#i love my men deranged with a tiny soft spot

[lemoonthetwink]

Rime is here!

Might turn this serie into print, idk, I should think of it I guess

[mymelodyheart]

All I Want For Christmas Is You Chapter 6 ~Christmas Treats~

 Picture Source

Previously in Rollover Rollo ...

"That's my dog!"

She let out a throaty laugh. "Oh, that's fine then! I'll keep him with me until I'm done with my bath. And then I'll bring him over to you."

"Why didn't ye tell me it's a dog ye're with?"

"Did I not? I'm sorry I was distracted feeding him croissant with butter. I hope that's alright with you."

"I thought you were having breakfast with another man in yer bathrobe!" His voice held a slightly accusatory tone.

"Well, you thought wrong. So, you're alright with Rollo having croissant with butter? He seems to love it."

He counted backwards, starting from ten, and when he was done, he almost laughed out loud. Knowing Claire didn't mind having his dog around her, made him like her even more. "Aye, that's alright, Sassenach. A wee treat once in a while, never did him harm. Speaking of treats, I could use one too actually."

"What did you have in mind?"

"I'm coming over to tell ye." And then he hung up before she could respond and made a dash out of the door.

If you wish to read this on AO3, here is the link.

If you wish to read this from the beginning:

AO3 link

Tumblr link

 Ah, son of a monkey! He's coming! Claire stepped away from the window and yanked the curtain back, her eyes darting here, there and everywhere in the living area of her B&B cottage.

Her gaze landed on Rollo. "Well, come on then. What are you waiting for? Daddy's coming to get you." She clapped both hands on her thighs. "There's a good boy. Come on ...come here." 

Rollo didn't budge. Instead, he let out a doggy whimper and lowered himself onto the rug, laying his head on his paws. He was looking at her as if to say, "No-uh. I'm staying."

Oh for the love of God! She didn't have time for this. Unsure what to do next, she walked back and forth on the same spot. The plan had been to slip Rollo through the door when Jamie came, so he didn't have to see her morning look. She probably still looked puffy from all the alcohol she drank last night and her skin blotchy as a result of over-indulgence. 

Digging deep into the pocket of her bathrobe, she pulled out a band and quickly tied her hair back. Without a mirror in sight, she knew already her untamed wisps of curls sprang in all directions. Fudge, fudge, fudge. Maybe she could quickly run to the bathroom and do something about her unruly locks.

There was a knock on the door. Claire stilled and groaned in exasperation. Too late! 

She glared at Rollo. "You think this is funny? Your daddy is going to run to the nearest hill when he sees me like this." But Rollo remained where he was and looked away. "Fine! Stay where you are, you ungrateful mutt! No more croissants for you. Ever. Do you hear me?"

Another knock ensued. "Sassenach?"

"I'm coming!"

"I can hear ye talking to Rollo."

"Give me a sec!" She smoothed back her hair and pulled the ties of her bathrobe tighter. Squaring her shoulders, she took a deep breath, rolled her lips to plump them and opened the door.

"Hi!" Jamie greeted as soon as he saw her. With his hands shoved in the pocket of his sweatshirt, he was shifting on his feet to keep warm. His cheeks were ruddy from the cold, hair tousled by the wind, and a shadow of a day-old beard hugged his jaw. "G' morning!"

Her own greeting was stuck in her throat, as her heart leapt at the wide grin on his face.

He arched an eyebrow. "Are ye letting me in? It's bloody freezing out here, and ye're letting the cold into the house."

"Oops, sorry." She blew out a breath and took a step back. As soon as he walked in, she quickly shut the door. Rollo glanced at his master but barely moved his head. Ah, just great!  She tried to be casual as she wandered towards the kitchenette, grabbing the pastry paper wrappers, an empty mug and a used plate from the table. "If you're looking for croissants, you're out of luck. Rollo ate them all."

His mouth drew up at one side. "No, I'm fine. Dinnae want any."

"I thought you said you could use some treat."

"Aye."

She glanced over to him and noted he was looking at the clothes neatly stacked over the armchair, her white lace bra on top of the pile. She tamped down the urge to dive in and grab the garments. "I don't have anything else to offer besides coffee, tea and fruits," she said, waving a hand at the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter, attempting to distract and prevent him from looking further into the female clutter scattered everywhere. "Annalise and I eat out."

He looked at her and took a step forward. "Dinnae want fruit, and I've had my coffee already."

"Well if that's the case, I really need to go and take a bath." She didn't feel comfortable standing there and conversing with this beautiful man in her bathrobe when he looked so well put together and at ease. She now wished she had taken the time to put mascara on or straightened her hair when she went to the bakery earlier.

His gaze settled on the table, and he picked up one of the postcards she bought in Inverness. "Dinnae fash, we'll go soon," he assured her. "Are ye sending these to yer friends?" he asked, waving a postcard.

She smiled. "No. It's for me. I collect them for my scrapbook."

He looked at her. "Scrapbook?"

"It's kind of my diary stroke travelogue with pictures of places I've been to."

"That's verra nice," he said quietly, his eyes lighting up when he spied Men's Health glossy magazine with a front cover picture of Gerard Butler headlining Hot Scots on the Rock. He grinned at her. "Ye like Gerard Butler? Isnae he a bit too old for ye?"

Her face heated. "It's just something I randomly picked up at the kiosk. We were in a hurry to catch the train and Annalise, and I were just grabbing anything we could get our hands on."

