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akechicrimes · 4 years

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Prompt 37? Futaba and Akechi platonic/Futago siblings?

37. “Follow me. It’s okay, just hold my hand.”

after akira leaves tokyo, futaba does just fine without her key item, except for when she doesnt.

(one of them AUs were goro survives the engine room and rejoins the phantom thieves. no i will not explain. persona 5 canon AND persona 5 royal do not interact. for reference in this universe futaba and akechi are half siblings but only akechi knows that)

“Next time you see me, I’ll be a whole new person,” Futaba tells Akira excitedly on his second-to-last day in Tokyo. “I’m going back to school, I’m out and about by myself—oh! Oh! Did I tell you I said yes to Kosei? I told Kosei I wanted to go to Shujin and they offered me scholarship! And I went to the subway station by myself yesterday!”

They’re crammed into Akira’s Leblanc attic, sitting around a cake that literally none of them were capable of baking themselves, so they’d bought the thing from a bakery and decorated it with little black and red hearts. Ryuji is passing around his gross soda, while Ann is recounting some story that doesn’t matter with incredible enthusiasm. Makoto looks like she’s determined to enjoy herself and will hear no argument.

The whole thing is incredibly morbid, if you ask Futaba. It feels less like they’re waiting for Akira to leave Tokyo and more like they’re attending Akira’s funeral. Akechi in particular looks like he’s regretting attending, which honestly tickles Futaba more than it should, that the most dishonest Phantom Thief seems to be the only one looking as honestly put-off by the entire affair as everyone else is determined not to be.

That’s everyone else’s problem. Futaba might not be happy Akira has to leave, but she’s proud. She’s sad that Akira has to leave, but also she promised Akira that by the time that he had to leave, she’d be able to get around on her own, without clinging to him for support. And she is able. She kept her promise.

Tomorrow might be the day that Akira has to go, but today is the day that Futaba is Officially Recovered.

Akira does that annoying thing he does where he puts his hand on her head and messes up all her hair, like he’s a human cat showing affection by pissing everyone off. Futaba yelps. “Look at you. You don’t need me at all.”

“I told you that I’d be ready to say goodbye by the time you had to go back to your hometown,” says Futaba. “I haven’t broken my promises yet, have I?”

There’s a burst of laughter from Haru over something Yusuke said, who looks rather surprised to discover that he said anything funny. Both Makoto and Akechi snicker at him, and then stop immediately to glare at each other the second they realize they’ve accidentally wound up sharing an opinion.

Akira ignores them. “Well, you can still text me if you need me. Or call.”

“I’m trying to tell you I’m getting better and I don’t need you,” Futaba grumbles. “Also, what kind of psychopath do you think I am to call someone on the phone?”

“That’s what phones are for.”

“Calling people is scary.”

“I thought you were getting better?” Akira teases.

“I am!” she says, pointing a finger at him. “I am! Just you watch, Akira. I’m getting better every day.”

Six months after joining Kosei, Futaba locks herself in her room and does not reemerge for seven days straight.

She tells Sojiro that she’s sick. Sojiro tells the school that Futaba told him that she’s sick. She definitely fakes a hell of a good cough, and the school lets Yusuke send her her all the homework that she was supposed to be doing in the first place, but Futaba already knows it’s only a matter of time before Sojiro rats on her, and she won’t even blame him because it’ll be for her own good.

In the meantime, she has stashes of crackers and peanut butter from back when she was a full-time hermit. She hates the taste of peanut butter within three days. Her bed is a relief, soft like a home she never left, up until it isn’t anymore. It’s too soft. No matter how she lies on it, no matter how soft it is, a mattress just isn’t comfortable when you’ve been lying on it for seventy-four hours. It’s hot. Smothering. She feels like she’s going to drown in the blankets and they’ll have to fish her moldy, sweaty corpse out of the bottomless quicksand pit of her too-soft mattress.

The thing about being a shut-in is that you don’t actually like your room very much. It’s not a relief, or an oasis, or even a place you enjoy. You’re just terrified of everywhere else more.

She plays a lot of video games that she doesn’t even like. She watches a lot of Twitch streamers she doesn’t even like. She doesn’t do her homework. She ignores Sojiro. She pretends she’s alright to everyone who texts. She wakes up and goes to sleep and thinks about going outside and goes to sleep and wakes up and wonders if the whole last year and her cautious baby steps back into the world outside was all just a hazy dream.

There aren’t a lot of Thieves left in Tokyo, weirdly. Haru and Makoto both graduated, off doing business and law junk that honestly makes Futaba’s brains want to crawl out her ears, but all the numbers check out and Haru’s not in the red yet, and Futaba’s looked at enough people’s dirty laundry to appreciate Haru’s clean ledger. Akira’s back in his dinky hicktown, where there’s barely anything electronic connected to Wifi worth breaking into for surveillance, which is really boring.

Ann’s been doing so many modeling gigs that she might as well not be attending Shujin anymore. She’s practically surrounded by electronics, and all of them are connected to the internet. On any given day, Futaba can snoop through the internet trail of electronic file cabinets full of images of her face, emails about her face, paychecks for her face. Futaba sends Ann more than one email about creepy old dudes making gross comments about her, along with a bunch of other illegal shit they’ve done, plus their offshore accounts full of cash if Ann wants Futaba to sic a lawyer on them.

Ann looks like she’s having fun. Ann looks different on the other side of the computer screen, like she’s less real. Like she’s not someone Futaba really knows. Like Ann’s not someone Futaba’s literally cried on at one point in her life.

Ryuji is definitely attending Shujin, but between physical therapy, catching up on a whole year of track, athletic scholarship hunting, and studying for college admissions tests, Ryuji seems to have been swallowed whole by Shujin, really. Out of boredom, one day, Futaba went down that rabbit hole of researching what it takes to get recruited for track in college, and holy shit–apparently Ryuji’s coach was supposed to be helping him with that whole process, but of course Ryuji barely has a proper coach ever since Kamoshida left Shujin’s track program in pieces. The amount of networking he’s doing is insane, especially for one teenaged boy who barely remembers his homework every night.

Sometimes, when Ryuji’s forgotten to check his email in a while and there’s a message from a coach sitting in his inbox, Futaba will send him a text to make him check it. And then it’s all, What were you doing looking at my emails, Futaba and Which of my other passwords do you know, Futaba, as if Ryuji doesn’t just use the same password over and over and has literally nobody but himself to blame.

So it’s really just Futaba, Yusuke, and–weirdly–Akechi, who’s off doing his gap year and said he was going to go abroad, but then he never did. Not to be a huge snoop, but Futaba went digging through his junk for about five seconds and then she never did it again, because she felt really weird about finding out that the guy that killed her mom is looking into social work, volunteerism, and reforming the justice system.

Like. The man who killed the Thieves’ leader is now literally out there saving orphans. It’s wild.

She might’ve been the one to tell Akechi that he can start over again and do better, but she reserves the right to at least feel weird about it.

She does not call Akira. She talks to Yusuke at school, but she refuses to ask him to accompany her on the subway. She should be recovered by now, shouldn’t she? She was supposed to have gotten over all that when Akira left Tokyo. She’s doing fine. She’s just looking out for her friends. Her, living vicariously through her friends, who’re growing up and growing away, flourishing into young adults? Never.

Everything is the same.

Didn’t she help kill a god last year?

Didn’t she work so hard to get out of her room, to make friends, to reconnect with Kana-chan?

Didn’t she work so hard to change herself?

Didn’t she help change the world?

Everything is the same.

Tuesday, 1:43 PM

YUSUKE: Futaba?

FUTABA: yo inari

FUTABA: u got more homework for me or what

YUSUKE: Ah, no.

YUSUKE: I think your teacher finds it suspicious that I’m sending you homework when I’m not in your grade, as it is.

FUTABA: oh no

FUTABA: what a shame that we didn’t have an entire year of experience with getting away with wildly illegal magic brain crimes without raising any suspicion

FUTABA: truly emailing me like four pieces of paper a day is far too difficult

YUSUKE: Well, I can’t get your homework from your teacher, but I can give you more homework if you’d like.

FUTABA: ok bucko that wasn’t a challenge

YUSUKE: There’s a math problem set that’s been incredibly dull to get through when I have more important pieces I could be working on…

FUTABA: inari im sorry to say but

FUTABA: me literally doing your homework for you is about a thousand times more illegal than you giving me my homework when ur not in my grade

YUSUKE: Oh, is it?

FUTABA: wh

FUTABA: are y

FUTABA: what do you mean OH IS IT

FUTABA: did you not KNOW ur not allowed to have other ppl do ur hw????

FUTABA: inari have u been making other people do ur hw for u so u can have more time to do art?????????

FUTABA: no shut up i dont want to know

FUTABA: i will not be ur accomplice

FUTABA: i see ur little speech bubble thingamajig yusuke i said stop typing forever and ever

YUSUKE: I can’t invite you to the art gallery tomorrow if I can’t type.

YUSUKE: It also seems impractical for you to outlaw me from texting forever.

FUTABA: i literally did not say that

YUSUKE: You said, and I quote,

YUSUKE: “Yusuke, I said stop typing forever and ever.”

FUTABA: ok i know it looks like i said that but please im begging u it’s literally just an exaggeration

YUSUKE: As Makoto would say, it’s hardly an enforceable law.

FUTABA: u literally texted my sick and crusty ass just to give me a hard time

YUSUKE: Are you about recovered from your cold?

FUTABA: and now u have the nerve to ask me to go to ur art show thing

YUSUKE: I didn’t say that.

FUTABA: oh really

FUTABA: what were u gonna ask me about then

YUSUKE: The art show, naturally.

YUSUKE: But you could have done me the courtesy of letting me ask.

FUTABA: all that on the day of my daughter’s wedding and now u want me to do u a solid

FUTABA: well i have news for u

FUTABA: the answer

FUTABA: is yeah

FUTABA: sure why not

YUSUKE: Oh, excellent.

YUSUKE: I thought that you might decline on account of your illness.

FUTABA: i’m not a punk bitch

FUTABA: i’m going

FUTABA: u were only working all those paintings for like two months i wanna see their oily faces in person

YUSUKE: Just because they were made with oil paints does not mean that they are oily.

FUTABA: cant wait to see my oily boys

YUSUKE: Unfortunately, I have to set up the event beforehand, so I will not be able to accompany you on the way here.

YUSUKE: Will you be alright by yourself?

FUTABA: uh

FUTABA: hmm

FUTABA: how oily are these boys in case i need to call a rain check

YUSUKE: Hmm.

YUSUKE: Perhaps someone else can go with you.

YUSUKE: Let me see if I can find someone.

FUTABA: what like one of ur art friends

FUTABA: i’m not going with anyone i dont know sry

YUSUKE: I’ll keep it in mind.

Tuesday, 1:59 PM

YUSUKE: Unfortunately, Ann and Ryuji were not available. Both of them will be coming late to the art show.

YUSUKE: Fortunately, Goro is.

FUTABA: whomst

YUSUKE: Goro Akechi?

YUSUKE: Crow, in case you know multiple Goro Akechis.

FUTABA: no like why u callin him goro

YUSUKE: I asked him if I could and he said yes.

YUSUKE: There’s not many people left in Tokyo who were part of the Thieves.

YUSUKE: I’m not exactly popular at school myself, so I thought it prudent to hold onto the connections I already had.

FUTABA: hhhhhhhhhhhhh

FUTABA: but why him……………………………………….

YUSUKE: Has he done something wrong?

YUSUKE: Well.

YUSUKE: Besides the obvious.

YUSUKE: Last I heard, you were quite vocally supportive of Goro making a change for the better,but have you prehaps reconsidered?

