#i once went on a walk at 3am listening to music and wandering the streets with these giant headphones on

[balladofsallyrose]

japan's nightporter made me so depressed in july 2020, and it's hard to listen to

[c-c-cherry]

Bucci Gang Headcanons!!!

I’m not really one to usually post this kind of stuff, but these are some lil headcanons my pal @jjadegreen and I have come up with while stuck in the same house during the quarantine!! 

These literally range from *probably would happen* to *fucking crack* so y’all have been warned...

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Giorno is one of those people that has a secret sweet-tooth. Like. An insane one where if he actually decides to indulge in it he cannot fucking stop. 

When he does go overboard, it’s usually because Bruno got his favourite ice cream flavour from the store and it’s always at some ungodly hour of the night.

He usually blames it on Mista somehow. Accidentally ate the entire tub of ice cream at 3am? No biggie. Just put the spoon on Mista’s bedside table while he’s asleep! 

Everyone blames Mista for it EVERY TIME and now he’s not allowed to eat any ice cream when they buy it. Mista thinks it’s the Sex Pistols because he swears he doesn’t remember doing it. 

Giorno just sits there like *sweats* “yeah uh no it had to be Mista, right? There’s definitely no one else it could be, right? Right??”

One time Abbacchio caught him in the act at like 4am and they have yet to bring it up.

He would spill Giorno’s big secret, but he really likes to see Mista suffer.

Narancia wears skirts sometimes and it’s not a big deal. He vibes, they all just vibe. No toxic masculinity here. 

Narancia is genuinely afraid of those “IF YOU DO NOT SEND TO 10 PEOPLE THIS WILL APPEAR AT THE END OF YOUR BED AT 3AM” emails.

One time he couldn’t do it because Bruno took his phone away and he sat in bed all night fucking trembling in fear of what chain mail monster would eat his face off this time.

Abbacchio hates geese. No one knows why. Not even Bruno.

Narancia’s real stand name IS Aerosmith, but he’s dead set on calling it Lil’ Bomber because “that’s his rapper name.”

Mista is lactose intolerant but he doesn’t know because he just thinks it’s normal to feel excruciating pain when you eat ice cream. 

“Like how pineapples hurt your mouth when you eat them.” -Mista probably

Bruno literally had to take him to the hospital one night because he inhaled too much ice cream and would not stop throwing up and Mista was like “wait this doesn’t happen to you??”

Trish hates butterflies because *fun fact!* butterflies often feed on not only nectar and fruit, but DECAYING CORPSES of animals! 

When she was a kid, she was walking in some alleyway and ran into a dead animal covered in butterflies. One landed on her arm and she fucking screamed. She will never look at them the same ever again...

Giorno loves to make things into butterflies when they all spend time together, and Trish literally has to suppress a shudder every time one goes near her.

Fugo is one of those people that is basically not afraid of anything, but when a fucking bee comes near him he will LOSE IT. He’s one of those people that will have to get up and run away from a bee when it flies near him.

If you tell him that it will leave him alone if he stops moving, he will punch you.

Giorno likes to make shit into bees sometimes just to fuck with him

Bruno does not like dogs. It probably stems from some childhood experience that went sour, but he does not care. He will be stone-faced during any mission or situation, but if a dog tries to jump up and greet him he will freak. The fuck. Out.

One time Narancia and Mista brought home a dog from the streets and mama Bruno was like “NOPE” and zipped himself out of existence.

Abbacchio found him locked in the closet under the stairs when he got home and made them get rid of it.

Leone was more of a cat person anyway.

Abbacchio eats raw pasta.

Fugo plays chess with himself. When Giorno joins the team he’s like “ugh finally an intellectual” but Giorno has literally never seen a fucking chess board in his life and is too scared to tell Fugo so he just keeps making up excuses as to why he doesn’t “have time” to play chess with him today.

Mista doesn’t shower but he has a BOMB-ass face-care routine. Even Trish is jealous. His face? Baby soft? Ten out of ten. The rest of him? Axe body spray out of ten.

Narancia went through a goth phase pre-canon. Abbacchio was not happy because Bruno kept referring to him as “little Abba” but he let Narancia use his good lipstick anyway.

Mista found his special hat in a street gutter on a rainy day and it matched his sweater so he decided to just keep it. Abbacchio does Trish’s makeup. They go to Sephora together. I don’t make the rules.

Giorno never really told anyone (besides Bruno) that he got his stand naturally so they all assume he got it from Polpo’s lighter and when he mentioned something off-hand about “when I was a kid Gold and I…” everyone’s just like “bitch hold up-”

Abbacchio wears coloured contacts and his ass literally cannot see without them. 

Yes they are expensive as fuck. He blows half his pay-check on them every month. 

One time he lost them right before a mission so he had to pull out his heavy prescription glasses from like 8th grade. They literally looked like this.

I think you can imagine the outcome

Growing up, Giorno only listened to three songs. 

The only reason he had access to these songs was because he found a really old Walkman on the side of the road when he was wandering around once. The tape only had three songs on it; Dancing Queen, It's Raining Men, and some song by Mozart. These were the three songs of Giorno’s childhood. 

He still has it and likes to listen to the tape when he gets sad

Narancia doesn’t know what a period is. Neither does Mista. 

Bruno forces everyone into the living room after overhearing this and makes them all watch one of those really awkward sex-ed videos from the 90s (you know the ones)

It was one of the worst days of their lives

They still have the tape and Narancia sometimes slips it in the VHS player when they all least expect it just to fuck with everyone

Bruno once held a capo meeting at their house (biggest mistake of his life) and all you could heard blasting through the walls of the other room was “YoUr bOdy MiGht Be gOiNg tHrOuGh sOmE cHaNgEs, fOr eXaMpLe yOuR P-”

On that note, Giorno was definitely that one kid who took notes during Sex-Ed

Abbacchio listens to Avril Lavigne

Giorno shaves his arms. It kind of started by accident but now he literally cannot stop or else his arms will look completely fucked up

Bruno has sensitive teeth. He can’t drink water that’s too cold cause it hurts his mouth. Abbacchio makes him tea :)

Fugo plays piano to help him with his anger. He would say that he plays saxophone too, but it’s more like violently screeching into the mouthpiece instead of actually playing it.

Narancia thinks that lesbian is a nationality

Even though Giorno lived in Japan for just a couple years, he’s still pretty fluent in the language because his mother would only speak Japanese to him growing up

The gang has no idea that Giorno is Japanese and when a foreigner is struggling Giorno just swoops in with perfect Japanese and they’re all just really confused.

Giorno doesn’t cry during movies or TV shows, but he’s one of those people who fucking BAWLS during video game credits

Mista and Narancia beat Ocarina of Time together and Giorno was watching from the sidelines and AS SOON as the credits started rolling there were tears.

When KK Slider starts to sing in Animal Crossing New Horizons and your character is brought into a music void and the credits start rolling he tears up just a little bit

Mista is squeamish around dead bugs. Not live ones. Dead ones and solely dead ones

Mista and Trish go thrifting. Mista goes to check the pockets of clothes for spare cash (cause he’s a broke bitch) and Trish goes to buy clothes

Everyone thinks that Mista doesn’t change his clothes but he actually just buys like 7 of the same outfit

Mista sneezes like a white sports dad. You know the sneeze.

