#i rly hope i have time to finish it this month for i am to be parted from my switch soon

[lovely-v]

it's crazy how skyward sword is becoming my favorite zelda game despite the fact that I've spent 2/3 of my time playing it suffering unbearably

[hoseoksluna]

STEAM | myg ft. jjk

pairing: boyfriend!yoongi x oc (feat. jungkook)

genre: smut

word count: 9.2k

summary: one video call awakens your neediness for two cocks.

playlist: steam / pinterest board: steam

warnings: female masturbation, mentions of shower sex, praise kink, toying with the idea of polyamory, a hint of voyeurism, oc rly goes through it and faces mental battles, fear, intoxication, punishment, dom/sub dynamics, fingering, choking, cum eating, manhandling, degradation, provocation, mutual masturbation, rough & raw sex, brief oral sex (f. receiving), pet names

note: IT'S FINALLY HEREEEEEE SKFDSFLSFJ, okay so—let me introduce to you a new yoongi series featuring JUNGKOOK oh my god. i am SO EXCITED about this and i wanna apologize for my insane ideas in advance... i'm so sorry, guys. nevertheless, i hope you like this as much as i do, i literally went mad writing this and i smoked so many cigarettes i lost count. please, let me kNOW UR FAVORITE PARTS CUZ I HAVE SO MANY AND I WANNA TALK ABOUT THEM. oh fuck, guys. ENJOY READING SDKFJSD. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

side note: btw, the playlist i made is literally perfect and depicts the fic wonderfully. you can listen while you read! <3

The scent of mangoes finds its way up your nostrils, heating your senses through its balmy touch as you rub the body butter over the damp skin of your arms. Fingers graze along your décolletage, tucking in the fragrance for your boyfriend to breathe in when he comes home. He’s out for the night—said something about his friend finishing his military service, so the whole group was going out to celebrate it. Yoongi was so frantic in his excitement, hastily putting on the first outfit that sparked his eye. Didn’t even touch his hair, only sprayed a mist of his sandalwood and tangerine-tinged perfume. Grabbed his phone, keys, wallet. Barely kissed you goodbye before he fled out of the door.

He didn’t even ask you if you wanted to come along.

You didn’t mind, though—you’re only in the early stages of your relationship. It hasn’t even been half a year since you’ve started dating. And you figure he deserves a night out with his closest friends because you’ve been attached to the hip since the beginning. Funnily enough, you no longer live at your own place. Somehow, you’ve settled in Yoongi’s apartment, never setting foot outside, save for your walks, grocery shopping, the few dates with your friends and work. There wasn’t any conversation about it; you just mostly spend your free time with your boyfriend.

And all you do is fuck, eat and watch movies.

The last time Yoongi took you out was during the first two months you’d been getting to know him. The realization of how long it’s been sends a trail of chills down your arms and you rub it away.

But because you’ve been spending all your time together, you’re glad to have a moment to yourself—glad to be able to take a long hot shower, to do your hair and skincare. Perhaps, you’ll even have time to do your nails and that energizes you, propels you to spread the body butter further down the rest of your body. It is your rose garden, these night times reserved for your hot showers. The place you go to—your hideaway from the pressure and nerves of life that the steam loosens and soothes, especially when you let your sultry playlist echo through the mightiness of Yoongi’s bathroom, your favorite singer’s voice reaching your veins like the growing stems of those roses; pretty, pink and so feminine. Yes, Yoongi’s therapy sessions and thick length might have been a great help, the best in fact, but there’s something about letting yourself be burned off of all that’s been weighing you down and watching it trickle down the drain that is just so satisfying.

It was all that you were once used to. That is, until you met Yoongi.

Showers with him are something else.

Something you never thought you could ever have the blessing to encounter. Showers with Yoongi are intense, so out of pocket that you find yourself thinking about them fondly whenever you’re alone with your thoughts. There, beneath the downpour of the warm water, he lets you see the other side of his ever unyielding stern façade. While holding you, he would make you laugh, then make you moan and break that sound with each hard plunge of his cock. Hair slicked back, smirk adorning that delicious wet mouth, causing him to look like a Mafioso bent on absolutely ruining you. He would tell you the most insane story he heard from his friend, then talk you through the build-up of your orgasm while continuing to the point of that story—seamlessly waving through, never losing tempo. “Then, he went up to his hyung to ask him about what he did—yes, just like that, honey, take it. I know you’re almost there, just listen.” You would come all over his cock, sprinkling him with your essence, right there at the end of his story and like a hungry man, he’d get on his knees and eat you up, muttering how good you are and how well you did along with each swipe of his tongue. Your lungs would heave due to the overstimulation, your legs would tremble, unable to stand and he’d gather you into his arms, fold you like paper into the crooks of his body and let his thick duvet drape over you. He’d fall asleep first, breathing in the scent of your shampoo, snoring softly behind you while spooning you, never letting go of his deathly grip around you. And while you would breathe in the haze of lilac sprayed on his pillows, you’d become aware of the drowsy rhythm of his heartbeat, the lift and fall of his chest against your back, the snug heat of his body and it would lull you to sleep.

That has become your new version of hot long showers.

And if it isn’t this, then it’s Yoongi letting you quickly wash yourself before he’d steal you away, dragging you into this bed, only to carry you back there an hour later.

You speculate he has a serious, adorable case of attachment issues.

That is why you enjoy your exceptional alone shower all the more—you haven’t had it in so long. Only this time, it’s quite different.

You feel him everywhere.

You feel him in the drift of your hand down your tummy because you recollect the way he likes to pepper kisses there on his way to eat you out. You feel him when you round your palms across your backside because you know he particularly likes to leave traces of saliva when he presses open-mouthed kisses there. His love for you circulates in your bloodstream, mingling with the little love you have for yourself, making it bigger, turning it into a turbulent rush of liquid. You sense it tapping beneath your skin, asking for more of your body just like Yoongi does, always begging, begging for more—for more skin to kiss and lick, for more sensitive parts of you to find and nibble on.

Your hands sense the ghost of him even when your fingers slip past your mound and realize that the film of your memories dampened your cunt. You hear the words of praise he’d utter into your ear at the discovery and you sigh at your tender touch. 

That’s a good girl. Messy for me. 

The rotund case of your body butter remains opened, forgotten. You suddenly have better things to do—like give your body the self-care, the self-love it deserves.

It’s a part of the solo girl's night.

A mewl comes out of your mouth at the first round of circles on your clit. Furrowing your brows at the pleasure, you prop your free hand on the edge of the bathroom counter, riding the pads of your fingers. And then, just like Yoongi taught you, you take your digits away, edging yourself, taking them elsewhere. You cry out at the contact of your wet fingertips on your stiff nipple and you pinch the nub, a spasm of delight coursing through your sensitiveness.

You imagine Yoongi standing behind you. Not touching you, merely guiding you, telling you when to stop, when to pick up the pace—when to fill your hole. Watching you in the mirror, hands in his pockets, having a perfect view of your slick-caked folds, of your clit swollen and asking for his tongue. Determined to make you lose your mind by teasing you, letting you only slap your pussy once you’re close. Your essence drips out of you at that thought, making a mess on the floor and you plug it in with your finger, fucking yourself steadily, inflamed by how slippery your heat is, how easy it is to slip the digit inside. Hot flashes close over your body, pearls of perspiration kissing the crook of your neck. You fuck yourself faster and—

A sudden ring of your phone jolts you. And the picture of your boyfriend, half dressed, with the early morning sunlight leaking over the scars and tattoo on his shoulder, crammed inside your screen, greets you.

You pant hard, your finger still inside of you. Delirious.

He must be on his way home. You don’t even know what time it is. 

Leaning forward, you hide your breasts behind your forearm and you swipe your finger to accept his video call.

Blurry Yoongi. The night sky, starlit and alive, behind him. A shoal of silhouettes, some lanky and some buff, all short-haired and all as woozy-lidded as you. The picture smooths into a crystal clear view and there you see your boyfriend, the nocturnal breeze brushing his ebony hair back. Not just him, however, but another male craning his neck to regard you fully. 

His eyes flicking from your neck to the smallest of your exposed décolletage, a smirk blossoming on his face like your imaginary roses. 

Yoongi slaps his phone face down. You withdraw your finger from your heat, a cacophony of giggles, whiny cries and the exclamations of his name emitting out of your mouth. 

He is not, in fact, on his way home. 

It is a warning, his low and strict call of your name back and, heeding it, you take your phone into your hands, so he’s only able to see your deeply flushed face. Device back in his hand, he’s not looking at you at all. As a matter of fact, he’s shooting daggers fueled with deadly nightshade at his friend, grumbling something that you can’t quite make out amidst the chaos and bustle of the outing. The shoal of the rest of his friends and strangers disappear out of the perspective, as if threatened by the cold energy. 

You wish you knew what he’s saying to him. Even your pussy aches to hear it. The principle of him scolding his friend for looking at you at your most private moment scorches you and you’re red, flattered and majestically horny. 

Yoongi turns his head to see if you’re well-behaved and you beam at him, the pulse on your clit intensifying, forcing you to say, “come home, Yoongi.” 

He chuckles, aware of the reason behind your words, pretends he isn’t. “What were you doing, baby?” 

The growth of your grin doesn’t falter. You show him the sheen of your wet finger in the ivory bathroom light, the glint, the stickiness as you push your index finger to your middle and pull away, your arousal on full, filthy display. 

He curses under his breath. Doesn’t give a fuck that his friend sits beside him and adjusts in his seat. Bites his lip briefly. “Stick it in your mouth for me.” 

Doesn’t say the words that so very often follow after in that sentence. Taste yourself. 

Why he doesn’t step aside to take this video call eludes you, but something about you being watched by two pairs of eyes excites you. Enough for you to do as he says. Perhaps it’s due to the fact you don’t know the male sitting beside him and Yoongi is letting him keep his sight glued to the screen. 

Two sharp inhales of breath. Not one of yours. Yoongi readies his hook to feignedly lash out at his friend and you press your thighs together to alleviate yourself of the unbearable feeling between your legs. Confidence, a bad, bad version of confidence suffuses you whole, turning you into a person gone mad by lust. You swirl your tongue around your digit, the tanginess of your taste causing your eyes to narrow, the principle of driving not just one, but two men mad just the same intoxicates you, as if you were there among them, drinking. 