FUTABA: i mean he’s always been nice to me

FUTABA: like even before he was on the team as crow

FUTABA: and then later after he like lost his shit and tried to kill us

FUTABA: he was also like weirdly nice

FUTABA: even if he was dressed as a tokusatsu villain

FUTABA: but

FUTABA: i

FUTABA: ok this is gonna sound really weird but like

FUTABA: you know how i said that the person to take me to the art show has to be someone that i know

YUSUKE: Yes.

FUTABA: even though akechi was one of the thieves at the end

FUTABA: i feel like i dont really know him

FUTABA: he like had that whole breakdown where he spilled all his kylo ren sadstuck junk and then he peeled his dumb ass up off the floor and then we beat up his dad in a dark alley

FUTABA: and then i guess akira likes him a bunch and hangs out with him and i guess probably talked to him about all that stuff that happened

FUTABA: and also i think ann talks to him

FUTABA: and also haru i think for some reason……………………..

FUTABA: but like i feel like. we as a group. never really uhhhhhhh

FUTABA: got to know him very well i guess

FUTABA: because he spent like the whole year being a fake ass bitch

FUTABA: and then by the time he wasnt, the thieves were busy literally fighting god, and it was all business business business

FUTABA: ughghfhg i guess this is just a really long way of saying that like yeah ok i guess i do know him but i dont think i really do

FUTABA: even when he was off the shits in the engine room it was like

FUTABA: somehow that was not……………………………….. really him

FUTABA: idk maybe this is just my Thoughts but like

FUTABA: idk some people are like “your true self is who you are at your worst” and

FUTABA: yeah maybe you are some PART of urself when youre at your worst but like

FUTABA: also not???

FUTABA: that can’t be it

FUTABA: that’s not ALL of you

FUTABA: so all i ever saw was him when he was being a fake ass barbie prince and then when he was like actively losing his shit

FUTABA: and both of those were like. two types of fake ass barbie prince

FUTABA: except obviously the one where he started screamin about murder and trying to kill joker was like, fake ass serial killer barbie prince

FUTABA: anyway i dont buy it for a second that seeing akechi at his worst means that i know the first thing about his “”“”“”“”“true self”“”“”“”“”“”“

FUTABA: like i know that i technically met him but also at the same time i dont think ive ever really actually met this dude

FUTABA: uh tldr what’s the truth crowboy

FUTABA: second tldr do you got anyone else i can go to the art show with because im not unpackin all that junk in the trunk while also trying to fend off a panic attack in the subway

YUSUKE: Well, to speak to "what’s the truth, crowboy,” I’d say he’s actually really funny.

FUTABA: WHAT

YUSUKE: Yes, actually.

FUTABA: YOU TRYNA TELL ME YOU SHARE A SENSE OF HUMOR W AKECHI

YUSUKE: As everyone knows, I don’t have a sense of humor.

YUSUKE: But if I did, that might not be inaccurate to say.

YUSUKE: Either way, we could ask Boss if he’ll take you to school.

FUTABA: no

FUTABA: im not makin him shut down leblanc for the day just cause i cant get my shit together

FUTABA: and i go to school by myself all the time now i dont need to be walked there by my dad like a four yr old

FUTABA: r u sure u dont have anyone else who can take me

YUSUKE: You said it had to be someone you know.

YUSUKE: I can take you.

YUSUKE: But I’ll be getting to Kosei early to prepare.

FUTABA: how early is early

YUSUKE: Four in the morning.

FUTABA: PLEASE INARI

YUSUKE: The people you know is a quite limited pool, Futaba.

FUTABA: shut the hell ur face i dont need u tellin me to make kosei friends too

FUTABA: i get my butt to school every day i’m already a hero

FUTABA: ok alright

FUTABA: crow-san it is

FUTABA: hhh

FUTABA: no shut up stop typing i’m fine

FUTABA: i already saw his dumb ass get inflicted with Horny from Yaldy God Himself i ain’t afraid of no crows

FUTABA: actually now that i remember that that was pretty funny mwehehehehehehe

FUTABA: OKAY send me the who what when where why

YUSUKE: There’s a PDF flier. I’ll send it to you.

YUSUKE: But I will have to type the email to send it to you.

FUTABA: oh my GOD inari

FUTABA: i swear to god ur not actually this dense and youre just pretending u dont know what an exaggeration is just to drive me up the wall

YUSUKE: Oh, that is a possibility, isn’t it?

FUTABA: WH

YUSUKE: Ah, last period is starting. I’ll have to talk to you later.

FUTABA: WHAT

FUTABA: NO WAIT

FUTABA: HELLO????

FUTABA: YUSUKE NO COME BACK

Tuesday, 2:53 PM

FUTABA: YUSUKE HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING AKECHI DO UR HW FOR U SO YOU CAN DO MORE ART??

FUTABA: IS THAT WHY UR ON A FIRST NAME BASIS W HIM

FUTABA: ANSWER ME STRINGBEAN

In Futaba’s opinion, there’s an infinite amount of more embarrassing reasons to pull yourself out of your depression pit than “I needed to yell at my friend for being a snotty bastard,“ and there’s worse escorts to have than the weird guy who went from being a professional murderer to their weird awkward friend. Firstly, if there’s anything that can motivate Futaba Sakura, it’s the primal urge to dunk on her friends for spite and memes. Secondly, there’s no chance in hell Futaba’s going to have a breakdown in front of Akechi.

She can do this. She got herself out of this grave once; she can do it again. Even if Akira isn’t here. She’s getting better. She promised him.

On the eighth day of her almost-return to hermithood, Akechi texts her:

AKECHI: I’m here.

AKECHI: Are you ready to go?

Futaba is wearing only an old shirt, no bra, sweats, and vaguely greasy hair from all the showers she’s skipped.

FUTABA: i’m SO ready

FUTABA: the readiest

FUTABA: ultra mega super ready

FUTABA: featherman ranger code name Ready

AKECHI: Oh.

AKECHI: Alright.

Hell yes alright. Time for Futaba to save her own life from her gravesite of a room.

With… Goro Akechi. Wow, life is weird, huh?

She drags on her Kosei uniform like a skin discarded long ago. It feels stiff. Maybe because it feels wrong to wear school clothes like a functioning human; maybe because she just hasn’t washed it in a week. The very idea of explaining herself to Sojiro stresses her out, so she doesn’t do it. The idea of not explaining herself to Sojiro, when he deserves an explanation and also would probably have a heart attack if he realized that she’d disappeared from her room without his knowing, also stresses her out, so she still doesn’t explain herself to Sojiro.

I told Akira I’m better now. I can do this. I did this for more than six months. I was out of my room in the real world, I went to the school festival, I changed my own heart…

She creeps down the stairs like a thief in her own house and pokes her head out the door. Goro Akechi is fiddling with his phone in the sun outside her house, looking like he, too, has only just managed to pull on his Human Suit and look like a guy who didn’t make shadows beg for mercy for fun, so it looks like this whole expedition is going to be a lot of fun.

"Futaba-chan?” says Akechi, only just noticing her lurking in her own doorway. “It’s been a while since we last saw each other. How are you?”

Futaba opens her mouth. No noise comes out.

Akechi’s eyebrows slowly begin to knit together.

“I’m good,” she says squeakily. Clears her throat. Holy shit, she’s not afraid of Akechi after all that junk they went through in the Metaverse. She saw him as a rat. She saw him visibly want to break his father’s face when Shido tried to apologize to him on live TV. Once, Makoto and Akechi got into an unironic, passionate, hour-long argument about whether or not it’s beneficial to color code your notes.

“I’m alright!” Futaba announces louder, maybe a little loudly, considering the way he looks only more concerned. “L-Let’s hurry up and get this sidequest over with!”

She pulls her hoodie over her head and jams her hands into the pockets and makes herself as small as possible and inches out of the doorway. “If you… say so,” says Akechi, and eventually matches her incredibly slow pace as she shuffles her way towards the main street.

When the noise of Yongen-Jaya’s street hits her, her heart rate (already high as hell) spikes even higher like the first day she’d come out of her room, but the old coping mechanisms come back like second nature: Breathe slower, avoid eye contact, remember her mission, stick to the sides of the streets. Breathe slower. She’s still got it. It’s still hard, but she’s got a whole arsenal of ways to deal. She can do this. She will kick Yusuke’s ass for being a dick, if only out of sheer spite.

If Akira were here, I could hide behind him and…

No, shut up, shut up. All she has is her hoodie and Goro Akechi. Akira’s not here. She can do this by herself.

Akechi makes precisely two attempts at small talk (“How has Kosei been?” “Have you seen the pieces Yusuke submitted to the art show before?”) before he realizes that Futaba isn’t going to respond by virtue of barely holding onto her shit by her fingernails. He shuts up and sticks close by. Futaba makes her way down the streets towards the subway like walking on a tightrope. The subway station isn’t busy, but she puts every step in front of her like she’s going to fall. Getting on the subway might as well be a highwire. Futaba and Akechi wait for the train in mutual silence to the sound of other commuters murmuring amongst themselves, like a toothless echo of Mementos’s depths.

When they get on the train, people around her are quiet, thank god, but all of a sudden she’s convinced that she smells because she hasn’t taken a shower in literal days, and she tries to pack herself into her seat as tightly as possible. The guy in front of her is scrolling through something at a ferocious pace and his thumbnail keeps hitting the screen with this incessant clack, clack, clack noise. The subway voice announces their next station as the doors begin to close, and a girl suddenly sits bolt upright, having realized that this is her station after all, and bangs Futaba’s knees hard as she passes. Futaba wants to curl her legs to her chest, but she’s wearing Kosei’s uniform skirt and it’d just make everyone stare at her if she did that on the subway. She curls her fingers into the skirt hem. She stares down at her knees and lets her hair drape around her like a curtain. She can do this. She can do this. Breathe slower. Even slower. I did this for more than six months, I told Akira I’m better now, I changed my own heart…

Akechi pulls out his phone. Futaba’s phone buzzes.

AKECHI: Are you alright?

FUTABA: i said i was ready dude

Akechi types and retypes an answer, which technically Futaba could just look over his arm and read, but instead Futaba flips through apps on her phone and pulls up a shitty mobile dungeon crawler. She dies four times before Akechi puts his phone away without sending anything.

They pass multiple stations like that. Futaba sure as hell hopes that Akechi’s watching which station they’re on, because she isn’t. After the millionth time she dies, Futaba just closes the app altogether. Concentration’s shot. Can’t focus on anything. Heartbeat’s too loud. Breathing’s too loud. The guy next to her is breathing too loud. Everything is too loud.

New text:

AKECHI: Yusuke said you’d recovered from your cold, but you still look a little unwell.

Futaba doesn’t respond to that. She doesn’t need Negative Nancy over here telling her she’s gonna crack. Because she isn’t gonna. The subway starts to slow, and the voice announces the station for Yusuke’s school. She’s literally almost there, she’s right there, she might die in three seconds because her heart is going to pound of her chest but at least she’s going to make it, she promised Akira that she was alright—

The subway doors open. Passengers stand to get off. Akechi stands up. Futaba drops like a rock.

“I can’t,” Futaba’s voice says. She sounds like she’s crying. “I can’t, I can’t do it, I—”

“Futaba—”

“I’m can’t do it, I—”

She buries her face in her knees on the dirty subway floor. Oh, she really is crying. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t…”

Around her, people’s feet stop moving. They’re staring at her. She’s crying on the subway and everyone is staring at her. “Shh,” says Akechi, like Futaba doesn’t know she’s being a loud and irritating pest, but then he takes off his winter coat and covers her with it. Suddenly everything goes dark. It’s a huge coat, too; it wraps around her whole torso with enough room to spare to cover her entire head. Inside, it’s like she’s back in her room, only listening to the sounds of real life somewhere on the other side of a computer monitor, where it can’t hurt her. It’s so surprising she hiccups to a stop. Two hands pull her up by the shoulders and guide her to stand. “Up. Let’s go.”

