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sly-merlin · 4 years

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killing me - 10 |n.y

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre : angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au , smut

warnings of this chapter : cursing, explanatory mention of a pistol!

words :: 5.3k

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”

“ curiousity got the cat hitched”

taglist :: @kpop-choco @moon-yuta @kawaiiayasan @btm-taeyong @exfolitae @lanadreamie @cheersskznct @hyuckiesgf @theworld-accordingtocasey @yiyi4657 @sorrywonwoo @sillywinnergladiator @suhweo @minejungwoo @leesalts @mal-nakamoto23 @ro2424

@kafenetwork @neowritingsnet

K.M masterlist

k.m9 next

Previous night

“What the fuck were you spitting out there hmm! Have you lost your mind? Why aren’t you answering me you shit!”

jaehyun avoided prying when mark and yuta were arguing but he couldn’t keep it in anymore. mark shifted the gears to park the car in the middle of nowhere, tense silence hugging all of them. jaemin was annoyed with jaehyun’s endless remarks at mark but it was hyuck who was most confused as he was unable to form any kind of judgement.

“why did you stop the car now? Its midnight-

“can you stop drunk talking hyung. I can’t drive like this!”

“I’m very sober. Its you whose brain is dead mark. Did you even notice yuta’s face when you-

“just stop hyung. I’m not ashamed of what I said there. I stand by each and every word! Now can we go back home or do you have anything else?

“you can’t be real! He has done so much for you all these years and this is how you repa-

“yes exactly! He has made so many sacrifices for me all these years, that’s why its my responsibility to show him the right way that he is clearly not following at all and you all are partly responsible for it! You are feeding his selfish ego by showing him hollow sympathy but that’s gonna bite him in the ass at end.”

“woah woah tiger. So what you gonna do? Instruct him how to live his life. Are you making him realise that he doesn’t hate y/n when he clearly cant stand her presence for even a minute and by some miracle, even if you end up pacifying yuta, then what about that cold hearted queen! She’s just here t-

“she is not here on her own! And I am not going to repeat myself, so fix it in your head hyung. She is not here to replace anyone!! Yuta hyung just hates the thought of her coerced and fortuitous presence in his life and I’m not trying to create a miracle here. I just want our lives back to normal and I’ll go to every extent to make it possible!” his chest heaved up and down as the anger subsided a bit, his heart feeling at ease after getting his thoughts out. Jaehyun only scoffed at him.

“you are too naïve markie. This is not how emotions work.”

“this is the only way emotions work hyung!” with that said, he shifted the gear, driving on the road with the same silence lurking again but he felt better. much better.

“who do you think is right?” hyuck whispered in jaemin’s ear, in the hope that he would solve his dilemma.

“I don’t know but I’d love if she stays forever. We are missing one member anyway” he whispered back earning a small tight lip smile from donghyuck who fell into a deep slumber right after that.

Slowly he moved himself to the other side, bruised elbow secured in his hand, grunts exiting him. You knew you were fucked up as soon as his cold eyes fell upon you.

“I guess it’s my time to call taeyong.” He glared, the strong eye contact not lasting for too long as he tried to lift himself up from the floor.

Meanwhile you kept observing him, biting your left thumb, feet glued to the ground. your eyes followed his hobbled travel from the kitchen to the couches from where you heard his long sigh of relief as he placed his leg on the table while stroking his knee. his head fell on the couches and suddenly your conscience kicked in while watching his painful expressions. You found yourself sluggishly walking out of the kitchen with careful steps to avoid the spill, sleepiness fading away.

Yuta’s scraped elbow was in the vision as you neared him. He was still nursing his knee, elbow forgotten by now. Maybe it was the momentary pain! you deliberated about asking him first but then remembered that you don’t have to communicate with him to show that you were still human! So you quietly went to bathroom to find your first aid kit that you placed somewhere the day you settled your stuff. It was not easy to locate it with the lack of cooperation of your hands and mind in the current state, but still you tried your best.

With same motion you went back. Yuta’s hand was still cupping the knee but his features seemed to be much more peaceful than before. But you still approached hesitantly and placed the box on the table, near his foot.

“have a seat please. We have some unfinished business here beautiful!” he sneered, signalling you to sit beside him.

“no thanks. I have work to do.” You tiredly replied, moving away.

“I.Said.Sit.Here! I also wanna experience the thrill of whinning like a baby!

“oh please , I have nothing to fear! Just call him already. I’ve work to do!” you told him in stern voice while circling the table to sit far away from him.

Yuta smirked a little at your show of bravery when anyone could see right through you at the moment. Your eyes were half shut, shoulders slumped down but still upright when it came to fighting him. But yuta clearly knew he had the upper hand this time.

Or he thought!

Your heartbeat sped up with each ring. Very dramatically , yuta had put the phone on speaker to prove his point.

After 5 rings, tayeong picked up and so did your pulse.

“who it is?” a yawn filled voice was heard from the other side.

“are you still sleeping bitch?” yuta inquired with annoyance.

“ye-yes. We cleared the month last night so everyone is sleeping. What el-

“just wake up! I’ve something important to tell!”

“later. I’m bus-

“its about your precious y/n!”

“is she gone?” it sounded like he was suddenly awake!

“tsk tsk. The fuck is your problem? Do you even care about my wellbeing or should I find a new father!” yuta growled at him, his voice pierced through your ears.

“I’ll call her myself!”

“like she would tell you about her plan to lay my 6 feet under the ground!”

Yuta heard a deep sigh from the other side.

“this story better be good coz I don’t wanna lose my sleep ov-

“this is not a story. She spilled water to make me slip and –

“and kill you. what kind of man dies after a little slipping! Huh!”

“have you adopted her or something taeyong! Your attitude is fucking me up. Can you hear me for once or do you-

“what do you wanna say exactly! That you slipped and broke your legs and arms. Make it believable yuta. She might be a bit bitchy but can’t be that evil.”

“so I am a bitch!” your sleepy and cold voice interrupted.

“no no , I meant-

“It was unintentional. i didn’t even know he was home. And it was him who decided to barge in when I was finding food. He was not even invited into the kitchen in the first place!”

“but I got hurt and it was because-

“hurt? you mean as in injured! Oh god. You can’t come back then. take leave for a few days if you are hurt badly and call jun , he’ll be there with medicines and bandages. Consider this an extension of the suspension but you aren’t leaving the hous-

“fuck you taeyong! I hope you die in your sleep!!”

Slamming the phone on the table, he pulled at his roots, lidded eyes boring into you.

“you’ll pay for this.” his finger threateningly pointed towards you.

You let out a yawn before getting up to leave the space to him,

“whatever just don’t finish the spray bottle. Its new”

After that you didn’t hear anything from yuta or anyone.

And it just went like that for 2 more weeks!

“why don’t you shift to the dorms for two months! You can hang out with minjun while he complete his reports.”

“so you want me to lose my sleep and baby your baby?” you snickered, slurping the soup a bit louder this time.

“I’m not a baby!” minjun whined.

“oh you are!” a collective response resounded through the room and your reached out to pet minjun’s hair but he swatted your hand away in annoyance.

“no seriously shortie. You’d be alone for a whole month. Even chelin is going home this time. you can spend some time with junie and he’d treat you to homemade food Is it tempting enough?” jungkook suggested.

“not that I’m any interested in the offer but I can teach you the Japanese you were talking about earlier.” At minjun’s comment, everyone raised their brows, silently questioning your new interest.

“what? You all are so nosy. My new roommate is always dissing me in Japanese and I can’t answer that fucker coz I don’t understand anything he spits out at me.”

“HE?” another group chant resonated.

“why is your roommate a man?” yugyeom added.

“because he was born a man!”

“haha very funny y/n l/n. what’s his name and is he from our university?”

“his name is nakamoto yuta and no, he’s not a student. And before you enquire, he’s home only for like few hours so you don’t need to worry him being a pervert or anything.”

“where is your new residence anyway?” you almost choked at yugyeom’s sudden interruption but it confirmed your suspicion that jungkook hadn’t revealed anything yet.

“instead of me, shouldn’t you love birds be worried about the unbearable separation that’d last for a whole month. How are you gonna cope with it gyeom? Especially when yeong is going to be in Incheon and you in busan, stuck with the sweaty sports team and jungkook, who’d be slapping with you with kisses every now and then, thinking you are min-

A shove of dumpling into your mouth caused you to inhale back all the words that were supposed to leave.

“if you don’t wanna meet, then atleast call him daily after your moon internship and he can also accompany you to busan if you want.”

The colour of the air faded at the mention. Slowly, you swallowed the piece in your mouth , instantly finding a distraction to lighten the mood.

“why are these so delicious?”

Rummaging through the empty boxes, jungkook found the pamphlet and shoved it in your face which you curled into a ball and threw towards minjun, hitting him right in the face.

“yaa jun. keep it safe. We’ll order while watching movies and take keys of this house from your boyfriend,” you ordered, pointing to jungkook, “and his Netflix password and his wallet and if he allows, his car ke-

“shut your mouth love-hater!” jungkook exclaimed while stuffing your mouth with two dumplings. And everyone else just laughed at your troubled state, silently agreeing with jungkook’s statement.

What a good day to be a foodie!

Three days!

Taeil had granted you three days to de-stress yourself before you’d be joining your so called trainer for a self defence training program of two months. You wondered who could it be but it was definitely not the person you wished for! Johnny had been in france since two weeks, right from the day your exams started. He left his phone at home but he did contact you through a payphone to wish luck for exams. Since then, it’d been complete silence from the other end. You didn’t even know whether you really missed his presence or just the thought of being with someone who really showed some care for you.

eat, tv, sleep repeat seemed to be a very reasonable routine! your happiness had elevated when you saw a notification of chois about a job opening. Though you wanted to start from an internship in the main office but a moderate salary job as an assistant researcher of a junior lawyer wasn’t so bad as well!

no. actually it was awful seeing how much over-qualified you were for this job but with all the diminishing digits in your wallet, there was some significant scope for the bargain in your situation. But you still had to wait for 2 weeks for the acceptance of your application that would take you a step closer to your dream. Just two more weeks!

