#i really get why killua felt so helpless there.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Feel like making people miserable today. Anyways, here's Gon experiencing like. Textbook symptoms of trauma in the CAA, in case there was any lingering doubt about this or anything:

Initial denial that the experience happened or was traumatic

[ID: A screenshot from episode 85 of HxH 2011. Gon, eyes bright and with a smile, says "Kite is alive!" End ID.]

Flashbacks

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 95, and a third from episode 110. In the first, Kite's arm is shown in the foreground, bleeding and blurred. In the second, a close of Pitou's wide eyes, looking animalistic. In the last, puppet Kite's mangled and scarred face stares emptily ahead - the scene is greyed out. End ID.]

Intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 116. In the first, Gon's fist can be seen in the foreground, with Pitou shielding an unconscious Komugi just barely seen. The narrator says "The girl lying before them brought back". In the second, Komugi has a medical respirator on. The narrator continues "images of a broken Kite to Gon's mind". End ID.]

Physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Gon's fists slam into the ground as he says "That isn't fair...". Sweat drips down his arms. End ID.]

Extreme alertness/hypervigilance

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Part of Pitou can be seen in the foreground as Gon stares at them intensely, crouched on the ground with his arm resting on his knee, obscuring his lower face. End ID.]

Angry outbursts or other extreme behaviour

[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 116, and the other from episode 127. In the first, Gon shouts "Is something wrong with you?!" as his face contorts with rage. His aura floats black around him. In the second, Gon, his face shadowed eerily with thin lines, says "The next time you try to delay me, I'll kill her." End ID.]

Feeling like you have to keep busy

[ID: A screenshot from episode 94. A close up of Gon's face from the side as he says "I want to focus on my training." End ID.]

Doing things that are reckless and self-destructive

[ID: Three screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other two from episode 131. The first is stylized as a black outline of Gon's figure over a background like parchment or a projector - he's been hit in the face and sent to the right from the force of the blow. The second is a close up of Gon's face, almost completely shadowed, with intense and vacant eyes - he says "I don't care". The third continues with a close up of his eye filling with darkness - "if this is the end..." End ID.]

Feeling like nobody understands ("since it means nothing to you")

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. In a whitish-room with a crack on the wall between them, Gon stands ahead of Killua, facing away from him. They are both in shadow. End ID.]

Ignoring offers of help and shutting out loved ones... poor Killua :(

[ID: A screenshot from episode 136. A spotlight on both Killua, in the foreground, and Gon, walking away from him in the background. Killua thinks "I wanted you to ask for my help in defeating Pitou!" End ID.]

Self-loathing, self-punishment, and lack of self regard

[ID: Three screenshots, two from episode 110 and the third from episode 131. The first is a close up of Gon's face over Morel asking "When would you try to hurt yourself?" The second is a continuation. Morel looks down at Gon who is facing away from the camera as Gon replies "When I couldn't forgive myself." In the last, adult Gon, staring ahead, is animated in black and white with the only colour being the blood from the stump of his right arm. His left hand grips his shoulder. End ID.]

Blaming yourself for what happened

[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other from episode 130. In the first, Gon hugs puppet Kite around his waist. In the second, Gon stares blankly ahead with tears streaming down his face as he thinks "I killed Kite." End ID.]

Overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and shame

[writingindulgence]

Illumi x F.Reader - Expectation

Pairing: Illumi x Female Reader

Story tags: Arranged marriage, typical Zoldyck behaviour, angst-ish, heavy manipulation, ILLUMI, unhealthy one-sided dependence : ) my guy just toxic

3,200+ words and why? I don’t even like the dude. Also, two points of view.

The sound of fancy porcelain tea cups clinking against the glass table is soothing, along with the warm rays shining on your face. Times like these are what you are thankful for. The smell of purposely picked flowers, arranged to please the eyes. Not the stench of trash dumped for the sole convenience of other countries. Colourful butterflies and bees, instead of flies and disease ridden rats. A home cooked meal ready for your consumption rather than scraps of rotting food that you more often than not nearly died for.

Kukuroo mountain is infinitely more beautiful compared to Meteor City.

“(Y/n) dear, it’s unbecoming of you to make noise with your tableware,” a powerful feminine voice chastates your mistake. The woman sitting opposite you is none other than Kikyo Zoldyck. Or as she forces you to call her, mother.

Your heart flutters in relief, an apologetic expression weaving onto your face. She must be in an agreeable mood since her fan hasn’t struck your hand. Sometimes you are let off with a warning if she spots a blunder on your part. Sometimes, she resorts to physical punishment. It always depends on whether or not a family member said anything to ruin her day. In fact, any matter concerning Killua will set her off in a positive or negative direction.

Just like Illumi whenever you bring up his younger brother.

“I apologise mother, I’m too excited because Illumi is returning,” you proceed to take a sip and this time around, gently settle the tea cup down.

A content hum comes from her direction, her visor flashing for a split second. “Oh (Y/n), you’ll make such a good wife one day.” She picks up a fork gracefully and stabs it into the cake she asked for from the family cook.

The compliment ignites a multitude of feelings in your chest. It spreads out, only one thought in your mind.

How immensely grateful and happy you are to hear it.

Many of your friends from when you were young, starved to death. Some were beaten up by other desperate residents. Others lost their will to fight, a state you threaded on a magnitude of times.

Being taken away by the mafia one day was what gave you back the spark, a life in the city no more out of your reach. Until you figured out what type of work they wanted to sell you and other kids for. Stories from the older girls back in Meteor City came rushing back.

Your bloodlust and instinct to survive are what happened to change your life for the better. Out of all the line-up of children, you were selected by the Zoldycks. Instead of being the pet of some old pervert, you found a home within the assassin family.

There were many times when you felt like giving up. When the training you went through was worse than simply dying. However, you promised yourself to never throw away the chance you received all those years back.

You were indebted to the Zoldycks.

Hearing words of encouragement from one of the people you looked up to the most brought tears to your eyes. You wiped them away with your thumb.

Mother is a role model to you. It helped when you found out that she originates from Meteor City too. In a sense, it is easier to place yourself in her shoes and strive to achieve what she did. Being an amazing assassin, wife and mother.

A sudden scraping of a chair brought you back to the presence, startling you into a defensive pose. The knife under your sundress clasped in your hand.

Out of the corner of your eye you notice Kalluto coming out from behind the bushes, his paper fan also ready for action.

“My Kil, what is he doing?! Quick, we have to stop him. Kalluto go call for Milluki right now!,” she orders shrilly before running into the mansion.

Without hesitation, you rush after her. It is expected of you. A nagging feeling in the back of your head also foreshadows that whatever is going on, it will have dire consequences if not stopped.

Killua is in the foyer, being kept idle by the servants. But not for long. You can see the irritation growing on his face, his muscles tensed.

You’ve known Killua since he was a baby, having been inducted as a future family member when mother was pregnant with him. There’s no doubt that if something wasn’t done, it would lead to a messy aftermath.

A few seconds after you make it inside, Milluki shows up and the servants are all dismissed.

“Kil, my little Kil, what’s wrong? Why did I hear that you’re leaving to take the Hunter’s Exam?,” mother’s voice is aghast, the idea of her favourite child abandoning the nest filling her with pain.

You too are taken aback at the news, a protective sensation coursing through you. Your fingers flex at your side.

“It’s boring here and I heard that the Exam is difficult so I’m going to test my skill,” he shrugs her worry off and spins his skateboard. Your heart begins to pound uncontrollably.

Hearing the disrespect, Milluki steps up and lashes out at Killua. “You brat, what’s with that arrogant attitude you-,”

“Stop that!,” mother’s voice sharply cuts him down.

She begins pleading with Killua to stay, her voice cracking multiple times. It pains you to watch someone you respect growing so desperate.

Killua is too young to understand what he’s putting the ones around him through. Of course, a rebellious phase is healthy-

A prickly discomfort surges through your head and you clutch it. Your unexpected movement grabs everyone’s attention. You try to brush it off, not wishing to be a burden.

It isn’t expected of you to be one.

“Killua, you should stay here. The world is a dangerous place,” your words try to reach him. “Illumi is coming home today,  why don’t we-”,

“I don’t want him around! Just leave me alone,” he angrily interrupts. The air grows heavy. Heavier than it’s been since the beginning.

Mother gasps in shock at his behaviour since Killua never really yells at you. Yes, he gets annoyed as much as any other kid but when he shouts, he doesn’t really mean it.

It’s expected of you to coerce him into calming down.

“You’ve changed during the past few weeks (Y/n), after Illumi came back before leaving again. Anyway, I will kill you all if you try to stop me,” Killua promises in a cold voice, his blue eyes a piercing ice.

This rouses an onslaught of insults from Milluki and a mix of agony and happiness from mother.

However, you’re currently stuck in your own mind, reflecting on Killua’s comment. It is true that during the past three weeks you doted on him more than ever before. Usually you try to split your attention between him and Kalluto when you have free time. What changed?

Nothing should have changed, Killua is the priority of the family.

A high-pitched scream echoes around the foyer and your clouded head awakens. The sight in front of you freezes your blood and it takes immense strength not to bite your tongue.

Mother is kneeling down on the ground, her hands covering her bloody face. Before you can take a step, Milluki rages and charges at Killua. The young boy bounces back and proceeds to plunge the knife into his older brother. Milluki curses and grabs his wound.

On impulse, your hand is already equipped with a knife and you’re ready to protect yourself as well as mother Killua.

Killua mistakes your movements as an attack and strikes his own knife across your arm. A long gash appears on your skin, the blood seeping out moments later. You take in the pain as punishment. Punishment for letting it get this far and failing.

You’re a failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.

Taking the chance to escape, he kicks his skateboard up and runs out.

And you were helpless to stop him.

*

It’s been a while since Illumi has been back home on Kukuroo mountain, his previous mission requiring him to travel across multiple locations. The target was a cautious person so they moved from place to place, leaving lousy decoys. That did not impede Illumi at all, it was simply an inconvenience at worst.

After all, nervous-wrecks are the ones who put their emotions out on display. They are the first to slip up due to the fact that they care about others.

Which is concerning because Killua is at a stage where he is showing his rebellious streak more often. It is crucial that he can snuff it out before his dear brother falls further down the slope of idiotic fantasies . In which case, it is a slight relief that (Y/n) is here. She tries to keep Killua in check in a subtle way instead of hanging over his shoulder or perpetuating his moody behaviour.

Though the last time he visited there were hints of her growing soft and losing her devotion of raising Killua to be the next head of the family. He is ashamed to confess that it irked him to some degree. It’s expected of her to put her desires down for what he wants. And he wants Killua to be the next head.

Even so, he thought that he dealt with this the last time.