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Bonus Bruabba shit because Jade and I always go fucking HARD when talking about our local mafia dads:

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Bruno ties up the little strings on Abbacchio’s tiddy shirt every morning.

They got promise rings. Leone’s trying to find a nice time to actually propose but the gang keeps fucking it up every time they try to go on a nice date together

Bruno and Leone watch thunderstorms together

-The rest of the bucci gang stay inside and play monopoly or something when’s its stormy but these two bring out blankets and sit on the front porch and just be all soft and shit watching the lightning light up the sky and listening to the rain on the roof above them.

Bucciarati and Abbacchio have been mistaken as the following: 

Bruno as a woman and Abbacchio as a man. Abbacchio as a woman and Bruno as a man. Two lesbians. But never an actual gay couple.

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Yeah so I have no idea what that was. These were taken from a google doc we have together that’s just all these jumbled, crack-filled headcanons just for fun. I’m sure you can sense the pure chaos in this. 

Go give my dude @jjadegreen a hello, sis made most of these!

uhhh let us know if you want any more from any other parts. Cause y’all know we probably got some. <3

[softschofield]

the convoy boys (before and) after the war, part two - malky ♡

part one (rossi and cooke): x

parry/malky: x

moodboard: x

malky is the one to struggle the most after the war, though none of his friends ever know until he off-handedly and sweetly mentions the full extent of his trauma and they’re all taken aback by the pure horror of it. 

he’d been one of the few to come from a happy home: his whole family living in two-up-two-down row houses on the same street in newcastle-upon-tyne, his parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins; a neighbourhood who knew and loved him, stores run by people who’d watched him grow up, a family that numbered half the city; christmases where the whole neighbourhood would bring their dining room tables out onto the street for one big party if the weather was fair, and where they’d cram into each other’s houses for singing and dancing and joyous, clumsy piano performances if the weather was snowy. 

those christmas gatherings were noisy, beautiful things; his parents would let him have a little glass of brandy, and it would fall to him to watch over the younger children and play with them, and often a cheer would go up somewhere near midnight and he’d be encouraged to plod out a few bad piano songs with his half-year training (that his parents had pooled their savings into) so everyone could sing along; and once it got late and the adults started to get drunk, malky would find a spare seat on the couch and watch the chaos with a shy, happy little smile and feel the warmth in his heart at the sight of all these people he loved and who loved him. 

his childhood was warm, and soft, and happy, and crowded. he was never lonely, but he was also never alone, and so he came to love and value quiet, peaceful moments by himself. he found a love for pressing flowers, one that came to mean calm and softness, and his bedroom was always filled with flowers, and he’d walk for hours along the river and through meadows and woods. when he was sixteen, he started working at a book binder’s for a half-deaf, grumpy old man, and that peace, that being able to just work at something in the quiet for hours at a time, became something he loved with all his heart. 

when the war came around, he was still living in his childhood bedroom with his parents. he’d never had any reason to want to move out; he was happy, and to all the neighbourhood he was still the baby of the family. he wanted to do his duty, in a vague, half-formed, guilty sort of war - he wanted to help his country, wanted to have an adventure, wanted to make new friends. but he never really expected to enlist, knew it would break his parents’ hearts. 

then conscription was introduced in 1916, and he had no choice. he was called up, assigned to the worcestershire regiment at random, given a few months of training that tore at the soft skin of his hands that were never made to fire a rifle, and shipped off to france as a replacement. 

almost immediately he and rossi formed a bond. malky had never had to go very far out of his way to make friends - in newcastle, you fell over them almost by accident wherever you went - and he was a little overwhelmed at the front. that first night, with shells rumbling in the distance and boys murmuring in the dark around him and little fires hidden under raincoats to avoid being seen by german planes, malky wandered between the little groups aimlessly. he’d catch the eye of someone, and smile hopefully and start to walk over to them, only to have them turn away and go back to talking to someone else. he’d hover over a group and try to think up something to say, and be snapped at. he wandered, helpless and dispirited and blushing, until a boy sitting by himself beside a little fire called him over in a gruff, quiet voice. there was nothing wrong with him, no reason he’d be by himself - he could have been the centre of a group if he’d wanted to be. but, evidently, he didn’t want that. 

and so, malky and rossi became the founding members of the convoy boys - because rossi, patron saint of waifs and strays, of the unwanted and the mocked and the outcasts, had called malky over. he’d mostly expected to be annoyed by the boy, to just keep him company for the evening until he got more settled in and could stand on his own two feet; and when malky first sat down beside him at the fire, where rossi was fiddling away at a part of a radio from headquarters, he’d hardly looked at him. but malky, gentle and unexpectedly witty in a delightfully deadpan way and northern to the core, had quickly established himself as an equal, and from then on it was malky and rossi. 

after that, they’d adopted others into their little group and taken them under their wing - cooke, too insecure and too desperate to prove himself to easily make friends; butler, too stand-offish and idealistic; jondalar, for obvious reasons. jondalar quickly became a leader of the group, and even he didn’t entirely realise that malky another of them - he was more than happy to settle into the background, to let others take centre stage, but he was no less one of the three leaders, one of the hearts of the group: he was the comforter, the one who gently soothed and patched up small wounds, the one who listened when someone had to break away from the group and stumble into the dark and weep about home and all the horror and trauma looming over them, the one who held them when they needed a soft, tender touch.

and then, after the war, he realised that while he’d been doing that for everyone else, no one had been doing it for him. he suffered afterwards in a similar way to kilgour - but while kilgour was aware of his own trauma, while he tried to hide it with cheerfulness and big smiles and the complete dismissal of his pain, malky was genuinely unaware that there was something wrong with him. he tried to go back to his old life, tried to slot right back into that world of noise and warmth and claustrophobic, stifling joy. his friends, his family, his cousins, his aunts, his neighbours - they were all over him, and for the first time in his life, he realised, with such a flash of horror that it made him sick, that he didn’t want to be touched. that he flinched at the sound of a train horn. that his heart was always thundering and frantic. that there were dark rings under his eyes. that the flowers on his walls made him feel hemmed in, and that he wanted to reorganise his bookshelf at 3am because he had to do something, anything, had to open a window, had to clean, had to repaint the dining room walls.

and it wasn’t that he felt he had to be someone for all the people who had known him - it’s that he honestly, genuinely, did not realise he was suffering from trauma. he thought that, now that the war was over, he could move on, and start a new chapter, and go back to smiling, to evening walks in summer, to giving piggy back rides to his young cousins. he thought he’d be alright. 

while he was in this confusing state of turmoil, this state of smiling happily through the day and not understanding the mess he became at night, he kept up his letters to his friends. sweetly. cheerfully. religiously. it’s a nice habit, he thought; i don’t understand it but i feel like i’m coming apart at the seams and this is the only thing holding me together, he meant. one by one they stopped writing him back, but that didn’t matter. he kept sending them.

he got his old job back at the book binder’s. didn’t last. he’d sit down at his desk and look at the clock and it was 10am, and then he’d just stare at nothing for a few minutes, losing himself in a soundless haze with his pulse in his ears, and he’d blink and it was 4pm. the old man fired him after a week and he stumbled out onto the street in a tearful daze. 

