#i love writing but trying to make a book work has been the bane of my existence since i was like 19 tbh

[nordic-language-love]

i got a kobo libra for my birthday and my brother sent me a gift voucher for the online store but now i have to decide what i want and it’s Stressful

[g0dlyunsub]

hey!!! Ugh I just love your account! I have a request for Spencer Reid x fem reader!! Can you do one where he is always working and it makes the reader upset bc he is cancelling dates and coming home late and kinda neglects her feelings and doesn't really notice how much it affects her and how sad she gets and then he misses their anniversary dinner and she breaks and tells him that it makes her upset when he's gone all the time and he just feels so awful bc he's so in love with her and never wants her to feel that way because of him and apologizes and reassures her and makes sure she feels loved!!

ty for the request and i loved the idea for this one!

wishful thinking.

pairing :: spencer x fem!reader

warnings :: angst with a fluffy ending; very mild makeout session at the end :3

word count :: 2.4k

author’s note :: i kind of giggled at the ending as i was writing it, but i’m pretty proud of how this one turned out!

accompanying song :: neverthere by xander

spencer’s phone is quite literally the bane of your existence.

you know what to expect whenever it rings, so you hate when it actually does – its earthquaking vibrations and trilled beeps tear the happiness straight out of you.

it’s the second date in a row that he’s had to pass, and you wonder if you should just stop trying so hard. was it selfish to want to have him all to yourself, to have him seated right across from you, sharing your laughter as you pass him his plated pasta? were you expecting too much, imagining a serene life with him ten years down the road, perhaps with kids or pets of your own? was it unfair to think that you could craft a lie, telling him your stomach hurt really bad, so bad that you would have to curl up on the floor and pray he’d stay by your side just this once to comfort you?

all you ever wanted was spencer. more specifically, you wanted spencer during your first three dates, when he’d silence all of his phone calls, and wave them off like nothing even though you insisted he take them. maybe if you didn’t bring up the importance of taking work calls, none of this would have ever happened. maybe it was all coming back to bite you for your non-confrontational nature, since you could never plead him to actually stay.

but he’s your boyfriend… and that’s all that matters, right? after all, he has lives to save – people whose names are called out during prayers day and night by their loved ones as they cling on to the sliver of hope that your boyfriend and his team promise during the darkest hours. granted, spencer would drop everything if you were in a similar situation, but none of your problems have actually been life-threatening. but a girl can dream, can’t she? your first anniversary date was when spencer promised to make amends, a formal compensation for all of the past dates that he missed and left you feeling empty on your shared bed, stains of mascara chalked up on your dry cheeks.

“i’m so sorry, honey, i’ve just been… called in for work,” spencer stands, dusting the napkin that was folded nicely on his lap. you watch as he takes a sip of his glass of water, then walks over to you to plant a kiss on your forehead.

he runs his fingers along the velvety texture of the sleeves of your dress, and you offer him a weak smile.

“it’s okay, duty calls, right?” you feel the tears surfacing and you have to fight yourself to not blink. it’s too early to cry.

“i-it’s a really bad one this time, and i hate to do this on such an important day-” spencer begins to apologize frantically, and his face marks an expression of genuine concern with his brows furrowing and lips twitching.

“it’s okay. you need to go, i understand.” you state plainly, and you immediately feel shameful – your words are too assertive and snarly for how you normally respond.

spencer pauses briefly, fidgeting with his fingers, before he gives a slight nod in your direction. he then walks over to the couch, grabs a book, and tightens the clasps on his bag. 

“i’ll be back as fast as i can,” spencer utters quietly and walks out of the door. when the apartment door locks with a click, you break down immediately.

at first, the tears fall one by one. but then, a salty stream evident of pure emotional wreckage makes its way into the slight gap of your lips, and it’s an unstoppable domino effect. your shoulders shudder and heave as you struggle to catch breaths in between, and you splutter cries of your boyfriend’s name. 

maybe it would’ve been better to just stay as conversational partners, to exchange updates once in a while when he’d actually commit to a time. it was your fault for getting your hopes up high, and all of this – fanciful dinner and dressing your best for the occasion – was wishful thinking. you just didn’t want to admit it.

“y/n?” 

you look up to see spencer in front of the doorway, and his bag that was barely holding on to his shoulder drops to the floor with a thud.

you quickly look away, brushing the tears away with one arm and sniffle before choking out a response.

“i thought you left already, why are you here?” again, your words come out icier than you had hoped and hit you with a sharp pang of guilt.

spencer narrows his eyes ever so slightly as if he’s scrutinizing you, observing your body language. it doesn’t take a genius to know that you’re upset.

“i was going to. realized i forgot-,”

he clears his throat when you raise your eyebrows and proceeds, "i misplaced my wallet."

he slips out of his loafers, shoving aside his pair of converses that lie adjacent to your pretty pair of heels. he walks over to you, and you realize that you’re still seated at the dining table. you must look so stupid right now, waiting as if he’d just be returning from a bathroom break.

“i need to head out, but i promise… i promise we’ll talk about this really soon. we’ll have the anniversary dinner and-”

“did you even try?” you blurt out, and you look up at him with your puffy eyes glazed with tears.

a deathly silence clouds over the entire apartment, and you’re thinking of two options: leave the apartment and go run to a friend’s place, or confront him and see whether making amends – again, wishful thinking – would be possible.

“y/n. please believe me when i say that i’ve tried to, i’ve tried-”

you slam a hand to the table before standing up, your face twisting into an expression of outrage.

“no, because then you would’ve silenced it. you would’ve cut the call, just like you used to.” you fire your words at him as your hair sticks to the drying tears on your cheeks, and you begrudgingly wipe at your face. 

a slow sigh escapes from spencer’s lips, and he looks at you with those eyes – the eyes that seemingly warn you, saying you don’t want to go there. not right now.

but you double down on him, the rage fueling your words as you lash out. 

“it was just this one time. i only wanted you to stay for dinner just this one time.” you helplessly drop your hands to your sides, the tears landing on the floor with soft plops.

“i know. and i’m terribly sorry.” spencer bites his bottom lip and takes a step toward you. but you take a step back, and maybe that pulls a string between the two of you, because you can see how his shoulders tense up.

“look, can we talk about this when i get back? i’ll make it up to you, i swear.” he combs through his hair, the stress almost palpable as it leaks from his shaking fingers.

while you know he has to head out again, the way he so easily brushes off the conversation like it’s something he doesn’t even want to think about feeds into your disbelief. soon, however, your anger subsides into a tired frown. 

“i don’t know, you might come home late… when i’m asleep or something.” you look at the wall where a photo of the two of you is framed, and you weakly smile at how happy you seemed then. 

“i’ll give you a call, is that okay?” he searches your face for any signs of approval, but you’re zoned out thinking about the past, of how everything used to be.

“whatever, just go.” you wave him off and walk to the couch, where you lie down and turn against him to face the plush fabric.

spencer sighs, and his hand looms over your head momentarily before he grabs his wallet from the table. you hear a faint sorry trail from behind as he leaves the room, and your nails claw at the arms of the couch before the darkness cradles you once again.

it’s 10:30 pm, and you hear the doorknob click again. you had just cleaned up the dishes after eating dinner alone and left his portion in the fridge. you were now changed into your pajamas and getting ready for your night routine.

you peep out of your bedroom door to see spencer, his suit all wet. he looks at you as he takes off his shoes, and a sullen expression paints his face. did it start raining after he left? you realize that you were mostly cooped up in the bedroom since his departure, so you wouldn’t have known.

bravely looking up at him in the eye, you state: “you came back early.” you hate how unwelcoming you sound in his own home.

he pauses before he sets his wet bag on the floor and removes his blazer jacket to throw over a chair. 

he approaches you, hands in his pockets and hair twisted in matted curls. 

“hm.” he grabs a towel from the closet and makes his way to the shower, brushing past your shoulder. you feel an icy shudder spread through your spine after he closes the bathroom door.

was he giving you the silent treatment right now? 

you hear the water start from the bathroom and you sink into your bed while turning to twist the lamp lights on.

after all that torturous waiting you went through, he was giving you the silent treatment?

fifteen minutes later, a knock reverberates from the other side of the bedroom door, and even though you don’t respond, spencer steps in. he’s changed into a t-shirt and black pajama pants, and he drops next to you on the bed.

“i’m taking the week off.” 

the sentence startles you, and it’s something so unexpected you choke on your own saliva.

“what, what do you mean you’re taking the week off?” you ask him, finally turning to face him in the eyes. his brown irises blaze into your own.

“i’ve been pushing off everything you wanted to do with me — things that I wanted to do with you — and i’ve just been…” he turns away to play with the wrinkles on his pants as he speaks, picking out the dust that lies embedded between the folds.

he pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a deep sigh. he continues, “i don’t know if it’s all worth it.”

silence casts a blanket over the two of you.

“spence,” you say after a while, and hesitantly lay a hand on his thigh.

“nothing’s more important in the world to me than you. you and your happiness. i know you love this job and i know you love helping people. you’re such a kind hearted man, and it’s why i fell in love with you in the first place.”

when spencer gives you no response, you confess: “spence, i get jealous sometimes.”

this time his eyes widen, and he looks at you.

“you do?” he asks softly, peering into your eyes and you cave instantly. 

��of course i do. it’s… everybody wants you, spencer. we all need you, whether we realize it or not.”

he scoffs.

“but i only want you.”

his voice is raspy yet mellow at the same time, the smoothest stream of sweetness seeping through your eardrums. god. you can never stay mad at this gorgeous man, the same man that made you cry on numerous occasions just counting the past week.

“you need to do more than that, if you… you know.” you quietly murmur as you fidget with the hem of your nightgown.

“i know,” he speaks with a hushed tone. “i told hotch, and i told him it was going to happen whether he liked it or not. the demands of this job are… tough, but i don’t want to miss out on all the things we planned together. i won’t.”

you start bawling right when he delivers the last word, and all the tears that you were holding back spill over your flushed cheeks. your boyfriend immediately leans in to console you, pulling you into a tight embrace as his chin rests on top of your head. 

it’s okay, he murmurs reassuringly. you ease into his touch, and you realize how much you missed this. how much you missed spending time with him.

his left hand tugs lightly at your soft hair while his right rubs your back in smooth circles. 

“i missed you,” you speak with a hushed voice, looking up into his eyes as a glassy coat of tears blur your vision. 

he cups your face with his hands before whispering, “i missed you too.”

you continue to blabber words of love-stained anguish but he cuts you off short, pulling you in for a short kiss on your lips, which are now tainted with your tears.

“you taste… salty,” he whispers, giving you a slight smile as he brushes off the rest of your tears that weigh down on your eyelashes.

