#i love how pretty graphics made everything it's truly so fun and satisfying i simply... do not have the energy these days

[clericlost]

deciding to be okay with not using icons is so liberating i'm entering x games mode

[hecohansen31]

The Tomboy & The Model:

 Model! Michael Langdon+Tomboyish! Reader

(A/N): Hello lovelies!

I am back with a new Michael’s idea I hope you’ll like! 

I honestly firstly discussed this idea with @sojournmichael so big shoutout to her, and to my group of friends her for making me actually publish and write this fic, since I ended up having a bit or... PROBLEMS with it...

I am actually very out of the fashion industry so, exactly as with the cam-world, if you see some things which aren’t quite right, please let me know and I’ll do my best to actually correct them.

Also I tried to keep the reader being a tomboy a bit behind, so that anybody can try to see themselves in her, without having to stop anybody from feeling a bit like the Reader, so I hope you won’t hate me too much for that-

With this being said... I really hope you’ll like it, and please if you do end up enjoying, leave an heart, reblog he fic (if possible writing something... I am always the most anxious about hearing what you thought of my writing) or shot me an ask or a DM.

If you didn’t like it, please let me know, kindly, what didn’t work so that I could make it work better in the future!

Much love!

Hope you’ll enjoy this!

SUMMARY: You and shy model Michael could be the most different people in the world, but somehow you end up working quite well together.

WORDS: 9 K

WARNINGS: Sub! Michael, Dom! Reader (also brief mention of Dom! Michael and Sub! Reader), Spanking, Oral Sex (Male and Female Receiving), Orgasm Denial, A Bit Of Dirty Talk, Use of the F-word, and Drunken Assault.

She had been always the type to prefer more masculine things: it wasn’t anything strange for her to run with the boys and play with them and slowly she had started taking over some of their mannerism.

It had been always her true nature to be much more masculine “than women were supposed to be”, according to her mother.

Her mother had been extremely disappointed by the fact that she hadn’t wanted to own a more feminine body and although she had made some concessions towards her style, she mostly went by her own way, which meant jeans, mostly large and graphic shirts for the summer and sweaters for the winter.

She enjoyed the gym and wasn’t afraid to assume a more manly role, such as paying for the bill or being the one who did the first move, which got her in so much trouble and rejections that she sometimes thought about giving up that nature just to get a bit of affection.

It hurt her to think about a future alone, although she had friends who loved and a family who supported her, but when everybody was so crazy about love, she couldn’t help but feel annoyed by her lack of.

She was a big romantic, underneath the harsh armor she wore.

And she was also a complainer, according to her roommate Mallory, who had set her up with a boy that Wednesday, insisting it would have been a fun idea.

“You basically set me up with a stranger” she had mumbled, meanwhile her roommate, a professional make-up artist, put eyeshadow on her lids after she had squeezed her in a nice outfit, still jeans but it was paired with a silky black blouse, giving her a vampire aesthetic she dug, enhanced by Mallory expert work with brushes and beauty blenders “I have watched too many “Law and Order SVU” episodes to believe that this will end well”.

“Shut up, and pucker up your lips” had replied Mallory, pushing out a shiny lip-gloss, getting an eyes roll from her, a clear way of asking her if it was truly necessary “… Michael is a nice guy, I wouldn’t set you up with psycho”.

She only had one clue, since according to Mallory “spoiling the identity of his date would ruin the magic of it”, alongside mumbling something about her being a bit too much of a cyber-stalker…

And that clue was that her date’s name was Michael, biblical and decidedly normal, too little for her to check him out on Instagram (although she had tried).

Mallory had gently rolled the lipstick onto her lips, till she was satisfied.

She already had felt uncomfortable due to the sticky sensation between her lips, deciding to clean it as soon as she was alone in the little diner they were supposed to meet for an appetizer.

Mallory had then pushed a mirror in her face, revealing a flushed face, and although the entire ensemble hadn’t made her feel like a clown, it was a bit too much for her.

Still it had looked definitely badass, enough that she knew why her roommate was so requested: she was lovely, without losing anything of herself.

“… also you look amazing” had mumbled shyly Mal, meanwhile she adjusted her hair, gently pushing out of her face “… he will have a dumbstruck expression when he’ll see you”.

She had doubted it, but she had felt confident and definitely not in need of the validation of a man.

And she definitely hadn’t needed her date being late, already annoyed by the entire ordeal, with a perfect plan to occupy better that night: “B99”, the last piece of cheesecake in the fridge and best of all… her bed, warm and comfortable.

She had been thinking this when suddenly she had felt a deep breath in front of her and she had raised her eyes as soon as the spot in front of her had been shadowed and there, in front of her, was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.

An elegant dust of red had been smeared on his lids, meanwhile kohl lined his eyes matching the outfit he had worn an elegant leather jacket on a red graphic shirt with “Gucci” written all over it, tucked in a pair of skinny ripped jeans, giving him a grunge look she fell in love with, meanwhile his face had an angelic trait, a clear contrast with his devilish outfit.

He had been blushing, clearly out of breath, his cheeks blossoming of a pink shade, meanwhile his eyes had tried to meet hers, looking at her as if she was searching something, which had gotten her to assume a confident stance or at least try to.

She had reasoned he couldn’t be a waiter, so he must have just come in, another client like her.

-I am Michael- he had blurted out and it had taken her a few minutes to link it with her date, meanwhile the boy had looked at her expectantly, without knowing what to do and asking for instructions -… Mallory’s friend-.

-Oh…- he was her date.

Her date was very beautiful: an androgynous god, with curly hair she wanted to caress.

-May… I … sit? – he had asked, shyly, ducking his head, meanwhile she had simply nodded trying to square up in her seat, and form a coherent dialogue.

-Of course- what a brilliant answer -… I am (Y/N), Mallory’s other friend- she had mumbled, cursing at the absurdity of her words, since he probably already knew, and she was being a fool, because his beauty had taken away any ability of hers to talk.

-I figured out- his laugh had been nice and warm, and he had offered her an hand after he had settled down; she was honestly grateful he hadn’t tried to come closer and kiss her, even just on the cheek, she was grateful he had half a knowledge of personal space -… I am also sorry for being late, I swear I don’t do it often… I had a photoshoot which took much more than I thought…-.

A photoshoot?

Was he a model?

He certainly had the look for it, being an ethereal creature with a big range, being able to assume a such a strong range, ruling both genders and all the ones between those.

-… you are a model? – she hadn’t meant to sound skeptical or anything, but she also hadn’t wanted to assume and just sound dumb…

-Yeah- his cheeks had become again flushed and she couldn’t help but want to pinch them gently but she had tightened the grip of her hands on her knees -… I know it’s strange, I still can’t believe it happened… one day you are in your grandma’s house and the following… you are shooting a photoshoot for Gucci-.

Hadn’t she been attracted before, she was now.

He clearly had seemed taken by the entire argument and she couldn’t help but love the shining passion in his eyes, his interest peaking when he mentioned the “Gucci” house, before hiding his face.

-… I am sorry I swear I am not trying to seem arrogant…- he had bitten his bottom lip, ashamed.

-Oh, don’t worry! – she had reached out her hand, pushing it over his shoulder, more to comfort him than actually to try anything, which had gotten her a grateful smile from him -…I actually know nothing about this world, but I also am very curious, so please talk all you want-.

He had become so red that she was sure he would have probably busted a coronary or something, but after a deep breath he had simply smiled and went back to talking about his life as a model and he also explained how he had met Mallory, working on a set for one of his photoshoot, since it wasn’t unusual for him to wear make-up (she had complimented the red eyelids, immediately getting a gentle smile).

“She is one of the best I have ever had: we need more sunshine-made people, on set!” he had giggled, meanwhile she had agreed that Mallory was everything good made as a person “… she said that she had a very cute roommate, meanwhile we were talking and she … said… “.

“I am sad that you in the end got a very annoying roommate” she had replied, meanwhile giggling a bit, just to be greeted with a slow gulp from the other boy who had then mumbled:

“I think that I actually got very lucky, instead, you are lovely” this had made her blush and the sudden silence had been interrupted by the waiter who asked their orders, letting them discuss on what they had chosen, Michael complimenting her drink choice, meanwhile she asked him if what had ordered wouldn’t make him gain weight, getting a wicked smile from Michael, who after a few minutes had started getting more at ease, even asking question on his own.

In the end, the night was nice and she actually had felt very enchanted by the shy model, who had suggested on her not getting an uber but getting a lift from him, so that he could apologize for his lateness; he had also tried to pay for the entire appetizer, getting instead a strict refusal.

“If you want a second date, you better understand that I am a pretty independent lady”.

She might have been wrong, but his eyes had shone interested at her own feistiness.

She had been bewildered at the elegant and sleek sportive car, immediately looking at it for a few good minutes, meanwhile Michael had explained he had paid it with the first money he had had, wanting something that could make him run away from everywhere.

“.. it’s presumptuous”.

“I think she is the prettiest” she  had giggled, entering it with extreme attention, not wanting to damage the pretty thing in the slightest “… you know the night is definitely going amazingly”.

“I thought that when I saw you in the table” again a simple mumble getting her to smile and her cheeks were rushed with blood “… I mean… I was honestly expecting some creepy girl”.

“… same” she had replied, meanwhile she had laughed shyly, the car revving itself up underneath her and she almost had had to restrain a scream of excitement meanwhile they rushed to her home, a soft choice of classical music, mixed with jazz coming from the radio.

“You can change it” Michael had mumbled, eyes on the road, but she could sense the self-conscious note in his voice “… all my friends say that I have the musical tastes of an old man”.

“I don’t mind it” she had sung along, humming softly at the tone, soon Michael was with her and when a few more popular songs came on the radio they belted out, the complicity that had started that night clearly shining and although it was just an appetizer, she was extremely taken by Michael.

She just hoped he felt the same, although they had joked, Michael’s shyness made it difficult for her to understand him and although she had wanted to try to be more proposing, she also hadn’t wanted to disturb the quiet of the poor boy, whereas he had confessed how awful some people made him feel.

“It is all so crazy: people somtimes say that they admire me, and then get into fights “for me”, they insult others because of that... and I mean... it is stupid and terrible to have this kind of power”

So, she had opted for a more posed approach, waiting for him to act, but they had arrived all too soon in front of her house, and she had to invent something to conclude the night happily.

-I had fun, tonight- he had mumbled, looking in front of him, his tell-tale blush reappearing -… I mean… I usually do not got out to these kind of things… it’s been so so long since I have had a date, so… I can understand if this sucked-.

She had been honestly surprised for his love failures: such a pretty face with that enchanting manners shouldn’t be left all alone.

-… it didn’t suck- she had leaned in, again caressing softly his shoulder, again to comfort him and suddenly he came extremely closer to her, enough for a kiss.

But she, instead, had panicked: it was the first time it happened with a boy, she usually was so confident and…

… and she had grabbed his cheeks, indeed the softest she had ever felt.

But she was also extremely aware of how silly the entire thing must have seemed.

Perfect.

She had met a nice guy… and she blew her chances.

Michael just looked at her in the face, definitely confused but then a shy smile had taken over and he had mumbled something about having had indeed fun and then had gone to open the door, as a gentleman, wishing her goodnight.

“Goodnight” she had mumbled back, fidgeting with the cars, then adding “… it was a very nice night”.

“Definitely funny” he had smirked, and waited for her to be inside of her house (she knew he had, because when she had turned around she had found him propped onto the side of the car, waiting for her, clearly wanting to seem disinterested, but he was blushing, a lot…) before running away with his sportive car.

She had been sure it was the last time she would have ever seen him.

He hadn’t tried anything and certainly he hadn’t kissed “goodnight”, which wasn’t a bad thing.