and that’s how his life went for months: happy, smiling, cheerful, and frantically tearing apart down the middle while all he could do was watch. blindly trying to stitch himself back up with soft coloured wool that just fell to bits at his touch, and stirring himself into a horrible frenzy of confusion and fear and sunshine.

then came the letter from cooke, telling him to come down to london. then came parry. then came healing. 

when he returned to newcastle, he was still broken - but he understood that that’s what it was, and his smile was a little more genuine for finally having a diagnosis, for knowing that life itself wasn’t fracturing, for knowing there could be an end to it, for knowing there’s hope. rossi was the only reason he was staying in newcastle, because it wasn’t terribly far from scotland and it made him feel close to him even when only silence greeted his letters. when rossi made the move to london, malky followed him. he smiled around at his childhood bedroom and breathed in the smell of it one last time before he closed the door, and he lugged his suitcase down the staircase and left it by the front door - and that evening, the whole street is alive with celebration. 

his parents cry, but they know that if it will make him happy, if it’s right, then he has to go - and all the neighbourhood will miss him, but they don’t lament it: they turn it into a celebration of a new chapter in his life. lanterns are hung throughout the street, and the tables are brought out, and people wheel their pianos out, and the warm evening air is alive with music and laughter, and everyone wants to dance with malky - most of all his kid cousins, which is an adorable sight - and he’s smiling and laughing just as much as he’s crying, and it’s happy. 

and as night falls, he hugs everyone he loves, and tells them he’ll visit and write every week and send photos, and his mother tells him she’s proud of him and hugs him the longest, and as he picks up his suitcase and walks to the train station, the whole street goes with him - skipping along at his side, and singing, and cheering, like a huge procession through the streets of newcastle. people come out of their homes and poke their heads out of windows to watch - and there’s malky, at the head of it all with his suitcase and a hundred people who love him all around him, and he’s laughing and sobbing at the same time, and it’s magical. it’s beautiful. it’s family. it’s home. 

they wave him off at the platform and laugh and cheer and blow kisses, with kids sitting on their parents’ shoulders and a little yapping dog perched on someone’s head, and then the train is pulling away, and he leans out the window to wave at them for as long as he can; and once he can’t see them anymore, he sits back in his seat and just cries - not only because he’s going to miss them, but because he’s so happy, he’s so overwhelmed, he’s so full of love. and when the crying stops, all that’s left is a dopey smile on his face and red, swollen eyes, and his chest full of warmth and light as air.

all his friends meet him at the station in london, and they’re just as much a home as the one he left. he gets a job as a baker and he loves it: his customers line up early every morning to get his pastries, and also to talk to the sweet, bashful baker with the shy, kind eyes and happy smile; in turn, he loves all his regulars and always comes out to the till to serve them and chat with them and wish them a good morning at work. he’s the highlight of their day and they his, and his friends just listen with befuddled, patient expressions where he gushes quietly about what his customers are up to - because malky is the one none of them tease. he’s too gentle for that. 

and he’s happy!!!! he does a lot of quiet healing (much of it at scho’s cottage in cookham when he mentions he’d love to see the countryside, and then it just becomes a tradition to go there once a month), and arranges flowers in his flat to clear his head, and takes up knitting as stress relief and knits blankets for all his friends, and he’s happy. and i love him. so much. 

[guardiandae]

OKAY it’s time for that write up about my trip to Boston

aka Why I’m Glad I’m Still Alive and also Dae Makes Bad Life Choices And Needs To Be Grounded :c 

(long, long post)

okay so, my friend H takes a trip down to Boston every year to visit her friend D who goes to college there. She invited me to go a few days beforehand, and as luck would have it I managed to arrange to have Friday & Saturday off work, and Sunday closing shift, so I could make it down there and back.

Of course, I had a runny nose and stuff beforehand... and then the night before (Thursday night, I think) I had a really hard time at work bc I felt feverish... I got home and my temp went up from 99.6 (which is already 100% a fever for me, my temp runs low) to 101.3 during the night. I kept waking up every three hours, and I had to get a bag of ice to press against my head. I went to bed early but slept in longer than I expected so I got like 13 hours of sleep and felt a lot better in the morning, aside from a sore throat. Actually, my throat does this fun thing where from time to time, it will close up on me and I can’t breathe. It can happen even from drinking water. So I took cough syrup and my throat closed up. Yikes. No more cough syrup for me, just cold & flu tablets! I can’t remember the other incident, maybe I drank something harsh, but I remember it did that twice, two times in two days. So, yeah. Gotta be careful what I drink with this sore throat.

Friend wants me to spend Friday night at her house so we can leave at 3am Saturday. So I go to H’s house, with her boyfriend T. My throat is like, raw as fuck. We hang out, they pack, and we all take a nap before we leave. I get like another 3 hours of sleep, then we all get up and hit the road.

We pick up T’s friend, S.  My friend H keeps trying to hook me up with S despite the fact that I am 1. gay 2. asexual 3. not interested in douchebags. And she’s been teasing me about the fact that, S and I will have to share a bed at the hotel. My god. Mind you, the plan she has in Boston is to take me to a strip club and I’m like, sdgkdfkgjd. No? Maybe. No.

We stop at a gas station and I get myself a big powerade for my RAW AS FUCK throat. Swallowing is seriously painful at this point. My friend swaps seats to sit beside me in the back, so now T and S are in the front. THEY FUCKING START CHAINSMOKING ALL THE WAY DOWN. So they have their windows cracked, freezing cold air pouring in, secondhand smoke making my eyes water and lungs burn, all the way down. Maybe at most they would stop for two minutes and then, boom, another FUCKING cigarette. On top of that, they listened to really gross rap music on the way down, like violent, sexually-explicit, drug-endorsing songs that were just honestly annoying lyrics aside, total crap, lol.

My friend and I show each other memes (she pronounces it me-me and I think it’s too funny to correct her) all the way down. We arrive at her friend D’s campus at about 6am. He has keys to all the buildings and has to make rounds, so we’re going to walk with him all across his campus.

D is a really interesting dude. My friend H told me, “he’s a bible-thumper” beforehand and I was like, eh. great. But he’s this 40-ish year old guy going to a religious college studying to be a minister. He’s super friendly and considerate as soon as we meet him. It’s 6am in January, fairly warm considering the time of year, but I’m still in just my hoodie and SICK, so while I was kind of excited for the experience, my body is so not. We’re going from building to building, up flights of stairs and back down again, and I am wheezing. My voice is pretty rough at this point too.

But let’s talk about the school, and the setting, because... I love it.

In Maine (my state) the trees here are mostly pines, maples, oaks, etc.

But in Boston, I’m not sure what kind of trees they might be, but my gosh. It’s a grey, chilly day (my favorite weather 100% honestly, too bad I was sick) and the trees are bare. Their branches are all twisted in different directions, like the fingers on an old man. Ever seen those kind of forests from creepy horror movies? They are just like that and it’s absolutely gorgeous. Most of the buildings on campus are very old, so some of them still have old fashioned latches, like the thumb-latches in my grandfather’s house.

The other thing I really loved about the campus, is that the students attending are actually very liberal and diverse, despite the religious focus. As D put it later, the other three people in our group, H, T, and S, doubled the population of straight (and cis) students by being on campus. Haha.

