#i love that last pic for some unknown reason

[endlessthxxghts]

Time of The Month

New boyfriend!Frankie Morales x afab!gn!reader

Summary: You had a date planned tonight, but your monthly visitor makes an early appearance, wreaking bloody havoc on your plans. W/C: 1k (wow, I'm sticking to my celebration rules for once?) Content warnings: Pics are for aesthetic purposes only!! Mature content, but purely fluff and comfort! Mention of reader having period, but no use of any pronouns or physical or feminine descriptors. Santi gets mentioned! Frankie calls you "cariño" and "baby." Some kissing. Honestly, I think that's it! Please let me know if I missed anything. BLOG RULES MAKE THIS 18+! MDNI.

A/N: This is my response to this request made by @sawymredfox in regard to my 1k follower celebration! I hope this gives you all the fluff and comfort you were hoping for!🥹 Also, shoutout to @javierpena-inatacvest for picking out the pictures above — it matches the comfort vibe perfectly. Thank you, bestie, I love you.💚 Anywho, I hope you enjoy. I'd love to hear what ya guys think. All my love. Xx

MASTERLIST || L'S 1K CELEBRATION

You and Frankie have been seeing each other, officially, for a few months now. And even though you two were friends for a little bit of time before that, there was still a charge of attraction then. So, really, your entire relationship started in the talking stage. So, yeah, your guys’ relationship is relatively new, which is why he’s shaking like a leaf at the prospect of letting himself into your home without you giving him the approval to do so—even if you told him so many times before that it was okay. But when you didn’t answer your phone for the third time in a row, he knew something was off, especially since you two had a little date planned in a few hours. 

Putting in the code to your garage—no, he doesn’t have a key…yet—he makes his way through, hitting the button inside to watch it fall shut before he actually enters your home. He’s met with complete silence: all lights off, the television off, no sign of life anywhere. 

He calls out your name, voice filled with anxiety. A beat passes, and no answer. He walks deeper inside, slowly making his way to the living room. “Cariño?” He calls out. Still, no answer. He really doesn’t want to invade your privacy like this, but part of him can’t just sit in the unknown. Not when his partner is the most communicative person he’s ever met in his life. No, something is really wrong. 

He makes his way to your bedroom. The door is shut, but not all the way—enough for Frankie to see your dimly lit space and smell a plethora of essential oils coming from your room. He gives your door a slight knock before entering, and the view he’s met with sends him in absolute shambles. You’re curled up in your bed, fetal position, cocooned in a thick blanket, and your arms are wrapped around something—holding it tight to your lower belly. A heating pad, he thinks. 

Your bedside table houses a glass of water, some painkillers, and some chocolate. Then, it clicks. 

You’re on your period. 

It’s not like Frankie has never experienced a person being on their period before, and it’s not like he hasn’t seen you on your period before (just last month—duh!). But he has never seen you like this. So weak and fragile. So in pain. God, he hates seeing you in any kind of pain. He would take it all away if he could. 

The only reason he’s nervous is because he knows every person who gets their period is different; their needs are different. Unique. Some prefer the warm embrace of another at all times, others prefer complete solitude. Frankie was still learning what you were like during your time of the month, and he just wants to be as accommodating as possible for you. He doesn’t want to make you upset, ever, and definitely not when you’re in such a vulnerable state—ready to either cry or rip him a new asshole. Whatever he would have to experience, though, he would endure it, for you. 

Scooting closer to the side of the bed you’re laying on, he slowly kneels, his broad hand feeling your forehead. Warm and a slight layer of sweat from your cocoon and your heat pack. You stir at his touch. “Cariño,” he whispers, trying to get you aware of his presence. 

Your eyebrows furrow, a little pout forming, not wanting to wake up. Frankie softly laughs to himself. He brings his face closer to yours, placing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Baby,” he says a little louder this time, still unbelievably gentle. 

One eye slowly peels open, the other following suit. “Frankie?” you say with uncertainty, your voice thick with sleep. Your hand leaves its hold on your heat pack to rub the fatigue out of your eyes. 

“Hi, honey,” he whispers, his thumb mindlessly caressing your face wherever he can reach. 

“B-baby, what are you doing here? I-” you gasp. “Oh, fuck! Baby!” You immediately rip the blanket off of you, scrambling to get yourself to sit up. “Baby, our date! What time is it? I must’ve fallen asleep- I- I’m sor-”

Standing a little taller now on one knee, Frankie stands between your legs, both his hands finding their homes on your cheeks, pulling you to look at him—to ground you. He kisses your nose, a soft say of your name to get your attention. 

“Cariño, breathe, it’s okay, we’re okay,” he says softly. “We planned for 7, baby, it’s 5:30.”

He feels your body start to relax, a soft sigh of relief fanning his cheeks. “Oh,” you whisper.

“The question is, though,” he asks, one hand leaving your cheek to rest across your lower belly. “Do you feel okay enough to even leave the house?”

You track his hand before you meet his eyes. “...not really,” you admit. 

“That’s oka-”

Cutting him off with a thick sigh, “I’m so sorry, baby, I just ruined tonight. My period has been wonky lately. I was supposed to start tomorrow, but it ended up being a murder scene a few hours ago, and I’ve been in pain ever since. I didn’t even realize how hard I knocked out-”

He pulls your face into his, your lips meeting each other in a soft embrace, stopping your brain from the 5k marathon it was currently running. He pulls away, your cheeks completely hot under his gaze, Frankie mirroring your bashfulness. “I- I’m sorry, I just-” he lets out a breathy laugh. “I don’t need you overthinking with me, cariño. I promise it’s okay. As long as I’m with you, I really don’t care what we’re doing. Okay?”

“Okay,” you respond, eyes tearing up at how sweet your boyfriend is. 

“I just want you. I just need you. Nothing else,” he angles your head down to kiss your forehead. “Now what’s my baby craving? I’ll go get it.”

“No-” you immediately reply, clearing your throat to suppress your eager response. “No… just. I don’t want you to leave me.” You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling his kneeling form flush against your sitting one. 

“Okay, baby. I’ll just get it delivered then. Pretty sure Santi isn’t doing anything besides being an asshole,” he says, laughing into your neck. “Wanna bother him?”

“Fuck yeah,” you laugh. Frankie beams at the sound. 

“¿Qué quieres comer?” What do you want to eat? 

“Mmm, can we get…” you trail off, a little shy to indulge. He’s probably hungry and wanting a real meal like what your original plan was for, but here you are, craving nothing but junk and snacks to satiate you tonight. 

“Hm? Fries and a chocolate frosty? You want pickles, too, huh? Maybe some mashed potatoes?”

Oh my God. You’re going to fucking marry this man. 

“…yes.” 

Frankie pulls away from you with a smirk, reaching for his phone to dial up Santi. 

Huh. Maybe he already does know you—especially during this time of the month. 

End note - I hope this was okay!🥹 There are a few more requests for me to do as part of my celebration!! I'm sorry if it seems like I'm dragging them out lol! Not my intention at all, just trying to balance my excitement with the neediness of school😩 lolol but anyway, I love you all SO MUCH thank you for your endless love.💚

[cussima]

i shifted accidentally for the first time last night 😭

it wasn't my first time shifting, but it was my first time shifting on accident to a reality completely unknown to me 😭 Anyway here's that (long, quite detailed) story time !! (with reaction pics of course 😋)

i was so tired last night, and i had to wake up at 7AM today, i wanted my mind to be quiet so i could fall asleep easily and not have any vivid/random dreams (they make it so i can't rest well)

my subconscious with a different plan:

i remember being asleep here, lying on my bed and the darkness of my room, and all of the sudden i was standing in front of a white haired professor in a school in JAPAN !!!

now I don't have any japanese drs, or am close to anything japanese for that matter (i dont watch anime, etc etc) i think maybe i thought how i'd like to go to a tokyo grand prix for five seconds yesterday but that was it 😭 there was absolutely no reason for me to have woken up in a different country AND AT A SCHOOL !! for that matter like i genuinely have no idea what happened.

ANYWAYS...

the professor just talked about how i was new and my professors, and classmates, and all (i don't remember exactly what he said but when i woke up i knew it was an introductory "welcome to this school talk) and sent me to a classroom where i got way too worked up about a sexist mf, i kinda yelled at him for being sexist and the shit he was saying.

(i didn't YELL i confronted him and told him his ideology was stupid and might've given him (thrown...ish) some stuff to him but it was on topic i promise it was more like i landed him... some trash... like i put it at his feet for him to pick up okay, let's move on)

then i left that class !! but it was just as other classes were about to begin and another guy that had been in that class with me dragged me into another classroom because he had liked me (he didn't say it but he was rlly nice to me so i assumed he liked me) (liked me as in yk he didn't hate me after the whole class confrontation, i just had so he wasn't as bad as that other mf !!, im not saying he fell in love w me just in case anybody gets confused) (also the classroom wasn't empty he just had another class and dragged me along with him)

in that classroom he told me to put my hood on (i was wearing a black cotton jacket with a hood on it, we didn't have uniforms) and to not draw too much attention to myself (it was an all boys class, so if the professor found out im a girl she would've kicked me out and tbh idk what i would've done 😔)

and then the teacher came in, (i wanna describe her bc she was sooo,,, teacher core LMAO she had a big nose, glasses, red hair up, burgundy sweater and a white sort of lab coat thingy) introduced the class, and said she was going to play a movie, closed the class curtains and that's when i started remembering i had shifted here.

she played the movie (looking back at it now, i think they might've picked up from where they had left off in a previous class)

it was a movie with rupert grint where he was an adult and he had discovered like a magical realm, i remember i thought of harry potter (bc of rupert) and knowing that had never existed there, he had never been ron. There was also a blonde woman (gorgeous long blonde hair kinda looked like tilda swinton) and a little girl that was somehow related to Rupert's character.

I realized that movie didn't exist in this reality and that's when I sort of began panicking and remembered i had Actually shifted there

I decided to check my 5 senses but then I realized I don't know the steps to do it....

like i have to 5 what 4 what 3 what 2 what 1 what

so i just touched the desk where i was sitting, i touched the paper from the boy's notebooks and more stuff i can't remember, i remember wanting to touch the pencils inside the pencilcases but I couldn't be loud + those weren't mine !! and then i breathed in a couple times

and then i opened my eyes here again

now I know that stuff really doesn't work for me it just brings me back to my dr, because im just trying to remember what the tiktok i saw on this reality about the 5 senses method said 😭

ALSO !!

something i didn't mention is that when I walked into the second classroom, i got nervous when i realized it was an all boys class. I don't know what the class was on, i was looking around frantically, the curtains surprised me they were dark and i had never seen dark gray curtains in a classroom (what a stupid culture shock 😭)

when the teacher came in i put my hair on my eyes to FAKE A FRINGE !!! I didn't listen to her at all when she began the class, and then another guy with big blue eyes was mouthing something to me and the boy behind me, the boy i was with said "he's deaf just read his lips"

MF I DON'T KNOW HOW TO READ LIPS ?!?

so now im nervous as fuck about not being able to read his lips and looking like an asshole that doesn't want to talk to deaf people

all while trying not to get kicked out of this class !!

it was A Lot of information to take in 😭 no wonder i shifted back i was being silly af

also THEN i shifted to a reality where my phone had barely charged (it had a decent amount of battery after i shifted, it went from 75% at 5AM when i woke up from my shift to 25% at 7AM)

[shuenkio]

Admire not from afar | Enha Hyung line

Paring: hyung-line x male!reader

Genre: Suggestive.

Cw: swearing, fantasize.

Pov: Co-workers having obsession admire at you.

Wc: 400+

Non proof read/ English is not my 1st lang.