She didn’t mind boys who took their time and didn’t shove their tongues down her throat, but she had halfway hoped that with a cutie like Michael, the spark would fly and although she had known that his shyness would be a bit in the way…

… still she had no sign of his interest, except the “I had fun, tonight”.

Had he “had fun” with her just as a friend? Or as a date?

Both?

Neither?

That’s what she had asked herself the entire day: she had never been this level of head over heels for anyone, but shy, model Michael who was way out of her league…

She thought that fashion was a beautiful industry but not hers: fashionable dresses looked good, on everyone except her.

And the bad thoughts keep on annoying her, mostly because usually she handled well rejection: she moved on quickly, thinking that it was simply not the guy for her.

But this time, it made her feel bad, about herself and her feelings.

Mallory had noticed her struggle that night, when she had come back and immediately had asked info on her date, just to receive her extremely gloomy roommate, who thought that Michael had disliked her in everything:

“We had a nice night… I mean… I did, but I am not sure about Michael… he was…- “she had bitten her tongue, meanwhile she had thrown her head back “… he seemed a bit off… and definitely not interes…”.

But before she could have finished her thought, Mallory had sent her a look which said “please don’t speak bullshit with me”.

-… I literally had Michael fanboying all over me, about how wonderful it was to have a date with you- she had mumbled, and (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel her heart burst of pure satisfaction.

-Tell me more- she had mumbled, even adding the entire sing-song voice as if she was in “Grease” and Mallory had looked conflicted.

-… I am not sure I am allowed to say more… Michael is my friend…- she had mumbled, just to get (Y/N)’ puppy eyes and after an exasperated sigh -… he says that you were very nice to talk to, he is an introvert so he needs people who don’t feel life-sucking and he said that you were also very respectful, and that he tried to lean in for a kiss but you went to pitch his cheeks, so… he was sure you were the one who didn’t like him…-.

Oh shit…

Shitshitshitshit…

That poor self-conscious boy.

She must have scared him.

Mallory had been a step from spilling more tea, when her phone had buzzled and she had gone to retrieve it from its charging point just to realize it was an unknown number and she was halfway from not answering, sure that it was a call center, but then Mallory had just shouted quickly:

“Answer it! It might be Michael! I gave him your number” which had made her be extremely nervous, sending her an incredulous look: Mallory had taken this matchmaker role too far.

-Hello? – her voice wavering, not giving out too much, since she had been honestly scared of what might happen next… and worst of all that it might have indeed up to be a call-center.

-(Y/N)? – Michael’s voice was low and sweet, clearly shyness again shining in it, but she had known it all too well, although it was a bit distorted -… I am very sorry to bother you-.

-Oh, don’t worry, Michael… you are not disturbing me, in the slightest- she had adopted the immediate charm of her best flirting -… I am actually glad that you called me-.

-… oh…- she had then known that Michael was straight up blushing behind the phone -… well, I am glad that you answered me, and I hope you won’t think this is creepy, I asked your number to Mal-.

The entire phrase had been a continued babble, too fast that she had found it a bit difficult to follow him but it was extremely endearing.

-I don’t mind it, in the slightest- she had smiled, confidently -… I am actually happy she did, so that we can talk a bit more, I enjoyed our conversation, yesterday-

Michael had choked on the other line and after a few minutes of silence, she had felt him try to breath out a deep breath, before blurting out:

-…what about talking more, on a second date? -.

The second date had been lovely and they had been able to know each other in a more intimate way: she had talked about her body-issues, and how she had slowly moved upon the more tomboyish side, baring a part of her soul she hadn’t expected him to get and to even compliment.

“I am an androgynous model” he had mumbled, meanwhile they discussed over it at dinner, this time in an elegant restaurant he had suggested “… so I know that the entire thing about gender roles is stupid”.

He had also told her about his life, before modelling, stretching out on how comfortable he felt with her…

“… these are extremely delicate things…” he had mumbled, as a way of requiring her discretion “… my parents had trouble because of me, I was a very unwanted pregnancy and they both… died, when I was a child, so I was passed onto my grandmother: she wasn’t an amazing person, but it was due to her that I first got into modelling”.

She had shot the photo, which had made him famous, more out of pride, a prize to show to her friends, the one she met at the hair-dresser and the one with whom he she played bridge: she had posted it even on Facebook, with Michael’s help and the following day… a model agency was at his door.

“It was all too sudden” he had commented, meanwhile he had munched onto their appetizer, clearly not as refined in his aspect as with his manners “… but it was worth it; I am away from that horrible place and I have a bright future, for me”.

“That seems honestly lovely, I am glad that you had this all” and she still hadn’t understood why he would even think about going out with her, whereas everything around him was so bright, so charming and fascinating.

And she was just a simple piece.

Not the best one, not the worst one.

He had then proceeded with modelling funny stories, meanwhile she narrated her own ones, laughter  had been leaving her mouth constantly the same from his, although blush never left his cheek, but his confidence had been slowly appearing and this time when he had leant in, after he had accompanied her back, she had kissed him.

Softly and shyly, clearly not wanting to hurt him or scare him away, but he had surprised her being bold enough to ask for a second kiss, and a third one and then she had felt his phone vibrating in his jacket (they had been so close during the kiss) and he had ignored it, a first time, just to lean in for his fourth kiss, his nose bruising against hers.

But at the second vibration, he had had to answer, with a grimace and she hid a little silly smile.

“Give me just a few minutes, please” he had asked, pleading with puppy eyes, and she let him, moving towards her house, blowing him a silly kiss.

They hadn’t met for another two weeks, since Michael’s phone call had been from his agent, John Henry Moore, an ex-model, who had programmed for him a little trip in Asia for a special photoshoot, and then, a little  stay there for a modelling workshop with models from all over the world.

“You literally have no idea how boring it is in there” he always told her, when she was allowed to call her, time-zones always coming in the way “They are all so self-absorbed”.

It was a big joke, because he then told her all about how he had managed to make friends with each of the other models, although some were indeed presumptuous, “something was definitely stuck up there” he laughed, meanwhile she told him, about her “non-model routine”.

“I woke up, went to my job, passed a bit at the gym, did a bit of grocery shopping…” and he listened to her as if she was narrating him some epic adventure, whereas her life was completely the most annoying  “… you seriously never get annoyed by my silly stories?”.

“Maybe I like the sound of your voice, a bit too much” he joked, and it was in that time that his voice and words made her center turn into molten liquid.

But Michael was not only shy, but sexual suggestions or innuendos were ineffective on him.

She could have probably laid naked in front of him and he would have been like “how was your day, lovely? Have you forgotten your clothes?”.

And part of her liked him all the same, and another part… wanted to push him down her bed, half of the time they spent together, because of that innocence.

A month had been enough to declare them “boyfriend and girlfriend”, which had gotten a delighted squeal from Mallory, one of the few who knew about their relationship, since they preferred keeping it private for another bit of time.

And for her it was enough: her sweet and handsome boyfriend who had a real talent for seeing beauty in each thing, even a tomboy like her.

A week, after two months together, he had suggested she joined him as his plus one at a party for the release of a collection of one of his stylist friends:

“I thought it would have been a fun idea for a different night out” he had mumbled, meanwhile he had blushed, probably because she had sat down on his lap, meanwhile they were in his luxurious loft, which he shared with other models, but they went out for the night so it was just the two of them “…if you don’t feel comfortable or anything…”.

“I think that I would enjoy it very much, Michael” she had giggled, staring to lay joking kisses all over his face “… I am just a bit confused on what to wear, I don’t know if I have anything proper for it”.

“What about the pantsuit you wore, when we went out, the last time” she couldn’t help but remember Michael’s face at the elegant pantsuit she had worn at their date in an expensive restaurant, an impulse buy, which had proven worth of its price (which was a lot) after she had seen Michael’s surprised face.

Her shy boyfriend had looked at her as if she was a freaking night goddess.

“I don’t think that it would follow the theme of the night” she had reminded him, hugging him closer, and leaving a few kisses in his exposed collarbone, meanwhile her nose followed the scent of the cologne he used, something which drove her crazy “Isn’t it “rock and fashion” themed?”.

“I am pretty sure that nobody would mind, after they see you in that outfit” he had blushed, hiding softly his face in her hair, meanwhile she had giggled at his silliness, diving in for a kiss on the crown of his hair.

“You are too cute, Michael” she had complimented him, meanwhile he had taken a step back to look at her in the eyes.

“… and you are a goddess, (Y/N)”.

This time it was her who had hidden in his neck, meanwhile he had smirked happily, as if his goal in life was to breakdown her tough exterior.

In the end she had managed to find something which was “fashionably rock and roll”, putting herself in a tight mini-skirt of jeans with fishnets and a leather jacket, which basically showed the least effort into it, not that she actually cared of matching the theme or seeming like the queen of the night, but she didn’t want to shame Michael, who clearly belonged into the world.

She had also allowed Mallory to paint her face, choosing a tough smokey eye with a crazy eyeliner and a dark lipstick, and she thanked God that it was matte, because she didn’t know how to applique it again without making a mess.

It was a bit excessive and Mallory had smudged it to match the grunge aesthetic of her outfit.

She had sent Michael a picture, after the make-up was realized getting back a ton of emojis (mostly fire and hearts), since when words fail, emojis worked perfectly for the model, so she felt a bit confident of her ensemble, although she felt like she was going to a masquerade party instead of a stylist lavish party.

And she couldn’t help but feel even worse, when she saw Michael’s full outfit: he had worn a pant version of what she had, with ripped jeans, showing fishnets under it, a strange cut shit, clearly made so it would seem ripped, but what was even more attractive was the corset over the shirt, which was extremely revolutionary but also it low key gave her a shit ton of ideas…

His make-up was spectacular, red highlighted the tiny speckles of green in his azure eyes, meanwhile the expert contouring highlighted the strong bone structure of his face, his cheekbones basically standing out on their own, with an elegant trace of blush, mixed with expert contouring.

Dark lips were smeared like hers and she low key sent her thanks to God, knowing that if they did make-out they wouldn’t have ruined the effect of the lipstick.

It was definitely the work of an expert, but she guessed that he had done it himself, since he had admitted, expecting her to hate him, that he liked the creative expression of make-up, the way it could change a face and highlight gracefully or destroy flaws, empowering a human.

“It’s a body-art, I honestly love it with all my heart, although it isn’t masculine or…”.

“If you think that I care about anything like that, you probably got me wrong” she had replied, caressing his curly hair “… you could dress up as a clown, and I would still want to kiss you”.

But that time, Michael had honestly outdone himself and she couldn’t help but admire him, beneath the lights of the entrance of the rented place they had chosen for the party.

“Do I have something on my face” he had mumbled, meanwhile she just awed at his face and as he had gone to grab her hand.

“Yeah… it’s a thing called beauty” she had replied, getting a quick laugh from the boy, who had just smirked, leaning in for a kiss.

“I really dig this Billy Hargroove’s girlfriend dress, babe” he had complimented her, with the sarcastic side she had discovered he did own  “… but seriously, I think that I will have to keep you by my side for the entire event, or some model or stylist might steal you away from me”.

She had just blushed, mumbling about being only his, before they had strutted in, her less confidently of Michael, who, if he was even slightly nervous didn’t show it, at ease amongst elegant people in the chicest clothes she had ever seen, the kind you saved on your Pinterest boards.

She had met a lot of people, quickly forgetting a ton of names, but everyone seemed nice enough and they had kept offering her champagne, complimenting her for landing a beauty such as Michael, although she honestly felt like it wasn’t beauty the only thing that brought Michael out and made him special, but she had tried not to fight with Michael’s “friends”.

The stylist Ryan had been actually very nice, and she had been thankful for Michael’s fashion history lessons, so that she could navigate comfortably the conversation, but also Ryan, unlike the others, was actually also interested in her and asked a bit about her.