Anyway, I survive running around campus, and then we head down to catch the Green Line subway into town. At this point, I really wish I had realized we were going to be gone from the car for several hours, because I would've at least grabbed my hat. :c

This is the first time I've ever been on anything like a subway and I'm so glad that we had D with us to be our guide, because it was so confusing. The car was packed with people because of the Women's March going on. I don't know how this compares to other subways, but this went pretty fast and had a lot of hills and turns, and with every change in momentum I'm hanging onto the rail for dear fucking life trying not to fall over. My friend H has a lot of anxiety, especially around crowds of people, and riding this subway itself, so she is SHAKING and trying really hard to just hold on and get through the ride, and so am I. We get off a big station and decide to go up and walk the rest of the way instead of waiting for the next car, because my friend and I are curious to see the march going on.

We ended up walking around a lottt down all of these different side streets. H, T and S wanted to find a big tall building to go all the way to the top floor and take pictures, so we kept trying to enter different buildings at random, and most of them were locked and one we were politely told to leave, lol.

The whole walking around event was kind of more random than planned... we ended up at Bruins arena which I think was my friend's only actual goal, so she could buy her brother a gift. We saw tons of protesters everywhere and I got one of the pink hats from a nice lady who brought extras. But after that, our wandering was pretty aimless. We headed towards Boston market (still trying to find tall buildings) and accidentally stumbled onto the Holocaust memorial.

H and I were like 'oh... damn' and of course, I had to go in. The memorial consists of four towers made of panes of glass, with steam inside rising up. When I walked into the first one, the panes of glass had quotes from survivors of the Holocaust written on both sides in side, and on every single pane of glass, going up to the sky, there were the serial numbers the nazis tattooed onto people. I took a few pictures, but once I entered that first tower I put my phone away because it just didn't feel right. We walked through and read each quote... I was trying not to cry because the two guys with us (D excluded) were pretty douchey and I wasn't sure they even would, y'know, care. But when I read one of the quotes about the homosexuals being put into the death camps, I definitely cried and I was like, yeah. This is why we fight. This is why we can't stop fighting.

When we left, H was pretty shaken too (the quotes about children were the ones that got to her the most, I think) and D suggested that we head to the farmer's market to try to lighten up the mood. While we were walking there, S decides to ask a question, in a suspiciously condescending tone of voice, "I wonder what the founding fathers would think about all of this."

The rest of us were like, ???  "Think about what?"

S: "You know, the protests that are going on right now."

Guys, my voice was half gone but you know I clapped back.

"They'd probably think that they're exercising their CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS??? What do you think the founding fathers did against the British???"

Then he said something about how, people keep pushing and pushing for more rights, and he thinks that's a bad thing because it just ends up dividing people into more and more different groups and takes away rights from others. At this point I was like, HOLY SHIT, this fucking white boy is one of those people who thinks that EQUAL RIGHTS means his rights are somehow being TAKEN AWAY from HIM. Like, you DO realize that my great-great grandmother and your great-great grandmother didn't have the fucking right to vote??? and in MY lifetime, I had to go fucking vote on my  right to get MARRIED??? It didn't take away SHIT from poor helpless straight white men, it just GAVE more people the SAME FUCKING RIGHTS. HOLY FUCK.

So anyway we headed on to the market area, checked out the Newbury Comics store and I was exciiited bc I found a cute pair of knee-high socks to buy (my new aesthetic). But while in pursuit of my knee-highs, I wandered too close to the Dick's bar, and at this point everyone was ready to drink/eat and had been searching for a bar for a while. There were sooo many to choose from, including really nice looking Irish bars, and historic old bars, which I actually wanted to check out. But which bar did we go to? The fucking cock-themed bar.

They ordered drinks. I just sat by them kind of uncomfortably bc everything is not only "I love dicks" but the mascot is a sleezy overweight balding man and the waitress makes fart jokes. Like. For real. But I'm watching the tv, making small talk with D (who is awesome) and H, while S and T get drinks and fries. Some guy brings his CHILD into this establishment, and is apparently very familiar with their theme bc he plays right along with the waitress's fart jokes like he sees her every Saturday or something. What the hell. Then the party at the opposite end starts putting on these huge condom hats made out of white paper. I can hear a child crying on the other side, maybe the same kid. Why the fuck. And then the waitress starts kind of badgering ME now, like, "Why are you just sitting there without a drink?" I tell her, in my really hoarse voice, "If I have any alcohol I'm pretty sure I will stop breathing" and she's just like "Well it's not like you can't have a water or a juice"  (me: where the fuck is there water or juice advertised ANYWHERE on this shitty menu??? also the food was ridiculously overpriced otherwise I would've been happy to order >_< )  and then I look over and realize that, S has already had two beers, but he JUST ordered a fucking THIRD. Now I'm angry and I tell my friend I don't wanna sit in this (shitty) bar all day, so I'm going to head to the comic store again.

Comic store is right across the street.... but... I'm legitimately pissed off right now, so as soon as I step outside I'm like, actually, lol, fuck off, bye, I'm gone.

And I just keep walking, back the way we came in. I sit down at a bench for a while, half thinking that D or H had followed me, but nobody had. So I'm like, cool, and contemplating actually buying a train ticket home if I had to. But I'm sick as fuck and my legs are killing me and my lungs are wheezing and it's cold and I know that no train goes all the fucking way home, so I'm like, :)))

I decided to go and see something that *I* wanted to see so I looked at my phone and saw the Samuel Adams statue was nearby. They texted me "where are you" and I told them Sam Adams (of course, knowing them they probably looked for a damn bar). But I got lost getting to the statue, lmao, bc it was RIGHT BESIDE ME and I was expecting something larger and headed towards a crowd of people instead. By the time I circled back, I hung up on like three phone calls and ignored several texts, just texted back again "sam adams" when they asked where I was. Took a picture of the statue, then sat down again and waited. Still more texts and calls to not respond to. Finally I was really annoyed but got up to go back to the bar and was thinking, if they aren't here, I'm fucking off again, lol. But they were there and ... my friend H was in tears.

Uh oh. Nice going, Dae.

I put my frustration aside and just fell back into step... she didn't talk to me for a little while. I felt like such an asshole. It was only later I saw some texts that hadn't come through then... half of them already had their phones dead, the others were almost dead, and they'd texted me that they were going to head to the car without me and pick me up in a couple hours. Of courese, my phone was low battery too. I almost fucking stranded myself in Boston, extremely sick, with no cellphone, please ground me.

We went back to the subway (there was another station right near to us, thankfully, so no long walk), and rode all the way back to our original station. Then we had to trek back UP the hill we came down from the campus... I was wheezing hard.

Everyone crashed in D's room for a while. I collapsed on the couch and they all went into the bathroom to smoke pot. I considered leaving to the car to get my phone charger but was like, if I do they'll probably think I bailed again. and then I could literally hear them talking about me, and S saying, "I bet when we come out, she'll be gone again" and I just... felt so angry at him but also like such an asshole bc I'm sick and having a miserable time when I WANT to have fun but instead I'm being a bitch and I can't help it. And they want to drink and get high and I don't like either of those things even when I'm NOT sick as a dog and barely able to breathe, so fuck no I'm not doing that, thanks.