Lhs: Nerdy-quite guy who would stalk your social media, having your face on his wallpaper, while bragging to his friends that you're his one and only boyfriend, even though it's not true.

 

It's getting out of hand when you realize that he's the one who left those unknown, randomly given gifts in your locker every single morning. Eventually you started to ignore and avoid him at all costs, to the point that when you went home from work one day, you found him there, sitting while crossing his leg as he lean against the wooden chair inside your apartment. 

 

"Hello, baby boy, I see you avoiding me, so I'd like to pay you a visit. How do you like that?" 

Pjs: Everyone praises him not because of his potential or talents in the workplace; it's because he's related to the CEO of the company. You hate people who are overpowered by their money and not their own work, so you're brave enough to say what comes to mind when they make a mistake. 

 

Finally, you just got yourself into trouble; however, since he liked you enough to spare your life, he had another plan. 

 

While going to the bathroom to wash your dirty hands, you suddenly feel a pair of hands grab your forearm before pulling you inside the bathroom stall, locking the door at instant. 

 

"You've been a really bad boy lately, Mn! How dumb are you to not realize I'm your crazy secret Santa? Now you're going to pay for your consequences, darling." 

Sjy: The happiest guy is everyone's lifesaver and lover. Whenever there's a problem in the company, he'll always be there to fix the issue using his sexy brain in a blink of an eye. As a new employee, you were impressed at how much the other workers liked him, and the answer is quite obvious. 

 

Little did you know, not all good guys are innocent and nice; Jake also had his dark side too. He likes to take advantage of new employees like you, and at the end of the day, he'll throw them out as if they were some pieces of used trash. 

 

Nevertheless, when he laid eyes on you, it seemed like he couldn't stop thinking about you; you're that special to make him head over heels for you that bad. 

 

Late at night, as you take the elevator to the ground floor, Jake is also in the elevator, and you never know what will happen. 

 

"Mn, you might think I'm all bright and amazing, but did you know that every time I see you, I love fantasizing about you being under me?" 

 

Psh: This guy was cold as ice; no wonder he's the best employee of the month almost every single time, despite how hard he's working alone. Regardless of being friends with him for so long, you still don't know his personal life, his daily routine, or his inside. You couldn't care much since you respect his decision to keep himself.

 

But the reason why he won't let you visit him at his apartment is because all your pictures that he's captured every chance he's gotten were pinned and spread all over his room like a crime detective investigation. Not only is he obsessed, he already had plan B if you said no to his confession one day. 

 

"I'd give up heaven if I had to make you mine, little man." 

 

🗣️ please mind my English! ><

🗣️Reblog and like is much appreciated ♥

🗣️ crd to all pics&dividers

🗣️ I can't imagine makenae line going to work like what 🤓 Anyway this is my last updated this week, since I have another exam next week, so I'll come back once I'm alive again!

[starrgirlella]

Lurking for love? More like lurking for LORE

Hi everyone! Just two days ago, I made some interesting discoveries about LFL by just digging around the website

I'm not sure if anyone else found this out so that's why I'm going to be sharing what I found because it's very interesting

This post is going to be pretty long lol and full of my rambling. If you're interested, please take a read! Do note that English isn't my first language so I may express myself a bit weird 😭

Also IK the screenshots are pretty shitty but I'm lazy oops

To start, I have a habit of checking the sinistershrike website along with the LFL itch.io game page. Why? Well I just like looking if there are any new updates (and its my hyperfixtation so I'm constantly looking for new content)-

And I noticed that on the sinistershrike website there was a new update which some of you may or may not saw.

In summary, the game is getting custom music, prounouns are getting removed so MC is going to be gender neutral and getting called only by their name and most interesting of all: a new main character is getting added, and they're going to be dateable!

Pretty interesting, right? I immediately got curious on who that character might be since they're going to cause drama and more mysteries.

But wait! I'm still not done, hehe

Afterwards, I was just randomly looking at Jacob Alden pics thru google. Again, why? Well, I don't know either lol. It's just a habit that I do when I'm bored and sometimes when I'm lucky, I come across new things.

And this time I was lucky!

So I scrolled down to the end of the results and I saw this post which caught my eye:

What's so interesting about it? Well the fact that the creators website is linked to it. Curious, I clicked on the link and was suprised at what I saw.

(Mind you I still dont know if I'm an idiot just finding this out or not...)

Basically, it's a site containing all info about Jacob! I got really excited when I saw it bc I LOVE learning all the facts about my favourite characters and finding new official content!

When I finished looking through it I noticed two things:

1. The website adress (is that what it's called? Im sorry english isn't my first language)

So when you look at the website adress you can notice how it's linked (basically an extension) to the creators webiste which is: sinistershrike.neocities.org

The thing is; you can't open Jacobs page on the creators site. Like yes, there is a tab which says CHARACTERS but if you click on it you'll get nothing but a scary looking Jacob. Which means to get to this page you have to type the adress in yourself.

So I'm assuming the creator is purposefully hiding this Jacob page (maybe because he wants to finish pages for all characters and more)

And here's the link if you want to take a look for yourself:

https://sinistershrike.neocities.org/character/jacob

2. At the end of the page, you have links to other characters made by the creator.

Not just lurking for love, but other ocs made by him!

Though, if you click on them, you'll get nothing. Maybe they're still being made? I'm not sure.

Now, when you look at the characters for LFL, it's very interesting because we now have info on Sarah's last name AND... an unknown character? Noah Vega.

At first, I was stunned. Who could this character be? Then I went back to the creators website and remembered the mention of a new character, can you see where I'm going?

Noah Vega must be the new character! He was never mentioned before; neither in the game nor in the creators deleted blogs.

And pretty quickly I found proof which helped my theory (I SOUND SO DUMB OMG)

Now going back to the website adress thing.

So I concluded that the Jacob website is hidden from the main website for an reason, hence you can only acess it by finding it yourself. I decided to mess around with the website adress a bit, to see if I could find any more extensions/links.

I started by putting different names in the adress. I tried out: Austin, Sarah, Cedric and Alfred but they didn't lead or anything.

BUT

The only name which lead to an extension was Noah. And holy shit-

I'm finding it hard to express how shocked I was at this discovery

This is a pretty big lore drop imo! So his website shows a pinboard with various notes.

And with these notes we can conclude two things:

1. He has an gambling addiction

2. He is investigating Jacob

He definitely an detective trying to solve an old murder case involved with Jacob. Hence why the mention that the new character will add more drama and mystery to the game.

The three murdered highschoolers must be his old friends mentioned in the game: Steve, Monty and Kenny. Which he claims that they haven't talked since highschool. In reality, they were murdered by him for reasons that are unknown for now.

The website link:

https://sinistershrike.neocities.org/character/noah

And that's about it! I had fun digging around finding this new info and writing this post. I hope to see more of interesting secrets like this in the future because it's fun finding them!

I hope this post was of interest to you :)

[ray935sworld]

The photo

Or: how to get a drunk Luca to a panicking Luca for beginners?

Answer: let him sent a drunk text

„Luca, Luca, corazon, you're drunk" Marc whispered holding his boyfriend close. He had to suppress a giggle as he looked at the young Italian. His brown hair was ruffled and his beautiful blue eyes were fixed on him. He looked worn out from their day. But happy.

They had woken up together, a beautiful house on a coast far away from anyone bothering them, secure enough to be sure that no one would see or recognize them. For once, they were just an ordinary couple, going on a hike, cooking together, kissing each other and more…

However, Luca was currently busy trying to wiggle out of Marc's hug which he only unwillingly allowed. Despite the heat, he refused to let his lover go. He wanted him close and feel his heart beating against his chest. „I'm- not drunnnnk!" Luca slurred as he stood up and made a few steps towards the side of their bed.

Marc, worried he might hurt himself while not being able to walk straight, was immediately on his side. He regretted letting Luca drink so much, underestimating that he could handle way less than him. It started with wine at dinner but had soon escalated to a few drinks too many.

But after all, they were on holidays and Luca was still young. He was allowed to drink a little too much, eat unhealthy and have some fun. He was far too serious and took his diet to strict most of the time anyway. Marc didn’t wanted to be the one stopping him from the little bit of fun he allowed himself.

Marc watched as Luca take his phone and stumbled back to the bed, taking Marc's hand and making him fall with him. He laughed about it. The Spaniard was now laying on his back, his boyfriend on his stomach, grinning at him like a cat that got the milk. „Can we sleep now?" he asked suppressing a yawn.

„Yeah but I still need to send my brother some picture. I promised him" Luca said as he started tapping on his phone. Marc sighed softly. He couldn’t see the screen cause Luca was holding the phone next to his head so he could see the screen and his boyfriend at the same time. But actually, he didn’t really care. Rossi was the last thing he wanted to think about when he had his boyfriend so close to him and all for himself.

„Just do it in the morning. He won't-" he tried to argue but was immediately shut down. „No! I promised. Marc, I pro-o-omised him!" he whined and the Gresini rider was close to laughing out loud. „I need to send him some pics!" „Okay. Okay, but I'll sleep"

He was well aware that Luca would look through all his approximately 300 pictures he had taken today. This would take a while, so - to stay true to his word - Marc started caressing Lucas hair until he was too tired to hold up his arm. Instead he placed it around the younger ones shoulders and soon fell asleep.

It was a peaceful sleep. It always was when he was close to his lover. He dreamed of Luca and their life. Their future. Their love. He dreamed about their wonderful vacation, far away from everyone. They weren't worried or concerned, they didn't need to hide. There was no reason to.

„Marc!" Someone was shaking him awake, disturbing his peace. Confused he blinked, trying to locate himself and figure out what was going on. „Marc, wake up!"

He stared at the wide open eyes of his lovers. He looked scared, filled with fear and pain and an unknown horror. It was terrifying to see.

„Luca?" he asked softly. „What?" „I- Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" the other exclaimed, gasping for air. His breathing was too fast to be considered normal. He looked like he was in the middle of a panic attack. He was.

Quickly Marc sat up, hugging his lover. He felt the younger ones grip tighten around him. His arms holding him like his life depends on it. He clinched to him. „Ma-Marc" he choked as a sob left his throat.

He let a few minutes past. Luca was crying. He was crying and Marc didn't understood a word. There was no reason to ask Luca to repeat himself or explain anything. Whatever it was, he had to get his tear out of his system first.

There was nothing Marc do, except handle the gut wrenching sounds and hope his lover would be comforted by his presence. Somehow.

When he was finally breathing normally, still hanging in Marc's hug, he took a deep breath. „I... I might have done something very, very stupid yesterday" he whispered. „That's okay" he reassured him and kissed him softly. „We'll figure it out. What happened?"

For a moment he was silent, clearly avoiding his eyes. Then he looked him straight in the eyes. „Promise... Promise me... You won't yell at me" „I would never yell at you. I promise. Everyone makes mistakes and... Whatever you've done, we can find a way to deal with it."

„I... I... Fuck. I'm so sorry." he whispered, tears back in his eyes. „I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean to. I swear. I... It was a mistake. It was an accident" „Luca, what did you do?" he asked again, softly but he couldn't help but notice the worry creeping in his chest. Luca was a calculating man. He had never seen him being overtaken with worry.

„I... I sent this to my brother" he whispered and showed his phone to Marc. A picture was open. One that was apparently now in Vale's inbox.

It was a beautiful picture, actually. It showed Marc, half naked. Actually he was completely naked and only covered by his blanket but luckily the picture ended under his chest. You could see with Luca wrapped around him.

The young Italian was still sleeping. His eyes were closed and his face had a peaceful look. His cheek was pressed against the older one's chest. You could see his right shoulder. He wasn't wearing a shirt either.

He looked beautiful. Calm and relaxed. They had taken the picture a few days ago. Well, Marc had taken the picture and sent it to his families group chat. His mother had asked for a confirmation that they hadn't done anything stupid and were alright after both hadn't answered for a few days.