At a certain time, Michael had left her to give a cheer, something for which he had needed a few kisses of reassurance for, but he had done just fine as she had observed him raising her glass with complicity in her eyes, when he had finished his discourse.

And apparently her smile had done something for him.

He immediately had cornered her in a shadowy place, the boldest move she had firstly seen him do, not that the others had bothered, since they had been all busy taking in the next talker on the stage.

“We should get out, now that I have done my thing” he had suggested, clearly he had also reached its maximum of social energy.

“… what do you suggest, my knight in a shining armor?” she had asked, her hand in his, meanwhile they had moved out of the elegant house, inventing excuses as they met the people that they had talked with at the start of the night.

“There is a little diner not too away from here, it’s cute and it has a wonderful 50s aesthetic that I know you would dig” he had said, and you couldn’t help but feel moved by his sudden confidence: was it the confident outfit or the expressive make-up who brought this side of him out?

She hadn’t been complaining and she had let herself be led, in the diner, which was supposed to be only a few block away, so they hadn’t taken Michael’s car, and this had given them a good excuse to make out clumsily, dizzy on the champagne in the first alley they fhad ound, feeling like horny teenagers, but she hadn’t minded it so much when Michael had kissed her neck like rose petals, his curly hair tickling her face, meanwhile she giggled a bit too loudly.

Right when hands had slipped under the clothes, she had heard coughs and two guys, a bit drunk by the way they held onto each other, and she immediately straightened up, exactly like Michael, who blushed lightly.

She and Michael had moved to get away from the embarrassing situation but the two drunkards had started laughing and used the q-world.

Michael had seemed greatly unaffected, but he had just tried to pass of, but she couldn’t ignore it and had shot those two an hateful glare, but this was ineffective, since the two men just whistled at her but worst of all they said:

“What is a pretty girl like you doing with such a faggot?”.

But it didn’t stop there.

“Maybe she is the one with the dick, you know there are these disgusting people…”.

Michael couldn’t stop her, although he had tried to grab her arm, to stop her and get her to run away as fast as possible from those two, he had deemed dangerous.

“You just insulted my boyfriend, pricks” she had never been one to speak up about anything, but she had always had her own strong opinion, and this constant feeling of having to defend those she loved, like Michael “… I suggest you to say sorry”.

She had tried to keep her tone calm, but it didn’t work so well, since her fists had been shaking on her side, and Michael had tried to call her, saying it was no big deal.

But she had known it was a big deal: it was why Michael cowered in fear when he had to admit his passion for make-up, the fact that he was a model and he struggled to see that she loved him for who he was.

“What if we don’t want to, little freak?”.

Well, she had always known one way to make men listen.

And she had kneeled the nearest bastard straight in the groin, and as one went out, the other went down with him.

“Leave us alone, assholes” and she had turned around, cleaning her hand over her fishnets, meanwhile Michael had had this heated glance on his face, as if she had just stripped naked in front of him.

“I think that the diner might not be the best place after this” his pupils had been full-blown, he clearly had seen something he liked and she had dared just a light glance to his skin-tight jeans, just to discover, there was indeed a bulge in them.

“Mallory is over at her girlfriend’s house” she had suggested and soon they were again in Michael’s car, his hand gently skimming over her thighs.

Sexuality was something that she hadn’t very much explored with Michael, both due to his shyness and both to the fact that they were both taking it slow, but to say she wasn’t suddenly aroused was a lie.

She felt powerful for the effect she had had on Michael when she had fought those two pricks.

The rush onto the stairs almost made her trip onto herself and Michael, a few good laughs coming from their mouths, quickly shushed by their kisses and as soon as they were behind closed doors…

… she finally got her hands on the corset which had been teasing her all night, the idea of it staying during sex made her smirk, meanwhile Michael helped her out of the loose blouse she wore, immediately eyeing her simple bralette: she hadn’t meant to dress sexy, although it was almost part of the aesthetic so…but at least her panties and bra matched.

Michael looked at her, reverently and shyly, as if he was waiting for her to decide what to do, next… as if he was completely in her hands, a sensation which got to her head and to her thighs.

“That corset…” she mumbled, through kisses, Michael did know what he was doing, “… it made me feel things for the entire night”.

“… and that stunt, with those guys…” his eyes were honestly so dark that she almost thought he had contacts on, and he was so hard against her thigh “… I honestly was so scared, but you were so brave, you always are”.

She blushed, the mood dissipating a bit of sexiness in exchange for a softness, shining in her eyes as she guided him gently towards their sofa, straddling his lap.

“I am not, I was scared shitless, and it was definitely the champagne…” she joked, caressing gently his hair, pulling them back, away from his sweaty forehead, before laying a soft kiss on it “… you are the cool one, looking fearless on the catwalk, I would just fall on my face and make fun of myself”.

“You wouldn’t” he still laughed at the image “… but even if you did, you would just get up, as fierce as when you kicked that man in the crotch. Also remind me never to make you angry”.

“Right now I am awfully horny so…” she mumbled, meanwhile grinding against his thigh particularly roughly “… you better do something about it”.

“Not on the couch” he giggled, gently raising her “Mallory wouldn’t be happy”.

She continued with the kissing, the mood settling on a more romantic night, with him releasing her on the bed softly, not missing her little smiles.

And that was when the entire mood of the night shifted.

“You looked like a goddess, with those two assholes” Michael’s voice was breathy and before she knew it he was rutting into her, the hotness of the entire situation letting a silken breath be let out from her lips “… you were definitely the hottest woman I have ever seen”.

She didn’t know where it came from, but she couldn’t help but love that submissive tone in Michael’s hazy eyes, pleading her to do something, anything, and she did it, reversing their position and throwing herself on top of him, clearly in power right now.

This was power: the reverent look in Michael’s eyes, as if she was just sitting on his hipbone as if she was on a throne, her throne.

She tentatively grinded against him, slowly almost a caress against his clothed cock, meanwhile his face scrunched, eyes rolling back and she lowered herself to lick his neck, from his collarbones to the soft skin under his ear.

Moans erupted from Michael’s mouth and she giggled, at the tone, immediately going back to her previous position, smiling wickedly at the effect she had on him, before leaning down to kiss his lips, and whisper:

“Is this ok?” for her to take control on him for that night, drunk on the sheer power of relented dominance, but before she did more she wanted to check with him.

Sex and sexual preferences hadn’t been that discussed between them, so she wasn’t sure if this was something that Michael might even slightly be into, and she didn’t want him to regret this or to be even slightly uncomfortable with her.

“I thought that what I had between my legs was enough to say that I am enjoying this” giggled Michael, with more words she had heard him utter since the two drunkards had interrupted their make-up session “… but yeah it is ok… I actually prefer being… submissive in bed”.

She knew she wasn’t his first partner, Michael had had a previous relationship with a fellow male model (he had told her this when things had started being actually getting deeper between them, mostly because he was scared that she might be “prejudiced” towards him… strangely she wasn’t in the slightest) but she wouldn’t have guessed that he preferred the submissive role.

He was pretty shy, but Michael knew what he was doing constantly, unlike the constant chaos she was.

“Oh” she simply mumbled, before gently grabbing his hand from his side, pushing them up, over his head “… then… I think it’s my time to do something about it…”.

And she reached behind his legs, touching him over the clothes, meanwhile his hips keep rutting in the heel of her hand, meanwhile she giggled with mischief in her smile.

“… if you feel uncomfortable in the slightest, say “Gucci”…”.

She had never been the “dominant” of her relationships she hadn’t also very much thought about it, since sex was always some kind of childish thing with her previous partners: it was as if it had its passages and then… it was done… finished, whether you came or not.

Things had never been discussed and, although she tried to be vocal on her likes and her dislikes, most of the time “the man knew better” and she was always halfway through kicking them in the groin the following morning when they offered a second round.

That’s why she wanted Michael to be comfortable.

And also… not to lose that gaze full of admiration for her, although she felt like she might not deserve it.

“Did you…?” Michael laughed straight up in her face, and before she knew it her hand had quit the movement on his clothes and delivered a sound slap to his thigh, getting a pained moan “… that hurt”.

“You disrespected me, baby boy” she didn’t know how she had managed to speak like that, mostly due to her hate for pet-name, but Michael (literally) stood at attention  “… it doesn’t work like that, you do it one more time, and you will not come for the entire night”.

Michael gulped down a big load of saliva and she took a moment to wait for his answer, taking in the beauty of the model: some of the red eyeshadows had been roughly smushed around the lid, and she saw the lipstick mark of the color she had worn that night on his neck.

He still looked like a beauty and she was curious about how beautiful he could get if ruined.

“Yes, mistress” he replied, searching her approval, since her gaze had wandered off him, but he didn’t dare touch her “I will be more respectful”.

She gently caressed his face, collecting a bit of sweat, before she leaned down on a kiss-mark to bite on it gently and leaving a hickey on it.

And meanwhile this happened, she delivered another slap to Michael’s hip, hearing him let out a pained moan which she quieted with a kiss, cooing him in his mouth, meanwhile she gently guided to turn him around.

“Good boy” she started peppering kisses on his shoulder-blades, Michael relaxing again under her touch and didn’t see the sound slap she gave him on his plump ass, which got an howl from the poor boy “… this is for speaking up, in matters you don’t have a say into”.

She then delivered another.

“This is for not being quick in answering me, I expect the best from my boy”.

Another.

“This is for not counting… and believe me you will get one till we reach ten” she waited for Michael frail “three”, checking any discomfort in his voice, but although Michael’s held a painful sting to it, it was hazed and rough due to the excitement he was in “… and then if you are a good boy… I might think about letting things go further…”.

And this got Michael to count, whining for each slap, till ten, meanwhile she adjusted him onto her laps (she couldn’t help but laugh at the size difference, but only inside, outside she needed to try to be stern).

When Michael breathed out the “ten”, she gently helped him to get in a more comfortable position, meanwhile he kind of limped due to the redness and stinginess on his ass, which she caressed in an attempt to comfort him, as she gently cooed him and complimented him on how well he had taken his punishment.

“My beautiful good boy…” she cooed on his lips, gently kissing him with peppering kisses, in an attempt to get his hazy eyes to focus on her, which happened and immediately Michael was on her lap, trying not to crush her, giggling gently.

“Wasn’t I good, mistress?” mischief shined in his eyes, which clearly told her that he knew the answer “… don’t I deserve a reward?”.

She knew that she was being a bit too easy to satisfy him, that she should have made him beg more…

… but he was the cutest with his pouty lips.

And she lowered onto him, her nose skimming his stomach, laying wet kisses on it with carefulness to his gasps and his moans, mapping his skin, from the most sensitive to the least, passing again on the formers in order to blow air on them and leave hickeys on them.

She then reached his pants and brought them down, alongside the fishnets, his bulge appearing from his designer boxers, the length clearly bigger than the ones she was “accustomed” to, and her mouth watered, opening slightly and mouthing over the “Versace” boxers.

Michael shifted and she just needed a glare to make the flinching stop, a nervous glance shone again in Michael’s face, as if he was scared, but that fear brought him even closer to ecstasy she knew it, but the way its body trembled under her fingers, meanwhile she traced patterns on his stomach.

“Don’t ruin your reward, sweetie, wouldn’t want to hold you over the edge, right when you are falling from it”.

And then her mouth engulfed him again, taking more than before, still over the fabric but he lost himself, still he kept himself stiller than before, for which he was rewarded with a tiny peck on the tip of his cock, meanwhile an hand went to fondle him inside the boxers, finally pushing them down.

Her eyes shone at the leaking pre-cum on the tip, at the redness and silky feeling of the entire length which was confirmed by a quick touch, getting a shy moan from Michael: he sounded almost pathetic, but there was some melody in that ruin.

