#i said the same thing abt olivia and man. the love is still there but its different when its not an active fixation youknow

[goldiipond]

dont know wjat im gonna do when tpn fixation fades. im nothing without my specialest little guy ray my friend ray tpn

[pha55ed]

Everything I Know Abt Love || JMM21

type :: fluff tw/cw :: dumbass painfully oblivious!reader (their so me-coded) summary :: reader has been crushing on pepe since they were children, but is trying to get over their crush with a different driver. but that's impossible because it's fucking josep maria marti.

request :: can you write smth with pepe marti :D was thinkin something along the lines of the song “everything i know about love” by laufey. heavy mutual pining with an eventual confession and pure fluff <3 ur page is so nice and ur writing is so so so good 🫶 (AHH thank you so much! <3 you're so sweet!)

liked by jakcrawford, christianmansell, sebastianmontoya, and 82,000 others

yourusername : Alexa, play So American by Olivia Rodrigo

yourbestfriend : YOU GOT ICECREAM WITHOUT ME???

yourbestfriend : wait a minute... 🤨

yourbestfriend : IS THAT A MAN....???

yourbestfriend : IS THAT P...?

yourbestfriend : Noooo girl i need to update you so bad

jakcrawford : Your flavor looks like charcoal dust LMAO

yourusername : it looked purple under the store's lighting 😭😭

christianmansell : where's my thank you???

sebastianmontoya : what... 😀

pepemarti : same... 😀 sebastianmontoya : im coming over christianmansell : wait why??? sebastianmontoya : YOU CAUSED THIS YOU IDIOT

The date with Jak was sweet, almost perfect. He picked you up and called you beautiful, gifting you flowers. The entire time he was respectful, listening to you, and making you laugh. He was cute too, curly brown hair and an adorable smile. Everything should led to you liking him. Yet you couldn't.

The entire time you were still stuck on Pepe. Thinking about how Pepe would have gotten you flowers, but in your favorite color. How Pepe's hair was much softer despite being shorter. Not to mention that Pepe's smile is your favorite thing ever. It's not Jak's fault, he was lovely in every way possible. But you just couldn't imagine loving anyone else beside Pepe.

You grew up with Pepe, meeting at 11 year olds from watching your brother in karting. The rest is history. You met his friends and quickly formed a quad, with Pepe, you, Sebastian, and Christian. Throughout your entire childhood, you had a fat crush on him. But you could never tell if he liked you back or not.

But to Chris and Sebastian, it was painful to watch you both. They could tell that you both liked each other, maybe even loved each other. But you both were so awkward with each other that it seemed like you were friend-zoning each other.

Like for example, Chris and Sebastian tried to set you up both up by making a fake hangout. They planned a whole day of going to the beach and eating dinner, only for them both to get "sick" last minute. So it was just you and Pepe alone for the whole day, going to the beach and a fancy dinner.

Yet you guys still managed to turn one of the most romantic scenes into the most goofy and awkward. Collecting seashells, seeing who can hold their breathe longer underwater, and making a mess at dinner like you two were just clumsy and awkward best friends. When in reality, both of you were on the verge of a heart attack every time you accidentally touched.

So now you were stuck, alone in your room. Torn between either moving on or sticking with Pepe.

You barely had any time to think to yourself, because the very next day you were forced to attend the boys' Racing Sponsor party. Although you never liked going, it was fun with your friends and the food was always amazing. The only major cons was that the party was filled with business people trying to network and get new sponsors, but they usually left you alone once you just said you were a friend of the drivers.

So now instead of being alone in your room, with your thoughts eating away at your brain - you were alone at the large dining table. Seb promised to stay by your side, but he was pulled away by his engineers to try and talk to a fancy gasoline company so they could sponsor him. Chris also promised to stay besides you, but he was also forced away to go to a special engineering company. Pepe and Jak were also busy doing a ton of interviews and connections, they were very sought after.

You sighed, unable to help but just sit in your boredom as you picked at your food. Now you were wishing that those annoying business men would try to talk to you again just so you have something to do. Using your phone wasn't an option either, 1. because it's rude to do and 2. because your dress didn't have pockets so you stupidly gave it to Seb to hold onto.

But just as you were about to count the petals dead floral centerpiece in front of you, Jak sat next to you. Fuck, you thought.

"Hey!" He said, wearing a black tux just like everyone else in the room. "You look so bored haha"

His small chuckle was charming and cute, he was so "boy-next-door" coded. Jak's curls were a bit more defined and his suit had almost no imperfections on it. He obviously paid deep attention to his suit. You watched as he started to fiddle with his tie slightly as he sat next to you. It was clear he was a bit nervous around you, trying to put up a good first impression still.

"I can't lie, I am a bit bored." You say with a smile at his attentive nature. "I'm just waiting for it to be over so we can all go out and play games at Chris's house."

"We?" He asks, quoting you before connecting the dots as to who 'we' was. "Oh! You, Pepe, Chris, and Seb, right?" Jak tilts his head slightly, like a dog.

You simply nod, taking a mental note of how much of Jak resembles a golden doodle. One of the cute golden doodles, not the ones' with ugly human eyes. You wanted so badly to like him. It wasn't like you weren't aware of how cute and sweet he was. Yet your brain just wouldn't allow yourself to feel a spark between you two.

"Well uh, would it be okay if I joined?" Jak asked nervously, looking in your eyes.

Before you could answer, you felt a hand on your shoulder. Although you hated how embarrassing it was to admit, you could already tell who was touching you just by the fingertips and vein on the back of the hand: Pepe Marti.

"NnnnooOOO!" Pepe said, making you want to laugh but you knew it would hurt Jak's feelings. It was clear he had quite a few drinks, most likely due to the businessmen always pressuring the drivers to have a few shots. Mainly so they could take advantage of their drunken state and get them to sign any deal they wanted.

"Oh uh..." Jak sat their awkwardly, looking at how close Pepe's body was to yours despite him hovering above your chair. "Hi Pepe,,,"

"Hi JAK!!!" Pepe said, quite loudly, "Or should I say JAK - ASS!!! Hahaha,,, ha..."

Pepe's entire fucking head and neck turned to you, trying to see if you laughed at his awful joke. When he sees that you didn't laugh, his smile instantly died. You could tell that he was cringing at himself.

You knew you needed to get Pepe out of the room, before he does anything stupid. So you quietly excused yourself from Jak, apologizing for Pepe's lame joke. Although Pepe was perfectly able to walk over to you and Jak, all of the sudden he began to act as if he's never walked in his life. So he clung onto your waist, using that as support while you both exited the party.

It didn't make much sense for him to hold your waist for support. Holding onto your shoulders or even your head would make much more sense - but he insisted on holding your waist. But you weren't going to complain when he hand perfectly fitted there. And you definitely weren't going to complain when he was pulling you closer to his body on instinct, as if he was a magnet attracted to you.

You struggled to get his tall body into your small car. But you did it. Now you had to struggle with getting the buckle on him. Not that he's fat, far from it, he's quite lanky and lean. The struggle came from the fact that Pepe was insisting that he should drive. That the man should always drive the woman home. He even drunkenly giggled and said, "If I driveee, then we couldd kiss at red lightssss!"

He said that while looking up at you with a shit eating grin. As if he was trying to see if you would blush at his joke, which you did. And as if his cute giggle and smile weren't enough, he did a stupid little fist bump in the air after making you giggle, as if it was an accomplishment. He has never ever been this flirty with you, making you unsure of how to handle him.

You can't help but laugh even more at his stupid acts. And from your laughter, Pepe finally sat still for once. He was stuck in his seat, staring at you, completely star struck. His big dark eyes starring up at you while you giggled, he looked as if he's seen the Northern lights. His lips were slightly parted, mainly because he was tired from fighting you away from buckling him, but also because his breathe was genuinely taken away from his lungs.

And that's when you felt something click in you.

At that exact moment, when Pepe was looking up at you with big puppy eyes and kissable kips - you realized that you would never ever be able to replace Pepe. You would never be able to settle and date Jak just to move on from Pepe. Because in one single moment of Pepe barely saying anything, he made you feel more cherished than Jak did within your entire day. Because in one single moment of Pepe's eyes staring in yours, you felt your heart pound faster than it ever did when Jak gently held your hand at night.

You knew you needed to tell Jak soon. Although you knew that you and Pepe weren't an item yet, you were determined to get him to be yours. And for the first time within almost a decade - you felt as if you had a chance with him.

As you dragged Pepe behind you, you safely managed to get him up the stairs and into his apartment. It was a cozy place, with tan and beige furniture decorating the place. There were photos hung up of his friends and family, shelves filled with comic books and gifts from fans. It felt warm, homey despite it not being your home.

Due to Pepe's strong grip on you, as if he was glued to you, you were forced to throw him roughly onto his couch. You sighed out of relief from finally getting him to settle down. You were beat, ready to go sleep asap. Meanwhile Pepe was the exact opposite. He was still giggling and giddy despite there being nothing funny happening.

His smile was permanently on his face, but you weren't complaining. As you slumped down next to him, you could still smell the alcohol in his breathe. He lazily threw his hand on your thigh, looking at you before saying "You're so farrr".

The lazy grip he had on your thigh quickly turned into an overpowering grip, as he easily pulled you all the way close to him. Even though he got what he wanted, you being right beside him, his hand didn't leave your thigh. You were left in shock, never ever seeing this side of him. He's been drunk around you before, but never this drunk. You're lost on why he felt the need to get so drunk today, especially when he knew being drunk was a huge no-no at sponsor parties.

When Pepe saw your eyes widen, he instantly copied your expression. His hand left your thigh in a flash and he scooted away from you by a foot. "I'm sorry, did you not like that???" He asked, his words not slurring as much.

"No no, it's okay." You said as you looked at him, his shoulders relaxing at your words. You wish you could say the same, your shoulders were killing you now from having to bring Pepe up a whole flight of stairs.

Rolling your shoulders didn't help the ache, making you slightly wince at the soreness. Pepe, despite still being drunk, could tell it was because of him. He looked guilty, scooting a bit closer to you.

"I'm sorry," He said softly, the most gentle you've heard him all night. "I shou' have gone home on my own."

You shook your head, "Definitelyyy not, you would have crashed your car into a family of five or something."

"Better than hurting you," He said almost in a whisper. You watched his face scrunch up. He let out a light burp and threw his head back onto the couch. "God I feel awful already."

On instinct, you were about to get off the couch and get him some pain medication. But Pepe's arm shot out, blocking you from getting up.

"Not physically." He says, "But,,, mentally."

You tilt your head slightly, confused at what he meant. He looked into your eyes, able to tell that you had zero clue at all what he meant. A sigh left his lips, as if he was tired despite him being the one that got dragged up a flight of stairs and a ride home.

"I'm sure you'll feel awful physically soon." You say, "But why do you feel hurt, mentally?"

"I just," Pepe's voice was stuck, unsure of how to word himself. He let out a few murmurs but it wasn't actual words. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol making him unable to speak or if Pepe just didn't know how to word what he was thinking. You were assume it was both.