Marc was grinning in the camera and winked. Then the realization hit him.

He fucking winked. It looked cheeky and was definitely intended. In that context it was funny. Clearly the two just had sex. In the Marquez family chat who had officially met Luca as Marc's boyfriend, that was okay. They could handle the joke. They made jokes like that all the time.

It was however highly inappropriate to send to the man who hated Marc with a burning passion.

„Fuck" he whispered. Now he understood his boyfriends panic. He was close to panicking as well but one look at his lover made him calm down. Luca was stressed enough. He was the one that had to calm him.

„I-I-I don't know what I should do! He's gonna be so angry." Luca muttered. „He's gonna - he's gonna throw me out the academy and never ever talk to me again. Fuck! What about the others? Pecco, Bez - Cele, Migno - Franco! No! No, no, no-" „Luca calm down. Please. Just breath with me-" he tried but it was too late.

He had talked himself into a panic. Again. He stood up, starting to chase his own shadow in the room. „Marc, they need the academy. Don't you understand? They own Vale everything! They can't betray him. It'd destroy them and their career. They... They will side with him and have to hate me too and they won't ever speak to me again!"

Quickly Marc stood up as well. Without thinking he grabbed his lover, forced him to stay still and took his face in his hands. He looked him straight in the eyes in a way that left no discussion about his words.

„Luca, his hate for me can't be stronger than his love for you" „No. No, you don't understand. He... He basically raised me. He was always there for me. He... He... I... I can't... He..." „But don't you understand what that means? Luca, you're his baby brother.” His mind drifted to Alex.

He tried to imagine what Vale must feel for his brother. “You're the baby he raised. He sees you as a brother and - maybe even as a son. It's obvious to everyone how much you mean to him. Trust him. Please. I trust him to make the right decision and... And if he fucks up, we'll ask the boys to get your stuff and - we'll, depending on you - We either move to Barcelona or Italy."

„I... I don't want to lose him" „I don't want you to lose him either. I know he means so much to you... That's why I trust him. You're a very good man. I believe you wouldn't trust him if he didn't deserve it."

Luca nodded. He didn't looked completely convinced but it was enough for now. The blue dots confirming that Vale had received and seen the pictures was enough to keep the tension in the room. There was no amount of words Marc could say to break it so he didn’t.

Silently they decided to start their day. It was impossible to follow they usual holiday routine of lazy morning sex and cuddling in bed. Instead they started making their breakfast. Both tried to start a conversation. Both were too uncomfortable and lost in thoughts about what might happen to keep it going.

Luca was scared to lose his family. Marc was scared Luca would resent him if Vale made the wrong reaction. Or he'd lose him. Maybe for good, he thought for a scary moment. Maybe this – a clean break, no ones fault, well maybe except Vale’s – was the best for them. Luca wouldn’t feel guilty anymore.

He stopped himself. Losing Luca, giving him up, was impossible. There was no way he’d let him go without a fight. He would find a way. Somehow. Even if he didn’t know how yet.

They sat on the patio of the vacation home they booked, when the ringing of a phone destroyed the silence. They looked at each other. It wasn't Luca's phone that was ringing.

It was Marc's.

„Who is it?" Luca asked as his boyfriend checked the display. „Your brother" he whispered, his cheeks turning white. „My- what?" Luca stared at him in shock. Neither of them had expected that turn of event.

„He calls me. I-" „Pick up!" Luca urged him and Marc quickly did. „Marquez" he answered the call. His voice was wavering He wasn't sure if attack or obedience was the best reaction.

„Here's Valentino... Rossi." The Italian answered. „I... I need to talk to you." „Okay. What's going on?" he tried to asked politely. „Don't act dumb. Your with Luca." he stated. Marc swallowed. He wasn't afraid of Vale for his sake. He was afraid of what Luca might had to go through.

„He drunk sent me a picture. Did you know that?" „Yes, he... He mentioned it." He shared a look with said man. “It was very… interesting. I didn’t expect to see my fucked out brother accompanied by… you” Luca looked defeated - sad. And that was the moment Marc decided that enough was enough. Their vacation wasn’t supposed to be like that. He wouldn’t allow that Luca’s one brake had this turn on him. He'd take control of the situation. He'd handle it.

„I know. He told me about sending it to you on accident. He was very concerned about your reaction - to put it lightly. He didn't mean to send it to you. He wanted to tell you. Not like this. But that's unimportant right now. What's important is that Luca is the most important person in my life.”

There was a light brush on Luca’s cheek. It made him look even younger. Marc looked only at him as he spoke. “I love him. I love him desperately and I feel like I can't breathe without him. I consider him part of my future, regardless and completely unrelated to his relatives. So knowing that, are you actually calling me to tell me I'm corrupting your baby brother? Are you going to accuse me, I'd be only with him to manipulate him or get back to you?"

There was a silence. Marc wasn't sure if he had overstepped. Maybe the silence was him hanging up and ending his brotherhood with Luca with one click. Or he'd get ready to yell at him. He was ready for both. He'd take care and defend Luca regardless.

„I deserved that." Came the surprising answer. „I’m not... No. No, I'm calling to apologize" he said again. His voice was calm. No amount of anger. Neither hidden nor obvious. „You what?" he asked, unsure if he had heard him correctly.

„I want to apologize. I will do a public statement explaining everything and a personal one, if you agree… I'd like to apologize to Alex and your parents too if they agree. I put them and you – all of you – through a lot of unnecessary shit over the last years.” „Wow. That's... That's a lot"

„No. It's the least I can do... Marc, I am sorry. I'm truly sorry. I didn't... Okay, let me explain. When I saw the picture I was angry. I... I was sure you'd... Well, you'd manipulate him and only use him – like you said. I know my brother is smart but... I still need to protect him." He had Alex. He knew that feeling all too well.

„I... I went to Uccio and he... It was a long and nasty talk. He wanted to throw Luca out the academy and never talk to him again. But he is my brother. He is my baby, even if he’d never admit that. I can’t… I’d never do that to him.”

Marc smiled. So he had been correct. “During the talk Uccio revealed that he consciously manipulated me to hate you. He faked data, even paid journalists to provide wrong information about you. He did everything to get rid of you and I played along. I'm sorry. All that time I trusted him and thought you were the bad one. I was the one being manipulated. I... I fired Salucci.”

He sounded sincere and that made the Spaniard hopeful. “I'm sorry, Marc. Really. I hope you can forgive me. I'd like to invite you after your holidays" „I guess not to the ranch" he joked and was glad that Vale took the joke light-hearted as he laughed along.

Lucas face became confused. „Allora, you're Luca's wag now. And no I won't consider it the other way." Marc couldn't help himself but laugh at that. Luca looked even more confused now which didn't help the Spaniard suppress his laughter. He wanted to lean in and kiss his worries away but that might be rude towards Vale and he wouldn’t risk that. Yet.

„And being the WAG means you're always welcome there too. But no. For now, I thought about my place. Not the ranch itself. More private" And more intimate. It truly meant family.

„I'd love to." he quickly agreed. He would look a gifted horse in the mouth. „Yes. I'm sure Luca will agree" „I hope... Is he sitting close to you?" „Ehm..." he said looking at Luca, the shirtless, very sexy, decorated with hickeys Luca. He was suddenly really happy this wasn't a video call.

„Yes" „Would you please hand him the phone? I'd like to apologize for being a shitty brother and not making him feel safe enough that he could have told me about your relationship when he was sober" „You're not a shitty brother." he protested. It felt like the right thing to do. Somehow. Even if he was happy to know what Vale wanted to talk about.

„Luca loves you. A lot. You mean the world to him. He was just afraid to disappoint you" „That's not really better, but thank you. I appreciate it... You know that I will kill you if you hurt him, right?" „Yeah, thought so already"

„Okay... You're treating him right... Like... Really. You're not pulling some fucked up shit and... I don't know..." „I don't. No. I never would. I could never. Luca... He means the world to me. If he'd asked me to quite motogp, I'd call Ducati on the spot."

Now Luca stared at him in shock. „Are you being serious?" The answer was immediat. „Without hesitation. I love him more than anything."

He handed his phone to his boyfriend and as Luca switched to Italian, his face twitching in horror, then release and finally happiness, Marc knew everything would be alright.

This story is part of the summer break fics 2024 and is also on my ao3

[fiberslut]

Always in Powers

Pairing: Lukas Matsson x roy!reader

This is just a headcanon about being the youngest Roy sibling

You’re just holding a meeting while some unknown number pops up on your phone. You excuse yourself and answer to that number to hear Marcia’s voice. ‘Your father needs you’ she says, ‘I’m sorry, I think you’ve got the wrong number, I don’t have a father’ ‘He’s offering you to be the CEO’ ‘What happened to Ken and Rome?’ ‘Let’s discuss about it when you’re here, next month is your father’s birthday remember?’ ‘As I said, I don’t have a father’ ‘See you soon’ and then she hung up

You have no idea what does he want. He’s ignored you for 22 years of your life but now he wanted to see you? and offering you to be the CEO of Waystar?

At a very young age, you’ve lived in the same house as Connor, Kendall, Roman, and Shiv. But one day your father hit you for some unknown reason, your mom knew about it, fired a restraining order against Logan, divorced him, and moved you two back to your mom’s country.

From that day on, you would go by her last name.

Since your mom is a very famous actress/model in your country, that made you’re also in the limelight too.

You hate Logan. Hate how he treated you and your mom. Hated how he never fought to get you back. Hate how he never calls on your birthday. Hate how he never said ‘Happy birthday kid’ to you. Hate how you would have no one to celebrate Father’s Day with.

That’s why you always work so hard, and be able to graduate double degree from Harvard Business School and Harvard Law School at the age of 22. And since you’re famous (thanks to your mom) you have a lot of celebrity friends, which helps with your clothing company to be successful and to be accepted worldwide.

Now you’re in Italy for Caroline’s wedding. But Logan wants you to go with him and Roman to talk about business with this Matsson guy.

He is a very interesting guy. Not like what you have in mind about tech bro.

Lukas couldn’t stop looking at you while talking with Logan. Rome sees it too and he’s not happy about it.

While you’re on the boat back to the wedding venue, some odd numbers appear on your phone, you answer it and it’s Lukas. ‘How did you get my number Mr. Matsson?’ Rome hears that and signal you to hang up the phone, while Logan is smiling in a victorious way.

‘He’s not going to give you CEO’ Kendall says, ‘From what Roman told me, he’s obviously using you to woo Matsson’ ‘No he’s not, he promised me’ you argue back, ‘He promised me too’ Shiv adds

From that day on you’ve talked and texted with Lukas every day. You find him so laid back and funny not like any guys you’ve dated.

You are Roman’s favorite, he’s the only one who visits you every year, so since you’re back in New York, you usually hang out at Roman’s place.

‘What are you smiling at?’ Roman asks ‘Don’t tell me it’s that Swede again, aren’t you dating that Denmark prince?’ ‘He’s a Count and no we’re not dating’ ‘It’s creepy, Matsson is too old for you’ ‘Um, I don’t think you should be the one to lecture me about what is creepy or what is not huh Mr. send-your-dick-pic-to-dad’

When you’re free of meeting, you will fly to Sweden. You and Lukas have developed a serious relationship. ‘What if I buy your dad’s company?’ He asks. ‘There is a cheaper way to impress me Lukas’ ‘No I’m serious’ ‘Then you should buy ATN too’ ‘Wouldn’t that destroy him?’ ‘That’s my point’

You were at Connor's side when you heard the news. That Logan is dead while he's on the plane to meet Lukas. You felt empty, just blank, not any hint of sadness. You saw Kendall, Roman, and Shiv were crying and saying I love you Dad at the phone. They're devastated at the news and couldn't do the interview, so it was you to do it.