However, imagine the surprise he felt when his mother came wailing to him, begging him to follow her little Kil to the Hunter’s Exam. To think that instead of a joyful family reunion, the news of his stray younger brother reached his ears before anything else.

That won’t do.

Currently, it’s close to midnight which is the time (Y/n) comes to his room to say goodnight. Why she even bothers is beyond him. The effort of keeping up with formalities could be used for better activities. It’s already indisputable that they are arranged to marry in the future at the request of his parents, so there is no reason to be close together in any romantic sense.

In fact, Killua will succeed as the head which is why there is no point in thinking about his own future.

A sigh leaves his mouth.

There is only one positive outcome that came out of this whole arrangement. He has an extra set of eyes and he’s sure that she will listen to him without question. All he has to do is play into these formalities and she’s wrapped around his finger.

An affectionate hug here, a tiny smile there...Normally he’d be concerned that a future Zoldyck , even if not by blood, would be so easy to deceive. However, since every carefully planned step is coming from him he’s not surprised in the slightest.

It’s expected of (Y/n) to be loyal, just as much as it’s expected for Killua to take over the family business.

The wooden clock hanging opposite his bed strikes 12 but there is no sign of (Y/n). She never runs late.

The fact that she hadn’t even greeted him when he came back is also unusual. Normally she’d be pacing in front of the entrance door but today his mother took over that role. He heard that she got injured by Killua but (Y/n) has experienced worse so what’s the fuss?

It’s not his problem, he’ll just take a bath before bed. She’ll come running eventually.

~

Illumi’s right arm is beginning to grow numb. He hasn’t moved from the water in over an hour. Not because he needed a break to relax, taking time off for yourself is inefficient. No, he hasn’t moved because he’s been waiting for the familiar steps and hesitant knock to come from outside his room.

Discerning who someone is from the sound of their footsteps and how they carry themselves is second nature to any professional assassin. For instance, Milluki hovers in one spot when walking while Kalluto creates soft patters with his toes.

On the other hand, (Y/n) always shuffles her feet forward just before his door. It takes her approximately 2 seconds to knock when she’s unsure, 1 second when she’s in a normal mood and 0.5 whenever she has news deemed worthy enough for him to hear. Reading the mood of someone before they see you face to face is important.

Coming to terms with the fact that today she won’t pay him a visit, he steps out of the bathtub, water dripping down his naked body. He throws on a plain black bathrobe and leaves the bathroom. Giving his bed a quick-over, he walks out the door.

Guess it’s time for him to pay a visit instead.

If he actually bothers and gives it some thought, it’s not a mystery as to why he hasn’t even seen her shadow today. She’s ashamed. Ashamed of being a failure for letting Killua go.

Her scrambled mind is most likely trying to piece together what she should say. How she should ask for forgiveness and repent.

He wonders if she’s starving herself or if she’s contemplating about going to the self-confinement room.

Normally he’d push her into whatever she makes up but a stick approach by itself won’t be enough. There needs to be a push and pull factor involved if he wants her to listen to him unconditionally.

And what better way than to appear before her, disheveled and still wet in his robe? She’ll jump to conclusions.

Further guilt will set in, how she unnecessarily worried him by skipping the usual goodnight. His state will continue feeding her imagination, connecting unrelated dots to make her believe that he cares for her.

Truly, a puppet and its real master.

Soaking footprints follow behind him on the floor, the dim candlelight making them difficult to notice. He knocks once before letting himself in and shutting the door, back turned to the only other person inside.

A small gasp penetrates the silence and a rush of steps follow suit, stopping just behind him.

“Illumi, welcome back,” (Y/n) is the first to speak. He stays silent.

A nervous shuffle. “Is..everything okay?”.

The voice quietens downs the more she speaks. That should be enough for now.

He turns around and looks down at her concerned face, with no emotion of his own. Her eyes widen a fraction after registering his condition. Before she can open her mouth to question him further, Illumi crinkles his eyes and smiles.

“It’s nothing. I was just worried since I didn’t see you today,” he gazes away, giving her enough time to fix her expression. It’ll be harder for him to get her to open up if she thinks that he sees through her lack of control.

“I missed you too-,”

Presumptuous to think that he missed her.

“-and I’m sorry for not saying anything. I just…,” she stops right before confessing her shortcoming.

He doesn’t provide her with any more time to compose herself, a full day is already generous. Grabbing the door handle he gives it a slight tug but her hand shuts it and pulls his sleeve. That’s new. (Y/n) rarely takes the initiative.

He allows her to drag him over to the bed, slightly curious about her next move. Is she trying to entertain him as an apology or simply trying to put distance between him and the door?

Both tactics aren’t half bad when it comes to simple targets.

He sits down on the covers and analyses her.

A long white nightdress, face ready for bed, barefoot, and a long knife wound going up her arm.

A shred of pride for Killua’s work passes through his head but he doesn’t showcase this. If by any chance she spotted the look, it would demolish the picture he wants to paint.

(Y/n) kneels down in front of him and takes his hand into hers. It’s warm, though not as soft as it used to be. Her breasts rest atop his knees.

His attention migrates from the sudden action to her face, looking for answers. He made sure that she will only expect affection coming from him, not the other way around. It would be too tiring to keep up a loving demeanour- no, scratch that. It wouldn’t be tiring but the expectations would eventually rise and it would result in less time spent on bringing up Killua.

Oh, he zoned out.

(Y/n)’s eyes are full of regret and desperation, the hand holding his trembling just enough to tell him that today’s event is eating at her. Is she waiting for him to say something?

Finally after what feels like an unprecedented amount of time, the scene unfolds.

Her smaller hand pulls his to her face and rests it against her cheek. The second his skin touches hers, he detects slight heat radiating. She must have not treated the cut. The knife was probably dirty too, Killua slacks off in that regard.

“I’m sorry for being a failure, I’m very sorry Illumi. I have no excuse,” the apology flows out of her mouth, bottom lip quivering. The pain of looking at someone she disappointed forces her eyes to shut close. Her free hand latches onto his thigh and she digs in before continuing.

“You can slash my other arm as punishment. Or hang me upside down in the self-containment room,” she throws out. “But please, please don’t give up on me. I can do better Illumi”.

And as if to prove how determined she is, her eyes open up again, staring deeply into his own. Unwavering. Confident.

Though the thumb that he has under her jaw gave the hammering pulse away.

1,2,3. 1,2. 1,2,3.

He stretched out the silence, pretending to ponder over his answer. The unsettling emotions influencing her thoughts will prove beneficial when he flips her assumption around.

He removes his hand from her cheek and moves the one on his thigh to her side. (Y/n) adopts a look of relief, believing that he agreed to her conditions of punishment. What he’s about to do is infinitely more cruel though.

She catches her breath when he follows her example and kneels in front of her. He pulls up the sleeve of her nightdress that’s slipping down before grabbing her shoulders, gently.

“How can I not give up on you when you give up on yourself,” he lectures her, peeking down at her wound. Make the target question their actions.

An expression of remorse adorns her face, a downward tug of the mouth.

He pulls her in, arms encircling and resting on her lower back. The material of the nightdress is light enough for him to make out the feeling of skin.

“Though I won’t give up on you.” Affirmation and a moment of reassurance.

One of his hands travels deliberately slowly up to her neck. It rests on the back of her head, fingers entangled in her hair. Illumi locates the present that he left her the last time he visited and pushes it back into her head. It has moved slightly out.

This prompts (Y/n) to hug him in response, her previously hanging arms now resting comfortably around him. Good, as for the finishing line.

“Though your failure is a disappointment, I know that you will not repeat the same mistake, because you

love me, right?”.

Her head moves to rest between the crook of his neck, nodding in agreement. She doesn’t ask him if he loves her.

It’s expected of her not to.

[telehxhtrash]

Hey, what are your thoughts on that scene right before the invasion, that Shoot looks to Killua and thinks "(...) but then, why is it that once in a while he seems so sad?" (It's vol. 24, p. 205 and 206) Is it because Killua is worried about how Gon will react in his confrotation with Pitou? Or is he feeling helpless because he kinda "failed" in his previous mission? Or because Gon keeps talking about Palm (lol)?

MAN TY FOR THIS ASK BC I DO HAVE THOUGHTS ON THIS !!! 

ok im killugon trash so my pov on this may not be the most objective BUT

let’s think about this. Up until that observation, what happened to Killua during the arc? 

What we saw was Killua constantly putting himself in danger to earn the right to be next to Gon. He felt like he wasn’t enough and was looking for ways to feel worthy of staying by Gon’s side (”is it okay if i stay by your side?”). During this arc, he constantly pushed past his limit in order to protect Gon, or in order to stay by his side.

But paralleled with Killua’s despair and need to stay with Gon forever was Gon pushing him away. First time this happens is with the introduction to Palm, and her trying to “date” Gon, which results in Killua’s feelings of insecurity growing. What if Gon ends up dating her and leaving Killua behind ? One day, Gon would eventually leave him to date someone, right ? So this only fueled Killua’s insecurities and despair to stay by Gon’s side.

But then, Gon pushes him completely out, by refusing to let Killua in on his fight against Pitou (”i’m taking on that one myself”), which further reinforces this idea that Killua is “losing” Gon.

While Killua was desperately trying to get closer to Gon and earn the right to stay by his side, Gon was sadly too focused on revenge and pushed him away, both physically and emotionally.

Killua felt shut out, felt like Gon was putting some distance between the both of them, and with Killua having this sudden surge of new feelings, it just.... destroyed him to see the person he loves the most drift further and further away from him.

Now, what happened right before Shoot makes this observation ? Literally the line that precedes this is :

Gon seems worried about Palm. And we know Killua is jealous of Palm, and has such a terrible, terrible self-esteem that he thinks Gon cares more about her than him.

This idea that Killua feels like Palm is more important to Gon than him is highlighted during their confrontation. Killua emphasizes that “only Palm” can save Gon at this point. Because he feels like she’s more important to him.

Killua really, really believes Gon replaced him with Palm. 

So now, when you put everything together, it makes sense why Killua looks so sad. He’s been struggling with his place next to Gon, feeling so much sudden love for him but struggling to feel worthy of staying by him, and at the same time feeling like his place alongside Gon is threatened by this new romantic rival, who Gon seems to care a lot about.

After having been pushed away both physically and emotionally, and because of his self-loathing, Killua feels like he’s going to lose Gon. Like Gon is putting some distance between them. 

So Gon constantly asking about Palm before the invasion is NOT helping. Because Killua feels like Gon is replacing him with Palm (really tells you a lot about how he sees himself towards Gon - at the same level of a romantic partner. fellas is it gay?)

that’s why in my opinion Shoot makes this observation that Killua looks so sad. Because everything is piling up inside of him and threatening to burst, and it SHOWS.

