#i really thought yaz was gonna shoot the master :

[frogmascquerade]

Potd spoilers in the tags :D

[forest-of-cheem]

my initial reaction to the power of the doctor was… well. bloody loving every single minute of it.

now that i’ve had some time to think it all over…

(under the cut because spoilers!!)

thirteen

this really did feel like such an excellent send-off for her.

she might well have made my favourite regeneration scene of new!who. the way she was so desperate for more time… but in the end, went into the sunrise with peace and happiness, and no regrets except wanting to know what comes next… and the visuals, on the clifftop with light shooting off in all directions…

the AI hologram!! i love that it was responsive rather than just reeling off the standard “if you’re seeing this, then i’m dead” message.

i love how expressive whittaker is. just. her face is doing so much, all the time, and it’s brilliant.

yaz

she’s come so far…

watching her pilot the tardis with her notes!! and even being able to catch ace as she was plummeting from the top of a building!!

i love her literally shoving the master to the ground and taking the tardis with her.

not to mention the way she fooled his ass, and forced him out of the doctor.

she carried the doctor!! yaz really stepped up and said i will be the goddamn hero today!!

i get the sadness over no thasmin kiss, but i guess. to me it makes sense, in a way. it’d be more painful for them to have some intimacy now when 13 is right on the brink of regenerating. and i’m a sucker for a tragic romance.

especially when new!who has only really seen two doctor/companion couples get romantic kisses in its entire run - 11/river, and 10/astrid. (yes, rose kisses tentoo, but he’s part donna, so i would argue it doesn’t entirely count.)

idk. what i’m trying to say is: romantic associations with the doctor rarely end well, for multiple reasons. that we got explicit confirmation of 13 and yaz’s mutual feelings at all is enough for me.

the master

dhawan is the best new!who incarnation of the master and i will die on that hill

inserting himself into all of those paintings was so uncalled for and so unnecessary, and i loved it

ra ra rasputin… artistic poetry. a masterpiece of the screen.

the master wearing 13’s outfit?? i am half-feral. i need more of it.

not trying to be rude, but i genuinely don’t get the people complaining that his plan/motives were too confusing/unclear. like… it was pretty clear to me…

“don’t make me go back to being me” i WILL cry.

playing the recorder when yaz abandons him…

and the way he squealed when the elevator doors closed on the way down to the bunker?? this episode really said here’s all the things you never knew you wanted sacha dhawan to do.

he was delightfully unhinged throughout this entire episode. if rtd doesn’t bring him back, it’ll be a damn crime.

fourteen

look, i love 10. he’s my favourite doctor. but i am… conflicted about his return.

for one thing, i simply refuse to refer to him as 14 when that’s supposed to be ncuti gatwa!!

also, 13 leaves full of optimism and excitement, and then the first trailer for next year sounds all gloomy and severe?? i’m not feeling it.

also, i already feel like those specials simply will not compare to POTD. this was THE anniversary special for me, and it wasn’t even really intended as such. this ep had old doctors and companions alike, and so far the 60th is three episodes of… 10 and donna. and that’s it.

some of my bitterness here may well be the fact that i’m already sick and tired of seeing people all ~hooray the boring mediocre woman is gone it’s time for my favourite MAN doctor, yay, doctor who is saved!!~ like. shut the fuck up already.

everything else

no surprise that dan left, but tbh i feel like that could have been reworked into him leaving at the end of the preceding ep. it feels weird having him only at the very beginning and then near the end.

gonna be honest, before this ep i thought kate stewart was a perfectly decent character, but simply didn’t care much about her. but she was excellent in this episode, and now i definitely want to see more of her!!

the group for past companions is such a fantastic idea and i’m amazed it’s not been done before. everything about that bit was perfect. and it was so cool seeing classic companions! even if i didn’t have any real idea who they were!

this episode is gonna be what makes me watch classic who. i tried several years ago but… i got bored halfway through the second episode. keep meaning to go back, but i never have. now i definitely intend to.

on that note, i thought this was a great introduction to ace and tegan. their bits with the AI hologram were very sweet and have left me really wanting to see their classic stories.

i really thought vinder was gonna be the timeless child daddy, and instead. he was just there. he helped yaz, fair enough, but what was he even there for in the first place?? are he, bel and karvanista investigating alien shenanigans too now??

me, pretending to be shocked when graham arrives, despite having known for months about that set photo circulating of him and dan together…

all in all, this was a top-notch episode for me. my only quibbles are with dan’s early exit, and vinder’s presence feeling a bit random… and tennant’s return that may or may not go down well next year. idk. i have faith in rtd to deliver a fantastic era, but i have my doubts as to whether this is the way to kickstart it.

all else aside, jodie whittaker and mandip gill have made one of my favourite tardis teams, and sacha dhawan has cemented his place as my favourite master. and despite most of my actual predictions for this ep being wrong, i was right about this: it was chaotic, it was heartbreaking, and it was wonderful.

[famdommcfanface]

My thoughts on the new episode of doctor who because I have too many of them. Warning: will be very long and also just for me. You can look if you like I guess.

Oh yeah the weird house. What’s that about?

Every interraction between the doctor and Yaz is very queer. As in gay, not as in weird.

Huh. Earth. The redcoats are on earth. You don’t say.

MARY!!!

