#i make jokes about it because if i think about it seriously i dissolve into hysterical sobs

[nightlocked-in]

johanna, peeta, and annie getting tortured in the capitol together 💅

[freyito]

"ɴɪᴄᴇ ᴘɪʟʟᴏᴡꜱ" || ᴊᴏʜɴɴʏ ᴄᴀɢᴇ & ᴋᴇɴꜱʜɪ ᴛᴀᴋᴀʜᴀꜱʜɪ

✧ a/n: can't believe my first piece of 2024 is a part 2 to this booby fic... but goddamn i need my head in kenshis boobies rn. it'd make everything better...

🗒 cw: gn reader cause everyone can have boobs, bonus points!, not proofread

✎ wc: 750

⎯ Johnny Cage

Good GOD does Johnny love burying his face in your chest any time he can. He mainly does it when he's had a bad day. It's a great way to destress, he says. He promises there's nothing more to it. And he's right.

Sure, Johnny can be provocative and that charm doesn't exactly disappear. But seriously, this is like way too comforting for him. The stress of directing, making something worth it, it all dissolves when he's face first in your chest.

And he talks. He talks and talks. Will not stop yapping. His entire day, whatever he's done, something about movies. Every word muffled because he refuses to leave, or even lift his head off your chest.

So, when you return home after a particularly bad day, you decided to try Johnny's method of destressing. Johnny's on the couch, watching The Princess Bride for like the 27th time. It's the perfect time to strike. And strike you do.

Before he can properly welcome you home, your face is pressed between his tits within seconds. Sweet, sweet heaven. You understand now. You understand everything. Your stress dissipates, tensions of the day gone, immediately.

You can barley hear Johnny giggling and joking, you're too caught up in a euphoric daze. You only lift your head when it feels like you can't breathe. Johnny stares down at you with the biggest knowing grin ever. He's not gonna make fun of you, even with that hint of mischief in his eyes.

⎯ Kenshi Takahashi

Kenshi is disciplined, he likes to think. So he doesn't he really even think about burying his face in your chest. On top of that, he's pretty busy. The OIA, the Taira, the Yakuza... it's a lot. You don't seem him at home much.

However, in those rare moments he gets with you, some time's he'll lay his head on your stomach or your thighs. He enjoys the kind of connection, some sort of contact after a hard day of work. It grounds him.

But oh, come on. We've seen how big this guy is. Massive tits. C'mon. It takes you a while to build up the courage to go for it. But when he's wearing tank tops, compression shirts, etc... it's so hard to restrain yourself.

Kenshi KNOWS. Sometimes he does it on purpose. But when you start stalking him, keeping your distance, plotting... he wonders what's gotten into you. He makes it a game, kind of. But you're winning. As hard as he's trying to keep up with you.

You find the perfect time to execute your plan. You two are cuddled up late into the night, savoring the rare moment of touch. Without warning, you seize your chance. You roll over onto his chest, head first into those big naturals. Silence cascades over the both of you. Oh, it's even better than you imagined it. Soft... warm... inviting... it's a shame he keeps them hidden. Kenshi doesn't know how to react. Eventually, after several minutes of agonizing silence (and pure bliss between this guys pillows), he finally wraps his arms around you and even pulls you a bit closer.

⎯ Hanzo Hasashi

Hanzo also considers himself controlled. He's above acts like that. Or so he thinks. He won't outright plank into your chest, but when there's downtime, he quite enjoys laying on your chest, with your arms around him. Reading a book or something. That's just the way he likes to wind down.

We've all seen the side-boobage on this man though. Untapped market right there. It'd be a shame NOT to put your head between those pecs. Like, it'd be a sin not to.

One night, during some much needed time alone, you find yourself wrapped up in Hanzo's arms. It's a quiet night, he's finding it hard to fight off sleep. He's been busy, and it's been a hell of a week for him.

His defenses are down, so you take up the opportunity. Awkwardly, you wiggle in his arms, flipping from your back to your face. What awaits you is reminiscent of the gates of heaven. God, you could live like this.

Hanzo's mind is fried, so he doesn't quite understand. To him, you feel more like a weighted blanket. Which ends up making it even harder to stay awake. He's trying to savor every moment with you, but sleep is quickly catching up with him. Waking up to you still resting your head on his pecs however... part of him is glad he was too tired to understand.

© freyito, 2024 | masterlist | queue | kofi DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS.

[powerpuffobsession]

I don't like Vaggie getting retconned into an angel

(This one is more of a personal opinion/complaint/vent. I'm just trying to analyze why exactly I dislike this plot change. Viewer discretion is adviced)

When the leaks first said that would happen, I chose to believe it was fake until the very last second. I remember even denying it in my mind when I started watching season 1, hoping that they haven't implemented such a change....

Because the sinner Vaggie premise had so many interesting possibilities - of making her a person, someone interesting on her own, when separated from Charlie

Her sex worker past (meaning the incoming bonding with Angel Dust over shared trauma), her life in El Salvador, her death age that was supposed to be very young (early 20s dead in 2014) contrasting the other hotel residents exept for Niffty (who's from 50s), an interesting dynamic with Charlie where a human sinner gets together with an ancient demon princess - we were promised all of that.

The fandom built plenty of fancontent on the "sinner Vaggie" basis and got used to it. Not many expected an angel Vaggie, and I remember a lot of people saying that would be too obvious and boring and that that wouldn't happen

And in reality, it turned out to be even worse, in my opinion. Now Vaggie is literally one of the faceless Barbie dolls mass produced by Adam. She's so unimportant in-universe, she got broken and thrown away when she was no longer in use. Very symbolic, don't you think?

Her boss, Adam, is objectively more interesting than she is now! By becoming his inferior, Vaggie lost her miniscule interesting features in favour of being outshined by a male character! The one who mistreated her too. So typical... never change since the pilot era

To add salt to the injury, we learned that Vaggie IS in fact, short for Vagina, and that this "charming" name was given her by Adam, the sexist murderous pig! And she kept that name, as if actually liking it! Great!

(Vaggie being short for Vagatha was still unpleasant because Vivzie's dumb humour was obvious through and through, but a lot less offensive than what we actually got)

(And wow thanks a lot for that Vagatha joke with Sir Pentious. Way to mock the viewers by accentuating what was lost)

Also, Vaggie has basically no backstory now - "she was a murderer, then BAM she's not a murderer anymore, and out of nowhere she became a love interest for the main character". And her sparing a child was honestly such a cheap attempt at pulling at the viewer's heartstrings... why did she spend so many years murdering everyone in her way (making her the most effective exorcist, according to Adam himself!) but suddenly decided not to kill a child sinner? Were there no other child sinners before that one? Besides, it's hell, girl! That child could have drove his peer to suicide or killed animals for all we know!

And we are seriously supposed to care about a character who was a boring basic warrior intended for mass murdering just a while ago? Sure, that cliche can actually work with the right portrayal, but not like this! (Personally, I really felt my interest to Vaggie drop when the angel plot twist was revealed, it was like a cold shower)

That leaves Vaggie no choices of showing any personality whatsoever other than clinging to Charlie and having every moment of her life revolve around being with the princess, loving her and helping her. No thoughts, hobbies, world views and goals of her own. Come on, that's so bland!

Vaggie basically just changed one owner to another - from Adam to Charlie, to completely dissolve in their needs and wants instead of devoting some time to her own (which she can't have because she was born as a slave - that is if exorcists are created by Adam)

I feel like I shouldn't complain. I want to believe that if angel Vaggie was given time and space to develop, I'd like her, but really no... the very idea of making her part of Heaven was still-born to begin with, given the nature of hazbin hotel. This cartoon shot itself in the foot with an awful pacing. In the light of that, making Vaggie a significant part of a plotline that had no time to shine was a choice to avoid

And angel Vaggie should have stayed an urban legend in the fandom instead of making it into the show. I feel sad that for me Vaggie was ruined as Hazbin Hotel's aspect I could have enjoyed

I hope she at least gets more interesting interactions with Charlie and other characters in season 2. The ones in season 1 were not so bad, even if they're not the ones I wanted. And I'm still going to love Vaggie out of habit even if she's not the same anymore. Maybe I'll come around and start loving her as an angel eventually 🤞

P.S. why did they change the delicate white colour of her dress and the light pink colour of her bow to bright red shirt and bow? If she's a angel, wouldn't it have made more sense for her to be wearing pallette that has a bit of white in it to make her stand out? Even in that regard a questionable decision was made, dear god...

[anzulvr]

OMG YOUR WORKS ARE SO AWOOGA I CANT STOP 😭 can I request karma x reader too with a s/o that cries with a straight face and cries whenever they're seething in anger, if I tried to say smth while I'm sad then the straight face just dissolves into a mess 🤠 maybe a part where Karma makes them cry im both ways and another part someone in class makes them cry, ty if you can (> <)!!

Karma x Reader who cries out of Anger. Sorry for being late (again!!), Ily your typing is so fun😭 thank you for requesting!ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM SPOILERS ꒱

Karma is too straightforward, he makes insensitive jokes, he isn’t the most emotionally mature person and he can be pushier than most. So when you’re sitting beside him, holding back tears, he doesn’t know which one of his traits drove you to this point.

The worst part is you refuse to answer when he asks, instead opting for looking the other direction or giving him a scowled expression. He racked his brain, you guys went to school, were perfectly fine, came back and now you’re angry.

“[Name] why have you been mad at me all day? And don’t say you’re not, you keep a straight face whenever you are.”

He pries and pries until you finally blow up on him.

“So you can just throw yourself off a mountain for an assassination attempt without a second thought and expect me not to care?”

“I’m fine aren’t I? That was the best idea I could come up with, I don’t know how I could top it.” He says like he’s disappointed in the fact it failed.

“You don’t see the problem? Seriously?”

“If somebody doesn’t kill him, everyone is going to die- you’re gonna die, did you expect me to not try my ideas??”

“I didn’t expect you to try to off yourself in the process.”

