#i put so much effort into this for a “he asked for no pickles meme” lol

[whisheep]

BASIL tagged HERO!

[elysiumarchieve]

Scaramouxhe x mute reader? Headcanins before and after he became a 'god'

NAUR i think that honestly would be so cute😭 protective lover scaramouche who always knows exactly what you want and need MY HEART hc that he knows sign language

and PLEASE tell me if there is anything wrong, i tried researching more on mute people for this because i actually have never met anyone who is mute, so i tried my best😭

scaramouche x mute! gn! reader

warnings: fluff?? scaramouche isn't as much of a little shit in this as he usually is, he has a soft nonexistent heart, sort of 3.2 archon quest spoilers

✧ this is the embodiment of "they asked for no pickles" meme if you actually ask me

✧ scaramouche, although far more attentive when it comes to your needs, is still the same little shit you'd expect him to be. just because you're mute doesn't mean you're dumb and you understand him very well

✧ however, the difference lies in how he really treats you compared to everyone else - you're his beloved s/o and anyone mishandling you earned themself a nice warm place in whatever hell teyvat possesses

✧ scaramouche learnt rather quickly what you like and dislike and what things make you comfortable and uncomfortable. there is no need for you to even try and tell him you're feeling unwell, because he'll already be on his guard and leave at the slightest discomfort you might experience - he reads the room too well for someone who usually doesn't give a damn about human emotions and their needs

✧ there are people bothering you? the next day you find them on their knees, beaten up and bruised, begging you to tell your lover off and how they didn't know you were with a fatui harbinger (you didn't even know scaramouche found out about this)

✧ when accompanying him, he always makes sure you're 'heard'. he'd often say things such as "we're going this way" and waits for you to agree to it before continuing any further - it's all about you and what you think. you still have a 'voice', even though you can't speak to him like anyone else, but that's exactly why he puts you above everyone else

✧ a king of non-verbal cues. he's attentive to a point that it feels like his eyes are always on you, taking in every movement of yours and reading you like a book - there is no need for words in the first place. one unsure glance to the side and he'll be there, asking you what's bothering you

✧ while i doubt he knew anything about sign language before meeting you, he put in a lot of effort to learn it rather quickly for you. one, it would make it easier for him to know what you're trying to say and second, he doesn't need anyone to translate it to him nor do you need a notebook or anything else to talk to him

✧ tell him about your day! it doesn't matter how you do it, but he simply wants to see the excitement in your eyes when you go about what you did. he's genuinely interested in what you do

✧ after having received the gnosis and becoming a 'god' in that sense, you clearly saw him less and you were actually under the supervision of the sages who didn't even dare to say anything to you (i mean, your lover was literally becoming their god, what were they supposed to do?)

✧ staying with the doctor of all people wasn't an option either for you. who'd willingly stay with this madman in one room? not you unless you have a few screws loose

✧ if you came to visit scaramouche during his deification, he'd tell you about all the things he knew now - the knowledge he had gained, the things he suddenly felt.. except that he was still your scaramouche, being a little shit about everything

✧ fuck haypasia, his true first follower was always you, the person who was by his side even way before all of this. he had however to commend the sages for keeping you a secret from the traveler thus far. if they found out about you he would've been sure to try and hide you away from them (they could use his only weakness against him, but that would be low, even for the traveler)

✧ he allows you to sit down on these giant mecha hands to bring you closer to him and unless you're afraid of heights, is actually amazing. you look so tiny and vulnerable in his hands but he knows exactly that he can protect you even better now if you needed it (i'm thinking rn, if his arms copy every movement, can the mecha fingers too?? sign language mecha confirmed)

✧ if you manage to establish the same connection to him the way haypasia did, he'd definitely tries visiting you throughout the day, watching you from the shadows and making sure you're okay - this was his gift for you now that he was a 'god', his everlasting protection over you that he promises you

✧ besides that, he can read your thoughts now too, so your conversations would also be a little different from before. sometimes he'd just hold you on his mechanical hands and listen to what you have to say in your thoughts as he answers you whatever it might be

✧ in his eyes, you're beautiful on the outside and on the inside. he can tell from your mind that you're genuine about him and also his goals and it secretly reassures him knowing he has someone to actually keep true to what they promised him - in the end, all he ever wanted was to have a purpose, whether that might be through you or the gnosis he desires so much, he atleast knows that there is one more thing int his world to give him a purpose

✧ unlike any of the false promises made to him a long time ago, he'd make sure to keep them. as for now, he had become a god and he could give you everything you wanted if you just would be a little more patient for him

✧ he has everything he wants now, he finally has the heart he was designed for, he was finally the god he was always supposed to be and he had you, the one person who stood through it all with him up until this point

✧ he'd probably watch over you in your sleep - standing there with crossed arms right next to you, an endearing look in his eyes you would've never thought scaramouche could ever possess and a proud, small smile (he didn't care if anyone saw him, but the naked human eye could not perceive his form unless they were a special case like the traveler)

✧ to say that his ego grew with that realisation would be an understatement, and yet he'd make sure you're okay and that you're safe - even when that pesky traveler, his annoying flying creature and that child archon came to fight him, he'd be sure to make sure no harm would ever befall you and that you were secure and far away

[kingofgraves]

“- Suffers from severe social anxiety.”

Ig…

(König x anxious!reader) GN

Domestic x adrenaline chasing activities is just going shopping on Saturday morning and taking time to look through groceries and not speed through everything. Some couples go sky diving, König and you go to the shops and take turns whenever you can’t find something and need to ask an employee.

Actually read the menu and consider what you want when stopping by a cafe for a to go drink, whoever doesn’t has to do the dishes tonight!

That “they asked for no pickles” meme, but it’s just you encouraging each other.

Convincing eachother to start being more expressive with their style. He knows how beautiful you are, how you do actually enjoy putting some effort into your finished look and he’ll try to push you to start doing little things you already want to but haven’t. “Love you look so nice like that, I’d be so happy to be able to look at you in that outfit while we run a few errands..”

(Before anyone gets on my ass about ‘infantilising him’ take it from some who has dealt with severe social anxiety, that shit gets debilitating so yeah competency kinda takes a back seat to unnecessary adrenaline and panic)

Now I shall be curling into a ball since I don’t have much material to imitate his speech patterns in every day life so this feels bad

[franciskirkland]

LietPol Headcanons

yay!!! love them <3

so in the early fandom days i used to read a lot of lietpol and write a bit of it, this time around i haven't given it much thought but it's such a good ship and deserves more attention imho. i consider them an old married couple much like england and france.

the femdom ship of all time (i don't have a solid gender headcanon for poland but he seems so bigender to me... like my babygirl. or maybe he's non binary or just a flamboyant femboy. anyway.)

you know the 4 pm dick flattening meme? yeah that's them.

"he asked for no pickles" but liet is already eating the sandwich made incorrectly bc he doesn't really give a fuck. acceptable sandwich.

they're probably toxic in a way that looks really fun and cute externally. there is no way feliks isn't some flavor of crazy. but its ok he's so quirky about it!!! he likes pretending he's harley quinn or some shit. he's such a messy bitch and never grew out of it. he calls tolys daddy despite keeping the man's balls in a ziplock bag in his knockoff louis vuitton.

as far as tolys he's a very multifacted character but i can't see him as like this badass that he's apparently portrayed as in recent fandom.

he's socially awkward and neurotic and tired of everyone and poland is his biggest migraine but that bussy game is ridiculous and he gets off on being treated poorly. he keeps repeating happy wife happy life like some sort of mantra while completely losing his shit. i don't think he's actually like a pathetic wet noodle i do think he could be kind of a simp but it's inadvertent he's just trying to appease feliks because that satisfied lil smirk and evil gay laugh is what he lives for.

but it's not all that, they do have their sappy romantic moments, are emotionally vulnerable with one another, and have a lot of fun together. i see them playing jokes on each other a lot, watching movies together and snuggling, finding new hobbies that they can do as a couple like cooking or completing 'challenges' like. '30 autumn date ideas' or watching films off a list. and shopping together!!!

i see feliks putting in a lot of effort to cheer tolys up when he's down and if he ever does actually hurt his self esteem he's quick to apologize, reassure him, and make it up to him however he wants. i feel like tolys isn't a super romantic guy in general, at least he has trouble displaying it, but he's always in awe of how he managed to land such a cutie and doesn't let feliks forget that he's appreciated.

[we-have-bangtan]

Again.

Pairing: Doctor! Yoongi x Patient! Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Crack (??), Ex's, smut

Warning: Swearing, smut (just an old memory)

Synopsis: When Yn is forced to go to the hospital after falling down the stairs of her office. The doctor who was to attend to her was none other than her ex-boyfriend Min Yoongi.

A/n: let me know if you like it! And give me a reblog to support me!!!

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Yn turned over onto her back, her eyes still closed. She wondered silently why her normally soft bed was hard today. With another roll, she landed with a thud on the cold, hard floor, jolting her awake.

When the blinding lights of the room filled her vision, she suddenly regretted opening her eyes. She sat on the floor, rubbing her eyes to clear the sleep from them, oblivious to the drool on her chin. Her eyes opened in confusion when she saw the IV line on her wrist, her gaze following the line, attached to a bottle mounted onto an IV stand.

She sprang to her feet immediately, taking in her surroundings: the IV stand, the white bed, white walls, the hand sanitizer mounted on the wall, the white floor tiles, and the white blinds that kept the sunshine out.

A hospital? She guessed as she took in all the equipment, the machines that beeped every few seconds were a dead giveaway. Is this a private room? She asked herself, trying to find any clue which hospital this was when the door swung open.