She lowered her mouth on him, meanwhile her eyes met him and soon their gazes were enthralled and linked, and she was unable to watch away as much as him…

… and when her mouth wrapped on him, he closed his eyes, just to be slightly reprimanded with a slap on his thigh, and a silly pinch.

She started with the tip, kitten lick and engulfing it in the warmth of her mouth, and the moved further, trying to take as much as she could and fit the rest in her hands, meanwhile teeth were sheltered under her lips, and hair fell down deliberately around her.

She must have been a truly masterpiece.

But Michael kept on looking at her, as if she was indeed some goddess and she only felt spurred by this to continue her ministration, till she felt him twitch and she backed off from him, a devilish smile on her face.

“… beg me, my sweet boy”.

Michael was clearly taken by surprise and she couldn’t help but lean down to kiss his lips, letting him taste pre-cum on them, but retreating to quickly, another way to tease him, as the hands that wasn’t working on him, caressed distractedly his nipples.

“I am not hearing anything, Michael” she taunted him, lightly.

“Please…” it was soft, and low, and she pretended not to hear it “… please, mistress, I need to come…”.

“That was quite cute, but you didn’t seem so desperate…” she considered, even holding an hand under her chin, as if she was thinking about it as the other speed up the rhythm on his cock “… and don’t forget… you have to wait for my permission to cum”.

Michael sniffled, slightly, showing teary eyes and she broke off character thinking that maybe she had gone too far.

“… did I go too far?” any teasing or annoying tone was brought away, and just worry filled her eyes.

Michael also broke away from his role, although tears shone in his eyes, he smiled, shyly.

“I haven’t said Gucci, have I?” he asked, sassily and the ruling part of her wanted to gently slap him across the face, for such disrespect, but then his voice broke off, excitement and haziness showing in her “… I am fine”.

“I was just scared I got a bit taken by this…” she tried, meanwhile he gently “… but now that we both know it’s fine, I suggest you to beg, because if you are not that desperate we can go on, for a little bit… longer”.

Michael’s teary eyes this time didn’t stop her and she just waited, till Michael obnoxiously mumbled a “please” after another, and another and she knew that he was basically on the brink of an orgasm, and although it would have been truly cruel to let him like this, she gave him the nod, which led to the permission…

…which lead him to come roughly and thick creamy cum was soon coating her hand.

He almost passed out, since not only he was breathing heavy enough for her to be sure that even the neighbors heard him, and worst of all his eyes rolled back and for a few moments she was sure that he was out for the tonight.

But then his hand reached out for her, as if he was asking for something to anchor him back after a mind-blowing orgasm, which got her to cradle him closer, his hand on her thighs, gently caressing his hair, meanwhile she waited for him to come back.

And when he did, he smiled softly and shyly, and she did her best to reassure him with gentleness and softness trying her best to make the atmosphere feel comfortable with him.

“I have to admit that I have never… you know… that hard”.

It was almost cute to see Michael like that after he had just acted that loosely with her, but she tried not to bring it up, the poor boy was already burning from embarrassment, she just shushed him,,kissing his forehead.

“Well… it was also my first time, in that kind of dynamic, I hope I wasn’t too rough” she asked, meanwhile she kept on taking slow care of him.

She thought about seriously giving him a bath, mostly because they were both a sticky mess, and the eyeshadows she had loved was smeared also on his nose, which she flickered gently to get his attention.

“… you were amazing” he replied, softly, his tone rough “… I think that nobody did make me feel like this, I honestly felt so secure with you, you always make me feel, like that”.

“Of course, sweetie” she kissed his nose, this time; the compliment went straight up to her mind, she couldn’t help but feel amazed that he felt like that about her, it was an honor, truly “… I love you, and this means that I want every inch of you”.

“People have always made me feel stupid for what I was…I was always too pretty, too stupid, too feminine and nobody ever wanted me for me” he gently reached for one of her hands, to kiss it gently “… not you, you are infinitely patient with me, and don’t mind each of my ‘flaws’…”.

“They are not flaws, Michael” she replied, meanwhile he looked at her up, surprised “… they are what make you, you, and I wouldn’t change anything in the slightest, so don’t even think about a moment that they ‘flaws’ “.

“You make me beyond happy, (Y/N)” he mumbled shyly, kissing again her hand, and laid a soft kiss onto her thighs, and she couldn’t help the shiver that left her body at the sheer contact.

For the entire time she had been focused only on Michael’s pleasure, but she couldn’t hide for much more hers, copious and heavy between her thighs, wetting the inside of them and she was sure that had Michael kissed a bit higher, he would have met her wetness.

She was still wearing her fishnets and panties under them, but her excitement was evident, and Michael couldn’t help but take in, a guilty look on his face.

“I wasn’t a true gentleman… I didn’t let you finish first” he mumbled, shyly and he quickly moved to make himself place between her legs, his intention clear.

“… oh you don’t have to” she giggled, trying to dissipate her embarrassment, closing her legs to stop him “… it was fine, I actually”.

“Oh no you don’t get it” he rapidly broke her fishnets and she couldn’t help but wonder where her gentle boy had gone, mostly when he looked at her like that, with a devilish glint in his eyes “… I want my revenge for before, so sit back, little princess and let me handle it”.

And soon his tongue was between her legs and she couldn’t think about anything more, except begging for more.

… oh, how the table have turned.

Mallory was drinking her coffee, when they finally decided to exit the bed, Michael had insisted for a morning round, just to be remembered halfway through it that he had a meeting in thirty minutes, and she had had to take the reins in her hands.

Well, now they were both satisfied and in need of breakfast, just to be welcomed by Mallory’s knowing glance, and she discovered even more because of the evident hickeys on both of them, and the little bruises she had left on Michael’s hips with the pinching and the slapping.

(Michael still hissed when he sat down on the table, for the spanking of the previous night).

“Shouldn’t you be at Coco’s?” she asked to dissipate the embarrassment.

“I have a meeting in twenty minutes” and then she looked at Michael, after she had taken a sip from her coffee mug “So does Michael”.

The boy, smiled shyly, almost hiding behind her and she wondered where had gone the boy who had eaten her out till tears, last night, rutting his hips in the mattress…

… probably the same place where Mallory’s interest for her own matters went.

“I can give you a lift, if you get me a mug of coffee” suggested Michael and Mallory just smirked, going to the kitchen, leaving them alone, meanwhile Michael gently leaned down for a “goodmorning kiss”.

“… see you tonight, lovely” he giggled, before kissing again his forehead.

“So we are that couple?” she replied, sarcasm coming from each poor of her.

“Sweetie you kicked somebody in the groin for me, of course we are that couple” he exclaimed, kissing her forehead quickly “… love you”.

“Love you, too”.

---

Thank you for reading everything!

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[everygame]

Spider-Man (PlayStation 4)

Developed/Published by: Insomniac Games / Sony Interactive Entertainment Released: 07/09/2018 Completed: 10/12/2019 Completion: Finished the main story and literally everything else in the base game outside of the random crimes on normal. Trophies / Achievements: 87%

So I’ve actually mentioned this a couple of times in previous reviews… but reviews of movies. That’s right! I watch those. So yeah, I’ve mentioned having to tear myself away from this to watch The Irishman (shouldn’t have bothered, not that it’s not good, it’s just that my folks hadn’t seen it and what else are you going to do during the Christmas break?) and then how this game made me think about “canon” within the context of the somehow enjoyable and yet truly awful Rise of Skywalker (enjoyable/awful in the bad way where it’s not enjoyable because it’s bad… listen just read the review if you care, and if you want to complain about my feelings about Star Wars please write your complaints on a postcard, roll it up and shove it up your arse.)

If you’ve read those, you’ll have ascertained that I clearly loved this enough that it was hard to like, do anything else other than play it when I had free time, and to get over any vague discomfort at having to live with yet another Spider-Man continuity. Really, writing this at the end of the decade (although you’re reading it well into the new one) I’m struck by just how masterful Sony has been in fostering its AAA exclusives, creating complete packages in the 2010s. It’s long had a bunch of second party developers that I have honestly struggled to differentiate (listen, I thought this was from the Infamous devs, not the Resistance devs???) but they’ve all slowly improved into producing games that aren’t just fancy graphics. Hell maybe even Ghosts of Tsushima will work out. I mean that Richard Garriott-ass white guy they had playing the shakuhachi dedicated his life to the instru... fuck I can’t be arsed completing that sentence.

(Of course, exclusives are kind of a ridiculous thing nowadays, and I’m definitely not saying that the exclusive nature is what made these titles good. But I am surprised to discover that I’m stanning so hard for them.)

Anyway. Spider-Man PS4 is a surprising one to me because a large proportion of its content is defeating waves of enemies in arenas, which apparently I have never enjoyed and even here I’m not wild for it. But then I think about what a bad time I had with Mad Max, which did the “do a short level” design instead (with tedious, obscure, downright bad level design) and I think how much worse it could be. And then you get to that the upgrades on offer aren’t that great (the first one you have is as useful as any of them???) which removes another of the things that you usually find fun about these open world games. And yet I never once got bored of this. Did I mention that they even use Pipe Dreams mini-games like this is 2007 or some shit???

Now, this could come down to that I love Spider-Man, and I’m actually pretty open to anyone who wants to say this is shit and they didn’t care about the story or whatever. I’d have to argue that it’s simply that it’s so similar to your Last of Uses and that: controlling Spider-Man is so pleasing, so rewarding (even with it using… too many buttons, honestly) that flying around the city or beating dudes up was always enjoyable. I died several times in this and never felt the need to bump the difficulty down, too.

It’s probably also that while the game suffers a lack of some variety (whenever you’re recapturing a base) there’s pretty much always something to do. Collectables aren’t annoying to find, and even fillers like checkpoint races are fun because of the swing mechanics. I honestly used fast-travel rarely, and actually had a bunch of the main missions clumped together at the end because I’d just swing around doing this or that on the way to the missions. 

Plus those main missions are pleasingly cinematic! And not just in the “things exploding” way. There’s some actual pathos in Peter’s story and some wonderful, blockbuster movie-quality character work/relationship stuff (by which I mean: far better than your usual game). Sure, there are definite flaws (they rush to get a bunch of big villains in like it’s Spider-Man 3, or something, and it just doesn’t need it) but the entire thing is extremely satisfying and it makes some big swings (even if at the end of act 1 I thought they were going to do something amazing, but they chicken out.)

Spider-Man is pretty much as good as one of these things gets.

Will I ever play it again? I bought the DLC on sale before even finishing this and my plan is to play through it all after a wee break because I want to enjoy the world for a while longer. I never, ever, ever do this.

Final Thought: It’ll be quite interesting (and possibly unfair) to compare this to Arkham Knight when I finally get around to it, considering I was so hard on Arkham City when I played it. I didn’t even mention that Spider-Man’s stealth is only ok (it does that thing where it just reveals you eventually, which always feels unfair) but I did like that it has a dodge, rather than a counter, making spider-sense feel different enough from Arkham that it doesn’t feel like you’re just playing the exact same thing as in Mad Max. So who knows how I’ll feel!

[mst3kproject]

Nightbeast 

Nightbeast is connected to MST3K in a rather roundabout fashion.  It was made by Baltimore-born director Don Dohler, who also brought us The Galaxy Invader, that movie we saw clips of over the credits of Pod People.  Like Legend of the Dinosaurs it steals plot points from Jaws and then never uses them, but the main reason it makes me think of MST3K is because it has a similar feel to Teenage Strangler, in that we seem to be watching something created by a small town who thought making a movie would be great fun.  Also, I get to embarrass somebody famous again!  Remember when I told you guys that the English script of The Magic Voyage of Sinbad was by Francis Ford Coppola? The soundtrack of Nightbeast was put together by J. J. Abrams.  We all gotta start somewhere.