“It’s not about my life it’s about yours, I’m not letting you die.”

“How am I supposed to live if you’re dead?!” Your voice only gets louder.

“How am I supposed to live if you die because I was too scared to try something?!” Karma replies matching your tone.

“Tell me you won’t try anything like that again.”

He looks at the floor not wanting to face you.

You press further “If you die over this, I’ll die with you.”

The tears stream down your face, you do your best to keep your blank expression.

He can’t be the reason you get hurt, he knows you know that much. “It won’t come to that, we’ll assassinate him together.”

୨୧

If the reason for your tears is someone else the way Karma reacts is a unique depending on the person.

If Teraska makes you cry Karma going to instigate until Terasaka gets pissed off enough to fight him.

“Making [Name] cry? No wonder you’ve gotten rejected by every girl you’ve shown interest in.”

“Ya don’t know anything- stop shoving your head in other peoples business.”

“[Names] business is mine too, if you don’t like that you can fight me over it.”

“Tch..” Terasaka looks away in annoyance

“What? You scared?” Karma isn’t giving up until Terasaka throws a punch and looses.

If Maehara and Okajima are the culprits, Karmas exposing their embarrassing secrets to the class.

“I know you two aren’t the brightest… but I’d think you’d know not to bother [Name].”

Unlike Terasaka they’re not willing to take their chances against Karma, they know it’s too late making you cry is a death wish.

“Hear us out- we weren’t trying to offend anyone we just-”

Karma doesn’t let them finish their sentence before he says “You know what I think is so funny, I found this crazy video of you guys.”

“Wait huh?”

“It’s not loading right now, I’ll post it on my story later so you two know what I’m talking about!”

“Please don’t! What even is it?!”

It’s a video of the time they tried a contemporary dance class to impress some girls and ended up tripping on each other and fighting, they kept slipping with every punch, needless to say they’re prohibited from going back.

If Korosenseis work load is what’s making you upset he’s going to guilt trip him until he agrees to excuse your assignments, “You call yourself a teacher? Poor [Name] is stressed out and you don’t care.”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to pressure anyone that’s the opposite of what I want to do!! [Name] I’ll give you an extension.”

“Just an extension after what you did? [Name] is humiliated after crying infront of everyone and that’s the solution?”

“It wasn’t that bad…” You felt better and you tried talking yourself out of it but he kept going.

“I say you excuse the assignment and let [name] rest. You’re so cruel… making your student hate school.” He knows exactly where to hit, Korosensei is sensitive enough to make that easy, he would never forgive himself if he burnt out his students.

“Okay [Name] you’re excused for the project. Please, forgive me!” Korosensei is the one crying now, but at least you don’t have to worry about the assignment anymore. The rest of the class starts complaining about it too in hopes to get it excused themselves.

[bonezone44]

Unperfect (one shot)

Summary: Sub!Reader with past trauma struggles in their relationship with Dom!Joel. Joel talks them through it.

Word count: ~1k

Tags: this is just sweet. No smut.

Story Masterlist - Main Masterlist

======

"Submitting means you don't get your way, okay?" His body is close and warm. His broad hands gliding up and down your arms while you sit on top the kitchen counter. 

Your kitchen counter.

"I know," you whisper. "But I still have boundaries."

"I know you do. Everybody does." He's watching you, but your eyes are wandering, only meeting his gaze when you have the strength to do so. "But you're fighting me left and right. Putting walls up all over the place." 

"I'm–I'm–" You want to get the words out but your lips start to tremble.

"You're scared," he says, matter-of-factly. 

You nod. "I'm gonna fuck up and embarrass myself," you stutter out. "And you're not gonna want me anymore." The tears are pouring. 

"Darlin," he says. He cradles your face and finally, you're able to hold eye contact.

Because you need to know, need to see every minute muscle movement in his face to trust him. To trust whatever he's about to say. You squeeze your hand between your bodies and wipe the tears from your eyes.

"You would have to do some crazy shit to make me not want you anymore, okay?"  He nods with a little smirk. "What do you think's gonna happen?" His smirk growing wider. "You're gonna get on your knees and suddenly start setting houses on fire or somethin?" 

"No," your lips continue to tremor, but the tears subside. "What if… what if I'm ugly? What if I … what if it's not… perfect?" What if the fantasy fails? What if I fail?

Joel sighs. He shakes his head with a shrug and a smile. "You're not gonna be perfect. Perfect ain't real. 'S all in your head, okay?" His eyes are sparkling as he looks at you. His hands move to your shoulders. "'S why you're here. With me." He pauses. "To practice bein unperfect." He tries to guide your hand and you pull it back. 

"But if I give in, if I do what you say…" Your breaths are shorter now, rising high in your chest. "Then… then they all win." The last word comes out with a squeak.

"Who?" He asks, searching your gaze as you turn your head to avoid him. "Who wins?"

"M-Men. Everywhere. All their voices in my head." You're sobbing now into your hand. Joel’s grip moves to your arms. "Like.. like… like all my fightin was for nothin. Like they all knew I was gonna lose, so what was the point of even tryin?"

"I am the only one here." His words are firm. Confident. A warmth swells in your chest. "I am the only one who matters. I am the only one who knows that you're doin any o' this." He seeks your gaze again. "Okay?" 

You can see the seriousness of his expression through your fingers, through your blur of tears. You want to believe him, but they're still there–the voices. The pieces of memories playing on repeat in your mind. "They're all gonna laugh at me. Like I'm a fucking joke."

He takes in a sharp breath. He rubs his hands up and down your arms again. He cradles your face and kisses your forehead. "Look at me," he says gently. "Look at me," he says sternly when you don't respond. 

You wipe your eyes and get a glimpse of his face before he is once again dissolved behind your tears. 

"You are not a joke." His eyes are wide and serious. "You have never been a joke. And anyone who thinks you're a joke is a piece o' shit, anyway." 

You sigh. Yeah, the voices in your head are pieces of shit, but hearing him say that doesn't really help. It doesn't dissuade them from crowding your thoughts and tormenting your peace.

"Do you know the courage it takes?" Joel asks sincerely with his hand on his chest. "Do you know the strength it takes to do this?" His brows are high and the lines in his forehead are deep. "This ain't easy." He shakes his head. "If it was, everybody'd be doin it. Out in the open." He waves his hand. "All over the place." Splays his fingers. "This is hard," he says with his brows pulled tight and his hand in a fist between your bodies. "This takes trust." His words sink into your bones. "And you are brave for trustin me with this, okay?" He huffs. "I mean it." He looks you up and down. "I-I could … I could really hurt you, darlin." His eyes go wide. "Bad." He shakes his head slowly side-to-side. "And you trust me. Every time." He sucks in a breath through his nostrils and huffs it out. "And that is special to me." His brows tense. "It is so special to me that I'm the only man you trust with this." 

His words wrap tight around you.

"I don't take any of this lightly." His thumb slides back and forth on your cheek. "If I've done somethin to make you think different, then tell me., okay?" He nods. "So I can fix it."

You nod. You're not sure when you stopped crying but your breaths are slow and even and your body feels calm and comfortable. "I just… I get so in my own head."

"I know. I do, too." A smile returns to his lips. "That's why we do this." He brings his body closer. "To remember that there's someone else out there." He grabs your hand and puts it on his chest. "There's someone else out there that we can trust." He rubs your hand, pressed to his chest, with his palm back and forth. "Someone–just one person–that we can be with. All alone. In the scariest moments. And we can come out the other side okay." 

You nod, sniffling. You don't stop nodding. You lean your head into him, into his sturdiness and conviction and comfort. Into his warmth and his assuredness. 

"I gotchu, okay?" He wraps his arms around you, kissing your crown. "That's what that means when I say that." He pulls back and so do you. You're meeting him, stronger now, face-to-face. "It means that no matter what, I'm gonna make sure you're okay." 

You take a deep breath.

"Okay?"

You nod. There's quiet in your mind again and you're easy, relaxed. "Okay." 

[a-little-unsteddie]

Give Love a Chance || Original Post

the other day @ladykailitha posted something that just sparked so much joy, i decided i absolutely had to expand upon and write a full story abt it. idk how fast i’ll work on this, as my main focus currently is on the big bang fic, but i wanted to post a prologue/teaser of sorts. (side note: i am definitely stealing piratefishmama’s layout, shhh)

enjoy! -rowan

Steve wasn’t sure how he had gotten here, to be honest. Well, he did, but he didn’t know it would actually get this far. He would like to place the blame on either Dustin or Robin—or both, both was good, too. The point was, Steve was completely faultless in it.

When Steve got home earlier, after a long day at work, he had checked the mail, as he usually does. He saw a letter addressed to him, which, to be fair, makes sense, seeing as it was in his mailbox, but it was the sender that had surprised him. It had been several weeks—at least—since Robin and Dustin had cornered him and forced him to fill out an application to be a bachelor on Give Love a Chance, and he had honestly forgotten about it. He had only agreed to submit an application to the show because he had been so sure that he wasn’t going to make the cut. Who would want to watch a dumb reality love gameshow with Steve as the bachelor? A middle school guidance counselor with a five year old daughter?

Steve had still held that opinion even as he opened the envelope and pulled out the contents. The confidence in his thoughts only waned when he began to read the letter, his eyes had slowly widened and his mouth fell open. He reached for his cell, instinctually calling Robin as he reread the contents of the letter.

“Y’ello?”

“Did you seriously just answer with—nevermind. Robin tell me why the fuck I’m staring at a letter telling me I was chosen to be on Give Love a Chance?” He asked, pacing the length of his kitchen.

“Oh my God!” Robin shouted from his phone, causing Steve to wince and adjust his hearing aid. “Why do you sound upset? This is what you agreed to! This is why we sent in the application in the first place! This is great news!”

“Robin, you and I both know that I only agreed because I thought nothing would come of it.” Steve said flatly, checking the time on the stove. He still had twenty or so minutes before he needed to leave to grab Matilda from preschool. “I’m going to tell them I changed my mind.”

