#i miss it but im too tired and i dont have the time for it anymore and. cries screams explodwa | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

miwtual · 1 year

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im so fucking tired of the disrespect gifmakers get on the gifmaker website

#kai.txt #negativity tw #(sorry these are gonna be a lot of tags. i have a lot of feelings and i dont know where else to put them)#we make gifs and nobody reblogs them #when they do get reblogged all people want to tell you is that your gifs arent good enough to them and rip it to shreds #'you're missing x' 'why didnt you do y' 'if i made this i would have abc' 'hey op ur wrong and this is why' 'i dont like this op'#reposters dont even reblog your fucking gifset but they'll save your gifs to repost later asking for how to do something #that they could have asked you how to do in the fucking first place #we reblog ourselves constantly because nobody else will and maybe to make our work look like it has more notes than it does #to make ourselves feel better about the lack of interaction we're getting #and then when we TALK about this frustration we have. people who are too afraid to say it to our faces #go on anon in our askboxes and tell us how we're somehow selfish for wanting people to interact with the sets #that we spent time on. hours. days. WEEKS in some cases #or we get anons who tell us the reason we dont have notes are because we arent good at gifmaking in the first place #but this is all on anon. because they're too scared to tell it to our faces #they're too scared for us to see that they ARENT a gifmaker and that they dont know how to do it any better either #they dont see us as people doing something we love as a hobby. they see us as content machines that dance like court jesters #im just so fucking tired of the disrespect #and this sentiment goes for more than just gifmakers. graphicmakers. artists. literally any creative hobby shared on this site #we get treated like shit and for what? literally for fucking what.

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m-art-i · 4 months

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Hello I'm still alive (maybe). dumping a bunch of doodles and stuff from the past months bc Huh shout out to helluva boss for being the only thing keeping me afloat during these hard times 🤪🤟

#helluva boss #helluva boss fanart #blitzø #stolas #stolitz #fizzarolli #me draws #i have so many doodles and not even one is finished but im too tired all the time and i was to put some of them out there #theyre mostly silly stuff anyway so its fine if theyre not poloshed #yay #k bye i hope i dont disappear for a thousand years again i kinda miss posting

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komashkathesilly · 10 months

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no one asked for it but i brought some very crunched mizunene

#hi. is there anyone to hear me #thyed be so cute n silly n explore gender in so many ways n also hack n pirate tons of stuff #w rui. she will join them too i just had very limited time #sorry for my nene favoritism it looks like it would be one sided but theyd equally admire each other in so many ways do u guys hear me #n theyd share their interests... n learn many new artistic ways of expression through it..... peace and love...#blacks out falls face down dead on the floor. i swing between breakdowns bc i dont have enough time to finish all assignments #n doing this in one of the few evenings when im not dead tired instead of some homework. ok #nene kusanagi #mizuki akiyama #honami mochizuki #minori hanasato #mizunene #project sekai #project sekai fanart #pjsk fa #komashkart #i missed them sm #also also like robonene. it links them sm. the costume. the fact that she way faster hacks n finds info #mzk n nene both bullying their haters online. can u imagine the power theyd have combined. GAHHHHH

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figofswords · 5 months

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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch #too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun #no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point #trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this #WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time #my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me #my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job #i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time #i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again #and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed #delete later #i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want #ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you #i miss that i want that back #whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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matrophobia