Your sibling didn't have time to mourn Logan's death that much since Lukas invited them and the company to Norway.

You were excited, you and Lukas agreed to make your relationship official at the retreat.

Everyone was so shocked except Roman, he saw it coming since the first day. Kendall totally couldn't accept it, he refused to talk to you all day. Shiv just looked at you in disbelief but didn't say anything.

You love this retreat, you always ask Greg to be your photographer for your Instagram. Lukas hates how you are always with Greg when you should be next to him.

So he asks Greg who he is and insulted him in Swedish in front of his friends. You get mad at him for talking about your family like that. You and Lukas have a fight and you ended up leaving the retreat that afternoon and flying back to New York to help Connor with the funeral.

You haven't heard from him until the funeral day. You saw him with Shiv and that totally sums up everything for you. You ignore him all morning just to end up being pulled away into the dark corner of the church, him kissing you passionately and saying he's sorry and how much he's missed you.

So that week he stayed with you at your penthouse and he proposed to you.

He has you by his side while taking a group photo as GoJo successfully bought Waystar and ATN. You showing your new engagement ring as your new chapter of life is about to start as a wife and an American CEO of Waystar.

[marie-swriting]

New Future - Natasha Trace

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Summary : After Natasha's last deployment, you hope your relationship won't go down again.

Warnings : angst, sad ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 2.3k

French version

Song inspiration : It'll Be Okay by Shawn Mendes

Overexcited, you run and jump into Natasha’s arms, making her drop her bag at the same time. She chuckles before responding to your embrace. You press your lips on your girlfriend’s while keeping your arms wrapped around her neck. You hadn’t felt her lips for a month and two weeks. In other words, you missed them.

Natasha was deployed for a mission whose details are unknown to you. Furthermore, you couldn’t communicate as much as you wanted so you also missed her. Whilst you’re kissing passionately, you hear whistling around you.

“Get a room !” Hangman exclaims with humour.

To answer him, Natasha keeps kissing you and gives him the middle finger. He laughs and keeps walking with Bradley.

As soon as you break the embrace, Natasha takes your hand and picks up her bag and then you go to your car. On the way home, you let Natasha rest despite the fact you want to tell her everything she’s been missing. The smile on your lips can’t seem to go away as you’re so happy to have her back.

Once you arrive, you lightly shake Natasha, she wakes up, groggy, then you walk into your house which you’re still renovating. You bought it a month before she leaves.

You were going through a hard phase - it wasn’t the first one but it was the worst one for now - and you thought buying a property would help you get closer again. When you got the keys, it worked ; the joy of reaching another milestone and creating your own home gave you a little help.

Your relationship was hanging by a thread, not because you didn’t love each other anymore - quite the opposite, it just seemed there were some elements which weren’t working anymore, the main one being Natasha’s time-consuming job. Judging it was only a bad moment, you preferred to create a good one.

Unfortunately, Natasha didn’t have the time to renovate the house a lot. You had started the bedroom together, ripping the wallpaper off and starting the painting until she had to go. Meanwhile, you finished the room. Natasha hasn’t seen it.

So when you get home, you ask her to close her eyes and guide her to your shared bedroom. The second you’re there, you whisper in her ears that she can look. Opening her eyes, a big smile makes its way on her face. At first glance, there aren't any flaws - even if you know every spot you missed - and you built every piece of furniture you had picked together beforehand. You’re proud of your work.

“You nailed it ! It looks so good.” Natasha compliments, stunned.

“I’m happy you like it ! You better love your drawers, it was a real pain in the ass to build it.” you inform, pointing at the furniture in question. “There are also those frames I wanted to put on the walls but I thought it’d be better to wait for your return before making holes.”

While explaining, you walk to the spot between the drawer and the wall to take the four frames of the same size out. You put them on the floor so she can see the pictures. You made several photomontages on a website of your trips and more random moments together, like night outs at the Hard Deck, at the beach or in your old respective apartments. You show her where you thought would be best to hang them whilst she keeps admiring the pictures.

“I love it ! I had even forgotten some pics.” she exclaims, looking at a photo taken for your two years anniversary at a restaurant.

“That’s the reason why I developed them. So, what do you think ? I can make the holes ?” you question, impatient.

“Totally, it’ll be nice. We do it now ?”

“Don’t you want to rest ? We can do it tomorrow. They can wait one more day, it won’t make such a difference to them.” you laugh as you point to the objects and Natasha shakes her head.

“I have enough energy for this. However, after this, I’m taking a shower and we’re cuddling in bed.” she requires putting her hands on your hips.

“I’m gonna get the drill, then.”

You kiss her cheek then go to the guest room that is currently more of a storeroom than a bedroom and get the tools. Before leaving the room, you look at it fondly. When you bought the house, you both decided it would be the guest room until the moment you’d want a kid. You don’t know when, however it’s definitely in your plans. You both have a full idea of the future you want together.

It only takes you about ten minutes to drill the wall and hang the frames. Now, you feel like your bedroom is fully finished.

Natasha goes to take a shower while you empty her bag and do a load of laundry. Shortly after she’s done, you both lay down on the bed, Natasha finally discovering the comfort of this new mattress. Cuddling with each other, you talk ; you’re slowly stroking her hair, lulling her into sleep, thirty minutes later, her even breaths makes you understand she’s sleeping. Softly, you kiss the crown of her head. Unconsciously, Natasha gets closer to you. You wish you could put that moment on hold and stay in your bubble all your life.

Notwithstanding, this moment has to end. After a bit less than two weeks with Natasha next to you, waking up next to her, you feel the cold sheets and not the warmth of her body as you change position in your bed. You open one eye and find an empty spot. When you’re sure there is no one, you fully open your eyes and look at Natasha’s clock on her night stand. Seeing it’s seven o’clock, you know where she is. It’s not rare for her to be called early in the morning for a meeting or another assignment. Your proximity with TopGun is a blessing and a curse. She’s not far away if they need her and therefore, they call her a lot. You can’t help but feel annoyed by it, even if you know it’s not up to her.

When she gets back home during the evening, Natasha finds you in the living room, your nose stuck in the bookshelf’s instruction. Once she’s next to you, you turn your head to peck her lips. You’re about to go back to the building of the furniture when Natasha offers you a bunch of flowers, wishing to make up for her absence. You accept them gladly and you promise her you’re not mad at her. You put the flowers in a vase before going back to the living room.

Natasha takes a look at the almost-finished room. You only have the furniture for the TV left to build, if we forget about the one you’re currently doing. Since Natasha’s return, the renovations have been going faster. You finished the painting you had started before she came back. Quickly, Natasha takes off her shoes before helping you with the bookshelf. You ask her to hold the plank while you screw. Once you’re done, you take another screw when Natasha draws your attention.

“I have the information for my next deployment.”

“Oh ?” you exclaim, stopping in your tracks.

“I… I have to leave in three weeks.”

“You just came back.”

“I know but it’s urgent, it can’t wait.” Natasha explains, pursing her lips.

“And how long will it take ?” you question, playing with the screwdriver.

“Two months.” she informs before adding quickly : “I know it’s not ideal and you’ll have to keep doing the renovations alone but I promise, once I get back, I’ll try to have more days off.”

“It’s okay. It’s your job.” you reassure, taking her hand.

“I know, but we haven’t seen each other a lot recently.”

“We better make the best out of these three weeks then.” you smile.

Natasha kisses you, feeling better to know you’re not mad because of her news. Without waiting any longer, you go back to the building of the bookshelf whilst your mind is lost in your thoughts.

It doesn't matter if you’ve been with Natasha for two years, you still hate when she has to leave. You know your anxiety will be high and you’ll feel lonely. Furthermore, when she gets back, there’s always a moment to adapt before getting back to your old routine. You push all of these thoughts in the back of your mind, you have to enjoy Natasha’s presence whilst she’s here, and you get your focus back on the furniture.

However, the next weeks are not gentle with you. Natasha hasn’t even left yet nevertheless it’s close enough. Slowly, you went back to the phase you used to be when you bought your house. You’re close without really being it. She has to go to TopGun a lot and when she comes back, she doesn’t have a lot of energy to do anything. The rhythm of your renovation slowed down as well and you feel the gap between you getting deeper everyday. You should be happy to have Natasha by your side and yet, you’re gloomy. Furthermore, with Natasha, you’re talking less and less, despite your tries from the both of you. It’s as if you were becoming strangers.

You hate this situation. It’s not the first time it happens and you still don’t know what to do. You feel like everytime you find each other again, an external element sends you to the starting point again and the external element is often a deployment. The periods in which Natasha is not there are becoming heavier on you, in spite of yourself and it can be felt in your relationship. You spend your days looking for a solution. You love Natasha. There must be a solution to fix all of this. You don’t know which one ; even if a part of you thinks that, maybe, this time, there isn’t a solution. Just the thought of it makes you sick in your stomach. You try to forget about it.

A few days before she leaves, you tell yourself you can’t keep these thoughts for yourself. You have to talk about it with Natasha. Your relationship is going through a hard time, you need to talk about it in order to fix it. You can’t stay standing there without doing anything. Therefore, one evening, whilst you’re eating, you draw Natasha’s attention. She gives you an interrogative look, waiting for you to speak.

“We have to talk, Nat. And it’s serious.” you start with a soft voice.

“I wanted to talk to you, too.”

“So, you know just like I do we have to do something. We can’t stay like this. And as you’re leaving soon, we have to fix it.”

“I know.” she admits before staying silent. “I… I was thinking, maybe, I could ask to change jobs.”

“What ?”

“Yeah, like this, I wouldn’t have to leave as much.”

“But you love flying.” you exclaim, surprised.

“I love you more.”

“I can’t ask you to do that, Nat. You can’t give up on flying because of me. You will be miserable if you do and I won’t stand it.”

“Y/N, we have to face it, it’s not working anymore between us because I’m always leaving.” Natasha affirms, looking you in your eyes.

“Maybe we just need to find a better balance between our relationship and your deployment. We need a better routine.”

“We both know it’s not the solution. We tried several times and we always end up like this. It’s always temporary. This house is proof of it.” she says, showing the surroundings with her hands. “I really thought by moving in together, everything would be better because we would have our home and it’d be easier to see each other but it’s not the case.”

“I don’t want to break up.” you object, understand what she’s insinuating.

“Me neither but I know that, just like me, you thought about it too. Y/N, it’s okay.” Natasha reassures, putting her hand on top of yours.

“How can you say that ? I love you. I don’t want to lose you.” you whisper with a trembling voice.

“I don’t want to lose you either but if we can’t fix this then we won’t have any other choice. If we keep on trying, it might be worse. It’s okay if our relationship is not working anymore, we don’t have to fix it.”

“And what about the future we imagined together then ?” you ask, tearing up.

“It might not be meant to happen. Y/N, it’ll be okay. We’ll move on.” she states, her voice breaking at her last sentence.

“I don’t want to move on. I want to stay with you.”

Following your sentence, you burst into tears. Natasha’s tears start running down her cheeks as well before she stands up and comes next to you to take you in her arms. You hug each other while letting all of your sadness out. You stay in each other’s arms for quite some time. When you break the embrace, Natasha puts her hands on your cheeks and wipes them whilst yours are on her waist. She gives you a sympathetic smile, you don’t have the strength to give her one.

“I’m sorry.” you sigh.

“You don’t have to apologise.”

“I do.” you insist, “When we got together, I promised you I knew what I was getting myself into. I really thought our love would be stronger than that.”

“Love is not always enough, unfortunately.” she sobs. “Maybe, when we’ll be older,” she starts looking at you, “we’ll find each other and this time, it’ll work. Or maybe our love was only made to work in another universe. I will always love you either way. Never doubt it.”