Min Yoongi entered the room, wearing a white lab coat and a stethoscope around his neck. He walked over to her side and encouraged her to take a seat on the bed.

"Where am I?" Despite the fact that she already knew the answer, she inquired. "Take a wild guess," Yoongi replied dryly as he flipped through the papers on his clipboard. Yn racked her brain for the name of the hospital; she was certain she knew which one Yoongi had been working at, but her mind was blank, displaying only a buffering page similar to that of a 2004 Dell laptop.

"Did you really hit your head that hard?"  Yoongi said what he was thinking, a little concerned for her safety. "Do you have a headache? Can you recall what you ate for breakfast or what happened just before you passed out? "He questioned.

"My head hurts a bit, so for breakfast, I had cinnamon crunch with milk, and lunch I had a sandwich. Walking down the stairs is the last thing I recall," She responded. All of her responses matched what her coworkers had told them, leading Yoongi to believe that Yn simply didn't know where he worked and that her head was okay.

He was irritated that Yn had no idea where he worked, but he forced his resentment to the back of his mind before informing her that she was in a private room at Asan Medical Centre in Seoul. "Wait, are you serious?" She yelled as she struggled to get out of bed.

"Yes, seriously," he explained, forcing her back onto the bed "You fell down the stairs in your office and one of your colleagues brought you in; you were unconscious for 5 hours; you will need to stay the night so we can run some tests on you; you will need to stay the night so we can run some tests on you," he added. "Why on earth do you have no idea I work at Asan?"He demanded once he was done briefing her.

"I would have noticed if you hadn't blocked me on all your social media pages," Yn said after some thought. She hisses, reminding him why she was blocked in the first place. "I wouldn't have had to block you if you hadn't started tagging me in those dumb Facebook memes," he retorted as he paging one of the nurses to come to change the IV bag.

"Is there something bothering you? Aside from your head," Yoongi inquired, reaching for his fancy click pen, which Yn had given him in college. "You still use that?" She inquired, her gaze falling on the royal blue color of the pen, the brand name has faded over time. He calmly replied, "I started using it once I got my residence, now answer the question."

To search for any injury, Yn moved her limbs around, starting with her feet. She turned them around to look for any discomfort before moving on to her legs, which were still perfect.  She eventually tested her shoulders and despite her best efforts, winced in pain as she raised her left shoulder.

"Left shoulder, okay. Do you feel nauseous?"  Yn shook her head as Yoongi asked more.

"Any ringing in your ears?"

"Nope"

"Is that gray hair on your head?" Yn interjected, pointing to a few strands at the start of Yoongi's hairline. He dismissed her and instead scribbled a note on his clipboard.

"OK, so you don't have any concussion symptoms, your hearing is good, and you're not feeling dizzy and your eyesight is better than ever before considering the fact that you could pick out my gray hair from that far. We still have some blood work to do and I'm putting you on observation tonight in case any symptom pops up, you're free to go home after that," Yoongi informed.

He reasoned that saying anything else would be unprofessional of him. Heading for the door when, "Yah, why am I in a private room in the first place?" Yn intervened, preventing him from leaving. Yoongi replied, turning around to face her, "I figured it would be more convenient for you."

"Bruh, do you have any idea how broke I am," she grumbled, crossing her arms over her stomach. "I ain't a hotshot doctor to be able to afford a private room in Asan Medical Centre," she sneered. "Who said something about you paying?" asked Yoongi. As he returned to her side. "So, who is going to foot the bill?  You? " She inquired, he nodded, causing her jaw to drop. She was perplexed by his words and asked, "Why would you do that?" "What good is it to be a hotshot doctor?" He shrugged.

The mental picture of a very sleepy and confused Yn, with her hair all tangled up and a tiny spot of drool on her face had made him soft, and there was no stopping his heart from falling head over heels for her all over again as he walked out of the room, the smile he had been battling slowly crept into place...

.

.

.

Yoongi peeked into Yn's room after his shift, his shoulders slouching from the stress of his job. He had his coat and stethoscope wrapped over his arm, his hair slightly damp from the shower he had taken, his white t-shirt clinging to his body.

When they were dating, one of Yn's 'rules' was that if he wanted to get close to her, he had to shower after returning from the hospital because she hated the scent of antiseptic. With the scent of antiseptic all over her, he wondered how she was doing.

He discovered her in bed, knees drawn up to her stomach, phone in hand, the screen almost brushing her nose as she mindlessly scrolled through Instagram. Her food, which had been left on the side table, had not been touched.

He warned, walking into the room, "You'll go blind if you keep doing that." Yn's head snapped up at his voice but calmed down when she saw who it was. He drew up a stool next to the bed and checked what Yn had received from the hospital. Soup, kimchi, rice, and pickled radishes were served on the side (Yn hated those). "Is the food not to your liking?" Concerned about her dietary habits, he inquired.

"They don't have any salt or spice," she replied as she stowed her phone. Yoongi grimaced after taking a sip of the soup. There was no salt or pepper and was as bland as raw tofu.

"SEE!!" Yn screamed, delighted that she had been proven right, but Yoongi, not one to concede defeat, put on a display. "How come it's so salty?" His face scrunched up in exaggeration as he groaned. "Stop acting, I can see right through you," Yn said, raising an eyebrow to call him out on his nonsense.

"All right, fine, you're right," Yoongi conceded as Yn yanked the sheets off herself and reached for his shoulders. He thought it was strange, but didn't say anything when she gently rubbed the spot near his collar, the tension in his shoulders dissipating as she applied pressure. He'd always thought Yn had magical hands. It felt like a miracle to have her hands on him again, something he had never expected to feel again.

"Can you tell me what I can do to get you to order me a plate of jjajangmyeon?" Yn asked. Yoongi thought, Darn it, I knew it was a trap, but he was too relaxed to say no. As she worked out the knots in his muscles, he melted under Yn's touch. She was no longer connected to the IV, enabling her to freely move about the room.

"I knew you were only in it for food," he chuckled, moving away from her to grab his phone from his coat, "What else did you think I was in it for?" Yn jested, playing along as she massaged his shoulders.

"Only jjajangmyeon?" He questioned, scrolling through the options, Yn looking at the phone from over his shoulder. "Order some side dishes too," she added, Yoongi let out a groan when Yn put pressure on THE SPOT at the back of his shoulder blade, the sound making Yn blush. "Stop that, people will think we're filing a porno," Yn scolded lightheartedly, continuing her ministering.

"I don't think we need to film any more of those, I have a whole collection already," Yoongi teased. His gummy smile showing up when he felt Yn's hand round his throat, threatening to choke him. "I think it's the other way round," he scoffed. His heart going into dangerous territory.

Yoongi remembered the night he had discovered Yn's choking kink, it had been a very eventful night. He had just come back home from the hospital when he had heard moaning coming from his bedroom, he had walked inside, totally unprepared for the breathtaking view that awaited him.

Watching porn wasn't considered cheating by Yoongi as long as Yn showed him what she was watching so he knew what they were getting into. When he walked in on Yn in his rotating chair, her legs spread out on the armrest, touching herself to a film about choking, he was pleasantly surprised. He went up behind her softly and wrapped his fingers around her throat, not putting much pressure. When Yn groaned for him, he felt himself harden in his pants and murmured, "You like that baby."

"Stop imagining it," Yn snapped, pushing away from Yoongi, "How do you expect me to just stop, those were some great moments of my life," he chuckled when his phone rang. It had something to do with the meal. He went to get the dinner by himself, leaving Yn alone.

When he returned with her dinner, he delivered it to her before saying his goodbyes and preparing to leave. "Enjoy your meal and get some sleep," he added as he gathered his belongings. "Where are you going?" Yn inquired. "Home??" Yoongi answered, taking his phone from the table when Yn stopped him. "Did you have dinner?" she asked, opening up the takeout box to reveal a generous serving of jjajangmyeon.

"Not yet, I was planning on getting some on the way," He answered, waiting for Yn to say anything. "Then you should stay and give me some company, it's not like I can finish all this on my own," She mumbled. "You sure?" Yoongi confirmed, taking his place on the chair as Yn grabbed the chopsticks from the bedside table, letting him have the wooden chopsticks that the restaurant provides.

They both dug into the meal, savoring every mouthful. In the otherwise peaceful hospital, just the sound of them slurping their noodles and the beep of the monitors could be heard. The majority of the patients were fast asleep, and those who were awake were taking special precautions to avoid making any noise.

Yn was the one who broke the stillness by inquiring about Holly. He said, licking his lips to get rid of the sauce, "She's good, I got her a ribbon for her ears the other day." He was intrigued about Yn's cranky cat, Buster, who had scratched Holly once. Yoongi's heart dropped to his stomach as Yn replied, "We had to put him down."

Although he was simply a large, sluggish cat who refused to get his butt off the window pane, Buster had been Yn's pride and joy, her support system. "That must have been difficult," Yoongi paused, unsure of how to express his condolences.

"It had to be done; he was in a lot of agony," Yn shrugged, shaking her head to clear her mind. "How are the boys doing?  I haven't seen them since we broke up" Yoongi's six other friends were the subject of Yn's inquiry. He assured her everyone was ok. "You might see Jungkook tomorrow," he said, explaining that he had taken the day off today. "Does Jungkookie work here?" Yn inquired, quite surprised by the information. "Yes, he's an intern trying to get his residence, surprising isn't it," Yoongi admitted.