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #masumi arakawa #masato arakawa #snap sketches #oh my god im going to pass out but my tag ramble is necessary. like especially this time #i was just gonna draw his Actual mom but then i wanted to get saucy with it. also i miss drawing wolves but theres a purpose i promise #ive loved wolves since i was a kid since theyre like. family-oriented and shit. of course a lonely loser ass kid gonna think thats cool #when i think of wolves i think of family- which is what you should think of with your mom right #but a lot of people know wolves are monsters so. ysee where im goin with this one #the flowers and thorns arent Just Random i Double Promise: i snagged inspo from her flower shirt #i originally had the roses be purple to highlight that buuut i didnt want any more color aside from red #did i have anymore notes..... i dont think so. thats all i had to explain :) this is mid ik i just needed it done tho im TIRED #OH HER MULTIPLE EYES its supposed to be inspired by her necklace :) the third eye has a purpose im too tired to explain rn tho #the jo alternative was more depressing since i wanted to put emphasis on his feelings of inadequacy in that #BUT i figured hey. let me have a /lil/ happiness today right. i can do that at least let me draw that at least #ignore the fact i got more bad news while drawing this and almost abandoned it as a result but we push through :)#in any case. im subjecting arakawa to more horrors tomorrow i guess sorry king youve had it good too long. i GUESS #to round this off. Obligatory Vent Portion because myyyyy GOD. i have nightmares about my mom every night #its been that way since like. february- ive always had nightmares bout her but theyve ramped up since The Event #and for the most part i just wake up tired and despondent but sometimes the nightmares just make me wake up gasping for air #like i was TRULY just fighting for my life then and itd been a while since i had a nightmare like that #and just. coupled with how trash my months been. and now that im comm free.(dm me;) ) i figured id express the soul a bit #alright NOW im done. im pretty sure. goodnight everyone come back for part ii of. whatever this was #IM ALL OUT OF TAGS NOW LMAO THATS EPIC ok bye fr

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bunnihearted · 2 months

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🧸♡ ⋆｡˚

#it actually does make such a huge difference omg im like ... feels like i got thrown into the floor lost my breath #having someone i like so much to talk to abt things #and share stuff and details abt not only my days but their days too #and talking abt like books that we read or shows/movies we saw and etc etc #sending pics. sending voice messages. all of that #that was so amazing wth???#it sounds like such a mundane thing but it changed my enire baseline. it wasnt a littel thing to me #i didnt share as much as i wanted to because it takes me longer to settle into smth like this #or any kind of connection/correspondence/bond/rapport #im slow bc im so scared of ppl. scared of trusting. scared of opening up. rejection rejection all of that #yeah.. takes me a lot longer than the average person to settle into smth like this #avpd is its own special hell...#i miss it a lot and i wish there hadnt been all the other circumstances so i could've actually relaxed into it #and come out of my shell completely. which i was almost there. now that mental block is gone but it's too late....#i take too long... it is impossible to be patient with me. i really hate everything abt my brain #my desire overtook my fear and it was quicker than it ever has but not enough.. :(#i miss it sm and it made me feel so so much lust for life..#but it's gone now and i can really feel the loss of it #i wouldve done anything i could to save it. or nurture it. or whatever. but it was a sacred treasure to /me/.#it doesnt matter if i try to put out the flames in a burning house if the house is gone and there are actually only the flames left #and since to me it is so special. and like. the fact that this even happened is crazy to me stuff like this feelings and connection never #happen to me. it's like.. special to talk to someone u like & have an established rapport with on a regular basis #and tell them stuff and rant abt like a book or whatever. ask them details abt their life bc u know them and enjoy knowing them #i cant just transfer all of this to someone else. i dont feel like yapping abt the book im reading into the void or someone i barely know #i just dont know... i need that sm and it was so amazing w someone i like sm. & it makes me sad i takes me too long to get fully comfortable #bc of this time were it was the most intense and long lasting for me but also im in love lmao. but other times too...#i take too long and why would someone wanna wait like actually a year (which is how long it often takes me to pass a certain barrier)#im not special. im nothing that great. it is easy to find someone else who is x1000 better than me and wont take an eternity to warm up #i just feel so sad bc i try so hard and then all of my effort just goes down the drain and then i have to do it again if i meet someone #then they'll leave me behind too and get tired of me and not like what they see and then im back at square 1 again

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sucktacular · 2 months

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I miss the days where existing online was a fun thing for ppl with social anxiety to make friends on instead of like Life 2.0 ya know