Why does all Chibnall period clothing kind of look the same? In the same way that crystal guy looks just like Tzim Sha really.

I also know where you are because IT’S MARY SEACOLE

Yeah I know

Look at that ugly ass bitch. SONTAR-HA!

I do love these credits though. I can say what I like about the Chibnall era but the theme is a banger.

Cannot remember at all what is happening with this dude.

I love these little triangle dudes. Hope they stick around.

Is that Gallifrey? Was it the Flux, or was it the Master? Who are you, bitch???

Am I meant to understand the flux at this point. Like at all. Even the impact it has on the universe. I have no idea.

Yeah Dan she’s Mary Seacole.

*Horrible histories voice* WELCOME TO THE BRITISH HOTEL

Look Dan’s new cut him some slack.

I need a parallel between this and both the ‘promise?’ ‘promise’ bit with Bill and Heather and the eleventh doctor telling Amy he’ll find her before she melts.

WHY? WHY ARE YOU HOME? WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING RN DAN?

Why’s everyone just already looking out onto the street.

This bit gives me big journey’s end vibes. Why do aliens love imposing curfews so much?

Love that they’ve kept the sontaran ship design. Would prefer if they kept the sontaran design, but hey.

Dan’s parents want to be as interesting as Donna’s family so bad. I’m sorry.

Oh him. We gonna find out what the fuck’s going on with him? No? Okay.

How do you define very?

He talks so Victorian. Like really fucking Victorian. Kinda love it.

Triangle!

Yes, what would the doctor do. Bit on the nose, but whatever. You really didn’t have to have her write that on her hand.

Okay but I kinda like the general. He’s one of the best characters this episode that’s probably a bad thing.

This is a war, Doctor. What do you really expect them to be doing? Just waiting to be attacked? I don’t really know what you think is happening.

What does this mean? They never really explain this. How have the Sontarans always been here?

Is this just to point out that Mary is Jamaican? Like, what’s the point of the Doctor pointing out Jamaica on the map? I know Mary Seacole is Jamaican, and if I didn’t it kind of wouldn’t matter.

I love the general. I’m sorry.

The Doctor never actually did any nursing rounds. Would have liked to see that. I don’t know, do something practical.

Yes, we get it, you don’t have to drill into the ground how much of a good person Mary Seacole is. You can maybe do it through subtler means CHRIS?

STRAX! I know it’s not Strax, but I didn’t expect the actor to come back.

Oh that’s a proper Sontaran. He knows how to do it.

I miss Strax. I also miss this guy being in like all of it.

I know he’s just citing the shadow proclomation to make specifically me happy but also I am happy so...

Oh yeah she was president of Gallifrey for a bit wasn’t she.

Chris can you please stop with your ham-fisted dialogue.

STRAX! Sorry I love him so much.

General! Don’t shoot Strax!

Dan Starkey. That’s it. I do love Dan Starkey.

Mary where is your hat.

I wish the Doctor did actually act as Mary Seacole’s assistant sometimes (it would be an interesting dynamic) rather than just bossing around a real and historically important figure? Byron just following her around with heart eyes? Fine. Mary Seacole just doing as she’s told and kind of acting as inferior to the doctor? Eh, I don’t like it. Sorry.

WHY? WHY WOULD YOU REQUEST MERCY? THAT’S NOT EVEN HOW SONTARANS WORK?

So Sontar-Ho is like a somber Sontar-Ha? I guess I could get behind that.

Oh I kind of thought they’d always been here like in Crimea.

Unrealistic that Dan can remember their name because I still call them dogs.

HOW WOULD SHE KNOW THEY’RE CALLED PROBIC VENTS THAT’S A TECHNICAL NAME THAT CAN’T JUST BE INTUITED.

Like okay Dan’s parents are kinda interesting but Chris just keeps adding characters and I kind of just can’t keep them all in my head.

I think I know what triangle means.

Haha lol go on shoot her.

If these guys have some sort of romantic connection I’m going to fuck a bitch up. And that bitch is Chris Chibnall.

She’s not police anymore, right? Whatever.

Haha you fucking madman triangle.

Mmm exposition time. Oh wait I don’t understand any of this exposition. Kinda pointless then.

Also obviously assigned by the time lords I get it. Controlling time and all that, totally their kind of thing.

Is it treason if you’re not a sontaran. I don’t think so buddy.

Ooh I get it but also it’s kinda just confusing okay.

Sontarans are so fucking blind.

Does the Doctor have to do that exact pose every season?

The Doctor has not been using her sonic enough. If you don’t want her to have a sonic, that’s fine! She doesn’t, sometimes. But if it’s going to be there can she use it please.

Yeah geez he’s fucking ugly can we have better sontaran design please.

I kinda love this guy. ‘You deceived my soldier’ lol brilliant.

Yeah I think I’m meant to understand what that means.

Is that a third doctor reference? I don’t know, I haven’t seen that one.

That’s it. That’s the best line this episode. Probably the best line this series. Probably for all of Chibnall.

Okay but this woman actually shouldn’t be speaking for humanity? She’s not human and has not consulted any humans on this. The only human who is here should probably be speaking for them, even if he’s a fucking idiot.

This random soldier is now called Ross. Fuck you.

Yeah why is there cloth on the sontaran uniforms? That seems like not very sontaran idk.