His love for Gon, his self-loathing, his need to stay by his side forever, the fear of losing him to someone else, the fear of Gon leaving him.

Like you said, I really unironically believe that Gon talking about Palm constantly before the invasion did not help Killua’s insecurities at all and only led him to feel even more sad, because he felt like Gon was replacing him with her. 

So I truly, truly believe that Gon worrying about Palm was one of the major reasons Killua broke down and looked so sad. Because he was jealous of her having Gon’s attention, while he was getting pushed away by the one he loves the most.

Kind of unrelated but kind of not also : I think the whole Gon talking about Palm a lot before the invasion is also what led Killua to have a breakdown over the words “let’s go”. Killua felt bad the entire arc and felt scared about losing Gon. He also felt like Gon cared a lot about Palm and felt extreme sadness because at the same time he opened up to someone new, he began to reject Killua.

all these feelings escalated and accumulated until he just couldn’t contain it anymore. the “let’s go” thing was the last straw that almost pushed him over the edge. he was so scared the entire arc about losing Gon, and he was desperate to know how much Gon cared for him that he almost couldn’t contain himself to ask Gon what he’d been aching to ask for weeks.

That “how do you see me ?” question.

It’s terrible timing. Really, they’re in the middle of a death mission, why is Killua having an existential crisis right now ?

Because he had been desperate the entire arc to earn the right to stay by Gon. Because he loves Gon so, so much and the only thing he wants is to stay by his side forever. Because he saw someone, Palm, a romantic rival, try to take Gon away from him. Because Gon pushed him away. Because Gon kept on talking about Palm, his “love interest”.

That “let’s go” was the last straw. Everything was piling up, and this was once again Gon being distant towards him, which led him to completely lose it and question his entire worth.

Killua looking sad before the Palace Invasion and having a breakdown over the words “let’s go” are definitely related to Gon talking about Palm a few moments before. Because to Killua, Palm is more important to Gon than he is. And because he’s been experiencing such intense, new feelings for him, he couldn’t help but feel jealous and this further fueled his self-loathing, self-deprecation and desperate need for Gon’s validation.

All of these feelings were threatening to burst out of him, as Shoot highlighted, and it ALMOST did as Gon told him to follow him. Because he was desperate for Gon to show him and tell him he still cared about him. 

Gon pushing him away, being distant, and constantly talking about someone else hurt Killua pretty badly.

Because up until this moment, everything led him to believe that Gon was pushing him away and had replaced him. And he desperately needed Gon to tell him how he felt about him.

In short, Shoot pointing out that Killua looked very sad was him highlighting his chaotic gay existential crisis.

man idk if that was clear or not it was really messy but my brain is mush HAHAHA but ty for this ask !!

[thethousandyearwitch]

The Show Must Go On! Chap. 5

- A Youtuber AU you didn’t want and didn’t need -

Hisoka Morrow, italian Makeup Youtuber, enjoys his life in the comfort and occasional drama of his profession. But nothing brings more drama into his life than the eldest son of the Zoldyck fashion magazine empire.

Meanwhile, aspiring australian Twitch Streamer Gon Freecs forms a special bond to a Speedrunner commonly going by "Kil".

Chapter 5 “Grief of Want” out now!

AO3 Link. 

Killua held his phone close to his chest, face flushed almost painfully.

GON: I appreciate you too.

That message had knocked the wind out of the young boy, his heart was racing. It had taken him so much energy to text Gon that he appreciated him, had multiple texts written and deleted that ended in ‘I’m glad you’re my friend’ because in the end he still couldn’t bring himself to say that word, but this had been close enough.

The grip around his phone tightened. The feeling was mutual, mutual appreciation, mutual support, and now Killua got to keep its existence close to his heart and locked away there.

Somewhere in the mansion, his mother harshly ordered some butlers to prepare tea and snacks. He locked his door again, not willing to be bribed outside of his room with bland biscuits and bitter tea.

It wouldn’t hurt to look up prices for flights, he thought to himself.

Did Milluki ever change his credit card code?

.

.

.

Illumi shifted in his chair as recording for Hisoka’s new video started. Unlike his colleague next to him, who blossomed under the attention of a camera lens, Illumi never knew how to move his body, what to do with his face. After appearing for the first time in a collab with the other, he had been told through the comments that he looks like a mannequin if he didn’t move, and then had been told that that was most likely an insult.

Hisoka went over his regular introductions, explaining the fashion week, how he was going to fashion his make up to match the suit he was wearing-

“…designed by my good colleague, Illumi Zoldyck!” the artist made some flowery hand gestures towards Illumis person.

“Ah, thank you for having me.” The Zoldyck bowed his head a little, before returning to his straight posture.

Hisoka wore a professional smile on his lips, that seemed so inherently different from the masks that Illumi was usually surrounded by. He didn’t hide that glint in his golden eyes, that gave away how easily he’d launch at the throats of his competition at the first show of weakness. Illumi wondered if that glint was directed at him when he wasn’t looking, if the company he’s started to warm up to was secretly waiting for him to do just that, only to immediately slaughter him.

“Now I understand you’re going to upload a process video of this beautiful piece on your channel, but why not give my viewers a little insight into your inspiration for it?”

Oh.

The slaughter had come quicker than expected. He decided he did not like the rushing fear and anxiety. He didn’t like the prying, golden eyes fixated on only him, as if he knew.

As if Hisoka knew that Illumi designed the suit that last new years eve, huddled away in his room because everyone was too loud and too much, and it didn’t really matter if he was there or not. It was cold, and he felt indifferent to a new year starting, convinced it was going to be the same as the last; Run errands for the company, watch Killua turn into the neatly moulded heir to the fortune that he had been chosen to be, get all his designs rejected because he should just finally drop that hobby of his. And it would have been a miserable and yet indifferent night like any other, if at exactly 12 a.m. he wouldn’t have gotten the single text:

“Hisoka M.: Happy New Year, darling Illumi ❤ Lets work hard together this year as well, as if you’d ever get rid of me~ “

Illumi wanted to blame it on being cold, or that his senses were confused by all the lights and sounds. But it felt nice to be thought of, and it felt nice to be encouraged. He wanted to return this unfamiliar kindness; in the only way he knew how, not with words but with the only thing he deemed himself good at.

He designed a suit for Hisoka, and for Hisoka only. Moulded to his features, personality, and likes. Obviously, he had succeeded, seeing his work on his muse.

But he could never tell Hisoka all of that, and he could never tell it to his millions of followers.

So, instead he simply said "I had the idea for a denim suit in this sort of cut after being inspired by western movies. I wanted to bring the concept closer to our modern age with the fine white, and the colourful card-suits as an accent to poker games as a typical western movie activity."

He looked to Hisoka for approval, who simply smiled and clapped his hands together.

"Right, how fun! Maybe we should go horseback riding together after this, I know a couple of cowboy movies to re-enact~."

Before the Zoldyck could reply with an appropriate reaction -disgust, he thought - Hisoka smoothly transitioned to the next part of the video, explaining what make up look he had in mind, what brands he was going to use, and hissing to his future editing-self to cut out the part where he called his sponsor a "fucking cheapskate".

The artist knew what he was doing, how to best keep his viewers engaged, and how to host a blank-slate guest such as Illumi. On their first collaboration, conversation had been kept to a minimum, but slowly they had found a rhythm to work in, a question and answer to keep air in motion.

"You don't use a lot of makeup, right, Illumi?" Hisoka was almost done applying a powdered foundation, that seemed mixed just to fit his skin.

"Most days I just apply a light moisturizer before I go to bed."

“I don’t doubt that, you’ve got impeccable skin.”

Illumi hesitated at Hisokas purr, “…Thank you.”

The other giggled devilishly, in the way that the designer knew never meant any good. “So, since you don’t use make up, you’re probably helpless when it comes to applying it.”

“I may not have years of experience, but I believe I’d be able to apply it adequately and-“ Before he could finish his sentence, the other man presented him with a lipstick. “Then would you do the honours of applying my lipstick for me? Unless you’re doubting your abilities suddenly.”

Of course, he’d go for a childish challenge like this, Illumi thought while he mustered the rich red colour of the lipstick, perfectly matched to the red values of the suit. He still had the option to refuse, to cut this out in final editing, to continue being a still doll that would occasionally speak. But instead, he grabbed Hisoka’s chin with a slight uptilt. “Open your mouth a little.” “Oh, Illumi, on the first date alrea-“Illumi pressed the tips of his nails into the others cheeks, which resulted in an excited, yet obedient Hisoka.

The colour came easily and evenly onto his lips as Illumi carefully drew across the curvature, the heat of the artists’ skin seeping into his own. Up close as he was, he could notice all the details in the others face. No scars, evenly tanned, a hint of smile lines around his golden eyes. Illumi thought that he was objectively attractive, and there was nothing wrong with being able to admit that another man had symmetric facial features that were appealing to the eyes. “Handsome face, rotten personality, someday he will make a lovely girl absolutely miserable.” is what Kikyo Zoldyck had initially said after she had watched their first collaboration together. “Illumi? Are you painting the mona lisa on me?” Hisoka had slightly retracted out of the others grip, and he smiled as if he knew what he was thinking. Illumi withdrew his hand, straightened his back, and averted his eyes. “I was merely admiring the quality of this lipstick. What was it?”  

Distraction via brand pushing, very effective against Hisoka, who immediately snapped back towards the camera, presenting the makeup closer. “Of course! It’s the new Gucci line of matte lipsticks, this is number 500, Odalie Red, I am head over heels for this beauty!”

.

.

.

.

The rest of the filming process went over relatively smoothly, safe for when Hisoka sneezed so loud that Illumi visibly startled, and when Illumi had to scold Hisoka about wrinkling the suit.

Click. Hisoka turned the camera off, and Illumi laid his head on the table. Filming exhausted him, he didn’t like to maintain his public persona for that long, even though he had been bred to be able to do so. Even though he was no longer the heir. Even though he was the oldest and most capable.

A pleasant coolness took him out of whatever dangerous train of thought he was about to board, and he looked up to see Hisoka offering a bottle of sparkling water. “Good work today~”

His fingers wrapped around the cool glass bottle. “Thank you, you too. I’m pleasantly surprised, you planned out an actual look for today.”

The makeup artist settled back in his chair with a light laugh. “I didn’t want to disappoint you, after you spoil me so well~. I look like I could walk the fashion show myself.”

“You do look very handsome.” Illumi took a sip of his water before he realized what he had said.

Hisoka stared at him, mouth agape.

“It’s probably just the suit complimenting your features-”

Silence.

“I mean, anyone looks handsome if you plaster them with tons of makeup like that-”

Blink, blink.

