#i need to try and overcome it and expose myself to things that cause me distress but Everything causes me distress. i'm not exaggerating!

[seapasture]

everything seems to be a trigger for my ocd and bpd at the moment :( the thought of even being known by another person is more than I can bear

[blueicequeen19]

Don’t Play Games

Warnings: JJ being a cocky fucker, teasing, creampie, oral, orgasm denial

JJ Maybank had an exhibition kink and wasn’t afraid to prove it. The guy wasn’t even remotely shy about his needs and he was far more adventurous than anyone you’d ever been with. You’d quickly learned to overcome any insecurities you might’ve had because he insisted on worshipping you at all hours of the day, no matter where you were.

Right now he had you bent over the counter in the Chateau while your friend group was watching a movie less than ten feet away. His hand over your mouth was the only thing keeping you from crying out in bliss as he stroked the sweet spot deep inside you at a slow and steady pace.

“If only you could see how pathetic you look, taking me like a good little slut. This pussy nice and wet just for me. I bet it feels good having me this deep, doesn’t it?” JJ rasps in your ear, his hips getting flush with your ass as he slides in over and over again. Your release was so close but so far away.

“You wanna cum, baby? You wanna soak my cock then lick it off later when the lights go out?” You nod the best you can with his hand squeezing your cheeks. When he rolls his hips, yours threaten to roll back in your head.

“I have a better idea.” JJ’s free hand slides between your legs, stroking your clit until your legs nearly buckle only to stop abruptly. You whine softly against his hand as he leaves you empty and aching, zipping up his shorts with a taunting smirk.

“Now let’s see who can keep their hands off who during this movie.” JJ pulls your dress back down and turns your body, moving in for a kiss that you avoid with an annoyed look.

“You’re an asshole.” You bite out, your core aching with need as you try to push past him. JJ pulls you in for a panty dropping kiss that leaves you weak and breathless before pulling back with a wicked grin. You let him walk away as you glared at his back, ready to make him pay and his balls blue by the end of the movie.

It didn’t take long before the intense thriller on screen captured everyone’s attention but JJ’s. That was entirely your fault.

You kept an eye on him from the corner of your eye but only because you kept teasing him. He was on one side of the small loveseat and you were on the other. You took the opportunity to sit sideways on your knees so you could flash him your bare pussy when he least expected it. The first time his eyes nearly popped out and he sat up like he was moments away from lunging. Then he quickly looked around the room at his friends to make sure no one had noticed before shooting you a dirty look.

You faked innocence as you quickly tucked your dress back down. A few more minutes passed as you pretended to watch the movie, feeling JJ’s eyes and hunger. You slowly and discreetly tug your dress back up to expose your pussy to him again. It was hard not to smirk over the torture you caused him as he sank deeper into the loveseat, spreading his legs wide in attempt to ease the ache he no doubt felt. His hand tugged at his unruly blonde hair as he released a long exhale while fighting to tear his eyes of your exposed cunt.

When he took out his phone after you’d carefully covered yourself again, you knew you were in trouble. Your own phone lit up with a text and you bit back a smirk.

“Think I won’t sink knuckle deep in that pussy right now?” Your pussy walls pulsed at his crude words and you bit your lip.

“Think I won’t make you watch as I get myself off?” You sent back, followed by a nude you’d sent him earlier in the week. JJ’s expression hardened when he opened the message, his eyes snapping in your direction with a warning glare. You shrugged, sitting your phone down and turning your attention back to the movie.

All of your friends were asleep except Sarah as she nervously bit at her nails, eyes glued to the screen while John B snored softly on her shoulder. Sarah was just as brazen as you were so you didn’t feel bad when turning more on your side to flash JJ again. His eyes burned into you as you reached your hand back to touch your slick slit. JJ’s expression darkened but you refused to back down.

You dipped two fingers inside yourself, letting your head fall back against the couch cushion while you bit your bottom lip. After slowly fingering yourself for a moment, you withdrew your hand as you locked eyes with him and popped the two fingers in your mouth. His eyes widened for a moment before his expression turned dark and he pointed at the hallway with a silent demand.

You shook your head, making a show as you licked your fingers clean before tugging your dress back down to watch the movie.

By the time the movie was over, everyone was passed out but the two of you. JJ was antsy and unable to sit still in his seat. His hair was a mess where he kept dragging his fingers through it and his lip chewed raw. As soon as you stood up once the credits began to roll, he was roughly taking your arm and leading you down the hall.

JJ didn’t say one word or bother to flip the lights on when the bedroom door shut. You reached for him in the dark but he spun you around and shoved you down on the bed. He was on top of you in an instant, your dress hiked up and his cock between your cheeks. He wasn’t easy when he shoved inside you and his movements were rough.

His hand fisted your hair, shoving your face into the bedding as he pounded you like there was no tomorrow. Like you were nothing more than a hole for him to use. It was too much at once and you couldn’t get your bearings. You couldn’t reach your clit.

“Thought you could tease me and get away with it?” JJ growls in your ear, his chest pressed to your back as his hips hammer into you. You don’t get time to respond before a deep groan echos in your ear and you feel him finishing inside you. JJ quickly climbs off your body, leaving you dazed and confused as he rights himself.

“JJ, I swear—.”

“You’re in no position to make demands, baby.” JJ’s voice taunting while you roll over to face him.

“I didn’t cum.” You scoff, angry and humiliated that your plan backfired. JJ flashed that signature smile of his as he leaned down until you were almost nose to nose.

“You should’ve behaved. Bad girls don’t get to cum.” JJ leaned in to kiss you but you jerked back, rolling your lip at him.

“Awe, no kiss? That’s fine.” JJ smirks before suddenly yanking you to the edge of the bed by your hips and dropping to his knees. His head is under your dress before you can protest, his torturous mouth sucking your clit hard until you see stars.

“Oh, J—.” Your back bows off the bed, your hands fisting the bedding as your orgasm barrels forward only for him to pull away at the last possible second. A pathetic whine leaves your lips as he raises to his full height with a devious smirk, your arousal glistening on his mouth and chin.

“Don’t get mad because the player plays the game better than you, baby. I’ll finish you when I think you’ve earned it. Now be a good girl and get our stuff so we can go home.”

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 8/13

What am I feeling today?

I’m feeling pretty good! I was able to get open and get advice yesterday after talking with my spiritual mentor, I’m so grateful to have her in my life. I will be taking a small break from the book of Job as I take some time to study out purity since it’s become a bit of a struggle for me again lately. Overall, I’m feeling quite encouraged and happy today (it’s also my cat’s birthday, she’s 4 now!🥰). My hope is that I can continue to stay positive and close to God through this time!

Six Keys to Sexual Purity

Key #1 - Acknowledge Your Temptation Triggers

Temptation is inevitable. It will come. So, you shouldn’t be surprised by it but prepared for it. To overcome temptation, you must first understand what tempts you. It is vital that you take drastic steps to identify and remove anything and anyone that causes you to stumble on your journey. For example, if you find yourself tempted when watching a specific tv show, listening to a particular music artist, or following certain accounts on social media, eliminate these temptations immediately. Don’t waste any time.

Reflection: Do you know your temptation triggers? Take a piece of paper, and jot down the things that entice you to sin and give in to temptation. What boundaries can you establish to ensure you aren't triggered?

In all honesty one of them is seeing the guys I like. Although I’m quite strict with myself and try to keep our interactions as pure as possible, I do sometimes let my mind wander and fantasize of what it would be like.

Another was social media (which I got rid of yesterday). Occasionally videos would come up that were enticing and tempting and I can’t allow myself to be exposed to that anymore.

Lastly, books and movies/shows. I love romance, I adore it and I deeply enjoy romantic media. However, a lot of what is mainstream is not at all pure or appropriate and it can be tempting for me to think, ‘is it really that bad if I give in’ - I need to continue being strict with myself in terms of the media I allow myself to consume.

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.”

just to reiterate that sex that sex isn’t a bad thing, but it is only allowed within the confines of marriage! anything outside of that is considered sexual immoral and therefore sin in the eyes of God. since I’m a single woman, it’ll be good for me to keep in mind that I should avoid it all together and resist the temptation since it’ll always result in sin for me as I am not married.

James 1:13-15 NIV

“When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

God is not the one who tempts us (although He does test us). Our temptation comes from our own evil desire. There are some sins that we truly desire (for example, I’m battling with my purity) but we need to be sure not to give in to it.

Matthew 5:27-29 NIV

““You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

One, that it’s sin to look at someone lustfully. This is something I can struggle with when I see the guy I like. In my sinful nature, I want him to lust after me as well. But, I must keep reminding myself that it should in no way be the basis of a relationship. I shouldn’t want someone to want me just because they want my body. I want a pure loving relationship where lust should not have a prominent role.

Furthermore, Jesus tells us to get rid of anything that causes us to stumble (although I can’t get rid of the guys, I can correct my thinking and how I interact with them to keep purity as a top priority). Also, I was able to get rid of media that was tempting for me.

Romans 13:13-14 NIV

“Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.”

Another reminder again about our behavior! I may struggle with some of my thoughts but I continue to behave with decency. I don’t initiate anything with the men in my life, I allow them to lead in a godly manner as they should. I don’t dress immodestly or try to present myself or act in a way that could be tempting to them. I want to make sure that both of our hearts are being guarded which can honestly be quite difficult for me at times.

Galatians 5:16-17 NIV

“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.”

Just a reminder that the desires of our flesh are not in line with that of the spirit. Jesus himself said that we must deny ourselves (our flesh) daily when we follow him. It’s a daily renewal of the mind to desire what the Spirit does instead of our sinful flesh.

[uaremyjae]

My thoughts on my One Piece journey and How it’s affected me 🩷

This is going to be long ass post lol

I think this is the platform that I never knew that I will ever comeback to but you know because of one piece and deprived of Sanji, Nami & Law content, ✨ here I am 😁✨ *shamelessly comeback after abandoned tumblr for good 11 years lmao*.

Anyway, I just want to let out my thoughts on my one piece journey and how it affected me. So bear with me. This is only place I can talk about One Piece because other platforms I had is related to kpop * Yes I’m a kpop fan. HEAVY ON NCT. Neo Got My Back.*

I know about one piece way back when I’m teenager. It’s just I don’t start to watch it/ read it somehow?? Idk why 🤷‍♀️ I’m also confused to as why because I did grew up watch anime like FMAB, Naruto, Bleach, Black Butler, K-On, Fairy Tail on tv. HECK I EVEN WATCH THE LONG ASS DETECTIVE CONAN TOO 😭

I think it’s because back in the day ( 2010 - 2017 ), I had lack of access to internet and not exposed to the series at all. Besides the local TV station here, only aired Naruto ,Bleach and those anime I mentioned . *I’m just 24 years old btw*

So around September 2023, I came across to One Piece content on TikTok and funny enough it’s Brook edit! I was so intrigued with this character and little did I know I watch a bunch of One Piece clip here and there on TikTok. To be fair, I am basically spoiled myself that time 😬 but I’m the type dgaf if I got spoiled because I won’t remember at all later on. 🤷‍♀️

So I decide to start watch it. First few episodes, my reaction was like “ Okay Luffy is an interesting guy🧐his body stretches and always smiled! He got damn hands tho ngl”. Zoro, my reaction was like “ahaaa SO THIS IS ZORO THAT EVERYONE KEEP TALKING ABOUT. Quite a Stud.”

Nami, interesting female character that I can relate because I like money 🤑 and her backstory is so sad. Ussop is also another character I gradually love over the time!

Then COMES MY HUSBANDO, SANJI. Man I have a thing for a man who can cook and looks good in suits. Sanji really makes me having my first anime crush ever! I DONT HAVE A CRUSH ON ANYONE IN NARUTO & Detective Conan but One Piece made me have one 🤧 *The upgrade from loving a guy that exist but doesn’t know you exist ( haechan,jaehyun & jaemin bb i luv you guys but Sanji 😮‍💨) to loving a guy who are not exist on this plane of earth 👀*

Little did I know I start to binge watch it. First day of watching, 30 episodes in 6 hours. 10 days later I already watch 325 episodes . but the show is so good! The story telling that oda created really hit home to me and the foreshadowing & lore he created makes me hooked unlike other story that I have read & watched.

