#i need to be taken out owen style

[itsjusteds]

2 months ago today I watched a revolutionary musical that completely changed how my brain functioned. I watched a marvelous piece of media that forever changed how I thought about things. That piece of media you ask? Well young Padawan I am talking about Spies Are Forever.

Hello I'm the artist who's saf brain rot is so strong that he's drawing EVERY saf character daily until he draws them all

Today's character is Richard "Dick" Big

Day 10/55

[lizzieisright]

omega abs ? 😣

oh my fucking god yes

female alpha!reader x omega!abby

Palestine: what can you do

Summary: Abby is sure she will never meet her dream alpha after what happened with Owen. And then she meets you.

Tags: dead dove: do not eat. a/b/o universe (female alphas have dicks), modern AU, descriptions of smut (heats/ruts), Owen is a piece of shit, reader is a sweetheart. Also I'll always make Ellie and Abby friends because their dynamic cracks me up every time.

Notes: this one is genuinely weird in terms of my writing style. It's 6k long for no reason except that I wanted to see how everything will play out and build some kind of omega!abby lore. Also it was meant as a bullet point thingy like hcs, but then it got too long, so the sentences might sound weird.

If you guys want something specific with omega!abby, reqs are open.

Me: *slaps the title of the fic* this bad boy can fit a whole multichapter in it.

/-/-/-/-/-/-

There's one thing Abby knows for certain when she turns 19: she is not a typical omega.

Abby's scent is not too sweet: she smells more like fresh roses than vanilla. All other omegas have more prominent scents, and Abby sees how alphas favour them. She is insecure about her scent, and she is not too prideful to admit she wants alphas to like her. Like any other omega Abby feels pressured by society to look a certain way - and she is already tall, so she starts going to the gym to get fit, to look more attractive, to grow that bubble butt everyone's talking about. She just started university and she wants to be cool.

(Ellie tells her it's all bullshit. Ellie is her biggest supporter and she is the one who growls at other alphas when it's needed. It's hilarious, because Ellie is fucking tiny. "I'm still an alpha, Anderson!" Ellie whines usually and Abby flicks her forehead.)

The gym works: she gets more attractive. Her butt is round, her arms are toned and her shoulders balance her hips, making her waist look thinner. Abby meets Owen and she thinks he is the one. He is the first alpha she spends her heat with. And well, maybe it's not how she imagined it would be, but Abby doesn't complain. After all, perfect alphas only exist in books and movies, not in reality.

(she dreamt about feeling safe and protected with her alpha, feeling loved and taken care of. Owen is all growls and bruises.)

Ellie hates Owen's guts. There's always some sick smell when they're in the same room, and Abby is doing all she can to manage it and make two of the most important alphas in her life like each other. Owen tries to convince Abby that alphas and omegas can't be friends - and it works. Abby stops spending too much time with Ellie, tricked into thinking that Ellie actually has feelings for her. Ellie lets it happen.

(Owen is so much more violent during ruts. Abby knew this too: alphas are ruthless in ruts, but she didn't expect being borderline assaulted. Again, she doesn't complain. She is in love, and Owen knows better.)

Abby keeps going to the gym, and in time her muscles grow and show more. Abby is happy - she put so much work into her body and it shows now! She is so much stronger now, and she doesn't mind that her waist is not so tiny anymore. Abby feels powerful.

Owen, however, gets grumpier with every pound of muscle on Abby's body: he doesn't like it. He doesn't support her when she shows how much progress she made.

Then he starts joking about it. He tells her it makes her look less like omega. That she is almost as big as he is. That people won't be able to tell who is the alpha in their relationship. Abby swallows everything and starts doing more cardio. She wants Owen to be happy. She wants to be his mate one day.

And then one day Abby catches Owen with another omega.

She is small and smells like coconut, she is everything Abby isn't.

Abby wants to die.

Abby calls Ellie for the first time in months, sobbing violently. Ellie picks her up and spends the night soothing Abby, and the next day beating the shit out of Owen. Yes, she is tiny, but alpha strength is alpha strength, and Ellie is furious.

Abby doesn't really recover from this. She thought Owen would be her first and her last, but now her dreams and her self-esteem are in ruins.

Abby blames herself for Owen's cheating. She blames herself for building her body, for not being omegy enough, for having a weak scent, for not being what he wanted. 

So Abby grows distant, believing she has no worth as an omega. She avoids alphas, she doesn't recognize when someone's interested. She doesn't let herself smell other people. The only alpha she still talks to is Ellie, because Ellie is Ellie. Her best goblin friend who doesn't even react to her heats, because she is so used to Abby.

(it actually breaks Abby's heart a little: is her scent so weak it doesn't affect alphas at all?)

Her younger brother, Lev, moves to the city for university when Abby is in her graduation year, and Abby puts her energy into taking care of him. She comes to his place from time to time, bringing food or snacks for him. They have movie nights as well. It makes Abby feel less alone. Less useless.

One day Lev asks her to come to the party with him: it's his first time going to a party and he has no idea what to do, especially since there'd be really cool people who are his seniors and he doesn't want to have an egg on his face. 

"Can you ask Ellie to come as well? Please? I need more cool people on my side."

Abby laughs and makes sure Ellie is going to come. Ellie adores Lev, so she agrees immediately.

This party is on another level, Abby thinks. It's not frat bros and awful alphas like it was when Abby went to parties with Owen. This party looks like all smart and successful people in the uni decided to get piss drunk, and it is as cool as it is hilarious. Abby knows some of them - she waves at Nora and hugs Manny when he sees her: they're only people Abby kept in contact with after breaking up with Owen. They stopped being friends with him the moment they found out what happened.

Lev is very nervous. He clings to Abby's arm and she laughs kindly.

"Hey, relax. You're supposed to have fun."

"Yeah, I know." Lev says, a little irritated, but it makes Abby and Ellie laugh again.

Ellie takes everything in her hands and comes back with three beers, opening them for Lev and Abby. Abby chuckles at her typical alpha behaviour, but doesn't tease her. They share a drink, and Lev is still nervous, so Ellie takes him to the dance floor and he finally relaxes next to his second favourite person and his first favourite alpha.

Or so Abby thinks.

She watches another person come to them, and by the way Ellie tenses Abby guesses it's an alpha. Abby tenses too: the protectiveness kicks in.

But the alpha smiles and hugs Lev like Abby does: like if this alpha was Lev's older sister. They talk for a bit and then Lev points in Abby's direction. The alpha nods and waves at Abby. She waves back, confused.

And then this alpha makes her way to Abby.

Abby is caught off guard: the alpha is hot. She is also friendly judging by the smile and the way she treated Lev, and Abby can’t decide how to behave around her. She is not bitter after what happened with Owen, but she is definitely out of practice of talking with hot alphas.

You watch Lev's sister's face go through a variety of emotions, and it makes you chuckle - you too would be confused. But you want to meet her and make sure she knows Lev is taken care of: he is under your wing. He is a sweet kid, shy one, and you know how nervous he is about everything, so you want him to have this safety net.

"Hi!" You say cheerfully and give your hand for a handshake. You try not to think of how beautiful Lev's sister is, how much her blue eyes hypnotise you. She is fucking adorable, that what she is. 

"Hi?" And her voice is soft too. You blink to clear your mind and tell her your name. You can’t smell her, but you’re pulled to her like a magnet.

"I'm Lev's student guide." Abby nods, not sure if she is okay with an alpha around her baby brother.

"I'm Abby, Lev's sister." You beam at Abby and she feels her stomach flutter. Abby quickly tries to kill the butterflies, but you seem so genuine. She can't smell you when there's so many people around, and maybe it's a good thing.

“Lev gave me your number as an emergency contact, and I just wanted you to know if an unknown number texts you that Lev is puking after doing beer pong, it will be me.” Abby can't help her chuckle: you do sound genuine. Abby feels like you really care about her brother and it makes her feel better. 

Lev and Ellie come back and Abby looks at how Lev's face lights up when you smile at him. Oh no. He has a crush on you. It breaks Abby’s heart: she sees how you treat him like a baby brother, and Abby knows Lev has no chance. She also thinks if she looked like this when she met Owen, all star-struck and hopeful. At least you look like a better person.

Abby also feels how tense Ellie is around you. Another alpha thing, but this one is annoying - Ellie’s protectiveness is borderline territorial, so Abby glares at her. Ellie glares back, but some of the tension goes away.

You ruffle Lev’s hair and ask him to enjoy the party and find you if they need anything. Ellie only fully relaxes when you’re lost in the crowd.

“She is the coolest.” Lev tells them and Ellie huffs. “She always helps me around. Saved my ass a few times as well.”

“Well, kid, I don’t want you to get hurt by her, okay?” Ellie says and Lev blushes. 

“Don’t worry, Ellie. I know nothing will happen.” Lev smiles. “She likes people on her level. Someone like you, Abby.”

Abby’s heart skips a beat in pain. There's no way an alpha like you would like an omega like her. 

Or if there is, then there's something wrong with you and you shouldn't be around her brother. 

“She doesn't seem too bad.” Ellie says almost through her teeth; she is as annoyed at her nature as Abby is, but she tries to have a clear head. “But if she hurts you, I'll kill her.” 

Abby would laugh, but the image of Owen's bloody face and a broken wrist don't let her. It's a good thing he didn't press charges, too humiliated to admit he got his ass kicked for cheating. 

Abby forgets about you until she is getting ready to sleep tonight. She puts her palm under her cheek, blissfully unaware, and takes a breath that is full of your scent. It shakes her, having an alpha scent on her, and Abby can't control herself.

Abby's cheeks burn, her heart picks up speed. Her cunt throbs. 

You smell amazing. It has an edge, like any other alpha’s scent, but it's not suffocating. Well no. It is, but it doesn't feel bad, it makes Abby bury her nose in her palm and take a deep sniff. It makes her feel safe. 

And Abby is terrified. She can't like your scent. It's dangerous, she can't risk herself like this, it's stupid. Lev has a crush on you, for god's sake! And even if she could, you'd never look her way. You're a good alpha and good alphas like pretty, small, sweet smelling omegas. Not Abby. 

She doesn’t know that she also left some of her scent on your palm. She doesn’t know you’ve been smelling it the whole night, addicted to the smell of fresh roses and memory of pretty blue eyes. She doesn't know that you struggle to control your eyes from changing to alpha red the whole time. 

You're ready to claw walls after meeting the prettiest omega of your life that you know is sweet and kind and smart: Lev really can't shut up about his sister. It's fucking eating you alive. 

And you have no idea when you'll meet her again, but then you remember that both of you are in the same university. So you start trying to figure out her schedule. You know she is a med student, so you take a chance at going to the library. 

And you're not wrong: Abby is there, looking miserable as she takes her notes. Your instincts kick in and you try to think of a way to make her feel better, but you get your shit together: it would be creepy. 

So you just walk over and ask to sit next to her. Abby is surprised, but she lets you anyway. 

It's awkward. You both are trying to not inhale too much, but the scents are respectively addictive: you smell her fresh roses and she smells your spice and safety. You want to bury yourself in her neck and mark her, scent her, make her yours, but you push these thoughts away.

“How's Lev doing?” Abby asks, not being able to concentrate anymore. It's even more embarrassing that you both smell of attraction, but it doesn't really mean anything: it was proven to be an instinct thing, therefore not reliable in human society. It just makes everything awkward for everyone.

“He is excellent, honestly. He got interested in charity work and I think he will soon be cleared to volunteer at animal shelters.” 

“Good. Thanks for looking after him. I don't want him to get hurt, you know?” Abby didn't mean to say this, but you catch the meaning of her words anyway. She can smell a faint hurt coming from you, but it's not big enough. 

“I'll do whatever I can to make sure he is safe.” You promise Abby and her attraction grows. You blink, but get back into conversation, trying to find more about Abby. 

Abby is.. reluctant. She is polite, but her answers are short, and you're not an idiot, you can take a hint, so you apologise for taking her time and go. 

Abby watches you go and gets filled with sorrow. You seem so sweet, and it scares her. She can't understand what is your angle and why are you bothered with her. She is sad because she wants you to be bothered with her. She wants you to like her; but Abby's brain doesn't even entertain the idea of it. Plus, Lev is crushing on you, it would be absolutely unfair of her to like you. 

The sour smell of sadness makes Ellie restless when she gets to the library half an hour later for their study session. She looks Abby over and tries to piece together what's wrong. 

“Did something happen?” 

Abby is also reluctant to tell Ellie, but she does it anyway. Ellie frowns the whole time, not pleased with another alpha upsetting her baby. Abby is quick to defend you and say that it's she who is the problem. Ellie kicks her under the table. 

“You are not a problem. It's Owen in your head again! Let go of this asshole. There are better alphas than him, fuck, any decent alpha is better than him. Don't assume shit.” Ellie tells her and Abby nods. 

Abby decides to try. Maybe at least she can make a friend. So the next time you see her in the library, she actually smiles at you. 

You swallow. Hard. Abby is gorgeous. 

So you sit next to her and surprisingly, the conversation flows so much better than the last time. You think she was just super busy back then.

Abby is so fucking oblivious it's not funny. She talks to you like she'd talk to Ellie: she doesn't believe your scent, convinced it's just nature and alphas are like this sometimes, so she is relaxed. You can be friends, she thinks. You're great and smell amazing, so you can be friends. 

You're almost salivating the whole time. Abby is cute as fuck, and she is hot as fuck: she takes her hoodie off and stays in a tight crop top, and you ogle at her arms and shoulders. She is incredible. 

“I know we've just met, but I can't leave without asking. Would you go on a date with me?” 

Abby's scent spikes in surprise, and then anxiety. An awful, sick smell that makes you back off. 

“Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.” You tell her, eager to get rid of this stench, to keep Abby calm and safe. 

“Are you sure?” Abby asks, not really believing her ears. 

“I mean, I really want to get to know you better.” You admit. 

“Lev has a crush on you.” Abby blurts and you laugh kindly. 

“I know. We talked about it with him. I don't let this stuff slide when it happens.” It makes Abby feel a little easier. “But if you're uncomfortable, I totally get it. I'd love to be your friend as well.” 

“...I need to talk to Lev first.” Abby admits, her cheeks feel hot. 

“Of course. Let me know then.” You smile sweetly, your scent is so full of attraction it's hard to find an excuse for it, so Abby just ignores it. 

She smells excited now and you beam. “You’re so pretty.” You blurt before you can stop yourself, but Abby starts to smell so sweetly and her cheeks are rosy now, you feel on cloud nine. 

“Thanks, I guess.” She says, shy, and you nod. You say your goodbyes and leave Abby to study. 

Abby thinks she's gone insane. Or you've gone insane. There's no way you actually asked her on a date. 

But Abby wants to go so much. She didn't admit it, but she was getting lonely, and then suddenly you came along and made her heart beat faster. 

So she gains courage and talks to Lev. He gets sad, but not the sour kind, the faint lavender of regret. 

“I told you she would like you.” Lev smiles and Abby hugs him, trying to comfort him. “She is good, I promise.” 

“I'm sorry, Lev.” 

“Don't be.” Lev chuckles and they spend the evening watching the movie. 

Next day you text Abby to find out if everything worked out and she gives you a positive. You grin like an idiot the whole day and plan the date.

You don't get all romantic on your first date, since you feel like Abby might get anxious, so you two just go to a bar and have a game of pool. 

It's perfect: you both are competitive, you get to see Abby bend down and you get to flirt a lot after a drink. Abby is wearing high waisted jeans and her bubble butt looks amazing in them. You don't know this, but Abby was desperate to make herself look more like an omega, and even if she couldn't hide her shoulders and biceps, she wanted to compensate for it, showing off her butt. 

Abby is oblivious to your hungry eyes when she takes a hit, but you're struggling. Abby is sweet and she smells so fucking good. You're itching to touch her, but you keep yourself in check. So instead you compliment her. A lot. 

Abby is flustered: no one ever talked to her like this. No alpha made it clear to her that they found her this attractive. But you keep your mouth running. “Your shirt looks so good on you.” “Sorry, I can't stop staring at your shoulders. They're very nice.”

Abby laughs at this one and feels more comfortable in her own skin. So she opens up. “My ex didn't like that I work out so much.” She chuckles, and you look at her in mock offence. It makes her laugh. 

“What a fucking idiot. Only cowards don't appreciate muscle mommies.” You scrunch your nose and Abby laughs harder. 

“God, what is this nickname?”

You get flustered and Abby feels all giddy. She didn't expect any alpha to get flustered, especially not because of her. “You know. When girls, especially omegas, build up a lot of muscles? People really dig it.” 

“Do you?” Abby asks, coy, and she sees the red flash in your eyes. It makes her press her thighs together. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” You say and there's a hint of an alpha voice. Abby's chest is going to explode. 

You don't kiss Abby properly tonight, instead opting to kiss her hand: you like her, and you don't want to rush it. Abby gets flustered and you can't help the spike in your scent that makes Abby's cheeks red. 

(No, you don't get off on her scent when you come home.) 

(No, Abby doesn't fuck herself on her fingers when she comes home, burying her nose into her palm where she can catch your scent.) 

You both take it slow. You kiss her for the first time on your third date and Abby folds in your hands while you purr and knead her sides. 