“it’s because of you, silly,” you drawl as you taste the salty residue of your tears.

yeah, spencer responds hesitantly. but he’s wearing a small smile, tilting his head to one side as his eyes emit a glint of tranquilizing peace.

he reaches into his pajama pocket and takes out a piece of candy. you curiously watch as his fingers quickly remove the wrapper, revealing a glazed cherry-flavored sphere. 

“may i?” he asks, and his faint voice is a gravitational force that you can’t resist.

you briefly respond with a lazy hm? before he plops the candy into your mouth and kisses you again. the sweetness explodes like fireworks with his warm breath, and the sticky layer of sugar melts like acid on your intertwined tongues. you let out a satisfied hum when you pull back, and it’s undeniably attractive the way spencer licks the corner of his lips.

a tear falls from your eye again, and this time, it’s not out of sorrow.

[crownedinmarigolds]

Welcome to my art/hobby/fandom/etc blog! My name is Kelsey, CrownedinMarigolds on Tumblr, and I've been on this website since 2012? Yep I'm an ancient being. If you're interested in supporting me or giving me a little tip for doin' what I do, here is my KO-FI! Zero pressure of course.

My favorite subjects to draw are primarily OC based, and the sandbox I play in is usually Vampire the Masquerade/World of Darkness! But of course I love all manner of TTRPG. While I have things I like consistently, I will reblog and talk about all kinds of different things that may be out of left field! This is my mish-mash blog, just be warned! I'd also like to shout out my true love, my muse, my baby-daddy: @thesixthplaneteer. He's a very talented writer and a lot of my work and his work are intrinsically tied together! Most of my OCs are drawn with his and his work provides some context for all the fun things I draw for us!

My art commissions are: open!

My quick-sketch commissions are always open!

If you're interested in commissioning me, please see my commission information here! Here are examples of my work//my art tag in case you'd like to get a feel of my art style before making a decision. I love a messy and painterly style so please understand that before reaching out! I am open to art trades!

Here is how I usually schedule my time when I'm working on commissions, in case you were interested!

Tag Guide (If you want to block or what have ya!) : I self reblog often, so it is under the self reblog! tag. I often reblog others' commission post under commission boost I post personal little dribbles about my life under personal Information on my various Vampire the Masquerade stories/Chronicles: The Poisoned Peach: ATL by Night - my actual VTM game I'm playing with my husband. It follows Khloe Osborne, a fresh Thinblood trying to navigate the vampire world without really knowing anything. She has a coterie and the Camarilla currently runs Atlanta, Georgia... but for how long? Wilted Roses - The overarching full canon to the plot of our World of Darkness. This is a mixed bag of information and stories that aren't necessarily in a Chronicle but flavor the world! Nyth and Noa are probably the stars of this overall story. OC Directory beneath the cut, just felt like making it!

My OCs:

Noa Hidalgo-Giovanni - my main OC, my Giovanni/Hecata necromancer! I will probably draw her across multiple AUs/fandoms so don't be surprised to see her.

Khloe Osborne - my current VTM/V5 PC in my husband's chronicle, The Poisoned Peach, ATL by Night! She is a Ventrue Thinblood, in a coterie with three other Thinbloods as they try to stop the Atlanta Camarilla from enslaving the local Thinblood populace! I also like to put her in Baldur's Gate 3 art too.

Parvati - another favorite character of mine. She was originally my first real Pathfinder PC that I played for a long time. I also started writing a book about her titled Crowned in Marigolds, sort of based on the Pathfinder world she had been placed in. She is now my Vampire the Masquerade Ravnos Elder who is in the Ministry/Followers of Set!

thesixthplaneteer's OCs (the OCs I treat like mine but are actually not!)

Dr. Nythanel Loken PhD- Elder Thinblood, the Thriceborn! The big favorite and Noa's other half. Cute and full of the audacity!

Ralph - The perfect man - a Thinblood that got cursed with the Nosferatu bane (lite). He's Khloe's boyfriend in my current Chronicle. Former Spec Ops but Embraced out of spite because he was hot. (Did NOT go well for the sire!)

Stakebait Coterie - The group Ralph and Khloe are a part of which also includes Christian and Kyle! The four best friends that anyone could have!!

[bookshelf-dust]

another request for Gareth! what if artist!reader asks Gareth if they can draw him and he gets all panicky and blushy🥺🥺

(don't you dare worry if I'll like it or not, I know your work is going to be amazing as always and the important people is that you enjoy writing it!)

bane of my existence

gareth emerson x gn!reader

word count: 622

warnings: swearing, fluff

a/n: hi lovely! this was fun to write. the art kid in me enjoyed it. i hope you like this too!! <333 love you!

————

You set down the piece of charcoal you’ve been using, start playing with your eraser. You stretch the putty out, trying to get some of the dust off of your fingertips.

“Gare?” You ask, something coming to mind. You’re sick of charcoal for today.

“Hm?” He’s sitting on your bed, raiding your comic book stash.

“Can I draw you?”

Gareth’s fingers freeze where they flip through an issue of Captain America, one with Sam in your favorite red outfit on the cover. The boy feels his face go red. He’s panicking.

Drawing him would mean you’re looking at him intensely for however long—long enough for you to pick on all his flaws.

“Are you sure you wanna do that?”

You nod, patting the eraser over the edge of your desk. There really is charcoal everywhere.

“Yes. You’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen. I think you should be documented.”

Gareth shuts the comic and sets it on the bed before running his hands down his face. He’s trying to hide the blush before you see it.

You look up at him. “I have a new pen I want to try too,” you say, but your voice softens even more when you notice his state. “Gareth,” you coo. “Don’t go all shy on me please.”

He puts his hands down and you grin at his reddened cheeks.

“I’m gonna hide again if you don’t stop looking at me like that.”

“I don’t have to if you’re really not okay with it, Gare.”

He finally makes eye contact with you. “No! No, it’s okay. Do I need to do anything?”

You grin again. “Nope. Just forget I’m here.”

He rolls his eyes. “That’s impossible.”

Now you’re the one blushing.

————

True to your request, Gareth does his best to relax and go about his business of sorting through your belongings. Your comic book collection is much more extensive than his, and frankly, he’s kind of jealous.

You sit in your desk chair, one knee propped up with your sketchbook resting on it.

You started off using a pencil, sketching the prettiest parts of him—which proved difficult since they’re all the prettiest parts. You decided this would be more fun than a portrait or anything. Portraits stress you out.

Now your page is full of different Gareth features. His nose, his mouth. You’re working on the eyes now, the ink from your pen spreading over the paper to give him the long and unfair lashes he has.

You’ve used the pen to hatch some shadows in the areas that need them, and even if it’s a little messy—and by no means perfect—you’ve had fun drawing him.

You stand, capping your pen. You hand the notebook to Gareth, who looks over it so intently that it makes you nervous.

“Damn,” he says.

“Good ‘damn’ or bad?” You ask tentatively.

“Very good. Although I can tell you spent a little more time on my eyelashes than probably necessary.”

Your face splits in a grin and you take his in your hands. “Your eyelashes are the bane of my existence, Gareth Emerson.”

He laughs heartily. “And your nose,” you start. “And your mouth. And your freckles. Your everything.”

You tilt your head back, mock swooning. Gareth is bright pink, and you soothe your thumbs over the apples of his cheeks. “You really like them though?” You ask, needing reassurance.

His eyes dart to the page in your sketchbook again. You really are talented. Everything is so simple, the lines practiced though messy. “I love them,” he says.

Gareth pauses, looking you over.

“You have charcoal on the side of your neck, honey.”

“Dammit!” You exclaim, releasing him from your hold to examine the crime scene in the mirror.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[lanternagainstthedark]

LanternAgainstTheDark's Trailmarkers

"Magic and belief, however, are like a dense forest. It is full of paths and trails and secrets. However many paths exist, however, there are 3 times that number unknown. Finding your path, treading your trail, marking your map, that is up to you. The only right answer comes from these three places in balance: Belief(from your heart), knowledge(from your mind), and respect(from your actions). Treat this sacred and magical place with respect, and you will find a place of acceptance, love, and great impact on yourself. Magic is a journey. Lace up your hiking boots," grab your lantern, "and get to walking."

I wrote this quote for the first time in a notebook. It was written after multiple false starts, and as a new introduction for a book I am still trying to write. It's a book I wish I had when I started my own path. It now exists on this tumblr, and in a google doc, and still within that notebook.

Let me be clear. My username does not in any way shape or form denote that I am against baneful magic. The "light" is representational of wisdom, knowledge, and learning. My "lantern against the dark" is my vow to learn in-spite of everything that prevents my own learning.

My hope is that my blog can be a bastion of knowledge for people who are lost like I was, in the darkness of unknowing, and being unknowable. My lantern is one of acceptance and will be here to mark the trail. I hope to help you find your lantern.

Shall we begin the journey?

Hiking Boots is a book I have the bare bones of. I have been writing it has a how-to guide for building or finding your path-because that is what belief needs. A path, one you follow or one you make. It is linked to #Hiking Boots(Magic).

Pop Culture Paganism- the bulk of my path is made along this. I will not be responding to any hate or rudeness in regards to this.

Mudoran Paganism/Hyrulean Paganism/loz paganism-Legend of Zelda based beliefs, practices, spells, and rituals. This is mostly focused on the Lady Farore, as she is who my practice is focused around. These are the major tags I use for those posts.

Emelan pagan- focuses on the practices and beliefs of the Winding Circle Temple in Tamora Pierce's books the Circle of Magic/Circle Opens/Circle Reforged. Most of the posts authored by me are for Lady Mila of the Grain. I reblog some posts from the past for others, but my focus is Lady Mila.

Minecraft Paganism- nothing posted, and I seem to be moving away, but anything that ends up here will be tagged this.

Star Wars paganism/Jedi Magic/The Force is Within Me- I have recently moved into star wars in my practice, so you can expect posts to be under these tags.

Popular Tags

epithets- I am very fond of sharing epithets- and in the PCP realm, creating them. Feel free to ask me to think of some for your deity, I would love too!

my personal practice- personal practice and UPG, as well as spell work, ritual work, sigils etc.

magic 101- anything that I think is useful for young witches and/or pagans to know!

[seamstressthepainteater]

I don’t think I really like how The Mandalorian has been MCUified if that makes sense

Like the first season was it’s own thing, Mando went to different places across the galaxy trying to hide some kid he found from remnants of the fallen empire, it was largely its own thing and helped make the Star Wars galaxy seem bigger for me. It also had its own characters that managed to be memorable and interesting. It was a unique take on Star Wars I wanted to see more of.