Here’s the thing, to me every anime that I watch, I never like finish it . Sometimes I would just watch last ep and called it the day. This is not only apply on anime, it’s apply to western shows, my own local shows & k-dramas. So One Piece truly like solidified their place on my heart. I finally can understand why one piece are so loved for decades!

Also during those times, I hit rock bottom too. I quit my job because I was falsely accused for stealing shit at my work place and being discriminated by my ex-boss due to being the youngest one for my entire work.( everyone else was in their 40’s ). That time I was desperate as I need some money to achieve my bucket-list and want to lessen the burden of my family. Lord heavens knows what I’m going through, got death threats by that mf. Twisted the truth that causing my whole family cut ties with her severely. From there, I felt so stress and worried.

So One Piece is my way of escapism and it’s been a beautiful and exciting journey. Compared to last time, I took a 7 months breaks from works due to burn out & anxiety, this time it doesnt took long for me to overcome those situations and my “year-end blues” that I called is not as bad as before. I also has been actively try to get a job asap so I can buy an Ipad as I want to start learning digital drawing again after watching one piece.

One piece teach me it’s never late to start a new journey towards your dream! I used to dream to be a graphic designer or animators but my family don’t want me to be that. They want me to have that conservative jobs like working in government, an accountant etc. so essentially I gave up those dreams so I can make them proud of me. It’s been bothering me for so long as I felt like I should have go for what I want not what people want. At the end, I abandoned my accountancy knowledge and worked as an admin & a baker which I found a lot more less stressful that being an accountant. I guess what people describe after knows me personally being a confident, free-spirited & rebellious is just the way I am. AND oddly enough One Piece is just perfect manga & anime for me!

At this point, I already caught up with anime. I’m a weekly basis anime watchers now. I also has caught up with manga too. It’s been a huge revealing & fresh experience of One Piece for me. I felt like I being myself again! It’s weird but it’s the truth! I never felt so at ease and being seen. I just want to do what I want. It’s just fitting fate for me to be a One Piece fan!

That’s all what I want to say… if you really read this till the end. Thank you!

[beemers-hell]

is bones really innocent? seems like they only got off bc theyre well known in the fandom

(i will talk pretty extensively about self harm for this, fair warning!)

"innocent" isn't a good word to use for this, they were put on the spot for how they self harm and they weren't approached for an explanation before they were accused of liking pro/shit bullshit. If there's anyone who's gonna know what kind of person it actually is its gonna be me, I know for a fact that the reason it read some gross fics is so he could self harm by re traumatizing himself. I know Why he wanted to hurt himself because I know what fucked up shit he'd experienced shortly before which caused him to look for stuff to sh with. He's also already explained the kind of horrific shit he's experienced in his life that pushed him to read proshit stuff as a means to self harm in the first place, and I've already explained that I've been helping him to overcome that habit and try to do my best to help him heal from all that awful shit.

I'm not gonna defend a person that I've seen irrefutable evidence as being into proship stuff Or anything else gross like that, even if they're my partner or one of my friends, I don't fuck with that shit! I'm not gonna be sympathetic to them, I'm gonna be really harsh about it, but thats not the sitch here. Its done a very good job of wiping any possibility of seeing that content off of its feed, and not relapsing into intentionally seeking it out again. There have been MULTIPLE times where they had stumbled across gross proship stuff without trying to and they had what I'd describe as panic attacks and breakdowns over it, I've been with them when they happened and I've seen the kind of affect it has on them, it is no where near positive.

Don't get me wrong, its bad that he consumed that content, but it doesn't make him a bad person, he was using it to hurt himself. I know a NUMBER of people, from every corner of my life and the internet whether it be my irl friends, my online friends, people In this community and other places online, who have done the exact same thing to self harm, but I'm not going to say anyone I know who hurts themselves like this is a terrible person because they're not using it as something to get enjoyment out of. They need help overcoming habits that are damaging them further, and they KNOW thats what its doing. I'd be FAR less sympathetic if I knew they actually liked that stuff or they were making that shit themselves, but again, that's not the case here. Mental Self Harm is a very real form of sh and we need to recognize it as such!

I engage wirh this kind of thing, not by looking at proshit stuff, but ill do things like rereading old texts from people who severely hurt me, I'll read about the experiences of people whove experienced the same kinds of abuse as me as a way to relive it when I feel particularly unstable, I'll intentionally expose myself to disturbing fictional images or stories when I'm having a paranoid breakdown because I KNOW its going to make me experience delusions and put me in a very long lasting state of mental stress. we don't self harm in the same ways but its still self harm regardless, and it has the same damaging effect. That's what caused this and thats what were working on healing from.

[akuaya-stories-tl]

Chapter 3, Episode 3: Devils' Secret Rendezvous

Eric: Captain, I'll handle the left!

Claude: Alright, I'll leave it to you! Haaaah!

[purifies]

Sena: Both of your purification speeds are amazing...

Claude: Eric, that was well done. Good job for keeping your guard until the end.

Eric: Thank you...!

Um, the truth is... yesterday evening I took some time to train with Sir Oscar, since I want to overcome my weaknesses.

Claude: I'm sure it turned out to be beneficial training for you. Despite how he looked, his skills are unmistakable.

Eric: Indeed. Because there's also preparation for today, the training was only for a short time... but there were a lot of learning points.

He's someone who'd often cause trouble to others, but it's certain that he's an indispensable presence within the Aquilegia Army.

Claude: I agree. I often find myself relying on him. Just like me with you.

Eric: I... Frankly, I don't think I can stand as an equal to Sir Oscar right now.

But...! One day, I'll close in our gap and surpass him! That's why I'll devote myself to being better.

Claude: Indeed, your ambition and effort are your biggest assets. But don't force yourself too hard.

Eric: Yes, I'll bear that in mind!

Eric: ! Another curse again...! Haah!!

Curse's Voice: ...I don't wanna die...

Eric: ...!? A child's... voice...

Curse's Voice: Help... Mom... Cold, it's cold...

Eric: ...Urgh...

Claude: Eric! Behind you!

[purifies]

Eric: Ah...!?

Claude: ...Eric, it looks like your weakness is showing up again.

Eric: I-I apologize! It was my mistake...

Claude: You were shaken by the words coming from the curse. Try not to take in those things that much.

Curses are corpses that have long lost their souls. Those words are nothing but hollow echoes of the past.

Eric: I know that but... I can't stop their voices from entering my ears as I purify them.

Claude: As a soldier, there are times when you need to kill off your heart. As the ones who wield the sword to protect the citizens, there's no room for us to be disturbed in a battle.

Eric: ...I'll try my best.

Claude: That's good. Continue on with the purification.

Eric: Yes Sir!

Curse's Voice: Uuu... Why, did it... turn out like this...

...Os... Don't... die...

Eric: ...? What was that?

Claude: ...No clue. I've said it before, don't take those in that much. Just treat it like flowing water.

That was... a voice I remembered. That was Oscar's comrade. I can't believe I'd hear that voice from the curse.

...This is an unexpected risk. If we continue on with the purification, there's a chance that affairs from the past would be exposed.

And then, one day my secret too will—

Eric: Captain? Are you alright?

Claude: Nothing, I'm fine. Let's head to the next location.

I can't allow Eric to know my secret. Although I trust him as a subordinate, he's still an outsider in the end.

Claude: ...As expected, there are many Wraith's lingering around here. It was the right decision to leave the Tuner behind.

Eric: Yes... It's dangerous after all. But, this is... um...

Claude: What's wrong, Eric?

Eric: I've heard from the report that there's a widespread curse in the forest ahead. But, I haven't seen much of it...

Claude: If you're saying so, then there must be something that didn't make sense with the information. Let's investigate for a bit.

Eric: Yes Sir, I'll accompany you!

Claude: ...Indeed, it's strange. The amount of curses around has suddenly decreased. As if—

Eric: As if someone had cleaned them beforehand...

Claude: ! Eric, drop your voice.

Eric: Huh? Y-Yes...

Curse's Voice: U-Uuh... A, Aaah... Scary... the calamity...

[purified]

Rosé: Eeeeh, another one moaning whatevers. Scared? Hatred? I don't get those things at all.

Devils: There isn't anything that could scare Lord Rosé.

Rosé: Hmm? Is that supposed to be flattery? I'm not at all happy by it. Since isn't it obvious.

Devils: Not at all Lord Rosé. It's just the truth.

Rosé: Oh. But keep blabbering boring stuff is no-no. Got it?

This great me generously choose to help you lot because it looks fun. Once it gets boring I'll massacre you all and will be skipping back home.

Devils: F-Forgive us...

Rosé: Yeah, yeah. I wanna try listening to other curses. It'll be nice if I can find a material I can use.

After all, I'm helping you guys to cause a Malamity. This one is gonna be more amusing than the past ones.

Fufu, with the Malamity I can get my hands on a huge amount of human souls. Gotta search for a nice cooking spell...

Eric: ...Sir Claude! What the Devils are discussing just now...!

Claude: Causing a Malamity... If that's true then this is a grave matter.

Eric: What should we do? Should we call the soldiers and catch them—

Rosé: Heeey, little mice over there. Who's catching who here?

Eric: !!

Claude: ...So he did notice us.

[gets out of the bushes]

Devils: Human!? Did they hear us!

Rosé: A~h, it's "chicken bone" and "light salted". You guys have seen something you shouldn't.

Now, how should I deal with you two? Should I plop your souls into my mouth and eat them? Or should I have you both to play with me for a while...?

[magic]

Eric: Kuh...!

Claude: I should've brought more soldiers with us. Now, how could we overcome this situation...

Eric: Our opponents are Rosé and his five subordinates, can me and Captain defeat them all...!?

[gets in front of Claude]

...Captain! I'll hold them off here!

Claude: Eric? What are you saying?

Eric: Even with the both of us, there's no guarantee we can safely return if we ended up facing Rosé and his number of people.

Then, Captain, you must return! You're someone needed by the Empire! You can't die here!

Claude: Eric...

Is he serious? He'd wager even his life for others, for the Empire?

Maybe... there's nothing to be afraid of if Eric learned my secret.

...But that's also exactly why I can't allow Eric to know. Because my secret would bring calamity to the Empire.

Eric: Sir Claude, quick!

Claude: Calm down, Eric. He doesn't have the will to fight.

Eric: Huh!? But, he's using magic—

Rosé: He~h, you see through me pretty well. Even though I just barked a little to see your cute reaction.

I'm incognito today, so I can't do anything too out there. I like doing things I can't though.

Claude: This is the Empire's territory. Tell me your purpose. I've heard the word "Malamity" from you.

Rosé: Ah, you eavesdrop that much? No way I'd tell you that~

Devils: Lord Rosé, isn't it better if we just kill them...

Rosé: You guys are truly morons. They have the purification power. If they died here, it's bound to reach someone's ears sooner or later.

You guys wouldn't want to be noticed, would you? Not by B.I.G brother now.

Devils: That's...

Claude: You're hiding this from Adder? Is there an internal conflict happening in the Belladonna Family.

Rosé: Look, you heard them? They don't know anything. Retreat before the tea is spilled~!

Devils: U-Understand...

Eric: Wait...!!

Claude: Stop, Eric. We have no choice but to let them go. This is an order.

Eric: But, Captain—

Claude: You're also an important person needed by the Empire. I won't allow you to die here.

Eric: Captain...! Alright... I'm sorry for losing my cool.

Claude: I understand how you feel. I'd never expect I'll hear the word "Malamity" out here.

Eric: Yes... [Belladonna Calamity] and the [Red Moon Calamity] that happened in recent years. The disasters the Devils caused has taken so much life.

Claude: If what Rosé said it's true, it'll turn into a big problem. Let's hurry back to the Capital and report it.

And, I ought to do something... about the voices coming from the curse.

Sena: I've heard from Eric that... the situation has turned for the worse.

Claude: Yes. I want to talk to you about that.

I'm sorry for saying this after I've said you're free to do anything, but I can't bring you along to our next mission tomorrow.

Sena: Eh?

