a conversation stuck in your throat | m. verstappen
pairing: max verstappen x singer!actress!reader
word count: 8.3k words
request: yes, by anons: “hii! i absolutely love looove looooooooove the soft!boyfriend!max fic you posted! could you do one where him and y/n went from friends to lovers and it's y/n's first time (so their first time together as well) and max makes sure it's as sensual and loving as possible (he just wants to spoil her and show her how much he loves her)? basically lots of fluff (and smut I guess lol) 💕💕💕” & “hii hope you’re doing good! can I request a jealous max please? maybe he gets possessive and protective and it ends fluffly? idk I’m not too good at this lmaoo. thank youu <33” & “desperate making out w max v in a club? reader and him are together/best friends” & “I have a desperate need for a blurb with sick!reader and soft max taking care of her/them 🥺” & “hi babes 💗 i hope its okay to request this. i have an idea for a max v fic, inspired by dress by taylor swift? maybe they started off as best friends and then they started dating but they didn't announce it to the public so everyone just thinks they are best friends still? and maybe the golden tattoo he left on her as a mark is a tattoo reader got for him? either 'max' or '33' in golden ink? idk if this exists in real life lol. and reader is a singer and actress? this fic could maybe be little moments between them? like with time jumps but this is just an idea feel free to make it yours 💗” those were a lot of reqs wow. i hope you all like it!!!!!!!!!!!
warnings: smut (18+ only, minors dni), language, christi*n h*rner (only for a tiiiny bit tho), (legal) drinking, i'm sure there's more that i missed lolol.
a/n: this is one of my favorite pairings i’ve ever written. i swear. i already want to write more for these two. as always thank you to my cousin @ireallydontknowdudee for helping me proofread<3
my masterlist / / click here to read part one ‘superheroes and flat caps’ (you have to read that one first, otherwise this one won’t make much sense lolol) / / click here to listen to the playlist i made for these fics
june 30th, 2021.
spielberg, austria.
the club was dark and the music was loud. there were bodies pressed together, people grinding on each other. the alcohol was present and common sense was long gone.
she had been a little apprehensive at first, she wasn’t too sure about the decision to drive to the club a few miles away from their hotel, but max had convinced her. and she’d do pretty much anything if it made max happy.
it was their first time clubbing together, and she was curious to see what type of drunk max was. since they still had to drive back, and she had to be up and presentable early the next day, they had agreed to not get too drunk. but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t have fun and enjoy the night celebrating her and her achievements.
“another one?” max’s breath on her ear made her skin get goosebumps, since the music was deafeningly loud, he had to lean incredibly close to her so she could hear him. she turned around and acted as if it didn’t affect her.
“i want tequila,” she replied, standing on her tiptoes to reach his ear. she leaned back and watched a smirk appearing on his lips. since they’d arrived max had been asking her to do tequila shots with him, since he claimed he knew a perfect method for it. she’d refused, sticking to drinks that weren’t so strong. but she wanted to please him this one time.
“i knew you’d change your mind, come on,” he was quick to grab her hand and lead her away from the crowd of people dancing. they reached the bar and max asked for four tequila shots to be sent their way. they walked to their private booth, where they’d left their coats and her bag. the security guard that looked after that section let them in without too much trouble, they were the only vips of the night.
she sat down first, sliding on the seat until she was pressed between the wall and max’s body. she laughed at his actions, he was behaving like an excited, hyperactive kid. he leaned in to kiss her cheek, something he always did when they were alone. since the beginning of their friendship she started noticing that there were certain things that max only did with her. touching, or showing any type of physical affection was one of them.
she didn’t find it weird or anything, she was familiar with the different types of love language, she just figured that touching was max’s. plus, she wasn’t complaining. she liked feeling loved, and that was how max made her feel. despite the short amount of time that they’d known each other, they’d grown to call each other ‘best friends’ rather quickly.
“so, what’s this great new method you were bragging about?” she leaned close to his ear.
“ah, impatient, much?” he grinned, she rolled her eyes, nudging his ribs with her elbow. “there’s really not much of a difference. it’s salt, shot, lime,”
“you do your shots with salt and lime?” she teased, raising her eyebrows, “pussy.”
“what?” max asked, taken aback.
“the best part of tequila is the burn. the ache that makes you want more, that feels so great once it’s gone, but is what keeps you going.” she spoke about tequila like one would talk about a lover, she made it feel intimate. “but fine, we’ll try your way,”
“well now my way sounds like bullshit,” max laughed, and she chuckled, leaning her forehead against his shoulder.
“we’ll do both,” she declared, watching the bartender drop off the tray with the hard liquor. “you go first,” she encouraged him. max nodded, grabbing the salt and a slice of lime.
“your hair,” he said, she frowned, “move your hair out of the way,” she did, throwing her hair over the other shoulder. “lean back,” he told her, holding her chin and tilting her head back, exposing her neck.
“what are you doing?” she asked.
“do you trust me?”
“of course.”
in the dark of the club, max held the sour lime between his fingers, then ran it up and down her neck, twice. she gasped, and max could feel her breath hitching as he touched her. next, he grabbed the salt. he poured some over the line of lime juice he’d just drawn.
she turned her face lightly to see him. his eyebrows were drawn together in concentration, she could tell, just by the way he was pinching his lips together, that a million thoughts were running through his head.