A little spaceship is touring the solar system when it gets hit by a meteor and crashes on Earth.  The pilot escapes moments before its ship explodes, taking a nearby house with it.  While local law enforcement mobilizes to investigate the fireball, a group of curious campers simply cannot wait, and are fabulously disintegrated.  The next few victims are bloodily disemboweled instead, I guess while the alien waits for its ray gun to recharge, and then the cops show up, leading to an over-long firefight in which only Sheriff Jack Cinder, Deputy Lisa Kent, and one other dude in plaid survive.  It’s up to them to save the town from the extraterrestrial menace!

That’s it, really.  The alien wanders around killing people, Cinder and Kent have some very un-sexy sex, and the lines “be careful!” and “what the hell was that!?” are repeated over and over.  That’s the whole movie.

Nightbeast is terrible on every imaginable level, and because of it, often funny as hell. Its monster is a guy in a silly and immobile alien mask, and despite the title most of the action takes place in broad daylight, giving us a very good look at it.  No motivation is ever suggested for the creature, but based on its silver lame leisure suit and the fact that its ray gun makes people vanish in a variety of effects that look like they were rejected by Xanadu, I like to assume it came to Earth looking for Disco and was pissed to learn it had arrived too late.  The actors are bad, action scenes are confusing and go on way too long, Dohler is fond of inappropriate close-ups, there are random titties just for the sake of having titties in the movie, and the music is… let’s just say there’s a reason J. J. Abrams became famous as a director instead of a composer. There’s a bit where I’m absolutely sure they just stole the Tedddddd… NELSON! theme from The Incredible Melting Man.

In the midst of all this, however, there are a couple of isolated but shining moments of competence.  A sequence in which characters run to take cover behind a stone wall is actually surprisingly tense. The scene of local thug Drago murdering his girlfriend is truly upsetting, as much because of what the movie doesn’t show us as what it does.  The opening ‘space’ sequence is pretty good for the era and budget in which it was created, and there are some gore effects that aren’t bad, either.  You can definitely tell where the production spent its money, and being buried in shit makes these little diamonds sparkle all the brighter.

They still cannot save the movie from its biggest problem, however – which is that there is no plot whatsoever.  Rather than having anything that could be described as a story arc, Nightbeast is just a sequence of events that go nowhere.

Take, for example, a plot point involving Mayor Bert, who’s throwing a party for the Governor and refuses to cancel it despite the murderous alien on the loose.  Oh, boy, this is gonna go badly, isn’t it?  The alien is gonna show up at the party and disintegrate some asses!  No, actually, Plaid Man breaks up the party by announcing that poison gas is seeping out of the mines and everybody needs to leave, which does effectively clear out the town but is definitely not the space monster massacre we were waiting for.  The mayor and his secretary get their extraterrestrial comeuppance later, in a less public and very much less satisfying fashion.

How about the local hunter Cinder calls in to try to disarm the alien?  His son is disintegrated in front of his eyes, prompting him to shoot the ray gun right out of the creature’s hand and then sit down and weep!  Surely this will spur him on to be instrumental in destroying the alien later on.  Surely he’ll be grieving and out for revenge.  Nope, we never see him again.

The nearest things to proper arcs going on in all this are the love story between Cinder and Kent and the grudge between Plaid Man and Drago over how the latter treats his girlfriend Suzie.  These are fairly complete little stories such as they are, I guess, but neither of them has anything to do with the overall plot about the alien killing people.  We get the impression that both sets of events probably would have happened eventually anyway.

A lot of the stuff that’s in the movie, I think is there because somebody on the crew had it lying around and figured they might as well use it.  The ‘party’ sequence happens because they knew a guy with a swimming pool.  They had a ‘severed arm’ prop so they have a bit in which the alien slaps a guy in the shoulder and his arm falls off (watch the movie – there is definitely no tearing happening in that scene).  Somebody knew how to ride a motorcycle so we have both Drago the unconvincing biker and the scene in which Plaid Man (I think his name was Jamie?) rides a bike to the aid of local coroner Ruth, whose house is under siege by the alien.

The overall effect is that the movie feels weirdly incomplete.  The viewer is left with the impression that it was made by people who wanted to make A Movie, and who knew all the parts that movies are supposed to have – a monster, victims, a love story, human villains who get what’s coming to them, etc – and yet were unable to put those parts together into a recognizable whole. The ‘story’ is just a list of vaguely related things that happen, without any sense of direction or a reason why they’re happening in this order and to these people.

This is not the effect the film-makers were going for, because the climax of the movie really does try to bring everything together.  We’re told that the reason the monster hung around the coroner’s house was because it was eating the corpses (this also explains why even before it lost its ray gun, it sometimes just tore people apart instead of disintegrating them), and that a scene in which her assistant escapes using electricity was setting up the alien’s weakness.  The problem here is that these scenes, which were giving us important information, were interspersed with so many that were not important, we saw no reason to pay attention.

There’s not much in the movie that really qualifies as interesting but one thing I did manage to tease out is the types of violence it shows and who are the recipients of that violence. The alien kills men, women, and children indiscriminately, but its most graphic attacks are reserved for the men – there’s the guy on the porch who has his intestines ripped out, the dude in the basement who has his head squeezed off like a grape, and even the man whose arm is lightly slapped off his body.  When the alien kills women, we don’t get to watch – the first female victim we only see blood run down her legs, and although we get the aftermath of the attack on the mayor’s secretary, while it’s going on we only hear the screams.

When women are the subject of overt violence in Nightbeast, their attackers are human.  This is true of the murdered Suzie – while we only see Drago’s face as she is strangled, we do get to watch her be beaten beforehand.  Later, Drago attacks Deputy Kent (I think this is supposed to be revenge for Plaid Man beating Drago up) and we see her both beaten and strangled in some detail, although she survives.  I’ve tried to figure out what this might mean… why do we watch men brutalize women, but not the monster?  The only thing I can come up with is that perhaps it’s to emphasize the difference in the motivation behind the attacks.  The alien kills humans without caring about gender, whereas the men beat women because they are women.  Is this a comment on our own violent proclivities, whereas the alien is killing for food?  I doubt Dohler thought about it that hard.  The rest of the movie is too much of a mess.

Nightbeast is far longer than it should have been and would have been easy to cut down. The shootout sequences would have been way more interesting at half their length, and all of the sunburned 70s titties could go without losing anything of note.  As long as you hang on to your remote to fast forward through the slow bits, then there's lots to enjoy in the amusingly funky alien, the repeated lines and the poor deliveries.  An MST3K version, with the unnecessary bits cut out and commentary from the Satellite of Love, would have been brilliant.

[artycreative-blog]

Top Films, TV and Games 2018

Films

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (10) My one word review for this film was 'Perfection'. I've never in my life see such a perfectly crafted animation film or... film in general, really. Every single shot looked stunning. This, combined with the excellent story and characters, the incredible voice acting, the way they managed to fit seven (SEVEN!) Spider hero characters into it without it feeling crowded, and the amazing Miles Morales origin story means that it has to be my choice for number one film this year.

Mission Impossible Fallout (10) My second only 10/10 rated film this year, the sixth installment of the series was the best yet, an intense rollercoaster ride that left me barely able to breathe. Of course, the set pieces are the most important factor here; the suspense created by them has never been more thrilling. However, I loved the character moments too, particularly the slow but meaningful development between Ethan and Ilsa. I can't imagine how they're going to top this film next time.

Bohemian Rhapsody (9) Biopics are some of my favourite films and rank highly on my top films list on a regular basis (think The Theory of Everything, my top film of 2014). Bohemian Rhapsody was a powerful window into Freddie Mercury's public and private life. The Live Aid scene in particular had me in tears the whole way through, I couldn't have stopped them if I wanted to. It was the perfect culmination to the film. The cast was also amazing, but particularly Rami Malek at Freddie. The way he embodied every aspect of Freddie's personality was amazing to watch and I hope that he gets recognition past the great reviews about his performance.

A Simple Favor (9) This film was wickedly entertaining and all engrossing. I've never seen a mystery quite like it. The advertising leading up to its release was particularly important, enough to entice you without giving anything away. I wasn't surprised about the ending, hence the nine rather than a ten, but I was satisfied. Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively in particular gave stand out performances, although I fully endorse the use of Henry Golding as the handsome husband/boyfriend at every opportunity -- he's great.

Crazy Rich Asians (8) Considering I don't have much time to get to the cinema these days, the fact that I saw Crazy Rich Asians three times has to say something! It is without a doubt the most fun film I saw this year. I loved the decadence of it all, from the settings to the grand romance. Of course I appreciated that it was a full Asian cast, as it showed Hollywood that making films based solely around a different culture works, even if it has a Westernized skew to it. But what I really adored was the women in this film, they took center stage, each which different personalities, stories and motives. I'd really love to see more of that in the future.

TV

Altered Carbon (9) I've watched Altered Carbon three times. In a year where I've been short on time and have struggled to watch/play things, this alone should explain why it has taken my number one spot. Science fiction is one of my favourite genres, it has been since I was a kid. I've watched a lot of different sci-fi over the years, but when something really commits to it, even if it makes it complicated, I really love that, particularly if it is based on believable science (like in the Star Trek review). Altered Carbon was an amazing blend of intelligent writing, fantastic acting and a compelling story. A must watch for anyone who enjoys this genre like I do.

Star Trek Discovery (9) Star Trek has taken many forms over the years, but this has to be one of my favourites so far. The way it embraces science makes me giddy with excitement, much like the Martian did back in 2015. They then take this science and weave it into an compelling, sometimes heart-rending story which has proven to be a stellar series of the franchise for me. I particularly love the crew and how different they all are, that diversity in terms of personality is what I strive for in my own writing and I'm so happy to see it here.

Final Space (9) Whew. I did not understand what I was getting myself into when I pressed play on this show on Netflix earlier this year. I watched pretty much the whole season in one day. It was the effed up hilarity of it all that drew me in, but it was the characters and the legitimately emotional journey behind it all that made me stay. I was really impressed with this, I can't wait for more. CHOOKITY!

One Day at a Time (9) If a show can make you cry every episode, it automatically gets high marks. The great thing about One Day at a Time is that it also backs up the powerful, emotional issues it deals with each time with some of the most hilarious jokes week in, week out. The family dynamic is brilliant, Schneider included, and the way they handle the aforementioned issues in a balanced, sensitive way is wonderful. It makes it feel like their family is real, despite the sitcom style, which is so hard to do. I really love it and I'm so looking forward to season three!

GLOW S2 (9) I've never been very good at articulating why I love this show. I mow through every episode I'm given with very little thought as to why. It's incredibly watchable; I think a large part of that is down to the characters and cast, but also the quirkiness of it all. I also find the relationship between Ruth and Sam really compelling, whatever form it takes. I'm still very much looking forward to a third season.

Games

Batman: The Enemy Within (10) I originally gave this game a nine, if memory serves, right after my first play through. However, once I played the other storyline to the game, I saw how damn freakin' good it truly is. For the first time in a Telltale game, I witnessed the devastating effects that my choices could have on the characters, particularly John. Some of the end scenes in both versions are utterly heart wrenching and it shows perfectly the twisted dynamic a hero can have with his villains. I can heartily recommend playing both this game and the first series; if you love Batman, it's so worth your time.

Detroit: Become Human (8) This game is exactly what I needed this year, totally story driven and no more than 12 hours long for a play through. It kept making me want to go back and play more whenever I had time, which a lot of games haven't been able to do the last 12 months. The graphics are incredible and the plot itself can be really engrossing, particularly when you get behind the characters. I really loved Connor, I totally understand why Bryan Dechart has such a huge following now. He had the most compelling story line for me (helped by his interaction with Hank, who was also amazing) and acted the role so well. I have played through the game a second time and was able to follow as many different paths as possible, sometimes even forsaking my own conscience, which is hard for me to do! But I have no motivation to complete all the different paths, which is where I think it falls down for me. If you like games like Telltale games, then I would say this is a good choice for you.