Claude: After our sudden encounter with the Devils, we need to act cautious in our next missions.

We'll be busy reorganizing our units. I'm sorry to say this but, I'm afraid it'll be difficult for us to care for you.

Sena: I didn't mean to become a bother to everyone else...

Claude: I know. But the other soldiers are still conscious of you. As an exchange, I'll arrange so that you could freely move within the Capital.

Sena: A-Alright... If that's the case then.

Claude: Thank you. Then, please allow me to escort you to your room. It's gotten quite late after all.

Sena: Thank you.

Aquilegia Soldier: C-Captain Claude! I'm sorry to interrupt you while talking! But there's a curse happening in front of the City Gate, can you please purify it—

Sena: There's a curse here too...!?

Claude: It's embarrassing to miss such a close one while on an expedition. I want to deal with it before it spreads more. Would you like to help me?

Sena: Yes. Of course.

Claude: Then, let's begin...!

[To Be Continued...]

[elandx]

Struggles Of A Young Man

It's currently 11:53 Friday March 29th as I am typing this. I know this won't be seen or talked about because I have no followers and I'm not using any tags. I just turned 17 a month ago and when I turned I thought I was going to transform into this new person and develop a whole new mindset. But that hasn't happened. I currently struggle with 2 addictions I won't name out of embarrassment from my digital footprint but i will say most boys struggle with both if they've been exposed to it. I've tried to kick both of them with no success and it's crushing my soul. No matter where I run I still find myself falling. Every article, video, life coach, etc I've found touching on the subject helped. I know its a mindset and I've tried my best to stay with it but I fear I'm not strong enough to overcome my demons. I lean on my religion and ask God to remove the want and give me the resistance to the temptation but weather it's a week or a month I always find myself indulging in the toxicity of my addictions. I know I going down the wrong path every time I do, but the feeling is just too strong for me. Now granted my addictions don't affect my day to day and I'm fully functioning, but when I look in the mirror I can't stand what I see. I'm well over 200 pounds (probably in the 215 range), I have no good looking features on me, and my beard doesn't connect. I set a plan for myself this year to fix all that but its just not easy trying to do it alone. I don't feel like I have anyone in my corner to lean on about this and it kills me but I know I'm gonna have to do somethings alone to achieve my goals. But that's where my problem lies, all these life coaches and wellness pages on social give you a list of things to do physically but never mentally. I lack discipline and can't really hold myself accountable for anything. It's a terrible trait I acquired from my dad and he's everything I don't want to be. But I tell myself that and I still sit on my ass all day eat chicken nuggets, make music, and play madden with no real thought of the damage i'm doing to myself. Socially, I'm not pulling the girls I want nor am I pulling the ones everybody can pull. I try to justify it with "I'm not looking for a relationship." or "who needs bitches anyway?" but in the long haul it's definitely an issue because I want a wife and kids. Emotionally it causes me to shit on myself a lot and the obvious answer is to fix the issue by starting to work out but I always feel like I'm embarrassing myself. I'm so fucking caught up with all this worldly shit that it's causing me to kill myself slowly and I'm sick of it. As we roll into a new month I plan on saying fuck it and start doing what i say i'm gonna do. My brain is the only thing that's stopping me and I know when I stop listening to it my body can do some amazing things. So I'm writing this as my first step into recovery from my addictions and my own self. I call on myself to do the right thing and get the outside help I need to achieve my goals. I ask God to guide me through this next chapter of my life and lead me to the ultimate triumph I pray for. I ask that he release me of all my demons and give me the wisdom to make sound decisions and not fall victim to the devil's worldly traps. I ask that he blesses me and leads me to a better place in life. I trust him with all my heart and I know he hears me. I ready for him and I truly believe I am at the cusp of something.

It's in his name I pray these words.

-Amen

[theheartofrelationshipcounseling]

Why Do I Need Constant Reassurance In My Relationship

Relationship anxiety is normal and can be part of a healthy relationship. When your partner leaves on a trip for an extended period, or you haven’t yet reconciled from a fight, you may feel on edge, waiting for a signal that will reassure you everything is okay.

But what if your relationship anxiety feels like too much? What if it makes you:

Frequently doubt your partner and overanalyze their actions?

Worry about your relationship even when there’s nothing amiss?

Seek frequent reassurance from your partner, friends, and family about your relationship?

Check for signs that your partner still loves you?

Feel exhausted by yourself and the worry you feel?

Understanding Relationship Anxiety

Your partner gave you a look this morning, which triggers doubt in your mind that he’s still in love with you. The panic this thought causes is nearly unbearable (anxiety), so you call your best friend (action), who reassures you that your partner loves you. You feel much better, but only for a few hours before the doubt returns. Why is that?

The answer may surprise you: your efforts to get rid of your anxiety accidentally reinforced what you were feeling. You taught your brain that because you took action to get rid of the anxiety, it should pay attention to it. Over time, your brain learns that your relationship doubts are worth paying attention to, and if they’re worth paying attention to, it must be because they are realistic, valid, and credible fears.

The Cycle of Relationship Anxiety

1. Something triggers anxiety. “My partner didn’t say I love you this morning. Is he angry with me? Is he thinking of ending things?”

2. You take action. “I’ll have a glass of wine/ read relationship self-help blogs/ text him first.”

3. You feel temporarily relieved because you feel relaxed, get the reassurance that you need (the blog says, “he’s probably stressed about work”), or successfully rationalize your anxiety away (“I don’t need him anyway”).

4. Because you took action, your brain thinks there must have been danger. It learns to take your anxiety seriously and becomes more sensitized as it scans for “threats” to your relationship.

5. Because your brain is looking harder for them, more “threats” are discovered. Your relationship anxiety occurs more frequently.

Overcoming Relationship Anxiety

The most extreme form of relationship anxiety is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) called relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder. However, you don’t need a diagnosis to benefit from the principles of OCD treatment (called Exposure and Response Prevention) to overcome your relationship anxiety.

Breaking this cycle for good is a simple, two-step process, but can be painful and frightening and should be done under the guidance of a licensed therapist.

Breaking the Cycle Exercise

(1) Wait for a trigger or imagine one. Expose yourself to the doubt you have about your relationship and the fear it causes. (“My partner is annoyed! Does she secretly hate me?”)

(2) Prevent yourself from taking action to lessen your anxiety about it. (“I’m going to sit here and be with the feeling instead of taking action. I am not going to reassure myself or rationalize these thoughts away.”)

(3) Sit with the doubt you have. Stop trying to fix it. Stop trying to feel less anxious. In fact, ask for more anxiety. Say to yourself, “I hope I am scared about this forever.” Accept your worst what-ifs as a possibility.

(4) As you stay in this place of letting yourself be as anxious as possible without taking action, your anxiety will naturally rise, peak, and fall. Whether it takes 5, 15, or 90 minutes, sitting with your fear in one-pointed concentration and not letting yourself do anything else will eventually give way to boredom that will then compete for your attention. Stay with it until your anxiety is half or less of the intensity it was when you started.

It may feel utterly counterintuitive to sit with the anxiety, lean into the doubt, and refuse to seek reassurance about your worst fears. Research shows this practice to be one of the most helpful methods of overcoming relationship anxiety, and it may be exactly what you need. This process teaches your brain that your fears are not such a big deal. In turn, your brain learns to give your doubts less emotional weight.

Anxiety attacks what’s most important to you; if you have relationship anxiety, it’s because you value your relationship highly. You may have past trauma that makes it hard to trust you are loved. Our highly-trained and empathetic therapists have the gentleness and expertise to help you overcome feeling disconnected from your partner, anxious, and looking for answers.

There’s hope. We are here for you, as a couple or individually. Reach out to us to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.

[minenhlembatha]

ADVICE TO FUTURE SELF AS A PERSON AND AS AN OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST

Future? That phrase always fills me with worry and shivers since the future is so unpredictable. In the late 19th century, the French theorist Henri Bergson presented his ideas of how movement and memory contribute to understanding human consciousness. He posited that our past influences our present, and our present influences our future. For a future me to be someone I will be proud of, I need to work on myself at present. I need to evolve myself now and keep on watering myself with knowledge for growth through self-motivation and self-discipline and remind myself that “not everything happens overnight. Sometimes, we need to stick to it, wait patiently until we finally reach our destination.” A study of online learners showed that even though they might all be considered self-motivated (since they are all taking a voluntary course with the goal of learning), those with self-discipline were the most likely to succeed. Those who were highly self-disciplined displayed higher competence at the end of the course, fulfilled more external tasks, and were more effective in achieving their goals (Gorbunovs, Kapenieks, & Cakula, 2016).

Picture reminding me that the future is in my hands (Christer Berg,2022)

There is nothing that provides you a calm existence than knowing that your own happiness is produced by yourself and that you have the energy to get up to perform your job because the job's passion runs in your veins. I would advise the future me as a person and an OT to be patient and appreciate every minute of life as it comes and spends most of her time doing something she loves and what will provide her with joy. To retain good judgment, positive attitudes, and effective coping mechanisms for mental health, it is crucial to always set goals for me in life as they will provide more guidance and shed light shall the road in my journey turns dark. Regardless of what transpires in life, she shouldn't be too harsh on herself; instead, she should forgive and love herself since everyone makes mistakes in life, and those mistakes teach us valuable lessons that help us grow personally and become better versions of ourselves. Holding on to things we can't alter also prevents us from developing.

"Mistakes increase your experience & experience decreases your mistakes. If you learn from your mistakes, then others learn from your success"~ author unknown

Being an Occupational Therapy student has been draining thus my future self needs strength to overcome her weaknesses. To ensure that the future me has a successful career as an occupational therapist, I must familiarize myself with the technical skills and education required for this occupation. Therefore, I mustn’t procrastinate in doing the required tasks and be self-disciplined. It is also important that I take good care of my physical health since both mental and physical health is necessary for me to achieve my future self as a person. Being exposed to the workplace causes you to lose yourself, therefore I would encourage the future me as an occupational therapist to take care of herself just as much as she takes care of others. Her mental and physical health is crucial. Additionally, OT takes up a lot of time, and we frequently focus on improving other people's occupational balance at the expense of our own. However, I implore the future me to practice good time management and to make every effort to keep her occupational balance, which primarily consists of rest and leisure activities like spending time with family and friends (social life).

(weebly, n.d)

Overall, the future me has to be kind to herself, prioritize her needs, and care for her physical and emotional health.

“Your journey will be long and hard. Success requires patience. Be patient with yourself and work hard for what you deserve. Keep trying and never give up. Do not worry about what others say about you. You have the power to choose your own destiny here.” Dedicated to future me from your beloved younger you.

(Spiritual and Holistic Gifts,2022)

“God, give me the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish one from the other. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.” ~ prayer to get me through those dark days when life feels too unbearable. I urge the future me to never forget to pray not only to ask but also to be grateful.

REFERENCES

Berg, C. (2018). Welcome to A Future. Retrieved from Next Moose|Predicting The Future: https://nextmoose.com/2018/07/welcome-to-a-future/

Gorbunovs, A., Kapenieks, A., & Cakula, S. (2016). Self-discipline as a key indicator to improve learning outcomes in e-learning environment. Procedia – Social and Behavioral Sciences, 231, 245-262. Mantell, M. (2012). Four strategies that build lasting motivation (and how to use them to achieve your goals). LifeHacker. Retrieved from https://lifehacker.com/5958782/four-strategies-that-build-lasting-motivation-and-how-to-use-them-to-achieve-your-goals

Health. (n.d.). Retrieved from Weebly: http://health-phs.weebly.com/lesson-1.html

Spiritual and Holistic Gifts. (2022). Retrieved from Serenity Gifts: https://www.serenitygifts.co.uk/collections/serenity-gifts/products/serenity-prayer-distressed-wood-plaque

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

fic title: the girl with flowers in her bones

Izumi learns she has a Quirk age six when the weird bump on her shoulder is inspected by a doctor who cuts it open to reveal a pretty flower.

Said flower quickly changed and becomes deadly, nearly killing a nurse before it’s destroyed.

No one knows how it got there but now people know about it. At first Izumi is happy. She has a Quirk.

Then she isn’t.