“I will always love you either way, too.”

You look into each other’s eyes before kissing softly. In this last kiss, you share all the love you have along with your sadness. While you’re losing yourselves in your kiss, you feel everything you’ve been building and everything you’ve been dreaming to build fading to black. You both, now, have to imagine a whole new future without the other.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

[yakultii]

today was the 1st of July and it was probably the longest day of the year I could have sworn 3 days have passed since I saw the 1st on my calendar this morning what the heck!!…. time for positives of today !! I woke up at a decently early time and also my package arrived w some new clothes for the first time in literal years decades even and I guessed the sizes for everything and everything is so perfect I love it (I wish I had friends or social media like the olden days so they could see my new fits) and also I went for a walk (though it wasn’t the most enjoyable cos I didn’t listen to my audiobook/instead listened to Taylor hill talk about how her dog died from cancer so that was depressing (and now I think about it probs put off the vibes for the rest of the day/though maybe coincidental cos there were previous signs) and also cos I threw up beforehand for unknown reasons and also it was very cold outside but it was still nice to be outside and smile at a few strangers (a reminder I’m still in the world) and I felt good about going out for a walk - shitty iphone pics from walk below)… getting better at just powering through the physical exhaustion? and ignoring the pain in my body(sometimes when I can actually breathe sometimes bc mostly it’s in my chest and it ranges from tightness to stabbing to radiating down my arms and more yikeys ) which I’m not sure is a good thing but it’s the only way I know how to move forward throughout my days rn and seems to be working?(delulu) keen for uni classes to go back next week but unsure how my energy levels will cope but staying hopeful!we will see..also I am so fucking grateful for hot showers omg for the ppl in this world who live somewhere cold and don’t have access to the boiling hot shower from the bottom of my heart I’m so deeply sorry oh god :( and also I just ordered some random foods bc tonight’s meal went to shit as did the last few hrs in general but I’m really excited for what the delivery dude will bring me in 1hr I actually bought some yakult for the first time in a little while too <33 and some fun lil snacks like kefir and matcha and some more hot chocolate and I got marshmallows like I dreamed of the other day as well as some ingredients to have burritos tomorrow :) tomorrow my main goals are just to clean up my apartment the best I can and eat and drink well bc I can feel my body is tired and so is my mind.. and make burritos ofc :)) I hope y’all are having a nice day and holding onto the light!! Ily <33

[sapphyreopal5]

I’d like to add a couple of interesting things to your last post, this is not the first s*x supplement she advertised/used.

She did an ad if I remember correctly when she had nowandgen ,and now this one , plus her very cringy replies on Sm saying she rides it every chance she gets and aother comments that suggest how very horny she is for him all the time, and that allegedly post s*x pic .

Now you know what’s so damn funny?

She made that super embarrassing shower video jared suggested that they should go have s*x and she asked him to promise her that it’s going to last more than five minutes 😂 (jared please wake up and stop doing everything she says, you look bad sweetie)

No wonder she needs that d*ldo (the one she posted by mistake😭) and God knows what that needle for .

And those awkward kisses where they miss each other’s lips after 14 years of marriage.

Plus him constantly going to breastrestaurant rather than staying with this s*xual Godes lol

Yeah , she’s not fooling anyone but herself and jared .

Hello Anon, thank you for the feedback. I did write before about who Gen is an incarnation of and who Jared is as well. I believe that even tough the mythologies aren't correct as far as divine match pairings go, it is worth mentioning here I think Jared is trying to come off as this super supportive husband when the two secretly can't stand each other. Between all of this and his flirty behavior towards fans, especially coming from a friend who went to the Nashcon and a few others in the past who made some very interesting observations (ex. has been a little more friendly and flirty than in the past, notices the women who have more cleavage, Jensen was talking to him for a few min before autos began at Nashcon longer than usual [you okay there, Jared?], etc.), I believe that Jared deep down believes his real love is out there somewhere and that she's gonna be waiting in line for him at a con for an autograph or photo op. Jared just wants to be genuinely loved and adored, Gen just wants his money. He is also 100% scared of being alone. I swear to you it goes back to that palm reading he got and where he said while talking about it he half expects his love life to get screwed up (right around when Sandy and him broke up, and right before him and Gen met). Also did Gen REALLY post that dildo photo by mistake Anon? I think we both know the answer to that one LOL!

Us women tend to be more "logical" about how we fall in love, whereas men are more emotional. Of course this is just a general rule here but it's also true that many times over, women are who ask for a divorce initially more often then men overwhelmingly so too. I feel like women have more of a checkbox with love (money/job, stability, sense of humor, intelligence, generosity, values, etc. while men are more about if she's cute, they can have good conversations, things like that. There are multiple reasons why women are said to initiate divorce more which has proven over several decades to be consistently true but the point is, I think that this also means women check out of marriages more. Even though Gen is scared of losing her following 'cause she decided it was a genius idea to sell the crunchy, homestead mom image with her TOWWN "organization", she does not genuinely love Jared. She loves his wallet and the prestige that comes with being his wife. Commonly cited reasons for divorce are as follows:

* Infidelity; (why is Gen REALLY buying this supplement given everything else that's coming into play here? Hmm...) * Spouse unresponsive to the other’s needs; * One spouse grew tired of making the marriage work; * One spouse thought the other was immature; * One spouse felt he or she was being emotionally abused; * Spouses had different financial priorities or spending habits, and * Alcohol and drug abuse by one spouse. * One spouse wanted to pursue a different life; * One spouse found out unknown revelations from the other’s past; * One or both spouses felt they married too young; * One spouse physically abused the other; * One spouse’s career came before family; * There were insurmountable cultural or religious differences between the spouses; * One or both spouses had problems with the other’s family, or * One spouse was addicted to pornography.

I highlighted the ones I could see being potentially relevant with Jared and Gen being marital issues. The infidelity is a big question mark and is highlighted in green because Gen seems to be letting the world know she is sexually repressed somehow. I can't seem to count how many supplements are in this woman's body but I am struggling at this point to see how she could be missing anything to make her not want sex. I think it's all in your head honey [Gen]...

I also decided to go look up the whole Community Property (Texas being one) versus Equitable Distribution State (such as Connecticut) as one of my besties decided to look into this about Danneel and Jensen. I found this tidbit interesting about Texas being a Community Property Jurisdiction state:

Marital debt is debt that is created or liabilities that are incurred during the marriage. It can include the balance of a car note, a mortgage, credit cards, personal loans, student loans, medical debts, and other liabilities. The court is not required to divide debt equally upon divorce. It is required only to make a “just and right division” depending on the circumstances of the parties. Both spouses are responsible for the debts and liabilities of the marriage, regardless of which spouse created it or the name that is on the title or note. A car purchased on credit during the marriage is community property. A divorce court can award the car (and balance owed) to one spouse, but does not have the power to remove the other spouse’s name from the contract that created the debt. The creditor can still look to the other spouse for payment. The same holds true for credit card agreements, mortgage contracts and other debts. If your spouse opened an account using your information without your knowledge or consent, it may be considered fraud or identity theft.

One thing that's interesting about the state I live in that's not a thing in Texas is the said waiting period. In Texas it's 60 days. In my state however, because North Carolina only permits no fault divorces, which require a 1 year separation at least. Here's something also interesting about no fault divorces in Texas:

No-fault divorces in Texas can be faster and less expensive than a “fault” divorce because there are no allegations of marital wrongdoing to resolve. In Texas, there are two types of no-fault divorce: (1) a divorce based on insupportability and (2) a divorce based on living apart for at least three years. A divorce based on insupportability does not require you to prove that your spouse did something wrong—you just need to show that the marriage is “insupportable” because of discord or conflict between you and your spouse that can't be resolved. Keep in mind that you don’t need to provide evidence of irreconcilable discord or conflict. In a divorce based on living apart for at least three years, the court must find that you have been living separately and apart from your spouse for three continuous years without any cohabitation (living together).

I suppose I'm sharing this stuff here because I sometimes wonder if they actually even sleep under the same roof anymore (Jared in guest house Gen in main house kind of deal). Someone brought up a very interesting point on one of my last posts about how Jared is signing up for more foreign cons and how it seems both Jared and Jensen feel like they're "guests" in their own homes. I believe Jared has been starting to catch onto this in more recent years and it's been a very painful awakening process for him. From stuff I recall also being told in PMs and also as I speculated in the past from divination readings, I believe that Jared and Gen are quietly "separated" but are trying to maintain their faux happily married public image for some weird reason.

Thanks for coming by Anon :)

[aisquaredchoco]

Hey all, especially to those who left comments on my long post that I hope is the last of that kind...I appreciate everything you've said, and I was proved wrong when I thought I felt invisible during those times. So thank you for that! I'll never leave them unresponded though, but work went a little busier lately and now's the only time to reply to them all..

@kevinvoncrastenburg: "I'm glad you're back! I appreciate your transparency and the way you expressed yourself. I can only speak for myself but I really appreciate you and your content. Nonetheless I see your pov and think you found a healthy way for yourself to kind of slow down a little bit and focus on what's more important to you and the future of your blog. I will always be looking forward to new posts by you. Wishing you all the best and again: You ARE appreciated! 🙏🏼"

-- Thanks for the reassurance, and knowing someone's still looking forward to my stuff is more than enough. I still love my craft, that's why I'm not deciding to leave. I'll get tired, but I won't quit..

@pudding-parade: "I long ago determined that to be a "popular" CC creator, you need to do things with clothing, accessories, and hair. I'm guessing the reason is that some people don't even play the game. They just make sims and then dress, pose, and take pics of them to edit. I've never wanted to be "popular" because, frankly, it's a pain in the ass to have eyes on you and what you're doing, so I guess it's a good thing I never liked doing things with clothing and hair. LOL But yeah, it's just how it is. It doesn't mean that the things you DO share are unappreciated, though. I appreciate your TS2 conversions, in particular. :D"

-- I also figured that simmers I follow spend more time with sims and mostly show CAS cc, so I once thought "why not make CAS stuff too?" but held back because I know making them is more tedious than buy/build. I realized I won't have go that far just to acheive popularity, and of course we know being popular comes with a price. I choose inner peace, so I quit being too ambitious in that sense. Thanks too!

@nornities: "Hm, to me you are "a household name", here as well as on MTS. I'm not sure what makes a creator a household name. I created worlds, well liked by some, unknown to most. Am I a household name? I don't think so. So I think you are right, it's a lot about expectations. But your good health is the most important thing, and that you enjoy what you do (and playing the game). So I'm glad you don't retreat entirely! Take care!"

-- Ohhh...really? Even on MTS huh..*blushes* Anyway, thank you for thinking of me as such. Well in that sense, I think you earn the reputation of being a household name as well! And yeah, as I said I choose inner peace and just enjoy playing (and making cc)..

@nessysims: "You have every right to want recognition. It `s naturally. And I really appreciate your CC! I absolutely love and almost always use your repurposed uni desks. And your wood texture is an irreplaceable thing for me! I use it everywhere and it's my favorite."

-- Thank you for letting me know! It's truly appreciated. And while I have the right to get recognized in what I do, wanting too much of it becomes a problem, so it's a good start if I quit with such mindset..

@curmudgeonness: "Welcome back! I'm glad you will not be leaving. I hope you find the balance you need to thrive here. I'm sorry I don't tag creators when I use their content, but I'M EXTREMELY LAZY. I have stopped downloading S4 conversions. They're generally clunky and don't fit the (my) S3 vibe. I like S3 edits, new S3 functional objects, and S1 and S2 conversions. I always look forward to your posts."