Abby starts spending more time at your place, where you just cuddle and watch something. You start catching her scent all around your apartment, and it's driving you crazy. You want Abby to be yours so desperately, but you make yourself think with your head and not with your dick, so you don't rush.

You're in your class when you get a call from Lev. You don't pick up the first one, but when he calls for the second time, you walk out of the class and take the call. 

Lev is crying. 

Turns out his heat came during his class and now he is scared of going home on his own. Your instincts kick in and you grab your shit at a lighting speed before storming to Lev. You text Abby while you're running, and then your mind shifts into protective mode. 

It's hard being around an omega in heat: it's hard for the both of you. Lev clings to you while you wrap your arm around his shoulders and walk him from campus to his place. You know your eyes are red and you're low-key growling, but you keep comforting Lev. 

“It's okay. I'll get you home, and Abby is going to be here, okay? I'll keep you safe, don't worry. You're doing great, just a little more, can you walk a little more for me?”

Your voice soothes Lev and you make it to his place where Abby is already pacing in worry. 

She takes a look at you and her breath hitches. Your eyes are red and so hungry, Abby feels horny and sorry for you: she doesn't know how much willpower you need to keep your head straight when there's an omega in distress and in heat. 

You both get Lev inside his apartment and you retreat to the kitchen while Abby takes care of Lev. She fusses around, gives him pills and sends him to take a shower. You sit straight, your firsts tight as you watch your girlfriend being all motherly. This mixed with the smell of heat makes you feral. It gets harder to control, especially when Abby stands in front of you, her gorgeous scent in your nose. 

“How are you?” She asks, compassionately. And you grit your teeth. 

“Can you-” You start with a growl and you smell Abby's arousal. “Fuck. Can you come here?” You pat your lap.

The moment Abby sits down you grab her and bury your nose in her neck, your arms are tight around her back. Abby yelps when you press her closer and her scent spikes with arousal, making you growl. 

“I'm not- I'm not going to do anything. I just need a moment.” You growl and Abby swallows. Her arousal tickles your nose and you growl louder, pressing your nose closer to her scent glands.

Abby is so wet in her pants she is afraid she will leak on you, but she can't help it: you're usually so sweet, hiding your nature, and now you're acting so alpha-like, and it does things to her.

“Shit. We can't-” Abby's arousal gets mixed with anxiety and you want to sneeze to get it out of your nose. 

“We're not doing anything. Not like this. I just need a redirection.”  You take a deep inhale full of Abby's scent and you finally settle down. Your voice returns and you feel like you can control your eyes again. You ease your hold on Abby and the anxiety goes away. “Did I scare you?” 

Abby is baffled. It's such a big contrast to how Owen treated her before, she is lost for words. You're worried if you sniffing her scared her while Owen didn't care if he left bruises.

The air gets filled with the smell of fresh bakery - the scent of love and affection - and you almost tremble under Abby in excitement.

“A little. I was worried if you'd stop.”

“I have excellent self-control, baby.” You wink at Abby and she slaps your bicep.

She moves a certain way that makes her pelvis move against yours and you grunt: the scent of Abby's arousal got you half-hard already, and you're kinda sensitive now. 

Abby also feels it. She grows red and you giggle, kissing her cheek. 

“Lev is going to be out of the shower soon, I should go.”

“Okay.” Abby gets up from her seat on your lap and you pout. “Do you want-” Abby shakes her head. It's a stupid idea. 

“Do I want what?”

“Something with my scent?” 

You swallow and nod. Abby stands for a second, thinking, and then just takes her shirt off, letting you see her in a bra. You see her small tits covered by her lacy bra and adjust your pants. She is so fucking hot and this is so not the time, but your cock twitches and gets harder with every second while you stare at the most beautiful omega in your life. 

“You're a fucking menace.” You growl again and kiss Abby with hunger, the rumbling in your chest resonating in hers. Abby goes pliant and kisses you back. 

It takes you two tries to get away from her, but Abby is so delicious it's insane. 

You spend the evening in your apartment, getting off on Abby's shirt, fantasising about her going into heat and how you would take care of her and how good you would make her feel. 

You're together for a few months now when Abby's heat comes. You can smell it on her the day before, when she is all whiny and tired, sleeping for the bigger part of the movie on top of you. Her usual rose scent is getting stronger. 

“Are you close to your heat?” Abby hums in agreement and you swallow, staring at the ceiling. “Okay. I can smell it.” 

“Oh.” Abby is surprised. She doesn't have a very prominent scent so she didn't expect you to notice. “Oh I didn't think you'd smell it.”

“Your scent is my fucking heaven, of course I would.”

Abby blushes. Deeply. And you feel her press her thighs together. It makes your dick twitch. 

“I think it'll start tomorrow.” 

“Do you want me to be with you?” You ask innocently and Abby chuckles. “I mean, we haven't done anything yet and I understand if you want to wait and have normal sex first. Well, if you even want to have se-”

Abby cuts you off with a kiss and you relax. “We can try normal sex now.”

And you do. It's slow and sweet and you both laugh when you bump heads and knees and when you have to fumble around for lube since you're messy, but it's perfect. 

You're not aggressive, but you still growl and claw at Abby's soft thighs, and it's a perfect balance of care and pure animalistic want, and Abby feels wanted. She kinda wants to see your control break. 

And then you dip down between her thighs and Abby yelps and pushes your head away, shy. “You don't have to-”

“I really fucking want to. But if you don't want me to, it's okay. I won't.”

“I've never done it before.” Abby admits, embarrassed. She asked Owen to do it once but he looked weirded out by her ask, so Abby felt ashamed to ask again. You stare at her in shock - a good-natured one - and Abby hides her face. 

You slow down and get on her level again, gently moving her hand away. “Hey, it's cool. I didn't mean to belittle you, I just- you're so pretty and so gorgeous, who wouldn't want to go down on you?” Abby looks at you, so deeply touched by your care she feels her eyes water. She smells of love again and you giggle, burying your nose in her neck. “We don't have to do it.”

“I kinda wanna try.” Abby murmurs, smiling, and you beam at her. 

“I'll go slow, okay? Tell me what feels good and what's not, yeah?”

That's how Abby ends up being eaten out for the first time. She loves the feeling of your mouth on her and how your fingers curl inside her. She loves how your eyes gradually become alpha red the closer she is to cumming. 

She comes down from her high and looks at you, half naked and red-eyed, like a predator you're meant to be, and her cunt throbs. 

Abby rides you until you're a grunting mess under her as she massages your tits and clenches around you. You growl, but you don't grab her or hurt her, just let her have fun, and Abby is so fucking happy. 

“I can't wait to spend my heat with you.” Abby moans and you cum immediately, filling her up. 

This time Abby gets to feel safe and taken care of during her heat as you attend her every whim, every request, from “cum inside me” to “I really want some chocolate ice-cream”. You do everything, and Abby can't be happier. She texts Ellie as much when you're out to get her ice-cream and Ellie just sends vomiting emojis. 

Of course then she tells Abby she is happy for her and that she is going to be a best woman at your wedding. 

Abby doesn't want to admit, it scares her, but she wants to be your mate one day. 

You come back not only with chocolate ice-cream, but with some junk food as well. Abby can't help but to drop to her knees right in the hallway. 

You also help Abby recover after the heat, bringing her snacks and letting her nap every chance you can, and Abby knows she is in love with you. She doesn't even need to tell you: she constantly smells of love and lust around you now, but she decides to do it anyway.

You're balls deep in her while she pinches your nipples and nibbles at your scent glands, making you whimper in her ear. “Fuck, you feel so good around me.”

“I love you.” Abby says sweetly and you shudder on top of her, and Abby feels how your cock twitches when you cum. Abby feels your fangs scraping her scent glands and she cums too, milking you. 

“Fuck, baby, shit! I love you too, I love you so fucking much, shit-” You pant and Abby grins. 

Abby likes making a mess out of you. 

For some insane reason, Abby's excited for your rut. She didn't like spending ruts with Owen, but you're so gentle and patient, Abby is sure she'll be okay. 

Your rut comes after a month after Abby's heat. Abby likes how possessive you get in pre-rut, even though you start growling at Ellie, which doesn't end well with Ellie's explosive temper. You get along well any other time, but the constant stare down irritates Ellie to the point when she tells Abby, “go fuck the crazy out of your alpha, she is so fucking annoying. Yeah, you.” Ellie stares at you while you tug Abby closer on your lap, scenting her. “Oh my god, get a fucking room. I know Abby is like, your Jesus or whatever, but it's too much.”

Abby just giggles and enjoys how your growling changes to purring. Abby turns to you and cradles your face. “My alpha.” She murmurs and Ellie groans.

“I fucking hate you guys.”

“Not our fault you fell in love with another alpha, Ellie.” You chuckle. 

“Fuck off.” She growls and two if you laugh. 

Abby stays at your place and you get to fall asleep with her in your arms.

On the next day you wake up with a heavy head. You're already hard and Abby is right there, soft and sleeping. You think about how her wet hot pussy feels around your cock and your pheromones spike up so high Abby wakes up. 

She can tell right away that you're in rut. Your scent is suffocating. It's not soft, safe suffocating scent that Abby likes, it's the one that gets stuck in her nose and makes her cunt clench around nothing. She wants nothing more than to get on her fours and present herself for you - this is how much power you have over her. 

“My rut-”

“Yes, I-”

“If you don't want to be here, I think I can hold off for 10 minutes and let you leave.” You growl and it only turns Abby on. 

So she does what she wants - she gets on her knees, her cunt right in front of your face, and arches her back. 

“Knot me, baby.” 

All your restraints break. You're rough and you make Abby take everything: if she is not cumming on your cock, she is cumming on your fingers as you fuck your cum back into her, or she is sitting on your face. Abby struggles to keep up with you, since she is not in heat, but she can't wait to take your knot, and she tells you as much. You growl and fuck her harder, feeling your release building up. Abby is so pretty under you, covered in marks, her tits red from your mouth. She spreads her legs and you pin her thighs by her sides, watching your cock disappear in her pretty little pussy. You finally push your knot into Abby and she whimpers, tries to adjust to your size, but you rub her clit and she clamps on you.

“Mine. My omega. My girl.” You growl loudly while Abby clenches around your knot, thrashing on the bed. It's too much pleasure and she knows you're far from done.

And Abby is right. You make her cum on your knot four other times, and only after she makes you cum again - which means she cums st least three times more - you give her a break. You're still sweet, but now it's possessive sweetness. You don't let her do anything, bathing and feeding her, but she is so exhausted she doesn't even notice. 

“I wanna nap.” Abby tells you when she is snuggled against your chest. It's a small break before you would get horny again. 

“You should. You did so well.” Abby giggles and nuzzles your neck. 

“Don't wait if you get horny again. It would be a nice way to wake up.”

“I fucking love you.”

“You better. You're my alpha. It's a requirement.”

“You call me your alpha again and you're not napping, babe. Go the fuck to sleep.” You kiss her forehead and Abby laughs.

Abby doesn't know if it's luck or destiny, but this time she is sure: you are the one for her.

(and she is right.)

[daddyy333]

You’re drunk | Chris Sturniolo x y/n

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

word count: 1.4k

warnings: reader is a drunk, a guy tries to take her upstairs but nothing serious, ?

summary: You admit your feelings to Chris after he protects you from another guy at a party

“Chrisss! Come on, you said you would come out with me tonight” you said and he sighed. He rolled his eyes and pulled the cover over himself once more. You groaned and ripped the blankets off of him, throwing them on the floor.

“I need my favorite passenger princess. I wanna style you, that way you actually look good this time” you said and giggled. He scoffed and said “I have great outfits, shut up” He got up and slipped on some shorts so he wasn’t just in his underwear for the time being and you handed him some cargo pants and a really cool graphic tee he bought in Boston, but he ended up covering it with a hoodie (even though you begged him not to) . You just picked out air forces since somehow all of his outfits can be paired with air forces and look good.

“Alright, I’ll be waiting in the car” you said and he shook his head, heading in the bathroom to take a really quick shower. He came down about 20 minutes later and you just stared at him as he got in. “What?” “Dude, I've been waiting here forever” you said and he shrugged, connecting his phone so he could have aux like he always does.

When you got to the party he mostly just sat on the couch, making sure no one was trying to harm you but eventually you got too bored and wanted to dance with Madi who also happened to be there. The next time he went to go find you, he found you being taken upstairs by some random guy.

“Jacob….I’m not going with you!” He could hear you say faintly over all the music. God, you were really drunk. Chris could hear him trying to shush you, grabbing your waist to pull you closer.

He quickly made his way over and shoved Jacob, telling him to back off. Jacob shook his head and walked away and you stumbled over to Chris and nearly fell over before he caught you in his arms. You groaned and looked up at him, not realizing he had come and got Jacob away.

“Chris,” you said, eyes lighting up as you smiled up at him and giggled. Whilst his hands rested on your waist, you cupped his cheeks and he said “you are so unbelievably drunk” “what?! Nuh uh” you slurred, resting your head on his shoulder.

He chuckled and picked you up, carrying you up to the bathroom. He locked the door and sat you on the counter, making you sip on his water. You stared up at him with hearts in your eyes, giggling to yourself through your hiccups.

“Do you know how much I love you?” You asked, leaning forward. He smiled softly and said “I know. I love you too, y/n” “no I mean…like, love you love you. I love your pretty blue eyes and your handsome face. And I love how you make me feel so warm and safe. I love the way you take care of me and…and come with me to stupid parties that you don’t want to be at just because you care so much. I’m in love with you, Christopher Owen Sturniolo!” You said, kissing his nose.

He shook his head, biting his lip before he said “you’re drunk, y/n” “don’t- don’t do that! Sto- stop pretending like you don’t experience any romantic feelings ever, or that you’re not allowed to or some shit. I wanna be with you! Please,” you said, grabbing onto his hoodie.

He licked his lips, taking a deep breath as he looked over your face. Your plump, rose colored lips and your glossed over eyes. The smoky eyeliner you probably spent half an hour working on before you came to his house. The necklace he got you as part of your birthday gift last month.

“Chris, say something, come on!” You whined. He let out a shaky breath, cupping your cheeks and kissing you softly. You gasped slightly, relaxing as you ran your fingers through his soft hair and felt his even softer lips work against yours.

When you pulled away, your eyes were wide and you were panting softly. He sighed and said “you could’ve at least been sober when you said all that. Fuck, you know this is hard for me” “I’m sorry” you said and he shook his head.

He pecked your lips a few more times and said “no, god no don’t ever be sorry. Are you kidding?” He chuckled and so did you, clinging onto him even tighter. You sighed and closed your eyes, relaxing your body as tiredness washed over you.

“Hey, did you ever think about who’s gonna drive home tonight?” He asked and you perked up, looking up at him with wide eyes again. He shook his head and said “it’s fine, I do have my permit and I think I might get by without crashing your car” “chris please I can’t afford a car crash right nowww” you whined and he laughed at you.

“I got it, y/n, I won’t crash it. It’s basically all backroads to my house anyways, we’re gonna be fine” he said, helping you off the counter. You were still quite drunk and he wasn’t sure if you were gonna make it down the stairs before the sun came up.

He picked you up bridal style and you squealed, holding onto him tight. “Relax I got you…been holding you like this since I was like 15. Remember, I used to play it off like I wasn’t shaking” Chris said and you giggled. “Yea…yea I remember” you said, playing with a stray strand of his hair.

You fell asleep on the drive home, and the streets were mostly empty so even though Chris was kind of hugging the right side as he drove it didn’t matter. He carried you in and you woke up when he closed the door, making him wince.

“Sorry…” “it’s okay…put me down” you said and he did, holding your waist to make sure you were okay. You walked slowly to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water. “I’m so thirsty” you said, gulping the water down as fast as you could.

He chuckled, watching as a little dribbled on your chin. He wiped it away and moved to the pantry to pull out something for you to eat. He decided on a grilled cheese, something he knew you liked and couldn’t possibly be messed up.

You sat at the counter, putting your head on your folded arms and slowly drifted off. Matt came out and said “yo what’s going on?” As he rubbed his eyes tiredly. Chris turned around and shushed him, pointing to you.

“She’s drunk,” he whispered and Matt chuckled. Chris turned back to the stove before saying “I don’t know if this is good or bad but she told me she loved me” “what??” Matt nearly shouted. Chris smacked him with the spatula and said “shh!” but he couldn’t help the smile on his face as he said it.

He scooped the sandwich onto a plate and gently shook you awake. “You’re falling asleep everywhere, y/n. Come on, let’s get you in a bed” he said, caressing your cheek. You blushed from the slight embarrassment, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck as you looked up at him, eyes nearly closed because of your drunk and exhausted state. He still looked so handsome to you.

“Matt bring me the grilled cheese please” he said and you looked behind him. You hummed and said “hey Matt” He chuckled at you and waved as he followed the two of you.

You snuggled up in bed and ate the grilled cheese, even though you just wanted to cuddle with him and sleep. He left you alone to put on other clothes and then wiped off your makeup for you before he finally laid with you.

He watched as your eyes fluttered closed, your lips slightly pouted and your cheeks still super rosy. You looked like an angel to him. “I love you too, y/n” he said shakily, playing with your hair. You smiled, just barely awake enough to hear him as you squeezed his shirt with the hand that was on his chest. You buried your head into his chest and he chuckled, kissing your head a few times.

