#i love listening to the podcast tho but if it says anywhere near i live again no. like no

[kanaiow]

Someone tell me why the fuck tma mentioned where i fucking lived PLEASE IM SCARED.

[mollyphoria]

Moodboard #3

I was not able to make another moodboard since February because there's not much difference from what I was feeling from back then to now. It was pretty much all the same. Still wanting to get away and have freedom, yk same old shit but it wouldn't be a surprise that some things did change throughout this 5 mos like :

My lovely Calico cat Jimina gave birth to 5 kittens originally. She was pregnant at the start of this year and blessed the world with 5 cute mini jiminas on March 9 (same birthdate of BTS Suga)

3 of the kittens inherited her orange and white fur while the other one inherited the dark, striped fur completely devoid of any white fur. Only one kitten out of 5 got her triple color coated fur.

Sadly only 3 survived. Jimina hid the kittens briefly first and then abruptly one day she brought them up again already grown up, able to walk and with their eyes open but she only had 3 kittens with her. I never got to find out what ever happened with the other 2 babies with one of the missing of the kittens was the one that fully inherited the Calico cat status of Jimina which devastated me the most and I'm still heartbroken to this day that some of her babies didn't get to live like their siblings. I don't want to think that they died, I want to actually believe that they somehow survived without their mother miraculously but it's only the plausible reason why they never showed up at all 😞

The 3 surviving kittens tho is a lot of fun! They were rumbustious and full of energy. They were always playing and running around in my mom's garden. Climbing up a tree or an orchid branch, playing hide and seek through the plethora of plants. It was a treat to see them just having fun and I took lots of videos. I decided to name them after the BTS maknaes nicknames which is Kookie, Mochi and TaeTae. All 3 kittens have a very distinct personality from each other like you could immediately tell that Kookie is more introverted than the other two, his more reserved and prefers to be alone most of the time, TaeTae is more adventurous and playful but he doesn't trust that easily while Mochi on the other hand is the most extroverted and trusting out of all (FYI: I named them first without knowing their personalities believe it or not). Overall they brought so much life and extra joy in me. Now that they are 4 mos old, they don't play that much anymore, I guess it's really part of growing up regardless of what species. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now onto my summer. I was dreading it's arrival. It's not fun when you don't have an AC at your house in the hottest season. But anyways this summer I've been having this strong desire to experience Italian summers. I just wanted to be in Italy soooooo bad. I just want to ride my bicycle anywhere in rural Italy in a summer floral dress and eating a delicious gelato after while listening to Love my way by the Psychedelic furs. Yes this strong desire got even stronger after watching the movie Call me by your name. It envoked so much nostalgia within me which is weird because I've never set foot in Italy before but the feeling of longing that I experience just thinking about spending your summer in Italy is very strong.

Additionally, speaking of bicycles I successfully finished my remodeling or rather repainting of an old bicycle we have here which is perfect for summer aesthetics. I mentioned before on my previous moodboard back in February that I was in the process of painting this bike and I included a picture of a bike that I would like my own bike to look like after I'm finish with it. And I'm very happy and satisfied with the end result overall! And I would love love to ride it around Italy!...... perhaps.

These are 3 of the most impactful things that had rocked my world within the past few months and they are in a form of a documentary, an animated podcast and an anime film!

1. Grey Gardens

I first discovered Grey Gardens when I was actively looking for any good documentary to watch so I went to Reddit recommendations and one user suggested grey gardens. Its description peaked my interest enough to go check it out and luckily the full documentary is uploaded in YouTube for free. And I must say I'm glad that I took the chance to watch this wonderful hidden gem!

Little Edie quickly got my full attention on her. She's one of the most wonderful and fascinating people to exist in our world and her mother big Edie was just as interesting of a character as well. The way they live their life, spending most of their time in a rundown mansion near a beach was truly a sight to behold in a weird, peculiar manner.

What gives me the most profound impact about this documentary is the topic of wasted youth with wasted potential and the ironic part when your very own lifeline equally imprisons you as well. And we see this most evidently with little Edie. There was a part in this doc that stuck with me the most and it's when the mother-daugther duo was sunbathing in the balcony and little Edie mentioned about wanting freedom from her mother and the grey gardens then big Edie answered:

"you can't have freedom when you're being supported"

And this has struck a chord on me so strong because I relate to it so much especially with my current situation. I also crave freedom from where I am right now but I couldn't because I'm not capable of freeing myself.

What's more tragic was little Edies rebuttal to her mother's hotknife realistic take which was you can't have freedom both ways. That you couldn't have freedom when you're not being supported as well. And it's very true. If you decide to go out in the world by yourself you will definitely be freed from the shackles of your former home & life but you will subject yourself to another imprisonment.