“Absolutely not! I’ll never forgive you. Dustin will never forgive you.”

“What? Am I supposed to just do the show?”

“Yes!” Robin said enthusiastically. Steve let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What am I going to do with Mattie, huh? I can’t just take her with me, she has school!”

“Dustin already told you that he and Will would take her in!”

“‘Take her in’? Rob, she isn’t a stray cat. She’s a whole tiny human.” Steve said with heavy exasperation. “He may have said that, but that doesn’t mean he will say the same thing now! There’s a difference between us joking about me getting accepted and the reality of taking care of a four year old!” Steve walked to the kitchen sink, filled himself a glass of tap water and set it to the side.

“So, we ask them again! I’m sure they’ll agree! You know they’ve been wanting to adopt! You can think of this as practice for them!”

Steve stared blankly out of the window above his kitchen sink, then groaned loudly and tipped his head back to glare at the ceiling.

“I don’t think I can leave her for the month—or more—it’ll take to film.” Steve admitted with a frown. He could immediately feel Robin’s shift in demeanor with the soft sigh she let out.

“Oh, dingus. You’ll be okay. We can video call her everyday while we're gone.” Robin said softly, trying to soothe him. “I think you should give it a go. You deserve to give love a chance.”

Steve let out a loud groan, which dissolved into a soft laugh. “You did not just say that.”

“I did.”

“That was so bad.”

“I know. But it’s true!”

“You’ll be with me?”

“Every step of the way.”

“..Fine.”

—x—

Dear Steve Harrington,

Congratulations! You have been selected as one of the bachelors to move forward into the next stage—interviewing and filming! We believe you are a perfect fit, and cannot wait to have you at our Los Angeles studio!

If you are still interested, please contact us via email to receive more details about what comes next.

Thank you,

Murray Bauman, Host of ‘Give Love a Chance’

[tenjikubaby]

in this house, we simp for mocchi.

What’s it like having Mocchi as your partner? Gender-neutral HCs.

Mocchi is truer to his name around you: soft and sweet.

➼ Mocchi’s okay with being your personal teddy bear–he loves it when you cling to him. He’s soft and warm; a great cuddle partner, okay? Let’s say the two of you are cuddling, and you fell asleep on him. It would seriously kill him to wake you up. So, like a cat owner whose cat just slept on them, he just stays very still thinking, “Yes. This is fine.”

➼ Mocchi’s super weak to your puppy eyes. Suddenly, the tough-guy image dissolves and he’s willing to give you whatever you want. Watch him struggle as he tries not to fall for it, only to fail. You just have that power over him. Forget Izana, you’re his boss.

➼ There’s this cliché of boyfriends choosing horror movies so their girlfriends would cling to them during the scary parts, right? With Mocchi, it’s... different. Your boyfriend hates horror movies. He’s okay with slashers, but NOT ones with ghosts, demons, curses, and other such things. The idea of an enemy that he can’t just beat up and be done with really scares him. So when you watch such movies, he won’t be cowering but you notice how your boyfriend’s gone completely silent, potato chip bag crumpled in his fist. Help him, he’s stressed. 

➼ Mocchi gets really shy about giving compliments. See, he wants to tell you how stunning you look but the words would NOT come out and it’s almost funny how obvious it is that he’s struggling. He doesn’t want to just tell you that you look good, because “good” doesn’t even begin to summarize how amazing you look to him. After some stammering and stuttering, he’ll end up just saying “you look good,” wishing he was more poetic.  

➼ Likes to goof off and joke around with you. Tell him all your jokes because I promise you: you will be satisfied by the response. He has this loud, wheezing laugh that’s so infectious, the joke would not even need to be that funny at all. Mocchi’s laugh is guaranteed to increase its funniness. 

➼ Are your fingers freezing? No worries, Mocchi has big, warm hands. He’ll take your hands in his to warm them up. You could also cuddle closer to him for warmth and he’ll act like it doesn’t affect him but he is looking away and his ears are turning pink. 

➼ Mocchi’s very loud. Sometimes, he’d call you and when you put your phone to your ear, you hear an ear-shattering “Oi, [Name]!! What’s up?” “Hey, Mocchi? Don’t...yell into the phone, please?” He’s so loud to the point that you worry if anyone around you could actually hear him. You have to tell him to tone it down and he will! He just forgets to when he’s excited to tell you something.

➼ Makes sure you know very little about his gang life as possible. If it were all up to him, you’d never know that he and his friends were in gangs. You’d never know he was part of this vicious S-62 generation. He just wants you to keep seeing him as your Mocchi. Ghost movie-hating, human teddy bear Mocchi who struggles with his compliments and gives you piggyback rides when your feet are hurting. 

➼ He would teach you self-defense himself. While he tries his best to keep you away from his way of life as much as possible, you never know what’ll happen, right? It’s better to be prepared. So, he teaches you different ways to render a man unconscious (at this point, you’re better at it than Shion). Mocchi often goofs around but when he’s in Teacher mode, he’s completely serious. You best take these lessons seriously.

➼ Would die before telling you, but he was bored one day and started listing down possible names for your future children (or pets, if you don’t want children). When you find it and ask what the names are for, he snatches it and tries to bring up something else. You can clearly see that he’s turning red though.

➼ Once borrowed one of your hair ties, which he kept forgetting to return to you. It was never returned at all. When it’s not in use, he wears it on his arm sometimes--kind of like his lucky charm. He’s never without it. Even in juvie, he kept it with him and never once lost it. Is it a simple black band, a beaded one, a scrunchie? What this hair tie looks like, I leave up to you.

➼ Mocchi likes to pinch your cheeks. He’ll do it first thing when he sees you, or just out of the blue. Sometimes, he’ll do it when you’re angry which either sets you off even more, or you just find it so silly that all of your anger just evaporates. I suggest doing it back to him. 

➼ You frequent this one restaurant. It’s not fancy, but he knows the staff and they know you two. You do go to other restaurants, but this one is special. It may not be the best—sometimes the ramen is quite bland, but this is your spot. Many stories, jokes, and sweet words were exchanged here. While he was in juvie, you would still come here from time to time. The staff, who are already his friends, are willing to talk to you if you need it. 

[huggybug]

Would you please write one with either Matthew Tkachuk or Tyson Jost where you get in a fight and you try to leave the house but he won’t let you, like “I know we’re fighting but I need to know you’re safe” 🥺 thanks!

her crazy’s beautiful to me - matthew tkachuk

word count: 1.5k words

it’s my first fic back! who’s excited? me! title from beautiful crazy by luke combs because i was listening to it and i started thinking about matthew so then i came to write this:) anywho.. please enjoy and (as always) feedback is greatly appreciated

“You can’t just expect to get away with this Matthew!” You groaned in frustration.

“I’m not trying to get away with anything!” He exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air.

“You’re telling me you didn’t hang around a group of girls all night when you were in LA?” You ask, looking him dead in the eye.

You knew that he did. You saw the pictures that were all over social media. How could you not? You family and friends were all sending them to you, to make sure you saw exactly what your boyfriend was up to on the last stop of their road trip.

There weren’t exactly incriminating. He was sitting at a table with Johnny and a couple other guys, the girls were standing next to the table, leaning in a little too close for your liking but ultimately, they weren’t doing anything wrong.

“Babe, seriously ask any of the guys. I didn’t do anything” He tried to defend himself.

“I don’t want to ask the guys Matthew! I don’t want to ever be in a position where I have to ask someone whether my boyfriend cheated on me or not” You were done. He had been defending himself ever since he got home last night and you were able to escape it today, you went for a workout and then a facial before going grocery shopping, anything that kept you out of the house and away from Matthew.

It was a preventative measure. You weren’t sure what you wanted to do. As frustrating as this situation was, you were sure that it wasn’t something to end your three year relationship over but at the same time, you weren’t ready to kiss and make up.

There was a lot of things you wanted to say… more specifically yell but you were holding back. You knew that if you did that, Matthew would come right back at you. It was the one thing you loved and hated about your relationship. You and Matthew were just like on another; overly emotional and hot headed at your worst times.

Your friends said it was a recipe for disaster. That two people who were so alike would never work together, that you’d end up ripping each other apart within weeks but you didn’t. Your relationship was incredibly healthy and it always has been. Then again, you’ve never seen pictures of him surrounded by girls in a club before.

“I was with all the married guys, if I was planning on picking up girls, why wouldn’t I be with the single guys?” It was a fair point, convincing even but you didn’t want to think about that. Your emotions were building up and you were about to explode at him.

“I don’t want to think about this anymore, I have to get out of here”

“Please just let me explain” He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“I don’t want to hear it Matthew”

“But-”

“No! Just get out of my way” You huff, trying to move past him but he’s body blocking the door.

“Hey, I know you’re mad at me but I need to know you’re safe” His eyes are wide, staring at you and you can feel your resolve start to dissolve. “Please don’t go”

“Matt…” You said softly.

“Don’t run away… go to our room or I’ll go and you can stay out here. I’ll give you safe, just… please don’t leave, I need you to be safe” You looked past him to look out the window. Calgary winters were no joke, the snow was coming down hard and you knew you wouldn’t get far in your car anyways.

“Fine just… give me some time” You turned and stalked off to your bedroom, closing the door behind you and dropping down onto your bed.

…

Three hours. You were sitting on the edge of your bed, staring at the wall for three hours. You thought about a lot. About Matt, about you, and finally about your relationship.

You were leaving the room with a very different mindset than what you entered it with. It was quiet in the apartment when you walked down the hall. The living room was dark, there was only a small lamp on which made you barely able to make out your boyfriend who was sitting on the couch, head in his hands as his elbows dug into his thighs.

“Matthew?” You mumbled, your voice coming out a lot smaller than you’d anticipated. His head shot up as you flipped another lamp on so that you could see a bit better.

“Hey” His voice was rough, he cleared his throat and you finally met his eyes. They were red and a little swollen. He had been crying.