“It’s a useless Quirk!” Kacchan taunts her. “Perfect for a useless girl like you! Flowers under the skin! Pathetic!”

Kacchan burns her shoulder and she goes home crying.

Later a flower develops where she’s been burned and after some quiet conversation with Inko about how her husband had left because of Izumi’s Quirkless status and Izumi had heard it, they figured it out.

The flowers bloom when someone hurts her. They bloom and the doctors do a scan revealing many more flowers all over her- some were small and no one could see them. Little hurts the doctors theorized.

They still had to be removed. Izumi has been getting slower, becoming more exhausted each day. It’s the flowers.

Izumi numbly lets it happen.

But it happens again. And again.

Flowers bloom because people keep hurting her. They turn deadly when exposed to the air.

“Freak, monster, liar-“ it’s all shouted at her by her class. Kacchan leads the charge.

His flowers are always an orange lily. Hatred.

Izumi wonders if it means him or her who hates the other. When it becomes a sweet pea, she has a feeling she knows why she is receiving a goodbye.

She stops growing flowers for him. Because she knows she will only get pain from him, because he is no longer one she believes to be a friend.

“The flowers are signs of betrayal,” she changes the classification. “I can only be hurt by those I do not think would hurt me, those I trust. Once I stop trusting or believing they will not hurt me the flowers stop.”

Her mother sobs upon hearing it. Inko then goes and terrifies the Bakugou family, promising that unless Kacchan leaves her alone Inko would go after them.

Kacchan doesn’t listen.

So Inko slaps them with a lawsuit she wins. It’s enough for Izumi to go to a new school where she sits quietly and doesn’t talk.

There people whisper still but it’s sad whispers.

“Her Quirk hurts her.”

“No, it’s people hurting her which sets off her Quirk.”

“She’s so quiet.”

Izumi just works. The only one she trusts is her mother. Inko who tries so hard not to hurt her, who is honest and open. Who gives her books on flowers and smiles.

When Inko hurts Izumi she leaves violets and lavender. And they’re always small, so small. Small hurts, being too honest with her daughter.

Izumi loves her mother for it.

Izumi grows and soon she finds herself applying for UA. She wants to be a hero and her mother frets and admits she isn’t sure if Izumi can do but the two have researched and researched and well, they think they can figure a way out. Sports festival- she just needs to beat all the other students.

She thinks she can. The money they won from the lawsuit had helped Izumi not only get into a new school but also got her into a martial arts studio. Her mother insisted.

Probably was upset with how many flowers Izumi grew from cuts and burns and bruises. Those were the bigger ones, when they were left on purpose. They pushed against the skin, looked strange.

Funny, Izumi noticed that she didn’t gain flowers sparring.

“It’s probably based on intention. When you gain flowers from bruises or cuts and they’re from people doing it to hurt you and betray you, they come as flowers. But when it’s done as a fight or a spar it’s on purpose still but it’s not a betrayal of yourself.” Her Quirk therapist theorizes.

It makes sense.

Izumi goes to UA after failing the entrance exam and ends up in 1C where she finds herself meeting a boy who is like her. Sharp and broken and hurt.

Shinsou is a friend and she finds herself chuckling at his comments.

Their friendship only blooms truly though when she meets Kacchan again. He sees her and attacks, screaming. She fights back. Shinsou speaks and stops Kacchan and Izumi looks at him, seeing something similar back.

The situation ends with Izumi in the principal’s office telling her story. She looks him in the eyes tiredly.

Kacchan is removed from UA- apparently, the lawsuit hadn’t been included in his application.

“It was when he was ten!” His mother tries.

“It still happened and you lied,” Nezu tells her. Izumi isn’t supposed to be there but she went to the office to pick up some papers.

She thinks her homeroom teacher arranged it.

“The papers are supposed to show us if we need to watch out students for anything. You lied on the application.”

Izumi doesn’t know what to think as she slides away. She hasn’t seen Kacchan in years. Hasn’t spoken to him.

Yet he still tried to attack her. He hasn’t learned anything.

Izumi has left him behind. The pain he caused ended any relationship between them.

He is a child. He can learn, if he wishes.

She feels as if she is choking when she runs into someone.

“Ah,” the person says and she blinks at a girl with red and white hair. It’s long and in a braid as she stares at Izumi. There’s a burn scar on her face and as Izumi looks into her eyes she sees the same sort of pain Izumi has.

The girl nods and leaves and Izumi stares after her in confusion.

Then she has to head to class and Shinsou and it’s a mess.

A flower blooms under her cheek as she speaks and she wonders if it’s from the shock someone attacked her at UA or it’s because she always hoped Kacchan would change the longer she left him.

“It’s not the same.” She tells Shinsou. “I was in hell until I was ten and then just isolated after.”

“It’s close,” Shinsou tells her. He touches her cheek and she closes her eyes. “It’s growing?”

“Yeah. It used to be orange lilies. It might be the same now.”

It is. It’s removed by Recovery Girl and Izumi breathes and doesn’t try to think.

She doesn’t know what to think about anything.

She thinks in a way that expelling him was to much. She understands that they lied, that they removed the evidence of the trial. But did they truly know that it counted?

Kacchan is a child and needs to learn things.

At the same time, he tried to attack her.

Her mind feels muddled and confused and Shinsou tries to help but it’s different for him. His bullies were cruel and never stopped and yet he never expected it either to stop.

You can only be betrayed by a friend.

He tries but they fight and eventually he yells that she’s worthless if she wishes to let a boy who hurts her back into UA.

She flinches and he does too.

Shinsou reaches for her but she leaves, feeling sick.

Izumi wanders UA campus after that- a week after the Kacchan incident- a week after the USJ got invaded. With Kacchan in the office the class hadn’t gone to USJ, something all of them expresses relief about.

Izumi wanders and then runs into the red and white girl again. She’s training in the gym that all students are allowed to Izumi wandered to it out of habit. Usually she and Shinsou train- Shinsou finally accepting that he needs to train his body.

He’s not with her though, and she feels her shoulder ache.

Shinsou didn’t mean it, he was angry and didn’t understand. Izumi gets it.

But it still was a hurt.

“... are you okay?” The girl asks and Izumi blinks, realizing she’s been standing in the gym staring off into space.

“I’m fine.” She says. “I got into a fight with my friend.” The girl looks at her and Izumi sighs.

“My Quirk lets me know when I’ve been hurt,” Izumi explains. “The hurts become flowers under my skin. Ever hurt, physical, emotional, mental, minor or major.” Izumi sighs.

“... you were the one Bakugou attacked, the reason we did not go to the USJ.,” The girl says calmly.

“We were friends once. He hurt me badly, and we stopped. He tried again, my mom sued him and his family and they didn’t put the trial in his transcripts. So he’s been expelled and I just… I feel bad for him. He’s hurt me but I cared for him once and is it fair that he was a child when this happened and he’s still himself a child?” Izumi sighs. “Sorry. I-“

“I have similar feelings to my brother and mother.” The girl offers. Her face is slightly blank. She looks at Izumi, cocking her head slightly. “My father is not a nice man and he’s only stopped hurting us due to blackmail my eldest brother has given. I’m under the custody of my second eldest brother. My other siblings were deemed unsuited and my mother is in a mental health institute.”

“Oh!” Izumi blinks. “You didn’t-“

“You told me.” The girl shrugs. “I’m Todoroki Shouto.”

“Midoriya Izumi.”

It’s the start of something.

From the hurt Shinsou dealt jasmine is dug from Izumi’s skin and he apologizes over and over again. She tells him it’s not okay but she understands he didn’t truly mean it.

It makes her sad still.

She and Todoroki meet from time to time in the gym, speaking. Sometimes Shinsou joins them, sometimes not. He wishes to keep his Quirk private, wishing to get into the hero course like Izumi wishes.

Todoroki is kind, Izumi finds. She’s standoffish and blunt but she’s kind.

Her story is a sad one, told over gym meetings. Her father is Endeavour and he wished to overcome All Might. He had children to force it, and the abuse he placed his family through broke her mother.

Todoroki loves her mother. She loves her dearly but cannot face her.

“I used to blame myself, thinking it might be my fault she burned me. Natsuo, my brother, he got me into therapy and I’ve learned it wasn’t. I was a child, it was not on me. And yet my mother is ill.” Todoroki explains. “I care deeply for her but… I can’t face her right now. Because I have learned it is not my fault what she did and I have to adjust.”

Her brother, her eldest brother Touya, is a different story.

“He blamed me for the abuse. Said it was all my fault, hated the fact I was a girl too. Kept going on I was a screw-up, that I was disgusting. He’s in therapy to now but… I don’t talk to him. Ever if I can help it. Natsuo says he’s getting better but he won’t make me do anything. My sister keeps trying to get us to forgive our dad. We don’t want to.” Todoroki tells her. “It’s a mess.”

Todoroki doesn’t know what to do herself. Her brother was young when he became angry, and her mother ill. Neither were fully at fault, and yet she struggles.

It’s nice to talk to someone who understands.

Their friendship grows and Izumi wonders why it feels different then from her and Shinsou.

Yet as she watches Todoroki smile, she thinks she knows.

At the sports festival, Izumi and Shinsou manage to get to the tournament. They manage to claw their way to the semi-finals, determining who will go on to compete for first.

Shinsou insults her, curses her. And then he confesses.

Izumi keeps her mouth shut and shoved him out, even as she feels the flowers begin to bloom.

She does tell him she doesn’t feel the same.

“I know,” Shinsou tells her. “It’s Todoroki. You two smile all the time around each other, you laugh and have fun.” He shrugs sadly. “I just wanted to be honest.

Izumi accepts it, and later she finds the flowers to be yellow tulips.

One-sided love.

Yet first comes the finals, where Izumi screams at Todoroki to use her fire, even as the girl refuses to use it.

“I won’t use his power!” She yells.

“It’s not his! It’s yours!” Izumi cries back.

It’s chaos and destruction and in the end, Izumi has a silver medal.

And she has a smile she treasures.

It’s not love, not yet. But it has a chance to be.

A chance they cultivate, a chance they find becoming stronger and stronger as time goes on. As she and Shinsou enter the hero course, as she fights to protect a boy she barely knows on the streets of Hosu, protecting her hero mentor as well.

It’s a chance she takes, kissing Todoroki after the final exams. Todoroki accidentally burns her in shock and feels horrible.

Izumi treasures the fact a red rose blooms under her skin.

[arc852]

An Unlikely Duo Ch. 3

Warnings: Fear, panic and mention of treating a person like a pet

Word Count: 2426

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Read on AO3

________________________________________________________________

 Wilbur spent the hours leading up to dinner looking through his laptop trying to figure out what song he should play for Tommy. He hadn’t meant for it to take that long and had actually wanted to play before dinner was ready but picking a song Tommy might like was a lot harder than he thought. Not to mention, the more he stared at his own sheets of music, the more he hated every single one.

 He let out a sigh and shut his laptop, rubbing a hand down his face. He’d figure it out after he got back, he supposed.

 He headed down to dinner, only to see that they were serving spaghetti tonight. Wilbur smiled a little at the chance to bring Tommy some warm food. He could even give Tommy some bread with it as well. A full meal instead of just some deli meats he found in the fridge.

 He ate his portion of dinner, putting a forkful in a napkin and hiding it away in his pocket when the adults weren’t looking. He grinned to himself when they didn’t notice and then did the same thing with a whole roll of bread. The adults were none the wiser and when he asked to be excused, they let him go with no suspicions. Perfect.

 He closed the door to his room and kneeled down so he could place the food underneath his bed. He bit his lip as he stayed there for a moment, looking at the wall that Tommy was probably still behind. He cleared his throat. “Hey, uh, I brought you some dinner. Some bread and spaghetti. It was really good so I hope you like it. If not, I can always bring you something else.”

 He waited a moment, to see if Tommy might come out or answer him but when all he was met with was silence, Wilbur crawled out from the bed and stood up. That was fine, the little guy was probably still scared and Wilbur couldn’t blame him for that. So maybe some music would ease him.

 Wilbur grabbed his guitar and sat on his bed where he propped open his laptop once again. He frowned when he realized he was right back where he was. Unable to choose a song to play for Tommy.