Yn burped after she finished her dinner, making Yoongi laugh at how cute she looked. Once Yn had freshened up, Yoongi said, "Ok, now that you've finished eating, I'll go home, and YOU'LL go to sleep." "You always leave," Yn remarked, rolling her eyes. The words weighed heavy on his mind as he tucked her in. On his way out, he turned out the light and gave her one last look before walking away.

Yoongi slouched his shoulders again once he was in his car. The words Yn had just said reverberated in his mind. Since he had broken up with Yn, the words "You always leave" had tormented him. He had been in love with her, yet he was the one who had abandoned her. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND, HE LEFT HER. It was painful to recall the details of their breakup.

Yn crying into his chest, asking why she wasn't enough. Him holding her as fiercely as he could, not knowing if he'd ever get another chance. His cowardice had broken both of them that night. He'd run away from one of the most precious part of his life, and he still regrets it.

They had broken up because of him. Yoongi always believed Yn deserved someone better than him, she was too good for him. She had yelled at him when he had told her that. Saying that it was her who got to decide who was worth her time and affection, and if h really thought h didn't deserve her then maybe he should make himself deserving, she had said that that was the solution for Yoongi's thoughts, breaking up was not the solution, but he was stubborn as a mule, refusing to see how he was destroying both of them and everything they had.

And now here he was, striving to be less of a wimp than he had been all those years before. He remembered how enraged the boys had been when he told them what he'd done. "Have you gone insane?" All Yoongi could do was nod when Jin Hyung asked. Yes, he'd gone nuts, which was why he'd been insane enough to let her go. He had no problem admitting it.

He cruised around the deserted roads, far too late in the evening for anyone to be out. He considered calling Jin hyung for advice, but he opted against it because he assumed he was already in bed. For the rest of the night, he was alone with his thoughts, his mind eating away at him, keeping him awake at night, tossing and turning in bed, contemplating what they could have been if he hadn't been a coward.

.

.

.

.

The next morning was the same as any other, the only difference being the speed of Yoongi's car when he was on his way to the office. The usual 60km/h had escalated to 80km/h and he was certainly a little too excited for someone who was going to be at the hospital for the next 18 hours.

He was walking up the corridor to Yn's room after exiting the elevator on the third level when he heard screams. "MOVE, MOVE OUT OF THE WAY PEOPLE!" shouted Yn as Jungkook pushed her wheelchair down the slanted corridor quicker.

What the fuck!!, Yoongi thought as he saw Jungkook climb onto the wheelchair's back supports, watching in horror as the two of them laughed and giggled their way down the corridor at full speed (which wasn't much speed btw), completely disregarding the 'no noise' and 'no running' placards which were stuck to the wall.

He quickly stepped in the way, feeling a little sense of joy watching Jungkook's eyes widen in fright. Bringing the wheelchair to a screeching halt a few inches away from Yoongi. "Good morning, Hyung!!" he said cheerfully as if he hadn't just broken every regulation in the hospital.

"Can you tell me what you're up to?" His gaze fell on Yn, who appeared to be having the time of her life. "Relax, Yoongo-boongo," Yn remarked. Yoongi frowned at the old nickname, which he had pleaded with Yn to abandon.

"This is risky, you know," Yoongi said, "especially since you wounded your shoulder," He added, quick to understand that Jungkook had no idea about Yn's wounded shoulder. "You hurt your shoulder?!?" the younger one screamed. Yn scowled at Yoongi for giving up that knowledge so easily. Yoongi justified himself by saying, "Don't look at me like that, he was going to find out regardless."

"Yes, but you didn't have to tell him so early, now he won't let me have any fun." She whined, Yoongi scoffed at that, "he isn't supposed to make you have 'fun', he'd supposed to take you to get your x-ray done, it's on the first floor."

Yn pouted as Jungkook nodded at the instructions, pushing the wheelchair with Yn still in it towards the elevator. "Without the wheelchair," Yoongi clarified, making Jungkook pout as well, helping Yn out of the wheelchair.

They both sulked like kicked puppies in the elevator and Yoongi could not stand it. "Ok, fine, take the freaking wheelchair, but just be careful." he said, finally giving in. The two of them gave him bright smiles. Yn sat back in the wheelchair just as the elevator door slid open and Jungkook rolled Yn out.

They're fortunate. Yoongi thought to himself as he went about his rounds that Namjoon owned the hospital. While Yn was getting her x-ray, he checked in with his patients. Yn had a good night's sleep and awoke fairly early, according to the nurse in charge of her surveillance. She felt a minor headache, but nothing else was wrong with her. Only the shoulder was a big issue, and they were unable to determine what was causing the pain.

It took 2 hours for Yoongi to check up on all his patients and meet with a few others in the clinic when Jungkook barged into Yoongi's office with an envelope. "Jungkook you can't just barge in like that," Yoongi groaned as he quickly gave the patient their prescription before sending them out. Telling the receptionist to not send any more patients, he turned all his attention to Kook.

"Now, what's wrong?" He asked, spinning in his chair to face the intern. "Noona's reports are here" Jungkook informed, holding out the envelope. "So fast?" Yoongi questioned. It usually took a day or two for the reports and none of the radiologists took Jungkook seriously, dismissing him as just an intern. He found it suspicious that they had given the reports back so early.

"Namjoon hyung was there for an inspection, he got it done when he saw noona," Jungkook said with a cheeky grin. Yoongi nodded at the explanation. Namjoon always had a soft spot for Yn regardless of if Yn and he were together. He pulled out the reports, scanning through them. "Where is Yn now?" He asked, putting the reports back inside. Jungkook informed that Namjoon had taken her to her room, playing along with Yn's wheelchair drama.

Yoongi rolled his eyes at that, but Jungkook didn't miss the quiver of his lips. Jungkook followed Yoongi upstairs to Yn's room, where they found Yn squishing Namjoon's cheeks. Jungkook joined them, laughing, and Yn hastily let Namjoon free. "So, Doctor, what do you have to say?" Yn asked as Namjoon got out of the chair, rubbing his red-tinged cheeks.

"You must slow down with the usage of your shoulder. You appear to be putting a lot of tension on it; fortunately, it's only strain and nothing dangerous." Yoongi said, instructing Yn to apply heat and ice packs to the affected area. "Are you going to issue me a leave sick note?" Yn inquired as she got out of bed.

"Nope, you can go back to work just fine as long as you don't do any heavy lifting," Yoongi said, scribbling something on a piece of paper. "Yah, Yoongi-ah pleaseeeee write me a sick note," Yn pleaded as she searched for the t-shirt she had worn when she had come into the hospital yesterday. "Nope, and are you really going to wear that?" He asked, surprised that Yn hadn't called anyone to come to pick her up.

"Yeah, I need to head home," Yn answered, gathering her things, "Wait, you can't wear that, I have a spare shirt in my office I'll get that," Yoongi said, getting out of the chair while Namjoon and Jungkook exchanged knowing looks.

"We'll get it hyung, don't worry," Jungkook assured, dragging Namjoon with him. The two of them got into the elevator before spilling the tea. "He is SO whipped!" Jungkook exclaimed, pushing the button to go downstairs. "So is she and did you know Yoongi hyung was footing her bill and he got her a private room?" Namjoon asked, amazed at the extent his extremely tsundere hyung was going to for Yn. "He's pretty much in love all over again, and the nurse said that Yoongi hyung spent more than an hour in noona's room," Jungkook informed with a giddy smile.

"Jin hyung NEEDS to know about this," Namjoon exclaimed but made no move to call their hyung, quickly going to Yoongi's office and grabbing the gray FG shirt which was in his locker before going back upstairs.

As soon as the boys returned to the room, Yn grabbed the t-shirt. She hurriedly removed the hospital gown she had been compelled to wear. Yoongi was quick to respond, instantly stepping in front of Yn so the two younger men wouldn't get a glimpse of his lovely ex's exquisite body, and only pulling away once Yn was covered in his shirt.

"You didn't have to do that, I was wearing a tank top beneath," Yn said, tucking the shirt's hem into the jeans she had worn the day before. "For safety reasons," Yoongi shrugged, avoiding eye contact as though it weren't a big concern that he was covering up his ex. Namjoon's sniggering at the entrance went unnoticed.

"Noona how are going home?" Jungkook asked, checking the time realizing it was his lunch break. "I'll take a cab, don't worry," she assured, grabbing her phone and keys from the bedside table. "I'll drop you home, it'll be hard to get a cab at this time over here," Yoongi said, following after her into the hallway as Jungkook and Namjoon watched.

As she approached the elevator, Yn commented, not really trying to stop Yoongi from coming with her, "There's a thing called uber Yoongi, I'm sure I'll catch a cab." "Jesus woman, will you ever accept aid without a fight?" Yoongi moaned as he snatched her wrist and brought her downstairs to get his keys.

"Aish is so stubborn," Yn grumbled as she trailed behind him, her hand slipping into Yoongi's. They didn't seem to be aware that they were holding hands.

.

.

.

.

"Jin hyung will be so happy hearing about this," Jungkook exclaimed, watching Yn and Yoongi argue like an old, married couple while holding hands as they went to the hospital parking lot.

"They look cute, 10$ that they get back together by the end of the month," Namjoon bet, moving away from the window of the private room. "Hyung, you literally own the hospital, I'm just a flimsy intern, how could you expect me to pay 10$," Jungkook whined making Namjoon laugh as Yoongi’s car spedmout of the driveway.