You took a deep breath before sitting next to him, leaving a decent amount of space between you two. “I was ready to leave” You let out with a breath and you could feel him freeze beside you. “When I walked into that room, I was ready to start packing my stuff and go”

“And? Why didn’t you?” He was avoiding eye contact but you could hear the quiver in his voice.

“Because I realized how stupid it would be. I realized that I love you too damn much to pack up and leave” You sighed. “Do you know how I felt when everyone we know was sending me those pictures? Sure, they weren’t exactly bad but still… do you understand how that made me feel? I was so embarrassed Matt! Embarrassed that first of all, you were out doing god knows what while you’re on a trip for work and secondly, that everyone seemed to know about it”

“I know… fuck! I’m so sorry, I know it was shitty and I wish I could’ve told you before those pictures came out but I seriously didn’t think it was a big deal. Those girls… they just came over and they weren’t even there for five minutes, I swear!”

“I just feel betrayed. Maybe I’m being dramatic, I don’t know. I just don’t like it, I hate how I feel about you right now and I hate that I can’t stop picture you in that club with those girls” You thought you had figured out how you felt back in your bedroom but suddenly, talking to Matt has brought even more feelings up for you and now you’re stuck trying to work through them in front of him.

“Tell me what to do and I’ll do it” He looked up at you and your heart sunk at the sight of him. He looked absolutely wrecked. “I swear, I’ll do anything. I can’t lose you”

You knew he was looking for an answer but you weren’t sure what to say. “I don’t want you to have to do something for me to stay”

“Then what do you want!” He raised his voice and you shrunk back. “I’m sorry” He ran his hands over his face.

“No, I deserve it” You were being unfair, you knew that. “I just want to go back to normal, I want to be okay with you going out to bars when I’m not there because I’m being ridiculous right now and if you say nothing happened, I want to believe you”

“You’re not being ridiculous” He said quietly.

“Yes I am!” You groaned. “And you shouldn’t have to try and make me feel better when I’m being crazy”

“Stop” Matthew reached for your hands hesitantly, taking one in both of his. “You saw a picture of me in a bar with a group of girls with no context, you didn’t know what was happening. You have every right to freak out”

You could feel tears falling from your eyes which made you want to laugh. “You… you are too understanding, Matthew Tkachuk”

He smiled softly. You took a deep breath in attempts to focus your thoughts.

“I don’t want to leave”

“Good” He affirmed.

“I trust that nothing happened. I trust you” You felt vulnerable just saying it, like he could use it to his advantage somehow, as if he would ever do that.

“Thank you” He said cautiously. “I love you and I promise, if anything did happen, I would have told you” You believed him. It’s not like he’s ever given you a reason not to.

“I love you Matt, so much and I’m sorry that I flipped out” You sincerely apologized but he just shook his head.

“You always have every right to freak out on me okay? I know I might mess up on dumb stuff like forgetting anniversaries or something but I promise you, I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship”

“I know” You nodded, pressing your forehead against his as he leaned in. “Thank you”

He chuckled. “For what?”

“For understanding. For not letting me leave. For being the worlds greatest boyfriend to a crazy lady. Pick one” You say and he laughs.

“I’m lucky to call you my crazy lady”

[ladykissingfish]

Bro i got my teeth pulled today. Got me thinkin how each akatsuki would vibe out on nitrous gas. Any thoughts?

Wow this is a dangerous and hilarious situation to put the Akatsuki in.

Itachi and Konan: Will not stop giggling. Will seriously burst out laughing at anything, even shit that's downright stupid. Surprisingly this makes Itachi scary AF to the rest of the group because this guy never EVER smiles, let alone laughs like this. But with Konan, they think it's adorable. They'll all tell her countless jokes or make stupid faces or do tricks to get to hear her giggles and snorts and laughs.

Deidara and Hidan: Both of these fuckers are sweating like pigs and become increasingly paranoid. Tobi comes up behind Deidara to ask him something and Deidara nearly kamikazes his head clean off. Hidan is doing these intense internal (quickly becoming out-loud) monologues about Lord Jashin. "Man, what if my religion is fake? What if Kakuzu is right? HOLY SHIT WHAT IF KAKUZU IS JASHIN AND HE'S BEEN TESTING ME THIS WHOLE TIME?!" Both of them eventually dissolve into tears and have to be put to bed by their respective partners.

Zetsu and Sasori: Honestly, the gas doesn't effect them. Zetsu is essentially two beings living in one body, so while one deals with the possible effects of the gas, the other is completely normal, which balances them out. And Sasori is a damn puppet. His body is literally full to the brim with various poisons and toxins. Nitrous gas is about as dangerous to him as sunshine is to a flower.

Kisame: Doesn't effect him that much, but it gives him a really bad headache. Kisame's cure for headaches (and pretty much anything else) is to go for a long swim. Because of this, he loves to get procedures done that involve being put on the gas, because he knows that afterwards he'll have a solid excuse to indulge in his most favorite of hobbies.

Kakuzu: Finds it hard as hell to breathe. Can only take the gas in very small doses. Hidan likes when Kakuzu is off it it because it gives him an excuse to be his "savior". "Oi, old bastard, ya still can't breathe? Let me give ya some mouth to mouth" -- and a long make-out session ensues. Not that Kakuzu is complaining.

Nagato: You gotta be careful of anything you give this man. He's all skin and bones and any sort of chemical put into his body can have some pretty adverse affects. But surprisingly nitrous gas doesn't effect him in a nagative way. He coughs a bit at first, but when it subsides, he's ... calm. Peaceful. Can start thinking of the world in a more positive light. "Hmm, maybe it was wrong for me to recruit all these guys into this group for my own selfish desires. Maybe I should disband the Akatsuki and leave them all free to pursue what makes them happy. Maybe --" And then the gas wears off and he immediately shakes off his foolish thoughts.

Tobi/Obito: Mr Mask becomes Mr. Confessional. His mouth opens and words come pouring out. About his past in Konoha. His life with Minato and Kakashi and Rin. His time with Madara. The event(s) that led him to help Nagato form the Akatsuki. "I'm just ... I'm so sorry, you guys. I never wanted this. All I want is to have a nice little house on a riverbank, fish, and spend time with Deidara. Deidara, you're really handsome by the way. You should be my husband. You would look GREAT with the Uchiha fan on your back." If Nagato or Konan are around, they try to stop him. But it's really not necessary; the others don't believe a word of what "Tobi" is saying. They think he just can't handle the gas and is hallucinating some pretty bizarre shit.

[spammreviews]

The Junji Ito Story Ranking, Worst to Best

Trigger warning:

Suicide, self harm, mentions of body horror, death, animal death, rape, marital abuse, transphobia, and sexism.

This will not include Junji Ito’s adaptations of others' works. There are also some works which couldn’t be put in this story because they simply aren’t available in English.

Also, there are two kinds of Junji Ito stories: one shots and longer stories.

One shots are stories such as Slug Girl and the Enigma of Amigara Fault.

Longer stories include Gyo and Remina.

There are some stories which are kind of on the fence between the two such as Tomie, Souchi, Uzumaki, and the Dissolving Classroom. These are collections of multiple different stories which can work together as one cohesive story. I ranked all of the Tomie chapters as separate stories as I felt like their quality varied, but Uzumaki, Souchi and Dissolving Classroom had more consistent quality (for better or for worse), so they were ranked as one whole work.

Penultimately, some of these stories have multiple titles. I have tried to show both titles when that happens, but there are most likely some times when I have made a mistake.

Lastly, some of my reviews will contain spoilers while others will not. Those with spoilers will contain a (Spoilers) tag.

Worst to best

F:

133. The Bizarre Hikizuri Siblings:

The Seance-

I hate every character in this story.

This story is about a family and they’re all spooky weirdos, like the Addams family if they were all annoying.

There’s the fat guy.

His design is obnoxious, and his entire existence is a never ending stream of stupid, overdone fat jokes. Wait, actually, that’s not fair, there is also a bunch of gross out humor.

There’s the little girl. She’s the “evil little girl” trope. She’s obnoxious and I hate her design.

There’s the little boy. He’s the “evil little boy” trope. He’s obnoxious and I hate his design.

There’s the eldest girl. She’s…she’s there.

There’s the eldest boy. He’s pretending to be mature and he speaks in a weird false-eloquent manner. He is not extremely obnoxious.

There’s Narumi. She’s “normal”, which means she’s boring.

The first half of the story sees us being introduced to our main characters. The eldest boy invites a girl to dinner. At the dinner, ee see the fat guy drooling and eating lots of food in a gross way. 

The family has a fight and I don’t know what emotion I should be feeling in that scene. Is it funny? If so, it fails, because there aren't any actual jokes. Is it supposed to be dramatic? If so, it fails because I don’t care about any of these characters. It’s clear that the family is grieving, but they’re all grieving in these extremely inhuman ways- so I can’t relate to them.

The family decides to have a seance for their dead parents, and that takes up the rest of the story. It’s filled with gross-out humor, inane banter, and extremely repetitive character beats. I think the little girl cries like ten or so times.

The family is also just arguing all of the time. Every page is another argument. I know that families argue with each other, but this is ridiculous. I don’t think this family likes each other.

All of this arguing means that the plot has the pacing of molasses, as none of this arguing moves the plot forward.

Also, family drama isn’t interesting when the family are just annoying caricatures of tired archetypes. 

This story sucks in every way. It’s not even nice to look at because the designs of the family make me want to vomit.

God, I hate this story so much.

132. All of the Souichi Stories-

The Souichi stories are too silly to be scary, too dark to be funny, too down-to-earth to be campy, and too annoying to be likable. 

Souichi is a child who never poses a threat to our main characters, so he’s never scary. 

However, his hijinks are also not fun to watch because they usually involve hurting people.

Fictional characters getting seriously hurt can be funny in a fucked up way, but only if something is added to make it funny. These stories just have someone getting their hand hit with a hammer. People getting hurt can also be fun if they are being injured in an extraordinarily cartoony manner, like in Evil Dead 2, but the injuries characters receive here are stuff like stepping on a nail, which is a very simple and realistic way to injure oneself, meaning that it’s not fun.