 He strummed absentmindedly on his guitar as he thought over his choices. He could try the song he was playing when he first saw Tommy...but the problem with that was that it wasn't actually a song Wilbur had written. He had just been messing around on his guitar at that point. He can’t even remember what he was playing.

 A thought suddenly struck Wilbur. Maybe that was it. Maybe the song didn’t really matter. Tommy seemed to like it when he was simply playing around with chords. Maybe that would be enough.

 Biting his lip, Wilbur pulled up a blank music sheet. Maybe messing around and writing a new song was exactly what he needed. 

 And hopefully it would be enough to ease Tommy’s mind and pique his interest.

***

 Tommy had been in the middle of bending his newly acquired paperclip into a hook shape when he heard the door to the human’s room open again. He had felt a lot more comfortable when Wilbur hadn’t been in the room. But of course, the human had to return eventually. Tommy expected that.

 What he didn’t expect was for Wilbur to actually try and talk to him.

 Tommy froze as soon as he processed Wilbur was speaking. Despite being muffled through the walls, Tommy had no trouble picking up on the words being said. He had been brought food, again. Part of Tommy, which he was pretty sure was his stomach, was happy at the chance to eat more food. The other part, the more rational part, was livid that the human would try it again.

 He knew he shouldn’t have taken the food. Because now Wilbur had taken it as an incentive to keep doing it. To keep pitying him. 

 Well, Tommy wasn’t having it.

 Overcome with anger and a sense of wanting to prove himself, Tommy marched out of the wall. He grabbed the piece of bread, ignoring the way the heat came off in fumes and the smell wafted around, making his mouth water. He ignored it all in favor of taking the piece of bread and coming out from underneath the bed.

 The music had just barely started when Tommy decided to interrupt. Cupping his hand over his mouth in order to make sure he was heard. “Hey b****!”

 Wilbur’s hand paused on the strings, his body tensing. A voice, Tommy’s voice, seemed to come from the floor. But that would mean…

 Oh so slowly, as if anything faster would make Tommy leave, Wilbur put down his guitar beside him on the bed and then leaned over said bed, glancing down toward the floor. And there was Tommy, small as ever, with a familiar glare pointed right at Wilbur. Wilbur swallowed thickly, wondering what Tommy was doing out of the walls. “Tommy, what-?”

 “I don’t need your f****** food, you giant prick! And I don’t want your f****** pity either!” Tommy yelled, all his anger put into the words. Wilbur, meanwhile, sat frozen, shocked at Tommy’s words. “I can do things just fine on my own! I don’t need you or anyone and I don’t need this f****** bread either!” And with that last yell, Tommy mustered up all the strength he had and threw the bread square at Wilbur’s face.

 To the surprise of both the borrower and human, the bread hit its mark and hit Wilbur right beneath his eye.

 The piece of bread fell onto the bed and Wilbur stared at it, not knowing what to do or say. He glanced towards Tommy, who was breathing heavily from anger.

 But, as the anger slowly pulled out of his body, Tommy realized what he had just done. The anger quickly turned into an overwhelming sense of fear as the borrower realized how much he just messed up. He talked back to a human, not even that, he yelled and cursed and threw something at someone who was so much larger than himself. A being who would have no problem getting back at him tenfold.

 Tommy wasted no time in scurrying back under the bed and towards the wall.

 As soon as Tommy moved, Wilbur snapped out of his frozen state. “Wait, Tommy!” He got down from his bed and did his best to follow the borrower under the bed. He got under there in just enough time to see the tiny entrance to the walls close, with Tommy already in them.

 Tommy pressed his back against the door, heart pounding and trying to keep his breathing steady. Seeing Wilbur follow after him had been terrifying. And even now, knowing Wilbur was right there, waiting outside his door made Tommy panic. There was no way the human could get him out of the walls...right?

 Oh god but he totally could. All it would take is a hammer to the wall and Tommy would be exposed. Caught like the stupid borrower he was, why did he have to go out and do that-

 “Tommy?” A voice cut through his panicked thoughts and Tommy tensed. The voice sounded close. Too close. “Hey, I’m not...mad or anything. I’m just a little confused. I gave you the food because I just want to help. Not because of any pity or anything. I don’t pity you, Tommy.” Wilbur’s words were gentle and calm but Tommy still felt his hands become fists at his sides.

 “Why else would you give me the food? It’s because you don’t think I can get any myself.” Tommy spoke, proud that he managed without stuttering.

 “That’s not true. I’m sure you’re plenty capable.” Wilbur said back and Tommy faltered a bit. “I just thought it would be nice for you not to have to go through the trouble of finding something. Besides, it’s cold. I figured maybe you’d want something warm.”

 “You don’t know what I want.” Tommy spit out but it held less fire in it than before.

 “You’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t have assumed but I couldn’t help it. And maybe part of it is because I...I feel bad for before. For grabbing you.” Wilbur admitted, looking down at the fibers in the carpet. Tommy blinked.

 “It was incredibly rude of you.” Tommy said, the fire from his anger all but gone at this point. A laugh escaped Wilbur, causing Tommy to flinch but he soon relaxed when he realized what it was.

 “That’s fair.” Wilbur said inbetween laughs. Tommy couldn’t help but smile a little but it quickly left his face when a question popped into his head. A question he had been itching to ask since it had happened, really. He supposed now was as good of a time as any. With the wall between them, Tommy felt a lot more comfortable talking to the human.

 “What was the deal with the whole three questions thing anyway? You could have just...kept me and forced me to answer all that you wanted to ask.” Tommy didn’t know why he was bringing up the fact that Wilbur could have kept him. Could very much still catch him and keep him. But the question was already out in the open.

 Wilbur was silent for a long time, to the point where Tommy was starting to get nervous. Did he just make the human realize his mistake? Was this where the hammer to the walls came in?

 “Tommy, I...I wouldn’t…” Wilbur was having a hard time collecting his thoughts. “I was never going to keep you. I was curious, yeah, and I definitely reacted wrong but you’re clearly a person and that’s...no, yeah, I was always going to let you go. The questions...I did that so I could get something out of our meeting before you left.”

 Tommy blinked, mind running with this new information. Part of him wanted to say that Wilbur was lying but at the same time...he did let him go. Was that enough to support what Wilbur claimed?

 “I...I didn’t think it mattered, if I was a person or not. Cause yeah, that s*** is obvious but other humans don’t seem to care too much about that. They see something small and ‘helpless’ and think, mine.” He remembered the stories his parents would tell him, of borrowers being caught and kept as pets even after they revealed they could think and speak for themselves. It was awful and did the trick for little Tommy to stay far away from outside the walls for the longest time.

 “...Well those people are right pricks then.” Wilbur spoke and the bluntness of the statement made Tommy laugh. Despite the underlying anger in Wilbur’s tone, he was pretty sure the anger wasn’t directed at him.

 “Couldn’t agree with you more, big man.” The nickname slipped out without him meaning to but if Wilbur noticed he didn’t say anything. Just let out a quiet snort. They sat in silence for a few moments and in that time Tommy realized his heart wasn’t beating as fast as it had been. He was still terrified but somehow...less, now.

 Wilbur stared at the little door, the one that blended into the walls so well he could barely even see it. Half of him hoped Tommy would come out and they could speak face to face but he knew that wouldn’t happen. And he couldn’t really blame him either. Not with Tommy’s line of thinking. It truly was awful though, especially since Wilbur knew full well that some humans were just that bad. It made Wilbur sick just thinking about it.

 He stared at the small piece of bread that he had taken with him, the one that Tommy had thrown and gently placed it back with the small pile of spaghetti. “I’ll leave you alone now. I know it was probably a bit...much, with me chasing you underneath the bed. Sorry, about that by the way. Um, but yeah. I’ll leave the food here, just in case you want it. Not out of pity or anything.” Wilbur felt the need to reassure further. “But just because.”

 Tommy didn’t say anything at that. But Wilbur smiled anyway. “And if you ever need anything, I’d be more than happy to help you out.” He let his words hang there for a bit, letting Tommy soak them up. “Goodnight, Tommy.” And with that, Wilbur crawled out from underneath the bed and climbed back on top of it.

 He stared at his guitar for a moment before picking it up to put away. It was getting late anyway. He should probably get some sleep.

 As Tommy heard Wilbur shuffling around, he couldn’t help but think about what had just happened. It had gone...better, than Tommy would have ever expected. He still wasn’t sure if he believed Wilbur or not but some part of him really wanted to. It was dangerous to listen to that part of him though. 

 As the noises out in the room died down, Tommy took a deep breath and opened the door. He half-expected to see Wilbur still under the bed, waiting for him. But of course, he wasn’t. Judging by the silence and how dark the room was, Tommy could only assume he had gone to bed.

 His eyes drifted over towards the small pile of food, still steaming. Hesitantly, Tommy made his way over to it and picked up the piece of bread he had thrown at Wilbur. It wasn’t as hot as before but it still held some of its warmth. It was soft in his hands with a spongy sort of texture. Tommy had had bread before but that bread had always been kind of old and stale. It was never like this.

 He took a bite out of it and tears immediately welled up in his eyes.

 Tommy had never eaten anything warm before. It was an unfamiliar but welcome feeling all the same. The dull cold he always felt was, for once, warmed by the food. It was amazing and that was just the bread.

 He wiped his tears away as he continued to eat.

 And later that night, as he laid on the ground with his thin blanket and a full, warm, stomach, he couldn’t help but think about Wilbur.

[immaculatetfs]

Hey! I have a story idea. What if a group of bros decide to go cow tipping on a farm and the farmer is a wizard. He stops them and attaches cow bells to their necks slowly transforming them into cows. Their utters produce muscle milk which he sells in stores.

Can do (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

                                                     Muscle milk

*Animal TF*

Jaques Caleb and Chad had been best friends since starting school together. All three had been quick to meet on the football field, their loud, immature humour making the trio thick as thieves, all the while making the rest of their classmates dismiss them as egg-headed and obnoxious, stereotypical jocks. This bond between these three only strengthened as they grew into their late teens.They spent most of their time together either working out, playing football or partying. There was a rumour that back in the 50’s there had been a tradition for highschool leavers to go cow tipping on their last day, a practice that had been outlawed after perpetrators had mysteriously disappeared. Perhaps it was this that gave Caleb the notion at the school ball afterparty.

“YOOOOO BROOOO We should go cow tipping Broo” he slured

“What? Nah bro well miss the party” replied Chad as he made out with his girlfriend

“WeRe gOnnA MIss ThE pArTY, nah man. It's gonna be a RIOT. Don't you wanna uphold the Greenfield tradition?” Mocked Caleb

“Nah man, come with us , it's gonna be HILARIOUS” Jaques chimed in

“Ugh you guys are such idiots. Seeya babe” Chad gave his girlfriend one last long kiss and the trio left the party’s smell of deodorant and booming music, their heads swimming  with fireball and beer and mouths chuckling as Caleb made ribald remarks of what they would do to the unsuspecting cows.

They chose a field that was about 20 minutes away from their school that just scraped the outskirts of town. They believed that nobody would be looking out as the last caught tipping was ages ago, but still wanted a quick escape. 

After climbing over the wire fence, the three made their way up a hill to the nearest heftier, a large cow with swollen udders and belly, likely late in the stages of pregnancy. 

“Nah guys we shouldn't do this, it's wrong” said Chad, having sobered up on his walk there, but both of his mates ignored him entirely as they usually did. The two snuck up to the side of the slumbering animal, creeping up until they had hands right against her hide. 

Caleb looked left to Jaques, who gave him a stupid grin.

“One……..”

Twooooooooooo”

“STOP” a deep, mature voice commanded. They  froze. Behind them a man had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere

“What are y’all doing on my property this time’a night” he said in a thick southern drawl

“You kids doin’ some cow tipping?”

They were unable to move, each standing like statues in the cold, night air.

“My bad, y'all can move now” he waved his hand

Suddenly they could breathe again

“Sir, We didn't do anything!” pleaded Jaques

“Yeah sir! Nothing!” Caleb paroted 

The stranger sighed. Well I ca……..