“And even if you were to look handsome, that doesn’t fix your horrid core-��

Before he could think of any more explanations and excuses for what he said, Illumi was pulled into a hug, his head tucked firmly under Hisoka’s chin, arms wrapped around him. “You’re being an absolute dear today, my dear Illumi~ You may look at me like you want to rip off my head, but I can tell you still are happy to visit!”

And naturally he wanted to protest, wanted to hurl insults at him, and regain his personal space. But just for a second, he didn’t want to struggle. He just wanted to take in the warmth that was enveloping him, smell the natural sweetness lingering in the air, and embrace human contact as anyone with a normal upbringing would.

One.

His hand shot up to grip around Hisoka’s throat. “Do you want to live to see tonight’s show, or are you going to keep suffocating me?”

Immediately Hisoka held his arms up, and the warmth was gone. Illumi patted down his shirt, straightened his collar, and checked his hair in the mirror. It was almost time to leave, if he wanted to be in time to prepare the models and do last minute adjustments.

“Unfortunately, I’ll only live to see the livestream from the comfort of my home.”

“Oh?”

Hisoka started wiping the makeup off his face, a new box of makeup remover being ripped open. “The model I was assigned to for tonight ended up dropping the contract last minute, meaning that my ticket is only effective starting night two.”

“Oh, I see.” Illumi stood up and mustered himself again, checking for any flaws. Somehow, he felt disappointed. “Well, I have to leave anyways, I still need to check the fit of everything.” He had to go and check the fit of the collection he was premiering and Hisoka will not be able to see it, and he was disappointed.

“I will pick you up before the second night then, so you don’t have to show up in a cheap taxi again-“He reached out for his bag to swiftly leave through the door, but Hisoka grabbed his wrist, and pulled him into another tight hug.

“I thought you wanted to live to see the show.”

“And I will, and I’ll be there on time to see your premiere, that’s a promise~” The taller man pressed a quick kiss on top of his head, still bearing a sly grin as Illumi ripped himself free once again.

“Don’t do anything stupid, especially not while you’re associating with me.” A pointed finger, and a death stare were the last things Illumi presented to Hisoka as he rushed through the door. He only heard a muffled “But you know me~!” while he descended the stairs.

Subconsciously he ran his fingers over where Hisoka’s lips touched his head.

.

.

.

.

Preparations were quickly dealt with. Illumis overly neat and controlled way of working had paid off. No further adjustments to clothes had to be made, all models were prepared and let themselves be pushed and pulled as needed. He scanned the crowd behind the curtains, as his models started to line up. In the front row, he spotted one of his mothers’ commissioned writers, a young plain girl, short black hair, and framed glasses, reading over her notes.

He knew she wasn’t going to take notes during his premiere, because she didn’t get paid for that. Because his parents have already told him that his designs will not make it into the magazine. It was only a hobby after all. The single distraction he was allowed to have from his duties for the company. They didn’t have the need to show off his little hobby in the magazine, like a crayon drawing on the fridge.

The music started, the curtains opened, and Illumi stepped to the side of the stage. The beat of the music mixed with the hard beating of his heart in his chest. Anxiously he scanned the crowd for reactions, though camera flashes blinded him quicker than he could look. It was a short premiere, sandwiched between two bigger brands showcasing new seasons. The last 3 models walked down the catwalk, Illumis eyes following them closely.

But at the end of the stage, his eyes wandered deep into the crowd. And a pink flash at the very end drew his attention.

It unmistakably was Hisoka, hair let down, wearing thick sunglasses and a plain black suit, lips curled into a smile, leaned lazily against the wall.

He came.

How the hell did he come in here without a ticket.

He had no ticket, but he came, and he saw.

And as fast as he appeared, he was gone, disappearing behind someone else’s figure as the last model left the stage.

He forced himself to look away, thanked the models for their work, and left the backstage area in favour for the VIP lounge, finally taking out his phone.

One new message.

“Hisoka M.: It was breath-taking, caro mio ♥”

“Illumi: Don’t get caught, Idiot.”

Someone handed him a glass of champagne and asked questions about the family magazine.

“Illumi: Let me pick you up tomorrow for the event. You’re the least despicable person here.”

[killuazoldyck001]

The Tree and The Cat (Gon x Killua)

The rain had stopped the next morning, but the little feline did not notice it until a drop of water, which had slipped from one of Gon’s leaves, fell on his nose and woke him up. The face of the animal form of killua lit up and left the position where he had slept to stretch, leaning on his front legs and let out a long yawn.

Killua looked up and found the tree standing proudly on that beautiful morning, Lucia more beautiful and helpless than before, since the rainwater had nourished him. Killua was very grateful for the kindness I gave him last night, so the best way he found to show his gratitude was rubbing lovingly in the trunk of Gon but his nerves and his shame prevented him, he stayed a moment watching him for then arm yourself with courage.

Once upon a time there was a tree by the road: tall, erect and strong. He was far from everyone, without any company. I did not do good or hurt anyone, I had not given a flower and I never expect anything from someone. The tree knew how to live alone and kept everyone away… Although it had never been this way.

A long time ago that tree was a humble boy, he used to be a dark and happy young man… One day in the morning he decided to visit his aunt, while he was heading to a certain place he found a lady in trouble, as a gentleman decided to help him, the lady gladly accepted the help, when finally he got up from the ground he bowed and thanked him and then said…

“As a token of my gratitude I will give you an enchantment” he took out his wand and shook it saying words he did not know

When he finished saying his enchantment he lost his human form to become a plant, a beautiful and leafy tree.

The young man with dark skin and jet-black hair could not accept a sentence of that magnitude, there was no way he could learn to live without the ability to speak or be heard… With the passage of time, Gon understood that there was no way out… The sorceress had said it clearly.

          "When you feel true love you can recover your human form …“

Gon knew that this "antidote” to his shame was nothing more than a humiliation, since there was no way someone could fall in love with him in that state, so with the steps of the year he gave up living like a tree for the rest of his life…

Life in the countryside was calm, the wind blew, the landscape and the travelers were the most common. One day the tranquility of the environment was eliminated by a carriage that moved at a great speed. Gon watched everything from his impenetrable place.

Inside the carriage Killua went who felt desperation because he knew what would happen, a few months ago he had gone to the forest to play but he found a sorcerer and when he did not obey he turned him into a cat, he tried to make his family realize that It was the but it did not get result. Now he was in this predicament they had moved far away from home with the sole purpose of abandoning him there.

Killua looked at Alluka with pleading eyes, but his mother looked at him with disgust without knowing it was really his son, his father took him by the skin with his hand and threw him out of the carriage, to then make the horse run more fast and away from him.

Killua rolled across the sore ground coughing in the middle of the cloud of dust, all in front of the presence of that majestic tree, sobbing with intensity while licking the scratches that had been on his skin and white fur. He cried bitterly as he walked through that field with his head bowed, until he laid his eyes on the leafy tree.

“Ahh … tree? Are you alone?"  asked the cat curiously in his little feline eyes as he walked

"completely alone"  replied the tree with indifference. Over the years Gon discovered that it could be understood, the sound that caused his foliage to have contact with the wind could be extended by the animals of the forest and other plants although Gon did not like to talk for a long time.

Killua nodded and filled one of his little legs with saliva and then ran it through his ears "and you do not feel alone?”

“Not at all,” said indifferent Gon

“And you never feel sadness, fear or loneliness?” I ask Killua again, remembering that he was probably the most fearful feline in the world

“Never … I do not wait for anyone, I do not need anyone”

Killua let out a long sigh while posing that pair of pretty eyes on Gon “As I would like to be independent and be able to live alone, and not feel sad for anyone” even though Killua’s parents had abandoned him, before all of that I will pass it treated very well.

The wind blew once more, making the green foliage of Gon wave from one side to the other calmly. Gon replied with dignity: “Well, that’s not hard to learn … Live with me, watch and when you wear clothes you will live alone”

“Thank you” said killua staying there. The pussycat’s expressions softened as he huddled under the tree. Maybe he would tell her his true story later.

With the passing of days the little cat got used to the countryside environment; everything was very serene and calm, even around that vivid tree. The birds flew calmly towards the green foliage of the highest but they moved away immediately, Killua did not understand why

The fact that Gon was so alone was because he was in charge of driving the others away; each time a bird approached to salute or to perch on its leaves, Gon moved from one side to the other, making this task impossible for the winged animals. Each time an animal looked for shade in its branches, the tree hugged itself, causing its limbs to no longer be optimal shelters for the rest of living beings.

The tree was ignorant of the fact that Killua was otherwise observant and he soon realized the way in which he separated the others. The cat was upset, why would that huge tree do something like that? Killua could not imagine himself doing that, he loved to talk and play especially with his sister. In one way or another, the cat was afraid that the tree would do the same thing at some point, and that’s why it retained a certain distance.

One night it began to rain reluctantly. A storm accompanied by strong winds and a cold breeze whipped the tranquility of the countryside. Like any feline, the rain terrified Killua, but in particular he was frightened by the rumblings caused by the storm and the shadows that played a hard time on his imagination. Killua squeezed her eyes tightly and curled up on the floor, begging internally for the rain to stop. Suddenly it was swept by the wind until it hit the strong trunk of Gon.

He was about to walk away so as not to disturb his partner, but a branch on his head, protecting the rain, prevented him. Gon did not understand very well why. But something in that little kitten woke up in him, the instinct of protection along with a very confused feeling. The tree felt the need to protect the cat.

Gon squeezed his branches to create a roof that protected Killua from the rain all night.

The rain had stopped the next morning, but the little feline did not notice it until a drop of water, which had slipped from one of Gon’s leaves, fell on his nose and woke him up. The face of the animal form of killua lit up and left the position where he had slept to stretch, leaning on his front legs and let out a long yawn.

Killua looked up and found the tree standing proudly on that beautiful morning, Lucia more beautiful and helpless than before, since the rainwater had nourished him. Killua was very grateful for the kindness I gave him last night, so the best way he found to show his gratitude was rubbing lovingly in the trunk of Gon but his nerves and his shame prevented him, he stayed a moment watching him for then arm yourself with courage.

Killua walked among the branches and rubbed his head against Gon as his blood rose to his head creating small tears in his eyes of shame, but implying that it was a gesture of gratitude.

Again, Gon could not describe what he felt when he perceived the soft fur of the animal on the hard layer of his trunk, he thought that if he had been in his human form he would surely have smiled. Gon did not realize that the sensitive leaves of his foliage rejoiced at the contact offered by the opposite.

The rest of that day and the following days were summarized to that. Killua occasionally leaned on his back in one of the branches of the tree and played with the leaves that hung over him.Gon responded by moving his branches right over his nose, causing a tingling that disturbed the little cat, or there were moments when Killua meowed Gon to get his attention and caress his head and back with his branches, purring Killua.