“Is she okay?” says a voice.

Futaba’s entire body seizes with fear. She ducks into her own knees, trying to disappear.

“Hey, little girl, are you alright?”

“She’ll be fine,” says Akechi’s friendly, super fake ass barbie prince voice. “My sister just had a hard day. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“A hard day?” Now the stranger’s voice is accusatory.

“For your information, our dog was recently brutally run over in front of her eyes.”

“Young man, are you serious right now?”

“Oh, yes. There was blood everywhere. Its intestines squelched horribly under the tires less than six feet away from her,” Akechi goes on. Futaba chokes, and then hiccups in what she realizes is almost a laugh. “Please excuse her. Thank you.” And before the literal complete stranger can follow up on that awful statement, Akechi takes her hand and pulls her up.

Futaba stumbles to her feet. If she has to take the coat off right now, she will actually die.

“It’s okay. Just hold my hand and follow me.”

Blindly, she lets him lead her out of the subway, weaving through people with only minimal contact with other people’s shoulders. There’s a whole awkward period where Akechi has to walk her up the stairs out of the subway station while she can’t see anything, but eventually the noise and bustle of other people around her seems to die away, and the air grows cooler in the way it does in the shadows between city buildings. Then they stop walking altogether. When Akechi lets go of her hand, she almost tries to grab it back before she catches herself.

“Okay. There’s nobody else around, now. It’s safe.”

Futaba doesn’t come out of the jacket. In the dark, her eyes dart back and forth, trying to see even as she blinds herself.

“Sorry for grabbing you so suddenly like that,” Akechi’s voice goes on after it becomes obvious she’s not going to come out.

Futaba wipes snottily at her own face. Oh, this is so gross, she’s got snot and tears on top of five days worth of grime and body juice because she hadn’t taken a shower. She’s disgusting. She really actually wants to die right now. She can’t show her face like this.

“Er,” says Akechi. “Do you want…. water, or…?”

Futaba folds up right there on the city pavement, probably dragging Akechi’s nice coat all over a dirty alleyway. She tucks her face into her knees, where she feels safest, and pulls the coat flaps even tighter. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be.”

“I’m sorry for not being okay,” she mumbles.

There’s a short silence. “You really don’t have to be.”

“I do,” Futaba says. She feels like she’s nine years old again, a petulant kid who needs to hold people’s hands and be escorted around Tokyo. “This is—it’s stupid, and I can’t believe I-I’m still doing this, a-and even a-after everything that h-happened last year, I’m still just a… I’m still…”

“It’s fine,” says Akechi. Even he sounds overwhelmed, and at the first sound of weakness, she pulls the coat off her head and glares at him furiously, red-faced and covered in tears and snot and gross depression juice crust and all.

“I’m not supposed to be this way anymore!” she says miserably. “I’m supposed to be better! Moved on! Doing literally a-anything else but crying over t-taking a subway! It’s stupid and nobody else is like this and I just want to be over this already and I just want to be better already and—!“

She covers her face with her hands again. God, even when she says that, it sounds pathetic.

After a moment or two, she hears Akechi moving again. She peeks at him. He’s crouching in almost the exact same pose as her, looking like he’s resigning himself to neither getting his coat back, nor moving from this spot any time soon, nor getting to Yusuke’s art show on time, but also looking archly and entirely unperturbed about it. Actually, it looks like he’s writing a work email on his phone.

Futaba was right about being in an alleyway, but it’s so cold because they’re shielded by a trio of vending machines selling canned coffee and wrapped sandwiches. "Our dog was recently run over?” she says.

“People can mind their own damn business,” says Akechi in his Pleasant Boy Voice, without looking up from his email.

“He was just trying to help.”

“Oh, yes, let’s help the crying girl by crowding her and suffocating her in a crush of public transit.”

Futaba snorts. “That was really mean of you.”

“Oh, absolutely,” says Akechi.

Futaba sucks a truly disgusting gob of snot into her nose. “Ugh. I wish I could’ve seen the guy’s face when you told him that.”

“It was like I’d spat on his shoes. I should’ve kept going. Or had a camera.”

“Futaba giggles wetly into her forearms. "Like one of those—those prank videos online… Get Yusuke to film it.”

“Yusuke, as the cameraman? I’m not trying to make a documentary.” Akechi flips to a different screen on his phone. “I already texted Yusuke about our poor dead dog, by the way, so don’t worry about it.”

Suddenly Futaba feels like literal garbage again. “Why are you always so nice to me?” she mumbles.

Akechi makes a weird face, like he’s trying to do his old Pleasant Boy shtick while having swallowed a lemon whole. “You say that like me being nice is somehow unusual.”

“Uh, yeah. Because it is. You literally were just being a huge asshole to a guy you’d never met over a fictional dog.”

Akechi has this increasingly disgruntled look on his face like he kind of wants to punt Futaba down some stairs, which, frankly, is the best sort of reward, in Futaba’s opinion. “I’m working on it,” he says grumpily.

“How’s that been?” says Futaba.

“Which part?”

Futaba has one whole moment of self reflection on this idea as maybe not a good course of action before she barrels on anyway: “The part where you’re turning your life around. Starting over. Trying again.”

“It sucks dick,” says Akechi.

“Oh, right on,” says Futaba, and then before she can stop herself: “Wait, I thought you liked dick?”

Akechi makes a noise like a strangled cat.

Futaba cackles. “Dude, incognito mode when you’re browsing for porn does not save you from people like me.”

“Have you been spying on me?”

“Uh, yes? Obviously?”

“You know you could get arrested for that sort of breach in privacy.”

“Oh, boo hoo, so sorry I know all about your weird orphan-saving night job and your smutty Featherman doujinshi collection. You’re not gonna narc on me.” Futaba stops. “Are you?”

“Stop looking at my internet history.”

“No. You better not narc on me.”

“Then stop looking at my internet history.”

“You had to google how to change a SIM card last week, crow-boy; you couldn’t stop me if you tried.”

“I will narc on you.”

“No you won’t. You’re the one trying to not be an asshole.”

Akechi makes a face like a cat being slowly submerged in cold water. Futaba laughs in his face.

“If you’re quite done,” says Akechi grouchily.

“No, never. You’re made for being made fun of,” says Futaba. “I’m gonna be making fun of you for years and years, crow-boy; you’re never going to get rid of me.”

“Great.”

“Gonna be creeping on your weird orphan-saving night job until the day you die.”

“Wonderful,” says Akechi without inflection whatsoever.

“Mwehehehehehehehehehe.”

“If you’re quite done.”

“I will take a well-deserved break from my endless duty to troll you both on and offline,” says Futaba. “Because I really really really wanna go to the art show.”

Akechi has the nerve to look relieved that he no longer has to squat in a dirty alleyway listening to a high school freshman bully him. “Then let’s go.”

Futaba hugs her knees tight. “But I wanna keep your coat.”

“Aren’t you wearing your own coat?” says Akechi, trying to look like he isn’t shivering. “Aren’t you getting hot?”

“I’m keeping it.”

“It’s my coat.”

“I’m keeping it.”

“Fine, then. Keep it. It’s dry clean only.”

“Oh, ew. No, take it back, gross, gross,” and Futaba peels the snotty, tear-stained, dirty winter coat off and dumps it back in Akechi’s arms, who looks at it with the expression of someone long-suffering and without hope of escape.

“And,” says Futaba, “I wanna see it if you tell anyone else that our dog got run over.”

Akechi smirks. “You’ll have to film it, then.”

“Oh my god, like I wouldn’t.”

Futaba scrubs her face one last time. She still feels like she’s covered in a grimy layer of slime, but maybe she can wash her face at Kosei. When she gets there. Because she’s gonna get there.

“Uh, one more thing,” says Futaba.

“Not like you’ve bullied me into doing literally everything else you’ve wanted,” says Akechi.

“You can’t laugh at me.”

“Good thing I don’t have a sense of humor,” says Akechi, which horrifyingly confirms to Futaba that Akechi and Yusuke, of all people, really do share a sense of humor.

Futaba hesitates. “Please, um… please don’t tell Akira about this.”

“Why would I tell Akira?“

"Nice. Good answer.” She smooths her hair down, trying to make herself presentable, or just have something to do with her hands. “I… told him I was gonna be okay without him and all that, so… I don’t wanna let him down, you know?”

Slowly, almost shyly, Akechi smiles. “Oh, yes. I know.”

“Our secret. Secret-keepers.”

“Secret-keepers. Are you ready?”

Futaba takes another deep breath. Pushes herself up, brushes herself off, and sighs. “Absolutely not. This is gonna suck so much dick,” says Futaba. “Let’s go anyway.”

#mine #slams hands on table FUTAGO SIBLINGS #futaba's dubious mental health cw #Anonymous

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iceglade · 4 years

Text

i made a thread on twitter about this but i've been thinking about vanilla vs royal i cant handle how happy i am that royal has made ppl like akechi more, not just for "hes hot" reasons bc ppl love that but winning over reddit* folks who dislike many fanon takes for being too wooby,

not that i particularly care for Wooby bc ive been in fandom for ages and i like seeing ppl happy - i know theres a certain degree of allowance when it comes to twisting canon characterization for content, because you're the content creator, its in your hands and cmon-

but especially with royal i think akechi's serious edge "won over a lot of people" who can now respect him for how he approached refusing the dream world, i think thats something they can understand and appreciate - ESPECIALLY when a lot of ppl's beef with vanilla akechi was "daddy doesnt love me boo hoo" which is a GROSS misunderstanding/simplification of his EXTREMELY complex character, which was barely covered or etc bc of vanilla's horrid writing -- over all! its not JUST him - BUT, royal provided such a good opportunity to show off akechi's character, through giving him more screentime and VERY IMPORTANTLY: Plot Relevance like how, say mementos mission shows off joker's need to be helpful bc hes a deep-feeling person, or scramble showing off haru and makoto and the other thieves by drawing them against the new characters to compare and contrast and give them Time to BE, - royal gave akechi time to recover from the frankly AWFUL vanilla narrative decision to shoot and shove him off like chopped liver and never mention him again, so that many ppl's impression of akechi goro was of an incomprehensible, annoying character who blew up and then acted like he dont knowww know bodaay haghnaghnahgna

i joke but SERIOUSLY a bad first AND last impression, REALLY...

ahh. im just surprised !! every time someone says they like him or that they disliked him earlier but dont post-royal or etc etc it always takes me by surprise even after all this time !! it makes me very happy -though even as i focus on how happy i am that people like his character, even streamers talking about his ass (what ass... ... cindy thats bone) or etc- i shouldnt, but i still count it as a sort of win because my standards are so low ;-;.. i dont like sexualizing characters (of any gender or sexuality, dont worry ^-^'') but the point of it all is that the amount of stannery is .. stunning i think, from all ends of the fandom, when i think about how nervous vanilla felt to me. if im wording this all right.

-- that being said. obviously there are ppl who still dont like him, VEHEMENTLY, and everyone gets so passionate about him and everything that tension and fights erupt very very quickly - it makes me wonder what about royal didnt hit with them, but hit with other people, in a Genuinely Curious kind of way. not that im not suuper passionate about goroboying, because, i am !! royal makes me very happy and i stay out of fights as best as i can because i know, ACUTELY, how PAINFUL it is to have a hyperfixation broken. nauseous furious shaking heart aching - its heartbreak !! i'd rather die before i inflicted a pain like that on someone. + id rather remember something for the love i felt for it than the harm.