Wow the doctor did not notice the entire British army behind her huh.

Ah poor ol’ Ross. Shame he doesn’t get any lines.

Yeah not necessarily Doctor. They might kill him.

The sontarans really need better security. Dan is just a dude. Who is, I’d say, worse than most people would be about sneaking into alien spaceships. Just running across open land and shit.

What is it with Chris and cranes.

Sexy crystal people! She’s got such a great voice. They both do. Oh my god I love his jacket. I would die for either of them.

This is such a boring scene. People I don’t know are just being shot with no way of fighting back. Great.

Wow really forgot about Mary Seacole there.

HALF A LEAGUE HALF A LEAGUE HALF A LEAGUE ONWARD INTO THE VALLEY OF DEATH RODE THE FIVE HUNDRED knew my English GCSE would be good for something

Okay but I’m actually glad he isn’t dead.

That’s actually one hell of a dress Mary’s wearing I wish we saw more full-body shots of it.

I like to think the Doctor just straight-up murdered that sontaran there

They really need to fix that any human can get through any sontaran door.

That was a very lucky button.

This is tiring. Sorry Chris.

Why do I lowkey love that John Bishop is actually a bad actor.

This is a bad joke and I hate it. Sorry. I know he’s stupid but hey.

Dan stop sending dick pics challenge.

Why though? What is the sontaran motivation? I do not understand sorry, other than they kinda just decided they wanted to.

WHO IS USING THIS FREQUENCEEYYYY

I like to think Dan also just murdered a dude there.

I like the wok pun

I also like the ‘just looking for the pier head’ thing.

Damn these fucking guys. I would do anything for you. I’m falling in love I swear to god I’m sorry.

Wow let’s make the already over-shown thing even more obvious. Something you could just show through actions.

Chris stop having a choking fetish challenge.

‘any of you’ is just there for the no homo.

If you fall in love with Yaz I stg.

These fucking... oh my god I love them.

NO! TRIANGLE! AZURE I TRUSTED YOU!

I think he does, sorry Yaz.

No I’ve been over this he’s human he cannot do treason.

They just keep not killing Dan.

*Deep breath* Okay but Dan and dog boy have so much enemies to lovers potential, they have a kind of soulmate thing going on and I know they’ll bond and I think dog boy will die and Dan will cradle his dying body and it’ll be strangely homoerotic and Chris why are you doing this to us I don’t want to ship Dan with a dog but you’re leaving me no choice.

THAT LITTLE SMILE I’M GOING TO FUCKING DIE

Yeah we been knew sorry Mary.

General! Woop!

Also need a gif comparison between the doctor needing a pointy stick and Missy’s pointy stick.

I love the general

This doesn’t make any sense though. The sontaran in comfinement was resting away from the spaceship. I might just not understand this but maybe I should understand this idk.

Please don’t patronise fucking Mary Seacole like that Chris.

I don’t know enough about horses sorry.

Yaz is your best person Doc fuck off.

WHY WOULD THEY ALL SLEEP AT ONCE

I don’t understand this plan. I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense (it might idk) but I have no idea what’s happening and I think I should? I’m sorry? Chris buddy?

I love the general’s hat.

No idea buddy.

STRAX

I hope Dan carries around the wok the whole series.

This is... this is so gay. I hate this. Why are you gay you motherfuckers.

I swear she cut one pipe and now none of the spaceships have any supplies that was very quick.

I thought his name was Staak.

I do not understand that plan either but that kind of doesn’t matter.

God Sontarans are such bad shots in that one scene.

What does that do? Though? How does that work?

That is just not how fuses work.

Idk maybe the general should blow up all the sontarans. Just a thought. Strax is already dead anyway so.

Is Mary coming back? I really hope Mary comes back.

She’s actually talking to the TARDIS for once, that’s nice.

DO SONTARANS SHIT THOUGH??? I MUST KNOW??? ALWAYS KIND OF ASSUMED THEY DIDN’T?

I want dog man to be a companion.

Stop being so FUCKING gay.

Oh this is a companion moment. Thing is, there’s loads of recurring characters this series, so Dan isn’t really any more important than any other character, so what really makes him a companion???

FUCKING GAY

Ugh Chris why do you rely on luck so much. I don’t even know if this is luck but the point stands.

No space or time. Because usually there’s like 100 space. And at least 3 time.

Those sexy motherfuckers. Look at that fucking jacket. The passenger can fuck off.

Is the doctor going to end up being a mori or some shit? I don’t like that. That wouldn’t make sense but I don’t put anything against Chris.

Don’t give a shit about her new friend sorry hun.

Yaz will be fine though we know. If she turns out to be an immortal alien or something I would find that very funny although I know that won’t happen.

Once, upon time? Really? How many plays on once upon a time can you make? I know the other one wasn’t Chris but it was just a bit too recent to do another one.

[upslapmeal]

Spyfall Pt. 1

BANGER OF AN OPENER ok let’s get into them reactions

cold open!

I missed cold opens in s11

why have the fam been missing for periods of time back at home when they literally time travel

the Doctor still having bad memories of trying to get Rose back to the exact moment she left?

is this the first time we’ve seen the doctor fiddling with the internal bits of the TARDIS from the outside like this?

water slides! rainforest floor!