A pair of round eyes peek at the corner of the screen. Soft, naive, so terribly innocent. A dash of sobriety washes over you, owed to those brownish effervescent orbs, a sprinkle shame pooling low in your core. A reality check. You sense some kind of stability of that reality beneath those eyelashes of his, the stability that whispers—is this the right thing to do? 

It’s not rough, it’s not stern, it’s not Yoongi coded—it’s anything but. Gentleness is what you detect, free of any prejudice. 

You sigh. Millions of thoughts about how you could toy with them pass through your mind, but you decide against them, the stability a pillar that blends into your spine, helping it unbend. You can’t do this; you can’t do this to Yoongi and you need to keep your dignity intact in some way, despite the fact that every fiber of your body compels you to do the opposite. You distract yourself by screwing the lid of your body butter back on. 

“Good girl,” Yoongi coos, causing you to whisk your eyes to the screen in perhaps disbelief, shame or your still pending arousal—you’re not sure. How can you be a good girl when you let another man see something so lewd? How can your boyfriend validate something like that? “One more beer and I’ll be home. Wait for me on the bed. As you are.” 

Naked. 

Heat rushes to your cheeks, to the surface of every part of your skin, dragging away small ounces of shame. You curse, mentally, running a hand down your face. Yoongi downs his drink without taking his gaze off of you, watching your reaction, adds once he swallows, “and don’t touch yourself.” 

And with that, he hangs up. 

The harsh comprehension of what the fuck just happened envelops you in a confining embrace, the precipitately increasing weight of shame now a burden on your shoulders that you just can’t shake off, even when you slink your arms through sleeves of your silky robe and welcome in the summer breeze coming to caress your face on the balcony—even when you burst your lighter to a flame and light up your cigarette, inhaling the smoke that you hoped would rid you of its such uncomfortable hold around you. 

You licked your cum clean under the gape of a guy you don’t know in front of your boyfriend. 

His friend heard the order. Don’t touch yourself. Yoongi didn’t whisper it. Didn’t camouflage his words in any way. Uttered them straight and bare, allowing his friend to hear them, despite the fact he almost fought him then and there for sneaking one glance at your moderately naked form. 

Question marks hover in your mind and the pulse on your clit cries, seemingly knowing the answer. 

Did Yoongi like it as much as you did, the aspect of having an audience? 

The wetness in your heat dribbles out, staining your thighs. You squeeze them together, the drag of your cigarette hard and long, expecting to feel your nerves burn off. You gain no such thing—no relief, no lifting of the burden, just constricting tangles in your tummy, zippy spasms of butterflies going mad, mad, mad. 

Perhaps Yoongi didn’t like it at first until he perceived the auspicious debauched look on your face. Saw the way you didn’t hesitate to oblige him when he told you to stick your finger in your mouth. And perhaps the fact that you didn’t express any signal of discomfort was the key to unfastening the leash on his possessiveness over you. 

What have you done? What have you so selfishly and disgustingly done? 

You hang your head in your hands, the white smoke intertwining with the burden on your shoulders and pressing down harder on you. 

That’s why he let his friend hear the command. Don’t touch yourself. He saw the way you indulged in it, and that awakened his liking for it.

Yoongi lied when he said he’d have one more beer. 

By the time you hear the thunder of his voice, all the roses in your garden have wilted, leaving faded, withered petals in its wake—leaving a path of your internal battle all around the apartment for Yoongi to follow. You’ve paced, your bare feet stepping on them. Tried to untangle yourself from the incarceration of your mind by chain-smoking, but to no avail. The only change that took place in your body was the decline of your shame, for you couldn’t help but imagine what could have happened, had you let free rein to your desire—had those round eyes never looked at you with such purity. You figured there wasn’t anything bad about letting your imagination be colored like that, and so you sat on your boyfriend’s couch, cigarette switched to a coconut-flavored vape, and dreamed.

You dreamed about those two men being of service to you, right here on the same couch, where they would lay you down and make you squirt over and over again, betting between each other who could make you come the fastest, counting down your orgasms until the number was a mere blur to you. 

The throb on your clit heightened to heavenly levels and when you emerged from your dream, you found yourself being able to breathe—your momentary disappearance tricking your shame into leaving. It was difficult for you not to touch yourself and you opted to adhere to Yoongi’s wish, not risking to feel worse than you already had. 

The war ended, undeterred by the fact you never expected it to. 

Loud swear words roar in Korean. You rise to your feet to open the front door for Yoongi and you discover that he’s not alone at all. 

The same pair of round eyes, the cause of all the ruckus you just departed from, meet yours, hauling you back there with a force. Your mouth falls agape and before you can react any further, Yoongi stumbles into you. You almost topple over, realizing you didn’t care to steal a glance at the state of him, but the male grabs a hold of Yoongi’s jacket and pulls him back. You wish you had tumbled over and the floor had opened up and swallowed you whole. It would have been less embarrassing than to be stuck in this situation. You want to run, you want to scream— 

“He’s drunk out of his own mind,” the male says, his voice deep like the warm wind before a tumultuous storm, fitting just right with the thunder of Yoongi’s intonation, his gaze wandering over the entirety of your shock-stricken face, taking it in; giving you the same attention that fucked you up hours ago. Yoongi begins to mumble something you can’t momentarily focus on, his hands grasping your waist, lips latching onto your neck. No, you cannot for the life of you focus because the man steals you all over again and you hate how easy it is for him to do that, when you’re far from being available. “Don’t ask what made him drink this much.”

Did Yoongi get drunk because he let his friend in on your most intimate moment? 

Humiliated, turned on and angry altogether, a concoction that simply worsens everything, you draw back from your boyfriend. You want to beat at his chest with your fists just to have some sort of relief from blaming him—because if you blame yourself, only doom consumes you. Why did he call you? Or, essentially, why didn’t he step away to take that damned video call? 

“Thanks for walking him home,” you say eventually, your voice smooth, despite the violence of your feelings, despite wanting to say something else entirely. Your first words to him and, wholeheartedly—despite it all, you hope they aren’t last, even if that possibly makes you a despicable person. 

Yoongi’s friend nods. Chews his bottom lip and lowers his gaze to the ground for a split second. You wonder if he feels the need to remove himself from this uncomfortable situation as much as you do because you can’t read anything in that paleness of his countenance. Not a hint of any emotion whatsoever, just blandness of expression, slightly dimmed by the few thick strands of black hair that have fallen from his disheveled, pushed back mullet. As if they did fight after all, perhaps on the way home, or wrestled if Yoongi was being difficult. 

You don’t realize you and the male are just staring at each other until Yoongi places his hand on your cheek, brushing back a wisp of your tresses. Only then do your eyes flick to Yoongi’s and you finally notice him, the gloss in his hooded irises searching and searching for you, the rosy blush on his cheeks, dry parted mouth and the dart of his tongue as he wets it, softening the flecks that have been created there. 

This is it. If you are focused on him, all things are made right—all things that have been stained get purified and dreams get turned into dust. This is the man you’ve fallen for, who puts you before himself and has done so every day since the moment he made you his. You can’t let anyone else get in the way of the home that your relationship has become, you can’t let your feelings flee—

“For the record,” Yoongi’s friend starts, hand massaging circles on the nape of his neck, the leather of his jacket tight around his arm. Your heart jumps and beats against your chest ferociously. “I didn’t see anything, if that helps you sleep better tonight.” 

It’s such a fat lie and you’re about to shake your head, but then he looks at you with such sincere regret that, ultimately, you choose to believe him. Just to keep your peace of mind unscarred. 

Yoongi tightens his hold around your waist, which grounds you, and a small part of you begins to bloom in healing, disseminating little by little across your whole body. 

A healer with big, round eyes. A good man. 

With a swing, Yoongi closes the door but you don’t hear the click. No, the light spills in from the hallway. Your hands reach for the doorknob but Yoongi blocks them and wraps them around his waist while swaying on his feet. He traces the shell of your ear with his lips, his alcohol-reeking breath wafting over you, and softly, you whine his name. Shuffling beyond the door, feet never entirely moving—the male is still standing outside and he hears as Yoongi hums at your call, as the sound grows into a groan at the feeling of being alone with you at last, at the feeling of all that makes you feminine under his hands. He hears your gasp as Yoongi pushes your chest flush to his body, kisses you harshly and cups your bare pussy. Hears the smack of your mouths, the pop once he withdraws, the squelch of your wetness. Hears as Yoongi murmurs, “you been horny, baby? Wet for me, hm?”

It’s those words that make him shut the door for you.

You made Yoongi drink a lot of water. 

And while he downed the glasses, you ordered him Thai food from his phone, which he now devours. You had wanted to change out of your flimsy robe into your plush pajamas, but Yoongi stopped you with a tight grip on your shoulder and with the nastiest puppy eyes he could manage, considering his plastered state, he begged you not to. Informed you that he wanted to fuck you in your little robe and you told him that if he wanted that, he needed to get sober. 

He’s your boyfriend and you trust him, but you don’t feel comfortable having sex with him while he’s wasted and you’re not. It’s a dangerous territory you don’t ever want to cross. 

So, now he eats as quietly as a mouse, feeding you every other bite with his chopsticks, meanwhile you’re jittering your leg with your arms crossed across your chest, mind full of the male who walked him home. Of the way he pulled you under and resurfaced with you soon after. Of the calm peace you feel all over the perimeter of your mind that peculiarly stresses you out. Of what would happen if you voiced your little dream to Yoongi, especially. 

Was it out of the question or would he consider it? 

Your leg jitters harder. 

You want to tell him, badly. Seeing his friend in real life changed fucking everything. If you hadn’t, you would’ve forgotten about it in the days to come. Yoongi would’ve fucked it out of you in most probability. But those eyes… those eyes got under your skin. 

“Stop fidgeting,” Yoongi scolds with his mouth full of food, no hint of slurring. The hot meal and hydration worked a miracle. “You’re making me nervous.” 

He picks up two cut pieces of chicken with his chopsticks and stuffs your mouth, adding a few pieces of vegetables as you’re chewing. Watches you swallow it, noticing how your eyes are focused on nothing in particular on the other side of the room. Tucking his utensils under his palm, he places his hand on your thigh, halting your restless motion. 