(though while i'm here, people who were in the "# p5r spoilers" tag remember what happened a little while ago shortly after royal jpn came out , though that's for a whole other post about the fascinating history/sociology of that particular event, 👁✨)

- its not about me having to choose between a lesser of two evils. thats not my point

no matter how intensely my heart is in it, i want to be able to say that you can feel how you feel about characters, though any misinformation sits badly with me in hyperfixation hell. funnily enough, while back on the topic of Agency, which goro is in some dire need of - which may be the root of why so many femme-presenting folk or lesbians are fond of him, + respecting women + sex workers + etc GORO AKECHI CAN BE SOMEONE SO PERSONAL ACTUALLY-

* - oh, backreading my own post - i didnt mean to specify redditors as if they're the only ppl i'm talking about, but it was the first to come to mind ; i'm just thinking a lot about how it seems like people really like the light royal was able to display him in, both as a delightfully entertaining UNHINGED EDGELORD and a very focused, goal-oriented, respectable ally, to the point that people are MUCH more open about how much they love him nowadays, which does bring me no end of joy - its no surprise that the new appreciation, as well as atlus ... highlighting ..... aspects ...... of blask ...... and the new content, of course the fandom treats him like this, - thats fandom. this is how people do i suppose. from a witness' viewpoint. hdngngm

i see all i know all 👁 i will keep all of my opinions right here and then one day i will die. but. i'll be honest. despite everything. im actually really happy.

#don't mind me #persona 5 #p5r spoilers #i mean to post more here ! the app is just slow and saddening #oops! left out 5 tweets. edited in now

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emy-loves-you · 3 years

Text

Useless Gays: The Prequel Chapter 2

Thick as Thieves

Chapter 1 | Masterlist | Chapter 3

So this chapter is divided into 3 flashbacks: The first one has Roman at 5 years old, 10 in the second one, and somewhere between 20 and 24 in the third one (after high school, before WNaUG). For those of you who are reading this and not WNaUG (which makes no sense but okay), Rebecca/ReeRee is Remus' deadname. Remus and Roman are fraternal twins, with Remus being slightly older. Remus will be using the name Rebecca and she/her pronouns because: 1.) Remus didn't realize that he was a boy until he was 13, so he wouldn't use male pronouns yet. 2.) This chapter is all in Roman's POV. Roman never knew that Remus transitioned, since he ran away before telling Roman. So, until someone tells him, Roman will always use she/her pronouns when describing ReeRee.

“Come on, Ro! It’s not that high!” She laughed, striking a dramatic pose.

“Yes, it is!” 8-year-old Roman yelled, balling his hands up at his sides. She knew he was afraid of heights! Roman started crying, and he glared at the bottom of the tree. He was such a crybaby. Why couldn’t he be brave like her?

She stopped laughing. Roman looked up and saw her smiling softly at him, no longer teasing. “(Sigh) Here, give me your hand. We’ll go up together.” She crouched on the tree branch, using one hand to steady herself and lowered the other one towards Roman.

Roman frowned, eyeing the hand in suspicion. “You’re not gonna drop me, right?”

She raised her arm to place over her heart. “I swear as your big sister-”

“By six minutes!”

“I won’t drop you. Or pretend to drop you. Or shake the branch. Or drop down and leave you up here-”

“Okay, I get it!” Roman yelled, stomping his foot.

She smiled again, the type of smile that Roman wishes he saw more often. It was the smile that said I love you. You mean the world to me. I will always protect you. “I would never use your fear for my own amusement. You know that, Ro. And if you fall, I’ll catch you. I promise.” She extended her hand again. “Now get your butt up here! I have somethin’ to show ya!”

Roman grabbed her hand, and there was a scary woosh before he was in the tree. He buried his head in her hair, so scared. We’re so high up and we’re gonna fall fall fall fall fa-

“Shh,” her hand rubbed against his back, grounding him. “We’re fine, we’re safe, nothin’s gonna happen I swear.” They sat like that for a few minutes, Romans sobs slowly turning into sniffles. She slowly pulled away, using her hands to keep Roman steady. “Better?” He nodded. “Good. Now look.” She pointed somewhere off to his left. He forced himself to look away from her face, his fears resurfacing. He took a deep breath before turning towards his left.

“Woah.” There, on the neighboring branch, was a bird’s nest. There were two eggs, and Roman watched as cracks slowly formed along the eggs. The two birds were nearly identical, with the bird on the right hatching seconds before its sibling. “They’re so pretty.”

“That’s us.” She relaxed on the branch, her back leaning up against the tree. “Birds of a feather flock together. And we’ll stay together, even when our wings are plucked and our dreams are shattered. Twins forever, right?”

He opened his mouth to respond. “Righ-”

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” Roman shrieked in fright, suddenly losing his grip on the branch. He screamed as he started to fall.

“Ro!” Suddenly, arms were wrapped around him, and he landed on top of her. “Ah! God that hurt! Are you okay Ro!”

Ro nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay.” He got up and gasped. “Your arm!” Her arm was twisted from where it was crushed underneath him.

She went to move it and hissed in pain. “I think it’s broken.” She smiled, but Roman could see tears in her eyes. “At least I caught you! I told you that you’d be fine!” Before Roman could respond, his mother marched up to them. Momma immediately began to scold them, only noticing her broken arm when she went to grab her and she screamed in pain.

Roman was told to clean his room while they went to the doctor. When they returned, she had a lime green cast on her arm. Momma took away their favorite toys (her dolls and Roman’s foam sword) before telling them to clean up the kitchen. Roman grabbed a red sharpie, signing his name on her cast. She smirked. “Your ‘m’ looks like a ‘v.’”

“Does not!”

“Does too!”

“Does not!”

“Does too!”

“Does not!” She realized what had happened an laughed. “Good one, Ro.” She used her good hand to ruffle his hair. Her special smile was back, the one that she only gave him.

He giggled, leaning into her touch. “Thanks, ReeRee!”

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Boom!

Roman shrieked, pulling his blanket over his head. He could hear the heavy rain against his window. He loved rain (he stomped in puddles while she made mud pies) but he hated thunder. It was so loud and he could never tell when it would-

Boom!

He shrieked again. He flushed in embarrassment. He was 10, for God’s sake! He shouldn’t be afraid of something as silly as thunder! His sister had gotten over these stupid fears years ago! His mind wandered to his sister. Can I?

He shook his head. It’s really late at night, she’s probably sleeping. When they were younger, Roman would go stay in her room during thunderstorms (he’d tried going to his parents room once, but they yelled at him and sent him back to his room). But that was when they were younger. They were 10 now, and she kicked him out last time he went into her room uninvited.

Boom!

Roman jumped, falling off of his bed. That’s it! He quickly grabbed his Dragon Witch (a stuffed animal that Uncle Terrence gave him for his 7th birthday) and ran out of his room. He made his way down the hall until he reached the pink door. Roman scrunched up his nose. His sister hated pink. She had asked their father if they could repaint her door green, and he yelled at her. He opened the door, stepping into her room. Since their parents never went into their rooms anymore, she had redecorated it. The pink walls were covered in drawings of green tentacles. The floor was filthy, with dirty clothes and torn drawings strewn about. Roman was surprised to see his sister awake, sketching a new tentacle drawing. “Thought you might show up.” She said, setting down her sketchpad. She patted part of the bed next to her. “Come on, I don’t bite.”

Roman hurried over, diving under the blankets. He shrieked as another clap of thunder hit. He felt a hand in his hair and tensed. The hand paused for a moment, before slowly rubbing Roman’s scalp. He relaxed, leaning into the touch. He always loved his sister, but he loved this version of her the most. When she realized that he was actually scared, not startled or mildly uncomfortable. She wouldn’t tease him or ask unnecessary questions. Sometimes she would twist together a tale from nothing, concocting a story of pain and hardship, of love and trust. Other times she wouldn’t speak, offering silent comfort and protection against the world around them. He sighed, finally drifting off to dreamless slumber. The last thing he knew before darkness took him was the press of her lips to his forehead as he drifted off. “Goodnight, Ro.”

Goodnight, Ree...

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“Ro, you gotta wake up!”

Roman woke up with a gasp, his chest heavy. He forced himself to breathe, shaking like a leaf. He felt a hand in his hair, and he immediately lunged, burying his face in her shoulder. He sobbed, listening to the gentle shushing sounds as he was rocked back and forth. He felt a second hand on his back, and he started babbling. “ReeRee, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should’ve listened to you. I should’ve trusted you.”

“Oh, sweety.” Roman jerked up. Patton stared back, tears running down his cheeks. He felt the hand on his back retreat, and he grabbed it, bringing Logan closer. Patton’s hand pressed against his cheek, and Roman suddenly realized that he was crying.

“’m sorry.” He muttered, wiping his eyes.

“It’s okay, sweety.” Patton assured him, pulling Roman into a side hug. He felt Logan do the same on his left. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Roman shook his head, still feeling slightly despondent. “Okay. Do you wanna stay up and cuddle?” Roman nodded, sighing when he felt Patton’s fingers in his hair. In less than an hour, they would all drift back into a dreamless sleep. A few hours from now, they would each go to work, a cheerful facade in place. But for now, they stayed there, silent tears streaking down their faces. For Patton and Logan, it was for the pain their lover was going through. For Roman, it was for the sister that he had pushed away,

You said you would always be there to catch me, ReeRee. But I pushed you away. Now I’m so scared that I’ll fall again. What am I going to do without you there to catch me?

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Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst @whatishappeningrightnow @idont-freaking-know @cute-and-angsty-princess @artsy-enby09 @girl-who-reads @drarrymalecsolangelo @count-woe-laf @im-an-anxious-wreck @ent-is-undecisive

#useless gays #sanders sides fic #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders

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jmkitsune · 3 years

Note

All the red emoji asks 😝😝😝

💄 - do you wear makeup?

not anymore, used to in high school (eyliner/nail polish) would again but honestly I'd need someone to do it for me, I'm far too impatient

💋 - when was/have you had your first kiss?

I was 14/15

👠 - do you enjoy shopping?

eh I'm not a "shopper" I know what I want, I order/buy it then im done, I never was one of the perusing type

🧣 - do you consider yourself fashionable?

if I was in an anime sure then maybe I could afford the fashion I like

⛑ - has someone ever saved your life?

not that I can think of in relation to the way the question is asked

🎒 - what’s your favorite school subject?

literature/history/chorus/music theory

🐞 - are you a superstitious person?

hardly

🐙 - what’s your favorite animal?

*points to screen name* foxes

🍄 - what’s your favorite vegetable?

cucumber

🌹 - are you a romantic?

painfully

🍎 - what’s your favorite fruit?

uhhh oranges? green apples? I dunno- it may surprise people but I don't eat a lot of fruit XD

🍉 - what’s your favorite season?

spring/autumn

🍓 - what’s a memory that reminds you of your childhood?

I remember building lego model kits a LOT and like making all these elaborate stories for them all, my first (not remotely original idea) was "legos vs plastics" based on the plastic army men type toys vs lego type toys" ....yes I'm aware legos are plastic, I was like 10 and had an old laptop with word pad.

🍒 - what’s your favorite flower?

Sakura Blossoms

🍅 - do you consider tomatoes fruits or vegetables?

I consider them gross

🌶 - can you handle spicy foods?

I'm white sooooo no

🥩 - do you eat meat?

only two type and according to most the world one doesn't count lol (Mcdonalds double cheese burgers) the other is kosher hot dogs other than that- NOPE

🥫 - tomato soups with grilled cheese or by itself?