Basically We're never truly free in this life.

2. The Midnight Gospel

I think I've heard of TMG when it was about to launch on its release year and I remember i was anticipating for it to come out because i just took one look at the official poster & I knew I would like the animation then I learned Pendleton ward is a part of it & I'm a huge fan of his creations so it's a double treat but I didn't had the opportunity to watch it back then bcoz of my busy shitty life & I actually don't have Netflix. But I remember i downloaded one of its ost first things first.

Now fast forward to this year. I now have the time to watch every content out there that I missed from all the years of slaving my life away for absolutely nothing. one of those is TMG & it was a perfect timing. Ever since i took an hiatus from the rat race I decided to strengthen my spirituality & this time I want to try delving deep to Buddhism and certain philosophies which I don't have the time and energy to learn before and TMG was a great and perfect medium for me to learn further about this subjects as they tackle topics like mindfulness and meditation and much more other significant things, not to mention the superb,epic, psychedelical, full of awesomeness animation on top of equally superb awesome soundtracks is*chefs kiss ( I still have an LSS to the prisoner's song.. 🎵drinking blood from a stump of a prison guard that I just chopped up....🎶)

I felt like the universe intended for me to watch this later than sooner because if I had the opportunity to watch it back then, I think I wouldn't/couldn't appreciate this show as much as I do now. So thanks universe!

TMG is honestly one of the best show to ever grace the planet imho. An easily perfect 10/10 for me.

3. To the Forest of Firefly Lights

Now I've watched a lot of animes last and this year and I can tell in full confidence that this is the best of them all. I'm sure it's subjective but this one checked all the box for the most compelling story & amazing artwork for me.

Maybe I long for something similar with the characters, It was just so fascinating and huntingly beautiful to have someone or something (whatever your preference is) from a different realm to be by your side. Maybe I would also like to look forward for summer season to come for once, to get excited and get rejuvenated on a hot summer that otherwise would make my life hell. Or maybe and most definitely I just needed someone like Gin as a source of my utmost happiness and comfort.

Overall this anime had made me feel so much warmth in my heart with its unadulterated poignancy and I just couldn't get enough of it. What a masterpiece ✨

Ps: I recommend listening to Warning Sign by Coldplay after watching to the Forest of Firefly Lights 🌹Check it out ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

[cidnangarlond]

Did someone say NOSY?? 😈 15 17 21 25 27 28 29 32 33 36 41 42 43, and 44 as well :]

15) Favorite movie

HMMMMMMM right now I’d say 2004′s “Night Watch” it is absolutely bonkers and I love it so so dearly

17) Someone you miss

My sister and my nephew! Like yes I saw them a couple weeks ago but still <3 and also my mom! She lives 2 hours north of here and man if I had a car I could spend weekends with her that’d be fun

21) What I love most about myself

Right now I’d say my pink hair bc I’ve been getting a lot of compliments on it!! Other than that my long as shit eyelashes so I never have to use mascara :) (not like I wear makeup anyway but You Know)

25) My idea of a perfect date

I’m a dinner and a movie kind of person, or just like. going to the aquarium and doing stuff like that and vibing, or hanging out at the beach just relaxing with some food :)

27) A description of the boy/girl I like

WELL they are a few inches taller than me and actually dyed their hair a light blue some time back so. inadvertently we now match dkjhsfkjds but they’re super funny and thoughtful and caring and I love talking to them about anything and everything <3

28) A description of the person I dislike most

I can literally namedrop this dude I went to high school with him and had classes w him 3 years in a row and he’s a meninist Trump supporter and so fucking annoying I hate him so much. I’m glad I never wanted to do doctor stuff because the college he’s at is where I would have gone and I don’t think I could have mentally handled seeing him in person around campus (Isaac I hate you so fucking much)

Highlight of my life was correcting him on something in senior year English class and my friend telling me at lunch that he looked so shocked a woman corrected him and I like my girl. you have NO idea how much happiness that fills me with

29) A reason I’ve lied to a friend

Most of the time it’s birthday related stuff or gift related stuff but there are times where it’s like, me not trying to hurt their feelings or pretending I don’t know about something to get the info on said situation which is pretty fun having all that information ad being able to do like. whatever I want with it. many times I could have ended friendships but I would have felt bad and people wouldn’t like me for that :/ anyway I still lie to a guy I knew in high school and say we’re friends when he’s really weird and I want him away from me Forever