You still won’t look at him. Too lost in the overthinking maze, debating whether you should speak or remain quiet about your desire. A strong part of you fears his reaction and the other half is horrified at the possibility of being turned down—

Yoongi takes his hand away. Props it on his cheek. 

“I can see your pussy from here,” he says, licking his lips. “You’ve shaved?” 

You breathe a soft laugh, turning your head to face him, covering yourself with the small fabric. Dark, but tender eyes, void of any glossiness, awake and stirred—amused. Cheeks awash with color. Lips puffy, a dark tinge of red coating them. A sturdy fist on his cheek, the milky jawline underneath. That messy hair, the slicked-back look ruined by the constant rake of his fingers through them, now falling to the side from the middle. That slender body, clad in the night from head to toe—legs outstretched under the table. So fine, so delicious. A beautiful strong man—all yours. Why do you want another one? 

You slide your leg across his thighs and Yoongi slouches in his seat, discarding his chopsticks. 

“I shaved everything,” you respond, cocking your brow at him—a sly invitation for him to feel its smoothness. 

And he does. Runs his hand up and down your skin. Goes as far as lifting your other leg onto his lap, cradling them both, thumb caressing your calf. The movement causes your robe to expose you again and, cursing the fabric, you go to cover yourself, but Yoongi stops you. 

“Don’t bother,” he mutters. “I wanna look at it.” 

You raise your brows altogether, looking up at him. “You wanna look at her?” 

Yoongi smirks. That dangerous tug of one corner of his mouth to the side. Your death, your undoing, the root of your submission to him. “I want to have her at my disposal.”

You gulp and Yoongi catches it, chuckling. Drifts his hand down your calf, to your heel, to the middle of your foot up to your toes. He plays with your pinky. You note the fact he changed the pronoun after you did. 

Your arousal returns at full speed.

“Did that make you wet?” Low, low is his voice—you feel it prodding at your core, thrumming vehemently. 

You blossom like your roses, thoughts put to the side. 

“I’ve been wet this entire time,” you say, zeroing in your gaze on the flick of dimness that whirls past his eyes. “For hours.” 

He makes a sound of pitiful nature. “Poor baby.” Furrows his brows and juts his bottom lip out, making you weak. Lets his hand roam on your thigh. “So you listened? You didn’t touch yourself?” 

You merely nod your head quickly. You were too distressed to give your body the pleasure it sought. Too busy flaring your lungs with the burn of smoke. And you respected his wish enough to keep your hands to yourself. 

Yoongi coos. “Good girl.” 

A flashback—your lips wrapping around your slick-coated finger, Yoongi praising you and… another pair of eyes watching. Chills spread across your arms, your stomach flipping. Thankfully, your shame is kept at bay. It relieves you. 

“Can I feel how wet you are?” 

A sweet, devious smile. “If you can manage to get to her.” 

You press your thighs tightly together. Yoongi looks at you as if you’ve greatly offended him and alas, he turns your chair so you face him head-on. Forces your thighs apart without any strain at all—and there you feel it, the embarrassment of fucking with him, once your pussy is at complete disposal to him just like he wanted. 

“If your pussy wasn’t so pretty, I’d make you regret your words,” he purrs, eyes fixed on your drenched flesh, hands pushing your thighs back until your knees are at level with your shoulders, folds parting with the movement, revealing more of you. Yoongi wets his mouth with his tongue. 

He thumbs your gleaming lips back and forth, collecting your essence, mesmerized by them. Looks at you intently. 

“It wouldn’t hurt to say sorry, though,” he says, narrowing his eyes at you. “Would it?” 

You grin at him. “Sorry, Yoongi.” 

He rubs your swollen clit in slow circles, still with his bedewed thumb, still with his eyes on you. You choke out a moan at the delight permeating through your being. “That’s not the proper way to apologize, now is it?”

You lean your pelvis into his touch, a natural body reaction unfolding. He disapproves. You scrunch your face. “What should I say?” 

Yoongi tuts. “I’m barely touching you and you already forgot your manners?” 

The only answer you emit is an uncouth whine. 

He shakes his head, putting pressure into his circles for a mere beat of time before he slaps your pussy curtly. A vivid spasm of pleasure fills you and you moan. “Needy girl. Don’t I take care of this pussy enough? What’s this behavior?” 

Another whine. A roll of your body, asking for more of his touch. “Spank her again.” 

A cock of his brow. Harsh, stern, evil. His hand remains propped on his thigh, shoulders hunched. “I didn’t hear you say please. You wanna be bad? You want me to make you cry?” 

You know just how much he’s capable of doing that. You shake your head ‘no’. You want gentleness, the kind you saw in his friend’s eyes—

You flutter your own shut to get rid of that thought. Take a deep breath. 

“Spank my pussy again, please.” 

Yoongi massages the apex of your thigh, dangerously close to your cunt, squeezing the flesh every once in a while. 

“Apologize first.” 

“You didn’t tell me how.” 

He clicks his tongue and pinches your folds and your clit between his fingers. You cry out, and then Yoongi gets up to his feet, leaning over you, propping his hand on the back of your chair. He begins to swiftly spank your pussy over and over again. You just jump at every contact, moaning, eyes flicked to his, never breaking apart. Taking it, taking it so well that Yoongi kisses you nastily, licking into your mouth. Then, he grunts. Fingers flat against your clit, he moves them from side to side. Roses, a myriad of them, flood your form with their freshness and dewiness, with their beauty and delectation and you shudder, you scream, you arch your back off of the backrest—

“Say, ‘I’m sorry, Yoongi. I’m such a bad girl that I deserve every spank and I’ll take it until it hurts.” 

Flabbergasted and horny beyond measure, your mouth falls agape. Your brain turns into mush, the pleasure paralyzing you, your sounds now loud and obscene, the roses in you flitting, growing and murmuring. Yoongi adds more pressure to your clit and your eyes sink back into your head, his darkness wafting over to you, seeping into your skin—now completely yours. 

You repeat after him—word for word. With a simper on your face that causes him to scowl at you, as if you dared to toy with your punishment he bestowed upon you. But then, a tongue prods the inside of his cheek and he laughs, taking a hold of his dominant role and making sure you know. He spanks your clit twice in a row, hands lifting to fondle your nipples. 

“Good,” he praises. “You like that, don’t you? Spanks on your pussy?”

You don’t like that softness. Like the personified thunder he is, it is the calm before the storm. It unnerves you, the expectation of what might come next and your disliking of it. Nonetheless, you brim with the craving to have his fingers inside of you. Your hole clenches at that and Yoongi notices, hissing under his breath. The language of the darkness rises on your tongue and you figure that if you let loose, you’ll get your wish fulfilled.

“Yeah, it feels so good—” He pinches your nipples between his knuckles and you mewl, your lashes shaking at the impact, another set of wetness coating your folds. “Please, fuck me with your fi—”

You don’t even get to finish your sentence. Yoongi plunges his middle finger into your heat, cursing at your tightness, at how slippery you are and at the delight of being filled at last, you knit your brows. With his other finger, he traces the outline of your puckered mouth, his breathing hard and ragged. 

“I’ll do anything for that pout of yours, fuck, no matter if you deserve it or not,” he utters, slipping the digit inside. Instinctively, you suck on it and only then does Yoongi begin to pump you slowly. “You just need a little roughness to be good, don’t you?” 

Dumbly, you nod, swirling your tongue around him, but a faint, silenced part of you begs for the gentleness that you know hides somewhere deep inside his chest, never once unfurled during such intimate times. 

You pay it no matter, too fucked out to think. 

When he adds a second finger into your heat, he does the same thing with his other hand. Two fingers in your cunt, two fingers in your mouth. And he fucks you with both until you gag and a light flashes in his eyes—then, he withdraws all together, leaning against the table, his bedewed fingers coming to rest at his hardened length in his pants. 

Roses, opening. Roses, sighing. 

You breathe heavily, needing to finish, needing to have him in your mouth—

“You liked being the center of attention today?” he husks, surveying your whole body, bent in half. 

There it is—the storm. Just what you expected. Cold sweat dribbles down your spine. And it is fear, what you feel, even when you refuse to admit it. Stiff, tempered fear that pervades each and every vein on your body, regarding being possibly degraded, being made feel dirty—regarding, even, tasting the dark wine of his wrath. 

Such a stark, sudden change. 

You don’t want this. You don’t want any of it.

Abruptly, an internal question comes and pokes you in the middle of your forehead.

Will you succumb to it or will you, with the wildly fresh darkness within you, fight against it?

You take a deep breath, and in with the air also follows, with the little rationality you have amidst the sensuality of your lecherous appetite, the decision to take a hold of it all. To take charge. Just like he did.

You shall prioritize yourself. Your feelings, your desires—your roses.

Your choice envelops your fear in bubble wrap. It doesn’t dissipate. And as much as it pains you, you take a mental note of that. 

“I did,” you spit out, angered by the fact you’re afraid of your boyfriend, and so you stand your ground. “It made me so fucking needy and I want more.” 

The relief that hits you almost causes you to weep and you lower your legs to the ground. Not wanting him to see the film of tears clouding your eyes, you avoid his gaze. Yoongi crosses his arms across his chest and clicks his tongue at you, disapproving. 

“Keep your legs where they belong.” 

“No.”

A lift of his brow. He crouches down to your level and cradles your face in his hand, forcing you to look at him. And there he sees, under the waterfall of your hair, your emotions at his disposal. Yoongi studies you, frowns at you and you want to sob, you want to go home. Shame slithers towards your spine like a ghost, and although it keeps a distance, you feel its presence prickling your back. You cover your cleavage. 

“Why are you crying?” Yoongi asks, a silky murmur, eyes flicking between yours. His fingers don’t caress your skin; they merely hold you firmly, making dents in the skin. 

You don’t trust that voice, dismayed by what might lie under. 

“Why did you do that to me?” you ask in return, and it’s a blue fire shooting out, engulfing the room in stifling heat. You catch a glimpse of its sparks in the dimness of his eyes, of how he’s momentarily stricken by it before it folds beneath the shadows.

“You want to get fucked by someone else?” 

A question for a question. 

You swallow down the lump in your throat, caused by your frustration. 