Then season 2 comes out, and it’s a bit larger scale wise. Mando’s gotta find another Jedi to fulfill his kid’s destiny, which brings him back to going around the galaxy finding leads on one of these Jedi folks. There are a lot of returning characters in this season; most of the surviving season one character show up for at least an episode, Mayfeld gets some damn good characterization as a former imperial after being a one-note asshole in season 1, Ashoka gets an episode to learn more about Grogu and set up her own show, Boba Fett is a looming presence until he actually shows up and fucks shit up, Bo Katan returns with her besties, and even Luke Skywalker is in this bitch. Now I don’t like cameos just for the sake of having them, but the legacy characters at least either have good reason or are done well. Ashoka needs setup for a show, Fett is finally given the chance to be cool as shit, and Bo Katan going from ruler of Mandalore in Rebels to just another pirate gives context to why Gus Fring has the Darksaber (Luke’s just kinda there to be there though). I wouldn’t like to need to watch Clone Wars and Rebels to know what the hell Ashoka, Bo Katan, or the Darksaber are if I didn’t already, but I feel they’re given just enough explanation to make sense without it. And all of it was tied up in an emotional ending with Mando and Grogu that payed off everything set up throughout the season and made the entire thing feel grounded. It was probably the best ending the show could’ve had. This was the last time I would feel this way.

When Book Of Boba Fett was announced at the end of Mando season 2, I was exited. I loved how Boba Fett was handled in Mando and hoped that the show would flesh him out better. It was then that the rug was pulled from under my feet. Like Fredrick Fitzgerald Fazbear coming down upon a poor night guard in the dead of night, I was jumped with the truth of this show. This wasn’t a show about Boba Fett. This was just a season of Mando they shoved Boba Fett on for more runtime.

Theatrics aside, BOBF was just really disappointing to me. The Boba Fett stuff was kinda garbage, they perfected his character in Mando as a brutal goddamn terminator man, then they went back and went “he doesn’t want to be a bounty hunter, he just wants to live peacefully as a crime boss or something” which felt really weird to me. The Flashbacks were also so fucking boring, they could’ve been shorted down to one episode and given more time to Boba. I praised Mando season 2 for both giving legacy characters purpose and explanation so you didn’t need to know what their deal was. But you see, I’m pretty sure Cathleen Kennedy read my complement on that, realized she fucked up by making a story that can stand on its own, used her fucking Disney witch magic to go back in time, and had the guy who worked on the writing for those episodes shot at point blank range because holy shit they fucking shattered the ball with Cad Bane.

The show makes a point of saying that Cad Bane and Boba had a history, and this confused me. They never specified what exactly this history was, so I looked through everything I could get my grubby mits on. I looked through every one of both Bane and Boba’s appearances in Clone Wars, checked comics with Bane, looked through all of the officially released media I thought could be a lead. Then I noticed something about Bane in BOBF, he had a metal plate on his head. This wasn’t much, but I thought it was something, so I went through his animated appearances one more time and noticed he had the same plate in The Bad Batch. This just made me more confused, so I checked around and found it. The “history” the show was referring too. See when they brought back Clone Wars for season 7 they took unfinished arcs and gave them new life, but some were left on the cutting room floor. I said “couldn’t find any officially released material” because what they were alluding too was an unfinished episode, you can even see the part where Bane gets shot in the head. The crux of Bane and Boba’s unfinished business was an unfinished episode that wasn’t even considered canon at that point.

This was my Joker arc.

This show was so lazy, so uncaring about making the story seem complete without supplementary material, that the only thing they did to give the main villain a connection with the hero was a vague allusion to an event that wasn’t even officially released. Could they not have cut some of the boring-ass shit in the desert to flesh out this relationship? Was it too much to ask for this show to get even close to how Mando used it’s legacy characters? Was it too much to ask for competence?

Besides that, I thought that it kinda fucked up the great ending I thought Mando season 2 had. I knew they weren’t gonna be separated for that long, but I would’ve liked them to be apart a bit longer, or have them reunite in their own show. Feel the same way about Mando’s new starfighter, I think it would’ve been less alienating to have him get that in the beginning of season 3

Speaking of season 3, it’s also kinda disappointing. I think the shift from Mando to Bo Katan was disappointing, it’s like what happened to Boba Fett with Mando ironically enough, but it’s still disappointing that in a world where it seems like almost every character is slated for their own show, Bo was shoved into Mando. I also think Gus Fring seems less intimidating, I feel him being a part of this “Shadow Empire” is less threatening than a warlord trying to bring about his own empire. It also has the same problem as BOBF where you need to know stuff beforehand. I don’t think they ever explicitly state Gideon carpet bombed Mandalore, they just kinda said it was cursed. I know it was mentioned in BOBF, but again I shouldn’t need to watch another show to understand what’s going on in this one. I’m not gonna go too long with this one since it’s not over yet, but I’m not sure it’ll fix my problems with this season.

Anyway my biggest takeaway from this is that I hate Book of Boba Fett way more than I first thought.

[desperatecheesecubes]

All righty y’all! As a celebration of passing 3K comics read and the new year here’s a list of comics I personally think are Worth Your Time. I only included runs I’ve read at least a good chunk of so if you’re personal favorites aren’t here I might not’ve read em yet, or just haven’t read enough to pull of my favorites in the case of longer runs

In (mostly) alphabetical order:

Another Castle by Andrew Wheeler and Paulina Ganucheau : A fun cast of characters, a princess who kicks ass what more could you want, really.

Aquicorn Cove by Katie O’Neill: in fact just go ahead and read everything Katie has written. It’s all lovely and heartwarming, full of diversity and genuine characters. I could not recommend enough. Great for all ages!

Avatar Katara and the Pirates Silver/ Suki Alone/Toph Beifongs Metal Bending Academy: These standalone stories have been excellent. They really fit in with the tone and pacing of the show. I can’t wait for Azula’s solo to release.

Avatar The Lost Adventures: On the sillier side of what ATLA was (mostly) but a good fun time over all.

Avatar Free Comic Book Day Issues: they’re free!

Batgirl (2000): Cass’s batgirl run is phenomenal actually. Really, for real, you should try it.

Batgirl (2009): Stephs batgirl run is shorter and you can pick up the entire thing in TPB form easily. This era of Batfam comics also has a special place in my heart, I feel like a lot of writers found their stride here. There’s room for hope and all that.

Batgirl (2011- the Gail Simone half): if you’re on Tumblr im sure you know the problems with this run. I just really love Babs, this was one of the first comic series I ever read, my introduction to Babs, and also Gail is an excellent writer and some of the stories in this run are just phenomenal all around- looking at you issue 30.

Batgirl Special (1988): you want some QUALITY BabsGirl content?? This is an excellent start!

Batgirl The Greatest Stories Ever Told: collects a number of classic BabsGirl stories from the pre-crisis Batman comics. As well as some post crisis comics I’ll be putting on this list on their own anyway.

Batgirl Year One: The definitive post crisis Batgirl origin story! I loved all the nods to what Babs goes on to do (work with black canary, become oracle etc etc) and the art is very fun.

Batgirls: Can you tell I like the batgirls? The art is fun, the stories are low stress. It’s a fun run to just pull up and have a good time with. The earlier runs definitely dealt with heavier narratives but not everything has to be doom and gloom to be good.

Batman Cataclysm and No Man’s Land: You’ve probably heard people talk this arc up before. They’re not lying to you! It’s long, and there’s a lot of batfam members active in it but it’s absolutely worth reading if you enjoy the bats

Batman Second Chances: collecting Jason’s post crisis origin (issues 408-416) plus a few other stories this is definitely worth the read if, again, you like the bats.

Batman Death in the Family: the one Jason dies in and Tim’s pre N52 origin!

Batman Knightfall: Bane comes in and absolutely wrecks Bruce’s shit what’s not to enjoy

Batman Court of Owls/Night of Owls/City of Owls: man the Court is such a cool enemy concept for Bruce. Some of the only good things N52 gave us IMO

Batman Death of the family: I just really enjoyed the whole family having to come together I won’t lie

Batman Fear State: this was an absolute mess but it was a FUN mess

Batman and Robin (2011): alright don’t murder me but I though this run had more depth of writing than the 2009 run did…. Like both are good but I kinda think this one’s better…. In fact just go ahead and read the whole Robin Requiem arc

The Batman Chronicles 5 and 10: some absolutely stellar Babs stories!!!

Batman Eternal: look at the whole batfam (at the time) go! Makes my brain go BRRRR

Batman Incorporated (2012): also known as the one Damian dies in and the one where Jason pisses himself and it becomes a plot point for some reason! Fun!

Batman Batgirl: More good Babs content!!

Batman Battle for the Cowl: All hell breaks loose in the batfam. Good chaotic fun really

Batman One Bad Day Two Face: I think Two Face is the best Batman villain and I’m tired of pretending otherwise

Batman Urban Legends 1-6: Jason almost adopts a son, Tim comes out as bi, Grifter gets up to some stuff

Batman Wayne Family Adventures: literally all fluff!! Everyone can use some fluff now and then

Birds of Prey (1999) I’m a black canary Stan I don’t know what you expected

Black Canary (1993): the best stand alone ack Canary solo. Dick and Helena steal a tank in this run, there’s a story that talks about Dinah putting on her mom’s uniform for the first time it’s all good stuff

Black Canary (2007): this is less stand alone and needs some arrowfam knowledge to truly enjoy but I want more people to love Sin (I still want her to be red canary)

Black Canary and Zatanna Bloodspell: a BC/ZZ graphic novel what more do you really need to know?

The Brave and the Bold (2007) issue 33: I will never emotionally recover. Another good Babs story!

Christmas With the Superheroes (1988): a collection of stories that are holiday inspired! Some great moments in here and a nice variety

Convergence Batgirl: I really enjoyed stepping back into Stephs batgirl run. A nice what if scenario

Convergence Superboy: Kingdom Comes Supes pleading with 90s Kon just got to me OK?

DC Festival of Heroes/DC Pride: more short story collections

DC First batgirl/joker: another Babgirl story recommendation? It’s more likely than you think

Earth Prime 4: this is a fun stand alone Stargirl story. You don’t have to watch the tv show to follow it (I say this with certainty because I myself don’t watch the show)

Extraordinary by V.E. Schwab (if you’ve read Vicious the novel first): hard to talk about this without spoiling the plot of the novel but if you read and enjoyed that this is also good yes

The Final Night: the 90s had some real bangers didn’t they? Also known for the time Hal died (for realsies)

The Flash (2011): flash fans will probably passionately inform me there’s better flash stories prior to N52 but I haven’t read em and *I* think this run is damn enjoyable. And this is my list and I can put whatever I want in it

Gotham Academy: zany wacky hijinks ensue

Green Arrow by Mike Grell: Grell knows his shit

Green Arrow (2001): look at the Arrowfam get together!!!