__________________________

[voidpers0n]

Greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you to much. May I please have a romantic matchup for Encanto? I use they/it/he pronouns and I’m pansexual with a preference to masculinity. My Myers Briggs type is INFJ and Enneagram type is 4. My star sign is Taurus, moon sign is Gemini. Im about 4’11..not to happy about it. I’m rather introverted, and can be considered not a people person. I find life a little nihilistic. I’m into dressing in all black and taking a liking to gruesome and morbid things like slashers, Tim Burton, death games, true crime documentaries, poetry, necromancy and anatomy. I also like to visit abandoned hospitals and houses just for fun, along with playing quite a few escape rooms. I just have a genuine comfort in the uncomfortable. I get a lot of monikers from friends in family like "discount babydemonx", "doomer boy kinnie", and "Remake of Daria" before. I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start conversing, which may or may not come off as rude to people. When I finally become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. Most of my humor comes off really insulting, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke if it becomes a problem. Even though I do have a hard time understanding physical social cues. Lots of people don’t like me or stay away from me because of my rude behavior. I’m not good with overly sensitive or overly annoying people at all because of that, and I can’t stand kids. Idiocy can get on my nerves too sometimes. I’m a huge animal person though. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’ve been told I’m also a laidback person. I’m the type of person that has lots of opinions on things but I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and aggressive. Especially with the types mentioned above. I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, reading and or listening to music ( Deftones, Arch Enemy, MurderDolls, Slipknot, Rob Zombie,,, sometimes Will Wood, McCafferty, Jazmin Bean or Mother Mother, etc. ), or even occasionally playing video games or reading and talking about Greek mythology or some random documentary I read. My interests tend to be very restricted, and I shut down easily getting into new things. I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I’m guilty of being very submissive and maybe even masochistic- and a bit of a pyromaniac. I suffer from autism, GERD, depression and anxiety. I have stims where I bite the inside of my cheek, pull my hair, crack or pop my bones, pick at scabs, fidget with my fingers or toy and bounce my leg. I even hiss or squeal when I’m upset. I’ve also been developing a eating disorder. If you do get to this, thanks for your time. - coii

This is my first time so it may not be the most accurate

I match you up with...

Camilo Madrigal

He was only 30% intimidated,the other 70% was him being quite interested in you

You guys are the definition of Bright and Dark (in clothing style and a bit of personality)

He'd be more than happy to accompany you in visiting an abandoned building

Don't worry about offending him with ur humor much,this boy will bite back

But if he hurts ur feelings,he will immediately apologize.

Both of ur humor combined can sometimes lead to arguments, which is fine,no relationship is perfect and you guys manage to make up in the end

You guys are the "Excuse me! He asked for no pickles" meme

He likes that you're chill, sometimes having to always entertain and help people can get absolutely exhausting,so having someone who isn't overly energetic and is pretty laid-back is like a breath of fresh air to him.

If you ever wanna talk about greek mythology or some documentary then he's willing to listen,he may not understand much but he's putting in an effort to try and keep up

You might have to explain it to him though

He definitely takes advantage of ur height and uses you as an armrest

He likes being the big spoon when cuddling

He'll try and help you with your eating disorder and depression

He's always there to remind you that you're loved and that you're not alone

You love animals? He'll get Antonio to introduce you to some of the animals

A difference between you two is that he likes children,you don't.

Wich is completely fine,he understands that children can be annoying sometimes.

@buzz-k1ll

If you don't like the person I've matched you with,you are free to tell me to match you with someone else :]

[vegetalass]

RDR2 Boys Cooking + Eating Habits

Arthur 

Somebody else on here wrote some headcanons about Arthur not being able to cook and just eating microwave food all the time and I just have to say…. That’s canon 

Lowkey though he’s trying his best to get better at cooking

Probably the only thing he knows how to make is pasta 

He adds a bunch of random frozen veggies to water as the noodles are cooking 

And then smothers the whole thing in butter and calls it a meal

Or he puts marinara sauce on it straight from the jar 

And yes, that means it’s cold

He’s also getting better at friend rice, too

But he’s really bad at actually making rice 

If he doesn’t add too much water… He burns the bottom 

Charles makes a mental note to buy him a rice cooker for his birthday 

Makes his own popsicles out of random fruit juices and eats them 24/7 

Thinks this qualifies him as a chef

Eats pickles and olives straight out of the jar with a fork 

And sauerkraut too probably 

Just goes over to john’s house on his pizza nights 

Puts ketchup on eggs

John 

Pizza dad 

Probably orders pizza, salad, and a 64oz soda twice a week 

Everything else is just Dino chicken nuggets, Eggos, hot dogs, quesadillas, and frozen peas and corn 

Food you feed to little kids, basically 

Mostly because he does have a little kid 

But also because it’s easy and takes minimal effort and he doesn’t mind eating it, too

Abigail would be mad but she has no room to talk

The most you’ll see him actually make is buttered pasta (like Arthur) or sometimes beans and rice 

Abigail bought them a rice cooker a while ago so that’s one thing he doesn’t have to worry about 

Probably always has some type of dessert laying around 

Doesn’t mean it’s good, but it’s there 

Abigail buys a bunch of those gross, low calorie ice creams and John ends up having to finishing them 

Family lunches consist of a bologna sandwich on wheat bread with American cheese and mayo, a piece of fruit, a bag of chips or crackers, a go-gurt, and some gummies 

And yes he makes them for himself and Abigail too 

They’re all eating good at the Marston household 

(Not really)

Charles 

Everything he cooks are things that can’t be made in single batches 

Lots of healthy soups, chilis, stew, etc…

Most of the time, he makes too much of whatever it is so he always has leftovers 

Everyone is jealous when he brings them for lunch

Probably finds all of his recipes in the newspaper or random magazines he reads while at the grocery store checkout line

Everyone is like, “Charles… Why are you reading Women’s Fitness?” 

And he’s like, “Check out this salad recipe, though”

Puts hot sauce on everything 

Salad, macaroni and cheese, hamburgers... You name it 

And he’s the king of snacking

All of his snacks are healthy, though

Raw veggies and fruit and quinoa chips from Whole Foods or something like that

Nobody likes this

He’s one of those people who brings hard boiled eggs everywhere as a “snack,” too

And yea, he puts hot sauce on those, also 

He really likes those weird protein bars that are hard to bite into and taste like chalk 

The flavors are either normal stuff like white chocolate macadamia or Protein Power Punch with whey, chia and seaweed 

There’s no in between 

He’s also a charcuterie board legend

Hosea is jealous of this talent

Micah

Spends all his money on take out 

He’s totally one of those weird people who’s entire trash can is just filled with take out boxes and cans of coke or beer

Constantly eating fast food 

You ask him what he bought at the supermarket and he’s like “Pub mix and bud light” 

SIR 

Everything that he does manage to cook only involve one step of preparation 

Unseasoned, fried meats and boiled veggies 

Sometimes scrambled eggs and bacon

If he’s feeling fancy, he will make plain sandwiches

This is very rare, though

Can and will complain about anyone’s cooking

Even if it’s good and he he likes it

There are certain people he can’t do this to, though, or they won’t let him eat

The only person’s cooking he doesn’t complain about is Dutch’s

Constantly snacking from an entire party sized bag of chips

And yes, he eats straight out of the bag and wipes his fingers on his jeans

His oven is dirty

Hosea 

A meal for him is probably a handful of almonds and an applesauce or yogurt cup 

He is constantly making a bunch of those Tik Tok recipes where you just put a bunch of random stuff into your crock pot and add ranch seasoning and cream cheese

*insert all of those memes about mom pulling out the crock pot*

If you complain, he says “Well, you’re always welcome to cook, too”

Wears an apron when he cooks

Constantly eating plain toast with butter

And bananas 

And cheese sticks

Thinks that this makes him “healthy” 

Definitely likes to snack on those cocktail fruit cups and canned mandarin oranges

His entire freezer is just full of ice cream 

It’s all weird flavors like Cherry Garcia, chocolate banana, and pistachio though

Everyone hates him for this

Raisins are his late night treat 

Has a secret stash of candy no one can find 

That’s okay though because it’s mostly Werthers Originals

And Chiclets gum

He picks out all the orange ones, though

Dutch

Tries to re-plate takeout so he can call it his own

Everybody sees through this but they stopped commenting on it like four Thanksgivings ago 

Buys a bunch of those meals from Costco that all you need to do is heat up in the oven

He does like fast food but only from the less popular places

Carl’s Jr., Wendy’s, BK, Arby’s, etc. 

A&W, too, because he’s old and weird

He can totally cook, he just never does 

It’s just normal stuff like spaghetti and meatballs or chicken and rice, though

Tuna fish casserole

He over-seasons everything, though

Mostly because he’s trying to prove that he’s a good cook 

Eats dessert twice, every night 

Once right after dinner, and then later when he’s feeling like a treat 

Will eat in bed

Uses a little bib and tray and everything 

Likes pumpkin and sunflower seeds

Would eat hot wings with gloves on 

He’s the one who taught Arthur to put ketchup on eggs 

Kieran 

The second I realized that Kieran would probably be white trash, my life changed 

Hamburger Helper meals for LIFE

That one cheeseburger pasta? Kieran probably eats that three times a week 

He 100% makes the ketchup-butter sketti from Honey Boo Boo 

“It’s been a while since I done had roadkill in my belly”

His favorite dessert is ambrosia salad or that weird yogurt/Cool Whip covered jello that was popular in the 2000s

Probably has a TV dinner every once in a while, too

Instant mashed potatoes and minute rice type of guy 

Also gives me big microwave cheddar broccoli vibes 

I’ve said this before, but his house is probably stocked with all kinds of on-brand goodies 

Probably always has some kind of chip and cookie around 

Eats dinner in front of the TV

Dips french fries in mayonnaise

All of this said though, he isn’t a picky eater and will eat whatever is put on his plate 

That’s why he’s great to take to restaurants, because he never complains

Honestly it’s just so sweet to think of him making big crockpot meals to share with ppl even if his cooking is a lil.... strange 

Javier

Thinks that the hot dog combo from Costco is a suitable dinner 

Also gets hot food from the grocery store for dinner a lot

Literally will just heat up a can of something and eat it plain 

Beans, chili, soup… 

Doesn’t doctor it up or change it at all 

He’s happy to share but no one wants any

Chips and dip, 24/7

And it’s just Tostitos Hint of Lime chips and hummus

Probably puts hummus on everything, too 

Corn chips, tortilla chips, tortillas, vegetables, sandwiches, etc. 