Is he still alive, you thought before leaving the kitchen, ready to finish the homemade meal.

High on a happy chemical , you cooked yourself ramyeon and eggs and completed your fancy dinner with a bottle of coke.

While slipping out of the kitchen , your eyes fell on the clean sink reminding you of the presence that you hadn’t felt since the last week.

“I’ll accompany jeno. We’ll be done in two minutes” yuta proposed with a lopsided grin.

The place was more livelier with yuta’s return. Not that he wasn’t already present, but the day he returned to his usual routine was when everyone got their sunshine back. He acted like nothing has changed but still noone could ignore his overcautiousness. He was engaging too much as if to make up for the lost time and not that anyone objected for they were happy to see the old yuta with old ways. Just something was odd!

While most of them were oblivious, others understood what he was hiding behind that façade. They had noticed how he took late night activities just to avoid being sent home or how he took jaehyun and mark with him to avoid any interaction with you.

But the most irksome was how day by day,he was drifting apart from taeyong.

“do you wanna take him home?” taeil snapped his fingers in front of your eyes as you registered his words. You were looking or shamelessly staring at the face of the man. He was dangerously tall as compared to you but his face was shining brighter than the sun itself. Your head snapped towards him again as taeil went on,

“don’t stare like you are gonna eat him y/n.” jungwoo eyes were dancing in the whole room as he avoided your curious ones. You didn’t mean to be creepy but you were having a hard time believing that the man sitting in front of you was a street fight champ and a former drug lord’s son. He seemed too….human.

“who’s staring?” you feigned innocence, looking at taeil.

“way to go advocate!” he said before continuing , “as I told you, jungwoo is a trained fighter, assassin and has a strong grip on pistols. Seeing what you can carry, a pistol is best for you. and jungwoo is a softie here so he won’t even give you a scratch during the training. But you have to actually listen to him or I’ll assign someone that won’t go easy on you.

“like?”

“like ten or jeno, they both don’t have any control over where they are hitting once they start so either you can cooperate with jungwoo or be ready to break some of your limbs.”

“how subtle taeil. but I can work with him.” you smiled at jungwoo which was returned with a shy one.

“okay then. Take care of each other and if you need anything then I’m not home.” Ad with a wave , he was gone.

“what do you wanna start with?” jungwoo asked in a small voice.

“you are teacher so whatever you say.”

“okay them. we’ll start with grip practice.” He got up, signalling you to follow him.

You ended up in a small part of the basement. It was divided into two sections with a glass used as the separation. Raw grass kind hard padding was attached to the walls on the both sides. On the other side of the wall were pasted two targets looking like giant sized dart boards that you suppose were for the practice.

While you were glancing around, jungwoo came back with a small metal box. He opened it to reveal a matt black pistol that looked even smaller when he held it.

“you can’t start with a semi-auto one just yet so for basics this is good for you. though I’m here but please don’t drop it. it belongs to taeyong hyung and he doesn’t know it’s here so please don’t mention it either.” He pleaded in a soft voice to which you found yourself nodding, copying his motion.

“so , you don’t need to memorise every part of a pistol but remember the few terms so if you ever held a new gun or pistol, someone can instruct you as to the handling of it.” you kept nodded as he went on,

“this is the exposed barrel, slide stop, safety lever , trigger and trigger guard and the most important magazine, if its empty ,your body would become the home of enemy bullets. Try clicking the safety lever!”

You did as he instructed. For about thirty minutes, he taught about pulling the barrel that drained your wrists of all the strength they had. He let you go only when he was sure you won’t forget the basics, atleast not until tomorrow.

You hadn’t felt this exhausted in your life as much as you did in the last week. If Thesis research and jungwoo’s lessons were not enough then minjun’s new found love of photography was surely doing its work on your body. Who knew holding flowers and leaves for aesthetic photos was so much draining! And the time you were alone at home was spent sleeping and that too only if yuta and his gang were not screeching out their lungs, fighting with someone online with no regard for the well-being of others in the house. You knew he was aware of his actions but with zero communication, even you didn’t bother pointing him out.

But when had avoidance created peace!

12:30 p.m

As you flipped the glossy leaves of the photo album, the three humans behind that transparent film seemed to come alive, albeit in your memories. Pausing at every page, you tried to live those moments once again ,just like every year. Though you and that photo album were bound by a thread of sadness, the memories it contained made you feel immense joy that was incomparable for you.

The small album was the only memory that reminded you of the family you had once! and today was the day you’ll go to meet them again.

Busan was not that far away but the location of the graveyard added a whole hour to the already 3 hour long journey. You were supposed to meet your orphan warden at the station directly and like every year she'd be accompanying you to Busan so you could meet them. Even though you were a grown-up now , she didn't had the heart to let you go alone. So it had became a tradition.

After memorizing every picture, you got up to get ready for the long journey. Taeil had excused you for this weekend so there were no worries from his side. you rotated the doorknob to open but it didn’t budge.

You shoved your body against the door but nothing happned! Though you didn't want to rely , there was only one option left!

"yuta!" You shouted in a hope that his lazy ass would respond but silence replied instead.

"yuta! Can you hear me. I'm locked!" You tried again, both shouting and trying the knob, banged the door but none worked in your favour.

Then realisation dawned on you! Why won't he hear anything when he was right outside the room! because he didn't want to!

"yuta I swear I'm gonna kill you! let me out!"

Raking your hands through your hair, you decided to find your phone but it looked like the whole universe was conspiring against you as the phone was not in the room. you had probably left it on the kitchen counter earlier. The only communication you had was with yuta and he was not listening to you , delibrately!

Your fist met the door with all the power you could muster but only the echo was heard which fainted within few seconds.

"fuck you yuta" you mumbled dejectedly before throwing yourself on the mattress. Contempt filled your heart as you watched the fan moving endlessly and your mind grasped the reality that maybe you won't be visiting them. Not if he didn't open the door. But he couldn't lock you for years!

And whenever that door opens , you'll make sure to close it forever.

"eat slugs , haechan!" Yuta exclaimed into the microphone, killing another of haechan's Avatar in the game. He winced as haechan groaned loudly, trying to get some pity out of yuta.

Calling it a day, he teared the headphones away , the sudden silence bringing peace to his ears. Stretching his limbs, he got up but as he trudged for the kitchen, he heard a knock that didn't come from the front door.

He stopped abruptly as if to check if his mind was playing games on him but he heard it again, this time a fainted one.

His stopped in front of your room and slapped his hand against the door , checking his suspicious. Another fast and hard bang came in response and he rotated the knob to open but nothing happened. Forcing his body against the door, a metal dropping sound reached him before the door opened. Without even glancing at you, he leaned and picked up the screws that were stuck in the door hinges. But before he could show you those, you pushed him backward, releasing all the anger at once.

"what the fuck is wrong with you!" Not paying any attention to any of his words, you searched for your phone that you found on the counter and shot your warden an apologetic message. The orphan was near the station so you were sure she won't have waited for more than thirty minutes but you knew she'd have been worried for you.

Quickly working , you called taeyong while running for the main door, a confused yuta following you.

"you are home taeyong?" You asked him while wearing your shoes and exited , ignoring yuta's perplexed questions.

Yuta stood in the doorway, contemplating what the heck he had witnessed!

18:30

Taeyong jerked forward on his chair as you slammed open the door of his office and marched in. When you called earlier , he thought you were going to complain about something that yuta did but the heat of the anger radiating through your body was enough to burn his senses from a distance.

"sit and calm-

"I'm not here to witness your hospitality Lee taeyong. Relieve me of the agreement here and now. my way or your way! I don't wanna live under the same roof wi-

"why are you shouting so much?" Jaehyun interrupted ,entering the room in a swift motion. Following him were few others who might have been awakened by your outburst.

"shut up jaehyun! For once do something with your worthless life" you spit out, eyes boring into jaehyun's.

"can you atleast tell me what has happened!"

To answer taeyong , you moved forward, resting your hands on the head of a chair continued,

"yuta locked me today. My phone was outside in the kitchen. I shouted , pleaded but he didn't open the door for 5 hours. I was supposed to go to Busan but that motherfucker don't ha-

"Busan? Your hometown?" Taeyong disrupted your speech,

"f-for my parents' death anniversary! I was suppose to visit their graves like every year.b-but he chose today of all days to play his little revenge games on me." With broken voice and tears threatening to spill, you managed to proceed,

"i don't wanna live with him anymore. I didn't sign up for this torture. Kill me for all you want but don't try to convince me into staying with that bastard!" Your nails holed into the leather chair, creating small crescents on the surface.

Uncomfortable silence fell over the whole room . As you turned around to leave, you were met with yuta's figure. His hand motioned to reach you but you closed the distance before he could.

"i hope you enjoyed it today!" With venom laced words, you finalised your proposition by flinging the ring straight into his face, his face scrunching at the hit , before walking past him.

"hyun-

Before taeyong could complete, taeil was already was on your heels.

"why do you have to be an asshole yuta?"

" i didn't do anything!" He started as he picked up the ring from the floor, “the door was ja-

“you shouldn’t have stooped so low nakamoto yuta!” tayeong growled with eyes glistening with fire.