Grilled cheese and a side of sliced cucumbers w ketchup for dipping lightly salted

🍫 - dark or milk chocolate?

white chocolate or milk chocolate OR chocolate and mint

🥤 - what’s your favorite drink?

vanilla coke or rootbeer

🍷 - are you old enough to drink?

sadly I'm older than that

🏓 - what’s your favorite sport?

soccer or martial arts

🥊 - do you think fighting solves problems sometimes?

I dunno, you punch an asshole hard enough they stop being an asshole, break a nazi's arm they're 50% less likely to do stupid nazi shit

I'm a technical pacifist in that I do not seek violence, however if violence comes to my door I'll be sure to meet it in kind but only enough to

Disarm, disable, disengage

🥁 - do you play an instrument?

used to play guitar a lot, know a LITTLE ocarina, learned BASIC as fuck piano and some BASIC BASIC bass guitar, was in chorus sooo like BASIC singing knowledge (I'm not good though)

🎸 - what kinds of music do you like?

good music

🚗 - can you drive yet?/do you want to?

I'm old enough

but I hate driving and ideally I'll never do it

🚨 - have you ever gotten a ticket/pulled over?

not as a driver been in the car enough times during it though

☎️ - who was the last person you called?

uhhh I think I called about my vaccine back in like april

⏰ - are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owl

💉 - are you afraid of needles?

nah

🎈 - what was the wildest party you’ve ever thrown?

I don't throw parties

📮 - do you enjoy getting mail?

provided its not bills sure

📕 - what’s your favorite book?

ya know what- fuck it I'll be vain. my books I'm a damn good writer and people are missing out on what I write

📌 - do you enjoy school?

I enjoy learning for the sake of learning

not for the sake of being a cog in the capitalist machine

📍 - what’s your dream travel destination?

somewhere I can be at peace

❤️ - do you have a crush right now?

I mean if I did- they know I do thats all that matters

💔 - have you ever broken a heart/had your heart broken?

hahahahha yea its called being a romantic, it tends to happen

🉐 - do you speak another language?

Al Bhed (not fluently but well enough) Pig Latin (ifyay ouyay ancay understandyay igpay atinlay ootay , oodgay onyay ayay , utbay ifyay otnay , onay iggiebay itsyay ayay illysay anguagelay utbay ancay ebay unfay) Took 2 years of spanish and remember...like zilch sadly tried learning Japanese via subbed Anime over the years but nothing TRULY stuck languages are hard for me to coherently remember, if I do its subconscious

❌ - what’s an unpopular opinion you have?

fandoms are a mistake and should all be avoided at all costs

🛑 - what’s a turn off in a relationship for you?

being a conservative/old fashion/traditionalist/right winged/believing that the "old days were better and people today are the worst by comparison"

it screams internalized bigotry or unresolved bigotry that'll come to fights later over something

💯 - what’s something you are extremely proud of right now?

that in 1 year I've written 5 novels worth of a story project, that is a novel every 2-3 months

🚭 - do/have you smoked?

gods know and its a HUGE turn off, the smell and such just makes me very uncomfortable and triggers bad memories

❗️- what’s something unusual about you?

My view on how the world should I'm told

♦️ - what’s your favorite game?

final fantasy X, siege, star wars KOTOR, (ok any star wars game really)

🇨🇳 - what ethnicity are you?

Mother- Irish, Russian ancestry --Russian side fled during the revolution due to the red v white armies, Irish (supposedly) were kicked out as they were horse thieves Father- Irish, Scottish, British ancestry --I have zero idea on those because never talked to my dad about any of it so I'm whatever.

end of the day though I'm American. I don't cling to my ancestry as that was then, I am now. I am Terran/of Earth that's what matters to me, nothing else, especially not where I got to be born, as I had zero control over it.

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sargentr · 5 years

Text

so i reread the dream thieves a while back and i wrote down some stuff i hadn’t really noticed/paid that much attention to. some of them are mere observations others are just me. Fangirling. as one does:

* ronan's first love was his family

* adam tried his best to make things work with blue, just like everything else he had tried in his life

* gansey is very well aware of his privilege and wealth

* ronan has two weaknesses: niall lynch and adam parrish

* noah was there for ronan is ways not even ronan realized

* when ronan was filled with anger for a reason i cant remember, he relaxed a bit when gansey, beside him, answered his phone and said "hey" into it, meaning it was adam. (this is from ronans pov) like!!! theyre so comfortable around each other can i leave

* adam was so furious at gansey for thinking he had made the st agnes bill easier for him that he didnt realize that it had ronan written all over it

* gansey was such a light hearted and carefree person that there was not a single person in aglionby who did not know who he was. it is described that while others tried to fit in aglionby, aglionby fit perfectly in gansey. he was the type of person who the teachers would hold for a second after class to show him the article they thought he might like. HE’S BABY.

* gansey and ronan's relationship was not based on communication.

* adam always thought how beautiful all of gansey's things were.

* ronan lynch was one of those things

* gansey often reminded himself how niall lynch's death affected ronan

* ronan would rather die than kill adam

* the image of ronan trying (and lying) to take his life was scarred into gansey like ink

* gansey and ronan fought a night creature and fit perfectly as a team (gansey's pov)

* clue number two of non heterosexual ronan niall lynch: "(blue) wore a dress ronan thought looked like a lampshade. whatever sort of lamp it belonged on, gansey clearly wished he had one. ronan wasn't a fan of lamps."

* ronan lynch is completely and utterly himself the first time he steps foot in the barns

* RONAN REFERRING TO ADAM AS EINSTEIN

* ronan has no chill whatsoever omg when they're in the barns and checking to see if the animals are still alive blue asks ronan to check some of them and he replies to her and adam "you two poverty twins do it"

* confirmed: ronan lynch is a complete cupcake (eg: pressing the small mouse to his cheek to check the heartbeat)

* confirmed: richard gansey is a bigger cupcake for smiling ear to ear while doing the same

* !!!! "and it was his smile that buried ronan"!!!! (referring to gansey and the mouse)

* "... adam replied, his henrietta accent sneaking out, betraying his fatigue. it was something deeper." (ronan's pov)

* second confirm: ronan lynch is a Softie™ (eg: when they were about to leave the barns but ronan whispered so just gansey heard "can i go and see mom?" HE IS ALSO BABY

* OKAY BUT GANSEY AND RONAN THIS ENTIRE BOOK: "i remember when you used to smell like this" referring to when they enter the main house at the barns.

* "ronan loved it so much. he nearly couldn't bare it. he wanted to destroy something." (((this is about the barns. protect this sunshine)))

* when blue saw a picture of a bird in the barns and asked, "are these vultures or crows?" and adam and ronan replied at the same time, "vultures" "crows" NERDS

* "i am being perfectly fucking civil" still to this day, the best thing ronan lynch has ever said.

* "ronan looked at gansey. that look, blue thought. ronan lynch would do anything for gansey" claps slowly

* BONUS: "i probably would, too." thought blue

* matthew lynch was the only thing that made ronan come back himself

* niall left ronan (and only ronan) his entire property

* gansey shops when he's sad

* gansey and adam sharing a LOOK when orla comes in with skin showing

* blue had very few skin showing and gansey wanted to tell he how much he liked hers and not orlas, but then thinking "that's adam's job" what a bean

* how extra can ronan lynch get (a series): making a complete SCENE while opening his car door, sitting inside, closing the door, driving away

* gansey protesting so blue wouldnt go inside the water (bc baby boy probably couldnt handle blue seminaked) and using "you wont be able to see without your eyes getting irritated" as a point

* gansey getting all flustered and reminding himself he'd been looking at orla's naked body for so long but also: HER BIKINI IS SO ORANGE

* clue number two of non heterosexual ronan niall lynch: laughing his ass off about ganseys reaction of orla and said orange bikini

* jealous little blue being furious at gansey for just looking at her

* ronan's pulse fastening when thinking about kavinsky

* ronan smiling to himself and only doing so because there was no one to see it

* noah and blue holding hands at monmouth when gansey and ronan arent there okay look at those two

* "sometimes i pretend im him" "which part?" "alive" PROTECT NOAH CZERNY

* when blue was laying on ganseys bed she though "i have a crush on richard gansey" and the following "i dont have a crush on adam parrish"

* okay but the whole kissing scene is adorably cute and the best part of tdt

* BLUE THINKING "oh, this is what i can't have"

* MATTHEW AND RONAN VISITING THE BARNS AND BOTH OF THEM JUST BEING ADORABLE WITH AURORA AND EACH OTHER

* ronan racing kavinsky and having so many mixed feelings

* adam feeling misplaced in DC and constantly thinking of this fathers abuse and I Cried

* adam and gansey fighting and uhhh sorry dick but DAMN adam

* ronan dreaming he's in kavinskys car and not knowing if he loved it or hated it

* blue's voice over the phone taking gansey's mind off the fight he had with adam

* gansey listing the things ronan is inside his mind so he would be angry at him

* "ronan had charm. it was just buried deep. very deep."

* blue fucking sargent being the badass feminist she is when it didnt occur to adam that maybe blue was into politics

* "you wouldnt have gone someplace without gansey. you two make a grand couple. kiss him!" blue giving zero fucks to adam being douchely sexist

* okay first fuck you adam idiot parrish: "nice blue, gansey was right. you are a raging feminist" FUCK YOU

* okay adam losing his temper and literally thinking of hitting blue this is a matter of EMERGENCY

* ADAM STOP BEING A DICK OH MY GOD HE ALMOST FORCED BLUE INTO KISSING HIM THIS ISNDHDJDHDHD

* like ok i get Mans had a rough past n that violence is the only thing he knows but stief what was ur POINT with this part

* adams enemy being his anger. someone protect him from himself

* when blue and gansey are talking in the pig about adam and ganseys just full of hatred towards adam's parents, "who has he ever had to love him? ever?"

* okay but richard campbell gansey the third is a complete and utter SUNSHINE: when he's overwhelmed by blue and gets out of the pig and starts pacing and then realizing it was rudeish and APOLOGIZING like a fucking KING

* lmao gansey saying "i think he should come to terms with his sexuality" at kavinsky gift to ronan.

* "he wondered if kavinsky was gay. he wondered if she should go to the fourth of july party. he wondered where adam had gone" someone just. keep ronan close and hydrated and healthy and LET HIM BE GAY AND REST

* okay but ronan thinks about kavinsky in a matter that is completely and utterly non platonic

* "the grey man gently threw ronan across the breakfast table" nice maggie

* prepare for dialogue:

"theres nothing here k."

"theres only us. i know what you are"

"thats not enough"

"dont say dick gansey man. hes never gonna be with you. and dont tell me you dont swing that way. im in your head"

"thats not what gansey is to me"

"you didnt say you didnt swing that way"

RONAN SAID, "no, i didnt" ..... gay bitch

* ronan calling adam "adam" when he thinks they're in a dream and just then realizing he isnt

* "i know it was you. the rent, i figured it out" adam parrish just slipping information at the WRONG time

* "he was a brother to a liar and a bother to an angel, son of a dream and son of a dreamer" still to this day the prettiest thing ever

* HIS SECOND SECRET WAS ADAM PARRISH

* "adam furrowed his brows to ronan, as if sensing ronan's eyes on him. ronan looked away"

* im shook this book is so good

#blue sargent #trc #the raven cycle #the dream thieves #bluensy #gansey #adam parrish #noah czerny #ronan lynch #pynch #richard gansey

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archiefm · 4 years

Text

... claws my way up from hell once more and vomits onto the dash.... hello. its nora. i used to write rory bergstrom, but if u were here before that u might remember me as greta or alma putnam or..... som1 else.... an endless carousel of trash children..... this is finn, who i actually wrote for an early version of this rp abt 5yrs back now...... grits teeth..... so forgive me if im rusty i havent written him in a long time but seein honey boy gave me a lotta finn muse n im keen to get Back On The Horse yeehaww...