“Well do anything, just don't call the cops on us! I have a scholarship and iy that happens...!” Caleb cried out, interupting

For a moment there Caleb thought he saw a sinister sparkle in the strangers eye, but it  was gone as fast as it had appeared, if it was ever there at all

“Well i've been needing work done round here recently, how's that sound?”

The sobered younger men agreed, reasoning  it was better shovel some hay than get caught breaking the law.

“Great, Follow me” 

He led the group to a large shed, heavy with the pungent smell of animals. They could hear cows mooing

I’ll need y’all to stick these round yer necks” the farmer pointed to three huge, steel cowbells, attached to leather harnesses that laying together on the barn floor.

“What?” exclaimed Caleb

“Put it on or do I need to tell the cops what I saw tonight?” the man said darkly

Begrudgingly, the three men lifted up the heavy metal bells and clasped them around their necks, struggling with the weight. 

“Don't we need better fitting ones? This is almost down to my belly button, and it's so heavy as shit!” complained Jaques

“Oh that's gonna right itself now don't you worry kid” the man clicked his fingers and all three of the jocks began to feel queasy. “Now y’all will stay here now wont you? I need to go get some things.” The man walked out of the barn, followed by an *click* as the door was locked.

The three jocks looked at each other, a mixture of fear and confusion on each of their faces. 

Suddenly, Caleb moaned.

“Oh guys, I feel really fucking weird” he said. He felt his balls tight against the fabric of his underpants, and when he looked down he could swear his bulge was bigger

“Guys, what’s happening?” His bulge was definitely getting bigger

“I don't know, but it's happening to me as well!” Jaques stared in horror as his sack grew with exponential speed until became so large it was visible against his baggy workout shorts 

“Ohhhh” moaned Caleb as his jeans tore apart with a RIIIP and his engorged sack spilled out, exposing himself for all his bros to see. 

Bonus pic

“What the fuck is that!” he exclaimed “It looks like a, a …”

“An udder”

Behind them, the farmer had returned with two buckets in hand. He was grinning

“The fuck is happening? I thought we were just gonna shovel some shit and be done?” the panic was clear in Caleb’s voice

“Never said nothing ‘bout that, told y’all that I needed work done. I ain't had no new muscle milk cows for a while, bout time I got myself a breeding pair or two” he smirked at the terrified jocks

“Speaking of” he looked over at Chad, who was growing a bulge of an entirely different sort than Caleb and Jaques. While their balls swelled to inhuman size, his member was growing longer and longer while his balls dropped lower and lower. His dick’s tip thinned, losing its mushroom-shape and becoming slender and pointed. Chad stared at his new member in horror, “I'm becoming a Bull” 

“There's a smart kid! and what are thems bout to be?”

“C..Cows''

The stranger walked over to Caleb, grabbed his member and gave it a firm tug. Orgasmic pleasure rolled over Caleb as thick musky cum squirted out his erect cock from his full sack, causing him to moan

“Hear that? yer gonna be a cow. Looks like you two are coming along nicely, rest of yer new nipples should be coming bout now”

And so they did, pushing out of the two jocks swollen new udders emerged round fleshy nipples, each was a size and thickness that made indistinguishable from what had been their loved cocks.

With the udders fully formed, the farmer tugged the two shell shocked jocks over buckets, his skilled hands milking them simultaneously. At first, hot jets of thick white pungent cum squirted out of their udders, but as the rhythmic tugging and squeezing and massaging continued, the content of these spurts became thinner and turned pink until what they excreted was entirely warm, creamy, muscle milk. The farmer dipped his finger into the liquid for a taste. Satisfied,  he then took the entire bucket and chugged, with each gulp his already toned frame grew harder and harder, his muscles expanding. “ ahh always best fresh.” he exclaimed, wiping his mouth of the warm, rich, creamy substance. 

the already muscular jocks began to bulk as well, though not solely with muscle. Their stomachs, pecs and asses swelled bulbously with muscle that was then smothered with a thick layer of wobbling fat. This expansion left the clothes of the men as little more than rags. Their fingers merged together, nails thickening and darkening as their thumbs sunk into their hands, all the while the same was happening to their feet concealed by their worn sneakers. Soon in place of hands and feet, the jocks had hooves 

As his body bulked up further, Caleb’s centre of gravity began to change. For a precious few seconds he wobbled and flailed, until ungraceful falling onto all fours. Try as he might, he would never again stand up. Jaques had better luck, keeping balance until he felt a harsh shove on his thick muscle ass and he too fell on his new hooves, humiliated.

Chad’s bull cock had been hard and throbbing all the while watching this, pumping him to the brim with raging bull hormones. He was overcome by the tide of  testosterone, surrendering to base animal instinct. Nothing mattered save eating sleeping and fucking. Gone was all of his higher brain functions His body expanded thicker and thicker as he grew to a size that put his two  bros to shame. From his head he felt a splitting pain as horns flushed out through his skin. No longer capable of speech, he roared in pain, a sound that deepened as it went on, becoming entirely animal as his vocal chords rearranged. He fell onto all fours, his feet and hands having been replaced with hooves and raw muscle.

As all three stood on all fours, the transformation accelerated. They felt as their organs rearranged in their massive bellies, their stomach splitting into five chambers as to better digest huge amounts of food. They lost control of their bowles, leaving piles of filth behind the widened holes. The taints of Jaques and Caleb sucked into their bodies, changing into the fertile wombs of muscle milk cows. The pheromones that they released drove the new bull into a frenzy and he mounted Caleb, who had only moments before been his best bro.

“I’ll leave you three too it, see ya tomorrow bright an early for milking” the farmer left the barn, not even bothering to even close the door. 

The skin of the young men began changing, it hardened, thickening into a rough and thick hide as short, pink hair sprouted across it. The last thing to change was their heads, noses moistened, becoming wide flat across their faces, eyelashes grew and hair fell from their heads. The men’s ears elongated into cow ears, being covered with the same hair that was now thick across their bodies. Their mouths pushed out, becoming snouts as their screams of lust as they mated lowered to base, animalistic grunts, moans then finally moo’s. Finally, Jaques and Caleb began to lose their minds, Chad having already succumbed to his base animal lust. Memories of being human disappeared from them, lives at school and at home, their crushes, their best and worst games everything was replaced with memories of gorging on grass, being milked (or mounting) and restfully sleeping in the barn. 

Despite this, there is evidently still present a bond between the three .The two new cows are inseparable. The same might be said of our new bull, though his mind would treat anything with a hole as an intimate friend

The Muscle milk produced at Green Valley farms is the best protein supplement on the market. Made free range, muscle milk cows are cared for in their every want to get the best possible product for you!

[lovebecomeshim]

hello! your zutara posting today has finally motivated me to ask this question because I came to atla very late(last year, to be specific) and I Love It Very Much but am 1000% out of the loop as far as why what remains of fandom (at least that I've seen among my friends) is so very strongly zutara. I'm not opposed to it per se I just don't really know what has driven it to apparently be such a popular ship? can you help me understand and maybe convert me a little bit?

Hey!! Your ICON! :D I can try but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be; however I AM sure someone a lot more competent will be willing to add to this. Either way, I’m glad you asked because my plan was to drag down as many people as possible with me.

*smacks the hood of zutara* this baby can fit so much mutual love and support!

This got so long, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to put it under a cut on mobile and it already got deleted once so I’m scared to mess with it lol. Moving on.

I’m gonna start this with a disclaimer that im on mobile so formatting is tricky and I’m also really new to atla in that I only completed my first watch through in like 2019??? So some of my info is all just based on what I’ve picked up from Discourse 👀 so anyway the sparknotes version: zutara was wildly popular from the beginning. To the point where the atla crew internally disagreed on which ship should be endgame. (Ex. Bryke [showrunners] asked the writers to rewrite The Southern Raiders to make Zuko seem less ideal for Katara than Aang [which failed, depending on who you ask]; the animation team purposefully created a visual parrallel between Oma and Shu in the Cave of Two Lovers and Zuko and Katara in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se in the Crossroads of Destiny; etc.)

The ship was popular enough that Bryke actually chose to display zk fanart at a con for the sole purpose of mocking the fans, but that’s neither here nor there. The entire episode Ember Island Players, while a love letter to/parody of the whole show, was an opportunity to address zutara’s viability as a canon pairing (while, again, mocking zutaras for romanticizing that catacombs scene). Point is! It’s always been popular but with it not being endgame, there’s got to be something that’s given it staying power.

And that’s honestly got to do with three things: their dynamic, thematic cohesion, and potential.

(You know what... you know what, it’s four things. The fourth is they’re so aesthetically pleasing together and individually. Like, they’re just good looking people [specifically when they’re grown but they’re also cute kids] and that absolutely doesn’t hurt) (but it’s not the Point, it’s just nice to point out sometimes)

The dynamic is hard to get into without also looking at the canon pairings, but I think I can do that without unnecessary bashing. It’s just that part of the magic of zutara is really highlighted by what they give to each other that their other relationships don’t.

First off, it’s classic enemies to (would be) lovers. The absolute truest form of it. It’s not too different from how CS started out: a rogue antagonist with a job to do—but no personal vendetta against the future love interest—who is deeply and emotionally invested in his personal storyline (revenge/redemption) with little regard for how it effects other people after his entire life and genuine good nature are marred by suffering, and a fierce warrior girl with a strong moral compass and her own personal investment in stopping him (protect her family and save the world doing it). Obviously frustration and animosity grew between them by the nature of them being on opposing sides, but that just lends itself to the sweetness of their later reconciliation.

The thing is that while they’re wildly different on the surface (he’s a hot-headed prince of a fascist regime who is trying to capture the Avatar to please his father; she’s a nurturing daughter of the chief who is trying to protect and train the Avatar in order to topple his father’s throne) they find out that they have so much more in common both in their experiences and their personalities.

(What follows is an excessive use of the word “both” and I’m sorry about that)(I can edit it. I can do that. That IS an option............)

They both have an innate sense of justice that they are determined to see done (zuko, at the war meeting, sticking up for the Earth Kingdom kid when the guards torment his family, choosing not to steal from the pregnant couple despite his circumstances, abiding by his word to leave the SWT should Aang come willingly, etc.; katara, literally.... at any point). They both have pretty one-track minds at accomplishing certain goals once they’ve put their mind to it, regardless of a lack of support in that endeavor (it goes without saying I guess, but zuko’s entire hunt; katara’s determination to get the earth benders to fight back, her determination to absolutely destroy Pakku until he agrees to teach her, etc.). They both lost their mothers at young ages. Their worlds are war-torn and traumatizing to them both, if in different ways, but that ultimately forces them to grow up too quickly to be wholly independent individuals. They both have issues with their fathers (for WILDLY different reasons, but). They both hold extreme prejudices that they need to learn to overcome (which ties into thematic cohesion)(bit like Lizzie and Darcy in that way but magnified by a million). They’re both extremely emotional and empathetic—which can and often does result in loud outbursts. Katara’s a bit better adjusted and can temper her anger for longer than S1 Zuko can, but they both feel that anger deeply and have no compunctions expressing it (Katara is, usually, more justified, particularly in S1. Again, S1 Zuko is severely maladjusted but at the point when they could’ve feasibly become a couple, he’s so much better off with the way he carries himself). They both struggle with feelings of inferiority in their bending abilities when confronted with prodigal benders like Aang and Azula, but have the work ethic required to double down and become two of the most powerful benders in the three remaining nations. This is a little more minor but it is a parrallel that appeals to some shippers that they both have these alter egos in the Painted Lady (notably fire nation coded) and the Blue Spirit (water tribe coded) that are pretty different from who they are day-to-day and are useful in accomplishing a purpose that they as themselves cannot.

(I’m.... I just realized that this could potentially get very long. Should I have made a slide show with bullet points??????)