There were other days in which Killua fell asleep under the tree and the sun fell on him without realizing it, Gon moved one of its branches to protect him, in few situations he caressed Killua without realizing it. And every day Killua would sit on his favorite branch to watch the sunset.

At the beginning of winter, Gon began to lose its leaves one by one, the leaves that had now turned orange fell on the ground and on the hairy ears of Killua. On one of the nights when the freezing breeze whipped through the surroundings, it began to snow.

Snowflakes slowly descended on the branches of the tree and the little cat making its fur whiter. Killua hugged himself in an attempt to protect himself from the cold and not feel so afraid, he was so terrified he felt it would be his last night and he thought that at any moment he would confess his feelings to Gon but he would not … He did not want it to be run, much less with that climate.

Killua did not notice the moment when he started crying, until one of the branches of the tree touched him on the cheek, causing him to open his feline eyes. The branches of Gon moved from side to side with urgency causing the snow to fall to the ground. The cat was confused he did not know what Gon wanted to tell him.

It had broken Gon’s heart to see the baby cry and he knew that only one thing could be done if he wanted to take care of it. The tree began to tremble violently before the curious look of the kitten, its trunk tensed and it hurt everything, but he knew that his suffering would be worth it to be able to protect the animal that so much … That he loved so much, that in just a couple of days before he realized the treasure he had, promising himself to confess at the end of winter.

The cat’s eyes widened in surprise when he saw that a hole had emerged from the trunk of the tree like the ones he had seen in other trees before and were used by owls or squirrels as a home.

Killua, still a little surprised, entered the dark cavity that the tree had built for himself. Inside the Killua tree he watched the snow fall to a deep sleep.

The days passed, Gon and Killua talked more having fun without giving importance to the strong cold, Killua missed Alluka every day he wondered how was he? .. But on the other hand the feelings towards Gon grew more and more remembering, what the sorcerer had said.

The winter ended and the spring was not long in coming, the next morning the snow fell from the branches of Gon, giving way to buttons of pink flowers. The tree did not know how to feel before having given flowers, that was something that had never happened and because that meant that all the insects and different birds wanted to get close to it; but for some strange reason, having flowers among its branches, excited him. He imagined how much Killua would like, especially since it would be the perfect time to declare his feelings.

Gon could not wait for his friend to wake up, so I look with the help of his branches inside him to pick him up. To his surprise, the little cat was no longer there.

In the distance, Gon spotted a naked boy with white hair moving slowly away.

“Who you are?” I ask Gon

The beautiful young man faced the tree with a broken smile.

“It’s me, the cat that had lived with you all this time or at least in my true form … I was haunted this is my human form, My name is Killua”

Something inside Gon turned to see him naked and his face with such human features, but keeping that pair of sapphire eyes that had … hypnotized? The tree began to tremble with haste.

With a thud and a strange mist until leaving a young man with dark skin and jet-black hair collapsed on the bare ground and with a look of fear.

            "When you feel true love you can recover your human form …“

"What’s going on?” asked Killua

“My name is Gon, I was bewitched … What are you doing?” the brunette whispered, remembering that the opposite had been moving away

“I … I’m leaving … I’ll go look for my family … My sister … Goodbye” Killua answered, about to cry while walking again

“No … Do not leave, you’ve taught me a lot, stay,” although Gon felt it and knew that the reason he had recovered his human form could not be said in words … He was in love

Killua stopped, the tears came without her permission, her chest hurt … How could she leave the person she loved?…

“If you want to recover your human form, find true love, but you will have to reject it”

Killua smiled at Gon for the last time with his tears and left.

Gon stood up and breathed hard as his eyes filled with tears

“Wait” he extended his hand towards him but as he took the first step his foot sank into the ground, struggling hard without much success

“Do not leave me! Do not walk away!” He shouted louder with his agitated breathing, Killua did not turn around, his tears did not stop, on the contrary, he cried more and more, but he did not stop. Gon took the second step sinking in the same way while his cry became stronger

“Killuaa !! … I love you!” Gon shouted at full lung spilling his tears, taking root again

“When you feel true love you can recover your human form, but, you will not be completely human again until the love you feel is returned”

While Killua continued to go away crying, Gon slowly returned to be a tree, falling its flowers, its branches…

Note:

This Story was inspired from a story; one that I read when I was little. Of course I changed to thin, hahaha I did not want to be hated when I’m just starting.

Unfortunately I do not remember the name of the story … but I remember the story very well.

The story I read when I was little ends, when the cat dies …

[fireolin]

7, 8, 16 aaaaand 6? :D

Thanks DC! Good questions! Ohh, I have to think about some of these…

7: Least favorite plot point/chapter/moment?

My least favourite moment is poor Gon strung up from the ceiling by Hisoka in my least-loved fic, ‘Broken’. Mostly because poor Gon is suffering so much and is totally helpless (the prompt was ‘helpless’). But he does get out of there, because I could never leave one of the boys suffering like that. And though I haven’t written a second chapter, and probably never will, in this AU, Gon has every intention in the next part of figuring out a way to propose.

8. Favorite plot point/chapter/moment?

This is harder… I have lots of favourite moments, especially since I usually write fics for the sake of getting to the ending, which I always hope is rewarding. So I’ll just pick one from a fic I don’t usually mention. In ‘Against the Storm’, Killua hasn’t seen Gon for a long time and is coming to terms with his face having grown into the one he saw the night Gon killed Pitou. My favorite moment is when he finally begins to see different things in Gon’s face:

‘…The intensity in Gon’s eyes stole Killua’s breath. And there was a familiar stubbornness he’d seen there for other things. This time it was there for him. A smile tugged his lips. Shadows lingered beneath Gon’s brow and dark lashes, but his irises shone, chestnut brown filled with amber and golden rays. Killua had no idea who’d edged closer on the pillow. Maybe both of them…’

Of course the moment is a lot longer than this.

16. 3 favorite comments ever received on fanfic.

Oh wow! I honestly treasure every single comment! It’s very hard to choose three! So I’m going to choose some first times that had a big impact on me. 1. The first comment I ever got was such a shock and so validating to receive at all, and it included this, which I never forgot:

‘Also..."When Killua’s intense blue gaze practically caressed his face." You just killed me with that line. y_y’’

Just to know that one line really worked was amazing. Because otherwise, I wouldn’t have! Every time someone pulls lines out like that, it’s incredible to know they were felt.

2. DragonDamsel (you’ll probably see this!) wrote me the longest comment on Kiss Me Better that was more a complete, detailed review than just a comment. It was the first time I’d received anything like that. She told me her favourite parts and explained exactly why the fic worked for her—and it totally blew me away. And then we chatted and I had the chance to get to know her, and that was wonderful

3. The first time someone told me they stayed up all night reading my fic and that it made them cry (in a good way). I was so touched. It made me feel like it was worth writing. Learning to write to the point where people would feel as they read is one of my goals as a writer. Hearing that people enjoy my fics and are moved enough to cry—or react with any emotion—is incredible and humbling.

6. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?

Well, to be honest, the one thing I’ve always wanted to be able to write, but just have not been able to do, is PWP. I just. Can’t. It’s like a block. I’m comfortable writing sex, but I need context. For me, it has to be part of a story, otherwise I just don’t know what I’m writing about, and then it doesn’t work. Sooo…I am attempting one atm for a friend because they asked me for it. It’s so bad, it may remain forever unpublished.

Thanks so much for these questions, DC! It’s so kind of you and it’s fun thinking them through!Writing Ask Meme

[todokori-kun]

Ack

 that sounds horrible, getting sick is the worst ;-; get as much rest as you can! I really hope you get better soon<3

(omg the pics are GORGEOUS. Like, Wow. Once I’m done writing this message I’m probably going to go back to stare at them for like an hour and silently scream over how awesome everything looks)

Don’t worry about it, I admit that Stoki is pretty much a crack ship ^^;;

And, well, the redemption fic I mentioned helped me fall deeper into Stoki hell, but I shipped it even before that XD I think part of it is just because I think they could have a really interesting dynamic- they’re just so different, complete opposites. Steve would confuse Loki so much tbh

Also, I just think that Steve (or at least, post-CW Steve) might be one of the avengers most willing to at least try to understand Loki. Partly because Steve’s just a nice guy, and then because of his relationship with Bucky- ‘cause Steve-Bucky and Thor-Loki are really, really similar and I think Steve would realize that.

And then like I said, Steve cares a lot about other people. If Thor ever told him about everything that happened between him and Loki Steve probably wouldn’t have too much difficulty in starting to see Loki as a human(?) being instead of some one-dimensional fairy tale villain.

Lastly, I feel like Steve is just the best person to handle Loki’s issues. He may not be able to personally relate to a lot of it (Tony, Bruce, maybe Natasha would be better for that) but he can take a step back and think rationally about the situation, help convince Loki that just because the rest of the world sees him as a monster, doesn’t mean he has to be one.

Hopefully this made sense? lol)

yeah, that’s pretty much how I felt about it too. It was just so freaking frustrating OTL

(And yes that letter destoyed my feelings too)

btw, can I ask what you think about T'challa? He doesn’t seem to have that many fans yet but I think he’s really cool and possibly one of the more sensible people in the CW movie (once he stops being furious at Bucky). Also the trailer for his new movie is epic and I can’t wait to see his sister…

Hisoillu is bizarre (sadistic murdery Clown with no sense of fashion + sadistic murdery needle guy with dead fish eyes) but also makes a lot of sense at the same time? Like, Hisoka got away with joking about killing Killua in front of Illumi, so…yeah. They’ve got something special LOL

omg imagine.

‘Satisfied but when you fantasize at night it’s Illumi’s eyes’

'Helpless but look into Illumi’s eyes and the sky’s the limit’

'History has its Eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi’

Why do I want these memes to be a thing

With the new revelation about who Touka was visiting at the hospital, I’m beginning to have my doubts about how this will end…maybe they might actually both survive for now???

But I’m a bit miserable rn because if one of them has to die I’d rather keep Juuzou too but it seems much more likely for Touka to survive. She’s like the main female lead, plus she has Kaneki’s baby…

R.I.P Naki, the sweetest cinnamon roll who just wanted to see his big bro again ;-;

(Also: Wow, way to go Kaneki, you finally started acting like an actual leader (in a way)! But can I just say, what absolutely perfect timing)

WTH I had no idea Soul Eater’s art style developed that much???!!! That’s actually pretty amazing! (And yeah, I know that SE has some pretty complex characters and interesting stories in it :D it’s just still a lot lighter and has different themes from the mangas I usually enjoy ^^ I might try it out though!)