God, he was so lucky.

As of now l'm writing for

Eddie Munson

Lo’ak

Neteyam

Geralt of Rivia

Henry Cavill

Chris Sturniolo

Jake Webber

Dominic Toretto

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and l'll add you :)

[tellmegoodbye]

Hello everyone,

Happy LONE STAR DAY!!

I have a few housekeeping things to talk about before I return to our usual Music Monday format, but I know we're all excited for tonight so I will try to keep this brief.

If you would like to check out our playlist for the countdown event you can find that here.

Since we are getting new episodes now, I thought it would be a cool idea for a new way to participate in the tag. If you have a song that you relate to the new episodes, share them with us!

Please continue to refer to this post for any new Music Monday info, or if you just need a refresher on how the tag works.

Here's a quick overview of what Music Monday is for those of you who are new here. You share your songs that you relate to the show, its characters, storylines, fanfics, etc. All songs are added to their respective playlists and your explanations are added to the docs I have created for each playlist.

Reminder: Make sure to either tag me in your posts OR you can use the 911ls music mondays tag so that I can find and reblog your contributions.

Okay, now that we've got that out of the way, onto my songs for the week!

---

Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park

I dreamed I was missing You were so scared But no one would listen Cause no one else cared After my dreaming I woke with this fear What am I leaving When I'm done here?

Don't be afraid I've taken my beating I've shared what I've made I'm strong on the surface Not all the way through I've never been perfect But neither have you So, if you're asking me, I want you to know

When my time comes Forget the wrong that I've done Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed And don't resent me And when you're feeling empty Keep me in your memory Leave out all the rest

This song is a reflection on the way we live our lives and how we will be remembered when we're gone. When I think about these lyrics in the context of Lone Star, they could really apply to any character, but Gabriel is who specifically comes to my mind for this song.

To me, this is Gabriel's message to Carlos. He's spent a lot of time reflecting on his own mistakes and has struggled to express the love he has for his son, but he hopes that Carlos will remember him as someone who never stopped trying and who always strived to be better. He didn't always get it right, but he looks at Carlos and feels so much love and pride, and he wants Carlos to know that and to see that.

Zzyzx Rd. - Stone Sour

Propped up by lies and promises Saving my place as life forgets Maybe it's time I saw the world

I'm only here for a while But patience is not my style And I'm so tired that I gotta go

What am I supposed to hide now? What am I suppose to do? Did you really think I wouldn't see this through Tell me I should stick around for you Tell me I could have it all I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go

I'm over existing in limbo I'm over the myths and placebos I don't really mind if I just fade away

I'm ready to live with my family I'm ready to die in obscurity 'Cause I'm so tired that I gotta go

This is a song written from the perspective of someone struggling with addiction. The narrator addresses his loved ones with a sort of brutal honesty about his feelings towards life, but it's also a song about love and support at the same time. It's about someone who is there for you even when you're in your worst moments and can't see a way out.

This song reminds me of TK and Owen in s1. Owen is ready to do whatever he has to do in order to help TK, and TK lets him in as much as he can, but these lyrics are also an realistic viewpoint on the state of his mental health in the aftermath of his suicide attempt. He knows Owen loves him and is there for him, but he still needs to find that healing outside of that support.

Impossible - Nothing But Thieves

Love, it stings and then it laughs At every beat of my battered heart A sudden jolt, a tender kiss I know I'm gonna die of this And that's because

I could drown myself in someone like you I could dive so deep I never come out I thought it was impossible But you make it possible

I'll take the smooth with the rough Feels so fucked up to be in love Another day, another night Stuck in my own head but you pull me out You pull me out

I really hit y'all with a couple angsty gems today, so I should probably round this post out with a more upbeat song. This song screams Tarlos to me, and reminds me of the early days of their relationship where everything is new and overwhelming, but it also just feels right at the same time. They've come to that realization that what they have is something special, and that they might have found their soulmate. Before they met, such a notion felt impossible to them.

@strandnreyes @lemonlyman-dotcom @bonheur-cafe @heartstringsduet @herefortarlos

Tags!

@eclectic-sassycoweyes @literateowl @carlos-tk @paperstorm @guardian-angle22

@ironheartwriter @emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @whatsintheboxmh @firstprince-history-huh

@nancys-braids @captain-gillian @alrightbuckaroo @theghostofashton @sweettkstrand

@toomanycupsoftea @corsage @certifiedflower @goldenskykaysani @reeeallygood

+ open tag

please tell me if you would like to be added/removed from my tag list

[casspurrjoybell-26]

💖Sweet Revenge💖 - Chapter 12

*Warning Adult Content*

Blake Welling

I had everything planned out in my head... exactly what I was going to say... exactly how I was going to say it but when Aaron opens the door wearing nothing but a pair of pale blue briefs, my train of thought goes straight off the rails.

My eyes drink in miles of milky skin and toned muscle, picking up all the details along the way... smooth shoulders, small, pink nipples, a tapered waist and lightly defined abs, the sharp angle of hips and finally, a generous bulge in the front of his briefs.

I swallow hard and swear.

He swears too and tries to slam the door in my face.

I catch it... barely... and by some miracle convince him to let me in and now I'm standing awkwardly in his small apartment while he quickly throws on some clothes.

"I don't need your concern," he says, facing away while he pulls a shirt over his head.

"I'm perfectly all right and have been for the past ten years, thanks very much. I don't need you barging into my life... into my apartment... for fuck's sake... telling me you're worried about me. Like I said last night, you don't know anything about me."

"I know something," I say, stubbornly refusing to be put off.

He spins to face me, his pale face drained of color, though from what emotion is hard to tell.

"Oh yeah and what version did you hear? Is it the one where I slit my wrists or the one where I tried to drown myself in the lake?"

"N-neither," I stammer, taken aback.

"Well then, what?" he demands.

"A b-bridge," I say.

He stares at me a moment, perfectly still, mouth slightly open.

"Shit."

He walks the two paces to his narrow bed and drops onto it, leaning forward to rest his head in his hands.

I stand for a moment, immobilized by uncertainty, before crossing the small room to sit beside him.

I don't touch him and I keep a few inches between us.

I just want him to know I'm here and I'm listening.

He looks up at me, and his eyes are slightly red, though whether from emotion or a rough night's sleep is hard to tell.

"I don't know what you heard or where you heard it from but I never tried to hurt myself, Blake. I didn't need to. You and your friends hurt me enough."

"They weren't my friends," I protest quickly.

He shoots me a glare.

"That's not what they told me."

"Who was it anyway?" I ask.

"Does it matter? What are you gonna do, track them down ten years after the fact and tell them off, Tarantino style? It's too late for that and I wouldn't want you to anyway."

"I can guess," I say grimly.

"I bet it was Chad Wilson, Brad Smith and Owen Forbes."

"Which one was Owen?" he asks, looking at his hands.

"Tall white kid with acne and creepy-pale eyes."

"Oh, yeah. That was him."

"Those three were the worst. The rest of the team were really sweet guys, believe it or not."

He's silent a moment.

"I do. I knew, even then, you weren't like them. They were hateful and ignorant and Chad at least was seriously repressed. You were just scared."

"I was," I admit.

"My parents are pretty religious and I was afraid they wouldn't love me anymore if they found out I was all about 'Adam and Steve.'"

"Do they know now?"

A little color has come back to his face, tinging the tops of his cheeks slightly pink.

The very fresh memory of him in his underwear intrudes on my mind, and I feel my own face grow warm.

"Yeah," I say, clearing my throat and leaning back on my hands.

"I came out a little while after the . . . after you gave us those chocolates. It just started to eat at my soul... that I'd done something so mean just to protect myself from the truth. I was afraid of people finding out who I was but I was more afraid of who I'd become if I kept doing stuff like that."

"What happened?" he asks, eyes as wide and blue as the sky.

I feel like I could fall into them.

I shrug.

"They weren't thrilled but they were more open-minded than I gave them credit for. They didn't disown me or give me any bullshit about 'lifestyle choices.' In fact, their main concern now is how soon they can meet their adopted grand-kids."

He smiles but it's stained with sadness.

"I'm glad it turned out okay for you," he says.

I'm a little afraid to ask but I do anyway.

"What about you?"

"My Mom wasn't in the picture," he shrugs.

"I think my Dad always suspected but when he found out for certain he kicked me out. Fortunately, my Grandma was a woman ahead of her time and she took me in until I left for college. I think she was the only one... besides my friend, Nina... who believed that I hadn't... that it was an accident."

He stares across the room and I follow the line of his gaze to a little glass display-case on a bookshelf.

Inside is some sort of tattered-looking book.

"Aaron?"

I lay my hand gently on his back and he startles beneath my touch.

When he turns to look at me, it seems like he's looking from a thousand miles away.

"I believe you, okay?" I say.

"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want. I . . . I'm actually not worried about what happened in the past. I'm worried about you now. You're pushing yourself too hard. Believe me, I recognize the symptoms. You're exhausted and unhappy and if you don't take care of yourself you're gonna make yourself sick. If something's bothering you..."

"It's you, Blake," he snaps.

"You're bothering me."

He stands, moving out of my reach.

"Look, I'll make you a deal. I'll tell you everything... every... fucking.... thing and then I want you to leave me alone."

He holds up his hands when I start to object.

"No... listen. I'm not saying forever. I know you're not the same guy you were ten years ago. Neither am I. We've both grown up and been through some shit and learned a thing or two along the way."

He pauses and bites his lip, adding in a softer voice...

"I like you, too... a lot but I'm asking you to leave me alone while I figure some stuff out. When I do, I'll come to you, okay?"

All I want to do is wrap him in my arms, take away every hurt he's ever felt, kiss him breathless and then fuck him 'til he can't walk.

Instead, I nod.

"Okay but can I buy you breakfast, at least?"

He blinks, clearly surprised I've agreed and then he laughs.

"Sure. You can do that."

[btwimkindagay]

About me

Thanks @littledreamling for the tag

Nickname: Usually Breezy! My first name is a place name, so some of my friends call me by other place names (but more commonly acquaintances who think they are funnier than they are 🙄)

Sign: Sagittarius sun, Taurus moon, Aquarius rising. I hope that doesn't give away all my secrets

Height: 5'7 or 170cm!

Last thing I googled: "Wilfred Owen Letter to Wife poem". It's actually called "The Letter"

Song stuck in my head: I don't have one at the moment which I'm grateful for because I have a headache which feels like someone is trying to lobotomise me through my left eye. (I've taken some painkillers so I'm just being dramatic until they kick in)

Followers: 138! Thanks to everyone for politely waiting out the Goncharov phase

Amount of sleep: I regularly get 9-10 hours of sleep because otherwise I feel so bad 😥 I am envious of people who need less because for me 8 hours and 4 hours feel the same 🤢

Dream job: probably also a professor, like Crow! I'd love to be able to do research on things I'm interested in (it's always gay nuns, but recently it's also polygyny within medieval Jewish communities), and chat with colleagues about theirs, and write articles, and make lots of powerpoint presentations (I love them because I can even script in my jokes), and see what the younger generation are interested in when it comes to history! However, as we have established I am a very tired person, so I'm not sure how well I would cope with the expectation of out of hours work.

Wearing: Blue silk pyjama bottoms decorated with little white vines and flowers, brown walking socks, and a long fluffy hooded! dressing gown which I would probably call maroon or burgundy. Don't judge me for this (or do, I deserve it).  For the more wattpad experience we can also say that I have thrown my long brown hair into a messy bun.

Books/movies that summarise me: I could ask my friends, or I could just insert a picture of the DSM-V here because that's what they'll all send me

Favourite song: I don't have favourite anythings to be honest, but my most played song this year (at a whopping 22 times) was Zitti e Buoni by Måneskin. Lyric-wise I'm still obsessed with Tongues & Teeth by The Crane Wives, specifically "I know that you mean so well, but I am not a vessel for your good intent".

Favourite instrument: I've played clarinet, recorder, guitar, and keyboard, none of which I had any talent for 😂

Aesthetic: I've been told so many things about how I dress so I'll try to keep it brief. I own an eclectic collection of dresses (probably 60+) and tend to favour colourful patterns for daily wear and single colour grecian-style drapes for formal events. I likewise own lot of colourful patterned tops (described by my friends as "pretty", "flattering", "interesting", and "like you took it from your mum's wardrobe" (she gave it to me)) which I wear with jeans. That said, I can most commonly be found in my "grandad" looks of a men's shirt open over a vest or buttoned to the bare minimum of decency, or one of my two favourite golf jumpers (one grey, one beige).

Favourite authors: I don't have favourite authors of books (though I definitely do for fanfiction), but I do want to read more Margaret Atwood because I've only read The Handmaid's Tale and that one quote from The Robber Bride that lives rent free in my head.

Random fun fact: I managed to get super glue in my mouth when I was decorating a christmas bauble with watch parts last night! Very on brand, I'm notoriously clumsy. I also only managed to super glue two of my fingers together, so that is a new record

Tagging @bidet-and-legolas @a-liittle-bit-of-both and anyone who fancies it!

[hopepaigeturner]

🎄Giftmas Day 6: Subscription Service--Philoise

Modern AU set about three years after the events of Six Days and Six Poems. But you dont have to read them to understand anything here. (Check them out on AO3 username: xxHope_Paige_Turner_99xx)

El recieves a book subscription from Benophie and starts chatting to another recipetant--@PlantDaddy01.

*~*~*~*~*

Christmas: Foreword

“What the?”

Eloise slipped open the envelope to find a little notecard.

Rare Birds Book Club: Welcome Aboard.

“It’s a book subscription service,” Sophie explained snuggled in Benedict’s arms. “Monthly, you get two anonymous blurbs to choose from, then it arrives all wrapped up to ensure it is a surprise!” Sophie’s eyes sparked, like when the pair talked about literature—particularly Sophie’s PHD. “They specialise in female authors—ofcourse—and there’s a whole community you can access.”

“We thought, with your big move, that it might be a nice reminder of home and a possibility for something new.” Benedict chimed in. “Until you find your feet and your favourite book café.”

“A new chapter,” Sophie added.

Eloise put on her best smile. She had always wished to fly the nest, but her heart still panged. No more would she be able to pop over to Benedict and Sophie’s for a late-night chat. She wouldn;t be able to pop down from Manchester for a comforting embrace and listening ear.

“Yeah…yeah.” She turned the postcard over, “I’ll give it a go."

1.Girl, Woman, Other by Bernadine Everisto

“I found the balance between the individual plots/styles and the overarching themes/structure of the novel to be a line well-toed. I feel it reflected the nature of race in Britain; at once so individualistic yet also overlapping.” PlantDaddy01.

“I agree with @PlantDaddy01. While I am not from a racial minority group, I liked how the book was intersectional, not just with race but class, gender and sexuality.” @E_classic-not-plastic_Bridgerton

“What do you mean by ‘intersectional’ @E_classic-not-plastic_Bridgerton ?"

“I’m referring to the idea of ‘intersectionality’. An idea that we need to look at issues through multiple lenses together—e.g. race AND gender—to fully understand the complexities of an issue. I can send you some articles if you want?” @E_classic-not-plastic_Bridgerton

“@E_classic-not-plastic_Bridgerton, that would be great. PM?”

2. Unwell Woman by Elinor Cleghorn

“Another great read! As a scientist myself, I found it very enlightening.” @PlantDaddy02.

PRIVATE MESSAGE:

El: A scientist?

Philip: What? I am a multi-faceted individual, a man who is “intersected by a variety of other determinations and ideologies”. Don’t judge a book by its cover, Eloise.

El: You read the essays I sent you?

Philip: Yes? Why wouldn’t I?

El: Oh, I usually overwhelm people with my opinions. Most of my family tune out or roll their eyes now. LOL 😂

Philip: Well those people are not worth your time—or are too narrow-minded to appreciate proper intellectual brilliance.

It had taken Eloise a while to respond after that.

3.Circe by Madeline Miller

Philip: I’m never looking at Greek legends the same way. Rick Riordan who?

El: I know it was so gripping! The description utterly entranced me, the romance, the heartbreak... Sorry that was a bit of an emotional spiel.

El: Also—Rick Riordan is still solid, thank you very much.

Philip: You like those too? After How to Train Your Dragon, that was my childhood book series. Going to be a bit controversial—Percy Jackson > Harry Potter. * goes and hides in his allotment*.

El: I TOTALLY AGREE!! I still hold the belief if stupid Universal hadn’t f—ed up the films then PJ would have been just as big as HP. FIGHT ME!

Philip: I think I know by now not to get in the ring with you—but always up to listen. Educate me El!

4.Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

Philip: Wasn’t there a movie adaptation about this? Have you seen it.

El: I heard. And not really. I don’t trust movie adaptations that much. PTSD from the PJ movies.

Philip: I understand the pain.

Philip: I’ve just look it up, T Swift did a song for it.

El: I’m always in two minds concerning TS. As a teen I really brought into the whole ‘she only writes about boyfriends’ crap. Gradually appreciating her music—especially Folklore.

Philip: Oh, Amanda loves her.

El: Is that a friend?