‘in 5 seconds: die’ I mean that’s just another day with a satnav

‘I’d be a great spy, I’d just blend in’ ah but Graham what about the other key spy components: running away from explosions and smoothly ordering cocktails

Stephen Fry!

'you actually do exist’ cue Graham starting to doubt the possibility of his own existence

'they’re not toys Graham’ 'no they’re not and if you say other wise I will shoot you with my laser shoe’ ACTUAL CHILDREN lmao

so uh. VOR is Google right? or Amazon?

is this ep trying to seek forgiveness for Kerblam

(which I did enjoy but is a bit yikes when you start to think about it)

‘UNIT! even Torchwood!’ 

the emphasis on even since somehow that welsh disaster gang managed to get stuff done occasionally

also RIP UNIT and Torchwood I mean after London’s many alien invasions you’d have thought they’d have at least kept someone keeping an eye on the whole alien thing

does Thirteen have 2 phones? or was she just borrowing Yaz’s iphone?

well RIP Stephen Fry

the entire time the Aussie agents were searching outside the house all I could think was why did the Doctor land the TARDIS so far from the house!! it’s just out there! how will they get away if they have to!

'I’d be a great brother in law' 

Yaz!! she’s been light alien absorbed!

love how genuinely tense this ep is

and I love the design of that weird forest-y place Yaz was sent

alien and terrifyingly isolated

'I thought I was dead’ 'I’m never gonna let that happen to you’ uh. this will be their second series as companions so let’s hope that’s not some nice early foreshadowing :)))

'we’ve tried to ask but she just changes the subject’ ok glad it’s looking as though the Doctor’s purposely been hiding her past

ooh that tantalising shelf of info

O seems very familiar and I can’t remember if the time he met the Doctor was in the show

WAIT no he was Waris Hussein in An Adventure In Space And Time that’s where I know him from

'there’s no match’ Doc why are you using a laptop to do this surely the TARDIS will get jealous

love the bond-esque score, nice work Akinola

'blend in’ your time has come Graham bc that’s something the Doctor has never been good at

Thirteen being threatening yess

imagine Thirteen getting shot and full on regenerating mid chase

I mean it would be useful in terms of being undercover and not being recognised

…

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT!! WHATT!!!!!!!! W H A T

it’s the Master?????? 

did we have any idea this was coming???? I feel as though they’ve kept this very well hidden since I’ve not seen anyone mention the Master may be back this series

BETRAYED BY WARIS HUSSEIN

shrunken O in the matchbox is very The Faceless Ones

especially combined with them being on a plane

now I just want to know how long the Master just had to pretend to be an agent

I mean they’ve done the long term thing back when they were Harold Saxon but still

and yeah ok people are saying this ruins Missy’s arc but guys

it’s the Master

this character is 90% pure evil schemes did we really expect that arc to stick?

my one complaint about the ep? A SEVERE LACK OF SCRONCH

glad we don’t have to wait a full week for Spyfall 2 Electric Boogaloo, are we thinking those 4 morse code beeps in the trailer = the Master’s drum beats?

[anteroom-of-death]

Life, For Dummies p2

a/n: quarentine’s brought out the worst in me, does anyone know anything anymore? idk... i hope you all enjoy part 2! part 3′s got the spice in my mind’s plotting... slow burn anyone???

It had been roughly a week since you’d join the Master on his TARDIS. It was cozier and the console room was an actual room, like a living room. Sure it had all the little knobs and a control center, but it had a mini kitchen and couches and soft chairs. As well as whatever books he had been reading at the moment. 

Homey. Comforting even.

Today’s adventure was less relaxing than his first he brought you on: A spa planet. Three whole days of being rubbed down, being fed gorgeous tasting health foods and relaxation. Closest to being a dog that chills in a rich socalite’s handbag all day. He of course, joined you in these revelries, and you even joined him as he made little jokes about other species' appearances and gossip.

This time was him killing off an entire planet for a Empress’s cheek. He offered you pour over coffee and a Danish as he giggled over the ash filling the air from an Adirondack chair as you tried to mentally stop yourself from crying over this. You, Y/N, were here with a genocidal maniac and you should really get a grip. You signed up for this. Anything you saw was your own fault, you told yourself as you cautiously took the coffee from the man and sat next to him.

“I can tell you’re thinking, love.” He said, “Why don’t say what’s on your mind? Hmm?” 

“Why me?” You tore your eyes away from the sight of a giant building falling downwards on itself. “You could have taken Yaz or Ryan or hell, even pick some schlub off the streets!”

He raised his hand and raised his voice. “So the Doctor’s the only one who can take a pet or two or more?” His eyebrows raised, there he was, always sprinkling in the word “pet” usually it brought a shiver down your spine. But not today. Not now.

You huffed and groaned, rubbing your finger into your eye, “No, Master-” you said the word as if it wasn’t your kink, but a derogatory term. “Why me? What do you expect? Huh? You’re gonna go after her one day and I will be there, looking like a traitor or a double agent or what the fuck ever, and here I am, getting attached to you and I’ve just seen you nuke a fucking civilization? I’ve never seen that happen besides like, footage of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.” You manually stopped him with a raised hand and all the venom you could shoot from your eyes. “I can’t yet reconcile friendships! It’s like eighth grade all over again and Tammy doesn’t like Britney and Britney is friends with Joe but Joe like likes Tammy and Joe’s just over here wanting to blow his brains out!” You gesticulated this flowchart of emotional entanglement before slamming down the coffee and deciding to slam the TARDIS door shut. You didn’t want an answer anymore. You accidentally revealed too much. 