“don’t chicken out on me now,” she said, and max let out a breath of relief, he thought maybe he’d crossed a line. yes, they were close, but they’d never done something like this.
he did it. he leaned forward, licked a stripe up her neck, felt her quickening heartbeat beneath his touch. he brought the liquor up to his lips, downing it all in one go. her soft hands grabbed the lime from his hold and lifted it up to his mouth. he sucked on it, opening his eyes after wincing as he tasted three different things in a really short time, one after the other.
she was breathing hard, staring at him, the skin of her throat was tingling, she got lost in the blue of his eyes, which under the neon lights and combined with the darkness of the room, looked crystal clear.
“you’re up,” max said, she smiled, and just like that, they were back to normal.
they stumbled into her hotel floor, max was holding her waist, keeping her stable, her legs were like jello, so she kept her back pressed against max’s chest.
“i told you…” she paused to giggle, “i couldn’t drink too much,” she smiled, slapping max’s chest lightly. he was grinning, too, he had one arm around her middle, pushing her against his front as his other hand slid inside the pocket of his jeans to grab the key to her room.
“and i told you to quit after shot number three,” he raised an eyebrow as she rolled her eyes.
“boo, you whore,” she moved her head to the side so he could see her, and stuck her tongue out, max just laughed as he shook his head. he unlocked the door, opening it and letting her in first. he turned on the light, and watched her flinch and cover her eyes with her hands, “nooo, it hurts,”
“what hurts?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows at the thought of her in any sort of distress.
“my eyes, turn it off,” she peeked between her fingers, and was suddenly engulfed by darkness as he obliged, “thank youuu,” she sang, stretching the last word. “you’re the best. you, maximilian verstappen, are the best friend anyone could ever ask for.”
“thanks, right back atcha. but, you got my name wrong,” he approached her. there was light coming from the city outside, which helped guide him to her.
“what?” she frowned, tilting her head to the side.
“it’s not maximilian, it’s max emilian.” he said, slowly, and watched as her eyes flickered down to his lips, “two words,”
“hmm…” she narrowed her eyes, “i like it. emilian. it’s cute.”
“well, thank you,” he smiled. and she smiled. “now, come on, let’s get you to bed, you’ve got a big day tomorrow,” he placed his hand on her shoulder, she sighed and started walking, holding her arms out in front of her to prevent stumbling into something.
“can you come with me?”
“to bed?” he asked, chuckling. she rolled her eyes.
“to atlanta,” she sat on the bed, crossing her legs beneath her. “i’m going to be all alone over there, i’ll have no one and i need my best friend,”
“well…i don’t think i can make the trip to and from in time,” even in the dark, he could see the way her face fell, “but i can drive you to the airport, would that be okay?”
“i guess…”
“hey, you’ll be fine. i have more i’d like to say but we’re both too drunk, so i’ll tell you in the morning… okay?”
“okay. in the morning.”
“yeah,” he smiled, then took a step back, “i’ll pick you up tomorrow, then,”
“no,” she said, and extended her arm, “stay.”
“well, i don’t really want to sleep on a couch, but…”
“no, dumbass,” she laughed, dropping her back down against the soft pillows and mattress, “here, the bed is big enough,” she patted the spot next to her. she was right, this bed was one of the biggest he’d ever seen.
“but you- i-”
“it’s fine. i don’t mind. as long as you don’t snore,”
“you’re lucky, then.” he gave in, climbing into bed next to her.
-
september 1st, 2021.zandvoort, netherlands.
“why is three your favorite number?”
“what kind of question is that?” he asked. lifting his head from the arm of the couch.
they were in zandvoort, just in time for the dutch grand prix, max’s home race. it was the first time he was racing there, and he needed a good result. she’d been with him since last week, the italian grand prix, one that she hadn’t gotten to enjoy as much as she wanted to, given max’s sad result. she knew that it had gotten in his mind, he was at a critical stage of the championship, and every point counted. hence, why they were now in his hotel room, enjoying the last day of peace and quiet before the chaos that came with a new grand prix weekend.
“i’m just preparing you for the weekend,” she responded, a smirk on her face as he rolled his eyes. she liked this, the teasing back and forth, the jokes. the trust they had on each other.
“i swear, if i have to answer ‘what do you expect from this weekend?’ one more time i’m gonna…” he didn’t finish, just shook his head as he huffed.
“they’re just doing their jobs,” she reminded him.
“i know that. but why can they come up with new questions, actually interesting ones?”
“i don’t know dude, i haven’t done interviews in a long time,”
“lucky you,” he sighed. “it gets old, answering the same thing over and over again. and there are some people that- the way they ask, they want to get a reaction out of you. and of course i’m not going to give them the satisfaction.”
“but you’re not going to let them treat you that way,”
“yeah.”
“that’s why i like you. you have so much pressure on yourself right now, i know you feel it so don’t even try to deny it. but you’re capable of pushing it aside, that’s a great skill to have being who you are,”
“who we are,” he corrected her, “don’t forget you’re famous too, my friend,”
“yeah, whatever, but people don’t stop me for pictures as much as you.”