-- Yeah, I'm not leaving. And no, don't apologize. It's fine if you don't tag creators, you're not obliged to do so. I guess I was just expecting too much from people who download my stuff, but do not want to actually force them. And thanks for the warm welcome too..

@puffkins2000: "Yayyy! I'm happy you're back! Honestly, I get the "household name" thing. I guess I sort of tried that as well. I like converting because I want those conversions in my game---and pretty much any other EA conversion. If I see it's not been converted and I have that pack, I'll totally try to do it. I rarely get a ton of likes, but at least if someone DL's it, they wanted it!"

-- Thank you for the warm welcome! Yes, that's the core mindset I also want to have when making cc 🙏. And yeah, I also tend to forget that download numbers also matter and so far I got a fair amount and maybe that's enough.

@parystrange: "To me you're one of the creators who's CC I know is quality, safe, and exactly what I want in my game. I wouldn't worry too much about being a "household name" , I think you'll always have your dedicated users, who love your content, and I personally think that is just great! I use a lot of your stuff, but I rarely post gameplay pics so you, and the other people I download from, rarely see your stuff in my game. But it IS there, I promise! 💕Also, I think the more well known you become, the more the community seems to expect from you, and from what I've seen, it appears to put a lot of pressure on to people. I don't think you'd want that ( I know I wouldn't anyway ) I never see any of my downloads in people's games - I don't have many, but I don't mind if I don't see it, I just hope people enjoy it, and that's enough."

-- Thank you for reminding me that 😊. And you're right, popularity may come with perks, but also with disadvantages. I've seen some unsolicited (and sometimes rude) requests to some popular creators and I don't want to garner that kind of attention..

@gifappels-stuff: "It shows great character and maturity to self-reflect and self-correct 💐 Do not worry so much about recognition... it is very much subjective. Just play (and enjoy) the game, and share whatever comes forth from that. All of us have lives beyond Sims 3, and sometimes, people are just more involved in their own problems and everyday lives. So don't take it personally. Rather, try to take satisfaction from the fact that you created something that brought you happiness 💝"

-- Yeah I'm kinda embarrassed that I had an ambitious mindset back then. I realized there's more to life than overthinking if people really like the stuff I make. Thank you for the words of support!

About the photo: I also got a new kitty! (the orange one) So I made him in TS3 too. Name's Ponkan by the way, and he's very sweet and chatty, always makes me feel better whenever I feel sad or stressed. He and Cloud are getting along in the game but not in real life though lol.

[4rainynite]

EAH Dorm Headcanons pt 16

Alistair & Humphery

One's a future explorer to a strange world and the other is an egg who is destined to be cracked.

In Alistair's profile it said that his roommate was unknown, and it was never stated that Humphery had a roommate so - they're roommates now! The only other person I could think of to be either of their roommates would've been Nathan Nutcracker (he was a book character).

I believe we would've gotten Humphery character bio if he won being Courtly's crush during 'Courtly Pleads her Case', but no, Alistair won (Like that show needs another love triangle)!

After 'Spring Unsprung' Alistair was barely there and Humphery never got too much info so I'll do my best with what I got.

Alistair's side of the dorm:

Alistair is the son of Alice Liddel (his last name is Liddel too, hated that they changed it to Wonderland) who travels all throughout Wonderland. Like his mother Alistair is a curious and adventures soul who wants to solve every riddle there is.

Alistairs's side of the room has a Wonderland design to it to remind him of home. Due to the design of his outfit, he has a ton of maps and notebooks that he uses to take notes of at home and of the land of Ever After.

His wall divider would have pics of his friends, pics he took of Ever After and Bunny.

I can see him having a murphy bed for easy storage and there might not be many murphy beds at school. And it gives some kinda Wonderland vibe to it like it doesn't open like a regular murphy bed it'll open sideways, backwards, etc.

Like the other Wonderlanders, Alistair is messy, but in an organized chaos kind of way.

As a member of the chess club, Alistair has many chess boards and chess decor. Along with teacups and bunnies(*COUGH*).

I can also see a ton of conspiracy boards for some reason.

Being a self-proclaimed riddle master Alistair reads a lot of riddle, jokes, and travel books, so he has ginormous bookshelf to store his books.

Once, he and Bunny start dating I can see him growing flowers and carrots to give to her as gifts.

Also, that rabbit plushie he got on his and Bunny's carnival date, he sleeps with it every night and named it Bunny Jr (Sorry, I just goota say this - I really hate the art style they used for Alistair's bio and doll it's just so - ugh!).

Humphery's side of the dorm:

Humphery is the son of the egg Humpty Dumpty, who is destined to fall and never be put back together. Humphery is a tech wiz and a huge rap fan. In the books Humphery was an animated egg so I believe he can shapeshift into an egg and human form.

As a techie Humphery has tons of wires, cameras, remotes, you name it in his room. He'll even lend his expertise to friends like when Justine to find out who was damaging her shoes, when the mirrornet was down, when Apple needed him to put a tracking device on Raven (never mind that last one was bad).

Outside Humphery's dorm he has a makeshift sign that says 'Dump-T Studios'. Not only is Humphery a rap fan he's a rapper and records his own music. He owns tons of headphones, microphones, CDs, and etc.

Humphery loves to play video games so his side of the dorm as multiply computer screens, a game chair, and many game consoles.

I can see him having those really smart beds that have a tv pop out at the foot of the bed and has a coffee machine built in it.

As an animated eggs and future heir of an egg kingdom Humphery is obsessed with eggs. He total has a collection of faberge eggs from his kingdom and some he decorates himself.

Humphery has pet chicken named King Benedict and gets mad when people call him a rooster instead of a king chicken.

Humphery is a very clumsy fellow (it's worse when he's in egg mode) so he has a first aid kit in his room when he hurts himself.

Despite being clumsy he has taken a knack for sports and trying new things so he has a helmet and safety pads up in his dorm.

Once, he and Meeshell start dating his wall divider is littered with pics of her and him.

[kayleezra]

Nobody // (Ezra x GN!Reader)

Word Count: 3, 907 Warnings: just my god-awful writing  Summary: It takes losing you for Ezra to realize that your love is one of a kind.  A/N: I’m not dead! (much to many's dismay) just couldn’t write for the life of me and did I download a copy of the symposium to reference directly? yes, yes I did Also, my wife @writer-darling was kind enough to edit this (per usual since she's an angel sent from the heavens I believe) SO EVERYONE GO LOVE HER!!

(ft. a pic my wife sent me with Ezra vibes)

PRESENT

Waking up alone in a tepid bed wasn’t unknown to Ezra but now, it certainly felt foreign. Turning in the sheets felt eerily familiar, not a familiarity you can’t place but one you can; a familiarity that creates fear. It felt as though the past was pulling him away from the present that he worked so desperately hard to get to, and yet he didn’t move. He didn’t stand from the bed and try to fight the void that was the empty space beside him, the one pulling him into a space he no longer felt comfortable in. Perhaps it was the dull throbbing in his head that turned sharp when he moved too much too fast, a lingering gift from a night of overindulgence. Maybe the heavy regret that sat on his chest kept him pinned to the bed. What if he just didn’t see a reason to fight back, that all hope had been expelled from his body?

No, it wasn’t the last one. It couldn’t be because when he thought of you his heart warmed. When he thought of you he thought of your smile and laugh, particularly the ones he was graced with after fending off any insecurities you had voiced to him. Ezra was no knight in shining armour or brave warrior for keeping your insecurities at bay because it wasn’t something he had to fight or struggle for. His sword was his truth seen by adorning eyes that admired you. 

Ezra is ashamed to admit how it is that he came to these conclusions. It’s been over a week and a half now and he tried to convince himself that his love for you was something that he could replicate elsewhere. Even more outrageously, he tried to find the love that you gave him elsewhere, which he found was like looking for a lion in the jungle. Since last seeing you, Ezra feels like he’s been living a lie like the Lion’s title of King of the Jungle. 

The day after you walked out the door of his place, he went to a small market, proving to himself that light still shone upon him even when his sun was gone. And to be fair, he did find and see a lot of light. He loved the low hum of the crowd that all gathered to collect some local goods. He loved the smell that stemmed from the small family-run kitchens. He loved how lively everyone was, to all be enjoying this space away from the normal mundane of everyday life. 

The second day after you had voiced your concern, he went out for breakfast to his favourite place. Despite having taken you there on multiple occasions he believed your ghost wouldn’t haunt the small cafe located in an apathetic hotel. The familiar smell welcomed him when he walked into the hotel but so did the ghost of you. He felt like he was following the steps of the tender past. Inside the cafe sat couples, mostly seniors, also known as the regulars, each of them living a future he envisioned with you. It certainly didn’t help when the wait staff asked where you were.

Reading in his well-worn chair with his favourite tea wasn’t even safe from your ghost. As he read he’d find a quote he liked or thought you might and would read it aloud, only to look up from the words to an empty room. You weren’t there, you weren’t seated nearby absorbing and mulling over the words he spoke to you, developing words of your own to express enjoyment.

By the fourth day following his failed attempt at democratic discussion, he found comfort in the warmth of the bottle. He never allowed himself to overindulge to the point of incapacitation or becoming the messy drunk but just enough to have your haunting figure disappear and to silence your disembodied voice. However, the warmth could only comfort him for so long. 

So by the fifth day, Ezra found himself in crowds he’d normally never be caught dead in. Crowds that thought he spoke weird instead of eloquent, crowds that didn’t give themselves to their loves and passions in fear of the unknown, crowds that felt all too claustrophobic and dishonest. The one thing he did like about these crowds was that they were so loud and busy, that you couldn’t follow him in and he couldn’t hear the aching voice in his head. He kept this process up for days, numbing his senses and then overloading them when the numbing wore off. 

Which brought him to the soberingly cold bed he lays in now. He was exhausted, his head hurt and his mind yelled at him for being so childish and running from something that was within him. Ezra could no longer find the energy in himself to run, and while the agonizing void continued to pull at him, his newly sobered and angry mind lugged him toward the land of rationale. 

BEFORE

"Ezra, I need to talk to you,"

"Mmm?" he responded distractedly.

Inside you sigh, given this was exactly why you wanted to talk to him. He'd become… nonchalant. He wasn't quite distant but you'd felt like he was taking you for granted, like no matter how little he cared you'd always be dutifully waiting for him. It was almost like he had checked out of the relationship & while you'd brought it up multiple times, he assured you nothing had changed. But you felt forgotten, like a ghost in your own relationship.

"Ezra... I," you sigh, "I'm feeling... forgotten about,” this makes him look up with furrowed brows,

"What'd' ya mean?" he asks

"I just feel like you've become... disinterested in us.” He sighs frustratedly, 

"Not this again, babe, I told you-"

"No, I know," you interrupt, "but I need you to understand that this isn't about what is or isn't but about how I'm feeling. You could be 100 % right: that you haven't & nothing between us has changed but maybe I have, which is making me feel the way I am," you explain calmly despite your bubbling frustration. Ezra sighs and approaches you, placing his hands on your shoulders to be reassuring, 

“We are fine. Ain’t nothing changed. We’re together and in love, okay? I love you,” he says but it feels forced. 

Ezra’s ‘I love you’s’ have felt like an apology from a toddler forced out by a parent; like it’s an annoyance rather than a statement of love. You sigh, seemingly unable to get him to understand, leaving you feeling more alone and forgotten. 

The decline of your relationship happened so slowly that you thought you were imagining it. But then, when that voice of doubt in your head got too loud to ignore, you started initiating things and bringing it up with him, all of which he shot down nonchalantly. 