You didn’t know what you felt anymore.

Sure, the man was hotter than your wildest fantasies of what a hot person could look like, and the name was enough to bring out any other types of fantasies you could have. It’s not like you weren’t already shaking off dirty thoughts about him and various pieces of furniture in here. 

The Master frequented between slightly soft and vulnerable to ready to kill off anyone. That wasn’t the most stable of mindsets.

You began shaking where you stood. What if he was now going to kill you? You were a lot more disrespectful than the Empress was. Your breathing became erratic and there was a definite lump in your throat forming. This, out of all the ways you thought death would come to you, especially since Time Lords entered your life, wasn’t how you expected to die. 

He slammed open the door and you let out a scream before dissolving into hysterics. The scrap of dignity you had left told you not to beg for your life. 

For a split minute you tried to gather yourself up and over before getting back up and spitting through your tears, “Kill me, go ahead, I dare you to!” Your breathing sped up as your heart slammed, threatening to break your rib cage. You were so close to pissing yourself as you scrunched up your eyes, you didn’t want to see your death or the man before you shrinking you to dinky size. 

Would it hurt? You thought as you mentally started internerising all you hadn’t accomplished in life and the pile of dirty clothes you left at home. 

“Well,” Trying to sound braver than you were, “Get on with it!” 

Mirthful laughter started and got louder as you closed your eyes tighter and evened out your breathing. “Kill me!” It came out half begging at this point, the coffee stirring up the acid in your stomach

It was a second later that a sarcastic sounding applause started and you opened up your eye, only one. For caution. 

“You think I’m going to kill you because you talked back once?” He purred. “Is your opinion of me that warped?” 

Pointing outside, “I have my rights to think that!” 

“Oh please, she thinks she can speak to anyone in any tone all her life and doesn’t like when people tell her no once, so I had to. The rest of the people are just a perk to add to her little lesson in decorum…”

“Not fucking funny!” Hauling out and hitting him in the arm, “You really had me going! I aged more in the past minute than I have all my life!” You sat down and moaned in pain as you massaged your forehead and worked on breathing.

“It was fun, loads of it. You gotta admit it.” 

You groaned and leaned backwards on the couch pulling the thick afghan over your face. “Sadist.” You muttered into the thick weave.

It could have been your imagination, but you for a split second thought you heard from the other side of the room, “And don’t you love me for it.”

It could have been your dirty imagination creeping up again. Maybe…

It was like he could read your mind, and it was his own monkey bars to swing around on.Testing you out and seeing how you’d react. 

Not that you’d expect someone who’s name was The Master to do anything differently…

Not that when you saw him and learned what his name was that you weren’t gunning to board the plane into subspace from dipshit-ville. 

Hearing him start the TARDIS up and go for another destination, you pulled it off your face and around you like a shawl, “So why does yours change shape all the time and seem like you don’t have to run around the console?”

“Hers is meant for multiple people to fly and it’s very, very broken.”

Of course, you rolled your eyes.

“It’s supposed to blend in, do what it’s pilot says. You know, rather like a car. You wouldn’t bring a dinky muddy Jeep Wrangler to a proper black tie event? Would you.” He flipped a switch and started entering coordinates into the touch screen.

“If you ain’t a pussy.” You muttered again. The statement smacked of classism you felt.

He elected to ignore that. Thank G-d. 

“So what are you in the mood for, Y/N? The best traditional Earth food the 34th century can offer or a nice shallow grave I can chuck your willing corpse into.” He smirked and wrinkled his nose at you.

“Woah. King of the non-sequitur.” 

“What even is ‘traditional’ Earth food?” Last time you checked, there were hundreds of what could be argued as “traditional” Earth foods. Your curiosity was genuinely piqued. “Yeah…” you nasalled, “Gimmie the best Earth food the 34th century can offer!” You leaned back down on the couch. 

“Get dressed better.” He ordered. 

You slumped off to the massive wardrobe and got something comfy yet nice looking. Just in case you had to run away from an explosion or something. 

Schlepping out of the depths, you twirled around, “I’m decent.” 

He made a noise like the Jeopardy buzzer. “Utterly not. Try again.” 

You did. 

Another buzzer noise. 

Third times a charm, you even put on a nice corset dress and a slide-on pair of sneakers. 

He marched you up in yourself ranting about how humans couldn’t be half-arsed to make their own decisions and he should just start picking your clothing out for you. 

You held your tongue and just waited for it to be over. 

“Get undressed.” He flipped a hand at you. 

Of all the places to strip down, in front of an alien was not on the list. It wasn’t like it was the person at the lingerie store sizing you up for a bra and panties. It was a man, alien albeit, and he was seeing you in your Hello Kitty underwear and tattered nude bra. Humiliating. 

“What do I even wear? You couldn’t even whip out the Space-Zagat or tell me how many Space Michelin Stars this place has!” You covered your stomach with your hands in an attempt at modesty. 

He went over to the hanger next to the door and seemingly manifested a shimmery purple ombre tulle gown and some glitzy silver strap heels.