Your devotion to him didn’t let you go as far as to imagine being fucked by his friend while Yoongi watched, but the brief flash of it in your mind is enough incentive for the heat to spill into you, mingling with the darkness, turning you candescent, traveling through you until it finds your core—and there, it stays. There, it finds home. 

The pulse on your clit returns, filling you with abrupt energy. 

There’s something about him coming up with it that makes you unhinged, but you’re so utterly sick of the instability of your feelings. You need it to stop.

“And what if I do?” you retort. “What will you do?” 

Truthfulness, at last.

Yoongi takes in a sharp inhale of breath, and that is the only reaction you receive from him. Nothing else on his face flickers; no wrath, no sliver of jealousy, not one thing. You stare at an empty canvas, ready for you to paint on. And you simply decide that you want to start. 

You push his hand away from your face. Stand up to your feet. But the hardened look he gives you inclines you to sit back down. 

You fight against it. 

Untangling the knot on your robe, you let him see your bare femininity. The perkiness of your breasts, the long dip of your stomach that he likes to pepper kisses on. Yes, you’re aiming for his weakness. 

And you decide to repeat history. 

You reach your hand down, lower and lower while he stares you down, and you collect your glimmering essence. Sinking your finger into your mouth, you make a show of rolling your eyes back and moaning faintly, softly. Your other hand, in the meantime, unbuttons his pants. 

The breath Yoongi inhaled hitches in his throat. 

“Is this not evidence enough?” you purr, dragging down his zipper. “How else am I supposed to show you?” 

You pull his manhood out as you suck on your finger, all while maintaining eye contact. You don’t touch him beyond that. In fact, you withdraw your hand altogether. 

And then, you collect your essence again. 

This time, you smear it across his bottom lip. Yoongi lets you. Your heart thuds, threatening to jump out of your chest. 

“Your actions during the video call told me everything,” you whisper, catching the sliver of wooziness scattering along his narrowed eyes. “And I think you liked it more than me—the thought of sharing me. You can’t hide it. Not when I saw it.” 

Yoongi growls. Then, he surprises you. 

He parts his lips for you. 

And the contact of the pad of your finger with his wet tongue coaxes a string of your dewiness to drip down the side of your thigh. You moan for him. Relieved, fucked up, woozy just the same. Finally, finally, finally. 

You’re in charge. And it feels divine. 

His length twitches against the fabric of his T-shirt. Long, hard, drooling. Such a delight for you—and so you continue. 

“I also think it made you hard. Not just because you called me when I was touching myself, but because your friend was right there beside you,” you purr, your voice a seductive sound of silk—leading him to wrap his lips around your digit. You moan for him, showing him how much you like that. “Isn’t that right, baby?” Your walls clench at the pet name, solely due to the fact that these soft terms of endearment have always been addressed to you, never the other way around. It thrills you. “I’d always be devoted to you, even if he fucked me. I’d look at you the entire time. If that’s what you want. I had a different idea, but yours is just—” you pause, and again you make a show of sighing and rolling your eyes back, “better.” 

A straight hit to his core. A glee for you. 

But you don’t realize how much you fucked up until Yoongi grips your waist and the hold hurts enough that you wince. 

And then—then he manhandles you. 

Lifting you and laying you down on the table, Yoongi spreads your legs. Watches you drip, watches as the satiny fabric follows the movement of your limbs and reveals you in all your entirety. He pulls you closer to him with a sharp tug until you collide with the tops of his thighs. Bends over you. Hovers his lips above yours. You expect him to kiss you—he even angles his head and rubs the side of his nose against yours—but he never does. 

He only leaves you waiting. Leaves you submitted to your empty expectations, taking charge, taking his control back from you. You shiver in anticipation, reaching for him, however he pins your hands down on either side of you. An angel in a rose garden. 

Yoongi chuckles, darkly, his teeth glinting in the yellow light. You fight against his hold, hips rolling against the underside of his length, beckoning him to do something, anything. You merely manage to prolong the thunder of his laughter. 

“One cock isn’t enough for her, so baby wants two,” he spits. That smirk, the crinkles around his eyes—he’s enjoying this. The hint of degradation doesn’t reflect what’s swarming inside of him, doesn’t reflect the face of pleasure coursing down his body. You smile and he scoffs. “I have enough friends for you to choose from in case you want more. I think you’d be stellar at taking three cocks. Four, even, huh? Would you have enough then? One in your tight little virgin ass, two in your cunt, one down your throat?” 

You gulp, frozen, eyes widening. 

Yoongi bites his shiny lips, nudging the tip of his nose against yours. Kisses you once. Begins to rock his hips, his length sliding across your wet fleshiness. The moan that escapes your throat trembles with each delicious motion. 

“You watch too much porn, honey,” he coos, giving you tiny kisses on the mouth. “I’d kill anyone who would come near this pussy. And I’d kill Jungkook, too, if he so much as glanced at her.” 

So that’s his name. You mewl, knitting your brows. That’s his pretty name. The entirety of your form shivers at the discovery, at the pleasure given to your throbbing clit. 

Yoongi pulls back, setting your hands free. 

You prop your elbows on the table, pouting. Yoongi grasps his length, spreads his arousal and begins to jerk himself off. 

“You’re not fucking Jungkook. You’re mine.” He groans, squeezing his tip; your hole clenches. “Rub your clit.” 

Like him, you spread your arousal on your seashell, the arousal long caused by his presence and now the mention of his name—the reason behind your frustration and his, the reason why you’re spread on the dining table, why your boyfriend is hard. You rub your clit from side to side, amused. 

“No,” Yoongi disapproves, knowing you do the motion when you want to prolong the build-up. “Circles. Make yourself come.” 

You change direction, obeying him. A sly grin blossoms on your lips, dark eyes looking up into his, permeating them, permeating into his soul. You pick up the pace, moaning into your expression of elation. 

“Jungkook is such a pretty name,” you provoke and you heighten your sounds in volume and intensity just to piss him off, just to have your way. 

A grunt escapes him, matching your pace. He wraps his fingers around your throat and squeezes. You hum. 

“A pretty name to moan in my opinion.” A layer of sweat coats your body. Yoongi grasps your jawline firmly and your satisfied laughter inches you closer to your orgasm. You feel the hot flashes, roses surrounding you—its tender petals grazing your feverish skin. You give in, watching Yoongi do the same, his mouth in a tight line, hissing and sizzling, an open fire, an open fire you want to be radiated by, burned whole by. “Just imagine him here, watching us. Oh my god, imagine him knowing he’s the reason why you and I are doing this.” 

Yoongi has had enough. 

He pushes you down harshly. Fills your hole to the hilt without letting you adjust, observing himself disappearing inside of you and begins to pound you into the table. The sound of skin slapping, the hard and quick strokes, the ravaged grunts he lets out, the fast change—it all takes your breath away, so much that you can’t, in fact, breathe. He grabs your face and makes you look at him. The dead of the night captured in his features, you absorb it, whining like the brat you are onto his mouth, mingling into your noises your approval, your yes’. 

Swallowing it, he kisses you, keeping his eyes open. “He could never fuck you like this.” 

You laugh. He swallows that, too, moaning. “What if he could?” 

He taps you on the cheek, a warning, giving you an exceptionally hard stroke that causes you to scream. He pauses. Does it again. Over and over—and your screams echo across the room, your own soul slipping out of your body. Petals flutter against you and you’re done for, hanging off the edge. You’re close, so terribly close. Your eyesight blurs and Yoongi pulls out entirely and rams into you. Again and again, abusing your cervix. 

You moan his name, gone—entirely gone. 

“Yes, moan my name like that. Just mine,” he mutters. “Who’s fucking you this good? Who’s gonna make you come?” 

He rams into you more rapidly than before. Your senses leave you until all that you know is Yoongi. His name, his scent, the wholeness of the night encompassing him. 

“You, Yoongi, you. Fuck, I—”

Yoongi laughs maniacally. “Yes, that’s right. That’s my good girl.” 

He rolls his hips, slowing down the coming of your orgasm, owning you. Lets your senses come back to you momentarily. You swallow, your throat dry and you blink, dazed still. Yoongi kisses you, giving you all that he took from you. 

“Who’s only capable of fucking you like this, honey, hm?” he asks, his voice tender and sing-song. “My pretty honey, so fucked out. So out of it.” 

You whine and you don’t control what comes out of you, your body answering for you. “You, Yoongi. You’re fucking me so—so good. I can’t—fuck. You’re the only one.” 

He smiles down at you fondly, kissing your nose, then your lips, parting your mouth and swirling his tongue around yours briefly. Then he withdraws, begins to fuck you again, slowly, reaching to the side for something. 

Once you see his phone in his hand, your heart stops. And when he puts the device to his ear, your throat dries up even more. You suddenly become aware of the silence all around, especially in your chest. You can’t breathe, you can’t blink—

Yoongi jackhammers into you, purposefully luring your loud noises out of you. “My girlfriend wants to fuck you.” 

You gasp, squeezing your eyes shut, the suddenness, the quickness of pleasure you haven’t yet felt piercing you. Fuck hot flashes and petals, you feel a heavy urge of your orgasm closing down on you. 

“She’s so desperate for you, even when I’m fucking the life out of her.” 

You flutter your eyes open to see Yoongi surveying you. You scrunch your face—so close, so fucking close—and then he puts the phone to your ear. Breathing, hard, ragged breathing fills all of your senses and you come. 

It’s an explosion. Roses bursting, their dew soaking you and Yoongi whole and you exit. You exit out of this situation, this world, this universe while your soul remains here with them. Vibrancy, colors so beautiful and sensations so vivid, ardent and fierce. You don’t know what it is you’re feeling or where you are. That is, until Yoongi’s voice yanks you back to planet Earth, back into this world, this situation—back to them. 

“In fact, she just came for you. Squirted.” 

You sob. Overstimulated, rhapsodic, but effulgent. Yes, you emit light and glow. You can see it in Yoongi’s softened eyes. 

“Think about it. No pressure. Just know she won’t shut up about you. I recall her saying your name would be pretty to moan while she played with her pussy. I think it’s only right you fuck it out of her.” 

With that, he hangs up. 