“what now?” yuta’s jaw clenched at jaehyun’s nonchalant words. Pocketing his annoyance for him, he opened his mouth to explain himself,

“nothing now ok! I did nothing.i didn’t lock her and certainly didn’t try to forbid from going anywhere. She wa- the door was jammed due to some loose screws. I had to push it so it’d open. I-i-I wasn’t even aware of her plans. Heck, you can ask hyuck. I was playing with him for 6 hours straight. I had headphones in my ears all that time and you know how much hyuck yells. Even if she was stuck, there was not a sound that reached me taeyong. I was as oblivious to all this as much as you all were till now and knowingly, I won’t ever do anything so harsh. You know me very well! don’t you?” he ended with a hopeful question glancing at everyone in the room. With each passing second, his anxiousness elevated at the silent and calculating faces of everyone.

“you don’t believe me, do you?” his broken voice resembled the one they just heard few minutes ago.

“no yuta.i-its not like that . message taeil hyung about all this so he can calm her down.” Taeyong muttered with eyes searching up yuta’s for any malice he might be planning but found nothing. he was innocent.

But yuta panicked at his words, “why? I can explain by myself. It’s not that difficult. I can handle her taeyong.” he turned for the door but taeyong’s words stopped him in his tracks.

“you think so! You should be glad you are alive yuta”

“then release us taeyong. I’m begging you, LET HER GO!” the shout that echoed was enough to send shivers through every living being in the vicinity.

“I will. If taeil hyung say so. Message him yuta and you should know I don’t repeat my words without expense!”

He did as told, head hung low to avoid the pity looks that were thrown his way!

“don’t follow me taeil!”

“I’ll stop if you’ll stop!” taeil politely replied, tracking your steps on the sidewalk. He tried to obstruct your way but ended up following you instead. 15 minutes had passed since you both left the house but your anger was not simmering down and you were stunned at his patience.

“you can’t walk till university.” You deadpanned.

“neither can you.”

Stopping abruptly, you faced him, “you can’t stop me taeil.”

“I won’t. but the bus driver would. Even pretty girls don’t get a free ride home.” You groaned at his unnecessarily true words. He was right, you had nothing on you except for the phone.

He silently observed your slumping body, before walking a step closer to check the waters. When you didn’t push him away, he lightly took your hand in his, tugging you to come along.

“I don’t wanna go with you.” your hushed voice gave him some courage to proceed further,

“we aren’t going home. Lets just sit”

He dragged you to the park you had passed just five minutes ago. Sitting on the bench , he asked you to explain everything that had happened in the last 6 hours. You recited the whole story till the end where you threw the ring at yuta. Taeil only hummed in response when he heard a buzz from his phone.

Reading yuta’s message , he suddenly knew where to start!

“read this y/n.” he said before giving you the phone.

You absorbed each and every word written. It made sense. But did it?

“he’s lying.” You scoffed , returning the phone.

“he’s not.”

“ofcourse you’ll take his side.”

“and why would I do that?”

“he’s your brother”

“and you are my sister”

“no I’m not. I never would be.” You retorted, hiding the effect his words had on you.

“I might not be your brother but you can’t stop me from calling you my sister and I’d prefer you over yuta anyday.”

“but you still think I’m lying and he’s right”

Taeil massaged the back of his neck, clearly getting annoyed by your snapping.

“when did I say you are lying? I just said he’s not lying.”

“isn’t it the same thing?”

“no its clearly not. You just don’t wanna admit that you misunderstood!”

Uncrossing your legs, you faced him, “ because I am not in the wrong here. he is ! he did it so he can have the house all to himself while I’m locked. The truth is he hates my guts. He wont ever pass an opportunity against me!”

“and like you love his guts! Your hatred for him is the reason that you don’t wanna believe he’s innocent. Your heart wants to believe that everything that had unfolded after that night is yuta’s fault. You don’t wanna believe because you just don’t want to! You are rejecting his reason because your mind says its the perfect chance to break taeyong! your anger and emotions are playing games with you and you are letting them! and this is exactly what yuta had been doing from the very first day! He’s no different than you. No matter how much you discard it, the truth won’t change! Impulsive actions lead you nowhere!” His polite yet authoritative voice was providing inputs that you didn’t want to believe. Not yet.

“I just wanted to go to busan taeil. If he hadn’t been home the-

“if he hadn’t been home , then you would not have even made it out! And I’m sure you have heard him playing games. He’s a loudspeaker and believe me haechan is yuta part two. I’m sure he didn’t hear you.”

“but why would anyone even care! I’m the one at loss here.”

“what loss. Just because you missed it today doesn’t mean you can’t go tomorrow and If you want i can take you there. we can go right now! But y/n , loved ones live in your heart!. You don’t need a day to show them your respect and love. They know you and they watch over you. don’t crumble under the weight of customs and rituals. We’ll go tomorrow morning. Be ready by 8 a.m !” his soothing voice managed to calm the storm but you weren’t going to budge from your first condition.

“I don’t wanna go back with him.”

He sighed heavily before pressing his phone to his ear,

“taeyong. replace yuta in france. For two months and I don’t want any further discussion.”

You sniffled, finally letting out the tears that were in the waiting since the morning.

“I can drop you to the dorm for tonight until he packs his stuff and you can go back home tomorrow. Sounds right?” he described his plan , petting your hair.

You weakly nodded, letting him ease your worries with sympathetic words that you didn’t even know you needed!

next morning

Uncomfortable silence welcomed you as you entered the house. You were told that he was gone and it sounded about right with the present atmosphere.

After finding the fruits, you made you way to the room but stopped in your tracks as you spotted something on the counter.

Three moulded screws were placed on a paper along with the ring that you thought would never be seen by you again. you breath quickened as you read the words on the plain paper

I’m sorry!

What were you supposed to do with it now?

**********************

thank you for reading ! feedback is always appreciated \(￣︶￣*\))

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celestialmark · 5 years

Text

Solitude - Part Four

Characters: Mark Lee x reader, members of nct

Category: sniper!mark, mafia au

Word count: 8.3k

Warnings: cursing, mentions of death

Author’s note: surprise surprise! I’ve never written anything so fast in my whole life but I really wanted to give you this before the year ends and as a token of appreciation and gratitude for all the love I and this story has been receiving. hope you have a lovely and safe new year guys! may 2020 be filled with all that you’ve been wishing for! <3 ilysm and I hope you enjoy this chapter! we’re getting so close to the end!

You don’t stop crying even as Johnny speeds the car away from Mark’s loft. You’re not entirely sure what’s happening, all you know is that Jeno was quick to grab you by the arm and shove you into Johnny’s car. You don’t have the heart to ask what’s happening either, the worst of your nightmares coming to life still taking up your thoughts, and the very cause of your waterfall of tears. You’re crying for a lot of things, for yourself, for all the struggles of fighting for your life all these years, for Mark, who you felt was finally your safe haven, and for the both of you, of how twisted and sick the whole situation is, of the possibility of running away forever just to keep your life.

Jeno, who’s taken the passenger seat in front, doesn’t speak to Johnny who’s focusing on getting you to your unknown destination fast and safe. And you don’t realise the gradual shift of the derelict buildings to the view of the coast outside the window. You’re too busy picking at your fingers, occasionally pinching yourself to wake up from this hell of a nightmare, still in a state of refusal to accept the reality that’s unfolding right under your nose. You only come back to your senses when the car comes to an abrupt stop and that’s when you eventually lift your head up and look outside beyond the tears that obscure your vision.

You’re met by the gentle waves of the ocean crashing onto the shore and from where you sit, you can hear the unfamiliar breeze rushing past, a sound you can only hear by the seaside. Johnny and Jeno are first to hop off the car and you watch as Johnny slowly walks towards your door before opening it.

“Y/n?” he calls out carefully, pulling the door open until it reveals your hunched over figure fully. “We’re here. I promised I’d bring you here, didn’t I?”

Johnny’s gaze on you is tender, his sympathies coming in volumes with how gentle he speaks to you and right now, he’s probably the only one you want to trust, the only one who can comfort you best despite knowing he’s probably involved in all of this mess too.

You unbuckle your seatbelt weakly and step out of the car only to collapse into Johnny’s arms that are already outstretched for you. You hug him tight just as your waterworks begin again, your sobs getting lost in his hoodie. And Johnny hugs you even tighter, using one palm to rub your back up and down, something to let you know that it’s okay even when nothing really was.

When Johnny’s hoodie becomes damp and your sobs have died down slightly, he holds you by the shoulders firmly and pulls you back slightly, ducking his head to meet your puffy eyes. “Okay princess, I need you to take a deep breath and tell me what happened.” Johnny’s voice is quiet and laced with concern, a worried frown falling on his features.

You’re fingers stay clutching onto Johnny’s clothes as you try to hold his gaze, “Mark.. Mark was the one who shot me.”

Johnny’s eyes widen but it only takes less than a second for the worry in his eyes to return. “I—“

“Johnny— he, he’s out for my life,” you prod. “He’s like everyone else, he wants me killed.”

“Okay okay,” Johnny intercepts, urging you to calm down when he senses your breaths becoming shallow again. “What’s made you think so?”

“A-at the loft, there’s a room full of guns.. Pictures of him with people who were there at the day of my shooting. And and files of me, tracking all my locations,” your legs are beginning to weaken with every recollection of what you saw earlier. “Johnny you were in those pictures too.”

Johnny presses his lips together and says nothing.

“Tell me,” you brave. “Mark shot me that day didn’t he?”

Johnny doesn’t get to answer, his mouth closing just as fast as it opens, when Jeno comes to his side, tucking his phone away in the pocket of his jeans,

“Johnny, we need to head inside.”

“Mark, what the fuck was that?”

Taeyong’s words come out in pure shrill, eyes dark, his whole body rigid as the four boys stand before him. Taeyong closes his eyes as he inhales a big breath, eyes glaring at Mark again the moment they open.