He hastily unzipped it and said, “Pop in.” and you slid in as he zipped it up, you felt the warmth of his hands linger on the small of your back and the nape of your neck. He took his index finger and slid it up, the corner of the nail slightly catching on the soft baby hairs at the bottom of your scalp. You shivered and had a sharp intake of breath. You nearly felt more tears spring up for today. That felt good.

Suddenly, you felt a clink of a thick chain lock around your neck. “Turn around…” He ordered again, softly. He pointed towards a mirror. The sight of yourself was bewildering. It was off the shoulder and flattered you a little too much. It, paired with the solid gold chainmail necklace made you look almost regal? Queenly. All the big words. 

“Oh wow…” The words almost came out a choked garble, and yet barely above a whisper. The image before you was beautiful, and he was looming in the background, dressed to the nines to match in purple and gold. 

Then you exhaled. 

You looked like a power couple, like Bradjelina before the split, or Michelle and Barack Obama. You were sad how well you looked together. Though, how can an alien, especially when you saw what the females of the species did- eat a bar of soap and act like a racoon on trash night. 

You shook the lovely thoughts of that away. Tonight and the sensation of his slightly calloused, warm hands on your body were enough lust for one lifetime. 

“We’ve arrived.” He noted, drawing you out of yet another blank faced reverie.

You and your damn reveries. 

That’d be your death. 

Sashaying out as he took your hand and led you into this obviously very fancy and very expensive restaurant’s coat room from what looked like a small cupboard he led you to the reception where a humanoid with grey skin and spikes on their nose sat, “Name?” They drew lazily, a curious brow spike raised at the pair of you. 

“You will give us the best table and give us the best recreation-vintage.” He stated as if he was asking the weather. The creature looked dumbstruck and walked you to the table at the end of the dining hall, looking out on the vastness of space with planets twinkling and stars churning out light in the distance. The darkness contrasted well with the silver and whites of the place. 

As if by meaning, the pair of you stood out. Everyone else was in muted silver tones and you were specks of color demanding attention and respect. The center of a very odd universe. 

“Cotes du Rhone Red…” The waitstaff converged to you, “Sir, the finest of the Spiced Cheese Triangles...made this morning.” “Madame…” They all started simping postulating towards you.

Once you got your orders taken, you bit into one of the so called “Spiced Cheese Triangles”, it was a Dorito. 

“These are Doritos.” You whispered scandalised. “Do-rit-os.” He laughed, “Classic Earth food. You know how it is. The poor people love the food, the rich come in, spruce up the area, paint over the color, then charge a dozen times more for the same food. Don’t you know gentrification when you see it?” 

You guwaffed before taking a sip of your wine. The place was quiet except for the hushed chatter and soft sounds of eating. No music. Just the chasm of looking out into space. You rested your chin on your wrists and looked out. Where were you? Where was this place? So many questions scraped around your brain.

“You’re in the Black Eye Galaxy…” He responded quietly, “At the corner of it that looks into the mighty center…” 

You poked at your temple then towards his face. “I knew it!” You accused in a breath. “You can read my mind!” You leaned back and crossed your arms, “And you have me scrambling to find words every second of every day.” 

He winked. “A little. Human brains are very easy to rifle around in. I try not to read yours. Out of respect. I don’t mean to, all Time Lords are sensitive to the psychic vibrations of others. I was just a little more good at that when I was child. I use it to my advantage. Especially all things…” He trailed off, eyes growing dark. You made a mental note to pry later. Then tried to hide that and wipe it. He could read your mind, and you had to wrap your mind around that and compartmentalize that for another day. You didn’t want to ruin this lovely moment. Or a lovely half of a moment since it suddenly got dark. Your food got served and you continued to stare off into the great abyss of space. 

“Y/N?” Asked the Master. 

“Yes, Master?” You looked at him. His eyes were impossibly large and impossibly soft, framed by the longest and softest black lashes. It was strange how a man so universally feared and prone to fire-starting was capable of such a baby face. 

“I want you to tell me what you’re thinking. I’d rather not read your mind.” 

You felt yourself swallow a sudden lump in your throat. 

“I’ll work on it.” You promised.

Were you falling in love with him? Was this love? More confusion ebbed at your head. You scraped at your eyebrow with your pinky nail. 

You shoved that down deep into the caverns of your brain, where you kept your ballerina dreams and daddy issues.

You ate quietly. He barely seemed to touch a thing however. The evening drew on in a realm between too comfortable and oddly disheartening. 

As the evening drew to a close, he didn’t even pay. He just said to the waitress, “We’re finished.” And walked back to the TARDIS. This time not holding your hand. You didn’t know if that was a sign for you to grow up and stop fantasizing. You could take a hint. You weren’t as dumb as you looked. 

You marched to your room and couldn’t yet bear to rip your beautiful outfit from yourself. Especially the necklace, it felt oddly right. Like a collar or a letterman jacket. Something definitive of a bond. You sniffled. No more tears.

Wall of emotional protection, back up. Time to protect yourself. There’s no condom for your heart- you told yourself.

You went out back to the small kitchenette in the console room and made yourself a cup of tea to settle your stomach and saw him leaning over the counter of his little planning station, papers askew, hair mussed. It was sinful for one man to look insanely good while plotting something. 