Will put anything in a tortilla and call it a sandwich 

Eats leftovers cold 

The rest of the gang thinks this is a sin

Makes stir fry with whatever is laying around the house

It’s a little gross because he will try to add leftover beans

Refuses to eat fast food

The only exception he’ll make is for french fries and ice cream

Walks around and eats at the same time

Isn’t above asking the other boys to share with him 

Despite the fact that this only happens if what they’re eating is good

Which is almost never

Sean

Sean can’t cook. That’s the end of it

The most he can make is that weird microwave Mac and cheese where the pasta is boiled in the mug?? 

He never does it tho and just sticks with the normal, frozen Mac and Cheese you can microwave instead

Uses his microwaving ability to make mug cakes

And microwave scrambled eggs

Burns his popcorn every single time

He’s probably set of the smoke detector or fire alarm multiple times

He’s Irish though so of course he’s addicted to potatoes and cabbage

And since he’s from the UK, he likes stuff like beans on toast and marmite

He’s a little nasty too so catch him eating bologna sandwiches on wonder bread

Not even the Marstons are that bad

When he does get takeout, he overspends trying to use a delivery app 

He’s like, “And do I need the extra side of special sauce for $5…? Yes.” 

Cooks like this 

[butchdaydreams]

1-99 :)

how tall are you?- I’m 5′6″ so I’m pretty average

what is your body type?- My body type is also pretty average I guess, I dont know a whole lot about body types

what is your favorite part about your body?- I have really pretty eyes and my smile is kinda lopsided but I like it all the same

is your current hair color your natural hair color?- Yes it is!

are you more outgoing or more shy?- I am very shy but I can learn to trust people

are you more femme or butch?- Well femme and butch aren’t a scale where you can be “more” of one or another. You either are one or you aren’t and thats all there is to it. But I’m a butch

are you tol or smol?- I’m smol at heart

wine mom or vodka aunt?- Neither, alcohol will kill me

weird habit?- I crack just about every joint in my body so I always sound like a human rice crispy treat

favorite meme?- Anything with dogs in it or those comic sans valentines sent at weird times of the year

do you sing in the shower?- I used to but I use a public shower now and I’ve fallen out of the habit

ever used a bow and arrow?- Yes, and I’m pretty good at it too

are/were you a theatre kid?- I was back in the day but I dropped it in high school so I could do orchestra and sports instead 

have you ever seen a broadway musical?- Yes, the last one I was was 4 or so years ago

do you think musicals are cheesy?- I think they can be but I don’t think that makes them bad

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?-I’ve gone to a couple because I’ve always lived near cities so they are pretty easy to get to

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?- Bees?

last movie you watched?-This really weird gay movie on netflix, I’m not even sure what it was about even though I just finished it like 20 minutes ago

behind the camera or in front of it?- Behind it all the way

favorite tv show?- Primeval

meaning behind your url- I’m a butch and I am all of your daydreams

reason you joined tumblr- I was a depressed kid 7 years ago who needed somewhere to go, and this is where I ended up

who’s your closest tumblr friend?- @kinkyfemmeprincess at the moment, but I dont think she knows it

what’s something most people love that you hate?- I eat an obscene amount of pickles on a daily basis

have you ever taken narcotics?- Yes and I’ve hated it every time

have you had sex?- Yes I have and thats where that ends

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?- I don’t think so, or if I have I’ve always been able to talk my way out of it

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?- I try not to lie so nothing really comes to mind

describe your passion without mentioning it.- They are small and cute and not real but also could kill you with a single glance most of the time

describe your best friend.- He’s smaller than I am so I have to protect him, and we love to antagonize one another but its the fun kind of antagonizing 

give us one thing about you that no one knows.-I run this blog because I am lonely and need that sweet sweet validation

how do you feel right now?- Kinda sad because I was way more into a girl than she was into me and now its over and I miss her

what is your biggest fear?- Being left behind or forgotten by those I care about

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?- Footloose

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?- I think going to school was a good choice because every good thing that has happened to me in the last three years has come from that choice

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?- Yeah, girls man. Sometimes you just can’t win

something you fantasize about.- I really want to own one of those little mini cows with the curly hair 

last time you cried and why- Last night as I had my final conversation with that girl I mentioned earlier

what was the last thing that made you laugh?- I went fossil hunting today and my friend fell on her butt in a creek

do you really, truly miss someone right now?- Yeah, yeah I do

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?- I think the boy I mentioned earlier, he is a good listener even if he can’t fix the problems

the last time you felt broken?- Whenever someone leaves me

are you starting to realize anything?- That maybe I expect too much from people and I need to learn to just accept what I’m given or I will be very lonely

are you more dominant or more submissive?- I’m dominant in the way that I am strictly a top but submissive in that I will do exactly what you ask me to because I want to see you happy

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)- You are willing to try and show me that you love and care for me

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?- I like people who aren’t more than two years older or younger than me

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.- I’ve never met them in person, but for a while she was the sweetest person I knew. She would talk to me and make me feel loved and special, but she lost interest as people do and it’s over now

do you have any kinks?- I love teasing and edging and overstimulation

first thing you notice in a person?- Their eyes, I love eyes 

how can someone win your heart?- Talk to me, listen to me, and let me know that you care about me

been rejected by a crush?- More times than I can count. One time I told a girl I liked her and she responded by saying that she didn’t like me back and was leaving the country for four years

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?- Again, more times than I could count

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?- No, because I want to respect her boundaries 

is trust a big issue for you?- Yes, it is hard for me to trust people and each time it is broken it gets a little harder

did you hang out with the person you like recently?- No, I didn’t get to meet her in person

is confidence cute?- Oh yes!

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?- I don’t say anything, I let it happen and walk away because who am I to take that away from them

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?- No, because I think  that laughing around another person is a huge part of a relationship

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?- Yes she does but that’s how it goes

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?- I trip over things a lot, and I mix up my words and drop things. I’m an all around mess when I like someone

do you want to get married?- I would love to, it is a dream of mine. I know this generation is trying to do away with marriage, but I like the idea a lot

worst thing you’ve ever done?- My ex wound up in the hospital for four days after she tried to kill herself when I broke up with her. She told me she would do it if we ever broke up months before we did, but I did it anyway knowing she would do it

three things that turn you on.- Looking at me with that determined look and knowing that you are getting what you want from me, trying to turn me on because you want me, and when all else fails, telling me that you are wet because you want me

who do you hate?- I don’t think I hate anyone. It is hard to make me mad and I am very forgiving

favorite term of endearment?- Stick the word “my” in front of any pet name and I will melt

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?- When Hayley Kiyoko played Velma in that live action scooby doo movie

intimidating girls or kind girls?- Kindness is the way to my heart

what do you look for in a possible partner?- I look for someone who I could trust to be able to help me look after any kids we had together with out holding any resentment if we were to ever get divorced

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?- I like people on the feminine or androgynous side of things

are you good at flirting?- I don’t think so but I also know that some people find that to be endearing 

who was the first person you came out to?- My friend Emily, I wanted advice on asking a girl to prom and then more advice on how to get over the rejection 

do you have any friends who are wlw?- Most of my friends are gay in some way because straight people are stupid

is your crush wlw?- Yes

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?- No one, I am a die hard lesbian and would not touch a man with a 12 foot pole even if I was paid

write a short love poem to your crush/self? Roses are red/ violets are blue/ if you don’t talk to me/ then I wont put in the effort for you

do you fall in love easily?- Far, far too easily

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?- The whole situation with my ex

are you good at hiding your feelings?- I’d say so. People think they can tell, but thats when I’m putting on the act of hiding my feelings while still hoping that they notice

are you a forgiving person?- I am a very forgiving person and it has gotten me into trouble more than once

what is your “type?”- Soft, caring, enthusiastic girls

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?- I typically hold her, but every once in a while even a butch needs to be held

tall girls or short girls?- I’m 5′6″, so I can appreciate both girls who are taller and shorter. I think I would go with shorter

hugs or kisses?- Kisses!!! Kiss me!!!! Please!!!

twirl her around or get twirled?- I get buff so I can pick up my wife one day

tummy kisses or thigh kisses?- Thighs

hairline kisses or neck kisses?-Neck

play with her hair or stroke her tummy?- Play with her hair because tummies are often ticklish 

making out or soft kisses?- Soft kisses that lead to making out

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?- Also neck

how confident are you in your sexuality?- I am confident that I am a lesbian, but not to confident to proclaim it to the homophobic town I live in 

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?- Oof, I get both. So much it feels like I can’t breathe sometimes

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?- I believe in being honest, so I have told everyone that I have liked that I am into them

how old were you when you realized you were into girls?- 7th grade, but I denied it to myself until 10th grade

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?- I walk into a lot of things while staring at girls or my phone screen

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?- This is lame, but Korra and Asami from the Avatar series

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?- Anything that even implies that I should give men a shot or be more open to men

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?- Just a couple of days ago, before you stopped talking to me

what is love to you?- Love its more than that feeling of butterflies. It’s seeing when they are struggling, and its helping them even when you are struggling too. Its a choice you make to stay faithful and remember them, it’s the choice you make to go just a little bit out of your way to make their life better. It’s choosing to loose an argument where you can prove that you are right with sources because you hate seeing them mad. Love is how you care for someone even when it hurts. Love is putting them first in everything you do

[dashinberlin]

The First Day of the Rest of My Life in Berlin

Welcome to my diary. I have been meaning to keep one of these for the whole of my twenties but I never got around to it. I’m currently 26 years old and today was the day that I moved to Berlin. It was a   decision i made one year and ten days ago on the 13th of November. IT came about because my dreams and career have been stagnating for a while [4 years] In London and I really wasn’t happy anymore, especially after moving back in with my dad because my previous residence was too full of dogshit and used needles. I got up at about 8 I think. Dean, my ex boyfriend and best friend came over about 9, and we spent the morning sorting out a bunch of my last belongings. It was all very frantic and rushed, but I left the house in a state my dad was relatively pleased with. 