32) What words upset me the most

Bro I hate being called a liar SO BAD. Like I can handle anything else, be it jealous, boring, irritating, etc but A LIAR? oh my god I’ll go apeshit I’ll get SO mad

33) What words make me feel the best about myself

Uhhhhhhh truth be told since my entire left all the praise I got was for my schoolwork and not Me as a person most things don’t make me Feel much of anything I’m just like cool yeah okay thanks. I do take pride in my work and getting validation on the great job I did but as for Myself. hmmmmmmm probably related to getting people gifts and stuff and seeing them get super happy and thank me because it’s just what they wanted. love that feeling :)

36) Where I would love to live

Ideally right near campus here, but in a better world where I have lots of money. anywhere but the United States

41) Where I want to be right now

Mentally I want to be stable but asleep in bed with no worries no homework no class or work, just vibing and sleeping or playing Skyrim and listening to a podcast

42) The last thing I ate

Peanut butter out of the jar but before that harvest cheddar Sun Chips

43) Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

I don’t actually think he’s like. Mega Sexy but the last image I saw reblogged before this was Mads Mikkelsen and I’m gonna fuckin kms I hate y’all for making see the Hannibal renaissance now that it’s on Netflix like it’s 2013 again. If you asked me in 2013 tho I probably would have said he was hot. anyway I know she’s an anime woman but Noi Dorohedoro

44) A random fact about anything

I used an AMV I made in high school getting over 300k views on my college applications

Thank u Bren!! <3

[rouletterook]

Content - JP Cappelletty

Summary - You bring Colson, Casie, and your boyfriend on your podcast and a proposal gets discussed.

Authors Note - idk how I feel about this but 

-

“What's up everyone and welcome to or back to the podcast,” you spoke into your microphone. “I have three very special guests that are very near and dear to my heart joining us today.”

“What's up?” Colson boomed in his mic earning a shove from his daughter on his right. 

“You’re not supposed to say anything before you're introduced,” Casie whispered. She was referencing the directions you gave before hitting record.

“You just messed up too though,” Rook laughed calling out Casie. Casie quickly rose her finger to her lips in an attempt to get the grown men beside her to conceal their laughter.

“I thought that was the introduction,” Colson said in an attempt to defend himself.

“Why would that be our intro? Do you even listen to the podcast?” Casie questioned.

“Yeah, do you?” you joined in. 

“I live with you,” he stated.

“And I date her,” your boyfriend added.

“Yes, both are true statements and if you are wondering, no, he doesn’t listen to the podcast,” you informed your listeners.

“And you still let him be here,” Casie sassed shaking her head.

“I did because I need content,” you joked earning gasps and ooos from the table. “No but seriously I am very happy to have all of you here. For those of you listening and can’t tell who I have with me, I have my boyfriend who really needs no formal introduction if you are a long time listener or fan but if you don't know him we call him Rook, I have Colson Baker aka Machine Gun Kelly who you can find in several movies at this point, and I have Casie Colson Baker who is my number one fan and will text me when I drop an episode and tell me how funny it is because the other two guests suck.” 

“Facts,” Casie whispered in the mic.

“You text her after every episode?” Colson asked a bit taken back..

“Yup,” you assured with her nodding in agreement.

“So because I sometimes tune in, what's the subject today babe?” Rook asked providing a drum roll.

“Alright today’s theme is plans. Plans for the future in terms of career, short term goals, long term goals, all that kind of stuff because I know there’s a lot in the works,” you announced.

The conversation took off really well. Colson and Rook talked the other leg of the tour and some music ideas that they maybe wanted to sprout upon just for shits and giggles. Rook stressed how badly he wanted to get you on the drums. Casie described her plans for the rest of summer and how excited she was to be able to hang out with her dad and everyone. You were able to drop hints about upcoming projects and trips for the listeners that cared.

“What about any predictions? Like something that isn't really a plan but you know is going to happen,” you transitioned.

“Rook is gonna propose within the next 10 years I think,” Colson predicted with a chuckle earning a groan from the drummer. 

“He has been asking me what my plans are since tour started,” Rook chuckled rubbing his face.

“You know why though? We were drinking in the studio, right? I don't know how you got brought up but Rook starts yelling about ‘That’s my girl’ and ‘That’s gonna be my wife’. Nobody tripped on it either which was the best part. I think at some point he mentioned proposing but like drowned it out with more yelling so we’ve been asking about the works in regards to that move,” Colson recounted.

“Why you groaning like it's bad tho?” Casie asked peeking around her dad.

“It's not bad it's just-” Rook paused. You could see the gears turning in his head but he couldn't put his thoughts into words that would make sense and not sound bad. 