I think after that we finally went to our hotel bc it was check in time (3pm). My friend had reserved the room but they wouldn't let her pay because her card didn't have her name on it, and the others only had cash, so I stepped up to put the room on my card. It made me feel better about being there at all, because they literally wouldn't have had a place to stay (this was a fairly long drive away from Boston).

We went out to eat and this is where S shows once again how much of an asshole he is...

I'm not sure WHERE this came from, but out of the blue while we're sitting in this restaurant, S says something like, "If a drunk girl tells me to fuck her and then she passes out, I can tap that without getting in trouble."

Yeah... I'm positive I didn't remember that right but the statement he made didn't make ANY sense.

All four of us (D, H, T, and myself) were like, ???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. That is RAPE.

D and I start trying to explain, for one, UNCONSCIOUS = no, and two, in this hypothetical she gave her "consent" while drunk, and you cannot legally consent while drunk!

"But what if we're both drunk"

We're trying to explain that technically neither could consent, it's a risky situation, and then he goes,

"So what if my ex texts me and says 'come tie me up and have your way with me'."

D is like, "I can't even begin with how many variables there are in that situation."

Me: "It depends. Is she sober? Is it actually HER texting? Is she going to say no when you get there?"

S: "She'd have to prove that it wasn't her texting..."

We kept talking about this and trying to explain like, the limits of consent and finally T is like, "Why are we talking about this?"

D and I: "Because it came up and it's worth talking about! There are a lot of people who don't understand."

But anyway, we pretty quickly dropped the topic, but I cannot get over the fact that S randomly said that he'd fuck an unconscious woman. And I am expected to share a bed with him at the hotel.

I was super super pissed with S at this point like, this actual FUCKBOY, first he thinks that equal rights means his rights get taken away, now he's stated that he'd rape somebody?? like?? get the fuck away from me, permanently.

We had to drive D back to his room and it's dark outside now.

I haven't yet mentioned, but as beautiful as Boston is to walk around, the roads are crazy and driving is a fucking nightmare. There are some normal streets but almost everything connects directly onto a highway (at least where we were... and I'm not sure if highway is the right word bc fuck if I know anything about driving but they are SCARY multi-lane roads). The highways are like 4, 3, or 5 fucking lanes of people driving like there's no speed limit, cars constantly switching lanes and assholes flying past us.

All of that is scary enough, but worse is that:

- T is the one driving, because H is too scared to drive in Boston traffic. - T does not have a license. - The car's left blinker doesn't fucking work, so switching lanes to the left is a deathwish. - Did I mention the drinking and getting high? Yeah. - Also, the chainsmoking resumes and I am in fucking misery.

We manage to drop D off, and they had mentioned the fact that they HAVE the lightbulb for the back blinker, but didn't take the time to install is before leaving. D had mentioned that he could probably do it. So I'm like, hey, how about we do that?  D takes a look and realizes that it'd take some time to take apart, but he'd be able to do it with some assistance. T is like, nah it'd take some work, and I'm disheartened (bc I want this car to be as legal as fucking possible bc if we get pulled over I'm 100% sure that I'm fucked on getting home, best case scenario. Worst case scenario, I might charged with something just for being with these guys. Idk if that's even rational but honestly.) but they agree to just deal with it later.

We get back to the hotel and H and I decide to go swimming in the pool. It's honestly one of the highlights of the trip for me bc I rarely get to go swimming, so we enjoyed ourselves for a while, talking about how T and S were kind of annoying both of us. The guys were getting alcohol and stuff while we swam, and they drank some and then joined us. It was kind of funny bc H had worn her bikini bottom but also swim trunks over them, and S didn't have anything to wear to swim in, so she gave him her trunks. They fit him so tightly lmaoo. The guys were splashing around, goofing off, and at this point I'm less angry and more just like, letting it all go, I know I don't like S whatsoever, he's fucking dumb, but I don't want to be hostile and I'm trying as much as possible to not be a huge bitch and a wet blanket, so it's whatever. We joked around a lot, and had fun, and finally got out of the pool when it was closing. But it was really awkward bc they had to go to change and T had gone into the women's room with H so I had to stand outside and wait to change my clothes... and I could hear H yelling at him about... peeing wildly everywhere? Oh my god. I don't even wanna know. It was one of those moments where I was like, there is nudity beyond both of these doors and I am probably forever going to be not comfortable with that. It's kind of a bizarre and shitty realization that everyone else is on a different plane of existence. Like, I'm the weird one because I don't wanna see dicks flopping around. Huh.

Rinsed off, changed clothes, went back upstairs, blow dried my hair and flopped onto the bed. At this point, I'm physically worn down but.... not.... tired. So I'm not sure if I'm going to fall asleep. But they want to run around, and ask about the strip club plans, and my friend is like, "Dae said she didn't want to go" (which is true, I told her no because I'm very sick and felt uncomfortable about the whole idea anyway) but the guys are like, "You're killing us, we're not going?" and she's like, "Are we?" and I'm so sick and tired at this point that I'm like, "Actually yeah let's go" and get up and get dressed again, ready to impress, ready to jump in and see some ladies and titties and see how uncomfortable I feel about it all.

We get into the car, and all of us have been trying to see what the nearest strip club is... there really isn't one. What the nearest bar is... eh. We're trying to find something really close by, because the guys have been drinking and T has no LICENSE and the car blinker is broken so instead I'm like, "Where's the nearest Walmart?"  over 100 miles away jfc. "Where's the nearest target?" Less than a mile away. Awesome! My mood is UP bc we're going to Target, now this is my idea of a good time.

Yeah, no. My phone is a piece of SHIT and they refuse to even look at it, but their phone won't update fast enough while we're driving and we CAN'T FUCKING MERGE LEFT because we'll be killed in this traffic, so we have to go to the right. We see other stores and want to go to them, but the problem is, when we turned right we already missed that opportunity. And this road merges directly into a fucking interstate. And we cannot turn off of it. And now we are going 80 mph in the wrong direction and have to take the next off ramp.

For the next fucking 30 minutes at least, we are desperately trying to get our fucking phones to tell us where we are and where we need to go. Everything loops in circles, because of the highways and off ramps. We keep missing fucking turns and ending up in even more of a tangled mess. Our phones did not charge up much at the hotel and are on the verge of dying once again and we cannot fucking turn LEFT. T and S are getting frustrated, I'm convinced I'm going to fucking die, and H is having an anxiety attack, texting me like, "This is my car and if we crash everyone is going to get hurt and it's my fault" and I'm like... can we please fucking stop somewhere and just fix the fucking light.

By the time we finally make it back to where we belong, we just go straight to the hotel. So fucking much for strip clubs, or bars, or even Target. Fuck that noise. We aren't driving anywhere after all, we all agree on that and we're all really frustrated and stressed.

I ask again like, even if it takes a while we should really fix the light bc driving down to Mass we had the same problem, and we're going to keep having that problem until we fix it, but the guys are like, we'd have to take apart the whole back end, if it were a quick fix we'd have done it already. In the daylight it'll be okay, it's really just at night that's the worst because all they see is our tail lights, and a lack of left blinker means someone might get killed. So I'm like, alright and let it go.