He knew he wouldn't be able to outright state what he was feeling, so instead he opted for questions. "(Y/N), be honest with me." You nodded, shifting in your seat to face him. His tone sounded serious. "How do you feel about Jak?"

You assume he must have felt awful mentally for his rude jokes to Jak. "Oh, Jak is cool. If you're worried about your joke to him, I'm sure he'll just brush it off."

"Are you close now?" Pepe asks, completely ignoring your answer to his question. "After that date you guys had, seemed like fun." He says, his eyes not looking at yours. As if he was too scared to make eye contact with you.

"Um, it was fun. But I mean, I didn't feel a spark or anything-"

"Don't lie."

You were frozen, unsure of what to say. "I'm not lying...?"

"I see how you laugh at his jokes, how he looks at you, how you smile at him." Pepe says slowly, "Do you think you like him?"

His tone was so serious that you were caught off guard. But you knew the answer to his question now, thankfully you realized it this night. "No, I think we're just gonna be friends. He seems super sweet and nice, but not for me-"

"Then who is for you?" Pepe asks, this time looking at you. There was no smile on his face, instead a look of investigation. A look that seemed as if he was trying to put a mask on, to protect his feelings from getting hurt.

You knew the answer to this question to. But you weren't able to say. All you were able to do was stare into Pepe's eyes, watching them soften as he looked at you. You swallowed and broke the eye contact, feeling too intimate to keep staring into his dark eyes.

While you were looking away, Pepe scooted back close to you. Your knees touching. Although your head was still turned away, too flustered to look at him and unwilling to give him an answer. Pepe was staring right at you, his entire torso turned towards you to examine your whole body and features.

You didn't want to turn your head around and face him. You could tell that if you did, your faces would be only a few inches away from each other. Close enough to make your breathes touch each other faces. Although you were trying to look away from him, his hand gently reached for your face. There was no pressure in his grip, instead it was lightly guiding your head to face him.

Now your faces were close, eyes locked in, and bodies only a few inches apart. You looked at him, holding your breathe in fear that it stank from eating. His eyes and face were no longer tense, it was soft and looked as if he was pleaded. It looked as if he about to beg you for something, which he did:

"Please, please say it's me." He said in a whisper.

[whataboutsimple]

I can just see domino effect play out starting from when Gabriel meets Hadrian and Romeo. Romeo’s got no admin powers but he’s still an evil gremlin and Hadrian just escaped with Mevia. In walks in Gabriel who helps them and tries to get them to go good and then they both fall in love separately (Mevia is totally teasing Hadrian). Gabriel then reunites with Ivor, the two catch up and Gabriel talks about the people he met and formed a crush on and the names mentioned made Ivor spat out his drink and do a double take; “S-sorry… I think I misheard or perhaps I’m mistaking someone else who shares the same name. You said that you like Hadrian and Romeo?” “Yes, I did. Hadrian is a skilled builder, it amazes me how fast he can build with the resources he has and while Romeo is quite dramatic, he’s also funny at times.” “… Gabriel?” “Yes?” “THOSE PEOPLE ARE DANGEROUS!!!” “What? But they’re very nice and give great hugs. Sure they can be violent at times but they’re not too bad.”

Ivor flips his cauldron in sheer anger shock and disbelief and the protective instinct he thought had died in him cracked up through the roof. He’s shaking Gabriel, trying to convince him that these men are people he should stay away from but poor Gabriel and his darn optimistic golden retriever personality thinks that they’re alright and can improve which only makes Ivor panic and dread even more. He knows for a fact that this is a result of the order because Gabriel wasn’t like this and now that he’s left without supervision he got mixed into a bad crowd and Ivor is berating himself for thinking that Gabriel would remain the sanest, he was so wrong.

And so Ivor drags Gabriel to Beacontown and calls an emergency meeting with Ellegard/Magnus, Jesse’s gang, Harper, Otto and Xara to discuss the problem and needless to say, everyone lost it. Petra is in disbelief and denial, ready to shank a man, Axel and Olivia are completely baffled because why Gabriel?! Why those two?! There are better fish in the sea that give better hugs! Lukas is watching this all unfurl, gobsmacked and shaking unable to get everyone to calm down, Jesse’s trying to stop the old order from going on a killing spree, Harper and Otto are worried and Xara who started believing that there’s food in the world again, took one look at Gabriel, the man who somehow reminds her too much of her friend Fred and goes, “Alright, screw it. I’m going to murder Romeo. Who wants to join me?”

“I’m gonna make them regret getting close to my innocent boy!”

“Ivor I’m around the same age as you!”

“No, no, absolutely not! I am not letting those guys even lay a hand on my dad!”

“Wait, dad?”

The commotion gets so loud other people hear it and subsequently started freaking out because what the heck Gabriel. And later on, in the depths of the end Soren has been training the enderman to pick up more blocks, picked up a paper from an enderman who brought it alongside the block and screamed across the dimension, “GABRIEL HAS A CRUSH ON WHO?!?!”

Dear Anon, I don't know who you are, I don't know why you doing with, and I don't know what did I do to deserve this, but two things I know for sure: THIS IS PURE PERFECTION AND I LOVE YOU!!

My poor pillow got beaten up while I was reading this bc it's freaking funny, hilarious, silly and so on, and on, and on!

At this point I really think that Hadrian and Romeo are the ones who's in danger because- look at the gang. They aren't joking. Someone's going to be murdered.

It's also funny how I've come from talking about RomeoXGabriel with @yourdarlingwarrior to talking about polycule between Hadrian, Gabriel and Romeo with you. When I joined the fandom, I couldn't imagine I would have a chance to even open my mouth abt something like that.

And Soren's screams in the End are pick of humor. Old man hoped at least one of his friends kept his mind, but no, no he didn't. Oh gosh, what have he done?

You know what else is funny? How those two gremlins probably will do everything in their power to annoy each other. They both have "god-complex" and whole Gabriel is someone who gives them "admiration and attention they deserve", for each other they are more like.. "Who is this fool trying to imitate my greatness? And what is he doing near MY diamond admirer?"

But since Gabriel loves them both, they can't hurt each other bc he'll get sad. What now? Of course they will piss each other off.

"Wdym your house was blown up? Idk watcha talking abt."

"Huh? What was that? You fell into the hole full of slimes? Aw, poor thing."

And so on.

So our golden retriever wet puppy dog Gabriel sits there, pets his doggy (who's name prob Lucky or smth) and talks to Nurm cause he's the only one who kept his sanity unlike others (Jack lost it after Petra told him what's going on cause "THIS? THIS RED MAN? GABRIEL, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A SMART WARRIOR-").

Pure chaos. We can see here pure chaos of a big and strange family, chat. I will never get tired of talking abt them.

Anon, have my best wishes, good day/night, luck of life and ect. because I love you!

[popcornaddict500]

man this is partially gonna sound weird as hell but big personal incoherent oc/grief vent down below

there's... something jarring to me abt losing oc ships I've had for SUCH a long time (in regards to being dumped by a close friend whom I had said ships with)

cause its like. these ships had almost become canon in my mind. I thought about them a lot, they were so Real to me.

not to mention the kids those ocs had together cause we literally made those together. designed those ocs together. I can't bear to part with them as painful as it is to keep them

I'm trying to cope but I find myself truly missing them and it's like.... i some weird way I want to find a way to fit this into a scenario. to idk work through the pain?

like like

Olivia waking up from what seemed to be a really long dream.

she had a loving husband and kids and everything. she was happy.

but she wakes up now as though it had never been- because that's kinda how it felt to me

looking around her empty bedroom. no husband, no kids, no proof of the life she had lived.

but it felt so real

it felt so long

but she's the lonely, haunted woman she was. not the happy woman finally finding peace in her family.

and she's not okay about that (neither am I)

same goes for my other ocs who were in ships with this friend. Adam, too. the one oc of mine they claimed was their favourite.

makes me look at him differently, even if slightly.

idk it's weird. those ships meant a lot to me as strange as that may sound. the things me and that friend made together meant so much to me. and I'm still struggling to deal with everything being gone now. what we did is still here, I can still read it, but it's like... it's wrong, now. it doesn't feel right to think of our ocs like that anymore as much as it pains me.

(bigger not oc related text coming in)

I'm not okay about it even though a few weeks have passed since it happened.

I'm still grieving losing someone so dear to me over a small issue that didn't need to happen at all. I was never given a chance to fix anything and it's left me with a ball of feelings I can't express. I couldn't even respond.

I miss talking to them, I miss the oc stuff we talked about, and so many other things...

maybe it sounds trivial to an outsider but the truth is I value my ocs and their ships a lot and when I've had ships for so long with someone I cared about this much it's like... a part of me being ripped away, when they ripped me out of their life, too.

you might've thought that by cutting me out of your life I would only lose being able to talk to you but. it's so much more than that. everything that was influenced by you. everything that i made because of you. everything I had collected in my mind and cherished such as the oc stuff. heck even some of my ocs were influenced by you and now are different for me because of that association. everything that reminds me of you, things I would've sent you if I was still able to talk to you. the stories in my mind of our ocs. everything that made you an important part of my life. it's all still there but now it tastes sour and miserable. tainted if you will. I lost someone I cared for deeply. someone I thought cared for me too. and it didnt even have to go this way but how the fuck was I supposed to know something was wrong when you never told me? why did you never tell me and then bail at the very end?

did our friendship mean so little to you that it was so easy for you to cut me off like I was nothing? I think, surely you must miss me in some way. surely you realize this wasn;t the right or the mature thing to do. surely you cared about me in some shape or form. surely you were happy knowing me and talking to me too. you wouldn't have stuck around for as long as you did otherwise.

before it all happened you said 'I rlly don't want to hurt your feelings'........ and then followed that up by doing. possibly the most hurtful thing you could have. being uncomfortable is one thing but not giving the other a chance at all to fix this supposed issue or even letting me respond to these- rather unfair and shallow claims you made about me is... so cowardly. I had hoped you trusted me.

I don't want to say maybe its better this way cause honestly it doesn't feel that way but. if you were fine treating me this way, someone who was supposedly one of your closest friends, then... maybe you weren't the amazing friend I thought you were.

especially because I would never treat you like this. all I ever did was love you. maybe there's another reason you did not talk to me? maybe you had some issues over on your end that you weren't willing to talk about which resulted in this big breakup? was it worth cutting me out of your life over?

I *seriously* hope you know that what you've done has hurt me in a way nothing has ever hurt me before. and it will continue to do so for a very long time I'm afraid. if you don't know, it's like... how could you do something like this and think I'd be fine? think I wouldn't be wrecked over it? truthfully I don't think I'll ever forget it.

sorry to whatever poor soul is reading this by the way lol, just had to get my emotional vomit out there. this isnt even everything lol

so yeah. emotional pain tuesday anyone?