Spider-man (8) The thing I loved most about Spider-man was its story. If you can write something that will make grown men cry on stream, without shame, then I think you're onto something. The great thing about games is that they a) have the time to let you delve into the lives of the characters, which is something that movies struggle to do because they simply can't cover everything they want to, and b) really immerse you into the world so you feel like you're actually Peter Parker, soaring through the streets of Manhattan as you thwip your way from Harlem to the Brooklyn Bridge. The web slinging is particularly good and the fighting is fun too, so long as you remember to dodge. There were some things that niggled at me, made the game not as enjoyable to play as it was to watch, but all in all it was a brilliant game and really did Spider-man justice.

Forza Horizon 4 (8) I remember the showcase for this game at E3 and boy, did it look good. Driving games were something I loved as a kid, albeit they were the likes of Mario Kart and Diddy Kong Racing. So far as 'adult' racing games go, this one is pretty great. It looks spectacular on a 4K screen using the XBox One X and the racing itself is exhilarating and challenging enough to make you want to work for those wins. I wish that it covered more of Britain, being limited to the countryside and Edinburgh was a bit of a let down, but I understand why they did. This is definitely a game that has more longevity if you play it with friends, although a quick jaunt down the motorway at 200mph every now and again never hurt anyone.

Destiny 2: Forsaken (7.5) Ah, Destiny. I've been playing the game since Vanilla and I can't explain how good it felt back in the beginning. I could grind for hours by myself without a care in the world. Forsaken hasn't quite recaptured this for me, as I still find it hard to play the game by myself. With friends, though, it's a great experience now. We love picking up all the bounties and working towards long-term quests in the evenings and on the weekends, there's plenty of content now like the players wanted. Personally, I wasn't a fan of the story, but that's a personal thing as revenge has never been a thrilling plot line for me, so I lacked the drive to get behind hunting down Uldren. However, the game is still by far the best shooter I own from the point of view of the way it handles and the characters you encounter. I'm very glad I've been able to get back into it with this expansion.

[traumatas]

Opinion about Detroit?

I’m honestly curious for how many people will unfollow me after i publish this ask, but you, dear anon, finally gave me a chance to complain about everything that bothers me.I should give a spoiler warning probably, so consider yourself warned.

If this somehow lands in any Detroit related tags by the way: I’m very sorry, I didn’t intent this to D: 

This will get certainly a little longer than you might have expected, but here I go:

First I wanna start with: Dbh is NOT a bad game per say and that I’ve never finished it, so I might be lacking certain knowledge or am out of the picture in a few points. (I have no desire to finish that game at all, so please no one send me asks that I should finish it, thank you.)I think the game did an AMAZING job at having a lot of options and you decisions actually influencing the game in a major way, that gives you the satisfying feeling of your opinions and actions being relevant! The quicktime events (that I reached) were very well put in the scene and transferred what the feeling of stress and importance very well.That being said: It gave me a lot of anxiety. I had a bunch of troubles with decision making too, but mostly because of the layout. I don’t own a ps4 and played at a friends house and finding out there was no trusty compass - looking layout made it hard for me to choose my decisions as wisely as the time would let me because heck where do I know where the square button is. I like to concepts of Robots and Androids and I think the whole magazines scattered around were a super nice world building aspect! A clever idea to give the player more information without making it mandatory for the gameplay. The graphics were super nice as well, no complaints here. Also the character designs, despite Connor just looking like a knock of version from Rhys Borderlands, were really nice! I liked the futuristic look the Android outfits had without looking like some weird scifi space fantasy shit, ya get me?

I LOVED Kara’s route. I have a strong Mom sense and love the found family trope. So taking care of Alice and trying to make sure she’s ok was just something that pandered to my needs/likes a lot! 

Sadly, that’s pretty much where what I liked ends. In general, I did enjoy some of the parts I played, but I think my BIGGEST issue with the whole game is the part that other people love.Hank and Connor. I won’t dip too much into why Hank made me truly and deeply uncomfortable, but he did and I wasn’t ready to feel bad every 20 minutes. Especially since I play videogames to have fun and not to suffer one third of the game (Here being said that I KNOW I can kill Hank, but even playing that far was nothing I desired). Connor, as harsh as that sounds, is just a copy pasted and that slightly altered version of David Cage’s other white male characters. We all know by now, that Daving Cage writing isn’t the best, which by NO means means you can’t enjoy one of his games, it’s just not my cup of tea.Despite being a slut for murder and crime and crime solving stuff, I just couldn’t care less about Connor at all. He was nothing more than a pretty white twink for me, because I couldn’t really connect to anything he did? And I felt a little forced that I HAD to be buds with Hank for me to be less uncomfy with him, but I wasn’t ready to compromise and be nice. Which I get is my fault, but also like it’s my gaming experience and if I don’t wanna play it, then I don’t. My life and all.What bothered me about Connor and Hank as well was the ABSURD focus everyone had on these two. When Detroit was still real big (it’s nearly extinct on my dash on this point thank god) I never saw content of the characters I actually liked. It was only Connor and Hank. So much really, that my ‘suggested’ page and tumblr was only Connor and Hank. EVEN after I unfollowed people and blacktagged it, I was still getting Detroit posts. It was annoying, ridiculous and stupid. It was just like other characters simply didn’t exist or didn’t matter because everyone loved alcoholic middleaged man and white twink too much. Or maybe loved seeing them f*ck too much. I explained it to a friend like this:Imagine someone buys a CD. Not an artist you usually hear, but the album is ok and you have no too big issues with it. So someone pops it in and put on their fave song from it, which also happens to be everyones favourite song - but yours that is. And whenever the song ends they play it again, and again, and again- and at some point you can’t fucking stand to even hear the first note or the title of that song. That’s pretty much how I feel about Connor at this pointHere I might add that I do not judge liking Connor and I do not say people only like him for his looks, as I am a HUGE fan of Rhys from Tales from the Borderlands, who’s just as much of a twinky ass white boy with robot parts. I just simply thought his Character itself war boring up till the point I played and he got on my nerves because he was SHOVED down my throat.Though, from what I’ve seen his storyline is the one that’s the best written, despite me not liking the characters.For example, I mostly enjoyed Kara’s part for the overall objective instead of the actual story telling, but at this point - because people also thought spoiler tagging isn’t necessary - I know that Alice is an Android so I don’t see why I should play through it just to see the big reveal that I now already know. you get me?I always hear a lot of people say they consider Kara’s and Marcus route boring, but I enjoyed them much more, simply because I somehow found more of my own thinking in the main characters. Speaking of Marcus, another thing I disliked was the cast variety. Or the lack there of. Of the main characters, an obviously huge amount was white. I’m a white person myself, so I don’t feel qualified to talk about how this could have be handled better, but I’m certain that some actual PoC protagonists wouldn’t have hurt, to put it nicely. :)These, without going into small things that bothered me, are probably the reasons why I wouldn’t consider Detroit a game I liked. I mean the fact alone that despite it issues it doesn’t get me hooked enough for me to wanting to continue, shows that I didn’t like it enough. Though, a big reason of more or less boycotting the game is that it was everywhere and in such a penetrance that you couldn’t escape no matter how many people you blocked or unfollowed, it was just a bad few online weeks I was having.Detroit spawned such a huge outbreak on opinions on the internet that it was just so much work to even get into any of the drama or the game itself. Personally, I think the game is neither black nor white. It’s more in the dark grey area for me and CERTAINLY not worth it’s price.Apparently not even for the people who played it, because if I hear another ‘I only rlly liked Connors route’ person say the game is worth it’s price tag, then I’lll just tell them to please stop lying to themselves.If you enjoyed roughly 40% of a game it’s not worth it’s high price tag. In the end I only wanna add: I DO NOT TELL YOU WHAT TO DO HERE.You can still like the game. You can like the game EVEN if you know how shitty it is in some aspects. Enjoying horrible media is totally fine. I mean I like some things that I know have moral issues or big problems, but important is that I am AWARE of these issues.(For example the weird incest-y or pedophile stuff fire emblem is doing more than I’d like to admit. I am aware it’s there and a big flaw, but I still enjoy Fire Emblem with a passion. Or the bad companion writing in Fo4. I love my shittyly written husbands dearly. So liking Detroit or whatever media or character is OKAY, just please accept that I don’t like it and don’t try to argue with me that I’m being to harsh about it.)I just took the time to write down the complaints I had with it (or at least the ones that I could think of of the top of my head) because I felt like this was the perfect opportunity to make at least part of my opinion clear. Anyways. That’s it I think.So with a “I’m glad Detroit isn’t on my dash anymore and people forgot about it that quickly” I’ll end this and hope I won’t get angry messages or loose a ton of followers B)Andrea, out.

[keegames]

Kirby Super Star Is A Perfect Game

What is a perfect video game? It’s a video game that is designed to be everything it needs to be and nothing it doesn’t. Control, mechanics, area design, graphics, and sound all come together to form a cohesive experience that inspires the exact feelings the developer is searching for. Nothing feels unnecessary, or like a waste of time. The pacing is expertly tuned to make sure you’re always enjoying it but never overwhelmed. These are some of the aspects that go into a perfect video game.

Kirby Super Star, released for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System in 1996, is a perfect video game.

Let’s back up a little. Kirby Super Star is a 2D side-scrolling action game (I hesitate to call it a “platformer” because any actual platforming is pretty trivialized by Kirby’s ability to fly indefinitely, and combat is a major focus) where Kirby utilizes their unique ability to eat enemies and copy their abilities to systematically pound the snot out of various other enemies and bosses. This formula was first spawned with Kirby’s Adventure on the NES (while Kirby’s first game was Kirby’s Dream Land for Game Boy, Adventure defined the “Copy” ability that is utilized in nearly all future Kirby games), but Super Star goes above and beyond in order to make a truly wonderful game. Let’s explore why this game is perfect, shall we?

Reason 1: Kirby

To start our exploration of why this game is perfect, we must start at the game’s biggest constant: Kirby themselves. Kirby, a genderless orb who loves to have a good time, is simply wonderful to control. Kirby is neither too slow nor two fast; they walk along at a leisurely pace, but dash with a bit more urgency if you double-tap left or right. Kirby, like just about every side-scroller character not named Spencer, can jump, of course. Unique to Kirby, though, is that Kirby can puff up and fill with air with another tap of the jump button, and then press jump repeatedly to fly. Kirby can fly for as long as they want, meaning that navigating pits and hazards is generally no obstacle. Pressing the attack button while flying causes Kirby to spit out air and fall towards the ground. The act of spitting out air also fires a small projectile that does a bit of damage to non-boss enemies. Kirby can also guard against enemy attacks, but many attacks will still do slight bits of damage to a guarding Kirby, and a few attacks cannot be guarded against at all.

Kirby’s basic attack is sucking in enemies like a vacuum. Most normal enemies can be sucked up; a few specific normal enemies cannot, nor can any mid-boss or boss. Once Kirby is comically large thanks to holding an enemy in their mouth, they can either spit the enemy out as a projectile or swallow them to destroy them. While some enemies have no effect when swallowed, others give Kirby a special power, which is where the game’s real depth comes into play.