DYLAN O’BRIEN / CIS-MALE — don’t look now, but is that finn o’callaghan i see? the 25 year old criminology and forensic studies student is in their graduate year of study year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be judicious, adroit, morose and cynical, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he will make a name for themselves living off-campus. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her )

shakes my tin can a humble pinterest, ma’am....

finn has a bio pasted at the bottom (n written in like.... 2015.... gross) but it’s long so if u don’t wanna read it here’s the sparknotes summary..... anyway this was written years ago n a lot of it seems really cliche and lame now but..... we accept the trash we think we deserve

grumpy, ugly sweater wearing, tech-savvy grandpa

very dry sense of humour and embraces nihilism.

if ron swanson and april ludgate had a baby it would be finn

he was raised in derry, just south of dublin.

from a big family. elder sister called sinead. he also has a younger sister (aoife), a younger brother (colm), and a collie named lassie because his father lovs cliches (finn hates cliches but loves his dog).

his father was a pub landlord and his mother worked at the market sellin fruit n veg when they met but got a job as a medical receptionist when she had kids cos it meant she cld be there with them in the day and work nights.

his parents met when they were p young and fiesty and rushed into marriage cos they were catholic n just wanted to have sex. his family were literally dirt-poor, but they had a lot of love i guess

hmmmmm his relationship w his father wasn’t the best cos i can’t write character who have healthy relationships w their parents throws up a peace sign. yh, had a pretty emotionally distant, alcoholic violent father n so gets a lot of his bad habits i.e. drinking as a coping mechanism and poor anger management from him BUT anyway

as a kid he was never very motivated in class, he always had a nervous itch to be off somewhere doing something else. struggled under government austerity bcso there just wasn’t the resources to support low income families where the kids had learning difficulties n needed support. fuck the tories am i right

his mum suggested he try sports to help w his restless energy but he was never any good at football so he took up boxing and tap dance instead. he took to tap dancing like a fish to fuckin water. as adhd n found this as a really good way to use his excess energy in a creative way

had a few run ins with the police in his early teens for spray painting and graffiti, but he straightened himself out n now actually considering becoming a detective inspector??? cops are pigs.

he had a youtube channel where he posted videos of him tapdancing and breakdancing as a kid, basically would be a tiktok boy nowadays, n had like... a small fanbase in his early teens. attended several open auditions unsuccessfully, until he was finally cast in billy eliot when he was fifteen.

during billy eliot he began dating an italian dancer called nina. they became dance partners soon after and toured across the republic with various different shows (inc riverdance lol the classic irish stereotype). their relationship was p toxic tbh, they were both very hot tempered people and just used to argue and fight all the time.

he went semi-pro at tap dancing, and nina couldn’t stand being second best so she moved back to italy with her family. ignored his texts, phone calls, etc, eventually he was driven to the point where he used his savings to buy a plane ticket, showed up at her house and she was like wtf?? freaked out and filed a restraining order accusing him of stalking.

he was fined for harassment and then returned home to derry, but after the incident with nina he quit dancing for good and finished his leaving cert before heading to university in the US to get as far away from nina and his past life as poss. and basically since he quit dancing to study forensics (death kink. finn cant get enough of that morgue. just walks around sayin beat u) he’s become a massive grump and jsut doesn’t see the good in people any more.

u’ll find finn in an old man bar drinking whiskey bc he is in fact an old man at heart or sat on his roof smoking a joint, drawing wolves and lions and skeletons and shit, playing call of duty or getting blazed or at the corner of the room in a house party ignoring everyone and scrolling through twitter. is a massive e-boy. always up-to-date on memes and internet slang. has reddit as an app on his phone

not very good at communication. rather than solve his issues by talking, he’d prefer to just solve them through fighting or running away from his problems hence why he has come halfway across the world to get away from an issue which probs cld have been solved w a few apology emails.

takes a lot to phase him, but when his beserk button gets pressed he can become a bit pugnacious like an angry lil rottweiler. in his undergrad he was in a few fist fights but doesn’t really do tht any more as he doesn’t condone violence.

in the previous version of this rp he was hospitalised like 5 times. pls, give my son a break. stop tryin to kill him. he literaly got a bottle smashed over his head and bled out all over his favourite angora rug that was the only light of his life

works at the campus coffee shop n always whines about how he’s a slave to capitalism. always smells of coffee

lives off campus with an elderly woman named Marianne, and basically gets reduced rent bcos he makes her dinner / keeps her company. they have a great bond

fan of karl marx. v big on socialism

insomniac with chronic nosebleeds

cynical about everything. too much of a fight club character 4 his own good n has his head up tyler durden’s sphincter

always confused or annoyed

statistics

basic information

full name: finnegan seamus o'callaghan nickname(s): finn age: 25 astrological sign: aries hometown: derry, ireland occupation: phd student / former street entertainer fatal flaw: cynicism positives: self-reliant, street smart, relaxed, intelligent, spontaneous, brave, independent, reliable, trustworthy, loyal. negatives: hostile, impulsive, stubborn, brooding, pugnacious, untrusting, cynical, enigmatic, reserved.

physical

colouring: medium hair colour: dark brown, almost black eye colour: brown height: 5’9” weight: 69kg build: tall, athletic voice: subtle irish accent, low, smooth. dominant hand: left scar(s): one on the left side of his ribs from a knife wound that he doesn’t remember getting cos he was drunk distinguishing marks: freckles, tattoo of a wolf howling at a moon allergies: pollen and the full spectrum of human emotion alcohol tolerance: high drunken behaviour: he becomes friendlier, far more conversational than when sober, flirtier, and generally more self-confident.

psychological

dreams/goals: self-fulfilment, travel the globe, experience life in its most alive and technicoloured version, make documentary films, help the vulnerable in society, grow as a human being.

skills: jack-of-all-trades, very fast runner, good at thieving things, talented tap dancer, good in crisis situations, dab-hand at mechanics, musically-intelligent, can throw a mean right hook and very capable of defending himself, can roll a cigarette, memorises quotes and passages of literature with ease, can light a match with his teeth.

likes: the smell of the earth after rain, poetry, cigarettes, shakespeare, whiskey, tattoos, travelling, ac/dc, deep conversations, leather jackets, open spaces, the smell of petrol, early noughties ‘emo phase’ anthems.

dislikes: the government, parties, rules, donald trump, children, apple products, weddings, people in general, small talk, dependency, loneliness, pop music, public transport, justin timberlake, uncertainty.fears: fear itself, drowning alignment: true neutral mbti: istp – “while their mechanical tendencies can make them appear simple at a glance, istps are actually quite enigmatic. friendly but very private, calm but suddenly spontaneous, extremely curious but unable to stay focused on formal studies, istp personalities can be a challenge to predict, even by their friends and loved ones. istps can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but they tend to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking their interests in bold new directions.” (via 16personalities.com)

full bio (lame as fuck written years ago..... pleathe...)

tw homophobia

born in quigley’s pub on the backstreets of sunny dublin, young finnegan o'callaghan was thrown kicking and screaming into the rowdy suburbs of irish drinking culture. the son of a landlord and a fishwife, he never had much in the way of earnings, but there was never a dull moment in his lively estate, where asbo’s thrived, but community spirit conquered. at school, finn was pegged as lazy and unmotivated, though truly his dyslexia made it hard for the boy to learn in the same environment of his peers and only made him more closed-off in class. struggling with anger management, finn moved from school to school, unable to fit the cookie-cutter mould that school enforced on him, though whilst academic studies were of little interest to the boy, he soon found his true passions lay in recreational activities. immersed into the joys of sport from as young as four, finn was an ardent munster fan and anticipated nothing more than the day he could finally fit into his brother’s old pair of rugby boots.

his calling finally came unexpectedly, not in the form of rugger, but through dance. to learn to express himself in a non-academic way, he began tap dancing, finding therapy in the beat of his soles against the cracked kitchen tiles (much to his mother’s disgrace). it wasn’t a conscious choice, finn just realised one day that dance was something that made him feel. a king of the streets, finn made his fortune on those cobbled pavements – dancing and drawing to earn his keep. by default, finn became a street artist, each penny he earned from his chalk drawings saved in a jam jar towards buying his first pair of tap shoes. though many of his less-than-amiable neighbours called him a nancy and a gaybo, finn refused to quit at his somewhat ‘unconventional’ hobby, for the young scrapper found energy, life, and released anger through the rhythm of tap. soon he branched out into street dance, hip hop, break dancing, lyrical, his days spent smacking his scuffed feet against the broken patio into the night.

when he was thirteen he took up boxing, and as expected, his newfound ‘macho’ pastime conflicted with his dancing. the boxers called him ‘soft’; the dancers called him ‘inelegant’. he felt like two different people; having to choose between interests was like being handed a knife and asked to which half of himself he wished to cut away. he couldn’t afford professional training in dance, with most schools based in england and limited scholarships available. instead, he made the street his studio, racking up a small fanbase on youtube. when he was fifteen he made his debut in billy eliot at the olympia theatre in dublin. enter nina de souza, talented, beautiful and italian; ballet dancer, operatic singer, genius whiz kid, and spoiled brat. she was selfish, conceited, hell bent on getting her own way, and every director’s nightmare. finn fell for her like a house of cards. he’d always had a soft spot for girls who meant trouble. and so their hellish courtship began.

by the time they were seventeen, the two young swans had danced in every playhouse across the republic. they were known in theatres across the country for their tempestuous personalities, their raging arguments with one another, their tendency to drop out of shows altogether without any notice, yet the money kept rolling in and the audiences continued to grow. for three years, their families continued to put up with their hysterical fights followed by passionate reconciliations. he was too possessive, and she was too wild. their carcrash of a relationship finally came to a catastrophic halt when nina broke off the whole affair and returned to italy with her family. for months finn tried to contact her, yet his phone calls, texts, facebook messages were always ignored, until finally he was driven to drastic measures and used his savings to get a plane to her home town. when finn turned up uninvited at nina’s house she freaked out – and rightly so – she contacted her agent, accused him of stalking her, and had a restraining order placed against him. finn was arrested, held in a station overnight, and charged with harassment before he was allowed to return to dublin.

after the incident with nina, finn lost the fight in his eyes. he became far more hostile, far less likely to retaliate with his own fists, and picked fights not for the thrill of feeling his own fists pummel another into a wall, but for the sensation of his own brittle bones cracking. he dropped his tap shoes in a dumpster, stopped talking to his friends, followed his father’s advice and went back to school to complete his leaving certificate. a few short months later, and finn was packing his bags, saying his bittersweet goodbyes, and travelling half-way across the globe to be as far away as possible from his past self, his mess of a life, and most of all nina. it seemed somehow ironic that the boy who had been cautioned by the garda so much during his youth for spray painting, busking without a liscence, and raucous parties would become the grumpy, aloof overseas student studying a degree in criminology; that his once reckless spirit could be crushed so easily.

of all things that finn could be called, straightforward would never be one of them. ever since his first days in atticus, the boy was pegged as hostile, hot-headed, cynical, rude. he seemed to spend more time in his thoughts than engaging in conversation. like a ticking time-bomb, finn’s anger was of the calm kind, liable to explode without a moment’s noticed. his unpredictable personality make him something of an enigma to those who aren’t amiable with the lad, though hostile as he may appear, he harvests a good heart. loyalty lies at the centre of his affections, and whilst his friends are few in number, he makes a lifelong partner. somewhere within finn, there’s still some fight left, but mostly he has recognised that his hedonistic lifestyle did little to leave him fulfilled – mostly, it just emptied him out – and over his three years at university has resigned himself to a nihilistic predicament.

if u wanna plot with me pls pls pls im me or like this post!! i am always game for plots i love em so excited to write with you all here r some ideas

study buddies. finn is now a phd student so has to start takin shit seriously. he gon be in the library every day doing that independent study. if he had ppl who were also regular library goers n they get each other coffees to save time.... tht wld be sweet

ppl who love techno dj sets and going super hard on the weekends!!! fuck yea

friends with benefits. exes on bad terms. ppl he tried to date but couldnt because he’s always emotionally hung up on someone else. spicy hook up plots

ppl he met touring?? maybe ppl who were also in the entertainment industry..... anyone got a character who is ex circus hit me up

does anyone else study criminology / forensics / criminal psych / law? phd students sometimes lecture so he cld be an assistant lecturer / tutor if ur character is in a younger year

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

finn goes to the skatepark and all the young boys there think he’s a gradnpa which he is!