“She’s not gonna be mad just say it,” Colson filled the silence.

“Unless you break up with her,” Casie piled on. “If your gonna do that just shush.”

“Babe what's your thing?” you hummed reaching for his hand that was on the table.

“It's something that I’m gonna kick around until I feel like it's perfect because you deserve everything and I can only give you so much and I don't want it to suck,” he huffed lacing his fingers with yours. “I don't know is that weird?”

The three of you mumbled no and shook your heads. Over the years of being with him that was one thing you really admired. No matter what he always made sure you had the best of the best. Your gifts were always planned to the bow and dates were always engaging and never boring. You completely understood his position but it wasn't something you cared much about since he already gave you everything you could ask for and more.

“I mean in a way it's weird because she’s been with you for how long now? She’s not going anywhere anytime soon. She loves you so much,” Colson stated. “Look she’s already crying,” he laughed as you wiped some stray tears away. 

“If you mess up the proposal, you can't mess up the wedding,” you joked attempting to lighten the mood. “On a serious note though, there's nothing you can do to anything up. You’ve given me everything when we’ve had nothing. There’s nothing that’s going to change my heart about us and one milestone isn't going to ruin the rest of the amazing ones.”

“It's like you guys are already married,” Casie commented. 

“That’s true if you ask any of the guys they’ll probably agree,” Colson said. 

“Yeah I know,” he sighed knowing everyone was right. “Soon baby girl.”

“I love you,” you whispered to him.

“I love you too,” he responded letting himself breathe.

“And on that note,” Casie started.

“We are gonna cut it,” you finished. “That was the perfect time to call it.”

“Dude how are you so good at this?” Colson asked his daughter amazed she picked such a time to stop it. 

“Because I listen weekly,” she bragged.

“And with that I thank you for listening this week. Big thanks to my guests who made me cry and shared their time with me even though they don't have a choice. Be sure to tune in next week for a new episode and I’ll see you guys around,” you concluded.

“On three we say goodbye, okay?” Casie instructed. “One! Two! Three! Goodbye!”

“Bye guys.” 

“Hotel Diablo out now go listen to it.”

Before anything else could be added you stopped the recording. You leaned back in your chair and watched as Casie complained to the guys. 

“You guys suck,” she huffed

“I gave content,” Colson yelled in a matter of fact tone. “I made Rook give content. I am the king of content.”

She spun around and looked at him and whispered, “And the queen of drama.”

[garbagegrimoire]

podcast notes week 1

Here are the notes I had going into the podcast recording for week 1. 

There are some spoilers in here & all of the doodle/synopsis posts have not yet dropped but the episode is recorded & here we gooooo...

Train to Busan

Starting out strong with a zombley deert (to speak in cursed rickyisms).

Giving his kid some yuppie bullshit talk & almost gets them clobbered in traffic, great dad.

Damn that escalated quickly. Why did it take so long for the first lady to turn but the others are like instantaneous?

The shots, effects, & choreography in this movie are crazy!

The grandma has lucid moments before changing which seems more than what the passengers got. & she used them to break hearts.

Ohhh he's a “fund manager,” ofc he's a dick.

Watching a zombie movie during a pandemic hits different.

I like that the bad ass in this movie is a soon to be dad with a dad bod & he's also a boomer who doesn't know how to change his ringtone.

Okay, they’re officially fit daddy & dad bod.

Okay legit tears at dad bod sacrificing himself even though I knew it was coming.

LOL young capitalist bastard fighting old capitalist bastard

This is capitalism & I hate it. OFC the motherfucker willing to screw over everyone else even if he doesn't need to prevails nearly to the end.

We need a zombie killing axe... Oh wait, nevermind, a shoe is good too.

Oh wow, that shit is poignant. The most ruthless capitalist of the group having a mama moment before he changes.

I'm sitting here yelling, get his nards, fit daddy! Do the nuts still have any effect?

Oh shit, fit daddy is infected. Human bites are gross.

This sucks, I hate it. :(

OH FUCK WHY DO THEY MAKE IT WORSE OMG!

& worse.

I didn't want to cry this much, not fair.

Re-Animator

Ooh, my German 101 skills are tingling.

Chaos nerd is everything in this scene. You wondrous ball of absolute cheese.

The security guard saying "Nobody wants in & ain't nobody getting out" is the Chekov's gun of this movie.

Fuckin’ nerd talk. Do either of you even lift? Why don't you duke this out in a tables, ladders, & chairs match?

I don't feel great about that transition between her playfully saying "no" & them full plowing. Greeeeeassy.