#sucktacular sucks #this is literally about nothing im just like #so tired. im tired all the time. being online was my lil fun escape place #but now itslike #DID YOU KNOW HORRIBLE THING HAPPENED AND IF YOU ARENT PAYING ATTENTION #YOURE AWFUL AND ALSO THIS OTHER STUFF DONT DO IT BUT YOU #HAVE TO DO THIS THING OR ILL SEND YOU DEATH THREATS #or YOU DID XYZ OR LIKE XYZ THAY MEANS YOURE EVIL AND AWFUL #and its like #i know this stuff existed still back then but also #i just miss making movie maker slide shows #and having funny fake cyber sex in gaia online towns with my friends that i dont #know anything about and will never meet #like i could probably still exist in that closed off little world if i tried harder #but like maaaaann its just rough #i log in and get bombarded with information #i have no money i dont go outside and i want to be left alone except for my friends #i dont want to be anyone and i dont want to do anything #and Yet #my anxiety is on high alert every hour of everyday #anyone else wanna just exist and enjoy stuff or be a hater but it not be A Big Thing #again literally about nothing just like #i have an anxiety disorder and i know existing is already hard #but man online gonna make it hard now too huh #ewie #anyway i do miss my death note mutuals but i cant even socialize with my besties these days #cuz im too anxious and one little trip up and im gonna explode and die frankly #working on it #HOW THE HELL DID WE WIND UP LIKE THIS #AND WHY WERENT WE ABLE... TO SEE THE SIGNS THAT WE MISSED. AND TRY AND TURN THE TABLES

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deus-ex-mona · 2 months

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such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨

#(please forgive this old folk’s rambling for a hot min bc i need to get this off my chest somehow and in some way)#tl;dr: come and get into the hw idol series!!! we have ship discourse; more ship discourse; even more ship discourse #(yes ik people should be free to ship what they do b u t claiming a noncanon ship as canon and forcing it on everyone else is. not cool.)#yes yes friday’s mv was visually cute and ino.rin’s singing was peak b u t i feel like it has caused more harm than good in some way???#i cant b e l i e v e the jp hwtwt beef over friday’s mv is still going on mannnnnnnnn #no less than 3 separate people have made posts along the lines of #‘p l s stop using [official tags] to post about *[unnamed] non-official ships* p l s there’s a time and place for everything’#and n o n e of them even remotely run in the same circles yet they’re all banded together against a *certain* group lmfao never change hwtwt #lhy (esp yhy) shippers are always at the scene of the crime mannnnnnn #i cant see anything on their end of the naval battle (has every single lhy tag+account that i could think of blocked)#b u t it’s still really funny to witness on my twtdash against my will. i think i need to touch grass #‘kyhn isn’t canon either so why do you like it while being such a hater towards lhy—‘#great question!!!!!! it’s bc (disregarding the movie) they actually interact really well together~~~ like the honeypre event y k—#and also bc yukki treats hina really nicely all the time (even when she was being tsun and literally running from her feelings for him)#a n d hina loved him for who he truly was; even before his image change arc. and she also does her best to appeal to him and such~~~~~~~#but lhy. uh. they just bully hiyo 95% of the time and while they do look out for her bc they’re pals #they’re just pals. guys. and lxl have gone ‘uwu it must be u uwu’ to each other one too many times so shoehorning hiyo between them would.#be pretty weird ngl? esp since the ‘widely accepted’ portrayal of lhy as a trio is p much just hiyo x 2 dudes who dont even like each other #and. like. a branch of such portrayals usually seem to have aizo waft away from the ‘r/s triad’ to date mona instead which is. very weird.#some people just pick and choose aizo and mona interactions dont they. all they see is the umbrella scene and go ‘ah yes. canon’#they dont even read further to see how mona doesn’t even use the umbrella after aizo leaves (clear rejection)#a n d how aizo doesn’t even remember giving the umbrella to mona + mona’s entire existence in general after that #and that’s not even counting the grudge mona refuses to let go of even after what looks to be literal months #so for certain shippers to just casually shoo aizo out of the hiyoharem and into mona’s unwilling arms for the sake of yhy is. weird.#and like. shouldn’t he and yujiro have a say in this?? they’re more interested in each other than hiyo so just how are they being commonly #portrayed as hiyosimps in fanon? im so confused… like. wouldn’t they be equally obsessed with each other (as w/ hiyo) if they were a rstrio?#aaaaaa get this off my twtdash plsssssssss pls see this post twtapp pls let this affect your dumb algorithm im tired of the ship discourseee #as funny as the ‘lhy vs the world’ naval warfare is it’s getting. um. very annoying!!!! and now im missing nagisa more than ever s o b s #plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls influence the algorithm ragepost; ik big brother is 👀watching👀 so do your thing—#(pls feel free to duke it out with me too if y’all read this i need my birdsite algorithm to le a r n that i dont wanna see stuff like this)

