#i reblogged to many stuff today i can't post anything anymore

[stillprocrastinatingsorry]

Mystic Malfunction

Once I get good at backgrounds and lighting, world watch out.

[spacevixenmusic]

You know what, fuck this baby-ass website for babies.

Tumblr, you wanna keep flagging my Review posts cause they have a single gif with a barely-visible nipple in them, that's one thing. But to keep flagging these ancient posts of mine that are comprised of literally just - I kid you not - simple, unedited screenshots from the hit Nickelodeon cartoon "The Angry Beavers", that's another thing entirely.

I'm 38 fucking years old, I do not have time nor patience for this bullshit.

I've been checking in on the site regularly to see how my gif posts have been faring because I'm a stupid little addict who likes seeing the little numbers go up, even though I don't actually use this site anymore as intended. Well, I've had it up to here with this flagging nonsense, so it's time to fucking shut it off and pack it up, for GOOD this time.

I'm letting the queue empty out, drafts and all, and I'm not putting anything else into it after that. Granted, there's still several months worth of gifs in the queue at the moment, but that's that. No more.

This is my line in the sand. Tumblr can't handle when I put a barely visible nipple in a gif and keeps telling me I'm breaking their policies on sexual content by having reblogged a video a year ago that dared to feature drag queens in it, not to mention flagging many-years-old posts with screenshots of oh-so-horrible Definitely Adult Material cartoons like Humanity Has Declined, Spartakus & The Sun Beneath The Sea, and The Angry Beavers. What a fucking joke.

Anyway, if you haven't already, come visit me on a REAL website: MINE. No ads, no comment sections, no autoplay videos, no content feeds, no paywalls, no subscription service shilling, not even a goddamn Like button. It's fucking BEAUTIFUL. I have a ton of stuff you can check out there: art (uncensored), comics, music, original novels you can read ON SITE, anime reviews, old cringey AMVs, and a more.

Click THIS LINK (nsfw warning) and bookmark me!

I love the people I've met here, but I hope this shitty website burns to the ground. AGAIN.

Bring back the untamed wilderness of the internet. Get yourself a (free) personal website today and go find me there!

[drawnecromancy]

Get To Know Your Moots Writeblr Interview

Tagged by @ceph-the-ghost-writer, questions are from @davycoquette (and like Ceph, i'll link the template riiight here :))

If you see this post and consider yourself part of writeblr, please consider yourself tagged. I don't actually feel like I know enough people who would nod and go "yes, my blog is a writeblr", to tag anyone except @isabellebissonrouthier and @literarynecromancy LOL (also Ceph already tagged Jez so I can't tag him)

On the Tumblr Writing Community

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr ?

Well, that's the thing isn't it.

This blog isn't a writeblr. I've defined it in the past as an art blog, because i made it in 2017 primarily to show my drawings to other people. The thing is that said drawings tend to be part of a bit of writing anyway, so of course I'm including that. And it's also a personal blog.

This is just my house man.

What led you to create it ?

Accidentally answered this earlier - I wanted to show my art to other people.

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community ?

My friends ! I, genuinely, do not interact with the writeblr community much beyond my friends/mutuals. I have no idea how I stumbled into having genuine writeblr mutuals in the first place.

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you ?

I tend to reblog on @irianeth without further comment because my brain is empty 99% of the time

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash ?

...i don't know ?

What tips/advice do you have for someone who made a Writeblr today ?

Probably go in the writeblr tag and see how people do it ? I have no idea. Have fun I guess.

WIP it Good

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately ?

I've been a bit frustrated at my inability (largely due to time and energy constraints) to keep poking at my novel, Le prix du sang. [Hélianthe et Atropa tag] Genuinely I would like to be able to write a bit on it soon because i want this story out of my brain and into people's hands.

Other projects I've been Thinking about... Mostly roleplay stuff with @lee-thee-bee [Neseah tag]. There's so many AUs rolling around in my brain you have no idea. I can grab almost literally any character and go "here's an AU where shit goes differently". Sometimes it's better sometimes it's worse. Been rotating a funny one lately including fake kidnapping this time around.

How long have you been working on them ?

Le Prix du Sang ? Oh boy. I think it started before university, so probably in the 2017-2018 ballpark... Man, that's like 6 or 7 years.

Lee and I've been making Neseah since December 2023, I believe. Not even a year old but there's So much.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started ?

LPDS : I had a weird fucking dream. I was a woman, armed with a crossbow, running away from an entire village trying to kill me for being a witch. I eventually ended up in the living room of a sexy vampire who was basically offering me a job (helping him massacre the village) in exchange for letting me live. We massacred the village. I woke up like "hold on, if you change some things, it could be a short story". ...and then, the short story got out of hand. The village massacre is essentially just the first chapter.

Neseah : "Hey, do you want to do roleplay sometime ?" "Yeah sure !"

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them ?

24/7 for the Nesean guys as of right now.

Hélianthe and Atropa I mostly think of when I'm writing them, since I've got a Lot of things down for them I don't feel the urge to rotate them every second anymore. That, and it's no longer a hyperfixation.

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say ?

Is it a dreaded question ? I reply "Fantasy". That's the truth.

Let’s Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created.