[falcqns]

Hii i have this request in mind like Chris Evans x Actress! Singer! Reader like the reader and chris dated for 3y idk but they broke up but the reader always visit chris’ family bc she treated them like family aswell specialy when the reader’s parents died so she spend Christmas there or any occasions bc chris’ family invite her and when chris got a new gf the reader is kinda hurt bc she still love chris but she try to look like she doesn’t care but then she released her new song its called deja vu (by olivia rodrigo) and she release it to her bday so when the song is released the fans knew its abt chris bc of the new gf (chris’ fam doesn’t like the new gf and the fans kinda didn’t support them bc of the girl’s attitude) and chris’ family invites her over bc they want to show the reader something and when the reader got there they surprise her for her bday and congratulate her and turns out chris is there too with his new gf🤨and the reader knew chris’ new gf hated her bc of her look and scott called you all to the living room and watch the mv of the reader’s new song and when the mv ends scott and the fam congratuleted the reader and chris’ gf is giving the reader looks again and chris is noticing it and when the reader is in the kitchen alone getting something chris talk to her and congratulate her and chris’ new gf wrapped her arms around chris and chris tried to stop her to make a scene but she started a scene and scream at the reader but the reader cut her off and embarrassing her and the reader prove the new gf shes first not her (idk if that make sense lol) and the new gf leave(idk you can make her a random name so its not only “new gf”) and the reader and chris talk and they got back together, you can do wha you want at the end this is just so random bc i was listening to deja vu and advance thank you if you do my request! Stay safe! ❤️ and im so sorry if this is so long

Deja Vu

pairing: Chris Evans x singer!reader

warnings: parents death, major angst, fluff. 

a/n: thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy!

You had known Chris since college, when you had met him in your communications class. You two had grown close quickly, and became best friends. 

He brought you home every Christmas Eve, before you would go home to your parents house on Christmas Day. You had always felt like a part of the family, so when your parents passed a way, you turned to him. 

You and your parents were driving home from a Christmas Day church service, when you were hit by a semi truck. It had completely totalled the car, and your parents had died on impact. You had been sitting in the back, and only had a broken leg from where your moms seat had been pushed back into it roughly. 

You had been pulled from the car and sat in a second ambulance, while your parents were transported in another. You knew you'd never forget watching that ambulance door close and drive away, knowing that was the last time you'd ever see them. 

When the police officers asked if there was anyone you could call, you didn't know what to do. Your parents were both only children, so you had no aunts, uncles or cousins. You were an only child too, so you had no siblings, and your grandparents had passed when you were little, your other ones passing before you were born. 

So when the officer asked you, you told him the Evans’ phone number. Lisa picked up on the second ring, and you tearfully explained what had happened as the shock wore off. She immediately said she’d meet you at the hospital, and not to worry, that she and Bob would take care of you. 

You were taken to the hospital and treated for your broken leg. Less than an hour after you arrived, Lisa arrived at the hospital with Chris in tow. They comforted you, and took you home with them. You stayed in Chris’s room for the first few days, and when you were given your own room, you still had a hard time sleeping alone, so Chris ended up in your bed with you most nights, not that he minded. 

You never went back to college, and instead turned to singing as a release from all the pain you were feeling. You started out posting covers on YouTube, and gradually progressed to getting a record deal with Interscope Records, which didn't surprise anyone who knew you. You had immense talent, and your parents used to tell you that they were counting down the days before you were a celebrity. 

When Chris graduated college and told you he was moving to Los Angeles, he convinced you to come with him. Prices were high in LA, and he didn't want to be separated from you for too long, so you joined him. He got to be an actor, and you got to be a singer, which is what you both had wanted since you were younger. 

You went to every one of Chris’s movie premieres, and he attended as many of your live shows as he could. You supported him through all his relationships and his breakups, and played the middle man whenever he and Jenny would fight, up until the very end. You told yourself you did that because you just wanted what's best for him, but you both kind of knew that wasn't the reason at all. 

Throughout your time living together, you friendship grew, as did your feelings for each other. You'd be lying if you didn't have a small crush on him in college, and those feelings only grew as time went on, especially since the two of you decided to only get a one bedroom apartment. Mainly because it was cheap, but also because Chris made a decision a week after your parents death to never allow you to sleep alone because of the nightmares that would occur if he wasn't there.

So, when you won your first award for your first album, named ‘hand in hand’, he kissed you the second you came off the stage with your award in hand. It blew your mind that he felt the same, but you were happy nonetheless. You two began dating that night, and everything was perfect. 

Until, you were invited by 5 Seconds of Summer to be their opening act on their newest tour. You had agreed, and Chris let you go. You two had been dating for over 3 years, and you thought your relationship would be fine. 

You quickly realized however that that wasn't the case, when the two of you started fighting less than two weeks into the tour. The fights weren't anything major, more petty things like ‘did you change the Netflix password’ or ‘why did you take this piece of clothing, that was mine and it was my favourite.’ All around stupid fights. 

You had turned to Calum, who you were closest with, and he consoled you as much as you could. You realized however, that you couldn't be with Chris anymore when he drunk called you in the middle of the night while you were in the UK and got angry with you when you answered and told him to call you back in the morning when he was sober, to which he proceeded to brag that he slept with his co star at the time, Jessica Alba, you freaked out and ended things. 

You got a message from Jessica on instagram the next day letting you know that they did not sleep together, and that she was sorry he even said it. You assured her it was fine, and felt relief.

Relief because you got to the bottom of the situation, but also relief from your relationship. You didn't know what happened in those few weeks, but you knew the relationship was turning toxic, and you wanted to stop it before that happened. Neither you or Chris needed that. You told him you’d find a new place to live, and by the time tour ended, you bought yourself a house in Beverly Hills, and moved out of the apartment.

Chris moved out not long after, and bought his own house. He had tried to stay friends with you, but you didn't want that at that point in time. You were still hurting, and needed time to heal. 

Once you felt ready to date again, you were asked to be Calum’s date to the Peoples Choice Awards, you accepted. You knew Chris would be there, and you were hoping to talk to him, and maybe work it out. He had told you during the break up that he would always wait for you to come back, and that he still loved you, and always would. 

But you knew that wasn't the case when he showed up on the red carpet, with a new actress named Myra Woodfield. You had smiled at him, while trying not to break down inside, but he gave you a dirty look and rolled his eyes at you when Calum wrapped his arm around your waist for a picture. You furrowed your eye brows and took a good look at Myra. 

She looked almost exactly like you. Same build, same hair colour, same eye colour. The only difference is that she was slightly taller than you. You didn't know why he was replacing you, but it hurt. You pushed it out of your head however, and enjoyed the night with your best friend. 

It was a few months later when you were awoken by the constant dinging of your phone. You unlocked it, and saw you had a lot of unread messages from Luke, Ashton, Michael, Calum, and your other best friend Ashe about Chris’s new movie trailer, you sighed. 

You watched the trailer, and sighed when it looked like a recreation of a bunch of moments in your relationship with him, only Myra was in your place. 

Your fans and some of Chris’s had commented on it, and Myra immediately became aggressive with them, and insulted them. She told them that you were a nobody who could make Chris happy, which she was glad about because she made him happy how. 

Within minutes of this happening the hashtag #cancelmyrawoodfield was trending on twitter. You shamelessly went through the tweets and like and retweeted a couple. Then an idea popped in your head.

With a quick google search, you had a plan. 

You had written a new song called Deja Vu after the peoples choice awards, and it was had been recorded a few weeks ago, and you just had to decide on a date to release it, and make a decision on the music video. Her birthday was in about 3 months, which gave you enough time to get everything in place to drop on her birthday. 

Was it evil? Yes. Did you care? Not really. Besides, you inherited your pettiness from your mother and you knew she’d be proud of you. You called your manager and label, and got it planned out. 

When the new music video had been announced, Lisa called you and invited you home to watch it premiere with the family. You accepted, knowing Chris and Myra would be there, and that her birthday would get overshadowed by the release of your music video.

So, three weeks later, you were sitting with Lisa, Bob, Carly, Shanna, Scott, Chris and Myra in Lisa’s living room, waiting for the video to premiere.

Scott had picked you up at the airport earlier in the morning along with Carly and Shanna, and the four of you had a laugh about the face that no one acknowledged Myra’s birthday, not even Chris. It was mean, but no one liked her. 

Lisa absolutely hated her, but didn't want to upset Chris, so you got a call shortly after the PCA’s from her and the two of you ranted about her for a good two hours. 

You watched as the timer counted down from 10, and then the screen turned black. You took a deep breath and watched Chris out of the corner of your eye. 

You had searched for a while for a guy who looked similar to Chris, and you stumbled on Andrew Siwicki. He didn't look exactly like Chris, but it was close enough that everyone would know who the song was about if they didn't already. Andrew was a fan of Chris and hated Myra too, so he was more than glad to help you out. 

The music began to play, and you watched as the black screen faded in on two people walking along the beach, holding hands. 

“Car rides to Malibu Strawberry ice cream One spoon for two And trading jackets Laughing 'bout how small it looks on you,”

The next scene was a recreation of yours and Chris’s first date where you two had a picnic on the beach, and ended up splashing each other with the ocean water. Towards the end, everyone watched as Andrew picked you up and threw you into the water the same way Chris always did. 

You glanced at him, and could have burst into laughter at how uncomfortable Chris looked, but more importantly how angry Myra looked. 

“Watching reruns of Glee Being annoying Singing in harmony I bet she's bragging To all her friends, saying you're so unique, hmm,”

The next scene was you and Andrew (who was dressed as Ransom) on what appeared to be a recreation of the Knives Out set, running around with a dog that looked like Dodger chasing after you, the two of you laughing. The next shot was the two of you kissing behind a trailer, seemingly hiding from production. 

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was our place, I found it first I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you,”

The next scene was the two of you driving through Southern California, in a car that was almost identical to Chris’s. You two were laughing and singing along to the song, your hair whipping around you.

You took a deep breath, knowing this next scene would piss him right off.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? (Ah), hmm Do you get déjà vu, huh?”

This scene was you, along with the rest of Chris’s family sitting around a living room that looked like the one you were in now, a Christmas tree full of presents in the corner. The camera panned across everyone as everyone was talking and settled on you and Andrew and the two of you recreated the scene where Chris whispered in your ear how much he loved you, and couldn't wait to start a family with you. 

“Do you call her Almost say my name? 'Cause let's be honest We kinda do sound the same,”

The screen showed you and Andrew saying goodbye at the airport, with 5 Seconds of Summer standing behind you. They weren't actually there when you left for tour, but Luke suggested it to piss Chris off, and you had agreed. 

Then there was a small montage of clips from tour, including a shot of Michael elbow dropping Ashton into a pool, which made everyone laugh, except Chris and Myra. The montage was followed up by you sitting on the floor of a dressing room and crying as you sent a text that said “I’m done.”

“Another actress I hate to think that I was just your type,”

Now you were on the red carpet, with Calum right beside you. You both were wearing the same clothes you wore on that night, you hair and makeup recreated perfectly. The camera unfocused on you as you turned and looked at Andrew and an actress named Alexa Morrison, who looked a lot like Myra, and they were recreating Chris and Myra’s actions perfectly. The camera swivelled around and came to rest pointing towards your face, as you looked in shock, and a single tear fell down your face. 

“I'll bet that she knows Billy Joel 'Cause you played her Uptown Girl You're singing it together,”

You were shown watching a movie trailer with Ashe sitting next to you, while you sobbed at what Alexa and Andrew were doing. You looked at the camera and began singing the song, while Ashe and everything else around you was frozen.