Green Lantern/Green Arrow Hard Traveling Heroes: politics in comics can be good actually

Green Lantern Legacy/Alliance: some of the DC graphic novels are excellent really

Identity Crisis: this story made me insane I love it

Injustice Gods Among Us: it’s not a ‘what if Superman were evil’ story so much as a ‘what if Superman lost his way and broke everyone’s hearts and then also the world’ story

Legends of the DC Universe #6-11: some great stories of Dick Grayson, Clark Kent, Hal Jordan, Oliver queen and Barbara Gordon!

Let them live! Unpublished Tales from the DC Vault! #2 and #5: great Dick and Ollie content

Marvel Adventures Superheroes #1: Spidey, Hulk and Ironman have to dog sit, what could go wrong!

Nimona by N.D. Stevenson: I would die for literally every character you don’t understand

Nubia and the Justice League Special: Nubia has a really long day and we get to vibe with the Justice league gang circa 2021/2022 I’m certainly not complaining

The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang: very cute. Family friendly!!!

Robin Year One: Dick Grayson as a young Robin!

Sensation Comics featuring Wonder Woman/ Sensational Wonder Woman: Wonder Woman stories can be something so personal actually

Shadow of the batgirl: CASS!!!

Showcase ‘94 #12: more Babs!!

Starfire (2015): Kory deserves more on goings I’m not kidding

Stargirl/ Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E./Stargirl spring break special : I love Courtney she’s such a good character

Supersons: I will mourn the loss of Jon forever

Superman the death of Superman and all its subsequent parts: yeah this is a certified banger storyline. Plus it gave us Kon-the boy of all time

Superman the wedding special: whoops Clark got kidnapped and Lois has to save him!

Superman/Shazam first thunder: and then Clark adopted Billy…. Right?

Superman smashes the Klan: yeah I see why this is called required reading

Task force Z: I am willing to die on this hill

Teen Titians by Kami Garcia and Gabriel Picolo: they’re not the TTs of main comic continuity and that’s OK

Teen Titans year one: who gave the artist to draw all the kids so small and remind me that oh my god they’re just children

Thor (2014) and The Mighty Thor (2015): I love Jane

Truth and Justice (2021) #4 and #6: more batfam stories

W.I.T.C.H.: nostalgia isn’t blinding me this is good comics

Wonder girl (2021): we deserve Brazilian characters actually reflecting the culture correctly but I also really enjoy Yara.

Wonder Woman (1987) #90-100, 160-161, 206-213: definitely not the ONLY good WW stories but some very good Wonder Woman stories

Wonder Woman agent of peace/Wonder Woman black and gold/Wonder Woman come back to me/Wonder Woman Hiketeia: More Wonder Woman stories!

Worlds finest (2009): 2009-10 batfam my beloved

[nebulousfishgills]

(intrusive) asks

5, 8, 9, 11, 14, 18,

Thanks for the ask :)

5 - How often do people (not family members) tell you they love you?

Not too often I don't think, but I don't have any problem with that. You can show love and appreciation without outright saying it.

8 - Are you a jealous person?

Circumstantially. I usually just tell myself to appreciate what I do have or that my time will come eventually. Does getting fewer kudos on my fics than my friends bother me, maybe a little, but I think that's attributed to the fact that I write in more niche areas.

9 - What's the worst pickup line someone has asked you?

Fortunately or unfortunate, nobody's really tried pickup lines on me... actually as I think about it I've never had anybody come up to me to ask for my number, catcall me, or any of the like. I seem to have an aura around me and at this point it's quite funny lol

11 - What are your ambitions?

Make it through college, try to find chances to keep acting, maybe write a full book one day.

14 - What's your most bizzare pet peeve?

Having to work around my brother's hair when I'm home. Homie leaves his shavings in the sink (he's had to do full shaves of his beard since twelve or thirteen y/o) and there's always hair product gunk in it because he always has to spike his hair up really high that I usually have to be the one to clean up and it's a PAIN since that shit turns into fucking cement. Also him moving my shampoo to the floor to make room for his shower products on the tub rim... his hair is tied to his ego and it's the bane of my existence... apartmemt move in can't come soon enough jfc.

18 - Do you like your laugh?

Yeah, I'd say so, I've been told it's a good laugh. Boistrous. Although when I was listening back to the recording from when I forced @ohitshoneybee to watch Breaking Dawn 2 with me, there's one part where my laugh sounds exactly like a cartoon monkey.

[bloodsbane]

hello bane!! did you know your name autocorrects to babe basically anytime i write it lmao? anyway, are you reading anything rn? fanfiction or otherwise? any recommendations?

hehe yes i DO know this!!! my friends frequently fall into this trap, which i love, it is a delightful incidental curse related to my name that makes me smile every time it happens~ <3

and...! i wish i was but i've honestly not been reading much fic lately. it's mostly because i'm trying very hard to keep up with getting my commission work done, and laying off fic helps me focus a lot more. it's one thing if i just read something, like, 1-4k long as a treat to nibble on or finish in an evening, but i can't be allowed to tuck into a long fic lol... it'll dominate my attention span until i finish

you've reminded me though that i have a semi-illustrated book i could try reading, one i pre-ordered... maybe i will try reading it soon. it has actually been soooo long since i've read a book haha, if you don't count audiobooks anyway

[alexanicholsauthor]

Questions To Ask A Wild Rampaging Alexa...

Ripped from the website Ponly

What books can you recommend?

So many. My favorites are the Satanic Bible by Anton Szandor Lavey, The Great and Secret Show by Clive Barker, and numerous other occult and metaphysical books... my interests are all over the place!

What was the last joke that made you laugh?

I tend to laugh at everything, especially TikTok videos and memes. I can't even remember.

How would you characterize your best friend?

Selfless and brave.

Do you have a character you often compare yourself to?

No. I'm too weird to even attempt that!

Do you spend weekends with your family?

I try, but most of the time, I can't. I make up for this during the week as much as possible. Of course, my 'family' pretty much amounts to my baby squirrel and my big brother, so...

Who is your favorite foreign singer?

Shakira!

What was the last fear you were able to overcome?

It took me a while to think of an answer to this. Not because I don't have any fears, of course, but because most of the things I would consider 'fears' were conquered a looong time ago. I think the last fear I conquered would have to be social media. For most of my life, I didn't partake in it; I didn't see the need. That and all the horror stories I kept hearing acted as a serious deterrent. Now? I practically live on Twitter.

What is the weirdest game you have ever played?

Harvester. I loved, hated, and was creeped out by it - all at the same time.

What is the most mind-blowing piece of art you have ever seen?

I'm amazed by most forms of art, especially those done with obvious passion. I'm a huge fan of passion; it makes for fantastic creative works.

What is your favorite computer game?

Skyrim! Though The Witcher 3 is rapidly moving up on my list of favorites.

What things would you like to change in the world?

1. Racism. It baffles me how something as simple as skin pigment can make people feel at odds with one another. We seem to be the only creatures on the planet that does this... why?

2. Sexism. The idea that just because I'm female, I am somehow less than or weaker. Physically, yes, I understand, but there are far more important things than physical strength. In today's society, physical strength is low on the totem poll.

3. Religious entitlement. Just because someone has a different religion than you doesn't mean they are any better or worse. They are simply different. That would be like hating someone because they eat American cheese and you don't. Food tastes are different depending on the person... so is religion.

What dish would you never be able to refuse?

Eggs Benedict. They are the bane of my existence (health-wise).

What type of stereotypes are you most sick of?

That women are or should be subservient to men. That we like to be catcalled and anointed with endearing names like 'honey' or 'dear' by absolute strangers. That we want to be hit on or touched by people we don't even know. That we want unsolicited pictures of dicks.

Is there something you are afraid of asking in public?

I hate asking people for anything, even small, simple things. My big brother scolds me for this all the time. He says I have too much pride; I say I'm fiercely independent. That 'pride' has made me strong, self-sufficient, and smarter than your average. However, I do see his point: I can sometimes get overzealous...

If you could start this day anew, what would you do?

Find ways to get even more accomplished than I did. I'm huge on efficiency.

Between DC and Marvel, what would you choose?

Marvel. I don't think I've ever read a DC comic, while at one point I was actually collecting Marvel!

What is/was your favorite class at school?

Athletics. I've always been naturally athletic, so this was my favorite class. Academically, it would have to be English. Especially when we studied classical literature, like myths and pantheons. I fell in love with writing because of those.

What do you think happiness consists of?

True Friendship.

When you feel there is someone annoying at a party, how do you react?

I actively avoid/ignore them.

Have you ever had an urge to leave your city and live somewhere in the countryside surrounded by rivers and magnificent mountains?

Oh, hell no. I am way too bougie to make it in the country! I love my conveniences; there is no way I could live without them. I mean, I COULD, but I definitely wouldn't like it!

Do you have an animal you adore?

Dragons. I've always had a deep fascination with them, even when I was a little girl. If you're talking about real animals, it would have to be dogs. I love them so much. I like cats too, but I adore dogs way more.

Hearing a well-respected person criticizing your loved one, what would you do?

Light. Them. Up!

What is your happiest childhood memory?

I have so many that it would be difficult to emphasize just one. Most include my big brother; very few have anything to do with my 'parents.'

What is the thing you are most grateful for?

Life.

Would you never try rather than die trying?

I try to never say never, but skydiving is high on the list. And Bungie jumping.

Have you ever had any experiences to meet your favorite artist?

I don't have a favorite artist. More on that in a bit.

Can you cut relationships with people pulling you down?

Yes. I have a history of it. In fact, I've become good at it!

What is your dream job?

Being a writer.

What makes you feel proud of yourself?

Completing a story and then receiving feedback on said story. I put a lot of work into my works, so when it's all finally finished and in the hands of my readers - and they take time out of their lives to give me their opinions on it - bliss. I mean, they could be doing anything else, but they used their precious time to read one of my works. Fucking mind blowing!

What inspires you the most?

My baby squirrel. This little wench has not only beat cancer and was a trooper throughout the entire thing but also quit smoking and drinking cold turkey. I am honestly in awe of her, and she inspires the shit out of me when I'm undertaking, well, anything.

Do you think money can buy happiness?

Actually, yes. I know conventional wisdom says 'no,' but I believe it can.

What is your favorite flower?

Actually, I'm not too fond of flowers. Venus fly traps, maybe? Black Dahlias? Black roses?

What are three words that make you smile?

I love you. I could insert some weird or funny answers, but honestly, those three words mean a lot to me. They always put a smile on my face (not when said by strangers, though. That's creepy).

Can you name a place where you have never been to but wish to go?

Japan! (That one was so easy 😄)

What human qualities do you cherish?

Loyalty and honesty.