Anyway, similar. I know there’s more but there’s literally so much to love about zutara that I’ll drive myself a little crazy trying to compile all the ways they’re similar. (Just gonna say that at this exact moment I went back to add more similarities.... so okay then)

Once they’ve reconciled, we see how all of these things only lend themselves to a deeper intimacy together than they share with literally anyone else. There’s a steady partnership that positions them as the mom/dad of the gaang, while also providing the support necessary to allow the other to not have to carry so much responsibility. A lot of zutaras will point out how zuko is actually depicted doing the more domestic chores that are normally relegated to Katara once he joins the gaang, since the others in the group are two 12-year-olds and sokka. The one that sticks out the most is how he makes tea for the group and then serves them, while Katara is able to just relax with her friends around the fire. Fanon expands upon this a lot to Zuko helping with the laundry or the cooking or whatever else needs doing since he, as a once-refugee, is used to doing his own domestic tasks. Before Zuko joined, Katara was the one mothering everyone, sewing for them, cooking for them, etc. She’s always tending to the needs of the group, and that includes emotionally. She does the emotional labor for the gaang 99% of the time, but when she’s the one falling apart, she’s usually doing it alone and without the comfort that she normally provides for others. Until Zuko. And that’s before they’re even friends.

Which is WHY people romanticize the catacombs of Ba Sing Se so much. Katara is verbally attacking Zuko out of her own righteous anger but also her own prejudice when Zuko, surprisingly, chooses to be vulnerable with her. He’s been on a journey that’s opened his eyes a bit, but he’s never actively chosen to expose the rawest parts of his past to anyone. But for some reason he chooses to do that with Katara of all people. While she’s yelling at him. He sees her humanity, and for once can look past his prejudice and empathize with her. And this time, when she breaks down, she gets to be comforted. Katara normally talks about her mother when she’s trying to explain to someone else that she sees and understands they’re pain, as a form of comfort to them. Here, Zuko uses the exact same tactic. He sees her and he understands. And for zuko? He’s not being shut down. He’s allowed to articulate his pain regarding his mother without being ignored and made to internalize it, and he’s allowed to process how he feels about his scar out loud without being told that he deserved it. And then he lets her touch his scar, something we’ve seen him actively avoid before. He’s completely open to her and she’s completely open to him and all it took was one five minute conversation. She was about to use the little bit of Spirit water that she had, that she was saving for something Important, to heal the scar that still daily causes him pain just because they had, somehow, connected.

Plus there’s the whole parallel to the star-crossed lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people—

And then zuko messes up, he regresses, he gets what he wants and he HATES it. And the sense of justice he had as a child has been restored to him against his will and he can’t think of anything he wants to do more than the Right Thing, so he joins team avatar. Before he does that though, we get to see his relationship with Mai, which is where comparison really comes in. And what we see is Zuko, fresh off of his encounter with Katara in the catacombs, trying to be emotionally honest with Mai... and getting shut down and dismissed. Which is just how Mai is and it’s fine, but not for Zuko. Still, he keeps trying, and he keeps getting ignored or scoffed at or yelled at. Which is really a larger symbol for how he doesn’t fit in his old life anymore, but again that’s about thematic cohesion. He tries to articulate his anxieties about returning home, he tries to make romantic gestures, he tries to explain how morally conflicted he’s feeling—and Mai diverts to some kind of physical affection to shut him up and a parting comment that is pretty much always, in essence, “I don’t wanna talk about this.” So they don’t. On the other hand, once zuko and Katara are friends, we see him again emotionally distraught and caught up in his anxieties about facing Iroh, and it’s Katara who comes to him and listens to him and comforts and encourages him.

Similarly, we have Aang clamming up and getting uncomfortable whenever Katara shows any negative emotion, usually resulting in him making excuses or running away. Or, in the case of the Southern Raiders, lecturing her on how she needs to just let go of her anger about her mother’s murder. People have talked this episode to death and usually better than I ever could, so imma... keep it brief. There’s a serious disconnect between Aang and Katara in his ability to empathize with Katara and her needs that has her tamping down her vulnerability and amping up her anger. He tells her that he was able to forgive his people’s genocide and appa’s kidnapping (petnapping? Theft??), which is blatantly not true but also not an entirely equal parrallel to Katara’s situation, and continues making these little remarks throughout the episode. But it’s Zuko that Katara opens up to. It’s with him that she’s able to talk about the most traumatic day of her life, and it’s with him that she’s able to get the closure she needs, cementing their bond as friends and partners. This disagreement between Aang and Katara is then... never resolved. They just never bring it up and hear what the other is saying.

There’s a fic called The Portraits of Ember Island that has a line that so completely sums up the heart of the matter for why people love their dynamic. For context, zuko has woken up early to help Katara with the cooking and they spend the whole time just letting one another talk, and zuko stops to ask why she always just lets him talk. And so she stops to ask why he’s always helping, and it goes as follows:

There’s just... so much mutual support! Trust! Intimacy!! And it just continues like that from the Southern Raiders on, listening to each other, advising each other, watching each other’s backs! And then! Literally saving each other’s lives!! I will never be over the last Agni kai. Not ever. Zuko may have been willing to jump in front of lightning for anyone, but he actually did it for Katara. And in a show, that’s the thing that really matters. It’s a fulfilled trope usually exclusively applied to romantic pairings, and it ended up applying to Zuko and Katara. And then she ran out into the middle of a fight with tunnel vision just to get to him.

Also!! Also Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling rocks at the Western Air Temple!! And Katara catching him as he fell from the war balloon that he fought Azula on!! Before they’re even getting along, they’re the ones reaching for each other. They come to this place of equal ground, as partners, who watch each other’s backs, call each other out but still listen attentively and understand, and provide the support that the other has been sorely lacking up until they knew each other (whether that be from lack of effort or lack of understanding from others, or an unwillingness to accept it for themselves).

Then, trailing along under the surface of this, we see the themes of the show totally embodied by Zuko and Katara as individuals and in their relationship to one another. There’s a YouTuber, sneezyreviews, who has a, like, 2-hour explanation on why she not only loves zutara but also believes that their endgame would’ve actually elevated the writing of atla to new levels particularly because of thematic cohesion and resolved character arcs. It’s the zutara dissertation I never knew I needed, and it’s funny and eloquent and effective, so I’m just going to sum up her section on thematic cohesion to the best of my abilities and then link it for whenever you have the time. And I HIGHLY recommend it, especially if you want a full understanding of what makes zutara so great and gives it such longevity.

Guru pathik has a line that goes something like this: separation is an illusion; things that seem different are just two parts of the same whole. Iroh also tells Zuko something similar: balance and strength are achieved when the different nations come together and influence one another and celebrate what makes them each unique. And this lesson is a massive central arc that both Zuko and Katara go through, moving past a black-and-white, good guys-vs-bad guys, us-vs-them mentality and into a greyer, more nuanced view of the world. Zuko sees the fire nation from an entirely new perspective and while he still loves and hopes for his nations future, he surrenders his blind loyalty to them in exchange for an unflinching loyalty to peace and love. Katara too had to come to terms with the fact that cruel people exist in the earth kingdom and water tribes, while some fire nation citizens are just regular, kind people who also need and deserve to have someone speak on their behalf. And this is honed in directly on how they view each other. They grow in their individual journeys to be open to the humanity in the other and then, once they’ve found that, they’re able to grow more in compassion for others in a beautiful feedback loop. And this is all matched in the symbolism repeatedly and intentionally associated with them in canon: sun and moon, fire and water, yin and yang, Oma and Shu who found love despite their warring nations. Their individual arcs are completed in each other and complement the themes of atla beautifully.

The canon pairs... just don’t. Which, again, is fine. But the very things that give atla longevity and popularity are anchored in zutara. Kat@ang doesn’t accomplish this. They’re... nice. Sweet. Especially when you erase a good portion of their interactions in S3. It could’ve been just a sweet love story. (Personally, the dynamic between toph and aang accomplish the same thing that zutara does, with complementary personalities that fulfill the theme of opposites blending in harmony) M@iko, on the other hand, is less sweet but I think wasn’t even supposed to last. Zuko’s relationship with Mai seems to represent his relationship with his old life as a whole. He can’t be emotionally vulnerable, he’s goaded into abusing his privileges, his agency and opinions aren’t respected. They just don’t have common ground with which to discuss anything that matters, so they don’t. As far as themes, the relationship doesn’t fit with atla. It’s zuko returning to and sticking with what is (on the surface) like him, what’s expected. Fire nation with fire nation. Fluid water bender with the flexible air bender. Like with like, separated from what is different and challenging and complementary.

And all of these things combined of course lead to the potential for the ship. I don’t know how familiar you are with the post-atla canon but... well, miss “I will never turn my back on people who need me”, miss “I don’t want to heal! I want to fight!” ends up living quietly in the SWT as a designated healer who turns a blind eye to the water tribe civil war happening right outside her front door. Which can be fine! People change! Some people just wanna stay inside. I just wanna stay inside! But the potential future for zutara is so much more satisfying, with Katara becoming the most unconventional Fire Lady the uppity old cads who are stuck on the old ways have ever seen. Fanon has her serving as a voice for the other nations within a kingdom at the point of its biggest political upheaval, as a confidante to Zuko who can actually help him while he’s trying to figure out how to move forward and make reparations. They have the opportunity, together, to accomplish what they both have set on their hearts to fight for: positive change that lends itself to harmony and balance. And the steambabies! A popular headcanon is that their firstborn daughter, the crown princess, is actually a waterbender, which causes such an uproar among the people who are adamantly clinging to the old ways. It’s just a future full of potential to be forces for good together, full of trust, intimacy, joy. The exact era of peace and love and balance that zuko announces that he intends to ring in with the start of his reign as Fire Lord is, again, magnified by the very personal zutara relationship. And we love to see it.

tl;dr zutara isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t vibe with it. Some are nostalgic. Some love the canon they grew up with. Some have been disappointed for years. Some just see themselves in other characters and want their happiness instead. Whatever the reason, that’s fine. But for me, I love the way these two, from the moment they give each other a fair chance, are able to lower their walls and prejudices to see the other for the kindred spirits they are. They see each other’s humanity, and their response is to pour out love and support and compassion. I love that they’re a power couple in battle. I love the symbolism and, honestly, soulmatism that colors their every interaction. I love that they embody the whole storyline of atla in their relationship and how it develops, which is notably why their seasonal arcs always culminate in each finale with how they relate to one another. I love that zuko adopting a waterbending move is what actually saves his life and then katara’s. I love the chemistry! And I love the future they could’ve had, instead of the ones they were given.

So, in conclusion: I just think they’re neat and I hope you do too, at least a little bit. Even if it’s just respectfully from a disinterested distance cause you do you. And now here is the video I mentioned. I’m sorry this post got so long and then I gave you an even longer homework assignment, but I can’t recommend it enough. She says it all better than I can.

[insomniousluci]

Brotherly Competition

-Beel and Belphie both want MC to themselves, but end up sharing-

I stood in front of the mirror, stark naked. Striking a seductive pose, I snapped a photo with my D.D.D.

“Hey, want to come over?” I typed, smiling deviously as I sent the message to Belphie. I lay down on my bed and waited for a response, hoping I had caught him before he fell asleep for the night.

A few moments passed before I heard footsteps approaching. I couldn’t help but smirk to myself at the thought of Belphie coming straight to my room without even responding to the text. I pulled the blankets up just enough to cover up the most explicit parts of my body, looking to the door, waiting for the demon to enter any moment. As the knob turned and the door swung open, I realized I was mistaken.

“Hey, do you know where Lucifer put the—“ Beel barged in, and then froze, standing in the door way. I stared back at him, the color leaving my face.

“I, uh....I was wondering if you knew where Lucifer put the hellfire spicy chips. The ones I asked for from the store.” He looked me up and down, rubbing his stomach.

“No, Beel. I don’t know. Why can’t you knock before just busting in here?” I sat up and wrapped the blanket tightly around myself, scowling at him. He walked over and sat down beside me, smiling sweetly.

“Sorry, next time I’ll be more careful.” Beel apologized.

“Well, what are you doing? Go find your chips!” I waved my hand toward the door, just wanting the embarrassing moment to end.

“Huh? Oh, yeah...the chips...” he was still eyeing me, a different kind of hunger in his gaze. “I’ll find them later.” He smirked, leaning in to kiss me. I closed my eyes as he planted his lips against mine firmly, his large hands pulling me closer. I knew I should protest, but I couldn’t resist. I crawled into his lap, straddling him as the blanket fell to the floor. His hands grasped me tightly, one on my behind and one in my hair as the kiss became more aggressive.