"I thought the magazine stands were predominantly women's magazine. Didnae realised Men's Health would be among the women's publications."

She let out a high-pitched neurotic laugh. "Who would've thought."

"Aye, who would've."

Claire glanced around trying to summon something else to say. The cottage wasn't spacious, and he filled the room with his presence. The fact that he stood nearby when she had nothing on underneath the bathrobe caused a delicate shudder to coast down her back, but she managed just about to maintain a veneer of composure. She was already regretting teasing him earlier, thinking flirting with him on the phone while in the safety of her cottage would be harmless fun. Now that he was here, she was one bumbling mess, not to mention probably looking deranged with her unkempt looks. "Jamie ...can we continue this later? I really need to get ready and ..." she trailed off and shrugged, fidgetting with her bathrobe ties.

He placed the postcard back on the table, drew himself up to full height, and slowly closed the distance between them, his gaze never leaving hers.

Her mouth opened, then closed on a nervous squeak, her eyes widening at his obvious intention. She cleared her throat. "It's just that Annalise would be here soon and I want to make sure I'm ready when she comes back. Tomorrow is Christmas eve, and I think she probably wants to do some last-minute Christmas shopping," she rambled, taking a few steps back until her back hit the fridge.

"This won't take long," he said softly. He moved slow and deliberate, reaching out to smoothly tuck a loose strand behind her ear, his deep voice wrapping her in a cosy blanket of security.

Like her legs, her tongue twisted in her mouth. "W-what won't take long?" she asked, even though she knew the answer already.

A flicker of heat lit his eyes. "I would like to kiss you. Again."

She gulped, her heart starting to gallop at a faster rate. "H-how about I take your word for it, and we resume this when I'm more presentable? Like after I've taken my bath?"

"I dinnae think I can wait any longer. May I? Please?"

"I look like a right mess," she croaked.

His lips quirked, and he stroke her cheek with gentle motions. "No. Not at all. Ye look beautiful just as ye are now, Sassenach. I can't get ye out of my head. I keep thinking about that kiss last night. Have ye thought about it?"

"Yes." Her admission was barely a whisper. 

He gently laid both hands on her arms, his eyes caressing her face. "And?"

"I just want you to know I don't do meaningless affairs," she blurted.

"Neither do I nor do I plan to."

"Jamie! I'm serious!"

"Good. So am I. Look, I dinnae care if there's supposed to be a particular order of doing things. All I ken is I like ye and ye like me, and I'm just going with my feelings and winging it. Right now, I would like verra much to kiss ye. If ye'll say no, I promise I will no' be offended, but I'm hoping with my unwavering persistence, that I will get that kiss one day. So, I'll ask again, may I kiss ye, Sassenach?"

She let out a tiny moan and tried to delay the inevitable, racking her brain for any valid reasons why she shouldn't take the plunge. When she couldn't muster any from her addled brain, she could only nod and lick her lips. 

His gorgeous blue eyes darkened, and a small smile played on his mouth. "Thank ye."

"Oh dear," she breathed as she placed her hands on his muscular chest.

He lowered his head, stopping inches from hers. "Oh, aye."

And then it happened. 

His lips descended upon hers, and logic and everything else fizzled away into obscurity. 

Opening for him without further hesitation, his tongue swept inside, drinking her in like a deprived, parched soul coming out of a desert. He nibbled her bottom lip, before soothing it with his tongue and delving back in deep to sup some more. He tasted of coffee, fudge and a hint of mint, and his soft, warm lips contradicted the hard planes beneath her hands. If the kiss last night had been sweet and made her think of fluffy clouds, falling leaves and angel wings, this kiss penetrated her soul and ripped her to the bare bones of staggering need, leaving her breathless and craving for something she was afraid to voice out. Although technically a virgin, she'd had her share of kisses, but never before had she been completely overwhelmed by a fierce need to take it further.

Claire gripped the material of his shirt as she shifted to get closer, extracting a deep groan to escape his lips. He pulled away and smiled, but not before he muttered a vicious curse.

He touched his forehead against hers, the intimacy and tenderness of the gesture surprising her, making her breath hitch. "Dinner tonight at my place?" he whispered.

She managed to find her voice, but the words came out a bit slurred as she stared at his lips. "I'd like that. What shall I bring?" she asked. She could feel the erratic beating of his heart, his laboured breathing fanning her face. 

"Bring something comfy to wear. Do ye like old movies?"

She nodded, smiling. Where has this man been hiding all her life? She imagined she'd like anything as long as they could do what they just did again. "What time shall I come?"

"Come as soon as possible."

"I'll be there."

He cupped her chin. "I cannae wait."

He gave her one last kiss before slowly easing away with a triumphant grin. The creasing at the corners of his eyes made her smile despite herself. He called Rollo to his side with a low whistle, and she watched as man and dog walked out of the living room with spring in their steps. And then just like that, they were gone. She hoped Annalise would come soon as she wanted to do some last-minute Christmas shopping of her own for her two new favourites in her life.

..........