Death The Kid seems really cool! (does he really have OCD in canon, though? Like, I’ve seen a lot of Soul Eater fans talking like he does but idk if it’s actually a thing? Maybe I sound weird but it just seems insensitive to say characters like DTK and Levi have 'OCD’ and talking about it jokingly when it’s actually incredibly difficult and stressful for people who actully have OCD, so I’m not sure how to feel about those fans)

Yay! Gotta go and try to find that fight scene now…

Join me in my suffering. I loved L so much ;-;

(But hey, don’t be too sad (what’s this? Is Evans actually COMFORTING Queen Luna for once instead of rubbing salt in the wound?!)! There’s always the book Death Note: Another Note (The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases)- it’s a prequel to the Death Note manga/anime with L chasing a murderer known as Beyond Birthday (…no comment on that alias). It also shows how he met Naomi Misora which is awesome if you like Naomi (I did, and kinda screamed when Light kiled her))

Eh, I think I’m one of the few people who doesn’t mind it being set in America because what’s the point of making an American adaptation if it’s going to be set in Japan anyway? I also don’t really have a problem with 'white-washing’ for this same reason (though I am disappointed because being Japanese-American would have added an interesting layer to Light’s character; despite fighting for justice, in canon, LIght’s never actually been victimized or discriminated against. He’s a handsome, intelligent young man who appears to be cisgender and heterosexual (even if it’s never confirmed) and is Japanese, just like everyone else around him. Japanese-American Light, on the other hand, would have really experienced how the 'rotten’ world could hurt people, so his acts as Kira might have more personal emotion in them)…like, it’s possible to cast a white actor as Light without it being white-washing, and since they changed the entire setting I think it’s fine to change other things too. Just, I’m cool with anything as long as they portrayed Light’s character properly…BUT THEY DIDN’T SO

I’m really just disappointed that they botched the characters and all the themes of the original Death Note story so badly. Sure, change the setting, change the circumstances, change the plot, changehe designs, but why did you have to take Death Note’s philosophy away?

But, because I might have been a bit too mean:

I will say that the movie LOOKS really good. The visuals are great. The soundtrack seems decent too. Also, though Ryuk’s motivations/role also weren’t done very well, Ryuk’s actor did an amazing job…and while I’m not happy with how L was portrayed in this movie, I do think that the actor they cast for him could have been a good L if not for the bad writing.

Well…from what I know, Light Turner ends up in a hospital at the end of the movie with his One True Love Mia(Misa) dead, so nah. The Keikaku failed.

(which just proves that Light Turner really is nothing like Light Yagami, because Light Yagami’s keikakus never fail.

Until the end of the Death note manga/anime, that is.)

Yeah, I know about SU’s terrible fandom, so I’m not going to actively participate in writing fanfic, drawing fan art or making HCs/theories with other people…I’m just gonna watch the show with my sister and look at pretty fanart XD

Tysm tho!

(Question: Which character do you think you are? And what kind of gem do you think you’d be?)

Aww, I’m so happy my awkward rambling actually made you feel better??? Like. Come on. You have no idea how much our convos helped me with anxiety and stress, so I have to thank you for that too <333

(And seriously, Queen Luna is amazing.)

For most people, they start going to elementary at seven (in international age) as far as I know, and then go to middle school at around thirteen. Then high school at…um…sixteen? Maybe? I’ve never really gone to school here so I might not be 100% correct but it’s something like that ^^;;

I really wanna try Mystic Messenger but since my phone is an old flip phone…I like my phone but sometimes this can be inconvenient LOL

(I’m totally fine with messaging here, but are you really ok with it? 'Cause if you’re not, we can try to work something else out!)

hi im luna and i wanna die.

HNNNNNNNNGH have i ever told you how much i hate school?  because i freaking hate school from the bottom of my heart i can’t feel my neck anymore from the amount of studying ive been doing that’s depressing.

anyway. heartfelt advice: do not fuck your stomach up in any way, because you will suffer if you do. take it from me, i’ve managed to develop this amazing thing called Gastritis and now i cant eat anything without getting the feeling that im gonna throw it back out which is absolutely wonderful. thankfully, i don’t throw up, but it’s freaking annoying and ive lost waay too much weight already. best part? the whole reason why i have it is apparently purely psychological,  too much stress. i got it in the middle of july. HOW my mom is also being INCREDIBLY helpful by basically telling me to ‘get over it’ like i can just snap my fingers and tell myself ‘oh yeah this is only in my head’ and it’ll all pass over. cause that’s how it works.  so is my sister by always laughing at me

oook moving on.

yep, school started and i am suffering. ive already gone through 4 tests and a bunch of oral quizzes. yay. thanks teachers for totally not putting horrible pressure on us from the start.  i stg, one of my most common thoughts these days is ‘see, this is exactly why i have a psychosomatic sickness.’ they’re sending my to a psychologist to see if i can let everything out and maybe get some advice on how to handle things better. i will laugh my ass off if i get diagnosed with a mental disorder. that’d be absolutely hilarious (I am in no way trying to make fun of people with a mental disorder, I’m just saying I honestly wouldn’t even be surprised if they said something like Burnout Syndrome or Depression (im not even joking when I say that I’ve been sleeping pretty much all afternoon + night these days, cry way too often, feel no motivation for anything, feel worthless, no apetite and also occasional suicidal thoughts which is oh so fun (ok but in my defence, the thoughts are really rare, probably caused by the fact that I feel nauseous like 90% of the time, and I would never ever do it, mostly because some people would miss me (I hope). there are moments when I go ‘wouldn’t it be easier to disappear?’ tho))

sorry about that rant

MOVING ON TO HAPPIER THEMES (and proper writing):

Yeah, Norway was truly gorgeous ^^ I don’t think I’ve ever felt more at peace than then. I fell asleep in the car at one point while watching the scenery outside, and it was one of the best sleeps in my life, despite being in the car. I’m glad you enjoyed them ^^ If you want, I can upload random pics like that every once in a whole.

Aaah, that’s pretty good reasoning! It makes a lot more sense now, thanks for explaining! 

Yeah, I kinda see why you’d ship it. Steve is a pretty understanding person and, like you said, would probably understand Loki the best ^^ Recommend me some fics and I might even start shipping it myself ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I LOVE T’CHALLA THANK YOU FOR ASKING YES.  I mean, he angery™, but also freaking cool! Not to mention crazily powerful *^* I’m pretty excited for his movie, cause more badassery from him!

Wow those sound like genuine memes. Seriously why can’t i draw XD

Also HIstory has its eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi will give me nightmares.

GODAMNIT I JUST WANT JUUZOU TO BE HAPPY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?? (apparently yes)

Yep, since I have all the volumes, I like to flip through them sometimes and I’m blown away every time by the development.  I also cosplayed the main character a while ago, so it holds a high sentimental value to me. But it is a lot lighter than your usual reads, true...

Well, uh, it’s kinda hard to explain? I mean, DTK is obsessed with symmetry and will go to crazy lengths to preserve it, get mad if someone disturbs it, will jeopardise missions if he’s not sure if he left something perfectly symmetrically at home etc, but it’s not so much as a mental illness as it is a consequence of who he is (part of the Grim Reaper)? Like i said, it’s really had to explain.

Did you manage to find the fight scene?

My reaction to Death Note in general:  FUCK YOU LIGHT YAGAMI. oooh, I’ll search that manga up!

Well, I’m not so much upset about the whitewashing, more about the fact that I feel like the japanese general ideology plays a big role in why light decided to start killing bad people? Idk how to explain it... 

Oh, Japanese-American Kira would’ve been a really interesting thing to see!

Yay, at least you found some good things? Well, it’s nice that you managed that ^^

Damnit, so it didn’t go according to Keikaku! It’s all because they didn’t include the potato chip scene.

Uuh, i don’t exactly remember much of SU, but I guess I’m most similar to Pearl? I didn’t really sympathise with any characters that much tbh. As for gem. Uuuuuh *quickly googles gem meanings* ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.  I like Zircon because of the colour and alexandrite because it changes colour which is incredibly cool!

Your rambling always makes me feel better tbh. It gives me a looong message from a friend I appreciate incredibly much so, yeah, I always smile when I see a message from you (even though my replies are so slooooooooow)

Aaah, I see! That’s pretty interesting ^^ Quite different from our system.

Ah, shame, you would’ve liked the most recent route, there is so so so much suffering.

Yeah, I am 100% fine!! Don’t worry about it! The reason why I suggested something else is because on sites w an instant messaging system, my replies would probably be a lot quicker,

I AM IN LOVE WITH THE AESTETHICS, ESPECIALLY LIZZY, THAT IS GOALS

and the drawings are adorable ^^ Hide tho ;-;

[decembercamiecherries]

I loved the Steven universe drabble thingy!!!!! I was... Wondering if you were ever going to write more. Cause I adored it.

This isn’t much but…well, it’s something. Thank you for your kind message anon I hope you enjoy~

This is a sequel to a gem au drabble I wrote back in October! Again the ideas for the hxh characters as gems come from @comic-hoodie’s art which can be found here!  In this au Killua is Sodalite, Gon is Carnelian, Gon&Killua Fusion is Agate, Bisky is Red Beryl  

Sodalite’s gem is blue, angular and smooth like his eyes, sprinkled with flecks of white that look like tiny stars against the navy depths within. It glimmers in the sunlight between curtains of silver bangs and Carnelian’s breath catches in his throat.

Sodalite’s gem is beautiful, just as beautiful as the day Carnelian first met the other gem, after he crashed into Earth in a stolen Kindergarten ship.

“Well?” came Sodalite’s grumble. Carnelian glanced down at his best friend and bit his bottom lip to keep himself from laughing aloud at the pout on Sodalite’s elegant face.

“It looks fine to me, Sodalite,” Carnelian answered honestly. 

“It doesn’t feel fine.”

Carnelian tilted his head to the side. “What do you mean? You don’t think it’s shat-”

“No!” Sodalite rushed to say. “No, of course not. It’s not like Red Beryl would do us that much damage. She still wants to teach us stuff, after all. But…”

“But?”

Sodalite shrugged moodily and some of his bangs slipped over his gem. “I dunno. ‘S weird.”

Carnelian hummed thoughtfully. He ran the tips of his rust-colored fingers over the azure gem and felt warmth swell in his chest as he watched it start to shine. Shocks of light broke across Sodalite’s pale blue skin like lightning, setting his whole body aglow.

Carnelian would never get tired of seeing that; Sodalite’s powers were amazing and incredible, and he loved feeling that power flicker through his limbs whenever they joined to become Agate.

Ah. 

“Y’know, Sodalite,” he began and the taller gem’s gaze flickered to his face. “Maybe it feels weird because we used up a lot of energy when we were Agate. That was the most power we’ve ever used.”

Sodalite looked away, but not before Carnelian spotted the blue blush spreading across sharp cheeks.