You brim with so many emotions that it numbs you. Happy tears flow out of your tear ducts—and happily, endearingly, Yoongi chortles. You don’t even feel humiliation or shame. On the contrary, you’re ready to come again. 

Yoongi kisses you and the sounds he slips into your mouth divulge how happy he is about this, how pleased he is with himself. 

You pout, burning your eyesight into his. He begins to rut into you. 

“What, you’re not even gonna thank me?” he says, grinning, as if he wasn’t fucking you at all, as if you two were still sitting at the dinner table, conversing. 

You stammer, head empty, silencing yourself and trying again. “What—what made you change your mind?” 

Yoongi places open-mouthed, wet kisses along the bone of your jaw, and there he seals his answer. “I made up my mind the moment you admitted you wanted to be fucked by him, but you wouldn’t shut up about him. I wanted to hear you babble for me. About me. I just had to mess you up to get to that point.” 

You mewl, running your hands through his sweat-slicked hair. Like a cat, he perks up to your touch, lifting his head, angling it. He kisses you, deeply. Kisses your relief. 

“Where are your manners, hm?” he whispers onto your mouth, giving you hard strokes that erase your vocabulary. You want to make him come and so you push against his thrusts, but to no avail. The intensity won’t allow you. 

“Thank you, Yoongi,” you murmur, cradling his face, pecking him, giving him the softest eyes you could muster so you can show him how much it means to you. 

He approves of your effort on bettering your manners and to reward you, he lifts you up and fucks you in the air. Your breasts bounce against the material of his T-shirt, stimulating you and he alters between jackhammering into you and sliding you up and down on his length. Your pussy squelches around his girth, tightening and Yoongi—

Yoongi loses his mind. 

And it’s him who begins to babble when you snap your hips down on him in circles. 

“Just like that, honey, oh fuck. So good, so good for me.” 

He takes it until his sounds grow in volume and you focus so much on his pleasure that you forget about yours. 

But you don’t let him take charge. 

“Let me fuck you, please, Yoongi. I wanna make you come.” 

Just like you, he’s out of it and because of that, because you asked so nicely, he lets you. 

His chest heaves, staccatos of his choked out breaths sail through the room and you can see it on his face that he’s close. Brows furrowed, bottom lip bleeding due to the way he bites hard on it, the way his mouth pops open and his eyes flutter closed. 

You hold onto his neck with your dear life. 

“Look at me,” you demand and swirl your hips in slow circles around his tip. “I want you to look at me when you come.” 

You’re so stunned that he allows you to be in charge, even more when he truly does open his eyes and pierces his gaze into yours. 

“I need to pull out,” he breathes, but you shake your head, snapping your hips down on him harshly.

“No, I want your cum in me. And I want it to be inside of me when Jungkook fucks me.” 

Yoongi grunts and this is it for him. His cock twitches in you, over and over again and then you feel it—the hot, thick ropes of his cum stuffing you full. You’re so mesmerized by the feeling, by the blissfulness evident on his face, by the smoothness between his brows at last that you can’t even milk him dry. You’re frozen, stupefied by his beauty, by his personal rapture and you want to feel it in unity with him. You kiss him. 

It’s him who fucks him cum into you, burying it deep, moaning into your lip lock. 

It’s him who lays you down to your original position and briefly, feebly licks the sheen on your spread lips before devouring your clit. 

It’s him who gives you the fastest orgasm of your life. 

And it’s him who tells you—in the shower—the story of how he almost beat up Jungkook black and blue once he heard him say how pretty you are.

And it’s you who checks up on him. 

“You sure you’re okay with this?” 

You’re stroking his hair in the bed, the duvet heavy and warm around your body and his, the night overflowing into morning—Yoongi, too. 

He’s falling asleep, but still conscious, still here with you, purring. 

“I wouldn’t be waking him up in the middle of the night if I wasn’t,” he whispers, opening his eyes to look at you, to see you enveloped in the extra blanket of the dawn’s rosy light—glowing, throwing the sun off of its throne. “Poor guy just got out of the military and you’ve already rocked his world.” 

You smile, fondly, thumb caressing his temple. Yoongi hums in appreciation. 

“I’m happy for him he’s getting pussy—one that’s mine. Before he enlisted, he spent all his time painting and getting drunk alone,” he pauses in a thought, blinking at the light. “You still want this?” 

You nod, settling into his chest. Yoongi pulls you closer, tucking the duvet into the lines of your form, bringing in comfort and sleepiness. 

“I’ll make sure you have the time of your life. I’ll be here the whole time, taking care of you,” he promises against your hair and you squeeze him. 

“He hasn’t said yes, though. He could turn me down.” 

“I’ve seen the way he looked at you. You have nothing to fear. He’ll come to you like a puppy.” 

Yoongi sinks the promise onto the plane of your forehead and holds you as you drift to sleep. Happy, relieved, steamed off of all the negative things you went through. It evaporates into the dawn—far, far away from you. 

© 2024 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved.

BACK to masterlist / READ part two 

[colesluvr]

Hi can I request kai X male reader

Where Kai is having a bad day or something and male reader comforts him

Bad Days | Kai Smith x Male Reader

HEY ANON!! i rly hope you enjoyed this and it made sense to your req, I'm horrible with these and I am trying to get better, lol. Also I'm sorry if it seems rushed, I got many more req to get through, but I tried my best with this one :]

You were silently reading when the door burst open, a figure stormed through. That 'figure' was nobody but your boyfriend. "Kai?" You yelled after him, closing your book.

Cole entered the scene, watching Kai storm off to whereever. He noticed you moments later and smiled, "Hey, Y/N."

"Cole?"

"Hm?"

"What happened?"

The team recently came back after a mission, a unsuccessful one at that. The Mechanic robbed a jewelry store with his 'out of the ordinary' noodle truck.

Unfourtuently, he got away...and Kai blames himself. The others tried to tell him it wasn't his fault, and they'll get him next time. However, Kai was in no state for 'talking'. He pushed them all away until they reached the Monestary.

"And yeah, Kai blames himself for the Mechanic escaping with the jewels. He won't listen to us, but maybe he'll listen to you?" Cole finished explaining, now walking toward the kitchen.

"Nya?" You called and she hummed in response, entering the room. The others followed behind closely. "Have you tried talking to him? I know your his sister, so maybe he might listen to you more then us?"

Nya chuckled, "You would say that, but he's not listening to me. No matter what I say. Your his boyfriend, Y/N. We see how much he loves talking to you. He's not the one to 'open up to others' but he's really close to you."

She tapped your shoulder gently before walking away.

You thought for a moment before sighing and going back to your book. He needs to let off some steam or else he'll burn me to a crisp. You told yourself, losing your train of thought as your read the words in the book you were reading.

-

Hours passed and it was dinner, finally. Maybe you could talk to Kai then? Nope. Turns out he wasn't anywhere at the table. He's usually the first one here, or 3rd depending on his mood, but he's always here.

"Where's Kai?" You questioned, looking at the team who ate their food. "I don't know." Jay shrugged, "Probaly still mad over something that wasn't his fault, for the 50th time this month." He took another bite of food.

You bounced your leg, rubbing your arm in worry. You know Kai and when he's like this there's no telling what he might do. You saw his plate on the kitchen counter and decided to finally speak to him.

You pushed your chair back and excused yourself from dinner, taking your plate and tossing the leftover food in the trash and your plates in the sink.

The others watched silently as you took Kai's plate and left the room.

-

"Kai?" You called his name out softly, knocking on his door with your knuckle ever so softly. "Kai, It's me." Knowing that will do little, you still thought he should know it's only you.

"Come on, you have to eat, babe." You spoke softly, waiting for a response.

Nothing.

Not even a groan, or a complaint.

You sighed. Grabbing the door handle and twisting it, slowly opening the door. When you opened the door and when you entered it was pitch black.

It was also really, really cold. you looked around the room.He didn't seem to throw a fit in here, actually it seemed kinda clean. Not what I was expecting. You told yourself, but you shook that thought out of your head. If Kai wasn't here, where did he go?

You entered the room slowly, placing the plate on a dresser beside he's bed. Your eyes scanned the room until your eyes locked on the open window.

You peeked your head out of the window to see Kai out in the courtyard. He was beating a punching bag like it owed him over due money.

You could tell he was overusing his power, his hands were burning a bright fire. He was sweating from head to toe. You quickly made your way outside to the courtyard. The moonlight mixed with Kai's fire light, along with the inside of the Monestary was the only thing lighting up the place.

"Kai?"

"What?" He grumbled.

You said nothing. Unsure what to say. You fiddled your fingers, figuring out what to say.

"Uhm. I know...your not feeling great. I just wanted to say-"

"I'm fine." He glared. His voice was husky and it sounded like he hadn't drink water for days.

"Kai. I'm worried about you."

"What's there to worry about, I'm fine."

You glared at him, grabbing his bicep and forced him to look at you. As you did, he's hand was on fire but you were to blind to notice. When you spun him around, he almost slammed his hand to your cheek but he stopped himself.

You both toppled over, landing on the ground.

"Fuck, Y/N!" He growled, getting up as you stood to your feet. "I could have burned you, are you stupid?!" He got close to your face, pinning to the wall surrounding the Monestary.

"Kai-Calm down."

"YOU CALM DOWN!" He growled, pulling away from you and you noticed his ears turn red.

"I know you think what hapepned today was your fault, but it wasn't! what's it got to take to make you beileve that?" You spoke quietly, not wanting to piss him off more then he already is.

"How about him not getting away in the palm of my hand! I couldn't get to him in time, I could've done something to stop him or-or slowed him down so I can-"

He paused, pinching the bridge of his nose.

It was quiet for moment.

You pulled yourself away from the wall, circling around him to face him. "What if...there wasn't more 'I'?" You suggested. Kai slowly managed to pull his head up and look at you, "What?"

"We're a team for a reason, Kai. Me, you, Lloyd, Cole, all of us. There was an 'I' we do things together. It wasn't you who let the Mechanic get away. You all tried your hardest and you'll get him next time."

"But..." Kai pants, "But I was the closest to stopping him. It's my fault he got away-"

"It's nobody's fault, Kai." You laughed, placing a hand on his shoulder. You saw he's eyes start to water and his lips teembles, but it was like he refused to cry.