You mean, this long ass list that should be updated with everyone from Neseah ?

Highlights include : Alan, Hélianthe, Atropa, Anne de Monthaut (I LOVE YOU ANNE), Valiandra (The Emperor - he has his own tags bc I think about him SO much), Benadryl (we love Ben).

Not included yet on the long list, but will be included shortly : Maran of Neseah, Nelvaren of Neseah. Insane wizard son and unhinged ghost father. Also Nadir, who's basically "what if Nelvaren was a 25 year old trans catboy". (if you're wondering, yes, Nelvaren's also trans.)

Who’s the most unhinged ?

I think probably Valiandra. Due to the Horrors.

That and also the fact that sometimes he is his own parent in increasingly fucked up ways.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write ?

Maran and Nelvaren - due to being roleplay characters, mostly ! Spontaneity and being able to Just Get Into It feels important to me to sling stuff back and forth.

Hélianthe goes also fairly smoothly because he's fucking ridiculous.

Do you ever cringe at them ?

(Side-eyeing Hélianthe) You could say I do, yes.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters ?

All and none at all.

Sometimes shit Just Happens and Just Makes Sense (Alan dramatically revealing stuff about his past, him being Margot in Le Prix du Sang). Other times, a character presents me with an idea, and I rotate it, and go, no. Most times I'm between putting them in situations to see what happens, and/or building from things I want to write about.

You gotta be able to reverse stuff you don't actually want in your writing.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters ?

Yes ! It's a lot of fun ! I don't get a lot of them and I'm 100% sure it's because I also don't send enough questions to others ! I want to get bettter at this tbh.

On Writeblr Engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account ?

If they seem nice !

What makes you decide against following ?

If I feel like I wouldn't vibe with them or their writing !

Do you interact with non-mutuals often ?

No. But that's because I don't go to the writeblr tags. Due to not being a writeblr.

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle ?

@bitchfitch's Arlo lives in my mind rent-free. I need to throttle him so bad but also I want to have a nice day with him and braid his hair or something. I am very normal about this goat. Also Adonis. Every so often I'm just like man, I wonder what Adonis and Ione are up to right now.

@isabellebissonrouthier's Chrysanthemum Clawe - Chrys is so fucking funny. I didn't expect she'd be my favorite but she's a disaster and I love her so much.

@logarithmicpanda's [SPOILERS FOR HEART OF STONE THAT WOULD TAKE A WHOLE PARAGRAPH PROBABLY]. Besides it, there's Ordyr my best friend Ordyr, I want to go hang out with her. And Orion. Funniest little shit I've ever met I need to redraw that slurping the source image.

@jezifster SHADOW. And Veronica to some extent but she scares me, while Shadow just makes me laugh so hard I want to study him like a bug

[elvenlace]

Hello to all ye who enter!

[I LOVE THE HARRY PITTER SERIES!! Hate J.K. Rowling, tho.]

18+ ONLY | MINORS DNI | AGELESS BLOGS DNI | I AM NOT A SISSY! | TRANSPHOBES DNI | SISSY BLOGS DNI | BIGOTS AND TERFS DNI | PEOPLE WHO DISRESPECT BOUNDARIES UNSAFELY DNI (ALSO, no p3d0s, z00philes, and anything else illegal)

Transphobes, TERFs, SWERFs, transmed/truscum, MAPs can all fuck off. Please, PLEASE keep away from me if you are a minor. If you're rude, negatively nasty, or just down right hateful then your ass is getting blocked.

My asks and DMs are open to anyone, so long as you are not rude.

So, this is going to be my pinned post, for some info about me:

• I am 22 years into maturity

• I am a queer transfemme switch bitch (sub leaning). My pronouns are She/They and I am attempting to navigate my gender even today. Questioning it a lot as of recently.

• I have autism, So please be patient with me, AND DIRECT.

• Along with autism, I also I struggle with bipolar disorder, and struggle with depression and multiple different flavours of anxiety, as well as many more disabilities including physical issues. It is possible I will open up about more about my disabilities llater, but mainly in DMs.

• I have quite a bit going on about me medically. It's a fascination of mine to learn more about the medical stuff happening in my body. I am in no way a professional, nor can I help you with your medical issues.

• I am abrosexual (please look it up as I still don't have a full understanding of it, but basically it means I'm fluid in what I am attracted to. If you would like to know more about how my sexuality is to me, feel free to ask.)

• I am a transfemme polygender demiboy trans enby gurl/boy-thing mess of a queer.

• Even tho I am abrosexual, I prefer fluxsexual because it's my own label and it's more comforting. So, ask me anything if stuff is confusing. Same thing goes for my gender.

• I add that I am transgender/nonbinary, because I am proud to be so, and it is part of my identity just as much as being a girl is.

• I enjoy complicated and sometimes controversial ships, but I do not accept anything intense such as minors with adults and anything yandere-like; Accepter of those purely attracted to trans people, because attraction can't be controlled as is the case with being queer.

• Please feel free to reblog any of my posts. ☺️

• Most tags I use are in the tags of this post, will add more soon. I don't try to post heavier topics, but I may repost them and forget to tag the repost properly. So, please let me know if you would like me to tag a post a certain way.