Philip: Sort of, not really.

Eloise decided not to look too closely at why relief flooded her system after that message.

Philip: Anyway, we could still see the movie.

Eloise’s heart stuttered.

El: Yeah, that might be nice. If it’s terrible we can throw popcorn at it.

Philip: I’d have to sort a couple things out, but you could come over to mine? Could only do Friday tho.

El: My roommates out this weekend so the flat is free. I have a sofa bed if you need to crash?

Eloise swore.

What the hell was she thinking?

Yes, she might have had a couple fantasies about Philip over the last months, (maybe more than a couple), but he didn’t need to know that.

However, a couple moments later a little star popped up in her notifications.

Philip: Sounds great. It’ll be nice to meet you in person. X

 El put her hand over her mouth—even though there was no one to see her blooming beam.

5. Oh no! Unfortunately, your surprise got lost in the mail!

Philip: Hey El. I know after last week you might not want to see me again. I get it, trust me, I do: a 24-year-old single dad with 6 year old twins isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. My life is a mess, I’m an utter mess. I should have told you about Amanda and Oli, that’s on me, and I am so sorry. I totally understand if you want to go back to messages or break contact.

But I really, really like you, Eloise. You’re smart, witty, intelligent, funny and gosh, just beautiful in every way. When I talk to you, for those moments, I feel like me. The real me. Not the reposnible dad, not the researcher, not the guy-with-the-kids. I can just be. I love it, I love us…whatever we are. I loved our night last week and I meant every word that I whispered to you under those covers and the ones I said when we woke up.

But I will respect your decision, Eloise. I will, whatever you decide. I don’t care if you want to return to being friends or pen pals…I just need my life to have you in it.

6. Diving into the Wreck by Adrienne Rich

Eloise tucked her book under her arm and rang the doorbell. She bounced on her toes outside the ground-floor flat and tried not to fiddle with her scrappy bun.

She hadn’t dressed up--hadn’t even applied makeup—on the virtuous idea of vulnerability. She had wanted to be Eloise, just Eloise—brash, coarse and raw. After all, Phillip was literally opening her heart up to her due to the invitation.

However, a ride on the bus had slowly eroded that conviction. She tried to inspect her features in the faint reflection of the window. No use.

The door swung open and Eloise’s heart fluttered.

Theo's smile transformed his face.

“Hi." He pushed his wire-framed glasses up his nose.

“Hi.” Eloise did a little wave. “It’s good to see you.” Philip startled slightly and nodded.

“Yeah, yeah—sorry,” he leant forward and kissed her cheek, “I just… his eyes slid over her body. “I am a very lucky man.”

“So am I,” Eloise replied with a blush, “a lucky woman that is—not man. Obviously.”

Philip chuckled and went to reply when—

“OLIVER! THAT’S MY CAR! GIVE IT BACK!”

Philip winced.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked.

“A wise man once told me to ‘never judge a book by its cover’.” Eloise replied, stepping up and entwining her fingers in his own.

“He sounds like an interesting guy.”

“The best,” she said, allowing him to lead her inside to start the next chapter of their story.

*~*~*~*~*

Post Christmas I might add to this, (so it's not just text messages) to add to the Six Moments series.

I used Phillip in this one even though I am more drawn to Theo (in the show, especially in comparison to bookPhilip). Although I have my own feelings about who showEloise's love interest should be.

[qnewsau]

Anti-trans podcaster Candace Owens faces Aussie visa ban

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/anti-trans-podcaster-candace-owens-faces-aussie-visa-ban/

Anti-trans podcaster Candace Owens faces Aussie visa ban

Home Affairs Minister Tony Burke says he’ll personally review the visa application of far-right, anti-trans speaker Candace Owens, ahead of a planned Australian speaking tour.

Candace, who has millions of online followers, is selling tickets for the November tour. She’s planning speaking events in Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, Perth and Adelaide.

The ultraconservative influencer and commentator has previously said the trans equality movement “is actually Satanic” and “one of the most dangerous” and “evil” things.

She has falsely claimed trans people are “clinically insane,” described affirming trans youth as a “scary trend” and falsely claimed trans people are responsible for a rise in mass shootings.

Candace Owens was widely ridiculed in 2020 for tweeting “bring back manly men” after Harry Styles wore a dress on the cover of Vogue.

Last year, Candace was demonetised by YouTube for her anti-trans videos in violation of the platform’s policies against “hateful and derogatory content,” according to Google.

‘I hope she has a good refunds policy’

In Australia, LGBTQIA+ advocates, Jewish groups and many politicians aren’t impressed by her transphobic, anti-Semitic and Islamophobic commentary.

Immigration Minister Tony Burke has discretionary ministerial powers to block or refuse visas. Burke said he’s always taken a “hard line” on hate speech.

He said as of Friday, Candace Owens had yet to make a visa application, three months before her tour dates.

“Tickets to these events are selling for $100. I hope she has a good refunds policy,” he told Nine newspapers.

“There hasn’t been an application for a visa but if there is the brief will come to me personally.

“My opposition to anti-Semitism and Islamophobia has always been on the record.

“I have clear legal powers to knock back a visa to anyone who would incite discord.”

‘Denial of the truth of the Holocaust is obscene’

Candace Owens hit back in a wild interview with 2GB host Ben Fordham on Monday morning.

She told the radio host her tour would go ahead and downplayed her inflammatory comments as “just speech and conversation”.

But even Coalition immigration spokesperson Dan Tehan has called for Australia to refuse Candace Owens a visa.

“There is no place in Australia for people who spread hateful messages and undermine social cohesion,” he said.

Independent Wentworth MP Allegra Spender said the government should block Candace from entering Australia.

“Ms Owens is a media provocateur, who makes her living generating controversy, division and hatred. Her denial of the truth of the Holocaust is obscene,” the MP said.

“We don’t need her input to public discussion in Australia at a time when we must preserve social cohesion.”

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[actuallysara]

#DINAH Masterpost: Rafael & Ronen's M&Gs

This is all from memory, lots of quick notes taken after the meetings and other fans’ contributions so I apologize in advance if some things/dialogues are not 100% accurate. Photo credits to xkeelyx1

Ronen's Saturday M&G: • He just recently hung out with Liv Tyler. He misses her a lot on set and he hopes she will be back for the tarlos wedding considering both Carlos and Nancy are very close to her.

• His favourite Harry Styles songs right now are "Cinema" and "Boyfriends". • He thinks TK got into his addiction the same way he did. Just being around wrong people and bad influences in high school especially considering how New York is the biggest place for opioids. He said TK was probably a bad boy. TK and him are so similar it's weird. After reading his first script he thought playing the character would be kind of therapeutic for him. • The first two things that are on his bucket list are: teach the same theatre program in his high school that he started in and work with the students and be one of the coaches; and start an opioid program in Staten Island because that's the worst borough in New York for drugs. • He owes his life to one of his high school teachers who was like a mum for him in high school. • He would love to do theatre and Broadway at some point. He wants to do "Streetcar named Desire". That's one of his biggest dreams. • He thinks TK and Andrea’s relationship has got to bloom at some point. TK doesn't have a mother figure anymore. Tommy is his captain so Andrea would be perfect for that role. He would love to get more TK and Gabriel stuff too.   • Roxana is hilarious and amazing to work with. • Someone suggested TK could sing to Carlos at their wedding and he said that the perfect song would be "Heroes" by Enrique Iglesias. • He thinks a crossover in season 4 is pretty much given. They couldn't do one in season 3 because Covid killed their budget but he thinks their budget is gonna get back to normal soon. • The plan for season 3 was to have a two episodes crossover. • Team Buck or team Eddie? Probably team Buck since they had some scenes together in the crossover. • He would like to shoot a scene with Angela Bassett. • He really hopes we're gonna see Jonah. If he's not mistaken Tim has said we're probably gonna see Enzo at some point too. Enzo is a massive father figure for TK cause he was there when Owen wasn't. He wants Alexander Skarsgard to play the part. "TK is gonna have a crush on his step daddy, or well, step zaddy". Timothy Olyphant or Josh Duhamel would be cool too. • We're getting a big tarlos wedding. Tim wants to make sure they earn that. Rafael and him want to see them being engaged and not rushed into it. Things are probably not gonna go smooth all the time for them. • He really wants to get more Carlos backstory. "I need to see more, I don't know anything about Carlos as Ronen." A fan was like "where do you come from?" referring to Carlos and Ronen went "heaven". • He thinks TK would be a hot mess if Carlos were to get hurt. He wouldn't handle it stoically as Carlos and he would definitely try to kill the person who hurt him. That could also potentially put his sobriety at risk. He would love to do another fight scene. • He thinks a 911 Lone Star convention with the whole cast is feasible. 

Rafael's Saturday M&G: • He thinks Carlos has sisters, he can't be an only child. He definitely grew up with a lot of women in the house. • He thinks they're still playing it very safe with tarlos and that they're still being generic with their storylines. • In the 3x08 promo we see Carlos on the phone while the plane was going down. Carlos was trying to reach TK and he left him a voicemail. He remembered what the message was but he wouldn't tell us. • The cut dinner scene from season 1 was Carlos making dinner and him and TK were talking about Iris. But production changed the storyline so that scene didn't really make any sense anymore so that's why it got cut. TK was also feeling guilty about something "as always". He finds it so ridiculous that they keep using the still from that cut scene to promote the show everywhere. • He wants to see Carlos get hurt too but he's starting to take it personally that so many people want him to be in pain. • He thinks there's a huge difference in Carlos getting hurt and in police officer Reyes getting hurt. Because if it's Carlos getting hurt then that's more exclusive to TK and his family and potentially the 126; while if it's police officer Reyes getting hurt then that involves the department and literally everybody else. • He wants TK to think he got stood up at the wedding so bad. It could go that Carlos is on his way to the wedding and maybe an accident happens and there's traffic and he could get hurt there.  • He really wants a Carlos begins episode. He wants to see what kind of mistakes he makes cause that man's not perfect. • He brought up fanfiction out of nowhere. He hasn't read any and he was shocked to hear there are graphic ones. "Are there some orgies happening? Is that why it's so hot in here?" He asked for titles but we all refused. • Shooting the tarlos proposal was the most fun he had shooting a scene. That was the last shoot of the second to last day. • He finds it funny that people focused on the "fucking lizard" line during the proposal. • He might write a script rather than a book. • He wants to get Ronen back for always posting videos of him sleeping. A fan called Ronen "a little shit" for doing that and he absolutely lost it. About him reacting with his famous "Ronen": "I love Ronen, I really do. I understand him and I see him so that's why I react that way".

Tarlos Saturday M&G: • Ronen: "you guys made us the highest selling couple of the convention. I mean it's not a competition but..." Rafael laughing: "It's not a competition but fuck them all" • They got asked if they have any lgbtq+ couples or tv shows/movies they look up to. For Rafael it's "Weekend" and "God’s Own Country"; for Ronen it's "Moonlight". • A fan asked them about tarlos wearing shoes in bed during 2x12. They tried shooting the scene with them taking off their shoes but it didn't flow and it was mostly a security/technical matter since they literally had to walk through real fire. That would have just been an impediment to get the scene out. • Carlos having longer hair in season 3 was all Rafael. • They got asked who breaks character more often between the two and it's Rafael. Cause he doesn't shoot often with Julian, Natacha and Brian and shooting with them is both the best and worst time ever. They're all funny and always make him histerically laugh. During the scene when he goes into the firehouse in 3x07, Julian, Natacha and Brian wouldn't stop making him laugh and they had to adlib during that scene so they would just keep saying the dumbest stuff. In that scene Ronen adlibs "I'm not even a firefighter anymore". Jim says some crazy stuff too and at times it's really hard to keep going during scenes. • They got asked if they could choose another actor to play Carlos/TK who would they choose and Ronen didn't miss a beat and said that nobody else could ever play Carlos Reyes. Ronen: "This is the guy and I can't even begin to imagine somebody else in the part."  Rafael: "I've never encountered myself wishing that another actor would play his role" Ronen: "Except when I annoy him and take videos in secret and he's just "Ronen". There are so many videos that you've never seen". Rafael: "I like this guy and I'm not just saying that cause he said it." • Regarding the audition tapes. Rafael said he never wants to see them but those would probably explain why they're here right now. Their connection was right from the beginning. They barely spoke and the chemistry was just there. Ronen said he doesn't want to be mean but once Rafael auditioned he went to the producers and said "Do we even have to see the other guy?" cause there was just another actor auditioning for the part. • Rafael talked again about how they're playing it safe with tarlos and Ronen went "in Station 19 you have Danielle flashing Stefania and I'm like "why aren't we doing that???" Rafael: "Are you gonna wear a sock?" Ronen: "No" Rafael: "No?! No sock?! Lord" Ronen: "I'll wear underwear, the camera just won't see it." Rafael: "Are we still talking about it?!" • The scenes in 3x15 with the lizard were added two days before shooting the episode. Rafael didn't know the lizard was real at first and just shaked the box it was in. It didn't move at all so he thought it was fake and he ended up traumatizing the poor animal. • Rafael said he can actually picture Ronen doing something like that too, just picking up a random lizard and bringing it home and Rafael would just have the same reaction as Carlos and go "Ronen NO" • A fan mentioned how they would love to see them both doing theatre and Ronen went "Tarlos: a Broadway show. Or Tarlos: the musical" Rafael: "It would be the gayest thing ever". • Lighting has been a problem for the past 3 seasons. The scenes are shot beautifully but the filter they use just make them all look grey and it gets frustrating for them too because irl they don't look anything like that. But it definitely improved from season 1. • They would love to have Liv back for the tarlos wedding. • They didn't notice that the time the proposal happened at (3:18am) was also the number of the episode. • During Carlos' hospital monologue Rafael improvised the "Believe people when they tell you who they are". They shot the dream sequence first so in order to add something for Carlos to appear really mad, he got mad too and added that line. The dream sequence was a crazy day of shooting cause they had to keep putting Rafael in and out of the scene while Ronen was walking around the living room. • They both want the wedding to happen at the right time and for it to not be rushed.

Tarlos Sunday Breakfast: • Ronen mentioned how he was waiting for Rafael to do the tarlos photos the day before and that he stood in line with fans. Ronen: "You were late and I was in line waiting for you." Rafael: "Ronen, do you know the joy I get in having YOU wait for me" Ronen: "I'm pretty punctual" Rafael: "Yeah, we're not talking about that" Ronen: "on SET. Not the make up trailer" • Ronen is an iced coffee guy and he didn't know what Rafael drinks, which is hot black coffee. When he suggested he likes tea Rafael was so affronted. He judged Ronen for liking iced coffee because it's such an American thing. • A fan brought them a gift and they joked that it's for both of them. Rafael: "You give Ronen something and then I meet all of you and you go "I gave Ronen something for you" and I go??? Where is it???" We learned Ronen doesn't share alcohol. • Someone was talking about the heat and went "where's a paramedic when you need one" and Rafael pointed at Ronen and went "She's right here" • Rafael loves the dinner scene in 1x03 cause that's the scene that made him fall in love with tarlos. • Ronen's favourite scene always changes. The engagement is number 1 and then he loves the scenes where they talk about TK's sponsor in 3x13. • Rafael really got mad at the "You know he's straight, right?" line in that scene cause that’s such a stereotypical line among queer couples. For Ronen that just made it more real.

Rafael's Sunday M&G: • Not many questions were asked during this M&G cause it was mostly a conversation about the convention, Paris, the videos he recorded for fans and the show in general and what it means to people and how it helped lots of fans during the pandemic. • He talked a bit about his trip to Ireland and how he risked his life there by driving too close to the edge of a cliff. • "Eveyone's a child. Everyone goes to bed having ice cream and watching Pocahontas" • He has watched Heartstopper.

[lukeevangelista]

“You always see the good in people. Even me” with ryder Donovan, thanks girlie! 🤍🤍🤍

the good in me - ryder donovan

it is a more blurb style. i love the donovan requests.

“you can’t do that!” you hissed at him, “you cant just act like everything is okay between us when you know it isn’t!”

“but nothing is wrong!”

“you fucking almost knocked the shit out of him ryder!”

“but i didn’t!”

“that’s not the point!”

“you didn’t hear the shit he was talking about you y/n!” he whispered, “you weren’t down there so you don’t get to say anything about this.”

“i don’t get- fuck you ryder.”

“see this is the problem! you always take up for people who don’t deserve it and you always see the good in people. even in me. especially when they don’t deserve it.” he whispered, “i didn’t mean it how it was said.” he stated as he neared you, his hands finding yours.

“you don’t get to say that to me and then apologize and think everything is going to be okay.” you said jerking your hands away from him, “that’s not how it works.”

he looked taken back as you rolled your eyes at him, watching the gears in his brain turn to find another excuse.

“you know what? you’re right. happy?” he asked, “i’m wrong. is that what you want to hear?”

“no! because you don’t believe it! you think your actions are justified and let me tell you donovan,” you said as you leaned closer, “but let me tell you, they’re not.”

he shook his head before walking towards your door.

“i’ll talk to you later.”