“Yuta said he isn’t willing to make the deal yet, that you and him had some unfinished business of some sort, what the hell is that?”

Mark straightens himself even more than he already has, head held high and gaze fixated on the wall behind Taeyong. “He asked for more than what was agreed on. I couldn’t let him.”

“Well why the fuck not?” Taeyong demands harshly. “We can lose a little to gain so much more. You out of all people, fucking know that.”

Mark balls his hands into fists, feeling all too suffocated in the mess he’s gotten himself into. He finally meets Taeyong’s eyes, “Yuta will keep you running in circles if you keep giving him what he wants. We’re never going to gain anything if we take the bait.”

“And so you straight up disobey my orders because of what you think is right for the whole group?” Taeyong narrows his eyes at Mark, steering away from behind the table until he’s in front of the younger.

Taeyong closes the distance between him and Mark, jabbing a finger at his chest, jaw clenched so tight, “You better fix this. I want that deal whether you like it or not. I’m still your leader and you do as I say. Got that?”

Mark only nods once.

“Pack up, we’re heading back first thing tomorrow.”

And with that, Taeyong leaves.

Jaemin’s shoulders droop immediately, a sigh escaping his lips just as Donghyuck and Renjun do the same. Their attentions instantly shift to Mark who’s now dropped his head to the ground.

“What was that back there?” Renjun asks curiously.

“Yeah, what were you and Yuta talking about?” Jaemin adds.

Mark wishes he could spill everything to his comrades, maybe having their opinions will help his internal conflict and maybe even get a helpful advice or two but doing that would literally be him signing up for even more trouble. He’s about to come up with a lousy lie when the phone in his pocket vibrates, indicating a call.

Jeno speaks calmly on the other line but Mark can tell he’s panicking slightly, his words coming out too close after each another. Mark doesn’t ask questions as soon as Jeno finishes talking, ending the call in a heartbeat and already scrambling around the room to leave.

“I have to go,” Mark mumbles to himself while the three watch him in confusion.

“What? Go where?”

“I’ll see you guys in Korea okay? I’ll explain to Taeyong later.”

“Mark wait—“

Donghyuck stops trying when Mark is already running for the door.

“Something is definitely wrong.”

“Oh my!” A woman, who appears to be in her early fifties exclaim the moment she sees you and your swollen eyes. “What have you done to this poor lady!” She turns to Johnny, hitting at his chest in the process, scowling at him. “What did I say about making women cry Johnny Seo!”

Johnny’s hands fly up to defend himself, “Mum I didn’t do anything!”

The sight warms your heart and you crack a small smile for the first time in two hours. You figure it’s Johnny’s house you’ve just entered, remembering him mention he resided beside the ocean from before, a simple two storey house located not too far from the shore.

Mrs Seo glowers at her son before returning to you, “I’m so sorry for whatever he’s done. I should have raised him better.” She cranes her neck and sees Jeno behind you, “Jeno, what has your doofus of a friend done this time?”

Jeno chuckles, his eyes disappearing as he does so and spares a teasing glance at Johnny who’s rolling his eyes, “Not too sure Mrs Seo.”

You appreciate it all; the way in which Johnny’s mum is able to lighten up your mood somewhat without having a hunch of your current situation, taking off some weight off your chest. Her eyes are warm and kind, a few wrinkles on the edges of her lids to showcase how gracefully she’s aged over the years, and she has a smile that makes you feel at home.

“Johnny prepare a nice warm bath, this lady needs one while I feed her and Jeno,” Mrs Seo instructs and pushes you gently towards the direction of the kitchen and nodding at Jeno after you.

“Yes ma’am,” Johnny salutes before he’s racing upstairs.

There’s already a bunch of dishes and side dishes set on the table when Mrs Seo urges you to sit on one of the chairs beside Jeno. It’s a complete meal and it reminds you of home, of your parents whom you miss so much, especially today. You pinch yourself under the table, trying to suck it all up because there was no way you were going to burst out crying again, not in front of the woman who’s smiling ever so warmly at you, encouraging you to dig in. You swallow thickly and pick up your utensils to begin your meal just as Jeno does the same but not before thanking Mrs Seo.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so rude, I didn’t even introduce myself,” Mrs Seo recalls. “I’m Hazel Seo, Johnny’s mum. And it’s such a pleasure to be meeting such a beautiful lady.”

You smile at her kind words, her hospitality making you feel a whole lot better. “I’m y/n.” If Johnny’s mum knew who you were, she did a really good job at hiding it because she smiles wider and only nods.

“Eat up! Eat up!” She exhorts. “Gosh Jeno you look so worn, what has Taeyong been keeping you up with lately!”

Taeyong?

Mrs Seo grabs Jeno’s cheeks and squishes them, “Your cheeks look so sunken! Where have they gone?” Jeno chuckles as he munches on his food, the most adorable eyesmile making Mrs Seo ruffle his hair.

You eat quietly, occasionally nodding and replying with short responses to Mrs Seo’s attempts at conversation. Any other given day, you would’ve loved to have gotten to know the woman, but today, your energy was running low at an incredibly fast pace. Johnny is the one who navigates you upstairs to the bathroom where your hot bath is waiting and you silently thank Mrs Seo for having such good instincts, seemingly your silent hero for today.

You’re not quite sure how long you’ve been sitting in the water but that’s the last of your worries. Your thoughts are blank and it’s mirrored in the way you’re staring vacantly into nothing, maybe it’s because you have no inclination of what to think anymore, all the possible scenarios and “what ifs” already been played out in your mind countless of times during your journey here. You curl yourself up into a ball, letting your head rest on your knees, allowing a single tear to roll down your cheek for how empty and numb you feel inside and you make a mental promise it would be the last one you will cry, for today at least.

When the sun sets and night falls, Johnny invites you to a bonfire he’s created outside by the beach, but not before draping a light blanket across your shoulders. You sit beside him on the sand as he pokes at the fire to ensure it lasts for a long while. He doesn’t say anything when you lean your head on his shoulder, a contented and shaky sigh leaving your lips.

You can faintly make out the foam of the waves as it kisses the shore, the breeze that blows continuously enough for the knots in your aching muscles to come undone. From this place, you can see the stars so clearly dotted across the sky beside the moon and you’re reminded of all the reasons why you’ve loved the beach all your life in spite of the lack of memory of ever visiting one.

“I know you have burning questions,” Johnny remarks, retracting his hand to rest on his lap when he finishes managing the flames. “But I’m not the best person to ask, y/n.”

“I know, John.”

You lean away from Johnny momentarily when he wraps an arm across your shoulders and pulls you closer to him. He begins to rub your shoulder with his thumb, doing all he can to comfort you in any way possible, knowing how tough of a day it has been for you.

“Rest for now, okay munchkin?”

“I can’t believe you lost her!” Kun growls, ready to swing at anyone within reach. “Such an easy task and you can’t even do it fucking right!”

Xiaojun, Hendery and Lucas cower their heads lower. Everything had been going great, if it wasn’t for Jeno.

“How many times do you have to fuck things up before you can finally do anything right?” Kun snarls through clenched teeth and stops in front of Lucas who’s avoiding his glare at all costs.

“Apologies, Kun.”

Kun’s rising anger pushes him to shove Xiaojun by the shoulders, causing the younger to stumble backwards. “Sorry doesn’t cut it. What can your pathetic apology do?”

“Y/n was supposed to die by our hands ages ago,” Kun exclaims and proceeds to sit on the edge of the table. “But guess what? You scumbags couldn’t even do that much and now she’s in their hands.”

“Can anyone give me an ideal plan of how we can turn your fuck ups into something great?” Kun asks rhetorically, determined to show how incompetent the boys standing before him, are. “Something actually smart? Anybody?” Kun drags his eyes across the three, waiting for a response he knows he’s not going to get.

The heavens must have heard Hendery’s desperate pleas in his head when Sicheng steps in at that exact moment. “Kun stop it already,” he says calmly, traipsing across the room until he’s beside the elder. “I found something.”

Kun throws his hands up in the air and accentuates the relief on his face, rubbing it particularly, in Xiaojun’s face of his incapabilities. “Nakamoto Yuta, also known as, Japan’s leader is looking into making ties with Taeyong,” Sicheng announces, making the three look up from the ground.

Kun scowls at the three for a moment before focusing in Sicheng again, “And it looks like we’re not the only ones who know Y/n is alive. Yuta seems to have the same knowledge too.”

Kun crosses his arms across his chest, brows meeting in the middle as Sicheng continues to speak. “Rather than killing Y/n for the revenge you’ve always wanted, I think we might benefit from her more if we bring her to Yuta ourselves.”

“Yuta is a billionaire Kun,” Sicheng emphasises. “And I believes he’s willing to pay a high price in exchange for Y/n.”

Kun’s eyes darken at that moment, his thoughts already imagining the glory he’ll receive if he acts upon Sicheng’s suggestion. A smirk takes over his face then, rubbing his palms together, a habit he’s always had when he had a plan in mind.

“Bring me Y/n. Bring her to me, alive.”

When you’ve finally fallen asleep sometime after two in the morning, with Johnny insisting he stays with you until he’s sure you’ve fallen into slumber, he zooms downstairs to the kitchen where Jeno is still typing away at his laptop, his glasses, which he only ever wears when he’s required to do a lot of work in front of his screen, sitting on his nose perfectly.

“Any news?” Johnny asks, taking a seat opposite Jeno, taking a sip of his tea which has already cooled down quite a bit.

Jeno shakes his head without lifting his eyes from his screen. Johnny sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “How the fuck did they know about Y/n? Not even Taeyong knows— wait, he doesn’t know, right?”

Jeno shakes his head again, “He doesn’t.”

“Then how come Kun knows about her being alive?”