Claire watched Annalise order their coffees from the counter. The village's only café was a popular place for afternoon tea, snacks and meeting up with friends. The radio hummed Christmas songs from the speakers, and scents of fresh scones and baked goods wafted in the air. The mismatched tables adorned with thistle flower arrangements cluttered the small space and gave it a homey and cosy feel. Decorated in purple and pale greens, the walls displayed colourfully painted arts on canvas made by local artists, making her vision blear a bit from the bright and unusual collection of hues. A group of four walked in, settled on the nearby table and greeted her with a smile like she was one of the locals. One thing she surmised -there were no outsiders in Broch Mordha because everyone belonged. She'd lived in London for five years, and in all that time, she didn't even know her neighbours' names nor did any of them said hello. Whereas Broch Mordha, although curious and inquisitive, its people embraced her and Annalise and encouraged them to mingle and participate in local activities. And in such a short time, the village and its people were already growing on her.

Annalise placed a cup of Americano in front of her and shrugged out of her peacoat and scarf. "So that's our Christmas shopping done. If we'd been in London that would have taken us the whole day."

Claire made a face as she sipped her coffee. "That's why we're never in London during the holidays. To escape the carnage. Even shopping in Inverness was a breeze."

"So you're all sorted then?"

"Uh-huh. I'll wrap the scented candle gift set for Mrs Fitz, and you can write the card."

"Deal." Annalise slipped onto the chair and rubbed her hands together. "I'm glad we're staying put until Three Kings. Saves me thinking about packing when we just got here. I was planning on suggesting it to you, but you beat me to it."

Claire laughed. "I can't believe you're actually happy missing Hogmanay in Edinburgh. You've always like to be in the middle of frenetic partying -Edinburgh style. What's changed?"

"We've seen it for two years in a row. Broch Mordha will be a refreshing variation. Anyway, change of subject. You haven't said much about your evening out with Jamie yesterday. So, spill! Does the carpet match the drapes?"

Claire narrowed her gaze at her friend's apparent glee in teasing her. "Don't start Annalise. Just because you're my best mate doesn't mean I'll kiss and tell. And to answer your question, how would I know?"

Annalise clucked her tongue. "I saw you sneaked into a lingerie shop while I was trying on some shoes. I'm pretty sure you weren't browsing unmentionables for Mrs Fitz."

"Flannel jammies!"

"What?"

"I bought a couple of flannel pyjamas!" Claire grabbed one of her shopping bags and flashed the red flannel pyjama set, leaving out the red lacy undies that she also bought at the bottom. It wasn't like she was lying to her friend, but Annalise didn't need to know everything. Besides, her friend hadn't told her much about what went on in Lallybroch last night with Willie. "It's movie night tonight. Jamie invited me for dinner at his place. I don't want to lounge in my jeans after eating. I thought I'd be more comfortable wearing these."

"Blimey! That Jamie is one sneaky Scot! That's really a really good set up for a romantic evening. "

Claire smiled. "I know, right?

Annalise leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table. "Jamie's really into you, you do know that don't you? It was all over his face last night, and he couldn't wait to get you alone. And you know what else? I like him, and he's nothing like those pretentious pricks you date in London."

Claire laughed. "You only like Jamie for me because you're nuts about Willie."

Her friend shrugged, her mouth twitching at the corner. "There's an element of that, I suppose, but I have a good sense for these things. You know, I do."

Claire rolled her eyes. "Yes, you're right. You do have a sense for these things."

Annalise shook her head and grinned. "Wow, Claire ...dinner with a man at his place in your jammies? And what ... you've only known him less than twenty-four hours? I hope Jamie realises he's making history here."

"He's different. And I really like him."

"Have you kissed?"

Claire nodded.

"Groped?"

"No!"

Her friend laughed when Claire's face went beet-red.

"What if he's the one?" Claire asked after a few seconds of silent contemplation.

Annalise's eyes softened. "If he's the one, we'll worry about it later. Baby steps, mind?"

Claire burst out laughing. "Good grief, look at me. I've just met Jamie, and already I'm thinking about the future! How pathetic is that? I'm acting like a schoolgirl."

"Claire, look at me." Claire looked at Annalise. "The age-old question ...how long does it take to fall in love? A day? A week? A year? A lifetime? Here's my take. When the stars align, the universe will conspire to make love happen, and there will be no warning signs, and there's nought you can do about it. You will fall into love like you're being pushed from a highrise building. There'll be no time to think about what's happening. None at all. It's inevitable. It's something you will have no control of. It's a crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course, whether you chose to ignore it or not, fight it or not. So, take my advise and don't brace yourself too much for what's coming because some sharp turns might be jarring; otherwise, all you'll get out of it is a sore neck and probably a migraine to boot. Just let go and enjoy the ride and who knows, there might be a surprise waiting for you just around the corner. After all, it's the most wonderful time of the year." And then Annalise winked.

..........

After they'd arrived at their bed and breakfast cottage, Claire had floated into her bedroom, knowing there was a goofy smile plastered to her face. She'd wrapped up presents for Jamie and Rollo, written cards for some locals she'd come to know, and took her time shaving her legs, and washing her hair. Annalise had done the same, also lost in her own thoughts and occasionally saying a remark here and there. But Claire had been too preoccupied to listen.

After Annalise had left for a night out of bowling and dinner with Willie, she'd put on her new pyjamas, a long coat so no one in the street would notice what she was wearing underneath when she walked to Jamie's cottage and a pair of Ugg boots. All the while, her stomach did a mad flip-flopped, and she continually found herself staring into space, almost tripping on the way to Jamie's house.