"It's okay." You mouthed and he gently smashed his face into the crook of shoulder and you felt his body shake as he took a deep breath in and out.

You hugged him tight, not letting go until he stopped crying or felt the need to let go.

[hydn-jpg]

HELLO!!!

i am back!! sorry for dropping off the face of the earth again :'0 i was dealing with mental health stuff but i am okay now. the horrors persist but so do i and all that haha

anyway! i spent the past few months focusing (as much as my adhd allowed me to ,, ) on school and writing my thesis, and also spent some time in canada for my research project!! it was a really nice experience and i met some rly cool people too :D

as of writing this it's been a week since my exams finished and almost a month since i submitted my final thesis so that's great! i really feel like i can finally breathe again haha. i poured my blood, sweat, tears and probably other bodily fluids into it too so i hope everything goes well! (emphasis on blood bc my nose literally started bleeding while i was doing my exam ;; lmao)

it's good to be back! does this mean i will be back to posting art? YES absolutely!!! (will be posting one in a few hours :^) ) i'll need to read the new books and recent chapters to get material to draw more relevant stuff but i do have a few pieces that i drew before/during my hiatus that i'll post in the meantime! i have a lot to catch up on but i'll get there haha (especially id2!! idec if it's bad i just wanna see cas and gabe my beloveds :'0 i couldn't stop thinking abt them lately and i've only been doodling them,, ahhh)

i will be more active from now! i really miss posting and interacting with y'all :'D i have reserve forces training to attend next week but other than that i shouldn't have any other pressing matters so i'll be able to spend more time on tumblr!

to everyone i owe something to, i will send a message soon!! and by soon i mean literally after i post this lol. thank you for all your patience!!

[lockem]

HIII LOVE!! ok so I’ve been in dire need of some overwatch fics I have so many ideas but one rly stands out for me could you do Moira x Fem reader or non binary if you prefer, where reader is slowly falling into a sort of “depression” state because of moiras neglect for them over her work ? Maybe ending in mega fluff lol I appreciate and adore your writing (if you ever are itching to write message me I come up with prompts out of my ass lol)

Moira x Reader

I tried my best, I didn't want to put a specific gender for the reader so anyone can enjoy it!! Hope you like it!!

angst !! +comfort ?

“Do you really care about me? or was that just another one of your lies Moira?” _

She keeps reassuring you, that once her work finally clears up that she’ll make it up to you. But that never happened now did it? Every time you ask her to spend time together or atleast take a break, she always makes such empty promises.

“Not now darling, I’m busy. Gabriel wants this done before the end of the week. I promise that I’ll make it up to you” 

“After this, we can continue that little show you always watch.”

Every single time, and yet here you are holed up in a small room, with only the sounds from the tv whispering. You’d miss how you and Moira would spend time together, how you’d go on little dates, or hold eachother and whisper sweet nothings as you’d fall asleep together. But that had been months ago, Moira always making excuses, distancing herself from you while she drowns herself in more and more experiments. 

An icky feeling in the back of your head forming, “What if she’s grown tired of me. What if she’d replace me with one of her subordinates? That cute assistant? Or what if she really hates me now. She’s always said she isn’t one for affection— what if—” 

What a foolish feeling. Sounds like something Moira would say, it just hurts to think about. So many “what ifs”, so many scenarios filling your head, “It doesn’t matter anyways, she’s probably leaving me soon, who am I to think I’d deserve to be someone like her, she’s so amazing, intelligent and beautiful.. She’ll probably choose that new assistant of hers over me—” Soft tears rolled down your cheeks, your room feels awfully cold, soft sniffles could be heard as the room lights up, the lights from the tv illuminating your tear struck face.

“Are you still watching?”

The show has finished. You couldn’t even pay attention in watching the finale, you’d been too busy, thinking about her, thinking about Moira. As you’d reach for the remote, you heard soft knocks on your door.

“Darling? Are you in there?”

Ah… Speaking of which, she’s here, outside your door, still calling you the same old name, so sweet. Hearing no answer, Moira lets herself in, gazing upon your tearstruck face.

“Darling.. Are you okay? What happened, I’m here now” she holds you, the same way she always did, with so much care, so gentle, it makes you feel like you're made of glass. Unlike her experiments, she’s always taken such good care of you. As soon as she held you in her arms, the tears began flowing, you’d miss her. She’s missed you. It’s like when she distanced herself and buried herself in work she’d broken you into pieces.

But now that she’s here, loving you as she did before, it feels like she’d put you back together. Gluing pieces of your relationship together, trying to keep it from falling apart. “I’m so sorry my dear, I know I’ve been distant for a while, I just wanted to finish everything, so I can hold you as long as I want. I am so sorry my dear, I didn’t mean to, I promise this won’t—” words cut short, shutting her up from her ramble of apologies, oh how you’d love her voice, her warmth, her presence, you missed kissing her. 

You didn’t care anymore, those jealous thoughts vanished as she held you. Moira didn’t care about her work anymore, you were here and so was she. She was going to make it up to you. So as the tv flickered off, the lights went, just the two of you together again was enough. You held each other in the dark, whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ear as you both nodded goodnight.

[skyrimgeolocator]

opinions on oblivion or morrowind? (or arena / daggerfall if u like those)

arena i tried out but i couldnt get a handle on the combat very well :(. 6 minutes playtime

i havent played daggerfall tho i do have it. 0 minutes playtime

morrowind i really need to play more of, cause it looks really interesting and I love Morrowind as a place, but I struggle w directions a Lot and it doesn't have map markers of any kind. 3.9 hours playtime

oblivion i rly rly enjoy, its goofy and intuitive and I don't know nearly as much abt the game as I do skyrim so I get to experience new things. 38.6 hours playtime

and even tho u didnt ask:

skyrim is nostalgic but i mostly have it downloaded for this blog at this point, I don't like to repeat things in games a lot and at this point I've done the majority of the stuff it has to offer. i am trying a locked tomb rp run tho! 10 hours combined playtime (basegame and special edition. i also have vr edition but I don't have a vr headset. this is on steam, ive played significantly more on console but I no longer have access to that console)

eso is really fun for me, but its one of those games where I get really focused on it for a little bit and then don't touch it for months. often ill get rly annoyed while playing cause ill find smth that doesn't quite make sense in the lore (reachmen in the rift & the companions being based out of the rift? ig i could see it being a splinter cell of the companions, but i don't see how they could properly justify the reachmen being there. i didn't finish that questline tho) and the combat can get repetitive (hit it a bunch of times. if i die use one of the hundreds of soul gems i bought of the player market, which incidentally i can use to resurrect myself. try fighting again if its a boss, or just walk to the end of the cell while I'm a ghost), and some of the balancing is fucked (that one quest in black marsh where you have to do the trials, and you have to take poison and then win a fight. googled how to beat it. "wait for another player"). 23.9 hours playtime

blades is also rly fun for me but I keep forgetting to charge my switch :(

legends was interesting but i find card games confusing a lot. 20 minutes playtime

haven't played redguard, tho i do have it

havent played battlespire, tho i do have it

trying to get an emulator to try out the travels games

hoping to play castles if/when it comes out

thank you!! im doing decently well, im visiting my partner right now :3. I hope you're doing well too!!

[averseunhinged]

tagged by @stars-and-darkness!

do i have about a thousand more 1/2-3/4 finished pieces of fan fiction, but ran out of room? glad you asked! let's not discuss it.

propaganda!

24/7 sylvia plath series (i would v much like to finish the next one in the series and then not think about this at all for at least a month) the original | several | other | snippets

s3 arranged marriage (which i'm rly pushing to finish the first half of this week, but am losing weds and probs thurs to travel, so you know. life.) snippet

dismantling a terrorist organization for fun and profit (also: an ode to pop music in four parts) snippet

batshit cosmic horror soulmates (there is genuinely something wrong in my brain) snippet

liz/carol closeted lesbians (was supposed to be for femslash february, but it's canon, and i cried writing the ending and didn't want to bring sad dead lesbian energy)

klaroline originals canon-divergence soulmates (so self-indulgent! a total comfort write for me. super long for a one shot and weirdly Hayley's pov)

post-tvdu canon caroline/rebekah (rebekah does the most normal thing she's ever done and gets a slightly salty divorce from marcel. then she does a less normal thing and falls for the woman her dead brother loved.)

blood sharing smutty literature ft. klaus classique (caroline makes a devil's bargain b/c i wanted to write something in the spirit of old school klaus)

dragon age obligatory post-trespasser (hawke survives being left in the fade b/c of the truth of the deal she made with mythal at the beginning of DA2, participates in the revolution. a tiny bit of hawke/solas, but mostly bittersweet hawke/varric.)

doctor/river/rose immortal marrieds (started with rose: oh hello. nice to meet y-- river: I'VE BEEN WAITING TO DO THIS FOR CENTURIES riverrose: suddenly making out, because i wanted river to have a NICE time loop for once in her life, and it's turned into a whole thing about the difficulties of three immortals being very married across two tardises and all of time and space.)

doctor/bad wolfy rose + time lady mia meditation on parenthood (i headcanon the time lord doctor and the metacrisis having the same telepathic signature. which i think would be super hard for mia. like can you imagine constantly thinking a beloved parent is with you before remembering they've been dead for centuries? and for the doctor to constantly feel like he has a daughter again, except he got the grief and torture package instead of the pleasant retirement universe? a delicious angsty but hopeful snacky.)

riverrose sekrit favrit crackship otp forever (i think it's probs likely that an all powerful cosmic entity trying to coexist with mortals without melting everyone's brains would have some struggles being present and making herself understood.)