Despite being about a child who’s evil, these stories never have much fun with that premise or do anything creative. The only way Souichi being a child barely affects his career as an asshole is that he doesn’t face consequences.

Also, the others characters in this story are blacks of wood with no personalities and no dimensions. As such, the story is extraordinarily boring whenever Souichi isn’t on screen.

Watching a child be annoying to a bunch of boring people gets extremely old extremely quickly, especially with how repetitive these stories are. There are about fourteen of them, and they all have the same plot.

Lastly, Souichi is just annoying. He has all of the most annoying character traits of children: he always repeats things, he screams way too much, he eats really messily, he’s a gleeful asshole, and he never faces any consequences for his actions. 

This kind of character can work, like that prince kid from the Tintin comics, Abdullah or whatever. However, that kid appears in like fifteen pages over the course of two different books. 

However, Souchi is the main focus of these many stories.

Even when Souchi gets what is coming to him, it’s never cathartic because it’s always way too much, like him getting nails through his cheeks. That’s disturbing. 

Essentially, the problem with these stories is that they have no sense of tone. The mix of morbidity and wackiness leads to the stories just being really annoying.

They’re also really repetitive, both in the sense that almost all of these stories follow the same formula with the same beats, but this formula is one where the plot is one continuous cycle of Souchi being a little shit, getting away with it, and then getting angry for some reason. 

131. Fashion Model-

(Spoilers)

Haha it’s funny because the woman is ugly and aaah! it’s also scary because the woman is ugly and haha it’s funny because the ugly woman is going to rape the man as punishment for being slightly paranoid. 

This story is stupid. It’s cruel to every character involved, it’s not funny, the tone is all over the place, the pacing is extremely slow, and its attempts at suspense are laughably pathetic because they’re based on us being scared by a woman for no other reason than her being ugly.

It also has two really annoying tropes being taken to their extreme:

A woman pursuing a man who is clearly not interested in her and

Ugly people are evil/gross/funny.

When this story isn’t being absolutely awful, it’s just boring because every character ranges from bland to just kind of unlikable, like our main character. 

Despite him being kind of a jerk, seeing bad things happen to him isn’t gratifying because they are far worse than what he deserves. 

130. The Bizarre Hikizuri Siblings: 

Narumi’s Boyfriend-

(Spoilers)

This first two pages of this story see a teenage girl, Narumi Hikizuri, about to commit suicide, only to be saved by her boyfriend. You would assume that the rest of the story explores depression. You would not be wrong.

We then meet the other Hikizuri siblings, who, as I mentioned previously, suck, and there are five of them!

Then, we cut back to the teenage girl, Narumi obviously, and her boyfriend. Narumi is depressed and threatening to commit suicide again. Her boyfriend is kind of being an asshole about it, complaining about how hard it is to care for her. 

It’s pretty fucked up that there is really no good support network for Narumi.

Then, Narumi’s family finds her and kidnaps her, and it’s at this point where I can’t help but wonder if Narumi’s siblings are supposed to be scary or funny in this story. It wouldn’t make any sense for them to be scary, as their designs are weird and they talk weirdly, and they’re stupid and silly and wacky and dumb. However, them being funny makes no sense considering the fact that this is a story wich starts with a suicide attempt. Also, it’s hard to laugh because the siblings are so fucking stupid looking. They make me nauseous. Not only that, but the family members are being abusive to Narumi, and that’s not funny, even if their abuse is silly.

Anywhoo, the story randomly swerves in tone when Narumi says she’s going to kill herself, douses herself with gasoline, and flicks a cigarette lighter. You assume she’s on fire and is dying. You would be…uhh…wrong?

After that happens, the family gets Narumi’s boyfriend, takes him to their house, and tortures him by forcing him to lay in a bag with what appears to be the burnt body of Narumi.

It’s kind of disturbing, but it’s also very silly. So, what emotion am I supposed to be feeling?

Then, Narumi shows up, and the boyfriend dies of a heart attack.

As it turns out, the thing that burned was a mannequin, and the family were just messing with the boyfriend.

Narumi only seems a bit angry about her boyfriend dying, and the last panel sees her saying she “Had no intention of actually doing it” meaning she had no intention of setting herself on fire.

Now, I’m going to give the story the benefit of the doubt and say that Narumi was actually going to kill herself. I sure hope that when the family told Narumi she was just doing this for attention, they weren’t right. I sure hope that when Narumi threatened to kill herself in front of her boyfriend, she wasn’t manipulating him.

If that was true, this story would be awful.

I’m going to assume that Narumi is just lying. The story still sucks because we have a depressed character trapped with her abusive family and the story doesn’t seem to care. However, it sucks a little bit less because it’s not insinuating that depressed people are “looking for attention”.

In conclusion, this story is one of the most tonally bizarre things I’ve ever seen. It goes back and forth between silly hijinks and serious drama. 

It also doesn’t help that the silly hijinks aren’t funny, and I don’t even know much about Narumi and her boyfriend, so I don’t care about the drama of their story!

129. Groaning Pipes-

(Spoilers)

This is the story about the people getting stuck in pipes.

To truly understand this story, we need to go in deep.

The story starts off with black haired girl being stalked by, gasp!, a guy who is overweight and ugly. Now, I’d argue that the comic seems to want us to find him gross through the way the panels frame him.

So, we’re not off to a great start.

The pudgy kid asks black haired girl out and black haired girl rebukes him, something we are told has happened many times before. So, this guy sucks. 

However, black haired girl then insults this guy by calling him a “swollen and ugly".

Now, obviously, black haired girl has every right to insult someone who is being a creep. However, she is not insulting him on the grounds of being a creep, but instead focusing on his appearance, something he can’t control. In fact, all of the insults the black haired girl levels against the pudgy kid, and there are many, revolve around his appearance. The pudgy kid isn’t bad because he’s pudgy, he’s bad because he’s being a creep.

A result of this is that I kind of dislike both characters in this situation. Maybe that’s the point. If so, then I can congratulate this story on being rather complex in making the point that the girl had the right to not want to have sex with a guy she doesn’t like. Meanwhile, the guy, however much of a piece of shit he is, has the right to not be belittled for his appearance.

Of course, I’m assuming that’s the point. It’s probably not, because the rest of the story is very stupid. Also, the way both characters act is so extreme, it makes them seem like complete caricatures. The pudgy guy is a gross creepy incel and the black haired girl is a vapid valley girl.

Anywhoo, once that scene happens, black haired girl and her sister go to their house, where they bathe for way too long. At first, I was a bit unsure if these siblings were actually siblings because they look to be the same age and act less like siblings and more like casual work friends.

Then, we learn there is something wrong with the pipes in this house. We also see that the mom of this character is a total neat freak. The story feels the need to tell us this fifty or so times in these ten or so pages, and it quickly gets very annoying. There’s also an agonizingly pointless scene  where the mom yells at a plumber. 

It is also in this part where the two girls hatch a plan to let the pudgy guy go to their house so the neat freak mother can scare him off.

To finish our set up, we also meet the Dad of the family, who is divorced from the Mom and hasn’t seen his kids in a while. Unfortunately, the story doesn’t have the time to explore what it’s like to be a child of divorce in any meaningful way. 

So, the story has just been set up. There isn’t even the suggestion of something scary.

The plan of the two sisters goes perfectly, and the mom throws eggs at the pudgy kid.

Anywhoo, then the plot actually kicks off when the mom accidentally kills the Dad because she thinks he’s the fat kid when he sneaks into the house at night. I guess the Dad just really wanted to see his kids again, and IDK, maybe he was drunk or something. None of the members of the family seem concerned about the death of this man.

The mom tells the cops that the husband had a knife, so her killing of him was in self defense. I suppose that makes sense. However, what doesn’t make sense is that the family is just allowed to stay in this house that has become a crime scene. I suppose I’m nitpicking. Whatever.

We then see the Mom obsessing over her husband’s blood being cleaned from the floor, and the harassment causes the maid to quit. Why does the maid even exist in the story? I don’t know.

After these excruciatingly long sequences of nothing, we finally get some suspense when mysterious sounds start coming from the pipes.

This, among many other things, causes the Mom to freaking lose it. This is not the only Junji Ito story where a stressed out mom with a dead husband goes crazy. Another one will be near the top. However, this one doesn’t work because the mom is an annoying caricature of a mom, and her neurosciences are so extreme she becomes unbelievable.

Anywhoo, it turns out that the pudgy kid is in the pipes, which is where the sound is coming from.

The black haired girl suddenly starts acting like an asshole for no reason, and the story ends with the sister getting pulled into the pipes- presumably by the pudgy kid. I should mention that she is wearing a towel, so there is an unsettling subtext to this.

That’s fucked up. What is this story saying? Fat people are rapists?

Also, the mom just disappears from the story.

One kind of wonders why the husband and his death was even included, as he’s absolutely inessential to the actual main plot, which is the incel in the pipes. The mom is also pretty pointless, with her only important action being throwing eggs at the pudgy kid.

This whole story is convoluted, contrived, and nonsensical. Every character in it is a caricature, whether it be of women or of fat people. It also seems uninterested in actually creating an atmosphere of dread and suspense.

Unfortunately, a common theme throughout Ito’s stories (specifically his earlier work) is unattractive people being cast as villains and women going through extremely traumatic events in a way which feels indulgent. This story has these two being taken to the extreme.

128. Nanakuse Kyokumi-

This is the transphobic story.

It follows a woman , Koroketsu, who is obsessed with a writer. She goes to see that writer, Nanakuse, only for Nanakuse to turn out to be evil…and also a trans woman. 

Anywhoo, the main character, Koroketsu, of this story is one of the more colorful main characters because she’s really weird.

This means that the beginning of this story is…interesting with how strange it is.

Then, we meet Nanakuse, the author. She is drawn with a very pronounced chin and nose, and our main character literally thinks “A male!” when she first sees her.