We get snacks from the vending machines, and crash in the hotel room again. Despite all the hyped talk from the guys about drinking and drugs (seriously, S was like, "Let's go  get some ecstacy or heroin" before we left on that horrific ride, and H was like "UHHHH NO, NOT HAPPENING."  He also talked about forcing girls to choke on his dick, so if anyone was wondering if he learned anything from the Consent Discussion, the answer is, probably no. And people wonder why I have sex anxiety jfc.)

Thankfully, I crashed on one bed, and H, T, and S all crashed on the other bed... probably bc they didn't want to catch my germs tbh. I heard S saying "bacterial pneumonia" to his phone.

Sleep was... hellish. I woke up at 4am, SHAKING uncontrollably and had to turn up the heat for a while. I think I was running a fever so it didn't help me at all.. after that I had to press a cold drink against my forehead and didn't fall asleep again until 6am, and we all get up around 8:50am.

Btw, the hotel was pretty shitty... a bunch of ants were under my shoes at the indoor pool when I picked my shoes up... they were coming up from the vents because I guess I stepped in something sugary. H freaked out a bit. Then in our 3rd floor room, there was another of those ants on my pillow. Nice. The breakfast service was shitty. The only edible thing for me was the apple juice, the rest of it was awful cheap stuff. We went to burger king instead, which H had wanted for breakfast anyway. My voice was nearly gone at this point and I had to type my order onto my phone and let the cashier read it. The burger king was also super shitty lmao it was under construction but the bathrooms were just, awful and unkept. We realized we had to head straight home now in order to get back in time for everything H and I had to do, so we got straight onto the highway.

Once again... terrifying traffic, and the difficulty of merging to the left. Every time T had to merge, I had to close my eyes and post facebook statuses like "pray for me because I am going to die." At this point, T and S are like, "We should've just fixed the light before we left" and I am like, internally fucking screaming BECAUSE I SAID THAT ALREADY OH MY GOD. Also, CUE THE CHAINSMOKING AGAIN.

I got dropped off directly at my work a couple hours before my shift, and then worked my closing shift.

Remember, at this point I've had very little sleep and fevers every night since Friday... my voice is just a whisper, I spent hours walking around Boston, hours awake at night, I should be exhausted but I am wide the fuck awake. By the time I finally got home, I still didn't even fall asleep until almost 2am.

So yeah.... I'm not even sure how to summarize my trip to Boston and how it made me feel. Everything was really random and accidental. It took a long time for it to occur to me, holy shit I am in BOSTON, historic Boston, and should be taking pictures and seeing the Freedom Trail and actually interesting stuff like that, but it didn't seem to occur to any of us until the day we had to go back and H wwas like, "I wish I'd taken more pictures."  I wish I had too, especially of the march, but since I ws sick before I even left, I actually wasn't even aware that the marches were going on, I was completely out of the loop. It's something I was super excited about and would've never been able to go to normally, but somehow I accidentally happened to end up there at the right time.

In all it was, frustrating, miserable, beautiful, surprisingly nice and diverse, historic, terrifying, stupid, and extremely lucky. Lucky that we managed to arrange the trip on short notice, lucky that we didn't die on the way down, lucky that I happened to be there for a huge protest event that I was able to partake in at least a tiny bit, lucky that I didn't have to go to the strip club after all, lucky that we didn't get arrested, lucky that we made it back safely, lucky that I didn't chop S's dick off and shove it down his throat. I think I might've used up all of the luck for the next ten years, and I'm a bit frightened.

For those keeping score at home, 

Reasons Why Dae Needs to be Grounded:

- going on a trip with sketchy drug dealing wannabe-gangsters who are racist, transphobic, homophobic, misogynistic dumbasses - going on this trip while extremely sick - ditching my friend and the group while extremely sick, in a strange city, with all of our cell phones dying, and ignoring their calls - swimming in the pool while extremely sick (I broke the pool rules whoops) - getting BACK into the defective car with a driver who had been drinking and has no license, at night - going to work directly after this trip, while extremely sick - still trying to talk while my voice is 99% gone - not cleaning my room (it’s so messy help) - staying up late at night to type this instead of sleeping

and now my throat feels much better but I’ve 100% lost my voice and can only communicate through strained whispers and interpretive dance.

but I have tomorrow off and I plan to finally.... rest. 

assuming that I can even fall asleep.

[supernatural-squadd]

The Other Brother

Request: Ok, so I was wondering if you could make a fic were little!sister reader and Cas steal the Impala and end up going on a drive around seeing different things in the town, because of a fight the reader had with Dean, and Cas talk about it with her and gives her advice ?

Characters: The boys.

Warnings: Light language, like always, mentions of drugs, mentions of abuse, baby Angst

A/n: Requested by @@thewinhunter

​ Forever tag list: @Freaksforthewin , @thewinhunter, @cambriacaneatnoodles, @brokennoone , @youtubehelpsmesurvive , @chrisevansthedoritobastard 

Sister tag list: @winchesters-favorite-girl

To be added to any of my tag lists, just ask <3

 "You can't keep me from my other biological brother Dean!" yelling at the top of your lungs, your voice boomed off of the bunker's walls.

"I can if he's an abusive asshole to you!" he yelled right back at you, just as loud if not louder than you had. "As long as you're living with us, you can't just go around doing whatever the hell you want, you're almost fifteen, not eighteen,"

"You're such a controlling asshat!" maybe it wasn't the best idea for you to call him that...or yell even louder than you already had. From the look on his face, he was going to physically pick you up and drag you to your room, so you saved him the trouble and went yourself.

Oh, you wanted to slam the bedroom door as hard as you could, but it was best not to anger the bear you'd just poked at anymore. Who did Dean think he was? You're dad? John never really liked you, you were the mistake child. His sin against Mary. Not like it mattered because he put raising and protecting you on your older brothers, mainly Dean. I guess he was taking it pretty damn literal to the last word and period in the "How to be a douche over protective brother". It was all so damn overwhelming. The arguing. The schooling. Hunting. Seeing your other brother Adam just happened to be at the top of that list right now.

Dean hated him, with a passion. Adam had made the wrong decision and decided to get high off his ass and put his hands on you. God, Dean was furious. Sam had to stop him from putting a bullet in him, knowing you'd hate him for killing your brother. Adam was the one connection you had to your mother, the one thing that linked you to the other half of your family was him. Nobody wanted you in their lives but him. Couldn't blame him. You were the 'one night-stand whore baby'.

Now you sat in your room, thinking about it all. Thinking about how you ended up in this life. This wasn't your choice, but this was your only way to be with family growing up. But you were older now, could take care of yourself. You didn't want Sam and Dean protecting you and being there constantly, you could take care of yourself...right?

Grabbing your duffle bag, you began throwing clothes into it in a sloppy manner. Anything you could fit, you packed. Of course a few guns you'd kept stashed were thrown in, obviously you'd need them for protection. Where would you go? Honestly, anywhere but here. Being around your two brothers really wasn't something in anybody's favor right now. Everything was ready to go, now the waiting began. It took forever for the boys to fall asleep but you were willing to wait for your moment to make a run for it.

The black digital clock with bright red numbers read 3am, they had to be asleep by now. Dean probably trailed off to bed an hour or so ago, Sam more than likely not far behind him. This was it- your moment.