What language do you want to learn?

Japanese!

Who is the person you admire?

I admire several people, but I'm going to assume you mean "the most." That would be my big brother.

What is your favorite midnight cocktail?

I don't drink alcohol, and even when I did, I never drank cocktails. So I have no idea.

What is the best advice you have ever received?

This is easy: "Don't gamble anything you can't afford to lose."

Who is your favorite artist?

I don't have favorite artists of any genre of work; I have favorite works. And they are legion. I've always wondered about people that are fans of other people, stating that everything they make is golden. That isn't possible, nor is it true. Yes, you can have artists that resonate with you more often than not and be fond of those artists, but I don't. Not truly.

How do you deal with criticism?

It honestly depends on the person and reason. I firmly believe in the Rorschach (ink blot) test, which states that people project themselves onto you. Their observations, tone, and worldview are truly representative of the way they think and how they see themselves. People will snitch themselves off pretty quickly if you allow them to speak long enough.

[kitewithfish]

Wednesday reading meme

What I've Read

The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik - Oh, this is how you end a trilogy. This books took the relationships and themes and even the monsters that have followed the main character from the very first book, and hunted them all down to pull the last thematic dregs from their depths. I didn't quite cry when I found out what really happened to Orion, but man, it hurt. It hurt so good. El Higgins will always live in my heart. 

Mutually-Assured Destruction by Sineala -  Bucky/Tony 616 Marvel comics in the 1960s - Identity porn! 1960's Tony Stark is Iron Man and nobody knows. So when the Winter Soldier comes out of the Soviet Union to ask to join the Avengers on the condition that he doesn't ever tell anyone his name or reveal his face, even to Captain America.... Tony thinks, oh, maybe we could be friends? Maybe I can be a little bit myself with this one? And things snowball from there. This is a great fic by an author that loves the 1960s comics version of the Avengers, and honestly, the tone fits those comics so well. This fic was slipping into a warm bath - angsty just in measure to the comfort. I was following updates from Sineala's Patreon while she was writing it and I was so glad to see if come out!

a simple thing- Chapter 47-  by iridan - Star Wars, Mandalorian, Boba Fett/Din Djarin. - Chapter 47 just hit this week, which means we are ONE CHAPTER FROM THE ENDING OF THE FIC,this is not a drill. This fic is 765K words and Chapter 47 alone was 27K words, and I heartily recommend it if you want to watch someone really live into their tags that say " Din 'I Can't Talk Right Now I'm Doing Queer Person With Religious Trauma Shit' Djarin" and "rebuilding a culture is hard." Honestly, great work on the cultural stuff about how there's been tons of contradictory ways of portraying Mandalorians in Star wars, and this fic makes them all feel like people who have been out in the world, trying their best. 

Fic Rec based on Scholomance series: If you want a smaller, single person version of the themes in The Scholomance Trilogy, I heartily recommend two other works by Astolat (aka, Naomi Novik in her fic writing persona) -

-Heal Thyself a Draco post-canon character study about what damage using Dark Magic does to a person, and what it takes for Draco to really come out of it the other side. (Technically Harry/Draco, but only towards the end, well after Draco has done the work of fixing himself.)    

-Victory Condition: A Tranformers fic in which Megatron and Optimus Prime have to actually talk thru their world views, and Optimus Prime has to face that the Golden Age he remembered was built on the suffering of people he didn't see. (Honestly, I kind of recommended The Scholomance series to someone based on the idea that El Higgins is a Megatron with a bit more support and Orion the human is pretty clearly based on Orion Pax aka Optimus Prime, but with some complicated history.) 

Honorable mentions to fic that didn't quite make the novel-length cut: Don’t be afraid. by spqr -Star Wars, Anakin/Obi-Wan, ages reversed. I... I find this pairing normally not for me, and I am aware that this is working on me because I love fic where a traumatized character is confronted with love and care, and well, this did the job. 

What I'm Reading

Homeworld Elegy - Ashcroft Writes - Star Wars AU - Obi-Wan/ Cad Bane - 138K words -Once I got some momentum on this fic, I'm just flying thru it. I'm in a section that creates a whole history for Cad Bane and Duros and their world and his childhood romance with a friend, and I'm like, I thought this was just a mean blue man in a big hat, and now you are making my feel emotions??? It's just working for me really well. 

Two Old Women by Velma Wallis - I'm just not finishing this very quickly, dunno why. The voice just feels like listening to someone telling a story. 

What I'll Read Next:

Library books are on hold for this week because I'm going to be traveling, unless I get finished with them before I go. 

Darth Maul: Lockdown

Whale Rider

Thrawn -Heir to the Empire 

Maybe Spinning Silver 

Tiger's Daughter

Things I own:

Might re-read City of Lies in order to get back on the page for the sequel book. 

Hunting Towards Heartstill -blackkat

Think of England - KJ charles

[blastedintouniverse]

Its always been me and myself writing about things that don't really matter or matter just enough for me. Someday, there might be some coherence into all that I have produced in writing but not today. I'm vey well aware that people aren't interested in my creations since they're either too outdated or so many others exist to take their mind off reality and practically its too difficult to even show up on anyone's feed plus there's plagiarism in case I become better or maybe even at this stage. If I haven't mentioned it before, people are despicable in my opinion but right now its more for myself than others, thats why I'm glad. You can take away my unrefined work but look out for a much better one cause... I HAVE A DREAM.. and someday I'll realise it or maybe take it with me to the next life or the next dream cause this life is one if you really look at it. I have always liked to keep it short in person no matter how elaborate my feelings. Maybe that has been my bane now. Its been a long time since I did this I feel and somethings have changed but not the ones I'd liked to. 'What should I do', I ask myself at moments like these and its pretty clear but then there's reality and it almost ALWAYS gets the best of me. Hey, I'll get it someday.. I'll be there someday..

And I'll be able to say yes this is what I wanted irrespective of whether I'm happy or not. And unlike this moment where I try to live between the crevices of incidents, I'll be truly living at the mountain of life no matter if it'll be steep and no matter if I'll fall several times but I'll get there and really LIVE. This is just the closest maybe to what I could have wanted or maybe the farthest, its hard to see when there's always a sword hanging over me, admittedly this is only way out but have I become too comfortable in my sadness? I have always been, that much I can really and honestly admit but is it enough. Oh! The mountains call to me, no matter what thats one thing I know I can always fall in love with NO MATTER WHAT. NO MATTER WHAT.... Someday, I'll have that answer sitting with a book curled up with a view, I won't describe it now so as not to spoil it but I'm pretty sure it'll be something close to my dreams. :') And be able to create something that everyone who reads it would be glad to have read that piece. I know I'm far away from that right now but I REALLY hope I never stop trying. And, my love you know I would cherish you more than anything once I realise my dream. Cause, if not this life than you know we have a pact that extends beyond death and the universe cause I have seen planets full of you and still no way to reach them today. But I'll be exploring all your glory at this place or the next cause I know I'll create an opportunity even if the universe becomes me one day I won't give up on you. Since, I have seen people make mistakes but you know what never does? Nature, my love. There's a pact of peace between us that you've always provided me and next it'll be my turn and it would be my absolute pleasure, my love.

[thehiddenself]

Autistic traits - a lived experience

Perfectionism - this has been the bane of my life; it works its way into every aspect of my day to day experience. I tie myself in knots trying to achieve ‘full potential’ (the 100% outcome) and to be the best at everything and anything I put my mind to. My attention to detail, whilst well suited to certain aspects of life and work, means that some things take twice as long as they might otherwise - like writing the perfect email or the perfect letter (so often a handwritten letter making it as far as the postbox must be the third or fourth iteration. Similarly, with work projects the intensity of effort put in from the start can easily lead to exhaustion and burnout… and the work therefore being left incomplete, unfinished, and calling for attention

Black and white thinking - a bedfellow of the perfectionism. All or nothing. This often means my instinct is to give people only one chance - if they mess up “it’s over”; this is particularly true with those closest to me, as I have invested a deeper level of trust in them. Woe betide anyone who does not treat this open-hearted trust with care. All of this despite my having studied psychology and the notion of ‘good enough’ and the 80/20 approach. If my husband and I have a serious argument then it’s clearly “the end of our marriage” - luckily so far he has managed to talk me around from this extreme! He says I only have two gears… neutral and 6 (in bed or 100 mph)

Taking things at face value - to the point of gullibility. The school bully would tell me I had to sit in the cold changing room corridor until she called me back into the common room or I would have to explain myself to the headmaster for disobeying an older pupil, so out I would go… with laughter emanating from the other side of the door. I have a high IQ, but I trust others implicitly and cannot fathom someone being ill-intentioned; I am easily manipulated and taken advantage of

Executive function challenges - I am intelligent and highly capable of many things I put my mind to, and I am definitely one to call in a crisis (hyperfocus is my superpower). But I cannot for the life of me keep my home organised and the past four decades are littered with ‘the unfinished’ - higher education courses, work projects, baby books for my children, family photograph albums. My master to do list has 221 items on it. Some have languished there for years (even though they require attention and completion). I have 20 different to do lists in a bid to prioritise: today, ASAP, home, work - and so on. Anything with a deadline is assigned a date and automatically appears on the today list as this date arrives; then it just depends how my executive functioning is that day. Some afternoons I’ll exclaim “I am BOSSING life!” (I talk out loud to myself - another autistic trait apparently), others I need to leave the to do lists and reconnect with nature instead

Non-gender conformity - my childhood was marked by Corgi cars and Lego; I loved Sylvanian Families too, but more for exploring psychology and the interplay of family dynamics than for their cuteness. Not for me anything pink or fluffy. I am much more at home in trousers than a dress (I tend to wear the same clothes for days on end, usually a variation of jeans and a jumper), and I like nothing more than geeking out on cars (their aesthetic as important as their performance) and ski equipment. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I drive fast and ski fast. I love fixing things around the house - my one successful contribution to domesticity!