Jeno pauses the frantic of his fingers typing and takes off his glasses in the process. He rubs his tired eyes before replying, “Not too sure. But I know Kun has always been tailing our backs for as long as I can remember. Donghyuck says it’s got something to do with wanting to always know what we’re up to so they can act before we can.”

“And? Has that done any good for them?”

“No. Because we’ve always been careful with covering our tracks and we’ve always gotten things done before they even found out,” Jeno pauses and purses his lips, “Up until now.”

Before Johnny can speak, there’s a few bangs on the front door. The two exchange uneasy glances before Johnny rises from his seat to check who it is. Not even two minutes later, he reappears in the kitchen with Mark trailing behind him.

“Jeno said you’re coming back tomorrow,” Johnny says to Mark, taking his seat again.

Mark sits down beside Johnny, taking off his jacket and setting it behind him, “I left as soon as Jeno called me. Well? Where is she?”

“She’s just after falling asleep,” Johnny replies. “She’s pretty shaken Mark.”

“Well what exactly happened?” Mark asks hastily, too eager to learn about all the things he’s missed. Worry was an understatement for him.

Jeno clears his throat and stows his laptop aside along with his glasses. Folding his arms on the table, he begins to explain, “Kun’s boys found out about Y/n and were on the way to take her this morning.”

“What? That doesn’t make any sense— No one knows about Y/n except me and Johnny— wait, how did you know about Y/n?” Amidst all that’s been happening and the current chaos Mark’s head is in, it’s only dawned on him now that Jeno, in fact, has become aware of you being alive, maybe even way before what happened earlier in the day.

“I’ve always had a hunch,” Jeno starts. “Remember that day you shot her? I carried her to you, Mark. And I knew, I just knew you missed her heart by a mere inch.” Jeno takes a deep breath, recollecting everything he can remember, “And weeks, no, months before that day, you were practicing your shooting so much it was so unlikely of you. I’ve never seen you practice that much... Not even for your previous missions.”

Mark blinks.

“You were practicing to miss, weren’t you?” Jeno concludes.

Johnny plays with the ceramic mug in his hand with his thumb, listening intently to Jeno. Mark doesn’t answer and Jeno takes that as a yes, knowing he wouldn’t answer something like that so openly.

“Is that why, you asked Taeyong to stay behind?” Mark asks carefully.

Jeno’s eyes grow wide for a short second before nodding admittedly. “No one knew about Kun finding out Y/n was alive except for me. I couldn’t come to Japan because,”

“Because you had to make sure Y/n was safe by keeping eyes on Kun,” Johnny finishes off when Jeno hesitates. Jeno lowers his head, as if ashamed of what he’s done, even when he’s done nothing but good. Jeno feels the guilt of having abandoned his comrades during such a critical time to protect someone else but he figures, he regrets nothing in the end, even if it meant Taeyong adding double to his work.

Mark falls in silence as his thoughts come up with the worst case scenarios. He believes you would’ve been taken away by now if it wasn’t for Jeno’s sharp instincts.

“And I did more research,” Jeno continues. “The reason why Kun is after Y/n is because he wants to kill her. Years ago, Y/n parent’s apparently borrowed a tonne of money from Kun too when they were starting off their business. And it turns out, they were never compensated even after the business became successful.”

“Kun has always been out for their lives from the start, for revenge, but we were just always one step ahead, killing them before they could,” Jeno adds. “And now that he knows Y/n is actually alive, he’s going to do everything he can to get that revenge.”

Mark rubs his temples, feeling a dull headache starting to develop. “He’s not the only one who knows y/n’s alive.”

Johnny turns to Mark, “What? Who else knows?”

“Nakamoto Yuta.”

“Great, an even more powerful man to join the party,” Johnny says sarcastically as he rolls his eyes. “Though, not surprised. That man can get his hands on any information he wants.”

“What does he want?” Jeno asks.

“He wants Y/n. In exchange for the deal Taeyong wants,” Mark replies with a sigh, the thought not settling well within him at all.

“Bastards,” Johnny hisses under his breath.

There’s silence for a while, the three too lost in their own thoughts.

“Well what do we do?” Johnny asks not too long after.

Jeno is already grabbing at his laptop and putting his glasses on again,

“I’m on it.”

When the sun begins to rise from behind the horizon, you awake to the sound of Johnny’s bedroom door creaking open. What follows is the soft thudding of feet on the carpeted floor, walking past your sleeping figure on the bed to place a glass of water on the bedside table. It’s Jeno and when he turns, he’s almost startled to see you already staring at him.

“Y/n, you’re awake,” he states lowly, just standing there, appearing to contemplate what to do next.

“Morning Jeno,” you croak lowly and the boy genuinely looks stunned when you call his name and acknowledge his presence.

You sit up on the bed, shuffling to lean your back on the headboard. Jeno sits on the edge of the bed and hands you the glass of water he’s brought. Mumbling a quick thanks, you take a big gulp. Jeno takes it again from you when you’re done, wiping your lips dry with the sleeve of Johnny’s sweater.

“Mark is here,” Jeno says with much caution. “He’s ready to talk whenever you are.”

You nod wordlessly, trying to process it all in, the memories of yesterday’s events slowly sinking in again. Jeno becomes silent with you and you remember the first time you’ve come across him and with how he’s saved your life from people are apparently after you yesterday.

“Jeno, can I ask you something?” you wonder out loud.

Jeno nods.

“You were there, weren’t you? The day I was shot?”

He nods again. “Is that how you know who I am, y/n?”

You nod this time.

“How.. how long have you known?” You ask slowly. “How long have you known I was alive?”

“Since that day,” he replies without a thought, indicating the truth. “I’ve known since that day.”

The compassion Jeno possesses can be felt in his quiet and calm nature and in the way he answers your questions truly, knowing you deserve all the truths you sought for. You feel like you can trust Jeno, thinking back to how he saved you yesteday and from drawing conclusions about him as a person through the conversation you’re holding now.

“Why— why haven’t you told the others? That I’m alive? They want me dead, don’t they?”

Jeno bites his lower lip, mulling over your question in the process but decides to come fully clean. “Mark saved you for a reason y/n. I owe him my life and I felt like that was the least I could do for him, even if it meant going against everything I was asked to do.”

Jeno stands from the bed then and offers you a small smile, releasing a breath. “I know I’m in no place to say this to you, but I hope you hear him out. He’s not exactly one to be so impulsive or disobey Taeyong— whatever his reason is, I hope you do hear him out, y/n. Mark... he’s a good guy.”

You believe Jeno. You really do because you’ve experienced what it’s like to be with Mark yourself. And you’re silently praying whatever he has to say will cancel all that’s happened up until now.

Jeno is heading towards the door when you call for him again, making him turn just before he’s reaching for the doorknob. “Can.. you call Mark?”

Jeno smiles, his eyes forming crescent moons, “Of course, y/n.”

You reach for the glass of water again, feeling somewhat nervous during your wait for Mark. You didn’t quite know what to say but you knew you had to talk to him. Just when you place the glass back in its original place, the door creaks open slightly again and Mark peeps his head in. When you see him, you’re immediately reminded of how much you’ve been missing him up until this point. You’ve missed him so much you can physically feel your heart clench.

“Can I come in?” He whispers just as the streams of sunlight run past the window panes.

You nod with a small smile, the relief of seeing him settling in your chest. Above all else, you were still happy to see him again in one piece. You watch him as he reveals himself fully from behind the door, rounding up the edge of the bed until he’s in front of you. You motion for him to sit beside you and when he does, you don’t say anything, letting your eyes take in one good look at him. The days without him have been way too long and you wonder if Mark felt the wait to see each other again to be as excruciating as you found them to be. Mark’s eyes soften when he realises what you’re doing and a sad smile finds his lips, radiating all the way to his eyes that have momentarily lost their sparkle, knowing what was coming next.

“Mark, I want to go for a walk.”

Mark nods and rises from the bed, stretching his hand out to you. You blink at it for a few seconds before looking back up at Mark who nods at you encouragingly. You place your hand in his, realising this is the first time you’ve ever got to hold his hand. And it’s everything you imagined it to be, warm and soft under your fingertips, the size of it much bigger than yours and as he envelopes your hand into his, lacing your fingers together, it gives you a sense of security, the feeling of safety washing over you.

Mark has already draped his leather jacket over you by the time your bare feet come in contact with the sand. Mark hasn’t let go of your hand since and you’re beginning to believe he's missed you as much as he did with the way he's holding your hand so tight in his. The sight in front of you is one to die for; with the sun rising, it’s painting the sky with beautiful hues of oranges, yellows, and pinks, the occasional clouds absorbing the colours to create a magnificent view. The water ahead is glistening with the light the sun provides and the waves are so calm the serenity transcends to your core. More importantly, you’re here with Mark, adding to the tranquility of it all.

“I’m all ears, y/n,” Mark reassures. “Anything.”

You other hand finds comfort around Mark’s arm, pulling yourself as close as you can to his body as you both begin to walk along the beach. You tighten your grip around his hand, trying to gather all the strength you needed for whatever truths Mark was about to uncover for you. Taking a deep breath, and when you’re sure you’re ready, you begin.

“You were the one who shot me, weren’t you?”

Mark nods with his jaw taught and you have to shut your eyes when you feel your heart break inside, clinging onto Mark even harder. “May I know why?” You continue with endurance you have no clue where you’re getting from.

Mark clears his throat and turns to you so that your eyes meet, “What I'm about to say, I want you to listen carefully, okay?”

You see nothing but assurance in his eyes and it makes you nod. Mark tears his eyes off you again, directs his gaze ahead.