Opening your door quietly, you walked at a fast pace as soon as you had exited your room. But something stopped you. Someone. Cas.

"Where are you going?" he spoke in a hushed tone, knowing if Dean woke up all Hell would break loose in the bunker- again.

"Anywhere but here, I'm going to hitchhike. Don't worry I've got guns," was this supposed to make him more at ease? Well it didn't.

"Come on," his body began moving towards the garage were Baby sat.

"Uh, where exactly?" where was he planning on taking you?

"I wouldn't feel safe with you riding with a stranger. I'll give you a ride," okay, that's nice. But he didn't have a car.

Walking not far behind him, he opened Baby's driver door and motioned for you to get in the passenger side. Dean would be so pissed, maybe that's what urged you to hop in and go, because you did. Neither of you knew where you were going exactly, but he just drove anyways. Moving like his life depended on it once he started her up, knowing the sound would wake Dean if he wasn't listening to music. You didn't even bother asking Cas where you two were going, to be fair you said 'anywhere but here'.

Both of you drove all night long, meaning until the sun came up seeing as you hadn't left until 3am or so. You'd passed out, staying up all night really took a lot out of you, but he let you sleep. The sound of both of your phone's going off simultaneously woke you up. Glancing down a name you didn't want to see popped up, "Sam". While Dean was calling on Cas's cell. Rolling down your window, you chucked the IPhone out into the wind, and casually rolled it back up as though nothing had happened. Your phone had a tracking device in it, Cas just had to turn off his locator app, and he did.

"Where are we?" the clock on his phone read 12pm, had you guys really been driving this long?

"I'm not too sure, but I know the way back to the bunker after I drop you off wherever it is you're going," his eyes looked over at you, then back at the road.

"Truth is, I have no clue where I'm going to go..." your head dropped a little lower than it already was. The feeling of the car pulling off to the side of the road caught your attention.

"I figured you'd go live with Adam, he is the whole reason you're leaving," Cas was right, where were you going to go? Adam could barely take care of himself, let alone a teenager.

"I want to live with him- but I don't at the same time," this was all so confusing for you, what you wanted was clear but foggy at the same time.

"Then why don't you?" Baby was off now, Cas spoke in a calm tone, looking directly at you. But your eyes wandered everywhere but into his.

"Because, I'll never see any of you again. He doesn't even have his own place Cas, I lied to Sam and Dean and said he did so they'd let me go see him. We slept on some stranger's couch, and walked around the streets that weekend I was with him...he was so high," your eyes teared up at the last two words you said. "Dean was right, he's not safe for me to be around. But I still love him Cas. He's my brother regardless of the dumbass decisions he makes," the tears were pouring violently from your eyes, it sucked being torn between two different sides of the family.

"Y/n, Dean isn't saying you shouldn't love him, he's your family. Just because he doesn't make smart choices doesn't mean he doesn't love you any less either. He needs help, and Sam and Dean- all of us just want to make sure he gets that help before he puts you in danger. Talk to Adam, let him know how you feel, tell him how much you love and care about him. We all want you to be in his life, be happy, but your safety comes first," every word he said only made you cry harder and allow his voice to flow deeper into your mind.

"I thought I didn't need protection anymore- I thought I could take care of myself, I was wrong Cas. I need you guys more than anything, more than I need anything in my life," you tried your best to wipe away the tears that had stained your face, he pulled you into his chest and helped calm you back down.

His phone rang once again, he was just about to decline when you held your hand out to answer it. Dean's voice was on the other end, extremely pissed off and rough.

"Where the hell is Y/n, and where the hell is my Baby?" you'd never heard so furious, he didn't know he was speaking to you.

"Cas was going to drop me off somewhere so I wouldn't have to hitch-hike," your face bunched up, knowing he was more than likely even more mad than before.

"And why exactly would you be sneaking out at the asscrack of dawn?" Dean spoke again, a little harsher than before.

"Please tell me you weren't running away?" you must've been on speaker because Sam was piping into the conversation.

"I'd be lying if I said that, and I think we all know that," Cas was looking at you, watching as your facial expressions became more and more tense and filled with worry for what your punishment would be.

"Dammit Y/n. Where exactly did you think you'd go? I swear if you say-" might as well just finish Dean's sentence.

"Adam's," both of them scoffed on the other end of the phone. "But I realized how much I need you guys, not just to visit. You're both a constant in my life and have been since I was a baby. I need you guys to help me from making stupid choices like the one I was about to make. To keep me safe from potentially dangerous situations. Older brothers aren't supposed to give you what you want, they're supposed to be a royal pain in the a- butt," a small smile was on your face, sniffling a little bit you wiped the last dried up tear from your red face.

"Dean, I think we're going to spend the day out and get some needed time off. We'll be back tomorrow if that's alright?" you leaned the phone in closer to Cas so he could speak clearly into the phone.

"Yeah, just don't let her drive, okay?" Dean's voice was once again normal, a hint of frustration was still in his voice but not nearly as bad as it was at the beginning of the discussion. "We love you, Y/n,"

"I love you guys too, buttheads," a small chuckle came from Sam on the other line at your words.

"Brat," both of them said almost at the same time, then the line clicked and you handed the phone back to Cas.

"Where do you want to go? There's a place you can grab some food, you must be hungry," the day must've been in your hands, cool.

"Definitely, can I drive though?"

That was the day you put a scratch on Baby and got the death sentence from Dean...

[wanderinglotus7]

Escape to Paradise

My time in Bangkok is coming to an end real soon. Instead of being cooped in the city, me and some friends decided to take trips to Khao Sok and Koh Phangan. Both places are located in the south of Thailand. These are my last two trips before heading back to Virginia. I want to include Laos too, but my finances pushed back this trip till further notice.

Khao Sok was first! Some might think this trip could’ve waited, but it was a great mini vacation before I started finals. Besides it was for McKenna’s birthday and I’ve been studying almost every other day for finals...so I deserved it. Khao Sok is luscious with the many greens and colored flowers showering the landscape. The bungalow we stayed at was located in the jungle and near a local river where you can go tubbing. Awaking up to the sound of rain in the morning was relaxing and refreshing. Another place that reminds me of home, and it also reminded me of Vietnam too. The trip there wasn’t too bad expect for getting scammed to take a Tuk Tuk to the bus station which was in walking distance. Whatever.

We mostly walked around the local area and played plenty of card games pretty much every where we went. I learned some new card games like poker, but don’t expect me gambling away at the big casinos in Vegas or anything like that. I did spend one morning and afternoon studying for my Basic Thai exam, I’m not really sure how effective that was because thinking about taking that quiz and exam those grades are gonna be kind of iffy. Besides chilling, I hitched on the back of Noah’s rented motorbike and discovered a Monkey Temple not too faraway from our accommodations. Before the temple, I purchased a nice piece of clothe that has multiple purposes. I’m using it as a wrap skirt, head wrap, scarf, and cover-up. I’m always telling myself to stop messing around with these monkeys, and yet again, I found myself walking a monkey temple. Cue the PTSD again! As me and Noah were walking, we witnessed a group of monkeys and dogs getting buck with each other. Suddenly, I was transported to an episode of animal planet. I caught on video a pack of wild dogs attack and kill a full grown monkey in front of my eyes. It was complete savage. Then the whole place went into a roar. I was ready to book it! I was not getting caught up in this hot mess.