Obsessive interests - for me this has been intense focus on the human experience. The study (over several decades) of anthropology, philosophy, psychology, psychoanalysis, psychotherapy, and neuroscience; also an obsession with medical research and finding the flaws in potential misdiagnosis or malpractice (including cardiology, neurology, psychiatry)

Mental health challenges - I have a history of eating disorders and low level anxiety. The former began at 11 (my arrival at secondary school) and ended at 30. Incidentally, this was when my husband and I embarked on our relationship and was the first time I had felt truly seen, understood, and supported. I am able to be myself with my husband in a way I have not experienced with anyone else (not even my close family); no need for the masking or camouflaging of my true self. However, neither of us knew the full extent of what this actually involved until I was in my 40s and the burden of life demands led to burnout

History of sexual assault (as an adult) - again, I have no doubt that this has to do with taking people at face value, trust and pure faith in the goodness of humans, and being naive to others’ intentions. This has not been helped by my fight or flight response, which turns out to be “freeze” in stressful situations. This has happened on several occasions, and the first experience did not integrate itself into my conscious effectively enough to act as a warning for future occurrences

Direct honesty to the point of bluntness - I am aware of the social expectation to pad brutal truth with niceties, but it depends how I’m feeling on any given day as to whether I am able to offer these platitudes alongside an honest opinion; telling a white lie to avoid hurting someone’s feelings does not come naturally to me, but I can understand the social construct around such lies. Lying feels like swimming against the current, I’d rather be living a straightforward life of full truth

Exhaustion after social interaction - whilst I enjoy spending time with friends, I much prefer these interactions on a one-to-one basis; or at the most perhaps four of us enjoying lunch together. Large gatherings tend to set me on edge even weeks before the day itself, not helped by prosopagnosia which means it is unlikely I will recognise people who know we have met before. I have learnt that it is easier to act as though one has met someone (and confuse a stranger with this) than to offer an acquaintance a hand by way of introduction (to which they then take umbrage). An exception to my social angst - a room packed full of strangers - is a party at which I can dance; I lose myself in the music and it brings sheer joy

Hypersensitivity (sensory processing issues) - I could not swallow lumpy food as a child, particularly if it was soft such as yogurt with fruit in it; the lumps had to be strained out or I would gag. Even the thought of rice pudding makes me anticipate the same sensation. Bright sunshine in my eyes makes me feel anxious and unwell, particularly in winter when the sun is low in the sky. Wrinkles in clothes; labels; certain fabrics; interruptive noise - the buzzing of a fly, the dripping of a tap, a radiator on full, the sound of chewing or swallowing, heavy breathing; there are many more - but all make me want to retreat (or run as fast as I can) to a quiet, darkened space!

Food - as a child I was referred to as being like a hamster; I would sit with food stored in my cheeks. I could not eat red meat and would be left at the table long after Sunday lunch had finished, with a cold slab of lamb or beef in front of me (I later learnt I lack the digestive enzyme for red meat, but I think it was also something about the texture as I could manage spaghetti bolognese and beef burgers. I lean towards crispy foods, and eating the same thing every day is quite usual for me. If left to my own devices I would subsist on a diet of cheese on gluten free crackers (I’m coeliac and have Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, so gluten is out)

Interoception - I can often reach the end of a day and realise I have forgotten to eat anything; it is highly likely that I will have forgotten to drink any water all day either. Even when I manage to eat, the drinking side of things seems to elude me. Due to chronic pain as a backdrop to my every day, I’m also seemingly unaware of certain pain signals (usually caused by acute injury). In the past this has meant continuing a sporting or daily activity with a fractured bone or torn ligaments until it is no longer possible to ignore the injury

Mimicry - perhaps harder to discern in a medical setting, but I will often wait for cues as to how to interact before mirroring the person I’m with; this will often result in my adopting their accent too, which I am fully aware of but can’t seem to curtail. I also often finish a movie and realise that I have assumed the characteristics of one of the fictional characters I have been watching; I need to sit still for 20 minutes to come back into my own space. The only “me” I trust as being truly myself is the one I find at home on a quiet weekend with just my husband, children and dog for company

Sleep issues - where do I begin?! I find it hard to transition from day to night; a natural night owl, I will stay up into the early hours regardless of what my body is trying to tell me (see interoception). I also have little sense of the passing of time; so I can put my children to bed and know that I should be in bed by 10pm or 11pm, but will find myself eventually climbing into bed at 2.30am with no real sense of where six hours have disappeared to. This means I am sleep deprived, often functioning on an average of only five hours sleep each night

A deep thinker and feeling ‘different’ - even when surrounded by loved ones, a sense of otherness prevailed throughout my childhood and into adulthood. I sought safe ground in the form of my journals, writing profusely day in and day out - words spilling onto the page; reams of thoughts on my theory of being. ‘Cogito ergo sum’ my anchor in a sea of uncertainty. Well-intentioned family would urge me to leave my journals and join them in conversation, but in those conversations I felt lost - as though I understood only half the language, grasping at the underlying meaning of it all. On a clear night I would often gaze up at the stars, tears streaming down my face; “I want to come home now, I want to come home” my sorrowful mantra. I had landed on the wrong planet; I was the same, but different

Time alone - no matter how much I love my family, I will always prefer to spend time alone. It is a basic need and how I recharge my batteries. In my mid-20s I was so overwhelmed by life that I booked a flight to Australia (I live in the UK) and moved around various rented beach cottages for a few months, spending day after day on my own, walking on the beach and playing my guitar. I found a small group of wonderful friends who, looking back, were almost certainly the same tribe as me. I would spend time with them, singing and dancing, then time alone - rinse and repeat; this worked for a while and I was genuinely the happiest I’ve ever been, but eventually I bought a 4x4 as an escape route ‘to drive the coast solo’

Emotional fluency - I found myself unable to engage with my emotions, and to understand what they were, until in my late 20s I embarked on an art therapy foundation course and ascertained that sorrow and sadness would pour forth when I listened to music or switched off my analytical brain and created some form of art. At the time I thought these modalities were the whole key and that I had finally discovered how to open the door to myself; the real me, my truth. Looking back with the perspective of hindsight I can see that this was only a glimpse through the keyhole

Social cues and nonverbal communication - to think about social cues brings back awkward memories of incredibly awkward moments. It is as though at birth most people were given an instruction manual for life and some of us missed out. I feel as though I have for the most part made it up as I go along, finding a way to navigate 21st century life with some level of effectiveness and success but often getting it very, very wrong; and then invariably spending far too much energy working out what I should have done differently and kicking myself for “not having known”. This extends to not having a very strong radar for facial expressions - I can see the obvious (rage, abject fear, grief etched on a face) but not the nuances

Inability to edit conversation - if I start talking about an experience, it is likely I will go into every possible detail (even when I try to check in and remind myself that this can bore people and to keep words to the bare minimum for the story being told). If I start talking about one of my favourite topics, good luck to the listener! I would like to think I provide them with fascinating facts they will feel enlightened by and which will prove life-changing for them; however, this rarely proves to be the case much to my bemusement. I find it really hard to understand that some subjects just aren’t as interesting to others as they are to me. Like the risks of anticholinergic medication in the elderly population and those with dementia. Or art therapy as one of the most effective modalities for being able to help children access their emotions. Or the genius of Leonardo Da Vinci. When I was 21, I attended a party and at the dinner sat next to someone who had requested this specific seating arrangement by the host… I figured this out and decided to dazzle him with how amazing Da Vinci was; at the end of the night he told me that it had been the most boring conversation he’d ever had)

Planning ahead - I drive my husband crazy (in general), but specifically because of my need to plan ahead, to manage my expectations of what will take place within the next hour or two; for example, “Ok when we get home I’ll do X, you do Y, and the children can do Z”. Whereas he just wants to… g o w i t h t h e f l o w! But he gets it. In an ideal world I would be appraised of the layout of any new building I need to visit (for work or other); another way to manage expectations and lessen the potential for anxiety. Literally “The main door is here, then you turn left, then you take the stairs, then you walk down the corridor…”

Stimming - these aren’t behaviours I’d ever really thought of as stimming, but in social situations (or the lead up to them) I will subconsciously pick my finger cuticles until one or more are bleeding; while driving long distances I bite at the inside of my lips, usually until they bleed; in moments of anxiety I find myself pacing and/or wringing my hands; I click my fingers repetitively; will always find something to fiddle with, usually a pen to twirl in my hand; repeat “Ok, ok, ok, ok” or “I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this”; one of my favourite ways to self-sooth is doodling

Selective mutism - at the age of 11, on starting secondary school, I lost my ability to speak to strangers. Which meant almost everyone I encountered on a daily basis. Looking back now I can see that I had gone into a deep state of shock. I stopped speaking and I stopped eating. I withdrew into a limited world of white/beige food (rice, bread, cheese) and silence. I folded my arms across my chest as a barrier. One girl I met recently reminded me of this - she had been in the sixth form when I arrived and remembered me for my huddled posture, crossed arms, and mutism. Only weeks before, I had excitedly asked my father to arrange saxophone and Italian lessons for me. The saxophone teacher turned out to have ulterior motives which sickened me to my core… another shock to the system. I was lost, cast adrift in a stormy sea on the darkest of nights, and I had no idea I could tell anyone. Any sense of self I had developed by then evaporated

Burnout - I look back now and can see the major moments of burnout; when I was in my mid-teens I left school with chronic fatigue and spent a great deal of time in bed; in my mid-20s I packed up and left for Australia for peace and quiet (I even changed my name when I arrived there, creating an entirely new persona); and 2022, approaching my mid-40s (which is what led me to embark on this particular journey). Interestingly, my mid-30s were a whole other level of exhausting, but at the time I had two tiny children depending on me not to drop any balls… somehow I pushed on through

Co-morbid ADHD traits - whilst my attention to detail is to the nth degree, there are times (not least in week four of my hormone cycle) when I make careless mistakes and chastise myself for these; I can be easily distracted - unless in hyperfocus mode on something of particular interest - and it can take me a while to settle back into full focus on what I was doing; I often fail to finish tasks as I forget about them (I describe this as jumping from lilypad to lilypad until the first few lilypads are a distant memory); I geek out on lists and systems, files and folders, creating order from chaos… however, unless a task is aligned with something I love or I’m excited about, I can be extremely disorganised; I will actively avoid things I don’t like doing (think tax return) until the absolute last minute - at which time it is like birthing a baby whale; I often lose things of significance - such as external drives with family photos, my wallet, phone, car keys, house keys

A few other things…

Synesthesia - I have sequence-space synesthesia (see my separate post; I envision the year laid out as an oval with the months at various points, and as time moves forwards I move along the oval)

Flat tone of voice - I have a monotone speaking voice, but I can sing with perfect pitch (and play pieces of music by ear having heard them briefly)

Numbers - I’m fascinated by numbers and patterns; I remember phone numbers, registration numbers, driving license numbers, credit card numbers, post codes, and birthdays with ease

Order - I love lists and plans and spreadsheets, and will spend hours working on data analyses

To be continued…

[wildwood-reader]

Reading Update #10

December 4, 2022

Recently Finished

BOOKS

Understanding Chinese Fantasy Genres by Jeremy Bai

First Read

Edition: Paperback

Final Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️.25

Final Thoughts: I'm not gonna lie, when I saw the synopsis for this I was hopeful this may be a somewhat in-depth guide to elements of those three genres (wuxia, xianxia, xuanhuan) and the background to them. Alas, it wasn't, but I still learned some things I didn't know before, so it was still worth it. 💪🏻

Currently Reading

BOOKS

The Bane Chronicles by Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan and Maureen Johnson (with illustrations by Cassandra Jean)

Re-Read

Edition: Paperback

Progress: 350/507

Thoughts: Damn, I completely forgot how hard The Fall of the Hotel Dumort hits, seeing Camille and the other vampires so affected by the cocaine in their prey's blood. 😰 Also Raphael's story is so interesting between his snark, his self-deprication and his absolute love and loyalty for his family to the point where he practically tortures himself to make sure he won't be a danger to them. I love him very much.