“Now I bet you even tell her How you love her In between the chorus and the verse (ooh) (I love you),”

You were sat on the bed in Chris’s red flannel that you had stolen before leaving for tour, and you were writing in the notebook aggressively with tears rolling down your face and singing.

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was the show we talked about Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you,”

You were now being shown sitting on the couch, and watching Andrew run across the TV screen dressed as Captain America, an ice cream tub in your hand. You were wearing sweats and a t shirt, your hair in a messy bun.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? Oh Do you get déjà vu?”

The camera circled around you before transitioning to the next scene. 

“Strawberry ice cream in Malibu Don't act like we didn't do that shit too You're trading jackets like we used to do (Yeah, everything is all reused),”

You were shown laying down in bed, and your eyes closing before an image of you and Andrew danced, dressed as Steve and Peggy in endgame, a scene Chris always told you the two of you would recreate one day. You had called Hayley and asked if it was okay, and she immediately said yes, and even came and watched you do the scene.

“Play her piano, but she doesn't know (oh, oh) That I was the one who taught you Billy Joel (oh) A different girl now, but there's nothing new (I know you get déjà vu),”

When your eyes opened, you were sitting at your piano, and playing while singing along. 

“I know you get déjà vu I know you get déjà vu,”

Suddenly, the piano disappeared, and you were left standing in an empty living room as the screen faded to black. 

The entire room burst into cheers as the video ended, except for Myra, who looked like she was going to murder you, and Chris who just clapped with a tight lipped smile. 

Later that night after all the kids had gone to bed and Lisa was driving Bob home,  Scott had pulled you into the kitchen under the pretences of ‘helping him fix a drink’, which ended up just being the two of you gossiping about Chris and Myra, and the music video.

Suddenly, Chris walked in, and nodded for Scott to leave. You cleared your throat and ignored him.

“That was a good song, and an amazing music video.” He said. “I can see you're just getting more and more talented as time-” He began, as you rolled your eyes, and looked at him. 

“What do you want?” You asked bluntly. 

“I just wanted to congratulate you.” He said, and you were about to open your mouth, when Myra came slinking in the room with an evil look on her face. 

“Nice job, Y/N. I’m glad I could inspire your music video.” She said sarcastically, and you could tell Chris was about to defend you, but you opened your mouth first. 

“Well, I’m glad I had such a snake like bitch to draw inspiration from,” You said, and heard Scott, his siblings burst into laughter in the living room. Myra’s jaw dropped and she turned to look at him. You looked up at Chris, who was leaning up against the counter, and biting back a smile.

“You’re just going to let her talk to me like that?” She asked, and Chris sighed.

“Myra, don't start. Not now.” He said, she scoffed. 

“I knew you still loved her. Only a pathetic loser could love someone as ugly and untalented as her.” She spat, and Chris growled. You felt tears welling up in your eyes, and you ran out of the room, your drink abandoned on the counter. 

You ran into your bedroom, where you shut the door, and fell onto the bed in tears. 

Back in the kitchen, Chris had gotten in Myra’s face, and was yelling.

“DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO HER LIKE THAT! SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT IN HER LIFE, AND I WON’T ALLOW YOU TO ADD TO THAT!” He screamed, as Scott, Carly, and Shanna ran to the door, unsure of what to do. “SHE IS SO TALENTED, WAY MORE TALENTED THAN YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON PRODUCTION TOOK SO DAMN LONG, IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET A PERFORMANCE OUT OF YOU! YOU OPENLY INSULTED HER AND HER FANS HOURS AFTER YOU WERE ANNOUNCED TO BE IN THIS MOVIE, AND THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO COME TO ME CRYING BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE FEELINGS GOT HURT!” He screamed, and Shanna ran and backed Chris away from her. 

“YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND! AND ITS MY BIRTHDAY, YET HERE YOU ARE, CONGRATULATING HER FOR A SHITTY MUSIC VIDEO!” Myra screamed, and it was Scott’s turn to get in her face. 

“You need to leave. If you don't we’re going to call the cops.” He stated, and Myra rolled her eyes before storming out of the house. 

Scott turned back to Chris, and was shocked when he saw him in tears. 

“You need to work shit out with Y/N. It’s clear the two of you are still in love, and you need to figure it out as adults,” Scott said, his sisters nodding. Chris took a deep breath, and looked at your closed bedroom door.

Chris walked up to your bedroom door, and took a deep breath before entering the room where he used to sleep in every night.

He opened the door, and saw you curled up in a ball on the bed, your body still shaking. He smiled sadly, and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He sat on the bed behind you, and rubbed your back gently. 

“I’m sorry. Not just for what Myra said, but for everything. For breaking your heart, and for causing you so much pain. I didn't realize how much I was missing you too until we watched that music video and I saw how truly broken you were. I never noticed that before now. And I’m sorry I didn't. If I’d have, I could have fixed this sooner, and we could be together right now.” He said.

You furrowed your brows at his last sentence and sat up.

“W-What?” You asked, and Chris moved closer. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug. 

“I still love you. So so much.” He smiled, and a tear rolled down his face. “You're my entire world, and not having you here is slowly breaking me apart. I didn't know just how much until today, but I can't live another day without you.” He said. “I’m so sorry I hurt you baby.” He sobbed, and his head buried itself into your hair. Your body shook with sobs too, and you turned around to face him.

“I love you too.” You sobbed out. “I never should have ended things, but-” You said, but were cut off by Chris’s lips on yours, and you felt yourself melting into it.

He pulled away a few seconds later. “Don't. It was my fault, not yours. I am so sorry, and I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for it, I promise.” He said, as he stood the two of you up and led you out of the room, and to his.

“Where are we going?” You asked, and Chris pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“I have to grab something.” He said. He opened his closet, and grabbed something out of the top corner before turning to you. 

“I said I planned on spending the rest of my life making it up to you, and I plan on keeping that promise.” He said, as he got down on one knee. You gasped, as he opened the box and your dream engagement ring was inside. “I want you for the rest of my life, and the next. Will you marry me?” he asked, tears pouring down his face, just like yours.

You nodded enthusiastically, and Chris stood up. He placed the ring on your ring finger and scooped you up. “I love you,” You choked out, and Chris sobbed harder into you. 

“I love you too, and I’m never letting you go.”

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[snzunii]

Hello, idk if you’re accepting AoT requests. But Levi Angst. Heavy Angst. Plot Like Happier by Olivia Rodrigo Angst. You write them soo well ily

JUST CAN'T SAY GOOD BYE.

you were a page in his life that no matter what, he wouldn’t turn back again.

+ pairings. levi ackerman x f!reader.

+ tags. angst. hurt no comfort.

+ word count. 1.3k

+ note. hi hi, idk if this is heavy enough sydkshssj and it's the first time that i wrote abt levi again soooooo idk if this is good, anw i didn't base most of the plot on the song, i hope that's okay : ( i hope u still like it anon! thanks for requesting and reading my works ilysm!! <3

“Hi.”

That’s the only thing that came out from your mouth. You don’t know what else to say. What else would you say to the man that you have loved so much? To the man that you have let slip away from you?

“Hey.” he greeted back.

He’s still the same, you think. He still has this unique glow on him, the look on his face that you have always adored. The neatly styled raven hair, the gray piercing eyes and the calm demeanor— it’s still there.

He’s still Levi.

But not yours anymore. You’re not the person who’s playing with his hair while you cuddle on that couch, you’re not the one who’s he looking lovingly at with that gray iris, not anymore.

“Come in.” you said as you open the door widely, letting him inside the apartment that you both used to live in. Now, you’re left alone in here, everywhere you look has his trace. Every corner has this lingering memory that no matter how hard you try— you couldn’t get it out of your mind.

“I was supposed to clean your things up but I haven’t had the time.”

You had the time but every single time your fingers touch the things that he left, you always end up in your bed; turned to your side, knees to your stomach, tears cascading down from your eyes while you hold that stupid shirt that Levi owns.

You can’t bring yourself to pack his things up because it would mean that he’s really gone, deep down you know that no matter he wouldn’t come back but somehow you couldn’t accept it.

“It’s alright.” he answered you while you both walk to the bedroom, the room where you did spend some days laying on the bed all day; sleeping, laughing, bickering at stupid little things then laughing again.

You chuckled awkwardly, “Sorry, the room is a mess. I’m busy, you know.”

Levi just shook his head in disbelief, “You were always this messy, you know?”

“What? Excuse me? I’m not!”

“Oh, really? You remember that I was always the one who’s cleaning in here? I had to drag your ass out of the bed just to help me...” his voice faded when he saw the look on your face.

Damn, this really hurts. It really hurts you; every memory was stabbing your fragile heart. You feel every string in your heart snapping into two. You can almost feel the tears coming so you smiled, you smiled as if you were alright.

Because you told him that you’ll be alright, that’s the last thing you told him before he turned his back and leave you pretending that everything will be alright with him gone.

“Okay, come on.” you said to distract yourself, “I’ll help you pack your things up.”

You walked first and opened the closet where you shoved some of the stuff that he left, Levi followed you and got the empty box from the table beside the bed. You both sat on the floor as you sort things out.

The first thing that you got was the medal that Levi won years ago. “This was supposed to be mine.”

“You’re still bitter about that?” the smug tone in his voice made you scoff, “I won that debate fair and square.”

“Okay. If you say so.” you said sarcastically and placed the medal on its own box and into the box where you would put all his things.

That debate was the root of it all. You were opponents and you really hated him because you thought that he cheated and bribed the judges— you wouldn’t admit it but you really think he deserved that win.

But you’re stubborn, you would always glare or roll your eyes at him whenever you pass by the hallway and he’s just so full from it that he asked you out to eat because even though you’re mean to him he was attracted to you but he told you that dinner was a consolation that you lost.

And the next you knew, you were eating on that diner for a month until he confessed his feelings to you; you went out, you graduated high school and college, you both saved money and bought this apartment.

Everything was good, you were happy. You made plans to be together until you were old but everything just went to shit.

You both tried fixing it, or at least you tried. Levi? He did all he can to salvage your relationship to the point that he lost himself in the process.

But no matter what, if it isn’t meant to be then it’s not, right?

No matter how happy you both were, it wasn’t meant to be.

You took a deep breath and blinked, letting the tears fall from the side of your eyes but you ignored it and got that picture frame, “Hey, look. I gave you this one on our anniversary.”

It was a house that you sketched, that Levi was supposed to build for the two of you.

“Oh, yeah.” he got the frame from you, you looked at his face and for a moment there, the expression that he made before when he first saw the sketch flashed in your mind.

Seeing his expression now, he didn’t have the same sparkle in his eyes anymore. Because he isn’t imagining what would your life would be like in that house anymore.

That house would remain in a piece of paper that would be buried and forgotten, just like you. You were a page in his life that no matter what, he wouldn’t turn back again.

You thought you could do this.

You thought you could keep yourself together once you saw him again.

“Levi.”

“Hm?”

He looked at you and stopped when he saw tears falling from your eyes, “I can’t. I can’t do this without you.”

You curl your knees up to your stomach, burying your face on the palm of your hands as you sob. It has been months since you two fell apart, you know you should get on with your life because he already did.