We went to the post office first to mail some rubber to my crush in America. It was rubber from my passed away Sir. We were such a scene trying to fix the broken granny trolley full of stuff for dean with parcel tape in front of a busy post office.  We got on the tube. It was a nightmare trying to navigate with three things on wheeels and about 5 or 6 back packs or bags. It was really strange and busy the whole things. Given that I had given myself a year to plan all of this, the fantasy-land version of myself had dreamed that everything would have been packed up and put to bed months ago, however the real version of me new I would be a qausi ,but never ever complete disaster as usual. In my head I think of myself as being one on a team of rag tag misfit kits who save the day wearing inventive but destroyed outfits, and brandish effective yet fucking weird and unconventional looking weapons.  

So yeah we got to the airport and checked in, nearly burst into tears telling the lady on the desk i’d been planning this day for a year. my mate Bill works at heathrow and he came and joined us at the whetherspoons to see me off. When we’d drank and the time came for us to leave I decided now was the perfect time to record a video with Dean where we read off and performed our list of completely fucking weird and abstract foiles-es-deux language memes from the stickynotes app on my laptop. “blabble fish” “octoboyfriend” “Hatch distress call” and “pacman around the shop” were all memes that we re-enacted for this video. it was LOLZ. 

And then the time was upon us. We walked to the gate, and we said goodbye. I pretty much instantly burst into tears telling dean good bye and how much i loved him, whilst holding him.  We’ve been joined at the hip seeing each other at least two times a week for four years so it was a bit tough. We said we loved each other and were thankful for the times we had. I gave bill a “come here Bill!” and pulled him close. 

Got through security and put my head-phones on. Next song up on my list was Foals- Spanish Sahara. This track is a work of art. It progresses so slowly I had to skip the first minute to be able to skip to the part where you could actually say it was a beginning verse. I walked to my gate (A26) as the song progresses. ....  This whole time, the last year I knew was going to be year of closing doors behind me, some shut easy, some shut with the sound of broken hearts bittersweet wishes. When I decided to leave London it was like suddenly my 3d interaction with the city and all the people in it had become a massive one way track labyrinthine palace and at every step where i knew it was the last time i’d be in one place, or talk to one person, I neatly and quietly closed the door of this memory behind me. At first you’re zig zagging all over town shutting doors, but when it gets closer to things like, your leaving party, and your last ten tube rides, and then last time you see people you see every day, and then suddenly you’re listening to Spanish Sahara (a song about abandoning a foresaken place) and you’re looking through airport glass at the plane your about to board and you let out a great big silent scream because the fucking plane door now not only represents final closure of the palace of your life in London, all the hopes, failures dreams, tears, memories, laughs, blood, semen, and ambitions of this place. It staggeringly also carries the weight of being a portal to another dimension. At this point the plane ceases to be a plane, but instead is now a vessel that carries you from your neatly shut-down city of failed dreams, through time and space, to your future in a world that you really don’t know that much about, apart from that there was a big wall that cut it in half, and that it is currently the  stunning playground of Gay Angels, Neo Nazi Demons, and all those in between... oh and by the way, they’re all dancing to techno and fucking on the dancefloor. 

So I board the plane. I go to my seat I booked, its by a window at the very back. I’m sitting there with tears in my eyes and a woman turns around from the seat in front of me and asks in german if the lighter she has just found on the floor is mine. I tell her no its not, an eventually in german “Dass is nicht mein feuerzoig” and we strike up conversation. I tell her very quickly this is my moving flight to berlin that i’ve been planning on for one , and she’s instantly overwhelmed with compassionate amazement. Her name is Ingrid. She was super sweet to me, and told me numerous times that she had huge respect for me making this gigantic leap, and the guts it took to make it, and how much fun berlin would be, and how so many people never listen to their gut instinct. Over the cours of the flight she tells me over her story, how she lived in Berlin for 10 years, in Schoneberg no less, and how she thought she’d be happier becoming a sister in a convent, and how her dream led her astray, and how it had hurt to leave everything to start again and it not worked out. She explained how she worked in finance for a bit, and then a hospice which was a her true calling in life, and now how she was doing finance work again....and was very unfulfilled.  I told her more of my year,  how the dogshit needle house and years of london stagnation had made me so anxious sometimes at work I just wanted to sit there and cry and scream at the blank wall in front of my desk. And how something drastic needed to be done. I told her how I lost Michael in Berlin and how is death affected me, nd how I believe in magic and the amazing energy of the universe that will help and guide you if you are good, and you believe, and if you ask nicely and you yearn, and you work hard it will heLP YOU THE FUCK OUT. Ingrid supported all my additions with points of her own, and I think in that moment she new that like me, her life had become derailed from it’s path towards destiny and that it was time to get off of this path of pointlessness and back on one which makes her happy.  That vessel. The wormhole to another life. Was a magical place to be. The plane flew over a beautiful wash of white clouds the whole way to Germany, and their textures changed from bright sunshine to darkness very quickly as sunset speed was enhanced by the plane’s cruising speed of threehundredandX MPH. With the ground obscured by smokewaves and light switch of the earth being flicked off so quickly, it was the transition from one path to another was practically audible. It was like the closing palace was actually my universe collapsing into a singular hyper dense singularity, and this new state, one even smaller than an atom was where I was in the vessel in that moment. The changing of the sky and the earth around me was actually the visual signs that my new future was being rotated and recalibrated around me, so that when the door of that fucking plane opened, a new palace and a new universe and a new future would burst out in front of me, sprawling infinitely. The name of that future is Berlin. 

The plane lands. I get my bags with Ingrid. We take a selfie, proclaim the importance and sacred of our meeting and we move on.  In the cab ride back to my place the driver welcomes me to Berlin and we instantly start talking about the insane nightlife. By the end of the cab ride he has revealed to me that he has always wanted to go to berghain and i give him some ideas of he could look cool and get in. and he is very thankful. He also told me how when he’s having sex he loves speaking in english because he finds it super fucking hot...like seriously, he spoke so emphatically that from what i can tell, english sex is to him what bondage fisting is to me. 

I hang about for ten minutes waiting for Alis excited as fuck. When she arrives and opens the foor and screams “welcome to your new chapter!!” she looks slightly concerned at me for  second because a few seconds has passed now and I’m so fulll of amazement and awe at those words my mouth was a big jar with a small lid, and  filled with big word pickles and none of the eighty word pickeles could come out. . . So I just sort of jumped in the air and screamed a abit. We climbed about 7 flights of  stairs up to the flat with my HEAVY Fuckng bags where she let me in and showed me my new room. Which. just. oh. my god. It’s. just. so fucking big. I can’t even believe it. I have the best room in the house! It’s long and tall, you could get about two and a half of my old bedroom in brixton into it easily.  Suddenly I was here, The sparks of my new life palace constructing itself in front of me. All I could think was that it seemed so easy in a way.  Like I had asked, and yes i did work, and save, and put in love and money and effort, and it just appeared in front me and now I can just go walk over, and pick it up and hold it and it’s mine. MY DREAM IS MINE AND ITS COMING TRUE EVERY SECOND THAT PASSES. 

[hadiden-lavellan]

Magic Meme: Hadiden Lavellan 1-10 if you have time >:3

1. When did your mage’s magic first manifest?

Hadiden’s magic surfaced at age 7. The whole story goes is that his mother sent him to the river, alone, to go fetch some water. While he’s there, he hears a sound and freaks out as something comes at him. He throws his hands up to block his face and ends up freezing the flying object. When he looks, he sees a frozen bird.

2. Did they try to keep it a secret from their family/close friends?

He kept it a secret from his entire clan. The only two people who knew about Hadiden’s magic, at least in the beginning, was his two parents. His father convinced little Hadiden to keep his magic hidden from everyone because he didn’t want Hadiden sent away. Hadiden’s dad was originally from Kirkwall and feared he would end up in Kirkwall and made tranquil. But once Hadiden leaves his clan to go to the conclave, his inner circle slowly starts to learn about his magic. Oh! There was also a human boy (Oliver) who knew about Hadiden’s magic, but he ran away after Hadiden showed him. It’s not a pleasant memory.