• I have D.I.D and want to explore opening up about it more in general to people, and on my blog but I don't know how or where to start. That and, it is extremely uncomfortable for me to talk about it. Plurals or systems, please help?

So, I have a CashApp ($ElvenLace) and a PayPal (ElvenLace), and it would be helpful, and extremely appreciated, if you have the spare money, and chose to send it my way. I'm living off of SSI and getting payed once a month, barely surviving most months so, any money helps.

More spice under the cut:

[PLEASE KEEP IN MIND that I have blogs I've followed in the past but, do not enjoy their content anymore and don't see enough of their posts to unfollow them without going to each individual blog. I have very little energy to actually do that, currently as I am running dangerously low on spoons. Will update more on this situation, later]

I am open about my kinks and sexual-ness, just ask. I also have very few limits, as seen below. Just ask if I'm okay with it, and I'll let you know.

I have a very complicated relationship with my kinks and fetishes, and don't always like them the entire time, so think of these more as guidelines than solid in-stone kinks. I'm also still navigating this world and am a virgin, so all of what I enjoy is in fantasy. When I do try it in real life, I may not like it anymore and that'll be that. This remains to be seen, and as I explore I will grow.

I am polyamorous, and open. I'm not explicitly looking for anybody right now, but that doesn't mean I'll stop anything that develops naturally. I don't mind being sexual or flirty, just get to know me as well.

Some of my harder kinks that I will more than likely not post or reblog about here, unless the content is more tame or in text:

• CNC - intox, dubious con, somno [ALL CONSENSUAL AND AGREED UPON BEFORE DONE]

• watersports

• Feeder/Feedee (waning on and off of this one, more than definitely something I hold back on posting and indulging in) (To a reasonable degree, of course. I do not agree with nor consent to anything over 200-350 depending on their height.)

• (will add more as I think of them)

My hard limits are as follows:

• ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING ILLEGAL THAT IS SEXUAL!!! I am talking about anything dealing with children, real animals, and necrophilia. (except for the more tame stuff, such as sex work and such.)

• ANYTHING I DEEM IMMORAL including things such as: passing on STDs as a way of sexual gratification, doing hard drugs for any sexual reason, hurting people on purpose physically or mentally to get off sexually, sexualizing disabilities.

• Smoking (weed can be an exception)

• Scat and vomiting

• heavy gore (bruising, biting, scratching, blood, cuts do turn me on to an extent. Still rarer for me to feel anything for some of these.) (Thinking things over and exploring more of myself, so this may change further.)

• raceplay

• ageplay

• ABDL

• Diapers of any kind in kink, not the right place for it

• detransitioning

• sissy, and DO NOT CALL ME ONE (Cages are NOT exclusive to crossdressers and I absolutely love them. The idea of wearing one, teasing a partner who has one on, and so on.)

• Certain slurs (slut, whore, bitch. Some of the tamer things are good to me.)

• Certain degradation such as fat shaming

• Necrophilia

• more to add later

[jellybeanium124]

longtime mutual blocked me over i/p.

this one really hurt.

idk exactly when we started following each other, but we found each other thru tua so it's gotta have been more than two years.

in september 2023 I was posting my multichap 1920s fic, and they commented on every single chapter, which lead to a little joke we had about being married (I loved them so much for commenting on my fic that I married them).

sometimes when they had a silly opinion I disagreed on (like food preferences or smth, you know, innocent stuff) I would joke about divorcing them, and then remarrying when I "forgave" them.

we had a conversation a while ago about i/p. I knew we were coming at this conflict from very different angles. I reblogged a post earlier today that they didn't like. they messaged me about it. we had another conversation. I thought it was fine. I was willing to move on. went to work. came home. and I was blocked. guess they decided they didn't want to see me any more. because I felt the words of a holocaust survivor were worth sharing (even though I didn't 100% agree with what he said).

every single holocaust survivor will be dead in 10 years or so. the man whose letter I shared was 94 years old. he almost certainly doesn't have 10 years left.

holocaust denial and inversion are going to get so much worse the day the last holocaust survivor dies. this is a thought that's been terrifying me since I was a child.

some of you will know who I'm talking about. this isn't some plea to contact them and go "why did you block noa? she's sad you blocked them. you should reconsider." don't invade their privacy like that, please. they didn't block me on their side blog (idk if they forgot or didn't know they would have to block me on their sideblog for me to no longer be able to see it or what), but I unfollowed out of respect anyways. I think that's the right thing to do.

a friendship of over two years. a friendship that lasted past either of us posting about tua anymore. we didn't just follow each other, we talked. last november they reached out to send me their discord during that brief panic where everyone thought tumblr was gonna be shut down or smth, so we could stay in touch.

this is the one that hurt the most.

other people have blocked me. one person who I lost touch with a long ass time ago found one of my posts to spew horrible jew-hating things in the replies back in october. blocking her was easy. most of the other people were people I was Just Mutuals with and didn't actually talk or anything. it hurts worse when you've taken the step from Just Mutuals to like, friends. it makes me wonder how many other people's breaking points I'm nearing, how many people are one post away from not wanting me to contact them ever again. it's a really sad and scary thought, but like, I can't stop speaking my truth. not now. not after being terrified to speak it for two and a half years.

if you can't handle jewish voices on your dash, take a second to ask yourself why.

this is a very long post just to say... this fourth or fifth divorce isn't so fun. goodbye. I'll miss you. I'm sorry.