Reason 2: Copy

Copy abilities are the heart of Kirby Super Star. When Kirby has a copy ability, their inhale ability is replaced by a set of attacks unique to that ability. While in previous games each ability had a single attack, Kirby Super Star decided to dramatically expand every ability. Abilities now contain multiple attacks depending on whether you press the attack button, hold it, press it multiple times, press it while pressing a direction, while jumping, while dashing, while dashing and jumping, while close to an enemy… Kirby’s moves rival fighting games in variety. Not only does Kirby have a ton of moves, most of them are useful, fun, and satisfying to use. From the sound effects of attacks and hits to the beautiful, flashy attack effects, to the fun of performing combos on enemies and tearing down bosses, Kirby Super Star is just a fun game to fight in. Oh, and copying has one more neat use…

Reason 3: Co-op

At any time, Kirby can give away their power in order to generate a partner that can be controlled either by the AI or a second player. This partner is generally based on one of the enemies that Kirby can get the power from, and they almost always share moves with the ability they were made from. They have their own health bar, but if they die no lives are lost and they can be created again freely, making them a good take on “little sibling co-op.” If the partner picks up a healing item, they can share it with Kirby by touching them, and vice-versa. Going through Kirby Super Star’s episodes with a friend is a wonderful experience.

Reason 4: Episodes

Kirby Super Star is made up of seven main episodes. Four of these are unlocked when you first start the game, the fifth is unlocked after beating a specific starting one, the sixth is unlocked after beating the previous five, and the seventh is unlocked after beating the sixth. The episodes are not just sets of levels, however; they each have their own core design principle that makes them feel unique. The episodes are as follows:

-Spring Breeze is a short and easy episode designed to introduce the player to Kirby’s abilities. Fun fact: it’s also a remake of Kirby’s Dream Land!

-Dynablade is a slightly bigger follow-up to Spring Breeze, with more levels, more powers, tougher challenges, and a few secrets to find.

-Gourmet Race is a quick race against King Dedede where you are scored on the amount of food you collect on the way, with bonuses awarded for finishing a segment first.

-The Great Cave Offensive takes place in a single, giant, interconnected area and asks Kirby to explore it and find treasure in a more nonlinear fashion than most of the game.

-Meta Knight’s Revenge is a fast-paced, intense episode where the levels have time limits and the enemies are strong and fierce. It also features dialogue from the villains and small cutscenes, giving it a lot of personality.

-Milky Way Wishes is the final “normal” episode, and features a bunch of levels you can do in any order, as well as harder versions of bosses from previous episodes. Its most notable aspect, however, is that Kirby’s normal Copy ability doesn’t function; instead, you find special items that grant you each power permanently, which you can then select from the pause menu at any time.

-The Arena is a special episode where you are tasked with fighting all of the game’s bosses in a row without losing a life, with only limited healing items available between fights. It’s the game’s toughest challenge.

The episodic format keeps Kirby Super Star feeling fresh. The pacing is wonderful, and you can take breaks from longer episodes like The Great Cave Offensive if you find yourself getting tired.

Reason 5: Bosses

Kirby Super Star’s bosses are big, flashy, varied, and above all, fun to fight. They all have a variety of attacks and patterns that are always fun, always fair, and regularly a pretty solid challenge. No wonder there’s an episode that’s solely dedicated to fighting all of them!

Reason 6: Music

Kirby Super Star’s soundtrack is amazing. It’s upbeat, bombastic, and catchy as all hell. Plus, unlike a lot of Super Nintendo games, it features really punchy bass and strong percussion, making it really stand out in your ears. There’s a nice variety, too, from the upbeat and happy tunes of Spring Breeze and Dynablade’s levels to the big, adventurous compositions of The Great Cave Offensive to the intense, menacing sounds of Revenge of Meta Knight. Heck, I could probably write an entire article on how brilliant all of Revenge of Meta Knight’s music is in terms of setting mood.

Reason 6: Yo-Yo Kirby

It’s Kirby with a yo-yo!!! And they can breakdance!!!

Reason 7: That Boss Fight Against The Thing Where It’s Set Up Like An RPG With A Status Window

It’s So Cool Guys

Reason 8: aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I LOVE THIS GAME

*ahem*

Kirby Super Star has no flaws and is an extremely fun experience all the way through, no matter how many times I play it. I think that it’s one of the few examples of a perfect video game, and that it’s the best game on the SNES. (I apologize to Super Metroid fans, Link to the Past fans, Mega Man X fans, Super Castlevania IV fans, and fans of all of Squaresoft’s RPGs of the time.)

(No I don’t.)

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 84

84: Sexy

Written by: Brad Falchuk Directed by: Ryan Murphy

Overall Thoughts: This is the last episode in a small crop of “I don’t really dislike this episode, but I don’t really like it that much either” episodes. It’s at the top because I really like the way the Klaine/Kurt and Brittana stories are dealt with, but still so low on my ranking list because I just can’t stand the other stories in this episode.

What I Like:

The Brittana story is finally picking up speed, and it’s so amazing to watch. First of all, I love that it was Brittany who made the effort to get the conversation going, not only because Santana never would have, but also because it shows that Brittany does truly and deeply care about Santana (something that doesn’t always come across). I like that they made the decision to talk to an adult (even if their choice in adult was questionable, but to be fair, who else would they talk to), that they followed through with singing the song, and that they had that very important conversation at the end. It’s so amazing to see Santana be open and honest about her feelings for Brittany, in a way she’s never been with anybody else. She isn’t trying to get with Brittany for status, or because she knows it’ll piss someone else off, or for revenge, or anything like that. She just wants to be with Brittany, and that comes across so perfectly in this absolutely heartwrenching scene. God, I love that scene.

Also, this is such a small thing, but I felt so emotional when Santana was telling Brittany that she thinks sex is better when it doesn’t involve feelings, because we now know that the person she’s saying that to? Is her future wife. HER WIFE. God.

“I’m not following” “It’s jazzercise, Will, it’s not that hard”

Kurt looking so offended when Blaine says he doesn’t think people know who Joan Armatrading is.

That whole scene with Kurt/Blaine/Sue

Look, honestly, just everything about Klaine in this episode. The “Animals” sequence, Kurt looking like he thinks Blaine saying “we’ll figure something out” means he’s going to have sex with him to show him the ropes, Kurt being so terrible at being sexy, “The touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets”, Kurt looking so upset at the idea of Blaine having slept with people before (because you know that’s what he really meant when he said he didn’t want to know the graphic details)... Just. Everything.

The scene with Blaine and Burt (which I think is also the first scene we see with just Blaine and another character without Kurt involved?)

The sex talk scene with Kurt and Burt.

Seriously, I always seem to forget that there such a huge Klaine story in this episode and it always surprises me in the best possible way.

“It’s pretty cool that our girlfriends are such good friends. Wish you and I were that close.”

“Wait, cucumbers can give you AIDS?” “Seriously? Because I just had some on my salad.”

What I Don’t Like:

Santana manipulating Brittany into cheating on Artie by telling her it isn’t cheating because “the plumbing’s different”. Yikes.

Santana immediately telling Tina about Brittany being pregnant when Brittany specifically asked her not to tell anyone.

Holly Holiday.

More specifically, the way that Holly Holiday doesn’t seem to be able to realize that it’s possible to be sex-positive without shaming people who choose not to have sex. She makes some really good points about wanting to educate the kids about safe sex, which I think is really, really important, but then she takes it too far and starts calling the kids who openly say they don’t want to have sex “frigid”. 

On the other side of the spectrum, I’m really annoyed that Emma has taken her own issues regarding sexuality and is trying to use them to stop kids from learning about sex in a safe environment. She, like most abstinence-only educators, seems to be under the impression that if they simply don’t teach teenagers about sex, they won’t have it. That’s false. They will have it, it’ll just be unsafe, and more likely to result in an STI or a pregnancy.

The whole Holly and Will romance was so unnecessary and ate up way too much time in this episode and in “Night of Neglect”.

Glee never fully fleshed out Emma’s issues with sex and sexuality. Here we have her as a married woman who still hasn’t had sex, even though she’s been married for four months. The only reason we’re given for that is that she’s still in love with Will, but I’m not satisfied with that. She has clearly had issues with sex from before she was in love with Will, so obviously it’s not just that she’s specifically waiting for Will for this. Is it because of her OCD? Sex is messy, there’s no escaping that, and there’s only so much showering and laundry you can do before and after the fact. Is Emma asexual? Demisexual? The way the show portrays her very clearly points to demisexual, but she claims to love Carl, so why hasn’t sexual desire followed that deep emotional connection? What is it about Will, specifically, that makes her so unwilling to have sex with anyone else, even her fucking husband? GIVE ME MORE, GLEE, I AM NOT SATISFIED WITH YOUR LAME “she loves Will so she won’t sleep with Carl” EXCUSE. Especially since we know she doesn’t even sleep with Will until they’ve been dating for a whole season (and when they do they do it in the worst possible way ugh).

Similarly, I really wish we’d gotten to see more in regards to Kurt and his relationship with sex. I think it’s really cool that they created a male character whose entire world didn’t just revolve around jumping into bed with the first person who would let him (though I do find it a little suspicious that the character they chose for this just so happened to be the gay one), but they didn’t really follow it up with anything. There was one attempted scene at follow up in “The First Time” that got cut, but even that was lame and clearly meant for comedic purposes, not actual character analysis. Kurt very clearly has zero interest in sex when this episode airs, not even seemingly in the idea of sex. Yet by the time “The First Time” airs, it’s Kurt who is pushing for more, who is growing frustrated with the boundaries they’ve set. So what changed? Similarly, after Kurt and Blaine start having sex, it’s clear that Kurt’s relationship to sex changes. We see it in “I Do”, we see it in “Previously Unaired Christmas”, but we never get anything explicit about it. It’s implied that Kurt and Adam have had sex, and it wouldn’t surprise me if he’d slept with Walter, but again, it’s never explicitly stated. Kurt is a character who was shown to not care about sex, then want to have sex but only with one person, then implied to be more open about sex, but we never got to see the journey of that or even get one small conversation about it. Even if there had just been a scene between Kurt and Rachel, or Kurt and Santana in season four talking about how his relationship to sex changed, I would have been happy. But we never get that. Instead, we get a whole lot of character development but with nothing specific to back it up, so it ends up looking almost inconsistent. It’s too bad, because I think this could have been a really cool story to tell, that also could have dealt with homophobic stereotypes and Kurt’s self-esteem issues.

Puck and Lauren’s story has always made me uncomfortable, but now it absolutely makes my skin crawl.

Ugh, seriously. Holly Holiday. Why does she even exist.

Songs:

Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah): Eh, it’s an okay song, and it’s cool how everyone gets into it, but it’s definitely not an appropriate song to be singing to students. For once, I agree with Will – too much.

Animal: This song is fantastic, and the performance is hilarious and just plain fun. I love it. I LOVE IT.

Kiss: I’m indifferent towards the song, but considering how much I dislike both Will and Holly it just makes me dislike the whole thing.

Landslide: Listen, I love this song. I really do. I love it with all my heart. It’s probably one of my all-time favourite Glee covers. That being said, why, oh why, did Holly have to sing this one with Brittany and Santana?! Especially considering she sings the whole damn song?!!?!?! Like, okay, I guess I could kind of justify it as Santana not feeling comfortable really singing her feelings for Brittany in front of everyone, so she wanted to hide behind a teacher to do it, but really it just feels like an excuse to make a moment that should have just been about Brittana also about Will/Holly. Ugh.

Afternoon Delight: Ah, I love it when Glee uses music to be funny. This performance is hilarious, and so is the reactions of everyone listening (especially Brittany, who is just genuinely enjoying it).

Final Thoughts: I don’t know why so many of the best Brittana episodes are so terrible in every other aspect. Granted, this one has a lot of awesome Klaine content too, but seriously, everything else is bad. It sucks, too, because the past few episodes have been so good, and obviously “Original Song” is fantastic, so what was the deal with this episode? This, and “A Night of Neglect” break up what could have been an amazing streak of episodes between 2x12 and 2x22. That would have probably been the longest running group of episodes that are just legitimately amazing. But no. Ugh.