He picked himself back up again and gave himself to a person who wouldn’t break him like you did.

You wanted to be happy for him and accept that he moved on. You wanted to let him go but somehow, you’re still holding on to the string that connected you to him, but Levi freed himself from that string a long time ago.

“Levi, I’m sorry.” you sobbed, “Please... I can’t. I need you.”

You looked at his face, you didn’t care how desperate or selfish you sound. All you could think was how stupid you are for letting him go, for wasting all the years that you have been together.

But it really doesn’t matter now, does it?

He’s with somebody else.

“I’m sorry.” he sighed as he stood up, “Let’s do this some other time.”

You bit your lip and stopped yourself from crying any further, you know it wouldn’t be like before, where he would embrace you in his arms and tell you that he’s there.

As you said before, he’s still Levi, but not your Levi.

You followed him outside the bedroom and before he could step out of the apartment, you wrapped your arms around his waist, leaning your head on his back.

“You love her?” you asked, voice shaking as you tighten your grasp on his waist. You heard him sigh before mumbling an ‘I do’. You squeezed your eyes tightly shut, tears slowly falling down as you open them again. “As much as you loved me?”

You just wish you didn’t ask this question; you know his answer would just tear your heart even more into pieces. You want him to be happy, not with her, but with you.

“I love her.” he paused, “More than I loved you.”

[wellthatwasaletdown]

It's so crazy how much this man has aged in the past two years. He looks terrible"... i agree anon. And he looks very very untidy

Different opinion & probably not a popular one, but I think Harry is still really cute. I also think he tries to look untidy bc he doesn't necessarily want to be seen as a heartthrob anymore. Especially while having a girlfriend that has two young children. Kids their ages probably have posters of Harry on their walls. Poor Daisy. it's possible that she might even have a little crush on him (she's at that age) which is frightening when you think about what her mother is doing in the very next room w him. I hope the courts consider that too bc I think Olivia shacking up w Harry is one thing, but she shouldn't involve her children. If she were married to Harry, that would be different. Then he would be considered their stepdad.

I feel the same way about Jason. I hope he's not shacking up w anyone yet. These ppl aren't like us. They are celebrities & their every move is documented. Their kids see everything & have to hear about it at school. Kids are mean. Not everyone loves Harry & you can't make preschoolers sign NDA's. Good grief.

I also believe Harry tries to grow a mustached & doesn't shave as often bc he is trying to look older. Not more mature, just older. He is dating someone that is nearing 40 & let's face it, most of the time he still looks like a teenager. Not so much when he looks unkept & unshaven.

And one more thing while I'm thinking abt it. I saw someone say Olivia & Jason no longer talk? How sad. When we first learned abt HO she was still close to Jason. Close enough that we saw a video of her embracing him & kissing him & looking at him as if he still hung the moon. That was the end of December 2020.

So, since she's been w Harry, she no longer speaks to the father of her children? I just find that really, really sad for her kid's sake. And can't help but indirectly blame Harry. I think he has a lot of influence on her & that's obvious in the way she follows him wherever HE goes.

And she wants to permanently move Jason's children to London for Harry. If Harry loved Olivia & cared about her children even a little bit, he wouldn't allow that to happen. He would move to CA for her & the sake of her children. He would be encouraging her, as a good partner & human, to have a healthy relationship w Jason so they can continue working on co-parenting & making a better life for Daisy & Otis.

I can't help but think Harry saw that video & maybe felt threatened by Jason thinking maybe Olivia still had feelings for him. Also threatened by what Olivia shares w Jason. This is the first time that we know of that Harry has dated someone w children. I don't care how much H loves kids, that's not an easy adjustment.

I think the Harry we see is very different from the one we don't see. just from the things he has said himself, I believe he is not only a jealous person, but stubborn & likes things his way or no way & get the hell out of my way. That will get old over time.

I'm really sorry this is so long. If you made it this far thank you.

I think you nailed it pretty much.

[destinyc1020]

I love tomdaya so much but I've just been feeling recently that z doesnt value the friendship (or whatever they have) as much as Tom does. Yes I'm aware that shes a lot more guarded than he is but shes not giving even half of the energy that he is. They've both done a TON of press these past few months and hes mentioned her countless times unprompted while shes not mentioned him once except for when she was asked for a direct quote. I just wish she talk abt him like she talks abt timmy n hunter

I think it’s good to keep in mind that if Tom is calling Zendaya one of his “BEST friends”, then it’s pretty safe to say that they really ARE close friends, regardless of what we may (or may NOT) see going on bts, or what we hear Zendaya saying herself. 😏 

Like I said long time ago with the whole Tadia breakup thing... Obviously Z is giving Tom SOMETHING bts, cuz no guy I know is gonna be talking about a woman like that if she’s not close to him or being his “friend” in SOME manner. 😏   You have to start trusting Tom’s actions lol. 

Plus, Z has talked about Tom before in the past.  Even when they were already broken up during the FFH press tour, she was still recounting funny stories about him on set, expressing her fear of him being in the Spider-Man suit and not being able to take it off in time if he over-exerted himself, and she’s also talked about him lots back during HOCO press.  She was also recently featured in his Esquire interview giving her comments about him on Cherry.

Another thing to consider is that for all we know, she might feel like the LESS she speaks on him, the LESS hate or speculation she might get from his rabid fans. 🥴👀 🤷🏾‍♀️ Keep in mind, Z suffers from anxiety. It's smthg she's working on. Not ALL of Tom's fans are "rabid" of course, but there's a pretty good segment of them that are. I've also noticed that when it comes to celebrity males who are popular in the public eye, it's usually the WOMAN who receives a lot of the hate simply for dating (or even just being friends with) the guy. 🙄 I've seen first-hand some of the hate that comes through, and the bigger the fanbase, the worse the hate is. 🥴 Tom is even hesitant to admit a breakup for fear that his fans will automatically hate on the girl and assume SHE must have done smthg wrong, when maybe she didn't! Zendaya is also a woc, and that automatically equals = more hate. If they hated on Olivia and Nadia, then they surely hate on Zendaya too. So, there might be a little of that element too going on. In fact, Tom might be letting his fans know in little subtle ways what the deal is (Zendaya is a special "friend" to him) so that IF they are ever spotted out together one day, his fans already know where he stands. 🤷🏾‍♀️

If it makes you feel any better, I don’t recall Z talking about JE not ONCE in an interview (not even while they were dating).  And JE has a MUCH smaller fanbase than Tom's, and most of them aren't full of rage or jealousy if he's dating someone, cuz he came on to the scene already pretty much dating Joey before TKB made him "famous". The only snippets that fans got on Z’s feelings about JE were done during a televised award ceremony, where he asked her to present him with an award.  If he had not asked her to present him with an award, I doubt she would have been going around blabbing her mouth about JE either lol! 😅

Tbh, the fact that Z isn’t going around talking about Tom non-stop might actually be a good sign if you think about it lol. If she all of a sudden started talking about Tom non-stop, I might be wondering if they really did decide to just go the “just friends” route, because it would be so DIFFERENT from how she was with him in the past.  👀  The fact that she’s being the same with him and still remaining private about their “friendship” makes me think that there might be something deeper going on. Otherwise, she’d just talk about him like she talks freely about her other buddies like Hunter, Sam, Kamil, Timmy, JDW, etc.  

I don’t even think that she really talks about her friends out of the blue randomly tbh... (not even Darnell or Kamil tbh). Sometimes she’ll also mention a “friend” or her “British friends” (lol), but she’s not usually dropping names in interviews.   I can’t even remember the last time she mentioned some of her closest friends in an interview.   I think she only brings them up if asked about them,  or if the question somehow involves working with them tbh. 🤷   She mentions Sam like a parrot because she has been promoting HIS movie, which he “wrote for her”, she’s the lead in his TV show “Euphoria”, and he’s her boss, and essentially he’s someone who she owes a LOT to as far as helping her to  branch out from the “Disney” persona.   But other than that... her more recent interviews over the past several years has her being more private imo.    

And I can’t get over the almost “deer-caught-in-headlights” look on her face when Jimmy asked if she had Thanksgiving dinner with “Spider-Man/Spider-Men” during her interview on Kimmel...lol... 👀  Then she quickly relaxed a little when she realized he was only trying to get her to spill the beans on Tobey/Andrew.  Even if Jimmy was specifically asking about Tom directly, a “just-a-friend” would have just said: “Oh yea, we did! A small group of us got together and celebrated a little Thanksgiving...it was so much fun!”  (<----That’s a “normal” response lol) 

Imo, the fact that she tries to keep that part of her life private, and doesn’t really broadcast her “friendship” with Tom tells me a lot actually.  

She’s just a private person.  It doesn’t mean that she appreciates their friendship any less.   🤷

For Tom to be gushing about her in interviews (unprompted mind you), it’s obvious that they’re CLOSE lol... There’s no way it’s not being reciprocated. JMHO.   

[calumcest]

i want to teach you a lesson (in the worst kind of way)

me writing 5.6k in 4 hours and pretending my essays/presentation/exams/dissertation don’t exist? it’s more likely than you think

thank u jex for listening to me scream abt this for the past 4 hours and for always being the sweetest and most encouraging person in the world you are truly such a positive influence in my life 

also this is based off a prompt i got i think in 2014 never say i don’t provide! i would link the post but honestly it’s just got my 16 year old self’s embarrassing screams on it so frankly i would rather not so instead i will provide you with a screenshot of the ask under the cut 

[ao3]

-

“Who’s that, sir?” Lily asks, jabbing at the window.

“The new PE teacher,” Michael says.

“He’s cute,” Sarah says, and a couple of the girls nod vigorously.

“He’s also twice your age,” Michael says. “Go on, off to your practice rooms.” The girls groan, but one by one pull themselves away from the window and start to wander off. Michael stays by the window, one eye on the girls to make sure they actually go where they’re supposed to and one eye on the new PE teacher, who’s dividing the class up into groups and handing out footballs. He is kind of hot, Michael supposes, if you’re into muscular guys who are clearly good at sports. Which Michael most definitely is.

-

Michael Clifford loves his job. 

Sure, the staff room politics can get a bit exhausting (although Michael would be lying if he didn’t admit to loving all the drama he wasn’t personally involved in), and the kids can drive him up the fucking wall, but at the end of the day, there’s nothing he’d rather be doing than teaching. 

Except today. Today, when a good portion of 10C has somehow exploded into an argument over whether or not Julia snatched a guitar when Sam was about to take it, he thinks he’d rather be a human guinea pig for infectious diseases, or something. It probably pays better, anyway.

“Sam,” he says sternly, and he turns to look at Michael, anger written all over his face. “There are plenty of guitars in the cupboard. Let Julia have that one.”

“But sir, that’s the only one which-” 

“I don’t care,” Michael says, holding up a hand, because he’s perfectly aware that it’s the only guitar which stays in tune longer than thirty seconds. He’s been begging for a budget increase since the day he joined the school. “It’s one lesson, it’s not an exam, you can deal with it for forty-five minutes.” 

“But Mr Clifford-” Lucy pipes up, ready to defend Sam. 