Beel began kissing and licking my neck and jaw, his hot breath tickling my skin. I sighed in pleasure and began to undress him, undoing his pants as he pulled his shirt over his head. Once he was stripped down I started stroking his big cock, feeling it grow even more in my hand, which was very small by comparison.

He released a breathy groan into my ear as I stroked him, then started planting kisses all over my shoulder and collarbone, taking a nibble here and there. I was so happy to please him, I had totally forgotten about my previous arrangement. That is, until I heard the door open again. I turned my head to see Belphie standing in the door way now, arms crossed.

“Is this some kind of prank? What the hell?” He scowled, glaring at Beel and I.

“Belphie...! What are you doing here?” Beel asked, surprisingly calm despite the position we had been caught in.

“I was invited.” Belphie held up his D.D.D to reveal my photo and message. I shook my head and moved away from Beel, trying to cover myself as much as possible. Sitting there in the nude wasn’t make the situation any less awkward.

“Sorry, Belphie...Beel showed up and...I don’t know, things just got out of hand.” I shrugged.

“What do you mean ‘out of hand’?” Beel frowned. “Are you saying you didn’t like it?”

“No, Beel! I did, I did. I just—“

“So you’d rather have Beel then?” Belphie scoffed.

“No! That’s not what I—“

“So you like Belphie better?” Beel interrupted.

“You know what? Forget it. Have fun together.” Belphie turned toward the door.

“No, Belphie, I’m leaving. You stay.” Beel insisted.

“Would you both just stop!” I shouted, causing both demons to look at me in surprise. Belphie was still scowling, and Beel just looked confused. “Please stop. Maybe...”

“Maybe what?” The twins asked in unison. I hated it when they did that.

“Maybe you can both stay.”

The boys looked at each other and back to me. Belphie walked toward me now, taking my hand. He sat beside me on the bed and pulled me close to him, smirking.

“You sent that photo to me. You asked me to come over. So I want you to myself.” He said bluntly, his hand planted firmly on my bare thigh. Just then I felt Beel slide closer to me as well, using his strong hand to turn my head toward him.

“I was here first. And you know that once I start indulging, it’s not fair to ask me to just stop. Besides...” he trailed off.

“Besides what?” Belphie grumbled.

“Besides...I’ll fuck you better than he will.” Beel said. I instantly blushed, shocked by his bold promise. But before I could speak, I felt Belphie’s hand slip in between my legs, rubbing me slowly but firmly. I turned my attention to him, starting to lose my will to fight either of them any longer.

“You want me, right?” Belphie asked in a soft, seductive voice. I nodded, but then Beel took my face in his hand again and before I could protest he pulled me into another passionate kiss. Now I was officially done fighting as one brother teased me with his fingers while the other kissed me. I felt Belphie’s hand pull away and suddenly he pushed my legs apart. He was on his knees now, using his mouth to please me down below. Beel began teasing my nipples with his fingers while he sucked on my neck, both of the boys making me wet with their tongues.

I moaned softly at first, and then louder as Belphie’s tongue explored every sensitive spot. I reached over to continue stroking Beel’s cock as I was before, and he let out a sigh of pleasure. Belphie quickly stripped himself down and began stroking himself as well. As Belphie continued to pleasure me with his tongue and Beel began licking and sucking on my nipples, I felt the tension rising throughout. I couldn’t hold back, and I gave in to an intense orgasm. I moaned out loud as the quick spasms shot through my whole body.

“See? You needed me here.” Belphie teased, crawling back up onto the bed and laying on his back.

“My turn.” Beel interjected, standing up. He flipped me over so that I was on all fours, Belphie laying beneath me. Beel began pressing his hard cock into me, grinding against me. I looked at Belphie who was still stroking himself as he watched. Beel gripped my ass as he slowly slid his big cock inside me, causing me to whimper in pleasure. I looked back and watched his focused expression as he began thrusting, making his way deeper each time.

Belphie took my hand and guided it toward his cock as he sat up in front of me, watching my expression as Beel fucked me harder. I groaned loudly as the gluttonous demon’s cock hit my deepest places over and over. I squeezed Belphie’s cock firmly and stroked it quickly, his face soon becoming twisted in pleasure as well. He leaned in to kiss me, and our moans became intertwined as I was pounded from behind while jerking him off. Beel’s gruff breaths grew louder as well, harsh groans escaping his lips each time his cock slammed into me. I could feel his dick pulsing inside of me, but he fucked me even harder, diligently rubbing against my most sensitive spot.

“Ah...ah! I’m gonna cum...Beel...” I moaned, my legs quaking in anticipation. I lost my breath as I was overcome with another intense wave of ecstasy, cumming hard with the demon’s cock buried deep inside. But Beel didn’t stop, he continued thrusting as I spasmed around him, fucking me quickly. Finally he erupted as well, hot cum spilling out and filling me up. He moaned out loud and then sighed in relief as his huge, warm load made a mess of both of us.

Before I could even catch my breath, Belphie positioned himself so that his cock was prodding my hole, and he looked at me with a sinful gleam in his eyes. He thrust up into me and started fucking me, pulling me down as he shoved his hips upward. I gasped a little each time he slammed into me, still sensitive from the last orgasm. Beel came from behind and was once again trailing his wet tongue all over my neck and shoulders, nibbling and leaving hickeys as he went. Belphie moaned softly as he picked up the pace, thrusting harder. I rocked my hips as well, grinding against him each time he was fully sheathed inside. He groaned louder, his hands exploring my body as I rode his big cock. Beel’s arms wrapped around me and his fingers teased me on the outside while Belphie’s cock was buried deep inside.

“Fuck...” Belphie exhaled as I twisted my hips in circles, taking control now as I bounced up and down on top of him. He threw his head back and moaned loudly, his cock twitching. Beel’s hand lingered up the back of my neck and into my hair, pulling it into his grasp. I tried to turn my head to look at him but he quickly pulled my head to the side, biting my now exposed neck. He sucked and left marks all over, sending chills through me. Belphie grabbed me once more and held me in place as he hammered his cock upwards, fucking me as hard as he could. His breath halted as he came, filling me all up with his own load. I was overcome with the warm sensation of having both twins’ cum filling me and slowly running down my thighs.

The three of us caught our breath and unsurprisingly, Belphie was the first to pass out. Beel laid beside him, motioning for me to squeeze in the middle. It looked like I’d be sharing my bed all night with the twins. But they didn’t seem to mind, so I didn’t either.

[literali1110]

WIP game

Thanks @ironwingblog and @cfr749 for tagging me. No one seems to be following the rules so I'm not reposting them lol, just sharing some of a (unedited) WIP tentatively called Exposure Therapy:

“So that’s why I’m not sure about Tanner. I want to push through this, I want to try again. But I think...maybe I’m not ready yet. I want to make sure I’m going out with him for the right reasons, and not because I need to prove to myself that I can. I think maybe I need more exposure therapy before I date again.” Lucy is slightly surprised herself when she arrives at that conclusion. Talking things through out loud really does help. 

Tim furrows his brows in confusion, “How’s that?”

“Exposure therapy involves exposing the patient to their anxiety source without the intention to cause any danger in order to help them overcome their anxiety or distress,” the definition rolls off Lucy’s tongue as easily as it would have during her college days.

Tim shakes his head at her, “Yeah, I know what exposure therapy is. Look, Lucy, what happened to you was...unimaginable. It takes time to recover from trauma. And I think with the right guy - someone understanding, and trustworthy - you could take things slow, at a pace you’re comfortable with. Maybe-- maybe going out with Tanner could help you move past this. As long as you do your research first - find someone who can vouch for him.”

“But that’s just it,” Lucy stresses, “I don’t feel like I can trust Tanner...or anyone that I don’t already know…” An idea had begun to form in her mind a few minutes back, and she’s not sure if she should even bring it up with Tim, or how he’d react.

But he must pick up on something because he tilts his head at her, suspicious, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Lucy decides to just rip the bandaid off. “I was just thinking...maybe you’d be willing to help me with this?”

Tagging @poppypickle @farfarawaygirl @jgoose13 @jakelovesamy @toews-a-peek @crose84 and whoever else wants!

[theheartofrelationshipcounseling]

Why Do I Need Constant Reassurance In A Relationship

Relationship anxiety is normal and can be part of a healthy relationship. When your partner leaves on a trip for an extended period, or you haven’t yet reconciled from a fight, you may feel on edge, waiting for a signal that will reassure you everything is okay.

But what if your relationship anxiety feels like too much? What if it makes you:

Frequently doubt your partner and overanalyze their actions?

Worry about your relationship even when there’s nothing amiss?

Seek frequent reassurance from your partner, friends, and family about your relationship?

Check for signs that your partner still loves you?

Feel exhausted by yourself and the worry you feel?

Understanding Relationship Anxiety

Your partner gave you a look this morning, which triggers doubt in your mind that he’s still in love with you. The panic this thought causes is nearly unbearable (anxiety), so you call your best friend (action), who reassures you that your partner loves you. You feel much better, but only for a few hours before the doubt returns. Why is that?

The answer may surprise you: your efforts to get rid of your anxiety accidentally reinforced what you were feeling. You taught your brain that because you took action to get rid of the anxiety, it should pay attention to it. Over time, your brain learns that your relationship doubts are worth paying attention to, and if they’re worth paying attention to, it must be because they are realistic, valid, and credible fears.

The Cycle of Relationship Anxiety

1. Something triggers anxiety. “My partner didn’t say I love you this morning. Is he angry with me? Is he thinking of ending things?”

2. You take action. “I’ll have a glass of wine/ read relationship self-help blogs/ text him first.”

3. You feel temporarily relieved because you feel relaxed, get the reassurance that you need (the blog says, “he’s probably stressed about work”), or successfully rationalize your anxiety away (“I don’t need him anyway”).

4. Because you took action, your brain thinks there must have been danger. It learns to take your anxiety seriously and becomes more sensitized as it scans for “threats” to your relationship.

5. Because your brain is looking harder for them, more “threats” are discovered. Your relationship anxiety occurs more frequently.

Overcoming Relationship Anxiety

The most extreme form of relationship anxiety is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) called relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder. However, you don’t need a diagnosis to benefit from the principles of OCD treatment (called Exposure and Response Prevention) to overcome your relationship anxiety.

Breaking this cycle for good is a simple, two-step process, but can be painful and frightening and should be done under the guidance of a licensed therapist.

Breaking the Cycle Exercise

(1) Wait for a trigger or imagine one. Expose yourself to the doubt you have about your relationship and the fear it causes. (“My partner is annoyed! Does she secretly hate me?”)

(2) Prevent yourself from taking action to lessen your anxiety about it. (“I’m going to sit here and be with the feeling instead of taking action. I am not going to reassure myself or rationalize these thoughts away.”)

(3) Sit with the doubt you have. Stop trying to fix it. Stop trying to feel less anxious. In fact, ask for more anxiety. Say to yourself, “I hope I am scared about this forever.” Accept your worst what-ifs as a possibility.

(4) As you stay in this place of letting yourself be as anxious as possible without taking action, your anxiety will naturally rise, peak, and fall. Whether it takes 5, 15, or 90 minutes, sitting with your fear in one-pointed concentration and not letting yourself do anything else will eventually give way to boredom that will then compete for your attention. Stay with it until your anxiety is half or less of the intensity it was when you started.

It may feel utterly counterintuitive to sit with the anxiety, lean into the doubt, and refuse to seek reassurance about your worst fears. Research shows this practice to be one of the most helpful methods of overcoming relationship anxiety, and it may be exactly what you need. This process teaches your brain that your fears are not such a big deal. In turn, your brain learns to give your doubts less emotional weight.

Anxiety attacks what’s most important to you; if you have relationship anxiety, it’s because you value your relationship highly. You may have past trauma that makes it hard to trust you are loved. Our highly-trained and empathetic therapists have the gentleness and expertise to help you overcome feeling disconnected from your partner, anxious, and looking for answers.

There’s hope. We are here for you, as a couple or individually. Reach out to us to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.