———————————————————————————-

later came, later went. you hadn’t heard from ryder in a couple of days since he stormed out of your dorm, clearly upset about everything that had happened.

he wasn’t the type to keep it going; he’d rather run at first, then talk about the problem when you both were cooled down.

it was game day and as long as you and ryder had been dating, you had never missed a game.

and you weren’t starting now. even if you were arguing with him, you'd still be there. you walked down the stairs, your donovan jersey gracing your shoulders as you stood near the glass; your usual spot.

the boys took warmups a few moments later, you seeing the sluggish look on ryder's face. he lifted his head, his eyebrows raising as his eyes met yours, all in the world feeling right in that moment.

like everything had disappeared.

he continued his game day ritual, him flipping a puck over the glass to you, you handing it to the little kid next to you, who had been begging for one since the players had hit the ice.

he stood near the glass, you standing near it, him turning around to face you, giving a small smile; which you reciprocated.

'good luck' you mouthed as he blew you a subtle kiss before getting shoved by owen, who pulled your boyfriend off the ice.

the game went by unhitched as they won 5-3 against michigan state.

you walked through the arena, a sigh leaving your lips as you headed towards the door before your last name echoed through the rink.

"y/l/n! baby, stop walking." you could hear ryder holler through the rink.

you whipped around seeing the handsome boy walking towards you, "i have nothing to say to you right now, ry."

"i have so much to say to you thought." he whispered as he stood close to you, "i have so much. i need you to know that you were right. and that's not me just saying it to resolve this. i truly mean it. you were right and i should have seen it from your point of view." he started, "i didnt realize it until owen talked to me, after i ranted to him. he calmed me down and made me realize that this isnt all about my feelings, but about you too and i'm so sorry for making you feel like it was just about me." he finished.

your eyes scanned his face as your eyes met his, seeing the hesitation in his as you grabbed his hands, "i forgive you." you started, "but you've got to realize, i dont just say that stuff to start arguments ryder. the last thing i want is to be arguing with you."

"i know," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, "i'm so sorry."

"i know you are."

[creativeashproductions]

Pregnancy Test Roulette // Charlie Gillespie

Summary: As a college student living with your three best friends is the best and even better when they get along with your long-term boyfriend. However, one of your best friends decides to film a video inspired by another tiktok video. You just had to jinx yourself.

Warnings: Swearing, unplanned pregnancy, allusion to abortion (doesn’t use the actual word), college, and reader has a gender-neutral roommate and best friend named Lu.

Words: 2.4k

A/N: This inspired by a video I watched of someone announcing her pregnancy by taking a test with her friends. They each took one and put in a box to shake and hell exploded with the positive, the actual person was aware before the pregnancy roulette

Masterlist

They say your ’20s are your best years and maybe that comes from being able to bounce back from a night out with your friends. A night that turned your memory into episodic moments you could recall and others you had to guess about. Maybe it’s because you’re in the years where you aren’t under lock and key with your parents but not at the point where you’re expected to have a marriage, kids and mortgage.

It was the sweet spot in life. Now you didn’t drink as much as you did your first year, but you did enjoy the odd glass of wine occasionally—a beer with your older brother or a shot with your best friend. But more often than not you were in bliss nestled into your boyfriend’s side watching an old movie with a bucket of popcorn you had argued over who would make. However, Charlie was in Vancouver filming for Julie and the Phantoms leaving you in your house for the upcoming season. The home you shared with your three college friends to save money but not be stifled in dorms.

“I have an idea!” Sophie spoke, sliding into the living room in her thick socks with duckies on them. Her sudden appearance received both Alice and your attention from the movie Bad Moms playing.

Sophie’s recently dyed blue hair concealing her face from you as she flipped the long strands from her hair. Her bright brown eyes glittering with the same happiness that typically exuded from her.

“What’s this idea?”

“Where’s Lu?” Sophie inquired scanning for them in the room, “Did they have a date?”

“Nah, I’m right here Phee,” Lu announced their presence from the kitchen island going over work emails.

Sophie quickly dragged them from the counter to Alice and you on the couch with a box in her hands. Everyone in the room shared a look as the blue-haired girl went into one of her tangents that could continue indefinitely.

“Phee, calm down. What do you want to do?” Lu questioned whereas Alice had leaned forward to grab a look at the box.

“I think the best question is: what does it have to do with the box of pregnancy tests in your hand?” Alice asked flicking her ocean blue eyes at the girl sheepishly looking at the group, “Do you think you’re pregnant?”

“What! No! I thought it would be hilarious to take a test each and put in the box.” Sophie replied, pursing her lips together with a pleading look in her eyes, “Plus I wanna know how you do it…?”

You sighed with a shake of your head, ���You saw this on Tiktok. We’re all damn careful at preventative measures. There’s no harm in taking the test. Hand one over.”

Sophie was quick to hand you a test along with the rest of the group before splitting off to the attached bathroom to your master suite room. You hadn’t even fought for the room when you moved in your sophomore year of college. Lu had been quick to announce that as the only one in a relationship Charlie would be over and they didn’t want a show.

The instructions were straight forward enough you had capped the test brought it the hallway to drop in the box held by Sophie. The camera catching everyone as they did so. Lu followed with their test followed by Alice, and you wandered back to your seat in the living room.

“Is there a reason you made us pee on sticks?” You inquired grabbing one of the decorative pillows Alice had bought. It was mostly Alice’s touch that brought the living room together with her minor in interior design.

“I thought it would be fun.” Sophie simply shrugged joining Lu on their couch, leaving Alice back in her seat.

The movie still paused as per Sophie’s request, so no one forgot about the tests waiting to be revealed. You had no clue why it mattered to not forget about them, as you had said before. Everyone had a pact to keep up on contraceptive, hell there’s a box near the hallway filled with condoms. Everyone just added a few to the box if it was lower than twenty squares.

“Okay.” Lu trailed off, clicking their fingers on the phone in their hands. Their attention is easily taken away from the game Sophie wanted.

Sophie was always jumping on trends on Tiktok, a few even before they became real trends, so this wasn’t anything new. Sophie even had a few viral videos on the app that sometimes took all her attention for a few hours. That being said, you weren’t overly scared about the outcome.

“Ooh, Charamader is calling.” Lu snorted leaning overseeing the cheesy photo of Charlie kissing your cheek. His contact photo in your phone had been taken by Luk as well.

“One moment.” You told Sophie with her wide eyes pointedly staring at the box on the coffee table littered with magazines, “It will be a second!”

Sophie waved you off to the kitchen where you clicked on the green button.

“Hey!” Charlie beamed from the kitchen on the apartment he shared with Owen during filming. His wide eyes crinkled by the grin he wore, “What’s new? How was that exam?”

“I think I did a lot better than I had expected.” You admitted to the Canadian guy brushing the hair away from his face. He had to recut to Luke’s style when filming for the new season happened.

“I told you!” Charlie cheered, flipping his gaze from his phone to the pan he was carefully inspecting, “How lucky am I? My girl is going to graduate with a fancy degree! I’ll be front row when it happens.” 

“Just as I will be right there when you win an Oscar.” You teased your boyfriend as Sophie loudly counted down from the living room. Charlie’s attention was drawn to the trio of your best friends waiting.

“Did I pull you away from something?” Charlie’s brown brows furrowed as he mentally went over the plans you had informed him of.

There wasn’t a single plan he remembered so he relaxed marginally when the fear of missing something faded.

“Sophie’s made us do this video for TikTok. We’re halfway through-“

“Hey Charlie, she’ll call you back. We had pregnancy tests to check!” Sophie interrupted ending the video call with your boyfriend.

Both Charlie and you frantically talking as Sophie ended the call with that bomb and not clarifying further on it. To take it further, the blue-haired beauty pocketed your phone as well to avoid her video being interrupted.

You had no doubt the Canadian actor was freaking the fuck out that you were taking a pregnancy test. If he was spamming your phone, Sophie wasn’t reacting to the vibrating other than to aggressively point over to the couch.

“Just text him,” Sophie grumbled throwing your phone back at you when the line formed between her eyebrows. The frustration of Charlie overcoming her excitement for the video.

“PREGNANCY TEST?” Charlie screamed as soon as you accepted his phone call, “Am I missing something?”

“Sophie wanted to do a video of Alice, Lu, her and I took one. We’re good.” You soothed the ruffled feathers of the male who released a gasp.

“Sophie, you gave me a heart attack. Holy shit, I just about knocked Owen unconscious.” The man in question was speaking, but you couldn’t hear the words he spoke, “What! I thought my girl needed me!”

“I’m Charlie but I won’t if I don’t end the call-“

“We can mute the call.” Charlie interrupted dancing on the balls of his feet with anticipation in his blood even if you had denied being pregnant, “This sounds like-”

“Nice try Gillespie. Y/N will call tomorrow, it’s roomie night.” Lu spoke before ending the call for you just like Sophie had, “AS much as I like the dude, this is getting interesting.”

You simply shared a look with Alice as Sophie expertly stationed the camera to get everyone, Alice was the one to shake the box again. Each of you was given a test to hold with snickers falling from lips. Lu’s hand ran through the recently chopped hair while Alice repositioned her body on the floor.

“Okay…one, two, three.” Sophie calmly spoke before flipping her test around. Everyone followed suit.

“Negative.” You informed the group. Lu was quick to announce the negative in her hand.

Sophie simply shook her head before everyone turned to Alice, “Alice?”

 The brunette pixie-haired girl stared at the test before she lunged for the box, “What’s a positive?”

“Why-“

“The test is positive!” Alice snapped shakily reading the instructions as she gripped the test in her hand. Her lips mouthed the words she read with a speed that greatly impressed you.

Everyone was huddled around her after Sophie had ended the video in pure shock, reading the test that very much said positive. Your lips parted in stunned silence sitting back on your heels just as Sophie did.

“Who’s test is it?!” Sophie exclaimed roughly running her hand over her face, “Holy shit.”

“Not mine.” Lu informed the group with a nervous smile on their face, “The last person I was with was Susan from Statistics.”

That left three people.

“Eliminate the options.” You breathed looking at Alice, “Wasn’t the last guy you were with a few weeks ago? Jas or something from-“

“Jasper from my Mythology course, but that was like four months ago! I’ve been swamped with classes and work.” Alice spoke with a small smile, “He was terrific. I should see if he’d like to grab a- “

“Not the time Alice!” Sophie screeched frantically looking around the room, “Oh my god, what about you?”

Sophie’s eyes came down on you with a pleading look in her eyes at this very sudden twist on her once innocent game. Your mind went over the last few months, but you were blanking at every opportunity.

“I can’t. Shit. I need to call Charlie.” You grumbled tapping the screen of the phone, “Alice, can you go grab a box of tests from the store? We used all of them.”

“-grab as many as possible!” Sophie cried, shaking in her slippers and cosy clothing. This was not how she had expected the night to go.

“I thought it was roomie night.” Charlie spoke as soon as the phone connected, “Something wrong?”

“When was the last night we had sex?” You inquired, leaving the man in Canada to choke on his beer.

In Vancouver sharing a beer with Owen with a film that had interested the pair playing Charlie hadn’t expected your call. Owen barely blinked at the interruption when the movie was fascinating, but he did turn when he heard Charlie choke.

“W-what?” Charlie coughed wiping his chin with the back of his hand, “Is this some weird part of a card game-“

“Charlie, when was the last time we had-“

“Jesus, I stayed the night before we left for the airport two months ago? We had a quickie in the bathroom at the airport as well.” Charlie scrunched his face recalling the lack of time he had been physical with you. His face turning red with Owen’s full attention on the flustered Canadian actor.

“Everything good?” Owen asked his best friend but only received a wave off.

“You sound scared. Is everything okay?” Charlie now demanded while your lips parted to ask if it was possible the condoms you used broke. The frantic breathing of Alice interrupted you, however.

Your e/c eyes found the pixie-haired girl leaned over, catching her breath with the box in her hands. Without thinking, your phone fell from your fingers as you lunged to the box with three tests. Alice had thought ahead and bought a box each for you and Sophie.

“Sophie’s waiting in the living room. Lu’s got her.” Alice softly told you both deaf to the two males on the phone, “I’ll be right here.”

“Thank you, Alice.” You choked marching into the bathroom, “If it’s me…I-“

 “If you’re the one pregnant, then this baby will be blessed if you decide to continue the pregnancy. If you don’t, I’m right here for you. If you’re not pregnant, we can do a couple shots.” Alice squeezed your hands unintentionally, sending Charlie into a frantic moment once more.

Your feet stopped suddenly remembering you hadn’t hung up the phone with Charlie, “Fuck.”

Alice, already reading the situation, tossed your phone to you with a smile as she sat on your bed. With a thankful one sent back, you entered the bathroom with your thumb, clicking the FaceTime button.

“This is the second time!” Charlie exclaimed scanning the background for one of your roommates, “I thought you weren’t pregnant!”

“So did I! Until one of four tests turned out positive, and now I have three more tests I need to pee on!” You exclaimed, “I jinxed us! I literally said how all of us are so good keeping up with preventative measures!”

“Apparently not as well.” Owen spoke, shoving his head over Charlie’s shoulder to see you with his kind smile, “Can you take three slow but deep breaths for me?”

With a few words coaching your breathing, you calmed down enough to mute the call and turn the phone to the ceiling for your privacy. Once the toilet was flushed, tests capped waiting on the counter, and your hands washed, you turned back to the call.

“What’re we gonna do Char?” You sobbed with a deep ache to be in his arms just as he felt the same, “We don’t live together! How can we do this!”

As Owen had led you through the calming breathing, Charlie had dug deep to calm down eternally for you. He found clarity even in the storm of being terrified and somewhat guilty, which he knew was misplaced.

“If you’re pregnant I’ll be there for you. No matter what, I will be there for you. If we keep the baby, we will rock parenting. We have friends and our family.” Charlie soothed you with his pretty hazel eyes glittering at you, “We’ve been together since we were eighteen. We’ve talked about marriage and kids.”

“Should I le-“

“You can stay.” You softly told Owen who squeezed Charlie’s shoulder while you sat in silence with Alice quietly sitting by your side.

Alice’s hand grabbed yours in comfort and support, waiting for the minutes to end and when they did you cried.

Separated in different countries you and Charlie took in the news that there was, in fact, a child on the way. Charlie’s lips parted in glee as he easily read the excitement in your facial expressions amid the fear.

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[lokiondisneyplus]

Natalie Holt's timeline was turned upside down last fall when she landed the highly-coveted composer gig for Marvel Studios' Loki series on Disney+.

"My agent got a general call-out looking for a composer on a Marvel project," she tells SYFY WIRE during a conversation over Zoom. "So, I didn’t know what it was. It was [described as] spacey and quite epic ... I sent in my show reel and then got an interview and got sent the script and then I realized what it was for. I was like, ‘Oh my god!’ It was amazing ... Loki was already one of my favorite characters, so I was really stoked to get to give him a theme and flesh him out in this way."

***WARNING! The following contains certain plot spoilers for the first four episodes of Loki!***

Imbued with glorious purpose, Holt knew the score had to match the show's gonzo premise about the Time Variance Authority, an organization that secretly watches over and manages every single timeline across the Marvel multiverse. The proposition of such an out-there sci-fi concept inspired the composer to bring in uniquely strange sounds, courtesy of synthesizers and a theremin.

"I got my friend, Charlie Draper, to play the theremin on my pitch that I had to do," she recalls. "They gave me a scene to score, which I’m sure they gave to loads of other composers. It was the Time Theater sequence in Episode 1. The bit from where he goes up the elevator and then into the Time Theater ... I just went to town on it and I wanted to impress them and win the job and put as many unusual sounds in there and make it as unique as possible."

The end result was a weird, borderline unnatural sound that wouldn't have felt out of place in a 1950s sci-fi B-movie about big-headed alien invaders. Rather than being turned off by Holt's avant garde ideas, Marvel Studios head honcho Kevin Feige embraced them, only giving the composer a single piece of feedback: "Push it further."

Holt admits that she was slightly influenced by Thor: Ragnarok ("I loved the score for it and everything"), which wasn't afraid to lean into the wild, Jack Kirby-created ideas floating around Marvel's cosmic locales. Director Taika Waititi's colorful and bombastic set pieces were perfectly complimented by an '80s-inspired score concocted by Devo co-founder, Mark Mothersbaugh.

"To be honest, I tried not to listen to it on its own," Holt says of the Ragnarok soundtrack. "I didn’t want to be too influenced by it. I watched the film a couple of times a few years ago, so yeah, I don’t think I was heavily referencing it. But I definitely had a memory of it in my mind."

After boarding Loki last September, Holt spent the next six months (mostly in lockdown) crafting a soundtrack that would perfectly reflect the titular god of mischief played by Tom Hiddleston. One of the first things she came up with was the project's main theme — a slightly foreboding cue that pays homage to the temporal nature of the TVA, as well as the main character's flair for the dramatic. "He always does things with a lot of panache and flair, and he’s very classical in his delivery."

She describes it as an "over-the-top grand theme with these ornate flourishes" that plays nicely with Loki's Shakespearean aura. "I wanted those ornaments and grand gestures in what I was doing. Then I also wanted to reflect that slightly analog world of the TVA where everything has lots of knobs and buttons ... [I wanted to] give it that slightly grainy, faded [and] vintage-y sci-fi sound as well."