“give it a few months,”
“no thanks,” she laughed. “i like my life just the way it is,”
“really? you wouldn’t change anything?”
“no, i don’t think so,” she shook her head.
“nothing?” he smirked, she frowned, watching as he raised his eyebrows. “not even your… condition?”
“condition?” she asked, “i’m not sick or anything…”
“no, but you are a…” he raised his fist to his mouth, covering it, “virgin,” he coughed as he said the word.
“oh my god,” she rolled her eyes, grabbing a pillow and throwing it his way. he could’ve moved, could’ve dodged it, but he let it hit his face, he grabbed it and put it on his lap. “emilian, shut the fuck up,”
“i just can’t believe you-”
“so i haven’t met the right guy, so what? it’s not that big of a deal,”
“if it’s not that big of a deal why haven’t you-”
“because it doesn’t matter! the concept of ‘virginity’ is such bullshit anyway. men and society have ruined sex for many of us, it’s gotta be more than just physical desire. and i’m not saying there’s nothing wrong with that, you do you, do whatever the hell you want to with your body and partner, or partners, as long as it’s consensual,” she ranted, the words were leaving her lips quickly, he didn’t know this was a sensitive or important topic for her, since he found out about her lack of sexual experience one time when they were joking, as they usually did. “i'm just not like that, i want it to mean something, not just because it's my first time, that's bullshit, but because the other person loves me and cares for me enough to know how to treat me and cherish me the way i deserve."
"you want the whole… flower petals on the bed? lit candles thing?"
"shut up," she groaned, "i just want to find the right person. and once i do that, i'm sure everything will just… fall into place," max felt bad, he didn't mean to upset her at all, she'd told him that not a lot of people knew about her lack of experience, and some of the people that knew told her she was being overdramatic.
"well… i think it's nice that you're waiting for the right person. just make sure they're clean, though,"
"don't worry," she laughed, "i will."
“you'll have new material for songs after that." be pointed out, she smiled. "how’s the album going, by the way?” he asked, sitting up, with his back against the arm of the couch.
“meh, it’s going…” she dropped her head down, looking up at the ceiling. “inspiration’s not hitting me right now,”
“well… what do you usually do to get out of this…”
“writer’s block,” she finished for him, then sighed, “i don’t know. i’ve never experienced this before. words always just seemed to… come to me when i needed them. but now it’s… they’re gone,”
he raised his eyebrows, he could tell that this was something new to her, he saw the way her left leg was shaking, something she did when she wasn’t comfortable.
“i’m sure you’ll figure something out,” he smiled, she lifted her head from the pillows to smile at him, too.
“you didn’t answer the question,” she reminded him. “why is 3 your favorite number?”
“i… i don’t know. i’ve always liked it. i like the fact that if you complete the circles it becomes an 8.”
“oh, you’re right,” she nodded. “next question…” she said, turning on her side, “would you ever get a tattoo?”
“hmm… maybe?” he looked up at the ceiling, “i think it depends on what it is. you?”
“same. i saw online something about golden ink, not yellow, gold. with sparkles.”
“you like sparkles?” max smiled teasingly.
“i love sparkles,” she chuckled.
his phone buzzed, and he unlocked it, seeing a text from one of the media guys, who’d sent him a link to a youtube video. he tapped it, and the app loaded, he read the title and a big grin spread across his face.
“look at this,” he stood up, walking to the bed and sitting down on it, they were sitting shoulder to shoulder now.
“it’s up?” she asked as she read the title.
"uh-huh," he projected it onto the tv in front of them, their smiling faces plastered on the flat screen.
june 24th, 2021.spielberg, austria.
they arrived at the track, the red bull ring. he’d made her drive, of course, to get her used to being behind the wheel, as he’d claimed.
“are you ready?”
“no.” she rolled her eyes, opening the door and stepping out. max followed her, a grin on his face as he threw an arm around her shoulders.
“come on, it’s just going to be us,”
“yeah, and everybody else working here, fans waiting outside the track, everyone will see me crash that car and you,” she slid his arm off her, “are going to pay for it,”
“you’re not going to crash. it’s not that difficult,”
“yeah, you drive cars at ridiculously high speed, you don’t get to tell me what is or isn’t difficult.”
“noted,” he said, his arm finding her shoulder again. she left it there this time, she needed the comfort. they reached the red bull hospitality, dropped their stuff in his room and walked downstairs. “i have to go do the conference thing… won’t be more than thirty minutes,” he said, she nodded, giving him a tight-lipped smile.
“i know, we’ve been through this before, max,” she told him, “i’ll be fine, i’ll look some videos up to refresh my memory,”
“okay. don’t be nervous, it’s just gonna be us, remember?”
“yeah, i know. just us.”
-
they were approached by the red bull team principal, she immediately took a step to the side, she didn’t like him that much.
“car’s ready, cameras are ready,”
“cameras?” she asked, looking at max.
“why cameras?” he asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.
“marketing thought it’d be great for publicity, your friendship has a great presence on social media.”
“i told you this was a bad idea,” she told max, taking a step away from him.