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

First Read

Edition: Paperback

Progress: 62/399

Thoughts: I'm really enjoying The Bane Chronicles, but I also wanted to read something on the side and since I absolutely loved the Princess Bride movie, I figured why not just pick up the book? 😋 The introductory part about the author was a bit boring, to be honest, I prefer the way it was set up in the movie, but now that the story really started rolling, it's really fun.

The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

Re-Read

Edition: Paperback

Progress: 92/375

Thoughts: This is a buddy read with my roomie/bestie who is reading it for the first time ever. I've been so in the mood to re-read the series lately and I'm really excited we finally are. 😋 Just as good as I remember. 💯

FANFICTION

Pain is only a Pulse by ReyloRobyn2011

Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Progress: Chapter 5/5/?

Up-to-date? Yes

Kudos: ✅️

Thoughts: A new chapter got uploaded just earlier today, which I’m gonna read soon. 👻

Heaven Has A Road But No One Walks It by Silvestris

Fandom: The Untamed

Progress: Chapter 48/48/?

Up-to-date? Yes

Kudos: ✅️

Thoughts: No new chapter since last week, so just sitting here patiently, waiting. 👀✨️

And that's it for recent and current reads. 👻 I want to finish at least 3 books in December so we'll see how it goes. 💪🏻

As always, DNFs and my backlog are under the cut.

DNF'd

BOOKS

This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone

First Read

Edition: ebook

Stopped reading at: Page 21/181

DNF'd because: It's not at all that I didn't like what I was reading so far, I just realized very quickly that this was the wrong time for me to try and pick it up. I wanted to read something that was on the shorter side and quick to get through, but I underestimated the prose of the writing style. It just doesn't work for me right now. I will probably pick it up another time when the stars are better aligned, so this is going back on my TBR. (Btw, this was not part of my Kindle challenge, I started reading this book through Scribd)

BACKLOG*

BOOKS

Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowell

First Read

Edition: Paperback

Progress: Page 102/341

Thoughts: This is a buddy read with my bestie. It’s still on hold, but we might pick it back up before the end of the year.

FANFICTION

Red Azalea by CeNedraRiva

Fandom: The Untamed

Progress: Chapter 112/137/?

Up-to-date? No

Chapters Behind: 25

Kudos: ✅️

Thoughts: The stars are still not aligned for me to continue it just yet, but I’m really excited for everything that’s coming. 👻

Setting Fire To Our Insides by StarsAlignNomore

Fandom: The Untamed

Progress: Chapter 14/23/?

Up-to-date? No

Chapters Behind: 9

Kudos: ✅️

Thoughts: Y'know what, I think I will be ready to continue it soon; it fits my vibe hunger just enough, so we’ll see. 😋

Impossible Life (Series) by Comfect

Fandom: The Untamed

Progress: Part 1/3

Finished Reading? No

Parts Behind: 2

Kudos: Part 1 ✅️

Thoughts: Not sure yet when I’ll continue this, but I’m looking forward to Part 2.

Fall of the Crimson Flower by AkatsukiShin (in artistic collaboration with brilcrist)

Fandom: Word of Honor

Progress: Chapter 2.5/8/?

Up-to-date? No

Chapters Behind: 6.5

Kudos: ✅️

Thoughts: I want to continue it soon, I promise! 🙈

*Backlog refers to books and fic that I’ve started reading but have since put on hold due to various reasons

[hwangcore]

pinned! — k.sm

warnings: smut, reader has a bit of a hand kink (me too babe), oral sex and orgasm denial (f receiving both), they fuck against a door, unprotected sex (please don’t do this at home), soft dom seungmin makes a return <3

wc: 2.9k

note: ty to the anon who requested this!! it is very self indulgent i will not lie, but i had fun writing it!!

enjoy <3

If Kim Seungmin was one thing, it was the bane of your existence.

Okay, maybe you were being a little dramatic.

Kim Seungmin was many things. He was quiet for the most part, but also thoughtful, funny, sweet, and he was definitely the cutest boy you’d ever met. Kim Seungmin was without a doubt the best boyfriend you could’ve asked for.

But right now you couldn’t focus on any of that. You weren’t thinking about his thoughtfulness, like when he got you that butterfly bracelet you’d been eyeing for weeks (the one that was currently on your wrist, because you refused to ever take it off). You weren’t thinking about how funny or sweet he was, or any other parts of his personality that you’d fallen head over heels for. No, you weren’t thinking about any of them.

Because right now Kim Seungmin, who was sitting across from you at one of the tables in the library meant for studying, was twirling the stupid little puppy pen you’d gotten him between his stupidly long fingers, making you unable to focus on anything else besides how hot your boyfriend was with his stupid, veiny, attractive hands.

So yes, Kim Seungmin was the bane of your existence, and the cause of all your problems.

After what was most likely several minutes of you staring at his hands and imagining all the nasty, dirty, pleasurable things he could do to you with them, Seungmin finally broke the silence.

“I can feel you staring you know.”

“Good.”

He finally tore his eyes away from the book laid on the table in front of him, looking up at you with a raised brow. “Are you that desperate for my attention?”

He was still messing with the pen, and you spared his hand a quick glance. “It’s your fault for distracting me.”

“I’m not even doing anything. Maybe you should work on not getting distracted so easily.”

“Trust me, you were doing plenty. Are doing plenty.”

“Am I?” He finally put the pen down to cross his arms, leaning back in his seat. He was wearing his glasses today, and it made him look even more attractive in your mind. Either your sexual appetite had skyrocketed, or Seungmin was just unfairly hot in everything he did. Probably both.

“Yes. You know exactly what certain parts of you do to me.”

“Ah yes, I’d almost forgotten about your hand kink.”

“I do not have a hand kink!” You protested, probably too loud for a library, but this was the one on campus filled with college students. They’d probably heard (and seen) weirder things than a couple arguing over what kinks one of them had.

“Really? That’s not what you were saying the other night when I had my fingers shoved in your mouth and you were drooling all over them.” You knew exactly what night he was talking about, and you fought back a shudder at the memory of how hard he made you cum.

You rolled your eyes instead. “Yeah, because I couldn’t say anything, Sherlock. You kept shoving your fingers deeper every time I tried to.”

“Like you didn’t love it.” Seungmin scoffed.

You moved to the edge of your seat and began rubbing Seungmin’s ankle with your own, wasting no time in going higher to brush over his shin and calf as well. “I never said that I didn’t.”

Even though he pretended to be unaffected, you knew your boyfriend too well. You knew exactly how much he liked the cute little pastel blue skirt you were wearing, as well as the white thigh high stockings you usually wore with it, today being no exception. And you especially knew how much he liked to fuck you in them.

The two of you engaged in a silent staring contest, practically daring the other to break first.

“Are you really trying to play footsies with me in the library?” He asked, grabbing your ankle and moving your foot back to the floor just as you reached his knee.

“Well I was…” You pouted. “C’mon Seungminie, don’t you wanna have your way with me? Fuck me until I’m crying for it? Hmm or maybe you’d want to shove me down on my knees and make me choke on you?” You bit your lip, glancing down at his hands again. “Mm, doesn’t that sound nice? My mouth on your perfect cock, your hands in my hair, pulling it as much as you like?”

Seungmin clenched his jaw, and for one brief second you thought you might’ve actually upset him, but then he was slamming his book closed and standing up.

“You’re so fucking insufferable sometimes, you know that?” He grabbed his backpack from the seat next to him before walking to the other side of the table and holding out a hand.

“Well?” He prompted when you merely looked at it with wide eyes. “You wanted me to fuck you so bad you were talking like someone in a cheap porno, and I’m not gonna do it here, so let’s go.”

“Wait, for real?” You grabbed your bag and took his hand, letting him tug you up and smiling giddily when he wrapped his arm around your waist.

Seungmin rolled his eyes as he began guiding you out of the library. “Like I’d be stupid enough to pass up my girlfriend offering her pussy up on a silver platter.”

“Kim Seungmin!”

You could feel his lips curl up into a smile as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “Oh, so now you’re shy?”

You’d barely made it into your dorm room before Seungmin had you pressed up against the door with his tongue shoved down your throat, kissing you like you hadn’t seen each other in months. You moaned against his lips, reveling in the feeling of having him pressed tight up against you after feeling needy for so long.

Eventually, when the need for air became too strong for either of you to ignore, Seungmin pulled away from your mouth with a quick scrape of teeth to your lip.

As he began kissing and nibbling on your neck, you couldn’t help but giggle. “Now who’s desperate?”

“Still you,” he mumbled, before biting extra hard on a more sensitive spot.

“Says the one trying to maul my neck.” You hissed.

He soothed the stinging flesh with a swipe of his tongue and sucked on the spot briefly. “You were the one trying to give me a foot job in public.”

You made a face, and just as you were going to tell him to never say the words ‘foot’ and job’ right after each other, his hands, the things that started it all, dropped down from your waist to your thighs, just above where your stockings ended. They slid up slowly until he had them firmly planted on your ass, and squeezed.

He moved his head away from your neck to brush his lips against yours. “And you know exactly what this skirt does to me, honey.”

You held back a smirk, blinking up at him innocently. “The thigh highs too, right?”

“You’re a menace to society.”

You moved your hand down from where it was resting on his chest to cup him through his jeans. “You know what they say baby, you are what you eat.”

Seungmin shook his head, but you could tell he was trying to hold back from laughing. “I hate you.”

“Love you too.” You pecked his lips and squeezed his dick. “Now, are we just gonna talk and grope each other or are you going to throw me on the bed and have your way with me?”

“Actually I was thinking-“

“That’s dangerous.”

“-that we could skip the bed today.” His fingers began playing with the band of your panties, snapping the elastic against your hip.

You narrowed your eyes. “If you’re thinking about shower sex you can forget it right now. My knee still hurts from slipping last time.”

“No, not the shower sweetheart.” He kneeled down suddenly, pulling your underwear off and stuffing them in his back pocket. “I was actually thinking about just taking you right here.” He bunched your skirt up and began leaving soft kisses along your thighs.

“H-Here?” You stuttered. “Like, like right here? Against the door?”