“I’m a part of a mafia, y/n, one that Lee Taeyong leads. Specifically, I'm their designated sniper. Years ago, your parents approached Taeyong and asked for a lend of a lot of money, supposedly money to start up a business he had been working on for a really long time. And with much discussion and negotiation, Taeyong lent your parents a very big sum of money in exchange of a promise that Taeyong would be given back a whole lot more than what he initially had given. Your parents’ business boomed and overnight, they became the country’s richest business people. Taeyong saw that and demanded for what he was promised with but your parents turned a blind eye. And that went on for years and years until Taeyong eventually had enough of it.”

Mark pauses and gives your hand a squeeze in preparation for what he’s about to say next.

“Taeyong was furious and he was so set on killing your parents himself but on the night that he set out to do it, they were already dead. Taeyong was the first person to discover their dead bodies in their office and that made him even more angrier because he didn’t get the revenge he wanted. So he turned to have you killed instead. That’s when he asked me to do it, to shoot you on the day of your press conference so that the whole world was there to see you die.”

It’s all so overwhelming, all of this information, to take in all in one go, but you find it in your heart to be thankful to have Mark relay all of these details to you, grateful to have him here to hold your hand and walk you through everything that’s been kept from you.

“Then why...” You breathe out, your eyes glistening with impending tears. “Why did you save me?”

That’s when Mark stops in his tracks in front of you. He lowers his head to meet your eyes, a frown adorning his forehead with his lips pressed together in a thin line. You search his face, your heart picking up its pace with the slight hunch of him revealing something even bigger than he already has, the real reason why everyone’s been up to their eyes lately, especially Johnny and Jeno. Mark takes your other free hand in his and he’s rubbing the back of your hands with his thumb in a soothing manner.

“I hate that I have to say it to you like this, in the middle of all that’s happening but, I promised you the truth, y/n.”

Mark lets go of your hands and you think he's crazy when he steps away from you so that he can take off his shirt in this breezy morning. Your eyes inadvertently fall on his toned body, his subtle abs and the perfectly sized muscles on his upper arms for his build. Mark catches your eyes, an unsure smile grazing his lips before he’s turning his back to you.

And that’s when you see it.

On the nape of his neck, his mark sits, an all too familiar mark of a dove with a stalk of leaves tucked in its mouth. You know that mark so well because you have one just like it, on the exact same spot on your body.

Mark is your soulmate.

“Mark, you’re my..”

“Soulmate,” he finishes as he turns around. “And you’re mine.”

Mark rubs the back of his neck in a bashful manner, his shirt still clutched in his hand, “And you probably hate me because your soulmate tried to kill you, huh.”

“How long have you known?” you ask, your mouth hanging open slightly.

“Good question,” Mark points out and shifts his weight from one foot to another. “Coincidence. Taeyong was making me do research on you so we could stage the perfect kill... and uhh, I was researching photos of you on the internet, and I came across this one particular picture that caught your mark by chance and that’s when I knew.” Mark’s eyes widen when he finishes explaining, “Wow I sound like a stalker— well, technically, I am, I guess?”

Mark rambles on to himself but you don’t quite hear him when you realise he really is your soulmate; the very person you found yourself wishing would be your soulmate somehow turns out to be exactly just that. Your mind travels back to the days in the loft, all consisting of you and Mark doing and talking about every insignificant thing there possibly is and the relief you felt this morning seeing him. It all made sense. You fall in a debate with yourself then, watching a crooked smile form on his face, whether to celebrate that the person you’ve harboured feelings for, for the first time in your whole life ever is in fact the person you’re fated to be with, or to set that aside to find more answers to the questions eating at you at the back of your mind.

“Y/n- you have to understand that hurting you was so difficult to do,” Mark starts, taking a step closer to you. “I never wanted to do it and there were so many times I wanted to bail. But Taeyong gets what he wants and I, no, we, all of us practically owe him our lives, me and the boys. So I had to compromise. and that was the best thing I came up with.”

“But God, if I was given any other choice, I'd never put your life on the line like that,” Mark finishes with an exasperated sigh, desperation threaded in his words.

This boy is definitely your soulmate.

“Put your shirt back on, it’s cold,” you blurt out after a few seconds.

Mark does a double take at the shirt he’s clutching in his palm and does what he’s told, noticing the goosebumps that has risen on his skin as a result of the breezes. You continue to stare at him and that only makes him even more scared and worried.

“Y/n, please say something, anything.”

You open your mouth to do what he says but shut it again when you realise you have nothing.

“I, I don’t quite know what to say.”

“Wait— so you mean Taeyong wasn’t the one who killed y/n’s parents?” Johnny reiterates when the four of you are gathered in the dining room sometime in the evening.

Mark shakes his head, as he fills in Johnny and Jeno with what Taeyong had told him years back in the midst of asking him to kill y/n. “No, but everyone thinks he did.”

“Kun definitely thinks so,” Jeno mumbles.

“Who’s Kun?” you pipe up, the desire to learn as much as you can about their world growing bigger than ever.

“Kun was the one running after you yesterday, y/n,” Johnny explains from beside Jeno.

“He’s seeking for revenge just like Taeyong is, for the same reasons,” Jeno adds. “Mark mentioned a little about the death threats you were receiving from before?”

You glance beside you where Mark sits and he nods at you reassuringly, giving your hand a squeeze from under the table, “Yeah. I got one like every day.”

“They were from Kun,” Jeno announces. “He was out for your family just as much as Taeyong was.”

“And you know this because?” you trail off trying your best not to offend the person you’re just in the process of getting to know.

“Research,” Jeno states simply, turning his laptop around so that you could see his screen filled with random codes and information you couldn’t quite decipher with your minimal knowledge.

“Jeno does all the tech stuff, and finds out any information we ask him of,” Mark whispers, leaning towards you.

Not only was Jeno kind, he was crazy intelligent too.

You nod knowingly, staring at Jeno. He definitely looked like the intelligent one.

“Then, who killed my parents?” You ask wearily as the three exchange unsure glances.

“Jeno, is there a way we could find that out?” Mark asks, leaning on the table.

Jeno nods firmly. “I need time.”

Mark catches your unsure gaze and he silences your doubts with another nod of his head and a small smile.

Mrs Seo walks in the kitchen then and frowns at everyone, “Why is it so quiet! You boys are usually so rowdy and noisy. Did you fight?”

Mark chuckles while Johnny rolls his eyes; Mrs Seo always had a knack for getting into their business, “Just talking about stuff, mum.”

“And yet there’s not a single plate of food on the table.” Mrs Seo looks unamused, her distaste mostly directed towards Johnny who only shrugs, “You’re a such a bad host Johnny, I really thought I taught you better.” Johnny sighs. “Get up and help me prepare dinner.”

Mrs Seo doesn’t leave before giving Mark a hug from behind, “So glad to see you Mark. I hope you come and visit more often.” She turns to you then, “And you as well, y/n, it’s so rare for another girl to be in this household, it’s a breath of fresh air— not that I hate having the boys over, it’s great.” And with that, she whisks Johnny away.

You can’t help but smile, feeling all too warm with Mrs Seo hospitality in spite of the short amount of time of having known each other. “You guys seem to be really close to her.”

Mark nods with a grin, cheekbones showing. “She’s practically everyone’s mum. We came to visit almost every weekend back when Johnny was still—”

Mark stops himself before he can say anymore just when Jeno looks up from his screen and also because of the banging that’s echoing through the hallways and into the dining room where they sat.

“Are you expecting someone, mum?” The three hear Johnny ask from the kitchen which is followed by a quick “no.”

Jeno leaves his seat and goes to check the door while Mark holds his breath, fearing it might someone who’s coming after you. He scoots closer to you and tries not to let his worry show so as not to concern you either knowing you already had enough to think about.

Johnny and Mrs Seo come back to the dining room just in time the unwanted visitor barges in through the door and pushes past Jeno who can only follow after him helplessly. There stands Taeyong, eyes directly shooting at y/n. Mark rises from his seat.

“Taeyong!” Mrs Seo exclaims, happiness genuinely obvious on her face to see one of the boys she hasn’t seen since forever.

“So it is true!” Taeyong spits with a sour grimace on his face. “Y/n is alive— Mark how could you!” He tries to advance toward Mark who by now is standing beside Johnny as he shields you behind him.

Jeno’s reflexes kick in and stops Taeyong by encircling his arms around the elder. “Mark what the hell! She’s supposed to be dead! I trusted you to kill her!”

You’re hunching over behind Mark when Taeyong unleashes his anger, his words sending daggers to your whole being. “We’ve lost so much because of her family! She has to pay the fucking price!” Taeyong continues his attempts at advancing towards Mark but Jeno is doing a good job of stopping him, digging his heels into the floor.

“This girl is the reason why we’re going to lose that deal with Yuta isn’t she?” Taeyong snarls. “Isn’t she? Answer me!” Taeyong’s yells are beginning to distress Mrs Seo and seeing him in a light she’s never witnessed before, surprises her greatly.

“Hand her over to Yuta, simple as! Isn’t that all he asks?” Taeyong yells for the last time and when Jeno’s arms tire, Taeyong escapes and is coming for Mark at an alarming rate and ready to throw a punch or even more if it wasn’t for Johnny.

Johnny uses all his strength to push Taeyong back. Taeyong stumbles backwards, almost falling to the floor in the process, “Taeyong enough!” You flinch at the volume Johnny’s speaking in.

“No!” Taeyong fights. “Mark disobeyed me! Y/n is supposed to be dead right now.”

“Stop it,” Johnny warns again, his voice a lot more lower but a lot more threatening, “Right. Now.”

“And I fucking said no— I’m going to kill her myself—”

“Fuck, was killing Ari not enough for you?!”

The room falls silent in an instant. You ears perk up at the name and when you peek from behind Mark’s shoulder, Johnny is frustrated, his chest heaving and his eyes glowering, a huge contrast to his usual self.