"I just wanted it to feel like it had this might and weight — like there was something almost like a requiem about it," Holt continues. "These chords that are really powerful and strident and then they’ve got this blinking [sound] over the top. I just came up with that when I was walking down the street and I hummed it into my phone. There’s a video where you can just see up my nose and I’m humming [the theme]. I came home and I played it."

As a classically-trained musician, Holt drew on her love of Mahler, Dvořák, Beethoven, Mozart, and most importantly, Wagner. A rather fitting decision, given that an actual Valkyrie (played by Tessa Thompson) exists within the confines of the MCU.

"I would say those flourishes over the top of the Loki theme are very much Wagner," Holt says. "They’re like 'Ride of the Valkyries.’ I wanted people to kind of recall those big, classical, bombastic pieces and I wanted to give that weight to Loki’s character. That was very much a conscious decision to root it in classical harmony and classical writing ... There’s a touch of the divine to the TVA. It’s in charge of everything, so that’s why those big powerful chords [are there]. I wanted people almost to be knocked off their socks when they heard it."

With the main theme in place, Holt could then play around with it in different styles, depending on the show's different narrative needs. Two prime examples are on display in the very first episode during Miss Minutes' introductory video and the flashback that reveals Loki to be the elusive D.B. Cooper.

"What was really fun was [with] each episode, I got to pull it away and do a samba version of the theme or do a kind of ‘50s sci-fi version of the theme," she explains. "I can’t say other versions of the theme because they’re in Episode 5 and 6…or like when Mobius is pruned, I did this really heartfelt and very emotional [take on the theme] when you see Loki tearing up as he’s going down in slow motion down that corridor. It was cool to have the opportunity to try out so many different styles and genres. And it was big enough to take it all. It was a big enough story."

The other side of the story speaks to the old world grandeur of Loki's royal upbringing on Asgard, a city amongst the stars that eventually found its way into Norse mythology.

"I went to a concert in London three years ago and I heard these Norwegian musicians playing in this group called the Lodestar Trio," Holt recalls. "They do a take on Bach, where they’re kind of giving it a folk-y twist … [They use] a nyckelharpa and a Hardanger fiddle — they’re two historic Norwegian folk instruments. I just remembered that sound and I was like, ‘Oh, I have to use those guys in our score.’ It seemed like the perfect thing. I was like, ‘Yes, the North/Norwegian folk instruments.’ It just felt like it was the perfect thing for his mother and Asgard and his origins."

That folk-inspired sound also helped shape the music for Sylvie (played by Sophia Di Martino), a female variant of Loki with a rather tragic past. "Obviously, we’ve seen in Episode 4 what happened to her as a child," Holt says. "I just feel like she’s so dark. She’s basically grown up living in apocalypses, so she has that Norwegian folk violin sound, but her theme is incredibly dark and menacing and also, you don’t see her. She’s just this dark figure who’s murdering people for a while."

And then there were all the core members of the TVA to contend with. As Holt mentioned above, fans recently lost Agent Mobius (Owen Wilson), may he rest in prune. We mean peace. What? Too soon? During a recent interview with SYFY WIRE, Loki head writer Michael Waldron said that he based Mobius off of Tom Hanks's dogged FBI agent Carl Hanratty in 2002's Catch Me If You Can.

"There’s this thing that he loves jet ski magazines," Holt says. "I had this character in my head and then when I saw Owen Wilson’s performance, I was like, ‘Oh, he’s actually a lot lighter and he plays it in a different way from how I’d imagined.’ But I was listening to Bon Jovi and those slightly rock-y anthemic things. ‘90s rock music for some reason was my Mobius sound palette."

Mobius is pruned on the orders of his longtime friend, Ravonna Renslayer (Gugu Mbatha-Raw), after learning that everyone who works for the TVA is a variant who was unceremoniously plucked out of their original timelines. A high-ranking member of the quantum-based agency, Renslayer has a theme that "is quite tied in with Mobius and it’s like a high organ," Holt adds. "It doesn’t quite know where it’s going yet. But yeah, we’ll have to see what happens with that one."

Wilson's character isn't the only person fed up with the TVA's lies. Hunter B-15 (Wunmi Mosaku) also became disillusioned with the place and allowed Sylvie to escape in the most recent episode

"Hunter B-15 has this moment in Episode 4 where Sylvie shows her her past, her memories. I thought that was a really powerful moment for her," Holt says. I feel like she’s such a fighter and when she comes into the Time-Keepers and she makes that decision, like, ‘I’m switching sides,’ so her theme is more like a drum rhythm. I actually kind of sampled my voice and you can hear that with the drums. I did loads of layers of it, just like this horrible sliding sound with this driving rhythm underneath it. So, that was B-15 and then her softer side when she has her memory given back to her."

Speaking of the Time-Keepers, we finally got to meet the creators of the Sacred Timeline...or at least we thought we did. Loki and Sylvie are shocked to learn that the red-eyed guardians of reality are nothing but a trio of high-end animatronics (ones that could probably be taken out by a raging Nicolas Cage). Even before Sylvie manages to behead one of them, something definitely feels off with the Time-Keepers, which meant Holt could underscore the uncanny valley feeling in the score.

"When they walked in for their audience with the Time-Keepers, it was like this huge gravitas," she says. "But you look up and there’s something a bit wrong about them. I don’t know if you felt that or if you just totally believed. You were like, ‘Oh, this is so strange.’ I just felt like there was something a little bit off and musically, it was fun to play around with that."

Holt is only the second solo female composer to work on an MCU project, following in the footsteps of Captain Marvel's Pinar Toprak. Her involvement with Loki represents the studio's growing commitment to diversity, both in front of and behind the camera. This Friday will see the wide release of Black Widow, the first Marvel film to be helmed solely by a woman (Cate Shortland). Four months after that, Chloé Zhao's Eternals will introduce the MCU's first openly gay character into the MCU.

"I just feel like it’s an honor and a privilege to have had that chance to be the second woman to score a thing in the MCU and to be in the same league as those incredible composers like Mothersbaugh and Alan Silvestri. They're just legends," Holt says. "Another distinctive thing about [the show] is that all the heads of department are pretty much women. Marvel are showing themselves to be really progressive and supportive and encouraging. I applaud [them]. Whatever they’re doing seems to be working and people seem to be liking it as well, so that’s awesome."

Holt's score for Vol. 1 of Loki (aka Episodes 1-3) are now streaming on every music-based platform you could think of. Episodes 1-4 are available to watch on Disney+ for subscribers. Episode 5 (the show's penultimate installment) debuts on the platform this coming Wednesday, July 7.

Natalie isn't able to give up any plot spoilers for the next two episodes (no surprise there), but does tease "the use of a big choir" in one of them. "Episode 6, I’m excited for people to hear it," she concludes. "That’s all I can say."

[undyingskies]

How About No

request: yes;

“Okay so I had a dream last night and i thought that it could make a cute fanfic, so basically the reader is dating Owen (reader is also an actress in JATP) and she has a scene with Charlie where they have to kiss and Owen just gets like super protective and kinda self conscious (which obviously he shouldn’t hes a king) and it’s just like super fluff hehe”

a/n: This was longer than I expected to be and it took me a while to figure out how I wanted it to end, but I think I like it! Hope you enjoy!

Also, my requests are closed for the time being! I have my inbox open so I can still talk to everyone but as of right now please don’t send in requests!

warnings: none

tagged:  @mah-gah-lee

———————————-

Today was the day.

The day finally came for your big scene, one that you were nervous and excited about all at the same time. You even tried to avoid it. It was a weird mix of emotions that you couldn’t quite explain.

You sat in the hair and makeup chair, trying to calm your nervous thoughts down. Julie and The Phantoms was your first real show that you booked, and this was your biggest scene of the season.

A warm hands placing itself on top of your smaller, shaking ones pulls you from your thoughts. It also causes you to jump at the contact as you were so far from reality at that moment.

A chuckle leaves the lips from the same person who owns the hand that was on top of yours.

You turn to look at the blue eyes that were staring back at you. You were met  with the kind smile of your boyfriend; he was well aware of the nerves that were plaguing you.

“It’s going to be okay Y/N, you’ve got this!” He smiles at you, “Besides if you fail, I will only love you a little less.”

Your mouth drops at your boyfriend’s words. You’re quick to pull your hands from his and lean over to deliver a slap to his chest.

“Owen!” You yell shocked at his words.

The two of you laugh together.

“Seriously though Y/N, you’re going to be great!” You smile at your boyfriend’s kind words, nodding your head along with him.

As much as you wanted to believe his words, the nervous thoughts were still prominent in your mind.

Owen sits with you in silence, your hand in his, as the team finishes putting you together to look like your character.

Season two of Julie and The Phantoms came and they decided that they wanted to add a female ghost into the mix.

And that is how you got here; your character was Tatum Lanning. Your character was supposed to be the antagonist for Charlie’s character Luke.

Tatum had died when she turned 17 as well, but she didn’t know why. Her goal was to try to figure out what happened and in searching she somehow became entangled with Julie and the boys.

Tatum was rough around the edges; she was a tough girl due to trauma that she endured in her life. She had a nose piercing and was covered in a few tattoo’s. She had died around the same time the boys did so her style was similar to theirs.

The only problem with Tatum was the fact that her and Luke did not get along, for the fact that they both are very similar and are dealing with the fact of having issues with their parents when they were alive.

“Y/N, you’re ready to go!” Soyon pulls you from your thoughts.

You can feel your nerves kick up again. This was just your first real scene with such raw emotion that you feared you wouldn’t be able to pull it off.

“I’m nervous O.” You grab his hand letting him lead you to Julie’s garage where your scene takes place for today.

“It’s gonna be okay Y/N! We’ve gone over this scene so many times, plus you and Charlie have practiced it a lot! You crushed it every time and today won’t be any different.”

Owen finishes his pep talk as you reach the set. He turns to face you at the end of it so that you’re facing one another, the look in his eyes instantly calming you down.

You may be nervous but you trust the words coming out of Owen’s mouth. You’ve got this, you’ve been practicing this scene for months; you could do it in your sleep by this point.

“You’re right, I’ve got this.” You smile and lean up to press a kiss to Owen’s lips.

You pull away when you hear Kenny’s voice and his footsteps coming towards you.

“Y/N! Quick change!” Kenny pauses as he stops in front of you and Owen and looks at the two of you with an awkward smile, “So we decided that we want Tatum and Luke to kiss scene.”

“How about no?” Owen’s words shocking both you and Kenny. Neither of you expected Owen to talk back, yet alone with an outburst like that.

Your eyes fling back in forth between Owen and Kenny. You can see the discomfort in Owen’s eyes but can tell he is trying to hide it. He didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“I am sorry, that was not on purpose.” Kenny gives him a side eye but laughs knowing Owen didn’t mean any harm and that it was just as much as surprise for him that he said it as it was for everyone else. “Anyways there will be a kissing scene today!” Kenny says.

“Oh okay.” You practically choke out.

“I know it’s a surprise but,” again he trails off looking at you and Owen, “ we think it’s best for the dynamic of the character’s relationship!  We want you to do the scene just how we practiced but at the end we want the kiss to occur, but we’re gonna let you and Charlie take the lead on it! Do what you feel is best!”

“Got it Kenny!” You smile at him trying to hide your own discomfort. First of all you have never kissed anyone for a scene, let alone your boyfriend’s best friend.

You turn to face back to Owen, an awkward smile graced upon both of your lips. The two of you just stand there in an awkward silence.

“So,” Owen is the first to break the silence, “that’s a curve ball.”

“Ya it is.” You can tell Owen is uncomfortable but you don’t know how to fix the situation. It’s not like you could stop the scene from occurring. “You trust me right O?”

“Of course I do, you know that.”

“Then we’ve got nothing to worry! This scene maybe a little awkward now for us but it’s just a scene.” You tell him, trying to convince the both of you that it would be fine and not as weird as you know it is.

“I know, it’s just a scene, you’re right.” He leans down to give you another kiss. “Go crush it killer, you’ve got this!”

You then turn on your heel, to go walk into the middle the garage where your scene will be starting. Charlie is already there talking to a few of the crew mates, they disperse when you walk up to them.

Charlie turns to look at you with a smile on his face. “So? They told you about the change for the scene.” He asks you.

“That they did.” You smile back awkwardly.

“Does Owen know?”

“That he does!” The two of you just stand there silently. “It’s gonna be fine, it’s just a scene and we’re both professionals so is Owen!” You say trying to convince the both of you that it’s fine.

“You’re right Y/N, we’ve got this!” Charlie is cut off before he can continue by Kenny yelling at everyone to get in places to start the scene.

The two of you step back from each other, getting ready to act your hearts out.

“And action!”

“I just don’t understand why you always have to be here Tatum!” Charlie yells as Luke, his brows furrowed and a pout on his face.

“Just because you don’t like having me around Luke doesn’t mean I can’t be around. Besides Julie asked me to come over, she said she had something for me.” You say nonchalantly as you throw your body onto the couch.

Leaving Luke standing by himself next to the piano. The pout on his face still evident.

“I just don’t get why they think you’re so great.” Luke turns to face you, a smirk now replacing the pout, “you’re actually quite annoying.”

You roll your eyes at his words, knowing that he wanted to rile you up.

“Whatever Patterson, you’re just upset they like me and want me around despite you thinking otherwise! You just don’t like that they don’t listen to your every word now.”

Tatum knows how to get under Luke’s skin, the same way he knows how to get under hers.

You could see the anger fuming from his face. Everyone knew Luke liked to take the lead on things, but he didn’t like having it pointed out. For whatever reason.

“Just shut it Lanning, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Again you roll your eyes at his words.

“I know exactly what I’m talking about,” you’re shoving yourself up from the couch and walking closer to Luke, “You’re just upset that King Luke isn’t being listened too. Well news flash you’re not in charge of everything and everyone!”

It seems like a silly argument but it gets under both of your skin. Luke and Julie had gotten in an argument a few weeks ago, Julie had pointed that Luke had a power issue that he needed to work on. So since then, Luke has been hyper cautious of sharing the power between everyone.

“You’re wrong Lanning,” now Luke has closed the gap between you two and is getting in your face, “I don’t like you here because I find you annoying. I think you’re overbearing and overstep your boundaries!”

“Funny, I think the same thing about you! You just don’t like that your friends like me and come to me with their issues before they go to you or the fact that they don’t listen to you about me!”

“That’s not true! They just feel bad for you and all your issues!”

“I could say the same thing about you Patterson with your mommy issues.”

Now the two of you are chest to chest, both of you heaving as the fight has taken the breath out of both of you. You can see the anger evident on Luke’s and can only assume it was evident on your face as well.

The silence laying over the two of you like a dark cloud. Then the next thing you know, Luke has his hand on the back of your neck and is crashing his lips into yours.

Your lips interlocked for a few seconds, as they move together and the two of you pour your emotions into the kiss.

Then you’re pulling away from him and taking a step back. Both of you looking at each other bewildered. Your hand moves up to trace your lips, the feeling of his still lingering on them. Then you poof out before either of you could say another word.

“And cut!” Kenny is clapping his hands at the scene that just unfolded in front of him, “That was amazing you two, great job!”

You smile at his words, grateful that you finally got this scene over and that you were able to make your way through it.

You look around trying to find Owen but you can’t seem to find his blonde hair anywhere in the crowd.

“Do you see Owen?” You whisper at Charlie, hoping that he had eyes on your boyfriend.

“No, I don’t.”

You can feel your heart tug at his words. Owen said he would be there for you and this scene, so not having him there upsets you.

“Go find him.”

That’s all it takes for you to speed walk off the set and go looking for Owen. You didn’t know where to look for him, but if he wasn’t around the common area you assumed, he was in his trailer.

You were right.

You slowly open the door and peek your head around it, hoping to see your boyfriend.

You see the top of his blonde hair hanging off the couch.

“Owen?” You make your way into the trailer; you were just greeted by a grunt coming for your boyfriend who had his face buried into the couch.

“O?” Again you ask, sitting on the end of the couch, rubbing your hand up and down his back. “Why did you leave back there?”

Owen stays lying face down for a few more seconds, letting your rub your hand on his back longer before he rolls over to face you.

He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at you.

“Why so you think I left?” The tone of his voice shocking you especially at how short he was about it.

You just look back at him, confused.

“It’s actually just my favorite thing getting to watch my best friend make out with my girlfriend! Sorry I didn’t want to see it last any longer.” Owen cuts you off before you can even say anything else. He also has himself up and, on his feet, so he in front of you, yelling now.

You’re shocked, you two talked before it happened, granted it wasn’t a long talk but you thought it was enough.

“I’m sorry O, I know that couldn’t have been fun but I thought our conversation before helped.” Owen’s eyes soften at your words, he wasn’t mad at you and he didn’t mean to take it out on you.

He moves to sit next to you on the couch, a little calmer now that he has you in front of him instead of him left alone with his intrusive thoughts.

With a huff and a hand moving through his hair, Owen goes to speak, ‘I know, I know. I’m sorry love, it’s not your fault and you’re right we did talk about it before. I trust you and Charlie completely and know it was nothing but professional.”

You move closer to him, taking his hand in yours. This gets him to look up at you, finally looking you in the eyes. “Then what is it?” You still don’t understand his outburst.