3. Has their magic ever hurt anyone by mistake?

No not really. The only person hurt by his magic was himself. Also, his parents. They lived with his secret and his outburst and mood swings. Hadiden was a troubled child/teen/adult due to keeping his magic a secret. So his parents had to deal with all of it and it hurts both of them to see Hadiden suffering over something he couldn’t control. I guess that counts as his magic hurting people?

4. Which spells came naturally and which were more difficult to learn?

Hadiden can usually handle fire, ice, and healing spells. Mostly elemental magic is his strongest fields. He also, once getting more comfortable, gets better with healing and studies that side of magic. Other than that, he’s really not very good at anything else, mostly because he didn’t start at a young age and practice his magic.

5. What is their favourite spell?

He loves healing. He likes the warm feeling it leaves in his hands and fingers and he likes knowing that his “curse” has been used for something good, like helping someone. I think his second favorite is fire anything because that’s an essential to being a hunter: making fire.

6. Do they put a lot of time into studying magic?

Pft. No. For 20 years after his magic appears, Hadiden refuses to even acknowledge that he has magic. During Inquisition, he still doesn’t do much with his magic. I think after Adamant that he decides to put a little effort into his magic. That doesn’t mean he’s very good or understanding. He struggles a lot. So no, he really doesn’t study much.

7. What attracted them to their specialization?

Hadiden is technically a knight-enchanter (I wanted the healing branch okAY). What drew him to the branch was that it was healing and that his trainer wanted to teach him confidence. Hadiden really liked the idea of confidence and being the leader everyone wanted him to be that he chose to pursue the knight-enchanter path. He doesn’t regret it.

8. How does your mage get along with other mages?

Hadiden gets along with other mages just as he does with any non-mage. Hadiden has no problem with mages actually. He will listen to them talk about magic and theories and everything in between. He thinks magic is fascinating but will refuse his own abilities. He admits to be strange about his opinion of mages vs opinion on his magic (liking/disliking pickles and disliking/liking relish). The thing is, he knows these other mages can control their abilities whereas he can’t. He thinks he’s dangerous. But normally, Hadiden gets along very well with other mages.

9. Does your mage have any sympathy for Templars?

He does! Don’t get me wrong, he’s very nervous around Templars, but seeing the pain Cullen goes through really humbled Hadiden. He starts to let go of a lot of his fear that /all/ Templars will hurt him or make him tranquil. He talks with Cullen a bit to find out what it was like being a Templar and realizes that Templars suffer too. Hadiden also really doesn’t like seeing the sick red Templars dying. He feels really bad because some of them didn’t know what they were getting into and were dying for something so dirty. He has a lot of sympathy for the Templars.

10. Do they consider magic a blessing or a curse?

cUrSe. Okay he thinks it’s a curse for himself. He hates his magic and believes it’s brought him nothing but pain and suffering. He’s lost connections to his family and clan, people he loved and wanted to be around, all because he feared his magic. He finds it a curse because he truly believes had he never had his magic, he would be okay and not as pained as he is. Now, he thinks that other mages have a gift when it comes to magic. He sees talent with other mages, like Dorian and Vivienne. He’s truly impressed by how they handle and wield magic. But in general, if you ask him how he feels about his own magic, it’s a curse.

[jaketapper]

Remarks to the Canadian Journalism Foundation

Last night I was honored with the Tribute at the Canadian Journalism Foundation awards in Toronto, Canada. Below are my prepared remarks; I deviated from the text slightly and tried to make edits below to better reflect what I said.

I want to thank the CJF and more specifically the Gala Committee - David Walmsley, Maureen Shaughnessy Kitts and Natalie Turvey - for selecting me for this tribute.

I would also like to thank Peter Mansbridge for those lovely remarks and more importantly for his decades at the CBC, serving as a beacon for anchors across the continent, speaking truth to power, and calm to panic. I know this nation has come to depend on you to guide it through times of difficulty and joy, and I know she will miss your nightly presence.

It is such an honor to receive this award, especially as someone who isn’t Canadian, someone born in New York and raised in Philadelphia. I was seven during the American Bicentennial in Philadelphia, the heart of American democracy, so it was interesting when a few years ago i began doing some genealogical research and discovered that many of my ancestors, the Huffs, fought in the Revolutionary War. The surprise was that they fought for the British and then fled to Canada. They continued to fight on your side in the war of 1812. This was of course something of a rude awakening for a Philly boy.

Of course i knew of my Canadian roots -- My mother was born in Ottawa, and came to the U.S. with her family when she was 7. My grandfather Everett Palmatier fought with the Royal Canadian Navy during World War II serving on the HMCS Cobalt, a Flower-class corvette that participated in escorting convoys in the Atlantic. My grandmother Helen worked as a confidential secretary for the Canadian government. My great uncle Edwin Palmatier, a tailgunner, was shot down and killed by the Luftwaffe in that war. There is a lake named after him in this country. In January 1917, one hundred years ago, my great great grandfather David Dyson, a pickle and vinegar merchant was the mayor of Winnipeg -- for four days. He lost the recount.

Now, if I were Tom I would make a joke about how Peter Mansbridge covered that recount. But I am not so I will not.

Grammie and Grampie and Uncle Edwin and David Dyson are no longer with us, but i brought my mother here tonight and I want to take a moment to honor her for not only having been a loving and selfless mother but for having instilled in me concepts of compassion and decency that i hope have shaped the way i live and also how i perceive my responsibility as a journalist. Thank you, Mom. I love you.

I would also be remiss if i did not take a moment to thank another great son of Canada, a mentor to so many of us who had the pleasure of working with him, my former boss at ABC news, the late great Peter Jennings. Peter was a tireless and fearless and obstinate boss. And he taught me so much and the world, and the world of journalism, is lesser for his passing.

As for this award...just looking at the list of prior honorees -- Tina Brown and Sir Harold Evans, Malcolm Gladwell, Robert MacNeill, Morley Safer and Graydon Carter -- that is pretty august company. Though the ones who mean the most to me are the 2012 posthumous tribute to Jennings and the man who did more to make me a journalist than anyone else, the late great David Carr, honored in 2013. I like to think somewhere David and Peter are watching this presentation, frustrated that they can’t break through and criticize me and make sure that i’m not letting anything go to my head. Don’t worry guys, I got the lesson. You taught me well.

And of course as well all know, people like Peter and myself get the attention, but journalism is truly a team effort. From the lowest level intern to the highest executive, I couldn’t do what I do without everyone at CNN. Everyone in this room knows what a team effort journalism is. Three from my team are here -- Jessica Stanton, John Robinson, and Lauren Pratapas -- and without them and without the leadership of my boss Jeff Zucker, as well as John Martin and Jeff Bewkes, none of this would be possible.

In three days I’ll be giving my first commencement address ever, at my alma mater, Dartmouth College in New Hampshire, and Ive been thinking a lot about what then President Eisenhower told students in the 1953 commencement:

He said: “Don't join the book burners. Don't think you are going to conceal faults by concealing evidence that they ever existed. … How will we defeat communism unless we know what it is, and what it teaches, and why does it have such an appeal for men, why are so many people swearing allegiance to it?...And we have got to fight it with something better, not try to conceal the thinking of our own people. They are part of America. And even if they think ideas that are contrary to ours, their right to say them, their right to record them, and their right to have them at places where they are accessible to others is unquestioned, or it isn't America.”

This was Eisenhower talking about communism during the Cold War and the Red Scare -- and he was arguing that the Communists should come out and engage in the battle place of ideas and we should welcome them

That battleplace of ideas is something I think about a lot

Especially when liberals tell me not to put Republicans or Trump supporters on my shows. Using Ike’s words, I ask them, How will you win an election against Trump and Trumpism unless you know what it is, and what it teaches, to paraphrase Ike, and why does it have such an appeal for men, why are so many people swearing allegiance to it?

And for those in journalism who do not understand the appeal of President Trump to 62,979,636 Americans, it is also important to try to understand the phenomenon so many of us failed to see coming. If you strip away the falsehoods and the bigotry and the occasional indecencies -- more on them later -- but if you strip those away there are propositions that are completely legitimate -- fixing a broken system in Washington, making sure the elites and the government do more to protect American jobs and lives and livelihoods. We in the media need to rise to the moment and allow these disrupting debates to happen, and let the best ideas win.

But all that said, I am concerned about the weapons being deployed by the president and forces allegiant to him in this battlefield. I am concerned about the lies and smears, I am concerned about the moments of indecency, and for this audience especially I am referring of course to his calling stories he doesn’t like -- ones that are entirely 100% accurate -- “fake news,” and thus successfully undermining the 4th estate with a large segment of the population.

On January 12, a team of reporters including me, Jim Sciutto, Evan Perez, and Carl Bernstein reported the following: “Classified documents presented last week to President Obama and President-elect Trump included allegations that Russian operatives claim to have compromising personal and financial information about Mr. Trump, multiple US officials with direct knowledge of the briefings tell CNN. The allegations were presented in a two-page synopsis that was appended to a report on Russian interference in the 2016 election.” It went on from there.

There is not one word of this story that is not accurate. And yet this is the story President Trump used to first attack CNN as “fake news.” A term that used to refer to actual fake stories -- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart or more recently the such as the nonsense that there was a Satanic pedophilia ring linked to a pizzeria in Washington, D.C. with ties to the Hillary Clinton campaign. Now it stands for stories the president does not like.

And he does not like a lot of them. And while yes there have been some minor media missteps almost all of the stories he’s called fake news have been proven to be true.

Every politician lies. Hillary Clinton falsely claimed FBI “Director Comey said my answers were truthful.” Barack Obama claimed if you like your doctor you can keep your doctor.