“This is not about Ari,” Taeyong replies lowly through clenched teeth and dismay taking over his features.

“Of course it is!” Johnny exclaims, walking towards Taeyong and hastily jabbing a palm on his shoulder. Taeyong avoids Johnny’s eyes as he speaks, “Taking one innocent life was enough.”

“You know that was an accident,” Taeyong says lowly.

“Accident or not, it still happened and why?” Johnny stops, resting both his hands on his hips, trying to calm himself down, “Because of your fucking greed, that’s why.”

At that moment, it all dawns on you.

Ari.. Johnny’s soulmate was killed by Taeyong.

“If you hadn't been so greedy for money and for revenge, you wouldn’t have shot her so carelessly a year ago.” You feel the pain in Johnny’s voice and it breaks you in two. How could someone so outgoing and happy as Johnny hold so much inside without saying anything?

“If this is still about her being your soulmate—”

“This is way more than just her being my soulmate! For fuck sake Taeyong, you took away an innocent life! A clueless, innocent life who was just getting her life started! And you’re out here living the same old life, ready to do the exact same thing you did.”

Taeyong suddenly claps his hands out of nowhere, a sarcastic smile etching on his face, “Oh so there it is! There it fucking is. You want me to go to jail! That’s it, isn't it? You speak it like you haven’t committed a single crime your whole life, Seo.”

“Of course I want you in jail! You killed the love of my life for goodness sake. But hell, if you’re going to jail, we might all as well put ourselves in jail right?” Johnny’s chest never ceases on heaving, mirroring the anger and disgust he’s been suppressing for a whole year, for a year too long. Taeyong doesn’t stop either, his glare only intensifying with each passing second.

“All I’m saying is, I’m not letting you kill y/n,” Johnny states with so much conviction despite his voice coming down a notch quieter. “You’re going to have to kill me first before you do that,”

“I’m not letting your greed win, ever again.”

Deciding it was best for you not to stay in Johnny’s house any longer, for fear of Kun’s guys discovering your whereabouts and with the uncertainties of Taeyong’s next move, you find yourself in front of a familiar house, one you’ve spent making a lot of your childhood memories in. Mark is standing right beside you while Johnny and Jeno wait in the car, parked just outside the gate.

Mark looks uneasy as you press the doorbell, the faint ringing inside the house it causes reaching your ears. You twist your body a little to give Mark a small smile, “You always tell me to trust you. I want you to trust me this time.”

“I always trust you,” Mark mumbles.

You roll your eyes, “You don’t seem it right now.”

“I—”

The door swings open at that moment and the person behind it blinks hard once and then opens his eyes wider than you have ever seen.

“What the hell— Am I dreaming? Or am I seeing a ghost?”

Mark leans towards you and whispers, “You sure about this?”

You jab at his side with your elbow and clear your throat, putting on the biggest smile at the sight of your best friend for as long as you can remember. “Taeil!”

Taeil blinks hard, again, “Shit— she speaks too.”

“Taeil, stop it,” you say, unamused. “It’s me y/n, and yes, I’m alive.”

“Holy— what, how?”

“Can I come in first?”

It takes you two hours to tell Taeil everything without missing any information, and another hour of convincing him how everything’s come down to the current situation. Mark sped off with Johnny and Jeno the moment he made sure you’re safe inside Taeil’s home. You try so hard not to smack Taeil in the face when he stares at you for too long, his big eyes ogling at you, still convinced you’re not real.

“Taeil I'm alive, stop staring at me like you want to eat me.”

“Sorry,” he’s quick to say. “It’s just, the news blew up with your assassination you, know? You were the headlines for a whole week y/n, of course it’s no brainer that I'm still stunned to see you. Like shit, I was grieving over the loss of my best friend who’s actually alive?”

You feel sorry for him then, the grief that flashes in his eyes reminding you how much of a tough few weeks it has been for him too. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean for it to turn out like this. Like I though I was going to die. For real.”

“If it wasn’t for your knight in shining armour, AKA your soulmate,” Taeil teases with a wink, nudging you as he wiggles his eyebrows.

“Who also happens to be the one who attempted to kill me, let’s not forget that,” you reply as a matter of fact.

“But did you die though?” Taeil shrugs and leans back on the couch, “Dunno, he seemed like a pretty nice guy to me.”

“Who also happens to be a sniper, Taeil,” you remind him. You hit his arm with the back of your hand, “Who’s side are you on anyways?”

“A sniper who purposely missed his shot, right?” Taeil reiterates before shrugging again. “No one’s side. I’m just saying how your soulmate is literally there, in the flesh. Not a lot of people get that, you know?”

You give him an incredulous look, “So, you’re on Mark’s side.”

“Look, the guy is already doing all he can to protect you isn’t he? And he’s going against his leader while doing it,” Taeil responds with a hand motions to emphasise his points. “Do you know how serious it is to go against your mafia leader?”

You shake your head, challenging him, “I don’t. Do you?”

Taeil shakes his head, “I don’t either. but I’m guessing it’s pretty serious if he went apeshit crazy in front of you all.”

You let your head fall back on the couch, shutting your eyes as you groan, “Taeil you’re literally no help.”

“What’s gotten you in a twist anyway?” Taeil asks as he turns his body to face you, leaning his head on his hand that’s resting on the headrest of the couch. “You don’t like him?”

You open your eyes and stare at the white ceiling, “I do. So much it’s ridiculous.”

“Well then?”

“Just.. With everything that’s been happening, I'm not quite sure how to feel just yet. Him being my soulmate just doesn’t change the fact that he’s under someone who wants me killed, you know? And you know me, I’ve been fighting for my life since forever. He almost killed me, Tae. And I just can’t get that out of my head,” you finish off with a heavy sigh, your internal conflict becoming too suffocating.

It takes Taeil a few seconds to come up with something to say and you’re preparing for it because the thing with Taeil was that he was the logical one between the two of you, always giving you a blow whenever you voiced your concerns to push you in the right direction and today was definitely no different.

“Why are you so focused on what he’s done in the past?” He asks. “Shouldn’t you be focusing on everything he’s doing now to make things right?”

Taeil’s words for sure ring in your head for the rest of the night, the very reason you can’t seem to fall asleep. You dwell on it over and over again, coming up with lousy reasons to in attempts of countering what he said, but it appears that with every attempt, you find more points that back up Taeil’s advice. Maybe Taeil is right. Maybe you’re focusing too much on what happened before. After all, Mark was doing all that he can to protect you now, even going as far as looking for the real people behind your parents’ death.

But you don’t expect those words to be the last you’d ever hear from Taeil because he wakes up the next morning with a loud thud from downstairs. There’s a sick feeling pitting at the bottom of his stomach when he leaves his bed in a hurry and it’s only a testament for what the sight that greets him next. Taeil wakes up to furniture strewn all over his house, reams of papers scattered around the floor, broken glass shattered everywhere in all directions and his first instinct is to check your room.

Taeil is fast to dial Mark’s number.

“She’s gone.”

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ironiccrus · 5 years

Text

blaze of glory || solo

Summary: After MJ finally gets sick of fielding phone calls from Tony’s persistent cardiologist, he surrenders and attends an appointment with one of the man’s colleagues on the basis of gaining a second opinion. What Tony hears when he gets there, however, will change his life forever. Trigger warnings: death mentions, hospitals, cancer

One thing was for damn sure -- Tony Stark really hated hospitals. The (quite frankly uncreative) colour scheme, the weird, unexplainable smells that wafted their way down the corridors, how everyone you spoke to that wasn’t in scrubs furrowed their eyebrows at you, trying to work out what brought you to that place, what made you worthy of sympathy. Meeting the good Dr. Sidhu was no exception to this, though Tony knew there was only so many times he would call before MJ absolutely lost her mind and demanded that Tony attend the outpatient appointment before she took away his Friday night pizza privileges. In all fairness, she had lasted longer than he expected her to. Thirty-six missed calls was impressive, especially considering Tony had only ignored twelve of them personally. Either way, when he finally did pick up, and only at the behest of his long suffering assistant, Tony was surprised to find that Dr. Sidhu was fielding him off to one of his colleagues at Metro General. Surprised, but not particularly shocked. Tony didn’t do well with doctors -- Yinsen was the only exception, and he ended up bleeding out in a cave in Afghanistan. Happy endings weren’t all that common, contrary to popular belief.

Dr. Sara Whisler had a good name according to Sidhu, but of course that was a prerequisite for a fancy office on the administration end of the hospital (still the same smell though. Yeesh. Tony put figuring out a solution for that on his extensive to-do list. He was sure the nurses would appreciate it). She stepped out of her office just on time, a tight smile on her face, and held her hand out for a shake. Tony accepted it, giving her a grin. “You have no idea how lucky you are that I showed up,” he informed her. “Usually it takes my girlfriend dragging me here kicking and screaming. Consider yourself something special.”

“I already do, Mr. Stark,” she replied, and oh, Tony liked her. Just the right amount of dry wit and overconfidence, and the type of person that would argue it was competence instead. “Please, come in. Take a seat.”

Tony obliged, and Dr. Whisler closed the door behind them. “Did Dr. Sidhu tell you much about why he referred you to me, Mr. Stark?”

“Tony. Mr. Stark is my father, or the businessman. I eagerly avoid being either.”

Her smile only grew tighter. “Of course, Tony.”

“He only said it was for a second opinion. I can guess, though. I’m not the easiest patient to work with.” His knuckles rapped against the arc reactor, a wry smirk on his face. Dr. Whisler’s didn’t reach her eyes, though, and it faded off her face as she moved a file across her desk towards her.

“I am not a cardiologist, Tony. I am a surgeon. Dr. Sidhu has plenty of opinions of his own, in his field.” She took a breath, but didn’t open the file. Tony narrowed his eyes, looking at her for a long moment.