Obviously, she hadn't finished staring into space because when Jamie opened the door after she'd knocked, sending her hurtling back to the present, she was speechless. Rollo dashed out of the house and circled her happily, jumping on her.

Jamie grinned and opened the door wider. "Sassenach! Get in here! We have a guest."

"Oh!?" I thought we're alone.

She pulled the coat tighter and patted Rollo's head. She remembered Annalise's word not to brace herself too hard, took a deep breath, relaxed and stepped into Jamie's house.

What she saw next, took her by surprise.

Dear Readers,

Sorry to leave you hanging here. If I hadn't, you would have had to wait longer for the instalment. And I needed really to publish this so I could start wrapping presents. So far, so good, I'm up to date with writing this story, Christmas preparations and life in general. So fingers crossed, I remain on track. 😀

Will keep this short and sweet, as I have plenty of other things I need to do. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and looking forward to your thoughts. Sending you best wishes and love and hope you're keeping healthy and safe. Take care for now. x

[tellywoodtrash]

Weekends are for watching truly trashy TV...

... (as opposed to irony-watching semi-trash) so this week I decided to forego my newest addiction Divya Drishti to binge the new AltBalaji show BOSS: Baap of Special Services.

[crowd yelling: “... But TT you’re always going on about not caring for KSG! You’re adamant about it and battle anon wank on the topic! How could you possibly......?????”]

Well kids, all I can say is don’t try to put me in a box. For all my highfalutin media snobbery, there’s also that side of me which has watched KRK’s Deshdrohi multiple times. (Only to discover that one of my college-mates was an extra in the songs. True story, mummy kasam.) I honest-to-god have a favt. movie featuring Sonu Nigam as an "actor". No, not the cult classic Jaani Dushman, but the equally noteworthy Love In Nepal. Which I have also seen multiple times, because the amount of cheap kicks I get from Sonu's ridiculous hamming is indescribable. Anyway, I’m trash for the professional-couple-with-opposing-personalities trope (especially in the field of law enforcement), and was majorly missing B99 (HOW LONG TILL THE NEXT SEASON GODDAMNIT?????)/Krishna Arjun (WHY WON’T YOU JUST PUT IT UP ALREADY, HOTSTAR?????????) so I decided to scratch the itch with this. (Also this blasted weather has brought an influx of mutant mosquitoes into my house, so watching this was also an attempt to keep my mind off those literal itches. I'm not an NRI anymore, but my body hasn't gotten the memo yet and continues to overreact to every bug bite.)

Plot:

It was pretty much what I expected from the trailer; a middling crime/mystery series with occasional moments of the mildest intrigue. It has a ‘case of the episode’ format, with each resolution sorta feeding into the larger mystery driving the plot. The smaller cases are completely unremarkable; always a murder (I used to think Shimla was a chill place with relatively low crime rates? Apparently not; in this show's universe the murdering is so bad, a whole special task force has to be formed - with like, national-level shooting champions and imported super-cops from other states.) The bigger mystery is the only compelling part of the show, keeping me invested to watch till the end. I wouldn't say it had a completely satisfying wrap-up (a too-tidily ghusaaya hua culprit and motive in the end; not to mention loose ends that just went nowhere. For eg. they introduce - never show - a character that the lead has been obsessing about for months now and goes to great lengths to track down, only to be casually told that he died a few months ago. And like...... nothing. We just move on, zero frustration.) but at least it brought like 2.67% complexity to the main lead beyond “Satyromanic Sherlock”.

A more appropriate name for the show would have been BOSH: Baap of Sexual Harassment, coz KSG's character spends most of his screentime leering at the nearest adult woman and propositioning her with the most unimaginatively sexist innuendo. Said woman (other than our stern female lead, of course) is so bowled over that she’s immediately willing to get it on with him on closest stable surface that can support the weight of 2 people. Each episode has on an average of 2-3 utterly tacky and tasteless sex scenes which I promptly forwarded the fuck through. Everyone knows I'm a tharki of the first order, so you can guess just how distasteful they were to get ME to do that. (Does KSG have some kinda clause in his non primetime-TV contracts that he must be given scenes to paw at a woman in the most unattractive manner?) The reaction to all this nonsense is always smirky admiration from the other men, and disgust from female lead. Except for when he puts the moves on her in later eps; then she reacts with coy exasperation. I cannot (yet somehow also can - because we truly do live in the darkest timeline) believe something like this got made and released in the #MeToo era? Forget #MeToo, the leads more than once wake up with the people in bed next to them murdered, and it has like zero legal repercussions beyond a withering glare, so THAT's the kinda universe we're operating in.

Cast:

KSG‘s made 'charming haraami with/without heart of gold’ his go-to role over the years now, so this is right in his wheelhouse. I've seen him give a waaaay more compelling performance in QH so eh... Can't say I was too impressed with him here. This was just Law Enforcement Armaan. An errant man-child doing whatever the fuck he wants and getting by in life thanks to conventional attractiveness. His facial hair situation is also very distracting; the continuity lapses rivaling Iqra Aziz's hair in SC2.

I haven't watched Sagarika Ghatge in anything other than Chak De, so I'm genuinely wondering: is she capable of anything other than ‘sullen girl who's constantly making an annoyed/perplexed face’? Her face occasionally relaxes into a wry smirk, but other than that, she could be Captain Holt's Desi Spirit Daughter. I couldn't quite tell if it's the stereotypical role of ‘female cop who has to be a strict stickler to be taken seriously in a male-dominated profession’, or if she just doesn't have the range. Maybe it's both? It’s probably both.

