#i loved Yejide I loved her family I loved the writing I loved the way the characters begin to intertwine I loved it

[fairiegardens]

Read in September

[greatpain]

yejide: 🍀💡 maxime: 📚💖 guinevere: 🔪👖

MEMEPROMPT : oc emoji asks

[ 🍀 CLOVER - does YEJIDE believe in luck? are they lucky? ]

kind of? yejide doesn't believe in luck exactly, but they do believe that sometimes things happen for a reason, and that the best thing to do is to just let it happen. he wouldn't attribute the recent mercy things to bad or good luck, but rather just Things That Happened and it was out of their control. they do believe in karma more than they do luck, which is why he tries to do good always to have some of that returned to him, whether that be in the form of good luck or something else. at the end of it they're a math person and luck is just statistics dressed up all pretty so 🤷

[ 💡 LIGHTBULB - is YEJIDE a planner? do they write down every small detail or just wing it? ]

absolutely no planning in the yejide muyiwa household sorry! she prides herself on being a quick thinker, and quick thinkers can't think quickly if they're always relying on pre-planned things. she much prefers the chaos of just winging it and seeing what happens. yejide claims that their best ideas come from having not planned or thought about doing what they want at all. holidays + birthdays are exceptions to this as she wants to make sure that the person they are celebrating is enjoying their day to the fullest. for celebrations, she goes all out with planning months in advance.

[ 📚 BOOKS - how was MAXIME at school? what is their best subject? what is their worst subject? do they have a favourite subject? ]

i can't lie to you max was a supernerd :( he did incredibly well in studies, consistently ranking the highest in his class, and he only really fell off after the death of his parents, after which he struggled quite a bit. over all, his favorite subjects would be biology + chemistry in high school, & biomedical ethics in university. these were also his best subjects. his worst subject over all was anything to do with economics / finance / etc.

[ 💖 SPARKLING HEART - is MAXIME a subtle or a showy lover? ]

definitely more on the subtle side! he's very generous with his affections because he doesn't see the point in hiding them when life is so fleeting (mind you he got divorced for no fucking reason?) however he has a difficult time showing it, especially outside of the comfort of privacy. he's not excessively fond of public displays of affection. shows love through quality time + acts of service and in relationships will do a lot of acts of service as he likes to feel useful. he may not explicitly say he loves you but you will know, and that goes for both platonic and romantic dynamics.

[ 🔪 KNIFE - how does GUINEVERE react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame? ]

neve's first instinct is to blame herself, especially when she sees it happen, as it did with both her friend & brother. in her mother's case, she blames that on external forces (mercy) because she, in her eyes, had no direct involvement and no influence in changing what happened. neve becomes extremely investigative during these times and will often start isolating herself as she figures it's the best way to 'solve' the 'problem'. spoiler: it isn't.

[ 👖 JEANS - what is GUINEVERE'S go-to outfit? ]

her casual / every-day outfits blend style & comfort! she generally goes for some nice trouser pants and a solid color blouse or turtleneck that works with anything. they also prefer to dress it up sometimes with a statement jacket, coat, or jewelry.

[buecherbummlerin]

Stay With Me

Author:

- Ayobami Adebayo

Publisher:

- Canongate Books

Content (Blurb):

Yejide is hoping for a miracle, for a child. It is all her husband wants, all her mother-in-law wants, and she has tried everything - arduous pilgrimages, medical consultations, appeals to God. But when her relatives insist upon a new wife, it is too much for Yejide to bear.

My Review:

I read this book within a read along on Instagram and it was allot of fun to share my thoughts about the novel with other people. Ayobami Adeboya describes with this novel how cultural and family structures in Nigera are able to affect the life of women. It was really interesting and emotional to see how cultural bonds and expectations put pressure on women and their role as a mother. Seeing Yejide struggling between these cultural obligations, her love to her husband, Akin and her wish to become a mother was really intense. The strokes of life in this story touched me in many ways. I loved the style of writing in this book and that there is such a focus on the emotions of the characters. Moreover, I liked that the book is written in Yejides and Akins perspective which made it possible to have a look at both sides and their emotions. The role of love, motherhood and marriage within cultural Nigerian settings is described in a unique way. Also political structures in Nigeria a presented, which made the whole story more inserting and authentic.

“If the burden is too much and stays too long, even love bends, cracks, comes close to breaking and sometimes does break. But when it's in a thousand pieces around your feet, that doesn't mean it's no longer love.” (Ayobami Adebayo, Stay With Me)

Resume:

The title Stay With Me means allot of things in this story and I loved that. If you haven’t read this book so far I would suggest you do it as soon as possible. Explore what Stay With Me means for Yejide and Akin and maybe what it means for you too.

[helpfulmum]

The second book I read for the Mumsnet Bookclub is Stay With me by Ayòbámi Adébáyò. It's a different book to the type I would usually read, and I think I enjoyed it even more because of that! The book is set in Nigeria, and you have to release your mind from our cultural conventions and fully immerse yourself into the book. There are two narrators to the story, a woman called Yejide and her husband, Akin. They met at university and fell in love, which is how so many stories start, but that is where the similarities end. The couple have been trying to have children for many years, and Yejide's mother-in-law has been attempting to help through as many different superstitious means possible! Yet all her help is to no avail, and this is putting pressure not only on their own relationship, but with Akin's family too. Yejide's own mother died giving birth to her, and her father's other wives brought her up, but are not in any way maternal towards her. Akin is coerced by his mother to take a second wife, in the hope that she will become pregnant herself, as she clearly believes Yejide is infertile. Initially the second wife lives in a flat, but ends up moving in with them when Yejide has a phantom pregnancy where she has all the symptoms, including her stomach swelling, but no baby. Yejide realises that the only way she is going to be able to save her marriage to the man she adores, is to become pregnant. When Yejide does finally become pregnant, it is at a huge cost to her family unit. She then has to face the prospect of sickle cell disease in her children. Instead of bringing the couple closer together, this fear deepens the cracks in their marriage. It becomes clear to Yejide that Akin has withheld painful truths from her from the very beginning of their relationship. The political landscape of Nigeria is volatile at the time the story is set and this is documented throughout the book. It is deeply troubling that people are being shot at protests and armed robbers send letters of their intent to come and rob you! It was an incredibly interesting aspect to the story, and one which I felt made it even more intense. Stay with me is a heartbreaking story of love, loss and tradition, which is emotive and poignant. I found the book incredibly interesting to read, and also quite difficult in parts due to the subject matter. The women in the story are strong, confident and independent, in spite of a very strong patriarchal traditional way of life. Ayòbámi Adébáyò writes incredibly well and has a wonderful ability to make tangled family relationships appear clearer. She does this through an intimate understanding of her character, and her concerns, her hope and her self-doubt. Whilst the subject matter of the book is intensely sad, the book itself is a wonderful exhibition of the female spirit. (function() { var li = document.createElement('script'); li.type = 'text/javascript'; li.async = true; li.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https:' : 'http:') + '//platform.stumbleupon.com/1/widgets.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(li, s); })(); HelpfulMum

http://www.helpfulmum.com/2018/03/stay-with-me-review-mnbookclub.html