“No, Lucy,” he says firmly. “I want all of you in the practice rooms, now.” Sam glares at him furiously and stomps off without an instrument in his hands, Lucy and Pip running behind him to one of the practice rooms outside the main classroom. Michael decides he’s got enough on his plate without inserting himself into hormonally-charged teenage drama, so he lets them go, rounding on Noel and Olivia, who are still arguing with Julia, Brandon hovering awkwardly nearby. 

“I don’t want to hear anything else about this,” Michael cuts in, and Noel and Olivia round on Michael instead. 

“Sir, she stole it from-”

“He was about to pick it u-”

“I don’t want to spend my lunchtime in detention, and unless you two do I suggest you get your instruments and go to your practice rooms,” Michael says curtly, trying to refrain from pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He’s getting a stress-induced headache already, and it’s the first lesson of the day. 

“Fine,” Olivia spits, full of the kind of melodrama only a fifteen-year-old can summon, and Michael tries not to roll his eyes as they stalk off to one of the practice rooms at the back of the classroom without so much as another glance in his direction. He’s pretty sure he hears one of them mutter fuck you under their breath as they walk away, and he feels momentarily bad before he remembers they’ll have forgotten about it by their next lesson. 

“Don’t do it again,” is all he says tiredly to Julia, who nods meekly, and scampers off to join her group in one of the other practice rooms at the back of the classroom. That being sorted, Michael turns back to the rest of the class, to find about eight of the girls gathered at the window, chattering excitedly. 

“That doesn’t look like composing a short piece on three instruments to me,” he says, wandering over, and a bunch of the girls look back at him with a look of excitement on their faces. 

“Who’s that, sir?” Lily asks, jabbing at the window and leaving a mark. Michael peers over their heads to see a distant figure standing on the field with a class that looks like it might be 7A. All he can make out is that it’s a guy, with what looks like a mess of dark brown hair and a couple of tattoos on his (very muscular, Michael notes with approval) arms that he’s waving around, clearly explaining something. 

Michael vaguely remembers Paula, the headmistress, saying something about a new PE teacher starting this week, but he’d been too busy whisper-explaining to Luke why Magic: The Gathering was a great game and he should definitely play it with Michael to remember what she’d said the guy was called. 

“The new PE teacher,” he says, hoping they won’t ask what he’s called.

“He’s cute,” Sarah says, and a couple of the girls nod vigorously.

“He’s also twice your age,” Michael says. “Go on, off to your practice rooms.” The girls groan, but one by one pull themselves away from the window and start to wander off. Michael stays by the window, one eye on the girls to make sure they actually go where they’re supposed to and one eye on the new PE teacher, who’s dividing the class up into groups and handing out footballs. He is kind of hot, Michael supposes, if you’re into muscular guys who are clearly good at sports. Which Michael most definitely is. 

Huh, he thinks, pushing himself away from the window and heading to the first practice room to make sure Noel, Olivia and Brandon have calmed down a bit. Sarah’s kind of right. 

 ------- 

 Michael has a free period fourth period, and even if he usually wouldn’t be seen dead on the field, it’s a beautiful day, and it is on the route to the staff room. Well, it’s on a route to the staff room, at least, and if that route happens to be five minutes longer than simply walking through the building and over the quad, then Michael doesn’t need to know about it. He could do with the exercise, he tells himself. It’s nothing to do with the new PE teacher. 

When Michael gets down to the field, the PE teacher’s gathering up the footballs from the previous lesson and stuffing them in the big netted bag that’s been threatening to break for about five years. He turns around after picking up the last one and spots Michael (who is definitely not staring) cutting across the top part of the field. He raises a hand, and Michael’s not really sure if he’s waving or telling him to get the fuck off the field, but then he’s gathering the bag in one hand and jogging over, and Michael’s absolutely not watching the lines of his muscles as he makes his way over. 

“Hi!” the guy says, grinning widely, and fucking hell, he’s even hotter up close. He’s got dark brown eyes, crinkled at the corners with the brilliant smile currently gracing his full lips, and his dark hair is curled, falling into his face slightly. “I’m Calum. Calum Hood. I’m new.” 

“I’m Michael Clifford,” Michael says. “I’m not.” He curses inwardly as soon as the words have left his lips - he should be legally restricted from talking to hot guys, honestly - but Calum laughs, laughs, and it’s not fake, if the twinkle in his eyes is anything to go by. 

“I gathered,” he says. “So, what do you teach?” 

“Music,” Michael says. “You’re PE?” Calum nods. 

“Music’s my second, though,” he says. 

“Oh?” Michael wants to die. Of course hot PE guy can teach Music, of all things. He was literally crafted by God to upset Michael. 

“Yeah,” Calum says, with a smile. “I mean, I’m sure I’m nowhere near as good as you, but I play guitar, and a little piano. Bass is my real love, though.” 

“Bass?” Michael says, trying his best not to imagine Calum’s long fingers flying across a fretboard. 

“Yeah,” Calum says. “I played in a band, for a bit, but, y’know.” He gestures at himself. “Clearly didn’t work out.” 

“That’s pretty fucking cool, though,” Michael says, genuinely impressed. “And hey, bassist to secondary school PE teacher is an upgrade.” Calum laughs. 

“Fuck you, man,” he says, but he’s grinning, and Michael feels a warmth spreading from his toes to his cheeks. “Hey, are you heading to the staff room?” Michael nods. “Mind if I tag along? I’m still finding my way around.” 

“Sure,” Michael says, shrugging and hoping it conceals the fact that he kind of wants to turn back to the safety of his music room and bang his head on the wall until he forgets someone as perfect as Calum Hood exists on the same planet as him. 

“Sweet,” Calum says, beaming at him as he holds up the bag of footballs. “Let me just lock these in the shed and I’ll be right with you.” 

Yeah, sweet, Michael thinks, as Calum turns on his heel and jogs away from Michael over to the tiny shed in the corner of the field which houses all the outdoor equipment. Not like Michael’s already head over heels in love, or anything. 

Sweet. 

 ------- 

 Calum’s officially introduced in the staff room at lunchtime on his first day, but Michael has lunch duty on a Monday so he misses it. Luke and Ashton tell him Calum’s a big hit in the staff room, “really charming, and have you seen his arms?”, which just puts Michael in a bad mood, because he now has competition. 

It’s three days before Michael bumps into Calum again, in his free second period, which he’s spending catching up on all the marking that was due, like, two weeks ago and is still unfinished. 

“Hey, Michael!” Calum says cheerfully, sitting down opposite Michael at the desk that he’s entirely covered with a careful class-organised system of marking. “Oh, shit, are you busy?” 

“No,” Michael says immediately, because what’s his job compared to conversation with the hottest guy in Australia? “What’s up?” Calum shrugs. 

“Just wanted a chat,” he says. “Haven’t seen you in a few days. You been hiding from me?” His eyes are twinkling as he says it, and it makes Michael’s stomach flip, because it’s pretty friendly for a guy he’s met once. If Michael were anyone else, he would say Calum might almost be flirting. Maybe Calum’s just like that, though. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything. 

“Been catching up on marking,” Michael says, indicating all the papers on the desk. “I’m literally going to stop setting homework, I swear to God.” 

“Can’t say I relate,” Calum says, with a grin. “Perks of being a PE teacher.” 

“Yeah, but you have to deal with, like, concussions, and shit,” Michael says, capping his pen. 

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and all that,” Calum says breezily, and Michael snorts. 

“Typical PE teacher,” he says. “I could have had my leg cut off and my PE teacher would have made me keep running.” Calum smirks. 

“Well, you have another leg, don’t you?” he says, and laughs when Michael scowls. “I’m kidding. I’d let you do push ups instead.” Michael rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning. 

“How generous,” he says. Calum grins back at him, and Michael’s heart does a fucking backwards somersault, or something ridiculous. 

“That’s what you get for saying PE teacher is an upgrade from bassist,” he says. 

“Hey, that’s just the natural order of things,” Michael says. “It’s not my fault bass is at the bottom of the musical food chain.” 

“What’s music without the rhythm section?” Calum says, stretching, and Michael tries his best not to stare at the sliver of skin that’s exposed under his shirt. 

“Acoustic?” Michael offers, and Calum huffs out a laugh, bringing his arms (and shirt, Michael thinks wistfully) back down. 

“Fuck,” he says agreeably. “Guess my band could have carried on without me.” 

“What kind of music did you play?” Michael asks. Calum shrugs. 

“A bit of everything,” he says. “We started on All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, that kind of a thing, got more Radiohead and Tame Impala vibes as we went on.” Jesus Christ. Michael has literally died and gone to heaven, because there is absolutely no way a man this perfect exists anywhere other than in Michael’s imagination. 

“Mate, I fucking love All Time Low,” Michael says, and a smile unfurls on Calum’s lips. 

“Have you heard their new album?” 

“Yeah,” Michael says. “Fuck, Monsters? What a fucking tune.”

“Right?” Calum says enthusiastically. “And Basement Noise?” 

“Fucking sick,” Michael agrees. 

“You’ve got good taste,” Calum says approvingly. Michael opens his mouth to say something - you’re just saying that to get in my pants is on the tip of his tongue - but he’s interrupted (or possibly saved from eternal embarrassment) by Ashton sitting down heavily next to him. 

“Hey, Michael,” he says, throwing a dimpled smile in his direction. “Hey, Calum.”

“Hey, Ashton,” Calum says. “How’s the Year 10 clay project coming along?”

“Oh, you know,” Ashton says, leaning back in his seat and pushing his curls out of his face. “Two busts have been decapitated so far, so we’re doing pretty well, all things considered.” 

“Nice,” Michael says approvingly. 

“I know you’re talking about the decapitations, Mike, you don’t fool me,” Ashton says knowingly. Michael scowls. 

“Was it Sam?” he asks, needing to know who to high-five in his next lesson.

“No, Noel,” Ashton says. 

“10C? Short kid, really fucking fast?” Calum asks. Michael shrugs. How is Michael supposed to know how fast he is? It’s not like Noel’s Naruto running through the music room. 

“Yeah,” Ashton says, because apparently Noel’s Naruto running through the art room. 

“He’s really fucking good with a ball,” Calum says, and Michael bites back an awful innuendo with a lot of difficulty. Not in front of Ashton, he tells himself. 

“He’s lacking a passion,” Ashton says. “He’s good at art, but he messes around too much.” 

“Same with Music,” Michael says. “He’s got a temper on him, too.” 

“Well, maybe I can get him to channel it into football,” Calum says seriously. “Kids need an outlet, and something they feel like they’re good at. He needs something to be proud of.” 

Fuck, Michael thinks, as Ashton enthusiastically responds in kind, staring at Calum as he nods along to whatever Ashton’s saying with a thoughtful frown. He’s definitely in love. 

 ------- 

 Calum and Michael fall into a bit of a routine. 

They don’t share a lot of free periods together, only the fourth on Monday and second on Thursday, but Michael will wait at the corner of the field for Calum to finish clearing up after his last lesson and they’ll walk to the staff room together, sitting and chatting shit for an hour about nothing in particular. 