“well, i didn’t know they were going to turn this into a media thing. but it’ll be fine, i promise,”
“yeah, now the entire world will watch me destroy a car,”
“i’d appreciate if you didn’t-” horner interrupted.
“oh, don’t worry, your golden boy will be paying for it,”
“and i told you you’re not going to crash, you have enough space to drive safely here.” he reassured her, sliding his arm around her shoulder, squeezing her against him, “but if you feel more comfortable without the cameras i’m sure we can figure something out,”
“it’s gonna get out anyway,” she sighed. “fine, let’s do this,”
“look at your face!” max laughed as he pointed at the tv. she cackled, too, watching her past self holding tightly to whatever surface was near her when max sped up as he followed the curves, instead of slowing down.
“my heart was pounding so hard,” she rested her head against max’s shoulder, “and my stomach was down to my ass,” she continued laughing.
“yeah, i wasn’t helping either,” he admitted, and she rolled her eyes. “you had fun, though,”
“i did. i did, it was fun. but we’re not doing it again,”
-
november 23rd, 2021.monte-carlo, monaco.
she could barely keep her eyes open as she walked to the door, the sound of the doorbell ringing made her head pound.
“i waited for you for like half an hour wha- whoa, you’re sick,” max said as she opened the door.
“oh, god. i forgot about the… i’m sorry-”
“no, no, it’s fine. are you okay?” he asked, lifting the back of his hand and pressing it against her forehead to check her temperature.
“fine, just… a cold,” she said as she wrapped the blanket tighter around her. “you should… probably leave now, i don’t want to get you sick,” she brought the inside of her elbow up to her mouth, covering it as she coughed into it.
“that’s not a cold,” his eyes widened, and he put his hands on her shoulders, pushing her back inside her house.
“wh- what are you doing? you have to leave, you’ll get sick too!”
“yeah, well too bad, i’m already in.” he shrugged his shoulder as he dropped his hand to his sides, he extended one arm, touching her hand. “and i’m taking care of you today,” he stated. it wasn’t a question, and he didn’t leave her room for complaints. “because i’m your friend, and that’s what friends do.” she smiled, holding back a cough, “and you look like hell. i want to get material for blackmail,” he raised his phone quickly, snapping a picture of her.
“stop it!” she cackled, hitting his shoulder. her laughs were interrupted when she started coughing, “i hate you.” she leaned forward, resting her forehead on his shoulder. he wrapped his arms around her, rubbing up and down her back with one hand. “thanks,”
“anytime.”
“i’ll pay you back when you get sick,”
“i never get sick,” max said, raising an eyebrow confidently.
“we’ll see about that,” she said, coughing into his shoulder.
“fuck you,” he laughed.
“thank you.”
“have you gone to the doctor?” he asked her after a few seconds.
“i facetimed my friend. ordered the meds. shit, that reminds me, i have to take my meds at 6,” she thought out loud.
“okay, that’s good. now, let’s go sit, you need to rest.”
-
“that’s dumb,”
“you’re dumb.”
“you’re being aggressive.”
“i’m allowed to be aggressive.”
“why? cause you’re sick?”
“exactly.”
“it’s still dumb.”
“he loves her,” she explains.
“then why doesn’t he say it?” he asked, frowning at the characters in the movie they were watching.
“cause he’s nervous! and he doesn’t want to risk their friendship by telling her.”
“but she clearly loves him too. why doesn’t he see it?”
“because boys are… dumb,” she gave in, agreeing with max. “they don’t see what’s good even if it’s right in front of them.” she said, shaking her head.
“that sounded personal… you alright?”
“fuck off,” she laughed, then broke into a fit of coughs. “i think you’re making me more harm than good,” she said once she recovered. she heard max chuckling under his breath, saw him leaning forward to grab a glass of water that was on the coffee table in front of them. he handed it to her, “thanks,” she whispered as she drank from it, taking a deep breath after she was done.
“nurse max at your orders,” he said, leaning back against her soft couch, “i love this thing,” he said, running his hand over the back of it.
“what?”
“your couch,”
“it is my proudest purchase,” she smiled. her eyes drifted back to the tv, seeing the girl on the other side of the screen watching the love of her life walk away. she rolled her eyes, her head drifting to the side, she leaned it against max’s shoulder.
“you tired?” he asked, not daring to move, as it would disturb her.
“a little.” she answered, being interrupted by a yawn.
“go ahead, i’m not going anywhere,” he said, she smiled.
“good.”
-
loud blaring woke her up, she sat up, looking around as she tried to locate the sound. she turned to her left, seeing max rubbing his eyes. he’d fallen asleep as well.
“what’s that?” she asked.
“sorry, i fell asleep. it’s the alarm,” he grabbed his phone from the coffee table turning the alarm off. “come on,” max got up, extending his hand out to her.
“why?” she grunted, grabbing his hand and letting him help her up, they walked to her kitchen. max grabbed a new glass and filled it with water.
“it’s six. time for your meds,” he said, sliding the cup her way. she frowned.
“you set up an alarm… to remind me to take my meds?” she said, slowly, the words sinking in as she spoke.
“yeah, he shrugged, like it was nothing, “i want you to get better soon, and you need your meds for that,”
“aw, you care about me,” she teased, popping the pill in her mouth and downing the glass of water.
