#i owe y’all an essay and a fic!! both are coming

[mediumgayitalian]

it’s actually embarrassing when ur 13 year d sister is a better driver than you

[kayteewritessteve]

It’s nice to be important, but it’s important to be nice.

Alright, I think it’s time that I put this out there. I wasn’t planning on having any more to do with this shit storm, but I think this needs to be voiced now, more than ever. I’d like to point out, this is my generalized views on this shit, and it is not to attack or shade anyone in this fandom. This is how I have felt on this shit for years, between two different fandoms and finally I feel like I need to put it into words. Side with me or not, this is my set views on this issue, and I will not sit here and argue or fight online with anyone over them. This is how I see it, and nothing anyone says will change this. So don’t even waste your breath.

To start off, to all my lovely readers, I just want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I sometimes feel like I’m in my own little bubble in this fandom. Like whenever I see other writers having issues with readers not interacting, I feel bad for them, but then I look at the comments on my fics and I can’t really relate to them on that front.

I normally steer clear of the reader feedback issues, because I genuinely feel it does not pertain to me, personally. I have so many lovely readers, who leave me lovely comments and feedback, and those few of you who do, are all I truly need to keep me happy.

But, with that said, I also am someone who sees both sides of the coin. I’m someone who cherishes the readers who just like and reblog, cherishes the ones who just like and comment, and cherish every other interaction in between.

I will never personally demand comments from you all, I will never say ‘fuck your social anxieties, you will comment or else!’ Because how does that help? I deal with social anxiety myself, I know how crippling it can be. I have been that person reading other peoples fics silently and in the background. I have had moments where I’m afraid to even like a fic, because then I feel like I must reblog or I’ll be labelled a shit person. I have been there, so many damn times.

I may not appear as someone with social anxieties at first, but they are there, hiding under the overly bubbly personality I also have. I turn the volume up on my friendly side for this blog, just to hide the true anxious person that I am.

So I get it. God do I get it.

Tumblr is scary, it can be overwhelming, and loud, and nerve-wracking. And when issues like this happen, it can be an even scarier place. And I think demanding feedback, and getting super angry about this all, is not helping matters. It’s scaring more people away.

I think us as writers, need to remember that we may not feel intimidating, we may just completely forget that to others, we are bigger blogs, we are the people they look up to, the people they want to be like. And I’m not saying this as an ego trip, I look up to other bigger blogs myself. I idolize some bigger blogs and hope I can even be blessed enough to get halfway to where they are, some day. But the point I’m trying to make here, is that sometimes we forget that someone else may be nervous to reach out, to comment, to interact with us, because they themselves feel like a small blog. Like a nuisance, like they are annoying us, like we will think they are weird. And I only use those exact words, because I have had my readers reach out and tell me that’s how they normally feel in interactions with other writers. How those writers have made them feel.

So I think we need to all (writers included) be a little nicer to each other. Yelling, bitching, chastising heavily, will not fix these issues, it will probably make them worse. If I’m being honest.

And us as writers need to give back just a little more to our readers—I know, I know! Some of y’all are about to go in on me, saying how dare I say we give MORE back after all our hours of writing. But, hear me out first.

When I first started this blog, barely anyone commented on my fics. So what did I do? I started commenting and thanking the people who just reblogged. As people started to comment a little more, I made sure to leave just as in-depth replies as they did, when people started reblogging essay’s on my fics, I replied in kind. I laugh, I cry, and I stomp with my readers. I don’t just write, post it then walk away and expect everyone to sing my praises. I don’t ever demand feedback or love.

I take the few lovely people who give me that feedback and love, and I return it once again. And you know what? Because I do, I have so many lovely readers returning, to give me feedback once again! I have people reaching out to thank me for actually replying to them, I have people stepping out of their comfort zones to read AU’s they never liked before, solely because I wrote them.

And shit. That’s the highest of damn praises, man. Like I can never thank the few of you who love my stories so much. I can never thank the few of you who have been with me from the start, I can never thank those of you who stumbled upon me recently and never wanted to leave again. You all, every single one of you, are the reason I still write today. You are the reason I’m still here.

But I have BUILT these relationships. I have nurtured them, and helped them grow. I have taken the time to really see my readers, to appreciate them. To give back exactly what I get. And yes, it’s time consuming, and yes, sometimes it takes me a few days to finally reply to them, but the point is, I find the time to reply.

I can’t tell you how many times I have seen someone leave such a lovely long winded reblog comment on a fic, and they literally get ‘thanks for reading!’ in reply. Like. Damn. That hurts meeeee, and I wasn’t even the commenter. But I think I can only feel that hurt, because I have been the reader that pours my soul into my comment, and then doesn’t even get a thank you. Not even a reply at all. And that shit sucks, and it can really deter me from ever commenting like that on that persons fics again. Like why waste the time, if they aren’t even reading your comment? And yeah, maybe they are, and in this case, even just a ‘thanks’ would be better than nothing. But most of the time, a thanks doesn’t even come.

Now look, I get that we all have lives, I get that we all have things that are more important to take up our time. Trust me, I do. But I think you can’t really sit here and complain about a lack of reader interaction, when you yourself aren’t doing everything you can to encourage them to interact. To show them that they can reach out and comment, and you will love them for it. They will be your hero for it.

I think if you just come in here, thinking you’re above everyone else, and demanding praise for this, you are going to be in for a rude awakening when you don’t get what you think you are owed. What you believe you deserve, solely because you write.