“I guess it could be that,” Sodalite muttered. He kicked his legs against the rock he was sitting on and Carnelian almost missed Sodalite’s quiet next words- “That was the longest we’ve ever been fused, too.”

Carnelian swallowed thickly. His ears burned and something was twisting and turning inside his chest. 

He thought about earlier that day, when he and Sodalite had fused for training on Red Beryl’s insistence. The rush of energy that came from becoming one gem out of two, the joy of being as close to Sodalite as he could ever be-

It was addicting. He hadn’t wanted it to end, to turn back to being a lonely, helpless carnelian. He wanted to bask in Sodalite’s life force forever and never be alone ever again.

So they’d fought Red Beryl as Agate. She forced them to unfuse- she was still stronger than them even with their powers pooled into a single source- and they’d been nearly delirious afterwards. Fighting, thinking, moving…all of that took so much concentration because he and Sodalite had to be in total agreement with how their body should move.

That had never really been an issue, though. Sodalite knew Carnelian better than Carnelian knew himself by now. Two hundred years was a long time to spend with each other but those two hundred years were the best in Carnelian’s entire existence.

“I’m kind of sad,” Carnelian admitted, letting his hand fall from Sodalite’s forehead and stepping away.

Sodalite frowned at him. He almost looked disappointed that Carnelian had let go of him when he asked, “What are you talking about? 

“I mean.” Carnelian dug the tip of his shoe into the sand. Waves crashed against the shore and seagulls called overhead.

He took a deep breath to fight down the butterflies in his stomach. “I mean, I was happy. Being with you, as Agate. I like being fused with you. It makes me feel…whole, somehow. I didn’t want us to separate.”

Sodalite made a choking sound. Carnelian lifted his head just in time to see Sodalite flush a deep, rich blue. His eyes darted everywhere but towards Carnelian and his nails scraped against the rock.

“D-Don’t say stuff like that! Seriously, how can you even admit something so- so-”

Carnelian doesn’t bother to fight the grin spreading across his lips. “So, what? Are you embarrassed, Sodalite, because you feel the same way? Hmmmm?”

“Shut up!” Sodalite snapped. “You already know the answer to that, dummy!”

Carnelian laughed freely, happily. He did know the answer. Agate had revealed as much Sodalite’s feelings as Carnelian’s when he had refused to split up.

“I’m glad,” Carnelian gasped and Sodalite’s thin eyebrows shot upwards. “I’m glad you agree with me, Sodalite.”

His best friend turned even darker, which Carnelian didn’t think was possible.

Sodalite stared down at the sand. “’Course I do. I-I don’t want to separate, either. But because of that….we probably shouldn’t fuse for a while.”

The air vanished from Carnelian’s lungs. “W-What? Why?!”

“You heard Red Beryl, it’s dangerous! We might never unfuse again!”

“Red Beryl doesn’t know everything!” 

“Carnelian.”

Sodalite’s tone made Carnelian’s words die in his mouth.

“We- we can’t,” Sodalite said and his voice shook. “We just. We can’t. I’m not saying it’s forever, but for right now it’s just not good for us.”

Sodalite’s eyes were pleading with him to understand, and Carnelian did. Really. But that didn’t mean he was happy with it.

“B-But-”

“There are tons of other ways of staying together,” Sodalite cut him off. He slowly reached out, curling long fingers around Carnelian’s red-tinted one. “We’ve been together for two hundred years, right?”

Carnelian’s mind flashed through two hundred years of bursting laughter, soft silver locks and beautiful, pure blue eyes and skin and gems-

“Yeah,” Carnelian said roughly, struggling to speak around the lump in his throat. He tightened his grip on Sodalite’s hand until his knuckles turned white. He can feel his own gem pulsing where it touched Sodalite’s cool skin.

Fusion wasn’t the answer. Not right now. But that was okay, as long as he and Sodalite stayed together in the end. That was all that mattered.

[softshouyous-archive]

1- Ok first off, ur just soo *smushes cheeks* adorbs!! 2ndly yea same, it just gives off that nostalgic feeling for some reason.. 3rdly yah ma boi shirou don't mess around lol. He just kept on moving their relationship forward each time they interact! It kept on progressing and the kiss shook my core! I think kiku's in his early 20s at most? But yeah his expressions make me sad, and there's def something more going on in regards to him overworking himself. I hope they find home in each other

2 - That’s most def a callout lmao im sorry!! But no worries tho i’m not judging. If anything i think u have commendable taste in fictional dudes; kurama’s a snacc. Anyways all three titles u mentioned are in my to watch later list! Once i do watch em i’ll let u knoe! And about natsume yuujinchou.. I like it bc it just exudes tranquility to me. Also, the first time i watched it i was just finishing high school and felt uncertain about a lot of things in life and it felt important to me then3 - the titular character natsume himself, and the way the supporting characters interact with one another (and their viewpoint about life) actually helped shape me into what i am today. Like, yknow how tohru from furuba makes us want to be kinder and more emphatic? Natsume inspires the same values in me as well. So yeah. Lol omg sorry for the corny and long take about natsume yuujinchou. I just have a lot of feelings 😂

hgkjdflhskgdfgkhj you’re so sweet omg thank you i’m warm ;____; and omg yes !!!! that’s the word i was looking for LOL i love it when authors can make you feel feelings like that!! i think it’s so interesting omgomg yeah?? i really like shirou’s personality! i’m not great at describing and interpreting charas ghkfd but i think he’s v funny and maybe bold?? i don’t know how to describe it but i like it gjdfgdkfg omg honestly the points where they almost kissed + the actual kiss SHOCKED ME????? 1. i was LIKE ?!?!? i know that the other person was sleeping at both points but like,,, what if they woke up????? hewwo???? that was not good for my heart ghfdgf and 2.  i totally did not expect any of that hgkjdflhsgjdfhgdfj they are pretty cute though, but i am worried that kiku might be in his 20s because shirou is probably around 15 or 16, and that is Quite an age gap 0: 

aaaa yeah ))): i was thinking and i think one of the possible factors may be that he feels really helpless and frustrated with not knowing anything about himself, so he feels like that’s a burden on shirou? since that’s the reason why he’s staying there. so maybe he feels like he has to help him as much as he can in order to compensate, so that may contribute to why he’s pushing himself?? 0: and maybe it might have to do with something from his actual self hm hm we’ll see ! omg no ghdfkjshgfdshgdfsgh don’t worry i was just joking!!!! you can totally say stuff like that, i found it funny LOL god he really is, he’s soooo beautiful omg,,, togashi didn’t have to go all out like that but here we are!!! oh and i meant to ask before, but have you watched yyh??? (no pressure though LOL)

oooo yay!!! they’re sooo good, i don’t think you’ll be disappointed!!!! mp100 is sooo amazing, i’m really glad i picked it up!!! it’s so heartwarming and hopeful, while also capable of making you feel a rollercoaster of emotions gfdgfj and tpn omg,,,, it’s So Much, but in a good way??? it’s so interesting and really keeps you hooked!!!! (also not to be that person, but one of the charas is voiced by the same va that voices killua gjkdfhgf) and kaze tsuyo omg i know it’s not as popular SADLY, but it’s. soooo good, i love the gradual ? progression and pacing of events and chara dev,,,, it’s so nice and inspirational like it actually made me want to run LOL o ywes i definitely get tranquil and gentle vibes from natsume! and don’t worry, it doesn’t sound corny at all, i’m really glad that it it had that effect on you and that it was able to help you through that time, as well as shaping you into who you are today! that def makes me want to watch it even more!! i’ll let you know when i start it, i just have a really bad habit of procrastinating anime for some reason hgfglfjkh

but omg?? you’ve watched fruits basket!?!?! please tell me your thoughts!!!!!!!

[wonderlandmonkeypuzzle]

Ace!Gon AU

Since it’s Valentine’s day, I think it’s a good time to share my ACE! Gon AU!

I made/developed it with @canzie-gumm, it’s probably a mess and barely developed, but we thought it was cute and what better time to share it than a love day?

So, it’s modern day setting, college ages.

Gon’s built and kind and just an all around pakage, and you know with how affectionate he is, people often mistake his kindness as interest.

It pains him (not really, he doesn’t understand why they’re so quick to jump on anyone who shows them any kind of day, ((its kinda pathetic really))) to tell others, he’s not interested, its not them, he just doesn’t like them like that, and no, he doesn’t have a type. This goes on for a bit to the point the whole college (it’s pretty small) knows and understand Gon is Ace and he’s just being nice!

Then enters [Killua] stage left. He’s a new student transferred in, and coming into the lecture hall he shares with Gon, Gon feels some kind of way he doesn’t understand. There’s just this cool looking guy checking in with the teacher up front, blue eyes like ice and ocean and sky all at one time, and white hair (messy hair, don’t care) like marshmallows and clouds (is it obvious I love Killua yet?)

He follows Killua with his eyes as he walks to the back of the room. Now, Killua’s gay (OBVIOUSLY), and he felt intense eyes on him since he entered the classroom, and scanning the room, he sees Gon looking at him. Now he’s shook, cause that guy’s gorgeous and he’s looking at him! But he knows (from way too much experience back at his old school) that he should just go around flirting with anyone he thinks is interested in him, he’s learned to keep to himself about being gay until he knows for certain. But the look he’s giving him is unnerving, so he tries to ignore it as he goes to the back.

Gon still follows him with his eyes, twisting in his seat to keep the exposure to this pale skinned male, and he ends up swooping up everything he has with him in his seat and following him to the back. Sitting down next to him (still openly staring) Gon says, “Hi.”

Killua cautiously follows with a “Hi” of his own, but stills tries to seem cold so Gon gets the hint. Gon doesn’t (OBVIOULSY) and goes on.

“I’m Gon.”

Killua considers and finally, “I’m Killua.” He kinda waits for Gon to continue and say something, but all he does is stare and Killua can no longer help the blush on his face, and he goes, “WHAT?!”

Gon, the honest boy he is, (bless him) goes, “You’re gorgeous.” And Killua dies

[The end, Gon goes to jail for murder, never even having been able to woo the only person who caught his interest, J/K! Keep reading] and class starts

As soo as class ends, Killua books it, leaving behind everything, convinced he could just go back and get it later when the boy with the bright eyes aren’t there. But lo and behold, Gon finds him on campus and, with a shy smile, offers the things Killua left.

“You left these!”

“Haha… thanks…” Killua says with a helpless chuckle. What was he suppose to do? Was this guy interested or just friendly. He’ll still keep to himelf. If this guy want to be friend, he can do that… right?