#huntingtonintro #is tht the tag....... idk..... msg me xo

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tiava143 · 5 years

Text

Baby Boy

Chapter II (Highkey long)

Chapter 1

“So what you tryna do while mommy’s at work pop?” Erik said looking over at his son.

“Can we go to the park and hoop with CJ and cousin Cameron please?” Sage said. He enjoyed being around his cousin CJ since he was close to his age. CJ was Cameron’s oldest son, they had their kids around the same time so they are always around each other.

“Lemme see where they at.” Erik said dialing Cam’s number.

Erik shook his head chuckling, thinking about his crazy ass cousin Cameron.They were known as the Demon Twins when were together.(Let Solana and Terry tell it) Cameron is the loud outgoing smooth talker, while Erik was seen but not heard as much. But don’t think for one second they would let something happen to one another. People know not to test Erik but anyone that tries Cameron better move out of the country. They went to juvie together, hit their licks together. Shit they even had their kids together. They were thick as thieves, since they were youngins if you seen one you seen the other. Even though they were cousins ,they were brothers to outsiders.

“If you aint talkin’ money, ion wanna talk its Big Cam the p, what it be?” Cameron yelled in the phone.

“Get yo’ dusty ass up nigga. Ima come scoop you and jr we finna’ hit the park.” Erik laughed as he turned onto his block.

“Fuck you nigga that aint what ya’ baby mama said when i was in ha’ chest last night.” Cameron laughed. “Nigga dont shot, playin’ with my best friend name.” Erik heard his girlfriend Terry say over the phone. “Im just playin’ ma. But ight fool, gimme 10.”

“Hurry yo lanky ass up, we burnin’ daylight.” Erik said hanging up and pulling in front of his cousin’s house. Sage got out the car and ran to the door and CJ answered the door to let them in.

“What’s the deal lil cuzzo?” Erik said walking into the house dapping him then sat on the couch. Sage and CJ ran into his room to play video games. Terry came out the room and hugged Erik.

“Hey E. Why you up so early ?” She said walking into the kitchen to start cooking breakfast.

“Wassup squirt, I had to drop yo’ crazy ass best friend off at work. You know she stay on my ass about everything.” He said chuckling.

“Well if you just did what the fuck we ask then we wouldn’t be sweatin’ you all the time. Y'all just don’t fuckin’ listen. Just like ya hard headed cousin.” Terry said rolling her eyes and mixing the pancake batter.

“TJ I do listen to her, everytime some shit happens at her job I’m the listening to her rant all fuckin’ night about it.” He said shrugging his shoulders.

“I’m not talking about just that one time E. I mean listen like understand the shit we say and take it into consideration, not just listen as the words go through one ear and out the fucking other. We wanna feel like were valued. Not just a damn object yall fuck on. You wanna degrade and manipulate bitches you better go get Becky with the good hair, because us black queens aint finna deal with it.Periodt.” She ranted while pouring the batter on the skillet.

“Aw shit you done got her ass started.Every time you come over here she starts” Cameron said walking into the living room holding his 9 month on daughter Chanel. He daps Erik and hands Chanel to him then walks in the kitchen. Erik rocks her to sleep then lays her in her crib.

“Don’t even try and front with E. You know damn well i’ll fuck you up myself. Try that shit if you want to.” Terry Said mean-mugging him. Cameron wrapped his arms around her waist and placed soft kisses on her cheek.

“And you know Big Daddy don’t play that shit so I dare you to try me.” He said lowly into her ear then sucks on her earlobe. Erik groans watching then stands up.

“Man c'mon you bullshittin’ she gon’ be here when you come back. Gremlins let’s go or you gon’ get left.” He said walking out the door. The boys ran out the door and hopped in the car.

“I’ll save y'all some food for when y'all get back I know you gon be all grumpy when E whoops ya ass at the court.” Terry said walking Cam out the door laughing. Erik started laughing then hugged Terry.

“That’s a damn shame even yo’ girl know ima whoop yo ass Cam.” He said walking to the car and gets in. Cameron mugged her as he walked towards the car shaking his head.“You disloyal heffa. You suppose to be my number one supporter.” Cam said getting in the car and rolling the window up. Terry laughed as she went back in the house. Erik proceeded to drive off.

“Nigga how you let ya girl punk you like that?” Erik said looking at the songs on his phone to play.

“Fuck you, she only do it around you and Lana. Yall be gettin’ her started on them fuckin’ "I’m independent, fuck all these niggas,i don’t need a nigga for shit” rants. Like fuck…she’ll never be quiet.“ Cam said scrolling on insta. Erik chuckled looking over at him."Remind you of somebody? You like a tape recorder. You just keep going on and on and on. It’s a reason why you still with her. Am i wrong ?” He said pulling into the parking lot of the park.

“Im telling mommy you’re talking about her again. Daddy remember what she said the last time.” CJ said from the backseat looking at his dad.

Erik looked back at him and started laughing. “What she say CJ?”

“She said ‘Keep that saamee energy.’ ” He said rolling his neck how Terry does it. Erik was rolling when he got out the car and ran. Cameron stayed quiet the whole time as the whole conversation went on. He knew if he said something else his son would snitch on him. He glared at Erik as he walked towards the courts with the boys.

“You done nigga?” Cam said annoyed.

Erik whipped a tear from his eye and took a breath. “Yeah I’m done. I aint know she was doin’ my boy like thaaat.” Cameron shook his head and started bouncing the basketball.

“Look CJ if i can teach you one good thing in this world it’s when you’re around the fellas you keep what’s said to yourself. Don’t go reporting shit to ya mama and what not. That’s guy code man. Trust me.” Cameron said shooting the ball into the hoop.

“Yeah….no matter how scared ya daddy is of a girl that’s 5'2.” Erik said laughing and grabbing the ball and bouncing it to Sage. Cameron shook his head.

Solana’s Pov

I’m so sick of this job. Well not necessarily, it is my dream job to be a fashion designer. Some of my female co-workers here are so jealous, like don’t get mad at me for doing what Jordan wants. He asks and I deliver.Here we are in another meeting so he can tell us what’s to come with the next client.

“Alright everyone great job pulling through with last week’s client Jynesse. A special thanks to Solana, she delivered the most outstanding design for Jyneese and as a plus the outfit was on the cover of Essence magazine. Keep up the great work.” Jordan said clapping as well as everyone else except Amber. This bitch is a fucking hater i swear. Amber’s been working for Jordan for about 5 years and she was his top designer. Well until i showed up, not to toot my own horn but beep beep. I’ve been here for the past 2 years now and clients have grabbed my designs back to back and now she’s mad. Amber has tried so hard to sabotage my designs but it turns around and bites her in the ass every time. One time i had to convince Jordan not to fire her stank ass but she doesn’t know it. She tries so hard to be in my position it’s exhausting. Like bitch get a life. And she better not think for one second that i didn’t catch her dusty ass making googly eyes with Erik’s dumb ass. If she keeps disrespecting me i might have to show her why i got this AK-47 tatted on my leg.

“Now for this week’s project our client Mrs. Keyshia Ka’oir wants a piece for her birthday party coming up in a few weeks. It seems that her and her Husband want to be matching somehow. She wants a dress that’s extra as possible in her words.Oh, and she wants it to be red all over.Rough sketches are due tomorrow and all projects are due next Friday so get to it everyone, she will be here to hand pick which style she wants so it better be extravagant.Good luck.” Jordan said

“Greaaatt, more stress.” I said mumbling as i stand up and started walking towards my office. As i was walking through the door i see her looking at me up and down from her door. Yes our offices are across from each other. A great fucking coincidence right? I turned around and faced her leaning against my door frame.

“Do you have problem? You’ve been looking at me all day with a stank face so what is your issue?” I said glaring back at her as i looked at her up and down.

Amber starts to smirk shake her head at me. “Nope. All i know is you better be prepared to lose your spot on top because once Keyshia looks at my design its game over for you baby girl. So, have fun while you can.”

“Girl bye, nobody is worried about your tired ass, old ass, styles. Amber you’ve put out the same style the past five assignments we’ve had its old sis. You want to impress somebody, impress yourself by trying new fabric or you know better yet try a career because this apparently isn’t it for you.” I said rolling my eyes and closing my door. I can’t believe that bitch really tired me. Just wait till I get my sketch ready, I born to do this.

~At the park~

Erik and Cameron were playing one on one while Sage and CJ were playing on the other side of the court. The kids got tired of just playing basketball so they wanted to do their own thing. Erik was whooping Cameron’s ass just like Terry said too.

“Where the fuck was you at last night? I called your ass to hit the strip club bruh. All the birds was there.” Cam said wiping the sweat off his forehead with his shirt.

“Man I was handlin’ business last night.” Erik said shooting the ball from the free throw line.

“What bitch was it this time?” Cameron said shaking his head and leaning on his knees. Erik chuckled bouncing the ball in between his legs.

“How you know I was with a bitch?”

“One you chuckling like you holding something, Two you never handle business without me being there or drop your location. So which one was it? Britney? La’toya? or Malina?” He said stealing the ball from Erik and going for a layup.

“I been stopped fucking with La’toya crazy ass. Remember i told you i caught that bitch puttin’ my sperm in a syringe?”

Cameron started laughing. “Hell yeah I remember that shit, that bitch was in love witchu! ’Erik gon’ be my baby’s father!’ It took me and the homies to pry that bitch off your ass.”

“Man, after that shit I was like nah i’m good shorty. But Malina.” Erik said biting his lip thinking about this morning.

“I had to put that bitch out on the curb though. She wouldn’t get out my bed and I had to take Lana to work.I wasn’t about to let this bitch sleep in my room while i was gone. Then fuck around and come back all my drawers cleaned out.” He said getting in his guard stance in front of Cameron.

“Wait, wait,wait y'all fucked this morning? Like right before you took Lana to work.You had to let the bitch spend the night too? Cuz that’s fucked up.You a dog bruh.” Cameron said laughing and pulling up to make a shot. Erik blocked the shot and switches spots.

“Man I was too drunk to take her back to her crib, I had the Henny in my system when i hit her. I told her to meet me at the spot right? She hop out the uber with this short ass dress on Cam like if the bitch bent over you could see the pussy lips wink at you bruh. I was like damn so we kickin’ it ,choppin’ it up then next thing I know she riding me on the hood of the car in the parking lot of McDonald’s. This was at like 3 in the morning too, we was up the street from my crib so i said fuck it slide through. Woke up and got in the guts again then Lana called.Kicked that bitch to the curb literally.” He said laughing as he shot a three. Erik looked back on the other side of the court to make sure Sage was okay.

Cam stood there with his mouth wide open. “Damn that bitch a freak. In the parking lot?!? Of McDonald’s?!?! Shitttt you should’ve called a nigga. We could’ve tag teamed that hoe.”