Gaurav Gera shows up as a sidekick to KSG - some kinda "hacker" who regularly comes to school the police's cyber-crime head - because she's a woman, how could she possibly be the authority on tech stuff? Anything that keeps him from making more of those dumb "shopkeeper" vids is a good thing in my book, I guess. Sagarika's character has two sidekicks - who contribute nothing to the investigation part, they just serve as muscle who chase the fleeing suspects and haul them into the police van. Ayaz Khan toh I suspect just took the role to get to hang out with best bro KSG in Shimla for a few days, coz his character is an undistinctive personality-less blob. The sidekick cop who's not Ayaz (aforementioned shooting champion) looked super familiar; it took me like 3 episodes to realize it's the dude who plays Komolika's deranged brother in KZK these days. The insta clips of him constantly attacking one Sharma sister or another is where I knew him from. He plays his character with some bright-eyed earnestness and is mostly tolerable, if completely forgettable.

Minor bright spot(s): Mishal Raheja as a grey character! Now there's the charming haraami I'd want to watch a whole show about! Also Daljiet Kaur in a tiny but important role; kind of a chilling AU version of Anjali from IPK, if she didn't have Arnav in her life to balance out her constantly-teteering-on-the-brink waala mental instability.

Overall Impression:

Lol, I can't recommend it or anything, but if you miss watching the OG 1990s/2000s-era episodes of CID, but with a 400% more cringeyass sexual situations straight out of soft porn, I guess you can go for it? Pretty sure it's no more a waste of time than the newest Bhai movie that's released on Prime.

[kiruuuuu]

Oneshot in which pure chaos happens. There’s some Blitz/Rook and a tiny bit of Doc/Jäger and Monty/Bandit but they’re certainly not the main focus of the story - which is, as I said, chaos. So, uh. Good luck. (Rating T, nothing but humour, ~2.5k words) - written for @magehir to cheer you up and cheer you on ❤ You’ve survived thus far, you can make it another year!

.

It’s odd, coming back to Hereford after an extended vacation. Over the years, Blitz has accepted several places as his home, among them his parents’ house, the apartments in which he lived, the GSG9 headquarters, the base of the CTU in India he helped build from the ground up (which he just visited) and now he apparently needs to add Hereford to that list – because even while just approaching the familiar structures, he can feel the corners of his mouth lifting in anticipation. He’s heard from Bandit that most operators are off-duty today following an unfortunate incident which was not further described to him mostly because Bandit was laughing too hard. Apparently it involved large amounts of food dye, flour and hair dryers and made a lot of people very upset.

On the upside, this means that Blitz has the chance to catch up with everyone and see how they’re faring – he’s been gone for three weeks now and actually missed his co-workers, as odd as it sounds. With how much time they spend together, he’s come to know all of them to a certain degree where he feels comfortable in their presence, happy to know they have his back no matter what. Therefore, when he steps through the door into the building, he’s not prepared to be confronted with Fuze in a dress first thing.

They make brief eye contact before Blitz stops in his tracks to take in the entire disaster, the pale orange sundress fluttering behind the Uzbek as he stomps through the hallway with purpose, matching shoes dangling from his fingers and hot pink lipstick smeared as he fixes the newly arrived German with a short death glare as if he personally was responsible for his outfit. As he stalks past, he mutters a quiet kill me before leaving. Blitz stares after him, aghast, until a different noise catches his attention and shifts it from what he’s pretty sure must’ve been a hallucination to the nearest corner.

Kapkan seems to be leading his countrymen after Fuze while babbling in animated yet quite noticeably slurred Russian though he freezes comically as soon as he spots Blitz, the other three almost crashing into him and also stilling as if Blitz’ vision was based on movement and them being glued to the spot somehow allowed them to escape the German’s anticipated wrath – that’s what they seem to expect of him, going by Kapkan’s quiet curse, followed by a stage whispered: “It’s the police!” The bright pink lip print on his cheek only furthers the deranged look of the small group’s leader.

Blitz is beginning to wonder whether the Spetsnaz stole some of Bandit’s special brownies. “What is -”

“Scatter!”, Finka yells out of the blue and just like that, the Russians attempt to run off into different directions which only Tachanka and Glaz manage – Kapkan and Finka collide forcefully and collapse to the ground in a violently cursing heap, quite clearly assigning the blame to each other.

Thoroughly concerned now, Blitz approaches them and asks: “What’s going on? Are you alright?”

“No! He fucking won Miss Russia and he’s not even Russian!”, Kapkan spits back inexplicably, gets up and dusts himself off.

“You know he looked better in that bathing suit than you did, Maxim”, Finka addresses him with a saucy wink and then hurries after him when he merely huffs and, with a dramatic hair toss, struts away.

Blitz is dumbstruck. Maybe he’s in the twilight zone. Maybe that’s what’s going on. Shaking his head, he steps into the canteen to hopefully find some normalcy elsewhere. At first glance, it seems the few people scattered around the tables are having a relaxed though late lunch, yet when he looks a tad more closely, everyone’s eyes flit back and forth from their conversation partner to two women occupying the kitchen.

“Would you like some more coffee, dear sister?”, Ela chirps pleasantly.

“Oh, thank you so much for being this observant, I’d love to!”, Zofia replies just as politely.