I'm with the cat on this one — scratch him!

"The world's last living puritan." LOL, come to eastern Washington tho.

How in the world is this lady's creep radar going off w nerdboy but not with the creepy old man trying to bang her?

They did a few things really well with this cat thing. Because usually I could not DEAL with violence against a pet. First the dead cat doesn't look anywhere near realistic, nonetheless once it's reanimated. Also, there's no like huge emotional connection between the character & the cat because the only experience the viewer has with it prior to it dying is it scratching his back after he's done banging, which I mean, solid choice there kitty.

"Because it's maaaad?" Best line in this mf movie.

I like how quick Halsey turns on nerdboy who he was stoked on like two days later. All because he insulted the creepy old man?

"Here's your meatball!" Writers were A+ obv.

"I know you're all by yourself now." Ew no. Again, she reacts to something other than the creepy old guy trying to bang her. PLEASE REACT, maybe punch him in the face or move to a different state without notifying anyone.

I’m dying, it looks like he's dribbling cherry applesauce out of his mouth.

This is the corniest, dumbest break up scene I've ever watched.

So once they're lobotomized they have like a mind link with the old guy head? Alright...?

Okay so we've arrive. This scene is fucking pure unadulterated cringe & makes me feel like I need to take several showers & drink bleach.

"Get a job & a sideshow." This entire movie is this nerd & that's what I'm here for.

How is there this seemingly endless supply of this green ooze? Also this reminds me of TMNT.

LOL the murderous colon strikes.

I'm very confused on the rules of what stays alive & how. Like the hand is still twitching but the guy in the hallway is dead?

Nothing gore-wise has bothered me so far but the chest compression sound is gross.

This guy is the worst. If he loved her he'd let her die.

Plan 9 From Outer Space

"Future events such as these will affect you in the future." You don’t say, friend.

Hillabilly gravediggers saying "sorta spooky like" is the mood here.

The scream is so good. 

A conspiracy theorist manifesto delivered on a suburban patio made entirely out of wicker.

The walking dead in this movie are so much more chill than the last two, just saying. Like if you're going to kill me, fine, but be chill about it.

"The earth people who can think are so frightened by those who cannot — the dead." Truuuuuuu. Thinking sucks, bro.

The pillow talk is all kinds of weird.

Hey, I know you're worried too, but because you're a child that can't care for herself, make sure you lock the doors because that's something a feeble woman wouldn't remember to do.

"You are on the verge of destroying the entire universe." Ooof this hits different now.

Yeah, it's old timey & corny but there are some seriously artsy scenes in this. I love the glowing trees.

Vampira is aesthetic goals if: I was more feminine, if I gave a fuck, if anyone ever looked at me, lol.

If some big dead dude was coming for you why in the hell would you just stand there or sit there & scream? Like these are the easiest monsters to escape from, you all are so gd slow.

That's it, I'm dressing up as one of these aliens for Halloween. All I need is some black pants, a belt, & a shiny purple shirt.

LOL little green men. Shoot first, ask questions later. Get all the tropes in there buck-o.

I just realized the dude alien is called Eros & I'm laughing. Total heartthrob. "You're always right, Eros." Fucking yuuuck. Miss me with all of this.

Holy trigger happy.

Explode the actual particles of sunlight. LOL, OMG "STRONGER NATION THAN NOW." These fucking nationalist trashbags.

Yes, of course aliens are religious too. & the're sexists. OH MY GOD IM GOING TO THROW THE MONITOR OUT THE WINDOW STAHP!

This was so much. I mean it's the old humans are dumb, violent animals & need to be gently led or annihilated. Okay, that can be true. But the aliens here needed to FOAD too.

Dead Birds

Is Mark Boone Jr in everything & will he die early? (yes)

Very aesthetic theme

Bank manager's whiskers are on point. 

The fuck? Oooh racist, niiiiice. I hate everyone all the time.

Yup this is how bank robbers would behave, wanting to kill of members of the gang to get a bigger share.

Gross, just listening into their friends banging, being creepy.

Is it turning into a bear? (Ohhh, the footprints)

Okay one of these dudes actually has something like a conscience, good to know, still hate him.

54 minutes in & I'm getting real bored.

Good jump scare w the little girl.

Okay the lady in the barn was too much for me. Gore was too much.

"There are worse things than dying" Best line.

Okay first I was like "that's not vomit, it's too white" & then I realized she'd been in bed with her dude earlier & yelled "ew, is she puking cum?" at my computer because that's where my dumpster fire of a brain goes.

Poor horses :(

He just disappeared? TF?

Nah, I’m not feeling this.