“Nigga please, Terry crazy ass aint finna’ air the clip out on me because you wanted to fuck another bitch. TJ got eyes everywhere on you. Every bitch in Inglewood know you her nigga.They aint finna’ try her or Lana.” Erik said shaking his head and taking his shirt off.

“I swear her crazy ass got a tracking device on my dick. I go into the bathroom she all like ‘Where you takin’ my dick?’ I say I’m going’ to the store she say ‘That bitch bet not be at the store.’ Next thing i know i get to the store she there waitin’ for a nigga. ‘I was just makin sure you came to the same store you always do.’” Like damn I can’t go nowhere without her being there.” Cameron said shaking his head. Erik looked behind Cameron and seen Terry’s car parked in the lot with her looking out the window at them.

“Speak of the devil, she shall appear.” He said nodding his head in the direction. Cameron raised his eyebrow with confused look on his face.

“Cuz what you talkin’ bout?” He said turning around. “Gotdamn it ! See the shit I mean she crazy.I been gave yo crazy ass my location Terry!”Cameron said walking towards her car. Erik laughed shaking his head at them.

Leave feedback pleaseeee let me know if you like it

Tags: @cancerianprincess@panthergoddessbast @budeena@jordynboseman@aphrorose@tylerhowardshawt@inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove@reciluvs@rayraynddem @lunaerly@wakandamama @mizzezm@janellemonaenae@youreadthatright t @theunsweetenedtruth@madhatterhelsing @rokushi-san@pupyluv24 @flannel-gey @untouched-rose @destinio1@tiredofthisgeneration@heyauntieeee @wakandas-vibranium@carliartz@myboyfriendgiriboy@amyhennessyhouse @amethyst1993@lady-love-and-glitter-roses@youngblackndgifted @sweettea-and-honeybutter @soulsparker@chaneajoyyy@macfizzle@almostpurelysmut@princesskillmonger@bartierbakarimobisson@wikiwakanda @hunniiemoon @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @thiccdaddy-mbaku

#Erik Stevens #Erik Killmonger #erik killmonger fanfics #erik killmonger imagines #Tiavareads #erik x black reader

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soldier-poet-king · 5 years

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I'm glad to see you like The Raven Cycle! Who is your favorite character and why? I'd love to hear your thoughts on them and what makes you like them.

okay confession time i’ve ONLY read the first two books, and i only read them for the first time last summer, i havent finished the series yet bc it was just So Much and So Personal and i cried A Lot and Im WEAK

adam is hands down my fave though, like absolutely without a doubt, i know a lot of people have mixed feelings about him bc he can be stubborn, and prideful, and so so angry, but that’s exactly why i like him, and people who dont understand his behaviour have never been in a situation like his. i see so much of myself in him, so much of angry, hurting, 17-year old francesca, so desperate to be free, independent, to leave ‘a place made for leaving’, the anger and pleading insecurity of an abused kid, the desperate need to be free, but the stubborness and pride that comes with poverty, where you have to do it on your own, and without like going into a whole lot of details (i’ll spare yall my rambles) adam as a character, everything about him, is just so extremely personal and extremely important to me, i only wish i had read the books when i was in highschool, it could’ve been transformative for me then (it still is now, down the road, when im ‘recovering’, but oh man, teen me wouldve wept to see him, the fact that he’s broken but still living, and that people love him)

ronan is another fave of mine, even though i didnt expect to love him as much as i do, the dream thieves really changed the way i saw him, and his terrible self destruction, his struggle to accept himself as he is (broken, guilty, angry, gay, catholic), i mean, @ me right? (the whole thing with kavinsky??? i drank and cried for three days straight over the summer) and his being a sibling is just!!! a lot to me!!! he cares about his brothers even though he struggles

and NOAH my sweet ghost boy i cant even THINK about noah without crying, without thinking of ‘remembered’, when he said ‘i was more. before. when i was alive’ to blue in the first book? i cried so hard i almost threw up bc i understood that, and i think a lot of people in similar situations to me view our lives as a ‘before’ and an ‘after’ The Bad Thing, and we’re always in the futile struggle to recapture that before

so uhhh yeah

i love them ALL a whole lot, even gansey and blue, even though my love for them is less of a intense painful personal love, and more of a what a bunch of cute nerds

i could take or leave the plot of the books tbh, it’s teen fiction and tropey and sweet and i love it, but it’s the characters that have held me this long, that have held my love for the series, even if i havent been strong enough to finish the books yet

the friendships though, that closeness, trust, intimacy…it’s so incredibly beautiful and i dont think i’ll ever be able to achieve something like it

thank you anon, this was lovely, i know im incoherent and rambly and overly personal about everything (when am i not???) but this was such a nice ask

#abuse mention #implied suicide #kind of??#the ronan stuff is touch and go #anon #this was SO GOOD FOR ME #thank you

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kitsoa · 6 years

Text

Chikai Detailed Review

I was expecting the full version of Chikai to drop sometime today or tomorrow considering her album’s on its way. Finally....finally, this haunting song is here and it’s making me weep. I’m gonna dig into observations with time stamps from the linked video. I am under the impression that the English version is gonna be vastly different, but I hope not, this is.... ethereal, it feels like destiny.

If you have listened to this song enough that you’d be willing to follow me on this listening journey, then there is more under the cut:

0:00- Right at the beginning starts the divisive syncopated piano rhythm. I understand why people might be jarred by it because its not terribly common in modern pop but it is just so incredibly unique and compelling for a number of reasons.

It’s in three. Like that’s just a giggle inducing move. Threes are so important to the series as the various trios are the lifeblood of the themes. And of course, its the long awaited third game and third Utada song. Very cute.

The syncopation is a very obvious heart beat. ‘baa--- ba-dum baa-- ba-dum’ The song is a goddamn heart. (I’m SCREAMING) and the fact that its in the piano is interesting and potentially symbolic. I mean, the piano is being turned into a primary rhythm instrument is weird to us Yoko Shimomura lovers because she layers her work with flourishing piano melodies. But ultimately that instrument is the lifeblood of the music of KH and Utada could be making a nod to that by making it serve itself as the heartbeat of her song.

0:13- To go along with this ‘Utada is clearly text painting Kingdom Hearts into the fabric of her song’ thing, the violin line here has a distinctly Royal feel to it. Like (Oh god, proper nouns are escaping me but im thinking of something specific) in those baroque marches where the continuo is keeping this steady, rhythmic pulse underneath a violin’s elongated phrase as someone of importance (a king?) makes way through a scene. The fact that it’s orchestrated at all makes this feel like a melancholy/nostalgic coronation.

0:30- I will abstain from judging the english version but this is like... one of my favorite aspects of the main verse line. The Japanese corresponding text to our ‘thieves’ here slides into a resolution from its suspension in a ridiculously awesome way. It’s almost weepy. I’m gonna say the word a lot but thats probably cause I’m crying. It’s also very chill and jazzy. Ultimately the resolution (which is the main theme of KH3--Utadaaaaaa) here feels heavy and incomplete. Bitter sweet?

0:40- I like this vocal line. It’s very Utada because it’s actually super hard to pull off. Switch registers like that and keeping the line intense... dayum. I like that it repeats cause that like the musical equivalent to the moral of ‘keep on trying till you get it right’. It’s distinctly ‘determined’

0:47-- That drum pattern kicks in and its very clear this song is just gonna gradually build. It’s working toward something. It’s also super groovy.

1:07- Chorus kicks in. This melodic line is just the pure definition of the word ‘yearning’. It begins with a chromatic climb to top of the melody’s standard range and hangs there for a second as though it wants to go higher but can’t and then it repeats. (try and try again?)

1:30- Dude this is it. The part our virgin ears have yet to consume.

2nd verse! I love the syllabification here. It makes me wonder what the English is gonna try to convey.

1:43-- Funny enough it is in this verse the underlying ‘ah’ accent from the English version is placed. I like it here because you can sense that this standard ballad is gradually growing into something more ethereal (like KH2′s Passion).

1:46-- oh OH BOY. Lots of things are happening. First of all, that syllabic rhythm is electric (it also foreshadows the next part). It’s mesmerizing and varies from the established verse in a way that tumbles us into the next onslaught of concepts.

Namely. The violin’s tremor-like half step noodling that builds and builds (1:49) up to a striking imagining of the 0:40 line. The vocals turn into a tightly packed, chord that is entirely inhuman sounding-- but it’s also a staple of Utada’s that I’ve heard in some of her other works. Needless to say this was the part where I actually gasped while listening. It sounded like Passion for a split second.

1:59-- The change in chords right at this moment gave me chills cause I didn’t expected it and it opened up the floodgates of surprise, tumbling into 2:00′s fast triplet ornamentation like a vortex. This created a magnetic little spiral to me, like I was being sucked down a rabbit hole. I can only imagine what imagery could be sparked from this micro-passage alone.

2:04-- right here we get the main chorus with a mighty fine and ethereal ‘ah’ broken chord in the build up. This makes the chorus insanely beautiful and interesting and mesmerizing. I love following that counter melody gahh.

2:27-- The vocal line builds nicely with a very new theme, the words are starting to have a very pronounced rhythm that 1:46 was alluding to. The words alone are pulling the music into this entirely new idea with a dramatic decay in the orchestration.

2:38-- This part is crazy. It’s using that triplet figure and drives the vocal line with it. Meanwhile the underlying symphony is echoing that heartbeat like opening line. The vocals are frantic and pleading and grow more layered and ethereal yet again. It sounds inhuman-- or angelic. Ultimately it feels completely unfathomable. I am utterly captivated by this moment.

3:00-- Chorus comes back! And now its the part from the extended preview that I heard before. The beat underneath this packs a punch like no other as the backing vocals and strings just flourish in the chorus.

3:22-- The famous ‘kiss me once’ moment. The vocal lines alone act like crashing waves with the set driving in the back ground. The the melody just cries out.

3:45-- then it repeats with that triplet figure driving underneath and you become distinctly overwhelmed with emotion.

4:08 Until this close out happens and it feels like a different song. The melodic line moves a lot and I get a sort of resigned impression. But it surprises in the last minute by building towards...

Nothing. It ends in a major key in the middle of a resolving phrase, an empty rhythm clap filling the following beat like Utada is speechless. It leaves you speechless as it returns to the opening heart beat. You could argue that the ending is incomplete... and that the return to the opening figure indicates that the song could just... start all over again on loop, never ending. I get the strange feeling that I’ll only be able to interpret the meaning of that very unresolved resolution when I finish the game.

Overall:

This song is a religious experience for me. Utada truly delivered and you can tell that she is weaving every message into the fabric of this work. I haven’t looked through lyric translations, and to be honest I don’t think I will because its the melody alone that I feel tells the greater story.

I have a lot of questions after listening to this. A lot of it pertains to the English version, knowing that there will definitely be big changes to the text heavy sections. There’s worry in that, but I’m excited about it all the same. I also wonder about the opening cinematic. Listening to this here tells me that we are not getting a remixed version (imo). And I am pleased with this potential fate. This song builds perfectly, we don’t need a hype song, we need Chikai.

I am curious if they are going to cut the song. It’s long. For an opening especially. This is a worry because good lord it builds perfect we can’t cut a thing-- plus all the more reasons to have a longer cinematic I live for those. Finally I have to wonder the direction of those visuals. I’m not sure many of the dream imagery from openings past will work but I could very well be proved wrong.

I’m cry guys. Favorite KH song hands down.

#kingdom hearts #kh3 #chikai review #im a music major but i can remember none of the specific lingo #shame of me #now i can just sit back and listen to this song

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