Michael learns that Calum’s got a sister, Mali, who’s in the music industry and whom he’s incredibly proud of, and that he’s half-Kiwi, half-Scottish, and grew up in western Sydney, not too far from Michael. He learns that Calum loves dogs more than he loves either bass or football, loves his dog (Duke) more than he loves anything else on the planet, likes playing Fifa and eating ice cream, and that his biggest fear is not having an impact on the world. He learns that Calum genuinely loves teaching, that Noel’s finding his feet with football and he’s really enjoying it, and that Calum almost went professional with football. 

(“Is there anything you aren’t fucking talented at?” Michael says grumpily, when Calum tells him that. Calum laughs. 

“Asking cute boys out,” he says, throwing Michael a grin, and Michael’s stomach flips.) 

And so he also learns that Calum’s gay, and that he’s been single his whole life. 

(“Are you serious? Michael says incredulously. Calum shrugs. 

“I’m not a blushing virgin, Michael,” he says, seeing the look on Michael’s face, and Michael scowls. 

“I didn’t say you were,” Michael says sullenly, but he’s secretly more than a little jealous of these nameless, faceless boys that have had the honour of fucking Calum Hood.) 

Of course, Michael’s not the only one in the school to notice Calum. 

A majority of the girls, and a good number of the boys, sing Calum’s praises to Michael every opportunity they get. He hears them talking in the corridors when Calum breezes past, smiling at them but eyes lighting up when he brushes past Michael (which Michael tries desperately not to think about when he’s staring out of the window daydreaming in the middle of a lesson). The staff are no better, either - Brenda and Caroline have been gossiping about Calum’s muscles so loudly that Michael only half-jokingly threatened to file a sexual harassment suit against them on his behalf. 

One thing that having an incredibly hot PE teacher has done wonders for, though, is school morale. 

It’s the only reason Michael’s standing at the corner of a wet field on a freezing May afternoon, wrapped in a thick coat and scarf and somehow still shivering, huddled between Luke and Ashton, whom he’d bribed-slash-threatened to join him because he didn’t want to be too obvious about it. 

(“Mike, I don’t think you could be less obvious about being in love with Calum if you tried,” Luke had said, rolling his eyes, but then Michael had pulled out his trump card - he’d give Luke his coveted spot in the corner of the staff room - and Luke had agreed to go.) 

“I fucking hate you,” Luke mumbles into the scarf currently covering a good half of his face. “I’m so fucking cold. This is not worth it to get you laid.”

“Fuck you,” Michael says automatically, eyes on Calum. He’s shouting encouragement and tactics at the Year 12 football team - not that Michael can hear it above the cheers and boos from the rest of the school and their opposition - but he looks so fucking good, brow creased as he focuses on the game. 

“Are there usually this many people at football games?” Ashton asks, looking around in wonder. “There aren’t, are there?”

“How d’you expect us to know?” Luke asks, exasperated. “We’re not usually at football games either.” 

“We’re being good friends,” Ashton tells Luke, a little sternly, and Luke huffs, but doesn’t say anything else. 

Their team scores, and the crowd erupts into cheers, because it’s now only two minutes until the end of the game and they’re two-one up, so it’s unlikely the result will change. Calum still looks determined, though, muttering something to Ben, the Year 12 captain, who nods and jogs back across the bitch to prepare for the kick-off. 

“I hate this,” Luke whines after a minute, because that’s apparently as long as he can keep quiet without reminding everyone how miserable he is. “This is why I’m a Maths teacher.” 

“Shut up,” Michael says, and then the final whistle blows and Calum’s face is finally relaxing, tension dissipating from his posture as he cheers with the rest of the crowd. 

“Calum looks really good tonight,” Ashton says, sending a glance in Michael’s direction.

“Alright, fuck me, I guess,” Luke grumbles. Ashton rolls his eyes. 

“You’re such a fucking bitch sometimes,” he says, but he looks around furtively before snaking his arm around Luke’s waist and giving it a quick squeeze. 

“Everyone knows you’re fucking,” Michael comments, still staring at Calum. “You don’t have to be sly about it.” 

“No they don’t,” Luke says, leaning into Ashton’s touch. 

“Yes, they do,” Michael says, and then he forgets what he was going to say next because Calum makes eye contact with him from across the pitch and gives him a huge grin, and Michael’s stomach bottoms out. “Fuck, he’s grinning at me.” 

“Well, grin back, idiot,” Ashton says, so Michael does. Calum holds his gaze for a moment, and then turns back to his team, leaving Michael feeling a little unsteady. 

“I’m in love,” he declares, for the nintieth time that week. 

“We know,” Luke says grumpily. 

 ------- 

 Michael’s halfway through marking 8A’s elements of music test when there’s a knock at the door. He looks up, expecting to see Luke or Ashton, not Calum. He looks out of place in his football kit in the music room, and Michael’s brain short-circuits as it tries to reconcile a hot man in Michael’s music room. 

“Hey,” he says, sticking his head around the door. “Am I disturbing you?”

“No,” Michael says, because Calum could walk in on him taking a shit and wouldn’t be disturbing him. “What’s up?” Calum steps into the room, clicking the door shut behind him, and throws himself down on a seat opposite Michael’s desk.

“So,” he says. “You know All Time Low are here next weekend?” Michael nods. He’s planning on going with Luke and Ashton. “I might have got two tickets to Sunday night.” 

“That’s sick,” Michael enthuses. “Who are you going with?” Calum throws Michael an odd look, somewhere between exasperation and amusement. 

“Well, I was hoping you’d want to come?” he says. Michael blinks. 

“Me?” he says. 

“Yeah,” Calum says, and there’s definitely a hint of amusement in his tone now. 

“I, uh.” Michael’s not really sure how to speak without saying yes, please, and please let me suck your dick while I’m at it. He swallows, hoping it’ll make the words disappear from the tip of his tongue. “I’d fucking love to.” Calum grins, looking relieved, and Michael realises that he must have been nervous . Something about that sends a thrill coursing through his veins - he’d made Calum nervous, somehow. 

“Sweet,” he says happily. “Text me your address? I’ll pick you up at five.” Michael just nods, not really trusting himself to speak, and Calum pulls himself up out of the chair, throwing him one last smile before he leaves the room. 

Fuck, Michael thinks, as the door swings shut behind Calum, pulling his phone out to Google how to fall out of love with a colleague. 

(It doesn’t help him at all.) 

 ------- 

 Next Sunday comes around faster than Michael had expected, given how much he’s been thinking about it. 

Luke and Ashton had been a little incensed when he’d told them he was no longer going with them but with Calum.

(“What?” Luke had said crossly. “Michael, you already bought your ticket.” 

“Yeah, but it’s a choice between third-wheeling you or one-on-one time with the love of my life,” Michael says dramatically. “What do you expect me to choose?”) 

At five to five, Michael’s sat in his living room, leg jiggling nervously as he checks his phone every two milliseconds just in case he’s somehow missed a notification from Calum in the time it’s taken him to blink. 

Calum, though, doesn’t even text to say he’s arrived, just rings the doorbell at five on the dot, scaring Michael shitless. 

“Hi,” Calum says, smiling, when Michael opens the door. He’s wearing a Nine Inch Nails shirt and straight-leg blue jeans, which should look incredibly nineties and not good at all, but somehow makes Michael want to drop to his knees right there and then. Although, he supposes, that’s what Michael wants to do regardless of what Calum is wearing, so it’s probably nothing to do with that. “You look gorgeous.” Michael has to bite his cheek to check whether he’s still alive and not, like, ascended to heaven.

“Thanks,” Michael mumbles when his mouth floods with pain and it becomes clear that yes, he is actually still alive, feeling heat rise to his cheeks from the sheer intimacy of this moment with a colleague-slash-friend-slash-soulmate-but-he-doesn’t-know-it. He’s so used to seeing Calum in the context of school that it feels strange to see him in normal clothes, standing on Michael’s doorstep. 

“Are you ready, or, like, d’you want me to stand here all evening?” Calum says after a moment, and Michael steps out of the house with a scowl. 

“Fuck you,” he says, trailing behind Calum as they walk to his car. 

“Maybe if you’re lucky,” Calum says, and Michael chokes on his next breath. Calum, however, doesn’t seem to notice, as he’s getting into the car and starting the engine. Michael takes the opportunity to splutter for a second, re-learning how to breathe for the first time in twenty-five years, and takes a deep breath before getting in the passenger side of the car. 

“What d’you reckon’s going to be on the set list?” Calum asks, reversing out of Michael’s driveway and setting off down the street. Michael hums in consideration. 

“Aside from the obvious?” he says. 

“No, Michael, tell me that Dear Maria’s going to be on the set list,” Calum says sarcastically. Michael scowls. 

“I’d punch you if you weren’t driving,” he tells Calum, and Michael sees him grin in the dim light. 

“I’ve found my shield,” Calum says, running a stop sign. Michael squawks as they swerve into the road, grabbing onto the handle on the door. Calum rolls his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic, I’ve seen how you drive.” 

“Fuck off,” Michael says, scowling, but he can’t deny it. Speed is more important than safety, is his motto - mainly because he always sets off at least ten minutes late. 

“So?” Calum prompts. “Set list?” 

“I hope Monsters,” Michael says. “But honestly? I’d love some of the older stuff on there too.” 

“Yeah, I miss Stella being on the set list,” Calum says wistfully. 

“You saw them when Stella was on the set list?” 

“Yeah,” Calum says, a tad smug, and okay, fuck him. 

“Fuck,” Michael says, and he can’t even disguise the envy in his voice. Calum just laughs, throwing Michael a glance, and his eyes are glittering in the sunset, making Michael’s heart hurt a little bit. “You don’t deserve that.” 

“Hey,” Calum says, aiming for affronted, but he’s still grinning. “Don’t antagonise the driver.” 

“I can antagonise you all I want,” Michael says. “You’re not going to kill us on the way to an All Time Low gig.” 

“Might kill us on the way back, though,” Calum points out.

“Yeah, well, I can probably die happy, then,” Michael says, with a shrug. 

“True,” Calum agrees. “Good music, pretty boy in the passenger seat, what more could you want?” 

“Exactly,” Michael says emphatically, and it takes him until Calum’s started talking about the merits of Nothing Personal as compared to Don’t Panic to realise what Calum had just said. 

Michael’s in the passenger seat.

 ------- 

 The show, as expected, is amazing. 

Michael’s seen All Time Low, like, five times now, and they never fail to disappoint. He voices as such to Calum on the way home, running on a high of adrenaline and having seen Calum jumping in the pit, screaming the lyrics to every single song, which had only made Michael’s whole being-in-love-with-the-hot-PE-teacher situation a little more difficult to handle. 

“Right?” Calum enthuses, speeding along the almost-empty highway. “I’ve heard it so many times, but Therapy live just hits different.” 

“God, I know,” Michael groans, tipping his head back and closing his eyes, letting the memory flash in front of his eyes. “I actually heard the full band version live, once.” 

“Yeah?” Calum asks, a tinge of envy in his voice. Michael savours the moment. 

“Yeah,” he says, a touch smugly. “It was fucking sick.” 