It’s at this point when I stopped wanting to read the story, but I had to because of this fucking list.

After this, the author throws the main character into a dungeon, our main character suffers some body horror, and then the story ends.

If it wasn’t for the transphobia, this story would probably be in C. It is very quickly paced. In fact, it’s too quickly paced, as there’s no time given to creating suspense and atmosphere. We don’t see the author seeming more and more off putting as we get more hints that she is evil. The second the main character shows up, the author acts like an absolute asshole. Then, we get a scene of the two of them drinking which does nothing to build suspense. At the end of that scene, the author randomly reveals themself as evil when they toss the main character in a dungeon. It’s kind of sudden. There’s no buildup with this story.

You know Dracula? That’s a story about a person visiting the house of someone mysterious (Dracula), and we get more and more red flags about Dracula throughout the beginning of the story. It’s fun and suspenseful. If Dracula hypnotized Renfield after one conversation, the story would be very boring.

Moving on, the quick pacing means that the stuff about people having “quirks” doesn’t have time to be fleshed out. It seems interesting, but we barely get to see any of it, or the consequences of it, or why all of these people are obsessed with it.

A bunch of exposition is given, but it's all surface level stuff that doesn’t even help us to genuinely understand what’s going on. We learn how the author bought the house and why she keeps people in the prison, but none of this explores the idea of having quirks. Obviously, horror stories thrive when the horror isn’t explained, but it’s helpful if we at least understand what the horrifying thing even is. Imagine Jaws, but we never learn that it’s a shark.

Not only that, the body horror is a little more silly than scary. It’s also very sudden, much like the rest of this story.

Overall, even without the extreme transphobia, this story is just half-baked, with a half-baked idea that never makes any sense or seems all that scary. 

Also, what was the deal with the old servant lady?

[boxwinebaddie]

𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓱 𝓹𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮 & 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵 𝓫𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝓪𝓼 𝓻𝓲𝓵𝓮𝔂,

greetings from wherever you are and whatever timezone you are in, and with any luck, in that nook you are tucked, it is still the best day of the year aka...Rile Pile's Birthday ( aka pastorcraigenjoyer on ao3 ), who some of you may call the style one-shot whump wizard now ft. lizard, but i am blessed to call, my lovely computer wife and life. <33

my angel, my darling, my dear, sweet girl: happy birthday, beloved.

( beneath the readmore is a birthday surprise. xx for my favorite redhead writer girl, but also for all of you. fair warning, you do have to read a lot to get there, but i promise that it will be worth the while. )

@actually-its-riley @1moreoffkeyanthem @marryme

i know that you do not like to make a big deal about your birthday, but unfortunately, i am a chaotic bisexual disaster, of whom pep!stan's insane stananigans and big sweeping gestures are #Based, so unfortunately, you have to endure my psychosis, RP.

which you often do, you wild and patient and wonderful thing you. <3 i sent you a DM on new years that was way better articulated than this, but when writing peppermint, i made a lot of friends who were readers and that was extremely gratifying, but i felt very isolated from the style writing community on ao3...until you came along. c':

i was also extremely anxious and over encumbered/ill-equipped to handle the stress that came along with the success of my fanfic, but your support throughout my writing journey made that load lighter.

it has been a joy and an honor being your friend and for once, being able to read rather than write -- all 70+ fanfics you have uploaded. which, given that i have written two unfinished ones, the fact that riley has written that many and finished them is astounding. :***

-- they are also brilliant, btw. we seriously don't deserve her. </3

but here's to trying!

and drying those tears for fears of dying, because when you write, you live forever, clever girl. but before i ramble on too long, my salt of the earth ( dissolved in oj ), here, dear, is my birthday gift to you. <3

so...listen. at first i was going to post a whumpshot for you but...the only person i ended up hurting was myself because i couldn't finish. granted, i never finish anything, as we know, but i had a backup plan.

which is this:

i am thankful for all the support i've gotten writing my fanfictions, but riley has been particularly supportive of me, both emotionally, and also regularly wrecks havoc on her poor followers by reblogging my insane niche au ask meme content onto her blog and likes all my stuff, no matter how weird or deranged it is.

i apologize because that's going to happen again, but this time it will hopefully be slightly more relevant because rp is fond of peppermint, and i am very fond of her so i decided...that for riley's birthday, i will be releasing everything i have in my drafts pertaining to…

pep 12. <3

whiiiiiiich is not much, please don't get your hopes up, but i think it is well deserved by you all and on what better occasion than today?

anyways, your cursed limited edition peppermint package includes:

-literally like the first five minutes of the chapter ( i'm not even joking that's how little i've written -- which is still too much -- and how slow )

-this weird thing that i posted on twitter once where stan is thinking about the friendship bracelets and being emo as fuck oh my god, i made a lot of weird metaphors...it's garbage, but...have at it.

-and finally, a very weird fucking flashback from hell that...is the main reason why my update got stalled because i couldn't figure out how to write it and when i started writing it, i got so comfortable in kyle's narration, i fucking *jersey vc* forgot it was stan season and started writing it in kyle's consciousness, then...tried to switch it back to stans...it's a mess. it's also not done like...at all, so you get a little bit of actual writing and actions and thoughts and a lot of...just dialogue. i wasn't sure about giving you guys the whole thing but i'm not sure if its gonna make it into pep, so i wanted to give you guys a chance to read it before i throw it into the fire where it belongs, smh...jail.

again, rp, i know today is a hard day, but i hope this makes it easier. thank you for being born, happy birthday...and i hope you heal, lovie.

but now...dear readers...without further ado, it is time,

to enjoy the very worst part...

...of the very best day. ;)

-uncle neen the queen with the scheme <3

p.s. the computer quality is ass, it looks better on the app, smh.

𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓿𝓮; 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷 𝓼𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓸𝓷

a/n: EVERYONE SAY YOU'RE WELCOME UNCLE NINA FOR NOT KILLING STAN!!! HSDLKD STAN LIVES!!!! BARELY! SMH!!! i'm so sorry you waited so long for...sigh...that...anyways here's this too:

𝔀𝓮𝓲𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓮𝔂 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓹 𝓫𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰

A/N: wow...so edgy, nina. i wrote that instead of sleeping one night and i did not take my mood stabilizer so that's why it sounds insane. okay, here is this last thing which is...actually so embarrassing, but i love you all and riley specifically, so merry riley's birthday everyone.

𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓼𝓽 𝓾𝓷𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓭 𝓯𝓵𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𝓲'𝓿𝓮 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓷

A/N: my kylepilequil!!!! HELLO!!!! HOPE YOU HEAL NATION!!! WHO IS UP BITCH!!!! that was choatic, i am not proud of a lot of that dialogue, particularly kyle being insane ( it was not gonna stay like that i promise...it was a road map...leading where? i have no clue ) but i hope that it thrilled you! please smile, pendejos lmaoooo, rip!

[writergirl3]

4 Town’s Reaction To You Getting Glasses

Okay, I know this is a kinda kooky and niche idea, but hear me out! I got glasses today and have been in need of some writing fodder, so...I guess that's what this is.

Not proofread, but don't hold that against me. Enjoy!

Robaire;

Robaire would definitely have taken the time to come with you to your optician appointment. Not only to soothe your anxieties, but to help you pick out a pair of glasses.

After spending the best part of half an hour trying on different models, each one met with gushing compliments from Robaire, you finally decide on a pair. 

Needless to say, Robaire loves you in glasses. Genuinely. He always tells you how intelligent he thinks they make you look, which is definitely a good thing in his book. 

If you feel a little insecure about needing glasses, Robaire will dissolve every anxiety you have with his charming words. And yes, some of then will be French.

Jesse;

As a glasses wearer himself, Jesse sure was happy when you arrived home one day with a new pair of specs. He’s never been a fan of wearing them himself, and the fact that you now share the burden elicits some cheeky teasing from him. Just to pay you back, though!

Seeing you wearing glasses will encourage him to ditch his contacts more often. The other boys like to call you ‘eight eyes’ as a new couple name. It’s all in good jest, but they actually think that you both look super cute together both wearing glasses.

Of course, if you follow Jesse’s example and opt for contacts, he’ll get it. If this is out of insecurity, he’ll make sure to always remind you of how cute you look with your glasses on whenever you do wear them.

Aaron T;

We know T is a bit of a tease, but he would reign in the glasses-related nicknames when you first put them on. Whether you like them or not, he’ll look at you agape. When you question him, he’ll reassure you that it’s because you look ‘freakin’ adorable’. 

Now, that’s not to say that he won’t make small jokes about your glasses. Not in a mean way! He’ll call you ‘nerd’ or some other lighthearted nicknames. He’ll probably also treat you like some sort of superhero, claiming that your glasses give you x-ray vision or something. He’s such a dummy.

And, he’s also a simp for you. So, he’ll definitely get some fake glasses so that you both match. Like he’ll go to a 3D movie just to get the glasses and pop the lenses out. It’s actually really cute, and makes you feel better about yourself if you’re a bit insecure about being a glasses-wearer. Trust me, those insecurities won’t live another day so long as T’s love for you is around.

Aaron Z;

Z actually gets really flustered when he sees you wearing glasses for the first time. I mean, he’s flustered by everything you do, but something about you wearing glasses makes his heart race that little bit faster.

If you question his gawking, he’ll clumsily reassure you that he loves the way they look on you. So, you can bet your life that both of you will be blushing messes.

On a more practical note, Z will always make sure that you wear your glasses if you need them. Hell, he’ll probably buy you a spare pair that he carries around in case you forget yours. Don’t even give him any “I don’t need them” excuses. Z will put them on you if he has to. But it’s just because he loves you!

And if you’re a little unsure about your new look? Well, of course Z will give you all the little compliments about your glasses/eyes/face/entire being that it takes for you to see yourself- with the help of your glasses- as he does.

Tae Young;

Like T, Tae is a complete and utter simp for you. And seeing you in your new glasses when you get home from the opticians? Floors him. Utterly.