[haldenlith]

Sort of political rant/vent/ramble? I guess? I don't know, I got stuff on my mind and I want to put it out there.

Saw some people waving Palestinian flags on the corner today when I went to grab groceries, and I got to thinking about a lot of things. First, I wondered what the entire point of protesting on a corner was, as I've always understood the point of a protest was to achieve a goal, be it the reversal of a decision, the cessation of something, or the gaining of something. And before anyone says "to free Palestine!", I'd like to reiterate that this was a random street corner. There were no government buildings nearby. No Israeli embassy. No nothing. For all intents and purposes, they were just some people waving flags.

Which then got me thinking about a post I reblogged a few days back, hitting on the point of if anyone has genuinely thought about an end game to all of this "Free Palestine" business. Yes, stop the genocide, but... then what? What's the actual solution? There's no such thing as a permanent ceasefire. You can't just eliminate Israel (as much as I'm sure many people would love to).

It got me thinking on what really, really bothers me about activism anymore: No one stops and thinks about the after, the "now what?".

Okay, you "freed Palestine".

(I think what's worse is that I have yet to see anyone agree to what a "free Palestine" is supposed to look like. Outside of stopping the ongoing destruction and genocide (which, I mean, is a good goal), no one seems to be thinking very far ahead. And no one seems to stop to think about the implications of what "from river to sea" means in that catchy little chant, because there's a reason when it was pointed out to me, I stopped reblogging stuff with it.)

Now what?

Or, better yet, a different topical item: woohoo, you abstained from voting.

Now what?

I just... I just wish people would stop and think more than five seconds ahead. Shit, we've seen the repercussions in action, multiple times. I'd point to the whole BLM movement as an example, honestly. People turned out because it made them feel good, made them feel like they were doing something. And sure, Trump got voted out. But... it feels interestingly like everything just... dried up. The moment was done. No one wanted to think about the "now what" part, to keep protesting, keep trying to do anything.

I guess I just feel fatigued at the sheer amount of performative activism there is. I hate to validate the right and their whole "I don't care about your FEELINGS" bark they like to use, but this is one instance where I honestly think feelings are getting in the way. Everyone wants to feel good, no one wants to stop and think.

And boy howdy, are things getting co-opted because of that. It's making for a whole lot of useful idiots, in multiple realms, not just this whole Palestine stuff.

(*stares at the garbled mess that is current day feminism* The weird radfems didn't just form overnight. That's all I'm saying.)

[mayfriend-archive]

Totally understand if you're not up for it and fully recognize the ronald mcdonald dom/sub anon vibes which is an AMAZING post btw but like...now i'm curious, what the hell did Lord of the Flies anon DO that got him blocked for the discourse? like...i just can't wrap my head around high school lit being...uh...that inflammatory i guess?

Okay so, I'll start by saying I've had a new anon from apparently the same anon saying they are NOT the person I blocked, just a rando making the same points, but I'll answer your question anyway just to set out why this person in particular got blocked, out of the several thousand who reblogged/commented on that very successful addition to the LoTF post I made.

First off, I added the 'real life Lord of the Flies' story because I thought it was a good story. I had read about it only a couple days beforehand in Humankind and, after reading out the entire chapter to my parents who weren't very interested, I was excited that there was not only a post where it would be relevant to post, but that I wouldn't be hijacking it, as it was already rejecting the widespread interpretation taught in many schools, that humanity is inherently savage.

When making the addition, I a) did not think it would get more than a couple reblogs, because the post was already at 50k notes and I figured anyone that might be interested would already have seen it, and b) I did not know the very specific context that prompted William Golding to write the book; all I knew was that he had been a teacher at a public school (basically, the poshest schools in the country - think Eton, Harrow, very 'old money' places that pump out Conservative politicians by the bucket-load 🤢) who hated his job and the boys he taught (which, valid), and new information I'd been given in Humankind - that Golding had said to his wife one day, "Wouldn't it be a good idea to write a story about some boys on an island, showing how they would really behave?" - which had no mention of The Coral Island by R. M. Ballantyne, which I have since learned was the text that Golding loathed enough to write an entire novel in refutation of - and included what I considered a very telling letter from Golding to his publisher, in which Golding wrote of his belief that 'even if we start with a clean slate, our nature compels us to make a muck of it.' Another Golding quote that I believe portrays his belief in humanity's 'innate savagery' is that "man produces evil as a bee produces honey."

Obviously, the author of a book putting forward the case for humanity's inherent goodness was going to oppose Golding's hypothesis; Bregman not only noted Golding's literary accomplishments and beliefs, but his personal life.