“duh,” he rolled his eyes, walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her.
she held back a grin, biting the inside of her cheeks. she thought back to atlanta, when max surprised her not once, but twice. he’d done so much for her in the time they’d known each other, he knew her better than anyone else, better than she knew herself even.
max verstappen had turned her world upside down the moment he walked in.
or, she’d changed his the moment she stumbled into him.
maybe that’s why the shift from being friends to lovers was so smooth.
-
december 12th, 2021.abu dhabi, uae.
she held the bottle of vodka in her hand, she tried to keep her hands steady, but she was laughing too much, which made her shake.
“just go for it!” max said. she nodded, and max leaned his head back, opening his mouth, waiting for her. she tilted the bottle down, and the hard liquor started pouring down, into max’s mouth. his friends around them watched expectantly, waiting for him to declare when it was enough. she waited to feel the squeeze on her hip, but it never came. so she stopped. “that’s enough for now,” she said, max leaned forward.
“more,” he said. she shook her head, smiling.
“let’s do tequila shots instead,” her words caught his attention, and max’s eyes seemed to shine brighter than they did when he jumped out of his car earlier that night.
he grabbed her hand, walked to the bar and asked for a bottle of tequila, limes and salt. she hung onto his arm, wrapping her free arm around it as she leaned her forehead against his shoulder.
“come on, let’s go upstairs,” he told her, placing a kiss on the top of her head. she leaned back, a small smile on her face as she looked up at him.
“i’m so proud of you,” she said, letting go of him, lifting her hands and placing them on his cheeks. “you deserve this championship.”
“thank you,” he moved his head to kiss the palm of her hand. she chuckled, taking her hands off to help him with the bottle of liquor. “let’s get wasted.”
she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t been waiting for this moment since the first time back in austria. sometimes, if she closed her eyes and thought back to that night, she swore she could still feel his hot breath against her neck, his wet tongue gathering the salt, his lips barely on hers as he collected the lime. she wanted to feel that again. she wanted it every day.
they slipped away unnoticed, everyone was way too drunk to notice their absence, which was odd since they were all there to celebrate max. but they didn’t care, this wasn’t something they wanted everyone else to see. max sat down on a stool, a table by his side. he placed a plate with limes and the salt shaker on it, and watched her place the bottle there too. she stood in front of him, and he put his hands on her waist, pulling her close to him.
“sit,” he said. she raised an eyebrow. she placed her hands on his knees, pushing his legs together. then, she climbed on his lap.
“better?” she asked, her voice breathy.
“better,” he confirmed. she smiled, and everything she could see was blue. the blue of his eyes that never left her face. they stared deep into her, as if he was meeting her for the first time, as if she were the only thing that existed at that moment. she watched his eyes move slowly, they inspected her, memorizing every inch of her. she saw as a corner of his mouth twitched, her eyes went to his lips.
she loved his lips. she’d never told him that, but she liked that they were full and thick, and fit him perfectly. he took a deep breath as he noticed her eyes drifting down, his lips parted, and she felt his breath hit her chin, since she was on top of him, she had to look down to see him. she wanted to taste his lips, she decided at that moment.
she placed her hands on his shoulders, leaning forward. the hands on her hips gripped tighter, and max straightened his back, it was almost an automatic response when he felt nervous, and it brought him closer to her faster than either of them expected.
“m-max,” she whispered, her eyes on his. she saw as his eyes drifted down to her lips, “can i-”
she couldn’t finish her question, she was cut off by that pair of lips that she’d been dreaming of since they met, they were on hers, kissing her hard. a whimper escaped her throat, being swallowed by him as he tilted his head to the side and leaned forward, pushing her head back. one of his hands left her waist, he placed it on the back of her head, keeping her there. her hands were on his face now, and she felt him shudder beneath her touch.
later, as she found herself unable to sleep, she’ll think about this. how max basically melted under the touch of her fingertips against his face. she held him gently, compared to the rough battle their lips had at that moment.
max swore he was tasting a piece of heaven. when he was younger, he’d had to convince himself that he was in love with his partners. but the truth was, no one could make him feel the way she did. his feelings for her were strong and true and real. he didn’t have to convince himself this time. he knew it. and it scared him.
the kiss was growing desperate, one of her hands slid down to his neck, and she could feel his rapid heartbeat beneath the layers of skin. he leaned back, looking up at her through his long lashes, his lips parted as he breathed in. she felt goosebumps running down her back as she saw him in that state. his hands slid down to her waist again, and this time, she grabbed him by his perfect ashy brown hair and brough his lips to hers.
she wanted him. that was a fact that she’d tried to fight since it first came to mind. she wanted to blame the alcohol in their systems, but she knew it just gave her the courage to do it. these actions were all hers.
she broke the kiss, her hands on his chest, feeling his heart beating quickly beneath her touch. she leaned her forehead against his, closing her eyes as she tried to catch her breath. these actions were all hers. and that scared her.
“i can’t- i-” she panted, her chest heaving as she breathed in and out. she was afraid to open her eyes. what if-
“(y/n)...” his voice was breathy as he said her name. she felt chills, she felt time stopping as he called her name. but she could feel fear creeping up her back.