[sehunniepotwrites]

NIKKI YOUR TEASER 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 icb i opened the app to this 🤩 i can't wait to read all that u have in your drafts fr but goodness me jae's one sided love rly hits differently 🫢 sometimes i just wonder if he's the kind to uk approach his feelings for s/o proactively or keep it lowkey and just be the kind to take care of them from the side esp in these situations where he knows it's one sided 🧐

and r u feeling better now? gosh it's so uncomfy to be sick and i absolutely dislike being sick :"( please remember to rest well and take care of urself!! there's a whole new wave of covid cases on the rise where i am recently and im tryna avoid the crowds as much as possible considering ive already had covid 3 times 🤡🤡🤡 covid surely loves me more than life does 😕

omy masters is definitely a goal of mine that i'd love to achieve especially before i have kids! can't imagine having to take care of my children while doing masters fr it's going to be so tiring!! 🫣 but i guess i'll take it step by step and see where life takes me! especially cuz financially, masters is gonna take up a bulk of my pay esp as a fresh grad in the industry, so i shall see how i can plan my route out! hehehehe

oh oh do you have any recos for fics these days? i've exhausted my list of stuff to read and shows to watch lately 🥲 so commuting arnd has been kinda boring hehehe

hope this week will be an enjoyable week for u!!!!

love, 🍑

HEHEHEHE I TOLD U IT WAS GOOD !!! idk i'm so attached to this fic even tho it's nowhere near finished but i'm so proud of that intro alone, i couldn't keep it to myself anymore ;;; it's a good standalone AND a good opener, people can take it as either!

i feel like the characters in this are well-developed too. like jae and johnny are complete opposites--sunshine, flirty child who gets around but is secretly in love with his bestie and then there's the more silent and broody but will always take care of you, dreamboat. idk i love writing one sided loves!!! and with jae, idk why but it always hits diff!!!

definitely not feeling better but i went to work :( i've been blowing my nose all day. pretty sure imma get a rash from all the tissues i've been using. OH GOD 3 TIMES??? thankful i only got it once!

yes take it step by step. a masters program is really time and energy consuming but i still think it is worth it! there's just a lot of things you need to consider.

uuuh fic recs??? all the ones in @sehunniepotrecs, here are the ones that really stick out to me:

fics by @taelme

state of grace (photographer!johnny, my ult comfort fic, i literally read this and cry every month)

enchanted (regency!au, jaehyun)

treacherous (regency!au, johnny, enchanted spin-off)

make me move by @yutaholic

tis the damn season by @najaemism (celeb ex!mark, social media!au, another comfort read and i die of laughter every time)

[tearsasmascara]

omg quinn this is so cute.. can i req something 😭😭😭 no pressure to do it ok!!!! i think this is a rly sweet idea thank u for doing this for others :,)

i’d love a thoma x sick!reader with fluff if thats okay 😭 am currently feeling super under the weather bc its my that time of the month so anything to do with sick characters and fluff would be greatly appreciated huhuhu 🥲

as always no pressure to get this done okay!! i hope i did this right :,)

YING!! i’m so glad to see you requesting ahhh <3 so here’s the thing i don’t know thoma well so i tried my hardest to write him in character i hope he is!! this one took a while bc just as i started I GOT SICK WGDKDHS so i just got to writing it a bit ago. i’m really not proud of this at all so if you have any feedback i would love it so much !! thank you <33 and take care of yourself :3 also tell me if there’s any mistakes ahhh

btw!! this is a small thing but i think it could be a trigger warning, it’s mentioned the reader has tears in their eyes after taking pills, so if you have trouble with pills it can be taken that way but if that’s personal and you don’t like it, think of it as you coughed wayyyy too much shdkhd it’s up to your imagination!! again i hope you like this ying !!

a groan left your lips as you shifted in your seat, the words in front of you dancing and twirling. the burning in your chest built up and you lifted your arm to cough into it for the nth time.

crap. you were definitely sick.

you also had to finish this last piece of work up, and a part of your mind itched at you to finish it before you rest. your fingers typed frantically as your eyes squinted at the glaring screen, a pathetic attempt to shield yourself.

a soft click sounded from the front of your room, the sound blending in with the symphony of your keys clacking. light footsteps pulled a creak out of the tired floorboards, the sound snapping you out of your funk.

“thoma?” hope stumbled out of your lips in the form of your lovers name, and it was satiated as thoma stepped into the room, a small smile gracing his face.

“hello dear.” a pause followed as thoma’s eyes searched your face, his smile slowly giving way to a frown saturated in worry.

“you look,, unwell.”

fuzziness creeped out from the corners of your eyes as you peeked up at him, the temperature of your fever affecting you in ways you didn’t think was possible.

“stay here darling.” thoma said before he left, as if your muscles would listen to you if you even attempted to move. not even a minute later, thoma returns, a small thermometer dangling from his fingers. his fingers tapped at your chin, a smile painted with sympathy forming.

“open up, let me check your temperature.” your tongue pressed down on the cool plastic, and a small whimper left your throat at the unwanted intrusion. thomas’s hand moved to your cheek, his fingers slightly rubbing your cheekbone as he waited, his actions showing more love then any words could at this moment.

a loud beep interrupted the momentary silence, and the device was fished out of your mouth gently. thomas eyes squinted as he peered at the numbers on the screen, the corners of his mouth turning down slightly.

“you’re running a bad fever. have you eaten?” his question was answered as your stomach made a noise pitifully in response.

“i guess not. let’s get some food and meds in you, and then you can rest. i don’t want you feeling worse.” thoma set the thermometer gently aside, and you could see his brain mentally making a small list containing all the things to clean and tidy.

you shook your head groggily, your body saying thing and your words another.

“i have to finish. this one um.” you pointed vaguely at your work, hoping he’d get the picture.

his eyebrow raised, the action speaking a question his lips didn’t. a deep sigh left your chest as you just weakly shook your head.

“i can’t.”

thoma looked down at you, a small smile spreading over his face as he moved closer.

“i’ll just have to,” he paused, his arms wrapping around you as he lifted you, your hands immediately flying to his neck for support, “aid you in your decision making.”

a complaining whine left your body as you rested your face in the crook of his neck.

“my decision making process is perfectly fine.” you mumbled into him. his laugh vibrated throughout your body’s as he shifted you in his hold.

“right, and i have black hair darling.” a small chuckle left him at his own joke and your own frown was replaced by a giggle.

gentle hands eased you onto the bed, thoma’s embrace being replaced by the embrace of the soft bed. your eyes closed automatically, you just realized how utterly exhausted you were. soft shuffling was picked up by your ears, and you reluctantly opened your eyes to see thoma leaving the room gracefully, his actions quick and smooth. you rested your head against the headboard, but was promptly picked it up again as another coughing fit overtook your body. you sighed, your eyes closing again as you let sleep overtake you, a time pass as you waited for your lover.

“love.” a thumb brushed over your cheek as your eyes opened slightly, trying to register what was happening.

thoma stood in front of you, a bowl of hot soup and a small container of pills sitting on your beside table. time passed slowly as thoma helped you eat, soft praises filling the air as the bowl slowly emptied. shapes were rubbed into your back as you choked down your pills, gentle hands wiping the tears from your eyes.

“you did so well dear.” thomas eyes crinkled he looked at you, a soft kiss being placed to your forehead, as he sat in a chair beside your bed, one of his hands smoothing your hair, the other resting on top of your hand.

“now my love. you work so hard. i’m so proud of you, and that won’t lessen just because you’re resting. in fact i’ll be even more proud.” he winked at you, sending your heart into a flurry.

a kiss was pressed into your temple, another to your cheek.

“sleep well darling.”

and with that, you drifted off into a world created by your imagination.

hi !! thank you for reading this! if you did please rb (tags make me so happy but no pressure) and i hope you liked it!

taglist; @calyxcore, @ireallylikehamsters (send an ask to be removed or added)

[mariska]

hi queer friends in my phone i hope u have all been having an ok month so far 💖 im sorry i havent been online very much lately, its like 80% just me being forgetful except to hop on my phone app for like ten mins to browse my dash and reblog something and get distracted by another non phone related activity LOL. my bestie Eli is here still until the rest of the month and we finished our rewatch (their first watch, my like......who even knows the specific numbered rewatch) of Avatar The Last Airbender a couple days ago and that was very fun and exciting, it was wild getting to those last few episodes in the final season and just totally getting brought back to being a kid in my head when the show was actively airing on tv and i was sitting in my bedroom exploding from sheer special interest excitement watching the story wrap up on the super small box tv i used to have like 15+ years ago 😭🫡 we haven't started watching Legend Of Korra yet since we just finished ATLA and need to like. take a lil Avatar media break before jumping into another entire finished series fhdhdhsfsshhgd but excited for whenever we start that too!! Eli showed me a fav movie of theirs the other night called Thoroughbreds and i REALLY liked it, fellow toxic yuri enjoyers i truly cannot recommend that one enough those girls have Problems In Abundance and i love that for them and also me.

OH OH OH ALSO on my birthday after we got home from out of house activities we watched that Nic Cage movie 'Dream Scenario' that i've wanted to see so bad since the first trailer for it dropped online a while back, and i am truly not just being dramatic when i say i think that is my favorite movie i've seen this year and it will be Difficult for another movie to win over that 2024 Fav Spot in my mind, it was exactly what i wanted it to be and MUCH MORE LMAOO IT WAS SO GODDAMN FUNNY. very specifically Me And Eli's Kinda Stupid Sense Of Humor throughout the whole run time we were fuckin losing it at every other scene. that was a wonderful lil birthday treat.

also the antique mall we were gonna go to ended up being closed on the day of my birthday so we went to a big mall off-Cape that i like instead and have been to a few other times for past birthdays cus they actually have a bunch of different types of stores with stuff i actually enjoy unlike the more local mall we have here that is 100% dying a slow agonizing Mall Death lmao. went to Build-A-Bear and they had that one bear style in stock that literally just looks like a femme lesbian with the lesbian flag colors and perfect lil eyeliner so i made a Chappell Roan inspired pop star outfit wearing lesbian colored bear (saw someone else online do that a lil while back with the same style i chose so i couldn't resist doing it myself when i saw it was at the store hfsfgsvsgshshdg) and the ppl working there that day were all super chill and friendly and most likely around me and Eli's age or maybe a few yrs younger than us, the person who helped me make my bear specifically was really friendly and fun to talk with cus while we were in there it was pretty much just us and the employees for the majority of the time, he like immediately picked up on me being A Very Obvious Femme Lesbian on account of The Femme Lesbian Bear and also The Very Over The Top Femme Alt Outfit I Was Wearing and we chatted abt being gay and trans while he was stuffing the bear it was such a genuinely sweet and wonderful interaction, he was also autistic and we got to briefly bond over Build-A-Bear being mutual life long autistic special interests of ours and he seemed rly happy to hear that i was turning 27 that day and was still actively wanting to spend birthdays making custom stuffed animals there it was just really great all around 😭💕 also before the mall closed later on we did a quick stop at the FYE store that was there (i always get very excited when i see a still active FYE store anywhere cus it was a childhood fav place of mine to shop but our local mall closed ours when i was a teenager lol) and there was a small stand set up with some ATLA merch and i got a fully functional Momo backpack/crossbody style bag that i am so incredibly psyched about having fjdgedfdhsshfg it is very cute. and anyone who knows me knows i love adding a silly lil functional novelty bag to my collection of silly lil novelty bags. so it will be getting much use from me out in the world

anyways!!! thats pretty much what i've been up to, just figured i would hop on and write a mariska life update so everyone here knows i didnt just like. drop off the face of the earth lol