He’ll stammer out how amazing and cute he thinks you look, and he seriously means it. As an undercover Harry Potter nerd, he can’t get enough of your new look.

Honestly, he’s kinda jealous that you get to wear them because he wants to look like his wizarding hero. Over time, you’ll actually have to fight him off so that he doesn’t ruin his own eyes with your prescription. If he ever does get a hold of your glasses, though? He looks ridiculously adorable.

He thinks the same about you, for sure. So, if you’re ever not loving your bespectacled face, he’ll dispel any insecurities with over-excitable, sugary-sweet compliments.

(How they'd all look at you with your new glasses on, fr)

---

Musing Meaninglessly Masterlist

[joehawke]

I kind of love the idea of Steve and Eddie making it out alive of the whole Vecna thing, and it truly hitting Eddie how he almost didn’t make it out, almost didn’t have a future, and how maybe he should start thinking about what said future holds. And in doing so, he opens up a world of questions for what the future holds for him and Steve. And every time he brings it up, Steve shrugs him off, changes the subject, and Eddie loves him, but he’s starting to become sick of it. And Steve knows one of these days he won’t be able to keep ignoring the questions coming his way, knows it isn’t fair to Eddie. But he doesn’t know what to say. Today is one of those days.

The air is bitter, yet sweet, and maybe it’s the melting rocky road that drips down Steve’s knuckles from Eddie’s cone, Steve’s own hand just barely touching Eddie’s, but it’s enough for the cold cream to make Steve sticky. He focuses on the sugar that's dissolving into his aching bones and in a sense, it’s comforting, like it’s the only thing enveloping him. But Eddie’s voice reminds him that the sugar turns sticky and doesn’t stay sweet and so Steve tosses his own soggy cone into the trash, Eddie’s eyes following the movement.

“Huh?” Steve asks softly, looking up at Eddie rather than down at the stickiness coating their touching knuckles. Eddie gives Steve an odd look and Steve smiles, hoping that Eddie can’t see through his facade.

“I asked you what you’re plans are for the next few months….” Eddie says, and he says it like it’s the easiest question Steve could possibly answer, and Steve’s blood runs cold, and he wonders if Eddie can see the falter he tries to conceal, but Eddie doesn’t make any movement so Steve smiles wider and looks away. He shrugs slightly and it isn’t on purpose, but his body answers for him, so he pulls away and turns to face Eddie and Eddie thinks it’s so he can look at him before Steve speaks his truth, but Steve knows that it’s because Eddie makes him nervous and his question makes him buzz.

“I’m going to continue mothering my kids” Steve says with the biggest smile he can muster, but Eddie isn’t as amused as he normally would be and Steve’s blood somehow manages to run even cooler, and he’s afraid if it freezes over anymore, he might finally start to crack.

“No, for real Stevie, what are you planning on doing?” Eddie interjects, and the sun is starting to set and it’s starting to get chilly and Steve wishes he had the courage to ask for Eddie’s jacket at the moment and he can hear Robin’s nagging voice in the back of his head telling him to bring a sweater, so he squeezes his eyes shut before opening them to look at Eddie, praying for some type of clarity to coat the fear he knows is encasing the brown he hates so much.

“Seriously, I’m going to stay here and continue being a single mother, maybe I’ll teach a self defense class” and the joking lie slips off Steve’s tongue so easily that he thinks maybe, he hasn’t been thinking about this like he should. Steve thinks Eddie agrees, because Eddie’s eyes slit like he has venom in his heart rather than his teeth and that somehow scares Steve more.

“I wish you could be serious sometimes. You’re never serious. It’s like you don’t know how to be…-” Eddie shakes his head, the words falling off his tongue like cloyed honey. It’s like Steve doesn’t know how to be…and that resonates with Steve in ways he can’t quite decipher. Eddie’s brows are furrowed and his eyes have this look of distaste in them that Steve has started to wonder if they’re solely reserved for him. The air is tense and Eddie shifts awkwardly under Steve’s gaze, like this is somehow worse for him than it is for Steve. Steve kicks a spare pebble with the foot of his sneaker and watches as it flies across the asphalt, and he imagines himself flying with it. Eddie’s got a serious look on his face, and suddenly Steve feels bad.

“Okay then, what are your plans?” Steve asks delicately, an ashy smile coats Eddie’s lips and Steve’s never wanted to run his thumb over Eddie’s bottom lip more. Steve can see the gears and cogs turning and Eddie sucks in his bottom lip, almost as if he could read Steve’s previous thought, and that one mere movement proves everything and nothing.

“I’m going to hopefully release an album with Corroded Coffin. Maybe get a record deal. At least that’s the plan” Eddie says confidently, and there’s something about the way he’s so sure of himself that makes Steve ache in his own unclarity. “Maybe you could continue working at family video store, become a manager, or I don’t know, keep keeping the kids safe” and oh. Steve appreciates the thought, he does, but he sounds in pain as he says it, like the idea he’s curated is just as hopeless as Steve’s future.

“Maybe. I’d much rather be a kickass monster fighting babysitter… we’ll see” and Steve watches as a small smile places itself upon Eddie’s lips, but it’s gone just as soon as it appears and it’s replaced with the previous poison. Eddie refuses to look at Steve and Steve can feel his heart break in his chest.

“Hey,” Steve says, nudging Eddie’s shoulder delicately, scared if he pushes the barrier they’ve created any more than he already has it’ll shatter and god, Steve is so tired of breaking things. “Wouldn’t you rather me want to stay here with the kids than, I don’t know… leave…for good?” Steve whispers out, and Eddie looks at Steve with wild eyes, caught off guard, and concern is plastering Eddie’s face at the intention behind his words.

“Duh.. but, you can’t stay here in Hawkins your whole life Stevie… and you certainly can’t k-… you can’t do that either…” Eddie whispers out, stuck on his words, and suddenly Steve feels bad for saying anything to begin with.

“Yeah, I know…. I think I’d put more effort into becoming a full time babysitter than finding something valuable to do though, don’t you think so?” Steve says, and Eddie rolls his eyes, but the corner of them crease like he’s hiding a smile and though there’s still a pit in Steve’s stomach, Eddie’s smile makes him feel better in a sense.

“You’re lazy, you know. You’re never going to make it in the real world.” Eddie says teasingly, but the words still sting.

“What if I don’t want to make it in the real world? What does that even mean anymore? I mean after everything…I’ll figure it out” Steve says, shrugging, trying to make eye contact with Eddie and he can’t tell if it’s to prove to Eddie he can do it, or to prove it to himself. Steve tries to imagine where he’ll be in four years and when he can’t, he moves the years down. Three. Two. One. But to no avail, he can’t even picture his own face or figure and suddenly it hits just how real this is. The air is heavy and once again bitter, no tang of sweetness left.

‘“I just-” and Steve doesn’t know what he wants to say, but the silence engulfing them isn’t comfortable like it normally is and he can feel the tears gathering under his eyes so he looks away. Eddie looks at Steve for the first time, turning his chin softly so he can meet Eddie’s gaze.

“Hey…” Eddie whispers, and he kisses Steve gently, trying to taste the lingering words that are lost on Steve’s tongue, and Steve can taste the leftover rocky road in the depths of Eddie’s mouth and he lets the sweetness engulf him. Eddie pulls away, smiling softly, pulling the sugary feeling away with him.

“I just think maybe I was meant to do something else. Be something else maybe. I wasn’t made for this like you were. I don’t know. I’m not like you. Maybe I am lazy” and Eddie’s eyes go soft and he reaches over to move the hair out of Steve’s eyes, brushing a stray tear away with his thumb in the process.

“I don’t know. Becoming a full time mother doesn’t sound too bad. Can we have joint custody maybe?” Eddie says, and Steve looks at him finally and he’s wearing a gentle smile and sometimes Steve hopes it’s reserved for him. Maybe Eddie picked up on the fear Steve knows is escaping throughout every crevice, or maybe the stupid remark Steve let slip scared some sympathy into Eddie. But Steve doesn’t falter on it. Not today.

“Sure. But I get to be the cool parent” Steve says, and they share a delicate smile. Eddie grins.

“Deal.”

And the air isn’t sweet anymore, but it’s not bitter either, so Steve focuses on Eddie’s hand grounding his own and ignores the pang in his chest.

[craycraybluejay]

i somewhat dislike and distrust people pleasers. primarily because i don't like to be lied to and i've encountered scenarios where there is a very fucked up string of lies from someone who is just trying to say what I or someone else wants to hear. simply put it irritates me and wastes everyones time, energy, emotions. but secondarily i was a people pleaser a very very long time ago and I really hated/hate that version of myself. sit down and take it doesn't exist in my vocabulary anymore. if i let something go for the moment its no longer because of the naive idea that enough cozying up to cruel people will grant some sort of favoritism or mercy. its simply to avoid unnecessary conflict and focus on fixing the problem quietly. i am an angry person, i get sucked into ridiculous fights with toxic people too much. like beyond-schizo-ranting evangelicals and people who think you can solve cancer with like.. garlic or sum. people so ridiculous it isn't worth a spare glance. but often i feel some level of responsibility when i or others are endangered by these people who at every turn refuse to grow an awareness and seek help.

people pleasing can be useful if it's an intentional and well planned tool but. most of the time it isnt that. i dont play well with people pleasers. i get along fine with avoidants, fighters, even people who freeze up a bit when somewhat distressed. best case scenario with a people pleaser is they are too polite and not blunt/forward about their problems and it annoys me having to guess at how they're feeling until i myself decide enough is enougu and make distance. worst case scenario they go full trauma response on me without trigger or prompting (because this is how they act to EVERYONE. god it must be exhausting) and fabricate a completely one-sided relationship of honesty and communication on my part with a bunch of bullshit on their end. and then eventually they admit it and i promptly think they should walk off a cliff.