“no, max- we- we’re friends…” she opened her eyes, looking down. his hand went up to her chin, he leaned back but kept her in place, “we can’t-”
“cause we’re friends. i know,” he said, she saw him blinking twice, he swallowed a lump in his throat. she was right, they were just friends, and their friendship was too valuable to risk it.
she closed her eyes, swallowing the words, the conversation stuck in her throat.
-
december 13th, 2021.abu dhabi, uae.
she woke up with max by her side. he was warm, she liked that he was warm. she smiled as she placed her head on his chest, throwing an arm over his stomach as she snuggled against him. somewhere between the hours of 1 and 3am, they’d thrown all cautions out the window.
‘i love you, and not like a best friend. i don’t want you like a best friend.’
she was in love with max verstappen. and somehow, he was in love with her, too.
“do you not sleep?” she was startled as she heard his voice. it was deep and rough and raspy, and she wanted to hear more of it.
“did i wake you?” she whispered, looking up at him.
“well considering the fact that you’re squeezing me to death, letting me unable to breathe, i’ll say that was a great factor to me waking up,” he dropped his head down on the pillow as she chuckled, holding onto him tightly.
“can you blame me?” she asked, daring to place a kiss on his chest.
“no, i can’t blame you,” he smiled, sliding an arm beneath her, he moved her so she was now sitting on top of him. she raised an eyebrow.
“you like me being on top, don’t you?” she teased, leaning down, her lace covered breasts touching his chest, her lips hovered over his.
“it’s the greatest view,” he leaned in, pressing his lips against hers. she breathed in deeply, her hands going up to his face. she loved the feeling of his lips on hers.
“so much pining, anticipation…” she said as she breathed, diving back in, “desperately waiting.” her lips went down to his neck, where the evidence of the night before was littering his skin. they hadn’t had sex, max knew that had to be her choice, and he sure as hell didn’t want their first time together to be like that. “you know i woke up late… that day we met,” she said, her nails running up and down his stomach, where she could feel his muscles tensing, “or maybe… i woke up just in time to stumble into you.”
she sat up, looking for his hands. he laced their fingers together, keeping them by her sides as he sat up as well, coming face to face with her.
“and now… i get to wake up by your side.”
“my hands shake,” he said, “i’ve noticed that… whenever i know that i’m going to see you, my hands start shaking. and since last saturday, they never stopped shaking, because i didn’t know when i would see you again.”
“and now you know,” she said, bringing his hands up to her lips, between them, “you know that i’m never leaving your side.”
“good.”
“you’ve changed my life. i didn’t know i could connect with someone, so deeply and real, and i’ve loved being your friend, but now… i want more.”
“i used to be lucky enough to call my best friend, way back before you were my everything,” he said, making her breath hitch, he leaned in, letting go of one of her hands to move her hair away, his lips touched her neck. “now i’m sucking your neck,”
“you did that before, though,” she said, sighing at the feeling, “with tequila,”
“it’s different now,” he continued, “now, i just want to lay back, and watch you pin me to the bed,” he confessed, “and we’ll get as far as you want to.”
“give it time,” she said, kissing his cheek as she obeyed, she pushed him back against the bed, one of her hands slid up to his throat. “is this what you imagined?”
“this is much better,” he smiled, “and no pressure. you’re the boss here.”
he waited. she waited. they waited until she was sure she couldn’t fall more in love with him, but she realized that day would never come since max found a way, each day, to make her feel like the only girl in the world.
so she tried.
-
february 14th, 2022.monte-carlo, monaco.
she sat on top of max, with her knees on either side of him. she held his face with one hand, the other was curled around his soft strands of hair. their lips were tangled together, and even with that certainty that they were as close as possible, she could still feel max’s hands shaking on top of her hips.
“i want-” she started, breaking the kiss to speak, she pressed her forehead against his, “i’m ready.” she said. “i’m ready. i want you,”
“wh- you-” max started, but was cut off by her lips on his again.
“please. it’s valentine’s day, and- and i bought this new dress, that i know i look hot in,”
“so hot,” he said, kissing his way down to her neck.
“and i bought it… just so you could take it off. so, max emilian verstappen,” she pulled him by his hair, making him look at her, “take this dress off, and fuck me like you love me.”
she was breathing hard, and she could feel the way her words were affecting him. she’d gotten used to teasing him, learning what he liked, what made him sigh and beg for more. she wanted him to be the one begging, but if things went well that night, she’d hopefully be hearing that soon.
“i love you, deeply and true. it’s real and intense, and passionate. it’s full of desire and complete love. i don’t think there’s another word to describe it other than… love. so, no, i won’t fuck you like i love you… i’ll worship,” he kissed her neck, “i’ll cherish,” he nipped at the skin, making her sigh, her hips moved forward involuntarily, “i’ll love you that way.”
max took his time with her. her mind had gone blank, she let herself just feel.
he continued biting, sucking her neck. he could feel the way she was breathing fast, he lifted his hand and wrapped it around her throat, his lips met hers as he flipped both of them over, setting her over the covers softly. the red dress she wore made her look like a goddess. a goddess of seduction, temptation. her hair framed her face, in a way that made him want her more. her eyes looked brighter, her skin was glowing, her lips were full, swollen.
desire turned her into a whole different woman.
no, desire brought out the goddess hiding inside the woman.