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kuruk · 2 months

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stayed up late to play splatoon with my little sister who's on a horrible sleeping schedule rn and when I went to lay down in bed my joint pain and finger mobility suddenly felt so weird I couldn't control my hand (real) and I had a panic attack instantly thinking I wss having a stroke (not real) 😑 90% of the panic attacks I've had this year happened like as soon as I laid down to go to sleep. don't even know how to prevent it other then literally don't stop sleeping and napping in case you accidentally go over 12 hours of being awake and start to decline mentally. lying on back is the worst for anxiety even on a good day I can't stay like that without getting anxious for no reason and lying on my stomach is my preferred position but I can feel my heartbeat too much like that T_T and side isn't good either because I always have to switch and then I get scared.. not to mention how one side is going to feel uneven and make me think it's finally happening...

#the worst is that i know something is genuinely wrong and it makes everything im worried about more likely #when i worked as a dishwasher/general cleaning whatever i would walk for like 8 hours per shift 3 times a week #but every night i would come home feverish and it would last until days later when i was supposed to be in class #snd it didnt end for months even when i got used to it i kept getting so cold and feverish and constantly in pain and asleep i missed class #and a specific type of pain always comes with the fevers whuch is low back pain which when i first got it i was 18 #and it made me collapse suddenly while walking down the stairs out of nowhere #thats when my hands started getting tremors and started having issues moving fingers right they lock and dont listen #and now im realizing the shape of my hands is so different now my fingers are so crooked and one finger has an obvious nodule on the joint #i thought it would get better because i thought antipsychotics caused my hand issues #but it just keeps getting worse and if it's like this now what will ot be like when im older #i know im b12 deficient i was hoping i couls solve that and not be in pain and tired but i think that's just a resultand not the cause #im in pain now too my body just hurts it was gone for a while but lately it's one of the worst and i didnt even do anything this time

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prontaentrega · 5 months

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help girl i'm losing all hope🤣🤣🤣

#i have a job i hate and im too tired to care about my career i actually love and i have no free time i cant develop anything personal i dont #remember the last time i made art. i got sick for an entire week and that was the happiest and most free ive felt in months #i completely missed my last t shot which is something i always look up to and i havent even tried to schedule my next endo appointment #chizitxt

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seariii · 8 months

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Hum...

#im just thinking... im okay tho /gen #just thinking about the words the bestie said to me after I told him about my mental health...#particularly a phrase... he just said 'you are already committed' and when i asked what he meant he said 'to life'#its just... idk... it was impressive and had such a weird feeling... sadly i guess i am committed........ 'sadly' huh....#sigh another important thing was that it was crucial i went back to therapy... i dont really want to tho...#but 'youve been feeling like this for a long time you need help' ... sigh... what i need is...#the future is so scary... sigh... okay #ill put an alarm to wake up earlier tomorrow and work on that!#seari talks #what i need is adderall- jsjsjsjsjs yeah... alr im sleepy time to mimir #tomorrow ill catch up with everything i missed too #also if anyone reads this dont worry pretty person! i got a bit scared/upset up there but its okay #im quite stable right now! at least enough to survive for a couple days! so yup!#miiiight have to look up a new therapist tho... since aside from help i wanna get a diagnosis....#sigh... but okay that's not for rn seari it's for future seari. rn seari has to go mimir because shes tired #a mimir a mimir pat pat pat

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