But the sheer number of falsehoods and factual flip-flops coming from this White House is staggering. NATO is obsolete, now it isn’t. Jobless numbers are bogus, now they’re real.

And what’s worse we have a situation now where prevarications are not only supported by the administration and its allies in the media but by an entire dark Army of twitter trolls and meme creators here and abroad who work to undermine the work and reputations of those who either oppose the president and his policies within the party or Congress or those of us in the media who are attempting to provide basic non partisan guidance on what is going on while trying to uphold basic facts and decency.

The great discomfort here for Americans is we want our leaders to be credible. The great discomfort for journalists is that if a president declares war on truth, those who try to stand by truth and defend her are then labeled partisans, or biased.

We are not supposed to be fighters on the battlefield. We are not the opposition to President Trump, we are not the resistance.

We all are trying to figure out the way to cover this new world where fact and decency often seems to mean so little. And I do think that we as journalists need to defend truth and decency.

But I also think that too many journalists sometimes allow themselves to get swept up and we cannot have that, we cannot have a world where we act like the opposition. We in the 4th estate must rise to the occasion of this challenge. And by that I don’t only mean that we work harder than ever to avoid the kinds of mistakes that undermine our profession by avoiding stories that get key facts wrong, but that we also refrain from sharing every emotion the moment we experience it on twitter. And that we consider the low regard many members of the public have for us, and that we work hard to be fair to all points of view -- even the side whose members are attacking us and attempting to undermine us -- the policies they advocate, not the attacks.

And let me say a word about those attempts to undermine. Tom Friedman writes in his new book Thank You For Being Late about the advances of technology compared to the human ability to adapt to these changes. The chart of technology looks like this…..the chart of our ability to adapt to technology looks like this. We are way behind as a society where technology is -- i recently read that the average smartphone is millions of times more powerful than all of NASA’s combined computing in 1969

So what does that mean? It means that when your Uncle shared a website called the Denver Guardian -- and a story headlined “FBI Agent Suspected in Hillary Email Leaks Found Dead” -- and spreads the story using on Facebook -- he has no idea what’s going on. His sophistication is here on the chart. The technology is here.

I have seen US Senators and US Members of the House -- and I know no one would do this in your Parliament -- but members of the U.S. House and Senate have invoked websites I do not consider to be credible -- not just on the right but on the left. Recently after Republican Congressman Jason Chaffetz of Utah announced he would be leaving Congress, Congresswoman Maxine Waters -- a Democrat of California recently lionized by the left -- went on MSNBC and said of him “There are those who think that he in some ways, have some connections to what is going on in the...Ukraine and perhaps in Russia itself, and knows something about all of this. I don’t really know. I can’t say, but he’s strange in the way that he’s conducting himself...Maybe [Chaffetz] thinks that if he rolls out and points to the fact that something is going on with Flynn ... that somehow this will raise [Chaffetz] above maybe what connections he may have with the Kremlin, we need to keep an eye on him.”

This is crazy; it’s madness. And to point out that this is going on on the Left is not to promote a false equivalence with the fact that it is going on at a much greater scale from a much larger platform on the right. 

But lies are lies. Irresponsible fact-free speculation does not become less irresponsible because of a conspiracy peddler’s political affiliation or gender or anything else.

I did not become a journalist to be a fact-checker or a truth-squadder, i became a journalist to hold people in power accountable, to try to tell stories other journalists weren’t telling, and to try to have serious discussions about the way policies impact people’s lives. Probably why a lot of people in this room became journalists.

I did not become a journalist to become a meme or to watch a younger far better looking man portray me on Saturday Night Live, although thanks for that.  But there is a lot of attention on us today as the fourth estate finds itself trying to stand up for basic standards of decency and truth.

And while it is important that we not take the bait and become the opposition that Trump and Bannon would like to cast us as -- thus de-legitimizing ourselves -- it is also important that we not sway the other direction. We cannot pretend that lies don’t need to be called out. We cannot shrug and talk about how a politician’s supporters don’t care about behavior that empirically is offensive. We cannot lower the standards that we as a society hold just for access to big name interviews. We have to be able to look our children in the eyes. We cannot not lower our standards because of attrition and exhaustion or because colleagues are making other decisions, or because Fox, Breitbart and online trolls will lie about us otherwise. 

This is a time for all of us in the 4th estate and indeed all of us in North America s to stand up for what we know is right. Objectivity. Truth. Decency. Facts.

My late grandmother, Helen McDowell Palmatier, born 101 years ago in Winnipeg, was an expert on Sir Winston Churchill, so with your permission I would like to end these remarks by quoting him.

Churchill once said: “A free press is the unsleeping guardian of every other right that free men prize; it is the most dangerous foe of tyranny… Under dictatorship the press is bound to languish…But where free institutions are indigenous to the soil and men have the habit of liberty, the press will continue to be the Fourth Estate, the vigilant guardian of the rights of the ordinary citizen.”

Thank you for this honor.

[atundratoadstool]

Even # for Jack the Sad Mad Scientist. The smad scientist

I posted this meme over three weeks ago, and I have yet to finish all twenty-five of the twenty-five meme questions about Jack that this request asks for. So right now, I’m giving up on my ambitions to set some manner of world record for “longest tumblr post about Jack Seward,” and I’m posting seven of the ones I actually have done.

2. Do they have any daily rituals?: Jack is the sort of person who always has daily rituals, but who is prone nevertheless to periodic shifts in sets of rituals. He’s got a very meticulous routine going 90% of the time, but tends to change things around after any sort of upset in his life.

4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?: I have very little faith that Jack can make anything that isn’t toast even in a non-busy kitchen, and I am not sure I trust him not to burn that toast. I assume that his first impulse upon finding circumstances block him from getting food as normal would be to A) not really notice and B) not eat.

6. Eating habits and sample daily menu: I’m pretty on board with @general-sleepy that Jack is prone to under-eating, doesn’t get a great deal of satisfaction from food, and largely subsists on a diet of tea, coffee, cigarettes, and whatever bland meals his cook makes for him (I suspect they’ve stopped putting much effort into things.). I also decided at some point that he’s one of those people who has one really strange comfort food that they persistently eat, like that guy who shows up at a sandwich shop twice a week to order a hoagie with nothing but mayonnaise and pickles on it. As memes like these are honestly sort of excuses to sharpen one’s thoughts about characters, I actually sat down and did an embarrassing amount of research on this. I’ve decided that he really likes licorice flavored with ammonium chloride (a confection whose origins are ambiguous enough that I’ll pretend it was around in the 1880s), which he first encountered in Amsterdam as one of those things that locals try to feed unsuspecting foreigners. Almost everyone except Van Helsing refuses to regard it as a food, and Van Helsing still regards it as a particularly awful food.

8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging: Jack is a person who quickly becomes ill at ease when he isn’t doing something he can regard as productive and who gets very anxious whenever anyone endeavors to make him relax. This is part of why his major indulgence is learning about and investing in nerdy technology or systems with ostensibly work-related purposes. The most obvious example is the phonograph, but I imagine he’s an early adopter of a ton of other fin de siècle gadgetry.

This tendency is quite possibly one of the traits that made Lucy think he and Mina would hit it off, as Mina too is a total geek who is continually trying to frame her abject geekery as being useful. (In Mina’s case, however, it has more to do with her taking great satisfaction in being helpful rather unlike Seward’s persistent nagging guilt about not helping enough.) It should but noted, however, that both of them will be rather adamant in dragging the whole Drac Attack Pack™ to Paris once cinématographes become a thing.

10. Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?: YES. HE MIGHT HAVE SOME NEUROSES. JUST A FEW.

Aside from the manifest and obvious ones he manifests in the novel, he has a lot of neuroses resulting from his dead parents (because this is Dracula and nobody’s parents are allowed to not be dead). His mother died when he was very young as a result of a fever affecting both him and her, and his father -while not uncaring- was an aloof and somber man who never really got over his wife’s death, having been horribly in love with her. Jack, not being an entirely crap psychologist, is intellectually able to tell himself that his mother’s death is completely not the fault of him being sick as a child, but he’s never been able to fully internalize it. His father suddenly dying and leaving him to take care of an immense lunatic asylum when he was traveling in Korea post medical school didn’t really make him feel any better.

He was also pretty self-conscious throughout school, given that he was studying in Amsterdam, spoke horrible Dutch, and was the various obvious pet student of a professor with a very poor grasp of social cues. Other than that, he’s just a guy who has persistent clinical depression, and despite having a network of supportive friends and eventually learning to cope with his symptoms in the most positive and useful ways that he is able post-novel, he never gets to a point in his life where he’s not in some way prone to periods of melancholia. He’s one of the many many people with depression who gets insecure about being a burden to his friends and loved ones, although the rest of the Drac Attack Pack™ does their best to assure him this is not the case.

12. Favorite book genre? Unlike Jonathan, who is totally into the goofy, cheesy read-on-a-summer-day romances that Stoker mostly wrote, Jack isn’t really keen on prose fiction. I think, however, there’s ample evidence in the novel that he likes poetry, given that he just occasionally recites a few verses to underscore his feelings. He’s the sort of person who really wants to be the type to like Classic verse, but it never really stuck, probably owing to him never having much of a natural aptitude for languages. He likes Tennyson. He likes Early Modern sonnets. He’s read a few pieces by the Decadents and will not admit to liking them.

14. Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.): As a result of the childhood illness, he retains an awkward, muted manner of crying. He also has a virtually unnoticeable uneveness in gait that might turn into a limp someday.