When I began delving into the author's life, I learned what an unhappy individual he'd been. An alcoholic. Prone to depression. A man who, as a teacher, once divided his pupils into gangs and encouraged them to attack each other. "I have always understood the Nazis," Golding confessed, "because I am of that sort by nature." (Humankind by Rutger Bregman, p. 24-25)

I have bolded the part about him as a teacher, because it is incredibly relevant to the original post that I commented on, which begins with a comic of a teacher locking her class in to see them 'recreate' Lord of the Flies, something which the follow up comments before mine staunchly reject as both misunderstanding the point of the book, and the fact that it took the kids in Lord of the Flies a significant amount of time without adult supervision to go 'savage'. This misreading of the text is widespread enough that when Golding won the Nobel Prize for Lord of the Flies, the Swedish Nobel committee wrote that his book 'illuminate[s] the human condition in the world of today'. Whether or not they misread it is beyond my expertise - they do at least mention the factors of the outside world neglected by many when analysing the book, but still seem to believe it says something about human nature as a whole rather than just, to quote thedarkbutbeige 'British kids being rat bastards' - but Golding quite happily took his Nobel prize on this basis. Which, in fairness, I would too. It's a fucking Nobel prize.

It was with this knowledge, and this knowledge alone, that I stated in my now very, very widely read comment that Golding 'wrote the book to be a dick', in response to the tags of the person I reblogged from. As I said, I now know that Golding did not write the book (solely) because he hated the kids he taught, but as a response to The Coral Island and the general idea that clearly the British were inherently civilsed, whilst the people they colonised and enslaved were inherently savage. So. That's the background.

The anon - or rather, the person I thought was anon - was the sole exception out of dozens of replies, who instead of telling me about The Coral Island politely decided it was time to go ALL CAPS and regurgitate points already made by thespaceshipoftheseus, and implied that the only reason that the real life Tongan castaways didn't go all Lord of the Flies was because they weren't British. Not because they weren't surrounded by violence like the boys in Lord of the Flies, or there wasn't a World War ongoing, or that they weren't the upper, upper, upper crust of a class-obsessed society like Britain - but because they weren't British. A complete inversion of the concept that Golding was trying to get across - now, instead of all of humanity being equally prone to savagery in the right conditions, it was solely nationality that determined it. As in, the British were inherently savage, but nobody else was.

I, trying for humour, made the terrible mistake of replying to them.

I won't lie, I was absolutely blown away that this was real life. What I think they were trying to do was be that Cool Tumblr Person who, after somebody's been shitty on a post, goes to their blog and sees something Damning in their about/description. In an ideal world, I imagine I'd have gone nuts or done something Unforgiveable. In what I can only call the rant that followed, they stated several times that I needed to go back to high school to get some 'proper literary analysis' skills and that the story of the Tongan castaways was completely unrelated to the point at hand which. I mean, I disagree, considering that I made the addition, but I couldn't get my head around how commenting on a post that was already rejecting the thesis that the 'point' of Lord of the Flies was that humanity was inherently savage and was, in fact, about how kids - British or otherwise - learn how to function from the adults around them, and that traumatised, terrified children aren't going to create a mini-Utopia, and put forward a real life example of how without the key additions of an ongoing world war, a colonial Empire and the subsequent mindset of thinking you are 'inherently civilised' and therefore can't do anything wrong, actually, people just want to take care of each other.

A friend has since asked me why I even have 'england' in my description. To be honest, it's a timezone thing - I talk to a lot of people online who don't share my timezone, and it generally makes me feel like if I don't reply immediately because it's 3am, they have the tools to see that I'm not in their timezone and not just ignoring them. I did consider changing it to 'british' or 'uk' after it was... 'used against me', I guess, simply because I didn't want to deal with it, but you know what. No. Not gonna do that. I am from England, and I have never hid that fact. I have a tag called 'uk politics', during Eurovision I refer to the UK's act as 'us' (even if I really, really don't want to. Because James Newman slaughtered that song and it was downright embarrassing), I regularly post stuff in my personal tag about where I live (and mostly complain about this piece of shit government). If people really think my nationality makes every point I make null and void, then they don't have to follow me or interact with my posts; tumblr is big, and I am one medium-small blog very easily passed over.

I did reply to them, trying to explain the above, but their next response really just doubled down. Because I used the word British instead of English - foolishly because the posts above mine focused on Britishness, and also because although Golding was English and taught English kids, the pro-Imperialism author of The Coral Island, R. M. Bannatyne was actually Scottish so, ding ding ding, falls into the 'British' category - they then decided that I was somehow trying to pretend I wasn't English and made all the same points, before ending with this doozy:

At this point, I knew there was nothing to be gained from replying, because if we're whipping out conditions like they're pokemon cards then there's no actual conversation anymore, and I'm not going to start mudslinging like an identity politician. They made up their mind, and I figured there could be no harm in letting them think that they 'won' by blocking them instead of replying.

Until the ask. INNATE ENGLISH SAVAGERY did, I'll admit, make me think it was them, back again. I even thought up a really good response approximately 12 hours after I replied, I was that sure. Until the second message came in, and said they were just someone who came from the post and made the same point by chance. So the saga draws to a close... for now.

It may have been them, it may not have been - the anon feature makes it impossible to be sure, but as the second message I got said, we're in a heatwave. It's too hot to argue. And I've just written a goddamn essay about a book I dislike anyway.