“It’s just…” He trails off, embarrassed of the words that were about to leave him, “the fans already ship Luke and Tatum from the teasers, so they’re starting to make comments about how you guys would look good together so it’s just hard to see.”

Your eyes widen at his words not expecting his confession. “Plus everyone already talks about how attractive Charlie is, it just makes me insecure.”

Your heart breaks slightly as his words, you lean in closer to Owen and put your hand behind his neck not letting him look anywhere but you. “Owen Patrick Joyner, you are without a doubt the most handsome man I have ever laid my eyes on! Every day I look at you and just wonder how lucky I am that I somehow got you!”

Owen doesn’t say a word, he just presses his lips against yours. You enjoy the feeling of his lips on yours.

You’re the one to pull apart, “Besides O, they don’t know we’re dating, I bet if they did things would be different.” You wiggle your eyebrows at your words,  causing Owen to laugh.

“That is a fair point.”  He says.

“I’m glad you agree because  I think so too!” You laugh and press your lips against his again. The feeling of his lips was one you would never get tired of.

“Does that mean we’re going public?” He asks while placing kisses all across your face, making you laugh.

“I think it does Joyner, I think it does.”

The two of you spend the next few minutes looking through your photos trying to figure out which one to post. You finally land on a picture Charlie had taken of the two of you one day, Owen was sitting on their counter and has his arms wrapped around you while you were between his two legs. You were leaning up for a kiss and Owen was laughing, it was one of your favorite photos.

You posted it on your story, tagging him and with the caption surprise. Owen then shared it to his own story with hearts added onto it.

Both of your dm’s were quickly flooded by fans with their congratulations and excitement. One particularly stood out to Owen, it read “I told everyone, you guys were end game it was never Y/N and Charlie.” A smile makes its way onto his face.

“See I told you that they would like us together.” You look over his shoulder and up at him smiling.

“I guess you’re right.”

The two of you lean in and meet in the middle for a passionate kiss, the both of you were happy to finally be able to be public with your relationship. All of Owen’s insecurities fading away too, happy that he had his girl who loved him so much.

[cosmicanger]

yea winter and Johnny Depp are very similar, they both take their stylings from how homeless people layer (most non-Black fashion is literally make an object pulled from the poor Black experience but pricing it where most poor Black people could never afford it, “luxury” is just anti-Black classism) and both do DARVO when someone with less power than them tries to hold them accountable.

I do not have the power to “cancel” winter in anyway so I do not understand pinning me as the violent one when I cant do anything to winter. winter and followers have “cancelled” me with the power winter has through social capital. winter and the abuse by proxy is violent. also why we acting like I called an actual proBlack person a c**n like winter has the fucking Beatles as his header like y’all acting like Im coming for Rick Owens Malcolm X when winter barely know any theory and Malcom X wouldve called winter a c**n too and Malcolm X was calling Jackie Robinson a c**n like and Malcolm X aint even the most the radical Black person from that era like 🛑 stahp (also this is a prime example how Twitter is slightly more “progressive” than Tumblr cause calling a violent Black cis man a c**n wouldnt be dragged for this long 🤣) like he couldve just taken the initial crit a while back and got over it but i bruised winter’s ego so winter continues to enable violence onto me that I cannot do onto winter or would need to cause I can fight my own battles, winter hiding behind a block and using Black MaGes he tokenizes as shields, disgusting.

this is gone too far and everyone sees all of this even if they don’t like my posts or winter’s cryptic shade he throwing at me. people see what has been happening on both sides so yea anyone enabling winter in any way at this point aint shit to me. people are afraid to be vocal about winter cause they see what is happening to me for so long. like im not the only Black person who dont fuck w winter, like goddamn. i dont wish this bullshit on any Black person who actually isnt a non-Black apologist.

the other thing, i admitted have a slightly above beginner knowledge of fashion history. I like fashion a lot more now cause I can sew but I more deep dive into theory and art. So my slightly above level fashion history I know can keep up with winter and other platformed microcelebs on here but none of come even close to me when it comes to art, craft, film, theory so again none of this shit is merit based.

people gain social capital by enacting anti-Blackness, enabling anti-Blackness indirectly or centering non-Black content/non-Black content creators. In this global anti-Black world, power can come from social capital. like if I did not need to post non-Black content to get likes to gain social capital to use to b00st Black f*nding on here, i would only post Black content. And you say, oh some blogs only post Black content. yes but the actually pro-Black ones dont have a lot of social capital to use because they are also “cancelled” for calling out the anti-Blackness on here and the radical chic/neoliberal ones or the very conservative ones are the most popular.

it is not “cool” to try to materially help Black “publicly” online and no one wants to admit that aloud, that’s why they only share Black f*nding when it won’t affect their social capital much. everyone knows if you post Black f*nding often, the algorithm fl*gs your account and brings traffic down on your account, which in turn affects your social capital. like ppl truly do not care that Black f*nding is life or death. yes a like can materially affect ppl, Black or non-Black. posting non-Black designer & non-Black art is more important than tryna materially support poor Black ppl everyday? like it’s not much labor for some of y’all to copy paste a link or text. yea Tumblr is a sea of anti-Blackness and abuse apologism.

this bs w winter could be settled easily but winter has too much hubris. the reason winter and others get more likes for posting the same thing as me is because winter and others have a lot of power for being anti-Black and a lot of anti-Black non-Black followers. I will continue to run a blog that is better than all of the ppl who hate me on here combined. 9 out of 10 ppl on Tumblr are very anti-Black.

[reginaofdoctorwho]

ok so i started this as a draft days ago and barely remember where i was going with this idea but i tried to fill it out a little more. basically it’s just that anytime Curt says he misses being a spy he misses being a spy with Owen or the spy he was with Owen. so probably everything is what everyone knows already

Curt ties being a spy with Owen. completely, intrinsically, whatever, okay?? in Spy Again Curt says “Owen would want me to do this”, and lists

hop in a jet and fly again

grow a spine again

do my best not to cry again

wear a suit and tie again

drink martinis and drive again

get by again

feel like a real important guy again

as what he’s going to do as a spy. let’s check off what happens before Owen’s reveal (i’m trying to include some)

hop in a jet and fly again

grow a spine again

do my best not to cry again (i’m trying to be nice here he’s probably doing his best despite what happens)

wear a suit and tie again (literally part of the mission)

drink martinis and drive again (he’s sobering up)

get by again (barely my dude)

feel like a real important guy again

which, decent, but our dude is also having gay flashbacks, messing up a very simple and clear mission, and mistakes flirting for fighting (to quote my friend “Amelie” “he’s,,, so bad at pretending to be straight”) this all being with him having been one of the greatest spies, to the point of recognition years after he retired.

and post Owen’s reveal

hop in a jet and fly again (we’re going to count whatever that in

grow a spine again

do my best not to cry again

wear a suit and tie again (i mean he doesn’t need it??)

drink martinis and drive again (ok i don’t know maybe?? he does shots before and THEN chases Owen and then he’s drinking whiskey when he meets with Tatiana)

get by again

feel like a real important guy again (look at him at the end

more below the cut because this is already long and it’s going to be even longer

Okay, to be more in depth, (this’ll sound like a lot of my other posts) at the beginning Curt Mega is truly a great spy. yes, he was captured by Oleg, but the entire interaction with him Curt is still in control. he mocks Oleg, breaks his fingers, hits the bat back at him, all while holding a conversation (and flirting) with Owen. he’s confident the entire time, he’s willing to go against plans and is overconfident to a fault. While Cynthia is somewhat rude and pays more attention to Owen in the beginning (”finally someone who knows what the hell they’re doing!”) but i think she’d treat him the same as Curt if he ever did decide to work for her. it’s partially a “bring in new talent” and partially a “keep the old talent from being overconfident” thing. i don’t think it’s an actual mark on what pre-fall Curt was like as an agent. but either way, their record was six minutes to get out of a building presumably set to explode (or implode. fuck if i know) and they were still both confident and eager to lower the time even more. and they would have accomplished it, if not for Owen falling. what i’m saying is pre-canon Curt was a very effective agent, was good at his job, and was likely almost never out of his depth.

in Spy Again, he’s talking about becoming a spy again, but he links this to Owen, believing that being a spy again would enable him to work past Owen’s death (”but maybe this time’ll be different, it might be what I need”). he’s haunted by the “memories” not “memory”, which could be taken as any time he and Owen worked together, not just when he died. he wants to be a spy, but even stating that and the things he misses about being a spy (above lists) starts to remind him of Owen (”and i know just where i’m goin’, me and my partner Owen!”). he sees himself post-fall, with his beard, alcoholism, and trying and failing to improve (”i do what i can, try to make a plan, to be a better man, but nothing seems to stick”) and again relates it to Owen (”Owen please, if you could see what’s become of me, what would you think?”). Curt decides Owen would want him to be a spy again (”i once was a spy. i think you’d want me to spy again”) and repeats it to make it stick (”Owen would want me to do this”), and that is what truly starts him off again. or so it would seem.

in his first mission back, Curt can’t start again. he has to talk himself into doing his job again (”looks like that someone has to be me. you came here to do this, so do the job, stop acting like a little pussy”), and then mostly rides along on what Tatiana does anyway (”i second that motion!) a far cry from the beginning Curt who did his job eagerly. and we are again reminded that Curt was a great spy when Sergio recognizes Curt on sight and says “is that Agent Curt Mega? ... i can’t believe this, the most famous spy in the world busting my arms deal. hey, would you mind signing something...” followed by DMA immediately being able to disarm Curt with ease, showing the contrast. Curt does recognize the baked goods are the way to hurt Sergio, but also loses the bomb to Tatiana

Curt is, at this point, still waiting [in a way] for a partner. it is not implied in the beginning that he and Owen worked together every mission, rather the opposite in fact (“MI6 didn’t tell me you were on this mission”), but he still seems to almost expect a partner, and goes off what Tatiana says even though they’re not working together, and they both train their weapons on the baked goods.

Cynthia points out that he’s been on an early retirement for four years, which Curt is very quick to correct as a grieving period. his hands shake during Cynthia’s drill, he fumbles the gun, and he has none of the grace or style of the beginning. when Cynthia mentions Owen and Curt’s alcoholism (”i remember when i got the call that Owen died and you lived, i screamed into Susan’s neck for fifteen seconds, then i locked it up and moved on. you on the other hand, you drank yourself to rock bottom...”) Curt doesn’t even look at her. when she poisons him, he’s still able to repeat back (in essence) what she said, showing that the spy of the past is still there, deep down.

Eyes on the Prize II is the (i think) first time we see Gay Flashback-Owen. he is notably not slipping and dying, as would likely be going through Curt’s head if he were haunted by that specific memory alone (going back to the “haunted by any memory of Owen”) thing i mentioned, but is instead also saying “keep your eyes on the prize” with the ensemble, again lining up Owen with Curt’s idea of being a spy.

during the casino scene Curt is clumsy with his acting, and is trying to get information from Tatiana (it’s all very awkward. “make it a white russian, hold the vodka, please, thank you so much” “excellent choice. one vodka martini bone dry, and one glass of cream”), but as soon as another person joins it (Dick Big), the relationship between them turns from enemies trying to get information from the other to an uneasy team (”i’m hardly alone, the woman and i were just about to-”), with Curt even giving a russian toast, and although Tatiana definitely notices when Curt is given a gun by the dealer, she politely declines to mention it, and when Curt offers her his arm while Dick is off finding a waiter, she smiles. and while it could be argued that it is just them working undercover, this did feel more genuine than when they are alone and back in their assumed positions (”besides, without that horrible face fungus, what will i have to yank?” “we are talking about fighting, right?”) Tatiana also recognizes that Curt is alone in more ways than one, both without backup and without anyone he can trust fully. in the short time they’ve been together, they already are close enough to friends that Tati apologizes for bringing him to DMA

despite the two of them being on opposite sides during this encounter, they are already beginning to act as partners/friends, and Curt takes her betrayal more personally than he should have

i’d also like to take this moment to point out that DMA almost instinctively stabs the Nazi henchman for saying “seems his noggin’s a bit dense!” of Curt

during Torture Tango, it seems like he’s having a natural reaction to getting tortured. Curt is nervous, he’s afraid, he’s ready to die (”you sick bastard, why don’t you just kill me already?”/”i can’t deny that i’m gonna die”). but this is NOT how the torture scene at the beginning went, even before he knew Owen was there. at the beginning scene Curt is arrogant, throwing Oleg’s words back at him, breaking his fingers, keeping a cool tone and staying in control the whole time. this time he barely talks to the DMA, he doesn’t fight back, he just accepts it. also, he sings “i once was a spy but i won’t be a spy again” and “thought i could say goodbye, but i can’t lie i wanna be a spy again” despite the fact that he is a spy again. he says he wants to be a spy again, but he already is a spy again, what he’s missing is Owen. he was once a spy with a partner he loved and could trust completely, and the partner felt the same way about him. that is what i believe enabled him to be such a good spy, he had someone who knew everything about him, being gay included, and he was able to act more confidently as a result. what he misses is less of the “go get the girl and go save the world” and more seeing his partner even for short periods and having the confidence that comes from being known. also, curt is on the verge of death and is still thinking of Owen (”doesn’t even matter if i killed my best friend”)

back to Tatiana, who’s having her own crisis. “is Mega my enemy do i let him die? i’ve got to think about my family ‘cause no one’s looking out for me...” she, at this point, has not interacted with Curt beyond the arms deal, the casino, and betraying him to von Nazi and DMA. despite this she still sees him as a possible ally, and ultimately does decide to betray von Nazi and DMA for him (to his understandable confusion). when she unties him, he only calms down when she holds her arm out to him, but he becomes so distracted by it and Gay Flashback-Owen that he doesn’t notice DMA is waking up until he’s already been shot.  i’d also like to point out that Gay Flashback-Owen is doing the same arm out pose Tatiana is doing while holding Curt’s arm

end of act 1. can i get a wahoo?

when Curt is with Barb, he acknowledges that he’s fucked things up, but still catches himself on saying he is a [great] spy again ”i was, i am, supposed to be the best”

i think during the gala he is trying to be the Curt from the past while ignoring why he was that way. he insists on going rogue, he confidently (and foolishly) announces that he is a spy, the prince will be assassinated, and that the Russians and Americans know, despite the fact that it doesn’t seem like a good idea if thought about at all. With blowing up the facility at the beginning there was some merit to it. they had been seen, they stole the plans and possibly wished to muddle why they were there, the facility might have had more plans they didn’t know about and they were already on a time limit. they also had a limit on the tech items they had (no rocket shoes :’( ).

when Tatiana rescues him again and takes him to his mother’s safe house, who mentions a “constant parade of drinking buddies, for poker or wrestling or whatever you boys do in the rumpus room” and while we could make an argument about Curt trying to move on after the fall, i think this youtube comment on the video is a fucking treasure and i will forever remember it.

i’d also like to point out now that Tatiana is truly the only character that i believe could “replace” Owen for Curt. he needs someone in his life who can know even the parts he hides from those closest to him, someone on equal footing with him, someone who doesn’t idolize him, and someone who works well with him. he can’t tell his mother, because she wants grandchildren, she wants a daughter-in-law, she wants to plan a wedding. it can’t be Cynthia, she’s his boss, it’s set during the Lavender Scare when he could lose his job for being gay. it can’t be Barb, who has an intense crush on him, and even when she does act in a platonic way, she is willing to risk her job based on the fact that it’s him (in an almost awestruck way). Tatiana is unimpressed with Curt when they first meet, they become friends quickly, work together to stop von Nazi and DMA, they are both spies at the top of the field, and she accepts him (”you’re cool with me?” “till the end!” “cool :)”). also, i think it’s interesting that Tatiana believes she is saving someone (her family) by leaving them behind, while Curt believed he killed someone (Owen his lover) by leaving them behind. just kinda parallels i think

before Doing This, Curt says he is is afraid that “[he’ll] never be the spy [he] once was” and that he believes he shouldn’t need anyone else. when Tatiana says he’ll get everyone who cares about him killed with his line of thinking he says the line “i already have.” explains about Owen, and adds “and that was back when I was the old Curt”.

during One More Shot, Curt acknowledges that he tried to get past missing Owen by trying not to need anyone else, which was wrong (“i used to think i could do this by myself i was fine, i didn't need any help“). this is him starting to take his friendship with Tati and being able to use it to see that while he cannot work alone, he doesn’t need one specific person to make him the man he is.

this of course promptly goes out the window when DMA is revealed to be Owen

however, Curt still calls Tatiana “partner” before going after Owen.

when he does go after Owen (One Step Ahead), he still thinks of Owen as the man from 1957 (”what happened to the man i knew?”). when Owen begins to explain, Curt tries to remind him of what they did “together. two of the greatest spies to ever live”. once again associating him and Owen together with being a spy

also, once Owen is dead (idk if i hope for real or not) again, Curt does make a change for the better. he’s able to be fairly confident around Cynthia, he tries to be enthusiastic about Barb’s tech/data analysis merge, he is able to talk about his “ex lover returned from the grave” with Tatiana. i do find it interesting though that he does not tell her about the other facilities, again taking it upon himself to fix it, and only telling her “give me a ring if you’re ever stateside”.

in a final moment, Curt is able to move on from Owen, and acknowledge “i once was a spy, i’ll always be a spy” with or without Owen.

