bots/ influencers or just genuine people who post random stuff about themselves. 

Why should you follow these specific accounts? 

Well, it’s the real people who actually engage with anything on instagram! Think about it, business accounts, or bot accounts aren’t going to engage because they don’t have the time to, 

But

The normal instagram users will because they’re on Instagram to engage! Not build a following! 

Now don’t expect comments and likes pouring down on your posts after legit people start to follow you, because they aren't desperately waiting for you to post and they don’t even know who you are, 

But 

if the post actually connects to some aspect of their life, then they will engage!

Question!

Why don’t I just follow these “legit” people from the start of my journey? 

Well, imagine you’re on your personal instagram account and suddenly, some random account with 50 or 200 followers follows you, well, you’re not gonna follow them right? 

But Imagine an account with 500+ followers, who has an amazing page (depending on whatever niche, and remember, by 500 followers, you’ll have an amazing page to make you look cool), 

well, 

then you’ll think about following them if their page is about stuff you like and that their posting that specific stuff frequently, and since you think you’ll be entertained by their page, you’ll follow them!

3. Make sure you’re posting some super awesome content! 

From 500 to 1000 will be a fun ride for you, it’ll feel amazing, like you’ve crossed a big barrier! 

But 

Here's the issue, people think they’ve hit a milestone when they reach 500 and start becoming lazy. 

If you want to grow fast, don’t be lazy, and trust me, even though I thought of not being lazy, I still was, so it took me longer to reach 1000 than it should have…

With this, you’ll be at 1000 followers in the fastest way possible!

4. Should I collaborate with other pages to cross promote?

Another way to get followers is by reaching out to accounts similar to your follower size and ask them to do a collab where you post something and link them in the description, it sounds like it should do wonders, 

But it doesn’t, in fact i did it like 5 times but i got maybe 4-5 followers in total from it. So, don’t waste your time…

What about paying money to promote my posts and page?

Well, if you have money, I still don’t think it’s worth it. 

Now, 

suppose you don’t have the time and you need to get followers fast due to some reason, then it would be your only option, but even then, taking the paid path is something I haven’t done and I haven't seen too many people take it either, so try not wasting money

5. How do I know if my content is good?

There is no way of knowing that, but there are some pointers to keep in mind that should keep you away from terrible content!

First off, 

Stick to one niche if not one them. Remember! A jack of all trades is a master of none!

Your posts shouldn’t look weird, In short, if they look like most of the posts in your niche, its in good shape

But why shouldn’t I try something different and be unique?

You could, but right now, my goal is to help you reach 1000 followers fast, so unless that's not a priority, then go for it, 

But

Even when generating unique content, it's better to do such things when you have a bigger following because small timers get looked at as newbies if they try unique things

6. Make sure your captions aren’t too spammy! 

I’m sure you think that by putting in “like, comment, or follow for blah blah blah reasons”, people will follow you, but sadly, people don’t care. They’ll only follow you if the content you post is actually giving them value in some way.

My recommendation for captions is to keep it a random expression or joke that is related to the content in some way. It’s not going to give you better results, but it’ll make you look like an actual person and not some account trying to make you follow them.

After that if you want to do a plugin, I’d advise to go with something like,” Love seeing such content? Follow @”Your Username” to view such content daily” 

And that's more than enough

7. Hashtags? 

They only work if your content is actually good. From my experience with hashtags, unless your content is actually good, they won’t do anything for you, but if it is good, it’ll do wonders!

One more thing! Don’t spam in random hashtags, make sure they are actually relevant. 

And 

don’t use the same hashtags constantly, use a specific hashtag maybe every 3-4 posts or you make instagram think of you as a bot…

8. Geotags?

Nice thing to have, takes you an extra 10 seconds to put in a location, it doesn’t really help in terms of reach, but it makes your content’s overall look more nice to see

9. Stories?

Unless you have the time, which most people don’t, I’d just recommend to share your content in your story and leave it at that, just so can have that colorful circle around your display picture to make you look active

If you have time, have like 10 stories running in a day, and place in a bunch of hashtags in each story, it does work! In my opinion, I don’t think it’s worth it unless you have like 10k + followers, but if you have time, why not :)

10. Algorithm?

In short, IG only has one goal, and that's to keep its users on the platform as long as possible. For that to occur, the users need to be shown content that they will love and engage with. 

How do you know if users will engage with your posts?

You don’t, you have to figure out what posts are liked by the users in your niche by trial and error.

Another important thing is to make use of IG’s newest features much more. For example, right now it's much easier to get a viral post with reels, simply because IG is pushing reels much more.

Keep in mind, that having a lot of likes or comments DOES NOT mean the content will go viral, I’ve been posting all sorts of content to get people to like or comment or share or even all three, but the results are variable. 

But what I have noticed is that if the content is good, it doesn't matter even if it has no likes, comments, or shares, It’ll still go viral pretty easily. 

To determine what content is good, research other pages in your niche and see which of their posts have gone viral

How to do that?

Search for pages in your niche

Click on one (a size of 10k to 50k followers would be preferred)

Scroll down and see what the average likes and comments they get on their posts

Now try to find outliers; the ones with much more than the average likes or comments

 And also the ones with much lower than the average likes and comments

You can repost these to see how they work on your page

BUT these posts will give you an idea of what generally most people like to like, comment and share!

11. Always engage!

Whenever you put out content, make sure you are active 10 minutes before and after. This is to tell Instagram that you’re not a bot.

What do you mean bot?

Well, do you think a normal person would suddenly hop onto instagram, post something and leave right after? No

Try to like posts in your feed like a normal person, comment on some if you feel like it, i’d advise to like around 10 posts, maybe do 1 comment, and then put your content out.

It’s also much likely that the people’s post you liked will hop onto instagram and like yours since you just posted! Karma! But in a good way :) 

I think I’ve gone over most things I could think of, I know most of these things are not what you expected, but it’s true, it definitely isn’t easy to grow, so don’ have that mindset.

It took me about 3-4 months to grow to 1000 followers… it could have been 1-2 months if i didn’t slack off every now and then…

But expect to take it more than a month at least. This is the truth, so don’t believe others when they say you can grow faster. If they show proof, they probably used weird and shady ways to reach 1k followers and it won’t help in the long term…

if you guys have any more questions or suggestions, please comment them down below and I’ll get back to you ASAP, because I’m not the smartest :D, So I may have forgotten to talk about specific things. 

Thankyou for sticking to the end, and hopefully this helps you reach 1000 followers!!!