My pasty English ass is going to go melt. If there's Disk Horse, do not tell me. I am Done™

[fivesoskingdom]

"Kill him." gang!Ashton (Golden Star Fanfic)

A/N: Knock knock knock. Someone's there? Guess who is finally free from college?? This bitch. Hell yeah. Well, actually I'm free for 20 days now, but I was on my break, OK? Let me be happy. But now I'm back. I'm back and ready to spam you guys with chapters. Until December 31th I'll be posting as much as I can, maybe a chapter a day, maybe one chapter each other day, I'll just write the stuff and post here, doesn't matter the 30 notes, I'm doing it for you guys who waited for this and kept sending me asks about it. Welcome back. I hope you like it. (But I'll still be happy with comments and asks and likes and reblog, jfk)

Summary: Its opening day! After being locked at the building for so long, you're finally out for some fun with the guys. But being part of a gang never lets you have fun the way you like and sometimes you end up in danger.

T.W: THIS CHAPTER MENTIONS RAPE. IT'S NOTHING TOO EXPLICIT, BUT PLEASE BE AWARE AND CAREFUL. Thank you.

You can find the previous parts here

~

It was a saturday night and for the first time in forever everyone was on the building, you could hear people talking and in a very strange way the place seemed alive, almost like something you could call home. You got into the kitchen to find the guys all dressed up, looking even better than usual.

"Why are you on your pj's in a Saturday night?" Luke raised one eyebrow looking at you. "We said we were going out today."

"Not to me." you shook your head, denying and making all the boys look at each with judgmental faces. "But that's OK, you guys can go and have fun, I'll be here catching up on Modern Family."

"Seriously, that's how you want to spend your night?" Calum looks at you, you just shrug again, waving your hand on his direction before going to the fridge to get some cake. "Let's go, you need some distraction."

"You sure?" you raise one eyebrow looking at him, but he didn't respond, just held your wrist taking you to your bedroom. You had showered minutes before since you were getting ready to bed, so you just changed your clothes for something you thought it would be suitable for whenever they were going and a make up a little more fancy that you're used to. You got downstairs finding them talking to some partners who would be taking care of the building while everyone was out and you just blushed when the nine men looked at you with widen eyes. "What?" you asked, but no one dared to say a thing. After almost ten minutes the five of you divided between three cars, you choose to go with Calum, since he was the one who actually invited you.

"You look great." he said glancing at you, but looking to the streets.

"Thank you." you smiled, blushing a little. It was the first time in forever that you had received a compliment, you didn't even noticed how much time you spent locked out of the world. "Gosh, I feel like it has a life time that I don't see the world."

"Months, I would say." Calum looked at you. "You really need to go out more, being all the time in the building isn't good for you, believe me. And you're getting pale, you need some sun, you know."

"Yeah, I know. I just don't have anywhere to go, anyone to see. God, I just vanish from existence of everyone in my life, I don't know how there's not a bunch of people looking around for me. How everyone just believed when I said that I needed some time?"

"You didn't really gave them any other option." he chuckled and you needed to agree. After a couple of minutes you discovered that they were going to a club almost out of town, the place was huge, lights all over with a big yellow neon sign shining and getting all the attention. Wonderland. The line outside was almost infinite, you couldn't count how many people were there.

"Wow. This is huge." you said when all the cars were parked, the four men around you while walking across the street to get in. "And this line? Fuck."

"Night, Mr Irwin. Mr Clifford. Mr Hemmings. Mr Hood." the man at the door said and there was when it hit you.

"This place is yours."

"Today is the open day." Luke said with a smile on his face, inside, the place was completely empty apart from the staff. Looking at the ceiling you could see that it had, at least, three floors, so high that you couldn't really see the end of it, since it was so dark." Everything's ready?" you heard him ask, changing your look to the blonde guy, you saw him talking to a woman from the staff, she nodded, she was dressed all in white and gold, just like the rest of the people there.

"I'll get a drink." you said starting to walk to the bar.

"Let me." Calum said going with you. The bartender looked at both of you with a sweet smile. "Shane, take care of her. She can have anything." he pointed to you, a bit of power crossed your body, making you smile when Shane smile at you, nodding.

Wonderland was crowded, the music was blasting from the speakers, the DJ didn't let people stop for a second. You had be dancing for the longest time, a guy who said that his name was Daniel were with you all the time, his body glued to yours while you two dancing in the middle of the dance floor. If you looked around you could see the partners, they were all over the place, some taking care of security, some doing business that you rather don't wonder what exactly, some looking at you. They guys were long gone, you didn't saw any of them anymore after people started to come in, but you just figured out that they must had been doing his business as well or at least having their own fun. That didn't bother you, actually, it was good to know that at least for some hours you wasn't a problem to them, they could just let go and live their lives without having to keep an eye on you all the time. Daniel was fun, when he kissed you was like your body were on fire, he knew exactly what he was doing and you loved it. It was good to be finally with someone again, even if it was just some kissing.

Daniel convinced you to go somewhere with less people and giving the time you spend on the dance floor it wasn't exactly a bad idea. You two got into a hallway, the suddenly light made you squeeze your eyes while giggling, the boy's hands were all over your body, trying to find a way to get under your clothes, but having a hard time since it was way too tight.

"Easy, pretty boy." you laughed, trying to hold his hands while opening a door from some room you really didn't knew what had inside.

"You look good in this clothes, but would look better without them." his breath on your neck made you shiver, the smile never leaving your face. It was clearly an office, soon you were making out on a big black sofa, you two laying down with him over you while his hands were all over your body. He manged to open the button of your pants, making your eyes get widen.