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X15

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Wow! A lot happened in this episode. It was billed as Jackson’s goodbye episode, but it turned out to be so much more than that. Meredith got discharged and was reunited with her kids, Tom decided to move to Boston to work for Jackson, and we got the show’s first Indigenous doctor and patient storyline! I honestly think Jackson’s farewell was really well done! While it’s true he could do the work he wants to do just as easily from Seattle everything else about his exit makes sense to me. He’s tired of sitting on the sidelines and he wants to make real change where he can.

I loved his conversation with Meredith and how he was the one to sneak her out. I loved Meredith's voice over for this episode and how it followed Jackson's actions and the flashback montage set to music. I thought it was fitting. I would have liked him to have said goodbye to Ben because they were the Plastics Posse until he left to become a firefighter but apart from that I was happy with it. The character has come such a long way during his run on the show and I feel like this episode reflected that.

The editing was really well done too. Especially the shot of him overlooking the lobby. That transition was seamless. I loved his goodbye scene with Meredith. It made me so emotional. I love that Meredith tried to lighten the mood by making a joke about how she won because she's the last one standing. That scene when she hugged the pillow after he left because she misses him and everyone else really got me. I also really liked the conversation he had with Bailey and Richard.

I'm glad he said a proper goodbye to Jo although I didn't find it super emotional. In addition to Ben, I would also like to have seen a goodbye with Maggie. I'm surprised they didn't do that. Maggie was so focused on Meredith's recovery that it's not clear if she even knows that Jackson is moving to Boston. They also could have done a big emotional scene with Catherine. On a lighter note, I am so happy that Meredith is doing better for real this time and has been discharged! I've been waiting for this since the mid-season point.

I loved the scene where she was reunited with her kids and Amelia was panicking about the state of the house and Meredith told her it was fine and that was just how she liked it. Meredith getting Jackson to sneak her out of the hospital felt very in character to me. As her voice over says Meredith isn't one for tradition or big hullabaloos which is why I think the others tried to keep it a secret. I'm not surprised that she ducked out early. While I get why the other characters wanted to do a big send off for her, I feel like they should know by now that's not her style.  

I loved the scene where Amelia and Link found out Meredith might be coming home, and they hugged and then Link said he had to go to work and Amelia started crying and then asked why he was still there. Link was so confused and then Amelia told him she’d be crying off and on like that all day to get her emotions out and that she’d be fine and he needed to go to work. That is so Amelia! But in a good way. Post-tumour and with her addiction under control even in a pandemic Amelia is now able to express her emotions in a healthy way so she doesn’t relapse or spin out of control. That is such huge growth for her. I loved the scene at the end with her and Meredith.

The smile that they share. The look between them. You could see early seasons Private Practice Amelia in that look but also mature and stable new Amelia. I loved that Amelia was all worried about the state of the house and Meredith was fine with it being a mess because as a working Mom she knows what it’s like and all she wanted was to be at home with her kids in her messy house.

At the end of the episode we find out that Tom’s near death experience with COVID has caused him to re-evaluate his life. He feels lucky to have lived to have been spared and he wants to help Jackson make real change in Boston. On the one hand I was surprised by Tom’s exit, but on the other hand I wasn’t. I love Tom and will truly miss his character, but ever since the affair came out and he and Teddy split and she started working on trying to repair her relationship with Owen, Tom hasn't had a lot to do.

I'm sad they didn't do more with him because he's such a great and complex character and I know some people had speculated they might pair him up with Mama Ortiz which could have been interesting. I'm sad we didn't get to see him say goodbye to Amelia, Link, Teddy, Catherine, or Meredith. Tom and Amelia are old friends, he trained her, he took out her brain tumour, and she rushed to the hospital when she heard he had been admitted for COVID-19.

Tom and Link seemed to be getting along as of late and Tom was ready to be a father to Teddy's baby before she got back together with Owen. He found her the perfect apartment and he built a crib for a child that wasn’t biologically his that he was so excited to meet and be a Dad to. All this after his own son died and his marriage collapsed as a result. He treated her like gold and she’s done nothing but treat him horribly for no reason. I don't think I’ll ever forgive Teddy for that.

Catherine and Tom are also old friends that go back even farther. She appointed him as Chief Medical Officer of the Fox Foundation. She told him about DeLuca’s death and took him to the Memorial. When Richard was sick, she told him she wanted him to take over the Foundation in her absence. Tom and Meredith had such an emotional scene earlier this season and he's been praying for her every day. Does she know that? Does Meredith know that Tom has been praying for her and worrying about her? I was expecting a follow up scene to that, so I hope we get one.

I found the patient storyline that Tom, Levi, and Indigenous intern James Chee had really moving. Grey's has never had an Indigenous patient or doctor on the show before and while the dialogue did feel heavy handed at times, they brought some really important issues to light and were trying to make up for lost time so that’s understandable.  

Robert I. Mesa who plays Dr. Chee is Navajo Soboba and the patients that they treat at Coast Salish whose traditional territory encompasses the province of British Columbia, Canada and the states of Washington and Oregon in the United States. It’s really great to see an Indigenous actor bring stories about Indigenous characters to life in a realistic way for the same reason that it’s important to see black, brown, Asian, latinx, and LGBTQ+ actors bring stories about characters like themselves to life. It brings authenticity and ensures sure that white straight cisgender people aren’t taking roles away from people within those communities.

When I found out through Twitter that the show had cast its first Indigenous doctor, I was very excited. I work for an Indigenous organization currently and so Indigenous representation is an issue that is very near and dear to my heart. The first thing that came to mind for me was the Coast Salish artwork you see in the background of so many scenes of the show. From the show’s earliest seasons, you can see beautiful art pieces in red, blue, and black depicting fish, birds, and other animals on the walls of the hospital and in people’s offices.

Yet it is never addressed or mentioned that that is Coast Salish artwork. In order for it to be there someone from the art department must have travelled to Seattle to buy some local artwork to put up around the hospital. While that’s great for making the hospital look authentic to the area by not mentioning its origins or the fact that Indigenous people exist for 16 seasons does all Indigenous people a disservice. Indigenous people are not stereotypes or tokens or simply makers of pretty pictures.

Every group has their own culture, artwork, language, and traditions. I’m glad that Grey’s Anatomy is finally acknowledging the existence of Indigenous Americans and the fact that Indigenous people exist and continue to exist despite repeated ruthless attempts to murder and assimilate them. This is a huge problem in the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and other nations. While in the last few years Indigenous issues have gotten greater coverage in Canadian media there isn’t as much media coverage of Indigenous issues in the United States.

I love that Tom and Levi treated both the pregnant woman and her grandfather with respect and dignity and didn't dismiss their concerns or mock their traditions. I love that Tom actually had some knowledge of smudging ceremonies and that he referred to Dr. Chee respectfully when needed and allowed him to perform a smudging ceremony for the grandfather. When the pregnant patient’s husband thanks them and says that in the past they haven’t had great experiences in big hospitals that is unfortunately a sad reality for many.

Like other people of people and other marginalized and oppressed groups the concerns of Indigenous patients are often not taken seriously, and they often encounter racism that leads to poorer treatment and death. When the pregnant patient talks about how their centres are under resourced and that they were sent body bags instead of medical supplies that is a real thing. The Trump Administration actually did that in the States and the Harper Government here in Canada did that during the H1N1 Epidemic.

Thankfully, here in Canada the COVID-19 Pandemic response of the Trudeau Government has been worlds better. No sending of body bags and instead medical supplies and lots of relief money has been given to Indigenous organizations like mine to help real people. Indigenous Canadians have also been given priority status for vaccinations and as a result people are alive today that would have died previously. Now that’s not to say things are perfect here. There are still so many issues that need to be addressed including police violence, discrimination within the justice system, and the rate of missing and murdered Indigenous women. But at least some progress is being made.

The fact that they wrote Tom off reminded of an old adage about Grey’s Anatomy that I heard someone talking about at the start of this season which is that if there isn’t anyone significant for a character to date and you’re not an original character your days on the show are numbered. The fact that they wrote Tom off after putting Teddy and Owen back together makes me even more sure that Meredith and Hayes are going to end up together and that their relationship will be a key plot point of Season 18.

If that wasn’t the plan, I don’t think Hayes would still be there. There have been episodes this season where he has been very prominent, episodes where he’s been completely absent, and episodes like this one where he has a few short scenes. He wouldn’t still be there hanging around in the background if the plan wasn’t to set him up with Meredith. To me the only explanation that makes sense is that they are going to put Meredith and Hayes together hopefully before Season 17 ends.

Side note, I bet all of the actors who passed on being Meredith’s love interest or backed out for a movie or tv role on a newer show probably feel real dumb right now. Grey’s is about to go into its 18th season and Richard Flood who plays Hayes is getting paid mad bank whether he’s prominently in the episode or not! Plus, he slays that role. While the path they took to get here was bumpy I’m so glad that we got Hayes as a character and we’ve gotten to see his relationship with Meredith develop.

I would have loved to see more of Hayes this episode. I was expecting a scene in which he visited Meredith and I was a bit disappointed we didn’t get that. I get that the focus of the episode was on Jackson’s departure, Meredith being discharged, and Tom’s epiphany, but it would have been nice to see that. The scenes we did get were great! I love his dry sense of humour and his comments about Jo’s terrible handwriting.

My favourite moment of the episode was hands down when Hayes came to clap out Meredith with everyone else and then Perez came out and they realized that she had snuck out early and Hayes laughed and said, "Nice one Grey, Brillant!" And then he wished everyone a good night and headed out. If Meredith isn't there, he's out. He’s not even trying to hide his feelings for Meredith anymore. It’s an open secret that he likes her and is clearly smitten. Hell, at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if the janitors have a group chat about it.

I love that he laughed about it like it was some big cosmic joke they were both in on. He knows her so well. Everyone else was confused and her sisters were worried when they didn’t hear from her, but Hayes wasn’t worried because he knew she’d snuck out the back and that someone must have helped her. Speaking of romance, I’m guessing that next season they will bring in a new Head of Plastic Surgery for Jo to date. I feel like they will have more luck finding someone than they did when they tried to hire a new love interest for Meredith over the last few years because right now work is scarce.  

Also, in the romance department Teddy and Owen are back together. I'm happy for them, but other than that I don't really have any strong feelings about it. I am happy that they seem to be good and that the fighting and long-drawn-out drama is over. I've never been a ride or die Teddy and Owen shipper, so I don't feel an emotional rush seeing them back together. I loved Tom and Teddy together so I'm sorry that ended especially since Teddy and Owen have always been such a mess.

I think that they should have spent less time fighting and more time rebuilding their friendship before getting back together. We spent the first half of the season watching them fight non-stop and Owen made it clear he wanted nothing to do with Teddy ever again. Teddy treated Tom like crap while trying to win Owen back who clearly didn’t want her. While I’m glad they have reconciled, and the drama appears to be over I wish they had spent less time on the fighting and more time on exploring Teddy’s trauma and having them rebuild their friendship if that was the route they were going to go.

We also get more details about Maggie and Winston’s wedding this episode. I posited on Twitter a few days ago that I thought Maggie might ask both her dads Bill and Richard to walk her down the aisle as she'd want to include both of them in the ceremony. I think having Bill walk her down the aisle and Richard officiate is lovely. It reminds me of when Bailey stepped up to officiate Callie and Arizona's wedding.

I’d like to see more interactions between Meredith and Winston and Meredith and Link in the future as both men have become a part of the family largely while Meredith was sick so it would be great to see them get to know each other and bond. I really loved the scene between Winston, Link, and Owen where Winston was trying to figure out if Teddy and Owen were back together and Winston and Owen were teasing Link about the Sister House. It’s nice to see them all bond. It would be even better if they would all have more scenes with Hayes and for them to bond as well. I hope to see more of that next season.

I get why Link wants to get out of the Sister House, but I think he was a bit unrealistic about the situation. Meredith just got discharged. Amelia and Maggie aren’t going to want to leave her side until she tells them she’s ready and it’s okay for them to go and take a step back. I foresee them going with a hybrid approach next season where Maggie and Winston move to his place following the wedding and Link, Amelia, and Scout move to Link's place, but they still spend time at Meredith's house frequently. I imagine after being away from her kids for so long at some point Meredith is going to want her house back and to spend time alone with her kids.

I'm interested to see Meredith talk about her time on the beach in the upcoming episodes. Richard and Bailey were struggling to figure out how to tell her about DeLuca’s death but we the audience knew that Meredith already knew he had died. When she coded previously, and Ellis Grey passed away the first words out of her mouth were about her mother being dead. But here we see something different. When Meredith wakes up this season the first words out of her mouth are about how much she and Derek love Zola. She uses the word ‘we’ so the audience knows what she’s talking about, but the characters don’t.

It appears that at least a week has passed since the previous episode possibly two and we learn that Meredith hasn’t brought up her time on the beach or her visits from the dead to anyone. I think that she’s keeping that to herself for a few reasons. She didn’t want to leave the beach and telling that to the people who just spend the past three months trying desperately to save her life would probably come across as suicidal and upsetting. The conversations between her and Derek were personal and private, and she may not be ready to share them just yet.

Her conversations with George, Lexie, and Mark were also pretty personal so she might not be ready to talk about that either. In this episode we see her tell Bailey and Richard that DeLuca is okay because he’s with his mother. The scene cuts away, so we don’t know what else she tells them. Hopefully we’ll find out next week. My guess is that the first person she’ll talk to about the beach in the following episodes will be Hayes because he will understand her desire to stay because of how he lost his wife.

He won’t see her desire to stay on the beach as suicidal or crazy because he would probably think about doing the same thing if given the opportunity. We saw Meredith be really vulnerable with Hayes when she first got sick about her fears of dying and falling asleep. They’ve talked at length about their spouses and their past relationships in a way she hasn’t with other characters. I feel like he is the perfect person to talk to about what happened on the beach because he won’t judge Meredith or take her desire to stay personally.

They’ve already established that Hayes is a supportive and understanding person who is happy to sit there and listen to Meredith talk about her experience of dating after death and past relationships and so I think he’s someone Meredith can open to about what it was like to see Derek again, what it was like to realize her ex-boyfriend was dying, what is what like to get closure with George, and gain wisdom from Lexie and Mark. I’m hoping that will happen in next week’s episode and if not in the finale.

We saw Helm having a tough time this episode. I think Helm moving in with Levi and Jo is a good idea. I think it will give Helm the support she needs and I'm glad Levi is there for her. We haven't seen Jo and Helm interact much so far, so I'm interested to see how Jo is going to feel about her moving in. Also, where is Helm going to sleep? Jo and Levi live in a one room loft where Jo sleeps in a large bed and Levi sleeps on the couch. I would have liked to have seen more scenes along the way building up to this as Levi and Helm haven't had a scene all season and now right at the end you see him trying to help her. I also really miss Parker as a character. I wish they brought him back as well as Helm.

Something I didn’t like was that they seem to be focusing on DeLuca, his death, and his absence more than they should. I get that the writers and people behind the scenes liked the actor who played him, but the character himself was pretty widely detested by the other characters for seasons 15 and 16 so having them talk about him like he was such a great guy that everyone was super close to and that they all miss feels hollow to me and kind of annoying.

DeLuca and Meredith were not that close. They weren’t friends and rarely had a scene together prior to Season 15. They stopped talking entirely after he broke up with her in Season 16 and they weren’t friends when he died. So, talking about how he would have been so happy for her and one of the first people to cheer her on is strange. Also, I felt like Jo’s comments to Carina were out of place. I get that when someone dies its customary to say nice things about them to their family and Carina is mentoring Jo and she’s grateful for that, but DeLuca was god awful to her.

They become really good friends after Alex attacked him but then they stopped being friends when she got back together with Alex. They stopped having scenes together after that until he took an interest in Meredith at which time Jo and Alex both made it abundantly clear to his face and behind his back that they disliked him, and they hated the idea of him and Meredith together. All he did was antagonize both of them during seasons 15 and 16 for absolutely no reason and then after Alex left DeLuca walked up to Jo at the Emerald City Bar touched her without her consent and attempted to kiss her and get her to sleep with him to the point that she wound up throwing a drink in his face to get him to leave her alone.

He then told the bartender she was crazy after she told him to get some help. That’s sexual assault and attempted rape and DeLuca should have gone to jail for what he did. Instead we never see it addressed, he never apologizes, and they don’t share a single together after that. My hope is that they will finally moving on from talking about DeLuca and his absence next season. It’s getting a bit ridiculous at this point and it’s time to move on.

Onto next week’s promo! We don’t get a lot of information from this one. We see Bailey talking about how she’s losing surgeons left, right, and centre and she can’t afford to lose anymore and Meredith talking about how she can’t operate if she can’t stand on her feet. She’s worried she might never get back to operating, but this is Grey’s Anatomy so we know she will. Link talks to Amelia about wanting more children which considering that Scout is only a few months old and they couldn’t wait to get out of the house full of children just last week is a terrible idea. Link finally calls Jo on the fact that she clearly wants to adopt Luna who promptly codes! Yikes!

Until next time!