[avelera]

ive been enjoying giving sanctuary so much, but i cant help but wonder, will you go back to write more of "come live with me and be my love" once its done? i dont want to seem like im asking like "whens the new chapter!!!" bc i rly dont mean it that way i just really love the expansive queerness & am patiently hoping for more, if you're still willing

Yes yes yes! I fully intend to and indeed, after this arc of Giving Sanctuary is complete I'm pretty sure I'll be DYING to get back to a bit of low-stakes Regency romcom fun! CLWM and even This Rough Magic are in NO WAY abandoned. It's just that neither of those have even a final CHAPTER NUMBER yet whereas with Giving Sanctuary we are like... 1.2 arcs (6-8 chapters??) and maybe a couple standalone one-shots away from the completion of that story and I'm not gonna lie, that really lit a fire under me when I can see the finish line.

The good news is, in the course of writing Giving Sanctuary I really feel like I grew as an author especially when it comes to writing ARCS, like, mini-arcs, instead of one gigantic plot. That skill is going to be soooo valuable going back to Come Live With Me, which, people might have noticed, is still at like Day 3 out of 365 because I kept having new ideas for the next scene and the next that would come right after it, and obviously that's just not sustainable for 365 days! So I think being able to take that experience from making discrete, self-contained but nevertheless building arcs like Naxos and the Endless Family Dinner and say things like "This is the Big Event of Month 2, this is the Big Event of Month 3, and we're going to skip forward between those events" will be a HUGE help in getting some forward momentum there.

THOUGH, I don't regret how methodically CLWM has gone through this first week, since naturally, that's where all the NEW experiences are, like Dream working in the shop, or Hob being introduced to Dreaming sex lol, those are new experiences I wouldn't want to just skip over, but now that they're established, I can say things like "And then they worked in the shop for a week, had a ton of crazy Dreaming sex, and now here we are a month later when The Next Big Thing happened", for example, and you all won't feel cheated like "Wait, I would have wanted to see those things the first time!" lol (I mean, I'm sure people would but at a certain point, these two would reach something of a routine).

[tvheadfalls]

template

completely forgot these exist until i saw someone else post one and then i scrambled

guy from july belongs to my fwiend @belelzebub

hope everyone has a good or at least peaceful time into the new year!

some thoughts under cut

while i managed to scrounge smth colored for every month, next year i definitely want to try and finish some more pieces. i am v happy with my sketching process rn so i wanna work on having fun coloring again

idk how evident technical improvement is for anyone else but i def feel it. near the end of the year i finally figured out what mix of cartoony and anime and anatomy i enjoy and want to go for, so i am very happy with that. drawing is very fun rn, i am doing a lot of purely personal private stuff with friends and it rly helps :)

as always i am hoping to post more in general next year, tho i think occasional radio silence is par for the course at this point lmao. for now i just wanna start posting ocs and some fanart when i feel it again and not get so hung up on my frustration on not having any finished stories. just wanna have fun sharing again <3

[tanushakyrano]

hi gang!!! just a little life update for u :]

some of you might wonder why i, a certified queer, have not posted anything for this pride month. firstly i do have two half finished projects i want to finish so i can upload them (because i could never forgive myself for not doing ANYTHING for the gay month). however i am barely writing anything at all at the moment, including for my big projects. hopefully ill get back to it at some point because i genuinely love creating and i really want to get more of my stories written so i can share them!!!

basically, EVERYTHING is going on rn. ive just finished a first draft of my history coursework, our art personal study is starting up, the school wants personal statements written and applications started and work experience booked...plus i have several crochet commissions which ive just taken on that need to be done! AND im away for this whole weekend!

so thats what going on at the minute for me. ive loved seeing all the queer fan works this month, its been amazing, and i hope i can add to them before the end of june. but yeah i dont rly have the time to do anything at the minute </3

[orcelito]

You followed me back :O

I'm still in love with all your posts giving insight into ITNL and am still suuuuuuper looking forward to reading it whenever I finish Trimax

Saw you writing some posts about Vash with lightning scars originating from his right shoulder, which I am absolutely enamoured with the concept of. I'm not much of an artist but I do know my way around editing in Photoshop so I made something for you :3

He does look very cool.

It sounds like you've been having a really rough time over the last couple of months, so I hope this helps brighten your day 💜

Hfksbxksbxkzbxmshdksbdmshxkshdjs

Posting this publicly bc I wanna b able to keep this bc MAN..... it doesn't line up exactly with the scar placement, but it's also a Really Good Reference... lets me picture what it would look like and it's SO GOOD... thank you 😭😭😭

& yea I followed back kinda out of nowhere just bc I see u in the tag a lot & you've been rly nice to me in general hdjhskfbs also of course posting things I like. So. Hello.

I'm looking forward to seeing ur thoughts about trimax heheheh. Truly nothing could prepare you for reading trimax. It is Life Changing.

[spectralpooch]

hi!! i'm a little too shy to leave a comment on your fic for everyone to see, so i'll put it here: i know that recent additions to canon have had you second guessing your writing and interpretations, but i just got done rereading your fic and i want you to know that i still sincerely believe that your choices are still spot-on! the divergence points thus far aren't as bad as you worry. i think of it simply as "oh, gilles showed up in this timeline!" and "oops, wataru missed keito's visits!" lol

im on the floor. ah. ahuifodijlkgrhgjhlklfhj. i will never recover from this ask. gootbye

i am going to return your love with a pile of my own ramblings, so for everyone else's sake, putting the rest of this ask under the cut!

first off: "i just finished rereading your fic" rereading??? 😭 that behemoth?? that is such a huge honor!!!!! i really hope that it holds up when you read it straight-through like that (not in one sitting i assume, but in a faster time frame than spread out over five months)

"oh, gilles showed up in this timeline!" ah, yes, a fellow gilles truther... it genuinely helped me cope and re-immerse myself in my "canon" when i arbitrarily decided that he was the key point of divergence between my fic and enstars canon. he set the events of blackbird into motion. he is the mastermind. he played wataru and eichi like pawns on a chessboard.

"oops, wataru missed keito's visits!" abhfdghb but fr, where was keito during blackbird? i really had to take a step back and mull over whether i'd missed something vital in pre-established canon--because i was certain that he'd be stuck to eichi's side like glue at this period in time? a possible explanation is that eichi just banned him from visiting... but if that was the case, i wish it'd been stated. because as it stands, it just feels like a plot hole to me </3

ahghh yep, i definitely went through a million stages of grief. i rly felt selfish for personally being disappointed in the new developments while everyone else was freaking out--not because i disliked blackbird/element, but because it was crushing to lose my canon-compliance. i know i've taken liberties with this fic, but i'd really tried my best to stick as closely to canon as possible and work under the pretense that "there's no evidence that things didn't happen this way"

but now that pretense is dead and gone! and i don't have to worry about it anymore. i'm still going to stick as closely to pre-april 2023 canon as possible, but the reality that this fic will never be canon-compliant does relieve some of the pressure i'd put on myself

(there are a couple of things i'm pondering yoinking from the new canon, however! i'm still pondering... but we'll see!)

it really, really, really, truly means everything to me that you still enjoy my plot and characterization. and it's incredibly reassuring that to hear that you think that i'm overblowing the canon divergence in my head. it's very grounding to hear an outside perspective on that, and i appreciate it so much

thank you so much anon ;-; i'm going to cherish these messages forever

also. for anyone reading this: don't save an ask as a draft. tumblr will send it to the shadow realm, never to be seen or heard from again. don't even bother looking for it. it's gone.

if it's an anonymous ask, you'll just have to copy+paste the text and send it to yourself. and feel like a complete fool.

[saidtostaine]

DID LISTTTTT ( Feb 18. 2023 )

- been such a long long long longggggggg time since i've done this but i realized how much better this made me feel so i want to do it again

💟 went to work early in the morning and did my usual stuff. cleaned the place before anything else and served some customers etc etc

💟 when i had nothing to do at work, i finished my stats and management assignmenttt, did some religion homework too but didn't finish it ( this is interesting since i didn't expect it to be so easy for me. i thought it would take up a lot of my energy but the flow was very smooth )

💟 after i got off work at around 3 pm, i did 2 loads of hand wash laundry ( IT WAS A LOT ) after a month or so of not doing any. ( it took me 4 hours 💀 but surprisingly i wasn't tired. most likely because i took frequent breaks. i watched wizard liz yt vids on my breaks bcs i love her so much )

💟 i rearranged my clothes cabinetttt. i wanted wanted wanted to do this for a long time now but i didn't seem to have the time nor the energy but now i finally did!!!! i also choose clothes that i will be donating soon since i want to have less things now

💟 i took a short shower, moisturized, and slipped into my fav comfy PJs <33 i always love this part of the day

💟 i ate dinner. AND IT WAS REAL FOOD. i enjoyed it so much, its actually been such a long time since i've eaten proper dinner so this was vv nice :')

💟 i had a massage earlier by this amazing electric massager while i was writing the half of this post. it was so relaxing i could feel my back bones rearranging and turning back to their original places

💟 NOW IM CURRENTLY HEREE writing this post, listening to perfect pair piano cover by sook on yt ( i omly discivered it earkier and ITS AMAZING i immediately fell inlove. check it out ) and so comfy under my sheets with my itadori stuffie and hot choco ☕ after this, im going to watch JJK and go to bed because its another day tomorrow!!! 😌😌

today was very fun and i feel rly good about myself. im so happy i started this again and that i am back to my recovery. everything will be just fine. i hope everyone a happy day always and forever