Other classmates see this, and decided to give Killua fair warning, “Yea, Gon’s ace, every knows this, he’s probably just being nice, don’t get your hopes up, blah blah blah” ETC and Killua’s like, “Yea, see, it’s good I didn’t react to his feelings, I would have made a fool of myself”

But haha, don’t pretend like you know Gon! He’s always trying to woo Killua. Killua’s unnerved, because it’s /GON/ and he’s gorgeous but he doesn’t wanna get his hoes up, one time, he says “I have a boyfriend” and Gon get’s unknown feelings number 2) Jealousy.

It doesn’t unnerve him, he tries harder while also trying to figure out who Killua’s boyfriend is, (Haha, this is where the shannagins and funny stuff comes up in fanfic stories (( BTW, I plan on making one eventually (((says the girl with a million half finished other projects)))))

[This is the part where we made up a happy ending, but it could totally be open to more interpretations, head cannons, and more storylines!]

They get paired up for a project where they get to know each other better, staying in the library from 6pm to 1am just talking and working on it, and then when they finish it early (since they worked on it steadily everyday) they were just kinda like… “ah… there goes my excuse to stay up with you everyday…!”

So Killua corners him and is like “Listen! I like you, and you’re sending me mixed messages, apparently you’re ace, I don’t know what to think, just… turn me down if this isn’t gonna happen!”

And Gon’s like, “Killua, I’ve never been interested in anyone, no one’s ever caught my eye. Then I met you, and I’ve never felt this way. Killua, won’t you go out with me?" Or something cuter or sweeter than that, I’m no Gon, and that’s that!

Ace!Gon AU

(Please don’t get mad because I made him ace and then made him like someone, it was just a cute concept he wouldn’t like anyone before Killua.)

[todokori-kun]

AYYYYY

I’M SO. FREAKING. GLAD YOU’RE BACK <3333 (I feel really stupid for this because I KNOW Queen Luna’s told me like a dozen times that if you’re not answering, it’s probably because of the internet…but ugh, Evans is an idiot who  still keeps having mini panic attacks over late replies XD like, I almost sent a 'did I say something wrong' message before I took a deep breath and realized how hecking stupid that would sound lol)

You’re welcome! They really do look amazing, though <3 I’ve also been working on aesthetics but eh. Idk, really. I made a barely-tolerable Saiko/Urie one, and then one for one of the Love Interests in that Otome Game I mentioned (not The Blind Griffin; the original thing I was working on)…which actually looks nice, but guess what? I could only find four pictures that matched with the color scheme/themes I’d picked out OTL

And tysm <333 ;-; but seriously, Mikasa is such a Zoldyck. Like, what if she and Illumi switched places. It’s like “Killua, you are my favorite sibling, I’ll follow you anywhere and protect you from everything” and “Eren you have a duty to your family (AKA me) please, stop playing the hero and come back here”

Actually I feel like Killua would be a lot happier with Mikasa for an older sibling instead of Illumi. Like, Zoldyck!Mikasa would probably be just as messed up as Illumi, but if we’re talking about canon Mikasa…let’s be honest. If Killua wanted to be a hunter she’d make sure he’d pass the test by any means necessary. If Killua wanted to get away from their family and explore, then sure, she’d order the butlers to let him out. If Killua’s friends came to visit and Mrs. Zoldyck/the servants refused to let them in, Mikasa would storm out there and open the gates herself. If the rest of the family went too far I really think she'd be perfectly willing to stab them all in the back, throw Killua over her shoulder, resign from her job as an assassin and walk right out of there.

Only Eren would be miserable. Illumi would probably do an even better job of keeping him ‘safe’ than Mikasa did (unlike Mikasa Illumi is perfectly willing to manipulate loved ones to keep them by his side), but…yeah. It’s Illumi. How could Eren be happy?

I KNOW. THE HAMILTON FEELS. (if you’d like I could send you more letters? I’ve managed to find quite a few….

Also idk if this is even true, but do you know about the relationship between Angelica and TJeffs (apparently they were friends and Jefferson may have been pining over Angelica, just a bit)? So I heard that Angelica slapped him so hard one time that he refused to go to any parties after that if he heard she was there too.

He also became terrified of Eliza as well…

Again, idk if this is true but I sorta want it to be lol)

Like, ok, maybe Eliza doesn’t get to truly shine until That Would Be Enough, and maybe Peggy comes off as simple comic relief to some people, but…HOW CAN YOU LISTEN TO 'THE SCHUYLER SISTERS’ AND NOT BE IMPRESSED BY ANGELICA FREAKING SCHUYLER

Nope nope nope nope rewind rewind

How does the bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a 

Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten

Spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor,

Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

seriously? Because I broke a lot of stuff too XD There’s only one 100% undamaged glass item in this house that belongs to me, and that’s the last snow globe, the only one I somehow haven’t smashed yet. I don’t even touch it anymore because I’m scared of breaking it lol

And aww that sounds so sweet! Weirdly enough I could destroy my own clothes and doodle all over my skin but I never had the guts to do anything to my dolls…I was tempted to give them haircuts several times but I knew mom would probably freak out if she saw doll hair all over the floor so.

Yeah, tbh I have no idea what happened there either. As for blood…well, I got used to nosebleeds as a kid. Like, a ton of blood would randomly come pouring out of my nose all the time and I didn’t even care; just like 'oh welp there it all goes…dad can you pass me a tissue?’. I also don’t mind 'messier’ injuries like scraped knees. But bruises and cuts really, REALLY bother me for some reason ;-;

Oh. Oh dear.

Um, um, um. What is that. I’m never reading this manga. It will make me suffer.

(I wonder if you’re talking about Erza/Jellal? If not, sorry ^^;;)

Feel free to show me the chapter if you want to, though! I’ll try my best to figure out what’s going on :D

Schwing *insert lenny face here*

I finally found the OPM volumes! I’m gonna do my best to catch up with both that and HxH :) (that thing with Saitama, the smol child and the snow monsters at the end of volume 1 is like the cutest thing ever in my eyes. Idk. Maybe I’m just weird?)

I mean, Roma ate Urie so. We’re in for one heck of a ride…

I tried my best, but weirdly, CP hasn’t been working very well for me the last few days…it keeps crashing. I’m really sorry OTL But I’m trying to fix it and I think it’ll work now!

nononononononononono don’t you dare write any more HCs Queen Luna please spare me

Oooh, can’t wait to see your reaction :D

That sounds amazing! Wishing you luck with finding more people to do it with you- I’m sure it’ll turn out great! Tell me how it turns out later, please??? <3

(also I’ll be sending you some HxH character pics, mostly of my problematic favs…hope that’s ok ^^ (tbh I’m mostly trying to get you to join me in my Adultrio (Illumi/Chrollo/Hisoka trio) obsession. Also my love for Leorio and Gon))

No, no, don’t worry about it!! Seriously, I felt so bad, because I’d be in the middle of watching something (USBs were my lord and saviour) and think ‘Omg I gotta tell Evans about this’ and then look up and think ‘wait when was the last time I had net for long enough to answer?’ Then I’d get depressed XD

Aaah, also, telling you in advance this time, on Thursday we’ll be traveling, so I probably won’t be able to answer for 10ish days ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; I feel like crap OTL

Ayyy thank you so much!!!  I get your struggle with colours XD It can be really hard ;-; I usually try to get 8 pics, but end up with 6. 

I finally saw some pics of Illumi and I get what you mean by ‘dead fish eyes’. Just, I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen a character so bored. 

If only, if only... Tbh, Mikasa would be an amazing sibling figure. She’d make sure that her sibling is happy and if there was someone who made them NOT happy, then she’d return the favour.  I say Killua needs a lost big sis who is pretty much Mikasa XD

Well,,, let’s say Mikasa AND Eren switch places with Illumi? But then we’re dooming pretty much everyone in the AoT universe... Poor Armin XD

BRING ON THE LETTERS

AHAHAHAHAHAH I completely understand Jeff XD Weren’t they rumoured to have had an affair?  That’s amazing XD Just what did the slap have to be like to make a grown man afraid of being in the same room as you. Can you imagine what would’ve happened if he didn’t hear Angelica would be there, though? Like, he walks in and sees her.

WADDAYA MEAN ELIZA DOESN’T SHINE TILL THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH??? WHAT ABOUT HELPLESS??  And, true, you don’t know the awesomeness of Peggy unless you know the history, but damn, she was a freaking badass.  Thankfully, Satisfied did make them go ‘damn’, mostly the rap parts XD

The ten-dollar Founding Father without a father Got a lot farther by working a lot harder By being a lot smarter By being a self-starter By fourteen, they placed him in charge of a trading charter

Ahahah, that’s completely understandable XD Now that I look around my room, the only glass item which is not a lamp, is a small vial that stands on a shelf I never touch. Maybe that’s why it survived my childhood XD

Nope, the dolls looked like nightmare fuel if my sister didn’t help XD I knew ever since I was a kid that I could never be a make up artist or a hair stylist... Tbh I never had any remorse about cutting their hair, and since my sister was there as well, she taught me to always throw the hair away/do it above a trash can. 

Well, I have to blow my nose a lot (I get sick really often), so I also get nosebleeds every once in a while, but I’m still not used to them.

ALRIGHTY THEN I am totally uploading the last chapter then XD

Yep, it’s Erza and Jellal. Wait, how do you know that??

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yaay!! I’ll have to read the rest as well XD

SHE WHAT S H E   W H A T

Ah, that’s a shame... don’t worry about it though!! 

The thing is, every time I ask someone for advice on how to start a group every time, all they tell me is ‘go to cons and find cosplayers’. It’s literally the only advice I’ve received.  The problem? Nearest cons are in Germany. And that’s not exactly nearby. Even if I did go and found LL cosplayers, what are the odds they’re Croatian? It’s honestly so frustrating.  I’ll just practice dances on my own, and if I find someone who likes it, great! If not, then whatever. 

Oh boy, let’s get to the pics!

Gon really does seem like a cinnamon roll! I wanna adopt him XD

Omg I already love Leorio! Like wow, he seems extra, but nice under all that? Rumpel no2

I wanna adopt Killua as well XD He seems like the sweetest sunshine child out there

Tbh when i saw Pika, I thought he was a girl. Whoops. Also, tragedy™

I see Chrollo becoming my problematic fave XD Also, he with his hair down ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Aww, that’s nice! I hope she enjoys it!

DOn’t remind me of that ep XDDD Remember when I said a while ago that I was watching Sherlock? I watched The Reichenbach Fall. You should’ve seen me during Watson’s speech at his grave.

1am, not wearing pants, stuffing my face with pancakes while crying.  Why does it seem like 1am, no pants is my default mode XD

Yes, Illumi certainly has beautiful eyes. I feel compelled to gouge them out and decorate my room with them.

Also, idk if you’ve noticed but I’m slowly reviving scenarios on ice!! I missed that blog, so I wanna go back to writing for it ^^