Eventually, things calmed and the monkeys went their way and the dogs went their way. I did feel sorry for the dead monkey, he didn’t deserve to die like that (what if he had a little family). On the bright side, I did see baby monkeys playing with each other. Noah went back and brought everyone else to the temple and we climbed up the stairs built in the cliffs. The view from the top was amazing, but then it started to rain its tail off. Some us waited in a small cave till the rain lightened enough to walk in the rain without being drenched. We stopped at an excursion spot and signed up for an all day tour at the lake. They did not inform us what type of activities we will be doing. We thought it was going to be a simple boat tour of the lake and we would chill there and have lunch. Wrong! We did tour the lake and had lunch on the water. After lunch, we ended up completing a two hour hike/trek through the jungle. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, however, the terrain was slippery and muddy (I slipped maybe once or twice).

Our tour guide was chill and kind of funny. The water was nice and cool. I’m glad I did this, we ended up exploring a cave to reach the waterfall inside the cave. The water level was pretty high so, we couldn’t go that far but the distance we did go was good enough for me. Good thing our guide had some head lamps because it was dark up in there. He took us to a place in the cave where the conditions/environment was similar to what the young Thai soccer team and their coach had to experience when they were trapped a couple of months ago. I couldn’t imagine living in those conditions for days and not knowing if anyone knew where you were at or if people were even looking for you. After our exploration, we went back to the restaurant and spent the rest of our free time on the lake. Right when we exited the jungle it started to pour down rain.

We stayed in Khao Sok for at least five days and headed back to Bangkok on Tuesday. Then that following Friday, after our Thai final, we left for the airport to go to Koh Phangan. The mission was to attend the Full Moon Festival that Thailand host every month of the full moon. The festival is held on one of the beaches on the island. So, we had to take a taxi, plane, bus, and ferry to get to the island and then we had to take another taxi to get to our accommodations. The entire day was exhausting and the actual ride was bumpy the back roads are worse than my driveway at home. The trek was worth it because we were staying directly on the beach with the prettiest blue water and baby powder sand. The water was the right temperature, and the jungle was the back drop. Along the way, we convinced a nice woman named Diane to come along with us. We meet her on our ferry ride and she became like our adopted mom or the fun cool aunt. The festival wasn’t till Sunday so, we all just chilled at the beach and relaxed. Again, we played plenty of card games, swam and laid out in the sun (expect for me of course LOL). I spent most of my afternoons sleeping or listening to music in the hammocks around the property. The locals there were friendly especially our driver and the old head who ran the snorkeling boat.

Of course, we took plenty of pictures worthy of Instagram (I know I did). I’ve been flexin’ on the gram for a good while. Sunday came which meant all the parties and weirdos were coming out that night. The party was at the opposite end of the island, so we had to endure a crazy and bumpy 45 minute ride (I think it was that long). Pre-gaming was a necessity which began earlier that day. We ate dinner first and played a game before entering the event. Out of nowhere the sky fell and water flooded the streets. I was not having it. I found a plastic bag and used it to protect my braids from getting drenched. People stared, but I didn’t care. They were not the ones who spent a bunch of money getting their hair done (#blackgirlproblems). During the high season there would’ve been around 40,000 people but it was the low season so there was around 10,000 people which is still a lot in my book. During a 7/11 run, I wander off and found a tattoo studio. And that night I received my fifth tattoo (a big compass on my thigh). 

Different areas of the beach had different Djs playing various types of music. EDM music was mostly played throughout the night. I witnessed people dancing, puking their brains out, jump rope [which the jump rope was on fire], people sleeping, peeing in the ocean, and even saw two people having intercourse in the ocean ( I’m a little traumatized). It was an experience. Those are the only words I have to describe that night. We left around 3am and mostly rested the next day. I saw monkeys again (I can’t escape them). Then Tuesday morning, we left and headed towards the pier to go home. I don’t think either of us wanted to leave. I was really enjoying the island vibes. At least I’m done with all my finals so, I didn’t have to worry about studying, writing a paper or preparing for a presentation.

What a trip to finish out the semester.

[goddessnemain]

Since my trip was canceled, and I’m still a little cranky about the whole thing, I decided I’d make the best of it and go to my favorite local pub and see the guy performing. He’s performed in the pub several times before, he always puts on a good show. It’s the same pub I frequent all the time, I know most of the clientele. It’s a comfortable place for me. They embrace my weird.

Last night all the usual suspects were there. The usual girls who are there every Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday, they could also be called ‘Wooo Girls’, or the ‘Drama Drama Drama Girls’. The usual drunks from the dive bar down the street. The usual idiot whos always drunk and strung out on coke or mushrooms or whatever he got his hands on this week. The usual idiot who figures he’s better than everyone else and everyone should listen to everything he has to say and hang on his every word. They’re all my friends. Well, we drink together. That’s close enough, right?

If you grew up in a small town, you know what I’m saying because you know all these people too.

There was a new face though. And from the minute I saw him walk in the door, I just wanted to play with his hair. Dark, naturally curly shoulder length hair. Eventually, a friend told me I had to go ‘do it for her’, and that gave me the kick in the ass I needed. I wandered over, sat down, and asked if I could play with his hair. He agreed, and it was glorious. Much to my surprise, at the end of the night, he invited a couple of us to his place for after bar drinks. When we were standing outside trying to figure out a plan, he grabbed my hand and pulled me around the corner into the dark. He pushed me up against the cold brick wall and kissed me. Hard. And let me tell you, I can’t even remember the last time someone kissed me like that. It made my head spin. It took my breath away. It was all the glorious cliches. And they were my glorious cliches. My friend and I didn’t make it over to, let's call him ‘Curly’,’ s place, I drove her home. Curly asked me to come back to the pub and meet him after I’d dropped my friend off. I had nothing better to do at 3am, so I went back to the pub. I couldn’t believe he was still standing outside that empty, closed bar after 10 minutes. So, he jumped in my truck, and we went somewhere quiet. Now if you're thinking Curly got my pants off, you’re about to be disappointed. Though, we were like two 16-year-old kids making out in the back seat. It was fun. For honesties sake, Curly tried to get my pants off, I just wouldn't let him. That boy can kiss. It took some serious restraint on my part. Do you remember the scene in the Jim Carrey movie ‘Bruce Almighty’ after he has his ‘god’ powers, he’s getting ready to get laid, he snaps his fingers and suddenly- BAM- all his clothes are off his body? That would have been me without the restraint. He had drool-worthy muscly arms, flat abs, and an ass you could grope for days. He was well spoken, could carry on a conversation. Damn, that boy can kiss though. Eventually, I dropped him off at his place and went home. This morning I discovered he’d forgotten his hat in my truck, so I text him at the number he’d given me last night when he first jumped in my truck.

I think you know what I’m going to say next.

It was a FAKE number! That bastard gave me a FAKE number!

Okay, it wasn’t a fake number. It turns out I did know the person the number belonged to once they text me back asking if I was so-n-so, and introduced themselves. Small town remember. 

Guess I had a decent night of live music, backseat making out and scored myself a new hat.

It could have been worse.