“You’re still dressed?” He asked. Of course he’d stripped into something more comfortable, an unbuttoned waistcoat and jeans, a simple light purple button up. Did he sleep? You were contemplating PJs.

“Yeah. Problem?” You shrugged.

The look given was indescribable. 

“Utterly indecent.” He shook his head. He turned away for a second to bookmark the thick book he had. The way his jeans- midrise- shift around his bum was something funky. His hips were a bit wide so they slung over his body lavisciously. You caught yourself staring at it 

“Oh for fucks sake.” He said looking at you, your mouth sideways gaped, like you were some truck driver eyeing up a dime a ride whore at the stop. For all the rollercoaster of the day, the Master was breathtaking to look at.

He was in your mind again, and you were too tired and emotionally strung out to care. 

“I just want tea.”...and you, you mentally added, hoping that he’d get the subtext and either kill you to stop you from humiliating yourself further or make a move. Either or, it was something. 

He made a tutting noise and said, “Oh, you’d have to give me something in return.” A grin that was thoroughly wicked and possibly evil crept up and warmth flooded his eyes. His perfectly white teeth flashing dangerously in the ambient lighting. 

“What’s that?” You opened the line for bartering. You slid onto the table he was working at. Tea could wait for a second. Things just got interesting. 

He put one of those larger than life hangs on your neck and rested the crook of his thumb on your jaw, and petted it slightly. The rest of his fingers slightly applied a pressure to the base of your skull. His eyes traced over your face as he contemplated. He licked his lips slightly before speaking.

“I want you, fully. No more thoughts of ‘Oh, what if the Doctor catches us?’ or if you’re a traitor to her just because you are mine now. If she was truly a friend to you, and not just a preoccupation…”He cocked his head and focused his eyes on your lips. “She’d grant you this…” He moved his thumb down to the hollow of your jaw and pressed it. “She’d let you.” You closed your eyes and fluttered your eyelashes flipping around the millions of pro’s and con’s. You felt yourself relax and your body made your choices for you, you weren’t fighting it anymore. 

“What do you say, love?” He breathed in a husky tone.

“Yes.”

“Yes, who?” He chided in a guiding tone.

“Yes, Master.” 

“Good girl.” He laughed and dipped you down on the table inhaling your lips inward and pressed down with his free hand on your hip.

Giving up never would feel so good...

[youremyonlyhope]

The Timeless Children

Season 12 finale here we go.

“Take my hand.” And again the Doctor leaves her companions to go after the Master. At least this time she kinda chose to go with him. Graham... I don’t like the idea of you guys wearing Cybermen armor.... Master, what exactly is your plan here? Bringing the Cybermen? Graham.... awwww. That was so sweet. Will one of them die? If Graham or Yaz end up converted I will kill someone. “They are mine” nooo shut up Lone Cyberman. “You really think I’m gonna believe anything that comes out of your mouth.” Yes. I will believe him. I trust him to this extent. That was so weird to see a Cyberman move that naturally when Yaz turned to make sure he was gone... So smoothly instead of robotically. Indigenous race... we’re getting to human colonists.... right?... Adopted like Brandon... SHE FELL OFF A CLIFF TOO. WE’VE NEVER SEEN A CHILD REGENERATE BEFORE. THAT’S SO SAD. Oh god, if they end up shooting Yaz or Graham because they’re in Cyberman suits... The season started with him playing basketball... Ryan don’t you die. Hoarder? Of what?! Of people?????? Several regenerations... so was she killing the child over and over again!? Nearly there?? Nearly?????? There’s MORE?

Ok. So the Doctor is the Timeless Child... Ok... Ok. I need the episode to keep going so we can get to really get what this all means.

Also, if this is what the Master found out that caused him to destroy Gallifrey, then awww maybe he loves the Doctor and is mad about what they did to her.

Ok good, they didn’t get shot while dressed as Cybermen. “Oh. Okay.” OKAY. So that’s the Lone Cyberman out of the way. I like that the Lone Cyberman clinked when the Master picked him up. “and all this would be over. I would’ve been ok with that.” No Master. No. Don’t have a death wish PLEASE. It can’t be that bad. “I should have said ‘Someone should have cut you down to size’ and THEN zapped him.” Awww. Ok Master has the Cyberium. That’ll be fun. Back to commercial. But I need to know if my girl the Doctor is ok after that revelation! Tell me she’s ok!

I hate the stupid previews that BBC America plays. I thought the show as back. You’d think after years I’d stop falling for it, but we got through half the episode before the first preview.

“I cannot bear that.” Master, shut up. Ok, so it wasn’t because he loved the Doctor. I knew it wouldn’t be, but a girl can dream. He destroyed Gallifrey because of the insult of having part of the Doctor in him. OH SHE REALLY PUSHED HIM. I blinked and I missed it and then he was on the ground. Brandon?? It’s all erased... What the hell is the Division? OOOOOOOHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. CYBERMEN TIME LORDS. THIS IS WORSE THAN THE DALEK SILENCE. OH BUT I DO LOVE THE DESIGN. He blew a kiss. Kisses. Just like she sent O.

I mean. The Master back in the 1996 movie wanted to know the Doctor’s secrets, and found he was half-human. Maybe that was just a sort of fake-out that was planted to keep others from discovering that she’s the Timeless Child.