“This isn’t about the arc, is it?” Tony asked. Whisler pursed her lips, shaking her head. “So what is it about? The migraines? Look, I’m a busy-”

“I know you are, Mr. Stark.”

“Tony. All I need is some stronger painkillers, and I can be out of your hair. I get knocked around a lot, I know I can’t expect to be pain free.”

Dr. Whisler’s lips tightened. “Dr. Sidhu ran a variety of scans during your last appointment.”

“Yeah, he was taking advantage of the honour,” Tony deadpanned.

“Tony,” Whisler said, linking her fingers together on the desk. “There was an abnormal area on your MRI.”

“Decreased blood flow because of the arc,” he replied. “Sidhu knows that.”

“No. No, Tony, I’m afraid it was something else.”

It all started to come together in that moment. The closed door, the file in front of her, the endless phone calls, the tight smile on greeting. Tony could feel the reactor whirring in his chest, turning over a thousand and one times, and then back on itself again. “What is it?” he asked, all in one breath, keeping his eyes firmly on the doctor.

“We will need to run a biopsy, but diagnostic criteria has been met to inform-”

“Busy man, remember?”

“You have developed a primary brain tumour, Tony.”

Tony blinked a few times, shifted in his seat. “Okay,” he said. “Get Dr. Cho on the phone, get her to hack it out, we can be done with it.”

“I’m afraid it’s not that simple.” Now, she opened the file. Tony looked around the room, but it was all just the same white. “It is a glioblastoma multiforme, suspected grade 4. I presume that it has been present for quite some time and has been asymptomatic until recently. Operating would be extremely dangerous.”

“You realise I’m a superhero, right? Dangerous is my trade.”

Dr. Whisler’s tight smile broke, and she looked at him with hard eyes. “It would kill you, Mr. Stark. I am not prepared to put you through a surgery you would not come out of.”

Brain tumour. Inoperable. Been there for some time. Tony wasn’t an idiot, far from it. He knew how it sounded, but he also knew he had faced worse odds before. The reactor might have been having a fit in his chest, but he felt surprisingly calm.

“There are options, of course, to slow the growth. Radiotherapy, followed by several courses of chemotherapy. We would typically use fractionated radiotherapy, but given your unique situation,” her gaze went to the arc, glowing under Tony’s shirt, “I think we are better using focused beams which are-”

“Less effective,” Tony supplemented. “Yeah, I know. Physicist.”

Dr. Whisler fell silent. Tony didn’t even realise she did, not for a long time. When she spoke again, at least five minutes later, the noise felt like an intrusion.

“What questions do you have, Tony?”

There was only one question Tony could think of that mattered, only one question that he knew the people he cared about would ask him when they heard. “Prognosis,” he muttered, barely loud enough to hear himself, but the good doctor would have been expecting it. At least, that’s what he assumed, because she pursed her lips, tapped her fingers against the desk.

“GBM is very difficult to treat, even in a supposedly ‘standard’ patient. Typically, it is twelve to eighteen months from diagnosis. In your case … I'm sorry to say that a year would be optimistic.”

And that -- that was what hit him like a tonne of bricks. Dr. Whisler started to speak again, started to tell him about the progression of symptoms from nausea, vomiting, headaches, potential seizures, discussed support groups and helplines for him to phone on the weekends, potential chemotherapy drugs and clinical trials that could prove helpful but had their risks in a patient like him, but it felt as if her words were washing over him, pulling him under, leaving him gasping for breath at every moment.

Eventually, Tony pushed himself up from the chair. Dr. Whisler stopped talking abruptly, standing up when he did. “Tony,” she said, but she didn’t get any further.

“Look, I appreciate what you’re doing here,” Tony said, gesturing with his hand to her office, to the file on her desk, to the awards on her shelf. “You seem like a great doctor, but me and medicine, we don’t really get along. You go poking around in here,” he tapped the side of his head with his finger, “you mess up what I have going on, and I need this brain, yeah? Tumour or no tumour.”

“Tony, I don’t think you’re grasping the-”

“No,” Tony said, holding up his hand. “Let’s not do that.” He turned to the door, stopping only to meet the doctor’s eye one more time. “I’ll come back next week. My assistant will set it up, promise. She’s very good at getting me to do things I don’t want to do. I just … I have a lot to do today, Doc.”

Surprisingly, a small smile came onto Dr. Whisler’s face. “You are Tony Stark,” she replied. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Tony nodded, opening the door to her office, feeling the spark off the metal handle in the arc reactor.

“I’ll see you next week,” Dr. Whisler said. “Do me a favour, Tony.”

Tony turned to her, raising an eyebrow, feeling like if he didn’t get out of this office in less than two minutes, he was going to lose his goddamn mind.

“Don’t drink yourself to death before the tumour gets a chance.”

Tony let out a dry laugh at that, shaking his head. “You’re a real piece of work, Doc,” he said. “See you next week.”

He managed to get to the lobby, passing by seas of blank faces, masses of jumbled conversations. He managed to get back into the car, put the key in the right way the first time round, even get himself back to the lower parking levels of the Tower without crashing into a tree, or flipping off another driver, or wanting to hit his head against the steering wheel. It was only when Tony walked into his workshop, dropped his keys on the workbench and looked around at the unfinished projects on the walls around him that he felt himself fall to the ground, his knees bloody against the polished concrete.

“It’s alright, boss,” FRIDAY’s voice came through the loudspeakers. Dum-E rolled forward, pressing his claw into Tony’s shoulder, clicking as he moved. “We’ll get through this.”

Tony huffed a humourless laugh. He was about to argue that he wasn’t aware of implanting a bullshit code in FRIDAY’s initial design, but the words weren’t forming. He doubted they would again.

“I will inform Ms. Potts and Ms. Watson that you are preoccupied with your latest project and wish not to be disturbed.”

Good call, FRIDAY. Good call.

#solo #death mention tw #hospital tw #cancer tw #just a lot of pain tw

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avengerofiron · 4 years

Text

blaze of glory || self para

summary: after mj finally gets sick of fielding phone calls from tony’s persistent cardiologist, he surrenders and attends an appointment with one of the man’s colleagues on the basis of gaining a second opinion. what tony hears when he gets there, however, will change his life forever. when: early 2019 trigger warnings: death mentions, hospitals, cancer

One thing was for damn sure – Tony Stark really hated hospitals. The (quite frankly uncreative) colour scheme, the weird, unexplainable smells that wafted their way down the corridors, how everyone you spoke to that wasn’t in scrubs furrowed their eyebrows at you, trying to work out what brought you to that place, what made you worthy of sympathy. Meeting the good Dr. Sidhu was no exception to this, though Tony knew there was only so many times he would call before MJ absolutely lost her mind and demanded that Tony attend the outpatient appointment before she took away his Friday night pizza privileges. In all fairness, she had lasted longer than he expected her to. Thirty-six missed calls was impressive, especially considering Tony had only ignored twelve of them personally. Either way, when he finally did pick up, and only at the behest of his long suffering assistant, Tony was surprised to find that Dr. Sidhu was fielding him off to one of his colleagues at Metro General. Surprised, but not particularly shocked. Tony didn’t do well with doctors – Yinsen was the only exception, and he ended up bleeding out in a cave in Afghanistan. Happy endings weren’t all that common, contrary to popular belief.

Tony obliged, and Dr. Whisler closed the door behind them. “Did Dr. Sidhu tell you much about why he referred you to me, Mr. Stark?”

“Tony. Mr. Stark is my father, or the businessman. I eagerly avoid being either.”

Her smile only grew tighter. “Of course, Tony.”

“This isn’t about the arc, is it?” Tony asked. Whisler pursed her lips, shaking her head. “So what is it about? The migraines? Look, I’m a busy-”

“I know you are, Mr. Stark.”

“Tony. All I need is some stronger painkillers, and I can be out of your hair. I get knocked around a lot, I know I can’t expect to be pain free.”

Dr. Whisler’s lips tightened. “Dr. Sidhu ran a variety of scans during your last appointment.”

“Yeah, he was taking advantage of the honour,” Tony deadpanned.

“Tony,” Whisler said, linking her fingers together on the desk. “There was an abnormal area on your MRI.”

“Decreased blood flow because of the arc,” he replied. “Sidhu knows that.”

“No. No, Tony, I’m afraid it was something else.”

“We will need to run a biopsy, but diagnostic criteria has been met to inform-”

“Busy man, remember?”

“You have developed a primary brain tumour, Tony.”

Tony blinked a few times, shifted in his seat. “Okay,” he said. “Get Dr. Cho on the phone, get her to hack it out, we can be done with it.”

“You realise I’m a superhero, right? Dangerous is my trade.”

Dr. Whisler’s tight smile broke, and she looked at him with hard eyes. “It would kill you, Mr. Stark. I am not prepared to put you through a surgery you would not come out of.”

“Less effective,” Tony supplemented. “Yeah, I know. Physicist.”

Dr. Whisler fell silent. Tony didn’t even realise she did, not for a long time. When she spoke again, at least five minutes later, the noise felt like an intrusion.

“What questions do you have, Tony?”

“GBM is very difficult to treat, even in a supposedly ‘standard’ patient. Typically, it is twelve to eighteen months from diagnosis. In your case … I’m sorry to say that a year would be optimistic.”

And that – that was what hit him like a tonne of bricks. Dr. Whisler started to speak again, started to tell him about the progression of symptoms from nausea, vomiting, headaches, potential seizures, discussed support groups and helplines for him to phone on the weekends, potential chemotherapy drugs and clinical trials that could prove helpful but had their risks in a patient like him, but it felt as if her words were washing over him, pulling him under, leaving him gasping for breath at every moment.