Horrified, Blitz watches as the two fawn over each other in a sickly sweet tone of voice he usually hears Thatcher apply when a recruit is in Big Trouble – these two, however, seem intent on keeping up their charade at all costs. He thinks he can see Ela grit her teeth even at this distance. As there’s no explanation for this either, he turns on his heel and continues his search for something or someone who can restore or at least feign the status quo. At this point, he’d pick Bandit being his usual shithead self over everything he’s come across so far because his entire world view is crumbling and being insulted as well as kicked in the shins actually sounds quite appealing to him now.

Filled with despair, he seeks out Bandit’s usual spots but comes up empty until he finally spots him in the workshop. Even so, seeing him almost makes Blitz leave immediately because – because Bandit’s smiling. Not a smirk full of schadenfreude, no malicious grin or a chuckle full of pity, none of the sort, it’s a genuine, bright, beautiful smile. Blitz considers briefly whether he’s high but concludes that the amount necessary to lighten Bandit’s mood to a point where he’d consider smiling to be a sensible course of action would likely kill him first, so he approaches cautiously. “Hey”, he says.

Bandit and Montagne turn to him with matching expressions of authentic joy and Blitz is briefly reminded of any twins appearing in horror films he now regrets ever having watched. “Elias, it’s so good to see you!”, Montagne greets him and Bandit adds: “How are you? I hope you’re well!”

He blinks at what can only be a mirage and fights down the urge to reach out and test whether his fingers would just glide through the seemingly solid men. “I’m a little shaken”, he admits and finds no shame in hearing his voice waver, “and I’d appreciate it if either of you could pinch me.”

The two exchange a glance as if Blitz was the one behaving oddly. “Are you alright, friend?”, Bandit wants to know without any sarcasm or instantly jumping at the chance to cause him physical harm and no. Just no. This is – this is too odd.

As soon as he’s fled the workshop in a panic, he goes over the possibilities: they’ve all gone insane. Blitz has gone insane. Some unknown entity has infiltrated Rainbow and substituted all its operators with outwardly perfect copies yet failed to make them understand how their originals behaved. This seems to be the likeliest option from everything he’s seen and if he’s honest, he’s beginning to wish he was back in India where life was uncomplicated and not filled with obviously impossible scenarios.

For now, he decides to unpack his things in his room and possibly go to sleep at two in the afternoon, being able to blame it on jetlag and hoping everything is back to how it used to be when he’s awake again. Still vaguely dazed, he opens his door and comes face to face with – well, he’s not sure how to accurately describe it as Jäger and Doc are so wrapped around each other that it’s hard to tell who is inside whom and with which body part exactly and Jesus Christ. Slapping a hand over his eyes, he yells: “That’s my damn bed, Marius!!”

“Oh”, says Doc in soft astonishment. “You’re back today already.”

“Could you two maybe -” A throaty moan interrupts him momentarily. “At least stop while I’m talking to you!”

“We’re almost done”, Jäger responds pleasantly and the following noises are even audible after Blitz has slammed the door shut behind him.

Okay. So there’s no place that’s sacred and no one who’s unaffected, apparently, which means he should either try to find out whether their boss at least has escaped this – whatever it is, or run for the hills. Maybe the SAS would accept him into their ranks. Then a thought occurs to him. If everyone is behaving oddly, it means…

Rook seems normal, from what he can tell. He’s wearing his usual cheerful expression and doing that eager nod Blitz finds so endearing, and seeing him is a relief. He missed the young Frenchman but despite this wasn’t sure whether contacting him during his leave could be misconstrued in a way – he doesn’t want to seem needy or pushy, so he opted for deciding that their long talks short before he left indicated no more than friendship and is now looking forward to continuing them to possibly cement this friendship. Approaching him with a heart made lighter by his presence only, he’s about to address him when he belatedly realises to whom he’s talking. It’s Lion of all people. And the two are both making friendly conversation.

Dumbfounded, he hears himself say: “Can someone just fucking pinch me?”

The next thing he knows is a sharp pain in his cheek, right where Rook slapped him with enough force to knock his head aside and make him stumble, courtesy as much of the blow itself as its unexpected nature. He doesn’t even get a chance to react or begin processing the shock before Rook takes his head in both hands and murmurs: “Oh fuck oh shit oh no, are you alright? I’m – that wasn’t – I’m so sorry, please believe me, I have no idea where that came from, oh god, did I hurt you?”

Blitz blinks the tears away forming in his eyes from the dull, throbbing ache in his probably crimson cheek and, like a true liar, shakes his head. “No, I’m fine”, he replies quietly, stunned, “that was – I mean, at least now I know I’m not dreaming because that hurt like hell.”

“I really didn’t mean to, I’m very sorry”, Rook assures him, guilt clearly written on his face and bleeding through the gentle touches of him petting Blitz’ hair as if he was an upset dog.

“You really were ready for that slap though”, Lion comments and sounds entirely too amused.

“Look -”, Rook starts but Blitz shakes his head and talks over him: “I think I should see Seamus.”

Sledge, indubitably, is an immovable rock in Rainbow’s endless tides of madness: reliable, always professional and nothing but competent. Surely, he’ll know what’s going on and be able to shed some light on the various horrors Blitz has encountered, none of which he’s been able to process so far. Hopeful that this bastion of normalcy has withstood whatever devastated the rest of the base, Blitz knocks on the door to his office and enters after being called in.