You even did things that he could never seem to resist, like making his favourite meal whilst dancing and singing to whatever playlist you’d chosen for the day. Whenever he came home to see you enjoying yourself while doing a menial task he couldn’t help but smile and join you. Even if he had the worst day when he saw you, love and joy filled his heart and he’d completely forget about what had happened that day or that there was a world outside the kitchen walls you remained within. His favourite was when he’d get into the house without you knowing so that he could watch you without you realizing. It was like seeing the rawest version of you. Ezra loved scaring you by creeping behind you slowly before trapping you in a bear hug. But in recent weeks, even when you purposely set yourself up for it, Ezra didn’t scare you; he didn’t even join you or make any innuendos with his classic smirk. He’d say a quick hello while walking past you with a peck to your forehead before leaving to shower, relax, or do anything else that he wanted to do. But maybe it’s just a small thing that you’re blowing up.

But then there was also how he started acting in bed, not just in regards to sex but all other forms of intimacy. Or rather it was the lack of intimacy he’d initiate and reciprocate. Normally he couldn’t keep his hands off of you, he’d want to cuddle or hold you, hell even just have a leg intertwined with yours. Recently he’s slept strictly on his side of the bed, often facing away from you.

FLASHBACK

You gain consciousness and feel the morning sun shining into your bedroom and rudely your closed eyelids. You haven’t even opened your eyes and you already think it’s too bright. You roll over, with a groan, into a warm body whose chest rumbles with a low chuckle. To which you groan in annoyance, causing further chuckling. You blindly reach for his face and push it away from you to show your disapproval. Ezra lightly nibbles on your fingers, still laughing at you. You take your hand away and finally open your eyes to look up at Ezra. You try to look serious but can’t help but smile when you see his warm smile and big grin.

“You think you’re so funny, don’t you?” you accuse through giggles.

“Not at all, but my bedbug sure is,” he says while pulling you against him. You give in and nuzzle into him, unable to resist his love. So the two of you cuddle and enjoy each other's company and warmth. Slowly, you become more awake and shuffle to get up. 

“No, no, no, no, no,” Ezra says while holding you tighter.

“Gotta start the day,” you explain while trying to escape.

“Nothing is waiting on you, I on the other hand am in need of you and your arms around me,” he says, still holding onto you. 

You sigh, “but I'll be guilty about being lazy and not doing anything.”

“You’re not being lazy, you’re enjoying your day off and recharging. Plus you are doing something.”

You smile, “and what is it that I’m doing?” you ask humorously.

“You’re fulfilling the very important task of keeping me warm.” Despite how cheesy he’s being you can’t help but smile.

“But,” you start.

“Nope, shush, shush, shush,” he says before kissing you to stop you from arguing with him.

PRESENT 

Despite the little time spent apart from Ezra, it feels as though it’s been months. You were hoping this time apart would help you clear your head and give yourself a solid answer as to where you stood with Ezra and your relationship. You wanted to feel free while away from him but you just yearned for him more and missed him… which left you with a bigger problem; how can you guys fix your relationship? You’ve tried a handful of times in the past and it seemingly fell on deaf ears, up to this point in time where you are now, if Ezra isn’t willing to listen there isn’t anything that can be done and you’ll have to mourn a relationship and love that you not only had but continue to crave.

You refrained from reaching out to him earlier; it was so premature that it felt like you were crawling back to him. But now you feel more confident in the midst of questions you stand in and hope that talking with him can clear that fog and reveal what is left of the village the two of you built together. Maybe the village will be fine, some broken branches and puddles, but fine. Or maybe the storm was a little stronger and entire trees have fallen and windows have broken. Or maybe the entire village is gone, no foundations left standing and nothing but raw torn-up soil remains.

You made yourself clear, you’d trusted him and he blew you off. The cold bed he lies in now is what he deserves. His anger simmers and begins bubbling over, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. Looking back, things had in fact changed, he changed. Ezra took you, and your love, for granted. He thought that no matter what, he’d have your love, that you’d always be there. It wasn’t that Ezra got comfortable, he was already very comfortable with you; Ezra had never felt more comfortable with someone. No, Ezra got lazy. Any and all relationships take some work, like a lawn, even if you only do the bare minimum you still need to do regular maintenance and Ezra stopped doing the maintenance, he let his lawn grow into the jungle and it swallowed you whole. 

The reality was that your love was one of a kind, it was the final piece to his puzzle. He’s spent the last few days going everywhere and doing everything and all he could think about was you. 

Ezra loves love. He loves watching couples laugh and smile together. He loves seeing someone sit in a cafe that they frequent, taking their usual spot. He falls in love with the sun twice a day, with every sunrise and every sunset. He loves seeing a child light up when they receive something they want. On the flip side, he loves watching couples argue, watching someone change their usual order due to a blue demeanour, seeing dark clouds hide the sun’s beauty, and seeing a child cry when heartbroken over a toy. 

Ezra loves seeing these human emotions and connections. Ezra sees love everywhere within almost everything and yet… he’s never seen or experienced a love like yours. Ezra fights with the idea of messaging or calling you. He wants to crawl back to you and tell you how idiotic he was, is! To tell you about what he’s learnt and seen. Ezra sighs and rolls over, still feeling lost and uneasy. He looks around the room as if a resolution will miraculously present itself on the walls. And while Ezra has long struggled with the idea of God, he’s the closest he’s ever been to believing when he sees The Symposium on his nightstand. 

It’s been nearly a week since you walked out of Ezra’s place, unsure if you’d ever want to return. Your mind is playing a cruel game of pong, you’re the poor ball bounding between ‘something changed, I felt ignored,’ and ‘we’ve had such amazing times, maybe this is just a rough patch,’ and you’re left to float in a desolate empty space in between these bounces. At least it felt that way until you saw that you got a missed call from Ezra and that he left you a voicemail. Your heart sings, even if you want to be unbothered and not interested. But, if you’re honest, you’ve been checking your phone obsessively for days. You begin to call your voicemail and your heart rate increases in excitement while a small part of your brain voices its disappointment. 

“Hello, my flower, I’m sure you don’t wish to hear from me but I fear I couldn’t help myself. I’d like you to do something for me, and I know that you owe me nothing, that you’re not obliged to do anything for me,” Ezra then explains what he wants you to do and that he wants to meet with you at a local cafe this coming Sunday,  “I just hope… I hope to see you soon, my flower,” Ezra ends the voicemail.  

Despite your brain’s rationale you’re excited to have heard from Ezra and are excited to complete the task he bestowed upon you, so that's exactly what you begin to do. 

TIME JUMP - SUNDAY

Ezra is nervous, the kind of nervous that makes his palms sweaty and stomach churn. The cafe is busy, with people coming in and out and many others sitting with friends and family, catching up in the cozy atmosphere. He watches some adolescent girls talk quietly amongst themselves with coy smiles and many giggles, talking about who likes who and giving advice to one another. There’s a mother and son keeping their mugs in cupped hands, the mother's eyes are soft, filled with love and hold a hint of pain. Ezra gathers, from the son's demeanour and the bits of conversation he overhears, that the son is back visiting, having taken an amazing career opportunity overseas. The mother is trying to keep her composure and not leap over the table and embrace her grown son and tell him how much she misses him. Two men sit at a table with their laptops discussing their workload and most recent project, it is clear they’re work friends but it doesn’t extend much farther than that. 

Even a larger group of 6 seniors, 3 couples, sitting together having lunch and catching up and making little quips about each other. It's clear many of them have known each other for decades. It’s not all positive though, a couple appears to be discussing their issues, one of them having trouble trusting the other and the other blowing it off. Many of the people coming in to grab beverages and snacks seem to be in a rush, irritated by having to wait. 

But everyone in the cafe ceases to exist when you walk in. If Ezra is honest with himself, he didn’t think you’d show but there you stand, scanning the room for him. You wear some comfy staples from your closet but have added some pieces to dress it up a bit. Ezra’s heart flutters, and he stands so you can spot him, which you do almost instantly. 

You carefully make your way over to him, dodging tables and ignorant patrons. You sit opposite of him, placing your bag on the table, before pulling out Ezra’s personal ichthys symbol; The Symposium. Ezra takes a deep breath, “I didn’t think you’d come.”

“I wasn’t sure I was going to either,” you say softly. 

“Did you read it?” he asks hopefully. 

You nod, “I did.” You keep your answers short, not wanting to reveal too much of yourself to him just yet, you want him to explain himself first. He nods shyly, unable to process that you’ve given him this opportunity. 

“Ezra, I-” you begin, sure you know what he’s going to say, given the message of the text. 

“Page 23 to 25,” he swallows. You don’t seem convinced, not yet opening your text or softening your gaze. “Please just, humour me yeah?” he pleads. 

You do as he says and open your text to the pages and see a rainbow of highlighted mess, having annotated the shit out of it. You tilt the book towards you, trying to shield it from Ezra, not wanting him to see how seriously you took this.

Ezra notices but doesn’t say anything instead, his chest tightens, not because you did something you asked but because no matter what you do, you give it your all. 

“190d, After much hard thought Zeus delivered his conclusion. ‘I think I have a plan’, he said, ‘that will allow humans to exist but at the same time put an end to their outrageous behaviour by making them weaker. For the present I shall split each one of them in half, and that will make them weaker, and at the same time they will be more useful to us by being greater in number. Then, 191b, after the original nature of every human being had been severed in this way, the two parts longed for each other and tried to come together again. They threw their arms around one another in close embrace, desiring to be reunited, and they began to die of hunger and general inactivity because they refused to do anything at all as separate beings. And lastly, 191d, for each of us is a mere tally of a person, one of two sides of a filleted fish, one half of an original whole. We are all continually searching for our other half.”

You follow along as he reads, the bustling world around you disappearing. You’re taken back to when he’d read aloud to you, all because he used to whisper to himself every once and again while reading and you asked him to read it aloud, to which he always obliged. Of course, the quotes he reads from the book are highlighted and annotated. It spoke to you, and without having read it together the two of you found great beauty and importance. It felt like an invisible string was pulling the two of you together. The words break down the fragile walls you put up in defence of him, you look up to him with soft eyes and the smallest of smiles. 

“Plato wrote that according to Greek Mythology, Zeus separated humans into two halves because he couldn’t control us. And he left us to search for our other half our entire lives, many of us dying in the process… That’s exactly how I felt this last week, my flower. I wanted to convince myself otherwise, I went around this entire damned city, trying to fill the void you left and nothing, nothing even compared to the love I felt for and from you. You are the destined other half, you’re the one I’m meant to find and be with. I was the most foolish man to ever walk this rock because I didn’t realize that sooner, and only when you left I realized that I was and am nothing without you, that no love, despite the plethora of it in this world, even compares to the love you give not only me but everything. I’m in awe of you, my flower. And I vow to ensure you know this every day and to never ever be the ignorant ass I was,” Ezra finishes with a small smirk. 

“You were an ignorant ass,” you confirm. 

“I was,” he agrees, grabbing your hands over the table.

  “Please allow me to worship you as the deity you are,”

“You’re not going to play Zeus and do whatever you want for your own benefit despite any and all rationale?” you ask teasingly, digging at Zeus. 

“I promise, I’ll be the Orpheus to your Eurydice.” You sigh because you know he’s won you over. You wordlessly stand from your chair, readying to leave. Ezra's heart drops and he swears he’s moments away from vomiting. 

“Will you walk me out?” you ask him coldly.

“Of course,” Ezra says, gulping down the bile that’s risen in his throat. 

When the two of you step out of the cafe you turn around and kiss Ezra. Ezra is shocked but quickly embraces you, scared to let you go and lose you. When the two of you separate, Ezra’s eyes are glossy with hope and you have a devilish smile on your face.

“You’re lucky I love you,” you say.

“Trust me, I know that, I’ve the luckiest formation of atoms to have ever been formed in the galaxy.” You can’t help but scoff as you walk away, preparing to move back in.