“come,” max said, grabbing her hands. he helped her up, they stood in front of the other, max brought his hands up to her face, holding her gently. “i love you. i’ve loved you since the first moment. let me love you how you deserve to be loved.”
“please,” she whispered. he leaned closer, and they kissed, slow, deep. he slipped the straps of her dress down her shoulders, his hands moved to the back, finding the zipper. “take it off,” she sighed.
“patience,” he said, pecking her lips.
“i’m done being patient. i’ve already waited long enough to have you,” she said, max wanted to smirk, wanted to keep the game going, but this wasn’t the time.
he started pulling the dress down, and as the fabric abandoned her body, he made sure to cover it with kisses. his lips met every inch of skin that was available to him. he paid extra attention to her breasts, played with them and relished in every sigh, whimper and praise that left her lips. that made max work harder. he didn’t want to stop hearing those words coming from her.
minutes later, max couldn’t wipe the grin off his face as he climbed on top of her, his lips were glistening, and she was biting her lips as she watched him. she held his face and pressed their lips together, tasting herself as well. she was still coming from the highs of her orgasm when she felt his fingers on her core again.
“max, please,” she whispered. his fingers were replaced by his cock, and she bit her lip, hissing.
“no turning back now,”
“i’m not even going to try,” she smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck.
adrenaline, lust, love was rushing through their veins. this feeling was inescapable, not that either of them wanted to be somewhere else, feel something else. this was better than anything they’d ever felt, experienced before.
when they met, not even a year ago, they didn’t imagine that they’d be there at that moment.
“i love you,” she said, feeling another orgasm approaching as max gently moved his hips.
“you’ll love this,” he said, grabbing her hips and flipping them over, so she was on top.
“oh,” she whimpered, this new position gave her all the control, it let her feel everything. "oh, wow,"
“it's your turn now," max smiled, feeling her nails clawing at his chest, "what was it that you said? fuck me like you love me."
“fuck yes,” she whimpered, feeling max burying his hands on her hips as she started moving back and forth, getting used to this new sensation. “fuck, that feels amazing,” she threw her head back as she placed her hands on max’s chest, when she was ready, she raised her hips, then sank back down.
“god, you are amazing,” he grunted, helping her fuck herself on his cock. he laid back against the pillows, in awe of the beauty that was her. her, wrapped up in the bliss and pleasure that she was getting from using him.
“so, so good,” she whispered, furrowing her eyebrows as she leaned forward, pressing her lips against max’s, their sweaty foreheads colliding as she sped up her movements.
“i can feel you…” he paused, grunting, “your walls tightening around me, fuck,” his voice was deep and rough, she shuddered as she heard him, unaware that she’d been doing it.
“that’s… good?” she asked between sighs, max had planted his feet on the mattress, raising his hips to meet her thrusts.
“it’s great, so great,” he panted, her movements were becoming uneven, she was getting close to another sweet release. “i got you,” max said, taking charge of the thrusts.
her fingers were wrapped around his hair, since he didn’t have that many public outings at that moment, he’d let his hair grow freely, she loved it. she loved all of him, every piece, every imperfection, everything.
he loved that he’d let her learn what she wanted, what she liked, to make this moment, one that he knew meant a lot to her, the best and most perfect experience.
-
june 12th, 2022.baku, azerbaijan.
“shit, shit, shit,” she muttered as she almost ran to the garage. it was fifty minutes before the race, and she was late. so, so late. max had been texting her every five minutes, texts she’d received about thirty minutes ago, when her plane landed.
perks of being famous and rich, a helicopter ride solved most of her problems.
she made her way through the people, fans, and other random vip guests that crowded the paddock. once she was inside the red bull garage she leaned against a wall to catch her breath.
“finally! he’s been driving all of us crazy,” she heard someone talking to her, and she sighed as she saw max’s race engineer, gianpiero with an exhausted look on his face.
“i know,” she breathed, “i know, but my flight got delayed, and then the-” her words were cut off when suddenly a body almost jumped on top of her. she wrapped her arms around max, “hey, i’m so sorry i’m late.”
“it’s fine,” his words came out muffled, he had his face hidden in her neck.
“were you terrorising everyone without me?” she snickered.
“can you blame me? you were supposed to be here yesterday, i was bored.”
“oh, so i’m just something for your entertainment?” she laughed, max leaned back.
“maybe…” he smiled sheepishly, she rolled her eyes and grabbed his face, leading his lips to hers.
“i want to show you something,” she said once he leaned back, letting her see his eyes for the first time in three weeks.
“max, come on, time to head out,” someone said, and she groaned internally.
“i’m sorry, i-”
“go, go, i’ll be right here, okay?” she smiled, pressing her lips against max’s one more time. “good luck, champ. this win is yours,”
“hopefully.” he chuckled.
“i’m sure of it, and i’m never wrong,” she raised an eyebrow.
“whoa,” he laughed, “i can count at least fifteen times you’ve said that in the past six months and… surprise, surprise, you were wrong,” she laughed, slapping his arm.
“go. before i leave you unable to drive that stupid car,” he grabbed her hips and brought her close, connecting their lips again.