Sledge is blue.

Wordlessly, Blitz turns around and is halfway out the door again when a deep sigh and a small wait hold him back. “I’m sure Dom told you of his hilarious prank.”

Oh. He remembers – extremely potent food dye. Hesitantly, he takes a seat opposite of someone who looks like an unfortunate extra in the world’s first live action smurf film. “I think I fell into an alternate dimension”, Blitz states matter-of-factly. When Sledge merely raises an eyebrow, Blitz recounts his experiences one by one and notes how the grin on the Scotsman’s lips widens progressively.

“There are perfectly reasonable explanations for most of this. Alex offered to provide lunch for his team today but didn’t have any cooking wine, so he used, uh, Adriano’s Absinthe. Which as you probably know has about 60% more alcohol content than wine.”

“That must’ve tasted revolting.”

“It did. They loved it. The result was a spontaneously staged Miss Russia contest in which Lera was the only judge, ironically. You got to see the aftermath, I’m afraid.”

Blitz puts his head into his hands.

“Ela and Zofia have a bet going with James about how long they can be nice to each other. And if you ask me, everyone’s hoping for him to win because that’d mean they can stop treading on eggshells around the two sisters as they’re bound to explode any minute and no one particularly wants to be around them when they do – but it’s better than the fight over the prize money should they actually win.”

“They did seem ready to rip each other’s heads off, yeah.”

“If you asked me, I’d say this only widens the rift between them. But no one asked me. And so I’m only going to make sure I’ll be far away when it eventually happens.”

“What about Dom? I’ve never seen him so -”

“He’s got the biggest crush I’ve ever seen on Gilles.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish I was. He’s been all smiles and it’s freaking everyone out to the point where I feel I should intervene but I can hardly tell him to fall out of love. The other day Mark walked past him three times and not once did Dom try to trip him. It’s a miracle.”

Blitz doesn’t even know how to react to this because it’s utterly absurd.

“In any case, since Julien often hung around with Dom when you weren’t around and Olivier could be usually found in Gilles’ presence, they’ve both been robbed of their confidant and therefore have started talking to each other.”

“You say this as if it was nothing.”

“It is nothing. They’ve overcome their differences and found shared interests.”

“What about Doc and Marius then?”

Sledge purses his lips pensively. “I have no idea, to be honest. I thought they were just friends and I’m still convinced they’re no more than that. Why they would – do what you, uh, tried to describe them doing, is beyond me. Maybe they were both feeling horny. It’s not unheard of that two guys help each other now and then, right?” Helplessly, Blitz just shrugs and tries to parse all this new information. “Is that all?”

“Well, I don’t think it falls under ‘strange’, because it seemed like an accident, but Julien slapped me. I might’ve asked him to pinch me but he -”

“I’m not surprised. You did tell him you liked him too before you left and then proceeded to ignore him for three weeks. I think he has all reason to be miffed.”

Oh. Blitz’ eyes widen. Oh. Oh fuck oh shit oh no. He thought it was – it was meant in a friendly way, not – “I need to go”, he tells Sledge hurriedly but turns around once more before running out of the office: “Please never go on vacation. Please never leave me alone for this long.”

And Sledge just casually inspects his really quite blue hands and replies calmly: “Oh, I don’t know. A drawn-out holiday doesn’t sound too bad, actually.”

[kpopyourcherryy]

Mayday - ii

Genre; horror and a tiny little bit of angst I suppose idek

Length; 1,300+ words

!!!WARNINGS; OBSESSION, STALKING, DEATH, BLOOD, ETC!!!

Jackson’s P.O.V.

As the days dragged on, he carefully watched you. He’d focus solely on you as you laughed, smiled, or did anything really. And the fact that Mark moved you in last week made his job that much simpler. He didnt have to sneak out and watch you from afar like he had to previously, all he had to do now was sit next to you- it was as easy as that.

You were his entire universe. You were his princess, and whether you knew it or now…he was going to be your knight in shining armor. He silently vowed to take you away from here; away from the noisy, judgmental city, to an oasis where he could have you all to himself. Yes, all too himself. That’s exactly all he found himself thinking about as he sat there at the edge of his bed, staring down at his phone…at pictures he snapped of you while you slept, while you cooked or cleaned, and even a few of you changing.

Rubbing his thumb across your picture, his lips curled up in an innocent yet twisted smile. “You’re so beautiful my love… So, so beautiful..” He whispered to himself, licking his lips as he gawked at you vulnerable form.

He began to daydream about the day you’d finally be his again, but suddenly was knocked right back into reality by the sound of the microwave beeping followed by the scent of freshly made popcorn.

“Jackson!” Mark shouted from the living room, “Come watch a movie with me and y/n!”

Just hearing his voice now gave him a massive migraine. His entire being ached just thinking about the way he touched you; the way he got to hold you. “Act normal…” He thought to himself as he rubbed his temples, “She’ll be mine soon..”

Immediately he put on his normal, happy go lucky facade. His lips curled up in a bright smile as his emotionless eyes seemed to finally have some life in them, “Coming Hyung!” He cheerfully replied, standing from his seat then leaving his room.

Y/N P.O.V.

You sat there on the black faux leather couch, curled up in Mark’s arms while being sandwiched between both men. Turning to Jackson, you noticed something peculiar about him- he was different somehow, but you just couldn’t figure out what made him seem so off. “Jackson?” You said softly as you interlaced your fingers with Mark’s. 