OH god I don’t want the fam to get killed on Gallifrey... Yaz no why did you have to go first? Stop being reckless. “This is Gallifrey.” She said the thing. RUTHHHHHHH. My girl. Something “He” said, but the “He” is not the Master? Jack? “Oh! I’m talking to myself again!” I love the Doctor. Awwww all those flashbacks. Oh so “he” was the Lone Cyberman. Ugh. I was hoping for my baby Jack. Is there a TARDIS they can steal to get everyone off the planet please?? Also, oh god the Gallifreyans will be super dead this time around. Which will suck. Oh god the Master wants them to do it... it’s a trap... A TARDIS TO STEAL! YAY! Doctor, stop having a death wish. You always have a death wish. Stop it. Neither you nor the Master are allowed to have death wishes. Yaz don’t you dare volunteer to do it instead... I can see it in your eyes. OOOH Ryan. “I am so much more than you.” Why does that give me deja vu? “You’ll become Death.” Doctor of Death. Wasn’t that a thing before? Oh, Ko Sharmus. Ok at least it’s not Yaz. So he sent the Cyberium! And look at all the people who thought it was Jack or Ruth or something. Overthinking it. Run, Doctor. Just like you tell everyone else to. TARDISes are organic too though... so are they all destroyed? And is the Master dead for good now? I hope not. I love the Master. She ran away from Gallifrey and never stopped. Again.

Ok wait. The title is Timeless Children. Plural. We’re still only talking about the singular Child. Oh god no more Doctor Who until Christmas.

Ha it’s a house! That’s so cute! The Chameleon Circuit’s working! Will they live in their TARDIS? I mean, you got a house right there. You can probably ask it to change the inside to look like a house too. Will the Doctor still just run away and not reunite with her Fam? Just leave them behind? “Good Chameleon Circuit” Wow two working TARDISes. AWWWW LOOK AT OUR TARDIS. I love her. “Don’t get jealous.” Sweet. AGAIN? THE JUDOON!?!?!?

Revolution of the Daleks???

Well that was a cliffhanger. Great.

I haven’t rewatched Matt Smith’s era in a while, is that supposed to be River’s prison?

Anyway. I think I’m satisfied. I wish the Master got out of that in the end, if only because I love the Master. He needed to be stopped of course. But still. Give me more Master. Especially Dhawan!Master.

It’s the Master. They’ll be back eventually. Hopefully still Dhawan.

Ruth Doctor. My girl. Glad to see her come back. Poor Doctor, she has so much to deal with now... It does bring up a bunch of questions. Like how she got more regenerations in the Time of the Doctor... I assume she’s able to just regenerate forever... so why would Gallifrey make a big show of giving her 12 more... I guess because they were like “Hey so, if we don’t come down there and look like we’re listening to Clara and helping the Doctor, he’s gonna find out about his past, so let’s just send a bit of regeneration energy at him to make this specific regeneration extra big and convince him he was given 12 more.... then we can just rinse and repeat again later.”

Also, the Doctor was a black girl first. If only it was still Black History Month. Oh well.

So Ruth’s version of the Doctor reached her 12 regenerations at some point, had her memory erased... and reverted back to a child... but why did they not do that to Eleven? Did they just want to see what the Doctor would do if they knew they were living longer than initially intended this time around? How many cycles have there been? I hope Ruth’s set of 12 was the first one but I doubt it...

At least the Valeyard, the Watcher, and the Curator make a lot more sense now. They can fall just about anywhere now and not mess with the 12 regenerations thing since that does not matter at all anymore for the Doctor.

And I can’t remember if we all freaked out about this back then, but I’ve been thinking about this recently, did we all freak out when we saw the Curator because of the number of regenerations? Because, by the time we watched the 50th Anniversary we were all freaking out and counting regenerations and wondering if the Meta-Crisis counted towards that number, and then wondering if Capaldi is the last Doctor or if it ends up that Smith is actually #13 then how does Capaldi happen? We were wondering all of that, so what did we make of the Curator? I honestly can’t remember. I feel like for the entire month after the 50th we were all just so blinded from the appearance of Tom Baker to wonder where the Curator falls in the 12 regenerations thing. And then by the time we started actually wondering where he fits in, Christmas happened and Eleven got more regenerations and we were like “Oh ok well then I guess the Curator’s at the end of those regenerations.”

But I LIKE the idea that the Curator is even further along than we thought, and that now that Gallifrey is truly gone (which sucks) and can’t enforce the rules of sets of 12 regenerations, the Doctor is just going to keep going on and on forever and ever and eventually starts just picking faces again.

Also, how old is the Doctor? We thought the 4 billion years in the confession dial was bad, but like, maybe it wasnt?

And what about that theory that all the Gallifreyans are the Doctor just at different points in their life, going back in time but living all the lives simultaneously... nah that’s too much.

Anyway. I was sure that this season would lead to us finding out that humans are the ancestors of Gallifreyans, still kinda hoping for that. I’m really clinging to this human thing. First I thought the Doctor was the Hybrid because he’s half human, now I thought we’d get the revelation that Time Lords evolved from humans.

Wait. There’s still one BIG question. If the Doctor isn’t from Gallifrey, then WHAT THE HELL IS SHE!??!?!