I personally believe that my job is not finished just because I posted my fic. I personally believe my job is never finished on a story, so long as people are commenting and reblogging. I give them a story to read, they give me love and feedback, and then I give them that in return as my thank you for reading. And ya know what? It’s worked out well for me. I’m happy with all of my readers, I cherish them, and I feel blessed for every single one of them.

This is a hobby for me, it’s not a job, I love interacting with my readers. And I think when this hobby starts to feel like work, and I don’t want to interact anymore, then I will walk away. If I ever stop getting the joy out of it, then I’ll stop. Simple as that, and you know why? Because I was the one who decided to share my writing with others. I am the one who built a following around them. I am the one who choose to put myself in this place. So how the hell am I supposed to sit here and demand people to praise me, when I was the one who took the necessary steps to put myself in this exact spot. I was the one who opened my stories up for people to actually read.

So yeah, maybe I don’t see it the same way the rest of you do. Maybe I’m naive, or silly, or ignorant, but this is how I see it. And I’m sorry if you don’t, I’m sorry if you feel you deserve a certain level of interaction and you just aren’t getting that. Because at the end of the day, I want everyone who writes to truly enjoy it and to get the love they deserve.

But we have to lower our standards a bit, we have to realize that we may not get exactly the praise we want, but we still get praise. And in any form, that’s such a glorious thing. When we all first started out, getting 3 comments was HUGE for us. Getting even one persons feedback was like life changing! So why is that not the case anymore? Why is that not enough now? Because we have thousands of followers now, instead of a hundred? That’s utter bullshit.

Praise is praise, take it or leave it, but don’t bash it. Don’t discredit it. And don’t act like it isn’t there. Because it is, just maybe not in the full extent you are wanting. But it’s still there.

TL:DR - please be nicer to people, and understand not all of us are extroverts. Some of us suffer from social anxieties, and that needs to be realized and remembered. Show love. Spread love. Stop bashing each other and just write because YOU want to, and not because you want all the damn praise.

[luobingmeis]

☕️ danbrey

*eye twitches* IT’S ALL CHILL OUT HERE FOLKS

but okay real talk not to actually get deep and whatever but some of you just need to learn how to say “i don’t like this ship” and move on with your blogging bc when people start pulling “d*nbrey isn’t interesting or captivating or developed at all, but you know what ship is BETTER and ACTUALLY DEVELOPED and WAY MORE DESERVING OF SCREENTIME THAN THESE WLW? [insert a ship of two characters who have barely spoken and have little to no canon romantic implications]”

like, okay, you don’t ship d*nbrey? fine! that’s cool! you probably won’t like my blog that much bc i post A Lot of d*nbrey, but i won’t begrudge you for that! you ship another side amnesty ship more than d*nbrey? also fine! also cool! you do you, my dude!

but ngl it’s kinda telling when d*nbrey (which is a ship with dynamics that have been established from the beginning with the strong implication that both dani and aubrey are romantically interested in each other and a lot of aubrey’s solo scenes have been with dani) is disregarded for other ships of characters that barely interact. like, listen, i’ve done shipping NPCs. hell, my entire blog in 2013/2014 was shipping NPCs who barely interact, and it’s fun! it’s chill! but there’s also little to no argument abt there being more canonical development for those two NPCs than for actual canon ships

like, again, you ship something else more than d*nbrey? that’s fine!!! that’s all good!!! hell, i fucking love shipping NPCs, even if they barely interact. but, like. it’s kinda :/ to be like “THIS should be the main ship instead of d*nbrey bc it’s BETTER and CANONICALLY MORE DEVELOPED” when it’s... like....... not............ and most of the development you’re talking abt is fanon content (which, again, fanon content is not Bad, a lot of fanon stuff is fun as hell, but don’t conflate fanon with canon for your argumnents)

and okay to stop beating around the bush, back in like march/april, a post was circulating that literally said “why ship d*nbrey when it’s undeveloped and forced and bad when you can ship indr*ck, which has so much better chemistry and can actually be developed” like listen im fine with indr*ck, seems chill as hell, but literally sometimes you can just say “i ship indr*ck more than d*nbrey” and be done with that. you don’t have to write essays to justify yourself. sometimes you just. don’t ship things. and that’s okay. 

yes it’s been months since i’ve seen that post but yes i’m still genuinely hurt bc taz is the only piece of media to ever give me wlw content that feels like home and, ngl not to pull the lesbian card here, but i literally did not genuinely love being a lesbian until taz so yes i’m going to get bitchy and defensive and hurt and, frankly, borderline blunt w/ no bullshit when canon main wlw ships are treated as less than in comparison to other ships

i have other things i could say about how d*nbrey is treated in relation to some of the other canon (and not canon) taz ships but y’all aren’t ready for me to hit that hornets nest

anyways yes ik shit isn’t that deep and nothing matters anyway and tbh i surround myself with cool people so this isn’t really that much of a problem, but i’m protective of ships that, like, make me feel good and secure in my sexuality lmao

(and before any of you come @ me, accusing me of trying to put d*nbrey on a higher pedestal than other ships, team sw*et flips also basically saved my life and is my fave taz ship and t**kitz and bl*pjeans essentially own my heart in ways that i could talk abt for hours and h*rloane has some of the most powerful scenes in all of taz, so like. don’t bullshit me lmao.)

OH ONE FINAL THING

the next person to write a fic that isn’t at all abt d*nbrey but then still put it in the d*nbrey tag on ao3 owes me $20