“I can imagine,” Calum says. “I told Alex that they should play it like that tonight, but-” 

“Hang on,” Michael says, cutting Calum off, because he cannot be understanding this correctly. “Alex who?” Calum suddenly looks a little guilty. 

“Uh,” he says. 

“Alex who, Calum?” 

“Gaskarth?” Calum offers after a moment, and Michael gapes at him. 

“You know Alex Gaskarth?” 

“Well, y’know, I used to be in a band, and we opened for All Time Low, and-” 

“You opened for All Time Low?” Michael asks. Calum chews on his bottom lip. 

“Yeah,” he says. “I’m- look, I’m sorry for not telling you, okay? I got the tickets through Alex, but I thought if I told you you might just want to go for them, like, you wouldn’t get it, and-” 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you know All Time Low,” Michael huffs, sinking down in his seat. Calum throws him a worried look, so Michael adds: “I knew there was a reason I kept you around,” which makes Calum smile as he turns into Michael’s road. 

“Fuck you,” he says, but the concern is fading from his face as he parks on the road by Michael’s house this time. They both get out of the car, and then Michael hovers awkwardly by the little path that leads to his house. 

“You’re a traitor,” he says, when Calum rounds the corner of his car and comes to stand opposite Michael. He’s lit up in the orange light of the streetlights, dark brown hair surrounded by a halo of amber, and Michael doesn’t think he’s seen a prettier sight in his life.

“I had to make sure you were coming for me,” Calum protests, a smile playing at his lips. Michael blinks at him. 

“What do you mean?” he says, nonplussed. 

“Well, y’know,” Calum says, shrugging. 

“I don’t know,” Michael says. Calum looks at him oddly. 

“Wait,” he says. “You...you know this was a date, right?” Michael gapes at him. 

“Are you- wait, what?” Calum’s face falls, and he takes a step back, and no, no, no, that’s not what Michael wants. “Wait, no, I-” 

“Fuck,” Calum says, laughing uncomfortably as he cards a hand through his hair. “I probably should have made it clearer, huh? I did say I was bad at asking out cute boys.” 

“Me?” Michael’s voice is a good three octaves higher than usual. “You think I’m cute?” Calum smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

“Michael, I’ve been flirting with you since, like, the minute I saw you,” he says. 

“You have?” 

“Jesus Christ,” Calum mutters, and then seems to pull himself together. “Look, I’m sorry if I, like, overstepped, made things uncomfortable, whatever. I’m happy to keep it professional, and-” he cuts himself off when Michael laughs. “What?” he says, and it comes out snappy. 

“Are you serious?” Michael says, and he’s grinning now, so much he thinks he probably looks a little creepy. 

“You’re kind of being a dickhead, now, you know that?” Calum says, a little sharply. 

“No, Calum, I- fucking hell,” Michael says, and a bubble of manic laughter escapes from him. “I’ve been kind of in love with you since, like, before we met.” Calum looks at him for a moment, expression unreadable

“Before we met?” Calum asks carefully. 

“Yeah,” Michael says, nodding. “10C pointed you out, in first period, and I kind of stared at you for half the lesson.” Calum says nothing for a moment, just keeps looking at Michael, and it’s starting to get a little unnerving, when-

“Oh,” Calum says, and a small smile is creeping onto his face. “You- wait, so, like, I didn’t misread it? You do like me?” 

“I mean, I did just say I was kind of in love with you, but sure, I like you," Michael says, and Calum grins, lit up by the streetlights and his happiness, and Michael thinks he’s found space in his heart that he didn’t even know he had since meeting Calum. 

“So,” Calum says. “This was a date?”

“This was definitely a date,” Michael agrees, feeling his stomach flip pleasantly at the words. 

“Would it be cliché to kiss you goodnight?” Calum asks, and Michael grins. 

“Definitely,” he says, “but I’ll kill you if you don’t.” Calum grins back, and takes two steps forward to close the space between them, bringing a hand to Michael’s jaw and pressing his lips to Michael’s gently. It’s chaste, sweet, slow, languid, and Calum kisses like Michael’s the only thing that matters in the world. He smells like mint and pine and vanilla, pressed close to Michael’s chest, slipping an arm around Michael’s waist, and Michael groans into the kiss as he thinks about Calum’s long fingers splayed across the small of his back. 

“Too much?” Calum asks, breaking away, and Michael shakes his head, pressing his forehead against Calum’s shoulder. 

“Not enough,” he says, because he doesn’t think he’s ever going to get enough of Calum Hood. Calum pulls him in for a proper hug, pressing a soft kiss to his temple, and Michael’s glad Calum’s got strong arms because he feels like his knees are about to give in. 

“Do you want to come in?” he mumbles against Calum’s shoulder. 

“Is that a proposition?” Calum says, smile evident in his voice. 

“Do you want it to be?”

“Maybe.” Michael swallows. Jesus Christ. 

“Then it is.” Calum pulls back and looks at Michael, suddenly serious. 

“Hey,” he says. “This isn’t- this isn’t just sex for me. I really like you, Michael. If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I want something more with you.” Michael grins. 

“Have I got to repeat the whole ‘kind of in love with you’ thing again?” he says, and Calum grins back. 

“Alright,” he says, and Michael hears his car squeaking to indicate it’s locked. “You’re making the excuses when we turn up to school tomorrow, though.” 

 -------

 A few students give them strange looks when they get out of Michael’s car in the morning. 

“Is this seriously the sportiest thing you own?” Calum grumbles for the fiftieth time, picking at the green hoodie and black jogging bottoms that Michael had chucked at him that morning. 

“Quit complaining,” Michael says, locking the car behind them and starting across the car park to the school. “Green’s your colour.” 

“Oh, that’s why you picked it,” Calum says, jogging a little to catch up with Michael. 

“Yeah,” Michael says with a grin, unashamed. Calum shakes his head, but he’s grinning too. 

“I’d kiss you right now if I could,” he says, as they turn into the building. 

“What’s stopping you?” Michael asks, as they make their way up the stairs to the staff room. 

“Uh, code of conduct? The contract I signed when I joined the school?” Michael rolls his eyes as he pushes open the door to the staff room. 

“Morning!” he chirps, heading straight for the desk Luke and Ashton are already sat at, Calum in his wake. 

“Morning!” a few people in the room chorus over the general buzz of post-weekend chatter. 

“Hey,” Luke says loudly, frowning. “Why’s Calum wearing your clothes?” 

The room goes still, and Michael just grins. 

[eaudrey35]

My thoughts:Scandal

Empowerment:

I am truly trying to put into words how disgusting vile disgrace degrading Shonda Rhimes view of wm empowerment is. Her view of wm empowerment is controlling and hating a man. Her view of wm sexual empowerment is sleeping with multiple men. That is just vile. A women empowerment is all abt respect. It abt confidence it abt fixing urself when u r broken. It abt having a healthy mind body and spirit. It abt knowing ur worth and who u r. It abt being a partner. The why Shonda Rhimes and those kindergarten writers have Olivia Pope acting isn't no where near empowering. It degrading disgusting disgraceful. Olivia Pope has no power at all. Yelling controlling isn't attributes of real power. Ppl who r powerless does those thing to feel powerful. Shonda Rhimes has no clue abt what a true empowering women is. It is sad and pathetic to see that the why she has Olivia Pope acting is her pathetic view of a women's empowerment.

Sexual empowerment

So Olivia sleeps with two men n the same episode one who is her married abuser and the other is just i meet u hook up. Like wtf. Olivia Pope is a walking vagina. Nothing abt this is sexual empowering. U can sleep with one man r no one is still b sexual empowered because being sexual empowering has nothing to do with sex. It has to do with knowing urself intimacy caring love kindess touching feeling a true connection. Olivia Pope isn't feeling any of that. She having sex just to have sex cause she to lazy to truly fix herself. That is sad that is pathetic and I for one just find it demeaning degrading disrespectful of herself and her body.

My thing is if Shonda Rhimes thinks the way she is writing Olivia Carolyn Pope the black woman is so empowering then why isn't she writing Mellie Abbey and Quinn the three white wm the same. Why r they not bed hoping. Why they not yelling and screaming. Why r they not being made to look like a sterotype. Know why cause Shonda Rhimes knows she can't n Hollywood being a blk wm write a white wm the way she is writing Olivia Carolyn Pope. She can't turn her into a vigina. She can't have her choked slut shame door slammed n her face force fingering. Shonda Rhimes knows she would feel so much clap back from white Hollywood white mainstream if she was to write Mellie Abbey and Quinn the same way she has written Olivia Pope. Shonda Rhimes also knew that she could do it her blk lead character and only clap back would b blk wm and who is going to listen to blk wm complain. Who will nobody. This is why I have always said she is bad for blk wm.

[wellthatwasaletdown]

I'm just waiting for Flo to shut it down, because she won't let this become a thing, she always defends herself

That's what I'm waiting for as well. I have seen her fiercely defend her boyfriend, Zach Braff, online when trolls made comments abt his age saying he looked old enough to be her father.

She actually made a video calling them out telling them that the abuse they throw at him, is abuse they are throwing at her.

She also said she doesn't want to have to be protecting her comments every time she posts a picture of him & asked that they unfollow her.

Could you imagine Harry defending Olivia like Flo defends Zach? I know his excuse is always the same "it wouldn't do any good" but at least it would show he acknowledges her existence & cares (a little) about what is being said about her & to her instead of giving his same lame speech at every show about tpwk when he did none of that when he started pursuing Olivia while she was still in a relationship w Jason.

I don't care if Olivia & Jason were having problems. harries love to use that excuse for Olivia cheating. You were w the man for almost a decade & loved him enough to make babies w him. Have the decency & respect to end things behind closed doors before humiliating him by going public w your new boy toy.

My God, Jason was bringing Daisy to the set of DWD & probably shaking Harry's hand all the while Harry was sexting his fiance dirty messages. Pretty trashy if you ask me, but please, continue tpwk.

And I still believe HO was only supposed to be a fling while filming don't worry darling. Olivia wanted Harry, but also didn't want to lose Jason. She thought she could have an affair w Harry & go back to the way things were w Jason once production ended, but Harry & Olivia got reckless & Jason found out.

We all know what happened next. HO went public at Azoff's wedding & here we are today, but I don't see this going the distance.

Olivia is doing everything in her power to hold on to Harry by following him all over the world going to as many shows as she can so he doesn't cheat on her, losing weight when she didn't need to, getting hair extensions, getting botox (lips), posing nude, clinging to his family & friends.

Harry is still in his 20's, has never been married, doesn't have any children (that we know of) & can have almost anyone he wants & probably does. Why would Olivia settle down w a guy that she has 10 yrs of life experience over? When she's not w Harry, she is probably obsessing over what he's doing. She has already reached so many milestones. Wouldn't she want someone more mature? I'm sure Harry is a nice guy, but he's a clown. And he's not only a serial cheater, but a liar & that has been proven time & time again by his own fans.

I give this relationship 5 yrs & that's being kind or Harry will resent her later. Especially if they don't have children & like someone already said Olivia is close to 40 & if Harry wants to start a family, they need to consider starting one soon which I can't believe I'm saying considering how much Harry would be away from his child w his crazy work schedule & touring. The end

.