Jackson turned to you, but his aura wasn’t the same as it used to be; something about him now made your body run cold. He stared at you with this intense icy look in his eyes, “Yes?” He replied, even his tone was off. 

Gulping anxiously you scooted yourself closer to Mark, then quickly peered up at him only to find him asleep, “I- I uh..” You stuttered as you turned back to the TV, “It’s nothing..” 

“What’s wrong y/n?” Jackson asked his lips curled up in a twisted grin, a spine chilling chuckle flowing out of him as he rested one of his hands on your leg. 

You shook your head, slowly facing him once more- painting a false smile on your face, “Oh- It’s nothing, this… this movie’s just freaking me out a little is all..” A nervous quick chuckle flowed out of you, 

“I’m going to get another drink..” You blurted out, standing almost immediately after, “D- Do you want anything?” 

He just pressed his lips together, “Not uh..” He finally replied as he shook his head. 

You found yourself speechless; you didn’t have a thing to say so you just made your way to the kitchen. 

As you went to grab a bag of hot cheetos from the pantry all kinds of things ran through your mind- you just couldn’t figure out what made you feel so uneasy, never once had he made this way before..so what changed?

It was already easy for you to get lost in your thoughts doing simple tasks, and the fact that you had such an awful feeling around someone you considered your best friend made you even more susceptible to drowning yourself in your own mind. 

You were probably standing there in front of the stove for a good minute or so until the sound of footsteps and soft laughter beside you slapped you back into reality. You felt his strong arms tightly snake around your waist, “Uh wha- what are you doing?” 

“Finally claiming what’s mine..” He replied, next thing you knew his lips were pressed on your shoulder and immediately you attempting to escape his grasp. You couldn’t shake him though, his arms only held you tighter..closer to him. “Don’t fight it, y/n… just accept that you’re mine, now that Mark’s not in the way.” 

Immediately panic set in the moment you heard those spine chilling words. “Let me go!” You shouted, elbowing him in his ribs the sharp blow finally forced him to release you.

The moment you turned to face him your eyes widened and your body turned cold, fear took over immediately. His face was splattered with sporadic red spots that you hoped to god was paint, but you knew damn well it wasn’t. His once pure white shirt was soaked in the substance and this crooked smile was painted on his emotionless face as he tightly held onto a large blood covered knife.

Tilting his head to the side, a demented giggle flowed out of him. “What’s the matter sweetheart?” He asked as if nothing at all was wrong, as if he wasn’t covered in blood.

For a moment you stood there frozen, dread washed through you as you stared at the unhinged man that stood before you. “M- Mark?!” You shakily called out to your boyfriend, a few seconds passed and nothing. Nothing but pure silence. 

Pushing passed Jackson, you went straight for the couch- automatically stopping in your tracks when your eyes laid upon the horror scene that was sprawled out before you. 

“M…Mark..” Tears formed in the corners of your eyes, streaming down your cheeks as you rushed over to his limp, mangled, blood covered body. “N- No please..” You whimpered as you held his hand, sinking down onto the blood splattered floor.

Your mind was everywhere and nowhere all at once, you felt so empty yet it hurt so much. “This has- This has to be a dream…” You softly said to yourself, sobbing as you clung on his body, praying to the god you didn’t believe in that he’d wake up and this would all just be some dumb overdone prank. 

Suddenly Jackson appeared next to you, sitting on his knees as he moved stray strands of hair away from your face. You slowing turned to face him, only to be met with that deranged crooked smile and dark yet detached gaze of his. 

Just as you opened your mouth to speak everything became black.

…

“Y/n, y/n, baabbeee.” You heard a familiar soothing voice call out to you as they shook your body. Your eyes slowly opened only to be greeted by your boyfriends bright smile. “Wake up silly girl..” He teased, that precious giggle of yours calming your distraught mind. 

“I was- I was asleep?” You asked, still semi-confused by it all. Everything had felt so real, but it was all a dream? Though you were grateful it wasn’t real and that your boyfriend was fine, something still felt…off.

Mark nodded, pressing his plush lips together in a soft grin as he lovingly stared down at you, “You fell asleep half way through the movie.” He motioned over to the screen of the TV still playing the credits. “Jackson was tired so he just went to his room. We should go to bed babe.” 

A weak smile appeared on your exhausted face, you ran your fingers through your slightly tangled hair sighing heavily as you looked around the room and most importantly at your boyfriend. “Yeah… Let’s go to bed, I feel awful, I guess I’m still tired.” You replied following it up with a faint, nervous chuckle as you slowly stood from your spot on the couch. 

Jackson- Just hearing his name made you feel as if you had this knot in your stomach; the same uneasiness you felt in your dream returned, as the two of you passed his room, washed over you though you tried your hardest to shake it off because after all it was just a dream, it couldn’t possibly happened in real life…right?

…To Be Continued…

[lemoonthetwink]

Rime portrait for my fellows Rime enjoyer :D

[lemoonthetwink]

GIMME MORE RIME BEFORE HE DIED PLSSS

I'm head over heels for him, I wish we could have known him before his death, but I still love the current Rime, but sometimes I want tenderness instead of murder thoughts lol

No but really I need to know all the life of all the characters in LL, I need to see the deepest of their life

Still love our deranged deer man hehe