"Daniel, hold on." you try to hold his wrist, but he just hold both your hands on your back while trying to get his free hand inside your pants. "Daniel!"

"Those pants are too tight. Got me wondering if your pussy is tight as well." he finds his way to your underwear, making your heart race.

"Daniel, let me go." you try to get out of his hands, but it's like he's not even listening to you since he keeps talking obscenities on your ear. You try to kick him, but his body is so close to yours that you can't move, remembering the little stuff Calum had teach you about self defense, you try to hit his head with yours, but you miss it and the move along with the alcohol just makes you feel dizzy and ready to puke, with your hands held by him you can't get the necklace to call the boys and even if you could, they would only know that you were in danger somewhere in the building. Would help. "Fucking shit, let me go!" you close your eyes, trying to go away of the pain of his fingers on you while trying to think how get to the little star. Suddenly his weight is gone, making you ffinally breathe before opening your eyes just to see a big figure in front of him, ready to punch him in the face. You try to get up as fast as you can, reaching the person just to see Michael. If usually his has a blank expression, in that moment it looked like he wasn't even human. He punched Daniel for the first time, making him go down, but Daniel didn't run away, he actually punched Michael back. You knew that if you didn't stop that, things would be out of control. "Michael, stop!" you scream, but he doesn't listen to you, hitting Daniel again. Taking advantage of the fact that they split up for a second, you got in the middle of them, looking to the member of the Golden Star in the eyes and letting both of your hands on his chest, before talking again. "Mike, stop." it was like he came back to himself, a little flame of humanity coming across his face. "Throw him out, but it's enough."

"What the fuck?" you hear Daniel say. "You know this guy?"

"Daniel, get out of here." you say between teeth looking at him, but not taking your hands out of Michael. "Now."

"Oh, I get it. He's your boyfriend. You're just another whore who loves a criminal." he crossed his arms, a smirk on his face with his nose bleeding. You feel Michael take a deep breath like an angry bull and you look back to him.

"No, I get it." you say.

"Is him your pimp?" Daniel says again. "You know, you don't even worth this much, not that hot." you need to actually use force to keep Michael on his place, somehow getting some control. "Doesn't matter, you will end up dead in dome dark alley anyway. I'll have you then."

"Kill him." You mutter to Michael, taking off your hands of his chest, it didn't take more than two seconds before you heard the crack of a broke bone, looking behind you to see Michael letting Daniel's head go, his body going directly to the ground, his neck twisted." Son of a bitch." you say again in a whisper.

"Are you OK?" you hear Michael say, looking at you now with his usual blank stare. You just nod and he comes closer. "Are you sure?"

"I'm, just get rid of him before anyone else sees it." you say closing your pants button, Michael just nod, going back to the body exactly when Calum comes down the hallway, looking mad.

"What the fuck, Michael?" he almost screamed. "It's opening day and you're already killing people?"

"He tried to rape her." Michael said, annoyed, pointing to you while getting Daniel's body on his arms, Calum finally acknowledged your presence.

"He what?" he looks at you, his eyes in a mix of anger, madness and concern. "Are you OK?" you just nod again. "Are you sure?" with another nod he seems convinced, turning back to Michael. "Get out of here." he opens one of the doors showing the street, a dark alley full of trashcan, Michael let Daniel's get to one of them, the biggest one, and for some reason you know that that one is specifically for that. "I'll call someone to take care of this. You" he points to you. "Go to the office and talk to Ashton. You," he points to Michael "go with her, but please don't kill anyone else on your way." you both nod, Michael rolling his eyes before getting you to the office.

~

Tagged babes: @betkaskarpetka @songforhema @booklove-2 @tremendously-sassy-c-dizzle @neralondon @xoxellie @mysteriouslycali @pretty-in-black-things @beautifulplacesforhappines

[dangertoozmanykids101]

My Very Own Doubtful Guest, Chapter 1

"It came seventeen years ago - and to this day

It has shown no intentions of going away."

---The Doubtful Guest by Edward Gorey

A shiny silver Lexus pulled up in front of a California bungalow, nestled precariously into the western side of San Leandro Hills. The car door slowly opened and an exceptionally tall, lean man stepped out, stretching his hands up so high that he might've touched the heavens if he went up onto his tiptoes. His shirt, already a bit disheveled from driving in the car for an hour was fully pulled free, exposing his narrow waist after such a stretch.

He glanced around at his surroundings, as he continued to stretch his back, twisting this way and that, rolling his head forward in attempt to relieve the lingering stiffness in his neck. A little voice in his head scolded him: 'Buck up, old man! Stop whining and tuck your shirt back in so you don’t look like a hobo.' Meanwhile, a second little voice piped up: 'Or just take the shirt right off. Imagine, old man, how nice a massage would feel for those knots in your back. If you play your cards right...' For the moment, he chose to go with voice number one, and tucked his shirt back in. Voice number two was right that a massage would feel great. But today required diplomacy rather than a Don Juan.

His curly, dark blonde hair was brushed back off his face. His beard was trimmed short and more reddish brown than blonde. Of course, with a couple stray gray hairs invading his chin these past couple years, the beard may look blond again at some point. Or it might at least from a distance, he reassured himself occasionally.