“Remember, Orpheus, not Zeus!” you yell back at Ezra before you disappear from his sight, leaving him giddy and high. He feels warm and whole again knowing you’ll be at his side again and that he’ll get to wake next to you and come home to you. Ezra is the only man to ever get to receive the one-of-a-kind love that you have to offer. 

Taglist: @spideysimpossiblegirl @littlemisspascal @writer-darling @avengetheunnatural @louderfortheback @currentobsessionrabbithole @harriedandharassed @kirsteng42

[freakattack]

I know I have a phobia of bugs and spiders and I know (and greatly appreciate) that you started tagging bug posts for that very reason but I have not muted the tag or turned off notifications for your blog. Reasons being 1. The phobia of bugs isn't bad enough I cant handle a few seconds of exposure when scrolling past and the more... exotic? I guess??? the bug is the the less my phobia makes me feel the effects and I can appreciate a cool looking bug (There is no amount of spiders I can stand though, even the thought of them activates the phobia.) And 2. I really enjoy your info dumps about bugs and hearing what you have to say about them, your blog is just really endearing to me, like watching a cool exotic bug wearing a top hat playing wario ware on max difficulty perfectly on the bus. Also I love me a good obscure fact.

I am in a hell of my own creation.

Do not cry for me, for I am already stupid.

Top ten funnest messages to receive after sticking my arm into a tub of cockroaches

No but you're so real for this and I am so happy that I can offer a safe avenue to learn about bugs. I actually was talking to someone at my job today about the importance of invertebrate conservation education (contrary to popular belief i do have a job and it does have to do with bugs), and a big part of that is taking away the unfamiliarity of these animals and presenting them in a way that people can relate to and appreciate. Generally speaking things become less scary the less "unknown" they are, and if the things you know about them are endearing (like centipedes being good mamas, or bees making an "oop" sound when they bump into each other), it can take away some of that fear. And you're right that arthropods are INCREDIBLY important ecologically so that's another reason I'm passionate about this subject.

That being said I'm happy to tag spiders in addition to bugs because I'm not trying to jumpscare people! That'd be counterproductive! (However if you're up for it, I have heard that the Lucas the Spider animations on youtube have helped a lot of people with their fear; it's computer-animated semi-stylized depiction of a jumping spider but it's voiced by a cute little kid, and even though it's a little corny I do think it has done a lot for spider PR. Obviously not for everyone though!) And yeah I feel you on that last point, I would never compare not liking bugs to actual bigotry (especially with simply bugphobic people, whom I am chill with) nor would I ever compare the plight of bugs to that of actual marginalized people, BUT at the same time if someone steps over the line and is viciously hateful about any animal (e.g. commenting "KILL IT WITH FIRE" on someone's pet, adamantly insisting that an entire species needs to go extinct, unloading a whole bottle of raid on 1 ant, etc.) simply because it is different or inconveniencing them, I will be very suspicious of their ability to be normal about human beings who are different or inconveniencing them. If nothing else I will think they are a massive tool!

But ya I so deeply respect your ability to appreciate the value of these animals despite your phobia, cause so many people don't even without that obstacle. Every bug on earth salutes you (from a safe distance)

Here is a pic of me playing smooth moves

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

Hiiiii, here's some thoughts and things I've been pondering on over the last couple weeks (also might delete later idk lol, take this with a grain of salt because I'm a little tipsy, emotional from pms (and maybe a little bit of heartbreak), and also maybe sorta sleep deprived. okay thanks!) Also pro tip- don't watch sappy teen rom-coms when you're already a sensitive emotional mess!!!!

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I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships, in all forms, casual, romantic, family, friendships, deep relationships and surface level relationships, coworkers, acquaintances, community, blah blah blah you get the idea. Basic human connection baby. I've never really been the type of person to be casual or surface level about anything in my life, especially relationships. I sink into connection, always wanting to know more about people, looking for the deeper connection, never really satisfied with a tip of the iceberg, never really knowing anything about each other kind of connection(I blame it on my pisces moon and cancer venus lol). And at the same time, knowing the cost of that, knowing that I could know someone so deeply and the next second they could be done with all of it, has me running the other direction more often than not. And yes I know, people will not always be in your life forever, basic human condition and all that. But taking into account freedom of choice and miscommunications and attachment styles and people's own individual baggage and blah blah blah, everything that people bring into a relationship, be it platonic or romantic, influences how long that relationship will last. At least in my opinion it does. (and just to assure, I have since learned the art of managing my expectations when it comes to deeper connections and much lighter ones, even with my love and want for deep connections.) And it is inevitable that people will leave, for whatever reason, but that logic doesn't erase the hurt from that person not being there anymore. A lot of this train of thought came from both a recent disagreement with a friend that essentially ended said friendship, and me thinking that I could subject myself to casual dating relationships as a way to re-enter the dating world. In both of these situations, I found myself feeling small, unseen and unknown, and like something that could be easily discarded without a second thought. On the friendship side of it, there was so much connection and learning about each other that in the end, didn't matter and I ended up giving too much of myself to someone who wasn't able to reciprocate. And in the realm of dating and casual relationships, I thought I could re-enter that world, go on fun dates, be casual and learn what I like and dislike in all of it, learn to not jump into things so quickly, just have fun dating for once rather than having heart palpitating anxiety about it. Lol, nope, what dumb bitch thought that was a good idea??? It was fun for a half a second and then just made me feel frustrated and used(both emotionally and physically, hello orgasm gap) and honestly kind of exhausted at the whole of dating(but I'm trying to not give up for whatever reason) (also turns out men still think it's a great idea to send unsolicited dick pics in fucking 2024. Please, for the love of god, don't.) And sitting in all of this, having these experiences, feeling grief over all of it, is the thought that I am simply not made for superficial relationships. Sure there are people I may have a more casual connection with, but the feeling of being unknown to someone, of resigning myself to be the thing they want in order to have connection, feeling like someone isn't even the tiniest bit curious about me, is not something I was made for and no matter how much I try to fit myself into this idea of relationships that is so persistent now, I'm inevitably dissatisfied with it and feel worse than if I had just kept to myself. Connection and community is at the core of what it is to be human and we've gotten so backwards with that. If you read any or all of this, I'm telepathically giving you forehead kisses. Suffice it to say, I am a committed, loyal, curious, big feelings, social, connection oriented girlie and the way that relationships have become so superficial is so fucking soul draining.

[angelofverdum]

Yellowjackets S02E09

I love Yellowjackets because I love these characters. I care for them. They are just kids trying to survive. I also think that's the main problem. They thought about the young yellowjackets storyline but failed to figure out how to make the adult storyline interesting.

They can't just expect the actress' charm and chemistry to carry the adult plotline.

Anyways, I love that in this episode, they showed how Shauna does her thing. No wonder my girl is messed up. She has to do it alone. I guess before wasn't that bad bc she was cutting animals, but now she is cutting people that she knows. Damn, not too much on her.

Also, of course, Adam's body had perfect cuts. Shauna used to do it with her eyes close. She is just a kid, please.

The "haunting" scene was boring. Like, those women weren't going to run around those woods, that's for sure. They walked like three steps before Callie showed up.

I love that Callie shot first, then talked. She could have pointed that gun and asked them to back up, but she just went there mad as hell.

I have to confess that Adult Nat was my least favorite. I don't if it was because of Juliette's performance or what, but I didn't care about her, but that death was so dumb and lazy. Some people used the word corny.

Putting aside the fact that they killed her with fentanyl, so the world now thinks she was an addict. Christina Ricci is like two apples tall. Juliette could have easily smacked that syringe out of her hand.

Then they add slow motion, flashbacks, hallucinations, and music. Like, damn let me sit with it. Let Misty realize what she did.

The cop's plot was too long and uninteresting just for Walter saved the day.

Why did Jeff send Callie to look for Shauna alone in an unknown place that's probably a cult in the night? Dumb

Shauna saving her diaries and Jackie's dress was the best thing about that fire. Bitching about how she should have been the antler queen? real

I'm glad that Callie showed up there to save Shauna. But what were they doing at Lottie's? There was no reason for them to be there.

At least Nat didn't die in that ugly ass dress with those ugly ass shoes.

For a moment, I thought they were eating Javi raw. The fact that Travis could eat Javi's heart without shame and Shauna had to hide to eat Jackie's ear.

Nat the antler queen? Seems fake, but go off I guess

The way Taissa said it was "Van's plan." Like damn, nobody put a gun to your head to do it.

Everything was Van's plan so she could live? Honestly, it seems possible.

They send Lottie away again. They used to be a proper team. This is why Jackie was the captain.

They knew what had happened to Lottie. And all of them are so messed up. Taissa literally killed her dog and almost her wife. Why do they keep treating Lottie like shit?

Mind you, they never found Krystal's body. They could have fed themselves for a while.

How is Ben still standing? The last thing they ate was Jackie, and they were almost hallucinating when they were hunting Natalie. Ben hasn't eaten since before Jackie. How is he strong enough to burn the cabin? He can't be living on gay hallucinations only.

For the next season, I'm begging Showtime and the showrunners or whoever is responsible for the show promo: stop with the spoilers.

Don't show episodes to people, don't release whole ass scenes, and be careful with the teaser and promo pic. Educate your actors so they don't post things before the episode on social media.

[digitalta]

Update on Eye-Brain-Fuckery (March 5th)

I have Trigeminal neuralgia, it’s the nonsense best fit diagnosis my doctors and I have settled on since original symptoms happened in 2020 or so. Essentially, left side of my face hurt, ear go ringggggg and sometimes I get a little wobbly. New flairs now extend into my eye socket, with visual disturbances (colour flashes) and some peripheral vision issues.

Sunday while at work (I work at a hospital) I had a flair around noon where face hurt extra. Then apparently over a course of an hour I got a little more grouchy and my coworkers (nurses) got Very Alarmed until they informed me my eyes were very incorrect. I checked and lo and behold, anisocoria. This normally is due to pressure in the brain, like from stroke, brain injury, brain bleed, ecetera. I’ve had this happen before but normally only for a few hours. 6 hours later I talk with some nurses who are very alarmed it hasn’t ended yet. After 8 hours I head into my hospital’s emergency room because best case: at least I have a documented flair, worst case: huh maybe there is a brain bleed this time

So, I’m there for HOURS, bored AF. I get a CT scan and it comes back clear. My Ocular nerve IS intact and working, but my pupil is having absolutely no reaction. With this normally there is some sort of movement in your eye- but with mine it was completely absent. So I’m there for hours, and doctors send me home Bc they can’t find anything wrong

I go to my neurologist the next day after about 24 hours of this because my eye is still not reacting. My neurologist instantly sends me to a different hospital emergency room, this hospital specializing in neurological injury, surgery, and rehab. I get there, and am checked out after now like, 30 hours of this nonsense. I get ANOTHER scan. Eye still not responding.

Although? For an unknown reason my iris IS somehow recovering and my pupil is shrinking. No response. Scans come back perfectly clear, they cannot find anything wrong with me. They send all the medical students to my room to check out my funky eye.

So I wake up today (Tuesday) and my eye is still funky. It’s starting to barely react to light, but it’s going down. No idea what is happening to me.

All of this being said, the left side of my face has been in what I call a “flair” of my Trigeminal neuralgia. It feels like I’ve gotten stabbed at multiple individual spots on my face, with my ear either crackling oddly before very loud tinnitus or sudden vertigo. It happen, but this is without any doubt the longest it’s lasted.

It is currently 7:30pm Tuesday so approximately 54 hours after onset, and still having pain and problems. I love being “so quirky” (last pic I took on tumblr camera which apparently flips you huh fun fact)

UPDATE: it is now March 22, face hurt syndrome still hurt. Eye is back to normal. More medications have been piled on me and by god it is insane. Here is hoping more testing will figure this shit out.