-
the feeling of being right is one that she loved. she liked being smug for once, to look someone in the eye and say ‘i told you so’.
she was prepared to do that, but then she saw max wink at her from the podium, and she was fine with it.
she made her way back to the paddock, but someone sliding their arm around her shoulders made her stop.
“it’s been a while,” she looked to the side, smiling as she saw charles.
“hey! it’s good to see you,” she hugged him. “how are you feeling?” she asked, this race hadn’t been the kindest to him.
“i just… wish this bad luck could stop now,” she nodded, understanding his frustration.
“i know. i’m sure you’ll figure something out soon,”
“yeah, hopefully,” he sighed, shaking his head. “so, where has max been keeping you captive? you basically disappeared after miami,”
“shut up,” she laughed, elbowing his ribs, “i have a job, too.”
“i know, i know,” he laughed, “i’m just joking. don’t forget about your friends, though. you can’t abandon us just because you have a pretty new boyfriend now,” she narrowed her eyes.
“did you just call max ‘pretty’?” she laughed, and charles groaned, realizing he’d probably used the wrong word, “and don’t worry, i know how to balance my time with the people i care about.”
“well, why don’t we go out for drinks or something?” he said.
“sure, next week?” she lifted her brows.
“sounds like a plan,” charles smiled.
“what plan?” max asked, materializing in front of them.
“hey, champ!” she grinned, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and kissing his cheek. “you did amazing out there.”
“thank you,” his cheeks blushed under her stare. “what were you two planning?” max asked, and she could feel his hands holding her tighter against him, could see the way his eyes changed when his eyes drifted from her, to charles.
“oh, just going out for drinks next week,” charles said, and his voice sounded small, like he was intimidated. good, max thought.
“great, we’ll see you there,” max smiled, a forced smile that she knew all too well, the one reserved for interviews.
charles gave them a tight-lipped smile, nodding.
“there’s this place with a… uh- rooftop and-” charles said, blushing.
“that sounds great, she loves rooftops, don’t you, darling?” max grinned, and she pinched his side in return.
“uh, i guess i’ll- see you there,” charles smiled before making his way to his own motorhome.
“couldn’t you be a bit nicer? he’s been struggling non-stop these weeks,” she bit back a smile, knowing that max was jealous, even though he had nothing to worry about.
“i know, i already talked to him in the media pen,” max rolled his eyes, “why did you talk to him before you talked to me?” he almost pouted.
“ah, because everyone wanted to talk to the winner, the championship leader and current world champion,” she placed her hands on his face, squishing his cheeks together, “i could wait,”
“well, i’m not making you wait anymore. come on,” he grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together, he walked her to the red bull motorhome.
-
hours later, they sat on max’s jet, the seats were incredibly comfortable, perfect for the long journey ahead. since the time difference would be quite significant, they decided to head to canada as soon as possible to get used to jet lag.
“hey, you were going to tell me something,” max remembered, “what was it?” he asked.
“oh,” she felt nervous, all of a sudden, “yeah, show you something, actually,”
“okay, what is it?” he asked, reaching for her hand.
“don’t freak out,” she started, biting her lip. “i did something,”
“o-kayy,” he frowned, “tell me now because i’m starting to worry,”
“you know how… i told you about the sparkly ink?” she started, and continued when max nodded, “i got a tattoo,”
“what?” max asked, reaching for her hands with his, pulling her to his lap.
“yeah, it’s… something small, but, you know, it’s important cause… it was my first,” her voice was small, shy.
“where did you get it? can you show me or…” he leaned close to her ear, “is it somewhere private?” she could feel his breath on her skin, it made her laugh, it helped dissipate the nerves.
“it’s here,” she pointed to her wrist, that was decorated with bracelets. max’s eyes went down to her hand, he held her arm running the pads of his fingers over it.
“can i?” he asked, holding one of the bracelets. she nodded and turned her wrist, so he couldn’t see the tattoo just yet. he removed them all, sliding them one by one and placing them on her other arm.
“before you see it i… i just want to say that even though it’s soon, i already love you more than i’ve ever loved anyone, anything. and i don’t… want to think too much about the future, but- even if we don’t end up together in the future,” she said, and felt max’s hand holding hers tighter, clearly not comfortable or too happy with the idea of them being apart, that made her heart beat faster, “i will always have love for you, you’ve marked me, inside and out. you’ve changed me completely, and i’ll never be the same person i was before i met you. you’ve brought out the best of me, and that’s why…” she cleared her throat, “i have this, to remember you, anywhere, anytime.”
she turned her wrist, there, right in the middle, a golden number 3.
she was watching him expectantly, waiting to see a reaction, but all max did was blink.
“and- and the good thing is, like you said- that- the three can turn into an 8. and if you turn it around the- the 8 can become an infinite. you- you know, the symbol for-” she rambled, but was cut off by max’s lips on hers. he held her face with both of his hands, and kissed her with such force, in a way that let her know that he wasn’t upset.
“there’s no need. no need for you to change it. i love it, and i love you. and you have nothing to worry about, cause you and i-” he pressed his forehead against hers, “we’re forever.”
-
@lovingroscoee
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