“Against the door.” He hummed, kissing along your hip bone, getting closer and closer to where you needed him the most. “Is that okay? Can I have you right here honey?”

“Yes, yes, please, I-“ You gasped as he grabbed your thigh and moved it to rest on his shoulder, exposing your pussy to him. “I’ll let you fuck me anywhere Seungmin just please do it now.”

“I’ll remember that.” He mumbled, burying his face in your cunt and licking a wide strip up your folds before stiffening his tongue and pushing it inside you as far as he could.

“Fuck! Fuck, Minnie, Seungmin, oh my fucking go-“ The hand not gripping your hip and holding your skirt up moved, and suddenly his thumb was rubbing slow, wet, circles on your clit.

The sensations of his mouth licking, sucking, and kissing all over your pussy along with the perfect amount of pressure he was using to stimulate your clit was pushing you towards the edge faster than you could comprehend.

“Seungmin, fuck, I-“ An extra hard suck made your eyes roll to the back of your head. “I’m gonna cum, please, please, can I cum? Seungminie? Can I?”

“Hmm,” The vibrations from his mouth made your legs shake, but then he was pulling away with one last lick to your clit. “No.”

“Seungmin!” You whined, trying to escape the tight grip he had on your hips, but to no avail.

Eventually, when you finally stopped thrashing and simply leaned back against the door, Seungmin stood up and gathered you in his arms, letting you rest your head on his shoulder and nuzzle into his neck. “Are you done with your tantrum now?”

“Fuck you.” You muttered. “You’re an awful, rotten, terrible person.”

“Oh really?” He kissed the top of your head. “I guess I should go home then, since I’m such an awful, rotten, terrible person. Surely you wouldn’t want someone like that to fuck you, no?”

Your grip on his shirt tightened. “Don’t you dare.”

“Then let go of me and let me get you ready for my cock.”

“I am ready, I’ve been ready, just stick it in already!” You whined.

Seungmin sighed and kissed your forehead. “How romantic.”

You glared at him. “If you wanted romance you should’ve asked Felix to date you.”

Your boyfriend jerked back as if he’d been slapped and scrunched his nose up in a look of disgust. “Are you trying to make my dick go soft? Because I can assure you, mentioning my roommate is the fastest way to do that.”

“Come on Minnie,” You huffed. “Don’t you wanna fuck me? Get your cock nice and wet inside my hot, tight, little pussy? I promise I’ll treat you so good.”

Seungmin sighed. “And the bad porno talk is back.”

“Well that ‘bad porno talk’ just made your cock twitch against my hip.” You raised a brow.

His cheeks flushed a soft pink. “Shut up. Do you want me to fuck you or not?”

“I think we both know the answer to that babe, do you even have to ask?”

“Not really, no.” Seungmin turned you around and pressed down on your back, making you arch so your ass was sticking out. “I just like hearing how desperate you can get for me.” You heard a zipper being pulled down as well as the shuffling of clothes, before he pressed up against your back and you could feel his cock rubbing up against your pussy, coating it thoroughly in your slick.

“C’mon Minnie, please, please,” You were getting worked up again, but you knew Seungmin loved it. “Want you so bad, want your cock so bad, please fuck me.”

“Alright sweetheart, calm down.” He kissed your cheek softly and rubbing his hands up and down your sides in an attempt to soothe you. “I’ll fuck my pretty girl just like she wants, don’t worry.”

While one of his hands moved up to your blouse to start unbuttoning it, the other went down to guide his cock into your soaked pussy.

“Fuck-“ He breathed once he was buried to the hilt inside you. “You really weren’t kidding about being wet, were you.”

You shook your head, focusing on how good it felt to finally have him inside you after being desperate for him almost all day.

His other hand finally got your blouse unbuttoned, and he wasted no time in pulling the cups of your bras down and replacing them with his hands, squeezing and rubbing his thumbs over your nipples. “You okay for me to start moving sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” You whimpered. “P-Please move.”

He pulled his hips back slowly, making sure you felt every ridge and vein on his cock, before shoving himself back in. It only took a few more thrusts like that to have you whining at him to go faster.

“But I thought you said I could have you any way I wanted? What if I wanted you like this?” He moved his hips away, leaving you with his cock buried only halfway inside.

“Seungmin!” You sobbed, feeling tears start to form in your eyes. “Don’t tease me, please, just-just want you to fuck me like you mean it.”

Seungmin pressed back up against you, burying himself as deep inside you as he could get. “Poor baby,” He kissed along your shoulder, up your neck, all the way to the corner of your mouth. “Look at me sweetheart.”

You turned your head and immediately his lips were on yours, kissing you deeply.

“You really need it, huh?” He asked breathlessly after breaking the kiss.

You nodded pitifully. “Don’t wanna think about anything else but you and how good you make me feel.”

“Alright sweet girl, I’ll be nice.” He pressed another kiss to your neck.

His next thrust, and every one after that, felt like anything but him being “nice”, but the amount of pleasure and pure fucking relief of finally being fucked like you wanted was too much for you to try and say something sarcastic. You couldn’t think of anything but Seungmin, Seungmin, Seungmin.

“Fuck, baby,” He moaned, voice deeper and breathy, and you couldn’t help but clench around him, loving the fact that you had just as much as an effect on him that he did on you.

“Fuckfuckfuck- Sweetheart, darling, don’t fucking do that or else I’ll cum before either of us want me to.” His right hand left your breast to smack down harshly on your ass, and you bit your lip to stop yourself from doing something embarrassing. Like whining just from having your boyfriend spank you.

“Seungmin, Minnie,” You panted. “Please, gonna cum soon, don’t stop, don’t stop.”

“Yeah? Is my pretty doll gonna cum for me?” His thrusts stayed the same, no speeding up, or slowing down, nothing. It was the same, rough yet steady pace he had set, and the consistency drove you crazy, edging you even closer to your release.

“Please, please, please!” You weren’t sure why or even what you were pleading for, but Seungmin seemed to know your body better than you did, as the hand previously gripping your ass slid around your waist and down to where the two of you were connected.

All it took was one, harsh rub on your clit paired with the fingers of his other hand pinching your nipple, and suddenly your pussy was clenching around him right as you came with a loud sob that vaguely sounded like your boyfriend’s name.

“Good girl,” Seungmin groaned. “Such a good girl for me, aren’t you honey?”

You could only manage a weak nod as Seungmin continued fucking you.

“Where should I cum baby? Hm? Where do you want it?”

“In-Inside, Minnie. Please. Wan-Want your cum so bad.”

It was like something in Seungmin snapped as his grip on you grew tighter and he started fucking his cock into you even harder. “I love you sweetheart, love you so much. You’re so good, so good, love your pussy, love your tits, love you, loveyouloveyouloveyou-“

You both moaned as Seungmin came inside you, filling you up with his hot, sticky cum.

“That was so good,” You breathed, leaning your head against the door. “Fuck.”

You could feel Seungmin’s mouth curl up in a smile as he buried his face in your neck. “We just did.”

You groaned and half-heartedly tried to push him away. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

He ghosted small kisses all over your neck and shoulder, still not pulling out. He knew you both wanted to stay connected like this just a little longer. “Says the girl who tried to seduce me in a public library.”

“Well, duh.” You rolled your eyes, grabbing the hand that was still cupping your breast and bringing it up to your mouth to press your lips to the back of it. “Have you seen your hands? They’re irresistible!”

Seungmin snorted as he pulled his face away from your neck and kissed your cheek. “I’m glad you think so.”

You sighed happily, snuggling back into him. “Love you, babe.”

“Me or my hands?”

“Seungmin!”

[augustinewrites]

Ooo! I know it’s only January but for fluff, what about dad Suna being emotional cause his daughter got lots of cards for Valentines Day & as a result was working really hard on a special one to give, but turns out the special one was actually for him lol!

ah precious suna suki 😌 the bane of suna rintaro’s existence simply bcs she’s growing up. (also tagging @sunasbabie bcs i always sob at all the dad!suna stuff you send me)

“it’s gross,” suna whispers harshly.

“it’s adorable,” you argue.

“it’s inappropriate!”

“they’re six, rin.”

the look he sends you is desperate. the look of a father who is all too aware that his baby is growing up. "but still, it's—"

“it’s almost done!” your daughter announces, holding up her ‘most special valentine’s day card’ for her ‘most special valentine.’

something that your husband can’t seem to wrap his head around. not when she'd come home with a special, handmade valentine's day card and little teddy bear from a boy in her class.

of course, you and the boy's mother had gushed over the display of young love. but suna had been less than impressed when she'd come home with the intention of making her own card for her own 'special valentine.'

"this is all your fault," suna accuses behind his cup of coffee.

"my fault?" you ask, cutting him a glare. "do explain, rintaro, or tomorrow i'll drop you off at your mother's so suki and i can use the jacuzzi in the hotel room you booked two months ago."

"it's cause she has your eyes," he mumbles, watching your daughter bounce in her seat as she doodles hearts and what you assume are roses. "they're too pretty."

okay, so maybe you wouldn't be leaving him with his mother.

“daddy,” suki asks, gazing up at rin. “how do you spell 'love you lots and lots?'

"okay, so first you start with 's-t-u-p-i-d—'"

"rin," you scold, digging your elbow into his side.

"fine, fine," he relents. "try 's-m-e-l-l-y.'"

you roll your eyes as suki blinks up at him, little brows furrowed as she smartly sounds the word out herself before writing it down in sparkly pink ink. "sm— smell— smelly?" she pauses, turning her confused gaze to you. "isn't that what you call daddy when he comes home from the gym?"

you just take the pen from her, the both of you wrinkling your noses as you giggle at an exasperated rin's expense. "why don't i just help you? your daddy's getting tired and needs to get to bed soon, you know he can't do that without tucking you in himself."

rin just grumbles, stalking off into the kitchen to warm up a cup of almond milk to give suki before bed.

he pours the warm milk into her favourite mug, and is about to squeeze a dash of honey into the mug when he feels a tug on the hem of his shirt. he glances down to see suki standing next to him, card held in her hands.

"all done, baby?" he asks, turning his attention back to the mug. it has to be one drop of honey, not two, or according to his six year old, 'it's too sticky.'

she gives another tug on his shirt, and this time rin sighs, kneeling down to her height. he's prepared to lie to her face and tell her how great it is that she worked so hard on a card for a boy. prepared to start accepting that maybe he won't always be her favourite—

then she presses a kiss to his cheek, giggling a bubbly little, "it's for you!" and placing the card - still wet with glue - on his lap. it's cut in the shape of a heart, covered in sequins and sparkles, and there's even a doodle in the corner, two stick figures (labelled suki and daddy), having a tea party. and in big, sparkly pink letters,

i love you lots and lots!

love, suki