i'm a busy person and i have some heavy responsibilities to carry. if i take on the responsibility of any sort of relationship i expect mutual effort and honesty. i do not expect to waste time on meaningless company all entangled in some fucked up ptsd. if i have to be considerate of my reactions (and i do), you should consider that being overly considerate to the point of erasing yourself out of every equation is also bad and also requires conscious effort to not do.

like i am not saying it is someones fault for having people pleasing tendencies that piss me off. but i am saying that among trauma responses, people pleasing is not often seen as the problem it is and is even encouraged. people who fight are "aggressive," people who run are "cowards," people who freeze are "a burden to themselves." but what about people pleasers??????? in the long term it can be one of the most damaging responses to serious and close relationships-- forging something fake and having it dissolve in an instant. it is a real problem. you are not a hero for being bubbly and nice when you are in pain or danger-- you are a person who needs help and understanding. we meme about the whole "fake smile depression" but can we like. take it seriously for a sec. it is so damaging both in denying yourself the right to feel and react negatively to bad things and, again, in denying the ability for healthy relationships.

if you are a people pleaser, please do not treat it like its just a funny joke that everyone deals with. genuinely look inside yourself and talk with a trusted confidant. work it out. its not a superpower, its a symptom of hurt that needs care and gentleness.

so yeah in conclusion

1) dont people please at me i am begging you. politeness is one thing, ignoring yourself for others is a whole other thing

2) people pleasers do need to unravel that response and need healing just as much as people with different responses to mental illness, stress, or trauma. just because it presents as 'excessive niceness' and not lashing out or something doesn't minimize how it actually functions in your life. it is a maladaptive survival mechanism that you cannot allow your brain to continue pushing once you are out of the related situation.

[kingsansa]

PE:Jealously

It hasn’t even been a month since homecoming, and Robb still doesn’t get it. But, he finally gets that it doesn’t matter whether he gets it or not, so Jeyne Westerling counts that as progress.

Still, he has his moments.

“What do they even talk about?”

Just near the steps leading down to the quad, Jon and Sansa sit on a bricked ledge with three of her friends from the team. Or rather, Jon sits on the ledge and Sansa stands between his legs, which is just about as close as they can get to each other without Robb projectile vomiting all the way over to where they stand.

They’re usually very—and graciously—careful about that sort of thing.

“They probably don’t do much talking.” Cley mutters under his breath.

“Seriously?” Robb hisses at the same exact time Harrion smacks the back of his head while stifling a snicker of his own. Dacey wrinkles her nose and throws a plastic wrapper at him.

“I was joking!” Cley says over the pushback.

He’s also wrong. They’re talking right now, hence Robb’s remark. Mostly—it’s Sansa talking, which is usually how it is every time she sees them together. Walking to class, getting their lunch, making their way to his car in the parking lot. Sansa talks and Jon listens. But he never looks bored, more amused and interested than anything. And sometimes, he talks, too.

Jeyne gets where Robb is coming from, though. She sees it too, every time she sees them together. She sees Sansa’s Vivienne Westwood necklace and Jon’s rumbled thrasher sweatshirt and her cheer shoes and his beat up vans and she wonders, really wonders. It’s a petty question, but it’s a good question. What do they talk about?

But sometimes, it feels like her and Robb come from two different ecosystems with how much they don’t have in common, so it’s not like she can talk.

“I think they’re cute.” She bumps Robb’s shoulder with hers.

Really. She means it.

She likes how they never hold hands—most likely not to induce Robb’s gag reflex—but they don’t have to, because there’s no doubting that they’re together, no matter how different they look. She likes how sometimes, they’ll look at each other, and that’s all it’ll take for one of them to dissolve into laughter. She likes how she can hang out with his friends and he can hang out with her friends, even though they’re completely different crowds.

She likes how more than anything else, they seem like best friends.

Jeyne likes it so much that really, she hates it. She hates how she doesn’t have that with Robb, that base level of comfort that comes from years and years of knowing each other to fall back on. She only met Robb last semester when she transferred schools, and in a way, he was her first friend. But he quickly became more than that, and Jeyne still doesn’t really have any friends here that aren’t….his. Part of her does resent that just a little.

Maybe she wouldn’t if she was more like Sansa.

Springy, bubbly, crazily pretty Sansa. Key club member and varsity cheerleader Sansa. Freshman year and onward taught her that playing sports and being popular aren’t mutually exclusive—she’s a living, breathing testament to that now—but it sure does help. Being a not so reformed band geek ensures that she has less in common with Robb’s fellow jock meathead friends than she would have if she had been able to magically find some rhythm in time for freshman cheer tryouts.

But it’s not even just that. Sansa doesn’t get so nervous that her fingers get cold, or if she does, she doesn’t let that ever stop her. She doesn’t content herself with not contributing to the conversation because she’s too busy overthinking everything. She doesn’t recoil at the prospect of parties or go to sleep every night with the fear that one day her super cool boyfriend would dump her because he’s finally realized what a loser she is. Sansa doesn’t have to think like that.

She’s cool.

Her wardrobe is 76% Aritzia and everything that isn’t is something she made herself. She has a tray of those fancy glass perfume bottles at her vanity—an honest to god vanity. She blushes without looking like a tomato and she knows how to apply mascara and eyeliner without looking like a raccoon at the end of the day. Every time there’s a dance, there are at least three boys scheming on how to ask her. She has a weekly allowance for doing nothing—at least that’s what Robb says. Everyone wants to be her friend and she somehow succeeds at making them feel like they are.

Maybe that’s why Jeyne feels so compelled to defend her every time Robb is being a dick.

“So do I,” Dacey says, and Jeyne feels better knowing that she isn’t the only one. “Leave them alone.”

“Yeah, well they better stay that way.” Robb mutters. “I don’t feel like dealing with the aftermath of that break up.”

Over on the ledge, Jon and Sansa are wearing identical expressions of disdain down to the furrow in their eyebrow as Theon Greyjoy talks to them—or tries. When he gives up, they roll their eyes in tandem.

“I think they will.” Jeyne replies. “Stay together.”

Robb grimaces at that, dropping his head into the slope of her neck. His response comes out muffled, “I don’t know which one is worse.”

Jeyne kisses the top of his curly auburn head, swallowing down a laugh for his sake.

He’ll get over it eventually. Hopefully.

[glennis-hate-blog]

If not Dennis though then who?

if you're asking something other than who would i hate if not dennis, sorry for answering wrong (though the amount that i wrote should qualify my answer as wrong no matter what). i did three reading comprehension tasks total throughout my entire education, and received feedback on none of them. i went completely off the rails so skip to blue, bold text if you just want the real answer

THE ANSWER:

-must of course be contextualised with the fact that when it comes to dennis, i am untethered and my rage knows no bounds. no amount of hate for any other person would substantiate. the runner-up for my-most-hated would compare to dennis as athlete's foot compares to gangrene. having established this, we can move on to establishing why i am dragging my answer out so much. it is because i crave human contact, yet i seem to dislike anyone close to me. the internet provides me with scraps of impersonal human contact that leave me oblivious to the real person, the human behind that interaction. this allows me to feel comfortable enjoying an interaction without convincing myself that i hate the other person. how can i hate someone i do not know? excellent setup! i feast like a starving lion. i suppose that with this in mind, i might claim that if not dennis, i could hate myself the most. but im assuming that we're talking sunny characters here.

it's hard to understand how i feel about the other characters, because i hold my affections about them while aware that they are obviously horrible people.

my mind jumped to dee first, seeing as she shares a lot of the same qualities that make me hate dennis. the most glaring example being that they are rapists. seeing a pattern of this trait in TWINS makes me a little sad though. it shows that what caused this probably had something to do with their parents. the fact that dennis is worse than dee can probably be attributed to his getting raped by the school librarian or whatever it was, as well as how differently their parents treated him on account of his being male. i think some patriarchally motivated power issues stem from that treatment, you can see how he acts out around women in this way (as if i have to explain). anyway dee would make sense as a solid contender. by default ill add her parents to the ring since im blaming them for making her the way that she is.

... im not a huge cricket fan. sure he has his funny moments which i adore, but that is much the same as the reynolds twins. i didnt love him before his decline/the development of his drug addiction, weakness and catholicism repulse me. (HALF JOKE. SORRY. sorry.) i say that he is weak due to his susceptibility to manipulation (a trait he shares with dennis- a man who was tricked into digging up his dead mother 'for gold')- by dee. she wasnt even in her milf era at the time and he left the whole church without even seeing a ring... ok :|. girlie travelled to a bar full of people who bullied and sexually assaulted him to check out a water stain :/ PLEASE. anyway then there's the drug abuse which was actually fairly slay i dont take issue with that. he got better and more acceptable after that in my mind.

third and final person ill seriously consider will be gail the fucking snail. ive seen gail apologists... no... shes not even that bad it's just that shes a caricature of REAL PEOPLE i have to deal with, i totally sympathise with the twins over hating and salting her. idc if she just wants to hang out. she should learn what fuck off means and start trying to find herself, rather than continually finding other people to latch onto obsessively and dissolving into a radioactive puddle of self-pity and non-committal, performative 'shame' every time she is rejected before restarting her circuit of the same 3 people she harasses. oh my god i dont think im talking about snail anymore. whatever. it's what she represents IT DOESNT HAVE TO MAKE SENSE OK THIS IS ABOUT THE PEEPEEPOOPOO SHOW.

scrolling back through all ive written over a simple six-word question, i can see that it is my fucking bedtime. i will be concluding now. ok so i think it's fair to eliminate cricket here, since she redeemed herself by learning parkour and being funny. while i hate gail and everything she represents, she isnt a rapist. she just needs to stop asking for my address and suggesting we have sleepovers and asking whether im a top or a bottom. fucking snail. that would make Dee Reynolds my second-most-hated sunny character! i couldnt hate her with the same fiery rage that i hate dennis, but if there were no dennis, there may very well have existed a dee hate blog.

yip-fucking-ee im so sorry to anyone who thought it was worth investing the time to read any of that, especially the second two body paragraphs. im going to bed now have a fantastic day