[comiconverse]

Game Review: Gravity Rush 2

Gravity Rush 2 is a gravity-defying adventure game out now for PlayStation 4. Alan Stock slips into his sexy nurse outfit and takes a break from the skies to bring you this review for ComiConverse.

Game Review: Gravity Rush 2

It’s been a while since I played a game with so many contrasts. In Gravity Rush 2, one minute you feel like a complete bad-ass in some wild anime movie, soaring through the sky, unleashing devastating attacks on your enemies and it all looks so damned good. And the next minute you’re flailing around in the air, smacking off things like a clumsy oaf, disorientated and confused, battling the camera and controls. It’s a game where one mission could see you fighting Gravity Shifters around floating islands in a swirling sky full of explosions, but in the next mission you could be waiting in a pancake stall line chatting to the customers, or taking a photo of an old lady and her son outside his new shop. These are the strange range of experiences that the world of Gravity Rush offers.

I didn’t play the first Gravity Rush, or really know anything about it, so I came into the sequel with no preconceptions. The first thing that struck me was the incredible graphics. Normally this is low on my list of priorities – but this game is simply gorgeous. In fact I’d even go so far as to say it’s one of the most beautiful games of all time – and that’s saying something. It’s not just the high fidelity visuals, with its subtly cel-shaded characters against detailed, lavish environments. It’s the overall quality of graphical design that seeps through every part of Gravity Rush 2.

Incredible environment design, lovely palettes from vibrant colours to muted pastels, amazing lighting, visual filters and impressive special effects combine to create a truly mind-blowing visual feast. Artistic polish extends to the most minor details, from the in-game menus to the attractive animated comic dialogue scenes. It looks great in screenshots but you have to see this game in motion to really appreciate it – the world comes alive with shifting clouds, twinkling motes of dust, swirling gravity storms, changing hues, the bustle of flying life and amazing character animation as you leap, bound and fly through the environment, arms flailing, hair billowing in the wind. It really looks at times as though you are watching an insanely expensive Japanese movie – and is set to some sweet jazz and orchestral tunes.

But enough gushing over the graphics. What do you do in Gravity Rush 2?  You play as Kat, a feisty girl with the power to control gravity itself – called Gravity Shifting. This lets you fly around the sky at will – simply point in a direction and hit a button and you will ‘fall’ in that direction. You can stop your movement and hover in midair by pressing the same button. Although initially, this control method seems restrictive compared to standard flight games, you soon get used to it, constantly readjusting your direction as you surge through the air – with an excellent sense of speed. You can adjust your aim once flying by tilting the joypad, but this never feels that intuitive and there’s so much going on it’s easy to forget- instead it’s easier to simply move the camera with the joystick. You explore and get around environments by taking to the skies, unless a mission restricts your use of Gravity Shifting. You have aerial charge attacks, a crappy dodge, and you can use a stasis bubble to pick up nearby objects – they’ll float around you until you fling them at a target. A gravity meter limits the amount of time that you can Gravity Shift for, but it drains slowly and refills after just a few seconds of falling or landing, meaning staying airborne is easy. Checkpoints are also numerous and generous throughout the game, death isn’t too punishing.

Back on ground, Kat’s abilities are your standard adventure game affair – run, jump, kick, dodge. But, if she lands on a wall or ceiling whilst Gravity Shifting she can also run along them – although you don’t need to use this much (thankfully – it’s really confusing). She can also use a Gravity Slide to surf along surfaces at speed. Although at the start of the game you are a land-lubber, you soon get access to Gravity Shifting and the freedom and speed of movement it provides is exhilarating. As you progress through the game you eventually unlock two other types of Gravity Style which provide variations on the gravity gameplay and combat, and they are fun too, although they don’t change flying much – which is what you spend most of your time doing. Switching Gravity Style is done instantly through a flick of the touchpad allowing you a bit of strategy in how to approach encounters.

There’s also lots of combat, usually against the boring amorphous black blobs baddies called the Navi, thugs, or military factions. Combat runs into problems and goes hand in hand with problems with flying. Although when they both work fine, it’s a joy to play, at other times you will be shouting abuse at your screen. The main culprits are the camera and the imprecise control you feel when moving around at speed. Most attacks rely on a loose targeting system, without any lock-on option. As you’re usually flying around at speed, overshooting or missing your target is very easy to do and you find yourself wheeling around for missed attacks. Judging distances and stopping at the correct spots is difficult too. Add to this a disorientation of moving fast around a 3D space where attacks and enemies move and attack from all directions and things can turn sour. It often feels like you’re not in control enough of what you’re doing, and it gets frustrating. The game also occasionally forces you into tight indoor spaces, where the camera and your speed of movement just can’t cope, making for some miserable sections that are annoying and disorienting.

But when it works, it works well – combo attacks are satisfying, as are landing mid-air charge kicks and various special attacks. Some boss battles feel and look like Manga duels that you’re taking part in. Chasing speeding opponents through the air as the world rushes past is brilliant when everything just clicks. The pure freedom. Like I said at the start, it’s a game of contrasts – where you can go from feeling empowered to frustrated in a heartbeat.

The price of power in Gravity Rush 2 is that at times it feels a bit too much. The game relies heavily on nav-points to get you from A to B, and the fact you can fly at will means you don’t often need to do much more than aim in the right direction and hold a button. Some missions and sidequests encourage exploration, and others limit your powers somewhat making you use the other movement abilities at Kat’s disposal, but these are the exceptions. The playgrounds it gives you in the amazing environments are wonderful, but ther’s little incentive to play around with the tools available because flying is so strong. But on the flipside, you won’t get much closer to a game where you feel like Superman all the time.

The world of Gravity Rush 2 is one of fantastical floating islands, providing a lovely landscape and a perfect playground for you to use your gravity-defying abilities. The environments are vast and mostly seamless with a great sense of scale – you can fly for many minutes before you’ll hit any kind of barrier. Free-fall can induce vertigo in the faint-hearted, as you plummet through clouds. Fortunately, Kat can soak up a ground smashing fall impact without a scratch, although of course, the pros like me will try to Gravity Switch at the last instant for a cool save.

Much of the game takes place in huge cities made up of separate floating districts or houseboats, often layered vertically, making full use of the sky. Flying cars and craft putter the airways although strangely, there’s a lack of birds in the sky, a bit of a shame given the subject matter. A colourful populace of all ages and races fill the streets and markets. Exploring and navigating these spaces is a joy – they’re very detailed and look fantastic, each area with its own distinct theme and look. There’s also other worlds and fantastical dimensions to experience which are gorgeous in their own right, natural or mystical – a welcome break from the tenements, towers and domes of the cities.

But although flying around these busy skies is a large part of the experience, Gravity Rush 2 has a big focus on people. Kat begins her adventure in a floating mining village made up of conjoined houseboats, and her interactions with her friends and its crew play a big part in the story. Quests are usually to help other characters with tasks both big and small, Kat being rather prone to be taken advantage of by some pretty unscrupulous characters. Major story events are told through lovely animated comics, as the village reaches the big city and events of more magnitude start to take course. The city teems with people all going about their daily life. This is no RPG though, chat is limited to key characters, or when a mission dictates you can interrogate the public for information (an often-annoying rigmarole). The populace of this world are a very forgiving bunch, and long-suffering – as you happily play around with gravity in their vicinity, destroying stalls, ruining houses, knocking people over, accidentally levitating them, usually followed by a fall into the great void below.

This isn’t really a serious game though – the lack of consequence for tomfoolery like this, and the general fun and charming attitude of the game overall is refreshing. Kat is a cheery and playful girl, and there’s plenty of wit and humour sprinkled throughout the story and missions. Gravity Rush 2 excels in the silly, especially through amusing side missions and has a likeable, colourful cast of characters. When the stakes are raised, it’s never for too long, and there’s always some pleasant distraction to break things up. Case in point: in one mission you infiltrate a military base to help a deadly revolution, but along the way you get mistaken for a performing troup’s singer and then end up warbling over a smooth jazz band for the base’s crew, changing of course into a little sexy red number!

When you aren’t flying around during missions, you’ll be doing all manner of random tasks, whether that’s in the main story or the many side-quests. There” a lot of filler here, fly from A to B, fetch quests, follow the slow-moving dude, escort missions, collect all the things, and so on. A number of ill-conceived stealth missions are present – which become infuriating thanks to poor visual communication and instant fails when spotted. Other tasks are better and provide interesting uses for your powers. Kat has a nasty habit of doing random errands for citizens and friends, ranging from the mundane and tedious to the brilliant.

One funny mission has you taking photos of pretty young ladies for a pervy old man who claims ill health – Kat falls for it hook line and sinker, so you have to go around asking girls in the street for photos. As you can imagine, the chap is pretty pleased when he gets them…. Credit: Sony

Kat gets given a camera when she arrives in the city, and some missions have her taking photos of places and people, or doing treasure hunts based on finding a location in a photo she’s been given. It’s a lot of fun. Although some missions are simply boring like the aforementioned filler, others have a lot of imagination and make you use a range of your abilities. Memorable encounters include a police training excercise, doing stunts for a movie shoot, and taking a boy on a treasure hunt around his hometown following photographic clues from his deceased grandfather. So, there’s plenty of diversion from simply flying around. Sadly, despite the imagination in some of the scenarios, the gameplay reality doesn’t always match – some tasks can be laborious, tedious, frustrating or unfair. Some story missions feature unimaginative linear environments featuring stone tablets which force your through uninspiring challenges which strip your powers or make you fight waves of spawning enemies. Although sometimes it’s fun to have your all-powerful abilities restricted just so you have to try some other skills like the fun Lunar jumps, it gets a bit old – one of gaming’s oldest and most annoying tricks of taking all your toys away.

Gravity Rush 2’s story is a mixed bag, there’s plenty of heart to it and side-missions flesh out Kat’s relationships with the many side-characters in the game. However especially as the main story goes on, it throws more and more big plot events and characters seemingly randomly at you – keeping the action going strong. But many of these events feel like they’ve come from nowhere, having little to no set-up, and consequential moments for the characters and the game world as a whole are skimmed over and not really explored in any depth. It’s not a huge deal as story isn’t the main driving factor behind the game – overall it makes a better effort than many games in this kind of genre, and the setting is great. Playing the first Gravity Rush game isn’ required to understand or enjoy what’s going on, but a lot of the cast re-appears eventually, and the story continues where the first left off. Be sure to play beyond the final credits, as there are a number of extra story chapters to play through to reach the true ending, which has lots of story tie-in to the first game and the world’s events.

I have to give special mention to the extra challenges and photo tools available. Time trials and combat challenges allow you to aim for high scores and challenge other players. The game has a really nice integration online – a news feed trickles in challenges available from other players and you encounter them on your explorations within the game world. The treasure hunt feature is the best though – similar to the single player versions, you get a photo from another player showing you a photo giving you a clue to a nearby treasure location. If you find the treasure, they also get a reward when they next log in. If you’re successful you then take a new photo clue for that treasure, continuing the chain for a future player. It’s a wonderful idea and there’s plenty of these to find. Continuing the photo fun, you can also share your in-game photos online, in the game world you’ll find spots where other players have taken photos – which you can view and rate to give them rewards. Your photos might also be found and rated by others. As you complete side missions and other content, you unlock more filters, costumes, poses and props which you can use in your photos.

Despite some rough edges in gameplay, tedium and inconsistency throughout Gravity Rush 2, you can always forgive it. Its so full of charm, a sense of joy and character – and nothing beats the pure fun of flying or falling around these amazing environments with such tear-inducingly gorgeous visuals. Its a real spectacle that I encourage everyone to experience, it might not be perfect; but in environment design, art style and freedom of movement it soars above many of its peers.

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