The neighborhood was quiet, with narrow curvy streets that twisted awkwardly between the eclectic mix of houses. The buildings were uncomfortably close together and only set back a few feet off the street. This made it feel more overcrowded than it really was. Luckily most people were still at work, meaning a parking spot was available right out front. In a few more hours, once everyone was home for dinner, the closest available parking spot might be blocks away.

An older woman was working in the yard across the street. She had stopped working to watch as he stretched and unrolled his sleeves before putting his suit jacket back on.

He waved when he saw her, shouting, "Greetings, Mrs. Dixon! Your garden has never looked so lush! I can smell the roses from here!"

As soon as he spoke with that hypnotic British accent and flashed his million dollar smile, it was obvious that she recognized exactly which prince charming had stepped out of that luxury car. Mrs. Dixon's face lit up, as she waved back.

"Well, hello Tom! What a sight you are!" She started walking toward him, already giggling with excitement to see the man.

He quickly reached back into his car, and popped back up with a bright yellow sunflower in hand. Jogging over to the woman, he handed her the sunflower with a slight bow and a warm smile.

"For you, my Lady Dixon. To match your bright and sunny smile."

"Oh Tom. You are such a charmer! Now come down here to give an old lady one of those manly bear hugs. Why have you stayed away so long?" She held onto him stooped over for her as long as he would let her. Once he pulled away, she started rubbing his arms. "My goodness! You have really grown up and out! Heavens to Betsy, Tom! Look how beefy you are now! Last I saw you, you were still just a skinny, lanky boy. Look at you now! I'm going to put you to work, with all that muscle. You just let me know when you have time. I've got a list a mile long for ya."

"Will do, Mrs. Dixon! I'll be happy to help with whatever you need while I'm here." Waving to her, he walked back to the car while still wearing that smile that could melt an iceberg.

He would be happy to help her out. She had always been very kind to him, and generous. She could bake sweets fit for a king, or a Prince Charming, and his sweet tooth was no secret. The table in her home was always covered with cakes, pies, and cookies needing to be tested. It was a task which he happily obliged with raving feedback whenever given the opportunity.

He only grabbed one bag out of the trunk, he could bring the rest of his stuff in later. It was probably best if first impressions implied that he was just here for a short visit. Grabbing the bouquet of flowers from the front seat and locking the car door before glancing at his reflection in the car window, he ran fingers through his hair. It was a curly mess right now, so the motion was more of habit than a genuine attempt to fix anything. Taking a deep breath, a small smile crept onto his face as he finally started up toward the door, one step at a time.

He stood there a moment, staring at the house and gathering up one last much needed morsel of courage. With one last deep breath, he began the short walk up the steep driveway and even steeper steps toward the front porch.

The house looked the same it had ten years ago. Wow, had it really been ten years since he'd been back here? Had it been ten years since they'd even spoken? It was good to be back.

At first glance, very little had been added, changed, or improved. A few new plants out front and a new tree along the side, but otherwise it had the same pale yellow stucco with white trim. The window sills were peeling again. Maybe he could give those a quick scrap and paint while he was here. It would feel good to help out a little. Maybe a little home repair would help mend any broken bridges or residual hurt feelings.

He continued to just stand there, still staring at the house as a few moments turned into a few more minutes. A normal, considerate friend would have called first to ask if they could come visit. But when had he ever been a normal friend, let alone considerate. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself at the thought of how surprised she would be to see him after all this time. He could guarantee it wouldn't be a pleasant surprise at first.

She never enjoyed his spontaneity. In fact, she outright despised things that weren't planned out. That's what made surprising her all the sweeter, wrenching her out of her comfort zone. It wouldn't be any fun if it was easy. Besides, she would soften up and come around, eventually. She always did but until that point, he'd enjoy every moment of riling her up.

He fondly remembered how beautiful she was when she was angry and flustered. Of course, frequently he was the cause. Closing his eyes, he took a brief moment to remember those moments of perfection when she would finally forgive him.

Nerves and excitement mixed and made his heart beat faster. The whole drive from the airport he had imagined how it was going feel to sweep her up into his arms again in a tight bear hug. Yet as he stood there at the door, he just hoped she would still answer it once she realized it was him.

The doorbell still had tape over it. Maybe that was another thing he could fix while he was here. After a firm rap on the door, he waited while shifting his weight from foot to foot. Turning, he took in the view. It was breathtaking, absolutely breathtaking. Even on a hazy afternoon like today, the other side of the bay was still visible.

The view could look so different depending what time if year it was. They had spent so many hours sitting out on the porch, talking late into the night, watching the city lights twinkle, the planes pass over head, and the stars shift slowly as the night hours flew by.

After a few minutes of staring off into the distance, a car driving by pulled him from his thoughts. He turned back to the door and gave another hard knock. This time he heard commotion inside. Several voices shouting at each other could be heard before movement in the window caught his eye. A little curly blonde head with two eyes and a nose peeked out from behind the curtain.

Well, this was a surprise.

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This is a reblog, since I can't find anything in my scroll anymore and Tumblr won't let me search my own blog.

This is also posted on AO3.